Transcript of Alley Oop 146: Kyrie Irving vs a Robot, Bulls Ruin the Cavs & Knicks Take the NBA Cup

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This is why I love you, too. This is what I saw on Dan's show today. This was everybody else. Does Mama want to work with this? Or does Mama want to work with this?

We look like the-Black Power. Your activists at the Olympics.

The kids are in the M-I-A-O.

Slangin' gay-o. To get my mayo.

It don't look like it right now, but we are actually in the same building, in the same area code. My sister is in the plush, you feel me? And I'm pretty sure people are drawing whatever the hell they want to put behind me. Screenshot us in our comments of what creative thing, besides private parts, you can put behind me in this scenario. It's going to get probably nasty, just like the fans be. A salute to you all. But, yeah, let's get creative. Who can put the best stuff behind me this week? But neither here nor there. How are you doing since? Juju, have you seen that?

I'm phenomenal. Have you seen that woman that's on TikTok that does... She tries all the TikTok creator cooking trends. And she's like, Everybody's so creative. Everybody's so creative. Now you just put a turkey inside of a marshmallow, and then you put it in the microwave because that just sounds amazing. Have you seen her? I can't wait to take this to the next family reunion.

I also want to remind the audience that we have a phenomenal, phenomenal cast here that it's hard to put into words sometimes. But our staff, Ms. Rebecca and Mr. Dylan, has come up with, what is it called? A sub stack page for the kids, man. Come on, man. If you got there, subscribe to the kids' sub stack. What's the sub stack, sis?

Alleyupeshow. Com.

Come on, Man, you got to know, get updated. Now who they want.

Now who they want. Do, do, do who they want. T, quick.

I don't know the one. Yes, sir. Man, let's get right into it, man. The New York Knicks have attained a championship in God's Green 2025. How do you feel about it?

I don't want to besmirch, but I will say they were down pretty much the whole game team. And Wemby, who looked like the best player on the planet just a few days ago, we found out, looked like there was something wrong with them, Juju. And then I was like, Oh, he's mourning. His grandma, she just passed away today. And everybody deals grief differently. Sometimes you play better, and sometimes you go into Shooketh Mode. And clearly, Wemby was shooketh because he didn't look like himself. He was playing less minutes, and I don't think it was the injury. So to that, I say congratulations to the Knicks for capitalizing. But I'm not giving you all the credit in the world like I would have if Wemby was going beserk.

Yeah. How do you feel about them deciding not to hang a banner up in Madison Square Garden?

To me, that's the right We can't hang a cup banners. That's like we're putting... Like if Jalen Brunson wins Eastern Conference MVP, like in the Eastern Conference finals, we're going to put that up as well? No, we're not doing that. We're not taking these trophies and these banners and putting them next to real banners. And honestly, if you're the Milwaukee Bucks right now, if you're the LA Lakers right now, you need to take notes, okay? We're not going to be just accumulating meaningless accolades and putting them up to real accolades. 8. What do you think?

I disagree slightly because I think that there should be something. Banner does take it to the extreme. And with the Knicks, the audacity of them when they got a Harry Style's banner in their auditorium, sold out how many shows in a row for a weekend, seven shows. That's a banner in New York right now. Okay, banner police of New York. We don't need the banner. Take that Harry style banner down then, damn it. But I do I think that they should put at least an insignia or a little logo on the court. You feel me? Yeah. Buy the logo. Just a little gold star or something that says, okay, cool. Well, this season, the rest of the season. That's a good idea.

That's a good idea. Like a little star with the year inside of it. Right. So every game. Like a star with a 25. And then you see, next to the Knicks logo, till the end of time on the corner or near it in the middle of the court, you have a star with the 25 logo on it.

Yeah. Or even if it's just for the rest of this year. So every pitcher snap, every LeBron last shot, all that, you're going to see on the court in season tournament champions, not here nor there. We're going to put something up there soon. But hey, you got to step across the Championship sign when you step on the threshold of the MSG. You feel me?

Or even like a trophy in the middle of the court for the rest of the year. Or a fake banner in the middle that says, IST Winners 2025.

But there's a plaque of something. Something. I do think it's important, though. I go right when the whole world going left on that in-season.

On the jersey would be nice, too. Like a little patch on the jersey.

Yeah, something, because it's not nothing. Yes, it's very new, so the popular thing always to do is trash what's new. You feel me? But at the same time, them boys getting extra half a ticket. Them boys getting 500 Plus for winning that game. So tell them, Rickies on New York, that this don't mean nothing. Who doubled their salary in one day.

Can we put some respect, Juju, on our man, Tyler Kholik? Because this guy was on the trade block. They're calling all these teams to just move them for nothing. And other teams are like, Yeah, no, I'm good, bro.

I'm good.

First of all, Marquette Tyler Kholik is that guy. He had such dimes, such the ability to put pressure on the rim, a nice little smooth jump shot. To me, those type of players, it's only a matter of time. Like Colin Gillespie, When he didn't work out right away, especially the white ones, the white ones that come from these high pedigree programs, point guards, it takes them a minute, okay? But the IQ is there, the shot is there, even with Jalen Brunson, it took a second. And so I think you don't need to discard them right away. And now 14 points in the finals game and really meaningful points down the stretch that got them the dub. What you think?

Yeah, I think he wanted it more. You feel me? He just wanted it more. He was like, Look, man, I'm going after that lose ball. I'm getting in your drop screens as soon as you take the ball out. You feel me? He was out there with more of a dog in him than some of his teammates because he saw that check. Him boys saw that check. I'm like, Uh-uh. This ain't regular, bro. We in Vegas, too. Speaking of Vegas, though, but speaking of that game, Mr. Beck, I know I'm putting you on the spot, but Floyd Money Mayweather was courtside at this game. And you know Mayweather's always putting on. You feel me? That's his name. His nickname is Money Mayweather. So you got to know what you're getting into. His partner in them called the Money Team, man. You know what you're getting yourself into. But he was sitting courtside at the game next to Blue Ivy He and Jay-Z, pulling out bankrolls out his bag, unrubber banding on and counting them next to Blue Ivy, or peeling off. He giving money to the lady in the back. Who was that? The concession stand lady or whatever?

Must be.

But do you got to peel off this big brick just to give her her money, bro?

That's crazy. No, that's crazy. That's something that'll get you jacked. I'll tell you that. You better come with your security. It was almost like he tried to hand it over to the girl, two over for one over from Blue Ivy. And she didn't even literally, Juju, like being in the bad neighborhood, it's not your first time in there. She was all straight ahead. Don't look left, don't look right in the periphery. As soon as Quoic is next to you, you just Probably Hope was like, Hey, he's going to try some wild stuff.

Right. Little sister player. She's like, Yeah, I see. That little money, you know what I mean? Nothing to me.

I had that for my eighth birthday.

You've been on courtside. She might have been with him. I don't know who the little sister is, but she would definitely cool as hell to me. Yeah, she was. Well, yeah, come on, Floyd. You're pilling out bankrolls in front of all them folks. I know he ain't going to get no trouble for it because his security go crazy.

How much money is that stack, if you guys had to guess?

Dylan, our money specialist, come on, turn your camera on.

20k, 15 to 20K.

Look, if Dylan said, I know it's 20K, bro. All right. It's 20. Yeah, as the expert, as someone that's bundled of those in his closet right now, but still pays for rent in Glendale.

Walter White over here.

But look, if you know where Dylan live, do not try him because you will meet the security at the lawn. So play with Dylan if you want to.

At the lawn, at the moat.

At the moat. All right. Moving I know.

I think it's only 300 bucks, and he's got some chocolate bars in the middle. That's the way I would do it.

Look at him, Ms. Rebecca.

You mean he cut out money? It's like the book. That Lily is in the book, it just holds a gun in the middle of Exactly.

It's all for his money. He got 100 on each end. It's $200 plus 75 ones.

We're going to get a memo from Floyd Mayweather threatening to sue us for slander, given that his middle name is money.

Right. He's like, I spelled my name out with a billion dollars one day. Come on, get off my back. But moving on. This won't be talked about a lot because who talks about these teams? But this game meant something special to I circled this game on the calendar a couple of... Damn, a couple of months ago. Now, we know the Chicago Bulls have not been the same since the crossover.

Since the Josh Getty.

Right. Herd around the world. So last night was the rematch, the get back. And the Chicago Bulls hadn't won the game since Thanksgiving. That's a sentence. They hadn't won a game since Thanksgiving. Before last night when the Cleveland Cavaliers said, Let's Let's do it again. And the Bulls pulled out the dub. Now, I happened to think the entire time, and damn near no, the Bulls not losing that game. Out of all the games, I know the Bulls are ass, but they ain't losing that game. The game that's sitting them down the spiral, they weren't losing that game. What you thought about that game, since? Did you even care to tune in?

Listen, here's the thing. Deandre Hunter was the one that sent him into the death spiral, right? Put him into the... What do they call They sent them into the other place. There's a name for it.

The upside down.

They put them in the upside down. You had fake snow coming down like it was the Dolphin Mall right there. And Josh Getty never returned. He had all the Vecnas inside of him. The DeAndre Hunter, though, has just really not been the same since that moment either. It's almost like they've been inextricably linked in a bad way. Now they're saying DeAndre Hunter needs to come off the bench. Do we have a highlight here? Did he have a good moment that maybe is a non-sequoiter? It seems like it is.

Damn, bro. Deandre Hunter, okay.

What are these jerseys?

Right. Ass on ass jerseys.

What are these jerseys? Oh, my God. Mediocre junk on. These are heat jerseys.

You're right, bro. Because I was like, Man, why is you besmirching DeAndre Hunter that one time I tried to get him props? Yeah. He's been bad. The proof has been in the damn putting, the banana putting.

If this is the highlight of DeAndre Hunter having a monster jam over Jalen, I was like, I don't even remember this dunk.

Bro, he don't remember this dunk.

Because it was a regular ass dunk. Moving on.

It was so regular. But yeah, bro, the boys got the dog. You feel me? The Cleveland Cavaliers, though, to stay there. Bro, you all boys need to get something together, man. You all might need to put a package together for my boy Dawn, the Dawn, Donovan Mitchell, because dare I say, this ain't looking good. You can't be losing to the Bullets, bro. I don't care. Last year, you all was number one. I don't know if it's Jared Allen. I don't know if it's your boy, DeAndre Hunter. I don't know if it's D. Jules or Darius Garland. Somebody got to get shipped up out of Cleveland, bro. What's you're thinking?

Things all went down when they left. They traded George Neang, Bang, Bang, Neang, traded Kaaris Levert, and got of Ty Jerome. Those three guys in the rotation have been more meaningful than, say, a DeAndre Hunter, than, say, Alonso Ball. These moves, although I understood them when they made them, Juju. I just don't think it's really worked out, but more so, you've got injuries abound and ones that I do not see happening. I do not see them getting fixed. Evan Mobley, out for a minute. Jared Allen, out for a minute. Darius Garland, back, but still not really back. Donovan Mitchell, we were applauding him for taking less shots, being less of a ball hog in a good way, and putting the team first. This is an offense that spreads the sugar around Juju. And now it's back to be in the Utah Jazz, Donovan Mitchell show again. And I'm going to tell you, I know how that story ends. It ends with a trade request. It ends with getting bounced out of the first round of the in the playoffs, and it ends with us, me, and unfortunately, Juju as well, be smerching you.

Damn. And that's that on that. Kyrie Irving has made headlines yesterday After... This is a real sentence. After getting into it with a robot. Did you see this?

After vicious- There we go.

That's more likely.

And sending said robot who was not even doing anything to provoke Kyrie, he sent him to the upside down.

Absolutely. Roll it, Ms. Rebecca. Look at him. What is he even thinking? Look at him. What is he even thinking? The dad is basically a robot showing off for the Mavericks. He like, Oh, look what I can do. Hey, Kyrie, you're my favorite player. Jay 5. Oh, no, Jay 5 down. Bro, what in the hell is wrong with my dog, Kyrie, bro?

What is he thinking, bro? He thought I could just push him and it would just get back up. He just popped. Oh, that was so fun, Kyrie. Oh. He's like, Let me see what this robot could do. My apology. I thought I could push him a little harder. Oh, my God. It's a good I'm saying it's not 2021 when Kyrie's image was the lowest that it's ever been. Kyrie's been on a heater. Oh, it would have been over. He would have been out of the league. Stephen A. Smith would have been on first take being like, My brother Kyrie Irving, it's time. We're assaulting robots.

We can't besmirch the kid. Let's not besmirch the kid, Stephen A. Here, bro. But you're right. My boy would have let him have it. Come on, bro. This is how you know Kyrie, know he messed up. Why is he picking him up? Because he's trying to do stuff that don't even make sense that will work, bro. You know good and well, you picking up that damn robot, ain't going to bring him back to life.

He's trying to triage like he's part of the EMT crew, like he's part of the tech. Look at him, he's picking them up, dusting them off. What?

Get up, Keen. Come on, champ.

This came out of nowhere. This robot is doing all kinds of cool stuff, and Kyrie smoothly comes over, looks him up and goes, paf.

That's messed up. Right, all the time. So you can tell the a lot, and he want no smoke.

If you rewind the clip a little, the robot actually looks scared when Kyrie's approach to the little steps.

He's stepping back.

He's like, Whoa, sir.

Oh, no, no, no, no, We're on TV. I've never felt bad for a robot before, and I don't feel bad for the robot.

I'm contrary to that. You don't feel bad? For sure. Hell, no. I feel bad for Kyrie. Because look, you think that robot is finna forget? You think AI intelligence ain't going to spread that around? Like, pluribus, every robot on God's green earth going to have this information. So Kyrie.

You'll be like, Welcome, Kyrie. Hello, Kyrie.

I'm scared there. You just scared me. We got a segment here at the Alley that we like to call, Boy, Stop. Moy, Stop. Ms. Rebecca, what you got for us today?

Well, the first thing I want to play because I thought it was just freaking hilarious is your video, Juju. What I like about grandmas is they don't give an F. They don't give an F about anything. And I hope in another two years when I become this old-Oh, my God.

Come on, bro. Two years? You got to put more than two on it now. You got to put E4.

I hope that I am this woman. Let me just say. Here we go.

Grandma walking across the bachelor walk.

She's shuffling. Why? She's shuffling.

Why? It's like, nothing wrong with it. She's just walking across the- In the middle of the game, bro. Wait a minute.

Never stop. Mama got to get across the course. She got to get there.

Bro, grandma know she wrong, bro. Ain't no way in hell.

Listen, I'm in joy waiting for her on the other side. She got to get to it.

Oh my God. Bro, grandma, I'm going to block the shot, man. Look at...

Hold on, pause it. Go back 10 seconds.

Mute, Mute, bro.

He going too crazy. Go back 10 seconds. All right, so pause it now. So he's like, the white kid had the layup that she obviously deterred, and he's like, the F is this?

Sorry, the F is this? What is she doing? Imagine being that little kid, bro, you just stole the ball from little bro like, Oh, yeah. Cookies. This is my chance. Fast break, finally. Abuela, what in the... Oh, hell, no. Time out, bro. Tic.

The thing is, she didn't even Like, stutter step like the robot did. Like, didn't even make... She just walked. She slowed down right there just to let the traffic pass.

That's what I'm saying, bro.

But then just kept on going.

Bro, I'm going to grab my ass, bro. Hell, no. She knew what she was doing, bro. Ain't no way in hell. I know around right now, you could have got her confused. But once you've seen Foke, you got to give us at least a, Oh, my bad, you all. Put your hand up. No, she did. She did one hand.

She did put her hand up.

No, it got to be up more intentional than that. You got to fair catch that hand. You got to be like, You got to make the referee see it. It's on me. But Salute to Mom, Grandma. Salute. Thank you for at least supporting the game of basketball. But at the end of the day, walking your ass across that court during the play? Girl, stop. Stop. What's next, Ms. Rebecca?

All right, so this one, I think I want you to both take aside. I think I know where you stand, but I just want to say, is this Is this okay to do with friends? Is this okay to do? Here we go.

I'm saying that. I'm saying what? No, watch out. No, no, no. Watch out, though. You just messed your shit.

Watch out.

We may have to go... I'm saying it. I'm saying what? No, watch out. This is what I'm going to call you. I remember this. Watch out, though. The truth, I'm going to have my hands put on. Watch out, though.

Do you let your friend share the food off your plate?

Go ahead, Tristan.

All right. All right, so here's the thing. I know what the right answer is, and I know what my answer is. Yeah. And the answer is, I saw Juju with a fruit plate that he got for free from the hotel. If it was anyone other than Juju, I would have opened up that cellophane, baby, and grabbed me some blackberries, grabbed me some lychee fruit. But because it's Juju, and I I know how he has boundaries, and he wasn't even going to eat it. He told me specifically, I'm not even going to eat this. I knew that we don't have... I think he'd let... No, you know what, Juju? Juju brought Shake Shack through, and I grabbed a fry. I grabbed a fry. I think he was done with the fries, but I grabbed the last fry. How did you feel about that in the moment?

I shared it with my sister. Look, I have no problem with that. As long as it's my people, let's go. It's I have no problem with it, literally. Now, when forks and spoons and straws get involved, mix me with it. I don't want you. I don't know what you was up to yesterday afternoon with that brother or that sister. You can't have nothing from a spoon, but at the same time- Oh, same spoon.

If it's another spoon, it's cool.

Yeah, you can get your own spoon once. One dip in there, though. Once it go in your soup cooler, over with.

So we couldn't share a banana pudding?

I mean, let me go ahead and get mine first. You feel me? And then go ahead, go crazy.

I don't do anything, really, Juju. My mouth is clean. I can tell you. Other than these curse words.

It's just as clean as Ali's mouth. You know, doll's got the cleanest mouth ever. I looked over at Tristan. Look, they didn't say, her and Ali got a good relationship, her and doll.

He goes, We're standing at the Ross or whatever, Marshall's, wherever we're getting some white I'm like, Oh, Ollie. And he's all in my nose. Juju goes, Get a room. He said, I don't care that you're hoeing. You got this dog over here. He's probably licking his red rocket, and you're letting his little mouth into your nose and mouth. That's probably the most Caucasian thing about me, honestly. I let my dog kiss me in the face.

Moving on, Ms. Rebecca, what else you got for us?

That's a boy stop to me, honestly. I think that's really what we learned from this segment is the boy stop.

We came boy stop.

So I wonder, should you fight with whether That you don't come from, that weather that you don't understand.

Okay, what's this about to be?

He's like a little... I would call him an amateur meteorologist. Here we go.

Okay.

In my neighborhood, it's snowing in Southern California got some snow, and it's beautiful here. It's coming down.

Okay.

I'm an untrained meteorologist. Untrained? Reporting on the snow. I mean, it's in the streets. Oh. Damn. On the snow. I mean, it's in the streets.

Damn. Damn. That damn. We need to cut that damn and make drops in the middle of the podcast. When I do something bad or Juju says something mean or whatever, it's like, damn. It's in the streets. Damn.

I was two seconds away from saying, Ms. Rebecca, what the hell is this video?

She knew what she was doing.

I was looking at him like, this video is about to end. There's nothing here.

I laughed out loud when I saw I'm like, you got to be kidding me.

It was amazing.

Bro, that's funny as hell, bro. Like, great- It's in the street. Damn.

You can fall down from it.

Oh, my God. But you can see the CTE that he got instantly through the phone.

I don't know if you guys saw my photography. Sometimes I get my friends to video me when we're hanging out. I don't make juju do this, but my friend was riding his bike with me and trying to video me, and he was doing it with one hand while trying to get going, started. And I'm like, Yeah, the thing is, Justin Bieber, and he just pow. And then there was a laugh. You could hear me chuckle at his misfortune. Then it's like, One with thousand, two with thousand.

Are you okay? But that is the thing, isn't it? Because falling is always funny.

But if it's somebody you care about, you got to have an are you okay in there. You have to. My bad. Or you're going to break up. Are you okay?

Yeah. Right. And before we get out of here, we got unrival season coming up, man. Finally upon us. Wnba got drama on drama. Ms. Alex just reported that the league is now open to a strike. They can strike if necessary now. So I mean, lot going on with the W. But the Unrival League is in full effect on January. And you already know the kids going to be reporting live on that. You got to know if you don't know already. And Vino is my squad. No matter what, I don't give a damn about none other than nothing. I'm putting my flag down. I'm choosing a site. I know we got Pace this year. We got a lot of exciting- On Breeze. You feel me? On Breeze. We got in a league where Tasha Cloud and Tiffany Hayes, my favorite player ever, is literally on the same team with the miss. It's not enough, man. That's my second favorite team, but I'm rolling with the vinyl, man. Like, bro, beat Erica Willer, beat Courtney Williams, beat Ryan Howard, man, beat Ray Burrell, beat B Juzel, Brittany Griner, and guess who else? D. Erica Hambeck. Come on, man.

You already know what's going on. If you see me, this is what I'm about this year. We getting that chipped this year, too. We almost got it last year. But hey, man, locking in. Who your team, sis.

I'm team Breeze. I'm team get the baddies. Tim, get the baddies. A bunch of girls that will take your girl and your guy and get buckets in the meantime. If you don't know who's on that squad, just look it up and you can see, yeah, Show She'll take your girl. She'll take your girl, she'll take your girl, she'll take your guy and your girl, and maybe turn your girl out.

Take my down, girl. You stay a hell away from my down, girl. I know that part. Not here nor there. Come on, man. Vyno, I see you all, man. You all got to know, ain't nothing going down this year without me supporting you all, man. And speaking of support and nothing going down, this show can't go down without the support of every single listener that's listening right now under the sound of my voice. Whoever and wherever you are, we thank you so much, bro. Any last words before we get out of here, sis?

Love Juju, love Miami, love Unrivaled, and most importantly, love Ms. Rebecca Dylan and the fans. Without you all, what the hell are we?

You feel me? Lock in with us next Tuesday. Same bad time.

Same bad channel.

Lock in. Go vinyl.