Transcript of The Big Suey: I Need Your Support

Now is a good time to remember where tequila's story truly began. In 1795, Cuervo invented tequila. Cuervo. What are you doing here? Cuervo.

Anytime someone says Cuervo, I show up.

Well, I do know that to be true, but even during an ad, reads like... Cuervo. I think you could lay out, especially for one of our great partners.

Sweet, delicious Cuervo.

Since then, Cuervo has stayed true to its roots. The same family, the same land, the same passion. Cuervo. So enjoy the tequila that started it all. Cuervo. Cuervo. The tequila that invented tequila. Roximo. Cuervo. Com. Please drink responsibly. Cuervo.

Welcome to the Big Sui, presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Levitard podcast. I'm sorry. I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't to you guys? I've done it. Now, here's the Marching Man to nowhere, fatface, and the habitual liar.

This episode of the Dan Levitard Show is presented by DraftKings. Draftkings, the Crown is yours.

Greg has come in hot, and Zazlo has now been witnessed to it in the privacy of this sacred room right here. We've had some sparks. Cody is mad. Chris, you didn't tell me your father was mad about something that happened on the show last week. You did not inform me. Your father was hurt by something, and it just spilled out into this room, and Zazlo was just witnessed to it. As judge, juror, and journalist, good judger, you would say what about what you just saw between me and Greg Cody?

I would say there's a lot of pent-up frustration, maybe even anger.

What show are we talking about here? Is he mad at me from the Greg Cody show? No, he's mad at Dan. About last week's show.

He's mad at Dan. But I think Dan thinks that maybe you should have tipped him off that your father's upset.

I actually, on my latest podcast, which dropped this morning, Monday morning. I actually make reference to that, fleetingly, because we do a little bit of our own tribute to Billy Gill, and I mentioned why I appreciated Billy so much, and one of the reasons was I get beat up on this show, oft times unfairly, just for the sake of a joke. And that happened last week when I was, in his mind, I was a few minutes late breaking the story on Billy leaving, even though the story posted a few minutes before- 903. Well, it They posted on 8: 58, and I have the proof. But-show starts at 8: 55. This guy referred to me on the air twice. He repeated it as a fool.

He didn't like that. That's right.

He said, Chris, your dad is a fool, and he repeated that. I'm not a fool. I don't appreciate being called that, even if it's for the sake of a joke. I try not to get on you. A few minutes ago, you repeated that 1,600 streak, almost as if Mike hadn't said the same stat seconds ago, seconds earlier. Steve Martin, yeah. What the hell are you doing? Are you not paying attention to your own show? I could get on you more than I do.

Would a fool not pay attention?

I have civility. A fool might not pay attention. That's correct.

Dan, you broke the golden rule that you taught me years and years ago. Criticize the action, not the actor. Exhibits the behavior of a fool, not calling him a fool.

Thank you, Billy.

When you were talking about scandal, I thought you were talking on the Greg Cody show because there is a PFPI scandal people need to tune in for.

Okay. The Greg Cody Show featuring Greg Cody. With. Get it wherever you get your podcast. He's hot. Look, everybody knows that I love him, and sometimes I take it too far and around. The thing that made me laugh in the bakery here was him screaming at me some form of, I was wrong about my opinion. I was late by my opinion for by four weeks. I was late to my own opinion.

Right. You were. No, I wasn't. No, because in this case, my opinion was it may be time to make a coaching change. I didn't think that a month ago. Maybe you did. I didn't.

But if everybody was ahead of you and you're now here, you can't acknowledge- That makes you late. I'm late to this party. I now acknowledge what a lot of people were acknowledging a month ago. This is pretty obvious.

Okay, I'm the only one who's a caretaker of my own opinion. Okay. By the way, Levatard, this is not a bakery. Quit referring to your show in this studio is a bakery. The hell are you doing? Give me a turnover. Like Tua said yesterday, give me your turnover. Three of them. Yeah, three of them.

Three interceptions. Again, first since Moreno to have multiple three interception games when the flames are climbing highest. This is how leadership gets swallowed. I don't want to talk about the dolphins anymore.

Yeah, you do. Well, you don't have to because Ian Rappaport has come out with the scoop. What do you say? No change is expected for the Miami Dolphins. Hello.

There you go. Steven Ross moving like a male, a human tortoise.

I get it, though. So he's late to his opinion?

No, he's the only one whose opinion matters, but I can have a comment on it if I choose.

Where do you have them ranked now? You had them 15th at the beginning of the season.

Right now, they would probably be in the 28 to 30 range.

You think there could potentially be four teams better than the Dolphins right now?

There's a lot of bad teams. There's a lot of disparity in the NFL right now. And yeah, there are five or six teams that are really, really bad. The Dolphins among them, but not at the bottom of it.

There's a theory back here that Mike McDaniel perhaps has the greatest job security of all because the dolphins are in the middle of a lawsuit, right? Firing a black coach because he's black. You can't fire two black coaches in a row. That's even worse. Get the hell out of here. Well, I'm just saying, Zaz, if you're in a lawsuit, you're not going to do stuff that confirms the lawsuit.

The general manager is Black, too. You can't fire him either.

Well, I have heard that theory about Brian Flores' lawsuit being involved in the machinations that are going on right now. One of them is that if you fire Chris Greer, all of a sudden, maybe he turns against you in a trial, in a lawsuit.

Oh, wow, that's juicy.

There's a lot going on.

I wonder if they're hiring? But I hadn't even considered that. That's juicy, though. The idea that Steven Ross couldn't and wouldn't make a change. It's not because he's not frustrated. It's not because he hates the customers. But really, I'm going to take the optic hits on that as at the end of my life.

Well, I still believe firmly, and I would bet big on this, that, okay, McDaniel gets the so-called vote of confidence right now. Fine. I don't know.

Can you imagine if Steven Ross comes out today and gives a vote of confidence? Yeah.

But that's what you do, right? If you don't want to fire your guy and you don't want him to twist in the wind, you say, no, we're not considering a change.

You guys are all consistently saying, just lie to your people. Mcdaniel, stop talking so much. Tua, stop talking so much. I used to like it when you talked a lot, but now you're You're not nine and two anymore. Steven Ross, say something. Don't say that. Say something different. That's why the conversation around this team, it's the same thing happening around the Jets. You cannot feed your customers. The game's too expensive. You can't have an absence of hope. He says there are five teams worse. Man, it's the Jets. It's the Saints who are in salary cap hell. And that's about it, Craig.

Tennessee is pretty bad.

Okay, Tennessee because Cam Ward has been sacked 27 times, and he This half of the season, look, man, we've sped all this up, right? Kam Ward has to figure it out in eight games in Tennessee, and there's a lot wrong in Tennessee. But yes, you're right. Tennessee is also one of the teams. But there are precious few who don't have a chance. And even the Titans against the Mighty Patriots of Drake May yesterday, Drake May putting on a perfect performance. At the half, that game was close. And then Kam Ward is fumbling the ball into his own end zone because that's what rookies tend to look like seven games in sometimes when they're not quite ready to play the position.

I'll tell you, I'm shook by Greg's revelation, which may very well be true, that Chris Greer could still potentially be here because the Dolphins are afraid he turns state witness.

It's something that I've heard floated out there by someone connected with the dolphins who I talk to regularly, mostly by text. Whether or not- This happens to know? Even he said- This is a happens to know.

This is a happens to know. Wait a minute. Greg, he- He happens to know?

Great Scott, he happens to know.

He He happens to know. I get what you're doing, Greg. Gather, everyone.

Get the children. He happens to know.

In this case- So wise. In this case, the person I talk to happens to think he might know. I'm just saying I have heard this as spectaculation.

Do we ever happen to think he might know anything?

Backpedaling. I'm not reporting anything.

You guys need to stay wise. That was just a little chicken wing to Dan Lebitard. I'm still on these journalist streets working sources.

Well, I mean...

Via text, he told us.

I have a text buddy who's very good to me.

That's a dangerous game. Putting out fragile information via text?

No, it really isn't.

I would think the real reporting these days still happens with a phone call. No. You don't want that in writing.

Chris, you don't want that in writing? You want your voice on the record? Sounding like Donald Sterling. Is this your voice? No. With the text, you could say, That's not me. He changed someone else's number, put my initials there. That's not me.

I got to hear it. If I see it, it's not true. I got to hear Okay.

Not all sources are local.

See? That's journalism.

Not all Dolphin sources live in Miami.

You can call anyone that's not from Miami.

You can text as well.

You got that unlimited plan?

You're The other one who told me there's no such thing as voicemail anymore. I tried to leave a voicemail with this kid. It says mailbox is full. Interesting. He's like, Nobody leaves a voicemail anymore.

You brought up voicemails. You said you didn't want to play this. Now we're playing this on Saturday night.

No, no, no.

Go on.

I don't want to play that.

All right, I'll set it up for the audience, then we can decide if we play.

People can go to the website. Our website? Whatever I'm writing. Our podcast.

Greg, hold on. Just trust your son for a moment. In the bakery. In the bakery. He's one of our governing chefs.

He can explain it, but don't play.

The FBI pics are due Saturday at 1: 00 PM. If you don't get them in by then, that's not fantasy. It's sending in our winners for the week, sent in by Saturday, 1: 00 PM. If you don't do it, you start getting text. If it's 4: 00 or 5: 00 PM, he sends a text. This is the last text. I will be calling. I did my Oktoberfest on Saturday with my family. You know the thing where I got the toe a couple of years ago with the guy's toe? Baloney. I did that thing on Saturday. I was late with my... Admittedly, my fault, I was late. It was like 9: 00 PM, hadn't sent my pics yet.

You were nine hours late.

I get a phone call from my dad, and then a voicemail in which I realized my dad doesn't realize he's leaving a voicemail. This is my dad after he called me. Don't play that.

No, I don't want that played. Why? If you want to listen to it, it's on my podcast. I don't want that played.

He sounds hammered.

That's why. For a couple of reasons.

You don't want to play because you want to heard first on your podcast.

Well, that's part of it. Come on. Oh, come on, says a guy who has a podcast and would do the exact same thing as I'm doing. I would not. Yeah, you would. I'm literally never-Crincer. Liar.

I've never withheld information here for my podcast.

Never.

Yeah, that's right.

There's the tell from Oktoberfest.

Yeah. So what a great sentence by you. I was at my annual Oktoberfest. I cannot tell you, okay? I cannot tell you. You brought me back to a time so disconcerting, so unpleasant, where you revealed the toe from, yes, your Oktoberfest.

Oktoberfest. I was in a bathroom, and I looked down, I'm sitting at the stall, and I looked to the right, and this guy's encroachment. Encroachment, guy next to me, he's in my stall. His foot was in my area.

I have to get to the Hampton Farms, Nuttiest fan. Please keep this energy all show, Greg. Okay?

Wait, so we're not playing the voicemail?

No, you can hear it on my podcast, which dropped this morning. I mean, seriously, I'm not proud of it.

Wait a minute. It already dropped?

Yes.

I didn't know I was being recorded.

No, you did. You didn't hang up your phone. You called me. That's the best part of this.

You've already aird this, and now you're embargoing something you've already aird?

Yeah, because if you want to listen to it, you can go to my podcast.

This is him talking to my mom after he's called me Saying that I need to be able to punish him for not getting his pics in, and I need your vote. This is collusion. He's talking to another member of the league that he sleeps with, and he's a commissioner, and he's pressuring her to vote his way on a league vote.

Listen, I tried to explain to Junior, and commissioners know each other. Okay, Goodell, me, all the commissioners know each other. If Roger Goodell is trying to pass something with the other owners in the NFL, you don't think he goes to other and say, Hey, I need your support.

I think it's gross.

There's audio proof of you colluding with another owner you sleep with?

That he sleeps with. I don't call it collusion.

He's the Commissioner. She's just an owner. He sleeps with her.

By the way, Chris, you're making the exact point was why sources don't call.

See? Thank you, Amine.

Because we have him on the record?

Amine gets me. All your favorite NBA players are back. In DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports bet and partner of the NBA, is the place to bet on NBA stars this season. New customers download the DraftKings Sportsbook You can now use code Dan, that's code D-A-N, to bet five bucks and get three months of NBA League pass, plus get $300 in bonus bets if your bet wins. In partnership with DraftKings, the crown is yours.

Gambleing problem? Call 1-800 Gambler. In New York, Call 877-8 Hope & Y or text Hope & Y 467-369. In Connecticut, help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg. Org. Please play responsibly. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino and Resort in Kansas, pass through a per Major tax may apply in Illinois. 21 and over. Age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Void in Ontario. Restrictions apply. Bet must win to receive bonus bets which expire in seven days. Minimum odds required. Nba League Pass auto renews until canceled. Additional terms at dkng. Co/audio. Limited time offer.

Howdy, listeners. It's Mike Ryan and Chris Cody. Hey, everyone. Hey, Chris. We love hanging out so much. You were at my birthday the other day. You're old. You know what I saw in your hand? What? A can of Miller light. Whether it's a can, whether it's a bottle, a draft pour of Miller light. The draft pour, you see that beautiful iconic color right away.

The coldness to it.

Yes, Chris. The ice coldness to it. Whether you're hanging out with me on my birthday because I'm old or you're at a game, you know that Miller light just makes every special time a Miller time. That's how you make the special times by making a Miller time. Game day just hits different with Miller Lite in your hand. Hitting different. From jaw-dropping touch downs to fantasy heartbreak, it's a beer that has been there for every moment. Fifty years of great taste, simple ingredients, and that iconic golden color. That coldness, Chris.

That icy coldness.

That icy coldness. The original light beer since 1975 and still hitting different five decades later. Miller Light, great taste, 96 calories. Go to millerlight. Com/dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Light pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3. 2 carbs per 12 ounces. I see coldness.

Don Levatard. He called me on my own podcast. He called me full of shit, claiming that I'm faking interest in the solar eclipse.

Well, you do this. You love to just get excited about everything.

Okay, Junior. Stugatz. I had to school you and explain to you.

He was going to take you to Augusta.

When I was 17 years old, Alan Cherry and I used to haunt the Buhler Planetarium. This is the Don Levatard show with the You got.

Please, can I play this?

No, let's not.

No, we must. No, here's the thing.

No, no, no.

Chris, this is what I'm telling you. Wait a minute. Greg, we're all a network here, okay? We're all working in this job together to try and make sure that everyone gets the clicks and no one's trying to deny you your beloved clicks.

Maybe we play half of it?

No, I'm thinking You call, you download it on your phone, give your father the click, anybody can do that, and you just put that into the microphone.

The audio is so bad enough.

It's bad.

It's not great audio.

Imagine that. I didn't know I was being recorded. I didn't know the phone was up. You called me. I didn't know I had left the phone on. You left me the voicemail. Why didn't you hang up? Why are you waiting for me to hang up?

I didn't answer.

It's a voicemail. Is your voicemail full because it's- Why didn't I hang up? What is happening right now?

This guy He didn't take a voicemail.

What if I have a solution? What if I... So you get the download, I play from your podcast into the microphone?

I'd rather you didn't.

But then you get the down, though.

Can I stop you? No, I would rather you didn't.

Guys, this isn't about teasing it. He sounds hammered and he's embarrassed.

But he's going to sell it for his own.

Can we just play the first sentence to let people get a taste of it? Then we'll stop it and they'll have to go listen the rest of it?

That's the solution.

That's a good compliment.

That's a decent compliment.

You're not lying to me.

You tell me when to stop it, and we'll stop it. No, you stop after the first sentence.

All right, let's negotiate this, Greg. What would please... Hold on.

There's long gaps here. How many seconds? Listen. The full thing is 22 seconds.

Okay, we'll negotiate this in a second. We will, I assume, at some point get to the University of Miami. I got Hampton Farms. I have to do not a his fan. I got Tony's top five is lingering out there. He wants to give us... He's been late with his football opinion. So when he says, Dan, the colds are good, he's doing that on Tuesday after it's already been said. It's too late. So Tony wants in on the show, and I've got to get to him at some point with his top five because we got the basketball guy back there. And he's doing a good job because he's got the best team in the ACC. He's got one of two coaches now because... Well, we'll get to it.

Stay focused.

Yes. I'm sorry. No, because I do want to get to the University of Miami. But Greg's temperature is hot, and I believe you've cooled him down now. But in order to tease his podcast and get him the clicks, maximum efficiency as a team, what little tease are you willing to give your son seven seconds of a 22-second clip so they can hear the rest of your secret shame, so secret your drunkenness, that you publicized it for your gain this morning?

I think there are long enough gaps in here where you can jump in and be like, Okay, that's it.

The best part of that is what your mother says at the end.

And we won't get to that. We will not reveal that.

I don't want all of me before that. No. All right.

Just play this out. Just say- Say, Stop it when you want me to. Ready? Here we go. This is my dad calling me on Saturday night, leaving me a voicemail. He doesn't know he's leaving me, complaining to my mom about me not getting my pics in in time.

I'm going to send a group text to the lead this coming week, proposing punishment powers. Okay, that's enough. If anything like this happens. That's enough.

Stop it. Chris, you said to stop it. You promised him.

He does sound drunk. Then he goes, And I need your support.

Okay.

All right, just play it.

Just play that part. No, no, no, no, No, he has not to. He has not to. Listen, understand one thing. That wasn't the Commissioner of PFPI talking to Mom's Maniacs. That was Greg talking to his wife. There's a separation of church and state there.

But you were slow. You wait, wait, wait. You promised him you wouldn't. That was replay. Don't make him angrier.

There's more that you can listen to on my podcast. That's all. That's the thing. If anything like this happens.

Look, I don't want to keep upsetting your father.

I need your support. Okay. All right.

That's it. I promise.

It's lecherous. It's slurring. It sounds a bit drunk.

In Greg's defense, it was the weekend.

And it is collusion. Thank you. It's absolute collusion.

No, it isn't. Is it collusion when Roger Goodell speaks to the owner of so-and-so because he wants his support?

Yes.

It is collusion. You think good luck through in that in court.

Let's punish. Hey, let's get together and punish somebody. Yes. Bob Kraft.

I need you to vote with me on this.

Okay, this guy- What do you mean?

This guy is the only one who's consistently late with his pics.

Here we go. All right, no one cares about this part.

Well, I do as a commissioner. And as your father, quite frankly, it increases my stress level. Eventually, I call him, he never answers. You'll admit, though. I text his wife to try to say, Hey, your husband still hadn't given me his pics. Kick him in the ass.

You'll admit that you're sleeping with a member of the League?

Just to be clear, though, he's not okay with the lateness of the pics, but he is okay being late to his own opinion and late to this show.

I'm okay having my own opinion when I have it, and I am okay being late to this show.

That's a great T-shirt. I'm okay about having my opinion when I have Isn't everybody? But okay, I'm going to move away from the Dolphins now. Who are the Hampton Farms' nuttiest fan participants here? Because I did want to get to what Jeff Bram and Brent Key did this weekend because- Dan, this is very exciting.

We have two nominees, the nuttiest fan brought to you by Hampton Farms. Get nutty with Hampton Farms, the official peanut of bowl season. Vote for your favorite nutty fan at Lebitard Show on Instagram. We have two nominees here. First, the B-Y-U fans making their President. Surf, crowd surf. Bio President Shane Reece crowd surfing after they beat Utah. You got to check for your wallet.

Still undefeated. Bio is still undefeated. They went into the playoff.

I mean, this guy, crowd surfing. He could surf forever. There's a lot of people there. And going against, we got to always have some Miami in this, DJ Khaled before the game, warming up with the University of Miami doing calisthenics as we pan over to a DJ Khaled getting his workout in. Yeah, that's good. He's a nutty fan. You can vote at Levitard Show for this week's nuttiest fan. You good, dad?

Yeah. Whenever I have... There's a cough button down here.

Other mics are on in the room.

Whatever. That thing.

Your glasses are steamed up.

I know they are. I'm steamed up.

Can I apologize to you here in front of everybody?

Anything to avoid you, Mtau, for calling you a fool twice?

Well, is it a sincere apology? Yes. There was a pause there. Did you see that? D dramatic pause before he said yes. Okay, then I accept.

Thank you. Well, would you like the apology at the expense of the entire clipping plate? Is the apology worth that?

No. Why? I negotiated it poorly, right? Because I gave him the apology. He questioned it. It's funny that we're bowing to this whim because, again, he's already published the Drunken Slurs of Punishment and Collusion with Mom's Maniac.

Slurring, not slurs.

For sure, that's your father drunk, for sure. That is the end of the night, and he is colludinging, and his boosiest worst behavior because he wants to win the league, and you must be punished.

The part here, I just want to reemphasize. A lot of people are like, Oh, there's the PFPI, shtick, bit. He has no clue that that's... He thinks that is just him talking to my... That is so genuine of how serious he takes it. That's my favorite part of it.

If I knew I was being recorded, I would have had a little more liveliness in my voice. I sounded like I was coming out of a crypt. I mean, ridiculous. I'm going to send a group text to the lead this coming week, proposing punishment powers. Okay, that's enough. Who can't give anything like this happen?

Okay. I love my mom there.

She tolerated so many calls like this.

She's got to go get her voice. It's very patronizing.

I I bet you her voicemails are littered with you. We should hire Investigator Ted Wells. I'm sure there are dozens of messages. I'm sure. I'm going to need your support. We can buy from your mother just eternal shame for your father, which would be a trove of a dozen messages like this that he calls whenever he's had too many beers.

I need your support. All right, look, we're an eight-team league.

Three people. Look at that collusion.

Three people, 37. 5% of the league are in his house.

And you're never going to hear me saying that to them.

It's my point. Because you think it goes without saying that your wife and your daughter are going to side with you. So I need to marshal and corral the other people. I need your support. Damn right I do.

Nobody in this family takes it as seriously as he does. Thank you.

And proudly, I invented PFPI, although perhaps my brother did. One of us invented PFPI in 1969. I did it, but maybe not. In a corner bedroom in 1440. I need your support. I do. I'm lying. What a political campaign.

It's wild.

Booze up, calling your wife. I was tired. I was not booze up. That's not slurring. That's weariness. I need your support. That's pleading and longing and desperate. I need your support. Okay.

How thrilled were you when you stumbled upon it? Oh, my God.

I'm like, Thank you. I just I'm tired of clipping it and texting it to all my family.

In Greg's defense, I mean, voicemail quality makes that sound a lot worse.

Thank you, Billy. He's right. It's not my fault that it was a bad tape, whatever. Recording.

If you want the full- Hear my mom's reaction. Here we go. That was funny. This is the promotion he's always wanted. Not this way, obviously. Greg Cody thinks I do a shitty job of promoting his podcast on our network. Not always. Today, our audience is going to make you soar into the sky searching out what was the leader of Mom's Maniac's reaction to her drunk and slurred called from the Commission and being caught on tape in what is clear and obvious collusion.

I need your support.

I literally have it cued up. Look, the Greg Cody show- We should all play it. Featuring Greg Cody. It's cued up on my phone.

We should all give them the clicks. We should all play it at the same We should all...

I've got the time stamp and everything.

What's the time stamp? Give it to me. No.

52: 42.

Let's all do it at once. It's laid in there. Let's have our other employees from the other room come in and all click on the podcast and all air this echoing into eternity so you can get all the clicks.

Hey, how about those hurricanes? I got to tell you, Mike will agree with me. For a 24-21 game, ostensibly a close game, that was an ass-kicking. I can't believe it looks close at the end because the Canes, and I'm a big Canes supporter, big Mario guy, and still am, but the Canes just crashed. They got their ass handed to them.

Can you be a Canes supporter if you're a journalist?

I need your support. When I say I'm a Canes supporter, what I mean is I think they're really good. I think they have a chance to win the national championship.

But they are good. They are good. But if you have four interceptions, they were lucky that none of Korsh and Six interceptions have turned into point.

He had two on one drive.

That was such an atrocious call. That was the worst interception that he threw, the one that didn't end up counting.

It was a bad route, though, I think.

You get crushed.

That's what he always says, apparently.

You could crush him and them today because they disappointed what we thought, what we were talking about, as if undefeated hurricane teams from your are still the standard today when teams are going to lose once and twice a season. But that is a good team that ended up losing exactly the way that a more talented team will lose, which is The coach took away your stuff on the other side. You're very good at pass rush. Here's Jeff Brown with two second drops and just throw it into the ground and it's fine. We'll figure it out. You're not going to beat us. We're going to let that quarterback beat us because what we're going to do is, go ahead, Mario, with Fletcher. Headbutt your way down the field. Try it here. We're not going to allow that very good, tough running back to get off in the middle. You're going to go to the outside? No. You're not going to go to the outside with speed? No. You're behind early in the game. And now what's going to happen, you're going to throw your way back into it and you got one real playmaker that you're just going to keep throwing the ball to, and that's how they're going to lose.

They lose at home. They shouldn't lose. They were a two-touch down favorite. Mario Cristobal now has five of those losses since 2022 as a two-touch down favorite. It's how he's going You're going to lose. You're going to run into a Georgia Tech and you're going to have the better players, and they're going to be more disciplined in some ways. They put you down 14 to nothing with a fake field goal, and now your quarterback needs to sling his way out of it, and that's how you win the Heisman.

Yeah, that 13 and a half point line was absurd from the get-go, and that's why it sank down to 10 points by kickoff. But look, they just got there. And Jeff Braum outcoached Cristobal, and I rarely say, Oh, he got No, that part was obvious.

You take away their pass rush and throw everything in two seconds, and you simply cannot run the ball. And your quarterback... Guys, this part was simple. Carson Beck was unbothered. He was not rushed a lot. That's four interceptions, and Louisville made three great plays on three of the interceptions. A lot of time that hits the ground. Three cornerbacks made three great plays, but he's throwing into triple coverage 60 yards downfield.

Yeah, he's deciding to shoe easy check downs or check downs that even get them first downs with plenty of yards ahead of these receivers to take these deep shots. I do think some of these interceptions are what you would call healthy interceptions because he trusts his arm to take a shot, but it was a thorough coaching, ass kicking. It wasn't just about getting rid of the ball quickly. They knew that if they had to go up against Miami's defensive line, remember Jeff Braum had a bye week as well, that even if they tried to do normal pass block, that would not work. They turned to these cut blocks that were so effective against Miami that bought Moss the time and the passing lanes to do what he did. It was just a really impressive thing that Jeff Braum did. It was what you were afraid of with Jeff Braum having that much time to prepare.

Don Levatard.

A A woman who was out swimming with her friends is believed to have been swallowed hole by a 13-foot shark without any of her friends noticing. That's the weirdest part about that story. You're swimming with friends, you're having a good time, and then all of a sudden, people are looking around and go, Where's Shelle? Nobody screamed.

Every friend group has a Shelle, though, that if they go missing because a shark ate them whole, you wouldn't notice.

Classic Shelle.

Exactly, right. Stugatz.

She went quietly, apparently. If I'm swallowed a hole by a shark, you're going to know it. This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugats. At the beginning of the game, when When Louisville came out with two quarterbacks on the field, started running the Wildcat. At one point, they had three quarterbacks on the field for a play.

No, it was a clinic, and they've got a pro at wide receiver. Belly's faster than some of their corners, and that's going to happen. It's a violent defense. It's a good football team. It really is. But if Carson Beck fell in love with, FSU, this is fun. Throw the ball 70 yards down the field. And what? Fsu lost to Stanford. To Stanford? What? And is incompetent at the end. More and When more football is becoming about precision. I can talk to you about how the Jags are not serious people, and the Rams showed you why. The Rams go in there, Stafford, career high in touch downs for the game. Devante Adams, career high in touch downs for the game. They're coming out in three tight-end sets with one wide receiver. This team does it if they have Cooper Cup or they have it with Puka or Devante Adams, because when you run structurally with great precision, decision, and the Jags have sacked you on third and seven, and you get two penalties on defense, pass interference and facemask, both of them side to side. You ruin every good play you have in that game because the Jags are not serious people.

Everyone's playing right now like a military game of who can be more precise. Where are Pukas' hands open? Just get the hands open. The rest of them doesn't have to be open. We're going to do this super precise. Jeff Braum is showing you how they do it at the collegiate level, and so is Brent Key at Amin Georgia Tech, where this is exactly how they'll lose to Georgia Tech in the ACC Championship game, where you've got the better players, you know you've got the better players. Oh, wait, two second drops, you've eliminated Ruben Bain. You're not eliminating him because he's great, but two second drops, nobody can do anything with that. And you're going to be able to run the ball. And this is the other part, the Cristo Ball, the way he wants to play, Cristo Ball. It's stubborn. It's Fletcher headbutting you up middle. There were no outside runs in that game. Miami's fast.

Yeah, Miami can turn the corner. I think the conservative nature of the runs, we covered this against Notre Dame and a little bit against FSU, is I understand wanting to run the ball. I don't understand why you're just married to the A-Gap. If I'm Jordan Lyle, I wonder, what am I doing with my time down here in Miami? Because they're not going to give me the opportunity to do what I do better than anybody else in that running back room, which is turn the corner, get to the second level. It was very frustrating. You knew that Jeff Braum, look, he's done this. He's We've done this at Louisville. I think Louisville hasn't lost a game in the last two seasons by more than a score. He always makes up for talent deficiencies. This is probably the worst Louisville team of a few years.

He's got four top five wins. He's going to be the next coaching guy.

He did it to Ohio State when he was at Purdue. He's a really good coach. But Miami, that's how you get beat. You stay married to the A-Gap, you're undisciplined, and you get all these procedural penalties that back you up, the Oak and Lolan one was just mystifying. It was a really bad effort. And yeah, I guess you're encouraged that you had an opportunity to win that game at the end when you put up an F plus performance.

Were you surprised they weren't more conservative in the end there when they were obviously in field goal range?

It's a conservative. Carson Beck spoke to it. It's for a pass play. They liked the play that they had. It's a conservative call. In that situation, they were in game-tying field goal range. They were. They make an incredible play to tip the ball at the line of scrimmage, and the catch is even better. But you gave them that opening. Carson Beck said Lofton ran the wrong route. And I will say from- It looked like it. It did. But from that comment to the four picks, Carson Beck, to rubbing his elbow the entire second half to make sure that the cameras caught it. I've been a big Carson Beck defender. I said that most people in the media last week made up their minds because he's ugly. And that's all that was happening. That is what you said. Yeah, it's a direct quote. Nobody's back, Carson back better. I said he had a better fall camp than Kam Ward did. That on Friday night was the Carson Beck that Georgia fans warned you about. From the recklessness to not being the greatest team guy to rubbing the elbow. I did not like that. He needs to bounce back.

But at least we've never seen the Canes lose games where it's close late, so you won't have to worry about that again.

They've won plenty of games that were close late, though.

You know they don't have control of their own destiny to go to the ACC Championship at this point? No.

No, there is a nightmare scenario in which they can run the table. Although I will say it's different than last year because they do have the non-conference wins. They do have the marquee wins.

Meaning a better chance of getting in that large bit.

If they don't make Charlotte, they'll make it to CFP. However, That opens the door for them to potentially host a college football playoff game if they do run the table and not have a stadium to play in.

You hear about this, Dan?

Have you seen the reporting on this? There is a La Liga, very controversial La Liga match that Barcelona is going to be playing in. Weren't they protesting?

Yeah, they were. The whole league did. All of La Liga.

Steven Ross has been trying to get this game over here for more than two years. They have finally scheduled it. However, they have scheduled it. It's going to be a 10: 15 AM local start, by the way. They have scheduled it on a day that if Miami is thrown into that first round of the CFP and is in the situation which they're deemed host worthy, they may not have a stadium to play in. And it has Miami looking at contingency plans that include potentially playing a CFP player playoff game in Orlando.

Well, why does this La Liga game have precedence over a potential Miami hurricanes, an active tenant in that building?

You would hope that the CFP tries to help you out, but the CFP is also married to their schedule and has things identified. You would hope that they meet you halfway there. But this has been tied up in litigation for two years for them to all of a sudden get the green light as hard as that's been because La Liga, the teams over in Europe, don't operate the way that the NFL does. In that, Yeah, no, no, no. Let's grow the game and play games that mean something somewhere else. Right.

I like what La Liga does. I hate the way the NFL does.

The fan bases would hate that. The customer base in Europe has so much power over capitalism.

They should hate it.

I love what they did to protest. All weekend in stadiums across Spain, the game began, and then every player from both teams just stood there not playing during a game for 15 or 20 seconds. It was quite a statement, and television didn't have the balls to show it, but that happened in La Liga. And by the way, the dolphins play a home game the next day, so that's going to be a crazy weekend.

Zas, to answer your question, the reason why it takes precedence is because Steven Ross is the owner of Hard Rock, so he's the one who's bringing this game here. The hurricanes are merely tenants. And when you are not the landlord, the landlord can tell you to kick rocks.

No, totally. But that just feels like, Man, you're not being a very good partner.

Well, it makes sense that they would play in Orlando, a town that's actually seen an undefeated college football team in the last, I don't know, two decades.

Jeff Braum deciding, Hey, 300 pound guys, you're going to fall on the ground right away and we're going to get four yards every time. Ruben Bain, Mesador. Mesador got hurt in that game. I don't know if he actually got hurt on one of these cut blocks, but they did not like that one bit.

Why did you turn it to Tim Robinson right there. They did not like that.

They hated having offensive linemen cut at their knees as soon as the ball was snapped. It was just mean. Jeff Braum is so frigging good.

It's a promising strategy.

He's so good. He's so smart. Promising.

The average throw was 2. 32 seconds. You eliminate the pass rush that way. Look, there aren't a lot of... I want to talk to you guys for a second about precision. The Jacksonville-Rams game. To go on the road and score 35 points because Matthew Stafford would be a lead changer right now if he changed teams because of what I'm talking about, a precision that, hey, Pukka, the rest of you doesn't have to get open. Just your hands. They've got to cover everything all over the field. And we're so precise with Devante Adams that Devante Adams has been good for a long time. That's as productive as he can be without without Cooper Cup. They could just recreate it because at that position, they've got what you're going to see from Baker Mayfield now, where when you have one of these guys and you're watching him play professional college games that rub the elbow in the second half when you start throwing the interceptions, people start crafting your story. We're making these kids professional before they're ready to be professional. So four interceptions is going to hurt when everyone was just saying a minute ago, Carson Beck, you can take that championship thing anywhere you go.

You could be social media famous. You could get all the things. We'll steal your car in Miami. But when you start throwing the four interceptions, the city will turn on you like you're a pro. We know this team is good. This team is good. Jeff Braum dared you to beat him. Dared you to beat him. Wasn't going to let his quarterback beat him. Dared you to beat him. Said, No running game. Nope. Go ahead, kid. And stand back there. Stand back there for a while. Not pressured until the end of the game. And you're going to throw four pips because you keep throwing it down the field because you don't know. What is it? You're going to have us now, Bray? Do you think that we think that C. J. Daniels and Tony aren't people who can get open on shallow routes? He threw four interceptions, but I will say, Louisville made three great plays on four of those interceptions. But I mean, does that not matter? There were no points off of that.

Yeah, but that's why they have turnover-worthy plays.

Miami was gifted a few things, two bogus ruffing the passer calls. The game was gifted to them at the end. That fumble is like... You almost did all of Bram's coaching, undid it with one fumble in a disaster scenario that gave the game right back to Miami.

But they couldn't undo Mario's coaching.

That was a great tackle by that player, putting his helmet on the ball. That's just not totally right.

I was told Mike crashed out on Twitter during the game.

There were six tweets, and one of them after another was just more and more depressed. Miami is shell-shocked. Bram is in his bag. Stadium PA is on drugs and not the good kind. This is bad. That's the first tweet of the six, Dan. Okay. To where he ultimately blamed him for playing the conga.

The biggest town of your life.

I saw you criticized the crowd?

The crowd was late arriving. That was a bad crowd. What? The student section is a disaster. For all the You didn't go to Miami crowd that's out there, the people that go to Miami support the program the least. It's a bolting. And the PA has been an experience all season long. What do you say? The game operations tried to do something new. First off, figure out a uniform level of sound. No one heard the team come out. You do this whole in the air tonight thing. Volume was so muted. That must be why they lost? You didn't set it. It's getting to the point where I think Mario Cristobal should say something to Game Ops because they did the fake field goal that everyone knew was coming except for Miami. That was a perfect chance to take because if you're short, you still get the first down. Pa is like, First down, Miami. After it was rolled, it was short of a- Can't do that, Dan.

You got to down. Can't do that.

And Miami players were celebrating as if they stopped them short of the goal line when they got the first down.

Wait a second, Mike, was this a new PA guy?

It's the same PA guy, although he's been bad. Sometimes he's been getting our players wrong. They tried something new when Carson Beck ran out. He's like, Now leading the team, Carson Beck. We're like, What is this? This sounds a whack. There was one time where we almost got an interception, and the PA was like, That was close one. It was just cheesy and corny. And I know DJ volume gets a lot of crap. Playing the conga before the biggest third down of the game.

Now, you said of your life.

Yeah. That's not DJ volume making that call. It's game Let me fire up this crowd with conga. We're not supposed to be this family-friendly atmosphere. You can tow a line between letting kids make sure they're safer and playing some music that gets people pumped up. I mean, we're doing Sweet Caroline at these games. We're playing Black-Eyed Pees. What the hell are we doing?

I do think it's fair to say that when you win five games in a row, nobody gives a shit about the PA or what's being said.

Not true. People are angry at the in-game presentation. They've been going at a DJ, perhaps some unfairly, to the point that the DJ is putting out like notepads. I'm sorry, it's my boss's. There's game-ups. I'm not playing all these songs. It's been a thing.

To be fair, nobody likes a PA who editorializes. Just tell us who caught, who didn't catch.

It's a gift. There's a skill to this. There's an energy in a crowd. I miss J. R. O.

Keach. Mike, I mean, God, if the PA keeps playing like that, I mean, you got to be worried. You got a home game against Stanford coming up. That's going to be a little bit nerve-wracking. They just pull off a big conference. Then you travel to SMU.

I don't like when I mean, then it's home against Syracuse and César.

What's with your little dickish voice? What's with your little dickish voice? That's a dickish voice.

Is his voice little?

Are you going to go to Blacksberg and win a game?

Nobody goes into Blacksberg and wins a game.

Not at Virginia Tech. I don't care where they're at.

Are we having a real conversation? At Pittsburgh at the end of the year, you got to be nervous.

You're not going to make that large.

Why don't you play a grown-up? Try a grown-up voice.

Dickish.

I need your support.

Now is a good time to remember where tequila's story truly began. In 1795, Cuervo invented tequila. Cuervo. What are you doing here? Cuervo.

Anytime someone says Cuervo, I show up.

Well, I do know that to be true, but even during an ad reads like... Cuervo. I think it could lay out, especially for one of our great partners.

Sweet, delicious Cuervo.

Since then, Cuervo has stayed true to its roots. The same family, the same land, the same passion. Cuervo. So enjoy the tequila that started it all. Cuervo. Cuervo. The tequila that invented tequila. Proximo. Cuervo. Com. Please drink responsibly. Cuervo.