Transcript of "Kate McKinnon"

Hey, guys, now is the perfect time for me to do some vocal warmups because nobody's around. Hanging, pinge, pinge, pinge, pinge. Popcorn, peanuts, get them if you want them. Hey, I got some twizzlers over here, and I got a little payday if you want a payday.

Hey, welcome to SmartLess.

Smartless. Smartless.

Smartless.

Smartless. Smartless.

Let me tell you something. This is why we don't have a video component on this show. What's going on today on top of my head?

Don't you dare. Don't you dare. You look gorgeous. See, I'd have to... You know who you look like? You look like the star of that very successful news streaming show called Black Rabbit that we all love.

That show's amazing.

You look like the star of Black Rabbit. Black Rabbit streaming now on?

Netflix.

Netflix. Wait, it's not out yet, is it? Well, no.

By the time this airs. What's the date, Jamie?

When does it come out, Jay?

September 18th, I think.

Wait, Jason, that's really exciting.

Oh, my God. The show is going to be so good.

I'm very happy with it. We don't We don't need to talk about that. We don't need to talk about it. It's so exciting. I do think it's enough with the London thing and the Long Island thing. Los Angeles and me, my heart, my mind, my eyes, my ears, my chest, misses the feeling of your chest against it. I know. Please come home.

Were you at dinner last night? I was going to FaceTime. Did you go to-No, there was no Sunday Fun Day. I was going to FaceTime you out of the blue because I know what you love it.

When's the last time there was a Sunday Fun Day?

Two Two weeks ago, maybe three weeks ago.

Oh, man. Because we were in New York. I do miss that a lot.

Hot Fudge Fun Day.

Well, say it one more time. Still rolling?

Hot Fudge Fun Day.

Hot Fudge Fun. Oh, you did say it right.

Because you would have a hot fudge there.

Yeah. You brought it together. Hey, thanks.

But you brought your own fudge, isn't that correct? Oh, yeah.

Well, around the corner, that's where it's made.

That's a Sean Hayes move.

Remember I brought my own fudge to my birthday party?

You did. Bless your heart.

You were out of town.

No, I brought my own caramel. You brought your own Toppings.

I brought my own caramel to my birthday party because we went to this place and they were like, Oh, they don't have the full arsenal of Sunday toppings on Sunday, whatever.

That was nice though.

Luckily, our friend Sean organized it Very sweetly. J. B, you were in Atlanta. Sean, who? No. Then I show up with my head in my pocket, and I did it a little bit for effect because I knew I was going to get shit for it. I pull it out. Sean, actually, you didn't really give me shit. You laughed. Kimmel gave me a lot of shit. Then sure as shit, when the ice cream came out, everybody said, Hey, can you pass it? Can you pass it down here? Yeah, I had a caramel sauce. Kimmel was first.

Was it caramel sauce?

Yeah, it was caramel sauce. I was like, Oh, do you want some now, Kimmel?

Wait, Sean, how do you say that word?

Carmel.

I say caramel, caramel ice cream or caramel swirl. I to toggle between the two.

How is it spelt? How many A's are there? Spelt.

Spelt. C-a-r-a-m-e-l. There's two A's, right?

I said spelt. I said spelt.

You said spelt?

I didn't. It came out as that.

I meant spelt. I know, Sean. I know this guy. Please. Wait, spelt is a- From the guy who says Carmel.

Are you fucking joking?

I still can't believe he was shocked that Beatles- What are you saying that as you're getting thrown out of a moving car?

Carmel.

Wait, I have a crazy story.

I'd love a new dad joke, too. Or we could say- I've worn out my Hayes can.

I can do a lot. I have lots of dad jokes ready.

Okay, hurry up because our guest is probably falling asleep.

All right, you want a long story or a short dad joke.

Short dad joke.

Yeah.

Amal and Juan are identical twins, and their mom only carries one photo in her wallet. Because if you've seen Juan...

You've seen. You've seen Amal.

That's That's a long way to go for shit.

I laughed out loud when I heard that.

All right. All right, we're going to get to our guests, but real first, I just want to say, saw Will's film second time. The other day, I'm still- You did?

I can't wait to see it.

I'm still a little fucking star struck when I'm looking at this guy now. He's going to ruin things. It's like when I saw you doing your Tony award-winning play that you're now doing in London. It's But you guys, you got real talent. You're really dumb it down on this show, but you both have a little something special in there. You keep hidden.

Oh, boy, that compliment hurts. Yeah.

I like to balance it out. But fuck me, Arnett. It's on that. Listen, listener. It's called Is This Thing On? Triple Dot. Some people say ellipses. But it's a great film. It's coming your way. I think, towards the end of the year.

Wait, so Black Rabbit comes out in September. Is This Thing On? It comes out in November. December. It's like, oh, December. This is like a big deal.

But if you're at the New York Film Festival, you can see it there in October.

That's true. That's true. Well, thank you. It's fantastic. Thank you. If you're in London right now, still, even now, if you're in London, you can go to see.

At the Delacourt.

At the Delacourt Theater, you can go. How about Oscar?

At the Chimichurri Sauce.

At the Chimichurri Stage. What's the name of the theater? Barbecan.

At the Delacourt.

Barbecan.

What about Oscar?

What about that Oscar?

What about Oscar?

You forget about Oscar. What is it called? Leave it to Oscar?

Here comes Oscar. Hey, what do you know about Oscar?

Leave it to Oscar.

All right, listen to me.

Guys, quick, quick reminder before the guests. I just want to say tickets go on sale Friday, September 12th for our Hollywood Bowl night that we're doing.

We're very excited about that.

Very Very, very excited. Saturday, November 15th, right? Is our show date?

Saturday, November 15th. Yeah, it's going to be incredible.

Come enjoy the chat and giggle under the stars in a very refined setting there in the hills of Los Angeles. There won't be any fireworks, except on stage, guys.

There's going to be a lot of fireworks.

Yeah, I get it. Let's get into the show, please. For your listening pleasure today, we have for you a woman with a real handle on how to make you laugh, but she's not a joke teller. She's an actor of the highest level. Her ability to play characters that are so odd and eccentric. I love characters. It's something you end up watching with amazement and shock as you dab the laugh tears from your eyes. It's why she's been nominated for every single year she was on Saturday Night Live. I think I've got that right. I could not be a bigger fan of her talent and for just being around her. Very cool of her to come hang out with us today. Kate McKinnon. Please welcome one of the greats, Miss Kate, the great McKinnon. Yes. Bravo. Willy got it. Yes. She was still awake. Oh, wait, she's in the Criterian closet.

She's got the Criterian collection behind her.

Are those DVDs behind you or just a bunch of one-ecks?

No, no, they're books. I'm in a... Hi. Hi. Oh, hello. No, I'm in the offices of the publisher of the book that I'm here to promote.

Okay, let's just start right off with it.

But we We don't have to talk about that right away, but we should at some point.

No, let's pretend like we're not. Let's let it come up organically.

The name of the new book is Purple Pearl. It's about a deep sea diver. Take it from there. Jason, that's her volume.

Okay, this is the-Oh, she's putting her glasses on.

That means she wrote a book.

No, I just... These are fake glasses that I wear to feel more comfortable. That's incredible. They provide a barrier between me and my interlocutorus that I need in order to feel safe. I can see you, but you can't come close to me.

Wait, are you reading from the book right now? Is this the first chapter of the book? Wow.

I have never been on a podcast before.

No, truly? Are you serious?

Is this your first podcast? I've never been. No way. Yes. No way. I'm afraid.

No, don't be. We're super safe. We're just ringing out. This is a safe place. No one can see you. They can just hear you. No one, yeah. Even though you look incredible.

Even though I have these glasses on to protect.

Are Are you literally in a closet? Is that why you're whispering?

No, I speak in dulzetones. This is my real voice. The presence of the microphone in my mouth is also making it easier for me to speak in my most dulzetones.

You just have it deep, deep in the throat. It's powerful. You know what's really powerful, Katie, is when you can bring it down and you can bring, you control the tone and the volume like that. That's real power.

They lean in.

They come to you.

They pulled over. They pulled the car over.

Or they No. They could leave.

But if they can't see you-I would. If they can't see you in the glasses, at least they can hear you now.

Hey, listen, Purple Pearl is about somebody who dives for pearls. They're only purple if they're super deep. So this is a diver that is particularly talented at diving deep? I think I've got it right.

It's a diver named Natalie, okay? She has lost her costume, jewelry, and she gets in trouble because it's her mother's costume jewelry. What a coutume. Is this really it? No, it's not. But I think I've just plotted my new series, so I am going to go Because I'm inspired.

By the way, if you open a show with somebody losing costume jewelry, I'm always.

Me too.

It's a detective show.

Have you ever lost something that you really weren't I'm not supposed to lose?

My phone?

My dad.

That's the worst. That is about the worst feeling. That is about the worst feeling.

You know what you lost a few years ago, Jason, but you found? Dignity? Yeah. Yeah.

I just hit my head on the wall behind me. I don't know. Hey, listen, I want to get right to- Kate McKinnon.

Can I just say, I think that you're...

One of the funniest to ever live.

I think you're so funny.

Oh, gosh.

We don't have to do this. No, you are so great. No, this is part of the podcast. You have to put up with this on the podcast. Yeah, yeah.

I'm so I have to sit here and take it.

You're so funny and you're so original and cool. I just, I don't know you at all. Really? No. You've never met her. Kate, we've never- I feel like we have a lifelong fan.

John, have you met our guest?

I'm passing. We've said hello. Yes, I'm passing. Yes. But never spent time together. What do you mean?

On the road?

Yes. On the road? Yes, I was driving by. I was at a red light.

Yeah, it was at a red light.

Hi.

You drive an 88 Volvo station wagon, right?

That's me. But, Kate, I remember the first time I was doing the My Rudolf show. It was going to be a thing that was only one episode. Underrated.

A very underrated.

Here it comes.

It was your first year, I think, of Centering It Live. Lauren was at this shoot that I was doing with Maya. I turned to Lauren. Lauren Sanchez? Lauren. Lauren. Lauren. Lauren. Lauren Michael. I said, Hey, that new girl, Kate McKinnon. He said, he goes, Isn't she special? I go, She is such a superstar. And he's like, I know. We all know. We all feel it. And I was just like, so everybody knew it right when you came on.

Lauren said that?

My son. Lauren Michael said that, yeah.

That's beautiful. Thank you for saying that.

But now, Kate, when was the first time you heard that? How old were you when you privately, because you're a very humble person, you didn't go out and say, Hey, everybody thinks I'm great. Internally, you thought, Hey, you know what? I think I can make people laugh, and I like the feeling, and I want to do a little bit more of it. How old were you? Were you like 12?

This is an SMR episode.

Were you like 20? When did it start happening for you? Oh, my God.

This is the most intimate smartness ever.

Is it? Okay. Well, I know. Gosh. What it was... Okay, I was in a pageant at church, a play. Really? What denomination? I was playing- What denomination? Methodist. Okay. But like, Northern Methodist. So everyone is just gray and of Dutch descent. Great. And has chalky skin. We were doing a play, Daniel and the Lion's Den. Sure. I believe I was playing, Cyrus, King of Persia.

This one I don't know so well.

You're playing Cyrus.

That's the choice part. I forget that. Yeah, no, it's a really good part. I decided to do it in a British accent to make myself feel more comfortable. Those Methodists, they got to kick it off.

They thought it was a hilarious choice, yes? Yeah. They weren't offended?

Because he's the king of Persia. Why would he have a British... Oh, God. No, I was doing a British accent They were laughing. I just always liked to do different voices other than my own because my own, you're hearing it.

It's like, it's dulcet. It was a choice. It was a choice. It was a way to reach out. What I'm saying is there was a methodus to your madness.

Oh my God. But did you think it was going to be funny or were you doing it to protect yourself and then the laughter was a bit of a surprise? Or were you trying- That's what you just said. Really? So it was a surprise. You were like, Oh, if I bend things a bit, A, it protects me, and B, I get laughter, and that could be nice social capital.

Yes, exactly. Yes?

Yes. And how old were we?

I want to say 10.

Ten? Mm-hmm.

But there were always, growing up in my family, everyone was doing voices. You had to do voices or you got kicked out.

No, wait.

From the family. You got kicked out.

I had a brother. This is around the dinner table.

Kicked out. Yes. No, I didn't have a brother. Where is this? Around the dinner table, waking up, going to bed, just the voices, voices, Long Island.

People were funny people.

What part of Long Island?

You know, the North Shore.

The North Shore. We're talking about Oyster Bay.

We're talking Suffolk County, right?

Nasa. People are washed.

Oh, NASA.

No, Nassau.

Very good.

What about you?

Oh, he's all the way. Are we talking like Douglaston? What are we talking about?

No, not quite Douglason.

Did Did you see that documentary about that guy who killed all those people?

Hey, Kate, hold on one second. Yeah, go ahead, Sean.

The Gilgo Beach guy?

Yes, I just watched it.

Oh, him.

It was crazy. Quick hot take from Sean on the documentary, True Crime Series.

It was unbelievable.

Was it? Why did you mention the mass murderer?

Anything else from 2022 you want to get the audience to? How about Barbie? Have you That Ted Bundy. How about Barbie? What about that weird Barbie? I'd love to be that.

By the way, Kate was in Barbie. She was fantastic. Wait, what?

Did she play weird Barbie? Stumen ass. Back to you, Kate.

We, growing up, our big- Oh, well, we're going to take it back down. The big thing... No, no, I'm sorry. Gosh. The big thing growing up... I mean, the microphone's... My mouth is...

No, no, it's right there. You don't need to throw.

I'm licking the microphone. I feel like I don't need to project. You don't. No, you don't. The big thing growing up was the Amy Fisher, Joey Buttafuco. Oh, yeah. Incident. That was a good one. Joey Buttafuco was my grandfather's auto mechanic. No way. No, really. It was exciting because it was ours. Sure. It was Long Island. It was Long Island to a T. I didn't know- Was your grandfather deposed? Was he deposed?

Was your grandfather deposed?

I suppose not. He would have said. But it was just... My friends and I, we would play that. We would play... We would enact the saga. Oh, really? You would? I didn't realize I didn't realize at the time that Amy Fisher was being trafficked.

Amy Fisher was being trafficked?

Oh, yeah. No, you didn't know that?

No, of course not.

I didn't know that either.

She was 17. He was 35. It was... Yeah, she was being trafficked.

From Suffolk to NASA.

Well, there's a ton of traffic. Yeah, especially as you get into Great Neck. If you're on the Northern Parkway, forget it.

Will, you know your stuff.

Yeah, I do. I'm showing off you.

You've been on the Meadowbrook, man. What is this?

Of course, I've been on the Meadowbrook.

You're from there?

What is this? I'm on Long Island right now.

Yeah.

Wow.

We'll be right back. Now, back to the show.

You did the play. What happened? Did you start doing sketch comp? You don't automatically go from Daniel and the Magic Lion.

Playing Cedric.

It was playing Cedric, the entertainer. Then all of a sudden, you did stand up and you're in Lauren, Michael thinks you're the great next. What happens? There you are.

You're done playing the cello, right?

You played Amy Fisher. You played Mary Joe.

You played- No, I was Joey.

You were Joey?

You were Joey Butterfoot. Okay.

Who trafficking.

He was trafficking. Okay. Then what did you do? You go to NYU? What did you do? What did you do?

Columbia. She's a smarty.

I went there, but I did the plays in high school. Sure. I did a sketch at Columbia, and then I auditioned. I went to an open call for a show, The Big Gay Sketch Show, which was on the now defunct Logo Network. That's right. Here's for Grefsibs.

They're very talented Italian.

Groundbreaking.

This is an Italian critic we have stuck in the back of the theater that's been in the process of getting thrown out for over 100 episodes.

It never gets old. It never gets funny.

Wait, so Big K Skets show, was that the- That was the first thing I ever auditioned for, and I got it.

You got it. How old were you? I was 22, and I thought, Well, this will be easy. Sure. Then I learned it became clear that it was a difficult career. Then I did UCB in New York, the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater for many years.

Was that 26th Street Days?

Yes, exactly. Then I auditioned for... What? Say again. I just want to stop for one second here at UCB.

We're on 26th. We've got people coming in and out. Will, probably. You didn't meet her there, Willy?

I didn't see you there. I was there every Sunday night with Ascat for about 12 years.

I was so afraid to even go to ASCAT.

What's the difference between ASCAT and UCB?

No, but you know ASCAT? It's the Sunday night show that we used to go too.

It's like an M for Tracy. It's an improv show.

Matt and Ian Roberts used to do.

What is the difference between that and UCB?

Ucb is the theater. Ascat was the Sunday night show, which was a big long herald.

The name of the show.

Anyway, so you were too afraid to go to Ascat, but who were you on? Were you on a comedy team?

I did sketch, and I did a lot of one-woman shows. Oh, not a team for it? No, never. But that involved a lot of I did one where it had a cake in it and a full rotissary chicken and seven wigs. I would have to bring all the wigs, and then I would stop at the Gristini's grocery store above and buy a cake and a full rotissary chicken and bring them down. And so I was lugging. Those days were exciting days and just lugging a lot of props and wigs. I had amassed a collection of 45 or so wigs that were gross and had chicken juice in them. They got all chickeny and they got all cakey.

But when you went back, really quick, sidebar. I had an audition for In Living Color when I was like 21.

So a new segment called Sidebar.

Sean, go ahead.

I had an audition for In Living Color when I was 21 years old to replace the white guy. It was Jim Carrey. I go in with a bag of tons of wigs, and I sit down, and the woman, the cast director sitting right across me, and I go through all these characters that I put together in like 24 hours. At the end of it, not one laugh, not one laugh, and she goes, Wigs are fun, aren't they? Oh, fuck.

That's it. Oh, Shani. Wait a second. I had to... No.

How do we not know this?

I had no idea that you had a bag of characters to match a bag of wigs.

I was just thinking, Can we meet one? Yeah.

Can we meet? Give us your best one, Shani. We just meet characters. Sorry, Kate. One sec. This is going to be good.

No, I want this, too.

Give us your best. I made them up in 24 hours. I don't even remember what they are. What shit you done.

Hello.

What's your go-to? There he is.

Hello, mate.

That guy's probably got severe bags. They're right.

Yes.

All right, back to you, Kate.

Back to you, Kate. You said when you were in a big gay sketch show or something, you said, Oh, boy, this was really hard. It's not what I thought it would be. What did you mean by that? What was hard?

Just being a comedian, being an actor. I mean, audition stuff, getting jobs, very, very difficult, and finding your voice and developing material. This is a life.

It's a ton of work.

Support yourself, turning it into a living.

This is a lifelong craft, practicing the craft. I thought. I was naive, and it turned out to be a whole thing, but glad.

It's hard. It's not easy to navigate. It's harder to navigate than the Van Wick between four and six. Am I right?

Am I right?

Are we talking about the Van Wick or what?

You take the Southern state all the way? What do you do?

I'm not a maniac, but I will sometimes take the Bell Parkway. I'm not lying. From JFK, Hey, I'll take the belt.

Oh, the belt's great. You can't put a semi-truck on the belt.

You can't put a semi-truck on the belt. Then I'll take the Brooklyn battery tunnel. True.

Oh my God.

No, but really, you take the LIE all the way out.

Obviously, I take the LIE. I'm not a fucking maniac.

Well, I don't know. I don't know you. At some point, you're switching.

Kate, the plan going to Columbia, the plan going to Columbia, since you majored, graduated with a degree in theater was to be an actor as you're living, correct? This was how you're going to feed yourself.

No, I did not. I never in my wildest dreams imagined that that was possible.

I can't believe that. You're a smart person by virtue of going to Columbia. You major in theater. You come out with a degree there. How were you planning that you were going to tack to a completely different industry to feed yourself and provide shelter?

The summer I graduated from college, my plan was that I was going to dress up as Pippie Longstocking and sell Popsicles in Union Square. My gimmick would be that I would be dressed as Pippie Longstocking, and so everyone would buy my popsicles. That was my professional plan that summer.

Great markup potential on Popsicles.

That's smart. I also was really wanting to teach English in Romania or one of the Balkan states.

Or Romanian in England. Yes. Wait, so you didn't imagine I find that so... I mean, you must have known that even Sean Hayes thought he could make it in show business.

With his wigs.

I got one on now. Never did I ever ever think that that was possible. No.

Okay, so how did the audition for SNL happen then? You were at UCB, you did like Lindsay Shook us came down and saw you. What happened?

I was doing a showcase in LA, and I They invited me to audition, and then I did.

How did that audition go? You were very nervous, I would imagine.

I was horrifically nervous. I was going to The restroom often? The restroom often. No, I was horrendously nervous. But then Bobby Moynihan. Love Bobby. I guess maybe had seen me at UCP doing a one-woman show, and he came up to me and he said, Hey, you're funny. And then I could breathe, and that was it. So I do credit him with everything.

That's nice. Giving you a little prop up right beforehand.

No, but seriously, just when someone reaches out to you in the dark- Here she comes. And all it takes is one. Get it. Because when someone has the kindness to see you- Preach it. Then you get a little bit taller and you can fly.

Yeah, we're going to be right back. And I flew.

No, if he had not done that, honestly, I would be in Romania.

They received you well? Was there generous laughter and warmth from the people in the dark?

I heard some titters, mild titters, which was so encouraging because I had heard that there would be dead silence. I was prepared for dead Silence. Then when I got a single titter, I thought, Okay, I'm flying. But I had also practiced it a lot. I like to wing stuff. I don't know about you guys, but that I thought.

Have you noticed how prepared we are?

I'm all out of questions. Now, they don't let you know on the spot there, right? Do they call you? Does your agent call you? Are we represented at that moment by an agent? How did it all come together?

I don't think I did at that point have... I think I had... No, that's not true. I did have an agent and a manager at that point. God bless them.

You get the call, you're elated, you're nervous, you go to... What was the first day like over there at SNL? Was it what you thought it might be?

Guys, I just was really Really nervous.

Sure they all were.

The thing was, it was just me. I was hired alone. What? At the last five episodes of a season. Oh, my God. I was like, here's your computer. And bless them. I had known a few folks there from UCB who rescued me from the choppy, choppy waters of my own nervousness and really helped me out.

Were you a writer or performer? Performer. Performer, right out of the gate.

I just want to say, with that audition, I practiced so many times. I must have said that out loud 50,000 times, and I felt okay about it because I had done that. But usually, I'm winging it.

I feel like the performers that really stand... You tell me because I only hosted I want to say, I've never been a cast member. But from what I see is the people that really stand out on Sunday Night Live really do their homework and really work on characters or the dialog. Because a lot of the times I can't see you reading the cards. You're so in it. I don't see you reading the cards. A lot of people, I do see reading the cards. Everybody does both. But is any of that true? That you memorize a lot of the stuff as opposed to rely on the cards, you personally?

I cannot memorize dialog. There you go. Whatever ability I ever had left with my reliance on those cue cards, and now I cannot memorize. I can't remember stuff anymore.

I'm not going to give another shout out to Wally. We've done it too many times on this show, so I'm not going to do it.

I'll do it. But he is an incredible card- He is an incredible card artist.

I love you. Do you miss it, Kate, at all?

I do. I miss the people. I miss Wally. Wally. I miss Jenna and Chris, the stage manager, so much. I miss all of my friends. That Jen, she's great. I miss Lorne, Michael's. Yes, I miss it. I miss being able to participate in commenting on current events. But I also am so happy to be going to bed at 10: 30, which is when I would normally go to bed.

Did it get harder or easier as your talent, confidence, popularity increased? You'd think it would get easier, but maybe it gets harder because you know people are watching you?

I expect It was always hard and always fun. Yeah.

It's the way people often describe Sean. You know that, right? Yeah.

Often hard.

Always hard and It was fun. That's me.

That was his high Zoom's done.

That was his high Zoom's done. I had a handle in high school, I think.

I know. Sorry. It's just like, It's just a fucking crapshoot over here, Katie. Look, we don't want to take you down memory lane, but we have to because we want to get to know you. We want to know-Let's shuttle all the way through SNL now.

Okay, let's get to the end of SNL. Let's bundle it. We make the decision to move on. Bundle it. Frightening, but great success right out the door. Now you're flying high, but I bet it was a little nerve-wracking at the beginning, right?

I don't like change, and so it was just terrible. I hate goodbyes. I hate change. It was not a decision made lightly. I was just so sad. I just was so sad. I really do miss everybody that I worked with because it's a beautiful... It's such a family, and it's wonderful.

It's like Olive Garden, that place, right? Yeah. Yeah, good. Like Olive Garden.

I've said that. But then I wanted to- Because when you're there-when you're there, you are eating breadsticks.

Plus, they do have also unlimited bread.

Were you writing books while you were doing this? Where does the writing come from?

Oh, that was something that I started doing when I wasn't at SNL. I always loved... I love characters. Sure. I love big hair and I love-Sashimi. Funny names. Sashimi. Sashimi.

We will be right back. Now, back to the show.

Can I ask you a serious question? What about... What about... Hang on. Yeah, I got to come in. I got to get in there. The Big Gay Skech Show, you were obviously gay and out because you're on a show called The Big Gay Skech Show. But then when you went to the Scenario Live, did you have... Were you out and proud, or was it something you struggled with keeping a secret, or am I an idiot and you were out, and I just didn't know? Or was that play any factor at all?

Bless your heart. No, I was out. It was on the internet.

Okay, great. So it must be true.

It was on the internet in 2006. So there it was. I'm glad. I'm glad it was because... No pun?

No pun on the glad thing?

Mm-hmm. For sure, see, glad is a LGBTQ organization.

Because it It was already done. I am a coward, and I don't know if I would have had the courage to do it if I had not already done it. I would have had to.

But then did you... Is my Wikipedia research accurate? You confirmed all when you gave Ellen an award and thanked her for blazing the trail of kicking the door down? Question?

I did. I think it was pretty obvious the whole time. I did give Ellen that award, yes. Okay.

Wicki really framed that as a pivotal moment.

Well, okay. I'm going to call Mr. Wickey. I thought I was gay before that, but that's cool. No, that's interesting.

No, they're trying to claim it.

Beyoncé was at my table that night.

Beyoncé was?

Yes. She was wearing a dress that was so... Nice. The shoulders were so tall, and I don't know how she saw to her left or to her right. Oh, wow. I guess she didn't need to. It was so resplendent. I couldn't look at her.

Well, the confidence to just know that you only need to look forward, that really speaks to a level of confidence. You're not worried about what's on either side. It's all smooth sailing. Everything's wide open, wider than the Grand Central Park we had Monday at 10: 00 PM. Just nothing.

It's great. It's great. These callbacks, you got to keep your knees bent, Kate. He'll keep coming. Do you think- So stupid.

I mean, before it turns into the Northern state, sure.

Obviously.

Now, do you think that- The Triburro is my favorite bridge.

I don't know about you.

I do. Really? I like the Triburro.

Not the GWB? No. Tappin Z. Trash.

That's way too far north.

What's that called?

Cuomo? Hey, you know what's underrated is the Queensborough.

I love, I also love the Queensborough.

Queensborough Bridge is pretty good.

Also referred to as the Midtown Bridge or the 52nd Street Bridge? No.

Never referred to as that. So, Kate, it is up in Midtown. It is up in... It's the one that empies out right there.

I could talk parkways with you all day, Will. I really could. This is fun You love the Cross Bronx- Expressway?

Yeah. I do like the Cross Bronx.

What is the name of the Polish Bridge, Kajanoski or whatever?

Kajanoski. Polaski. Kajanoski Bridge that's on the BQE.

Yeah. That's the Polaski. Wait, she's got the first word. No, is that right? Yeah. She's got the first name.

You've got the last name. I'm sorry. This Kajanoski is into Greenpoint. Am I thinking of the wrong bridge?

No, I think you're thinking of the wrong. Where's the Kuzhkuzhk? Say it one more time.

Kuzhkuzhk. Will, you know what I'm talking about? Help me out.

It's all lit up now. They got nice colored lights on it. Reach in and rescue me.

Oh, oh, oh. Is it not a bridge?

It is a bridge.

But it's an inter Brooklyn Bridge, though, right?

This is chaos. Yes, yes.

We're in a four wheel slide here on the Kistamisch.

This is chaos. This is pure chaos, you guys.

You know, Kate, here on my question list- No, you're right.

It's the Kuzusko. It's the Kuzusko Bridge. No, that's on the BQE. Sure. That's That's the Kuzuzo. That's the one that's on the BQE, the Kuzuzo Bridge. Thank you because I thought I had lost my marbles.

You're right.

When you come off... Anyway, all right.

Guys- On the Polasky, where.

Let's take a look at the live traffic if we could. We got somebody of this Just chop her up in the air. Where's the verre of time?

Get me on the verre of time. By the way, a little sidebar here. I'd like to start a side hustle. I'd like to see Will Arnett host Sarah Night Live. I would, too. Can we get that momentum going?

You never have, Will?

I know. Wouldn't you love to see? By the way, what about for the movie coming out?

Yes, for the movie coming out.

It's been too long.

Who's running things over there now? Lindsay, is she still there?

No.

No? Well, whoever is in there. Let's get Arnett over there, at least as a musical guest.

It's too much. The history is too storied. You know what I mean?

I don't think that they need- No, they love that over there. It makes it for a great story. Anyway.

Bring your bongos, Will, and just play the music.

If you couldn't be-Who told you about the bongos?

I gave you those.

You did give me those. Kate, if you weren't a New York Times best-selling author or America's Sweetheart on the TV, or film, let's not forget about the film jobs, what would you be doing?

Carpentry.

Truly? You and nick Offerman?

Yeah.

Really?

And John Stuart, they say. No, it's a thing that, folks are doing carpentry, and so am I, and I'm doing it. That's what- What do you- But I always said, I have always said- I know you have. That I would make cabinets, that I would want to make cabinets. It's true.

You threatened the world with that.

No, the whole Wiki page starts with that.

I've said that, and now I have made a cabinet.

Is that true? A real cabinet? Yes, I have.

Do you do an Amish style with no nails?

No, not that good. I'm not a carpenter.

It sounds like Are you ever upstate when we're making cabinetry. Sure thing. Sure. You got a handsome old farm, like a barn up there that you've refurbished.

It's fine. Sure. No, I bet it's good. I've got a garage, and I got a bunch of stuff in there. Tools? Bunch of stuff going on. Yeah. That's my new- You got a workshop in the garage? Yeah, I got a workshop. Yeah.

Wait, truly? You got a workshop? You've got a bench? You got a bunch of power tools and things like that? I bet this is fun to buy. I do. I have a lot. You love a Home Depot?

I go to Lowe's. I have a local Lowe's. When I left SNL, I needed to know that I was jumping to something which was making cabinets, and that's what I have done in my spare time.

You've just done the one so far?

I've done a bunch of stuff.

Okay, you don't need to scream. What's your favorite... Are you most proud of the cabinet? Lowe's.

We nailed it. Sorry, go ahead. That was just a quick word from the gang over at Loews that just came through on my text. I'm so sorry. I'm fucking seamless, guys. I'm sorry. I just made 4,200 bucks.

Wait, Kate, do you have a certain thing in woodworking that you feel like you're best at?

Trim, molding, paneling. Same.

Keep it clean, please.

Okay, sorry. Different. Sorry. Okay. Hey, Kate, by the way, this book, so I have a five-year-old. Is this book going to be appropriate for my five-year-old?

Okay, so the book... Okay, so I was joking before about the book being about a diver named Natalie. That's not true. The book is the second... The Plumb Pearl. It's the second book in a series of books called the Millicent Quibb School of Etiquette for Young Ladies of Mad Science. Okay? Okay. I like that. It's a middle-grade novel, which is for ages 8 to 14. Mean. Harry Potter is a middle-grade novel. Heard of it? Okay. Anyway, so- That one happens. Raul Dahl was a middle-grade author. Heard of him? Yeah. And, of course, so this... No. So I started writing this book. I came up with this idea with these characters 10 years ago. And whenever I wasn't at SNL, I would be writing this thing. And then so when I finished at SNL, finally, I had time to complete.

What happens when she starts talking fast, you guys?

Just leave her alone. The Novel. The Novel. The Secrets of the Purple Pearl is the second in the Millicent Quibb series. It's about a mad scientist who starts a School for Girls in a Repressive Turn of the Century Town. Then in the second one, the Purple Pearl, they're at a hotel and they're having an adventure, and they're looking for a Purple Pearl.

No, I do like those books. Middle. What?

The middle. What's it called?

Middle Grade? Middle Grade.

Middle Grade. Middle Grade. Middle Grade books. They're very important to get kids to get... I read Harry Potter when it first came out of the '90s because I was like, what's going on? All the hub of this. I want to know.

In between your Holocaust books?

In between.

I mean, this guy, you have any questions on World War II? Bring him to William. That's a true story.

You know what? I'm not reading World War II stuff anymore.

What have you moved on to? Some...

I just finished- He knows the ending.

I do. That was the I just read this book about the siege of Mecca. That was a couple of weeks ago. Then I read Freedom by Jonathan Franson. That was really good. It's a little older, but I just read it recently.

That's fiction, though, yeah, Franson? Yeah.

It's really brought to my horizon recently. Oh, good for you. Thank you. Were you writing when you were at SNL? Or did you have designs on writing literature in this way?

Yes, I wanted to. I wanted to be a middle-grade novelist. But why? Okay, so middle grade... The thing about Y. A. Is it's like Monsters and Making Out. Love that. Middle grade is fantasy. It's discovering your identity. It's grappling with questions of, do you want to be? How do you want to appear in the world? Who are you? What are you for? What are you fighting for? What are you willing to sacrifice to fight for it? These are the questions of middle grade. I'm very drawn to the genre. Also, these books can be really funny, and characters can have really good funny names. I think names and hair and funny voice are the most important. That does a character make.

Now, what about the illustrations then in these books? How involved with that are you?

I would say that I was involved. The illustrator is a beautiful artist named Alfredo Caceres, and he did such a beautiful art. I did have ideas of what the stuff... Because it's imagination, and I could see it in my mind. So I made little doodle and then he made beautiful art.

Right. So you had some notes. Was Alfredo amenable to your notes, or was that an interesting creative negotiation?

It was a beautiful collaborative process, and it was wonderful. Okay. I described he created.

Kate McKinnon, it's a Monday, and you have to talk to us donkeys. Then you hang up, you leave the publisher's house, whatever.

Not donkeys.

Kate. Okay.

You're some of my favorite comedians.

Yeah, what's the rest of your day?

Why are your eyes closed? You keep closing your eyes when you say that. Kate, when you leave the publisher's office, where do you go? What do you do on a Monday like today? Had you not been doing this, what are you doing?

Well, it's hot in New York. She's going to Union Square to sling popsicles, right?

No, but I mean, are you going to the movies? Are you going to a bookstore? Are you going for lunch? Are you watching reality TV? What are you doing? This is the thing we want to know about Kim McKinnon, okay? Let's get inside the mind.

What are you doing? I'm going to be doing some Stone Masonry later, but that's another story. I do watch a lot of reality television.

What's your favorite? Wait, are you a Love Island girl? Or are you an alone girl?

I have done all of that.

Try Outlast on Netflix.

Outlast? Jason show.

Yeah, listen, I mean, I'm told about it. Oh, you did that? Yeah, it's fun. It's like a combo between alone and survivor. I really like that.

That's an aggregate show.

Yeah, that's cool.

That's an aggregate joint.

Yeah, we got a new one coming up.

Wow, you got your hands in a lot of pies.

Yeah, well, that got him in so much trouble, obviously, back in the day.

You're licking cherries off your stuff.

Hey. Wow.

Wait, so we're driving back up State in your Volvo stage?

In the Volvo stage.

Prius.

In a Prius?

Prius Hybrid.

Okay. Good for you. You'll be there by... You'll be there-You'll be there 4: 35. Well before dinner.

Well, that depends on the traffic on the G Are you a cooker or do you like to order in? I cook every day, three times a day.

Don't lie. This is an honest podcast. Is that true?

I cook every day, three times a day. I must.

What's the thing that you cook the most frequently for yourself? Yeah, you go to.

What's your go to? I cook. I've become a gardener, big gardener. Okay. You have some salad.

You got veggies.

You got veggies. I just chop up whatever I've got and I just- Busta Prima there. I do it. Yeah.

And plant parmesan.

Yeah, that's what I do. Oh, my God. A melange, a vegetable melange over whatever I got.

Listen, I got a question for you, and I want you to be honest with me on this. Yeah. Okay. White Stone or Throgs Neck Bridge? If you're going to Westchester- To get off Long Island? Yeah, to get off Long Island. Be fucking honest. Throgs. No, be honest.

Throgs neck. Throgs neck.

Throgs neck. Throgs Neck.

Throgs Neck.

Oh, shit. It'll landslide.

Hey, You know what? We're going to take it out on a high note right there.

I don't touch the white stone.

Kate McKinnon, you're one of the all-time greats. All-time greats. You're a fucking comedy fucking heavyweight. I swear to God.

You know your way around the tri-state area. Oh, my God.

You can coax a laugh out of people.

She can hammer a nail. She can pick a carrot.

You know how to coax a laugh.

You're the best.

I can pick a carrot. Yeah. I think you could, too.

By the way, you just buy yourself a little discount next time you go into Lowe's. That's guaranteed.

Yeah, they nailed it.

Lowe's, we nailed it.

You know what else? Kate, you nailed it today, huh? You did nail it.

Thank you, boys.

I know you don't like goodbyes. When you're done, you can just slam that laptop and just blow us a little kiss, and we'll pretend it's not over, and we love you. I love you all. Can't we see you again? Did you get the script yet for Office Christmas Party, too? Just check your inbox. Okay, we'll see you on set. I will.

I thank you. I thank you. I'd like to play a different character.

No, we're all going to rotate.

I'd like to play a desk.

You two knew each other from that?

A little bit. Oh, we.

Yeah, we go so far back.

We go back. Burry the lead much?

We go back. No, I don't like to talk about my own stuff. It's Black Rabbit, September 18th, there on Netflix or Outlast, if you like reality.

Do you guys shoot that in Hiram, Georgia? Is that where you shot Office Christmas party?

Well, all I know is a lot of night shoots on a soundstage. Yeah. Thanks, everybody. Love you. Mean it. Thank you so much. Bye, Kate. We'll see you soon, Kate McKinnon. You were very gentle with me. Everybody read The Purple Pearl.

The Purple Pearl.

And get ready for the next bit of acting from our miss here because she's the tip top. Thank you so much. All right.

The great Kate McKinnon, guys.

Thank you for doing the show, Kate.

All right. Catch you later.

Bye, bye, bye. Okay, bye. Bye. Slam it. Or you just leave it. There it is. Yeah. Well, now That is just a nice person there with incredible levels of talent and creativity all packed into one brain.

She's made so many people laugh.

On that wiki page, they've got all of her impressions listed that she did on Saturday Night Live? Incredible. It must be like 50 or 60 names there, and I didn't even start clicking on them because I would have been late for the record. But good Christ. Do you guys do any impressions? Truly. No. Hey, Arnett, stop trying to Google a good buy.

I'm not.

I got one.

Do you really? All right, keep it warm. Any impressions from either one of you? Or actually, Sean, we've heard your British cab driver. Was it earlier?

Yeah, that's something like that.

Okay.

Wait, what's an impression?

An impression of a famous person. What about- Remember, did you ever see that show Take your time.

Did you ever see that show, The Night Of? Do you ever see that show on HBO, The Night Of? Yes, sure. The older woman who played the prosecutor. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, what is her name?

What's her name?

She's such an incredible actor. She's so good.

I used to imitate her all the time. That's very good. All the time. I have it all on my shoulder here.

Wait, by the way, you just reminded me of something. I saw over the weekend, Amy Madigan plays a character in a movie called Weisons.

Oh, I want to see that movie.

This movie is so goddamn good. This guy, Zack Krieger, writer-director. Holy shit is he talented. Julia Garner is in it. Josh Brolin is in it. This movie is so freaking good, you guys. I'm serious.

It's incredible. No, I heard. It's got 100% of Rotten tomatoes.

Amy Madigan plays somebody very disturbing and has got wigs and teeth and a voice. I'm all in. Oh, my God. Is it good?

Wigs and teeth? Oh, my God. I love wigs and teeth.

It's no, is this thing on? But it'll do until it comes out. Okay? Yeah. Oscar is keeping things... What does it... Keeping it tight, keeping it right with Oscar?

Let's ask Oscar. Is that what it's called?

Let's ask Oscar.

It's actually called Good night, Oscar. But I wish it was called Good bye, Oscar.

Oh, Lord help us.

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