Transcript of "Kirsten Dunst"

Jason and I are the only two people in glasses. Don't you usually wear glasses?

That was like a billing situation. You said Jason and Will. No, sorry. I mean, Will and Jason. No, I said- Will calls you and said, Listen, next time you mention my name along with Jason. You mention my name first.

You also say, And introducing Will.

And introducing with the. I prefer the.

You're going to say Will and Jason and introducing Will? Yes.

No, say, Yeah. You're saying that you're I'm only two in glasses? Yeah.

Yeah, I was going to say, you usually wear glasses.

I do. I wear my reading glasses, but I'm far back enough now from my screen that I don't. So I look younger than you guys.

Well, you don't need to see Will today very well because he's doing an audio show called Smartless. Smartless. And welcome to it.

Smart.

Let's hang on a second. Yeah. Sean Hayes is back in town. He's back in town. No, you can't applaud for yourself. Don't start the applause, Sean. We'll start it. Okay, there you go. Then you can join it.

You know, just- This guy.

So happy to have him back.

By the way, I have to tell you something. I went out the stage door after a couple of shows No, after one show, and people were doing that bit. They're like, Bravo! Bravo! No, no way. In England. In England, yeah. You guys.

The bits travel sometimes. The bits travel.

People are listening.

But I just got back last night, and I swear to God, I weighed about 179, 180. When I left, I weighed 165. 165 pounds.

You lost 15 pounds while you were in? Yeah. Well, if you lost it and you're looking for it, I can tell you where to find it.

How long will it take to get it back?

I swear to God, for breakfast, I just had a bowl of pasta and two pieces of cake because it was Scottie's birthday yesterday.

You got a big race tomorrow or something?

Wait, it's 9: 30 in the morning right now, and you've already had- But to him, it's din-din time. A bowl of pasta and two pieces of cake.

His belly is saying, feed me, it's dinner time.

That's right. That's exactly right. But I got back yesterday at 1: 00 in the afternoon, and I went to bed at 08: 00 PM, and I got up at 1: 00 AM and then went back to bed. I got up at 7: 00. So I slept like 12 hours.

Yeah, you needed it.

It was crazy.

Did you have to clean the CPAP machine in between? You're still on that. Are you not? You're still on the host?

No, I lost the weight, so I don't need it.

Do it truly?

Truly?

It was the weight that was-It's a combination of things.

I try not to sleep on my back, too. But yeah. Okay.

Do you have nails on your back or something so that if you roll on your back, it pokes you Yeah.

That would be good.

Strap on some a nail bed.

People used to do that. They'd put a tennis ball. They'd wrap a tennis ball on their backs. No, they didn't.

What are you talking about?

What do you mean, did they?

Look it up.

Oh, we do the research.

You sell it to my wife. What do you mean, rapid? Wait, keep going. Do the research.

What do you mean? I love research.

Tennis ball.

I did the research. Oh, did the research. What do you mean? Oh, you have access to Google? Yeah.

Wait, what website told you that people used to strap a tennis ball to the small of their backs?

I read that a long time ago.

Wait, to do To do what? I don't understand.

Somehow put a tennis ball on the... I forget how they do it in their shirt or whatever. It prevents you from- So that if they roll onto their back, it's uncomfortable, and then they want to roll back. Or it's gentle.

They do it with duct tape or something like that?

I get it. Or a tensor bandage or something. I don't know.

Don't say fucking tensor ever again.

You know I think- Your dumb lips.

Tenser. Tenser.

Yeah.

Stop looking at my lips.

Professional great. I was doing it this morning. Were you? Yeah. We are professional great.

The river doesn't damn itself.

This country wasn't built in a day.

Not a week either.

You do Santa Claus, too, well, right? You play Santa Claus.

No, it's Batman.

Oh, Batman. You know what? Batman Santa Claus.

Hey, Sean, we got to get you a nice campaign. What would you like to- That's a great point. What would you like to sling commercials for? Yeah.

Call it right now. Is cake a thing?

Yeah. It's a general cake spot.

It's all cake products.

The cake makers of America. Yeah. Sean, would you like to go to a cake convention? Wouldn't that be fun?

Wouldn't that be great?

How was the reintroduction to your dog? Did he give you any idea?

He comes back today in about three, four hours.

Still haven't seen him. How long has it been?

Three months. Wow.

You think he's going to give you a little bit of a hairy eyeball?

Like, Welcome back. Side eye. No, he will- Will he poop in the bed? No. I'll do No, he'll- Oh, Sean.

Still?

Welcome home.

No, he'll go, Wow, it's you, and then run and just play and want a treat.

It's like Scotty.

Listen, Sean, we're so happy to have you back in the fold. We miss you the other night. We talked about you all the time.

We're so excited. Are we all hanging out this Sunday? Yeah. What if you guys are like, Sorry, that was it. Last Sunday was it.

We are Sunday. But in the meantime- Hollywood Bowl. Oh, well, by the way, sorry, we are going We are going to the Hollywood Bowl. We are going to the Hollywood Bowl.

November 15th.

November 15th, Hollywood Bowl. We got a couple of guests. We got a couple of great things going on.

I got a super big guest.

Will, you better bring the noise on your guest. Yeah, I'm going to bring the noise. It's going to be a lot of fun. We're also going to have some special guests as well. It's going to be a lot of fun. Special guests sprinkled around? Oh, yeah. We're going to have a lot of shiny living objects.

Am I going to be told about the special guests?

You've already been told. We've talked about it before, but you just don't listen. But anyway.

Tell me your name one more time. Oh, God.

I'm sorry. Unless I put it in the context of golf, he doesn't hear it.

Jason, we already talked about it. We did.

Yeah, I know. We already talked about it. Remember? Okay, we're going to welcome our guest.

Is this someone that's going to make me nervous?

It's really... Well, I-I get nervous about the secret guest stuff. You know this person, and you're going to be nervous about her because she's a super-wattage megatech. But I've had the pleasure of meeting this person a few times, and I'm always a little star-struck, I got to admit.

You only meet someone once.

She was nominated for her first Golden Globe when she was 12. Okay? What? Yeah, and has kept it going ever since. She's been in countless fantastic movies. Once you start naming them, it's like, Forget it. I think I know who this is. I don't think you do know who it is. Is it Jodie Foster? It's not Jodie Foster. She's been in... I don't even know. I can't even... But her first nomination was for Interview with a Van Tire. Shirley Temple.

Kirsten Dunst.

I just guessed it was Kirsten Dunst. She's just gone, Jumanji, Drop Dead Gorgish, Spider-Man movie, Civil War last year. How did you get that, Shani? Roof Man, October 10th. This gives them. Reveal yourself.

I fucking By the way, that's the first time I think I ever got it right.

Academy Award nominee. You didn't even let me get to it.

Sorry.

You robbed her. You robbed her of that. Hi, Curious Dunst. Hi.

I'm so happy to be on this show.

Does anyone call you KD?

Yes.

Really?

Yes. I'm a lot of names.

Well, listen here, Katie. You're never going to work for the government. I'm in Toronto, and I'm walking by her table, you guys, and up she pops, Hey, I'm about to be on your show. I'm like, Hey.

Is that right?

Is that right? That's supposed to be a secret. Secret. So your government job is done. That's okay. But I was like, Okay, I'll play a big surprise. But you never know.

You didn't know.

But you didn't know when it's going to happen. You never know when it's going to happen. That's the good news. You guys were up at Tiff because You were up there promoting Black Rabbit and Kirstie, you were up there promoting Roof Man, which I'm really excited.

I saw Roof Man the following day, and it was killer. I hear it's amazing.

That movie's freaking awesome. I can't wait to see that movie.

It's so good. It's a perfect Christmas movie. I love it. Love it, love it, love it.

I can't wait to see it, and we're all very excited for it. We're really excited that you're here. It feels like finally a little bit.

Couldn't make a deal. Where are you? Where is this?

I'm into Luca Lake.

Nice. Oh, wow. You're just up there. Will and I are about to shank a couple of balls in your backyard.

We are about to be there in a couple of hours.

There's probably a better way to say that.

Yeah. Don't worry, we'll scrub it. You were supposed to be on here a couple of years ago for Civil I forget what happened. It was a schedule thing, blah, blah, blah.

One of you were sick.

Yeah, J. B, for sure.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah, for sure, J. B.

I'm always battling. Wait, you were so great in that movie. That movie was really cool.

I know. I love Civil War. It was so good.

I know. I need to see that. I'm scared to see that. I feel like it's probably super good, super accurate. It's like the same reason. You know that movie United 93, that Paul Greengrass? Yeah. Okay, sure. I'll never see that because what I hear is that it's just too good. It puts you on a plane that's plummeting from the sky for two and a half minutes.

I did that movie that's coming out next year on a plane. No.

What is it called?

Really?

The Entertainment System is Down.

Oh, yes. Wait, what? What is that about?

What's the name of it? That's the guy who did Triangle of Sadness.

Yes, and Horse Majeur. Ruben Oslin, his name is.

You're in a Ruben Oslin film?

Yeah, that was...

You and your hubby are just in about every great movie you ever want to be in.

I know. Your husband, Jesse Pummets, who's also a wonderful guy. I had the pleasure of meeting both of you last year or something. Just sweet, sweet. It's super talent. You did that movie, The Entertainment System is Down, which I just read about, which looks awesome.

What is that? Like satellites go out or something?

What is that? Sound less perturbed about it.

No, I want to know because it sounds cool.

What is it like the satellites are down or something?

Do I still get emails and stuff like Can I still do Candy Crush?

Does Candy Crush work? By the way, that's real.

That's all I do. Wait, I know we're talking about something on the movie, but tell me what that one's about just briefly, because I love sci-fi.

So you want to prepare.

It's not sci-fi.

Oh, yeah, but I mean doomsday stuff?

Well, it's human doomsday, basically, on a plane.

Yeah, it's human doomsday.

It's called the Entertainment System is Down because there's no WiFi, there's nothing. Right. You have to deal with each other.

Okay, that's what I want to see. I want to see that.

Sean, it's like the bar on Tattooine in Star Wars?

Oh, got it. I'm on board.

Okay, sorry. I just wanted to put it into context. You I understand. Got it. Curious. Walk us through a little bit. I mentioned that you got your first big award nomination. It was for Golden Globe when you were 12 years old. How trippy was that? I mean, for a 12-year-old.

I don't think I really realized. You know what? I was working on Jumanji, and everyone's like, You're going to win. You're going to win. And so don't tell a little girl that, because I didn't win. And then I was crying on... Jane Seymour was next to me, like for Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman, and I was just crying under the table, pretty much.

At the table on MBC in front of all the... And Everyone's all banged up on champagne. There's a little girl there looking for someone to hold.

Wow.

Did you have a speech all lined up and everything?

I don't remember if I did, but- But hey, better to learn that at a young age that you can't trust the outcome of stuff.

I was going to say, did it help right size all of that stuff eventually?

It's like award stuff doesn't... It's weird. We all know. The good stuff we all love usually doesn't get nominated or doesn't win. It's like, so really all you have is the experience of making it. That's all you have.

It's so odd, isn't it? You're not... The competition of it all, no one's playing the same character. It's like, 100-year-a-dash, everyone's going the same distance. Who gets there quicker? It's pretty clear.

I had to audition for the movie on the plane for where the entertainment system is down. Oh, you did? Yes. Really? That feeling, I hadn't been that excited to get a role since Interview with the Vampire. Wow. To me, auditioning and getting something is like, that is crazy.

That's the win. When was the last time you auditioned before the Ruben Oslin thing?

I auditioned for this movie with Jeff Nichols, the director Jeff Nichols, called Midnight Special.

The great Jeff Nichols. That was a great movie, Midnight Special. Yeah. Love that movie. But wait, so that was 10 years ago?

Yeah, it had been a minute. At least. I don't think, yeah. That was the last time I auditioned.

Oh, my God. Were you nervous auditioning again? I would be terrified.

I did a self tape. Which is easier. I rolled by myself. It is easier.

The New World.

It was all improv. He gave me an improv. I just put my iPhone. I just taped it on my iPhone and pretended.

If you sucked, you just get to do it again.

Yeah, I did two takes. I felt I was like... And I didn't watch it, and I He just sent it.

Did you ask Jessie to look at it?

No, he was away. So no one was there.

So you were just all by yourself? Yeah. No way. So what do you think he was looking for? Do you mind saying what the improv was?

No, not at all. My improv was a... Two people are sitting bored next to each other on a plane. He's asleep with our son, and I am bored and look at his phone, and I discover that he's been cheating on me. So it's hanging out on the plane, bored, do the whole face recognition thing.

Wait, so that's all your idea?

No, no. This is all he wanted me to do this vibe, basically. Basically, the director. Then I see a memory comes up on the iPhone that is like to Cotton Eye Joe, that song. It's supposed to be him cheating with a bunch of other women.

Where did you come from? Where did you go?

Exactly. Sure. Then I see that he's been cheating on me, and I wake him up. But at first, I have to go through all the emotions and shit.

Since there was no one else in the improv with you, as soon as you wake him up and you start to confront him, it's over.

It's over. I was like, You need to wake up. Then I just got pissed, and I got up and shut off my phone.

I love it. I would have loved. That's crazy.

I mean, it's wild to do a self tape of an improv by yourself.

I know.

Yeah. That's so weird.

I did put Jessie's camera like that because he's always shooting film of our family. So I put his camera nearby, so I had like a, I don't know, a symbol. This is real actor right now. Of him, of something.

How long have you guys been married?

Oh, God. I don't even know. We've been together for about 10 years. We got married after kids.

Yeah.

Really? Three years, maybe.

Okay, got it.

Yeah. That's great. Talk a little A little bit about... Doing that audition for that movie by yourself, the Nightmare Self tape improv, which is bizarre. But it'd probably been a minute since... You said you auditioned for another film, but how different was when you first started auditioning when you were a kid, basically? J. B, you had that experience, too, auditioning a lot when you were a kid, right? Yeah. What that process was like back then, what it meant to you back then, did you feel were the stakes high or was it just after After school, go do it and then go do your thing? Yeah.

What is that like? Did you put a big thing on it?

What do you think, Kirsten?

I did. I did because... Well, okay, we were at the Oakwood Apartments. Oh, my God. I was going to normal schools.

For my sister, for Tracy, Oakwood Apartments is a complex where a lot of actors would stay while they got it.

Because you can rent it monthly.

You can come out for a pilot season. I'd come out for a pilot season, a bunch of years in a row and stayed there.

Same.

Yeah. Oh, same. Where were you coming from?

I'm from New Jersey.

Okay. Yeah.

All right.

You guys could have come. We would come out. We probably could.

Remember, you used to have that sign when you left the… The one on Barham, right? Yeah. The back gate one had You were waiting for the gate to open. There was a sign on the gate as it moved that said, smile at showtime.

Oh, God, I don't remember.

I remember thinking like, How soon do you want me to take my own life? So depressed, not getting any jobs. Go get Oh, God. Anyway, so you come out your- Oh, my God.

So you're at Oakwood.

You're at Oakwood with your- I'm at Oakwood.

My mom, my brother, and my grandma. Wow. But I would go to normal school. I went to Laurel Hall in the Valley. Sure. Where I met my best friend. I had a normal-ish life because I never was home-tutored or anything. Yeah. But yeah, auditioning was when it was a big role. I remember it was like, I auditioned for an interview with the vampire, auditioned for the secret garden, and I didn't get the secret garden. And I remember sobbing about that.

Wow. But now, did it get more stressful as you got older?

No, because I think because I got success from interview, I didn't have to audition for a long time. I audition for little women, but it wasn't frequent enough to traumatize me. I audition for Spider-Man was the big next one that I audition for.

Did you get it?

I did.

Sean, he's jet lagged. Forget us that he's just cheeky. Even though he's not in England anymore, he's still cheeky. J. B, did you ever... I mean this honestly. Did you ever sob or have that thing, that pressure? I remember you talking about the pressure of getting a job because it was the family business.

I never cried, but what was worse was that I'd be so paralyzed with fear on the way to auditions when I got to be in my 20s because I literally needed the employment. It wasn't just fun when I was a little kid and I get to skip school and all that stuff. Then it became like, Well, this is my occupation.

It's how I make- Did you support your family, Jason?

I contributed for sure. Yeah.

Did you, Kirsten?

I didn't have to. It started out as like, fun, college money, whatever. Then my parents got divorced, and then it was a little like, well, you're making the most money. My mom lives in my back house, okay?

That's sweet.

Yeah, I'm a good daughter.

That's good. That is sweet. I love that.

Very, very cute.

We'll be right back. Now, back to the show.

All right, so you're in Taluca Lake. What's going on? Is Jessie in town? Or are you... You guys must take turns single-parenting.

I was going to get into that. Yeah, it's tough.

Yeah, it's so hard. I had a real moment last night. I just went to my friend's house. I was like, I can't parent alone tonight. I just can't do it.

Just leave a bunch of milk and crackers out.

Well, I took them with me. Oh, got you. No, I just brought them all.

Jp, what do you think she's doing? I'm over there, man.

That's how I grew up.

Wait, how many kids and how old?

I have two boys, but literally, I'm getting ready for this and I get this sign, I need you. Him sad, me with the door shut.

Oh, Wow. Look at that drawing.

That's so Sean. Sean's dog drew a similar picture.

Wait, did he make that? So, listener, this is a picture of Kirstin inside one room with the door closed, and then her son on the outside. Upset. Upset. And so did he slide that under the door?

Yes. No.

Let me come out.

Yeah.

I let them sleep in bed with B. When Jessie's not here, I am like, actually, you know who we watch, Will, is the Lego Masters show. Nice.

It puts you right out, right? Yeah, no, I used that.

It's like a sugar crash.

It's calming. It's a fun thing to watch with kids, isn't it? It's a very fun family show.

It is. Are you guys always... One of you is pretty much, is it safe to say, always working, and that's why you have to just...

We had the summer together. Or do you have a schedule? No, we had the summer together. It's It's not like, whoever's up next, whatever happens. We're still trying to figure it out. But it's really hard. It's really hard. They're four and seven, and they're two boys. It's a lot.

Yeah. It's a lot. I've been there, been there, done that.

Have you thought about, and you can shut us up anytime we're getting too personal. Have you thought about the- Shut up. The possible- I didn't know that was an option.

Fucking shut up. This is That's the fucking greatest day of the podcast. Shut the fuck up.

Shut the fuck up. About the possible convenience of homeschooling, where you guys just drag them around.

I don't want my kids to be weird.

I know. Yeah. Exactly. I'm with you. They need that social interaction, probably, right? Yeah. No, I don't do that. I know plenty of parents that have done it successfully, so who are we to judge? But I definitely benefited from getting away from adults and into school and with kids when I wasn't working. It was great.

The great news was the bus that picked you up was the school.

That was one year. It turns out.

Jason went to school on a bus, and he didn't drop out of high school. He was dropped off from high school.

It is true. It's going to be a fun chapter in the book one day. Oh, God. Oh, my God.

Here comes the tears.

Don't you cry. Don't you cry, J.

I'm not crying. You're crying.

You mentioned you didn't really have to audition anymore. You did for Little Women. But then you just started doing, and you mentioned you get nominated, I guess, when you're doing Jumanji, which was a huge hit.

Just massive.

Yeah, massive. You went on this run of just being in these big, massive movies, and You're young. So you're young. You're like, oh, well, this is my reality.

It wasn't, though. I was almost embarrassed. Really? I think so. I didn't really... I had a blocker up, I think, that didn't compute what I was doing. Plus, what am I doing? I'm going to school. I have my best friend. We're in our own world. I really lived in a very little school bubble. So I would do my thing.

I know, but didn't it get weird on the weekends and you go to your school parties and all the kids at the party and you're just trying to... You just feel like you're just one of the kids at the weekend party. And then like, Oh, hey, that's that girl from the movie I saw last week.

They didn't do that to No?

Really? Come on. You were pretty famous, though.

Yeah, but I don't know. At a very early age. They didn't do that to me at school. Yeah? Maybe it was like I was very normal. I didn't come into school like, Hey, look at me. I was embarrassed. Yeah.

Talk to me about that. What do you mean embarrassed? Embarrassed because of the attention that you got that was a byproduct of the movie that you weren't looking for?

I think I just didn't want to be singled out at school as anything other than another student there. In high school, too. I didn't want anyone to call me out or be like... So I underplayed myself.

Were you already through high school when you did Bring It On?

It was senior year, the summer before senior year.

I love that movie so much. The ultimate cheerleading high school movie, too, all the time.

But we didn't know that at the time. That was like a little San Diego Who Cares movie, the Universal. It wasn't like no one that that would be to be.

Do you still remember some of the cheers?

You know I do.

Do you ever do it sometimes, ironically, on set when you're trying to ramp up the crew in the cast?

I would. It's a fucking night shoot and it's time to keep going. Ready?

Okay. Five, five.

I did it for my sons yesterday because we went to this 25th anniversary. You did? Well, we went to this 25th anniversary, Bring It On thing on Sunday night. No way. No way. They had good pop-ups, so I brought some pop-ups home and I was doing cheers for them. No way. Spelling their names. That's the only show. Those are the only people that are going to get that.

Did they like it?

Yes. My son was looking at me like I was like, whoa, like a golden goddess. I didn't know you could do this, Mom.

You don't want them to like it too much. Cheers, squad.

Yeah. Actually, a mom recruited me to start a cheer squad at the school.

Really?

Oh, wow.

Yes, yes, yes. Oh, I'm going to do it. I'll do it. Yeah. Really?

I love that you're going to do that.

I do love that show. That's so cool. That show, Cheer? Oh, yeah. That was great.

That's so good. Until it got dark.

I know.

I know. Is it dark? What is it?

Well, it got dark.

A guy got arrested for bad things. Really?

Oh, God. Wait, I didn't see that one. Well, no. Did that happen on the show or away from it?

Off the show. Yeah.

Wait, Shani, did you ever experiment with Cheer Squad?

No, but my sister was a cheerleader. What's your sister's name? She's Tom Her name is Tracy. With an E-Y or is it just Y? The E-Y, yeah. Where she lived? She lived in Wisconsin.

Did she know much about the biz? No.

Do you have to explain stuff to her ever?

Yeah, anytime you guys can think about it, just make sure.

Continuing.

She would do cheerleading things, and she would do pompe, and she would do batons. Oh, wait, do I have the photo? No. I thought you were going to grab a baton. There's a picture of me and her. I love you to grab a baton.

I learned how to do the baton at a young age.

What is the little thing, the dude in front of the band, the marching band? It's not- The stick. Yeah. It's got a pointy stick and then a little ball at the top. Is that also a baton? Or just a band leader stick?

Or staff.

Or staff. Something like that. Anyway, Kirsten.

I'm happy chilling.

Yeah. You don't get to talk on this show. I love it.

Wait, so tell me, wait. Because like Will said, you've done so many gigantic movies. Is there, I know you don't want to... They're all important to you and all of your work is important.

But they're all different styles. You really bounce around. You can't be pegged one thing. It almost feels like different phases. Well, they're just different roles, I guess. That's what it is. Yeah.

But is there one where you're just like, You know what? That was the greatest experience of my whole career so far. You just thought like, there's no way it can get better. Not result necessarily, but just- No, the experience. Experience.

I don't know because movies aren't fun to make. You know what I mean? Right. But, God.

I really like- He'll take the worst experience.

I liked making Melancholia. It was like this little isolated. It felt like we were doing a play. We all lived in this small town in Sweden in this hotel/housing place. It was It was just cozy and really calm and so... What am I, like comforting? I don't know. I just felt like, Oh, this is what it could be like.

Lars von Trier?

Yeah.

Now, then you have a fam. Go ahead.

I'm going to ask a dumb question. Surprise. I'm not sure about going to Sweden, to Norway.

Why?

Because of the light. I can't wait for this. I feel like I get very sad because if I'm there during the time of the year, when the sun only comes up for a couple of hours, I'm going to feel like a empire.

They call it winter.

Is it winter? I'm not sure I can do it.

No, it's very... We were there in the summer, so we had a beautiful Swedish summer.

Almost worse, right? Because the sun never goes down. It did.

It's weird. I went one time early July, and I flew from here, and I landed there. I had crazy jet lag, and then woke up at 4: 00 AM. A phone call came through, and I step outside, and it's blaring sun, and it's like 5: 00 to 4: 00 AM, and it felt like it was noon, and I was like, What the fuck? Where am I? It was so discombobulating. I feel bad.

I mean, because of that, Kirsten, and because you have a family now and Jessie works, and it's this very artistic, you're just around it all the time. And the schedules, do you still enjoy going to another country for three, four, five, six months, whatever it is, to work? I mean, those experiences, do they still fill you up?

Well, I didn't enjoy Budapest. Let's just put it that way. I really did not. Well, our son, we all went as a family. We enrolled them in the international school there. Yeah. And then my son had appendicitis and emergency surgery, and then recovered for a week, and then had a blockage. Basically, my time in Budapest was horrible. It was horrible.

God, that's so young to have an appendicitis. Usually, it takes years to fill that thing up.

I know. He's four. I don't know. I was like, everyone's like, drink the water there. I was like, Yeah, the water's great. So now I'm freaking out like, Was it the water? I don't know.

Wait, what movie was that on?

That was on the airplane movie.

That you just did?

Oh, no shit. No shit.

Oh, wow. So this first part, I mean, everyone's had a shit year, it seems But the first part of our year was pretty bad.

But to Sean's question, are you a big nester? Now that you're back home, do you love just not going anywhere?

Yeah, I don't go anywhere. Yeah, me neither. I stay in my radius of school drop off and neighborhood restaurants. I don't lose the valley.

It's nice, isn't it?

You go in there to that Bob's Big Boy, you get in there?

Oh, I love that place. I like the car nights, but I never want to eat there.

Bob's Big boy.

I love it.

Don't cool it, man. It's not going anywhere.

We're not going to be done with this for another 20 minutes.

Guys, start the car. I was in London just yesterday, actually. What's today? Tuesday? Yeah. I just did my last show. I did a play there, Kirsten, and it was...

Finally, a final good night. A final good night for us.

Every Sunday, we would go to Five Guys, the burger place. Yeah. Will FaceTime me and Scotty on our walk to Five Guys. He goes, Where are you going? I go, he goes, Are you on your way to Five Guys to get a burger? I go, Yeah. He goes, By the look of you both, you're going to walk out of there. You're going to walk out of there looking like 10 guys or something.

More like 10 guys. Am I right? Am I right? It's this thing.

It's so stupid. But I love those old burger joints, like Bob's Big Boi and stuff. There's a lot of them in the valley, like old pizza places in the valley that are really great.

I'm going to say something controversial.

There's Chilly John's, too. Have you been to Chilly John's? That place is a real relic. It's on- Wait, right across the street from- Riverside and Coldwater?

Is that the place?

No. Chilly John's is on... Is it Magnolia or Burbank? I think it's Burbank, and it's very cool, old school.

Have you guys done Apple Pan? You must have done Apple Pan. Yes, of course.

But that's over the hill.

Yeah, Apple Pan is a mess.

That's over in Pico. I'm going to say something controversial. There are burger places that everybody talks about that I I just think are really overrated.

Like?

Like? Well, I don't want to name it. In and out? I want to raise people's boats, but I'm not going to name things that I don't like my names.

That's super courageous. Well, I will say our friend on Sunday makes a burger-Yes, the best. Very much on par with In and Out. Oh, my God.

It is-I would say better.

Yeah. I would say better. I was so yummy. I could be with you.

I would say better. Wow. It's really delicious.

You have to come- Let's go around the horn here. If you could have only one classic junk food as your final meal, would it be like a burger? Would it be pizza? Would it be grilled cheese? That's a great question. I will go first. I think it's going to be pizza, and I'm going to have a side of well-done fries. Okay.

Oh, yeah. I would do.

Yeah. Yeah, you go. No, you go, Sean.

I was spaghetti.

Okay. Really? That's not junk food.

It's so Sean Hayes. This guy... Can I have some ice cream? Yeah, what flavor? Vanilla. That's it. That's his goat. He loves it so much with a glass of milk.

Well, you know why? Mother's milk. It's mother's milk.

Kirstie, what would you have? What would you be your ultimate junk food?

Well, junk food.

I mean, comfort food.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It could be grilled cheese.

I think I honestly, I might do In-N-Out cheeseburger with a chocolate shake.

Just a single?

Well, cheeseburger, extra spread, no onions is my vibe.

So not the double-double?

No.

Extra spread, though. I like your style. You're not doing the spread on the side. You want them to slatter it right on. Yes. Good for you. You got to eat it quick for the bun gets soggy.

Yeah, that's why I turn the air conditioning off when I get takeout for home. I'm like, AC off. This shit, it better be rolled up in the bag real tight. I hate when people come home with an open box of in and out. I do, too.

What's the point?

Take it back. So, AC off because you want to keep your burger hot? Yes. God, I love you. That is extra level right there.

That is really interesting. I'm with you on that.

Wait, can I go back to work for a second?

No, wait. Arnett hasn't declared.

Oh, yeah, sorry.

I'd go pizza, too. I'd go pizza and chocolate shake.

What pizza is it?

It would probably be more than likely just a cheese pizza. Maybe with some meat on it, may I say sausage. Some nice meat.

Some sausage. I want some sausage and some onions. Is that a crispy or is that a soft?

No, it's got to have a crispy crispy undercarriage, as they say.

Black bottom.

Not necessarily Black bottom, but I just got to have some crispy to it. When I see people eat pizza and put the crust to the side and they don't eat the crust, I'm like, Are you a communist? What are you doing?

In college, I used to eat the pizza and then save the crust and dip it in peanut butter after. Ew.

God, you shit.

Peanup butter?

Yeah, because it was just bread. I mean, ranch.

Shon, I mean this with all respect. You fat fuck.

Wait, I want to ask more work stuff. It's Kirsten Dunst. I know.

I know. Me too.

I want to ask something. I want to know, do you have any routine things that you do before a shoot, after a shoot, during a shoot or something that you're consistent about? I'm about to start a job, so this is how this is going to go. I'm going to make sure I do blank, blank, blank.

Like practicing your faces or...

In the mirror. Yeah. Anything I Are you big on research?

Are you big on getting them studying your character and figuring out what they have in their pockets and all that?

They have a secret. My characters have a secret.

What do I do? I do dream work. That's my main thing I do. Oh, yeah.

What's that?

I like that.

What is dream work? What is dream work?

I just said the first time.

You did? Yeah.

Is that the company that was started by David Geffen? Come on, man.

Yes, you're on the right. No, no, no.

Wait, Kirsten, I I don't know what dream work is.

There's a couple acting coaches, you could call them, but they're more than that. But my lady is someone who's done it. Her mom did it, too. You basically ask yourself questions and write yourself a note at night of what you want to find out about your character. Then whatever you dream, you write it down and you discuss it with her and implement it into the script. Oh, that's cool.

That's really cool.

I love that. But regardless Is it the basis of whether the dream had anything to do with the question or your character, it's just whatever your dream scenario was, you incorporated into your character's backstory.

Well, you're writing yourself a specific note at night. You're asking your unconscious to give you something that you can implement. Yeah. Yeah.

Got you.

That's cool. Then when you're done with the movie, you write yourself a note, I'm done with this character, blah, blah, blah, and sign out.

There's your routine. There's your thing that you do.

That's pretty rad.

That is pretty cool.

We'll be right back.

Now, back to the show.

Are you good at remembering lines?

I'm getting worse.

Yeah.

I'm so bad.

It's coming for all of us.

Really? I'm getting so bad that if I read a script and the person talks a lot, I'm like, I don't know if I can do this.

If somebody brought you a one-woman show on Broadway right now.

Oh, hell no. Hell no.

Our buddy John Krasinski just did one. He knocked me out. My God, was that awesome? Just fucking unreal. It looks like Billy Crudup has done it a bunch of times.

Yeah, they're both men. See, women multitask.

No, Laura Lynn has done it a few times. She's nailed it.

You can do it. I don't know. It's weird to me. I don't like the idea of doing a play.

It's a lot of work. Let's be honest. It's a lot of work, right, Sean? I know. Sean just came off basically two and a half years of doing this play.

That sounds so tiring to me.

I did it over 200 times.

Are you okay? You got a Tony out of it. Got a Tony. I mean, at least you got the Tony.

I know what you mean, Kirsten. You don't do it for the financial because theater doesn't pay, but you do it because of a thing inside as an actor that you just wouldn't otherwise get the opportunity, maybe, or you get that character that you've always wanted to play out of you. So you're like, great, I did that, and now that's done, and now I can go do maybe another character.

Do you ever think about the audience judging you, though? Like, oh, that person's just coming to see the girl from Spider-Man. You know what I mean? I feel a little weird.

The Girl from Spider-Man. That's the name of the play.

I don't know. It's just maybe when I'm older, I'll like it. Listen, one of the only live things I did was Center It Live once, and I had the best time of my life. But I grew up watching that show. Like, literally one of the best times of my life.

How was that experience?

I had one of the best times of my life.

You just said it. No, but I mean, it's specifically, what was the...

Well, I grew up watching the show, as do my kids now. They'll call out people and be like, Will you put on the Bill Hater puppet sketch for me? I show them Chris Farley with the Colombian coffee, the decaf Colombian coffee freaking.

Wait, I got to see that.

It's one of the funniest sketches ever. We used to call our youngest, Well, he's Baby Chris Farley, but I don't know where I'm going with this.

You were talking about the specifics of what you loved about the week on SNL.

When I was younger, I played Data Carvie's grandchild when he was George Bush on the couch eating popcorn as an extra. No way. And I was with Victoria- Jackson. Yeah, thank you. In one of her spoof commercials, too. So it's like such a legacy thing for my family.

Yeah, it felt Did they show that clip when you hosted?

Yeah, they did. No way.

Yeah. Oh, that's cool. And it's in the... When you walk in the main hallway, when you get there, little me is in with Dana Carby on the couch. That's cute. It was one of the... Yeah, it was so... I loved it so much. I loved it.

That's great. What do you do when you're not working on films and stuff and moming? What do you love to do? What do you fill your time with? You're just like, nothing. Shopping, walking around to What was it like?

I, honestly, the other day, I dropped them off. I went to Pilates. I did do that. And then I just watched TV. I want to lay in bed and watch TV.

That's all. Sean. I don't want to I don't want to make a generalization here, a sexist generalization here.

But you're going to?

But I'm going to... Here, this would be a good bailout. Somebody told me the other day that they noticed that... I'll just talk about my own house. Amanda watches all of her TV in bed. I watch all of my TV on the couch. Yeah, on the couch. I find that that is not uncommon. I said that pretty well, didn't I? You were fair.

You did a really That was a good job.

That was very good. Why do you think that is an uncommon thing?

As it relates to gender, you mean?

Okay, Sean said it.

No, I didn't know what you meant. Or just people, or just some people like to watch TV.

I've I tried to watch TV in bed, and I feel like I'm getting bed sores. Yeah, I feel that way. I need to be able to shift around a lot.

I always think the bed is for sleeping, and so that if I start watching something in bed, then it's going to mess with my sleep.

Yeah, and Scott, he can't sleep unless the TV's on. He Can't not fall asleep unless the TV's on.

Scotty can.

Yeah.

I don't know. We're going to be right with you. Hold on.

Yeah. Do you fall asleep with the TV? Do you fall asleep with the TV on, Kirsten?

No.

You got a TV in the bedroom, though. Hell, yeah. Yeah, Well, yeah. Some people don't. We got one.

Does Jessie watch it? Yeah. To go to sleep?

No, not to go to sleep, just to enjoy.

But what about will you... Because Amanda and I often fall asleep where she's watching her iPad and then I'm watching the TV, but she's got to have the fucking headphones on. I want a photo of that. So that she can hear her iPad and not hear what I'm listening to on the TV. But it really only lasts about 10 minutes.

But that's on the couch. She's down in your room with you and she's on the couch.

No, this is when I eventually go upstairs and I get in bed.

And you turn the TV on when you're in bed.

Yeah, she's got the iPad already going. I got to bring her her headphones. She puts those on, and then I turn on the TV and let it rock me out.

You guys should try something called talking to each other. Huh? Well, what are you doing? Relating, Jason. Can I... Let me come over and help your marriage. Just give me 10 minutes to help your marriage.

Kirstin, is there somebody that you dreamed of working with that you haven't with? Because it seems like you've worked with all the great, great, great people.

I mean, the one is Paul Thomas Anderson. I feel like that's everyone.

I hear that A new movie is going to be the thing.

Yeah, it looks sick. But he did recommend me for Melancholia. So that was cool.

Oh, we did? Yeah, that's cool. Well, Jessie could put in a good word for you. He's worked with him at least once.

I mean, I have his phone number. He randomly emails me sometimes, so I have those saved.

Just start sending him just random headshots of you from over the years. He did.

He called me once and he was like, I need to talk to you about something. And I was like, Oh, my God. Like, this is going to happen. And then we played tag forever. Then we finally got in touch and he was like, Ask me about what it was like working with this other actor.

Because he's thinking about giving them a job.

I was like, You know how mean that was of you? Yeah. That was not cool to do that.

I can't imagine the pressure. He must feel so much pressure like every actor that he ever talks to, they're just hitting on him.

Is this my moment?

Yeah. What can I do to make a good impression on him?

Yeah.

I know. Well, it'll come. Listen, it'll Manifestation, too. You can manifest anything. I mean, of course it's going to happen. Is that right?

Will, what does the universe say about that?

By the way, it's true.

You don't need to raise your eyebrows up. You're talking about manifest.

You want to fucking fight me on this?

Give me your pitch on manifestation.

Put it out there.

You're saying ask the universe for what you want, and it's going to happen?

Yeah. You know what I always say? Why not me? Why not me?

Well, why don't you just let them? I could let them, too.

Mel Robin. Mel Robin. Thank you.

Mel Robin. We'll be right back. We've been doing this lately where we try to go to commercial.

Just like, we throw to commercial. And we'll be right back.

How did you and Jesse meet?

We met on Fargo, season two. Oh. Yeah. It's so funny. I remember seeing him at the airport, us meeting at LAX for the first time so clearly. We just were- He doesn't remember it that way.

You said that it's almost like he doesn't remember it.

No, no. I just like, you don't often remember meeting the first meeting with someone you could picture it in your brain really clearly.

Yeah. Well, but can you say why you remember it so clearly?

I don't know why. It's like one of those things that while I remember that moment, even though I didn't know this was my future husband.

When did the flirt start? Can you tell us?

The flirt? I think we were so soulmate and mesh in our characters, too. But also the way we worked. I just felt like I didn't want to not be near him is what I thought.

I love that.

Yeah. Even at lunchtime, I'd be like, What are you doing for lunch? You know? Yeah. Whatever. Let's make a sandwich at Crafty because... Whatever.

Who asked who first, whether they were involved in a relationship?

We both knew. Oh, we were both in relationships.

Right. So then it was respectful all the way through.

Yeah, totally respectful. And then we just kept in touch, and then both were out of our relationships. We didn't get together until a year after.

Okay.

Yeah. South by Southwest was our first hangout.

Copy that.

Hot Austin summer night.

Back to one. You know.

Still rolling.

We'd be remiss if we didn't talk a little bit about roof, man. So J. B, you saw this movie. It's amazing.

Roofman- I saw this movie. I give it a huge, huge thumbs up.

Directed by the great Derek Sanfrance, right? And co-starring Channing Tatum. It's based on a true story about a dude who lives inside of Toys R Us for a couple of months?

Yes, he does. He basically robbed like 45 McDonald's through the roof. That's why they call him the Roof Man. Yeah, this is all true. Really? Yeah. He hid out in a Toys R Us for six months.

Yeah. You know me, I'm a dark idiot. I keep waiting for this film to get scary and bleak and dark and crime. But this film has such a great spirit and warmth about it, even though it's centralized around a character that's breaking the law left and right. It's not like an overtly Robin hood thing where they I've earned it all, but it is. But there's just such great... There's a tone throughout it that Derek Sey and Francis pulls through it that is just such a high wire act that's so cool. Kirsten, you and Channing do such a great job of maintaining that, too. I don't know. I think it's just one of the hardest things in the world to keep something winning and watchable all the way through.

Yeah, not be sappy or corny or feel manipulative. Yeah, heavy-handed.

It never gets earnest, although it's a very warm movie. I don't know. It's very hard to describe, but I highly recommend it.

It's really-Yeah, and Kirsten, I love that. I can't wait to see it. Do you find yourself as long as you've worked, integrating yourself towards whether you get credit for it or not, a producerial role when you choose your acting gigs? Meaning, I like this part. I want to meet with the director or whatever it is, but I have these things to say about how to improve my role in it so that it works for me or whatever the thing is.

I mean, I did that on a TV show, but I feel like it's both those movies that I did, Roofman and the plane movie, we're so developed that it's not really... You know? Yeah.

You're just like, great. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, I would have done anything with Derek. Right. So this isn't a part, personally, that I would naturally maybe gravitate towards. Awards, but I wanted to, again, work with him for the experience. I just... Yeah.

Was it everything you hoped it would be working with him? Yes.

How about that? Yeah.

That's so cool when that happens.

I want to work with him again.

Yeah. Here he's a great guy. I've never met him. And Channing is just the greatest ever.

I love him. He is such a good-Yeah, I do too. Such a good dude. Yes. He's one of the real ones. Yeah.

I mean, honestly, and obviously, Derek is such a great filmmaker, and his movies are little movies. And when When I say that, I don't mean in terms of just in terms of compared to some of these huge movies that get made these days that are all based on IP and whatever. He has these really great little story-driven movies that he makes with great characters. You've done all of it as we mentioned before, you've done- Both.

It's amazing. You've got great stance in both.

Now, when you look to do stuff, so as you sit here and you're at home and Jessie's off working and you're thinking, Okay, I'm going to do my next thing. Do you have a plan? Do you go like, I want to to hit this note next, or do you just wait?

I wait, but also I'd like to do something fun. I just want to have fun. I want to do a comedy or do something big and fun.

That's the thing we talk about on the show sometimes. Where are those movies? Why do they not make those big fun studio ensemble comedies anymore?

I think they will soon. Really? I think they have to. Yeah, because the world around us is too dark.

It sure is.

I think people just have to... I I think people are going to want to crave or going to start craving that. I don't know when, but I think- I feel you.

I want to direct a comedy next. I think sometimes, who's I talking about this? This idea that when we're in times that are dark, people don't have as much of an appetite for these big, actiony, fun, pithy movies because it's not where they're at. It's often a reflection of if everything feels calm in our culture, then we can just go and do these big, goofy things. When it's not calm, it's hard for people to let go. It's weird because you'd think that they'd want to have the escapism, but they actually don't.

Yeah, scary movies are actually doing really well. There you go. We weapons. Oh, my God, that movie's good.

You love that Weapon.

I do love that Weapon.

I know.

Have you seen that, Kirsten Weapon?

I haven't seen it yet. No.

Do you watch movies? Go to Jason's house. He's showing it about every two hours.

Do you watch movies, at home? Do you like movies? By yourself or with your kids or whatever?

I like going to the movie theater. I'll take them to the movie theater. If I watch a movie at home, I fall asleep.

Yeah. Have your kids seen all the classics like E. T, Star Wars, all those things.

They're too young for that. They're four and seven. Yeah, it's not like... But you know what?

My little guy- Why was seven when Star Wars came out?

Hey, son, she hasn't shown them Star Wars. Don't be a jerk.

Fuck. Okay, go ahead. Sorry.

No, my four-year-old likes Venom, the first Venom, which I probably shouldn't have shown him.

That's so weird. That's so weird. The four-year-old loves Venom. So does my little guy. Oh, my God. My five-year-old likes Venom, too.

Really? I mean, we're probably not good parents for showing them, but whatever.

I saw The Exorcist when I was eight or nine.

Yeah, I thought it was that young, too.

I should not be seeing that movie.

Also, my child was begging me, my four-year-old, to watch Jaws. I was like, Okay, Jessie and I showed him the first 10 minutes and tried to explain that the girl is being pulled around on a rope.

Yeah, and now he won't go near the ocean.

She's getting eaten alive in the shark. No, he went. He went.

He did.

He still went, yeah.

Nowhere near Santa Monica Pier, though. But I had to talk them down.

Well, listen, Kirstin, we I'm not going to wait so much of your time. You're such a delight.

I mean, I could talk to you guys for a while. I know.

We can.

No zero pressure vibe.

I'm coming over. I'm coming over later this afternoon.

Great. Come over. Come have coffee with me.

Sometimes those interviews, they feel like That they're 10 minutes long. You just make time go by.

This is all very easy-breasy.

I know. Jason and I are coming, so we're going to stop by the house and we'll drop off some in and out for you on our way. Yeah.

Thanks, guys. It's going to be hot as shit, too.

You know how to make a girl happy. Yeah.

All right. Roof Man is out October 10th. We're really excited about it. October 10th. Also with the, as you called it, the airplane movie. I forget what it's called.

You're going to come back for that. I want you back.

The entertainment system is I see that. So many amazing things. You've done so many great roles. You continue to do it. You're such as a light. So happy to have you here. What a career. Yeah, what an incredible career.

A great person and a great mom and a great wife. You're just doing it all.

Thanks, guys. Kd.

Thank you for joining us, KD.

Thank you for having me.

It's really nice to meet you, Kirsten. It's really nice to meet you, Sean.

You, too. Bye, guys.

Bye. I mean, that was real special. That was a lot of fun. Listener, you didn't see the bonus moment there with the two young boys, and she finally opened up the door and let them in. They came in and said hi, and Will did his Lego Batman voice, and it blew their minds.

It was fun. It was really cute. Really fun. I love that. So cute. So cute. So, so cute.

What a nice lady.

You guys are cute. You guys are really cute. You got a couple of Cutie Pies out there.

Great career. She's not even halfway done. I know.

Oh, my God. She's just getting warmed up. She's just getting warmed up. I'm so excited for Roof, man. J. B, you've already seen it, but I can't wait to see It's going to be so good.

Yeah, I want to see it.

And then the entertainment system.

I want to see that other one.

I know.

The entertainment system is down because what would we do?

She's always good. She's one of those people. Always good. Always good. Everything she does.

Sean, you get that all the time.

Yeah. J. B. Hey, man.

No, no, no. 50, 50?

50, 50. Yeah. Sometimes you're on and sometimes you're on stand. Bye. Bye.

That was so fast. Bye.

Smart.

Smart.

Smart.

Smart. Smart.

Loss. Smart. Loss. Smart.

Loss. Smartless is 100% organic and artisanally handcrafted by Michael Grant-Terry, Rob Armjarf, and Bennett Barbego. Smart. Loss.