Transcript of DAN'S DOG IS HOMOPHOBIC? | Postgame Show (feat. JuJu Gotti) New

3, 2, 1.

Hello, Papa.

I came as soon as I heard the charcuterie board was out and the crostini and fig jam was laid for your boy. Oh, Papa, right there on the ear. Yes, thank you. What are some of the finest cheeses this dump has? I saw we laid out the finger foods for the, the The poor? Yes, yes. You and I are different. You and I dine on the finest of pâtés. Who's that old guy? He smells like another dog.

So, uh, Dan said that Zazz should take the cuck lane, and that inspired a song for me.

He is a bonneted man living in his old mansion. But he's upset with his house, 'cause his couch is stiff and as deep as a canyon. So it's tabloid time, no doubt. Laments his brand new reputation as he eats tabloids. Wants people to stop sending pictures of hotel rooms. His name is Juan Felipe Cristo. She was in despair, she said, "Honey, while we fuck, you go sit in that chair." Life in the cutscene, Sas watches from the sidelines. Life in the cutscene.

Cut. Catchy little ditty. Now remember, for Chocotory Tuesday, we adhere to the 3-3-3 rule. These are the rules in place for your traditional balance board. 3 cheeses, 3 accompaniments, and 3 starches. Your classic Rusted Assorted Crackers. Yes, Rusted Crackers.

Bring Juju aboard. Juju, how you doing today?

Good to see you. Good.

Juju, can you as a Celtics fan admit that your team is so dull to watch?

Yes, I can also admit that this loss will not matter on Judgment Day, so we can start there. But at the same time, right, everything I've said about the Celtics all year, it has come to pass. And the Buffalo Bills, might I add, but neither here nor there. It's just that their in-game adjustments are ass. They're non-existent. Brothers, we don't have it tonight. Maybe let's drive in and get some of those fouls that they're calling, and they just don't do that. So it's— I can definitely feel you and, and agree with you saying that, that they are a frustrating team to watch, bro.

This feels so good, Papa. How was work? Did you chew on important societal issues?

Are you wearing a Horace Grant jersey?

Yes sir, man. Still, still got it going on.

Wow, look at that, a Horace Grant Orlando Magic jersey.

Good call. Yeah, I had it since I was a baby boy. You did. And my last name is Grant, so a little Juju helped me out.

A little Juju wearing it.

At what time today do we do the infrared masks?

Juju, you got a burn of the day for us today?

Yes sir, man. We all know that the Oklahoma City Thunder swept the sun out of here, bruh. And Shea Gildress-Alexander took to IG and said this: Everybody wants to be a villain until the brooms come out. And the dust settles and you realize who the villain is. And he said that under a picture of Dylan Brooks with on the back of his jersey, it said Cancún on and his number 3.

So good.

Perfect troll job.

It smells like corned beef hash over here.

Do you think Cancún likes, you know, being the place apparently that everyone goes to when their season ends? Like, they must know that we always get referenced. Apparently all the players come to us to take a leak.

I don't know.

It doesn't help the resorts at all.

Nice little pee-pee before cold plunge and aromatherapy. Oh yes, Papa.

Also today I got some, some post-show awards today for the, for the crew, man. Like, bruh, y'all boys been firing on all cylinders today. So I first want to give the We Owe You an Apology Award to Greg Cody for that More three-pointers than two-pointer situation.

Good job, Greg.

Thank you.

Good idea. Good idea.

Thank you very much.

Clapping is distracting me. Am I a good—

I also want to give the Courage Award, the Purple Heart Award, to our good brother Mike Ryan, fighting through shingles. Oh my goodness gracious alive.

Yep, he looks very handsome still. No, no one can notice.

And our lastly, I'd like to give the Hypocrite Award to our good brother Dan Lebatard. You know what I'm talking about great, Cody.

Yeah, I do.

Thank you.

Congratulations. Wow.

All right, uh, let's get some polls for today, Juju.

Yes, sir, man. Scrambling for these polls while I, while I pull them up. Did you see what Paige had to say, you know what I mean, about her relationship with AZ? It wasn't hard. That was easy, Dallas Wings organization. Yep. Let the players speak and they'll give their answers. We, we have to— as a WNBA fan, I've realized that I'm guilty of this as well. We have to stop treating the WNBA like a movement. It's a business. It once was a movement, but now we got business things to handle. So we got to understand that from the top to the bottom and let these players be professional. They got it. Neither here nor there.

No cheers. Is Junk in my Açaí Bowl?

Is Junk a good name for a pitcher? 73% of the audience says yes, it is.

I'm allergic to cashew butter.

Can you call it a mansion if you can't afford a couch? Ouch. 88% of the audience says no, you can't, Zazz.

Dang.

I like nut milk.

Don't like nut milk. Not allergic, just don't like how it sounds. It's suggestive. Icky.

Are leather couches uncomfortable? 66% of the audience says yes, they are.

Strange thing about me that I should just volunteer here is I'm slightly homophobic. Now, my papa does have to correct me and tell me that's inappropriate, but you cannot teach an old dog new tricks. I am— all right, I'm not even slightly homophobic, I am all the way Do you think of the junk drawer as a positive place?

57% of the audience says yes, they do. Is there any other type of appendectomy than an emergency one?

I see one and I start barking. Hey, all right, send it.

86% of the audience says no, there is not. Damn. Do you know what an appendix does?

And yes, I can tell.

76% of the audience says no, they don't. Salute to the audience, keeping it real. Should NASCARs have air conditioning? 84% of the audience says yes, they should. Do you use scissors every day? What in the hell, Dan? 78% of the audience says no, they don't. Is the tilapia a dirty fish? 72% of the audience says yes, it is. Have you seen change in the last 6 years? I've seen it in the White House.

Nice.

84% of the audience says yes, they have.

Good. Right there. Yes, Papa. Who's the cock over there?

You know what's— last poll. You know what's interesting about tumors? 79% of the audience says no. And those are your bows.

Where are the Goji Berries?

Thanks, Juju.

Good stuff. Thank y'all. Good cuts on Jeremy. Thank you.