Transcript of "Macaulay Culkin"

Are you good at watching the holiday movies, the cartoons, the Charlie Brown?

I do because it's nostalgic. It makes me feel like I put my onesie on with the feet, the whole... The pajamas. Yeah.

Do you have the button, a window that drops in the back for poops?

Don't beat around the bush. What are you trying to say?

Do you have a back flap?

Yeah, but that's not my jeans. You're talking about my pajamas.

Have you watched any of the holiday videos or movies?

Not yet, but I'm going to. It's going to be so exciting. Do you want to come over and watch them?

Yeah, you came over last time. I guess we got to come over to your place this time.

Yeah, tit for tat.

Tit for tat. Splitity Splat. Welcome to a new episode.

Smart Lads. Smart Lads.

Smart Lads.

Smart Lads. Smart Lads.

Smart Lads.

Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.

Jesus Christ, Sean.

Fucking hell, Sean.

This is fucking bullshit.

It wasn't on my calendar.

That's not our fault. Don't say it like it's our fault. Who's in control of your calendar? Is it nick, the prick?

Yeah.

Did you get a deal on nick?

By the way, Sean, he says fucking nick. He didn't even know who nick was.

nick for years has just been We literally said, did we call nick?

And he goes, what's a nick? What's a nick? No, he said, what's a nick?

What's a nick? He's clearly a discount assistant.

We were about to call Cedars because we thought, have you checked the paddle waiting room.

That's the worst feeling in the world. This guy is like, I'm like, What? What are you talking about?

Okay, Will, let's take a couple of... Oh, sorry, Will. Do you want to finish you on that? Yeah. Okay. Fucking Will Arnett, this guy.

Wait, how are you guys?

No, no, not yet. You already did that?

You already did that.

Let's take a guess of what we interrupted in Sean's life.

What was going on? What were you doing? Spaghetti? No. Sorry. Well, no, it's first thing in the morning, so that seemed like the most likely.

He was turning the pop tart over in the oven.

I'm going to tell you right Now, the honest, the honest, the honest to God truth, cast out sleeping.

Okay.

Because you got up too early.

Shurning butter, a surprise guest has guessed.

Our surprise guest is real lippy.

By the way, since you've been away, Sean, our surprise guest has been very active in the chat, which has been fun.

All right, good. I'm a big Olivia Mun fan and a fun lady. Yeah. Okay. Do you want to guess?

No, but let's get back to Shani. So what happened? How was your sleep?

I got up at three.

What was your sleep?

I got up at three. Then I had this script that I had to write notes on. So I spent three or four hours rereading it, rereading it, rereading it, then writing notes on it and stuff like that. Then I was like, Oh, God, I got to go back to sleep. Then Scott was like, Hey, you have a smart list. I'm like, What? And I jumped out of bed. You should smell my breath.

Oh, I'm good. Hey, so what's the process when we're done here? Nick gets what? A phone call or you want an in-person?

Yeah, no. No, I'm definitely going to ask what happened. No, Yeah, that's it. My niece is here with her friends. There's five girls staying in the house. Oh, my God. So we were up late. It was her birthday.

Why don't let's bring them in and have them smell your breath. Can we do that?

So wait, this is the daughter of who?

This is my brother Dennis's daughter, Elise, and I remember her name because it rimes with niece.

Oh, that's a big deal that you remember the name of your niece?

Jason, this is not a road you want to go down.

Right, sorry. Hey, so how old is Elise?

She's just turned 24.

She just turned 24. Take this sharpness out of your voice. I know.

He's so mad at me, but he won't show it.

She's 24 and she's having a five-person sleepover at Uncle Sean's house?

Yeah, it's fun. So stupid.

Yeah. Did they climb into a bottle of something last night?

Yes, they did.

These girls.

These girls? They're really funny, though, but they're in the middle of dinner last night. They'll say the most random thing Are they crazy? You guys, they're crazy. I'm going to tell you something. She's right in the middle of... We were talking about politics or drinking or something, and her friend Taylor goes...

Oh, Taylor. That's what it tastes.

Taylor. Don't get me started on Taylor at a dinner. Was she there? Taylor had a dinner with politics? She must have...

She goes in the middle of the thing, she goes, Oh, my God, you guys, did you hear Jesse Eisenberg is going to give away one of his kidneys to a stranger?

I mean, that's unbolognavable. By the way, that's the best part. That's the whole story. That at least comes over the top with...

Then she goes, Oh, my God, you guys, he's so nice. By the way, I didn't know Jesse Eisenberg was giving away a kidney to a stranger.

Hang on a second. Let's get back to Taylor's comment. That's it.

Was she wearing that cute thing that...

What was that?

Hey, so wait. So, Jessie, I don't believe for one second that Jessie Eisenberg is giving away a kidney to a stranger. Yeah, that's what- That's not just some...

I didn't... It was in the news. Really? Yeah, it was in the news. They go, I didn't know. You guys, oh, my God. Ed Sharon didn't use a phone. Then Elies goes, he's so mysterious.

Then I'm like...

Then I'm like, they all really talk like that. I'm like, what? This is really happening.

Where are they Chicago.

Glen Ellyn.

Glen Ellyn, dude. They all flew in.

Well, they all know now. One lives in New York, but they all live in the Chicagoland area, and they all decided to fly in for her birthday. It was nice. It's fun.

It's nice of you to host them. Jason, this is what people do for family, and this is what people do. It's selfless. Her uncle is rich and famous and lives in Hollywood, and so they're going to go out there and stay in his mansion. That makes sense. What part of that do you not get?

For how long are these A stranger is going to be in your house?

It's his niece.

They are going to be here for two or three more days.

How long have they been there already?

They're a total of five days.

That's amazing.

That is a long stay. Do you know the other girls' names?

Yes. Taylor, Ainsley, Lily. What's the... Oh, shoot. And the new one. No, wait. This is fun. Wait. Julie, our surprise guest.

Alandra.

Alandra.

Alandra. Katherine and Julia Our surprise guest just threw in the chat.

I wish I was close. What did the guest say?

Katherine and Julie, I was close. I was close.

Oh, my God. All right, let's get to who is this person?

This is the most fun guest. Sean, I'm really excited that we're catching you in this. This is the rawest we've ever seen you.

You can tell I'm nervous because I...

No, I know. You are nervous because you just feel you're out of sorts. You're just waking up. You're raw. And I haven't seen you this raw since fill in the blank. No, that was the name of the bar. They had to close it down for health reasons. But fill in the blank. By the way, gross title.

Are you guys going to be the Fill in the Blank later?

Our guest... I guess dollar drinks have fell in the blank. Our guest has been active in the film business for many years, dare I say, most of his life, and not just adult life, most of his life life. So, Jason, this is going to be somebody that you can identify with. This is Kurt Russell. But this is somebody who's been doing it for so long and who reached such incredible heights of Fame as a young person and has continued to work throughout. It's been incredible. Started in films like Rocket Jibrilter, Born on the fourth of July. Then movies started to have more success in bigger roles in movies like Uncle Buck, Jacob's Ladder, and then absolutely went through the stratosphere with Home Alone, Home Alone to Richie Rich.

Then it's Macaulay Coggan. Macaulay was that everybody.

Welcome to the show.

You were on my list as well. Oh, my God.

This is so cool. He's appropriately dressed in smartless PJs.

Oh, yes, yes, of course.

Macaulay, I'm so sorry. I was late. So many apologies. I'm never late.

Yeah, it's too late for that.

No, I mean, just Taylor. When Taylor gets going and then just forget it. You know what I mean? Just let her off I swear. I don't know if you heard about Ed Sheeran, but it's so mysterious.

Macaulay.

Macaulay Culkin.

Hi, guys. Where are we finding you today?

I'm in Los Angeles. Yeah. Yeah?

Oh. What part?

I live in The Lake.

The Lake. I've done a lot of time there.

I like how you make it sound like a prison. No. I spent a lot of time there.

I love it there. They got one of the greatest golf clubs in all of America there at Lakeside.

Yeah. Do you golf, Macaulay?

No, but I'm investing in a golf cart. We'll put it that way.

So you can tool around the neighborhood?

Yeah, pretty much. For real? Yeah, because you got a Jones. Everyone has a golf cart, so you're not a Jones.

By the way, you know what's interesting, Sean? I was going to say, Macaulay, what's interesting is that you're an Angelino now, perhaps. You live in Los Angeles, but you're a New Yorker, and yet you played a character who's so closely identified with Chicago. Yes. You've really covered the whole country. You belong to America. How may I just say that?

That's well put. Yes. But I love how a New Yorker is like a Chicago... They love me there. I swear to God, I do gangbusters over there. Do you?

In Chicago?

Yeah, in Shai.

Yeah, Sean, hang on, Sean. Sean, hang on. We just said Chicago.

Sean's also done some time there.

Every time we mentioned...

Yeah, go ahead, Sean. Do you want to just get it over with? Then we can move on to other things. When I was a kid and I was in high school, John Hughes was making all of his movies, as you know, in and around Chicago.

I remember, yes. Yes, of course you remember.

He's very aware. I was there. It was wild to... I've said this before. It was wild to grow up in the town where he was making the movies. Then when I'm in high school, those movies came out about high school. It was all encompassed, John Hughes all the time, all around Chicago.

Sean, who did you identify with? Is it Ducky?

By the way, I got called Ducky all the time. All the time. I did because I dressed like him and everything. Yeah.

Did you ever see them shooting around the neighborhood, Sean?

No, but Lucas was filmed in my high school. If you remember that movie, Lucas, anybody?

Yes.

Yes.

Sheen. Yeah.

Charlie Sheen. Coriame. Coriame. Coriame, yeah. One of the writer's first film.

That was a great little movie, actually, Lucas. I like that film.

I was an extra. I was 14 years old.

Anyway, who cares? Did you sit in a background holding? Mm-hmm. You're on a fold out?

Were you late to that?

And that little boy Did you sleep through that? That nobody wanted. That's right.

Macaulay Culkin, by the way, are you excited? Jason, what I thought you were going to say is, are you excited for the release? Because we're going to talk about later of Zutopia 2.

Yes, very much so. Yes. Me and Brenda are taking a bite of the forbidden fruit. We're playing brother and Sister. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

Wait, who is?

Me and my lady. Oh. Yeah. I'm going to be at the premiere.

Now, what animal is your We are playing cats.

That meow is literal. Oh, my God.

Little kid. Jason, what are you? Jason, you're a fox, right?

Thanks, man.

You had that one in the chamber.

Wait, Macaulay, you're in Zutopia, and Jason, you didn't know which character he was?

To be honest, had no idea Macaulay was in it.

Yeah, no. Are you kidding me? This is animation. Nobody meets anybody.

They don't let anybody know anything. Willy, tell them I'm wrong. I honestly don't I didn't even know what the film is about. I didn't know what the first film was about. I didn't know until I saw it.

I have had those moments. This is so embarrassing. But like Jason, where somebody goes, Hey, you run into someone, they go, Hey, we're doing the thing, and you go, No way. By the way, this is when it's done. This is not going into it.

It's typical of animation. It's done. Every siloed. Yeah. You just go in and you... Yeah, you record your scenes a la carte over the period of a couple of years.

Had you done a bunch of animated You had Seth Macaulay before?

Yeah. Back in the early '90s, like everyone else, I had a Saturday morning cartoon. I remember they gave one to Roseanne Bard, John Candy had Camp Candy. They had Bobby's World Howie Mandel. That's right. Louis Anderson had his own Saturday morning cartoon. That's right. They had to give it away like candy.

Saturday morning cartoons, you guys, was everything for me when I was growing up.

It was me too. Me too, man. I love that. It was so... We're You're a little bit older than you are, Macaulay, but you probably also remember that feeling of the Saturday morning cartoon. Oh, yeah.

No, look forward to it. I'm raising my kids with Saturday morning cartoons. It's just on YouTube now, but it's a thing.

Exactly. It's just on YouTube. What was great about it back then was that you only got it on Saturday. It just wasn't available 24/7, so it felt really special.

It was appointment television. Yeah. Yeah.

Wait, all right. Macaulay, we're going to roll it all the way back like we like to do. We're We're going to get right to the beginning because you did start, like I said, when you were, as a lot of people know, that you started very young acting, not unlike our friend Jason Bateman. What was the age? What was the age at which you decided, or you and your family decided, I'm going to do this? Was this predetermined or were you- Did you seek it? What was the thing that started that said, Hey, we should do this?

It was actually It was my father. He was going to take my older brother and sister, and he was going to take head shots of them in the park. Then my mom was just like, Oh, just take Mac with you. I think she just wanted a break. I just started booking right away. I started out earning everyone else pretty fast. Wow.

Through commercials and stuff, you mean?

I did Blackbox Theater in Manhattan, and I got written up for that. Then honestly, I jumped pretty much straight to film. I did a couple of commercials here and there, but But literally out of the gate, it was Blackbox Theater and then cinema.

Am I right that Rocket Gibraltar was your first film?

Yeah, that was actually Bert Lancaster is one of his last movies. They hired a bunch of New York stage actors, and I was a stage actor who's Bill Pullman, Patricia Clarkson, Spacey was in it and stuff like that. Uh-oh. I didn't...

I'm just saying, Uh-oh.

What was What was that life you first experienced on a film set? How old were you? Do you remember?

I was six. Wow. Yeah. No, honestly, I just knew whatever. Memorize your lines. Don't look in the camera. Find your light, hit your marks, things like that. It was pretty straightforward.

Sean's still trying to nail that down.

No, but that's what blows my mind when young kids like yourself, and how did they know to do that? There's so many kids that can't do that.

Did your parents give you that?

I mean, Yeah, pretty much. When you're a kid, you're a fast learner.

Was the draw the same for you as it was for me? Was it just basically, I get to skip school. That's all I was looking at.

You know, as it went on, for me, as it went on, it was actually the opposite because I was always away and I didn't like... You have to remember a lot of my work when I was pretty much when I was younger, I never worked with people my own age. I was always working with adults. If anything, I had a yearning to go to school to have contemporaries and things like that.

And did you ever?

Yeah. Once I quit, I quit when I was 14. Quit for nearly a decade. And yeah, no, just went to school, went to high school, fell in love, got What was that like? Got drunk for the first time, things like that.

What was that like? Because you had, as I pointed out, we all know you had incredible success. First of all, Uncle Buck is just an absolute gem of a film. It holds up. I watch it once a year. It kills me. You have great tips. I know you were part of that John Candy documentary, too, about, right?

Yeah, that was lovely. It really was a good tribute to him. It really did him justice. They were trying to track me down for a while, and I just kept on just going, Yeah, I'll get around to it. It just never did. Then finally, they tracked me down on the carpet when they did the premiere. I talked to Colin Hanks. He was the one who directed it. I said, Who was harder to track down me or Bill Murray? He goes, You. He didn't even blink. Wow.

What was John Candy like? Because I've always just... That guy, to me, is just such a giant.

Yeah, he was sweet. He was very giving. They always say, Don't work with kids or animals. But He was actually really good with me. Yes, he was very sweet. I did three films with him because he was also in Home Alone, and also I had a brief part in Only the Lonely. Oh, yeah.

Now, Macaulay, when When you took your 10-year hiatus, was there an expectation that your spot would be held for you in line, or were you at that point where you were like, I don't really care if I come back to this industry.

I was Dunskies. I was done. I was like, I hope you all made your money because there's no more coming from me. I made my name, I made my mark, I made my fortune. The only reason why I even do it now is because I like to do it. It's a pay, pleasure, prestige. That's the only reason to do a gig. Technically, I'm retired right now. I retire, and then if I find something I like, I unretired, do that, and I immediately retire afterward. Every gig is my last.

Sean just acts like he's retired. He's not retired, but he just sleeps in. He does whatever he wants.

When you were not acting and you were going through high school and then hitting the college years, was there a thought to study a different industry? Was there an interest poll anywhere?

Not necessarily. I was just drifting around and trying to figure out what I wanted out of life and so forth. Listen, this was a calling that found me. I didn't find it. And so I wanted to explore that in a different way on my terms. Right.

We'll talk about that because I went through a very similar thing where it was just like, well, I'm young enough to really start over and at something that I can drive a little bit more. I can have much more say in my my longevity and my relevance and my access in any other career, any other occupation, any other industry.

Did you want to do something else, JB?

I did. I desperately wanted to do something that I could count on, that I wasn't so nervous about maintaining employment in. I got another job before I ever fully went into studying something else. But was that a part of your thinking at all, Macaulay? Tell us about that, about just thinking about going forward and providing.

I was in a position where I could just put my thumb up my butt and play video games all day long. I could do anything I wanted, really. That sounds amazing.

It There was enough employment before you quit at 14 to cover you for the rest of your life?

Indeed.

Oh, great. Wow. That's great. That was not my case. No.

But there was that- Maybe that Hogan's Family Bank?

No, it wasn't enough.

No, you did okay.

I was spending too much. I was having fun.

On what?

On just basically catching up. And we will be right back.

And now back to the show.

So, Macaulay, but it's funny. You used the expression, you said, there's no more money to be made off me or something like that, which Which I wonder, when you did quit and you were 14, was there a sense of like that you had... Was there a sense of resentment towards people who had made money off you in a way?

No, no. I mean, I got the lion's share of it. But it was also... It was a rat race. I remember when I stopped having fun, I wanted to take a break. And I said I was getting really taxed. And I just want to do a semester of school, that thing. I was not heard. That was something that really affected me. It affected my work and stuff like that. Then it was just like, Oh, I'm on the hamster wheel and I can't get off. And so once I had some autonomy and some agency in my life, I grabbed it with both hands.

But that's a big burden for a kid of 14. First of all, it's a big realization kid of 14 to be able to actually listen to yourself and go, hey, this doesn't feel great. And the people that I'm trusting, I'm trying to tell people this is how I feel, and they're not necessarily recognizing that. There's got to be, I can imagine, I can only try to imagine how I would feel if I felt like there must be a frustration in there a little bit. By the way, I'm not trying to push you into a position. I'm just curious.

No, I was definitely frustrated. Again, it was just like, Yeah, once I the chance to get off, it was like, cool. I said, I'll just figure it all out later. That's what I did.

I imagine that were you, like other child actors, myself included, was it the inevitability of your parents being your manager? Was that the case in your life as well?

Yeah. I had a pretty acrimonious relationship with my father, famously so. As soon as I was able to push him out, just my quality of life on the day-to-day at a higher level, definitely went up. Right.

Got you. I had a very complicated relationship with that as well. Certainly, as you get older, in retrospect, it becomes even more complicated as you become a parent and you start to think about the decisions that they make about being an employee in your life and how that adjusts the dynamic of how you look at your parents as what should be your North Star, the person that you follow, when instead, they now create a dynamic where you're the boss at an age when you're needing parental- Yeah, and that's where their bread is buttered. Yeah, it's really complicated. But I think you look to be on the other side of that very healthily. I hope I am, too.

But, JB, you pointed out before this idea of I call you. I don't know if you had this, but this has always stuck with me, JB, and I think about it from time to time. Truly, I do. I remember you saying you had to keep your grades up in order to keep working, that there was by law. Every six So there was a pressure to keep your grades up so that you could work so that you could pay the bills because you were the bloodwinner, right?

Yeah. Every six months, it was a grading period. You had to maintain a C average or you lose your work permit. And so whatever job you're on, you would be fired immediately. And so all the crew members go out of work. All the network gets upset. And you're a kid. Yeah. So midterms and finals, when you're doing a test that affects your grade by 60 70%, it's just like earth-shattering pressure.

Did you have that? Did you experience that, Macaulay?

Not really. I was a fairly good student. I had a pretty great onset tutor. She was very sympathetic to me. When it came to... She could tell when I was tired or burn out or something like that.

If you're having trouble answering any questions, just whisper it to me.

No, it wasn't like that. It wasn't like that. But she She definitely would lay off me. She'd see me having a burn out.

You all just give me a wink if you don't know this one.

No, she'd read me the outsiders or something like that. Just like, Hey, just lay down. I'm going to read it to you, thing. Things like that. It was pretty great.

You just rest your head against my shoulder.

Where is this?

Say, Golden Pony boy, get over here.

Wow.

That's hysterical. Well, I mean, by the way, so then what we're also not addressing is the fact, so you decide at 14, you're like, look, I need a break. I want to shift gears here. I don't know if I want to do this anymore. Huge shift, and compounded by the fact that you're about as famous a person there is on the planet at this point. Yeah. So there's still Until this day. Until this day, of course. But I'm saying at 14.

Yeah, it was a difficult tricky waters to maneuver through and stuff like that because you don't necessarily have the actual or emotional vocabulary to really maneuver through those waters. I always thought of myself as a peerless person. I couldn't turn left and right and go, Oh, you're like me. It was a very unique experience. I had to just figure it out on my own for a big chunk of it.

I was going to say, how have you adjusted, if at all, how you are in public going to anywhere? Do you feel like you have to compromise yourself and go, God, here we go?

I definitely have to guard myself for outings and so forth. I just set certain ground rules for myself. Don't approach me when I'm at the dinner table. I don't like that. Don't approach me when I'm with my kids. Definitely don't follow me to the bathroom. Things like that. I just realized that I'm in charge of the social contract. I'm in charge of the interaction.

Sean, what are you scratching off on what list? What are you doing?

What are you talking about? No.

I'm looking at Will.

No bathroom.

Sean drops a lot of notes that say, Please follow me to the bathroom.

With an arrow.

Then there you are. Now you take a decade off or whatever it was, a huge chunk of time, what's the moment where you go, I want to go back?

You get to the end of high school and you just like, Oh, what am I going to do with my life? Again, I could do whatever I wanted. There was that thought where, like I said, this was something that found me. I didn't find it. Let me see. Let me try this on for size a little bit. When I was about 20 or so, 2021, I went to London, did a play there for a year, brought it back to the States. That was fun. It was successful. Then jumped in, did Party Monster. Then I did Saved. What play was it? It was called Madame Melville. Was it at the Barbecue? The Vaudville Theater on the Strand.

Sorry, Jason had a question. Nothing.

Was there a thought to go to college at all to study a different career?

Not necessarily, no. Like I said, unless I had a focus on something, I didn't really see the point of it. Just go get a degree in general. If I wanted to study English literature or something like that, yeah, that would make sense. You know what I mean? But I didn't have that necessarily, that bone in my body. Although I semi-regret it because I remember We're visiting friends in college and go, Oh, it looks like fun. But again, it would have been purely social, really. It's like, yeah, I'm paying all that money to be social with people.

Was social life enough outside of college to pacify that curiosity?

Yeah, no, definitely. I've had good groups of friends and so forth.

I thought Jason, you were saying, did you party?

Well, basically-Is that where you're going?

I'm looking at my daughter at college right now and just like, It just looks like so much damn fun. I mean, I definitely had fun without college, but my God, the whole- That's the best time. Because it's like this great counterbalance. Once you sober up and you get past your hang or whatever, you do want to balance it with something. I didn't have that opportunity. With college, you can go listen to some incredible professor give a lecture on something, and you can bathe yourself with something that's high brow. I don't know. It would have been a good thing for me.

You're so wistful. I know.

All I had was Charlie Rose in New York Times to bathe myself.

Macaulay, did you ever guest star in a sitcom or anything?

Yeah, it's funny. There was one long time ago. Jeez, I can't remember the name of it. Yeah, it was great. You were Will and Grace. Yeah, I did an episode of Will and Grace. Yeah, that was great.

You were fantastic.

Oh, thanks. Yeah. I remember you were talking about Nancy Klumsky. That was like when you- Oh, yeah. Yeah, you were like, I know Nancy. Nancy Anna.

Wait. Oh, that's right.

Because of- You were like, you did an impersonation of her. I was like, that was spot on. I haven't seen her in 15 years. But I was like, yeah, you pings me. That's right.

Of Anna's mom, Nancy. Wait, because you were in My Girl?

Yes, we were in My Girl together.

Anna and I grew up in Chicago. Yeah, I don't know what it's all. Everybody's connected as well.

Yeah, it's a small town, really.

You were great. You were great on the show.

It was fun. Yeah, I mostly worked with Megan and stuff, but that was fun. To be fair, also, I didn't know what I was walking into. I'd never seen an episode in my whole life.

That's Me neither.

Yeah, exactly.

These guys haven't either.

So, Macaulay, you take the break, you come back, you do theater, you come back to New York, and then you do Party Monster. I remember that was your big return. It was like a big Sundance hit, right?

It was like a- Yeah, it's what I wanted. I was like, Oh, I saw the... Oh, Sundance looks cool. I wanted to do something that's Sundancey and stuff. It was based on a true story. The book was really good. It was just like, yeah. It was left of center material. I didn't want to just jump into Studio Fair, really.

Did you feel satisfied once you did that? Not satisfied in terms of like, I'm good for it, but did you feel like, Okay, I'm doing the right thing here. I'm back. I'm driving my own train here a little bit now.

Yeah, definitely. It was nice to try those boots on for size. Yeah. Yeah, and look, again, having some autonomy, like I said, an agency where I was like, Oh, this is what I want to do. Yeah, it was a ton of fun. It was very different because I was doing all these really expensive studio gigs. Next thing you know, we're guerrilla filming in Times Square, waiting for the police patrol to go by so that we could film and then got to wait again. Seth Green is dressed like a pork chop. I'm wearing just nothing but just a feather boa as an entire outfit.

Yeah, it's great. Great movie. It was.

It was a great movie. What's the funny- What are you laughing at, Jason?

I'm going to call it. I was wearing a feather boa. It's complete out, but Sean's like, Yeah, yeah. I love that movie.

I love that movie. Sean just woke up.

Sean is very raw. He just woke up.

Wait, so wait. So Brenda, right? Is her name Brenda? Yeah, Brenda. My lady. Yeah, is she... Forgive me.

That's your wife?

Yeah, we're actually unwed interracial couples. We check all the boxes when it comes to- But wait, then you haven't slept together. Oh, Jason. Jason.

No, I'm sorry.

Only twice, really.

Wait a second.

I am the maker of men.

There goes heaven. Oh, look at those kids. Oh, my God. Two boys? Am I guessing right?

I'm the maker of men.

Oh, wait, let me see it again. No, you have to tap it again. I'm a dark Yeah.

Face ID. Look at those things.

Look at that. That's great.

I can't wear a double-breasted jacket. No, they're too boxy on me.

You ever tried Rock in a Mohawk, too?

No, they're too boxy on me.

All right, so when When did you meet your baby mama?

We did a film together in Thailand. I went all the way to Thailand to meet a Thai girl from Sacramento. We met there. We didn't have any scenes together, but we had a lot of free time. Let's put it that way. I think especially she was looking at, Oh, this is going to be a fling. I think we both were like, Fling. She's like, I never had a fling before. We got back to the States and we kept it going.

A couple of kids later. How long has that been?

About eight and a half years now. Oh, wow. That's very cool. Yeah. We'll get married someday. It's funny because she wanted me to propose. She wanted to get married. And so finally I put a ring on it. And now She's in no hurry to get married. I'm like, wait a second.

Is she engaged, perpetually engaged? Yeah, it's been...

I love that. She's about four years, almost on the dot. We got engaged on Christmas of 2021.

All right, now, how do you like being a I mean, it's considering the incredibly colorful childhood you had, are you enjoying having that role now?

Yeah. No, I absolutely love it. It was strange because I didn't really have a lot of... I'm reinventing the wheel, let's put it that way. I didn't really have any good role models. My father was a goddamn piece of work.

It was completely untraditional, It was scary.

It was absolutely scary. Like I said, what a proper family was, really, it was more... It was like watching something like a Growing pains or family ties or something like that. Because I definitely did not have a conventional family.

How many of your siblings? Sorry.

I'm a third of seven kids. My mother did not have a family. She had a litter, a litter of Culkins. Wow, sorry.

Wow, seven. Do you guys run a very then traditional house? Is there Sunday dinners? Yeah.

We definitely wear matching pajamas. That's cool. They have a more structured life than I did. Mine was more free wheeling.

It makes you want to be a better dad, right? Indeed.

That's the whole thing. I don't want the sins of my father being passed on to my kids. Right.

Are you Are you close to your family, your family of origin, like your siblings?

A little bit. I keep in touch, but they're all East Coast. None of them have ever lived outside of New York City. I've lived all over the place and stuff, so I'm a thousand miles away. I don't see him as often. I touch base, things like that. Merry Christmas. Happy Thanksgiving.

How many of them are performers? I know that your brother, Kieran's an actor, of course.

Yeah, I'm very proud of him. Between me and him, we have exactly one Oscar. That's good.

That's really good.

My brother Rory, he works a lot, too. He actually works more than me and Kieran combined. He's just doing a bunch of Indies and stuff. He's always moving.

Is it nice to be able to reach out to a sibling and discuss the oddities of this business? I know I enjoy that sometimes with my sister.

No, we don't really... Honestly, we don't really talk shop. We're a... I mean, occasionally, you touch base on it thing, but it's like, Just because you're both mailmen doesn't mean you want to talk about a male. What about your...

Is your wife still acting?

Oh, yeah. She's always swimming. She's always moving forward. She's on that show Running Point. She just finished season two last week. Oh, wow. That's awesome. She's working on two films in January and March and stuff. She books. She likes it. She likes the pursuit. I don't really like the pursuit. I like the work itself. She likes the whole package. She loves auditioning. I freaking hate it. Things like that.

Oh, my God. Oh, me too. She's a bit of a masochist then, huh?

Yes, indeed. But listen, God bless her because she knew what she wanted out of life and she knew what to pursue, and she pursues it to her fullest, which is very admirable. But yeah, for me, I'm more of a... She's a shark. She has to keep swimming or she drowns. I'm more of a featerfish. I let things sieve through me.

But, Macaulay, you sound so... I don't mean to press you on this. I'm purely curious because we come from some similar backgrounds, but I'm so in awe of your your contentment? It seems like you, I'll take it if it comes. If it doesn't, it doesn't. I'm not particularly obsessed or drawn to any one particular thing. In other words, do you have anything like, I've got to get this done I die?

Not necessarily. I mean, at least when it comes to my work and things like that, it's like, gosh, I mean, I practically just... Sometimes I used to do general meetings for a living thing. The worst. They want a silver bullet idea. You know what I mean? They want me to walk in. They go, I want to play a doctor, but a cookey one. I want to play a quarterback. I don't really have that. I let things come to me. It was the case before the Supreme Court. They were like, they tried to define what pornography was. And pornography, the definition of it, according to the Supreme Court, is I know it when I see it. It's literally what he said. So I'll know it when I see it. I treat it like pornography, pretty much is what I'm trying to say.

Sure. But acting is the thing that you're interested in pursuing at this moment. Yeah. Yeah?

Yeah. I'm on the new show, Fall Out, or I'm doing season two of that. And so we're doing that earlier in the year and stuff. But here's the thing is that you You can't get caught in the rat race. You could win an Oscar, right? You're backstage and you're doing the press conference and you're holding your trophy, you're the top of your game. And do you know what they ask you? What are you doing next? If it's not good enough. I don't buy into that.

I think about all the people that have won Oscars, even been nominated, and there's just nothing that comes afterwards. That's not the thing. And that's why I'm asking. It's like, you couldn't ever be more famous than you are now. And so it's clearly not Fame or money that you're Are you interested in literally just playing different people, the whole literal thing that an actor does? Is that interesting to you? Are you fascinated by different kinds of people?

Yeah. I like the adventure of crawling in these different shoes and things like that. It's something that's just it comes pretty naturally to me and so forth. I've had a director, he was like, Are you doing that on purpose? I'm like, What? He goes, You walk different when I call action. I was like, No, I just do it. You know what I mean? I don't practice it in the and stuff like that. I like just wrapping myself up in some of these things and just not thinking, make it reflexive.

I looked on your Instagram. I saw that you were in Vegas. Do you like Las Vegas?

I love the Vegas. I know. I had to convince Brenda. She was like, I don't like gambling and stuff. I go, no, no, the The food's great and the shows are cool and stuff. Now I got her at the tables, though. Now she's a blackjack player.

It's the best.

Is that your game?

Yeah, I play blackjack. Sometimes I'll throw a little on a roulette and so forth. But I don't play craps. God doesn't play dice. No. Neither do I.

Sean, if you... I've been to Vegas with Sean before. If you didn't pull him away from the tip, if Sean happened to be there for a week, he'd lose it all. It's unbelievable.

It's mostly your lot, right?

It's all true.

No, Black Jack, it's unreal. I saw him once splitting, splitting asis, blah, blah, blah. At one point, he had, I don't even want to say it was obscene. He just come in, yeah, double down, double down, double, split, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, dude, what are you doing?

Yeah, well, when you had a few, you just make I had to say.

But wait. I don't drink when I gamble.

That's the trick. I don't think you can win unless you're drunk. That was my problem.

But I do the roulette a lot, and I almost always win because I just almost bet on every number.

You know what I mean? They look for folks like you. We'll be right back.

And back to the show.

What about the Sphere? Have you been in the Sphere yet?

Yeah, we saw Backstreet Boys there. My lady was living her best life. She actually dressed. She really dressed the part. She looked like a mom that was a big fan of Backstreet Boys. She was wearing all white with a bandana. She bedazzled her own shirt for it and Oh, boy. It was freaking amazing. I was never a Backstreet Boys guy, stuff like that. But man, it was actually really great. We got to meet the boys. They were super sweet. I think she wants to go back before the end of the year. I think they're doing a Christmas residency, too.

Guns to your head, Mac. You got to pick one. One of the boys is your favorite. Oh, my God.

Who's the fuck?

What's the scenario where there's a gun to his head? He's on the bus.

Choose one now. Yes, it's Kevin. Kevin. But he's a fox. Kevin is a fox. Yes, he is.

He was the fox. Kevin, speaking of Kevin, I'm going to drag it back to Kevin. Nice. Yeah. Do you know the story that there is a football footballer. This is a long tie-in. A footballer who plays professional soccer in Belgium. I believe he plays for Union. There's a professional footballer called Alexis McAllister. He's a midfielder for Liverpool. I love him. He won the World Cup with Argentina. He's incredible. His family is of Irish descent, but they grew up... It's like his great grandparents moved to Argentina. His brother Kevin plays professional as well in Belgium, and he found out when he was 18 that he was named after your character for me.

No way. Is that true? His name is Kevin McAllister.

And his name is Kevin McAllister and his brother plays for Liverpool.

I should get his jersey, and I should sign it and send it back to him. Absolutely. I got to look this up. Yeah, I got to get that.

I remember watching because they played Champions League last year, randomly Liverpool and the brothers played each other. And then the commentator goes, did you know that he found out what he was doing?

Was there a time, Macaulay, because I've asked this before and it's happened to me, probably all of us, when you're so identified with somebody like I was with Will and Grace and you with Kevin McAllister, where you fought the attention it brought you for so many years and then something clicked, you're like, You know what? I need to embrace this thing. And it made me who I am. Was there a moment like that? Do you remember?

I mean, it was definitely burdensome for sure. The trick is just relax, set up your own ground rules, things like that. Realizing that I'm in charge of the social interaction. Usually when people meet a celebrity, they go, I'm going to be cool. Then they meet it and they turn into this just something else. It's like, Oh, I'm in charge. I can guide this interaction. Also, I know all kinds of shortcuts and stuff like that. If you want to end it, you just go, Nice to meet you. Or, Yeah, or Have a great day, or something like that. A lot of times, they walk away before they even realize the interaction is over with and like, Oh, man, I didn't get that photo. Like, Yeah, you sure didn't. Bye.

But when you were... How old were you?

Did the first Home Alone? I was nine when I did that.

Nine. So you're nine, you do that movie, and you're still, I guess, living at home in New York, right?

It's the 35-year anniversary of it, actually. We're doing a thing at the Academy Museum later this month. Oh, wow. That's cool. That's insane. Yeah.

So you're nine years old, you're super famous, and you're still living at home with your parents and your siblings and everything, I imagine, in New York. But you're the most famous person on the planet walking down the same street. That must have been an adjustment.

Yeah, it was a lot. I was in an old Irish neighborhood and stuff like that. I'm an actor. I'm a ballet dancer. I'm all these things. So they're like, Hey, what the fuck is this? That thing. It was a little bit of that. But there was also... Yeah. No, it was strange. There was some whip I was shooting My Girl in Orlando when the first Homealong came out. I was an actor, but it wasn't a big deal. And then that movie came out. And then I just remember the old neighborhood kids, just in that little community I was living in, were now peeking through my window. I was like, Wait, I know you. You're Jimmy Jim Jim over there. It's like, no, all of a sudden it's like, Oh, I'm different. I'm not one of them anymore. It was like that. There was an adjustment period there. I to maneuver those waters as best I could, really. I really wasn't given a lot of tools. So it was just, yeah, I just had to embrace it. But for me, everything made sense. You're on a hero's journey. You know what I mean? Oh, you do a little black box theater, you do smaller movies, you do bigger movies, and then you're a huge fat superstar.

That makes sense. That's the hero's journey. It's not until you have a perspective and go, Oh, this is quite abnormal, actually. There's a lot of people who are hacking away at it and they don't get there.

Talk a little bit more about that, the dichotomy of You are embraced and a part of such a huge global community. You're one of all... The whole world wants to talk to you. But then you have that moment with your immediate group, your friends down the block, and there's this thing that eats at you that you're really not one of them. They talk to you and about you a little bit differently. When you go back to your regular school or whatever, I remember feeling so lonely and disconnected with that such that when I had the time and the money to do it, I overcompensated for trying to get back into that community and just partied like crazy and tried to be one of the guys. Did you go through any of that yourself?

Oh, yeah, I definitely did plenty of partying and so forth.

But in pursuit of that, to try to get back and just be one of the guys?

Yeah, I had a yearning. Like I said, I wanted to go to school. It was mostly for social reasons. I wanted to hang out with people my own age. That was a big thing for me. I definitely wanted that. But it's interesting. It's like how everyone you're told when you're younger, everyone's a delicate snowflake, everyone's different and stuff like that. I truly felt different. I Rather than looking at it as a burden, it was like, no, I'm a unicorn. I'm some mythical creature. I am different. I enjoyed that as well. But at the same time, again, you are alone on an island. You are or, again, a peerless person. Someone who's an accountant can turn left and right and there's other accountants in the office. I don't get to have that.

But also, not only that, and then also there is the commerce of it. Did you I appreciate your 9, 10, you're making the deal for the next one? I remember that stuff is published in the paper about how big it's going to be and all that stuff. How do you absorb that information when you're 9, 10, 11 years old?

I knew I was making some bank. I knew that, but I didn't... You're 9, 10. I'm not reading. I'm not reading Entertainment Weekly. I'm watching the new X-Men cartoon. That's what I'm doing. Trying to find some normality in my life and stuff like that. So I didn't really keep track of it. I wasn't told how much I was being paid either. I called it the tiny slip of paper meeting. I turned 18 and I go to my business manager's office and boom, he has all my financials and he just slides it across the table. And it's like, okay, this is what you got. And I had a sense of how much it was. It was about right. And also I'm just very fortunate because a lot of people A lot of kids, they work not just in this business, but all around the world. There's people working in diamond mines in Africa. In the slums of Mumbai, they got nothing to show for it. I wake up very blessed every day knowing that, I came I'm at the other end of the spin cycle.

Jason referred to before about you just seem so chill and together and you figured it out for yourself, which is great. You're in pajamas for Christ's sake.

I know, right?

Exactly, yeah. I'm on the clock.

What What are you worry about? What's the thing that you worry about?

Standard stuff. You want to make sure I raise my boys right. Make sure the lady is happy, that our cups are full. It's that thing. Yeah, okay. Yeah. No, it's standard stuff because, again, if I never work again, I'm totally fine when it comes to acting or anything like that. Like I said, every job is my last job. I'm in a constant state of retirement until I'm not, then I retire again. So, yeah, my trick is I don't look for satisfaction over there. I turn inward when it comes to that stuff. But both me and my family.

What do you do to alleviate the stress? Do you have a hobby that brings you great pleasure that people would be surprised about?

Will, you like this? I'm a big Lego guy. Really? Yes, I build a lot of Legos. I probably in the last... I probably built about 30 sets in the last 40 days, looking at you. Wow. Yeah.

Lego has, I will say, it does have real-Soothing, calming. Yeah. It's like a puzzle. There's a restorative quality to it, to the soul.

You sort things out, you build it piece by piece. You get that release of endorphins when you're done and that sense of accomplishment. I love that.

It can be really therapeutic in a way.

Are you at the level now that... And I am not. In fact, I haven't thought about this just this moment. Or do you go without the books?

Oh, no, I still do the books, but I do some of the 10,000-piece sets and stuff like that, too. I clocked myself. I do just under 500 pieces an hour. I can do.

Depending on what set it is. What?

On a Lego thing? Yeah, I'm pretty sick of nature at this point.

It's reflexive. Yeah, do you have a brainiac in that way, right?

No, I can anticipate. If you do it long enough, you can anticipate what they're going to do next. When I sort things and so forth.

I I'm going to ask you to try one without the books, one of these things. That'll be interesting.

To one of them. That's freestyle. See what it looks like.

Because of that, do you have OCD because you like to make things complete like that?

No, not necessarily. It keeps my mind and my hands busy. Excellent. Yeah, Yeah. Also, it's decorative and so forth. I love, I'll build an Avengers set, and then my three and four-year-old just tear it absolutely apart. But also, that's what it's... Honestly, I like that. It's the Chinese vases or whatever. They build them, then they smash them, and then put them back together. That's the beauty of it.

Do you get annoyed when your boys try to help?

No, not at all. No. If anything, they're on the Duplo stuff, so it's all the oversize things. But I'm really looking forward to building some proper sets with them. And they have helped me. I'm like, Oh, give me that red one, please. They're going to super be into it. They love it. I always get them little Lego men and things like that, those mystery boxes and all that stuff. They're super.

Macaulay, I have deep connections with the folks over in Denmark with the Lego company. I'm going to get you in touch with them. I think that you need to do a signature build, like design a build for the world, the Macaulay Culkins set.

Yeah, open up that gateway for me, for sure. We were just on Fridays and Saturdays on non-school nights. We do slumber parties in Mama and Papa's bed and let clockwork. They like the Lego movie, but also they're super into Lego Batman. They're super into it. My oldest dressed as Batman this Halloween because he's a big fan of Lego Batman. That's great. Yeah. So he was Batman, she was Robin, and I asked him, Oh, what do you want me to be? He goes, I want you to be a toilet. Wow.

That's right. I saw that. I saw you went as a It was a toilet.

I was a toilet. That's hilarious. Yeah, but when your son asked you to be a toilet, you got to be the best thing toilet you can be. That's right. That's it. That's hysterical. There we go. See, just for context. Very nice.

Look at that. That's hilarious. Yeah.

How did you do that?

Did you make that? Yeah, I just pieced it together with Amazon stuff and everything like that. The white crocs really tied the room together, like Labowski's rug.

I think that if you go as a toilet, you hope that everybody around you doesn't give a shit.

Well, aren't it?

I would jump out from behind trees going, Pooh. I walk by, if somebody dressed as a banana, I go, See you later. It's like, Oh, corn. Oh, yeah. I love corn. I had a little bag in my bowl and stuff like that. They'd be like, Oh, I'd be trick or treating. They're like, Do you want some candy? I go, Oh, no, I just eat Pooh. Then I would have a Snickers bar ready. I love pooh. Kids loved it. This one kid was following me around the entire time all around the neighborhood. He just loved the fact. He's like, Oh, look, it's a walking, tucking toilet.

Meanwhile, Sean is hiding in his house with the lights off and a sign on the front door saying, Keep moving.

That's true.

It's so true. No, we know. We You got a house full of candy even when it's not Halloween. You don't want to share with the neighborhood kids.

Like smaug or something. Yeah, totally.

Wow.

I've hoarned it.

Wait, what's a perfect day with you and your family? I know you just said that slumber thing, which is cool.

Yeah, we do slumber party. I really love that. I like taking them to... I'm teaching my boys how to be romantic, so I take them to Trader Joe's and pick out flowers so they can give it to grandma and mama and stuff like that. I love doing that stuff. I like teaching them things. Yeah, it's good. But man, they're at that age. They're running me ragged. Just 40 minutes straight of cardio. Just like, yeah, play, play. He's like, You be the bad guy. I'll be the police and you be the fireman. He's like, Okay, okay. Then it's like, Oh, man. I'm literally setting fires so the fireman can put it out. Running me ragged. But they're that really sweet spot. They are little people now. They have opinions. The way they converse, just being a fly on the wall, it's so That's so good. I think grandma taught the boys, my youngest, who's three, taught them our real names. It's like, What's your papa's name? Is it Macawie Cokin? It's like, What's your mother's name?

Wendell It's like. That's always fascinating when you learn your parents' names. I thought it was mom and dad.

Well, my oldest... See, my kids, they look at like Sweet Life of Zack and Cody. That was the show that my lady was on when she was a kid. They watch that and they'll Oh, that's Mama on TV. I show them Hobo Loned. My oldest, especially, he thinks he's Kevin McAllister. He doesn't put it together. It's me. So he sits there and I'm like, Oh, do you remember going down the stairs on a slay? He's like, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you remember sitting up trash for the bad guy. He's like, Yeah, sure do. I'm like, You liar. You lying liar who lies. That was me. Do you like your shoes? That's what paid for your shoes.

He's no resemblance between you and the kid in that movie. I love that.

He's going to blow his mind in a minute. No, he has no idea. One day, I'm waiting for the big reveal where all of a sudden, he's just going to turn to me and go, Hey, wait a second. I'm not going to tell him. I'm sure some kids are going to spoil the reveal at school or during recess or something like that. But he's going to turn and go, Wait, you've been the whole time? Yeah, the whole time. But all the kids on this planet Earth, they're the closest ones who actually say, Oh, yeah, I'm like that kid from that movie. It's also watching that movie has taken on an entirely different experience now. Before, it was just, Oh, it was a movie that I did. Now, it's something I show my kids. It's a different animal now. That's really cool. I appreciate it differently.

It's such a classic holiday movie. Do they like watching it during the holidays? They absolutely love it.

They still don't know it's you? They still don't know it's me. It's crazy. Well, it has been 35 years.

Yeah, I know, but I'm just like, that's so wild.

Yeah, it's going to dawn on them. It's going to dawn on them, and it's going to be like, yeah.

Like a lot of other parents, I showed my kids, they've all seen it a zillion times and loved it.

They have good taste, yes.

Yeah, it's been It's been a staple. Actually, it's funny. I made a video on... I took a photograph of my son from a few weeks ago, and I put it on an AI app, and I gave the prompt to have somebody hand him a golf club, and then he does a golf, does a swing. So he did it. These apps are incredible. So he does this AI generated video, and I show it to him. And he's like, yeah, I remember that. And I go, you never did that. You're lying. Yeah, and I'm like, He's five. And he's like, no, I did that. I'm like, No, you didn't. That's it.

But I just saw it. Clearly, it's me.

It clearly is me. Anyway, well, Macaulay Culkin, first of all, Zutopia 2, you and Jason. Jason's so in love with your character.

Oh, my God. Incredible work.

Who thinks? You, too, man. You know, yeah. Stunt. Can't wait to meet you on the carpet. I know.

Then the next season of Fall Out as well, you can be seen there as well. Macaulay, thank you for joining us, man. You're just an absolute legend. Loved it. Thanks for it. Loved it. Yeah, it was fun. Such a joy. Such a joy to have you. Great to have you, pal. The great Macaulay Culkin. Thank you so much, dude.

Thanks for being here. Thanks a lot, guys. Bye, buddy. See you later. Cheers.

Bye. Tootles.

Fantastic. I love learning about the All that stuff. You want to ask him about the Home Alone, but you're like, Can I? Shouldn't I? But then you're like, I want to know. That's so wild. His kids don't know it's him. That is really funny.

How nuts is that?

That's going to be... They're going to be like, Wait a minute. He needs to film that moment when they're like, Wait a minute, that's you. But really cool. I like how you said, Jay, about how he's just down to earth, figured it out, parented himself through the whole thing and came out great.

It feels very comfortable with himself and where he's at.

Yeah, exactly. He's got that magic indifference, right? About work and success and all that stuff.

Magic or is it sexy?

It might be sexy.

It could be a little magic.

It's probably just keep him working the rest of his life because he's just got that healthy stuff.

You know the thing about the sexy indifference is it's naughty.

It is naughty.

It's dirty.

Hey, did you know what Jesse Eisenberg came with? Can he be a stranger?

Listen, where's Taylor? Let's get Taylor and the gals in here. Can we get them in here? Sure, by the way, they would love to. I mean, we'd love to see.

Are they still sleeping?

Let me see.

Oh, yeah. We just go in the intercom. How long does it take to get from one end to your house to the other? A while, right? You have golf cards, series of golf cards.

Yeah, Paul. Sean's doing so well.

I know he's doing so well. Come on.

He's really doing it.

Hey, so sorry about being late again.

Yeah, well, listen, Sean, I'm glad you mentioned that. Do you have a second here? Because Will and I love to talk to you about it. Things have been a little sloppy, I think, coming out of your… I'm glad that the audience is not listening to this because… Will, do you want to start?

Yeah, I just said, let me read the thing I wrote. Sean, we love you and we feel like we are losing you. It's okay.

Oh, wait, they're all coming in. They're all coming in. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Here we go.

One by one. Where they come. One by one. One by one.

Walk by, am I saying?

Ainsley. Come on, here.

Name them off as they go, Sean. It says a lot. Hi. Oh, my God.

Look at the... What are you doing, Sean?

I know. This is what-We talked about you at the beginning. Yeah, we talked about Jesse Eisenberg. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. He's really nice. He's giving me his kidney, no stranger.

I know. We know.

What about who doesn't use a phone? Ed Sheeran. Ed Sheeran doesn't use a phone.

What do we think of that? He's so out of touch.

He's so mysterious.

Well, maybe he just needs a smartless mobile plan.

Yeah, they were nice.

Maybe he needs a smartless mobile plan, he said. Obviously.

Sean, sign them up to smartless mobile immediately, would you?

Can you hear? This is my name's Elise.

Elise. Hi, Elise. Say hello. Hi. Hi, Elise.

Oh, my God. No, I can't.

You know what? Ask them to say Yeah. Okay, ready? In unison.

Okay, ready? Okay, we got to go now. Everybody, we're going to say, one, two, three. Bye. Bye. Smart.

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