Transcript of "RE-RELEASE: Matthew Rhys"

Sorry that you guys caught me off guard. I was just talking to Jason's wig maker, and he, um, had said that, uh, they don't make the hair that Jason uses for the wig anymore, um, because it's this synthetic thing, and it has to do with— because it's— they use a certain petroleum, uh, component to it, blah blah blah blah. Anyway, the point is, if you see Jason on the street, just please say, hey man, your natural hair looks great. It's an all-new SmartLess.

SmartLess. SmartLess.

SmartLess.

Are you guys excited?

I'm excited.

Do you know what I'm talking about?

I think—

are you talking about our, uh, we're on, we're on the TV?

Yeah, with the dogs.

We're going to be on TV. I told my whole family.

Smartless on the Road.

Smartless on the Road on Max.

On Max, that new platform. Yes. Should we do— should we watch it together?

Let's watch it together. That would be super fun.

That's not a bad idea. I'm really excited. I'm excited for people to see Will Ferrell. It sounds weird to say. Yeah, I'm excited for people to see— well, we have so many great guests.

Yeah. Say some of the guests. We have Will Ferrell.

Will starts it off, though, doesn't he?

Will starts off, and then we have Conan.

Yeah.

Kevin Hart.

Letterman.

Hang on, hang on. Then we have Letterman. Then we have AOC with special appearance by— can we mention that Bradley makes a special appearance?

Bradley Cooper comes in to change the light for us.

And then we go to Chicago. We have Andy Richter and Jeff Tweedy from Wilco.

Mark Cuban.

Mark Cuban. And then Matty Damon.

Matt Damon, the Matt Damon.

Yeah, Octurtle, Quartle, Wordle, perennial 3rd place finisher Matt Damon.

And then one of the biggest guests of the entire tour is Tracy from Wisconsin.

Tracy from Wisconsin. Tracy, Sean's sister.

My sister.

Oh, Sean's sister makes an incredible appearance.

Yeah, it's really good.

And doesn't your mother's, uh, your mother's right eye make an appearance as well?

Your mother's eye makes an appearance too.

It's all true. No, it's all true, and you can see it. Get it?

Yeah.

On Max.

Don't get it. Smartless, on the road. Check it out.

I'm glad you asked because I don't think they get it. And then, by the way, we come back to LA, and then we end here with Kimmel.

With Kimmel and Kevin Hart.

I mean, we get to have— what a soft landing to come back and have our good buddy Jimmy Kimmel. And then Jen makes an appearance. And God, I mean—

and then what's the final meal of the whole thing?

Oh, yeah. Then we're over at Shawnee's house for some— was it spaghetti and meatballs?

Sloppy Joes.

Sloppy Joes.

I made sloppy Joes from scratch for you guys. Yeah, it's all on the doc.

It's all on the doc.

Are we watching it at your house?

Yeah, let's watch it.

We'll watch it on Max. It's so fun. I hope people like— who knows?

But we hope it looks real good, too. Sam Jones did a great job directing it. It looks real handsome. It's black and white.

I hope people like it. It's May 23rd, right?

May 23rd on Max.

Okay.

I have a crazy story that happened. I told Will, I said I was going to save it to tell you today.

You have some pre-show patter?

Yeah.

You know, Sean, go ahead.

No, this is crazy.

Sean, what have you prepared?

I have prepared this.

Sean, by the way, not to interrupt, but speaking of prepared, there's somebody preparing something in the kitchen behind you.

Yeah. Scott is going to make me some tea right now.

Okay. Tea? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Are you fasting?

He's on Broadway, man. He's on Broadway.

I'm on the Broadway.

Oh, to keep your pipes nice and lubricated. Well, it is 1:00 there. What was for lunch today?

I just had a— I had a— what's it called? Like a Kaiser roll with egg and cheese and a little bacon.

Apple juice. I had— what do they call it? Like a foot-long sub.

Kaiser roll.

Kaiser.

Yeah.

Where do you have to go to get that?

Like a bread shop? Downstairs.

Downstairs.

No, Zabar's, Kaiser. Zabar's is a Jewish deli. We live right near it. And then there's a cafe, and they don't do bagels with egg. You'd think they would do bagels because they sell bagels in the store part, but not the cafe part, which is really crazy.

You got to go full Kaiser.

Yeah. All right. All right. So this is the story. This is crazy. This is going to blow your mind. I think it blew my mind. So the show takes place in 1958 backstage at The Tonight Show. Oscar Levant is the guest on The Tonight Show that night. The other guest, which we never see, we only reference a lot, is Jayne Mansfield. Sure. Okay. Who was this big star back in the '50s? Marilyn Monroe, Jayne Mansfield, very similar. So Mariska Hargitay, you know Mariska Hargitay?

I do.

Sure.

Yeah. She's the star of the SVU thing. Oh, thanks, Scotty.

Hey, Scotty.

Thanks, Scotty.

He just made me tea. So she's the star of this show for, like, 20-some years, right? So she's like, I'm outside of your theater. Come out. I'm like, oh, my God. I came out, gave her a hug. Said hello. We took a photo. And somebody in the show whispers in my ear, her mom is Jayne Mansfield.

Yeah.

I go, wait a minute. What? Yeah.

Whoa.

Mariska Hargitay's mom? I go, your mom is Jayne Mansfield? I go, do you know that we reference your mom in this show over and over again? Did your mom know Oscar Levant? She's like, I don't know. Unfortunately, she was very young when her mom died. So then we go back and we say our goodbyes. I go back in the theater. And I forgot. I text her, I go, by the way, your mom made her Broadway debut in this theater that we're working in right now.

Wow.

Isn't that crazy?

Crazy. Crazy. Yeah. So did you at least offer her tickets to the show?

No, she's got to pay for those.

Yeah. I mean, you can give her access to the house.

Yeah, I can get her. Her dad was Mickey Hargitay, who was like a bodybuilder guy from Hungary.

How do you know that?

I know that.

You just Googled it.

No, I didn't. I knew that before.

And wait, why do you know vague Hungarian bodybuilders?

Look, do you want to see my magazine collection or not?

No, I don't want to see your search history either.

I do. I actually do.

I read somebody in my search history the other day. It was such a bonkers, all over the map. I go, here, you want to know what I've been searching up for the last 24 hours? And it was just the weirdest, stupidest stuff. I want to say, just because I want to be— and I don't want to bring it down, but I got to be honest about where I'm at, if that's okay today. And then we can switch gears. Is that okay? Just because—

Of course it is.

It's very real.

Do you want me to say? You want me to describe it?

My oldest friend in the world, Jeremy, passed away.

Oh.

And I loved him so much.

Oh, well, I'm so sorry.

Yeah, you just found out yesterday.

Yeah. Yeah. And fuck.

Oh, God. I'm so sorry.

And I just got to be honest about it because it's what's going on in my head. And I just wanted to say that I love the guy so much. And it's so— Jason and I were talking today, this morning, and it's funny, we always get surprised when people die. You say it's such a surprise, such a shock. And we know that the deal is that everybody's gonna die at some point.

We're here for 5 minutes.

Yeah.

Did he pass suddenly, Will?

You know, the last few weeks kind of came out of nowhere, certainly. And then he finally passed. And I'm happy he did. He was, you know, obviously, he was in a lot of pain. And I'm just thinking about his family and all of them, and I've known them forever. And, you know, his daughter and his wife and— His parents, who my parents knew, and our great-grandparents knew each other. Our families are intertwined for generations. And he was—

So, Jeremy was up in Toronto?

He was in Toronto, yeah. And he was one of the great guys. He's a— I always say he's a first-ballot Hall of Famer. Just a great guy. You could always rely on him. And I miss him. And, you know, you never— And I was just thinking this morning, and I was taking the kids to school, and I was just thinking like, oh, man, hug the people you love. Tell them as much as you can. And if you're thinking about somebody, call them. Let them know. Just let them know you're thinking about them, you love them, how important they are to you.

I love that.

And I just wanted to say that because it's on my mind. And I love you guys so much.

We love you. We love you too.

Yeah, you're right. It is this sort of like, we're always shocked that people die, but everyone here is going to. Everyone listening will. And it's like, it's a terrible thought. And we somehow have managed this little device inside our head and our heart to kind of put it in a little box and keep it away and deal with it near the end of our life. We just kind of pretend it's not ever going to happen, but it does. And we just hope we use our time correctly.

Yeah, for sure. I just did this article, this interview, and Jay, you were so kind. I just read it. You said such nice things about me, and I appreciate it. I appreciate your generosity. And I said, if I can pull this thing off, great. If not, I'm still alive.

Yeah.

That's my quote.

About the play? So you're feeling bullish about the play? Yeah, it could suck, but at least I'm not dead. No, but the point is, to your Well, it's like, we're still here.

We're here. We're here.

Yeah.

Right?

We're here in this.

Nothing matters other than our health and the people we love.

And the people we love. And I just— yeah, I wanted to say that. Just say, Jer, we love you. And that's it. I'm thinking about you, buddy. And I also know that he was always so quick with a laugh, and he loved to freaking laugh. This guy made me laugh. And so, I don't know, he'd be like, great, well, get to your guest.

You're going to have a nice opportunity to give him a nice goodbye this weekend with all of those people you're talking about. That's right. It'll be a wonderful thing for him to watch, too. That's right. I mean, that's one of the good things about after we go, right? We get to— it's a narcissist delight. You get to just pull up a chair and watch everybody say nice things about you.

Yeah, I love it.

At least that's my fantasy.

I know. Well, it's one of your fantasies.

Right. Just a big Jason session for a full day.

What are you eating?

Right now?

No, in that situation where you get— where it doesn't matter anymore.

Just super salty, puff-inducing things. Because, you know, you can be as puffy as you want upstairs.

Sure you can.

Yeah. Turns out you can be as puffy as you want downstairs too.

Well, actually, you lose water weight almost instantaneously down there because you're always sweating. Yeah, it's hot as shit.

Oh, where you're going? Yeah, you're going to get a lot of sweating going on. That's a good point.

It's a constant shvitz.

To switch gears, if we can, as much as we can, to somebody who's not puffy.

Really?

No, this gentleman keeps it very tight. In the best way.

I really— Lucky son of a bitch.

Yeah, I know. He really is. He's got— This is a guy— You wanna talk about first-ballot Hall of Famer? This is the guy who's got it all. I mean, he's— When you got talent and good looks, forget about it. When you got an easy way about you, oh, boy, you're freaking getting it. This guy's done everything. He's been on the big screen. He's been on the little screen. He's been on the boards, you know, on stage, if you will.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This guy's from the other side of the pond.

Uh-oh.

Oh, he's British. Yeah, well— He's actually Welsh. His first language is Welsh, according to the internet.

Huh.

He's a guy who's done so much, and he's one of those guys who, like, you just— every time you see him, you're like, oh, I love this guy. Everything he does. This is the way I feel. You know, he was— for years, he was on— you knew him from Brothers and Sisters, and then he was on The Americans forever. And the thing I love about him maybe the most is that He is partnered with one of my all-time favorite people, the delightful Keri Russell. Guys, it's the incredibly talented Matthew Rhys.

Oh, man. Oh, my gosh.

Look at him.

Look at what he has going on.

Is he gorgeous or what? Look at the 'stache. Look at him.

No water in that face at all.

No, not for you. Not for you, Rhys.

We have a 5th guest today.

He proved that the mustache was real. He pulled on it just to prove it.

No, no, I'm just checking the glue.

Listener, he's got a 30-pound mustache on, and it's looking strong.

Are you playing a motorcycle guy?

Psycho Cop?

No, I'm doing the Tom Selleck biopic.

You could. You could. Welcome to Smartless Masquerade.

Thank you.

Thank you very much. You know, that's the real terrifying moment, the reveal.

I know.

Because at the beginning, I was like, is he talking about Ian McKellen? Who are they expecting? What is this?

This is going to go—

It's Taron Egerton, everyone.

The real Welshman who can sing.

Sure.

Wow. It's so cool to meet you.

I know.

Very, very cool.

Thank you very much for having me on, gents. This is a real pleasure.

Matthew, I wish— we don't know each other well enough. We've crossed paths a few times because, obviously, Carrie and I are old friends, and so we've met through Carrie. And she's such a delightful person, as you are well aware. And then she's like— I just love the idea. I'm like, you're as good as the people you hang out with. And the fact that you and Carrie are together, I'm like, Matthew's a good guy. He's a great guy. I can just—

No, I just know I took, I took, I took that idea and then I latched myself onto him so that those around us would think the same thing.

By the way, that's smart. That's smart living.

How long did you guys do that show together? Was it 5, 6?

It was 6. It was 6 years. Yeah, it was, it was meant to be 5, and I think the, the, the poor showrunners had kind of arced it for 5, and then FX went, you know what, let's do one more. And they went, what? Oh, what?

We have—

we don't ask.

That's nice.

We had the opposite on Ozark.

That's a good sign on a show. We're talking, of course, about The Americans.

Yeah. And Margo Martindale's a friend.

And dear, dear Margo Martindale.

Yeah.

They were both reunited on Cocaine Bear recently.

Yes. So Margo— and you did— you were in Cocaine Bear as well.

I muscled my way in. Just looking after the kids in Ireland and reading the script, and that first opening scene, I said, I was like, who's playing that guy? The guy who bangs his head and falls out the plane? She's like, what?

Who?

I don't know. And then I said, ask Elizabeth Banks. I said, ask Banks who's playing that part. So she texts Banks, oh, we haven't cast it yet. And I said, tell her I'll do it. No, no, just ask her if I can do it. And she very kindly said, yes, you can come in and fall out of an airplane.

By the way, what an absolute treat. So you're directing a movie and then you got a guy who's got like one scene basically. And then you're like, Matthew Rhys calls and he's like, hey, can I just do this one scene? You're like, uh.

Are you kidding? Yeah. She smelled the desperation on me. I was like, can I please get out of the house? I can't do another zoo or aquarium.

Please. Sean, is it true the rumor— sorry, that's how you and Scott met, right? Didn't you put in the search for Cocaine Bear?

No?

Did I not hear that correctly?

No, I think technically it was Cocaine Cub, wasn't it?

It was Cocaine Cub. Yeah. It was the prequel that they haven't touched yet.

Oh, Scotty.

Oh, Scotty, if he only knew. So you do cocaine, but— and of course, I want to get— I don't want to just gloss over the delightful Margo Martindale, whom we all adore. Oh, yeah.

She's the greatest.

No one can swear like Margo Martindale.

Oh!

She's the best.

I mean, she should have a kind of course at NYU, like swearing for film and television, because no one can swear like her.

And no one can get their ire up quicker and then get to swearing over something that seems trivial. We did that show together, The Millers, and she'd be like— Can you believe they just did this rewrite and I gotta fucking remember this fucking thing and they wanna shoot this afternoon? You're like, Jesus, what?

She said of one very famous actor who's in our show, she went, can you fucking hear the way he breathes? I went, well, before then, no, I hadn't actually, but I can hear it now. You brought it up.

I wanna work with her.

Jason, you will so fall in love with Margo Martindale, you won't be able to contain yourself. Guys, am I right?

Yeah.

Gold.

She's absolute gold.

Now, uh, tell me, Welsh is a language? Is that what I heard you say, Will?

It is.

Oh my God.

First of all—

Wait, so it's not English?

Get ready for the letters.

It's not English. It's much older than English.

Yeah.

It's one of the oldest in Europe.

So let's start there. So I just want to say, so Matthew, you are— it says that your first language was Welsh. Is that true?

It is. It is. I grew up speaking Welsh. The whole family speak Welsh.

But isn't Welsh just English with an accent? I don't understand.

Yes, basically. We just— what we do is try and adopt such a harsh accent No one really understands the English you're speaking.

No, no, no, no, no, that's— he's, he's, he's putting you on. So I've been— I've spent some time in, in Cardiff, which is where you're from. Yeah, Matthew?

It is. What were you doing there?

I was filming there a few years ago, and I remember we had this—

What were you driving?

Uh, I had— I, I was gonna say the driver I had when I was working on that show, you know the guy, um—

Jerry Lockett?

Yes, Jerry Lockett.

Oh, the Lockett Rocket.

Yeah, yeah, the famous Jerry Lockett.

Yes.

What do you mean driver? What are you talking about?

You had a Rolls-Royce. That's what I was trying to bait you to.

Didn't somebody loan you a— No, they loaned me a Bentley when I was in London. I was driving around for a few weeks. Disgusting. I know. It's a long story.

Wait, did you drive yourself in this Bentley?

Yeah, I did. I did. I drove myself.

Right side drive?

Sure did. And then I drove it up to Ricky's, to Jervis's house in London because I was going to have— go to his house to have just a visit.

Who are you?

Who's buying Jervis's Bentley?

And I called him and I said, I'm outside. And he came out and he saw me in this Bentley and he goes, Where can I park this thing around here? And he's like, Jesus fucking Christ. Look, it wasn't mine. It was literally— I don't drive a Bentley. That was why I made a point. Anyway, so you're from Cardiff. We know Jerry Lockett. We've got Jerry out there. We know that he's listening. We love you, Jerry. So we know that you know.

Rocket Lockett.

How are you? And I knew that you guys knew each other 'cause he was always like, do you know Matthew Rhys? And I was like, I do. I do a little bit 'cause I know Kerry. And he says, yeah, Matthew's from here. And he's so proud of you. And all the Welsh are so I'm so proud of you. proud of Matthew for what you've done.

I think there's only— because there's only 3 million of us, 3.5 million.

That's all of— but that's all of Canada, isn't it?

What?

First of all, what is the population of Canada now?

30.

30.

30 million.

Oh, okay.

You missed it by a zero.

10%. Yeah. So anyone who's Welsh and has done anything, even if they haven't done anything, we're just inherently proud.

Yeah.

For a country the size of Connecticut, which I'm told—

2 of them are named Bale and one of them is named Rhys.

Yes, that's it, basically.

So Christian, Gareth Bale, and Matthew Rhys.

Well, there's also Hopkins. You also got Hopkins in there.

Oh, yeah, you do.

And then Burton, obviously.

There are a bunch.

So wait, I don't know anything about you, and I know you. I'm a fan of you, but I don't know anything about— did you— so were you one of those people that grew up and did theater and stuff as a kid, and you're like, oh my God, if I can go to America, wow.

We're gonna get to that, Sean. That's exactly right.

He's right in the middle of a story.

He's telling a story.

What story about a Rolls-Royce and a Bentley?

He's speaking Welsh as his first language. Oh, go ahead.

Say something in Welsh.

Landing the plane on that.

Okay, sorry.

Go ahead, Matthew. And Sean, check your chat, please.

So talk about— no, but growing up speaking Welsh, you guys spoke Welsh at home?

Yeah, we did, we did. And, and in, in Wales, there's, there's a great, you know, there's a great reverence for, you know, performing arts. And there's a very— there's a kind of an ancient tradition, kind of dates— it's pre-Christian, whereby everyone congregates. In the old days, everyone would congregate, and then you would sing competitively or recite poetry or anything of that ilk, basically. And it's very modern these days, but twice a year, all the children of Wales will gather, and they've— it's a comp— it's, you know, it's a competition now, but you're very much encouraged to get on stage and in some form, art form or another, and compete for your school or your county or whatever.

Oh, wow.

So, yeah, so from a very early age, you're kind of kicked onto a stage, um, whether you want to or not.

Really?

Yeah, yeah.

And now, a word from our sponsor.

All right, back to the show.

So, you grow up, you're speaking— well, obviously, you speak English as well. They speak both there. The signage and stuff in Wales is delightful. It's one in English and one in Welsh, and it's tough to read.

It's a hotbed of contention, yeah.

What's the distance between English and Welsh? I mean, I have absolutely no idea what it sounds like, what it looks like.

Yeah, talk a little bit in Welsh just so we can hear it.

I'll just get—

one of the only words One of the oldest poems in Welsh is about 600 BC, and it just says, goi raeth ca traefer fraeth feitli glasfeli han cwna gwenyn vy, trichan triberiant yn catai, agwadi eloch taw eloch vy.

It's Lord of the Rings, the elves. It's how the elves speak in Lord of the Rings.

Yes, well, Tolkien based, uh, Elfish on Welsh.

Oh, I just made that up. Is that true?

Oh yes, it is. Yeah.

Wow, are you kidding me?

I mean, I'm, I'm a 54-year-old man that, uh, is not living in a cave. Why have I never ever heard Welsh?

It's a golden cave. I mean, let's be honest.

Well, yes, a beautiful cave. I've heard Yes, one cave to bind us all.

Why?

What?

What?

I don't understand how that's gone by me.

Um, oh, I do.

Well, I think— I think, listen, I don't want to get into on the English-bashing soapbox, but the English, you know, if we're gonna— we'll do the quick history. The English did their best to kind of eradicate all the Celtic languages for the Scots, the Irish, the Welsh, the Cornish. You know, they, they, they weren't too Celtic friendly. So there was a lot of stamping out of the language and the culture.

Wow.

And, and was it influenced, uh, by, um, uh, folks more northern? Like, was there a Viking influence to all of those Celtic languages?

I mean, I mean, there's the great evolution. It's Germanic-based, and then, you know, the— I think the Keltoi were a Spanish tribe initially, and they, you know, then the Gauls got involved and it amalgamated, and then And then they set up camp in Britain, and then the Romans came.

We're all such babies here in America.

Well, you don't learn any— even if you did pay attention, even if you did in America go to school not on a massage bus, you learned history.

How dare you?

You learned history. But at least in Canada, we had to take British history, so we knew— we were always studying the fucking Battle of Culloden and all that shit. shit.

Like, is the empire still stamped down your throat in Canada?

Oh, yeah, of course. I mean, I haven't lived there in 30 years, so I—

This is a guy who reads World War II books on the can going to bed. It's not as bad as Justin Theroux, who will watch World War II documentaries through the face hole of a massage table on his iPhone. Okay, he takes it to a new level. lust for World War II.

And he lines it just for comfort and stuff. He lines it with his discarded sleeves just to protect his face.

Just to pad the ring.

So, Matthew, so you're in— you're what? You're sort of 17, and you go to RADA.

Yeah, yeah, went to the— yeah.

Royal Academy of Dramatic Art in London, which is the preeminent classical acting school in the world.

Yeah.

That's what I tell everyone.

Yeah.

That's what I've told my parents. They allow me to go.

It's like everybody who goes to RADA, They'll tell you.

And it's the same way with everybody who's ever gone to Oxford. Make sure to let that be known.

Well, yes, we'll drop it in. You know, they're all called— you walk in and they've left the honor boards are still up in the foyer. So like, you know, has Peter O'Toole and Anthony Hopkins.

And it's incredible. I did a summer course there years ago.

Did you?

1987. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Shakespeare?

Yeah, I did the whole thing for a few months there.

You come up?

Yeah, at RADA. Come on. I sure did.

How was that?

It was amazing, man.

What did you do?

You seem so dumb.

It was amazing.

Is there a lot of pressure when you go to a school like that to make it? I mean, obviously you did, but I mean, is there— just sort of culturally, do you feel they're like, oh my God, okay, so I'm in RADA now. I gotta maintain our batting average of— or is there a lot of people that go there and then go into other fields? Is that more common?

It is, it is. It's a very small intake. There's only 30 to each year, 15 men, 15 women.

Every year?

Yeah, yeah. So it's very small. So you feel the pressure immediately.

That's small. Did they do it on a bus?

Yes, like a massage bus. Yeah, it just kind of goes around, around Piccadilly Circus.

We fit 30 on the massage bus comfortably.

That's what I heard.

And then you guys stopped for lunch at Jinkies on Ventura, right? Yeah, I mentioned that.

at the Bodhi Tree.

But it's very exclusive. But you— here you are, you're, you're a kid from Cardiff. Were you the only Welsh person in your year?

Um, yes, I was. I was. I had a friend who was a year older, and then Michael Sheen had just come through and kind of blazed a trail and was kind of, you know, setting the West End on, on fire. So, so there was this, you know, there was a— the The flag of Wales is the dragon, so there was a kind of a dragon firmly stamped as to, you know, the Welsh are resurging again. But, you know, like I said, Anthony Hopkins was the chairman of the board at the time, so he'd be in and out, and he'd just done Shadowlands. So, you know, there was this great air that, you know, anything was possible, really. I think one of the things that the Welsh and Wales suffer from enormously is small person syndrome. And at that time, there was just this little bubble of a few Welsh people doing incredibly well. Catherine Zeta-Jones was bursting through the ranks. So I was there at this renaissance when anything felt possible.

You know what my question is going to be. I can ask it now or later.

Oh, hang on.

Did you ever forget a line on stage?

What's your favorite theater story, Matthew?

Yeah, because you got to have one or two.

Yes, I've— Well, I have quite a few, in fact. No, but possibly when I was— because I was doing theater for, for the first, well, 5 years solidly. And then at 25, um, I thought I, I'd, I got the role that was going to change my life and my career. It didn't. But I got, uh, to play Benjamin Braddock in a stage adaptation of The Graduate with Kathleen Turner as my Mrs. Robinson.

Wow.

Yeah.

And to me, it was the first real introduction to Hollywood because I'd never experienced anything like it in every sense. Like, PAs. I was like, what's a PA? Who has a PA? It was just incredible. Anyway, fast forward, we're halfway through the run. It got a little, you know, there were a few bedroom antics in the production. And there's one moment where I jump in bed and we're simulating sex, and I have to kind of plunge my face between her legs as if I'm—

Mm-hmm.

Pleasuring her. Sure, sure.

She did have the obligatory kind of flesh-toned underwear on. But anyway, I had a streaming head cold.

Sure.

And being the malicious, vindictive type that I am, I wouldn't let the understudy go on. So I went on and I had— my nose was just streaming. My cold, my nose was streaming, and I couldn't— I didn't want to kind of sniff heavily during dialogue. Never a great idea. Yeah, and I go, oh, I know what I'm gonna do. I know what I'll do. I'll just clear my nose in that quiet moment when I'm between— Well done. I know. And I didn't think. So I jumped in and I'm between Miss Turner's legs and I just went— and inhaled deeply and the covers kind of shot up. And she's looking down at me like, what the fuck? What the fuck are you doing? And I was like, oh, oh no, I'm not— no, I'm not— I'm not sniffing— I'm not sniffing— I have a cold. I have a cold. I'm not sniffing you.

You're not trying wine out.

No.

No. Oh, my God.

No way.

Yes. I always live with this deep regret of that moment. That, and when someone— there was a paparazzi photo— in the moment when she took off her robe, and this paparazzi photographer stood up and photographed her, and a big flash went off. I know. And I looked at her on stage in this moment, and I was like, oh, we should stop. And she came in with the next line. And I always remember thinking, regardless that she was a consummate professional, went, I'm gonna come over the next time, I'm gonna carry on. I bitterly regret in that moment not stopping the production because the next day in a tabloid newspaper—

Oh, Lord. Yeah.

A huge photograph of— That's a tabloid? Yeah.

Yeah.

I was ashamed.

I was ashamed. Oh, my God. Well, you know— Oof, God, that's just—

But it was—

Yeah, it's a tabloid and the headline just said, Welshman You know, just fucking cowers under pressure.

Yes, yes, yes. Spineless Welshman does nothing.

Leave it to the English tabloids to say that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I love that.

Oh my God. So, Matthew, so you did, as you said, you did— did you play another great Welshman? You played Dylan Thomas, didn't you?

I did. At one point? I did. Yes. Oh my God, it feels so long ago. It was about 12 years ago now. Yeah. He had this— He had this incredible moment, the poet Dylan Thomas had this incredible moment in his life where he was having an affair. That part was played by Keira Knightley, and Sienna Miller's playing my wife. And Cillian Murphy is the husband of Keira Knightley, and this is all true, that he burst in on Dylan Thomas with a machine gun, 'cause it's during the Second World War. He came in with a machine gun, he opened fire, he like— Oh, my God. missed everyone, then took out a grenade, pulled the pin, and the grenade didn't go off. And it was that story that we told in Age of Love.

No way!

Yeah, it was kind of— it was an unbelievable story that he survived and then tragically drank himself to death.

Wow. Talk about the worst assassin you could ever imagine.

Yes. And I was like, talking to Cillian about it, I was like, but you're a commando. You're a trained commando. Do you want to play this part?

So you are— you are not— you do not live in Wales, correct?

I do not, no. I now live in leafy Brooklyn.

Leafy Brooklyn.

Yeah, so you live in Brooklyn, but you come over, you do theater, as you say, for basically 5 years, and then you move over to America to do what? What was the first thing that brought you over?

The first thing I did, I was doing a play. I was actually doing a two-hander at the Royal Court with Paul Paul Bettany called One More Wasted Year, and everyone called it One More Wasted Evening because it wasn't— it wasn't good. My own family said as much. It was terrible.

Did they really?

So they come backstage, and what were they saying to you backstage?

My uncle was the first person of the entire group, and they came in, and he's an old sea captain, very salty, and he went, well, that was shit. And I couldn't argue. I went, you're absolutely right. And then, yeah, Stephen Daldry, who was the— Stephen Daldry was the artistic director at the time, and press night came in, went, darlings, was it the play we need to see right now? Probably not. Should we go to the party?

That's hysterical.

Oh, God. Wow, that's so hardcore. So you come over with Paul Bettany, you do that.

Sorry, yes. Yeah, an American agent came to see the play, and he said, do you want to come over for pilot season? And I had no idea what it was. And I said yes and then came to LA. And then the first audition he set me up with, it was Julie Taymor's first movie, Titus, with Anthony Hopkins and Jessica Lange. And I just thought, oh my God, Los Angeles is truly the promised land where you just turn up and get these huge movies and everything's great.

Yeah, you just sign on.

And then I did that.

Yeah.

And I shot that in Rome for 6 months and then I went back to LA and didn't get a job for a decade.

Yeah, I thought, here's another, another time I'm gonna— my career is gonna be made. And it was just like, yeah, just paid a few bucks.

Isn't that amazing? Isn't it? I love that feeling of like, yeah, it's gonna be like this forever.

Yeah, yeah. It, it's like the Klondike. I arrived, it was like the Klondike where they throw you these scripts and go, this is being made for MGM with this as the lead. And you're like, oh my, and you're allowing me to audition for this? This is madness. Yeah, all I have to do is get the part and I'm set for life.

You never know anything. You really don't. I mean, look at us 3 morons. Each of us have had great success, as I knock on wood, we're super grateful for in our careers. But then this thing comes along. It's more successful than anything we've ever done. And it was just us 3 idiots chatting during COVID Right.

What would you know?

The world basically was saying, we don't want you guys to do the thing that you think that you're going to just—

Yeah. Or the things you're professional at.

Yeah. You can keep doing that a little bit if you want, but we just want you to be that you're We want to hear your idiotic thoughts on stupid shit.

Yeah. Just like, wonder at the moment where Sean learns that Wales was— you know where Wales got its name, Sean? That's where they made the first harpoon.

That's not true.

That's not true.

It's not true. That's not true.

Correct.

But you bought it for a second. And that's what they tune in to hear.

I always buy the shit because he'll fuck with me and he'll say something that's completely not true, and then he'll say something that's completely true. I never know what to believe.

I know, Amy.

But wait a minute.

They did shoot Moby Dick in Wales with Gregory Peck, and my grandfather worked on it.

Is that true?

Yeah, yeah, they built 3 large rubber whales, uh, and one of them— one of them— I know, they were just the great joke, is like they came to Wales, um, and one of them sailed off into the Irish Sea, which I think is fantastic that there was this—

I have a whale that needs a rubber, but go ahead.

Hey, my grandfather caught Moby Dick, but there's a cure for it. Wait, wait, wait.

What did your grandfather do on that?

His friend Edgar was a carpenter, and I think he kind of— they kind of helped out, I think, in the framing of the whales.

I love that.

That's cool. Wait, I want to ask about Kerry, and I want to know, like, did you meet each other— because I'm an idiot, I don't know— did you meet before Americans or on the set? And how did that go? And when did you know the sparks flew?

Just one question at a time.

We did— 'cause I get easily confused.

'Cause I love Carrie.

I love Carrie. So do I. Um, we met quite a few years before The Americans, um, in Rustic Canyon at a kickball party that Jennifer Gray hosted. And I had no idea what kickball was.

Boy, all of that adds up, by the way.

Yes, yes. How I just amble through life bumping into the furniture and ending up going, how did I get here? How did this happen?

Yeah.

And we were the last 2 to leave. We were in the parking lot, and I was trying to open a bottle of beer for her with a key and failing. And I asked for her number then. And then— and that was all I can remember. She was moving to New York 2 days after that, on the Tuesday. It was a Sunday. And that's all I sort of remember. And then the road to The Americans was a long, crazy one. And then on the first day of fight training, I said to Kerry, I said, oh, we've met before, actually. She was like, no, no, we definitely haven't.

I thought it'd been years.

It'd been years at this point. And I said, yeah, yeah, we met before. We met at a kickball party in Rustic Canyon. She went, I know who you are. And you left me a message on my answering machine, a very drunken message. And I went, did I? I'm so sorry. I had no memory of leaving a long, rambling, incoherent, drunken message.

No way. Did you really?

Wait, can I be a super moron? Are you guys together?

Yeah.

Okay. Wait, so you got together, you started working together.

Why don't we just bring up that they're just good friends?

No, because they worked together on The Americans for 6 years.

That's what I'm saying. That's why I was asking.

But during that, you guys fell in love, got married, had a kid?

We did.

Yes.

Yeah, but I want to know what happened. So she goes, Oh, okay, now I remember you. And then what?

And then it was just a very slow burn. The first season, I think we were both trying to be sworn off to that thing where you're going to go, I'm not going to do what everyone tells us never to do. I'm not going to do that. And then by the beginning of the second season, it was—

It was over.

It was— yeah.

Ship a sail.

Okay, so now were the producers— did the producers take each of you aside individually and say, Hey, this is— you're dealing with an asset here, okay? Everyone has jobs. If you guys go south, we have to shut the show down. Was it— were there conversations?

No, no, they were very gracious about it because I've had friends—

You were all so nervous.

I know. I've had friends who, you know, who've had that conversation, the sit-down from the producers going, look, we've all been down here before. You guys are in your mid-30s now. You know, you're not 22.

Right off the company plane.

Yeah, they were very kind and gracious about it. Do you know the TV director Tommy Shlomi?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. So, Shlomi was directing the beginning of the second season, and he has that kind of beautiful voice. But Kerry and I were having a— we were doing a sex scene, and Shlomi just goes, these two have been naked together before! And then it was just like, called out.

Oh, really?

Mr. Shlomi. So, at that point, no one knew, but he could tell?

He could, he could tell. And then there's a longer story as to how we got found out, which was just—

We've got time.

Well, Kerry got broken into. I was in the house at the time, and the robbers kind of grabbed my backpack, shoved it full of her stuff. Hold on, hold on.

You're in the house alone during a home invasion?

Yeah, yeah.

Wow. We'll start there.

Well, so here's the other thing is it's early days, and this is just a testament to my But in the early days of our relationship, and she wakes me up, she says, there's someone in the house. And I go, no, there's not. And then I just heard this voice.

Oh, shit.

And I remember thinking, in any logical moment, you'd go, let's lock ourselves in the bathroom, call 911. And for some stupid reason, because it was very early days, I thought, what I do next, she will judge me on for the rest of our lives. What's that film?

Force Majeure.

Force Majeure. Yeah.

Wow. Where the avalanche comes and he just runs. He leaves his family behind.

Right, right. I swear to God, I was like, if I suggest to go into the bathroom and call 911, will she think me a coward? Right.

Your relationship's over.

Yes.

I had all these weird things going through my head. So what did I do? She had a— she had a working fireplace in the—

in the—

in the— in the bedroom. So I picked up the poker.

Sure.

And with not a stitch on me, I walked out to meet my fate.

Oh, God.

Now, how?

And we'll be right back after these messages. Okay, so now we're back.

So now we're back. So now you're— now, now—

So after 8 months of treatment, yes, I was fine. No, I'm kidding.

So, so did you face to face with this fella?

No, because what I did was the— I think what most people do is you turn the light off— light on, and they run straight away.

Right.

So I heard them kind of run, and, and they, they ran it— they ran out the front door.

Oh, thank God.

I know, I know.

Jesus.

So you do this, and now Carrie thinks that you're her hero?

Yeah.

I, I wouldn't go that far.

Or did she think you were stupid for going— for chasing her?

Yeah, basically.

Yeah, she was locked in the bathroom.

Yeah, yeah. Then 7 cops turn up, and they start— they clock her, and they're like looking. They'll have no idea who I am, but they're looking at her, and then, and then And then all of a sudden the DA were like— they catch them and the DA said, oh, I tell you what, we would love to return your belongings on set with a photographer to Kerry if that's okay. And she's like—

What?

She wasn't wild about the idea. Tried to put her off. No, no, no, because the DA was retiring that year. He wanted kind of a hero ending. So the NYPD come on set with a photographer and then they're holding up my bag and Yadeed, one of the young PAs, went, wait, that's not Kerry's bag. That's Matthew's bag. And as I'm running trying to go, shut the fuck up. And that's how the— that's how the crew kind of found out.

No way!

Wow.

Wow.

So arbitrary.

Yeah.

That's crazy.

There was a lot to go through just for the big reveal.

Wow.

That's kind of cool.

So then this guy managed to grab a few things before he went running?

He did.

He did.

He did.

Wow.

And when I saw the pic— when I saw the picture of him when he was arrested, I said, oh, I said, look, there's a picture of the guy that caught him. I said, look, look, he's being cuffed by 2 little tiny cops. And she said, they're not tiny. And I saw this— oh, my. And I saw the size of him. He could have turned me into a kebab with that poker and done what he wanted. I wouldn't have had a—

Now, did you have any sort of war cry as you turned on the light? Was there any sort of, get the heck out of here?

No, you're going, hey, bear!

Hey, bear! Yeah.

You know?

Was there any of that?

No, no. As much as I—

I have a poker!

Yeah, yeah. As much as I love that moment in Gladiator, when all the Celts kind of attack the Romans. And I always think, you know, if it came to it, that's how I'd react. I was not— I couldn't move my legs.

Oh my God.

Don't make me come down there!

Yeah. Yes, I'm classically trained, you know. I've done fencing.

Totally naked!

Yes.

Let's just— let's get this going!

Yeah.

And we will be right back.

And now back to the show.

All right, so you and Kerry have a child. That's a boy or a girl?

He's a boy. He's a boy. Kerry has 2 older ones, so there's 3, you know, there's 3 in the house who outnumber us.

And what are the ages of all 3?

15, 11, and 6.

15, 11, and 6. Then the 15 and 11 are boy, girl?

A boy, girl. So it goes boy, girl, boy.

Boy, girl, boy.

Yeah.

And how are you liking being a dad?

I love it.

Do you love it?

I do love it. It's the madness that I love. It's when it's at its most catastrophic. The small stuff irks you, but when it's catastrophic, it's brilliant. Yeah, one of those mornings when the wheels so royally come off, that's when I can sit back and go, oh, this is, this is just brilliant.

Who's the more patient one with all of the, with, with, with, with the chaos? Is it you or her?

Uh, her. Her. Yeah, chaos I'm fine with, but if— but manners, like rudeness, I don't tolerate. And that's when I—

Me neither.

Yeah, no, that's, that's what I got. How old are yours now, Jason?

I got 16 and 11, 2 girls.

Oh wow.

And I'm totally permissive and the guy that plays around, and I don't have to really be the disciplinarian. But if it's the rudeness, if it's stuff like that, and I just like the switch gets thrown.

Yeah, same.

I pick and choose my moments.

Yeah, the chaos is great. Yeah. Rudeness.

Yeah. We've got 14, 12, and then my partner, she has a 5-year-old, and then we have an almost 3-year-old.

Oh, wow.

All boys.

No way.

Yeah.

You've almost got the hockey team.

Almost got the team. And it's a fuck— and it is sometimes, it is absolute, just abject chaos. Like, just—

How do you like it?

I love it.

The chaos?

It's great. Yeah, I love it. It's— I don't know, I just wouldn't have it any other way. I embrace it. It's fun. Same thing. They're all nice. They're all nice kids and everybody She has good manners and stuff. That's one of the things. But I love it, man. I love it when it just gets absolute— Sometimes when you get into the witching hour, sort of near bedtime, it gets fucking bonkers.

Yeah. How about the complications, Matthew, of travel and stuff, since you guys are both very active in your careers and your kids are now deeply entrenched in school and having that sort of social and academic continuity? Like, you can't really pick them up and take them places with you as much as you want, I'll bet, right? How do you guys manage that? Is it easy or tough?

It is tough. I mean, we try and live by this ridiculous rule where one of us works, one of us doesn't, and that, you know, kids stay at school.

Right.

But it's just—

That never works out, right? No, it doesn't. Because, like, what if somebody gets a great, great call and it's— you just can't say no, but this is your turn and, you know—

Yeah, this is what happened last year. And Grandma came in and, you know, the kids ate sugar for 6 solid months. They loved it.

I think that my sort of view on it always is that, that you have this idea of how you want it to go. So you say, like, one of us is going to work, one of us not, whatever that thing is. And you try to set those parameters, and you try to get as close to it as you can. And you have to be flexible and allow yourself to— that there are going to be moments when it's just pure chaos. Yes.

And the truth is, kids are so incredibly resilient. Like, they don't know any different. I grew up in a house where my mom was a stewardess for Pan Am or for American Airlines. flight attendant, so she was gone 2 weeks of every month. That was just normal to me, you know? Just had my mom half the time, and that was just, uh, normal.

Yeah, I had my dad— oh, never mind.

Um, so Matthew's gonna love this story.

No, no.

Yeah, go.

So it starts with a, with a Chevy Pontiac, uh, the engine turning on.

Yeah. And it ends with a peel out. Yeah, just a peel out and, and a sort of a distant kind of fuck y'all, fuck all y'all.

Fuck y'all.

I'm outta here! Sean, this isn't true, is it?

Yeah, it's true. My dad left when I was 5.

And he left his mom to keep an eye on all of them. And I stress, an eye.

His mother has one eye.

And I stress, an eye.

Matthew, it's brilliantly tragic.

Tragic.

You have to laugh.

Oh, yeah. It's the only thing we have to do.

We have to laugh at our misfortunes because—

But wait, I'm gonna ask you a weird question only because you're wearing a black t-shirt. And I've seen a lot of photos of you and stuff where you seem very kind of like you're into fashion when you have to be. I know nothing. I'm terrible. But you're probably like Will where you're like, I like to look good when I even go to the store. I like to look good when I go out in public. It seems like a lot of effort.

Oh, no. If you truly knew me, it's— Kenny said the other day, because I I have these beaten-up Carhartts, and I wear usually just the same black t-shirt every day. Even Carrie's like, you've got to change for the school run. You've worn the same thing for— it's now months. And my Carhartts are really beaten up. And there was this—

What's Carhartts?

Carhartts. Sorry.

It's a brand. Clothing brand.

It's like the carpenters. Carhartts.

Yeah.

All the carpenters wear them and the real worker guys. And I wear them into the ground because they look so terrible that there was— I was standing in school pickup in line and this mother kind of looked at my trousers and she said, what is it you do? And I went, oh, I'm actually an actor. And she went, oh, oh. It's like almost like, why are you masquerading as someone who works for a living?

Well, you have your uniform.

Well, it's like Jason always gets the question when they see him. They always say, what What time's your tea time? Right? Isn't that the question you get most?

Well, when I wear this little outfit, it's clear. You know what I do get a lot? You know what I do get a lot is, do you color your hair? And now recently, because of this film where I'm playing a guy in 1985, they think it's a wig. Just a full-blown wig that I'm wearing.

On air?

Yeah.

I'm looking forward to that immensely.

No one thinks that my hair is the right— is the real color.

But you're lucky because in your 70s, like you are, nobody— that's not true.

It's not believable that a 70-year-old I have to admit that there have been— I've had a few people in the last year who have asked me, Jason, if you color your hair.

If I color my hair.

Yeah, same.

I tell everyone that you color your hair.

That's what I did that, huh?

Yes.

You son of a bitch.

It was— yeah, it was during that moment. Do you remember— I don't know if you remember this, in the Golden Globes, that— this sounds perversely pretentious, but it still makes me laugh. That kind of green— the virtual green room, if you remember, it was you, me, Bob Odenkirk, Josh O'Connor. And then we were all waiting for Al Pacino to kind of pop up. Do you remember? Into the virtual green room. And we're all waiting, we're all waiting. And then he pops up because we're all at home during the pandemic. And he looks like a Bond villain because he has like a small dog in his lap.

It's Garçon.

Yes. And we all sort of say—

we all go, hi, hello, hello, hi, hi, hi.

And then there's silence. And then we cut into a second round. We're like going, Hello?

Hi?

No, nothing. And then I think you said, I don't think he can hear us. And then Pacino just goes, oh, I can hear you.

Big boy. Yeah.

We all went, oh.

Oh. Just doesn't want to do the group hug.

And then he said, I think he colors his hair.

Yeah.

Oh, this guy? Oh, oh, hair color?

This guy.

Oh, Charlie.

Oh.

Hey, so— What's the problem, Charlie?

So, Matthew, quick question for Jason. Why is the emblem— why is the person holding an umbrella? What is that?

Oh, this is some silly golf sweater.

Mary Poppins.

Oh yeah, what is that?

It actually is a Mary Poppins. This is a, uh, I believe this is an ATT thing, Willie.

Yeah, from ATT.

Yeah, this is one of the, uh, from that swag room we went into.

Free swag.

We have, um, Smartless golf stuff coming out soon.

I love it.

Oh, let's, let's take the opportunity to do a merch tie-in, Sean.

Smart.

Matthew, Matthew, can you commit right now to wearing Smartless, uh, golf merch on the school run?

But I— my entire closet is mainly made up of clothes I've stolen from jobs.

I don't buy things.

Well, we're gonna send you some, some Smartless golf swag, like some, uh, some, uh, plus fours, right, for the, the golf pants? You know, you can wear that.

Yeah, you know, we were, we were listening. Oh, I do want to say your show gives us so much joy, and we were listening— yes, it does— we were listening to it recently and And Will, I think you went to dinner with Sean at JAR, and you— and Sean, you were—

Yeah, I was not invited.

Yeah, well, we, we brought that up in the car. We were like, I wasn't chasing them.

Yeah, I never am. These guys have been all over the world together.

Oh my God.

I've never asked. I mean, they've been to Turkey, they've been to— where else, guys?

Yeah, we have.

Where else has your passport been stamped?

Venice, Italy, right?

Venice, Italy.

You guys play golf every day.

Okay, go ahead.

Oh, that's different. So, so you did say that you were wearing Uggs. Well, those kind of slipper Uggs for dinner. Is that right?

Did I remember that right? Absolutely.

And I said to Keri, I went, see? It's fine. And she went, they live in LA.

Right.

Yeah.

She's right.

Sean, that was you wearing the comfy shoes? Yeah.

He's been doing it for years.

Who looks at your shoes? Nobody looks at your shoes in a restaurant. I would.

And then I would choose to never come to dinner with you again.

Cobblers around the world.

Cobblers look at your shoes.

Listen, so, Matthew, so now recently in the last couple of years, you've partnered with our good friend, Mr. Downey Jr.

Yeah.

Oh yeah, Perry Mason. Now that's a handsome looking show.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes.

Talk to us a little bit about that. First of all, how that came about, and what an absolute terror he is as an executive producer.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

I mean, right?

Yells and screams.

Oh, what a screamer.

He strikes people.

Yes, yes, with a glove. Has a leather glove, a small gonky that he sometimes put a metal thimble in it just for the little—

Ah!

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, Christ, he's here!

He's here! He speaks so highly of you.

How did that come— Yeah, he loves you.

Yeah, he does. He really does.

Robert loves you. And talk to us a little bit about— And Susan as well.

Susan does not like you. Oh, she does.

Well, yes.

The great Susan. The brains of that duo.

The wind beneath the wings and the brain in the head.

Yeah. How did that come into your world, the Perry Mason thing?

I mean, I'm trying to think what year it was now, 'cause it was a while back.

Probably 3, 4 years ago, maybe?

Yes, yes, yes, yes. And I always— this is how my brain works. When my manager calls and he goes, you know, Team Downey want to talk to you about a reboot of Perry Mason, my first question is like, who's turned it down? Who's turned it down?

Right. Why doesn't Robert want to do it?

Yes. Well, so that was— and I think he did. I think that was the whole point, that Robert was supposed to do it. And it took them almost 10 years of development, and it went through many, very many guises of a TV film, a series, and I just think Robert never quite got there. So, yeah, they reached out for a meeting, which I was terrified about.

And the brilliant Mr. Van Patten directed that?

Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was just the— yeah, it was just a dream.

By the way, I love that their company's called Team Downey. which is always fun to me. I think that's a great company name. I've always been jealous of that, but I don't want Robert's name.

I would've called it Touchdowny.

Yeah.

Oh, that's good.

That's nice. That'd be good too, right?

That's funny.

It's just like, I'm looking to rename mine Master Bateman, but it will not— it has not cleared.

So, Robert— so Team Downey reaches out, and you go and you meet with these guys, and you're like, You're like, did you know that it was going to become this great— what was your first thought of it? Were you excited? Were you sort of skeptical? Were you—

I mean, I was slightly skeptical because I have—

did you develop it with them or was it a script?

Well, you're also carrying a bunch of pedigree out of The Americans. You won the Emmy.

The Americans and Brothers and Sisters that you did for 5 years with our old buddy Robbie Bates. My old friend.

You did not want it to suck.

No, no. But that was never in doubt, 'cause, you know, I think when you saw Team Downey, you know, the writers on it, Tim Van Patten, HBO, it was straight up— I wasn't concerned that it wouldn't be of a certain caliber. If anything, usually it stems from my own insecurities, how I can turn it into a catastrophe more than anything else. But I was very excited. I loved it. It was pitched as a one-off, and they were like, look, we just want to do the origin story and that'll be it. And then, you know, halfway through they were like, you know, this is— it works pretty good. It looks good. We should— we should think about doing this a little, you know, we should think about doing more of this. I do— I did have that small reservation where I've done— where I've kind of, you know, Perry Mason is so revered. Well, it was in the UK. It was huge.

It was.

And here also, there is a certain generation of an age group up that kind of go, no, no, you can't touch Mason. You have to leave that alone.

And then a ton of people have no recollection of the show whatsoever.

And that's what Susan said. She said, look, there are swathes of generations ready for a new Perry Mason.

Yeah, we can make him whatever we want. And where did you guys shoot that?

In LA. They went back to the origin story in the books, which was 1930s LA, which to me was, you know, with Chinatown and everything else, was such— it was so alluring. And, and, and as a kid growing up watching old movies, I was like, oh my God, I get to wear a fedora.

And you do an American accent?

Yeah, yeah.

You get to wear a fedora in LA like everybody else in Venice, right?

Yeah, or Los Feliz.

As an actor, is the American accent a tough thing to do? And do you have like a phrase that clicks you right into the typical American sound that's sort of like a shortcut for you?

No, there's no real short— it's still a huge— it's like a— I say block.

Like hamburger.

I'll tell you what, killer. I went up to one of the writers early on in Perry Mason. I said, hey, is there any chance we can change murderer to killer? And he's like, you do realize you've signed on for Perry Mason? You're gonna be saying murderer a lot. And I was like, yeah, I hadn't quite thought that one through. That's a bit of an Achilles heel. feel for me. That one always sounds like—

That's a tough word to say.

Yeah, like your batteries run out halfway through.

You just go murderer. Murderer.

I was like, can you say killer? What about suspect? Suspect would be great, right?

Because the British accent would put an AH on it. Murderer, right?

Murderer. Murderer.

Yeah, murderer. By the way, if you're gonna live in America, you gotta learn how to say murderer. I mean, yeah, yeah, sorry.

That's actually so true.

It's gonna be the thing you're Jesus Christ. Well, I mean, now you've got the second season of Perry Mason coming out, which is fantastic, which you never thought you'd do. No.

And that was delayed a bit. Yeah. With COVID perhaps?

Hugely delayed because Susan, to her detriment, went, no, we're going to wait. We're not going to shrink the show and make a smaller show of the first one. We'll wait until we can make the same big show with hundreds of supporting artists and do it right.

Right, because there's a lot of background players in, in, in a lot of crowd scenes.

Yeah, it's a massive production.

Oh my, it's, it's a beast. It's— there are, there are those days I turn up on set and I go, I don't even know how this, how this works. My brother, my brother-in-law was a tank commander in the British Army.

Whoa.

For most of his life. And he said it's all— it's like, if you think about the logistics they have to do, it's insane. But he came on set one day and he went, How does this work?

Right.

And he was just so shocked. He goes, what amazes me— he said, what amazes me is that so many components have to come together in one tiny moment and be quiet.

He said it was—

it sort of staggered him. He was like amazed at the call sheets and everything.

It's true.

It is. It's true. When you watch— when you go to a big film, television set, and you watch all these people who are at the top of their game, And seeing it, like you said, come together in that moment where everybody's gotta be silent and everything's gotta be great, and you see it pulled off. Sometimes it has the timing of something that has to happen in the shot. Whatever it is, it is pretty amazing to watch how good these people are at what they do.

Yeah. And filming in New York, which we obviously did The Americans in, it's staggering that they get away with what they do in the kind of— Like, location departments should be given flak jackets these days for the amount of abuse they just get from people who want to park, drive down the street, or enter a shot.

How many times have you had that when you're shooting in New York on the street, and then somebody— it's pretty good, and then somewhere in the take, you just hear somebody leaning out a window going, I want to be in the fucking movie!

Yeah, all the time. And almost— if it says exterior night in the Americans, you know you're looping it. You know you're ADRing it because you know there's someone shouting in the along the line. There was this one time in Harlem I was doing a scene and it was like 8 guys, because I had to shout the scene, 8 guys were shouting the exact same words along with me.

Because they've heard it so many times? Yeah.

Yeah.

Um, Matthew, we have taken up so much of your time. My God, I just realized we could talk to you forever.

Yeah, yeah, you're a conversation starter.

You're one of us. You're one of us.

God, you are one of us.

This has been a real treat. Sean, I We can't wait to see the show. We're all coming to see it. We're very excited about it.

Oh, that's so nice. Thank you.

How are previews going?

Really well. Really exhausting. But thank you for asking. I walked down the street one day today, walked down the street to go get my little sandwich, my egg sandwich.

And a Kaiser roll.

And a Kaiser roll. And this woman stopped me. She was really sweet. But this is how much energy was in her voice. She grabbed my arm. She goes, I saw your show last night. I go, yeah, thank you for coming. She goes, it was really good. And she just kept walking.

I love New York. New York undefeated.

And that's it.

I was like, she was very nice though. Last time I did a play, I was walking from the theater and this woman just shouted, you're an asshole. And I just went, I hope you saw the show. That's not personal.

Matthew, well, when we come to New York, I hope that we can grab a meal. You, me, and Carrie, and maybe one of these, uh, ding-dongs as well. It'd be great.

Yes, please.

Let's go get Sean and Scotty and JB, and we'll do it up. It'll be great to see you, man.

Thank you for having me. This has been such a treat.

It's such a delight. And send all of our love to Carrie.

I will.

We adore her as well. And we adore you. You are, as Sean said, you're one of us. It's been such a pleasure, buddy. And, um, continued success. Perry Mason comes out— what's the release?

It's out now. It's out now? Monday nights at 9.

Monday nights at 9:00. There we go.

HBO Max. Yeah.

Congratulations, Melville.

Thank you. Congratulations on all the success, buddy.

Thank you, guys. Thanks a million.

Thanks for being here, buddy. Have a good day.

See you soon.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

And you slam it shut.

Now, there's a nice guy. Will, what's a nice guy like that being— how is he friends with you?

Because that's the kind of— that's the ilk of people that I attract. You know what I mean? It's just like-minded people. Birds of a feather.

Cool dudes. He's charming.

He knows how to carry on a conversation.

Yeah, I know.

I'm always impressed with guys like that who are just so, like, relaxed. Yeah.

Like, well, he's confident, you know?

He's comfortable, you know? He's got his uniform, he's got his black T-shirt and his—

He's not like you guys. He doesn't have an ax to grind, you know what I mean? He doesn't have something to prove all the time.

He's not trying to prove anything with his fun tops that he wears, Sean.

I'm a fun top.

Now listen, um, speaking of which, where's the cocaine bear? What's he fixing now?

Huh? He's fixing something. Scotty, what are you making? What kind of sandwich? Oh, you had a Turks— you had a Turk sandwich.

Oh, a Turk sandwich. Wait, wait, what else?

What percentage of the day— hang on, what percentage of the day when you yell out, hey, uh, Scotty, what are you doing, is the answer, I'm making a sandwich?

Well, usually it's for me.

No, that's right, making sammies.

That's what I mean.

Well, so what do we got on the turkey? So how do you like your turkey sandwich done, Sean?

I ordered one. Yes, I had one yesterday for lunch. It was a turkey, avocado, lettuce, and extra, extra, extra mayo.

Oh, and are we toasting the bread?

No.

Really? How about a light toast, a little snack?

Just like a real soft thing there.

Extra— do you literally say extra, extra, extra mayo?

Yes, I always do because they never put enough on.

You know what I like? I like it when you get one of those, like a sort of like an Italian, you know what I mean, with different cuts of meat, some cold cuts, lettuce, tomato, and get some oil and vinegar, get a little salt, pepper.

Stuff it in there. Stuff it in there.

You know, by the way, it reminds me of saying about the wearing the hats all around. I remember, um, remember Thoreau went through a long phase. He was always wearing like hats and little pork pie hats and fedoras and stuff. And I remember Poler said one day, you look fedorable.

And, uh, just—

that's good. Really killed us.

Yeah. Hey, what kind of hat do I have on today?

You got one of those Smartless merch hats.

That's right.

Yeah.

Wait, where do we get one of those? Sorry to interrupt, guys. It looks Looks like Keri Russell's entering the waiting room. She might just want to say hi.

You want to just pop her on?

Put her on.

Put Keri on. Then we're going to air it. There she is.

If you can hear us, hello.

We'll have to have her on.

I will tell the boys they can't hear you right now because they're on the other system.

You were fantastic. Thank you. Bye. Okay.

Thanks for everything.

Really appreciate it.

Well done.

I love that we just had a quick visual visit from Keri Russell. And we couldn't hear her, but we got to see her and she was there.

She's probably with the kids, right, Sean?

Yeah, she was.

She probably would. It's, uh, about time for pickup.

Yeah, it's probably time for nap time for her kids, which she would then sing. What would she sing to them if she was gonna put her kids to bed? She would probably sing, like, rock-a-bye baby.

Jason hates when we go up.

He just pinches that voice off.

Smartless.

Smartless is 100% organic and artisanally handcrafted by Michael Grant Terry, Rob Armcharf, and Bennett Barbacoa. Smartless.