Transcript of Dan Reacts To Greg Cote's Miami Dolphins Apology | Local Hour New

Cody's coming hot today because I just asked him if he apologized in his column for his draft day reaction to what the Dolphins did, and he said, "I didn't apologize. I was wrong, but I didn't apologize." And then it escalated to the point where he just dismissed me with a middle finger and said—

No, that was a different subject.

It was the same area of conversation, but he dismissed me before the middle finger by calling me you just said of me. You analytic freaks, right?

Yeah, you all get carried away with dissecting everything. Like if I tell you that, well, the Heat, the Heat were second in the league in points scored this year, a fact, if it's a fact, I got to check that. I think they were second. And then you're going to dissect it like, well, you know, that, that, that, that, that doesn't count.

No, no, no, it's not that, that, that, that, that. You wrote in your column about Riley and Shula, you said after an awful, embarrassing playoff exit 2 seasons ago, the Heat improved by 6 wins this season and had the highest offensive rating in club history.

Right. It's a fact. Uh, well, but Jack, thank you.

Uh, Cortez says it's not a fact. He writes in the notes that, uh, he decided to write to your column because every time you write a column— Zazz used to do this— he's got criticisms, he's got critiques. Every time you write a column, this is what Cortez wrote after what you said was the highest offensive rating in club history. This is just made-up bullshit. The Heat were first in offensive rating when LeBron was here. Cody doesn't know the difference between offensive rating and pace and points per game. And you called him and me, you analytics freaks.

Yeah. And I think I gave a middle finger to Cortez, not to you. I want to make that distinction. Look, I can't get internet right now. You guys mustn't pay your electric bill. But if I could get internet, I would look—

We all have internet here except for you.

I don't have internet. Look, I'm trying to look up something to verify my case. And this is a conspiracy. I think Cortez has arranged for me to be offline right now. If I were to be online— oh, look, here it is right here. Okay. Offensive rating. This is basketball-reference.com.

You're online again.

It's pretty reliable. Offensive rating, an estimate of points produced or scored per 100 possessions. This year they had 116.7, the highest in club history, the highest rating they ever had in the Big Three era with LeBron. Was 112.3. Now you can spin that and say, well, that's offensive rate. That means this because that— I'm just going by pure numbers here. No, what I wrote was accurate.

No, but the part that's not accurate because the analytics are just numbers and they require context to two things that aren't accurate here is you're not accounting for pace of play. They have the highest pace in the league. They were not the most efficient team in the league. And also you're not accounting for general offensive explosion all over the league. Everybody's better at offense.

Yeah, but, but only one team was better scoring points than Miami. Look, I'm not apologizing for the season they had. They weren't good enough, although they would be in the playoffs had Bam not gotten hurt against Charlotte. But nevertheless, they're not good enough. I'm not saying they were.

They wouldn't have gotten into the playoffs. They would have lost to Orlando. They would have— It's too early for this shit from this guy. Stuff him in a locker.

Move on.

In Greg's defense, Offensive rating does adjust for pace.

Thank you, Billy.

Thank you, Billy. I mean, I wish I'd have said that. He's right. It's adjusted for pace. I don't know what you guys are talking about.

Billy's right that you're right?

Yes. Orlando Pace.

Billy could have said it's adjusted for anything there and you would have ran with it. Zigga! This is the Dan Levatorre Show with the Stugatz Podcast. I feel pretty alone here because I'm surrounded by people who want to talk about hockey and basketball, and none of them stayed up to watch Jansen Junk outduel Shohei Ohtani. None of them have watched the last two Marlins games against the Dodgers. They should have beaten them two times, right?

Should have.

If they didn't always spend money on relievers who are gas cans. What is the Fairbanks situation? I'm not going to be able to get you guys to talk about this at all, right? I see everyone just drift off the moment it's a late night baseball game and Ohtani's pitching and he's still a freak. Like, I don't care how common you think it is to see somebody going out there throwing 100 pitches, striking out 9 guys. He's not. He's an He's an outfielder, baseball player, infielder. He could do— he could probably catch. And my guess is that there haven't been any players in the history of doing these things, not Rick Ankiel, not anybody who could pitch the way he pitched yesterday as a position player.

Remarkable. But he's been doing this for some time and it's not all that odd to see him pitching during the regular season. It is odd to see Connor McDavid on the brink of elimination. And so that's not odd. In terms of— not odd. Well, in terms of sports priorities, that's something that happens less often.

There was so much last night. We had multiple NBA games. I was flipping back and forth on my tablet, of course, in the Zaslo Mansion bedroom, and I was also flipping with the hockey. It would never occur to me to put the Marlins on.

When you're—

when you got Jansen Junk on the mound?

Are you kidding me? Get the hell out of here.

11 straight scoreless innings for Jansen Junk.

There's one thing interesting about the Marlins right now, in my opinion. And it is that the fact that the Phillies and the Mets suck so badly, a combined 20-38, firing managers, that opens up wide the NL Wild Card race for the middling teams like the Marlins, where if we can get lucky and be 4 games over.500, maybe we have a chance to make the Wild Card.

We?

Journalists?

I'm speaking as if I'm a fan or the Marlins.

I can't do this in April. It's April and you're talking about almost May.

Okay. But the part that I'm just— I understand that you don't want to do it on the Marlins. Ohtani pitched yesterday against the Marlins, got his first out, strikes out 9 guys. Now, there are other interesting things about the Marlins, including that Junk's going to make a hell of an ace once they trade Sandy midseason because they are going to trade Sandy. Like, I think that's pretty much guaranteed.

Yeah, they would have last year if He hadn't sucked.

Uh, but that's a bad name for a pitcher, correct? What?

I think it's a great name, Junk.

You know, being a junk ball thrower is like a good thing.

Put it on the poll at Levittard Show. It's not a good thing. That means you don't throw hard.

Greatest junk ball thrower? Jamie Moyer.

Uh, put it on the poll at Levittard Show.

Craig Lefty's still cracking it.

Hard to hit junk.

Uh, put it on the poll. Uh, Junk. Good name for a pitcher, bad name for a pitcher.

Dan, I think you're doing a thing of like generations past where like bad meant good, but good meant bad, and you're like, what? Why is everybody saying everything's bad? Because it's good.

Well, junk doesn't get to be good. Junk is junk. Junk.

I've heard it in a positive way. Like, oh, that guy's throwing junk. Tough to hit.

Yeah, tough to hit junk.

I think that junk is a slur for a pitcher. I don't think pitchers want to be known as junk throwers. Are they changing? When did that change? No one alerted me to this.

Time that these guys are, they really do harder now. And it's harder to see a guy that just throws junk. But it was not a negative thing. Now, if a guy's last name was Hanger or Meatball—

Jansen Hanger, that would stand.

Meatball, it's tough to put in a positive light, man. That guy threw the meatball.

The Braves have a bummer.

I will say, yeah, Aaron Bummer, who gave up 2 runs last night. That's a bummer. But I will say, like, being a junk ball thrower, not necessarily a good thing. Now, if a guy's got a good fastball, you tell him to stay away from the junk because he throws 4 or 5 different pitches. Now that's where you could be using junk in a positive connotation, which is exactly what you would do with junk.

Junk is a slur for a pitcher. Junk is an insult. It is pejorative for a pitcher. I have not been notified otherwise. You mentioned the Phillies. Don Mattingly managed his first game for them yesterday. They got their first shutout of the season. But you guys don't want to talk about any of this. You saying you're toggling between games. This must be very frustrating to you because you are a multi-television per person. You have bragged about the fact that you are somebody who's watching all of these games. You don't miss any playoff action. It's on all your televisions, but once you're relegated because of your wrestling habit to having to hide under the covers and watch the tablet in bed, it's harder to toggle back and forth on an iPad. You're going between games, but you don't have two games up at the same time, do you?

No, no, I don't. That is an issue, and I will tell you where the issue stems from, okay? Because I need a little bit of help, because in the Zaslo Mansion family room, I got the multiple TVs, of course, so I could watch multiple games, that's no problem. But when I watch on my tablet, it's obviously because I'm in my bedroom and my wife doesn't let me put the TV on, so I'm watching on the tablet, uh, you know, on my stomach. Everybody knows that by now. Here's the problem. You may be saying, "Zaslo, why aren't you watching then in the Zaslo Mansion family room where you have multiple TVs?" Dan, I don't like my couch anymore. That's a problem.

Can't you get a new couch? Shouldn't you get a new couch?

Yes, but, you know, my wife rightfully points out Couches, especially good ones—

expensive—

are very expensive. And she sees it as, there's nothing wrong with this couch. She's like, we just got done paying off this couch, you know? But I don't like the couch anymore, so I don't want to watch in there at night. At nighttime, I want to be comfortable. This is a very big problem. I want a new couch.

You gotta get a new couch there.

I know!

You gotta get a new couch.

He's more of a chair guy anyways.

Don't do that. It's not true. And let me tell you something else, alright? People, you listened to me when I said stop sending me hotel room pictures with the empty chair. So you know what people are doing now? They're sending me pictures in the hotel room where there's like a stage. There's a stage that people apparently are watching on. That's not me. I would never get that hotel room.

I would advise you—

Stop sending me that.

I would advise you, in the modern media age, you see everything is collapsing, right? Sports media isn't what it was. No media is what it was. No one has the cuck lane. It's not taken by anybody. You adamantly denying that you're a cuck.

I'm not a cuckold.

It's also a lane nobody else has in the national sports media, the one that you have. But if you'd like to take it a step further, you're a wrestling fan. If you want to do the heel turn into full cuck, the audience is already treating you as if you are.

No, no, I will never be a cuckold, all right? One time, one time, Billy Crystal showed up in my dream. It wasn't real. It was a dream.

To be fair to Zazz, no one has that lane, being a cuckold. But also, no one has the lane of constantly having to deny being a cuckold.

I put him in both lanes, and I'm saying if he wants to take it further as he evolves and grows in the modern age, it's already something you're associated with as much as Falwell's kid.

100%. When you hear the word, you think of Zazz.

That is true.

Anytime I see the cuck chair, I'm like, "Zazz." That is such bullshit.

And you know what's the real bullshit? You are glossing over the real problem here. And the real problem here is, how do I get a new couch?

Call up Tim Couch. He'll give you some advice. Somebody had to say it.

Horsh, horsh.

Yes. Oh, I forgot. I wasn't supposed to hear that.

You are supposed to hear it. It's your inner monolog. You're the only one hearing it. You don't engage with it. You just— and it does sound a lot— this guy trying to explain the inner monolog rules. It's funny. It does sound too much like my inner monolog, I think. I think we need to have some range between yours and mine because it could be confusing. Keep applying pressure to Zazz to have someone take his wife for content. Uh, Zach— Zazz, from what I can tell about his sofa situation— from what I can tell about Zazz's sofa situation, he's not in control of anything at home, even buying his own sofa, which has to do with his personal comfort so that he can watch the games, which is about the only thing he cares about in the world. Like, you have to be able to overrule your wife there on that one thing. Like, you can, you can take advice everywhere else, but you're working so much at this point that you should be able, after a year of work, to have the couch that you want so that you can enjoy the games and not have to toggle back and forth.

Yes.

That's not the way to watch any of that last night, going back and forth. You need both games. You need all the games on at the same time.

I shouldn't have to lie in my bed watching in the dark, total darkness, watching on my tablet, switching back and forth between like 4 games that were going on last night. I want to be in the Zaslo Mansion family room on a brand new couch. And you know what kind of couch I really want, Tony? I want one of those deep couches. You know about those deep couches?

You want a deep couch?

Looking like a little kid with your legs up in the air?

I want— yes, yes, I want my legs to be dangling off the couch.

So you got a shallow couch right now?

Yeah, got like a regular shallow.

Is it hard? Is that what you don't like about it?

It's leather, and, and let— like, leather looks good, and people hear leather couch and like, ooh, that's fancy. I got news for you, it's, it's not comfortable. Leather couches are not comfortable. They're not good.

Can you call it a mansion if you can't afford a sofa?

No, it doesn't do the affording, okay? Just because you can afford something doesn't mean that you go out and do it. You have to respect the dollar, Greg. You need me to tell you about respecting the dollar?

I don't respect the dollar.

Clearly! No, well, because I— because I'm respectful, alright? I respect the dollar, and you don't just spend all willy-nilly. But I need one of those deep couches!

But Zazz, in the playoffs, you gotta suck it up. Everybody's expecting you to watch the games and be ready and knowledgeable about these games.

Oh, I am sucking it up!

No, I'm sucking it up as going down to the leather couch and sitting your ass there and watching all the games.

I need new couch.

You can rent a couch.

Rent a couch?

Oh, rent a couch. You can do that.

How about a sectional? How you feel about a sectional? Uh, put it on the poll at Le Batard Show. Can you call it a mansion if you can't afford a couch? And also, are leather couches uncomfortable? Because I don't think leather couches are uncomfortable. That's not, that's not something I, I, it's not something I've even heard before, and you guys are agreeing about it casually, and it's legitimately not anything I've heard anyone ever say.

You're supposed to melt.

Into a leather couch. That's— yeah, leather couch.

So what's happened? How long—

they can get sticky. They can get a little sticky.

How long have you had your couch?

Uh, maybe like 4 or 5 years. It's enough already.

Okay, so you're tired of that couch. Although I do want— 4 or 5 years isn't a long time for a couch.

I know.

That's a, that's a relative novice as far as couches go.

That's the problem.

Hey, it's Mike Ryan, and I want to talk to you about the random midweek hang that you have with your friends. Maybe it's an NBA game. You get a text, hey, come over, you want to watch the game? And Maybe you're like, ah, I don't know, I kind of just wanted to stay home. And then you think about it after your buddy hits you up, and you know just the thing that'll make that regular hang, that regular midweek hang around the basketball game, into a special time, into a Miller time. That's right, this happened to me just last week. I grabbed a 6-pack of Miller Lite, said I was on my way, and next thing you know, we're arguing about rotations like we're on the coaching staff, yelling about a missed call. And the game's coming down to the final possession. It was one of those nights that you look around, you take a sip, and you think, yeah, this was the right call, and my friendship's stronger for it. Cheers to legendary moments with Miller Lite. Great taste, 96 calories. Go to millerlite.com/dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer.

It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories. And 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

Going for 2 when you're up by 5. Switching the zone when man isn't working. Oh, and building your new stadium in the state your team actually plays in. In sports, some things just make sense. You know what else makes sense? Drinking Jägermeister shots. Ice cold. Drinking it any other way would be like punting on first down! Or letting your worst hitter bat first! Or like going for 2 when you're down 3 with a second to go. It wouldn't make any sense. So don't let the team down when it comes to Jägermeister. Drink it cold or don't drink it at all! Jägermeister.

Damn, that's cold.

Drink responsibly. Jägermeister Likör, 35% alcohol by volume, imported by Mast Jägermeister US, White Plains, New York.

Dan Lebatard.

This guy comes in as the next Wayne Gretzky. His nicknames include the Chosen One, and McJesus. Okay, he's a great player, he scores a lot of goals, he scores a ton of assists, but it hasn't translated to making Edmonton a powerhouse in the league.

They're in the final.

Stugatz.

What's your nickname for him?

McOverrated.

This is the Dan Levatar Show with the Stugatz.

How did you get tired of it though? You— so did you have anything to do with the selection of it?

Yes, of course. And it's one of those It's like, ooh, you press this button and it reclines. And it's like, ooh, this is a fancy leather couch. And it's got the cup holders and it's got the charging ports. I got taken away with all of that stuff. And the reality of it is I don't need all that bullshit. I need a deep couch that I can just chill in and my feet can dangle.

No, I have a fairly new couch and it's got that recline and it's got the cup things and it's just—

How old is your couch? Your couch is old.

No, I got it. We bought a new couch.

It's probably a year because Charlie ate his couch.

He ate my old couch.

Jumpin' Charlie ate his couch, so I gotta get a new one.

I need a new couch, man.

Yeah, I'm gonna start a GoFundMe page. All right, so that Zazz can afford a new couch.

Not about affording, but I will take free couches.

We get lifted around like a pharaoh.

Dan, I did make— because you mentioned junk, you besmirched the word junk— I made a top 5 ways the word junk is used positively.

Okay, but it's not on a picture, and we can do that in a second.

I mean, It is in here.

You don't know that.

All right, let's see what we've got then. Top 5. Let's go.

Number 5, junk ball pitcher.

I invalidate your list and don't want to hear the rest of it.

Oh, number 4, junk drawer.

A junk drawer.

Everyone loves a junk drawer.

Get out of here.

What are you talking about? Junk drawer.

It's where you keep the batteries.

I'd love to look in your junk drawer.

I don't believe Dane has a single ally in this room.

You got to have it. You got a tube of ChapStick, you put it in the junk drawer.

A junk drawer is positive.

Paper clip.

It's got stuff you need.

Uh, alright, put it on the poll at @labattardshow. Do you think of the junk drawer as a positive place?

Now follow me on number 3, 'cause you're gonna dismiss it right away, but I have an argument. Number 3: junk mail. It organizes the mail I don't need. Yeah.

Okay?

If not, my mailbox would just be chaos.

Nobody likes junk mail.

No, I know, but it's— I'm appreciative of the junk mail section. The junk mail folder is really what you're saying. I don't ever look at it, but it's just like, I'm glad it's there. It's just getting all the crap out of the way for me. Number 2, junk food.

You got me there.

I mean, number 2, huh? You got something better than junk?

Oh, I know what number 1 is, baby.

Tony, fist me.

Junk in the trunk, buddy.

Junk in the trunk.

Fist this bump.

Yeah, yeah.

I want to read from Greg Cody's column here because I can't believe what he did. Uh, I am really stunned that on Thursday of last week we did a live stream and we had the reaction that we had Uh, to the overreaction, dare say. I don't think it was an overreaction.

I come to realize it was, hence my column, which you can read at MiamiHerald.com. Go ahead, Dan. I didn't mean to interrupt your flow or your show.

Yes, you did.

The Miami Dolphins had a chance to get someone I could argue is the best pass rusher in Miami Hurricanes history. I might get an argument from you guys, but I don't know who'd be arguing this one vociferously.

Hall of Famer Ted Hendricks would like a word.

Okay, and fair enough, a Hall of Famer from the 1970s, and Reuben Bain would have to do a lot in order to be what he was professionally. But I have no qualms saying that since I've been watching Hurricane football, this is the best pass rusher that there has been. From the edge. I think Warren Sapp getting pressure up the middle was lunacy, but from the edge, this is the best I've seen. They passed on him to take an offensive lineman when they have done a lot of drafting of offensive linemen to not excite the fan base and never been able to block anybody over the last 25 years. So Greg Cody, in the fifth paragraph of his most recent column, Dolphins New GM Earns Trust on Proctor—

not my most recent column, but continue. My most recent column was the, the one about Pat Riley chasing the ghost of Don Shula and trying not to end his career so futilely and so disappointingly.

Where's my click-click?

Go ahead.

It's weird for you to interrupt your own inner monolog. That's, that's a little weird.

No, I always listen to my inner monolog.

How about Canard Lang?

You weren't listening to your inner monolog. That's why you interrupted your inner monolog. This is in Greg Cody's column. The start was inauspicious. Well, no, the instant reaction to it made it seem that it was. I'll admit I was part of the parochial knee-jerk opinion in the moment that Miami should have selected available Miami Hurricanes edge rusher Reuben Bain, and therefore anyone they chose instead would be an awful pick. I was wrong.

Yes, a man of integrity.

Yes, this is a good segment. Keep reading. And I'm glad I've waited a couple of days until the draft was over and the dust had settled to write this. So you're admitting you're wrong even though nothing has happened in the last 3 days to change your— in the 3 days between those 2 opinions, nothing has happened that is different. You just had one opinion in the moment and now you have the opposite opinion 3 days later when nothing has happened.

Okay, the only thing I regret about what you just read is using the phrase "dust has settled," which is a little cliché-ish, which I try to avoid. Um, look, I I felt the way you did in the moment initially because my first reaction was surprise. I didn't think that, that Bain was going to last that long. I thought he was going to go to New Orleans a couple of spots earlier.

Hence the disappointment. Hence the reason for the disappointment.

I wouldn't say it was surprise as much as disappointment, but the two sort of were hand in hand. Since then—

There's no objection to this pick if Bain's not available. There's not a real objection to the pick.

Okay, some people might have mentioned Caleb Downs, the best safety in the draft. Draft they could have had.

There was some, and like the Saban comments, uh, Caden Proctor was a bit of a flawed prospect despite him being—

okay, for what it's worth, and this is anecdotal evidence, um, Mel Kiper Jr., who researches the draft like nobody else, had him going exactly 12th.

He's a first-round pick. Nobody's disputing that. Look, I don't think the reaction was what you normally get in these circumstances when something's a reach. That's not what this was. Nobody's objecting to this because it was a reach. Everyone agrees this is a big, strong, physical person who's first-round pick who deserved to be in the top half of the first round. The reason people are upset is because somebody who's local, who's available, who we've actually scouted for several seasons because all of us have watched him play— it's not just watching one Alabama game where they throw a screen pass to this guy and he runs it, you know, toward the goal line.

Yeah, I don't want my new general manager to make a popularity contest of this and, and, and earn the easy applause by taking who he thinks the fans would want. There's a reason that the NFL waited until the middle of its first round to draft Reuben Bain, and that is, whether we make fun of it or not, the short arms gave pause and, and told some teams that maybe how great he was in college will not necessarily transfer to the NFL. When I considered that possibility, and when I did more research on Caden Proctor, which is largely that he's not only, he's not only a behemoth, but he's extremely quick getting, getting out of his stance and into his blocking mode.

Did you not know this when you were doing your research on mock drafts for your Xactos and your Zagatos?

I did, but I didn't consider it as fully as I needed to. I had him going number 17 in my mock draft.

In terms of physical freaks, OK, we talked yesterday about the fact that there's a dude from Nigeria that the Eagles just drafted even though he's played no football in his life. I just don't even understand.

Tony, my 8th round idea would hit.

I don't understand. He's stacked. How much catching up he must have to do when other guys have played 8 years of football and he's just strong and athletic.

Dan, he's 6'4", 306 pounds and runs a 4.63. You know what you tell him?

You—

guy with the ball, go get him.

Dan, the 8th round, you only select players who've never played football. Literally Everyone's on the board.

It does seem like we're taking Brooks Austin's take and just flying by him.

No, but—

It's like he's even probably sitting back being like, "He could be good, actually." Look, Brooks Austin did say it.

Look, I'm not doing actually what happens all the time around these draft picks where you just grab someone's opinion and parrot it. All season long, Proctor was talked about in just about every Alabama game. They were talking about him. He's in the backfield. They do strange things with him because he's giant. His trait is he's giant and strong.

He was somebody that broadcast would focus on. He was hard to miss. He had a real good stretch of the season, but also it's not like that loss at FSU people didn't notice him. He was a turnstile in that game.

I'm telling you, the 8th round starts one day you're a schoolteacher, the next day you're in Dolphins camp. It'd be wild.

So just what I'm used to, just so that you guys know where it is that the local regional, um, the resume locally, what I'm used to being taken if it's an offensive lineman with that pick is Bryant McKinney. And what that looks like in college because no one gets a sack on it. Like, not in practice, not in, not in, not in professional football. No one ever can get past the guy on the left side. That's not this guy. Like, if you were not watching Alabama this year, Ty Simpson was viewed the way that he was because he didn't have enough time, because this guy was— this particular guy was promising but not very good. Like, he was okay, first-round talent, but got blown by all the time. Artone is good.

Okay, first-round talent Strong, uh, behemoth, and quick. Those are some assets that the Dolphins really liked, and I can see why. Something else is that he's 20 years old. He's not fully developed, and they think they can develop him. Another thing they love is versatility. He was a left tackle. He can play right tackle. Right now, the Dolphins list him on their depth chart as the starting right guard. The other thing is, if you take a year to develop this guy Okay, if you take a year to develop him, you only increase your chances, which are already pretty good, that you're going to get the first-round draft pick and maybe get Arch Manning.

How can you be wrong already, 3 days later, about what your initial opinion was? That's what— I don't want to actually argue this again, too late for that, obviously, but how can your opinion already be wrong? How can you be admitting— your wife would love for you to this easily admit when you're wrong. You do not. Admit easily when you're wrong, and the entire time I've known you, how and what changed that made you, other than Homerism and just hearing these people talk, it's not like you broke down film, you read what other opinions were other than Brooks Austin's and those opinions swayed you.

Like, did you feel bad?

For who?

For your reaction. Like, did you feel like you made the kid feel bad based on your reaction?

No, no, not at all. Look, my reaction Thursday night when I was doing my live mock draft in the other room over here, I had about 10 to 15 seconds to write what my reaction was, which I've already discussed. In the moment was, wow, I am shocked they didn't pick Reuben Bain. That was my reaction. Okay. And I reconsidered that because I researched it further. That was a very fast sped up first round. I didn't have any time. I'm not making excuses here, I'm giving you reasons. The Herald wanted me to instantly create and publish a poll on how most people felt about the first round pick.

It sounds a little bit like excuse-making.

No, it doesn't. It isn't. Because I'm explaining, I'm going behind the scenes to explain part of why I didn't have much time to think about it.

You're saying that the draft expert for the Miami Herald was so shocked by what has happened that he gave the wrong opinion. That's what you're saying?

No, no, I'm not. I— you're putting way too much weight in a live mock draft review.

What I'm putting weight on is you're saying I was wrong.

My opinion was written fully 2 days later. It was published online Sunday and in print Monday. Okay, you can read that. And look, you've been yelling at me as long as we've known each other that I never admit I'm wrong, and now when I do admit I'm wrong, you're all over my ass about it, which I don't appreciate. I just can't believe it. You're a hypocrite, okay? You gotta take it for the truth it is when someone admits they were wrong. Nobody in journalism does this. You should be giving me credit, okay? My initial opinion was very surprised that they didn't take Reuben Bain And then I had to research how good Caden Proctor really is, which I did. Okay, you can continue on this subject. I'll continue to talk about it as long as I want to.

Look into this camera right here and apologize to the Miami Dolphins for you being so shocked by what they did that you had the immediate wrong opinion. They shocked me.

Apologizing about a draft grade. That's pretty funny. Like, we don't know who's right or who's wrong.

He's apologizing. That's what's hilarious about this.

Don Lebatard.

All right, we got to go back out there. That was big.

Wake him up. Oh, he doesn't want— he doesn't want to be bothered anymore. Now it's getting tense because he didn't need that. As a result, he needs something that happens.

Yeah, you can see him mother effing out.

Can we bother—

are we bothering you right now?

Turn on your microphone.

My microphone's on.

Stugatz, paint the scene.

The paint the scene is I gotta go to work. Good night.

This is the Don Levitar Show with the Stugatz.

Cannot be the environment that eschews someone being emotionally mature enough to take a couple of days, revisit their initial take, see the Dolphins draft in totality, which I think might be the best argument altogether. Yeah, we have our feelings about number 1, but look, they got some pretty good players in this draft. Recognizable players. I love the Rodriguez pick. I love the Bell pick. I think when healthy, Bell, you can make an argument, might be the best receiver in this draft, or at least top 3 in that class.

Kyle Lewis, the linebacker from Pitt.

Like, they got an edge rusher, certainly not of the ilk of Reuben Bain, but they did address set need. I think the best argument is, yeah, we didn't feel great about trading the third, but they got a good player, one that people felt really strongly about out of San Diego State. When I look at the draft as a whole, I think it deserves us trusting them, even though we got off to what, what seemed like a rocky start.

I'm telling you, I'm, I'm looking at some of these couches, man. There's so much more room from the front to the back.

You want a fabric couch?

Yeah, yeah, I want it to be soft, and it's just, they're so, they're so deep. You have a dog? Yeah, I got two dogs.

Well, that, that's gonna make the fabric couch a little tricky.

Well, I just need to get— it just needed to be a dark color.

It's just a little bit more work.

You're gonna say urinating on—

thought you're gonna say a couch cover.

Urinating? You don't train your dogs.

A dog will urinate on fabric.

He's right about that.

They will.

Excited pee when they run around because someone shows up.

They just start peeing on my dogs.

And a cat will use the, uh, the, uh, cloth couch as a—

I don't have a cat. Scratch post.

Buy a cat.

Yeah, but you can also get one of those like rollers that gets the scratches out of those felt couches. It's really a benefit. You can get it on Amazon, like, you know, $19.

Some of them are so damn—

but it's like, I don't want to get that's actually cheap, you know what I'm saying?

Cat hating Zazz. Mike is exactly right. You're obsessed with how much greater Reuben Bain is going to be than Caden Proctor. Everybody else in America has moved past that but you. The Dolphins had a good draft. They had the most picks in the league and they hit the positions they needed hard. They drafted 8 different positions.

They need all the positions.

They needed 4 more than most others and they hit those those four hard.

I actually think more positively about them taking at positions they didn't need because they're just going for best player available, which is what you should be doing when you're in the spot the Dolphins are. They took two linebackers in Rodriguez and Kyle Lewis when you could argue their bet— their most deep position was linebacker.

I will grant you guys, okay, that real leadership risks unpopularity, and their hello to this market as the new leaders of an entirely fumigated building was to do something that was unpopular. And, uh, Proctor may be good, and Bane may be good. It— that part doesn't even matter to me, honestly, because all of us are guessing there. Any of them can get injured. This is all pretty random. What you don't get is what this team doesn't have, which is a local guy that people just care about, who's available, who makes plays, who people have been watching for 4 years or 3 years before he gets to the pro team. This team has nobody you care about. The fan base does not have an emotional investment there. To me, that's worth picking him at 11, even if it's 4 picks early, because all the time these businesses are in marketing and they could use the help, and it was the easiest help and it was gift-wrapped for them.

Okay, if I may help you out and provide a counter, because I think the Dolphins should have picked Reuben Bain. I think they'll regret it. I thought it was funny, but that was not their introduction to this market. Their introduction to this market was purging the team of Tua and bringing in a quarterback when there was an active market for this quarterback, a quarterback that we all need to evaluate to see if we have him at that price and he is good. That is a great contract and that is a great job. So how do you ensure Malik Willis pans out? You don't help him with Ruben Bain, unfortunately. You help him with guys like Caden Proctor.

That's another factor I made in, in the column you're maligning, is that this is going to be a running team. Okay, this is a running team with Devon Achan, and for a change, they have a mobile quarterback. Okay, they're not going to be throwing the ball 30 times a game. And so to Mike's point, an offensive lineman with this kind of upside is going to be more valuable to your identity on offense.

It's a good point. If you expect to be winning in the next 2 years. I think they're going to have a lot of work to do with this fan base emotionally because they're not going to be winning for a couple of years.

But you just drafted a 20-year-old lineman with astronomical upside who's going to be your stalwart blocker along with Patrick Paul when they are good. They're planning for when they are good, not just to get through the next year.

Yeah, but that part's confusing, right? Because they just signed a young quarterback to a short contract, by the way.

Okay.

So that means they're essentially giving himself a small window.

They're giving him 2 years. It's 2 years he's got because they've got— it's a 3-year contract, but essentially with the guaranteed money, this is a 2-year experiment that they have to figure out whether they can be a winning team with Malik Willis, which I think would be a lot to expect, don't you? Because I thought that the over-under— I don't know whether this was before or after Malik Willis— I thought the over-under was 4.5. Can you check DraftKings for me on that? Like 4.5.

The last time I looked, Arizona and Miami were at the bottom of the over-under on wins at 4.5, which means whether they like it or not, they don't have to tank to be bad. The Dolphins.

I would argue that there have never been lower expectations on a Dolphins season than the one that's approaching. I would also argue that I would bet the over on every single team to win more than 4.5 games. I know that that's not possible, but I would bet that over every time. That is such a ridiculous number for a team. They're not interested in winning this year. Like, that's— they're, they're interested in building a new team, they don't have the players and cannot develop the players fast enough to have that be a winning team.

Flores, his first year, right? Like, this is the only year that rivals that as far as winning expectation.

I mean, you had what you had before that season where people were saying this is going to be a disaster. I don't think it was even as low as 4.5. Nobody knows who plays for the Dolphins. Like, it's a, it's a nobody team.

Like, who's, who's playing wide receiver for realistically?

Well, Malik Washington. Okay. And probably Chris Bell.

Okay.

So you're fresh off an ACL injury who's getting drafted wide receiver before Bell too.

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

But with that, how do you get a good read on what Malik Willis—

Tutu Atwell would like a word.

Okay.

Tutu Atwell, who runs a great 9 ball. Okay, great. The problem is if you're going to say he's running, this is going to be a running team, they're going to run the ball 30 times. How do you have a good evaluation of a guy?

That's not something that you just go over and pass by with Tutu Atwell. He runs a good 9, 9 route.

Out.

That's what Malik Willis does best.

Agreed.

But that's a good asset.

Oh, you're being serious? No, no, I thought you were joking.

No, Tutu Atwell does the 9 route. That's what—

that's what he was talking to Tony thinking he was joking. Not— no, no, I'm thinking he was joking.

No, he runs a great 9 route. Like, that's why he's still in the NFL. But to the point that Greg was making, he's like, all right, this wants to be— this franchise wants to be a hard-nosed, run-the-ball franchise and figure out what they have with Malik Willis. But how do you do that with inexperience on the outside?

Okay. Obviously, they're in as major a rebuild as they've been in, in my memory. They spent a combined 12 to 15 years with— under the spell of Ryan Tannehill and then Tua Tagovailoa, two quarterbacks who were just good enough to always make you say, are they good enough? Neither one was good enough. Okay. They finally realized that. The reason that you never heard of anybody on the roster is that the onerous Tua contract, which they're still stuck with and trying to get out from under, prevented them to sign anybody. And with that in mind, getting Malik Willis was a big deal, okay? They got a quality quarterback who instantly moved above Quinn Ewers as their starter. He's going to be a good stopgap quarterback for a couple of years while they get decent. And, and the bonus might be that they get the number 1 or number 2 draft pick next year and, and get Arch Manning.

Wouldn't you say though, wouldn't you say that because they signed Malik Willis, wouldn't you say they're desperately hoping they don't have the number 1 overall pick because they would hope to not be drafting a quarterback next year?

I think if you can get the— they realize they're in a major rebuild. I, I think the bonus— I'm not saying you intentionally lose, but they may not have to tank to be good.

But they're not hoping they draft a quarterback with their first pick next year.

I think they might.

No, uh, they— no, they— you don't give this guy this money unless you expect— I don't think he's a bandage. I think they love his deep ball numbers and they're going to build something around him. He's the guy that—

see, uh, they're not giving him major money for a quarterback. They got him at a pretty economical—

paying him— look, you can't do it that way. They're paying more for quarterback next year than any team in the league, the way they suffer through the salary cap of Tua, right? Like, they're— they've got the worst money spent in the league at quarterback, even if he's a bargain. Like, that's, that's bad money. It's the reason the rest of their team's not going to be that good. The thing that I wanted to get back to though, off of the column you wrote, because this took a contentious turn, and I did not mean for it to.

Yeah, you did.

No, I did not, because it's funny to me. I will ask the question again because it's so funny, and in the review of it, you were so shocked by what happened in your initial reaction to them passing at Reuben Bain that a lifelong football expert got hazy, got the wrong opinion, and then does do the laudable thing a few days later and say I was wrong when nothing changed except your You did research and emerged from your shocked haze. That's amazing.

No, it isn't. I think you're amazed enough to keep repeating it and try to get me embarrassed or get me to apologize or something. I'm not. I do neither. And to finish my other thought, the only thing that changes then—

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Lean further away from the microphone. That's good. Further.

Further.

All right. Now deliver your point.

See, Meyer, this is the new and unimproved Dan Levitan Show with the Stugatz.

Gamble on by DraftKings. Hey, it's Mike Ryan, and I want to talk to you about the random midweek hang that you have with your friends. Maybe it's an NBA game. You get a text, hey, come over, you want to watch the game? And maybe you're like, ah, I don't know, I kind of just wanted to stay home. And then you think about it after your buddy hits you up, and you know just the thing that'll make that regular hang, that regular midweek hang around the basketball game, into a special time. Into a Miller Time. That's right, this happened to me just last week. I grabbed a 6-pack of Miller Lite, said I was on my way, and next thing you know, we're arguing about rotations like we're on the coaching staff, yelling about a missed call, and the game's coming down to the final possession. It was one of those nights that you look around, you take a sip, and you think, yeah, this was the right call, and my friendship's stronger for it. Cheers to legendary moments with Miller Lite. Great taste, 96 calories. Go to millerlite.com/dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer.

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