Transcript of "Jessica Biel"

My sister just texted me. I gotta look this up. She says, I have my 40th reunion next Friday. What the hell do I wear? Well, I don't know. You should probably wear something real sexy, and you should also probably wear a smile. And I hope all you are wearing a smile, 'cause it's an all-new SmartLess!

SmartLess.

SmartLess.

I get to host you 2 ding-dongs tonight at the house. You're coming over for dinner.

Yeah, that's right.

I don't think you guys have ever been to my house for dinner.

What are you talking about?

I don't think you guys have ever been to my house for dinner.

You're totally joking.

Of course, Jason. What are you talking about?

Well, when is the last time— then tell me, when's the last time the two of you have come over to my house for dinner?

Well, I don't keep a record of it, but I've been there about 25,000 times for dinner.

I don't think so. Not just for dinner. Like sitting around the dinner table. It is a plan for you guys to come over for dinner. It's always just sort of casual.

Last year, I haven't done it, but everybody's away. But we did movie night one night last year.

Yeah, but see, that's it. But it's with a bunch of other people, and it's kind of— you're sitting around the kitchen.

Oh, no, just— are you—

are you— Like, sitting down?

Yeah, you don't sit down.

Yeah, that's true. We— I've done it like maybe twice at your place, or once or twice.

Where was— where was that?

We always like stand in the kitchen.

It's always takeout. It's always takeout.

Yeah, we're standing around, right?

Just like— Oh, um, uh, yeah, well, that— that's true. I've never—

This is not a— it's not a complaint.

I don't cook. No, but I don't— do you? Well, you guys— you guys don't cook. No, I have no idea how to cook.

Right?

Sean, can you boil water?

I can. I make sloppy joes. I just had tons of sloppy joes last week.

You did? Yeah.

And then you just spice it and make it chili? What's the diff? They used to do that at my school.

Really?

Take sloppy joes? Sloppy joes. And the next day we have chili. I'm like, hey, man, I'm on to you. Okay? I know what's happening.

Hey, wait, what's tonight? Did you guys talk to Amanda? What are we having tonight?

I don't know. She didn't say.

She hasn't taken your order?

Sean, do you know?

Sean, do you know? No. It'll be your dietary limitations.

I have none.

Why don't we have sushi delivered or something easy?

All right, all right.

Well, that's easy. Or is that pizza? Easily expensive.

Yeah.

Why don't we just have gold bars delivered? What do you— sushi? What kind of life are you living?

No, what about a lot of lobster?

What about pizza?

No. I told you about the time, JB. I told you about the time I witnessed Sean eating lobster on a private jet, right?

Oh, no.

It was in the dock. It was in the dock.

No, not in the dock. It was a different time when we went to—

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And all of a sudden— and then Sean— I got a lift from these guys, and I get on there, and then all of a sudden, the person comes out with the food. You guys ready for lunch? And puts the thing down and all of a sudden starts serving lobster. It was incredible.

It was unbelievable. I couldn't believe it.

That just turned my morning around.

All right. Oh, shit.

Okay, good. I was just checking on this research.

Have we got to get to that or no? I was panicking if I lost my notes.

We are having dinner tonight so we can catch up later.

All right, wait, wait. And then, fuck, I think I may have lost my notes on this restart. Hold on.

Oh my God.

My intro. I've got my intro.

Okay, you intro and we'll chat and you look for your notes.

No, no, here. Okay. And then where are my notes? Goddamn it. This is all Michael Grant Terry's fault. It's got to be somehow. Just somehow it's got to be his.

Michael Grant Terry. Can I just talk about— Oh, no, there it is.

Where's the notes?

Our guys, Rob, Rob and Bennett and Michael need a— we, we haven't had a—

A baritone call.

Michael, Bennett, and Rob grease the wheels on this thing. They make it, they make it happen. They keep the trains on time. They do so much stuff. They do so much for us.

These are the producers.

What a bunch of professionals. Okay, um, and I really appreciate that. Okay, you're ready.

All right.

I was vamping, but I meant it.

All right. I mean it too. I second all that praise.

Third.

Okay. All right, here we come, guys. We have with us today a woman who has been a success in this business for over 30 years, and she's still going strong with multiple nominations and awards to her credit. She's been working across film and television since she was a child.

Wow.

Now, balancing acting with producing now, she's running her own production company. Just kidding.

No.

She's set to have one of her biggest projects ever. Released this October. It's massive, massive. She has climbed Mount Kilimanjaro. She's sung at the Hollywood Bowl, Sean. She's a level 6 trained gymnast, Will. What? You met her on 7th Heaven. You rooted for her in Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and you're about to ride shotgun with her in the blockbuster Matchbox this fall. Guys, it's Kim and Jon's girl, Jessica Biel.

Yeah.

Oh, God.

Jessica, thanks for coming on.

Yeah, guys, thank you so much for having me. It's so nice to meet you too. I'm nervous, my heart is pounding. I feel like if I had to take a polygraph test, I would— I would fail.

Yeah, no, hey, I'm excited to see that movie. I watched that trailer this morning.

Wait, tell me, what is it?

Matchbox the movie.

No way.

Yeah, dude, it's like, remember Fast and Furious? You like that? You're gonna love this.

Oh wow, that's so cool. Based on the Hasbro thing?

Yeah, yeah.

Or Mattel.

Metal. Sorry, Metal.

Yes. Listen to this guy, bro.

I used to play that all the time, yeah.

Me too.

It looks so great. I love John Cena. That guy kills me.

I know, he's so fun, actually. Loved working with him. He's a doll.

Yeah, he's great.

Now, let me ask you a question I bet you got a million times in the junket, if you've already done that. And if you haven't, you're going to. Are you a fast driver yourself?

No, I am an old lady defensive driver. Slow. I've got kids in the car.

I live on a dirt road. Oh, flashers on.

I've got all of it. I've got, like, a seat lifter that keeps my butt from getting tired and—

you know how your butt falls asleep? Sitting on a quarter-ass?

Basically. I'm a very— I'm a slow old lady driver. But then when we did the movie, I got to learn all this cool performance driving, and now I want a muscle car.

And you did that?

Did they train you?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Really?

Wow.

It was so cool.

Okay, talk to us about that, 'cause I've done a little bit of that. That's very, very fun stuff.

It was so much fun. I mean, that is the best part of our job, right?

We're getting to learn these—

weird skills that you may never get to learn. I got to learn how to, you know, stop a car on its mark, like put the right back wheel on a mark.

Oh, really? It's called the sandbag.

Yeah. Yes. And slide it and then stop it. Do a 180 and stop it. Do a 360 and stop it right on the mark.

You can do that?

Oh my God. That's advanced.

I did it.

I don't know if I can do it now. You need the right car. I think that is what I realized is like these performance cars that we were driving, they— They do exactly what you ask them to do.

It's unbelievable.

I bet you'd be able to do it in a GMC of your choice.

Of course.

Once a professional-grade engineer.

Sean, isn't it about like the timing of the brake and the emergency brake or whatever? And like, it's a lot of coordination. Yeah.

Well, the cars I was driving, which is why it would be hard to just do it in a regular car as I was using pedals. So I had I wasn't— it wasn't an emergency brake. It was a clutch. There was another— there was multiple pedals. It was like a car.

So you were driving stick. Were you driving a stick shift car?

This one was not a stick shift.

Do you know how to drive a stick shift?

I do know how to drive a stick shift. Yeah.

Yeah, me too.

It's fun.

It's a lost art.

It's a fun experience.

They don't make it anymore. They don't make stick shift anymore.

At all?

At all?

I don't think so. I think you have to special order it.

People like Porsche must still make those.

I believe it is. You have to really specify it.

But, you know, I was gonna say, Sean, you said something— or Jason, you said— maybe Tracy would be interested to know this. Oftentimes, when you see people in film or TV pull in in a car or whatever, oftentimes, what you don't know is that they're rolling into a sandbag, as Jason said, to help the lighting.

So it can stay in frame.

So it can stay in the frame, because they have a hard mark they need to stay to.

It's like a 25-pound sandbag that's kind of flayed open like a butterfly that they drop on the ground. It's usually meant to weight down a stand that holds lights. and stuff like that. And they'll put it down, and when the wheel rolls up on it, it hits it. And then there's an art to actually hitting it so it doesn't look like it's lurching the car to a stop, like it's hitting a rock or something. It's a whole thing. It's another actor cheat. We've got tons of those. But wait, so you went to driver performance school, like Willow Springs or something like that?

We were in Budapest, so the team was there, and we literally were training in this parking lot.

Oh my God.

Just me and a couple of these incredible—

They were like, they were like, oh, so Budapest, okay, go on the street. Don't worry.

Basically.

No, no, just go downtown.

Don't worry about the children.

There's no police.

That's about right.

So wait, so the whole thing was— now there was Budapest. Wasn't there Morocco too? There was a bunch of different spots.

Morocco, Slovakia.

Oh my God.

Yeah, those were our main locations, if I remember.

Did you have to go— I've always wanted to do this, like, get a— guys, for my birthday, get me a racing track gift certificate. Like, where you race cars around a track. Did you have to do that?

I did. My character is sort of a— she's a race car driver on the side, which is cool. And I did. We did a track. We did some rounds around a real track. Wow.

And what'd you get up to?

Nothing crazy. I mean, I think we were around 80 or something, kind of normal freeway. Because it looks so much faster when the cameras are rolling.

I know.

Yeah, right.

Also, the weird part was sometimes I was in a car where I wasn't even driving, and someone else is driving, and that was so much harder. We had people on the roof, we had people in the back.

Oh, yeah.

But it was so strange.

Oh, yeah, that act like you're driving.

Yes, but when I wasn't driving, it made me sick, you know? 'Cause you're so much more in control. When you're driving, you're in control. You know when to turn. you know what you're gonna do. When you're not driving, it's the strangest thing.

It's the weirdest. I did— a couple times, I did one of those big NASCAR tracks, and I did it with Jeff Gordon, and he took me around in Atlanta. And first of all, the bank, those curves are like— it's almost like straight down. It's almost like a full—

Yeah.

And so doing that, and you're not driving, I hated it. I felt— and I'm not a nervous driver or nervous about speed and stuff, but I was. And then I also did it in a Formula 1 track outside of Austin there. I was so— I got giddy almost 'cause I was so nervous. He was going so fast and passing people, and you're not in control. It makes you feel like— you feel like, this is it. It's all over.

When you were in control, though, Jessica, was it a rush? Like, did you understand why people do it? Did you get the adrenaline?

Yeah.

Yes.

Yeah, for sure.

I think I started to really get into the speed. I think I'm just so used to having to be a responsible driver on the road and responsible for people. people's lives, you know, little, little lives. And it was so cool to get behind the wheel and know that everybody knew to get out of my way and that I was going to be safe and I could go fast. And that was exhilarating. So yes, that adrenaline. I'm kind of an adrenaline junkie in most ways, except usually in a car on the road because it's so serious and so scary sometimes.

So it's like, so, so it's all, so it's family car all the time for you. You don't have like your own little, uh, personal little sports you like to zip around Mulholland on?

I don't. I don't know.

I want one. So we're talking full minivan?

It's an Escalade.

Yeah.

Nice.

OK. So it's—

all right.

It's a—

sure.

You know, it's like a cool mommy car. It's a—

yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's a cool car. But I would love like a little Porsche or— you know what I really like? I really like those new kind of Bronco IIs. It's not a sports car, but it feels like a faster, sexier, cute— like with a top that comes off.

It's a cute car.

Will, talk to us about the Bronco II. No, I will not. Yeah, tell us how much of the Bronco too, Willie.

No, no, no, no, no. Friends don't let friends drive Fords.

Here we go.

The Bronco was my first car ever, so I have like— it just has a little place in my heart.

Jessica, I know you like the Escalade, but I'll tell you something. I'd love to get you into a Yukon XL Denali.

Great, send it my way.

So, Jessica—

I got a TurboMax diesel. Go ahead, Sean. I'm sorry, I'm here.

Jessica, this whole love affair with America and the world in general, it started in Boulder.

Right? Oh, it did?

With your outdoorsy, unconventional parents, huh?

What's up? God, that's so judgmental.

What's that so creepy?

The way you're saying that is so creepy and judgmental.

I know. I was like, what is he gonna say?

Oh, were they carefree? Him and John, they just— you're out there playing grab-ass in the woods.

You love the air.

Yeah. How did performing come into your brain out there? Were you guys—

And bowling.

Doing like little shows for one another, little kids running around there in front of hippie-dippy mom and dad.

God, that sounds gross.

It's all on Wikipedia, you guys.

I'm so offensive the way you said all of that. It's so creepy.

And did you say grab ass in the woods? Because yes.

Grab ass in the woods.

That's what was happening. I don't know, you guys. All I can remember is I was one of that— I just was that annoying little kid that was like, Mom, Watch this. Turn the video camera on. Mom. And she's like, okay, great. Okay, we're done. No, no, no, I have more. Watch again. You know, it was just constant. Like, I was just constantly performing, doing dumb things that were not cool that she was pretending were cool. They were pretending were cool.

But where did it come from?

I don't know where it came from. It was just always within me.

Was it like— did you watch a ton of TV?

No, no, we didn't really watch a ton of TV.

No, they were playing grab-ass in the forest.

We were grab-assing in the woods.

All right, well, that—

I don't know.

I don't know what it was.

I used to imitate Nadia Comaneci. Remember that gymnast Nadia Comaneci? Sure did.

'76 Montreal.

I would be like— I would do it over and over, like, watch this. And I would imitate the heavy breathing after.

You'd really land your split.

And the stance.

Oh, you did? Oh, sorry. You were imitating the after, not the actual gymnastics.

The end pose, which is important too.

Yeah.

You gotta snap it.

All right.

Now, well, that brings us to your— you were training as a gymnast as well, right? At about the same time?

Yes.

I wanna see you do that, Sean, so bad.

I wanna see that.

You could see it on Will& Grace. He does a lot of that.

Do a roundoff and then the breathing. Um, and, and then where were you in order of siblings?

I'm the oldest and I have one younger brother.

Okay.

Now, where was— where was gymnastics? Was it— was a serious thing for a second? Were you training for that? It was.

It was a serious thing in Boulder. Um, I was playing soccer, I was doing gymnastics, and I was also—

Football.

football. I was playing football.

Yeah.

And I was randomly getting involved with an agency, like a talent agency in Denver, and literally doing commercial acting classes in the summer and that kind of thing because I was interested in that stuff. And then I started to get tall, and gymnastics started to kind of not really be my sport. And I had to focus on other things.

And I was Were you getting commercials?

Not at that time. I was just learning how to talk about products like you will, because you're really good at that.

Oh, thank you.

Yeah, you're so good at product talking.

What's your favorite car, Will?

Well, we've already mentioned it, but, you know, the Sierra comes in, and the Sierra EV is tremendous.

So then when did you discover, okay, I got to get to Los Angeles. I got to get out there to the Oakwoods, get myself a nice studio apartment, and start knocking on doors?

That was my life, Jason. That was my place. I was there.

Yeah, of course.

I was there at those Oakwood apartments.

in that studio apartment with my mom.

What age were you?

Going into pilot season, I was 11, 12, and 13. Did it 3 years in a row.

Wow.

Wow.

You know what, really— OK, now I'm remembering. Sometimes I have these weird blackout moments where I forget about my life.

Do you guys ever have that?

I know, it's the weed.

Is it the weed? OK, figured it was the weed.

Yeah, a lot of that's the weed.

I mean, I'm from Boulder, so you guys get it.

Yeah, sure, right.

Those goddamn parents of yours.

Yeah, you got a head full of rope. Go ahead.

Correct. It was music, weirdly. I was interested— I was like a theater kid.

I wanted to—

I auditioned for Annie when I lived in Connecticut. We took the train to New York. I wanted to be Annie. That was my dream. So it was all really music stuff. And then— yeah. And then it kind of switched into acting somehow. I don't know.

So then you're out there for '11, '12, '13 pilot season. Did we book a pilot? Ignore them. Did you book a pilot?

Wow. Will's registered. I did 7th Heaven finally when I was 14. I just turned 14, and I booked 7th Heaven.

That was your first— that was your first gig?

That was kind of the first real gig.

First pilot?

That was the first pilot. And then, um, Ulee's Gold with Peter Fonda, like, booked at the same time, which was the little, like, indie movie.

I remember that.

Oh my God, yeah! That was a great movie.

And we will be right back.

And now back to the show.

So now, were you old enough, savvy enough to, like, think about, okay, well, I've got this television career potentially starting here, I've got maybe this movie career starting here, how can I balance both? Which one do I want? Was there any sort of that type of thinking, or no? Were you just like, great, work, work, work, great, I'm not in school?

Yeah, I think it was, oh my God, the dream is coming true. I'm working, I'm not in school. I'm living— it's happening. And I didn't think much about it. I just showed up on set and just started doing my job every day.

Right. And it was smooth, but you had to stay there. Now you're not living in Boulder anymore. You're not seeing your friends anymore. Mom's having— or dad or both are having to relocate.

Right.

Was all of that kind of fun, weird, uncomfortable, or would you even pay attention?

I remembered it being— or I remember it being I think it was a nightmare for my brother. I think my brother was like, what is happening to my family? My mom and I were here, my dad and my brother in Colorado. Then they eventually joined us in LA, and we lived in Calabasas for a while after getting out of the Oakwood Apartments after a while. And then—

Now, what about brother? Was he thinking about, or tempted, or encouraged to act as well?

Never his interest. He was an incredible—

Discouraged. He was discouraged.

Yeah.

None for you. No, he was a crazy talented soccer player. Really? No way. So he was just very normal lives, going to school, playing soccer.

I'll tell you, out there in the West Valley, there's a lot of soccer. I played years of it out there in Woodland Hills.

Same. I did too.

That's a lot.

That's a lot. Good, good level of players out there. Really, California players are just seriously good.

Is that right?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Big town soccer.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Jessica, how many seasons of 7th Heaven did you do?

I did 4. Full seasons. And so I did basically my entire high school career on the show, and then went to college for a little bit. And then once that happened, I kind of came back and forth a little bit and did some little storylines that lasted 3 or 4 episodes, but never really came back for a full season after that.

Right. But they were like, just come back and do this, and please just come back and do that. But did you find that you doing that— so how— sorry, you were 14 when you started doing 7th Heaven, is that right?

Yes.

So, what a great— what a great way to learn, to go and do the sort of the discipline of doing a TV series day in and day out in those formative years. Must have taught you a lot.

Everything.

Right?

Oh, my God, Will. I went to film school there. That was like film and TV intensive program. I had the most incredible cast and crew. It was such a supportive, cool environment. Just a bunch of kids, like all the wonderful actors playing my siblings and the parents. And I learned so much. I mean, the stuff I remember so vividly is our amazing camera operator who taught me how to stand up and sit down on a chair. You know, 'cause I would go like— I was all over the place. He's like, you gotta stand up, and then you gotta slowly sit back down. And you gotta make it smooth. You come back up and find your light. And I was like, what the fuck does that mean?

Yeah.

You know, I learned to find the light, stand up, sit down. Get emotional in front of strangers, do crazy things in front of people I didn't know. I mean, get comfortable doing all of those things.

And for Tracy, there's a phrase for this. They call it, I need you to Groucho a little bit when you stand up there. And what that means, that's Groucho Marx. You know, when you see Groucho Marx, he kind of like, when he walks and he's got the little cigar, he's kind of like hunched over a little bit. That's their phrase for like, when you come up, don't shoot straight up because they can't keep you in the frame if you come up fast.

Right.

Exactly.

They want you to kind of like ease up a little bit like Groucho walks.

I learned a lot.

Jason, what an impression of God. Yeah.

I didn't know that you—

Oh, look at— there he is.

Yeah. Thanks, man. Thank you.

Thank you.

But JB, you had the same experience, right? Like, as a kid, you learned— you kind of learned on— you learned to fly in flight.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You learn a lot. But what you don't learn is how to be a kid. You don't learn about, like, yourself because you're not in school a lot and all that stuff.

That's true.

How was that?

Here we go. Jason.

By the way, every time you say JB, I think you're talking about—

Jason, get off the cross. We could use the wood, okay?

Yeah, JB. JB and JB.

Yeah. So, Jessica, how was that? How was— how were you managing? Did you manage to maintain a semi-normal upbringing? Were you going into a normal school during the hiatuses? Were you going back to Boulder, or would you stay working with a tutor?

No, I was— I did have a school in LA that I was working on a program through. It was like one of those weird schools for, like, bad kids, you know, or weird kids. And I was like one of the weird kids who never showed up.

It wasn't on a bus, was it, by any chance? I'm just shot in the dark here.

Thank God, no.

Okay.

I know Jason went to school on the bus.

We didn't have room for her.

Oh, man. So I just— I never really showed up back into real school. But I was playing soccer, and my team was everything. I missed every practice. You probably did the same. And I only showed up at the games. So I was like sort of good and also really bad at the same time because I never practiced.

What position were you on your soccer team?

I was a right midfielder.

Mm.

But what about you?

Left half, yes. Left inside forward.

Okay.

I had a left foot. So they really took care of me there.

That's right, as they should have. But I was also that weird kid that, like, I would— I was super fast, so I could run with the ball really well, and then I would miss the goal every time. Like, it was the most embarrassing.

Not much of a shooter.

You couldn't—

no finish to your game.

Nobody wanted to give me the ball. They were like, oh, God, there she goes again. And I was— I just, you know, but I was, like, really positive.

Totally know the feeling.

Believed in myself.

If you can provide good service, that's enough. Then they probably bring in a quality finisher with you.

That's right.

And all of a sudden, you know—

All right, so we're wrapping up 7th Heaven. Now we're kind of a big star. And then we get into Rules of Attraction, perhaps, yes?

Yeah.

A Bret Easton Ellis novel that's a little not quite so 7th Heaven.

Right.

Were we thinking about— was there strategy now starting to come in a little bit? And we're approaching Texas Chainsaw Massacre. We're approaching Blade. We're approaching Stealth.

We're starting to go— Oh my God, this is like full slate.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I want you to lay down on the banquette, okay? We're gonna go deep here.

Okay.

Take us on this journey.

Take us on this journey. But like, things are— you're transitioning into being an adult, and we're no longer like a teen star, and it's exciting, and it's nerve-wracking, I'm assuming. We're making a career of this, yes?

Yeah, when did that switch for you to be like, oh, you know what? I'm in a business. And, you know, when did that occur to you?

I don't know. I don't remember. Probably—

When you had to start paying rent.

Probably. Yeah. When I came back to LA, I never finished college, which is a huge regret.

Well, try not finishing high school.

Sorry for you. That's rough.

It's okay.

It's really, really rough.

It's okay.

Still working on it.

You got this. You can do anything.

You can do anything. In fairness, the bus gas prices got high and—

We could not fix the left rear tire.

Complete the loop.

The loop.

Um, all right, so, so, so you're getting into adulthood. You now— you've moved out of Colorado completely. You're now living on your own in Los Angeles.

Yeah.

And we're starting to knock down some movies. Um, how are we feeling about living in Los Angeles by ourselves? Um, uh, mom's gone back home, brother's back home.

Yep, everybody's back home. I'm in LA by myself.

How do we like living in LA by yourself?

I mean, it was good. I think it was. I think it had a— you know, nervy at some times and feeling kind of weird.

Got a good circle of friends.

Yeah. Had a good circle of friends.

But you're coming off the show, and you're going to start doing some movies, as Jason sort of started listing them. And there is that moment of like, hey, is this going to— am I going to sink? Or am I going to make it here? Do you remember the moment you got a certain job that you went like, okay, this thing is going to— we got some legs here. to kind of make that transition into films.

Well, if you guys will remember, that was a time where you really were only on television, or you were only in film. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I started to feel like, oh, this is a business, and I'm gonna have to work hard to make that transition because everybody knows me as this very kind of proper, sort of good kid on this show. And now I have to cross over into another— part of this industry.

And show that that was just a character.

Yeah, I would say Texas Chainsaw was probably one of those— one of the moments where I thought, okay, this is a really good move for me. This is really opposite, really different. Same with Rules of Attraction. Very opposite. So I was getting a little bit more calculated. And honestly, I think I was just interested in doing something totally different than what I had been doing up to that point.

So, yeah. And were these ideas coming from you, or was it agents? I guess I'm pressing on all this stuff because it's so weird for a kid actor. You start thinking about these strategies. It's like, well, wait, but I'm just playing different people and pretending. This is all pretend for me. Just going back to what you used to do in front of your mom and stuff like that. But then you start to think about, well, God, I gotta make a career of this. And what are the keys to longevity? I mean, I'm just thinking back then, if somebody told you, you're gonna be 30 years into your career and things are gonna be better 30 years from now, you know, like, would you have gone like, oh, shit, that is great? Like, did you think that that was something you could do?

Are they better than ever? I still feel—

I don't know.

I mean, I know you guys are, like, really famous and have it all together.

Oh, yeah.

But I still— I am still fighting my way back into the film industry.

We all are.

Oh, my God.

It never ends. Every single job.

It never stops.

It never ends.

But that's healthy.

Is it?

Yes, 100%.

If it was easy, it would be—

Yeah, there really is no security on anything.

Could it be just slightly easier?

Let me make some calls.

Would you mind making some calls? Then it would be boring. Then it would be boring. All right, let's talk to— before we jump to today, we're still on the journey. We're still carving out great jobs. What about this? Tell me about—

Is this not boring? This journey is so boring.

No, no, it's exciting. I want to know. Sean wants to know, if there was any dirt on the set of that Super Bowl cast of Julia Roberts, Anne Hathaway, Bradley Cooper, Jessica Alba, Kathy Bates, Shirley MacLaine, Ashton Kutcher, all these on Valentine's Day. I mean, there must have been some kind of like—

That was a big movie.

Nonsense or— Or pranks.

Anybody play any pranks?

God, I can't. I'm telling you, I can't remember anything. It was just fun and—

I just love those movies.

You know, nobody worked together. We only worked with like one other. All these stories were so separate. So, I only worked with my people.

Right. Everybody's on for a week.

Yeah. And then you're off and you're gone.

I know.

I know. So— and it was so long ago, I don't even— all I remember is eating so much chocolate and running on a treadmill and then getting off the— out of that scene and just puking all the chocolate.

'Cause Valadon, right.

I mean, it just was chowing during this one scene and just threw it up everywhere. It was— that's what I remember.

What about— and what do you do when you have long shoots like that? How do you organize kid time and who stays where and do they come with sometimes and all of that?

Well, she didn't have kids then. Did you have kids then?

No, no, I didn't have them then. Not yet.

I didn't have kids then. Oh, oh, that was—

Don't jump ahead, Sean.

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

So then—

I'm with you, Sean. I'm ready to jump. This story is—

No, at this point, at this point, do we run into the woman with the greatest name in the world, Michelle Purple, and do we start Iron Ocean?

Michelle Purple started back— get over here immediately. Just get over here and say hello. Oh, come on. You have to come over. No, but this guy's here.

Oh, this is—

is that Michelle? Michelle, you look just like Justin Timberlake.

Say whatever you want. Hi.

Hi, Mr. Timberlake. Michelle, you look just like Justin Timberlake.

Yeah.

We were talking about Michelle Purple.

Oh, yeah.

Hi, buddy. Hey, buddy. Welcome to Smartless. Yeah. Hi, how you guys doing?

Hey, Justin, do you remember when I was nominated for a Teen Choice Award and I came into your trailer and you rode on my stomach?

He sure doesn't.

He sure doesn't.

Good to see you guys.

Good to see you guys.

I just came to see if you wanted something to eat.

No, thank you, baby. I'm good.

She needs some tech support.

Yeah, tech support.

Do you want some food?

Right now? No, I'm okay.

Okay, bye. He's literally trying to see if she's safe. He's like, are you safe or do you want me to come in?

I think I'm gonna sit down with you guys soon. Yeah, get in. Oh, good.

Oh, good.

See, now they're really excited. They're so excited. More excited than this.

Like, so whatever—

Just take over.

No, no, whatever shit you say about me, I'll get to retort.

Okay. Yeah, yeah.

Okay.

Great to see you guys.

Bye.

You too, pal.

Sean, I can't wait to rub your belly again.

Okay.

Okay, thank you.

He does remember.

Wait, was it a rub or a write?

He wrote on my shirt.

What did he write on your shirt?

I don't remember.

Is this like an autograph?

No, but I framed it and I gave it to my niece.

Do you guys want me to ask him to just come back and, like, I can slide out?

No, are you kidding me?

He just told us— wait, by the way, he just told us that he's coming on the show, which I guess means that that's a secret revealed.

It is a secret revealed.

We're all doing visitors now.

We have another visitor. Denny and I.

You can't hear them, but just say hi. Hi.

Listener, that's Willie's youngest, Denny.

Yeah. Wait, Jess, he said— look at us.

No, yes, yes, yes.

Yeah.

Okay.

So, yeah, he just revealed that he's coming on the show. He said anything you say shitty about him, he can retort in his episode.

Give me a— give us a shitty story that happened this morning. Or what's our last time?

Something that we can hold his feet to the fire on.

Yeah. About food or watching movies.

Anything.

Does he grab the remote? Like, does he ever let you take charge of the movie?

Oh, I've got a good one. I've got a good one for you, which happened This morning. So we have in our— we have this little cute fitness space in our house.

Sure.

And we have this cool accordion, you know, these accordion windows that kind of fold into themselves.

Yeah, like on a honey wagon.

Yes. Oh, a honey wagon. That just brought me back. A honey wagon. Do we need to explain that to Tracy? I'm not sure. Is that—

she knows? So Tracy, there are these trailers. Yeah, we did before.

I was thinking of something else. Okay, go ahead.

Yeah, that too.

They're small dressing rooms.

Anyway, okay, so the accordion windows slide open, and then you have this pretty view, and you can work out with the windows wide open. Cool. I put the alarm on last night, went to bed, woke up, and started pulling shades up. And the shades in the gym kind of went— kind of looked like they were getting sucked into the corner of the window and started to go up and had a big crinkle in them. And so— and I was looking— Can't have that. quickly brought him back down and walked over. Accordion windows had been left open all night long.

Oh, boy.

And honestly, I was—

First of all, that alarm needs to be updated.

That was my first thing was, who did not connect these ginormous, scary windows to the alarm system, which let me turn it on?

And don't you live— you don't live in Los Angeles?

I don't. We live in Montana. And that's the other thing. We have humongous animals here.

Oh, my God.

And if they— they come in for garbage. So we could have woken up to a bear in there.

Yeah. My dream.

Or a couple of elk or a moose.

Again, something else. Sean's thinking of something else.

Sean wakes up to a bear every morning. Thanks, Scotty.

So there you go.

Wow, that's interesting.

You can give him some shit for that.

What about, you know, Scotty and I just— we always have this thing with the TV too where, like, every night when we watch something, I'll be like, can you turn it down? Can you turn it up?

Oh, God.

Can you turn it down? Oh, God. I'm like, well, if you're going to— if you're going to man the remote control, then you have to deal with me saying—

Yeah, you have to be willing to take—

Yeah, you have to take direction easier.

Who gets the remote? You or Scotty?

Scotty.

Scotty all the time.

Always, of course.

I don't even know how to turn—

He's Johnny Tech. Although I will say his phone went off the other day at a service, and I was like, hey, Johnny Tech has a phone.

I know. Well, that was for his diabetes. Thanks. So, Jessica—

Oh, geez.

Our Lord alert.

Nice one.

It was a good one.

Have a donut.

Have a donut.

Was it really?

It really was because it was diabetes.

Grab the donut.

Yeah. And then I just grabbed it instead. Oh, we'll be right back.

And now back to the show.

So wait. Oh, by the way, you know what else I saw? Because I'm on TikTok a lot.

Sure. Hold on one sec, Jessica. Go ahead, Sean.

I wanted to say how funny it was because there was a TikTok trend a while ago, and I saw your hilarious response to, um, what was it? Moms used to startle their kids by saying Jessica or something like that.

Oh, yeah.

Huh?

Oh, yeah. What was that?

Right?

Do you remember that trend?

Yes, yes. That really happened. That was like a thing for a minute.

Yeah.

Where, where— Tell me.

I don't know.

Jessica.

Oh, it's so funny.

Well, Jess, you tell it.

Well, it was just if, if the kid's having a meltdown, they would go, Jessica? Jessica? And the kid would literally go, And stop crying. And stop crying and like look around in panic. And I literally was like, guys, Jessica's are nice people. You're making them scared. You're making your kids scared of us. We are not trying to creep you out or freak you out. And it definitely doesn't work for my kids. My kids are like, she's going crazy finally. She's just saying our name over and over and over again.

It does not work on your kids? How old are they?

11 and 6.

Ooh, fun ages.

I got a 6.

Is he 6?

He's 6, yeah.

So sweet.

That's a great age, isn't it?

That's a sweet age.

He's cute.

But wait, wait, Jason, you were talking about Purple. You were talking about Michelle Purple.

Oh, Michelle Purple.

Let's go. Let's get back to her.

Who is Michelle Purple?

Michelle Purple. Okay. I'm so glad you brought her up. I know you hear this all the time, but she is your number one fan of Me? Smartless. She is the number one fan of this show and is so excited that I'm talking to you guys. And she literally said to me this morning, she goes, if you fuck this up, if you embarrass me or us or our company, I swear to God. And I was like, I'm gonna do my best.

So let's go deep on Purple.

So she's your business partner, I'm guessing?

She's my business partner and has been my best friend for over 20 years. She ran Rob Cohen's company. She produced Fast and the Furious, Triple X, and Stealth. Her and Rob hired me for Stealth. That's how we met 20 years ago. And then we were in Australia together shooting Stealth, and we became really good friends and started watching movies together. And that— talking about going back—

Then you poached her. Then you poached her.

And I poached her. And she was ready to be poached. She wasn't sure what she wanted to do. And honestly, I—

But she knew she wanted to leave Rob. She knew that.

She knew she needed to move on from that. And I said to her, Hey, let's do— let's make a production company. Let's do it. And she was like, you don't know anything about that. And I said, you're right, but you do.

So let's—

she's like, this is a terrible plan. This is a bad idea.

So to Sean's sister in Madison, Wisconsin, tell her what starting a production company really means. What did you want to do with starting Iron Ocean?

Okay, so when you started—

With Michelle Purple.

With Michelle—

Michelle Deep Purple.

Purple. Michelle Purple, the best.

Jason, do you know her? Are you good friends with her? We're deep.

We go deep, deep, deep purple.

Does he know her?

Yeah, deep purple. I don't think so.

Oh, we're gonna. Okay.

But guess what? She wants to know you.

Great.

So she should come for dinner tonight.

She might change her mind.

She lives in LA.

She might change her mind.

Or at least let's have a Zoom for a development meeting on something.

Oh, God, yes, please. Anyway, production company. So that was a moment where I really wanted to take charge of my career and not just sit around and wait for the phone call of, like, you have an audition, or you have this or that.

Sure, right.

She wanted to take charge of her career, and so we We started this tiny production company not knowing how to do any of it. Well, she knew how to do— she made big films, big action movies. And we wanted to make small movies about women and female stories. And that was when nobody was doing that. The only company that was doing that was Drew's company.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Flower.

Flower. Flower.

With the great Nancy Tavone. Nancy.

With the Nancy. With the legend of all time, Nancy. I love Nancy too.

Same.

So that was that. Literally, we would go into, you know, we'd go talk to our agents and managers and tell them this idea that we're doing this thing. And they literally looked at us and would just blink with blank faces and go, do not do this. And we were like, we're gonna do it. So we've been trying to make movies and TV shows for 20 years. It was so hard. We did almost nothing for 10 years.

And then did you do Better Sister through—

Right. So through Iron Ocean, we did The Sinner. We produced The Sinner.

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

That's a great, great show. We produced Limetown, which nobody saw, which was such a bummer and was such a good show.

But taken from a podcast. So teach us how to do that. We're looking to break the smartless movie.

I love The Sinner. I love that. That was great.

Thank you. Better Sister, Candy, Cruel Summer.

You had to work with that Liz Banks gal on Better Sister, though. How did you get through that?

Oh, that Liz Banks.

This woman—

She does more than anyone I know.

And Max. And Max.

Oh, and Max. I love her. She's a delight.

They're the best. They're the best.

They're just delightful and fun. She's so fun. God, she's cool. She does so much shit. I'm like, how does she do so much shit?

I know.

She's impressive.

Jessica, can I ask you, so you did all this stuff. Remember, Sean asked you before when he jumped the gun, as he does, about having kids, and you had kids at the time, or you didn't have kids. But now when you go and you do something like Matchbox, and then you go, you're in Hungary, you're in Morocco, you're in Slovakia, you're in all these places, and you got to— and we deal with that. I know a little bit of what that's like, but how are you at managing that and dealing with that with the family and traveling and doing—

because you can't come back and forth when you're over there, right?

Yeah. Because not only do you have to do the thing, not only do you have to do the job and be concentrating on that 12 hours a 12 hours a day. You've got all these people and kids who you're responsible for, and you have to make sure that they're having a great experience. It's not easy.

No, it's not. And it's a constant balancing act. Sometimes I think I do it better, we do it better than others, and other times it's an absolute shitstorm.

Yeah.

Right. And it should be noted that we know that a lot of people out there, obviously everybody in the world deals with work and kids and stuff like that. And so we're not— but it's also adding in just the travel element You know, being overseas.

There's a few occupations that have the same thing, you know? Not the least of which is military. And, I mean, athletes and politicians, they're stationed around the world, all that kind of stuff. It's very, very difficult, that travel element. How do you guys do it?

Well, usually we try not to work at the same time, but that did not work at all for Matchbox. Justin was on tour in the middle of the global tour, which was insane. He was literally in South America. Or he was in North America, and I was in South America. I was in Budapest with the kids. They came for 7 weeks. We didn't see Justin for 8 weeks. Then we met back up in the Bahamas for a week. Then I went to Morocco. Then he went to South America, and my kids went back to Montana.

Oh, wow.

It was wild. The only way it works is the incredible nanny team, support team, assistant team, colleague team. I cannot do this. My life does not function without all of those incredible—

And do you guys have family in Montana with you, near you?

We don't have— well, Justin's cousin Rachel and my kids' cousin Hawkins is here, but we do— like, my mom doesn't live here. My mom lives in Colorado. His parents are in Tennessee. My dad is in Hawaii. So we're all over the place. So we don't really have kind of the— we don't have grandparents close by.

Yeah.

Unfortunately, which is a bummer.

Yeah. But you make it work and you figure out and you get great people to help you. And those become— I think that that's pretty normal. It used to be generations ago that you had family around to help, and now because people live in all these places, as you pointed out. You have to have people who can help you, who become part of your family.

Oh my God, yes.

And help you. Yeah. Yeah, same.

Takes a village. All right, so when you're done being incredibly prolific as an actor, as a producer, your job at home, which is even harder, when you're alone, what do you do to complete yourself? Oh, yeah. What do you do that would surprise— What settles you that would be surprising to people?

Oh, wait.

You know?

What's settled, unsettled? Don't listen to Will.

Don't listen to Will.

But his voice is so hypnotic. That's all I can hear.

I know.

It gets in there.

Oh, my God. It is getting in there.

Like, how do you decompress? How do you reset? I like to just zone out and stare at a baseball game on a television screen. It's just very meditative for me. Is there something that takes you back down?

Usually it's exercise or getting outside and just being, you know, taking a walk, taking a hike, walking the dogs, or training hard.

Do you have headphones on when you're outside, or can you get quiet with your brain?

I go a little bit of both. I like to listen to books on, you know, like books on tape, whatever you wanna call that. So I listen to, like, I love to read. I love to kind of dive into that kind of imaginary space world, and also just to listen to the birds and listen to the wind. That, for me, I love. Like a good forest bath.

I love that.

Yeah.

Forest bath. I love that.

Forest bath.

That's the name of my production company.

Jason, we were talking about this the other night at dinner. Sean, you didn't come because you had no plans. And we were at a— Jessica, you should know, we're all together, and we're leaving this place, and we're going for dinner because we're all in town again.

We've just shared a very emotional bonding, Yeah. Evening at a dear friend's memorial. The great Jim Morrison.

The great Jim Morrison. The great Jim Morrison. And Shauna's gotta go home. They got nothing to do.

Yeah.

And they go home. They don't come with their best friends for dinner.

Yeah. I don't wanna rehash and pull each other.

No, no, no. No, I just— I was just—

What was it?

Wheel of Fortune was starting, probably, right?

A. B, I was tired. C, Jeopardy! too.

Oh, okay.

Jeopardy!'s before Wheel of Fortune.

You were tired from what? So, but anyway, my point is this, JB, you and I were talking at dinner about this idea of there's not enough premium these days paid for the idea of just sitting around and having nothing. You're not holding your phone, you're not listening to anything, you're looking out the window, you're just alone in your thoughts, and just that sort of— in that kind of state. And that is where people say, like, oh, you know, where does creativity come? Or whatever. It comes out of boredom. It comes out of letting your mind wander. And I don't think— do you ever— do you do that?

Who, me? No, she does. She says yes.

No, she said she's outside.

Out in the forest bath.

But to your point, just— Just like sitting there forest bathing. I mean, you got to do it. But I need more of that in my life, honestly. I can get into that space where when I do come home, I'm like, okay, now it's time to work out. Okay, now it's like, oh, what's happening for the kids tomorrow? Like, there's not much time. And you really do have to carve out that time to sit quietly.

You know when I find it— you know when I do it these days? We were talking about it. I do it on airplanes. I'll often force myself to not read, not to watch a movie, not to whatever. And I just—

Look out the window.

Like a dummy drooling, looking out the window. Yeah, and I just—

but wait, can I go back to the forest bath thing? Is that a real—

okay, no, it is a thing. Yes, we can go back.

So wait, is, is it a real bath in the forest? Is there—

no, you fucking— goddamn it.

Well, maybe we shouldn't have gone back. I'm so sorry, you guys.

That's my bad. You think she's in a Cialis ad? She's just sitting in a bathtub out in the forest? What are you talking about?

I, I fell into that trap. I walked right in.

I, I don't understand.

It's It's just the sounds.

Oh, okay.

So you put on sounds on and you're just like walking through the forest, bathing in the sounds of the forest.

Let the forest wash over you.

Okay.

Yeah, but let's talk about a bath versus a shower. I love baths.

Great segue. Let's get into the bathroom.

Because a bath is 10 times more effort and work than a shower.

Yeah. Wait, are you saying you prefer the bath or not?

No, prefer the shower. The bath You gotta turn it on, it's gotta be the right temperature, you gotta wait.

Oh, I forgot about turning it on. You're right.

That is hard. Oh, man, I forgot about that. I feel like, JB, you might be into a hydrogen bath.

No, I—

You're kind of like a longevity—

What's that?

Like, person, right?

I don't— yes, I don't mind working on my longevity for sure. But what I don't like about baths is not only, as I've discussed before on this show, is doing your own juices, but you've gotta get out of the bath and then shower.

Do you?

Because you've got to get— well, of course you do, because you've been sitting in your filth for 20 minutes.

How dirty are you, JB?

Jason, Jason, it's your dad's voice again. It's your dad's voice again.

Stop. That was—

that was—

that went up.

It's not filth, Jason. You're not dirty, Jason. You're sitting in filth! You're sitting in your own filth!

Tell me, but just, just give me the math. Just indulge me for one second.

Okay.

You get into the bath, you're, you're not clean before you get in the bath.

Right?

Can we agree upon that? You've taken your clothes off, so you've got your dirt and your sweat, whatever, from your day, and you get into the water. Where does all the filth go? Still in the water. The drain is clogged so that the water doesn't run out, right? So you're still in all the dirt that was just on your skin.

Oh my God, I just realized I am a disgusting human and I have been soaking in my own filth.

When you get out of the bath, you got to take a shower.

I do often take a shower.

You're dirty, Jason.

Most— I would say 95% of the time I am taking a shower after the bath, except when it's hydrogen bathing, and you're not supposed to do that.

What's hydrogen bathing?

Because it's pulling the detox— it's detoxing you.

But what is that?

And then it's in the water, you just got to get out, and then I think you're supposed to leave that on your body. Am I wrong about that, JB?

But what's hydro— well, how is hydrogen in water? I don't know about it. Is it like Epsom salts?

It's like a— it's a machine that injects, um, the hydrogen gas into and makes little teeny tiny bubbles.

In the bath?

In the bath. And it's detoxing.

It's a carbonated bath.

Yeah, it's like you're in a soda.

Does it work?

I take a bath.

I love a bath.

I love a bath. I also love a crazy Epsom salt bath, like with £20 of Epsom salt. I'm not kidding.

Can I tell you something? Can I tell you one of the most relaxing things in the world to do is to smoke a cigarette in a bath? I love doing that.

With a little— you have a little TV on in the corner there, Will?

Yeah, I did.

Wait, what about— let me ask about Epsom salt. Like, is Epsom salt supposed to do— what is it supposed to do to your skin? Why do you have so much?

It pulls stuff out of your skin, right?

It does.

It's definitely going but it's going to take the inflammation away. So if you're soaking with so many pounds of it, like, to your body weight, you wake up next morning snatched.

You know what I'm saying? Snatched.

Did you say snatched?

I did.

Snatched.

You wake up snatched.

Snatched. Yeah.

Like, if you have a— you know, you got a shoot the next day and everything— you know, your whole body is— your body's basically a giant hemorrhoid, guys. It's going up, it's going up. It's going up, it's going down.

So you're saying I can wake up slightly thinner, a little bit more taut, less water?

Not even slightly thinner. Like, it's gone. You are snatched.

Do you ever pretend when you're in the bath that you're shooting— do you ever pretend you're shooting a commercial and you take the sponge and you just kind of wash your arm? You know, like they do in movies and commercials?

You mean like slow and sexy alone in the bath?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you ever do that?

Nope.

Sometimes?

Not ever.

No, you know what? I like scrub like it's the end of my life.

Okay.

You know, I'm like trying to— I'm like scrubbing.

Scrubbing so hard, it's not cute.

I take a shower like Karen Silkwood. I'm just in there in the corner, just crying.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. But, Shaunie, can I come back to you for one sec?

Sure.

So you're in the shower and you slow things down with the— first of all, there's a sponge in the shower? Did I get that right?

Yeah, there's always a sponge. Yeah, yeah.

A loofah?

But I do— but I do think—

And you slowly drag it across your arm with a slight grin as if you're in a commercial?

I do scrub, but I do— you know what I do when I wash my legs, like my calf? I'll hold the sponge and move my leg, not move the sponge.

What fun you have on this show.

Amazing. Dude, I just love the progression of humans. You've just learned so much.

I'll do this. Watch, Jess. Jess, watch.

I'm watching. I'm watching.

I'll do this. If this is a thing, I'm like this.

Definitely show. Oh, that's incredible. So it's kind of like a little workout in the middle.

Reminds me of the guy I know that masturbates He masturbates missionary style. He lays on his bed, stomach down, and he just fucks his hand. This is a guy I know, okay? He's as stupid as you are, you fucking moron. Hey, Jessica, I love having you on this show so much.

Shut up! What a joy you are.

You're the greatest, all right?

What a pleasure to have you on the podcast. Take that as your parting thought. You know what I mean?

I'll never forget that.

It's an image you can't unget.

I thoroughly enjoy you, and I hope we can meet in person one day. I've been a fan for a long time.

Me too.

Yeah. You're the greatest.

Thank you, guys. This has been a lot of fun.

Enjoy the rest of your bath today.

Yeah. I can't wait for the car movie.

I'm gonna be taking so many showers.

Yes. Matchbox, October 9th on Apple TV. Don't mess around. Oh, that was 3 days ago. Today's October 12th. Happy 12th, everybody. Jessica, love you.

Love you guys.

Thank you.

Enjoy the rest of your day.

Bye.

Goodbye. Goodbye.

That was great.

Oh, my fucking God.

That's the great Jessica Biel.

She's great.

You are welcome. She's a delight.

She is a delight. I want to do the outro. I give her her due. Her movie, you got to go see it. Matchbox.

It came out this past weekend. The trailer was incredible.

I can't wait.

The trailer is amazing.

She's great in everything she does. She's such a talent. JB, walk us through your buddy.

This guy? This guy, yeah. This is the— this is, by the way, he's not the same guy, but he's also friends with the fella who doesn't chew gum because he doesn't understand why you'd chew something that you never swallow.

What?

These 2 guys are friends. Both friends.

Yep.

So, uh, this is why I'm constantly shopping for new friends. I'd love to find time for the both of you. We're gonna start Tonight at dinner, and I hope it works out.

Oh, what are we gonna have for dinner?

Sushi and pizza. Uh, wasn't that the request?

Yeah, you know what? I could eat sushi. I could eat sushi.

Here it comes.

In, in chunks of 12 pieces, right? Which would be, uh, by the dozen.

Oh, I thought you were gonna say 12 bites.

Oh, sorry.

All right, bye everybody.

Bye.

Holy fuck. Smartass.

Smartless.

Smartless is 100% organic and artisanally handcrafted by Michael Grant Terry, Rob Armjarv, and Bennett Barbacoa. Smartless.