Transcript of "Sandra Bullock"

Okay, so the secret to a peanut butter sandwich— I don't do the jelly, don't even start. I get the knife and I stir up the peanut butter, and then on the bread, you have to wipe it all the way to the edge, and you put the other piece of bread on, you slice it right down the middle, don't do corners, don't do fours, and then you wash it down with a nice cold glass of Smartless. Welcome to Smartless.

Smartless. Smartless. Smartless.

Um, Jason, I just got off the phone with Amanda. I can't believe you were in the airport for 18 hours. Is that right?

Yeah, it wasn't fantastic.

That's unbelievable.

Wait, before you start, I can't believe you got off the phone with Amanda. Okay, go ahead, Jason.

No, that was 19 hours. The plane flight to Iceland was just 18.

Oh, wow. Jason, what happened?

Because it was delayed?

Just a delay. Yeah, a bunch of weather in New York, and that meant we couldn't take off from LA. And then there was a layover once we got to New York. And these are all— no one's complaining. We're out here. We're living our dream here in Iceland.

And Iceland, I can't believe you're there. What time is it?

Right now it is 4:30 in the afternoon.

Are you exhausted?

Yes, yes. But you know, I've got just a beak full of schnitz. I'm ready to go.

Oh, go, go, go.

Yeah, I got piped into some great Icelandic stuff.

Oh, you've been doing so great all these years.

Oh, I know, everything's white here. So it's just like, give me a bag of that.

You can't tell what's what.

Yeah, no, I'm up for it. I'm into it.

Well, you know, I'm glad you made it.

Yeah.

How are you guys today? Good.

Will.

Will has not run out of gum. This is great news.

I'm trying to keep it quiet.

I'm trying to keep it quiet.

You know, they've got lozenges and I think some cream. They've got nicotine cream gum.

Is that nicotine gum for real?

Of course it is.

No, I've got the pouch in and then I use gum because I need to kind of cut it with the gum.

Sure.

Wait a second. So you have a pouch? You have a pouch in your mouth and gum?

And regular gum.

Regular gum.

A regular gum, that kind of cuts it for me.

What do you mean cuts it? Like makes it less, less powerful?

Yeah. And just like the taste, the taste of it, because you get a little bit of like some of that thing that I don't really enjoy.

I'll do, I'll do a glass of water and a glass of apple juice, and I cut the juice with the water because sometimes the apple juice is too strong for you. Yeah, it is. Yeah.

And, and, but do you find that if you drink both that your pull-ups get full early? Like, do you have to, like, you know, my, my adult pull-ups? Yeah.

Oh my God, Sean, I just love him so much. Really? He is a teddy bear with a heart. He drinks full, whole milk, right? It's always whole.

No, no, it's usually skim milk.

Oh.

I'll drink whole milk, but it's usually skim. Yeah.

What's the difference between skim milk and 2%?

Well, the skim tastes a little bit— the whole milk smells a little funny. It's gonna taste a little too thick for me.

Sure.

But I like a milkshake with whole milk.

Yeah, no, I know that. But what about— but 2% versus skim? Do we know? Is it just a different name for the same thing?

Well, it's less fat.

It's like half. I think it's like a step between, isn't it?

It's less fat.

Well, which is less?

The skim milk is zero fat.

Oh, really?

Right. Yeah.

2% still leaves a little bit on top. Has not been fully skimmed.

I think that's right.

This is correct. I think that's right. Yeah.

Listener, are you still with us?

Yeah.

I also never understood why— I also never understood, like, 1%, 2%. Is it really that much different? Like, the difference between 1% and 2% isn't that much in life.

Well, 2% is double.

It's in the thickness of the cheesecloth, what you drag across the top of the tin pail.

Would you be upset if I had t-shirts made that say, I like milkshakes?

No, I would wear one.

Okay.

I would totally wear one.

And on the back, can I print, skim me? Go ahead and skim me.

Hey, I went to the Hollywood Bowl 2 nights ago. It was gorgeous. Hang on, Will.

Sean's got a bit. Hold on.

No bit. No bit other than I was there literally 2 nights ago and I was listening to Bizet and like Carmen and stuff. And I looked up at the stage and like, we're going to be there October 17th. And I was like, it didn't feel that scary. Like in my mind it's scary. But then when I was there, I was like, okay, it's a little less scary.

But did you turn around and look at the crowd behind you? Yes. Which would be our perspective. That's where it gets scary.

I know my stomach dropped a little bit then.

But, um, but yeah, I hope there's more than just friends and family sitting in that big huge, uh, bowl.

I know.

You hear that, listener?

Listener, get yourself a ticket and just help us out a little bit because it's going to be, it's going to be scary, and it'd be less scary if there's friends.

October 17th.

Um, guys, right, you're going to be less scary today because it's somebody we all know.

Sorry, wait, just remind me so I don't miss it. When, when do I need to be at the bowl? What day?

October 17th.

October 17th.

That's a Saturday at the Hollywood Bowl. So if you're coming from out of town, that you have plenty of time to get there after work Friday. You know, you can come Saturday morning if you want, if you want to try to sleep at our house. And then if you're coming from the— even coming from the East Coast, you got the time difference. I mean, you leave on a 9:00 AM flight, you're here by noon.

Yeah, it's a 3-hour net difference.

Yeah.

What if the 3 of us slept like the old people in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, in one bed?

One big wide bed in the head.

Yeah.

Oh God, if we ever do another doc, that we got to do a shot of that.

Um, all right guys, my guest, you're You're gonna love this person.

Okay.

Well, we'll see.

You already do. You already do.

No, no, no.

Because she's very close to us. My guest today, she spent 12 years taking piano lessons. She says she hated every minute of it. Her mother's work kept the family moving back and forth between Virginia and Europe. She left college 3 credits short of graduating and waited tables in New York before eventually took her— before her dreams took her west.

Whoa. And came back.

Horrible.

Wait, is it Sandy? Wait.

Oh yes, it is.

I got the laugh.

I got the laugh.

There it is.

Wait, this is the best line. She once shared her home with 2 rescue dogs who had 5 legs between them.

Oh yeah, it's definitely Sandy. I think she's still got the one leg.

It's Sandra.

We love her.

Sandra.

Sandra, take my own life.

I heard the laugh.

I'm here. I'm here.

That's Sandy laughing. That was the worst intro Best show ever.

Sandy D. Here's my question. I was listening to you guys converse. Do you guys really— is this how you guys speak to and with each other when no one else is listening? Are these the subjects that you guys cover, like milk fat content, things like that?

It's just that bad. And somehow we thought this might be worth monetizing.

Yeah.

Is that what you're doing? You're sort of putting something out there so you get— well, Sean. Sean's the only one who drinks the milk in this group, so you'll get the free cases.

Yeah.

Organic, right? You prefer organic?

Well, yeah, I don't want to know. What's non-organic look like? I mean, talk to me about that.

It doesn't have the smell.

Yeah. Seanie, do you do your own grocery shopping?

Sometimes. I hate— I don't like grocery shopping.

Do you order online or do you go?

No, I go. I don't like grocery shopping, stopping for gas, or doing the dishes.

Oh, so you mean being a normal person?

Yeah.

Yeah.

You like to have staff doing all those things?

Yeah. What do you want? I like private jets and I like jewels.

I like gold bars.

Okay.

Fucking relatable.

At least he's honest. He's honest. He's not trying to be humble.

Right. That's why I got an electric car, so I don't have to stop for gas anymore.

Now, Sandy, something that's always impressed me about you is that you're a great big huge-ass star, but you get out there with the people.

Yes, she always does.

You don't care.

When you say, "I don't care," what does that mean?

Well, you don't care about being stalked.

You don't care how you looked? No, no, no.

About engaging with the public. Public and people saying hi. I, I love you.

What do you do? Are you standoffish?

No, no, no, no. But I mean, we, we, we know people mutually that I think, uh, have, have, are, are every bit as famous as you but feel like they might not be able to get out there and into it.

Um, I mean, I can think of, uh, is it for safety that they don't feel—

it could be.

It might be safety.

Well, but you've had your brushes with things that are unsafe, yet you still—

you're out there. You come to my house, so it's my house that's unsafe.

Sandra Bullock, where are you right now?

Hi, cutie patootie. I'm in Jackson Hole, Wyoming.

Oh, yes. You are so pretty there. I love it.

It's so great. The kids are on the water. They're fishing this morning.

I love that. Last year, by the way, I listened to your previous episode that you did for us. And years ago, what did we talk about? I know. So we—

well, I was not mentally there during that show, so I don't even know.

5 years ago.

Yeah.

Can you believe that?

Yeah.

It was like one of our first, what, 50 episodes, probably?

Something like that. Yeah.

Yeah. Why was your head not there? I forget. Sandy, did you—

'Cause it was the whole Bryan thing. The whole— we were in the thick of it.

Yeah. I was gonna get there, and I had this whole interview.

I don't remember anything.

And we were COVIDing too, weren't we?

Yeah.

Somewhere, probably.

Right.

Yeah. Talk about isolated.

Now, do you— well, I'm gonna jump ahead.

First of all, hold on. Before you go too far, is that a legit shelf stock behind you, or is that just for camera?

It's 'cause it's fabulous.

Fabulously stocked.

Well, it's a mess. It's just like—

No, but it feels very curated. A nice mess.

Nice. Yeah, well, I got little Grogu right there.

I see that.

And is that Paulson?

It looks like Sarah Paulson.

It looks like Sarah Paulson.

Now it is Sarah Paulson. And the Emmy on the other side.

This is from Adam Driver. This is— I don't know what that is.

That's an Emmy.

Oh, that's not an Emmy.

This is a printout.

Any faxes coming through? Any faxes coming through right now? You want to check the faxes?

Wait, but I think you've corrected— you've corrected us before. That is only one of your Emmys.

This is correct. They're all over me. Like, I, I can't pan.

What do you—

I know.

Have you forgotten how many Emmys you have?

How many do you have?

I, I can't— we don't have time. Oh God, it's just incredible for you. But you know, the sad part is nobody knows who won anything ever. Okay, so it's true.

They know what you wore.

I was going to wait, Sandy, but I'm going to go back and get everything else. But let's get into Practical Magic 2 because I just saw it. You did? Because Sandy's a friend and I got a link and I got a little secret something. Oh, and it was I fucking loved it.

Did you really?

You're not just saying that?

No, are you kidding? Well, first of all, I'm the biggest nerd. I like fantasy, sci-fi, you know, that kind of stuff. Harry Potter.

I can tell when Sean's lying. He's not lying.

No, I loved it so much. And I loved your performance. Nicole, Diane Wiest, Stockard Channing. Yeah, all the kids.

I can't wait to rewatch the first one.

Joey and Maisie.

Yeah. It's so good.

Do you recommend rewatching the first one before the second one?

Yeah, well, you don't have to. That's a callback.

You don't have to.

But there are some callbacks. There are definitely some callbacks. But if you've never seen the first, you don't— you can pick up.

And the first one was like, you know, it wasn't like a massive, gigantic hit, but then it became one later. It became this cult thing.

Yeah.

And so it made sense to do the sequel because it was like, "Oh, it's really cool.

I loved it so much." How long did you guys wait in between each one?

I mean, a couple decades.

Yeah.

Wow.

Awesome.

I mean, when the first one came out, we were eviscerated by the critics.

Oh, really?

No.

It was, "How many women do you need in a film?" You know, how many tones do you need in a film? Comedy and drama and magic? And, like, it was a slight— I found myself, like, crouching down. By the end of the junket, you could just see I was like this, a C-shape. And then you just go, okay, that was— We thought we were doing something really original and meaningful, and not until, like, I'd say—

And it turns out you did.

We did, but for the audience to find it, we needed social media.

Yeah.

So they could find each other. And all of a sudden, through social media, everyone found each other. And then generation after generation, like, you know, my generation grew up and then had children, and they watched it with their mothers and the grandmothers with their kids. Like, there are kids that are 10 going, oh my God, it's my favorite movie because I watch it with my mom and my grandmother. And it's like, we don't get a lot of multigenerational things like that. So that was a surprise to me and all of us, I think.

And last year you said— last year you were telling— you had to tell everybody that every Sandra Bullock Instagram account was fake. You had to go, "No, that's fake, that's fake." And then 14 months later, you graced us with your presence on Instagram, which is super fun for people like me that's a friend of yours and everybody else to see what's up. And it's a great tool.

So only 14 months ago did you start Instagram?

No, like a few months ago I started. Instagram, but like about a year and a half ago, I had to because there were people that were using my name and likeness to scam money out of people saying, like my sister would have people reaching out to her saying, "Your sister took thousands of dollars from me. I'm packed. My bags are packed. I'm meeting her." Like, and the harm that it was causing.

Yeah, awful.

Families going, "We don't know how to not tell this person it's fake." You know, and I would have people call them saying, "It's fake. It's not real." So finally, You know, I had no intention of ever going on social media. Like, it's not— it wasn't my calling. And then once I did that, it stopped a little bit, but it doesn't really. I mean, there's just— it's just never-ending.

Yeah, I know.

It's horrible.

The stuff that you've had to deal with and handle and come out the other side, and you're just— I mean, I don't know how much we're gonna get into on this one, but I just— It's just so— Your spirit is just so commendable.

It is.

And I just love being close to you.

Yeah, you're one of the strongest humans I know.

Yeah.

Not even man or woman. You're just one of the strongest humans I've ever known. And going back to the movie—

Thank you, I think. Yeah.

Yeah. What's that?

I said, "Thank you, I think." Yeah.

It's the biceps mostly.

Is it? I'm working on it. I kind of let myself go the past 6 months in front of a computer with this film, and I was like, "What has happened to my body?" I don't know.

But I remember you being out in London the same time I was doing Goodnight, Oscar. You were shooting Practical Magic 2, and you came over. We had dinner. And it's cool to have seen you in London and now then see the movie to see all the work that you've done and all the great work. And it's shot beautifully. Anyway, just can't go on enough about it. But I love the whole idea at the center of the movie that the Owens women have this curse where— it's a great, like, rule or whatever where falling in love can mean losing the person they love, right? Mm-hmm.

It's a great metaphor for a lot of things.

A lot of things. And so I don't want to give anything away, but one of my favorite lines in the movie that you say is you say, "I'm so happy you're free to love now. Free to love exactly the way you want." Way you want.

And notice that I lean towards Maisie when I say that.

Yes, I love that. And that made me think about something you and I talked about before you came on. You told me you're ready to talk a little bit about Brian. And I know some of the story and some of it I can't—

Well, I'm— I feel safe to talk to you guys. About Brian.

Yeah, 'cause it's just us. No one's listening.

It's just you. No one else is. But it's— it's safety.

Yes, very true. And as it relates to everything we were just talking about and Jason was talking about, can you tell me a little bit about that relationship, what became difficult toward the end of both the relationship and, sadly, Brian's life, and how you reconciled those difficult parts with loving someone so deeply?

Yeah. Yeah, that's a very deep and great question.

Yeah, and please don't— feel free to say as much or as little as you want.

Of course.

It looks good.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm so appreciative of you being open to it.

The way I look at it, and it's not so much looking at it as I know that this is, you know, there's a reason for everything. Sometimes there's not. It's just horrible. But what I— where I sit now, what I have now, I would not have to share had I not gone through that. I would not ever want to go through it again. Though you never know, life, you know, is like life is, it's tricky. But I wasn't allowed to speak about it. That was the request. And I tried, I honored it, which is also—

His illness?

Yes. He asked me not to share. And I have my— I know why he asked me not. And it isolated me in the process. And plus the entire world was. Locked in with the pandemic. It was literally like the final diagnosis, even though— I mean, he was ill for half of our relationship. And the diagnose came almost at the same time with the cloak of the pandemic. So as the pandemic came down, and I have a child with severe asthma, I was panicking. And then we were trying to navigate all the tests because with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, you— or amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, people— waver on how they want to say it, which is a neurological disease where your signals just stop.

The acronym commonly known as ALS.

ALS, yeah, Lou Gehrig's disease, yeah. You don't go, "Oh, you have these symptoms, you have ALS." It is literally like the process of elimination over the course of a year and some, where you keep going back and they give you all these milestones, these things to do, these grips, these breath tests, all these things, what's happening, because ALS appears in different ways. His was not hereditary, which is, I think, a huge sigh of relief. But it was about a year and some of watching it to see what it is. It could have been this, could have been this, but what I saw, I knew. I knew it. And you have to quietly plan. And I'm a very good— planner with illness. And because my father was ill and he had horrible accidents and my mother had cancer, I feel like I'm very comfortable in a setting where somebody is ill. It doesn't scare me. Not the illness itself. It doesn't scare me. I can see and be around just about anything. But I had 2 young kids that were navigating it, especially a little girl who saw him as a father figure. So with COVID and all of that and being asked not to talk, and I wasn't even allowed to tell Amanda.

I wasn't allowed to tell anybody. My sister was the only one who knew for a while. And I— and at first I go, oh, I can handle that. I can be quiet. But it really—

it really—

It's a huge weight. It's— it's not having the help outside of, like, Marek Kudkiewicz, who was the head of Mass General over in Boston. She oversees all the trial drugs. I was able to find someone. To find if he could get on the list of the trial drugs. And we thankfully— the privilege that I have is we got there. To at least be of service in this process because the outcome is final. One day it won't be final. There are some who are living with ALS still that I've only now discovered after Bryan's passing because I didn't dare go on, you know, my Finsta and look at, you know, I was so scared that I would get in trouble for speaking. You know, 'cause someone will say something, 'cause it's— because of my job, it's kind of like Sally Owens. I have a curse. I walk with this curse that knowledge is payment for somebody. It is information that is valuable. And so I— that's why I keep very isolated, 'cause I don't want to harm others because of what I do. So I think not talking for a while was good, and then when the— physical illness was then coupled with the mental health aspect of things.

And it's something that people don't talk about. And it doesn't happen to everybody, but it was a trifecta that was pretty dark. And I had incredible nurses, like the guys that were like— they're like 4 big brothers in my kitchen every morning. I knew what they ate. I knew they all like banana bread. I knew their allergies or likes or dislikes. You know, and we became students at the same time, you know, while trying to keep the kids away from it or not away, depending on whatever they wanted. And I had an amazing child therapist who dealt with terminal illnesses to sort of help guide me with each. Both of my kids are very different.

But the kids were aware to a certain— right?

Oh, completely aware. Absolutely aware. Because eventually, once— once— there is a situation where you're bedridden, you know, it's— we all have to go there. It's like it was in my house and I did my best to set up whatever I could. And I am lucky in that I had the means to pay for it, you know.

Yeah.

We'll be right back.

And back to the show.

Sandy, what were those conversations like, if I might, and again, to the extent that you're comfortable? Yeah, absolutely.

Absolutely.

What were those conversations like with the kids when when you first sort of say, hey, this is what's going on? And how did you prepare yourself to approach them?

Well, they could see. They have eyes. And they are very, very astute kids. Very astute. Because they not only see the physical change, there's a behavior that changes in all of us. You know, I'm hypervigilant. I became manic, like, in my vigilance, because I had to not only make sure he was okay, I had to make sure we could keep the nurses. Because anyone who's had the privilege of having in-home care knows that the cycle of nurses— and I found them during a pandemic, and I found 4 men that were strong enough. Because Brian is 6'2", 220.

And it—

that is an anomaly. I don't know how. I reached out to one doctor that I knew and I begged her. I said, please do not tell anybody, but I need help in finding this. Don't tell them I'm looking.

Don't—

you know, it was the most covert, CIA operation known to man. And I, and I, I got very like— we— you do lose nurses, especially during a pandemic. And the understanding that I now have of caregiving, um, for those who are in the caregiving position, they are left alone. I, I had, I had no idea what to do. I didn't know how to do it. I didn't know who to call. Then there's pain management.

Do it all on your own.

Yeah, because the caregivers need care themselves. Yeah, absolutely.

And, and, and I am so grateful to them. And but there is the, the, the toll of mental health. It was both for me and absolutely for Brian, and most importantly, the kids. And so when I would bring things up to them— back to your question, Will— it was when they asked and when I could see them see it and ask them what it is that they want to do in this situation. How do you want to handle what you just saw or where you are here. And Louie handled it very different than Lila. He— about 2 years before Brian passed, it was— he saw it was a dynamic that wasn't healthy for him to be around. So he's very evolved. He's like, you know what? I'm here for you. I'm here for— you know, he sort of— I didn't want him to become the man of the family at the age. That's not— my job is to be both at that time. And I want him to be a kid. During a pandemic when everything is already fucked anyway and people are suffering everywhere. So me asking for help, it already— I felt the guilt because everyone else was already suffering.

But he chose to just sort of be there in support and help me on the things that were easy for him. But he smartly disengaged himself and said, this is a safer space for me to sit. And I said, absolutely, you go. I got this. Lila, on the other hand, was more bonded until about 6 months out. And then she says, "I— can you please say no when they call me over to go visit?" And I said, "Absolutely." And I said, "But if you do want to go visit, I will come with you and I will be right there.

And if you tap out, I am right there." So how do the kids avoid the situation living in the house?

Like, how do you navigate that? The way that my house is, I was able to sort of wall off a whole section and make it a different entrance where it had an outside garden and all these kind of things where because I wouldn't let anyone in and out of the house without severe COVID tests. There was a whole— no family was allowed to come unless you are over at the hotel for 2 weeks, because that's when it was. It was the 2-week thing for the long time. And just to make sure everyone was clean because I didn't want— I mean, a respiratory illness would have taken him out.

I mean, to add that on top of this, you know, What you're dealing with already, in and of itself, the pressure and all of that stuff, and the kids, and trying to manage all that, and Brian, et cetera. And then to add that unknown, and of course, none of us really knew what that was when it was happening at the time. And everybody's— Now we sort of look back, and we're all Monday morning quarterbacks.

Well, that makes sense why she was gray. It's like, I would look at my skin, I'm like, "I am now gray." No, no.

But I mean, that is— You're juggling so many big-ticket items at once emotionally. That, you know, the idea that you, on top of all of that, that you're duty-bound to not express the pressure that you're under and to not be able to have an outlet for that, whether it's your good girlfriends like Amanda or whomever, and go, "Hey, this is what—" 'Cause just sharing that with another human being relieves some of that weight with somebody who loves you. It is.

Yeah. And I just didn't want to get there. I didn't want to get them in trouble because I didn't— I just felt there was this black shroud over me going, if my curse, which is the minute I say something about this, I don't want anyone else to be blamed for something if they didn't, you know, they wouldn't have said a word. And they didn't end up saying a word once I did. I remember where I was. Like, we had shot "Lost City." Love that movie. It was fun, wasn't it great?

I love that movie. One of the funniest things I've ever seen.

In a sparkly jumpsuit, you know, and the hysterical chanting and Brad doing us the favor.

And you pulling the leeches off his ass on the second day of shooting.

Oh my God, first day. First day of shooting. I had no problem with that.

Mm-hmm. Ah, yes, sorry.

Nor did he. He's so game. He's so game. But I remember we were editing, and it— Ryan had already, like, it was already in a bad place. And I was in this room upstairs, and I had the monitor, and we're editing, and— Amanda and Jen were— and I don't know why we got on a call for something. And I think, if I look back on it, I would say it was Amanda and Jen going, "We need to spearhead because we need her to start talking." And we need to talk. I think Amanda had— I don't even remember anymore. But I remember they came on. It makes me start crying. I saw their face in Jen's kitchen, you know, her little desk and her little kitchen behind her where we always all get our food. And I just saw them because they didn't really speak. They just got on. They were like, "Hi." And I could tell, and I was just like, it was relief to go, "I don't care what happens at this point. I need that." And it was amazing. And but I did panic once I did it because I was like, and I said, "I hate that I'm having to say this, but I have the fear of God in myself that if this gets out, I can't follow through this journey and take Brian to where I know he's going and where I know I can take him." you know, and help him.

So it was, you know, the most important thing were the kids, period.

What was the thing behind— I mean, again, if I may, and we can cut it, why was it so important that you were under this sort of gag order, if you will, to not say anything?

That you'd have to ask Brian. But I think where he was in his journey, both physically and mentally— I started grieving Brian 4 years before he passed. Like something in my said, "Start the grieving now," because I knew I would be the caregiver. And I could see, like, the bright eyes that I knew, literally, like you say, you know someone through their eyes. And there was something that had shifted. And I go, "It is a traumatic diagnosis. Anyone who can prevail through a diagnosis like that, it—" I bow down, bow down. You know, my mother had cancer. We always had hope. You always have hope that there's something, you know. But I could see that there was a darkness. And mind you also, you know, he'd been sober for 14 years. And you need medication. And I'm like, I don't give a shit. Give him what he needs. It's like the man is suffering. Give it. And so this selfish part of me, my person, left a lot earlier than the body left. And I had to— I don't think I ever dealt with that until after he passed because you're just on this treadmill.

You know, I had to release a film at the same time. And talk about gray, I saw myself on the red carpet and I was like, you just look at my face and I am— I'm a woodblock.

I— Well, is it similar to Alzheimer's? Because I would say my mom, you know, anybody suffering from Being a caretaker with someone with Alzheimer's is they die twice, just like you're saying. Yeah, no, you're absolutely right. The physical, the mental part goes, and then you mourn that so that you prepare yourself more when the physical goes. Yeah, yeah. And yeah, it's very similar to those experiences.

You're absolutely right, yeah. Well, Sandy, I don't know if you were aware of any massive growth in yourself during all of this incredible challenge, but I'll bet you've had time to reflect on it now. Is it— was there— I think you actually started saying this, like, you wouldn't have what you have today. And I'm sure you were mentioning— you were meaning inner sort of strength and all this stuff had you not gone through the adversity you've gone through over the past few years and beyond. But like, what— have you noticed that you've, like, become this superhero? Like, the things you can take on now, I would imagine, would be— Just like, what could you not handle? Yeah.

What could you not handle? Right. Anything with my kids. You know what I mean? It's like, I'm always a shoe's going to drop. I'm not a look at the life through—

But you're not a pessimistic person. You're so consistently light and full of sunshine. You're always incredibly well prepared. You're just like— if we needed to mount a war and I had to pick one friend, who's going to be the general? Right.

But if it were like that—

It's not me.

Before, before, you're on top of shit. You just— you got— but that's— but by the way, you remember Sandy used to drive— Sandy used to drive by my house. We lived on the same street until a couple— until last year. And then she'd text me and she'd go, are you ever going to water the plants on the upstairs?

He has had this incredible house and there are these gorgeous window boxes in these dead brown ass vines hanging off the thing. I'm like, dude, yeah, you're leaving your house, look up when you pull back in after the school drop. That is ugly.

Like, Sandy, what, what do you think? Like, what are you— are you like, do you— are you looking at the rest of your life as like, okay, I've got this incredible sports car, you know, at my disposal, what roads can I drive it on? I'm sorry for the metaphor there, but no, but we all love cars.

Yeah, yeah. No, you know what? That actually is a really great metaphor because I am oddly a very fearful person. Really? I am, and I think that's probably, you know, why you all chose comedy is because it's a great leveler. It makes comfort in your space, in an unknown space, very quickly. And if you go, if I make people feel comfortable at my expense, I'm, you know, I can get the lay of the land. Yeah.

Well, it almost relaxes you. Yeah. You know?

And so the thing with my journey with Bri is that I didn't stop feeling guilt for— as a mother with my kids until I'd say about a year ago, oddly. Like, there was things that I didn't process. I didn't—

Guilt because you didn't think you were there enough for them?

Because it happened. Because it happened. And then someone said to me, you know, "Wow, if you believe children choose you, they also choose this journey. This journey is for them as well." And I went, "Okay, thank you, thank you." That sort of took a little weight off my shoulders. But you, as a mom, you go, "I'm sorry that this happened," you know? And he had his family.

Yeah, 'cause think about how much can be put in front of them now with arguably their entire lives in front of them. Yeah, that's the silver lining. That is not gonna knock them off balance.

You guys have gotten really good at this.

You guys are, like, really grown up now. But it's not true.

Well, it's true, and they can— Yeah, 'cause you can kind of go two ways with it, 'cause I think that there is— And we live in a world now where we're able to talk about stuff, and maybe a generation ago or more, things would happen that would be traumatic, and you don't deal with it, you don't talk about it.

You don't talk about it, yeah.

And then that trauma sort of surfaces in other ways. But we live in a world now, and I know the way that you are in talking about talking to your kids and being open, you give them such a better chance for this to become their story That's right.

And if you weren't— I grew up with a very strong mom. And because of all my trauma and all the bullshit that I grew up with, if I didn't have a strong mom, I wouldn't have been— I wouldn't have learned how to navigate life. And because you are such a strong mother, if you weren't as strong as you were, Lila and Louis, you know, may have gone a different direction. But they are steadfast. Like, they're on the right path because of you.

They know who they are. They— that's a great book. 'Cause I look at my kids and I go, we had dinner last night with 3 of Louie's friends and they're— we're just talking and I go, he knows himself so well. 'Cause I said, "What is everyone grateful for?" And he says, "Just to be alive. Just to have this life." And I went, "Oh, my God." You know, and Lila's fearless in being who they know themselves to be versus their mom, I'm a mom who's only come to that, I'd say, in the last year and a half, 2 years, just sort of, now I can stop in life, and I now look back, and I go, wow, look at all the shit that happened.

Yeah, but think about all the things that they've been able to observe you handle. 'Cause I mean, I think, you know, as good a parent as we try to be, and the things we try to say that are smart, it really is so much about example. They really pick up so much from just watching. And think about the stuff they've seen you go through. Yeah, the way you've handled it.

I'm the lucky one.

You both are. But they're so— as Jason said, they're so lucky to see you go through it and to be, again, to be open and set that example. That's going to just help them to grow even more as people and become great people. And isn't it interesting at this age, like, to continue to feel like— I was saying to someone the other day, I feel even more now than ever, I feel like I'm just firmly in the student section.

I'm just learning. Right? It's like I'm just learning.

Fucking— it's fucking Crazy. I don't know anything. I said the other day, I'm a recovering know-it-all.

That's great. You were, you were, but now you're not.

Thank you.

My sister, for my birthday, gave me this beautiful little pewter box, and it said Leonardo da Vinci, a quote by him at like 87. He says, "I'm still learning." And I went— That's why I think— I'm glad you said it, because I have just such happiness in my chest. Yeah, other things can frustrate me, things can upset me, I get pissed off, I get petty, but there's a— I'm so happy and I feel like I'm a kid for the first time in my life as I'm seeing things that I've seen a million times before, but now I see them with such, like, a love that I didn't have before. And it's just, you know, yes, I have a great therapist. Yes, I think I did the right thing with the kids. Yes, I did usher Brian out the way a human being deserves to be ushered out. And I didn't take care of myself then, but I so take care of myself now. There was a moment when I just wasn't feeling great. I'd gotten COVID after we did the press junket. I was like, oh, shit, what am I gonna do? So I'm in a room above the nurses where they are, and I'm bubble wrapping myself and running, 'cause I still had to cook dinner for the nurses, you know?

So I'd made all the kids go away, and I'm bubble wrapped, and I'm, you know, room service. And then I just didn't feel right afterwards. And I was like, you know, as a woman, I'm like, "Something is wrong." And I said, "Oh, my God, if all this stress gave me, like, cancer, I'm gonna be— that's when I'm gonna get mad." Not at anything else. I'm gonna be pissed if I made myself sick. And I remember being at the doctor going— she sees me come in all amped up and wrapped in bubble wrap, you know. And I said, "If I'm okay, I swear to God—" She goes, "You'll take care of yourself now?" And I said, "Yeah." Yes, I swear to God I will. And when she called me up, she goes, you're fine. And I was like, new lease on life, you know? And it was seeing your own body break down sort of was the big messenger.

Yeah. And you like it. You got like a second chance. Yeah, totally. Oh, that's so great.

We'll be right back.

And now, back to the show.

You know, Sandy, it's so funny that you started, but early on you were saying that, you know, "Oh yeah, everything happens for a reason, and sometimes it doesn't." But if you think about it, even just now hearing you say all that, the sort of the flip side of this really tragic time in your life, and obviously in Bryan's life and his passing, all that stuff, the flip side of it is, is, again, what we talked about, the growth. And the universe, it turns out, didn't serve you more than you could handle. It never does. You focused, you did all the right stuff, you did it the right way, you honored him, you stayed connected to the kids and helped them navigate through it. Think about how great that is. And now, as you sit here and you say you're so happy, and you can see it, Sandy, you are a different person. It's incredible. And so, in a way, it does happen for a reason.

Well, that— And that reasoning happened for me, for my growth, you know. Yeah. Yes, absolutely. And I mean, I do see the bigger reason in all of this is that I had all this information that no one was able to give to me for the caregiver. And it's like apparatuses, tricks. How do you get a wheelchair up and downstairs? Oh my God, Amazon. You know, like, say what you want about Amazon, Amazon saved my life. And because I had to quietly do it. And the office was like, "Why are you ordering ramps?" "Oh, the kids want something to go up and down the stairs." You know, like, the lies that I told, but—

Will has ordered so many stuff secret off of Amazon, it's crazy.

Really? They come in a little brown packet.

Oddly, a lot of ramps.

Remember, we used to go by, drive by, in LA, Bezos's house, which wasn't too far around the corner, in a very different situation, and I'd see the Amazon trucks parked in front. You're like, "How? Why?" I also wanted to go to the driver like, "Hey, man, handle this one with care, bro." Really carefully. You know, like—

Well, Sandy, how does— Most of us got to know you before we got to know you through what you do on screen. Yeah. Nice. Nice, Jason. Nice segue. Yeah, here I come.

I'm the release date on Practical Magic 2. Bringing this full circle.

Can we also talk about first, since we're talking about kids, how fabulous Jason's kids are? I feel like if there's a child missing, Yeah, I took them. Yep. I got—

Franny's here in Iceland with me completing the— Yeah, she's been with me for the whole shoot, and now we're finishing up together. It's great. And Maple. Mapes. And Maple. Mapes is with Lila. Yeah. Yeah. It's so great. Yeah. It's so cool. We're gonna see them both.

Maple and Lila have grown up together in the things that they have done. Oh, my God. They are so cool.

But— You had a fan question, Jason? Yeah, she was trying to deflect. I'm gonna bring it back. I'll get back to her. Where does that incredible other part of you that we haven't even talked about yet, this incredible presence on screen, where does that— What role does that play for you, no pun intended, in your life now? What do you mean? Work-wise. Yeah, what work represented before a lot of these challenges was probably one thing. And does it play a different role for you now and going forward as far as the challenges the challenge that it presents you, the release it presents you, the family it presents you, any of those things. You don't need to stack them all and order them all, but when you— what's the first thing you think about now when you think about doing what you love to do? I mean, yeah, I mean, you're right.

It is chapters. You know, when I didn't have kids, it was like 3, 4 films a year, and I was just so happy to work. You're a working actor. It's like, I'll take it. I'll fix it. I'll try and, you know— make lemonade with some of them, and other ones were surprise, you know, benefits and successes. And then I started producing, and then I felt I had more control over the narrative or just the quality going, if it's gonna fail, it's gonna fail because I failed, not because I had no control. And then I had kids and everything shifted. Everything stopped. You know, I don't look at my career as— I mean, I wasn't supposed to work this long. You know, every penny that I had went into real estate. I was like, "Well, I'm good at this. I can restore and lease it out, and then I'll have something to do." And that's why I obsessively just put every penny into a structure that I could restore and bring, you know, bring to life. And then the kiddies came, and then they are my life, and work is second, and that's period. And because it's just me, I've always been a single parent, you know.

And then when Brian got sick, that, you know, after Lost City, I was like, I thought I was gonna have a little bit of a mental issue. I was like, I can't, I can't, I can't. I mean, the last— what was funny, but not so funny, was the very last shot of our film in Lost City, we couldn't shoot when we were in the D.R., and we had to reshoot like a couple months later on. And I came home and I was just full-on lifting, caretaking, you know, all the things that you do. And I came for the reshoot on a couple hours of sleep, and I remember walking in and everyone went, And they went, "What— what are— what's— did you not sleep?" Like, I looked so bad. And when I say so bad, like, my face, it was horrific. And I could maybe manage 4 hours of the reshoot. And they were like, "Can you just give us one?" I was like, "I can't. I can't. I gotta go home. I gotta go home." And I went home. The amount of money that they had to spend to fix my face to match the rest of the film.

Digitally. Digitally. I looked— it was a horror show. And I have good friends that are in the hair and makeup department. And I'm like, "Okay." Can't do it. "Okay, can't, can't. There's not enough putty to spackle that thing." So I did that, and then I just pulled the plug. I said, "I can't anymore. I have nothing to give right now.

Nothing, zero." Right, but then you turned to "Practical Magic," was— Yeah. Right? Was the next— Just timing. Big, big thing that you took on and took on a lot of it. You could have narrowed your scope of work on that if you wanted to.

I'm not able to narrow my scope. That's really the truth. I can't. Well, I mean, like, you're so good.

You're good at taking on a ton, and you succeed at everything that you take on. Um, so— but I mean, that's kind of why I'll ask the question in a different way. Like, what are you looking forward to doing next work-wise? Comedy. I want to do funny.

I want to do something that, like, that goes back to a time where you can tell a story and let humor be the thing. Like, they used to make films like that. Like, they had pathos and humor. And fun and weren't slapstick-y. I can't do that. I'm good in between a rock and a hard place. Like, I want life to be tricky because it is. Life has 17 different tones in the course of 24 hours. I've been witness to it. Right.

And the humor comes from the challenges that the characters go through as opposed to the jokes that they say. Absolutely. Yes.

Yes. Like, I mean, if I watch back the things that would happen during the course of the day, Today, even with Brian, I'm like, the sweetest moment was there was this beautiful trainer that I'd hired for the kids just to be there in the PE during homeschooling in the backyard, and he was so buff and fabulous. And then I went, I should probably do something. I should probably move. And he's like, okay. So we'd be outside, masked, 90-degree weather, you know, doing exercises. And he finally said, you know what? I just want you to lie down on the sports court for a second. I'm just gonna play some wave noises and some, you know, whale noises. Little noises, you know. And I said, "Okay, okay." He goes, "Just lay down for a second," 'cause I was really manic. And so I laid down. He goes, "I'm just—" you know, and then all of a sudden, my phone rang. And I sit up because when my phone rang, that means I had to run to that room over there and help the nurses with something. And I got up so full of rage and I went, "I just want 5 minutes to sleep." And then I ran into the house, fixed the lunch, fixed whatever it was they got, whatever the medical staff wise, gave it to him and run back to the sports court.

And I laid back down and I go, okay, I'm gonna do it. He goes, we're done. I go, no, no, please, please, just give me— I said, it was only 5 minutes. He goes, you have been asleep for 45 minutes. He goes, I had to go up and see if you were still breathing. I thought you— no way. I had just passed out. And I go, the fact that he gave me this little safe space to pass out on a sports court with my little mask at 90 degrees, you know. And it's like, if you can It's like, we can figure it out. There's nice people out there. And he didn't know what was going on either. He just knew that the mom to these kids was dealing with something.

Somebody needed some wisdom.

He didn't know what it was.

But he gave me grace to just— he knew I was unraveling, and he was like, this lady needs some help.

Speak— yes, I wanna— we're running out of time, and I just wanna make sure you can leave us in a— In a joyous—

these poor people are gonna be like, this is a depressing show.

No, no, no, no.

You guys, let's cheer it up, 'cause this is— No, no, no, no, no, no, it's so uplifting.

But this I wrote down and I wanted to make sure we got to because— The chickens you have, you named them after female comedians except...

Comedians like whoopie Goldberg and we had "The Golden Girls" and...

So one's named Carol Burnett, one's name's Wanda Sykes, another's name is? Phyllis Diller.

Yeah but she was a rooster originally. Yes, Phil Diller. You've named him Phil Diller.

Changed her name to Phil Diller.

He was all Phillis. Phil Diller! And they shoulda just kept it Phillis because he was, he was proud. He was a sassy, sassy mister. He got the white hair. He was, oh, he was, he was, yeah, he was fresh. And then talk about— Not fresh as in I ate him. I did not eat Phil.

But then talk about these dogs, like, that I said in the opening, which made me laugh. You had two rescue dogs, Poppy and Ruby. Poppy had three legs.

Poppy was my ride or die. Yeah, they say there's soul dogs. She was, she was a three-legged Chihuahua mix of some kind. She was the greatest human-like animal. Yeah. Like she was my protector. Like if I had an issue, she would go after somebody to like— she was— and then there was Rubatella Versace. Yeah. She walked on her hind legs and she always looked like she was working the runway.

She only had 2 legs. 2 legs. She was on her hind legs. I love because life wasn't hard enough, let me take care of these 2 dogs who need to be taken care of.

And I had them for 14 years. That's unbelievable. Yeah, but you know what?

Here's what you need to know. You need a nice four-legged golden retriever and a sitcom.

You know what? That's what the kids asked for once the dogs died. They said, "Can we get a dog that chases a ball?" And I'm like, "Sure." And then I get— I rescue this poodle who'd been part of a puppy mill for like 3 years. They shoved spoons down her throat to collapse her vocal cords. She had all kinds of emotional issues. Couldn't care less about a ball. Couldn't care less. You're like, "She's my dog." And then I was like, "Okay, well, she's got—" My dogs have to have a name. Have an impediment. You know, there's— it can't— we just can't have a straightforward, really simple, loving, good listening dog. And then, right, there was a dog that was rehomed, and he was about 10 months old. And I go, anything wrong with him? And there was like, well, he's got 4 legs, he loves a ball. And I go, okay, I'll give this to the kids. It'll be like nothing's wrong. Dog, kids, ball. Turns out he's blind close up. Oh my God, throw the ball, he'll run to it, and then he'll leap right over it and keep So he's farsighted. Yeah, yeah, he's farsighted.

Get him some glasses. Yeah, I took him to a doggy ophthalmologist and they said we can outfit him with goggles. I'm like, oh hell no, we're not. He's so handsome, but his eyes are just a little close. And can you imagine the goggles?

No, you have to do that.

That's such a— I can't be seen in public with that. I just— that's just— no, let him be blind.

How does he— how does he do— how does he do the eye test?

Like with the They're like, read the fourth line. Better one, better two. Better two, better three.

Looking at the thing. He had several tests. Yes. Yes. All right.

A or B? B. Okay, now B, worse. Better, worse, worse, better. And you read the sentence. Sandy, Sandra Bullock, we love you. Thank you for sharing all of that with us.

Nice to have a conversation with you that's not around food. I mean, it's weird, right, man? It's weird.

But truly, I mean this, I, I, we love you. I love you so very much. Thank you for being so open and sharing everything.

Always. You know what, it's like the one thing that does come out of this is that you get information that you can give to other people that wouldn't have access to it. So I've had a good amount of people that I've met that said, you know, my, my, my mother has ALS. And I'm like, and I have the whole list of what to get during it, and I can pass off the list, and it's, it's just— I have the list. I'm lucky because I have the list, and there's people that need the list. So you guys will never need it, thankfully, but I— if you know someone that needs it, I got it.

I love that. You're on ours.

Love you guys. I love you.

God love you.

Thank you, guys. Thanks. Thanks from road adjacent, you from Emmy adjacent, you from Iceland adjacent. Give, give Francesca a big smooch. Oh, well, I'll see you.

We'll see her in a week with me. Yeah, I'll see—

I'll see you guys when we see a good performance. We're gonna see our girls perform.

Yeah, that's gonna be great.

Nice. All right.

Love you so much.

Thanks for sharing and always, always, always, always. Bye, honey. Bye, you guys.

Bye. See you soon. Love you. Wow. Well, I feel uplifted. And that was incredible. I mean, why do I— I love it when I cry on this damn podcast. It's so joyful. But even when I cry, it feels joyful. She's just That's incredible.

Well, like you said, you know, those are the times when it's dark and just awful. Those are the moments that life gives you to learn from and grow from, right? You don't know it in the moment, but later on, you know, it's such a gift in a way. It's horrible in the moment, but a gift later.

And the people that have been so generous to share some of these things with us on the show, like, uh, I was just thinking about Michael Lewis. Yeah. That incredible story he told us. And there's been a few where I found myself getting weepy in such a joyful sort of setting as this is sometimes. But, man, I just feel so lucky to have her as a friend and to hear her stories and to watch her go through what she goes through. And she could have told another hour on— another really trying episode that she's been through in her life, and then another hour, and another hour. And I don't mean to sound like, you know, "Woe is Sandy," 'cause she's certainly had incredible fortune in her life as well. But man, the way she goes through this life, I forget because she always does shower us with so much sunshine when we're around her. You really forget, like, yeah, the feet are paddling like hell underneath the water sometimes with some of these things, and it's really admirable.

It really goes to show, it really highlights that you never know what people are going through. This is one of those things that you think about, like when you go through the world and you say, like, somebody cuts you off or they're being an asshole. And now as I get older, I go, I don't know what their day's like. I don't know what they're going through. I don't know what pressure they're under. I don't know where they're coming from. And— You can call me. I probably know. I know that you keep notes on people. Sure. But as you say, JB, that—

Next time I have questions about fat content in milk, I'm going to come to you.

Yeah, yeah, you never know how much, you never know what fat content.

It's tricky for sure.

You just, you know, call me.

I mean, yeah, I probably know a lot.

I think that probably when you're, when you're sitting in front of the dairy aisle, uh, Sean, and you're presented with the option of all these different milks, you probably, you probably just don't know which one to buy. Smartless. Smartless. Smartless is 100% organic and artisanally handcrafted by Bennett Barbaco, Michael Grant Terry, and Rob Armjarff. Smartless.