Transcript of Postgame Show: Serving An On-Time God (feat. JuJu Gotti)

That's right. It's Thursday Thunder. That's right. It's presented by DraftKings. Draftkings, the Crown is yours. Juju, what do we got?

Man, we got the biggest of the big one tonight. You feel me? And we got Scooby snacks all across the board, usually. Just like I usually, I bet Sunday, there's Pittsburgh Stealers, every wide receiver over because it was like five yards each. That's how I usually go with these O'Miss guys, but they playing that vaunted Miami defense, so I got to narrow it down tonight. First leg, I'm going with Harrison Wallace III, not the fourth. You feel me? For over five catches, man. Five catches. He going to have to. There's going to be a lot going on out there. You dig? Second leg, I'm sticking with them boys, Dijon Stribbling, a. K. A. The Scribler. I'm going with my boy for over four catches tonight. You got to dig him. The Scribbler. I see you, brother. Next leg, I'm going with Keelan Marion from the U. You dig it? I'm going with my boy to have three receptions tonight. And the last leg, Big Flesh. You know we need Big Flesh tonight to tote that ball, to tote that rock. So I'm going with him for over 16 carries tonight. And the feet as trouble.

Jump in, man.

Can you guys help me figure out before we get to the rest of what it is we're doing with Juju here, including two top five lists, I want to simply be on for the rest of the day today until after the game, but no one wants to do it with me. And I feel like I'm just going to do a stream. I'm going to do a live cast tonight just by myself on the internet because none of you want to do it with me. That I'm just going to be alone at a microphone watching the game and no one else here wants to participate. I think our audience would want it. I think our audience would really enjoy spending that time with us, but no one here wants to do it with me.

Now, Juju, back me up on this. Is this another Jake Paul fight situation? We're like, This is a great idea. And then, What are you all doing it? Where's the way you're doing this?

Exactly. Don't get me started on the Jake Paul event because that boy, you all know me, I'm courtside shorty, so I'm used to a certain amount of playerism with my tickets. That boy Dan sat us in the back corner next to the bathroom. No wonder he ain't coming.

Juju, I'm going to tell you right now, this is what I suspect. I I suspect. Tickets would have been a lot better had Dan Levatard been there. Once they figured out, oh, they know Dan- Wait a minute.

Juju, you think I put you in a back row? The look on Chris Cody's face right now is he was deeply mortified by the idea that we were offered the best of tickets, and then all of a sudden, I don't go, and they don't become the best of tickets anymore.

They was trying to see. They was not just standing there to stand there. They were standing there because they couldn't see from our seats. I stayed an extra day in Miami for this. I could have went home to my boat. No one told me this.

I thought you guys were going to be making stuff from that. Did you make anything?

We did. We made a ton of stuff.

Thanks for watching, Dan.

Where was that spaghetti?

Juju, glass half full. We never would have met Tank, had we said anywhere else.

Hey, we deserved it.

What are your top five lists, Juju? What do you have for us today?

Well, first, before I get to the top five list, I want to say, you all tried to play me earlier on my Mike McDaniel glasses situation, but I serve an on time God. You dig? I don't know about you all. So Dune Glass is goofy as hell, and he got his goofy ass fired two seconds later. Salute. And as a fix, listeners, the first listener this weekend that can show me that you are subscribed to DLS Hoops and our DLS Hoops salt stack. I'm going to send you this brand new, never opened before Miami Mike shirt to you in the mail to commemorate my boy getting the hell out of town. That's why I dressed for the occasion. You did.

You got that put together quickly. You got all your Dolphin gear ready. Top five list. We got a couple of them today. Very fortunate. What do we do to deserve two top five lists today?

I had one prepared, but then the conversation broke off and I was like, Okay, let's get to this one as well. Top five shows to rewatch, you dig. I'm not talking about your Offices, Always Sunny, Martin, those comedies. We can play those all day, but just top five, like Dramas to rewatch. Oli, Top Yeah, they're good.

The British one?

Isn't it?

I can't deal with the accents, man. I tried. I couldn't do it.

Yeah, the same way I felt about pluribus. Whoa, be you. I'm glad all you all folks got to see it go nowhere. Number 5, Shameless.

I've never watched it.

I was watching it last night, actually.

I caught one episode by accident. I was like, This show's amazing. What is this? And it was Shameless, but I I never watched it.

Exactly. Number 4, The Wire. There's three better than that? Always good to watch that. You did. Come on, man. Number 3, Fargo.

It's a great show because every season is self-contained.

But which season? Four wasn't as good as the first three, wasn't it? Chris Rock?

I like the Chris Rock season. I like every season of Fargo. Fargo is always good.

Me, three. Check any other seasons out. Like I said, none of the seasons got nothing to do with the other one. I, True Detective, should have made my list. Just forgot all about that one. Number two, Breaking Bad.

Never seen, not one second. Oh, you got to.

It's really good. You have to.

I only watched the last episode.

What?

I remember I had never watched the series. It was the biggest thing. I knew the show was… I'm like, You know what?

Let me check this out. I know two scenes from the entire show. One is, You got to keep getting away with this because it's a meme, and the other one is a…

I thought a good idea for a podcast would be watching series, the first episode and last of a series, and then just trying to dissect the series just by the first and last. What would you call it? First and last? There you go.

You've never seen Breaking Bad.

Not even a second. You know what? That's insane. Do you know why? Because it was out at the same time as The Wire, and all these white people didn't want to watch The Wire all of a sudden. They were like, Oh, this guy sells drugs. This is so fun. I'm like, Oh, I see how it is. Then I turned it to a principle thing.

So you basically turned into Jason Whitlock is what you're saying.

Take that back, that magic crazy. You missed the magic right now. You take that back, boy, Bellamy. Then watch Breaking Bad, god damn it.

How dare you? Respect yourself.

That's the ultimate Number one.

Family ties.

Game of Thrones. Come on, man.

That's a hot take.

You're going to get sad, though, man.

With a Starbucks cup in the eighth. That feels like a really hot take.

In season 8. In Season 8, where there's a Starbucks cup on the set in one of the scenes. Come on, Juju.

We dive into this, by the way, Juju, on mystery Creed this week, but where Chris said he watched the last episode of Breaking Bad without having seen the rest of the series. I actually, while I was at work at channel 7 back in the day when the last episode was airing of Game of Thrones, I live-tweeted the last episode without having watched any of the series nor watching the episode. That's how many people were tweeting about it on the timeline at that time. I was just reacting to the reactions.

It was the thing, but damn, did you? The first four seasons of that show are probably the four best seasons of television anywhere. But then them last two or three, I don't know.

I ain't going to lie, they kept me glued. I was still glued. The same way I say, I like the pluribus, I still mess with the game of thons and them.

I'm only through two episodes of pluribus, so I haven't gotten to the rest of it yet. You're going to love it. I'm going to love it, but Juju is telling me to just stop.

I'm telling you, bro, your life's too important, bro. You got million dollar deals to sign. You got folks to employ. You got meetings to organize.

The reason I want to watch it, though, is because Vince Gilligan, who made Breaking Bad, who made-Better Call Saul. Yeah, Better Call Saul. Those are two of the best television shows I've ever seen, so I'm assuming that this one's It's going to be good, too.

Not a second.

Yeah, I would compare this to this. Michael Jordan is the best basketball player you've ever saw. I don't think you want to watch him coach the Little League team. It's still boring. So salut to the GOAT, salut to Vince Gilligan. But he missed with the pluribus. We got to be able to be honest with these folks. Our heroes, you missed with pluribus, on my opinion.

All right. Did Vince Gillian miss with pluribus, in your opinion, at Lebitard Show? What's the other top five list you got?

The All the top five list is just stuff I forgot to say this week. The lights come on. I started looking at photos.

I feel like that's a list you could do every week.

All right. You forgot to say, so you need to- You might be looking at me.

I'd be like, Oh, no, never mind.

Okay. So what are the five things you forgot to say this week?

All right. O-l-i. You know how good of a football player you have to be to make the world just not even care about you trying to kill a man with a helmet? Everybody forgot about Miles Garrett.

Miles Garrett, yeah, tried to kill...

It was a weird controversy. He had a controversy. He deserved it. But so you really think that you think Rudolf called him the N-word?

I believe Miles Garrett.

I can believe it. Number five. Y'all My boys need to get some WD-40 on them carousels when you all be riding them or something. Thank you.

You're so right about that, everybody. Yours was going backwards.

I was trying. I was in the chariot. Bleep off. I showed enthusiasm. Late in my I showed enthusiasm for the stupid coaching derriere's help. While Ron just sat there grinning, not doing much of anything until I reprimanded him. My die still hurt, man. What are you talking about?

I won't back you up anymore, Roy, because you talk. I apologize.

I apologize I went too far. I'm sorry. No.

No, no, no, no.

Number four, the Oklahoma City Thunder, Lost to the Hornets.

By 30 at home. By 30 at home.

Dan texted me.

I did ask him me, and I'm like, Why? Explains. I mean, explain this to me. Please explain it. Go ahead. Go ahead. Explain it. Go ahead and then hurry up and explain it.

God, I'll let him finish his list.

Number two, I call Snoop Dogg a hero. I forgot about what he been doing in the policy world.

You forgot, Chuju?

I ain't going to lie. I was thinking about a career path. I'm like, damn, I like to be able to do sports and music. That's right up my alley. I forgot about all the other stuff, hand out of bounds on me.

Chuju, that's a lot of stuff you forgot, Chuchu.

It was recent. What happened in the last year, man?

It's on me, coach. Sorry about that. Number two, Zazlo trying to steal that brother job. What the hell was that?

That's right. Clean as dang. That's right.

And got a nerve to still be like, I'm going to text him to see how he's doing. Do not look out there. You all try to steal my job. Don't text my phone, man. Leave me alone, bro. Salute his ass, though. Judge Zaz. Number one thing I forgot to say this week, man, we all forgot to say this. Congratulations to Chris Whittingham, man. Oh, yeah. My boy got engaged.

Yes. Come on, bro. Look at that. Thank you for... Yes, we We've got to get some fancy lad in here. Let's go. Yes.

Yes, sir. Chris Whittingham is a fancy lad.

Okay, question. Does she know that he uses his oven as a clock?

I mean, I would love to ask her a series of game show questions.

We have to interview her.

I cannot wait to see and watch how starched this wedding is.

We have to have her on the show, and we just have to... You know what? We do true or false, and we come up with a bunch of things about Chris. Some of them are true, some of them are false, and she has to figure out what's real and what's not.

That's a good game show. Yes, congratulations to the fancy lad. Always happy. He is moving up in the world. As soon as he leaves here, he finds love.

I've told you, Dan, many a time, one of the weirdest experiences of my life is walking around my house house, and my dad likes to watch a lot of soccer on his iPad, either highlights or full games, whatever. I'll be doing something, I'm like, Why does that sound familiar? I realized my father is watching a game that Chris Whittingham has called.

He's a giant voice. He's crazy. He's calling the biggest games.

He doesn't watch any heat games on his iPad?

He's very young, and he's arrived at the top of the world's sport, and the World Cup is coming. It's great to watch all of it. Happy for winning him. Before we get to the polls here, Juju, do you have any Super Bowl predictions for us Do you have any predictions in general?

I got the predictions, bro. Unfortunately, my bills, man. Everybody been saying it all week, Oh, it's time for Josh Jelen. Like, bro, our defense, our run defense is trash, man. I don't have too many high hopes for us in the Super Bowl era.

No rubber tree?

Bet plan? No rubber tree plan, man. Not at all. But I definitely think we should hire How about as a Dolphine. Neither here nor there. But I think the Super Bowl this year will be the LA Rams versus the Jacksonville Jaguars. What?

I'm with you, Juju. I like it.

Wait a minute. So Juju's got the Rams winning three road games? Yeah, I do. You got them winning three road games together.

That's not as shocking as- They got Devante Adams back this week.

That's what you took away from that. They forgot about that.

Rizum. Instead of the Jags?

Jags is sneaky hot right now, guys.

I don't care how sneaky they are.

I would be so happy to see that.

Jags in the Super Bowl?

Nobody like it. It's an emotional hedge from Juju right there. That's what he's doing.

That's what he's doing. That's right. I'm doing the thing.

Polls at Levitard Show Juju.

Can you write as fast as someone speaks for 20 minutes? 91% of the audience says, No, they can't.

Greg Cody alleged that he could keep notes for 20 minutes with somebody because he write so fast. Your father's delusional, Chris.

Do reporters in the locker room still use pens? 54% of the audience says, No, they don't. They do.

Some of them. They do.

A lot of them do. The older ones. The older ones.

Got the reporter pad and everything.

The pad and everything.

But they record it, and then I look at the pad, and it's just a word to pretend like they are writing something down when a player says something interesting.

No, you got to get that right. You got to get those.

Those quotes have to be accurate. People don't-That's why they record it.

None of them are writing the quotes down the way that Greg Cody is saying he does.

Or he's misquoting everybody. They're writing thoughts down. They're recording, but they're writing-You can't read them. You can't read them. Not one of them.

What else you got? Also, earlier this week, I didn't put this on the poll because I I didn't want to find out if the answer was yes on the poll. But can you still say peg leg? I heard it. I just didn't put it up. I didn't want to be the wrong- You could say peg leg.

I want it up on the poll. I am offended.

It's a. I want to live dangerously. It's not just... Wait a minute. It's not just pirates who have prosthetics. They just have peg legs, that's all.

No, a peg leg is not any prosthetic. It's a specific It's a peg.

You walk like this. No, but it's no. It's a leg that's a peg. Look, the question being asked is not, can you still reference that a pirate has a peg leg? The question is whether or not you can refer to a prosthetic leg as a peg leg, and you guys just made it a pirate because you want to make jokes about a disability, and it's okay. Walk the point. See, this is the thing. It's fine to make fun of a pirate's disability. A thousand doublooms. You can go after the eye patch as well. It's a pirate.

You can make fun of all-Shiver me timber.

Next monster spot.

Davy Jones Locker. Paul Skins.

Does Ed Ozeran look like that woman that your lesbian aunt has been bringing to the Thanksgiving for the last few years. 97% of you are going to say yes.

Who said that one, man?

It's actually me.

I'm sorry that I sounded so disappointed that he got one funny.

You were so upset that I got one right.

Thought he was an ally.

I'm an ally. Can you be shot without being surprised? 53% of the audience says yes. A guy who calls an airplane a bird, douche or no douche. 82% of the audience says douche.

Oh, put this on the poll, please. Juju, do me a favor, because I meant to call Mike Ryan out on this earlier in the show. He comes on the show, and this is the reason that everyone hates Miami and will hate Miami tonight.

I'm going to say why everyone hates my...

Him saying that in the analysis of the vibes around the Miami football team, that Miami's dialed and not saying the in, that Miami Miami.

He just said Miami's dialed, not Miami's dialed in.

Douche or no douche. Guy who says Miami's dialed instead of dialed in because he can't. He's too busy to use the in there, and he has to be cool with the dialed. That's That's why people hate Miami. Right there.

Last poll. Is family ties as good as a rewatch as the Sopranos?

They're going to come back 100%.

78% of the audience says, No, it is not. And those are your posts. Children.

Dan, just to clarify, no Edward Cabrera talker.

Can you please play for me Hawk's Old Pirate song that just mentioned a bunch of different pirates?

Blackbeard, Dale Barra, John McKay, Bill Day, Walk the Plank, Ipatch, Vince DiMagio, Bill Madlock, Jim Fregosi, Connie Mac, Willy Star, Julema Zilly, Lloyd McClendon, Sixto Lescano. Scurvy, buried treasure, Raymond James Stadium, Testa Verdi, Quishon Johnson, Ken O'Burkefell, Ed Ott, Dave Parker, Leroy Selman, Chumbuck, and Michael Stott, Kenta Colby, Richies, His Creek, Russia, Lange on Gruden.

We are scared of pirates.

They are always scary and they're never caring.

Chris, do me the favor. I know you're fading this out. I just want to keep talking. You guys can just go, and I'm just going to keep going here for a while. You can just put it on YouTube, and I'm going to see if I... I'm going to see. At some point here, I'm going to pop up on YouTube over the course of the next 12 hours and just start droning into a drink how sad I am that I started a media that everyone wants to go eat instead of work. I'm going to explain to people how sad it makes me that at this great time in University of Miami history, as the dolphins fire their coach and football matters more than it ever has, I've got a whole bunch of media people who don't actually want to do their job.

I'll hang out with you, Dan. You want me to do it?

Juju, would you like to hang out with me? If I put together a guerrilla live stream tonight where we're just screwing around watching the game, I have not been able to get anybody to hang out with me. Nobody wants to work. I'm a little bit surprised, Juju. I'm surprised and mortified that at this time in Miami history, when we've been talking football for 20 years, everyone's got something better to do other than just to pop up on YouTube and entertain our audience by watching the game with us. Who can we get together? Can you help me? Can you, Jeremy, me and a couple of others, help me make something this evening that isn't quite as lonely as I imagine it's being? Because they left while I was talking about this, and I've been waiting for this game for 20 years, and you guys haven't met the moment with Bigger.

Yeah, I'm there. You can count me in no matter what. Thursday night football is about the you tonight, so I don't be there. I would love to be right by you whenever they slay this dragon tonight.

She's probably got Damosheck, right? He'll talk.

No, I don't need- No, I'm out. I can't make it, but I'm sure he can do it. No.