Transcript of The Big Suey: 49 Nuggets

All right, Smirnoff, official vodka of the NFL, world's number one vodka. Chris Cody, you're with me here. Smirnoff. Wow. You're on the money with Smirnoff. I'm going to ask you, Chris, what's your favorite game day food? Smirnoff. That's your favorite game day drink. What's your favorite game day food? Smirnoff. All right, here's the deal. Game day is everything. The noise, the rituals, the passion, the dip, the wings, the dip again. Smirnoff. Smirnoff belongs in that mix because if you're tailgating or hosting or just sitting there checking your fantasy lineup every 30 seconds, you need Smirnoff. Otherwise, it's not a real game day. They've been doing it since 1864, which is, I don't even want to do the math. It's a long time. It's like when Greg Cody was born. They're award-winning. They make cocktails super easy, and they're all about bringing fans together. So yeah, we do game days. That's their thing. And if you're over 21, you should, too. Why, Chris? It's Marinoff. Grab a bottle smear enough, smear enough. At your local retailer and head to smear enough. Com to find recipes of delicious cocktails perfect for game day. Smear enough. Please drink responsibly.

Smear enough. Number 21, vodka distilled from grain, 40% alcohol by volume, the Smear enough Company. New York, New York, please do not share with anyone under legal drinking age. Smin Off. Listener, you're thinking about upgrading to the all new iPhone 17 Pro, designed to be the most powerful iPhone ever. But are you also thinking about the traffic on your way to the store or transferring all your data? Well, good news. When you order a new phone online with Boost Mobile, they'll send an expert to your home or work to deliver your brand new iPhone 17 Pro and get you all set up on Boost Mobile within minutes. No hassle. Visit boostmobile. Com to get started. Delivery available for select devices purchased at boostmobile. Com. Terms apply.

Welcome to the big sweet Presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebitard podcast. I'm sorry.

I'm not going to apologize for that.

In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now, here's the marching band to nowhere, Fatface and the Habitual Liar.

This episode of the Dan Levitard show is presented by DraftKings. Draftkings. Draftkings. The crown is yours.

Don't choke, man.

What's the counter up to now?

37? 29.

I ate a few during the break.

No, you didn't.

No, you didn't.

A few were eaten during the break. Not so sure.

Not by you. Everybody else did.

The dog had one.

Percy Addison did it. Don't help him. He calls his dog by his first and middle name.

Which, by the way... Her. Sorry. The dog feeding it breaded chicken nuggets. Ridiculous. You all already playing with fire. I wasn't going to bring this to air, but since When the dog came up, I'm going to bring it to air now. Ethan, while walking the dog yesterday, stepped in dog shit.

You sure it was dog?

It is downtown Miami. Then walked in here and tracked it everywhere. No. He did? Then he had to scrub it in the bathroom over there. I'm like, Dude, you can't. Then he came in wearing the same shoes today. I'm like, Come on, man. Come on, man. This is why we can't have animals in the studio.

You mean Ethan?

Yes. That's unbelievable. Unbelievable, man. This place is so gross, man. It's cute. No, it's not, man.

No, Duda is not cute.

Duda is never cute, ever. Never. Unbelievable, unremarkable shit. Speaking of dogs, Tom braided his dog. You guys know that?

Yo, you saw this story?

I did.

I don't like this. This is some Pet Cemetery shit vibes to me. I don't like it.

It doesn't make sense.

I don't like this.

What about the dog would make it remember you if it's a clone?

Definitely doesn't.

You don't clone the brain. So you're just getting the same type of dog. You know what you could do? Just go buy the same type of dog.

Cloning a dog.

That's some rich people shit.

But it's the worst rich people shit. Rich people shit should be things that we can't do that we wish you could do. Like, for instance, having a robot maid or butler. That's awesome.

Having health care.

Look at this. That's some other rich people shit. Having health care.

Look at this. I love my animals. The dog passed away two years ago. I love my animals. And he cloned this dog just recently. They mean the world to me and my family. So far, he's the same as everybody else. Okay, I continue. A few years ago, I worked with Colossal Biosciences and leveraged their non-invasive cloning technology. What does that mean? Through a simple blood draw of our family's elderly dog before she passed.

Non-invasive is the funniest word. You know what's that, Colossal?

I told you, man, this is Pet Cemetery to me. I don't like it.

You guys are thinking too small. This is a beta test for Tom braided to clone himself.

Clone himself?

Yeah.

Wait a second.

What's the company that he was working with?

It's Colossal, the same people that brought back the dire wolves that are trying to bring back the wooly mammoth, too.

He is definitely cloning himself.

He's going to end up like Jeff Goldbloom in the fly.

Okay, here's my question, though.

Top five Jewish actor. Only boring on a broadcast.

If you clone yourself, again, will it also clone your brain and your memories? In the movies, yes. In real life, right?

We can't ask the dogs.

I'm imagining him just being disappointed constantly. Like, Oh, the other one used to do this, but I paid so much to have the same dog. It's like, you don't jump off the bed the same exact way.

Can we look at the Yelp reviews? Has he provided some feedback?

He might hate it. He'd be like, What a waste of money this was. It's a different dog.

Well, do they have a Yelp? Two stars. I want to know. I I don't know anybody. Didn't Barbra Streisand clone her dog?

Yeah, she did, I think. This is years ago, though. But here's my question. Wait, hold on. How many of you guys watched the rehearsal season 2? Wasn't that a storyline? The Clone cat. The Clone, is it a dog? I thought it was a dog.

I thought it was a Maybe it was a cat.

Maybe it was a cat. But the whole thing was, Nathan Fielder recreated this couple's original apartment and everything, trying to see that if you could teach the cloned animal through the same learned experiences that the original animal had, would it be the same? And the answer was no. No, it would not.

And so, again, evenIt was a dog.

It was a dog. There you go. Yeah, Babs did. But the idea that cloning yourself, to assume that that clone of yourself would be just as good at everything that you're good at. I think that's a leap.

Can you claim to love animals if instead of adopting one, you just clone one?

Yeah, I just Xerox them. There's nothing I love more than sheets of paper and animals. Just stick them in the machine. Come back out.

Here we go. I don't like it, man. If I got to somebody's house and be like, When you get this dog? Yeah, I clone my old one. I leave. I go home.

Having said that, if you could successfully clone any athlete, and they would have all their memories and their abilities and all that, who would you clone?

Well, I'd want someone for one of my favorite teams to be back on my favorite team, right?

Yeah, sure.

Probably Shaq. Shaq?

Yeah. Wow. Yeah.

You know how good the heat would be if they had Shaq.

Prime Shaq right now.

That would be so good.

Mike, I feel like you've got a plethora of names that are all-I don't know why you do that, Zaz.

That guy's an underachiever.

And that's why you want him. He's so good that winning four titles was underachieving. Thank you. Thank you for bringing That game's passed by.

How does it come out? Is the other eye cross-eye?

Oh, yeah. They mix it up. That's how you tell them apart. Wait a second. Look at me.

If you're watching the main broadcast right now, you saw Chris Cody mouth playing him like a fiddle. I'm on to some suspicious behavior over here.

We have to have a... What do you call it? A monitor?

I can't help it if some of these are little.

He's breaking them in half and full on the teeth.

That's ridiculous. Well, there's also a lot here, and I want to have enough to get this bit.

No, we'll order more.

All right.

He was caught on camera saying, I'm playing him like a fiddle. Cheater. By the way- He saw Batman Returns, and he's like, That's a great idea. Let me replicate that evil plan.

This means he's at 34 One hour and a half.

Also, Chris, you're on camera all the time, regardless of whether it's on the monitor or not. You know that. We have four people in that room back there who are watching you.

Like I said, playing him like a fiddle.

Okay. He wants to do a little victory lap on it.

I will I'm going to work in a complete fake bite at some point.

They're counting haves.

Hey, what?

There he goes.

There will be one point. There will be one point where I go in here, and nothing goes in, and then he'll go up one.

What would you like to be at by the end of Big Soo.

How many have I eaten in this big soup?

Thirty-four and a half.

What was I at before? I feel like I've slowed down a lot.

What would you like to be at?

I'm hoping to get to 45.

Forty-five? That's a good number.

You wouldn't even be halfway done.

So it's 47 and 48.

What did we land on? We don't have an answer yet for how many I need to do.

We land on more.

More than what you have right now. Just keep eating. Keep eating. There you go. We didn't need that. There we are. Roy. Yeah. Athlete you could clone. Who would you clone?

In my heart, Jackie Robinson.

Really? Yeah. I wouldn't want to watch Jackie Robinson get rocked by these pictures now, man. Keep his legacy where it is.

Seems mean, man.

I don't know, man.

If he gets on base, he's going That would be great.

But I don't think he's going to go through the same thing he went through back then, no.

Would have to be an athlete. I would clone Barry Sanders.

Oh, Barry Sanders in today's game.

There's a whole generation in this studio that has seen YouTube highlights or something like that. I'm telling you, every time, even on losses, this guy was dazzling. He did stuff that I have never, ever seen again in the backfield. With his balance and his footwork, he was just amazing to watch.

Here's the thing with the cloning, right? So if you clone Barry Sanders, does he then quit, too?

It's the same memories and experiences, but here's the deal. If you put him on the Detroit Lions, this team's good. He never had a team That's good.

Is he even R-B-1?

He's Jameer Gibbs.

He's definitely R-B-1.

I feel like in a few years, I'll be like, Man, I feel like a strong urge to quit. I don't know why.

He's just already programmed in him.

That's the best running back room ever.

Dude, I remember watching one of those NFL films things, and it was a team that was getting ready to play Barry Sanders. And what they had their scout team do was against the defense, they'd had two guys with two footballs running, and the defense had to stop both. That was the best simulation of trying to stop Barry Sanders. That's amazing.

Look, they knew they were playing Detroit. There was one thing to stop. They had Scott Mitchell as a quarterback, and it didn't matter.

There's a show on Netflix called Living with Yourself, starring Paul Rudd, another top five Jewish actor who millennial schicksals have seen and developed crushes on Jewish guys. But what's really interesting in this, Tom braided is in this show. He has a cameo, and the cameo revolves around a joke where both people are going to a spa, and at that spa, you clone yourself. Tom braided says that he has cloned himself six times in the show.

Wait a second.

He's just soft launching the idea that there have been Tom braided clones. Now, in real life, he's actually cloning a dog. This man is on a mission to normalize being cloned.

Wait a second. Wait a gosh, darn second. Okay. Maybe it's not him soft launching he's going to clone himself. Maybe the truth is right in front of our very arms. Maybe Tom braided already cloned himself. That's how he went on them damn Super Bowl. We're like, How does he not age? Because he just kept Xeroxing himself over and over again.

After the ACL, he just took that time off to clone himself, come back even stronger.

The Prestige.

What a movie.

Oh my gosh, file.

What a movie.

So basically, he's Michael Keaton in multiplicity. Multiplicity.

Should touch my pappy, Steve.

Chris, where we're at?

I usually get an eight count. We're 39.

39? There's no way he had five in the-No, I was just cooking, dude, the whole time.

And I was showing, I was dropping him in.

Like a pelican?

Like a pelican. Give me six more.

You know what? I want to talk about this. I do want to talk about this, right? Yesterday, in New York City, the elected Zora Mamdani, which-Don't even get me started. To many, many, many, many people in this country is the most terrifying thing ever. He's of Indian descent, born in Uganda, and he's Muslim, and he's a socialist, and he's 34 years old. Working for the police party. And now he's the mayor of New York City. I got to say, I'm shocked, but I'm not shocked by the number of people that I follow or people that I know who are clutching their pearls over this guy getting elected. By the way, people have no to the city of New York, never lived there, not from there. I'm from New York City. In American politics, it doesn't matter what you are, whether you're a Republican, a Democrat, whatever. But there seems to be a permanent furor about if this person isn't the thing that we've seen all along. The idea of this guy being the mayor of New York, staggering people, for what reason other than he's just different? It's fascinating to me. The things that are said like, There's going to be Sharia law.

They said that about Barack Obama, too, by the way. He's going to bring on Sharia law. Do you really believe that? Do you really believe- As he's in the DJ booth at a gay bar. Right. I'm just like, Do you really believe? Let's just assume that's his evil master plan. All the levels of American government, all the people working, do you think everyone's like, Well, he's the mayor. Ipso facto, and now New York's got it. The rest of the... It's not COVID. Where it just spreads, right? But the other part of this that is not lost upon me in terms of how ironic it is, is like, Oh, you're worried he's going to put Sharia law in because he's a Muslim.

So you're worried he's going to use his religion to inform policy.

You're worried that he can't separate church and state, which is one of the bedrock foundations of this country.

I'm not sure where you're going with all of this.

It's amazing to me. It's the very definition of pot and kettle. Oh, it's going to be everywhere. I'm like, What are you talking about? What are you talking about? And this hypocrisy and this fear mongering, because he is not Josh Johnson or whatever, very safe name with a safe background. His socialist ideas seem to be the least of their fears. That's the funny part. That's the funny. That's the least of their fears. Their biggest fear is, he's a Muslim from Uganda, but he doesn't look like people from Uganda, except if you knew about Uganda and its history, you would understand. Yeah, of course.

The fear over all of those things over socialism is a fascinating one, right? Because That's been the thing that was the key word that this Republican administration, Chris just said, Wow, I didn't eat it. It's still in my hand. He just put it next to his cheek. After saying, I'm playing them like a fiddle. Stop talking. This is unbelievable. First of all, the self-narration is probably not a good idea if he doesn't want to be caught.

It's a good deflection, Chris. Keep it going.

He's making a pot and kettle. How are we doing, Chris? The premise here is that they've been using Socialists as this dog whistle for all of these people the entire time. And yet somehow, that's not to fear. When Mamdani himself has done a really good job of just sticking to the messaging of what he actually wants to accomplish. Hey, transportation, housing, all these things that are going to help New New Yorkers. That's his goal is to locally help New Yorkers. It's why he stayed out of other conversations of which he has opinions on. He stayed out of those conversations because it's New York. It's New York.

I'm a mayor. It has nothing to do with leaving the mayor of New York. I'm not the President of the country. That's right.

You guys think Iowa jumps into the teams if they beat Oregon.

I'm really happy for all of my friends and family who live in New York because it feels like the tide is turning.

Because they're moving?

They're coming down here.

I'm just excited because I'm going to be able to sell my house at a higher price with all the people fleeing New York.

No one's fleeing New York. I know.

Of course, no one's fleeing New York. It's all fear mongering.

This is actually huge news for the Democratic Party. If they can effectively place a candidate that removes New Yorkers from your city.

That'd be good news for us to hear.

That is a platform, pal.

That's the other funny thing, and that's why I started with it's not party-driven. Because Zora Ron wasn't even operating with the support of his own party. That's right. They were out here like, Oh, I don't know about the... You got Hakeem Jeffrey. They're all trying to distance themselves. I like that guy. Because they all subscribe to the same weird dogma.

I'm not playing anymore.

What's the vibe?

It's up to 44. They're back. They were messing with me. It was going down. You're messing with them.

I was.

I'm a showman. You pushed the buttons. Have more.

Braun showman. Anyways, that's my soapbox. She know. That was my Dan Leventhal Minute of the day.

Just the overall result for Democrats yesterday is just...

Overall, tremendous. But I think Zoran is a little different from all the other races. It's true. Because they didn't want him.

Find a sports tie.

I don't have to find shit. I had to teach you over here. I had to set it, yeah.

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Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3. 2 carbs per 12 ounces. Don Lebatard. In terms of heat fans, you're the most irrational of us right now. What's the pivot?

Oh, Irrational. Stugatz. Oh, my God.

Did you not hear your voice there?

It's going to talk to my boy, dude.

If I were making a cartoon thing that was meant to symbolize Irrational, that's the voice I would give it.

The entire premise- DC This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugats.

You know what? To hell with that. To hell with sports. I'm going to go straight to this Disney YouTube stuff. I know we talked about it a little bit yesterday.

Everyone's pissed about this. We didn't spend enough time on this.

Mike, I was with Fuentes yesterday, and I told him, You know whose fault this is? Whose fault all of this is? The mayor of New York. Nope. We've moved on. All the nerds who were like, Why do I have to pay for sports? I just want the channels that I watch. Once upon a time, I want to watch TV. Hey, I'm your cable company. How about all these channels for this price? Sounds good. And that's it. Are there channels I don't watch there? Sure. I don't watch TLC. C-span. I don't watch C-Span. But I understand collectively, we all benefit from having these channels for a set price.

I've been ashamed of my behavior over the last football season. You know that final scene in cable guy, where the cable goes out and the dude just looks over at a book and starts reading it and enjoying it? When my YouTube TV and Disney dispute started affecting my life, I just turned on my cable box and I was like, I get all the channels. What am I doing?

It was insane. We had it. We had the strategy. We had the product that made everybody happy. Then some people said, I don't know why I'm paying for this. I just want to pick the channels that I want. Then Disney Plus and Netflix, we got to just give you these movie channels and these channels right here. That's No more sports for me. But what's happening is that everyone realized, Oh, I can charge all these people for the two or three channels that they may watch, thus fracturing this whole thing. And so now you're like, Oh, my God. In order to watch everything I used to watch, I've got to pay so much more money. Yeah, because you didn't want the buffet. You said, I want a la carte. Well, guess what? The a la carte is in front of the horse now.

Who's the impression you're doing?

A nerd. He said it was a nerd. I'm a nerd.

Why are Why am I paying for these sports channels? Okay, all right. Just checking. I found that there are people who got to order an app and pay a subscription just to watch the local sports teams because they're not... How is that possible? I'm doing great. I'll tell you how it's possible because you guys listen to all of these nerds tell you to cut your cord.

How do they sound?

They sound like this, Roy. Roy, I'm going to cut my cord. I don't need any of these channels.

You're going to cut your cord?

I'm going to cut my cord.

You know about cutting that cord?

Buddy, my cord has never been cut.

Never been cut. Never been cut. I'm still corded up right now. Wow. Holla at me. Nba TV, 216. Espn 206. Espn 209. Direct TV. I know exactly what my channel's at.

I can find it in the dark.

Every time. Oh, two games on? Flash back, flash back, flash back. Oh, picture in picture, got that, too, on my DTV.

That is the worst part of the app is not having the flashback button. Oh, wait, hold on.

Let me log out of this app. I'm logging into the other app. Oh, Oh, it's a... Oh, it's a... Oh, nerds, nerds. You had Paradise and you said not good enough. And now you want to cry.

As a consumer base, we could just say F both of you when it comes to this Google Disney thing. But I am I'll sign in with Google on this one a little bit. It's very clear what Disney is doing as they've invested so much money. They've increased the price point. They've made acquisitions like WWE that aren't exactly helping matters. They're leveraging their sports partnerships by having head coaches embarrass themselves, look into cameras and say, YouTube TV is wrong. The big corporate overlord, Google is bad. Side with us over here at Disney. This is all ugly, stupid. We're all paying the price. As the economy gets worse, everything gets more expensive. They're not helping things.

F both of you all. Can I add a correction real quick? Overall, points still counts. But yesterday, you and I had a conversation about Wwe's attendance being down on Monday on Monday Night Raw. That building was small. That building only held 6,000 people.

Yeah, but they're booking smaller buildings. That's not what Wwe does.

Well, they're in Boston on Monday night.

When the start of the TKO era. Well, it's Boston and it's Sean Seana returning to his home. Okay. Wait, where were they?

I was misinformed. I was misinformed because I thought the upper deck was talked about. Where were they? There was no upper deck. They were in Rio Rancho, New Mexico.

Which is rare for them to be playing smaller markets. That's to tell. When they were humming, they were playing arenas all the time, and they were not doing the small venue.

I had a listener who pointed out yesterday. I didn't even know that. That was my bust.

They called you a sucker, too?

Yo, I already told you about that, all right? You said you were a sucker yesterday.

You had a very bad couple of days, I must admit. What else? Well, first of all, you embarrassed yourself with Braun Strong.

No, I did not. And you know what? I resent you making me look stupid in front of a WWW restaurant. I love WWW.

You did that on your own.

Ron, what's it like when you're famous and people come up to you?

That's your impression of me? I would work on that. A sack.

That's how I feel right now.

How are you? You seem to be paused here at 46.

Taking a little break, a little recess. 46 is a good start, man.

46 is a really good start, Tony.

I'm telling you, every grill when I've gone to is just...

Grill is not the way.

Grill is not the answer. I don't know why you guys chose grilled.

How about you just put a bunch in your mouth?

It's a palate cleanser.

Well, honestly, what would happen? You're at 46 right now. What if you just threw four? In your mouth right now?

Put four in your mouth and let the national sources do their thing.

Don't do four. Don't do four because then you're going to be chewing for 30 minutes. Do two. Do two and then take a squig of water and then two more. Two holes.

Like a big thing of I'm trying to make these things work, guys. You keep ripping them off.

Don't rip them. That's not going to count.

You become one. It's got a point there. When one becomes two. It's got a point.

All right, it's kicking in. It's raging right now. We're at like 15 of the 20. That's two-a-half.

That's two-a-half.

That's one. That's one, dog. You guys are doing 47. That's 47.

48 in, you guys are doing this game with me right now? You guys are playing this game with me. Not if you did half of what I'm at, except for maybe Tony.

Chris, it's not competition.

Chris, I'm going to tell you right now. This is gross. This is the conversation. This is the conversation I had, Chris, during the break. The conversation was, Chris isn't going to hit 99, so what's the punishment for not landing the punishment?

And no, Jeremy, who runs this ship now, when it comes to these punks- Jeremy doesn't run shit.

It's Udonis Haslem that runs it. No. No.

No. No. I'll lose another punishment. Another punishment for you. I promise you, you don't want to go down that path.

I do have good news for you, though, Chris. You eat two more halfway there.

He's halfway there.

I ate just ate two. Put another one up there. You ate half. I'm at 48. You guys are full of it. Those are two gigantic ones. I'm not saying I haven't eaten a half at some point. Those two... Thank you. All right, 48. Thank you for respecting me. Thank you for respecting me, video team. Bread.

How's your dad doing?

I checked in with him. Do you have updates? Yeah, I had a brief text exchange with him.

Did you talk about French toast?

I said, Good luck, don't die. And he said, We'll give it my best.

So he's still under now?

We're all rooting for you to How long is the procedure, Chris?

I was told it was from around 9: 00 to noon. He should be texting me before. Three hours? No, no, no. He's a little waking up. Got you. He should be texting me and leaving there around noon. Got you.

He's coming, too?

But if you want to see my text exchange this morning with my dad. I love you, dad. Text me after. Will do. If it comes up on the show, say that people can wish me well by listening to my podcast. I want that.

Famous last words?

God forbid, that that's my last exchange with my dad.

What's the photo of him that you have?

Where's the love you two?

The photo of him is him in my car passed out.

That's the Bush night.

That's the night he fell in the Bush.

Dark hair on him. Yeah, man. A lot more pepper than salt right there.

Just out.

That's awful, man.

That's why he fell in the Bush because he was asleep five seconds before.

But also, hilarious. If that were his last words.

Is that when the U was back, actually? It was. That was the Marty Smith night.

Yeah, we went to the Grove.

Oh, is that where it happened?

He was back briefly. Brief moment of time. You were there that night. We haven't been irrelevant for two decades. It was a little outlier.

Every eight years or so?

Shut up.

He's holding you accountable.

All right, another one down the hatch here.

Where are we at? 48? No, wait, hold on.

That was a half. Tony needs to shut his mouth. Dude, look at these. I can't make them bigger. They are what they are.

No, you can make them smaller, though. That's the idea.

I can't physically make them bigger.

That's 49.

You know what I can do?

That's 49. Respect me. That one was 49. Respect me.

I could take the grilled ones, put them in the air fryer a little bit. They're nice and hot on the way back out. I think that's the problem.

We can put them in the air fryer. I'm not going to get them in the air fryer. You're on the soggy thing.

No excuses anymore.

No excuses. Let's get done. Eat these.

I'm going to take these. No, throw them all in the air fryer.

No. Oh, wow.

This is smart. This is a good move. Separate them, though. This is a well-made move. You did that.

It's okay.

20.

Shake them up. Separate them. 20.

You're pretty high, huh?

He's pretty high. There he is. This is irresponsible, really. I don't know. But it's responsible.

You don't know to work high? The girls are good.

I don't know what he's talking about. I don't know.

I can't.

He didn't show up to work high. He got high at work. It's a different... Top five occupations to get high.

Yeah, There's podcasters up there.

Still slide guitar.

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I think I would have been on his side.

I would have looked at you like, What did you say? I'm telling you, me and my friend, the rest of the way home, all we kept saying was, I ain't cheating.

Stugatz. I I think he got your ass. I think he got your ass.

I got his ass.

Chris won this one for sure. Not pathetic. It was pathetic, Jeremy.

It was great.

This is the Don Levatard show with the Stugatz.

Nfl Trademan.

Oh, that was some big ones. We got some fireworks. I don't know if Quitten Williams gets tariffed because he has to move to Texas now as a New Yorker. But Soss Gardner, that was pretty shocking. And look, Diana Marucini said, I don't expect Jerry Jones to do anything. I'm like, Diana, they just lost a money in football. He can't help himself. He got to do something. And he did do something. I thought these were impactful moves. And quite seriously, I love what Indianapolis did. Even though Soss Gardner really hasn't been captured- To first, I didn't like that. I didn't like that part, but he can help them, no doubt.

Sure. They're not going to be top picks.

I mean, you can pass all over them. I know that they've been dominant in these games, and they've been playing a lot of offenses that have been having to chase the games, but their pass coverage numbers are not good. Even in an isolated beginning of the game scenario, you can throw all over this team. So they address a big need on the defensive end of the ball. I thought Indianapolis got a lot better.

It's like they're going for it, obviously, because they have the team that looks to be one of the best teams in the NFL. But like, Soss Gardner hasn't been that good. We remember his rookie year where he was great, and then it's been on a slow decline ever since.

But he's likely a massive upgrade on what they have right now. For sure. That's all that matters.

But you don't think there was a better corner that you could have gone out and gotten for two first-round hits?

But wouldn't you assume that they tried that? Sure.

Can we go? The two first times. Is it safe to say that the Jets were a big winner because they got a lot.

They will mess up these.

They'll mess it up.

I saw so many Jets fans trying to take a victory lap. It's like, You guys have done this before. You screw up the picks.

I'll tell you, though, I thought the Dolphins were a huge loser yesterday, and not just because It seemed to be they had guys, Bradley Chubb, Minka Fitzpatrick. It seemed that they had guys who may have maybe a market out there and that they didn't move. But overall, we're back in this same spot, man. It's not just the Dolphins rebuilding, but you look at the division where bills are awesome, not going anywhere. Patriots are clearly on the rise. And now the Jets, yeah, Jets are terrible, but they have five first-round picks in the next two years. And look at you. You're stuck holding your you know what. They're so in the gutter, the dolphins.

What are they holding?

You know what they're holding, man. Cards? Google that shit.

Okay. We have big breaking news. Do we? Yeah, and it affects everybody. It's a global game, folks. Fifa has made an announcement.

Okay.

Fifa will present its inaugural FIFA Peace Prize. Football unites the World Award during the World Cup final draw on December fifth in Washington, DC. Not Trump. Not No, no, no.

I wonder who- I wonder who's going to win it.

No, no. I wonder who-I wonder who's going to win it. That's actually... I applaud that. He couldn't win the Nobel Peace Prize, so he just had Infantino make one. That's incredible.

That is really- Johnny.

You know what? You got me.

Johnny Soccer. Johnny the Infant.

Johnny Soccer.

You did it again. Johnny Infantino.

Really quick, to get back to the original football that we were talking about, Zaz. The original football.

The original football.

The original football we were talking about. Trade dead. Say on message. Thank you. Revising Seeing the Micah Parsons trade, when you look at what they got-Not bad. I'm very intrigued. Not bad. So packers got Micah Parsons. Cowboys got a first-round pick, Kenny Clark and Quinan Williams. That's a decent haul for a guy who's-Also, the linebacker from Cincinnati. Right, Wilson.

Yeah.

Cincinnati. You need better defensive players, and you're trading away your better defensive players to a team that has...

Micah, you would have argued was top three in the league in terms of value. So that is a great package, but there's not a lot of guys who would get in the entire league, in terms of value, age, and how good they are.

No, 100%.

But I get what you're saying.

It's better than, Hey, I got three first-round picks, but I don't know if those guys are going to materialize into good players. I got a stud in Quinn and Williams. I got a really good defensive tackle on Kenny Clark, and I still have a first-round pick. It's like, I'm getting established players rather than the hope and dream of a first-round pick that can end up being something or he can fall flat in his face.

Quick update. We sent Fuentes to go air-frei the nuggets. He's eating them. What are we doing?

What is going on here? What are we doing? I think that counts. I think that counts. Oh, it doesn't. I'm at 50.

You know what? Bring some down.

Two forms of ID. This is ridiculous. Fuentes, what are you doing?

Why is this entire office riddled with fraud?

It's just the Fuente brothers.

No, it's Chris. It's everybody.

I've eaten 50 nuggets in two hours.

How am I being judged right now?

I'm nailing this.

Yeah, he is. You got to give Chris credit where it's due. Do we? That's where it's due.

51, I'm two away from doing this thing.

Sauce Gardner has not allowed more than two receptions to a single receiver in a game this season. He's forced a tight window on 52% of his targets as the highest rate of any player targeted at least 20 times in coverage. So he's still a lockdown corner.

He's been better this year. But if you look at the numbers from the past couple of years, he's been very average.

A young guy who's coming back to the form that you saw him as a rookie, right? I mean, he was an impact player from the moment he entered the league, and now He seems to be playing the way that you would desperately, desperately need if you're that colds defense. And look, giving up two first-round picks in the NFL is a lot. It can change a lot of things about your franchise. But if you feel that confident about your team, that confident about your offense- That's an all-in move. Well, for that matter, it's the type of move that maybe the Dolphins should have made that first year with Tua, where they were lighting the world on fire with Mike McDaniel, where, hey, the offense isn't going to be stopped this year. We don't know if, schematically, people are going to catch up next year. But this year, we know we have an elite offense. Let's try to just cash in and see if we can make a run at it. I admire what they did.

They did do that, the Dolphins.

The following off-season.

Yeah, they traded for Bradley Chubb.

They traded for Bradley Chubb. And that's the type of thing that you do, right?

And then the next day, they trade for Jalen Ramsey.

Right. And that's my point, is going all in around something that you think is going to work is a good idea. Yeah, cold fan should be happy. And look, it didn't work out for the Dolphins, obviously. But when you have that type of offense, Going all in and making that choice is a good thing. Yeah.

F them picks at the end of the day. If you have a really good team and you think that Daniel Jones is going to be the quarterback of the future for this team, they were always a piece away, and now they've got that piece. They're playing well. Obviously, this past game, notwithstanding. But it's like you try to put the players in position to win a championship. It looks like what the Eagles do every single season. It's like, who's somebody that we can just pick up for nothing? Oh, Jair Alexander is out there? Perfect. Let's get him. Jalen Phillips is out there. He It's going to suck to Miami, but it's going to be really good here?

Okay, let's get him. And hand up in a moment of honesty. I did forget that they traded for Bradley Trub at that deadline. I thought it was all in the offseason. Bradley Trub. Yeah, Bradley Trub. That's where Greg Cody fell in the trubs. Similar to revising that trade as opposed to revisiting or despite dispute. The window is the window.

You can't sit around thinking, Oh, the window is going to be open forever. I can't trade these pics. The window is open for the Colts. They didn't know it at the beginning of the year. They know it now. They have a chance to win the Super Bowl now. You can't sit around and worry about a 2027 first rounder when you have the opportunity right now.

Yeah, who cares? Who cares? If they wind up winning, even if they don't win the Super Bowl, the Colts, gets to the ASE Championship game. In two years from now, when they don't have that late first round pick, you think anybody's going to be saying, Wow, wish they really had that pick. No. Go out there and win games right now. You had to give up for a couple of first round picks. Who cares?

I got a little break here. I'm feeling a nice second for the second half here. Yeah, there he is.

He's back The kid is back.

Back. Yeah. They're coming again, Elizabeth. Oh, Lord.

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