Transcript of Local Hour: The Upset Bird & The 'Very Good' Parrot New

Start of the day! It's time for me to go— it is yes start of the day! Start of the day! Start of the day! It is yeah start of the day! Start of the day! Start of the day! It is here star of the day! Star of the days that I'll be there! It is yes part of today!

Zaz, I need your help with something. I don't totally trust 100% Jeremy's judgment, he has been bothering me about this all week long... About 4 days. I've got a Marlins stat of the day. I got a Marlins stat of the day, and I haven't gone to it because, um, I don't 100% trust that it's going to be a 10, that it's gonna— that it's not gonna be like a 6 or a 5, that it's gonna be a 10. Uh, is that misplaced? Am I doing that?

No, no. I mean, my, my, my first reaction is, I mean, what, what a week. If we're on Thursday and Jeremy's been hounding you all week—

so glad to be back. Uh, what do you have, Jeremy? Here's your big chance, and we'll judge, uh, afterward what the stat of the day was, how good it was. How about this?

I've got two Marlins stats of the day now.

Well, you've started poorly because it's one stat of the day.

You know what they say.

Nope.

When you have two.

The Marlins have three of the top seven hitters in baseball in batting average. Also, they're the only team in the history of baseball to never lose 12 straight games.

That look from Zaslo was shock. And so I would say that you deem that, uh, worthy of status today. Uh, the second one more than the first though, right?

The first I did not care about.

Well, the first one was 3 of the top 4 2 days ago, but then I wasn't here and I didn't get to it on the first day.

So the second one though, that's— you got something there.

Thank you.

I like the first one.

I like how the Marlins play.

The Marlins are kind of like an old school team. They need a better baserunning coach to be like a full, like, old school team because that was disastrous yesterday. And apparently this is a thing with the Marlins, but station-to-station baseball, I like it.

Have you watched Chandler Simpson at all with the Tampa Bay Rays? Like everyone else in the sport is going power, lift, and exit velocity, and all he does is hit the ball on the ground. His career His career—

still a race guy.

He's got one minor league home run. It was an inside-the-park home run and one spring training home run, and that's it. 4-year career. He can't— all he does is hit the ball on the ground and run crazy fast, and it's going to be a double if you don't— if you let him have first.

He's Walt Weiss?

No, it's— no, he's an incredibly fast Walt Weiss. He's like Vince Coleman, but Vince Coleman hit home runs. He's actually— he's faster Dee Gordon. But Dee Gordon hit home runs. Mm, nah. No, he hit— Dee Gordon in his professional career has home runs, plural. Chandler Simpson does not. He does not have a major league home run. He's got a spring training home run, and he's got a minor league inside-the-park home run. I can never get you guys interested in the Rays.

This is the Dan Levatorre Show with the Stugatz Podcast.

He's the only expert NFL draft guest we've had on in years. We got a draft party tonight. Dr. Fred Johnson will be our draft analyst. We don't usually cover the draft. We're going to cover it this year. Please get me a photo of Dave Dameshek and, uh, his—

oh, Dan, oh my God—

deformity.

Oh my God.

Uh, Dave Dameshek, uh, somebody explain to me, because Lucy and Dameshek are in Pittsburgh, because we're really going to cover the The draft. We're going to do this tonight. We're going to do a live stream. Uh, I don't like the draft. That should be interesting. But Lucy and Damashek love the draft. And this photo that we have on your screen, uh, apologies to the audio audience, his right arm in a— he's, he's in the Pittsburgh, uh, office. He's in, he's in the headquarters of Pittsburgh right now. That is the— if, if you're not in the Steelers offices, uh, that is the headquarters of Pittsburgh. Looks very much like a coach's office. That left arm goes down to his knee. Nobody understands why it is that this deformity is happening. He could not look more uncomfortable.

Why is his arm so heavy?

It's weird, right?

It's weird.

It's a prosthetic.

I think this is just him not wanting to go arm around Coach Pat, and he's just like, that might be awkward. He thought it would be awkward to go arm around the coach, so he's like, I'll just let this thing dangle.

Are you sure he doesn't want to put his right arm either around— like, he seems to be hiding his left arm. No, but his— but he's hiding his right arm like it looks like he has only one arm. It looks like he's the guy who would make an argument on behalf of the one-legged punter.

No, this is a classic. I'm a little nervous about the midsection and the way it's going to stick out if I put both arms behind people and that shirt bunches up. This is— I've been here before. This is just insecurity.

This is—

I don't want to put that on— button-down shirt. That's exactly right. Could happen.

We will get answers tonight.

I think it could be just trying to feel young. He's doing content this weekend with a lot of young people, with Lucy, with Rose. Like, this is like, I gotta feel young here.

Yeah, it's a classic, uh, Ricky Bobby situation where he didn't know what exactly to do with these guys.

They're in Pittsburgh. Metal Ark is covering the draft tonight. You should be a part of our live stream tonight because we intend to have a lot of fun around all of the ridiculousness. Uh, Mike Ryan is now a human being who regularly attends Marlon's matinees. Uh, They're undefeated when he goes. He tried yesterday, uh, says, uh, that, that, uh, I'm not going to call it a sandwich, it's a quesadilla, sort of burrito-ish, uh, El Machete. Uh, it is how much? How much does that cost, Mike?

Only $26. Oh my God, it's not—

it's to feed a family, honestly, with that thing.

For $26, this is actually in the bargain bin in terms of baseball food because you could legit feed a family with this.

And so what is it, a quesadilla?

It's a quesadilla kind of taco thing. Yeah, yeah, but with ropa vieja.

What? Oh, Trista doesn't know what ropa vieja is.

Yeah, what was it?

It's like shredded, shredded meat, shredded beef.

Oh, so it's like birria but without the consomé.

Kind of like a birria. Yeah.

My father's favorite food is ropa vieja, and I regret that Tony is not here today to help us with the ingredients and the sauces because I don't think— this is a, it's a cheaper meat Uh, and it's, uh, it's something that is, uh, super, super tasty.

Yeah, post-communism, came in cans.

Uh, right, it's, yeah, it's, I'm not gonna say it's Spam-adjacent, but it's the, I think, I believe it's like viewed as the cheaper of the meats, but when people in Cuba, you know, had trouble getting meat, this was an affordable kind of meat.

I think I have that right. It's not close to Spam, it's actual beef, but the, the communist version. There's actually like this banger Cuban restaurant in Louisville, because Kentucky has a huge Cuban population. I think it's like the second biggest one in the United States outside of South Florida. And their post-communism Cuban restaurant, the ropa vieja, comes in a can.

I did not mean that it is like Spam in terms of contents. I meant in sort of reputation. You think of Spam, you think of cheap meat. Yes, generally speaking, put it on the poll at Le Batard Show. Is the meat always cheap when it comes in a can?

So, okay, when I get a machete in Portland, it's the same shredded beef that comes in the burrito tacos, only it's a larger tortilla and it's flattened and sort of crispy and the cheese is melted. Is this different?

This is different in that, uh, don't expect melted cheese.

Well, what she said though sounds like the same. It sounds like they're serving the same Latin thing, the allegedly same Latin thing in Portland that they are in Miami. But what are they calling it in Portland? Because that sounds like the same thing, Mike.

It doesn't sound like it's any machete, but the beef is just the same quality beef as the birria.

There's a little salsa verde on it, and like I said, unmelted cheese.

Need the melted cheese.

You do, but they get it out of this big, like, you know when Vince Wilfork was dancing around the ribs? Like that kind of meat locker, but the meat locker is set to maybe 84 degrees, and they bring it out. I went there early because I wanted to make sure they didn't run out, and I had like 4 friends with me, and we couldn't even finish it. It was huge, and Not bad for something without melted cheese.

I really don't like what it is that just happened in the middle of that, because I don't think you noticed it, but I actively have an executive producer who's secretly taunting me during the show. And while there's a glass here that is soundproof, I could see and read his lips so that while you were talking, and as soon as you said Vince Wilfork, I heard my inner monolog, which then made an appearance on Chris Cody's lips as I'm looking straight ahead, and he's like, I have a new wife now, and that's not helping me. That's not, that's not aiding me to do this show. You are very comfortable talking about how you met your wife, how much you love her, how important she is to you. And that's the reason that I asked the question. I've always admired that about you, that you are, you have no problems whatsoever professing your love. Well, the thing is, uh, I got a new wife now. You know, me and Bianca didn't make it.

What?

That was our interview with Vince Woolfork.

The "me and my wife didn't make it," I remember it as a plane crash. That's how you would describe it if you were in the afterlife wandering around and you were just talking to other dead people and that's how you'd perished in a plane crash.

So on a scale of 1 to Dr. Fred Johnson, where are we at on that interview?

Well, I was just gonna ask you guys the same question because that was a SUI Award winner. It's one of the most awkward sounds in the history of our show. Go on the Mount Rushmore of awkward. It's why Chris did it to me. And again, not helpful. I've got a long day today. It's the draft. I don't really care about the draft generally. I've never cared about the draft. Decide to have a draft expert on yesterday. You saw how that went. Where does that rank in terms of awkward? Because we can't put that in the Wilfork class, can we? We can't put what happened yesterday in the Wilfork class, can we?

I think it's a cut above. I have a new wife now is just a vulnerable admission.

Well, I have a new wife now makes me happy. What a fun mistake that was.

I think the funniest part is me and Bianca didn't make it. Like, he put Bianca on it. That's what's hilarious.

We didn't make it though. Like, that's not, that's not divorce. That's not separation. That's people dying at the end of a horrible, tragic thing. That we didn't make it is, is unbelievable phrasing there. Um, the Dolphins. This is a day of great hope for the Dolphins, but I'd like to talk about the University of Miami because if if you are on Calci, you should— if there was prediction market stuff that you could do, which you shouldn't be. Uh, no, you should not be. Yeah, let's use another name for, uh, prediction market. Uh, if you were doing something that was trying to predict— DK predictions available now. This, this one's not available because— that's right, because we have a partner with integrity. That's right, with licensing. With, with rules and regulations so that you can believe in everything. But if you could take a bet tonight on Mike Ryan and whether or not he has emotional investment in the Hurricanes needing to have two top-ten picks, that Mike Ryan is going to be crushed, not like he was when they lost against Indiana, but is going to be crushed if they don't have two top picks 2 top 10 picks tonight.

Would you bet that the Hurricanes are going to have 2 top 10 picks tonight?

Yeah, yeah, I think they will. I think Bain and Maligot will both go top 10.

Yeah, yeah. Malanoa has had the back thing, which has him sliding according to some mocks. And we all know the Ollie Conley story, that the perception is that Bain might fall over there. But I still think Miami gets 2, and I think they will. Yeah, that's good for the narrative.

Didn't your father, Greg Cody, who will be with us tonight, have Malanoa to the Dolphins? Yes, he does.

A lot of people do.

Malanoa. I want to know. Sorry for everybody. Well, there's a G in it. We ran into this with Tua.

What is it that your father has him at 11, right? Your father has the Dolphins. So what do you want to happen tonight? Does anyone here have some rooting interests in this Dolphins related?

I don't really have a rooting interest Dolphins related because I don't know how these guys do business. Like, I don't know how— like, we're going to get a sense of what this front office is about tonight. But we really don't know. It also kind of feels like that with the entire draft. Like, we know that Mendoza's going 1, and then after that, even with someone as high-profile as Jeremiah Love, we really don't know what's happening after number 1, which actually makes this draft tonight potentially fun.

Locally, it makes sense because there's a nice little chunk in that Venn diagram of Hurricanes-Dolphins fans. A lot of people are hoping—

like, there could be— there should be 3 Hurricanes in the first round.

Yes, yes, with an outside shot at 4. Um, a lot of Dolphin fans are hoping Reuben Bain falls. Yeah, that seems to be the consensus.

That'll be interesting though. Like, if Ruben Bain were to fall, which I don't think he will, but if Ruben Bain falls to number 11, like, is the Dolphin fan gonna be mad when they don't select him?

An interesting storyline too that I saw yesterday on DK Sportsbook was that, uh, the team most favored to, uh, select Carson Beck was actually the Miami Dolphins at +300. Really? That was yesterday.

Well, I was looking at the odds market and it looks like Malanoa's over 8.5 is actually minus money. So some of the mock drafts actually have Ruben Bain going before him.

Chatter that I was hearing around the in the spring game was Bain to the Saints, Mauanoa to the Chiefs. I know Nick Wright is hoping that the Saints pass up Reuben Bain so he can get it, and I don't think Nick Wright's going to be super happy with an offensive lineman.

Yeah, I think where Jordan Love ultimately goes is going to basically determine the rest of the draft. You dig?

So yeah, Jeremiah Love is— and he's being tossed around as a smokescreen at number 3. Number 3 is an interesting pick. Ty Simpson is favored to go to Arizona, but not at number 3. Everyone's assuming Ty Simpson may fall out of the first round or that Arizona may secure a deal that gets them another pick at the back end of the first round to go draft Ty Simpson. Sports fans, all the sports are coming together.

It's a great time to just sit on your couch, text your friend, hey, come over, let's watch the games. And when I do that to my friends, guess what they text me back?

I got the Miller Lite. That's right.

They pick up Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. And they come over to my place. We take that first sip and we realize, man, we just made a regular old-fashioned night into a special night. Thank you, Miller Lite. And shortly thereafter, we got multiple screens on. Everybody's dialed into something different, and the whole night just keeps building and building and building. That's why I reach for Miller Lite. It can take an ordinary night and take it to an extraordinary place. It's clean, refreshing, easy to drink, brewed for taste. With simple ingredients. Just 96 calories and 3.2 carbs. The original light beer since 1975 and still hitting different. Cheers to legendary moments with Miller Lite. Great taste, 96 calories. Go to MillerLite.com/Dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

Man, for me, you already know, man, I stay at the post office shipping something out. Whether it's Levitar merch, my merch, it don't matter. When that stuff starts going, it can get messy fast. That's why I rock with ShipStation. You got to know ShipStation's intelligence-driven platform brings order management, rate shopping, inventory and returns, warehouse systems, and analytics all into one place, saving me up to 15 hours a week on fulfillment. Bruh, who can't use 15 hours of spare time a week? I know I can. With ShipStation, everything I need to manage getting orders to customers is in one place. It compares rates across USPS, UPS, and FedEx. And the automation, come on, man. It picks the carrier, finds the best rate, prints labels in bulk, and sends tracking updates.

Done.

Now I get that time back to just grow my business, man. That's all I want anyway. Over 1 million businesses trust ShipStation, including our show. Try ShipStation for free for 60 days with full access to all features, no credit card needed. Go to shipstation.com and use code Dan for 60 days for free. 60 days gives you plenty of time to see exactly how much time and money you are saving on every shipment. That's shipstation.com, code Dan. Shipstation.com, code Dan.

Bow, folks, listen up. Quick break in the action. Are you counting down the days until payday? Instacash from Moneyline can help you access up to $500 of your hard-earned pay early. There's no interest, no credit check, and no monthly fees, so you can manage those in-between expenses with less stress. Download the Moneyline app and link your qualifying bank account to see what you qualify for. Moneylion— make money easy! Instacash subject to terms and eligibility requirements. Expedited delivery requires turbo fee; see www.moneylion.com.

Dan Lebatard... football!

Football?

FUTBOL! Futbol?! But bol!? Stugatz!! [SPEAKING GERMAN] ¡Bueno! ¡Bueno! ¡Bueno!

This is the Don Levatar Show with Stu Gatz.

Let's entertain what it is that Zaslo is saying there. Uh, if the—

her—

if, if Reuben Bain falls to the Miami Dolphins, uh, they can't not select him.

I will want them to select Ruben Baines so bad if he's available at number 11. It'll be, it'll be really disappointing if they don't.

But what you just said, you're going to go, look, 25 years, okay? The Dolphins, it can be argued, are as bad as anybody in football. No playoff wins over those 25 years. They've spent a lot of time telling me and selecting offensive linemen and rarely being able to block. Anybody. If tonight you're taking an offensive lineman because that's the need you have and Reuben Baines there and that's not the need you have, another offensive lineman after 25 years, I don't think you can do it. Like, I really don't think you can introduce yourself to the Miami market. I— when we had Jeff Haffley on the last South Beach session, any Dolphin fan who's been here for 25 years might get a little spooked at the idea that if he had one coach to call for advice anywhere in the universe in any kind of crisis, the calls to Dave Wonstad.

Yeah, read the room a little bit, Coach.

You cannot have such a lack of history in this market that that's how you introduce yourself, that you're going to take an offensive lineman no matter what, when for 25 years they've been taking offensive linemen and they can't block anybody. Like what you just set out for the possibility of happening tonight. I don't believe we will be given that gift from heaven where the Dolphins— like, that'll be as unpopular as we drafted the Ginn family, and it'll go on the Mount Rushmore of unpopular things to ever happen on draft day if Reuben Bain falls to the Miami Dolphins and they don't get Reuben Bain?

Like, do they factor that in at all? Like, do they say to themselves, all right, you know, there's something that happened with Reuben Bain, you know, you know, that just became public, maybe he winds up dropping a couple spots. If he is available to us at number 11, do we take him? Like, that, that gets in the good graces of everybody, of our entire fan base, and he's a really good player. It'd be great value because he's expected to go before number 11. Like, we kind of have to take him, you know, very similar to where when the Dolphins selected Laremy Tunsil, no one was talking about the Dolphins being able to select probably the best left tackle in the draft, but because he dropped, it's like, we gotta do it, and they did.

I want to just examine for a moment what I'm asking you guys about draft day hope and the drafting of offensive linemen. This franchise has done a lot of that, Zazz, and they can never block anybody. Like, this is a day of great hope for fan bases, but the great hope generally revolves around skilled players, players I've heard of, players who I feel like I can measure myself how good they are instead of having to read draft reports telling me how good they are. I see it on the field for myself.

Yeah, playmaker. A playmaker.

But I mean, you want to go through the list? They've drafted a lot of offensive linemen. And it's probably where they'll go tonight as well. That's how you introduce yourself. The new, the new people in charge. That's how you introduce yourself to Miami.

I, I understand it's not sexy. Look, I've been there. When I was a Browns fan, they were always picking top 5. The year that Brady Quinn actually got passed up on initially by the Browns and then later the Dolphins, I was pissed. You know who the Browns picked over Brady Quinn? Joe Thomas. I was furious. Who's this stiff from Wisconsin on a fishing boat? I want Brady Quinn. I saw Brady Quinn. I actually left that draft from Ale House, went to my graduation, couldn't have my phone on me because George W. Bush was speaking at MDC. And then I later found out that the Browns still got Brady Quinn. And then I knew the franchise was saved.

We love you, mate.

I mean, do they have to pick an offensive— like, the Dolphins have 3 offensive linemen that are pretty good. Do they have to take an offensive lineman in the first round?

Chris, what happened? You're so busy there looking for Wilfork sound to embarrass me that you just fired off a "who make-a the salad" for no reason. Why did you do that? Any particular reason? Okay, very good. Good, excellent work. Uh, tonight at 7:30 we go live, live draft coverage. You can expect some of that as Chris Cody steers our plane into, uh, we're not going to make it, we didn't make it.

And we actually have expertise on this. Brooks Austin, a film guy, a guy that knows these prospects inside and out, will be there whenever we actually need to get serious.

And you guys burying the lead tonight. Tonight is the battle for zagaktos. Greg Cody versus male carpet Kyper Jr. No sense, no mercy.

Okay, that'll be big tonight as we, uh, we will have Greg Cody here. It's a very serious night for him and he will be working, and he's already told me he wants to be left alone, which doesn't really work for what it is that we're doing tonight. We kind of need his help.

How do you factor in the time management that it takes to make a list like he does with the catchphrases and also go so in-depth on these mock drafts?

He works very hard. I keep asking him, when are you going to retire? Like, are you thinking about that? And he's— the Miami Herald will go down before he does. He could— he just wants to keep picking, wants to keep consulting an imaginary bird to help him with his selection.

Oh yeah. What about the parrot again? What was that?

Oh, that's a different thing, though. The parrot that he goes, "Very good," out of the side of his mouth with has nothing to do with the upset bird, which he consults and has consulted for 30 years on his picks every week. Two different birds. Get your shit together, Trista.

I've mentioned before that The Upset Bird, you know, Sunday morning Miami Herald's The Upset Bird when I was a kid was my absolute favorite.

Wasn't it Friday? I would always look forward to it.

Oh, you know, maybe it was Friday.

You would see his Dog of the Week, his Game of the Week.

My absolute favorite thing.

Same, same.

I loved it so much.

And then I would flip the paper over and here's this athlete apologist.

He just gave me a treasure. Help me do this tonight, okay? Help me give away— Greg Cody just gave me a treasure fished out of his garage. I believe it's my brother's original work. Work was the Upset Bird bumper sticker that he did for Greg Cody, and he gave me like 40 of them the other day. We should give some of those away tonight. Not too many of them, but like just some of them as part of what it is that we're doing, because the Upset Bird is a local icon.

It would talk as a bird in print.

Yep, it would give its opinion on the upset of the week. The Upset Bird would tell you why.

Wouldn't it start with like a written "awk"?

Yes.

Yeah, and then it wouldn't even be like— it would really force the "awks." No. Yeah, it would force the "awks." It would be like, Jeff, Auk Stetler.

Yep.

There would be auk at the beginning and at the end to signify that it was a bird, but it was a bird that talked and he consulted it on his picks. That is correct, Triste. Ricky, what? Yes.

There's—

Stay off the weed.

I believe he really enjoyed spelling the name Carl Macklinburg. Macklinburg would have been better. You guys think it was always an auk. It was— there were different—

No, it was crudely forced in, which made it funny.

It was W's and K's. That's correct. Something else that's funny. I wanted to ask you guys this. Carson Beck, when he identifies publicly with a school, which school is it like?

I have a pretty good idea of what he will identify with. I don't— I think the interesting question is what other people do. He didn't have the greatest breakup with Georgia and he went to the national championship game. Granted, he did win national championships as a backup with Georgia, but he played in the national championship game with Miami. So I think if he ever has a Sunday Night Football treatment, then he'd probably introduce himself as Miami Hurricane.

Well, that's— but that's what— and so Dylan Gabriel, what does he introduce himself as?

Ooh, that's tough. So if you check the Browns website, he's listed under Oregon. I do think that this is player preference. Now, usually they just end up going with the school that they most recently played with because that's the one that they had their best memories with. But that's a— that Dylan Gabriel's a spicy one. Trista, you're an Oregon Ducks fan. Do you consider him an Oregon Duck?

I do, but I don't claim him. So that's what I wanted to know when we were chatting about this is like, do you claim Carson Beck? Like, is he one of the great Hurricanes? Biggest game in 20 years. Like, he, he gave you that over and over and over again. So is he a Cane?

It's weird. I don't claim him as much as I claim Cam Ward because he played for Georgia for 5 seasons. He had— he won SEC championships with Georgia. When I think of him, I still think of him in that red Georgia jersey. But also Carson Beck with his legs.

Why do you think—

most iconic moment.

Why do you claim— is it because he went number 1 overall? Is that why you claim Ward before Beck?

Also, I mean, I was a big college football head. I was well familiar with Cam Ward, but I think most people were introduced because he played out on the West Coast with Wazoo. You couldn't really find their games all that much. Like, I think most people were introduced to Cam Ward playing football as a Miami Hurricane. And yeah, he went number 1.

I claim Cam Ward and Jayden Daniels for the Pac-12.

Am I a fool in being ignorant about not knowing the history of how Washington State becomes Wazzu? Am I, am I the one who doesn't? I'm like, I'm asking you guys because he said that rather casually and I just— now I've heard it referred to as Wazzu. I just don't know why it would. Why would be?

I think it's WSU, Washington State University.

So they're spelling it the way Greg Cody's bird talks a little bit. Okay.

What do we consider Jalen Hurts? Is he a Sooner or is he a Crimson Tide?

That one's, that one's difficult because his last act for Alabama was getting benched in the national championship game and he kind of rebuilt himself at Oklahoma. What does the, what does the Eagles website say?

The uniforms are the same color though, so I just picture just a, like, the same exact thing no matter what, right?

Do we go by the website or do we go by what they say on Sunday Night Football when they introduce some question?

Because like, I click on Jalen Hurts' profile on ESPN.com, college Oklahoma.

That's interesting.

It's always going to be wherever their last stop was.

That's what they're—

that's what is going to happen on a website. It might not be where they introduced themselves from.

Like, really?

Gabriel, UCF? Yeah.

And that's harder to answer without them here. I know what Russell Wilson used to do.

That's what I'm looking up right now. Russell Wilson. Russell Wilson on ESPN College, Wisconsin.

That's the last place he was.

That's not— well, when he introduces himself on Sunday Night Football, it's Wisconsin Wolfpack or something corny like that.

Well, and with Dante Moore, because of how things went in Dante Moore's college career where he wasn't getting burned and then now he's, you know, a top 5 pick and stays at Oregon, I think he solidified himself as an Oregon Also, Dion Dawkins, he went to you already snow university on Sunday Night Live, so I'm not sure what we do with that.

The NBA playoffs are here and DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NBA, is boosting every game day all postseason long. And when the lights get brighter, the best players in the world show you exactly who they are. Playoff stars turn it up round by round and DraftKings turns it up too with profit boosts available every game day from the first round through the finals. New sportsbook customers bet just $5, and if your bet wins, you'll get $300 in bonus bets instantly. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code DAN so you're ready for the moment. That's code DAN. Turn $5 into $300 in bonus bets if your bet wins. In partnership with DraftKings, the crown is yours.

Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or 1-800-MY-RESET. New York, call 877-8-HOPE-N-WIRE, text HOPE-N-Y. Connecticut, call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas, wager tax pass-through may apply in Illinois. 21 and over in most states, void in Ontario. Restrictions apply. Bet must win to receive bonus bets which expire in 7 days. Minimum odds required. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see sportsbook.draftkings.com/promos. Limited time offer.

Don Lebatard.

I ain't never met nobody in the world that's gonna hate on Blue's Clues.

Great nomination.

Like, who don't like Blue's Clues, bruh? If you don't like Blue's Clues, you're a loser.

Stugatz.

Look, you get one paw print, that's the first clue. You put it in a notebook, Now what do you do? Blues Clues, Blues Clues.

Sit on the chair and think about it.

This is the Dan Levatar Show with the Stugatz.

So you guys are doing two different things and I'm doing two different things. How does a player introduce himself? Because there's a Key Peele sketch in here somewhere of the next player who's gonna have sex 7 schools that he introduces himself with. But, uh, where Carson Beck identifies, or how he identifies as a player, and where other people look at him and say, I consider him this, those being two different things is interesting, right? Because I, I don't know, the audience at large I would think associates Carson Beck with, I've watched him for 5 years in important games, around important games, or, you know, you didn't play in some of them, but still He played in a lot of big games in a Georgia uniform, more, more, I dare say, than he did in a Miami uniform. So it's one year. It's— does Miami get to claim him as our guy if he spent 5 years somewhere else and he had one year here?

What if he becomes a Dolphin? I think then you can automatically claim him as a Cane.

Can you? What does that have to do with anything?

It does help.

It does help.

Regional.

Yeah.

So he's just stayed in the market playing football and therefore I'm going to grandfather him in?

Not a Falcon.

The way that things change. Do you remember, Zazz, the report, the way how quickly things change around here and how they stay the same? So Jeff Haffley says that the one call that he makes in a crisis is to Dave Wonstad. Dave Wonstad, like we, we called him Wonstache. We made fun of the beginning of the end that started with Wonstache. We had chicken fingers at a restaurant, Wannie McStaches that were mustache, fried mustaches. Vanilla Offense with no nuts was the dessert. Puntatizers.

That's why we can't book them.

Yeah. Wonstache was something that that we made some fun of, but I don't think that anyone here remembers that when Wonszczaj was in good graces with the Miami Dolphins, it was reported that the University of Miami offered him a 20-year contract. Do you guys remember this?

No, I do.

It was crazy. No, the University of Miami was thinking about trying to steal Dave Wonszczaj from the Miami Dolphins. So we're talking like around 2000 when, when things were better for when it was all 11-5s and 10-6s before it got to that last, you know, 4-12 or whatever happened at the end there.

There.

And that was the beginning of the end of Dan Marino, Jimmy Johnson, that relevant, relevant winning franchise, important. Now it becomes a regional franchise.

So it's a takeover after Coker.

Uh, but yeah, it's not just a takeover though. It was stealing the, the head coach of the Dolphins to signal that the University of Miami intended to be good for 20 years by signing, uh, Dave Wanstache. All right, you gotta look up for me please what that amount of money associated with that contract was, because I have it right. It was some— it was a real thing.

Yeah, it was real thing.

And he ended up going to Pitt.

He, he did. He ended up going to the college game, um, after he parted ways with the Dolphins. Did I ever tell you about the most recent conversation I had with Dave Wannstedt? It was this decade, and our show made a lot of fun of Dave Wannstedt. As Dan mentioned, we did Wanny McSashes. But when I was doing the musical, I wanted him initially to be a part of the musical, and then afterwards I wanted him to promote the musical. And so I, I had an interview. How would he promote He would— I was like, can I film a video? It'd be great. We have this number one musical that we did. It's a love letter to football. And I had to explain to him that the Dan Lebatard Show, which openly beefed with him, would like and use him as a punchline, would like to use him because that would be really funny for our legacy fans as well. If you did a testimonial as to how great this musical about the Super Bowl was, and he was on a golf course and he was very nice and I do think he kind of forgave us for what we did.

He's a nice guy.

He is. And it's like, I'm sorry we leaned a little too hard on the mustache, but it was all in good fun.

You apologized to him?

A little bit. Yeah, I had to feel it out.

We leaned— and part of your apology was we leaned too hard on the mustache.

He's trying to get something done, right?

Well, did we not?

The rumor was that the mustache was there for a reason. That was a, that was a rumor because, I mean, he was doing the mustache well after it had fallen out of favor.

The tickler.

Anyways, he passed on our show.

He still—

yeah, yeah, in football he ran famously, very rarely passed.

Punted.

Yeah, punt, run. LaShawn McCoy, 45 carries.

So how are you using passed? Because didn't make it. Like, you both—

it was— I, I probably could have done that conversation a little bit better.

No, no, no, I disagree. I— well, this particular conversation you couldn't have done better because because there aren't as many words in the English language, or any, as funny as past being in the middle of that sentence, given everything that we've discussed. That includes the fiery death of Vince Wilfork's marriage. Dave Wonstadt, I want you to just consider that for a moment as they look up the numbers on what that contract is. And Kalen DeBoer just signed in Alabama, and when he signed, and I read this that I'm reading 7 years, $87 million. I'm like, why?

It's a great question. You have to take—

but wasn't that— I'm not getting questions. Wasn't that— but wasn't that everybody's— wasn't that everybody's reaction on, well, that's about as bad an Alabama team as I have seen in a while.

They won a playoff game this year.

That's about as bad an Alabama team as I have seen in a while. And, and, uh, I thought they didn't have much faith in DeBoer except that every once in a while he convinces Georgia. And that's where we are with the— or he beats Georgia. That's where we are with the Alabama program that you've gone from you need to beat everybody to all you got to do is beat Georgia?

Well, wouldn't, wouldn't we be using common— not, not, you know, you just need to beat Georgia, you know, it's— but aren't we using common sense then where, yeah, that's, that's not how this game is anymore? You're not going to beat everyone every year. That game is long gone.

You get an extension when someone else is interested in your services.

That's the weird part.

When your agent effectively curates a marketplace for you, and there was a lot of that talk talk to some of us, inexplicably so, because we were doing the direct comparison to Saban's Alabama to Kalen DeBoer's Alabama.

But it's the end of April, right?

I—

it's weird, it's weird, the timing. Like, you can understand, like, they would announce the extension and then the other schools interested in his services would, would find their other candidates. So this took some dialog, but he's— he got an extension because of other schools being interested in him.

Why?

You're asking the right questions, dude.

It is weird, right?

Like, the initial deal he wants to sign with Alabama had to be at least 5 years, which would tell you he has at least 3 more years.

He ended up losing to Indiana. He did go on the road to beat Oklahoma in a college football playoff game, and we're not too far removed from him taking Washington to the national championship.

I'm just simply saying, college football fans, serious or casual, Has Kalen DeBoer done a good job, yes or no? I don't believe anyone's answering that question. Yes, vigorously. Yes, for sure. That's who gets 8, 7-year extensions like that. You don't give, you don't give 7-year extensions to maybe. You don't give 7-year extensions to you've shown me a little bit. If I say to everybody who watches college football, the job Kalen DeBoer has done so far— now that might not be fair because what we expect from that uniform is it's not a regional team, it's a national team— what would they be on the open Alabama football. What's Alabama football worth? If I make this the big business, all of this that it is, right? This is the top of the mountain in college football, which is the highest of the minor league professional sports. It's the second biggest sport in this country. If I put the Alabama football team on the market to all the billionaires and said, you want a toy? You want something that feels like a professional football team? You want to play over here? You don't, you don't have the $5 or $6 billion to get into the, the NFL club because they won't let you.

Won't welcome you in. Do you have $5 or $6 billion for a college team? What's Alabama worth? $7 billion. $7 billion. Alabama football is worth twice as much as the Padres. It's worth almost twice as much as the Broncos.

I think if you were to put it in an open market, the state of Alabama may pay $10 billion for it because it's literally their economy.

So as we see what is an overt and obvious capitalism and commercialization. This is giant sport now, right? WNBA is a business that has a streaming product. Everybody wants to get into the television business with its programming. NFL is reworking all of its deals. Alabama is its own genre. It's the shark movie. It's the only thing— you can come close with Ohio State, I suppose. But what Saban built there, the professionalization of of it makes it in reputation, a place that has no business having this, by the way. Like, just a city that has no business— I'm not— has the tradition for it, but it doesn't really make sense that all of the players would go to that city, except for that this is what it's been, the birthplace of college football for 50 years.

Yeah, the real Notre Dame, paying the players too.

But the real Notre Dame, right? Like, Notre Dame did it one way, and then over time, the Alabama program has such a prestige because who are the 3 college coaches for all time? The 3 college coaches for all time, 2 of them are there. It's Bear Bryant and Nick Saban. And you take all the rest of college football and 2 of them are there. And so that, that program is worth more than the worst of the NFL teams, is it not? If I just said to you, somehow we are going to combine Ryan Day's thoughts that college football should also have a draft and NFL is going to actually make this its professional minor league because we're going to merge the biggest powers in sports. Pro football and college football. In that setting, when everyone's throwing around television dollars, what's that program worth? Why are you giving this man this money to run that program when that's the worth at this time?

It's tough too, because you have like guaranteed labor costs are going to be way lower than in the NFL. And also it's a publicly funded university, and I don't know exactly how that works with a private enterprise. It probably goes away. Be curious to see where all this goes.

I'll just read to you the recent history. Missed the playoffs in 2024, lost to Michigan in the ReliaQuest Bowl at full strength, upset by both unranked Vanderbilt and Oklahoma in 2024, upset by 2-10 Florida State last year.

2-10.

And you said he won a playoff game and lost 38-3 in the last one. That he played. And, uh, it has to be shocking. Bear Bryant is rolling around in his grave at the idea of, wait a minute, Indiana's that much better than us? How in what world?

He ain't the only one.

How, how in what world is Indiana football this much better than Alabama football? You just gave that guy an extension.

Yeah, well, tune into the draft tonight and see who goes number 1.

A guy who Indiana can claim, by the way, even though it was just 1 year.

Also, the internet had Dan And I don't think this is Mandela effect, right? But like, there's no internet proof that Miami actually offered Dave Wansat a 20-year contract. I have canvassed the internet.

You tell 'em whoppers?

I have— no, I remember this. This was a thing, but I don't know if it showed up in like a Barry Jackson opinion thing.

No, no, it was a Miami Herald. It was absolutely a Miami Herald. I remember the headline. It was that shocking.

Yes, I remember picking up the newspaper and pointing to it.

Jeremy, I am worried about the ability to get anything from newspapers that existed in 1990 in the modern age.

I'm worried about getting anything from newspapers now.

Tell me about it. Sports fans, all the sports are coming together. It's a great time to just sit on your couch, text your friend, hey, come over, let's watch the games. And when I do that to my friends, guess what they text me back?

I got the Miller Lite.

That's right, they pick up Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer, and they come over to my place. We take that first sip and we realize, man, we just made a regular old-fashioned night into a special night. Thank you, Miller Lite. And shortly thereafter, we got multiple screens on, everybody's dialed into something different, and the whole night just keeps building and building and building. That's why I reach for Miller Lite. It can take an ordinary night and take it to an extraordinary place. Place. It's clean, refreshing, easy to drink, brewed for taste with simple ingredients. Just 96 calories and 3.2 carbs. The original light beer since 1975 and still hitting different. Cheers to legendary moments with Miller Lite. Great taste, 96 calories. Go to millerlite.com/dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 oz.