Transcript of "Steve Zahn"

Hi, uh, this is Steve Zahn, and I just went through an intense tech setup with my mic and my computer, and I'm ready to go. I'm just waiting here. I'm waiting patiently to be on Smartless. Welcome to Smartless.

Smartless.

Smartless.

All right, surprise guests, give us a clap if you're still with us, please.

We are rolling. Oh, wow.

That's a dude.

We're gonna go tarps off today, guys.

I almost sent you an article last night. So we talked about tarps off. It wasn't even a Canadian article.

I never heard that before. Is that an old saying? Yeah, it is. I never heard that.

Canadian old.

You know, when I was in junior high school, they would do—

Oh, hang on, let me settle in.

They would do shirts and skins, you know, like, and I was so like—

I would always be afraid to be skins because I wasn't happy with my body. Still am.

By the way, it's traumatic for children to be like, Hey, take your shirts off, dudes, against the guys who get to keep them on. It's like, why is that a thing?

Yeah, I wonder if you can still do that. Is it politically like not okay to say, you take your shirt off, you keep yours on?

And the same, right? And the same with showers after. Like, I remember being 12 years old, guys, hit the showers. I'm like, I don't want to be naked in front of like my—

Were you always on the shower team?

Yeah.

Guys, can I be team captain showers?

No, but I was—

What sport are you doing this semester?

I'm taking showering. I'm quarterback of the shower team.

You know, though, isn't that so?

Yeah, I went to all-boys boarding school, dude. I had to shower every day.

Like, I mean, what is the thinking behind that? That, like, they'll be fine. They'll work it out. They're just boys.

Yeah.

And I'm like, no, we're all sensitive. Anyway, moving on.

Huh. Well, just drop us off right there, Sean. Thanks. I guess we'll find our way home from here.

No, you know what I mean?

It was just awful.

It was awful. I was in camp. I remember I had to take— music camp. I had to take—

Oh, he's got more.

Off the top of my head with Sean Hayes. Yeah.

Camp stories.

I had to take a shower and it was really cold, but I— did I already tell this story?

Oh, that explains it.

There was a super long line and there was a line of like 100 guys in line to take one shower at a time. And by the time I got there, the water was so cold. I was— it was freezing. And I, you know, you lose your breath when the water's that cold. Like, you can't catch your breath. And I was like— and everybody was staring at me taking a shower. I don't know. It's just so awkward.

Did your folks get a deal on the camp? This is 100 people for the one shower with the no hot water? Yeah, right.

The music camp. It was awful.

Wait a sec. That's it?

Yeah. I mean, it's just—

Full story.

Just the same as always.

Well, I think we can start rolling now. Let's, um, uh, Sean, you've got a GEPD, uh, hat on. That is some sort of a police department. That is Glen Ellyn. Glen Ellyn.

Got it.

Glen Ellyn. Glen Ellyn.

Glen Ellyn.

Glen Ellyn.

That's right. That's in, uh, that's in the Chicago suburbs.

That is it.

I'm just looking in the chat there. I don't know if you guys want to click on that.

Oh, yeah. In the chat, there's Jason with his shirt off.

Let me see.

Toweling off in the Mediterranean.

Hey, man, you know what? Keep it relatable.

That's something.

You can Google if anybody wants to Google.

You do look good though, JB.

Yeah, you look really good.

No, not really.

Yeah, I'm telling you.

That's a dad bod right there.

That's a dad bod who's been working out.

Oh, that is—

So that's my shower shot, right?

I know, see?

Yeah.

Embarrassing.

You're never nude, right?

God, remember that show?

Yeah.

By the way, I got a bunch of— I think it's— I wanna give out the correct website, but I'm gonna guess at davidcross.com. But I went on David's website for his, you know, stand-up site where he's got a lot of his performances on there, which is awesome. And I bought myself a bunch of swag. I've got David Cross t-shirts. That's cool.

No way.

No way.

That's great. And they threw in a beer cozy. Like, and I sent a picture to David of, you know, once it arrived at the house, I said, hey, man, I just wanted you to know I'm a fan and I've been buying stuff. I don't know what site I was on, but it was some sort of a link Somehow I got to his website and I was like, oh, look at all of this stuff. He's got merch, you guys.

No way.

That's so— I don't know. If you like David Cross like I do, go get yourself a t-shirt with his beautiful face on it.

We love ourselves some David Cross.

Yeah. Yeah. He should come back on the show.

He should.

We're doing repeats now, aren't we?

We're gonna do repeats.

Well, this one's not.

No, this is a fresh new meat.

This is fresh new meat. And this is—

With heavy hands.

Yeah, a loud clap.

Yeah.

This guy knows how to clap.

Sure does.

And he probably learned it from all the audiences clapping for him over the years.

Is he a musician?

Well, that's—

He's not a musician. He's a performer.

A magician, maybe.

He's an— His acting is sometimes magic.

You know how good magicians are at podcasts.

Yeah.

We learned that lesson.

Look at this.

They're an easy booking.

What?

I would describe some of his performances as magic. He grew up in Minnesota. There was a time where he thought about joining the Marines before he started pursuing acting. And then we got to see him in so many amazing shows, movies, and stuff over the years. Way back when, all the way till today. Movies like Reality Bites, which he was so good.

Pause.

And he does this thing where he goes through independent film and big studio films. And then he does Crimson Tide with Tony Scott. And then he was in That Thing You Do!, which has become like a cult hit. And then he did Happy Texas, which he was amazing in. And I remember him in Suburbania.

Steve Zahn?

You guys did Steve Zahn. How was it? Oh, my God.

Hey, Steve.

I love Steve Zahn.

I love Mr. Steve Zahn.

You know, Sam Rockwell was showing me some pictures of Steve Zahn the other day, and I just lit up like a tree. Of course.

I didn't even get the chance to mention his movie She Dances, which is available now, which I wanted to get into. Steve will ask you about that. But welcome to Smartless Man.

Huge fan. Thank you. I'm so stoked to be on this show.

This is a guest.

Yeah, this is—

I'm a big fan of yours, Steve. Big fan.

I'm a fan of all you guys. And I gotta say, like, how is it that in 30 years I have not been in the same room with any of you?

No, I know. Where are you living? Where do you and your Macaroni Art live?

That's the name of his production company.

Macaroni Art. Yeah, you got a piece of that.

Macaroni Art is the name of his production company, right, Steve?

Is that true?

That's it.

That's crazy. So, listener, you should know there's a painting behind him with an elbow macaroni upside down in the shape of a U just over his left shoulder. That's it. It's a brick wall, Steve, and some art that is Macaroni. That's the name of his company.

And the brick wall is in Midway, Kentucky.

Wow. Well, that's why we haven't seen you for 30 years.

Yeah. Well, I've, you know, I've always— I've always kind of lived outside the world.

Yeah, I like that.

But thank God you're still finding your way to our movie screens and TV screens.

Yeah.

Did you ever live in Los Angeles, Steve?

No, because, you know, back in the day when you actually worked in Los Angeles, I would just— I would rent a place for a long time and it was great.

Oakwoods?

Yeah, I would.

Yeah, I've stayed at the Oakwoods. And Marina del Rey when I did That Thing You Do.

Uh-huh.

But, but so I was, you know, I was like, well, if, if I can rent a house for an extended period of time and live in a different neighborhood all the time, why buy?

Right.

But I was New York. I was New York.

You were? Okay.

Yeah. And then I met my wife a long time ago, 1990. And we met doing national tour of Bye Bye Birdie.

Okay.

Oh, wow. I'm in.

With, with—

Sean, cool it.

Cool it, Sean.

With Tommy Tune and Ann Reinking.

No. Really? Take it easy, Sean.

Wait, which part were you?

I was Hugo. Hugo.

Of course you were Hugo.

Okay. It was 13 months on the road. Anyway, we got back and then we had, you know, we had tour money and we thought we were rich. And so we bought a little cabin in Pennsylvania and then we didn't work. So we had to give up the apartment and then live in this cabin. And then we commuted to New York. So really early on—

You got used to not being in the city.

Yeah, exactly.

So— Well, now, and you're not the kind of fella that, uh, needs to, um, go in there and take a bunch of meetings, 'cause people, people, people know what's going on with Steve Zahn. They, they know what they know. It's like you, you, you make a call.

No, it's a lot of getting Steve Zahn. It's a lot of getting.

Any chance Steve Zahn's available? I don't care where we gotta fly him in from.

Yeah.

We just need him.

Yeah.

No.

Yeah.

No.

Yeah, you're like a special firefighter. You gotta fly him in.

I will, I will say, Steve, I remember, I remember hearing that you are like a special firefighter. Yeah. Let's get him in here.

Put it out.

Problem solver. You solve problems for people.

I'm a solving-probler.

No, but I remember hearing that you lived in Pennsylvania or something, way back when, because I was always such a fan. And I was always like, that's so fucking cool that he doesn't even live in the city.

Yeah, we don't live— the 3 of us don't have the balls to live outside the city. I certainly— I'm too afraid to miss the meeting.

I know.

You know?

But you guys are all New York, right?

No, I'm just soft LA.

You're in LA.

I'm both.

I lived in New York for a long time.

Shaunie's got both too. These guys are doing real well, Steve.

Yeah.

No, but I was a New York guy back in the '90s, you know, for 20 years.

Man, just when you thought you were doing good.

Yeah.

You know what, though, Steve? It's true. When Jason just said, Steve Zahn, whoever he is, will make it work. You pop up in, like— when you popped up in The White Lotus, I was like, oh my God, you're brilliant in that. And then I watched Silo and I was like, is that Steve Zahn? Is that Steve Zahn behind the door? And that was amazing.

Thanks.

You pop up in the most unique, Places, how do you— do they come to you? Is it something you seek out? You're like, I love that show, because it seems like you're on all the good ones.

Well, no, Silo, they approached me. Rebecca did. She actually— Rebecca saw a short that we did, um, that Macaroni Art did. We did a series of shorts called Uncandid Portrait, and I played this, like, I played this fictional artist, this photographer that's famous for taking photographs of fireworks. And it was just short, and she saw it, and she was like, oh my God, he'd be perfect for this part.

Yeah, for my sister who doesn't watch, it's Rebecca Ferguson, brilliant actress.

Yes, she's amazing and really cool. Anyway, but White Lotus, that was one of the last times I've been— I went on tape.

Yeah.

Wow.

Audition. And now what about that process? Do you prefer it to self— do you prefer the self-taping as opposed to going into a room I don't do it that much.

I mean, usually I get an offer, but it's like—

But it's nicer, right? 'Cause you don't have to send it in until you're happy with it.

Exactly.

I was always afraid I was gonna shit my pants in the room, you know?

Yeah.

Well, that's 'cause you're on all those diuretics too.

Yeah. Just trying to drop water weight constantly. It just runs havoc with the valve.

But you know what?

Also, it's like whenever— I remember reading, you know, being in New York and going in and auditioning, like 3 of us, and there was like 70 guys there.

3 of us. Yeah.

You know, remember that? And like Sam Rockwell was there and, you know, Rick Gomez was there and, you know, everybody was there. Josh Hamilton and— Nick Gomez.

Thoreau using the office scissors there to tend to the sleeves.

But you would go in and you would read with someone that might not be that great. And so, The instinct of an actor is to make that moment good. So you might do something completely different than what you planned.

Right, 'cause the other hand is clapping in a real weird way.

Right.

It's just—

anyway. Yeah.

That's a great point. So wait, hey, while I got you there, let me ask you about that.

Yeah, he's not going anywhere.

Okay, great. We got you for a little bit, right? Yeah.

While I got you.

But I was just talking to somebody about that, and I don't wanna get into bullshit actor weeds here, but, you know, you are a guy who— clearly has many different pitches in his arsenal, and you can throw the ball a bunch of different ways, and I won't torture the metaphor, but if you're working with an actor that is doing something wildly different than what you assumed the night before when you were running your lines and making your plan for how you're gonna do the scene tomorrow, and you show up on set and that other actor is doing it completely differently than one would assume, do you— are you okay with pivoting and taking a different angle on your character?

Yeah.

Just as you said, to make that scene work. 'Cause a lot of actors, I find they just— they don't or they're not able to or they don't want to or—

No, I think for sure that's the fun part, isn't it? I mean—

Well, not for some. For some, it's just like, what the fuck are they doing?

You know?

Director, can I talk to you?

I tell young actors, I tell my daughter, it's like, look, just show up early, over-prepare, and don't be a dick. And over-prepare is the main thing.

Right.

You know? It's like, know it so well that you can act with anybody.

Yeah, that you can adjust with anybody at any kind of— anything they throw at you, you can adjust. Yeah.

And in the end, it's just a show.

It's just a show.

That's true. But wait, but Steve, do you find that you've kind of— on that thread, do you find that you've kind of changed the way you approach as you've gotten older? Do you work differently than you did when you were a young actor, or is it kind of the same?

No, not really.

Yeah?

No. I kind of do it— yeah, I'm the same. I get— I still get really nervous, man.

Yeah, yeah, me too.

I get scared when I go to a gig and, you know, I was nervous coming on here. I mean, you know.

I'm nervous right now.

You guys are amazing.

Sean Hayes, interviewer of the year.

Yeah.

Well, Sean, he's snorting a Xanax right now.

I don't do anything.

What— don't you find— do you remember the last time you weren't nervous for a part, and do you remember that performance being not that great? 'Cause I certainly do. The few times I've not been nervous, I just don't think it's any good. I think nerves are a good component to performance.

Yeah, no, I agree. I think that's— yeah, for sure.

Yeah, I agree. Let me ask you something. The Macaroni Art Production Company in Kentucky, is that what you said?

Yeah.

Well, there's a Kentucky office.

Oh, there's a Kentucky office?

Yes.

Oh, I thought it was the only office.

Well, no. I mean, come on.

Your office is your computer. Yeah, no, for sure. I just didn't know, like, how you get How is it you can accomplish all you want to accomplish from Kentucky for an industry?

There's a lot of work going on in Kentucky.

There is, actually.

Oh, there is?

Oh, okay.

Yeah, no, the film incentive here is really good. There's a lot of work that came here.

No, no, I think I know what he's driving at. It's like, it's obviously, you know, New York and LA are typically thought of as the centers of the entertainment industry, right?

Access to people and, you know.

Right. You find it easy to sort of work remotely, as it were.

Yeah, but, you know, we have a feature that's out in the zeitgeist now called She Dances. We shot it here.

Yeah.

And Rick Gomez is my partner. We wrote it, he directed it, I starred in it, my daughter stars in it.

Nice.

We shot it all here. And by shooting it here, we saved so much money.

I'm sure. I'm sure.

Yeah, do they have one of those rebates there in that state?

Yeah, we have a 30% and then 35% outside.

And is that above and below the line? Or is it just below the line?

Just below the line.

So tell Tracy what below and above the line is.

Well, the line is drawn between the— well, the above the line is typically the director, the producer, the writer, the actors, and then below the line is everybody that works in the crew and post-production and all that stuff.

Don't quote me on that. I think I— I don't know. Look it up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Got it.

I'm Googling it. This is all legally binding on this podcast.

But talk to me about Kentucky in general, though. Like, what do you— how did you find yourself— how did you move from Pennsylvania down to Kentucky? We—

I've been coming here since— my wife grew up here.

Okay.

So I've been coming here since '90, and I love Kentucky. And then we had kids, and we lived on a farm in New Jersey.

Yeah.

West Central New Jersey. And there's not a lot out there, you know? I mean, we kept saying like, we're only an hour from the Met.

Is that near Somerset?

It was Delaware Water Gap. You know where 80 hits Pennsylvania?

Yep. Yep.

It's like Blairstown area.

Easton, Pennsylvania is close by. Am I right?

Yeah. The Poconos, Stroudsburg. You go directly, directly west from the city. GW straight out. And so we had kids and it was like, I don't know if this is great out here for kids.

Because why? Because it was too isolating?

Yeah, there was not a lot out there. And so we decided, you know, I said, why don't we move to, you know, outside Lexington? And my wife, of course, was like, I'm not moving home. I'm like, well, I'm not living in your parents' basement. You're gonna get a sweet place.

Right, right, right. And you went ahead and you did.

Yes.

And the kids love it?

Yeah, the kids grew up here. They know nothing other than this place.

And how old are these little angels?

26 and 24.

Oh, gosh.

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Yeah, they're out.

Got you both. Wait a second. Steve, does Rick live in Kentucky as well?

No. Gomez lives up in Healdsburg in Sonoma County.

Oh, wow.

And we've shot stuff up there too.

That's California.

I love that. That town is awesome.

I haven't seen that dude. I used to know that dude 30 years ago. He's the best guy.

He's great.

I haven't seen him in forever. Please say hi to him for me.

I will, for sure.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And we will be right back.

And now back to the show.

What was it like working with your daughter in the film?

It was amazing.

Yeah? She's been acting a while, or was this the first thing?

Audrey went to musical theater, a great school called Baldwin-Wallace. Sean, you probably know about that. But it's a, you know, it's one of those— they didn't have these schools when we were young. It's very specific to musical theater. She was there 2 years, and then she started working in theater, musical theater.

So she's got a great voice, I bet.

She's got a great voice. She's an amazing dancer and even better actor.

Had you guys worked together before?

No.

And will you work together again, or is that it? Did it end okay?

Bridges burned?

Yeah, no, it was— the best thing is, I mean, it was like working on any other movie for me.

Right.

And that's a compliment to her.

It's gotta be wild, though, to adjust your brain to, like, dad to then coworker, right? Yeah.

Kinda, but I don't know.

No?

It was— we worked on it so much. We read. I was doing Silo, and she came to visit for, like, a month, and we read every day. And so we knew it back and forth, you know?

But you didn't have any moments on set where, like, they cut and you were like, hey, are you gonna do it like that every time? Because—

You know we're rolling, right?

You know—

yeah.

No.

No, she— I mean, see the movie. It's, you know, I'm her dad, so I'm gonna say great things, but—

I can't wait to see it.

The work is— she's phenomenal.

When does that come out? Is it—

It's been out. It premiered at Tribeca.

It's now—

you can rent it. rent it or buy it on, you know, your—

Okay, gotcha.

Buy it.

Forget rent, buy it.

Buy it. And then it comes out on Peacock on the 21st.

Gotcha.

Wow.

Amazing. Wait, so Steve, you grew up in Minnesota?

Yeah.

In the Twin Cities region? I love hearing the train in the background.

Do you hear the train? Is that fake?

Yeah, it's great. I love that.

No, it's literally— it's gonna go by and it's like 40 feet away.

You sound concerned. Is it pointed at you?

Yeah.

Oh, boy.

Oh, wow.

Hey, Steve, you wanna call us back? Oh, buddy.

There goes the train.

That's cool.

It's really cool.

It splits Main Street. It's, you know, it goes down the middle.

It'd be great if we panned the camera and it was just some dude who works for you walking by with a speaker.

Folksy.

Uh-huh. Yeah. Just add to the allure. Add to the allure, Bobby. Just grab the speaker and walk by.

Now, growing up in Minnesota, that probably makes you a hockey fan.

Yeah, yeah, I dig the hockey.

Ish.

I had 2 friends that played pro.

No kidding.

Will would like to know their names.

Dennis Vasky.

Oh, sure.

And Lance Pitlick. Lance was a defensive man. You know, Lance played for Ottawa. He played for— he played for a lot of teams.

Ottawa?

Oh, is that right?

Yo, get outta here. Yo, what's up, dude?

He was our quarterback in football at my high school.

And then he went ahead and—

And then he came up—

I know. These athletes, they can do anything they want, you know? And they can go out there and you put a golf club in their hands and off they go.

But those guys were insane, man. They would shoot pucks every day.

Yeah, insane.

Winter, summer, fall, spring, it didn't matter. And I was the guy who had the— we made, you know, goalie pads out of like an old couch.

Yeah.

And I would just suffer in front of, you know—

No, Steve.

I used to drive through— I spent all my summers on Lake of the Woods that dips into Minnesota up there.

Yeah, yeah.

'Cause my whole family's from Winnipeg, Manitoba. So I used to spend a lot of— and we would drive through Minnesota to get there a lot.

Oh, yeah.

It's cool.

It's beautiful. It's beautiful, man. It's beautiful country out there. Do you get back to Minnesota at all?

Yeah.

Yeah, I was just back visiting my mom.

How did you— so then how was it Twin Cities area, though, that you grew up?

I grew up in— I was born in Marshall. I grew up in Mankato, which is a smaller town south. And then I moved during, like, junior high and high school up to the suburbs. You know, I was a suburban kid.

And did you— so, and then how did you— because you started acting professionally pretty young, like your, like, 20s, right? Like early 20s. Like, you were getting work. How old were you when you did Reality Bites? Like, you weren't that old.

That was— I was— I had moved to New York. I'd been in New York for like 3 years.

Okay.

And then I got that.

Did you audition for that, for Reality Bites?

I did. I was doing— I was doing a play with Ethan Hawke at Playwrights Horizons.

Oh, nice.

And a play called Sophistry.

Yes.

Sean, I don't know that. I don't have none of that.

I do. Um, that was a great cast. It was like Anthony Rapp and Calista Flockhart and—

Wow. When was that?

Dick LaTessa.

Dick LaTessa was in Promises, Promises with me.

Oh, great. Dick is— he was one of the greatest, greatest guys of all time.

I mean, he was like 90 when he was in Promises, Promises. I was like, how are you singing and dancing at 90 years old? It was amazing.

Well, it's a decent show. It's a decent show.

Anyway, Ben came to see Ethan in the show because he was, you know, directing him in Reality Bites. And then I auditioned and I got the part.

That's so cool.

Was that a sort of a bit of a career changer doing Reality Bites?

Yeah, I thought it was gonna be much more of a career changer. You know, it's like your first movies, you go do 'em and you come home and you're like poorer than you were.

Like, how is that possible? Yeah, right, right. You pay to do it.

Yeah.

Right. What's been the opposite in your career, do you think? Like something you thought was just gonna be Not a stinker, but its success surprised you?

I would say, you know, like, I mean, a lot. I mean, I'm always surprised, I think.

Yeah.

You know? And then sometimes, I mean, comedies, you laugh your ass off on set and then you go see it and you're like, eh, it wasn't as funny as it was on the day.

Yeah. I'm gonna do Will's shot here.

You can blame the editor on that.

Oh, no. Well, I can't guess what he's thinking about. And I'm not gonna name movies.

Look, uh, Phineas and Ferb. What about, uh, Out of Sight? Night Train?

Out of Sight. You know what, I was, I was really surprised when I saw Out of Sight for the first time. It blew me away, and I had no clue I was in that movie. No, I was, I was— I remember Cheadle sitting in front of me. He was like, isn't it great? I'm like, I haven't seen it, man. This was like the premiere. He's like, you haven't seen it? I'm like, no. He's like, oh, man! And he, like, he watched me react to the movie.

Yeah.

It was like, it was really cool.

But like Will said, that thing you do, that was pretty— that was a pretty big career-turner.

That was huge for me. You think?

Yeah.

Yeah, it was off—

Was that Tom— Tom Hanks directed that, right?

Yeah. Yeah, Tom Hanks.

Was that his first thing that he directed?

No.

Yeah.

Was it?

I think he directed maybe an episode of, like, From Earth to the Moon, like that HBO series.

And Three Boozled Buddies.

Yeah, maybe. But yeah, that was crazy because Tom was at the height of the height of, you know, and everybody that worked on that movie was like phenomenal.

Was that—

I did—

I missed it. Was it singing and dancing?

No, it was about a 1960s rock band that was like a one-hit wonder.

Yeah. It was a great movie.

Was there any musical performance at all in that?

Yeah, we played a bunch of songs. We rehearsed.

And the song, That Thing You Do.

That Thing You Do.

Right, so same exact thing.

JB, you've never seen it?

No.

It's good. You should see it. It's one of those movies that people come up to me and go, you know, it's like Thanksgiving, my family watches it every year kind of thing.

It's had this, like, it's had this super long shelf life. It's funny, that movie, right? I mean, it's—

Yeah. Did you have to fake the music playing, or do you know how to do that stuff?

Well, we were— that was crazy because Tom and Garry Getzman had us rehearse for like a month just as a band.

Yeah.

Because they didn't want to waste time, not us screwing up and not being on. So we had to—

Seems reasonable.

Yeah. And you know, when you're back in the day on film and— Yeah.

What instrument were you playing?

Lead guitar.

Oh, shit.

Whoa.

Oh, wow.

And did you have prior experience?

Yeah, but I was just like a folky kind of, you know, acoustic guy.

But you had a rock job.

Actually, Ben Stiller bought me my first guitar.

Did he?

Oh, wow.

During Reality Bites.

Just because of Reality Bites?

Because he, you know, I would sit in my trailer all day and he was like— I was really anxious to play guitar.

Hey, why don't you learn how to play guitar?

We keep calling him in early and not getting to his scene, so let's buy the kid a guitar.

Hey, Zahn, why don't you do something with your freaking time, okay?

Yeah, while you're sitting in your honey wagon.

Hey, think about it back then, though. It's like, you tell people now, you have all these devices and things to keep you preoccupied. Back in the day, man, you like— I would like draw on stuff.

Yeah, read books.

Yeah, read books, play guitar.

I'd take a nap.

I used to be good about reading books back then. Oh.

Oh, Sean's gotta train.

Hey, that didn't take more than 15 minutes to find.

That's where Sean's been.

Congrats, Seanie. How's that dial-up service?

Wait, but you know what? I'm thinking about Out of Sight, that you did with Steven Soderbergh and obviously Clooney. And then you've worked with so many— You've worked with so many— You were with Denzel Washington, right, in Crimson Tide? I mentioned Tony Scott. And then I was thinking about—

Werner Herzog.

I was gonna say Werner Herzog was—

Richard Linklater. I bet—

Rescue Dawn.

Right?

Yeah. Yeah. What was it like working with— I've always wanted to ask you.

What was Dawn's last name?

What? No, it's not about rescuing a girl named Dawn. Oh.

I thought she was in trouble. Or he could have been in trouble.

Or Dawn.

Yeah.

Old Donnie.

But it was you and Christian Bale rescued Dawn. And what was that process like working with— How did that work? How did that movie materialize?

I, um, it was originally a documentary that Ted Werner made called Little Dieter Needs to Fly about this real Dieter Dengler who was a Navy pilot. His first mission over Vietnam was shot down.

Sean's got the cutest little Dieter Dengler.

I'm gonna post it later.

Especially when he's getting in line for a cold shower. Cold shower, sure.

Anyway, he gets captured, and then he's in this camp. And so it was a really heavy movie, and we lost all this weight and went out to the jungle.

Did you know— but did Werner Herzog— was that another one you went in, you read for it, right?

I found out that he was doing it, and I just told— I called all my people and went like, I have to meet him. This is one of my favorite documentaries. And so I met him. I went to his house. up in, like, the hills. And he wanted to know what I wanted to eat. And I was like, oh, what do I say to impress him? You know, I was like, steak? And so I went, he cooked me a steak. He just stood at a skillet. And he was— and he showed me— it was crazy. We had this steak.

Wait, did he eat too? Did he eat too or did he watch you eat? He just watched.

No, we shared a steak.

Okay, okay.

Oh, wait a second. He shared the same plate?

I can't remember specifically, but it was very—

I mean, was he tarps off or was he wearing a shirt?

See, Steve, we bring everything back around. So you keep your knees bent, okay?

Okay. Oh, my God. Yeah. Wow. Wait, so you go up to— I want to know about this. So you go to Werner Herzog's house that he's probably renting in the hills in California.

Yeah.

You're talking about the movie. Then you agree and you guys— he wants you to come and do the movie, or you read from—

you don't read from it that day. He was like, Steve, I think you're better to play not the lead part, but the other part. You know, I'm like, great, fine. I'll play fucking anything. I don't care.

Not so much Dieter.

Yeah.

Yeah, not— yeah, so— and then it went on forever. It was like, you know, one of those independent movies that fell apart, and Christian would call me and go, eat tonight. I don't think the movie's happening. I was like, fuck. And then it'd be like, stop. Stop eating. It's back on. And, uh, but it was phenomenal. It was amazing. It was— I mean, Werner is genius, and he's also the guy on the set where you're like, does—

is— what's happening?

Really? And then, like, a fucking butterfly will fly through, and he and the operator will just run off into the woods, and you're like 3 hours late. Oh, one time I was in my coveralls, I get grazed with a bullet, and he was, like, screaming at hair and makeup, more blood, boy! And he was like, let me do it! And he grabs it, and he puts all this blood on my face, and then his hands are covered in blood, fake blood, and he doesn't know what to do. He just looks at me, and he wipes it off on my costume.

No way. Wow.

Swear to God.

Swear to God. Yeah, that's cool.

Yeah, it was awesome. And Christian was one of the funniest guys I ever worked with, by the way.

Really? Christian Bale, yeah.

Oh, my God.

I'm such a big fan of his.

He's so funny. Yeah, me too.

Great and funny.

So talented.

Would you do any of that weight gain, weight loss stuff that he does so sort of seamlessly? I mean, what was it, The Machinist?

The Machinist.

He went down to look like £120.

You should know, Steve, Jason had a picture of Christian in The Machinist on his wall in front of his treadmill.

For years.

For years. And he just looked like— Running towards it.

As his running board.

Never worked. Never worked.

With a carrot above.

And then I put up a picture of when he— what was it? When he played Dick Cheney. That worked. That worked for me. Oh, that's right.

You thought it was that. It turned out it was a mirror.

No, he put on a ton for that, right? I just don't think I can do it at this age.

Yeah, he lost a lot of weight. We shot the end of the movie first. So he lost all the weight. And then he had like a week, and we're in Thailand, and I remember seeing him on the street, and he was walking up and he had Quarter Pounders in his pockets.

No way.

In his cargo pants. I swear to God, he was—

With cheese?

He was gaining—

Careful, Sean.

Gaining weight in like a week.

Sounds amazing. Wow.

Getting all puffy and a lot of sodium.

How about that?

Yeah.

I don't think playing the Hamburglar I only did—

I lost £40 for that. And you know what? You did?

Oh my God.

Yeah.

And you know what was really liberating? It's— I lost— I was down to like, you know, whatever junior high weight, and I still had back fat.

Yeah. That's hard stuff to lose, you know?

You know, but it was like, oh great, this will never go away unless I'm in like a lifeboat, you know, for a month.

I feel like the back fat is for— you know, like on the old like I Love Lucy shows or whatever, they put on that back fat.

Oh, you've got a point of view on back fat. Yeah, let me give you a hot take.

I got a hot take on this. You know the belts, the little vibrating belts in the old-timey stuff?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Is that what those are for? They just shake it till it falls off?

Yeah, maybe.

I don't understand how those work.

Yeah, I don't understand. What made you think of that? I know exactly, the conveyor belt thing.

Yeah, right?

It vibrates.

Yeah.

And you're like, what does it do?

I have a friend of mine who played professional hockey, who will remain nameless.

Dion Phaneuf.

He played for many years. And I won't say—

Teddy Purcell.

And he talked about being in a fight.

Brendan Shanahan.

This is a true story.

He was in a fight.

It's Shanny.

It's gotta be Shanny.

Yeah, I know you can't confirm or deny, but so Shanny's doing what?

So not Shanny, not— I'm gonna say not Shanny.

Okay, Sean Avery.

Huge fight, uh, in the NHL, and there's a big pileup. There's a real Donnybrook is happening, right? Everybody's going at everybody.

Tarps are coming off.

Tarps are coming off, eh? Like, guys, everybody's dropped the Coopers.

Everybody's just going at her, right?

Yeah, right. Yeah, just a real tune-up going on. And there's a big pile. And my friend said at one point he didn't realize who was grabbing what. And he realized there was another guy in the pile, and he had his hand on his back fat, and he just grabbed it and twisted it. And he said he heard from the bottom of the pile, ahh! A scream.

Not the fat!

They should teach that in self-defense classes. Just grab the fat.

They all gave him the nickname Back Fat after that, the dude on the opposing team. I swear to God, it's a true story. It's a cheap shot.

It really is. Dennis Vasky, my friend who played pro hockey, he, he woke me up. I slept over at his house and he woke me up doing a double titty twister.

Oh God.

And he was a hockey player.

Painful.

I don't know what it is.

They're such tough dudes.

We'll be right back.

And now back to the show.

Wait, what sports have you played, Steve?

Football and baseball.

Oh, you did? Yeah.

Full stop.

That's that.

Now, does that make you a Viking fan or a Twin fan?

I'm a Vikings fan and a Twins fan.

Oh boy. Yeah. So the Twins, that's a tough bus to ride on, huh?

Jason, cool Jason.

No, not really. I mean, they're doing good this year.

Are they?

But we had '87 and '91.

Oh boy. Looking to reach back. Uh-huh. I know, it's pretty far back when they used to play in the big baggie, right?

Wait a second, I'm remembering Kirby Puckett. '87, you guys beat, uh, is that that old Dome Stadium? And you guys—

yeah, Toronto.

It was a great series.

Probably beating up on Toronto right now.

No, because they're— no, in the World Series, uh, it was not Toronto. It was—

it was in '87, might have been, uh, the Giants.

Do you want me to say Cardinals? Yes, it was.

Wow. How do you know that?

Right on, man.

Yeah, I can see it.

Game 7.

Yeah, I can see it.

And '91—

You put another piece of gum in your mouth. Um, well, how about those Vikings? Are you looking forward to— the Vikings are looking good this year?

I don't know, we'll see.

I mean, you don't need to get shitty.

I mean, hey, sorry, hang on a second. We're here with the Morning Zoo crew. Go ahead, Sean. You got another— you got another—

you got another card to play?

Here he comes.

Here it comes. Go ahead, Sean. It's just the button, the red one. There you go.

Oh!

Go ahead, Will. You got a— you got a wham, wham, wham or something? Go ahead. Anybody?

No?

All right, we're gonna be right back after these messages.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh, God. All right, wait, Steve. Wait, football. You played football. Go ahead, Billy.

I was gonna say theater stories. I was gonna get into it 'cause Steve's done a lot of theater.

Well, I'm gonna ask you a question about football first, Get a theater story right now.

I'll segue into—

Yeah, a theater story. But football, what position did you play and how long did you play? 'Cause I played as a kid.

Did you? I played junior high and high school, and I was a cornerback, and I returned punts and kicks.

Oh, wow.

So you don't mind getting hit, do you?

I do.

You run right into the wall, don't you?

I was scared shitless. I actually could not do a— I couldn't do a fair catch because I couldn't coordinate my hands. and then catching the ball.

Oh, really?

So I would just catch it, and they thought I was a badass, and it was just because I was mentally challenged. I mean, I just fucking couldn't do it.

You couldn't time it out.

No, I couldn't. I'd go, wait!

Now, that— what was going through your head there? Were you thinking, I can't throw up the arm early enough to get it back down into catching position, 'cause if I throw up the hand too early, they're not gonna see it, you know? Right? 'Cause you gotta throw it up late so that they're looking at you. Right? But then it's too late to get the hand down into a catching position.

Right.

Like, when do you call for a fair catch? And am I calling it too early? Right.

And I could make a touchdown.

They're not looking, and then they're gonna hit me.

And I'm gonna get yelled at for that.

Sure.

Right. I played safety, but I don't know what that means anymore. But I remember that was my position. And I would be so nervous because I'd be in this— what is it called? Huddle? Shower? No, you know, when you—

He played safety in the shower.

Fuck, man.

Bless him.

Let him finish his story.

It's gonna be great.

Oh my God, I'm crying.

Is there a vest on at all, Sean? Something bright and orange? Just, just an orange vest in the shower waiting for your folks to come through like a crossing guard, right?

No, no, you're in the line of scrimmage. Is that what it's called?

In the line of scrimmage? That's a book.

You're in the stance. You're in the stance ready for the—

what is that called?

You're in the whatever. And I would be so nervous because I was—

I would—

the guys across from me would be like, I'm going to fuck you. I'm going to fuck you up. I'm going to beat the shit out of you. Whatever they're going to— they're talking shit right before the ball is snapped.

So you may have been lined up in the wrong position as a safety.

If you were on the line.

Yeah, I don't know about that.

Oh, is that what it is? Anyway, I would get so scared because I would be so intimidated that I would take it personally.

Right. What did you hear? What he said to me?

Yeah, totally. That's exactly what—

that's why they had you start lining up in the shower.

That's right.

I'm gonna sue you.

Um, now Steve, can you— how'd we get to Macaroni Art as a title of your, uh, of your company there?

You—

are you a cook? No, Rick and I were just, you know, we just want to make shit basically. And we, and we, and we, we were like, ah, hey man, if it's like— we'll just, we'll just do stuff.

Like macaroni art, like his kids, like he glued it to paper.

Scale of 1 to 10, how high were you guys when you came up with this?

Yeah. What was the substance?

6.

6. Okay, good. Thank you for the honest answer.

No, but it came quick.

When did Sam Rockwell run into your life?

Sam and I have known each other since early in New York.

Yep.

And then we did a movie together called Safe Men. Sure.

Oh, yes.

Which was really— with Giamatti.

Yeah.

It was a great— Jon Hamburg's first movie, and he wrote it. He's brilliant.

Yes.

Mm-hmm.

It's like— it's one of those movies that I get approached every once in a while, somebody will come up and say, hey, that plays— that played on a loop in our frat house, or whatever.

Well, now you know Jason's directing Sam. You probably know that as we speak. No, no.

Are you directing Sam right now?

Yes, sir. Just finished.

Great.

Just finished.

He's so nice. Oh, you're done with the actors, Jay, but you have to go back and shoot other stuff, or—

I'm shooting with 2 other actors. And Sam himself is probably gonna be replaced, but it's not that much to reshoot.

This late? This late into production?

Yeah, well, I wanted to get all the way to the end to see if he's gonna pull it out, and it just never got better.

God.

But it's not a lot of scenes. It'll be fine. It'll be good. Steve, what's your availability?

I'm open.

I'm good.

I'm pretty good.

Wait, so Steve, back to macaroni art. Do you, do you, uh, develop things for other people and other things, or is it just for you guys?

Careful, Steve. You're about to get a script in your inbox. Really careful.

Just our stuff right now. It's, you know, we're— we got a, we got a, we got like a, a docuseries we, we did on a chef, Whedon Michael, that's in town here. And, um, you know, we're doing our own stuff right now.

Every time I think— I keep looking at that art and I keep thinking about my favorite New Yorker cartoon of the one, the piece of rigatoni pizza pasta. He's on the phone, he's like, right? And he's got a face of— and he says, Fusilli, you crazy bastard, how the hell are you? It's my favorite New Yorker cartoon of all time.

Hey, I was going to say, I need to get some David Cross Merch. I did a movie with David, and it was amazing.

He's the man.

Such an incredible, funny dude.

Incredible stand-up, too.

Yeah.

Now, when you're not making macaroni art and you're not doing your million things, you seem to be everywhere. What are you doing? What are you doing with your time? Like, what's the thing when you're back there that you're doing that's not related to your craft, your art, or your whatever? What do you do?

I live on a farm, so I— that keeps me, you know, I work on the farm.

What do we got on the farm?

What do you mean work on the farm?

I got a couple of horses. I got some goats.

Really? I fix stuff.

I mow my fields.

Oh, wow.

I've just spent 8 days trimming all my trees.

Do you drink the goat milk or anything?

No, just point and laugh.

Point and laugh, yeah.

They're pets.

Oh, they're pets.

Okay.

And then what— tell me about cutting these trees down. So you're up there, you got yourself like a lift or something, or do you have yourself—

No, I have an extended pole saw and then I have a handsaw and that's really all you need. It's kind of a gym.

And then you got one of those chippers and you get all that stuff on the ground and you gotta throw— you gotta grind it all up?

No, then I have a huge bonfire that I start and when the coals are, you know, you gotta have a real dry one that's got a lot of wood in it. And then you keep the fire going basically. It's so hot that you can put anything green on top. So I have a side-by-side, you know, mule, Kawasaki mule, and I fill that up and I go to the fire and I throw it in and I just keep going.

Jesus. I mean, look at the 3 of us.

I know.

I have no idea what to do with my hands.

So worried about getting a callus just even hearing that.

I listen to podcasts. I put my headphones on and I go all day.

Really?

Yeah, yeah.

Wow.

So you got a bunch of rideable farm equipment out there. That would be fun for me. You got any like those handsome green John Deere things?

The Gators?

I do. I have a, you know, big tractor that I pull a 12-foot batwing.

That's gotta be fun going down to one of those stores and buying those things, huh? Like a real man.

They're a little pricey, but yeah.

It gets so hot down there. You're on your tractor mowing the lawn.

But you know what? You get on a tractor and you mow, you just slow down. It's like forced meditation or whatever.

Are you sipping on a sweet tea? Sorry.

I don't like the sweet tea. I like just plain tea.

Sorry, it's all I got.

You got any air conditioning on those riding mowers, by the way?

Nah, open.

I used to.

I used to have a cab with AC, but when it breaks, then it's like you're in hell.

'Cause you can't recamp the cab.

When the AC breaks and you can't take the—

The doors off.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Totally.

So Steve, now you got Chad Powers coming up. It's airing right around now.

September 3rd, it drops. Yes, September 3rd.

All episodes.

Season 2.

This is with that, uh, that Glen Powell guy. That piece of ass Glen Powell.

Yeah.

Boy, I love Glen.

He's such a—

he's a great guy.

He's a very nice guy.

Great dude.

Nice guy, easy to look at. He's got talent coming out the ears.

Yeah.

He's so fucking good in this show.

Yeah, he's a great actor.

It's— it's— I'm like, dude, when we showed up first day, I'm like, my God, he's in prosthetics. You know, he's like playing this crazy character. And it's like, Oh my God, man. You gotta swing hard. This is a big swing, dude.

Yeah.

Like, you can't— you gotta go all in, man, or else what do you do?

Right.

Yeah, you have to.

Is Peyton Manning associated with the show at all?

Yeah, Peyton and Eli. Eli did a video that so many people saw where he put prosthetics on, he went to Penn State, and the only person that knew it was him was the coach.

Yeah.

The head coach. So everybody was— so he's like, you know, at the walk-on tryout, and he's just slinging these balls and people—

Launching rockets.

Who's this weird dude that's like 30, you know? And so that was the premise that Michael Waldron and Glenn, they pitched it and they said, it's this series that— and I read it and I thought, this is the dumbest thing I've ever read. This is crazy. Yeah.

Prosthetics?

How is this gonna work?

And it worked.

How about that?

And you got the gang from Omaha are still involved. They're producers on it, I imagine.

Yeah.

Peyton, you have to deal with notes from Peyton.

Can these two guys—

This freaking guy.

You know what I mean?

Go ahead, Will. Go ahead. Let it out, man.

No, you just got incomings from Peyton, and it's just like, you know what I mean? This fucking guy. We love Peyton. We love Peyton. We love him both.

Yeah, we love all 3 of them, you know?

Oh, yeah. And Coop. Will, we love.

Yeah, Will. You get Will going on Coop, boy, uh, we'll be here all day.

Have you ever met— have you ever met Coop before, Steve?

No.

The third— oh, my God, he is—

No, I haven't.

He's an absolute gem of a guy. We love—

The secret sauce.

Oh, he's the secret sauce.

It's a fun show, man. I get to play a coach. I mean, it's like— it's like the things, the checkmarks that you, you have as, like, a 10-year-old.

Like, wouldn't it be cool someday to, like, give one of those locker room speeches.

I want to be— yeah, I want to— I want to be inspiring, and I want my team to run out after me. I could check that off, you know? I want to be in a Western.

Have they done that?

Yeah, yeah, I did that this season.

Yeah, you've played so— I'm just thinking, you've done so many different characters, so many different— like, in, in so many different levels. Is there—

Character actor.

Well, yeah, I mean, please. But I mean, like, I, I—

We should all be so lucky.

We should all be so lucky to be able to play all these, you know, do all these different things. And is there something that's out there before we let you go? Because we kind of But is there something out there that you're like, I want to do? Like you were saying, like, you want to do it, like you always dreamed of, like, doing a coach, playing a coach, whatever. Is there kind of a role out there that you're— or something that you've always wanted to do that you haven't done yet?

I don't— no, I don't know. I really— I mean, I could say I would love to go back to the theater. I'd like to do that. But as far as, like, something specific, I really feel like I've done it all. I wanted to be in a war movie. I wanted to be in a Western. I wanted to experience that. I've experienced all those things. And now it's like, it's a surprise. It's like, do you want to play this guy that's, like, in silo?

Yeah, surprise.

That hasn't seen anyone for 40 years, and he's basically 11 years old.

Yeah.

And he's alone. He's been alone for 40— I was like, yeah, that's amazing. Oh, my God.

Yeah. And then you just did a movie a movie with your daughter. Like, that's pretty awesome. I mean, you're, you're, you're living all your dreams.

It's really cool.

Yeah, good for you, pal.

Yeah, Steve, listen, man, big— we're just such, we're just such big fans.

Thank you for showing up for us.

I know, we're lucky to have you.

Thank you. You guys are so stoked to be on this. You guys are amazing.

Keep that macaroni art coming, okay? Yeah, yeah, please.

Okay, just send us all some macaroni merch.

Yeah, thank you, Steve. Chad Powers comes out September 3rd. It drops the new season, and She Dances is gonna be available on Peacock. Dude, you got it all going on. The great Steve Zahn.

Thank you so much, dude. Thanks, Steve.

Thank you, Steve.

Thanks, guys.

Good to see you.

Bye, pal.

See ya.

Steve Zahn, right?

Steve Zahn. The number of characters he's played. I'd love to put, like, side by side all his looks just to be like, wow, look at how different he is in every single—

Just like a mosaic. All the characters that he's played.

He's played.

And then when you pull back, it's like, Those images.

It'd be an image of me. Oh, sorry. Steve Zahn.

We don't make one bit—

Yes.

Do you— I, uh— He's one of those guys, every time you turn something— Every time he shows up, you're like, oh, yeah, man. Not only am I in good hands, I'm so happy to see him.

So many—

Yeah. How exciting would it be to act in a scene with him too? Like, the very first day, you're just kind of looking across from him, they're about to roll, and you're like, okay, I wonder what's coming my way. I better be ready.

Right.

Oh, God. The nerves. Talk about nerves.

Speaking of— no, not yet. Speaking about getting ready, uh, Wil, it looks like you are getting ready to, uh, start working, uh, on an astronaut coming up. You got a nice astronaut haircut.

You're looking really good.

Have you started shooting yet?

No, no. Uh, we're about a month away.

A month out.

Yeah, just over a month until we start.

I mean, it's one of the things I'm— I'm— all joking aside, it's one of the things I'm really looking forward to. is you playing that part and watching that series because it's right up my alley, and I can't wait to see you do it.

Yeah, I'm excited. He's— my character's not an astronaut himself. He's a former, you know, pilot, test pilot, whatever. He's in charge of the astronaut program, and it's— yeah, it's pretty— it's pretty intense.

Is there tension there between the astronauts and you? Like, hey, you can't tell us what's going on. You've never been an astronaut. Is there any— is there a line like that?

There's a lot of regret. There's a lot of regret. There's no line like that. I mean, I don't know. This, by the way, if— do you mind if we borrow that?

Yeah, fine.

Fine with me.

Oh, wait, there's a lot of regret on your character's part because he never— he never—

We're gonna watch. We're gonna watch.

He wanted to get up. He wanted to leave the atmosphere.

Just watch my eyes. Just watch my eyes.

Just watch my eyes. Watch your eyes. Are you gonna tell the story right there in the windows?

Well, I'm a storyteller.

Yeah, with the eyes.

You ready for this? You ready? Sure.

Smoke, it's where?

It's where?

It's where?

Oh, Shaunie's got more.

Yeah, we're gonna— oh wow, we'll trim that up.

Hey guys, here it comes. Hey, I just didn't want the train to pass us by.

That was great. That was worth it. That was worth it.

Way to bring it back. Smart.

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