Transcript of INTRODUCING: I Need You Guys with Gabe Liedman, Jenny Slate and Max Silvestri (w/ Sean Hayes)

I watched Blair Wish last night.

Oh my God.

Why?

Oktoberfest.

Okay, I saw it when I was... I've seen it a couple of times, obviously, over the many, many years. I saw it as a kid in the theater, thought it was straight up real and like, shit myself with fear. It's so funny to grow up and look back at that because they're such an improv troupe. The acting is so... Really threads the line between naturalistic and just totally an improv troupe. You can see it now as an adult.

I don't know if I've ever seen it. Too scary. Let's watch it, Jenn. I can't.

It's not real. We can get that out of the way. Because imagine watching a scary movie and thinking you might be watching actual footage of a death in the woods.

You remember how the had all the snot?

I know. That's what everyone really latched on to. That was real booger. That was real.

Of course, that was real. Because she was so scared.

They didn't have a glycerin budget, for sure.

We all have a glycerin budget.

It's like flying boogers. I need you to go. I need you to go.

Gabe, I was thinking of you because I know you've only seen at this point one episode of Task, and that's okay. That's correct. But I'm obsessed with it. It's also given me an opportunity to bring out back my Delco accent, which I think I'm pretty- You're Delco. Delco accent. We'll get water ice. You don't do it much, I realize. I never hear even a jokey Philly accent. I'm not saying you ever had that one, but I would love to hear it.

No, I have to put it on. I have to put it on because I outran it when I turned 19, moved to New York, I said Wooder once, got the look, and then I became a newscaster, and you don't know where I'm from. Oh, yeah. My brother says Wooder. My whole family says Wooder. I have slowly found other Philly and Delaware people who I can do the accent with.

Even Delaware brings it out a little bit. Delaware is almost a trap word. Delaware.

Delaware is huge.

Delaware?

Delaware.

But we should do one episode of the podcast where you and I do the whole podcast in a Philly accent.

I would love that.

What accent do I do?

I don't know. You have a couple of hours to figure it out because we're getting started.

You know what accent I'd like to have is the one that they had on the show, The nick. It's like, I'm old fashioned, and it was so good.

Oh, that show ruled.

That show ruled so much. Just loved it.

Do you still do coke injections in your penis, right? Me? Yeah. Yeah.

Well, I don't... Yeah. Otherwise, in the neck. It's so sleepy.

Oh, just because the FDA says it's eye medicine, it can't be penis medicine? Yeah. Get real. I have work to do.

Oh, my God. That show, it was so... It did everything I needed something to do. You know, the weird stuff that they used to do that they thought was medical, then they would do it in a big auditorium that seemed like a gym, but also an amphitheater. And there would just be the weirdest operation that was really a dumb thing to do. And then they're all doing coke and they're having sex.

Getting their nose eaten up by fucking infections.

Yeah, some people missing a face.

Oh, my God. Yeah, some stuff.

That was so good. Yeah, loved it. Fantom of the Opera shit.

For a second, I thought you were- Inside my penis.

That's where the cocaine goes.

Penis, penis. Right? That's the song? Yeah. Keep inside my penis. That's solid. Christine, my penis.

The I eat a full of drugs. It's inside my cock. Yeah, exactly. Guys, there's other...

This is when Serious XM actually eats its own poison pill and is like, We're done, we're done. We're done. We can't do any more podcasts, not even any of them.

You owe Andrew Lloyd Webber personally 40,000 pounds from that bear.

Out of these three, these three idiots get the wheel.

Get them out of there. Excuse me, Mr. Stern, we're over. We're over. And that was good.

We're over. Drink some water and get the heck out of here. We're over. Should I bring my I need you guys?

I would love that.

Okay. I got a text from our friend Lange, and it was like an Instagram story. What? No. Sure. No, an Instagram post. It looks like Mona Lisa Saperstein. It was, in fact, in the scene-Your character from Parks and Rec. From Parks and Rec. The character that I played, written by our friend Joe Mandi, where Mona Lisa is saying, Money, please, and her father is giving the money to her. But it was on the the White House official Instagram. This took me a second to be like, What is this? It was on the White House official Instagram. And under the image of me as Mona Lisa saying, Money, please, it said, Illegal immigrants. And under Henry's character, Dr. Saperstein, who's giving the money, it said Democrats. And I was like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. First of all, deeply upsetting on on so many levels to make that type of a cruel joke, and then also to be the person that somehow has included that, and it's used for just absolutely evil means, but also to be like, what should I do? It's not like, You know, Dean Cain or something, like a celebrity that I don't have the same political beliefs as is doing that.

And I can, if I want to, decide to be like, Hey, man, because it's so scary. It's the White House.

It's the actual White House.

That's psychotic. If you were me, and obviously, you're not a Trump voter, you don't believe in what ICE is doing, I think we would all agree. And also, I think it wouldn't be hard to understand that that's where I'm coming from. What would you do? And what do you think I should do?

It's so shitty, Jenny. I'm really sorry.

It's so fucking shitty.

It's so fucking shitty, first of all.

It's also just humiliating that this is the way the government does messaging. In weird, corny memes. Your work was taken out of context by a completely sinister thing. Ordinary nice, normal, sane people cannot jump in there every second with these cuckoo's. And that was my feeling to you is like, I know you don't use your social media. I know that this has been brought to your attention. And I think there are plenty of people involved in that project who are more willing to be on social media and making statements and whatever that you don't really need to open the door to people who are MAGA on Instagram and to write messages. I'm just like, that's all that would come here.

I agree. I mean, first of all, this is a podcast. It is? Yeah. Oh, shit, Gabe. This is not a play. It's a No. Oh, my God. You're not playing, Gabe. I'm wearing so much makeup. This is you.

This is your life. I'm wearing so much makeup for no reason.

I'm wearing a mask.

I made pancakes this morning to put on my makeup because I'm not very good at it. I got chocolate chips all over my arm.

That's Amelia Bedilia shit. Max is doing. Okay.

Baby corn? Yeah, exactly. Amelia Bedilia. Talk about something that is I would love to dig in. It does not fly right now. But anyway, I was like...

You can never do Amelia Bedilia now. You couldn't do it in this environment.

You can't even do anything anymore.

You can't even feed a corn a little bottle of milk called baby corn. You can't even We'll come for you.

So one thing I was thinking was like, wait, the worst thing I think is this unconscious assumption that somehow I and probably everyone has been bullied into, that it's like, there's only one place to respond to this, and you have to do it right now. Otherwise, you're not you, and you don't stand for what you stand for. So you need to weirdly get into the diarrhea pit with these monsters and fight on their turf, I have the right to wait a sec and think about where I want to respond to this in an arena or a venue or whatever, in a discussion where it's just not immediately going to be a corrupt space.

I agree with everything you're saying, which is like, it shouldn't have to be your business to do it. You shouldn't have to sing to their level, et cetera. But I do think how you feel authentically at its core Which you could quickly post and move through. It's just like, this sucks. It does suck. And it sucks in a bunch of different ways. It sucks for all the reasons we're saying that you're being coopted, your art's being coopted into cruelty, into this agenda. But also people that make good art, and especially funny stuff, they do care about. They're using your work as a meme because they think it's funny and effective, and it communicates an emotion well and memorably. And they can't do that. And so the person who made it being like, No, this sucks. And just screencapping it and moving it on. This just sucks. This is so 2011, someone's tumbler account about how they're buying a condo and doing memes where they're like, that feeling when you lock in 2% mortgage rate, and then it's a picture from the office or whatever. It stinks. It's so bad.

It's so bad. I don't feel that Instagram is the platform for me anymore. I did feel at one time, but for me to be honestly saying anything that is an ongoing discussion or a retort to something, I actually think that what I would like to do is what I'm doing, which is totally call me a big squirting dude douche, but to put it into my creative work, which is this, unfortunately. This is the squirting douche. This is your art. Our podcast. I would rather place some very succinct truths, which is like, I fucking hate that. I think it sucks. I think those people aren't funny and that they're deeply cruel. And I would rather put that in a discussion where also it's like, I'm not reduced down to anything. In fact, I'm in a three person about to become four when we have our wonderful guests, come on, we talk about it, and we also enjoy our lives, and we place difficult things in conversations.

This is actually a good... I need you guys to include our guests with today. So when we're back for the break, we're going to get input from the wonderful Mr. Sean Hayes.

Sean Hayes, one of our dad does. He's one of our dad does.

We're going to ask dad for help. So we'll be right back with Sean.

I need you guys.

You guys, this is so exciting.

You're the best. Can we just say that.

You are the best.

Great. And that's all our time. That's all I've been trying to make. Our time is ever.

That's right. Sean, I don't know if you remember this, but me, you, and Gabe were working together on Q-force in March 2020. I love that.

I don't even remember this. Yeah.

A powerful month. But I remember right before we had to go remote to make the show over some app called Zoom we'd never heard of, you were setting up this mic set up, I think in this room, and you're like, I'm about to start this podcast with friends. We're setting up so we don't have to be in the same space. And I was like, What are you wasting time on this for? Brother, we're making an animated show for Netflix. You don't need to do this baloney.

You don't need to do a podcast, buddy.

You're doing fine. I know. I I know. It really was. Ms. Marliss was just born out of the... You guys, it's like, We've been friends for 20, 25 years, something like that, and we're just like, We can't go anywhere, so let's just do this and hang out. They were like, Oh, well, instead of zooming and hanging out, let's do a podcast and hang out. Then two people listened and then 10. Then it's like, well, a balsam shampoo. Anybody? Do you remember that? Do you remember those commercials? I told they told two friends, and they told two friends, and so on. It's an old commercial from the 1970s. Shampoo, it's Shampoo, it's Shampoo.

You know what commercial from the '80s literally made me want to eat the soap? And still, when I think about it-Oh, I know exactly the one. What do you think it was?

Mr. Bubble?

No. Irish Spring.

Irish Spring? Totally.

Oh, my God. Wait, why? It just seems so good. It looks good.

Do you remember the commercial for Gleam toothpaste? No. Do you remember Gleam? She held it upside down. She's like, Meagle. And I was like, No, Gleam. Right? And then she licked her lips and she's like, what? It was so gross. But I was like, I'll try it.

That's an artistic commercial. I wish there was more stuff like that where they read it wrong and then licked themselves.

They're more playful with how reading upside Yeah, it works, which actually doesn't reverse the letters.

Right. And we shoot it in the back of an ambulance because everything's backwards on the front of an ambulance.

Well, one thing I was going to say is, so one of the things that I think is one of the cuteest things about Gabe when he was a little boy. Actually, Gabe, I thought about you yesterday because my daughter was like, Why don't I take the school bus? We live four blocks from her school. I was like, I don't know. I can't even explain this to you right now. You're four. But you don't need to. You don't need to.

A bus is like a big car, Sean, that takes kids to school, but it can be for other stuff.

I need pictures. The bus went by, and what I remembered, which is one of my favorite stories from Gabe, is that when he was a little boy, he was on the school bus going down the center aisle of the school bus, and he tripped super hard and fell all the way down, and then got up and went, Super Grover.

That was what I considered to be my first joke.

A Sesame Street joke.

Super Grover.

He had Grover on Sesame Street had a super- Yeah, had a cape. Yeah, Super Grover. What it was, was I was sitting in my seat, the bus break super hard, and every other child was totally fine. But for some reason, I When flying like a rocket up the aisle, landed at the front of the bus, everyone was looking at me like, Is he okay? I must have been like five, and I had the wherewithal to be like, Super Grover. That was a real triumph for me as a comedian. Did people laugh? People laughed. I came home and I bragged about it.

It was your first joke. That's my first joke. The reason why this is not just me having an ADHD flare up, ruining the entire podcast, is that one of my first jokes was about a commercial that I I saw on TV, and I would go up to adults for no reason and raise my hand and push my armpit out and go, Raise your hand if you're sure. Because it was.

I remember that.

I remember that. I used to do shit like that all the time.

Yeah, I was like, Everyone fucking loves me when I do that deodorant thing. I better do this.

I used to do a bit in high school where I would have a backpack on and I would open it just enough so that when I to the top of the stairs, I would on purpose, trip on the top of the stairs and all my books would go flying everywhere. People would think that was the funniest thing. I was voted senior, most likely to trip at graduation. In the line of the 2,000 people graduating, I had people like, Do it, do it. I'm like, I think I'm going to do it. I got up there and he goes, Sean Hayes, and the dean hands me my diploma. I tripped on purpose. Everybody stood up and clapping.

Oh, my God. I love it. Did It's like take down the podium, like when football players are practicing and they have to run really hard into the thing?

You know what I mean?

Yeah, exactly.

They sideswip it, spear it off the top of the thing is what you're thinking of.

I need to take that about the podium out and the principal.

Yeah, I was basically the podium.

Have you guys ever seen those videos where... I think it's a thing more in the south, where there's a day in Peewee football where the kids go up against their parents. No. Just for tackling. It's like a tradition.

Mom's only, right?

Mostly moms, yeah. There are some dads, but it's the kids are in full pads, so they're absolutely cushioned, like sumo at a climbing gym. They look like comically, and then it's just parents. Like the middleman. Exactly. And the parents just themselves just smoke their kids. So it's just their kid running and they run and it just they explode. But nobody gets hurt. You just can sense the catharsis in relief. That must feel so good. In being the mom of a twelve-year-old boy just absolutely laying him flat in the group.

Wait, that is genius. Where I thought you were going was that the kids were going to do it. The parents are all wrapped up, and the kids get to tackle the parents.

You would think all the kids have it in their head that they're like, I'm going to be the one that can take my own dad down. I'm actually like, I do football. He's an old man. And then every single one gets smoked by the parents because they're huge. Jenny, I feel like we should get Sean's input on your conundrum this week. I don't know if you heard some of it as you were coming in, Sean.

I just heard the tail-end.

Here was my conundrum. What was it? It was a fresh, I need you guys, meaning I asked them for help with something, which was that- Did you have your period? It's due on Saturday. Did you say I got my period? What do I do?

I thought you needed help with- Tampon? What do you do?

What would you guys do? Cup?

No, sorry.

Go ahead. Do you have a cup? Yesterday, the White House official Instagram, which I am not aware of, I weirdly don't follow, and I don't use my Instagram at all. It is my Instagram still, but Three years ago, I was like, I actually can't interact with this at all. It's bad for me. I know I need to have it for when I have a stand-up show or a podcast or a book coming out, or I wear a dress that someone was like, You can wear this, but you better post it if you wear it. That thing, whatever. Yesterday, the White House posted a meme that is like Mona Lisa Saperstein from Parks and Recurations, a show that I was on. I played Mona Lisa. It's me and Henry Winkler. He played my dad, and it was like my character saying, Money, please. And he's giving her the money. But underneath the image of me saying money, please, a moving image, it said illegal immigrants being like money, please. And then under Henry, it said Democrats. I was like,. I felt like Maurice Chevalier singing for the Nazis or whatever, but I didn't do this.

Anyone know what that is if they don't know my family?

He's actually my 2025 most played on Apple Music.

I love the movie That's G-shaped.

That specific concert.

Well, you know what to do, which is nothing. You don't do anything. You just let it go. I know because you feel when you're the person that is being exploited for whatever, for a missed message or whatever, and you're the face of it, you can't help but internalize how personal it makes you feel, but know that everybody on the outside understands that this is unfortunately the norm and it has nothing to do with you. You were just a pawn in their messaging. I think even Republicans, even Democrats, I think everybody goes, Oh, it has nothing to do with Jenny or-Oh, for sure. Henri. But I know it's weird.

No, I'm just kidding. Henry is the nicest in the world. The nicest.

Oh, God.

I love them. Genuine. I love them. But what about... What do you feel about the pressure? For me, I was like, Oh, I shouldn't respond to this, first of all, because the trap will work. They have a million traps to just suck in anyone for attention so that we're not thinking about voting rights or whatever. Measles.

Can you believe meesles, you guys? Meesles. Jesus Christ.

The marvelous Mrs. Meesles. The marvelous.

That's what Sheryl Hines calls herself.

Yeah, that's what Sheryl Hines calls herself.

Fuck. Damn. Yeah, that's what Sheryl Hines is called now.

Isn't it amazing? There are people in the world, in this country that have, A, the time to write nasty things, and B, the inclination to write nasty things? Oh, God. I mean, isn't your day busy? Don't you have to work? And then what does it do for you to just write these bad things? So like, Yeah, got them. And then they go on a little... I don't know. It's just I've never written anything bad on anything. About anybody. No, it feels incredible.

I mean, just take a sip from the bound. You're going to want to... Yeah.

You get thirsty for more.

Big or Diva cup fall. Yeah, exactly.

Anyway.

It's like popcorn. You're not just having one. I always imagine they are I'm busy, but jobs that are... I feel like there's a lot of jobs where you got a lot of downtime.

That is for damn sure.

Your boss is mean to you. A customer sucks. Go on there. We get a little endorphin hit by writing something mean anonymously. I think Sean's advice is the right to just let it... This is it, and let it metabolize through.

And outside of social media, there's also the weird dorky second wave of you would get Parks and Rec star, Jenny Sleep, tells Whitehouse, You suck, or whatever. It's just such a dorky next thing. It's just like everyone's fucking grow up.

Were they calling me a star? I did five episodes.

How many more were there? Because I only checked you out.

Jenny, I know the desire is so strong to when somebody does you wrong or somebody lies about you or whatever. There this incident in my life where this one thing happened and it got blown out of proportion, and this one person completely, totally just lied about me. No. Yeah, it grew and grew. All you want to do is show the receipts of like, I have this email, and I have this course comments, and I have this that would destroy this person's life in the sense that they would just have egg on their face. They're like, Everything you just said is completely not right. But on the advice, on the great advice of my lawyer and my publicist and friends and family, they're like, Don't do anything. I'm like, Yeah, but what they did was wrong. That's not right. That's not right. So just go ahead and lie. And they're like, No, no, no, no. I did that. And it still bothers me, but it was the right thing to do.

Yeah. I really had raw chicken on my hands while I got the text. I opened the phone with my knuckle. I was like, My daughter loves a drumstick. I had marinated it all day.

I would have never guessed.

Oh, my God. She loves a drumstick. She's like freaking King Arthur. She just... I made her these gorgeous marinated drumsticks.

Did you eat them as well?

I did, and I felt great about them. So did my husband. But I had made a bisque that while we were recording our podcast, actually, yesterday, I guess maybe it sat on the stove at room temp a little too long. And then I reheated it, and I mostly had that for dinner. When I say, how do I put this? I had diarrhea all night. Sure.

That's a French saying. That's a French saying.

Stop speaking in code.

Stop picking in code.

So to speak. Translate that how you will. My husband was also ill to the point where this morning I was like, Hey. And he was like, Jenny, last night I googled. Apparently, he googled, What is a heart attack? No. Because he had such bad heart burn in gas.

From the brisket?

No, it was a bisque. It was a bisque. It was a bisque. It was a bisque. It was a bisque. I let it get cold. Then I reheated. I think that was it because our daughter didn't have it, and she's in great health today. So anyway.

You should combine them and call it a biscuit. A biscuit. Okay.

I love this.

Do that.

It gives you both diarrhea and heartburn. It's a biscuit, but it's nothing like either the British or the American biscuit.

Because a brisket, you're picking up. Because a brisket biske is one of our favorite dishes. There just hasn't been a name for it yet.

And if you're hosting a briske, you could have a catering service called brisket, where it is, you do a briske, then you have the brisket and the biske.

But you spell it B-R-I-S-K, new word, I-T.

Brisket. Then we got, Let's briske, and then you chop off the top of the baby's penis. I need you guys.

Sean, before we get to the audience question we get each week-We haven't started yet, have we?

No, we're not recording any of this. This is right. Okay.

This is a catch-up, so it feels natural.

Start now.

I wanted to ask you because you're uniquely positioned to give advice on this, and we need it. Do you have any tips on how to let a strong and long friendship flourish while putting it on the air and professionally entangling yourself even more, even though it is just about the friendship. You guys are doing fantastic.

In the same vein that I had to interpret diarrhea, I'm going to interpret your question as, How do we stay friends through all of this? Is that what it is? Yeah. First of all, you don't have to talk so close to the mic, Max. Second of all... I'm kidding. I'm totally At first, you're like,. No, that's a good question. Well, the thing is, we all live in the same city and we all hang out even when we're not doing the podcast. But we really are like brothers, and just like you guys are brothers and sister, of course, we've gotten an argument. And of course, it just makes you closer and it makes you stronger and it makes your bond tighter. I wouldn't be afraid to, and I'm sure you guys aren't because you've known forever, to have heated discussion discussions about topics you feel passionate about and you get through it. And on the other side is just a closer relationship. And not that we have, really. I can think of one or two times that we've all gotten into it, and that was decades ago. Who won? Definitely not me. You're two. No, but it was all sibling stuff.

Then you realize, Oh, God, that was so dumb.

Yeah.

Our dynamic is a little more sexual tension. Sure. But not in any of the directions you'd think.

Gabe and I have been staring at each other since Y2K.

Who's going to make the first move?

Days like this when I show up in both a turtle neck and a full-length cordyroid jumpsuit, both of these guys are going crazy.

But you guys are having a good time, and you guys are going to do this forever, right? Yes.

I mean, truly, when we got to record in person, whatever last week, maybe, I was like, Oh, the more we do it, the more energized I get. I could talk. I mean, I could talk all day anyway. I do. I'm walking around mumbling.

I know. Me, too. I told my therapist that She gets a break because I just lay it all on, Scotty. I don't stop talking during the day. I'm like, What do you think? Wow, look at those mountains in Burbank. Do you think that they ever had a snowcap on top? Just endless dumb shit.

Jenny doesn't have dreams because everything gets processed. That's true. While she's awake. There's nothing left. That's funny.

That's true.

That's what my therapist told me, is the reason why my dreams are so boring. Like, the other night, I had a dream that I was taking the SATs and I was waiting for my result. The reason why it's so boring, I'm waiting for a sandwich or just stuff like that, is that I-So you dream in a black space. I just process so much during the day that when it's time for me to go to bed, it's like my psyche can't even think of anything. So it's just like, S-A-T.

Jenny used to fall asleep in cars, pointing at herself. It was such a weird... What does that mean? A weird rigor mortis, but also just such a weird actor. That's like a baby finger thing. I'm unplugging, but I'm still here. But yeah, it just was fully...

What does that mean? I have no idea. While you're driving?

We were in a van on the way to do an improv show somewhere in college.

It was many times, but that was probably when I started screaming about it. Oh, my Yeah. So good. If I recline even five degrees, I'm out. No one sleeps. Oh, really? No one falls asleep faster than me. It's crazy.

What about you, Max?

I have to be put down like a wild horse.

Yeah, you got to get shrank, right?

Okay. Yeah, I'm ambiant and all sorts. For real? Yeah.

Oh, that's good, though. For 15 years.

That's great.

Wow. And you think you still need it, ambiant?

Whenever I once a month try to take a night off and can but have the worst night, like wake up, like I just crossed the Delaware by boat. I have. Messed up.

I have 88 PhD or something. Self-diagnosed, yeah, same. And so if the second I watch a movie or TV show, I'm out in two minutes because I have to focus on something. But then if I take that I'm up, I can watch the whole thing. But it's just the initial or reading a book, I'm like, One paragraph, I'm out.

We should take our voicemail, right?

We have an audience question. Sean, we would love... People ask us for advice because we have everything together. Figured out. In life. We're sages. I was going to call and leave a message.

You should. You should. I know. Please do. I should, yeah.

Where should you point when you're sleeping? Now you already know.

Yeah, that's a good one.

My grandmother Nana Connie called the Boston Globe one time told them they should do more stories about that actress, Jenny Slate. She really did. And then the reporter told me.

Did you say My Anna Conda?

What did you say My Anna Conda? My Nana, Connie, my grandmother. Oh, Nana Connie. Yeah. And they were like, Is this? Because they could see the Caller ID.

I love that. That's funny. It says Jenny's Nana is what her Caller ID said. Okay, let's listen to this question from a listener.

Hi. I just saw your post on Instagram, and here's my question. Is there any amount of nose picking that is acceptable in some I get an idea of it. I live in Colorado, and almost everyone here picks their nose because it is so dry, and you always have stuff going on. And then it's also an anxiety thing, and every Everybody's anxious. I would rather someone pick their nose than do other bad things that come from anxiety. But when I see people really going at it or cranking up their elbow, it really bugs me, and I cannot tolerate it. There's all kinds of things around that, like what do you do with what you get out of it, out of your nose.

Oh, yeah. What you do with what you get out of it. It's beautiful. Put that on a mic. That's a great question. If what you do with what you get out of it feels like an inspirational saying.

Or like a pillow. Yeah. Wait, what? So these are the high-bra questions we got here? Yeah. Well, I mean, it's a pretty easy one. We probably shouldn't do it.

That was Dostoevsky herself calling in.

I don't know that it's easy.

I don't think it's easy.

Okay, wait. What's your answer?

So I realized as I was listening to this question, there is something weirdly, I think, worse about working from the outside in than working on the inside. Does that make sense? What's that?

No.

A little pinch in the middle. A little pinch in the middle feels like you're managing. But that's better.

When you have the Baudville hook.

You can have that.

If you're working on something in the lobe, I don't even know what you call the larger. I'm like, Well, that's gross.

That's gross. If you're on the side of the nostril picking something. Yes.

Weirdly in my head, I'm like, I wouldn't do that in public. I wouldn't want someone to see me in my car doing that.

But it is an incredible feeling once you clear that out and you can breathe. Do you ever watch videos where they pull out massive amounts of mucus from noses? Yes. My mouth waters. It does. My mouth waters. Oh, God, that looks like it feels so good. The satisfaction of clearing out your nose.

I mean, I've definitely seen people going crazy on their noses in their own cars. And I understand that. People doing... They're popping pimples and stuff because they feel that they're alone. That's fine. It's your car. Don't do it when someone else is in it. But when you're free, when you're out in the world, I really...

Well, this is interesting. I think it's the car thing because people feel more confident because if somebody sees you do it, you're like, Fuck, I don't care. I'm going to drive away and never see this person again. But if you do it in public or in your house with other people watching, you're probably more discreet about it because you're stuck with that person in a room. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Of course.

I don't know. What do you think about that?

I have a gym membership just to pop in and absolutely rip ones in the locker room. I pay for it. And so I have a couple around the city, and I'll just park, get the validation, go to the locker room, absolutely get screwed up there, and then just go.

I was such a nose picker when I was little. That was something I really had to learn to knock it Yeah.

Did you flick it or wipe it?

I flicked it.

Yeah, you got to flick it.

And I remember having to be like, Okay, this is unacceptable to other people. I still think it's normal and fine.

I think I knew not to let people see me doing it, but I do think it's really satisfying and it's okay. It's your own body. You find a private space to do it. If you have a dry booger and getting it out, that feels great. I think the answer is you should really try Well, this is what I would say. Try not to do it in public. Just try. The etiquette is, don't do it in public. Don't do it in public. And definitely don't do it. But we love you.

Yeah. I'm sorry about Colorado's anxiety epidemic. I know it's tough to pick which brew house and pizza place to go to or whatever because there's four on every block, but you'll figure it out.

I need you guys.

I saw the promo clip for I need you guys. And, Jenny, you brought up such a funny thing about getting your own phone or something. You're like, remember when you got your own phone, it was such a big deal. And, Gabe, you said, and then your family would listen in or something. Yeah.

Jenny's dad listened in. Yes.

All the time, right? My mom would do that, too. I remember that as a kid, like the landlines. And one time I went down to the basement and I called some gay chat group line. Remember those from the 1980s?

Singles are waiting to party on the landline. That's right.

And you're like, Oh, I'll try it. I thought it was being real discreet. And then my mom got... It was It was $3 a minute or something. Then my mom got the phone bill, and she called it before confronting me. She was like, What is this? I was like, I don't know. We got a house. I was like, I'm trying to call my friend Randy, and I must dial the wrong number. She was like, You dialed it five times for an hour. But you could never get away with anything on a landline. God, no.

Well, before Caller ID, you could definitely prank call. You could do that.

Yeah, Star 67 or whatever.

Yeah. Oh, that's right. You could block your number, right?

You could block your number so you could get away with anything.

Can't you do that on cell phones now? I don't know.

I think so. I mean, there was a time when-I ask you for a friend.

My friend Randy wants to know.

Randy needs to know if he can block.

Because he likes to party on the phone.

We're the number-Jenny's phone rings with a blocked number.

The number we knew about that we would call it if we were like, there was a pay phone somewhere and you could only listen to 90 seconds before it made you paid. 1,800 red tits. What? I don't know who knew that, but it's like, also, why is that a.

Why not red nips? Why are all the full titties all red?

That's-they're all red. That whole thing is red.

The whole thing, they're red. They're bright red. They're the same because there's no change in tone. It's just an absolute fire engine red.

The whole thing is red.

I once got a $750 AOL bill because I thought I had... My parents were like, Why do we have a $750 dollar charge. It was because we had a second line that I quietly co-opted for AOL, but I didn't know that the 40 free hours had run out or whatever because we would get those disks in the mail. Truly, it was because I would leave my computer on overnight to download a. Gif of Tiffany, Amber, Thieson sitting on the hood of a Porsche, but it took 15 hours for a half a megabyte file and cost my parents $800.

Sorry, mom. By the way, before we go, if you're looking for affordable plans for anything, SmartList Mobile is $10 a month for 10 gigabytes. You're kidding. Thank you, guys. What a pleasure to be on your show. You're such a pro. This was fantastic.

Sean, thank you for coming on our show. It was so good to see you. I miss you. You, too.

I love you, guys. You're inThank you so much. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Thank you. I love this so much.

We do, too.

We love you. We love you.

We'll be doing it.

Okay, bye.

Bye.

What an angel.

That was so fun. I love Sean Hayes. He is one of the greats.

I think that's the living room or the room he was setting up at the beginning of the pandemic. Like, great bookshelf, great set up.

Beautiful bookshelf. He also had a a kitchen island moment, too, for table reads, where you could see a living room behind him. You're right.

I don't know. I would suspect that you guys feel this, but there are moments, and I don't feel that it's normal to be able to talk to Sean Hayes. I know. To be like, Oh, yeah. Look into my future and be like, Yeah, I get to talk to one of the funniest people on TV, and he knows my name and in fact has helped me have a podcast. That just was like, blowing my mind. And I didn't want to say it to him because I felt like I would start crying. So I'll just tag it on the end here. But it's just like, remember that episode of Will and Grace where it was like the real share? Of course. Oh, my God. I just remember being like, he's like a gold medalist of comedy.

Jenny, that is great. Okay. So Daniel and I, my husband and I, we've rewatched the old Will and Grace many times over our 10-year marriage. And he always makes fun of me because while we're watching it, I will mumble under my breath. Olympic level.

Oh my God.

Olympic level. Whenever Sean lands a joke, it's just like- It's crazy. The writing is hard to say. That character is hard to play. And then he was doing back flips and all this physical stuff. Absolutely crazy.

Sometimes, the first time I went to a table read for a show and was like, Oh, I didn't really know what it was. So If you don't know, if you're on TV, there used to be a time, they don't really do it a lot now, but it used to be, especially on a sitcom, but also animated stuff. Before they would film or record, you would all sit around a table and everybody would perform the script for the executives, and you would really want people to laugh and see if it works. It was a lot of pressure, and it was really important. Anyway, the first time I did one, the thing I thought, and it was a successful table read, on my way out, I was like, Oh, my God, the people that got to see Sean Hayes and Megan Mulally do table reads, they must have been crying. They must have known that they were a part of something.

One story I meant to tell earlier, just to wrap it up, to let you know how Where I am as we head off into our days, is that you were talking... We were sadly talking about ICE. You mentioned Dean Cain, Jenny. Yeah. And a month ago, I was looking at my phone and I said to my wife, Oh, wow, Trader Vicks is reopening. In West Hollywood. She's like, What's Trader Vicks? I love Tiki cocktails and love LA diving spots. I started explaining to her. I was like, Well, it was this... Now there's a lot of them, but it was this hotspot in, I think, the '50s, '60s. It was like, Dean Martin and his crew would be there. It was like, Dean Martin's hang, but I accidentally said Dean Cain. She was like, I'm excited about Trader Vicks. She's like, What's Trader Vicks? I was like, It's this Tiki Lounge, where Dean Cain used to hang out, and it was Dean Cain's group.. But to her credit, was just like, Oh, cool. I would be pretty excited about a restaurant where Dean Cain used to hang out, reopening, famously his crew, of Lounge Lizards.

The coolest.

Yeah, the coolest.

And coming up next, Dean Cain will be batching up some Tiki drinks.

Riding in here on a big old Lounge Lizard. He's sitting on one of the big stegasaurus spikes.

This was fabulous, you guys. I love you.

It really was. Gosh, I love you guys so much. Is there anything cool you're going to do before you see us all next?

I'm going to send the White House some memes.

Oh, we're taking our baby to a pumpkin, to a big light show at Descanso Gardens tonight. Pumpkins, Halloween. Yes. We might dress him up in his costume.

Yes, you should. That's so nice. Great.

That's so nice. I'll send pics. Wow.

Bye, guys.

Bye. This show is called I need you guys, and it stars us, Gabe Liedman, Jenny Slate, and Max Silvestri. It's a production of Smartlist Media.

I need you guys is produced by Anne Harris, Josh Richmond, and Devon Tori Bryant, and edited by Josh. Music is by Devon. Executive producers are the coolest people in the world, Gabe, Jenny, and Max.

Executive producers for Smartless Media are Will Arnett, Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, Richard Corson, and Bernie Kaminski.

Email us at Ineedyouguyshow@gmail. Com with all your most perplexing etiquette questions, or even better, call us at, 949-441-1231, and leave your questions as a voicemail so we can play your adorable voices on the show.

We'll see you next week.

Because we need you guys.

We need you guys.

We need you guys. We need you guys.

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