Transcript of Donald Trump's Response To Shooter's Manifesto? "I'm Not A Rapist" | Hour 2 New

This is the Dan Levatar Show with the Stugatz Podcast.

Chris Cody, where is your father?

I believe he was scurrying to the bathroom, but I was like, Dad, we're starting. He's like, your brain beating me, and just kept walking. So I don't know.

Come on, just a little bit of pee pee. Just a little bit.

Oh wow, we're getting this.

That's right.

That's what we're getting. Yeah, the inner monolog is having trouble peeing. Uh, Greg is late to the segment. Greg, I'm sorry to do this to you. That is a $1 fine for being late to the start of the segment. Uh, you owe a dollar. Do you have it on you?

I don't.

I don't believe— I don't believe— I, I don't think I do.

Funny you mentioned that, Dan, because the fine bucket is presented by Moneyline. Download the Moneyline app or visit moneyline.com to learn more. Moneyline, make money easy.

Oh, forget about it. Uh, no, we will not. When you don't have the dollar, it becomes A double fine. It just becomes double. That's all. We're actually enforcing these now. Forget about it. The negotiations with Udonis Haslam fell apart. He was going to be the enforcer. You don't say. Let him talk and some societal issue will pop up and we'll move on.

You know, we're heading towards, Dan, a potential Udonis Haslam versus Cyclones rematch. I know we got to win our first round. The playoffs are set. We can get to that later. But I'm very excited about the—

No, give me a Cyclones update. People care about our highlight team. I care about our highlight team.

I mean, the only update is yesterday we clinched the 2 seed. It was a good season overall. We started out hot, we had a little cold streak in the middle, but we end up the 2 seed out of the 6 teams in the league.

I feel like it was just a couple weeks ago, heads were about to roll.

Yeah, and now 4 teams make the playoffs. So we have playoffs this Friday, 3 PM matinee. They gave us the, you know, they, they kind of, you know, there's the 3 PM and the 7 PM. Oh, you get like the NBA TV slot? We got the, the not so great, but that's good. Go Cherries! The best player in the sport, they're always going to put him in. I understand the flex.

I understand the flex, but if you would have asked me, this is the ideal scenario entering the final stretch of matches. We wanted the 2 seed. That gives us a tiebreaker should we eventually meet up with the, uh, the Renegades. Did you tank the last game because you wanted to be number 2? No, no, no, we won the last game. No, we needed to win the last game and we did win the last game. And now Chargers, who are the number 1 seed, go up against Renegades and the best player in the world. We have the Fireballs. 2-3 matchup. So we— if it should be tied after the 6 matches, we get to decide who the tie-breaking tandem is there. And a big advantage, it's a huge advantage because when you get to this level of the, the playoffs, I mean, these games are super tight. And also, should we meet Go Cherry in the final, we can avoid Go Cherry in the final by dictating who the tie-breaking tandem shall be. So huge. You could argue you'd rather be 2 than 1 here, but we still need to TCB against the Fireballs.

I don't know if you guys can see Mike from here, and I asked this question with genuine curiosity. I'm not looking to make fun of you. Is your left eye— is that Talladega?

No, I have shingles. I'm toughing it out. You're welcome. It's very painful. It can be. Comes down to, uh, pain tolerance and how much of a man you are.

Popping some pills or no?

A little bit.

I thought shingles didn't have pills that could really help you there.

It's a pain thing, so yeah, you know, shingles is a form of herpes. How transferable is that? It's not contagious anymore. Yeah, I had—

I actually, I actually like 3 months ago had shingles. Never told anyone because when I went to the doctor, they had told me I was already not contagious anymore.

I'm sorry, you guys showing the family lifetime chemistry that we've come to appreciate around here. I didn't hear what you said.

I was gonna just mention that my roof has shingles.

Wow. Stephen Colbert is off the air in less than a month, May 21st. If you have not been following late night, it passes for vigorous media these days, what Kimmel and Colbert are doing for America. But late night has died, at least in part, because everybody watches whatever they want the following morning, and that's not a business model when you have to pay, you know, hundreds of people. And so If you're not watching what's happening at CBS, okay, a, uh, a news giant is, uh, being taken over by biases in a way that makes even, uh, 60 Minutes, one of the greatest and most reputable things that's ever been on television, uh, 60 Minutes is surrounded largely by, uh, you know, problems, issues, biases. And now the late night show that is the number one show in America has a month left to challenge a president who's putting his face—

So why are they doing it if it's number one?

They're— well, it's complicated. They would argue that it loses too much money and late night is dead. And also everyone notices that CBS bowed on a lawsuit, frivolous lawsuit, to the president. CBS's entire news outfit has been contaminated by leanings. And so— and they're leanings that skew right. And I'd understand anybody who's listening to this who would say, and television has skewed left for the entirety of my lifetime, but you've seen what's happening here with the biases. And this is one of the giants. This, as I keep talking to you guys about credibility and the importance of truth, and I keep telling you things like, oh, there was an assassination attempt at the Correspondents' Dinner, and the initial reaction of the internet is to say that's fake, that's, that's not real. The initial reaction is a sort of consensus of, I doubt everything I'm seeing. Now, because gunshots are so common in this climate, Colbert has had a monster run of success and he retires on top and he'll be fine. Conan O'Brien might be the most successful of all of these hosts because he has all this stuff and now the audience is his.

It will go where Colbert goes, but I will miss him on the forum that is playing court jester to this administration and being challenging and reaching a lot of people with something that news generally doesn't do well, which is entertain. And so, uh, he's giving his exit interviews. Uh, he is, um, somebody who has been a very strong, powerful force in politics and news. Because I, I remember telling you guys 20 years ago, stunned at the change of network news that made Jon Stewart our most credible news person according to American polling, because he wasn't just giving you the news, he was doing so in a way that made you laugh and called out all the hypocrisy.

So I'll—

I will miss Colbert here. Kimmel— it's been amazing to watch Kimmel's career. Go from man show to what he's presently doing. It's been amazing to watch Jimmy Fallon not keep up and protect the reputation of The Tonight Show by just being something that exists. All right, yeah, benignly. Uh, but this whole thing being dead makes me sad, and him as a court jester governor, I will miss him because his shows have been very good for a while now.

I mean, we can argue that it's dead. I don't think so because the government seems to be paying awfully close attention to it. And to me, the late night story isn't Colbert saying goodbye finally after several months. It's what's happening with the FCC forcing ABC-owned stations to file for early renewal, you know, minutes after Melania and the President of the United States complain about the jokes that Jimmy Kimmel is telling. They are leveraging these FCC licenses against network television companies that have a Super Bowl upcoming because they can't take the jokes the First Amendment rights of these comedians.

That's what's happening in America. Are you good with it?

No, that's fascism, Dan. That's being an authoritarian. I am not okay with it. And the last time that FCC licenses were leveraged, people all came out in unison across both sides condemning this sort of stuff. So we should not let this news just go idly by as we're talking about ballrooms here. The government is once again illegally leveraging FCC license against entities because they don't like jokes.

I would make that point again and again, and I think rhetorically we probably need to stop with fascism and authoritarianism, just—

or—

well, they need to stop pretending to be them.

Well, but no, this is all I'm saying, right? You're not changing anybody's mind with that, because anytime anyone hears fascism, authoritarianism, or socialism, they just shut down down the conversation wherever it is that they already are.

Cool, they can describe to me what that is.

Uh, well, but I— you just described it factually by, by saying the government is weaponizing arms in order to shut up the free speech of jesters. Like, that's, that's what's happening. They keep coming after Jimmy Kimmel. They already got Colbert because— whether I don't know what to believe exactly about what's happening at CBS, but the people with all the money are getting more and more money and can do something at CBS. Hand it over to their kid who doesn't care about what your previous generations thought of news, thought of credibility, thought of anything. This is a race to the most dollars from a bunch of people who already have a bunch of dollars, and in their path they destroy the Washington Post. The New York Times doesn't have the credibility it had 5 years ago because you need to have a monster amount of money to fight the government with its arms. You have to settle, or you feel like you have to settle, a frivolous lawsuit, a clearly ridiculous lawsuit, and just give the president of the United States $16 million because he's got lawyers to make the nuisance go away because you don't have the wherewithal to fight as all of these things die.

And the American people don't seem to care enough because they're worried about their bills. They're worried about the things that are happening at home, not in the fantasy land of what's happening on television.

Well, I don't think it's because the president has lawyers, even though he does certainly have those. The president has the power to make antitrust things go away. We saw with Live Nation and Ticketmaster how they were going to be taken to task. And then there was a settlement because of direct government interference. Like, the government can broker these deals and overlook some antitrust exemptions should they feel that there's some sort of benefit to them. That, that is very clearly what's going on. It is out in the open. Some people are okay with it because it falls more in line with their political views, and I would once again, as I often have, remind everybody that the political pendulum, especially in this country, swings from side to side. And a lot of the people that are okay with this because it benefits them now would certainly throw a hissy fit if the shoe were on the other foot. You mentioned the economy and people caring more about that.

That's why fascist leaders like root for the economy to tank, is so that they can get a conglomerate of their people in power to gain more money.

They want the working class to feel separated from the work that they're actually doing, to feel separated from, from what they're contributing to, and then also feel a bigger focus on things like gas prices and egg prices because they'll be distracted by everything else that's going on behind the scenes. They won't worry about that. They need to worry about the day to day. That's why it's a benefit for them. The top 11% of American wealth owns 93% of the stock market. Hey, it's Mike Ryan, and I want to talk to you about the random midweek hang that you have with your friends. Maybe it's an NBA game, you get a text, hey, come over, you want to watch the game? And maybe you're like, ah, I don't know, I kind of just wanted to stay home. And then you think about it after your buddy hits you up, and you know just the thing that'll make that regular hang, that regular midweek hang around the basketball game into a special time, into a Miller Time. That's right. This happened to me just last week. I grabbed a 6-pack of Miller Lite, said I was on my way, and next thing you know, we're arguing about rotations like we're on the coaching staff, yelling about a missed call, and the game's coming down to the final possession.

It was one of those nights that you look around, you take a sip, and you think, yeah, this was the right call, and my friendship's stronger for it. Cheers to legendary moments with Miller Lite. Great taste, 96 calories. Go to MillerLite.com/Dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller time! Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

Going for 2 when you're up by 5. Switching the zone when man isn't working. Oh, and building your new stadium in the state your team actually plays in. In sports, some things just make sense. You know what else makes sense? Drinking Jägermeister shots ice cold. Drinking it any other way would be like punting on first down! Or letting your worst hitter bat first! Or like going for two when you're down three with a second to go! It wouldn't make any sense! So don't let the team down. When it comes to Jägermeister, drink it cold or don't drink it at all! Jägermeister.

Damn, that's cold.

Drink responsibly. Jägermeister Likör, 35% alcohol by volume. Imported by Mast Jägermeister US, White Plains, New York. Dan Lebatard.

Greg, how's your birthday going so far?

Hey, Bennett, it's going fantastic. My wife and I are staying home tonight. We're watching the debate on TV. We're gonna do something special for dinner. It's a nice day for me so far.

Stugatz. That sounds like a not a super nice night. The debate? Old people love that shit.

Yeah.

That's exactly right.

Yeah.

That's exactly right. Old people do love that shit. And I'm old now. I can't deny it anymore. Now?

This is the Don Levitar Show with the Stugatz.

I want to continue down this path here with you guys for a second because there were a couple of things that happened over the weekend that sort of caught fire on, uh, on viral moments that are easy to chew on when everything feels out of control, everything feels chaotic, it feels like there's too much scandal and corruption to keep up with as it's a race $4. And I don't know if you guys read the Forbes report, but Trump's kids, uh, you know, I— Donald Jr. has gone from worth $150 million in the last year. I'm going to get some of these numbers wrong because I don't have them in front of me, but it's $150 million to like $750 million. Uh, Eric— Brandon's a sophomore. They've made hundreds of millions of dollars in the last year.

Let's go, Brandon. Yeah, but let's go that guy.

Uh, Whoever it is that's the sophomore in college, Barron.

Barron.

Barron. Yeah, real tall. He's worth $150 million in cryptocurrency because the president of the United States is doing things like taking planes from the Saudis because of how open and obvious some of this stuff is.

It was Qatar.

So here is some video of Trump after the White House Correspondents' Dinner talking to Norah O'Donnell. And listen to how this goes on 60 Minutes. He writes this, quote, administration officials, they are targets. And he also wrote this, I am no longer willing to permit a pedophile, rapist, and traitor to coat my hands with his crimes. What's your reaction?

Well, I was waiting for you to read that because I knew you would, because you're, you're, you're horrible people. Horrible people. Yeah, he did write that. I'm not a rapist. I didn't rape anybody.

Oh, you think he was referring to you?

Excuse me. I'm not a pedophile. You read that crap from some sick person. I got associated with stuff that has nothing to do with me. I was totally exonerated. Your friends on the other side of the plate are the ones that were involved with with, let's say, Epstein or other things. But I said to myself, you know, I'll do this interview and they'll probably— I read the manifesto. You know, he's a sick person. But you should be ashamed of yourself reading that because I'm not any of those things, Mr. President. And I would never—

excuse me.

Excuse me. You shouldn't be reading that on 60 Minutes. You're a disgrace. But go ahead. Let's finish the interview.

The idea of the president of the United States at any point in my lifetime being called either of those things. In the realm of credibly would have been the scandal of a lifetime. Can we just shorten that up though so I can just hear Norah O'Donnell? Because she did newsface here great, as if like she really had the checkmate move here that made all his words after that totally irrelevant. I am no longer willing to permit a pedophile, rapist, and traitor to coat my hands with his crimes. What's your reaction?

Well, I was waiting for you to read that because I knew you would, because you're, you're, you're horrible people. Horrible people. Yeah, he did write that. I'm not a rapist. I didn't rape anybody.

Oh, you think he was referring to you?

Excuse me. I'm not a pedophile. You read that.

I forgot traitor, too. I'm sorry.

It was just textbook move to trample and call somebody nasty. You're a horrible person because you're a news organization reading the manifesto of the shooter that is in the news. It defies logic.

Also over the weekend, I don't know if you guys have seen this, but Russell Brand has been making the rounds and—

what'd he say?

He is accused of sex crimes and he was on with Piers Morgan and he has admitted to having sex with a 16-year-old now and has said that that is something that is age of consent legal where it is that he was or is in, in the United Kingdom. But what happened here was unbelievably embarrassing and And I actually thought Piers Morgan did something that's really hard to do here in television, which is sit in silence. You very rarely hear prolonged silence on television without someone stepping in to fill the noise, and you can absorb the full awkward of this. It took substantive restraint for someone with the ego of Piers Morgan to just sit in this silence.

Can I go back to asking you a question about your Bible? Yes, if you want to. Thank you. Was that the one you took into court?

Yeah, the very one. Okay.

What was your thinking of taking it into court? And what you were seeing, looking at some passages, what were the relevant passages for you? All right, thank you for asking me. Thank you. That didn't hurt, did it?

A little bit.

Um, it was this from Isaiah. You're right, Bear did say, you know, be chilled. Sometimes I lose the chill, man. It's pretty— it's this. They don't like that, do they, in the old gallery? But remember, you just said it's a hired spot.

This is from Isaiah.

Excuse me.

Thin pages, man.

I'm not gonna mark it before.

Do I have little sticky notes?

Is he screwing with him? Feels like he keeps going back and forth. It says here, bookmark or something. Bible app on your phone. It's good laying out my fears.

The word—

the verse that I was looking at that day was Not this.

I can't actually—

I can't actually find the verse that I had that day, but this is good enough. This is from my— it's settled. This is good enough.

Russell Brand is one of the quickest, fastest people in the history of entertainment with his mind, and he had nothing there for his grift being explored on national television.

It's a lot of words in the Bible, Dan. It's a lot of pages. Maybe you guys haven't opened it up. Probably not. So you're trying to find a lot of stuff. Why would you assume that? I got assumptions.

Why would you?

I got assumptions.

Why would you assume?

The last time you opened up a Bible, Dan, let's be honest. What was the last time he did?

Are the pages that thin?

They are that thin, by the way. But sometimes you're trying to read something. You're also on TV. It happens to all of us. You look original. I got the, you know, I got this somewhere.

I don't read.

Don't defend Russell Brand here.

I don't read the—

Defending the Bible, Jeremy. Thank you.

I don't read.

That it's long.

I mean, people—

There's a lot of words.

People who love the Bible typically can quote quote from the Bible. They don't have to look up what the passage is.

Very true. I just know what the word is. I just quote Hegseth.

Is it pronounced Isaiah?

Uh, I've never heard it.

He's British. Famously British. That much we can agree with. I've, I've not heard it pronounced like that.

Uh, this, the things that are happening, uh, they, they feel a bit dystopian, do they not? Or distupid-in. Like, do they not feel to you like something that when I put for in front of you—

No, Kid Rock addressing the Pentagon is totally fine. He gave us a little update on the straight. That was cool.

Well, Kid Rock did the same thing Russell Brand did because Kid Rock, after his alternate performance where he was accused of lip syncing, he then summoned his DJ in for an emergency appendectomy from Detroit and they got on the internet and they explained, no, this is what happened. You heard it wrong. Russell Brand did the same thing where he goes on social media. He's got a tremendous following. He has his own audience and he's like, this is the Bible verse I was looking for.

Here it is right here.

He got him. And he showed a Bible that had a lot of things circled and underlined, and he wasn't able to undo what it is that had happened on Piers Morgan. It wasn't a possible adjustment to make. Can you guys explain to me, because I don't know what happened here, but we played yesterday a clip of, you know, the allegation that Stephen A. Smith is not interested in being great at journalism anymore. He's interested in being great at famous, at audience acquisition. Steve Stout is the one who made the accusation on Rich Kleinman's podcast. And I heard, but don't know any of the details around Stephen A. Smith now fighting with all of NASCAR.

All—

is it all of NASCAR?

Yeah. Yeah. All of NASCAR basically addressed it this weekend at at Talladega, and it's continued. Stephen A then responded to them doubling down, insulting great NASCAR driver Lewis Hamilton. That's— he confused Denny Hamlin with Lewis Hamilton, saying, you know, one of these tropes that you hear about that sport and other sports, like, oh, those guys aren't real athletes. Certainly never putting himself through sitting in front of a race, let alone being in a car and knowing the physical demand that it takes over there. But it's good for NASCAR to have Stephen A talking about the sport, even when he's being negative about it, even when he is being super ignorant and not caring. That, that is decent mainstream attention. And he's talked often about Michael Jordan. He's had Tyler Reddick on the show. Like, they've talked more NASCAR on First Take this year than ever. And for him to dismiss you in, in the currency, in attention currency, that's not bad.

Happen.

Plus, it's so ridiculous. I mean, you, you hear that all the time where, oh, look, they're not athletes because the car is doing all the work. And, and jockeys get the same thing in horse racing. The horse is doing all the work.

Well, I'm actually insulted by that a little bit because you're, you're worse than Stephen A. because I expect more from you. No, drivers, they lose like 10 pounds a race. That they had some level of power steering.

But I was saying that's, that's not me. I was saying that's the criticism though when When the Stephen A. Smiths say that the drivers are not athletes, what they mean is the car is doing all the work.

I would say NASCAR drivers would be offended by you putting jockeys in their category.

A jockey's an athlete.

A jockey is an athlete. Big time.

But not a NASCAR athlete.

I don't— like, I get why someone says that, because it's about the car and people just don't know the physical toll. They don't know that your heart rate goes up to like 170 in these races. Right. They don't know that there's no air conditioning. They don't know that while there is some power steering, they are constantly fighting their cars, and that takes a great amount of core strength. Right. They don't know these things because there's a lack of education. They just see a car driving really fast and they assume it's got the same setup as their sedan.

Right. No, but I think you misheard or I misspoke. I'm saying that— what I'm saying is the Stephen A. Smiths, their reasoning would be the car's doing all the work and the guy's just steering. Same with jockeys. If you don't think a jockey is an athlete, who ends a race being exhausted physically?

That's not the part that's interesting to me about this, okay? A couple of things are interesting to me about it, including Mike, you know, being grateful the way MMA was grateful when Stephen A. Smith went over there when they were at ESPN. Because the mainstream is covering us, no matter how ignorantly the mainstream is covering us, some coverage is better than no coverage. We'll take take the fumes of whatever Michael Jordan gives us. Don Levitar.

Baker Mayfield tearing up Tampa Bay, 38 for 45.

Stugatz.

Shred 'em!

This is the Don Levitar Show with the Stugatz.

More interesting here to me, I did this once in my career. It was very early in my career. I went out to the Honda Classic and didn't want to cover the Honda Classic. So the column that I wrote off of the championship winner of the Honda Classic was "Golf is not a sport, it's a game, and golfers are not athletes." I wrote it because I didn't know anything about golf. That's why I did it. I'm like, how do I make this entertaining? What do I find that is something that people would want to read if they, like me, I don't have any interest in what it is the champion did here. I got in a lot of trouble at the Miami Herald for doing that. Like, they never said hardly anything to me about any columns I wrote about anything, but on that one I got in trouble because something that is very regionally important here to the people who care the most about that thing, they're insulted with my ignorance. They were insulted not with that I wasn't respectful of their championship, that I would be so not factual about wanting to celebrate sport that I would go out there and create a contrivance in order to not have to expose my ignorance.

Yeah. And the added trouble with that is that you lose credibility because you don't know golf and you're not a golfer, right? Like, if you were— let's say you're a 5 handicap golfer, you play golf all the time and you still don't think golfers are athletes.

At least you have that layer of credibility to say, Hopefully this ends with Stephen A. riding in a hot lap going 190 miles per hour and screaming, making good television. And it's good attention for NASCAR. And I think that's where it's probably headed. I— he's an entertainer. He knows two sports. The guy's paid like $40 million and he talks about two sports with authority and everything else is kind of spackling and entertainment. And NASCAR is benefiting from being part of that spackle. They should put AC in the cars.

I was wondering. Slows it down.

Slows it down, guys. You can't have a condenser in there and the filters and everything. You got to have it streamlined, buddy. Lean.

What if they— what if their race is early in the morning and they're like, windshields all like, yeah, condensation everywhere?

Yeah. What if they got dancing swords? They got to do something in the car. What do you do?

They crap their pants.

Yeah, there you go. Solution. Another problem solved.

I think I've asked that more— that question more of race car drivers than anyone who covers racing. I believe I've asked more than a dozen drivers whether or not they've gone— had to go to the bathroom.

They do have these fancy suits that have cooling systems in it with cold water, but oftentimes if you watch a NASCAR race, you'll hear on the broadcast, like, oh, this person's cooling suit has gone down, so he has to do this. He has to raw dog 140 degrees in, in this car.

And the cars are not comfortable either because they're so aerodynamic, because they have to be very light. Go ahead and put it on the poll though. Should NASCAR drivers have air air conditioning? And should NASCAR drivers have music in the car, be able to, you know, definitely play, just play music?

Like, the mental drain that those drivers go through is insane because, like, you're, you're the— imagine the concentration, the, the angles that you have to navigate. You have someone door to door, you have— you're inches away from someone. And I had one of these for the first time. I put on one of the headsets to listen to what the drivers listen to Basically, you have to learn a whole new language because I don't know, I don't understand a GD word that these people are saying over these radios. But there is constant communication. There is constant input going into their brains.

I was—

it was dizzying. I was exhausted.

It's funny to hear Mike say that because what he's reminding me of when he says that is when we did Freedom, 24 hours of content. Mike had a bit of an air traffic control in his headset for 24 hours. And Kate Fagan, a lifelong journalist, took the headset on and put it on. And just from the things being said into those earphones, she took it off so immediately that I thought her ears had been electrocuted. And it was just a bunch of people talking with controls. People have no idea how death-defying focus will drain you in a race, in a race on a racecourse where if you make the wrong move, you can be paralyzed. No matter how safe they've made the cars, I know that these crashes are now safer than they've been because you don't get a ton of death, but what they're doing is spectacularly dangerous that can damage their body with a wrong move for the rest of time.

They have— they have— I'm sorry, Chris, they have a millisecond when they know a crash is coming to let go of the wheel, because if you're holding on to the wheel when you're in one of these crashes going, you know, 150, 60, 70 miles per hour, you'll break your wrist, you'll break your hands. Really? So you have to bring your hands back back. Why are you shaking your head yes like you're an expert? Because I was watching it. He told me about it.

All of a sudden, hey, Talladega, they're the Talladega.

First off, did you see the 24-car pileup?

No.

Okay, well, you know what they did when they zoomed in on the cars? The guy literally went like this, like a mummy. He put his hands over his heart. What, what's your reaction when you're about to get into a car accident? Your body will tense up. Well, if you tense up, you risk even greater injury, so you have to go against your, your human DNA, basically. And let loose and hope that the equipment has you.

It is funny, the visual, though, of one car driver just like singing some pop song, like riding along. Yeah, it's funny.

Or listening to the Greg Cody Show podcast.

That would be awesome.

While going 160 miles an hour.

Listening at like 1.5.

Yeah, it'd be great. Wouldn't it be great? I think it would be.

Sounds like you're doubting your opinion a few seconds after having it the way that you did on the Reuben Bain draft.

No, I mean, Denny Hamlin. Picture Denny Hamlin. And he's about to— he thinks somebody's going to intentionally spin him out, and all of a sudden he's hearing me on a podcast. Very good.

Listening to Yeti's long-winded question.

Oh my God, don't get me started on that.

I use scissors every day. I don't have them in the junk drawer.

You use scissors every day?

That's crazy. No, you don't. You don't have— I use every single day. The regular scissors, and then you have to have the kitchen every day. Oh, the kitchen shears.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. My kitchen shears are in where the knives are.

They're not in the junk I have animals, so I have to open up food. I have to feed animals twice a day. With scissors? Yeah, that's how I open up food.

You're not an Alpo man? You got a can opener on there?

I am not an Alpo man, but the scissors— put it on the poll at Levitard Show. Do you use scissors every day? And also put on the poll, do scissors go in your junk drawer?

Your pets are definitely going farm to table, right?

Yep.

The meals that your pets are having are certainly better than the meal that I had last night.

It's gourmet meat, but no fennel for Sparky. Uh, my, my wife right now as we speak is at the zoo. She's presently at the zoo.

She's taking animals back to your house? What's going on here?

She's a huge animal lover.

He's got animals.

Your dog has a chef.

We— well, we have a farm. We have a— we have We have a farm in our home.

They're actually— the zoo's yours. Yeah.

Why does your canine have thoughts on paprika?

Uh, he is allergic to paprika. It's blueberries and gourmet meat.

It's more of a time guy.

It's why his coat is— it's why his coat is, uh, so sleek, because he is a well-taken care of, uh, animal.

These are real things you're saying?

Uh, yeah.

I didn't have shallots.

What about the tape measure? A tape measure, it goes in the junk drawer.

Yeah, he wouldn't eat orange the other day. He loves my popcorn though. There are very few things he's allowed to eat. He's allowed to eat like 4 things.

I prefer this zested. Thank you.

He likes it pecan encrusted.

Wow.

Pecan encrusted.

He pronounces it pecan. Fancy.

Bad to feed dogs nuts.

I shouldn't have done that. I should have just, I should have just lied there and kept pecan encrusted tilapia is what he, that's what he requested.

Farm raised or wild caught? This is, man's dog. I prefer a light sear on the tilapia, which is— I mean, let's be honest, it's a poor person's fish. Yeah, bottom feeder at best. We go high-grade salmon, farm-raised, the whole— with a little couscous on the side. Tilapia is a trashy fish.

It really is. It's below catfish, sea bass.

You guys pecan and crustaceans. And what, what did you want me to do? I didn't know, I didn't know that the fish wouldn't be fancy enough for the dog. Tilapia was just a funny word to me. I'm not a gourmet.

You think I am fancy? You should see the cat.

Speaking of sea bass, Kendrick Perkins has had some thoughts on the Heat's whale hunting.

We keep hearing about them going big fish hunting, but they just keep getting sea bass. What does that mean?

Oh, he made me laugh the other day doing the SportsCenter hit. He says that when he went like, they were, they were on their ass like jean pockets. Oh, he was talking about Kyrie. Yeah, he was on their ass like jean pockets.

Sea bass.

Sea bass is a good fish.

It is a good fish.

You go to any restaurant, $40, $50, $60.

If it's Chile, everything in every restaurant is $40, $50, $60.

Tell me about it.

Not the tilapia. No, no, the dirty fish. Dirty fish.

Oh, is that a squirrel?

Squirrel, come hither!

Put it on the poll at Le Batard Show: is the tilapia a dirty fish? Uh, Chris Cody, uh, the ABS challenge. Uh, can you—

thank God.

Uh, what are you thanking God?

Just that we finally got to this topic. I've been wanting to get to this.

Why are you—

because I knew as soon as you said ABS. It's the best ABS challenge of all time last night. Did you guys see this?

No.

It's at the Reds game. Now the Reds, they give away— if they get 11 strikeouts, if the Reds strike out 11 people, they get free pizza for everybody. So we're in the 9th inning. They're at 10 strikeouts. The count is 1-2, and then this happens.

Just missed. ABS Challenge powered by T-Mobile. The catcher has challenge to call a ball. Stevenson's 1-1 tonight. Can he win pizza for those in the stands? The crowd ready to burst.

That's a strike!

Pizza for everybody! Oh my God. That was Cincinnati.

Cincinnati?

Yeah, Cincinnati seems to be like a leg up on everyone else in the majors as far as the ABS. Like, they love the ABS Challenge system. They're doing a good job there. That's kind of like a World Series.

Yeah, they're amazing. Their team is fun. I don't think people generally understand what the allegiance is to that team. Nothing has made Cincinnati feel as good as a sports team than that baseball team did in the '70s. They're good for the first time in a long time.

Aren't they the oldest team?

They are. And their fans have a rooting interest and hope that goes back to their grandparents.

Pizza? Heh heh heh heh. That's a poor, poor dish. We prepare a flatbread with prosciutto and then some oregano, extra virgin olive oil, When is Cincinnati ever good at anything in sports? This Eli De La Cruz. Eli De La Cruz. Come on. He's the first major leaguer since 1900 with 10 or more homers and 8+ stolen bases before May.

He's a freak.

Stone plate with foie gras. Perhaps some pâté. And to finish off, a little dinner parfait.

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Hey, it's Mike Ryan, and I want to talk to you about the random midweek hang that you have with your friends. Maybe it's an NBA game. You get a text, hey, come over, you wanna watch the game? And maybe you're like, ah, I, I don't know. I kind of just wanted to stay home. And then you think about it after your buddy hits you up and you know just the thing that'll make that regular hang, that regular midweek hang around the basketball game into a special time, into a Miller time. That's right, this happened to me just last week. I grabbed a 6-pack of Miller Lite, said I was on my way, and next thing you know, we're arguing about rotations like we're on the coaching staff, yelling about a missed call, and the game's coming down to the final possession. It was one of those nights that you look around, you take a sip, and you think, yeah, this was the right call, and my friendship's stronger for it. Cheers to legendary moments with Miller Lite. Great taste, 96 calories. Go to millerlite.com/dan to find delivery options near you. Near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer.

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