Transcript of Hour 1: Greg Cote's Catchphrase List Update New

This is the Dan Levitard Show with the Stugatz Podcast.

This episode of the Dan Levitard Show is presented by DraftKings. DraftKings, the crown is yours.

We are looking forward to tomorrow night. We are going to be doing, you know, one of those things again where we do 3 shows in 24 hours, including a nighttime late night festivity. Greg Cody is already complaining, Chris, you'll be happy to know. He's like, you guys, I've got to work. This is a big night for me. Work, and I've got mock drafts and exactos. But Greg Cody will be here, the legendary Miami Herald columnist, as part of our Thursday night extravaganza.

He's like, I'll agree to come in and be a part of it, but don't bother me. It's like, what is that?

Right, don't bother me, as he now, as we speak, gets and solicits about 7 soldiers for his army. He's always said he wants a staff. He wants an actual staff like a king carries around, and he wants a staff. It's why he wanted to be president of the United States. How many people does it take to make him a cup of coffee? Because he sure as hell can't do it himself. What's he doing? Is he just staring at ingredients?

I just kept hearing him say, I'm a K-cup man. And apparently we don't have that here. It's like a normal coffee setup here. So he just was kept just saying out loud, I'm a K-cup man.

No, we have a beautiful Nespresso is what we have here.

He was saying how he doesn't know how to make coffee. Like he didn't even know the name of the— he's like, what's the contraption they put like a filter? He doesn't even know the name.

So he's demanding a specific— let's do some play-by-play here. This would be a good place for the Telestrator because we don't use the Telestrator correctly. This is where people— yeah, this This is Greg Cody not doing the show, late for the segment, not able to help us do work here. 5 people are there trying to help. Because all of the people are around the coffee machine making him a single cup of coffee. That's what's happening right now.

Danny's just getting up.

Danny's getting up.

Danny! Wait a minute. Danny! Oh no. Okay.

Oh, it's for Cody, the empanada.

That's the first time anyone's ever seen Danny give away an empanada. That is, that is the rarest of things right there.

Greg has struck him off twice.

That is okay.

Greg, people helping him right now.

Greg, we need Clark and Raven Johnson.

Greg, we need you back in here, please, to do the show. This is your time.

7 people helping him.

It's his time of year. He's got Mock Draft on a hat. You see that hat there? He's saying it's available at the Greg Cody merch store and it's not available at the Greg Cody merch store.

That hat just reminds me of Dumb and Dumber.

Mock.

Yeah.

Yeah. King.

Yeah.

Mock King. I don't know. I just, all every time I look at that thing, I think of Dumb and Dumber.

This is a big time of year, Zazzalo. Greg Cody takes a lot of pride in getting more exactos than Mel Kiper. He's got a very good streak of getting it more right than Kiper when it comes to the NFL draft.

So I saw, cause I, at least, you know, I saw today, I guess it came out where he, he released his mock draft. And how many does he— like, exactos—

does—

what would he say is a good year for him?

We'll find out when he rejoins us later in the show after his coffee is properly made. I wanted to talk about the basketball last night. 3 upsets, that's rare. 2 double-digit dogs winning, rare. The story of, uh, the league, of course, is I didn't know they had a concussion protocol in that sport. I was not even aware I've never heard those words associated with that sport before. Didn't know there was one in the NBA before Wembanyama, the player that it can't happen to, it happens to. And now Portland, a disaster of a franchise right now.

Excuse me?

Because their owner is cheap. The only one in basketball known as cheap. There are no others. Sterling's been run out of the sport. When I say there are no others, there are no others ever in that salary cap age where a team is getting smeared with cheap.

It's got to be so deflating if you're a fan of a team who has a relatively new owner when you learn, oh shit, we got one of those guys. And there's nothing you could do about it. Like, you can't trade— you can trade bad players, you can release bad players. There's nothing you could do about it. We, we have a shit owner.

The dude has been there legitimately One month, maybe less. I went to an event, the Nike Hoop Summit, which is held at the Moda Center, and it was like 3 weeks ago, and it was starting to bubble about these— this news. And I started making some calls, and I'm like, oh, I think we have a bad one. Like, I think we got a bad—

like, such a bad realization.

And you start— it starts to give you shivers because you, you got them. You're like, oh yeah, The Hurricanes have won a bunch like this, and you're not digging into the nitty-gritty on how they've lowballed their coach and how he basically took off the radio broadcasters that were legendary and then took the TV broadcast and then just simulcast it on the radio.

Is that true? The Cowboys simulcast?

No, let's talk about this for a second because I don't think people realize what's happening in Portland, okay? And, uh, Trista was right. In bucking on the idea that Portland is a sorry franchise. It is not. It has been run by one of the great owners and richest owners known to sports. Portland's franchise has been very well run and is the most opulent of the franchises. And now a guy's coming in and he is cutthroat, and he already did this with the Carolina Hurricanes and has been rewarded for it, comes in and guts the soul of the franchise and then says all that matters is winning. It doesn't matter. Get out of the hotels, players. Get out of the hotels at 12:30. You get out of your massages. I'm not having support staff get free tickets anymore. I am not allowing all of these people to travel. And what ends up getting eaten there is somebody from business not understanding the soul of sports. What attacks— it's how what happened to Luka in Dallas. It's how that happens. Somebody who doesn't understand what the relationship is and says, no, it's just business. Get out of the hotel at 12:30 when we're on the road.

Players. I don't care, you're players, you work for me. Everybody get out, we need to save money, we, we can't have late checkouts.

So then why buy the team for $4.6 billion or whatever it was?

To make it more.

Yeah, you know the answer to that.

I get that, okay, but you're gonna, you're gonna save how much against the, you know, conference room that you're gonna put everybody in, to, to not have the hotel, to not travel the two-way guys, to all these different things that he's doing, to save how much? Like, what's the bottom line?

They said it's $1 million a year to not send the two-way players to these games for an entire year. And the hotel stuff. But like, in the grand scheme of things, that's a drop in the bucket.

You say that, but I disagree. Not if you're keeping count in dollars and not if you don't care about the soul of sports. Okay. He— what's happening in Portland right now is crazy. Scoot Henderson has the game of his life. They win a playoff game.

Scoot.

Scoot.

I thought I said Scoot. Did I not say Scoot?

Scoot.

Okay. I got fined from yesterday too. I got fined yesterday. How many fines did I rack up yesterday?

There were 3 or 4 fines, I believe.

Did you pay them?

Well, what was the Boricua fine?

That one was terrible.

That's $50 at least.

No, wait a minute. You guys can't do this to me. It's the $5, the maximum fine. What, what are the fines?

$50 if you kill someone.

What are the fines from yesterday? That's right, $50 if we kill someone.

You almost killed me.

You killed Boricuas.

So I've got $5 for Boricua. I called Alexander Walker Nikhil. I called him Walker Alexander.

Johnny just did it again.

Put 2 more in there.

Yeah, I didn't do it again.

Yes, you did.

Yeah.

You owe 4 fives. 4.

You call him Alexander Walker.

Nikhil, give me 4 fives.

Alexander Walker. Nikhil.

That's what— Alexander Walker.

My dad's trying to tip that valet after.

Yeah. Do you mind? Give me 4 fives.

You got any singles in there?

You can—

one of the fives, maybe.

All right. So the fine bucket is sponsored.

Oh, it's sponsored by Moneyline Dan. Download the Moneyline app or visit moneyline.com to learn more. Moneylion. Make money easy.

What is the fine for— I had Derek Fisher playing for both the Lakers and the Spurs.

$250.

It's a bad one.

I think we call it a Twinkie. Call it a day.

A $20? Yeah. Wait a minute. That doesn't— all of that doesn't add up to $20.

That's my call.

Call it a day.

Call it a day. All right. $20.

I put that $20 there. You're supposed to give me 5, 4 fives, that kind of thing. I want the ruble fin. I'm sorry. Give it up. I'm sorry to do that to you.

You, Greg. Uh, $20 it is. Uh, deal, we're done. Uh, last night, 3 games, all of them upsets. 2 of them on the road, 2 of them with double-digit dogs. Okay, that Philadelphia game— on the nights that Boston is missing their threes, they are unbearable to watch. Like, it's just impossible to watch. You're going to keep trying to get back in this game from 30 feet out with every shot you're shooting?

That's how they lost last year to the Knicks.

Um, it's super interesting to watch that as the only Achilles heel that a team has that they can shoot the lights out in 4 of 7 games. Like, they really have distorted how it is we're playing the sport, where I just need 4 of the games for you guys to make your threes. Just don't make it 3 of the games, make it 4 of the 7 games. And then they put up that stinker. Like, that was just terrible last night, where they lose as a 15-point favorite at home and get buried the whole game because Maxi at the end— when you're up 2, Maxi buries your stars with the threes.

And I think they went up 16-0 to start start the game. Celtics did. So it wasn't even like they had it and then they just melted immediately.

I think we're missing the biggest point of last night, which was Vijay Edgecombe. Welcome to the NBA, my brother.

Yo, Bimini, stand up!

Bimini, stand up! You know about Bimini?

Love Bimini.

I almost got a house in Bimini.

I think Dexter killed somebody on Bimini.

You should get a house in Bimini.

We should go 50/50.

No, I didn't say that, but you should get a house.

You think I should so that I can lend it to you when I'm not there?

And you let me stay there.

Hmm. Great fishing in Bimini.

This is why it was a great basketball night, because I don't know what the best story was. Okay, so here's what you've got in the 3 games. It's not just upsets and it's not just the series being upside down. In the late game, the Rockets have taken 44 more shots than the Lakers in that series and they've made fewer field goals. That team can't shoot. Kevin Durant's there to shoot 9 turnovers last night and LeBron buries him. And LeBron's the leading scorer in the game. He's the oldest player. Good player. It's just insane. It's an insanity. It's like—

I thought he couldn't impress you anymore.

Well, it's— yeah, yeah, it's just he's the oldest player in the league, and I'm saying if he does this, if he wins this series, it's the most impressive thing he's done in his career. And I know people think that's some sort of rhetorical trick. He came back from 3-1 in the Finals because Draymond Green kicked people in the junk. But LeBron James is the oldest player in the league being a leading scorer in a basketball game that doesn't have its two leading scorers and beats that defensive team that way, playing a efficient basketball— like what it is, is it's such smart basketball. Listen to what I'm saying to you on the stats: through 2 games, the Rockets have taken 44 more shots than the Lakers. They've made fewer field goals. It's because LeBron is surgically doing something while KD has 9 turnovers.

Not only that, they're out-rebounding them on the offensive glass by like a very large margin. Dan, I got a stat of the day for you if you'd like one.

Hey hey! Start of the Day! Yo, this here start of the day put 'em Start of the day, start of the day. Roy, it is here. Start of the day. Roy, Roy, start of the day. Start of the day. Start of the day. Start of the day. Chris, start of the day.

Go Chris!

According to Stat Muse, most 25.5 rebound, 5 assist playoff games: Michael Jordan, 73. LeBron James before turning 30, 75. LeBron after turning 30, 80.

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Don Libertard.

Is there Back in My Day?

There is, actually.

What?

Were you not gonna tell anyone?

Wait a minute, you guys, guys, it's a Tuesday.

Stugatz. Here's your guy, Greg Cody, with Back in My Day.

Adultery.

Oh yeah. Wait a minute.

I've been waiting for this one.

This is the Dan Levatar Show with the Stugatz.

I don't know what the story would have to be to have to be bigger than when Banyama gets hurt, right? Because in the game before that one, you have Portland win on the road and Portland was down. What was it? Were they down 9 with 4 minutes left?

Uh, they were— it was double— no, it was double figures. I think they finished a 27-10 run.

But with— but I'm saying with 4 minutes left in the game, they were down 7 or 9, and they end up pulling off an upset. And I want to get back to the cheap owner because, uh, there are very few times in my history doing this where I can look inside of the salary-capped sports where there are floors and ceilings for salary and have an ownership group identified as cheap. It's basically the Bengals, and that's the list. Like, yeah, in baseball you get that, but it's because the salaries aren't equal. It's not competitive payrolls. Uh, I don't know, does hockey— is there a hockey team that has the reputation as a franchise of this is a cheap franchise? Yeah, his, and his is the only one, but they're a well-run organization. Well, they are now. And so I want to talk to you guys about the cutthroat idea of I'll steal your soul, but if the young players are good If the young players for Dame that they got can knock off the young players for the Spurs when they don't have Wemby, but they've got plenty of talent at their home, they need the series, and they cough the whole thing up late.

Tiago Splitter is being embarrassed in front of us, okay? Everybody in the league is talking about the idea of it being some sort of graceless that you would interview other candidates and stuff while your team's on a run. Like, this is when you galvanize a community. This is where your young fans get excited about something, and Tiago Splitter is leading an improbable run. And he's worried about whether or not the masseuse is allowed to work in the ballroom because they are cutting expenses in Portland. One of the richest owners that has ever existed in sports.

This is by far one of the more impressive coaching performances that I've seen, and I don't think it's being talked about enough. Yes, Joe Mazzulla in a gap year has been incredible. Yes, what we've seen with Detroit as well. But like, there were G-League players like Caleb Love, like Sidi Sissoko, guys that most fans do not know were getting— Chris freaking Murray, the bad Murray twin, was getting significant minutes. Jrue Holiday missed a ton of time. Scoot Henderson played, I think, only after the All-Star break. I mean, the guard play was pretty much nonexistent. Danny Adebayo became a guard because they had no guards, and this team still got into the playoffs. And instead of us rejoicing and, and come and coming around Tiago Splitter after what he had to do? We're interviewing other people, we're talking about t-shirts, we're talking about late checkout fees. Like, can you just give us a little bit of time to be excited about our team?

To be honest, it's actually better for Tiago Splitter because of all this stuff happening. There's NBA teams across the, the landscape looking at, oh, wait a second, like, he did an incredible job and he's not gonna sign for $1.5 million to be the coach of the Portland Trail Blazers.

That's, that's what it's being reported that he's—

that they're offering for a head coach in the NBA in the year of 2026, we're going to have $1.5 million contracts for these coaches. And I'm sure that there's a lot of coaches that are going to be fired after the, after the season. And somebody's going to get Tiago Splitter and give him a bag.

How'd they let this guy, you know, in the league?

Money, right?

Loyalty.

He's a, he's a billionaire. But hold on a second. Let me just get back to what I was saying about Portland when they were owned by Paul Allen. Okay. When I talk about opulence, okay, the players would have their cars washed and detailed in the parking lot. They would go have lunch on his yacht. He was the wealthiest owner. Yeah, but he also, he behaved that way. He had a plane with a wet bar for the team and a, and like a master bedroom. Like he was treating the team extraordinarily well. This is what Portland is used to as a, as an ownership group. And so someone is coming in and doing cost cutting in ways that are empirically, mathematically sound for business, but soulless, like soulless in the place that sports end up being something that matters. Those players would helicopter from his yacht to where they had lunch to his private plane because he was treating the players as if they were partners, and, and he was doing so with great wealth. This guy is treating his players like, get out of the hotel at 12:30 on the road, I don't want the late charges.

Dan, have we talked to David Sampson and a million different people about ownership in sports? And like, it's a losing proposition. Like, if you're in it to make money on a year-in-and-year-out basis, you're not going to do it unless you do stuff like this. Right, really? Like, really, you think that's the case?

Yeah, like, I imagine Bruce Sherman makes money with the Marlins.

I think the most damning part of all of this is, yes, the t-shirts is embarrassing, bro. Get the fans some damn t-shirts. You ain't been to the playoffs in a minute. All that's embarrassing. But at the same time, for you to display this, just this show of unloyalty to Thiago Splitter when he stepped up for you, when you, your, your organization could have been embarrassed all year, you could have been the laughingstock of the league. My boy stepped up and said, you know what, I got you. Told them motivated everybody in that locker room to get to the playoffs. And this is the reward you give my boy for saving your face? It's bad.

I don't, I don't know how that's sustainable. When you say it's good for business, how is it good for business when you're never going to get a free agent? You're never going to get— compete for the free agent you want because you're too cheap. If I'm a star coming out of college, I make it be known I don't want to be drafted by that team.

That's a good young core that just won a playoff game at San Antonio the minute that Wemby's head got bumped. And now we're all looking at that team series, because if— I don't know what the concussion protocol is in basketball. I assume he will be— what is it?

Uh, he cannot return until at least 72 hours. Uh, 72 hours would actually take it— like, the earliest he can come back will be Game 3, because 72 hours is Friday, but he can't do anything basketball-related for 48 hours, and you gotta pass all kinds of tests. So at the earliest, if he passes all the tests, he's back.

Juju and Trista, you guys are our basketball, uh, alley-oop experts. Uh, were you aware there was an NBA concussion protocol before this?

I learned of it last night. I ain't gonna lie.

I knew there was one and I didn't know the details of it.

And, and so I don't know, because we don't know the details of head injuries because there hasn't been a body like this in the history of bodies. Um, I have no earthly idea how to diagnose whether Wemby will be himself by Game 7 of this series. But Portland stole a game on the road and they have the momentum of not just all that we're excited about our young players and hope and everything else and our future. They're also rallying around the idea of this lovable coach, disrespected by even his owner, bailing us out when the previous coach gets knocked out in a unprecedented, uh, mafia-associated, uh, allegations around crime family card game fixing. That story just took out face of the league. That, that's— that story just took out this guy's the future, he's going to dominate 5 years of the sport. And today the only thing anyone's talking about is not the winner of that game, it's the injury in that game. So that series is about the other team and entirely about the other team, and that's exactly where cities rally around their team. But now they've got the owner from Major League, the owner appears to be against what it is that they're doing there in the name of business.

And you're— you love that city, you love that team, you have an emotional relationship with it. You tell me, Tristan, the fear of of do I have a bad one, but am I now long-term relationship with a guy who doesn't care about sports the way I do?

Yeah, and I think the thing that I want to take him in and tell him if I ever get near him, which I'm not sure if he will ever be around the media and speak on a regular basis, is like, these things in the NBA have a trickle-down effect. You not bringing G League guys to get playoff experience and be there for film and be there for team dinners and be on the road that messes up the pipeline, because that's eventually what you want to do is turn Caleb Love into a rotation player. And that's how you in the CBA save on money. It feels to me a little bit like the healthcare system here where we don't want to pay for massages or, you know, acupuncture or whatever, or gym memberships, but we'll pay when you need insulin shots. And, and to me it's like, well, you're kind of like throwing away dollars to pick up pennies.

But if there are no other places that you can get competitive advantages because there's a salary cap sports, the costs are sort of fixed in the draft, right? Cody's not wrong. You're going to have a hard time getting free agents, allegedly, although I don't know if that's the case of the Carolina Hurricanes now because his answer at every turn is winning solves all of that. Don't bother me. I'm going to cut inefficiencies in our business and winning will fix all of it. Nothing else matters.

The difference is, is the NHL, they don't talk about the league and gossip about the league like you do in the NBA. Like, you tell 100— you talk to 100 people, 50 of them will go— probably 100 of them are gonna tell 50 more. This, this is something that you can't keep a secret like you can in the NHL.

Also, I just think the culture is so different where literally in the NHL the winning is what matters. The winning fixes everything. Like, they only care about about their teammates and winning hockey games. When in the NBA, I think it's more all-encompassing, like the lifestyle plays a major role for these players.

We talk about free agency, like it's almost better to not sign these massive free agent deals if you're trying to cut costs at every single thing, because the most— the heaviest cost of your entire franchise is what you have out on the court. When Dani Avia comes up, is he going to be a supermax eligible player? They're going to give him $250 million in a couple years?

Right.

And that's not being talked about enough either. Last night, Denny had a slow night. He had a rough night. And Toumani Camara stepped up, 2 big free throws. My boy Scoot stepped up. So I feel like that whole roster, bruh, it deserves to be watered at least.

If—

look, I think Wembenyama is going to return rather soon. It's the playoffs there. They have championship aspirations. But if he doesn't, they're probably in trouble. Like, they're probably in a lot of trouble. In trouble because it's— now Portland's a young team too with very little experience outside of Jrue Holiday, but San Antonio is a really young team with very little experience.

This is what— this is why when Amin comes on here and says the value of playoff experience, God Almighty, just a little bit Orlando had. What they did to Charlotte was like embarrassing with the little bit that Orlando had. Even Detroit, it's a, it's a different— it, it is a different sport in the playoffs even if you want to take all of the threes. And I'd be bothered if I were a Celtics fan with all the jogging around Tatum was doing yesterday because how play— how they play basketball is frustrating. Like, it, it looks beautiful when they're beating Orlando because their subs are making all the threes. But when those shots are not going down for the Celtics and all they're doing is running around out there 30 feet from the basket shooting because Tatum and Brown will always be able to get those shots from out there. You can't— you can't guard them from out there.

You remember the big story after those first two games with Boston and New York last year when New York went up 2-0. The Celtics were something like 15 for 100 from 3 in those first 2 games. It's disgusting basketball.

And up 20 in both of the games.

Don Libertard.

You got to know I'm a big Colombo guy. Salute to that boy.

Okay. I don't think that's proof. I don't think that's proof. I think that could be— I think that's a lie. I don't think that's—

He said salute.

I don't think that is evidence. Salute to that boy. It suggests camouflage. It suggests that Juju has no idea what we're talking about. Um, and now he's just Googling it.

Stugatz!

I'm not Googling it. My grandmama stayed in the country. I watched the Braves, I watched Columbo, I watched Matlock, I watched Andy Griffin. Yeah, you go to the penalty box, Dan.

You talk, Juju.

Back to you, Stu.

This is the Don Levitar Show with the Stugatz.

So what's happening here though when we do this, Cody, with the math on just the randomness of we're gonna make it 63s a night and on some nights we're gonna make 10 and on the ones that we make 30 we're gonna score 140, but that's not the playoffs. All those games last night are low scoring. Like, it is a different sport in the playoffs. Not quite like hockey, because nothing's quite like hockey, but this is a different sport in the playoffs. Look how Charlotte's learned that. I was trying to say this the other day and I didn't say it well. Charlotte, one of the great offenses in the sport, they were beating people by 18 points a game over the last part of the season, making those threes from wherever it is that LaMelo Ball wants to take them. They were having trouble getting the ball over half court against the Orlando defense. Like, it was, it was weird to watch a team that I knew was great at offense just get buzzsawed.

It was a little bit it like the Panthers, right? Where after the '22 season they won the President's Cup, uh, the President's Trophy, they're the highest-scoring team, and it's like, yeah, that shit doesn't work in the playoffs. And then they had to completely change their roster and they hired a new coach and changed their style of play, and you know, they won.

Yeah, but Boston has had the season it's had because of 3s, so I think the worst thing you do is, oh, it's the playoffs now, we gotta change our whole game. I think what you do is you count on the norm happening which is we're going to make enough threes to win.

No, but they're not going to change their game. What I'm complaining about is the idea that their whole philosophy is built on we will make more threes than you in 4 of the 7 games.

Right.

And but isn't that most of the NBA now, right?

Yeah, they're better at it than most. But they're also— but they're all— but they're also distorting it more. I haven't looked it up, but I'm going to go ahead and say that in the history of gambling, there haven't been a whole lot of double-digit dogs that have won that way. By that much in Game 2 on the road against a team that's clearly better than you and a defending champion. Like, to be a 14.5-point dog in that game and to win it, you know, a bit running away at the end because they made their threes and Boston didn't at the end. That style of basketball, it bothers you, does it not? You love it in Boston, but nowhere else, correct?

Hate it. Hate watching it.

Right.

It's disgusting. Even going back to the Houston series, that, that matchup last night, I got a shocking revelation right now. 76 combined points between LeBron James, Luke Kinnard, and my boy Marcus Smart last night. This is the playoff experience that I feel like Houston is lacking. Like, this is showing up in those type of areas. And I think we also, to kind of put a little sauce in it, I think we found the most ass player, the most ass All-Star in the history of All-Stars, Alperen Şengün. Whoa, I think my boy is ass. My boy missed 10 layups last night. 10 of them.

There's, there's been something rotten the second half of the season about this Houston team. Like, like, I know they got a little bit hot toward the end of the season, but there was a stretch there where this, you know, you got Kevin Durant talking about maybe I should just go stand in the corner, you know, complaining about the offense. And then of course last night he returns to 9 turnovers, 9 turnovers, only 7 made baskets. It that also has a lot to do with the Lakers. The Lakers, the way they defend Kevin Durant, because this has been a problem all season when Durant plays the Lakers. He, in the last 3 games against the Lakers, he has 20 personal turnovers.

Look, but this is how— this is normal aging. LeBron, do not let LeBron James distort it for you just because he's an alleged peer of Kevin Durant. No, Kevin Durant is one of the greatest scorers ever, and LeBron James is better than him forever LeBron James is much older than Kevin Durant. Kevin Durant was brought in to be both the experience and the shooting for a team that was a 2-seed last year. A team that overachieved last year and then will underachieve because the hardest thing to coach in sports is an aging superstar. He's lost his last 7 playoff games. That's how it happens. Kevin Durant will be able to get 25 points in a game until he's 80 years old. But he's going to lose playoff games because that is how a player ages. He's an old man! You guys have gotten so used to the science of and LeBron James that you don't understand that what's been brought in to lead, to lead the Rockets, is the worst version of Kevin Durant that there has been. Even though he can still make shots, jump shots for a lifetime, he's gonna have 9 turnovers in a playoff game when it becomes a different game.

Yeah, I mean, this Houston team's not good though. Like, I think in general the stats have always said all season long one thing. At one point they were the best 3-point shooting team in the league and just shot the least amount per game, and it was never a a real thing for me. It always felt fugazi. And, and to be honest, I like this Lakers roster more than I like the Houston, but they were 2 seed.

They were, they were a good— like, this was supposed to be a young up-and-coming team, and Kevin Durant's a final piece.

They were a different team last year, right? Like, they built such a big team looking around saying, all right, what we're gonna do is we're gonna out— we're gonna play bully ball. We're gonna out-rebound you. We're gonna get shots at the rim. Also, they don't have a point guard. Like, that's a big deal. Fred VanVleet getting hurt in the beginning of the season completely nuked what their offense was supposed to be. Reed Shepard steps into a spot where Ime Udoka doesn't even like Reed Shepard, but he has to give him the keys to the offense and be like, you got to do something here because we don't have anybody that can shoot.

They won the same amount of games this year with Kevin Durant as they won last year without Kevin Durant. The Phoenix Suns with Durant last year won 36 games. This year without him, they won 45. We all know that Phoenix was a disaster. This Houston situation is not good. Brooklyn, for the most part, was a disaster. Why did he leave the Warriors?

Okay, well, let me, let me talk about this part for a second, because you think, Draymond, you think that winning was so much fun that people would never get tired of winning, and then the wheels come off on all of these things after about 4 years because the pressure is up here. Like, going to work every day is less fun than you think it is. It's just, it's really pressurized, and these guys don't enjoy it because everyone's coming after them, and the competitive business is like Like, cutthroat. Everyone, everyone wants your money. Chris Whittingham had it right when he said if you replayed the simulation of Kevin Durant's career in whatever 3 million choices you wanted to make for possibly a top 10 scorer of all time, top 10, possibly top 10 player of all time, you can make the argument if you want to. 2020, missed the playoffs. 2021, second round exit. 2022, first round sweep. 2023, second round exit. 2024, first round sweep. 2025, missed playoffs. 2026, down 0-2 on the road. That's how a player ages. That's how a superstar ages, where you're— it looks the same. He's in the same uniform.

The number and the name are the same on the back. The numbers are the same. He can go get them anywhere in the world. But here, look at all this losing. That is a lot of losing for an all-time great. It, it's why he will forever pale in the shadow of LeBron.

How much can we attribute to also he's coming off of an injury? Like, he was injured the day before and still putting up them type of numbers. It's up to his team to beat a team. Like, I saw Aaron Holiday getting clutch minutes in God's 2026 win. Like, this is— I think it's more of a team issue than KD right now.

Oh, but Juju, you're exactly right though. Yes, of course he's coming back from injury, and those are more unforgiving and more likely to happen when you've got as many miles on those limbs and everything as, as that guy does. I'm not— I don't even mean this to desecrate Kevin Durant. Imagine— please pay respect to all of the dinosaur in him. That at that height will forever make basketball look beautiful. But that team he was supposed to be the final piece for, and I'm sitting here watching, and injured or not, the Lakers don't have two of their best players. Like, that you're, you're favorites in both of these games. Nobody expects— do you know how infrequently LeBron enters the playoffs with no expectation? Predictions. This playoff series started with nobody expecting the Lakers to win because how could they, right?

And no pressure therefore. But Marcus Smart, we haven't mentioned him.

Tony did because that is playoff experience. Marcus Smart has played in a thousand of these games.

Yeah, and his defense is— has been what's caused a lot of KD's, uh, turnovers.

But it wasn't defense last night. I didn't think Marcus Smart had that game in him anymore.

I—

did anybody? You better win the Marcus Smart game, and they But did anyone think that Marcus Smart had the game on both ends of the court where he would be LeBron's wingman?

I mean, Canard, who played for his AAU team, by the way, he played for LeBron's AAU team.

Ever since the, you know, Stephen A. Smith said that Luke Canard was the best shooter he'd ever seen, it was like kind of a foolish thing.

Stan's on a heater.

And then it's like, oh damn, Luke Canard, my bad, I doubted your game, brother.

Uh, put it on the poll please, @LebatardShow. Uh, Luke Kennard, I was not familiar with your game, yes or no? Uh, let's play a brother. Thank you. Uh, catchphrases please. Are you ready?

I'm ready.

The Greg Cody Show featuring Greg Cody. You can get all of your updates there. Uh, I don't know if Trista has been introduced to your catchphrases.

Trista, you know about them catchphrases?

You have any familiarity with these?

I'm very intrigued. I mean, I've got caught them in the wild but never in a list.

Okay, so if you have— I, I usually Write something down here so that if you have questions, I want to go— if you have any historical context you want, because we can't have interruption of this. We got to get out, we got to get out of the man's way and let him cook.

Are we ready?

Number 50.

I'm Fullerton Vern Fuller.

49.

Where's my click click?

48.

Hey, Butterfinger!

47.

Punt.

46. Scranton! 45.

I'm visiting a one-armed paper hanger.

44.

Georgia! Georgia.

43.

I'm the kind of guy that—

42.

Ballin' the Jack.

41.

Hey hey with the Monkees, baby.

40.

Thank you, Billy.

39.

I love him like a pet. 38. Who made it a salad?

37.

We're rolling now, huh?

36.

Your brain beatin' me.

35.

Let's go States.

34.

Driver comfort is paramount.

33.

Dummy up. Say bop.

32.

Catch as catch can.

31.

Doesn't make it right.

30.

So on and so forth.

29.

Very good.

28.

The Little League Theory.

It's maddening. It doesn't belong in there. 27.

Nice hat, asshole.

26.

The others, they all learned from me.

25.

Don't go showering to try to please me.

24.

Look at that jerk.

23.

It's like a packing house in here. There should be hams hanging from hooks.

22.

What'd you learn?

21.

Hee-haw, 3, ba-dum.

So now we are at the historic top 20 on a daily, uh, weekly joke that, uh, monthly joke that that Cody has kept in the air for a long time now. The top 20 are the most important of the catchphrases, and we are revealing 20 and 19 on the Greg Cody Show featuring Greg Cody.

Yeah, with, that's correct.

And so that's not correct, and if you're correcting me, then it's not correct. Is it featuring Greg Cody or is it with Greg Cody?

It's with, yeah, it's with. Yeah, never been featuring. With, more concise, one syllable.

Well, the Greg Cody Show is also more concise, but you didn't go that route. With—

well, you know, you got to do what you got to do, right?

It didn't need the 'with' or the 'featuring.' Yeah, I think it did. It's the Greg Cody Show.

Who's hosting it?

Thank you.

The Greg Cody Show.

Yeah, yeah. Who? Right, with Greg Cody.

Who would it be with? Hal Haben? Like, it's the Greg Cody Show. It could be with Chris Cody.

I mean, it could be with Yeti Blanc.

I mean, with Hal Haben.

Number 20. Number 20.

Hey, I'm not going to take a quiz.

It's a show staple.

Only 20, huh?

Number 19, sassafras. Uh, Trista, any questions?

Um, I'm fuller than Vern Fuller.

Yeah, I'm fuller than Vern Fuller. It's something I've been saying my whole life. Vern Fuller was a second baseman for the Cleveland Indians.

What did you just say, Trista? What came out of your mouth?

I don't remember.

How could you do that? How could— it is what it is. Get your best work, that freestyle. And that's how you just asked that question.

I didn't know really what he said. And so I wrote down, um, ver, vem, full, fur.

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