Transcript of "RE-RELEASE: Charlie Day"

Hi there. This is Will Arnett, host of the Will Arnett Fun Zone Podcast. Hang on, hang on, Will. This week— what? We've talked about this, man. We've been over this like so many times. Okay. But we are doing it though, right? We are going to do that. No, we're not. This is Smartless. Okay.

Fun Zone.

I know.

Well, what are we doing today? All we need is a super simple welcome to Smartless. Oh, right. Dig deep for this. Welcome to Smartless. Smartless. Smartless. Smartless. Now, listen, Jason, before we get too deep into the show, we need to talk about the crew, the crew caller. And now you've Tell us what— walk us through what happened this morning.

Well, I went ahead and I got showered and changed prior to our record for my golf engagement following this record.

Oh, you golf?

Yeah.

I'm not proud to say, but Chuckles over there does it too. So, yeah, so I put on my collared shirt, as you're required to do. And then it's a little chilly here in Los Angeles, so I put on a nice wrap. Over the top of it, a nice cashmere wrap. And the collar on that crew neck was a little tight, so it took the collar of my undershirt there and pushed it up, and then Will was hurting me, calling it a mock turtleneck. So that sweater's gone. I'm gonna go to a V-neck.

And Will said— we were talking about money for producing the podcast, and Will said—

What's the budget for mock turtlenecks for Jason? Are they coming out of the budget? Jason, it's a fair question. First of all, you're allowed to mock a mock turtleneck. It's built into the name.

Hey, but by the way, you'll never see me in a mock turtleneck. You'll never see me in a turtleneck for sure, because I've got probably— they ask you sometimes, what's the one thing you change about your body? It's probably my non-superhero jawline. I've got sort of like a diagonal from the end of my chin to my Adam's apple as opposed to a 90-degree. So if I wear a turtleneck, I then have the turkey goblet hangover over the edge that cascades, that The skin that cascades over the edge of the turtle. I can't have it.

Yeah, no, I get it.

I disagree. You both have nice silhouettes.

Go back to the thing, though, about being cold. It's cold in LA. I came down the stairs today. I'm not making this up. I came downstairs, and Scotty had the heat on on the first floor of Los Angeles, and the heat— I was sweating by the time I got to the bottom of it.

You come down the stairs of your Hollywood house every day like Gloria Swanson, right? That's right.

In a flowing housecoat.

Yeah.

Ready for my close-up?

It's so great to see you guys.

It's so great to see you guys too. This is really exciting. I'm excited for you guys to talk to our guest today.

Oh, I am excited to listen.

Because our guest is somebody— This is a mega talent. This person is a person who's been doing it for a long time. This person is not just an actor. This person is a writer. This person is a skilled musician who started playing violin at the age of 3. They can play the piano, accordion, trombone, guitar, harmonica, and has written and improvised music a lot in a show that they've done now for many, many years. This person received an honorary doctorate in performing arts from Merrimack College. This person, you know, was active at Williamstown Theater Festival back in the day. This person has gone on to a huge career in television. In, I guess, the longest-running TV comedy of all time. This person has—

Slow down here. I want to do some guesses here.

Well, this is my guess, and it makes sense because this is my friend, and I'm so happy to have my friend, and I want you guys to start trying to guess. This person has done lots of movies. This person was in The Lego Movie with me.

Is Charlie Day?

The Lego Movie 2?

Yeah.

Pacific Rim?

Longest-running comedy.

Horrible Bosses and its sequel.

Well, it's got to be Chuck Day. Chuck Norris. Thank God.

All right, you're scraping the bottom of the barrel now, boy. Time to wrap the show up.

Um, so, um, Chuck, um, what about this? Is, um, now I think the reason you've taken so long, uh, to book on this is, uh, your schedule.

A real long time for someone to ask me.

I can't believe Rob McElhenney beat you onto this show. What does that say about us?

Here's, here's my favorite part, is that Bateman and Chuck Day been friends for many years. They've done a few movies together, and I was so happy to steal Charlie as my guest from Under Bateman, just, just to really put him on too. I know.

I think maybe you did ask me.

Yeah, definitely. And then you were saying, yeah, gosh, you know, I don't know, we're starting a podcast. And I, I think he gave me a little bit of a runaround, and I don't, I don't like to pressure people. I, um, I know you were looking to get paid quite a bit of money for today.

Yeah, I was waiting for you guys to make money so I could start making money, which is cool because Will cut me a great check for this.

I I'm gonna send him over cash, a guy with a rucksack full of cash.

Yeah, and that's a bake-up for me, guys.

'Cause you're not doing that well, right? You know, that show is not paying you.

I've made a lot of bad decisions, though. You know what I mean? I've made a lot of sketchy calls.

Wait, we had— Charlie, we had McElhenney on, and is it really the longest-running sitcom in history?

Yeah.

Yeah, well, years. If you don't count episodes, I think you did more episodes of Will Grace in, like, 2 seasons than we've done. How many years is it?

Now, this is something we don't want to gloss over because you should be, and I'm sure you are, so proud of how long this show has been on the air. Yeah, it's so cool.

We're talking, of course, about Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

15 years.

Jesus.

Wow. 15 years.

And you're about to do another one or two?

I don't know. At least another one, and we'll see after that.

Look at the way he's positioning right there. He knows Fox is listening.

Of course.

FX or whatever the hell it is.

And he's going to jam them again.

He's going to get us to 20. You know what it is?

We've done a lot of these. I don't know how long we can keep them up.

Nothing adds more zeros than a foot out the door, right? I mean, that's just— That's true.

That's true. Yeah.

So, Charlie, let's talk a little bit about— 'Cause we're talking about Always Sunny in Philadelphia, which is a huge, long-running show, longest by years. Could you have imagined— Take us back to the day when you actually— when it actually became a TV show. 'Cause we had Rob on here, we talked about it. You guys made some videos and stuff, and you shot some stuff. Is that— Am I remembering that correctly? And you took it to FX? Yeah, that's right.

That's basically it. I mean, we were shooting in my apartment, which was on the corner of Western and Franklin there. I lived— I think I paid $600 a month for rent.

You got robbed. Quick aside, Jason, last time you were east of Coahuila, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

Back in the drug days, for sure.

Yeah, I think I might have seen you scoring on the corner. Yeah.

There was a payphone I'd like to hang out at.

Yeah, I might have had to run you down a dime bag or something once.

I'm not sure what it was.

Oh my God.

So you're in your apartment.

Right. And was there a phone call from your agent or manager or something that said, "They bought it"?

You know what it was? So we had shot this thing, and it was, like, pretty good, but we knew we'd sort of not hit the nail on the head. And we had nothing really going on, so we redid the whole thing. We were doing it so cheaply. We were holding the cameras. We had a little boom that was— It was real low rent. And our second go-around was pretty funny. We thought, "There's something here." And we were all at Three Arts Management at the time. So, like, Nick Frankel and Michael Rotenberg took it to WME, and they kind of sat on it for a while. They're like, "Yeah, maybe we'll hook you up with a big producer." And, God, we waited forever for Jon Favreau to watch it. And he just— I guess he never got around to it.

The one that got away.

I know. Well, I mean, I'm so glad I'm not cutting half a check to Jon, you know? I mean, I'm sure he would've helped a lot, but, you know, it's nice not to have to be paying him anything. But eventually, we got kind of bored, and we shot a third episode, and—

Literally, you shot it because you were just in this waiting because the agencies are— So you guys are on their timetable.

Well, that and the only thing to do on Western is either move the dime bags or shoot another episode. And it was that or nothing.

It should be noted. Can I just take this? Am I right in saying this? And you guys can agree or disagree with me. The agenting in show business is hilarious because, like, you can't get in touch with your agent first thing in the morning because they're in a staff meeting. Every agent takes lunch at 1 o'clock, no matter what. So they're out of the office for 2 hours.

They need an hour or so to get there.

They need an hour to get there, so they leave at 12. Sorry, we lost him. He's on his way to a lunch. And then he's back at 3. Then they do the thing, it's like, "Well, he's not in the office." "Why not?" "Well, because next week is Thanksgiving." Yeah, next week is Thanksgiving, not this week.

The fuck are you doing? And then the month of December.

And then month of December, sorry, it's the holidays. Sure, got it. And then they go, and then, you know, obviously Sundance is at the end of January, so nobody's back till Feb 1. It's the most ridiculous racket of all time.

We were getting a lot of that.

Yeah, the end of the day goes like this. Well, the end of the day goes, "Sorry, we're closed." He's gonna start rolling calls, and then they call knowing you're not gonna pick up.

Yeah, or they call you at 7 o'clock, and you're having dinner with the kid, and you're like, "Why are you calling me now?" Yeah. Right. Sorry. Sorry, Charlie. I just had to get that in.

No, that's it though. We lost sort of patience with that kind of thing. And we said, "We're gonna leave you guys, and we're gonna go to a different agency with this." And that sort of prompted them setting a bunch of meetings. And Rob went around, 'cause we thought maybe it'd be too much to have all three of us in the meeting. So Rob went, and we had an offer from FX to shoot a real pilot with a real budget.

Rob's the closer.

He's a closer.

He's better in a meeting. He's a better salesman.

Where— now, how are you in meetings? Because I don't think I'm great in meetings. I don't enjoy them. I feel like I'm trapped in an office. I feel like I'm 45 minutes from getting out of these walls. So it better not go bad in the next minute or two because I'm stuck. Like all those things I start to feel, I start to think about, and then it just— the walls start getting closer and closer like Star Wars. How are you? Do you look at it as like an arena, like I'm on stage, or this is fun, like let's win? Or are you looking to get out of there? It's tough. It's a tough part of this business.

You know, it depends. They're all very different. You go into a meeting and you just— sometimes you just get cold stares.

Yeah.

Well, often—

I do have that vibe sometimes of like, well, here's the idea, guys. Do you want to buy it or not?

Okay.

Yeah.

If you have that indifference, what's it called, Will?

Sexy. It's called sexy.

Sexy indifference. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Charlie, you know about his sexy indifference, right? Yeah.

It's one of— I'm still working on it. Major terms. Yeah, you—

But yeah, it's, you know, it's— You're either selling or you're buying. The buyers usually look at you with absolutely no expression because they can. The sellers, us, have to go in there like, you know, circus clowns because we're selling. And that's really what we do in this business. And in a good year, you're selling yourself 6, 7, 8 times and winning. Like, in other words, you get fired half a dozen times and rehired half a dozen times if you're killing it. So, I mean, how many people in other industries have to sell themselves or get fired or rehired maybe 3, 4 times over their whole life? I mean, we got to do that all the time. It's tough. It was hard for me.

It is crazy. But then you look at the flip of it, Charlie. So you guys go through this process. You make this thing, you wait, you make this thing, you wait, you're waiting. You have to threaten to leave the agency. Finally, FX buys it. You guys are kind of a little bit hat in hand. And now, all these years later, you're at the position we asked you, like, "Are you gonna do more?" You're like, "Maybe I'll do one more, whatever." Like, you have— the tables have turned a little bit.

Yeah, well—

Not a little bit, a lot.

Yeah, I mean, I think the thing is, though, when we were shooting that pilot, I was 27 years old.

Right.

And I'm 46. And so I feel like, you know, I put in my time with this one.

You look 23, though.

I know, it's incredible.

How do you cross age? Since it started off. Must be a real stress-free set there.

But we all make stuff. We all produce or write or direct or act, whatever. And Charlie, kind of what Jason was talking about, is there a point where you— like, are you getting to a point where it's bothersome that the grind is getting to you about getting all these nos? Because it seems now to put together a package to sell something, you have to really stack the deck high before anybody will even consider. You hear about Meryl Streep getting passed on or whoever these big stars go out to pitch these shows and they get passed. Well, if they get passed and I'm stacking the deck and we're getting nos, what does it take to keep a production company going?

I like to get everything done independently of a partner. So, you know, like, I'd rather— if I'm going to be pitching a movie, I'd rather have the whole thing written.

Right.

And say, you know, and a director in place and an actor in place.

Yeah. Like, here's— we're going—

this is what it is.

So all they do is write the check.

Basically.

Yeah.

Yeah. You know, as it should be.

Yeah. But then that means you got to do a bunch of work for free ahead of time, which is cool if you've got the time and the funds to bank on yourself and work for free for a little while. Yeah.

Look, at some point you're going to have to do that work anyway. So I'm usually— it depends, right? There's other things I'll pitch and I'll know, okay, I want to get a writer on this and I want to get that person paid. So I'll— but even then, I'll work with that writer. I'll develop a whole outline. So that movie is basically ready to go. And I'll attach a few people to the movie, and then I'll go in and be like, "Here it is. This is what it is. Here's who's acting in it. Here's the director.

Now please pay this guy." And Will and Sean, you gotta understand, this guy is— He's so fast, and he's so good. He wrote Horrible Bosses 2 on a 5-hour plane ride from New York to Los Angeles. I'm not exaggerating. He did a complete rewrite, page one rewrite on it, and we used most of it. And out of deference to our writers that wrote the draft before, I'm exaggerating a little bit, but Charlie deserves a great deal of credit for that.

Well, I appreciate that. I don't want to take credit away from, you know, the guys who wound up doing it. You don't even remember their names. What an asshole.

I mean, he's fast, but he is a prick.

I'm fast with writing. I'm real slow with names.

And we will be right back.

And now back to the show.

Wait, so speaking of names, so you and— obviously you have a long-time relationship with Rob McLean. How did you guys first meet? What was that?

I met Rob on a plane. So we were both being flown out. We were both being flown out to test for a pilot for the same role. And it was one of those things where, you know, you're in the airport and you're like, "Oh, this guy's gotta be an actor." You know, he's got that look. And, uh— The show was called "Mather House." It was about college kids or something like that. And, you know, I think— I don't know when I said hello, but maybe after the plane landed and—

Where were you coming from? From New York?

From New York, yeah. We both lived in New York and we were flying out. You know, they put you up on, like, at the Hilton or something right off the 101 there.

Oh, yeah.

Right by Universal.

Oh, many times.

So we're both staying there and then—

Used to find Jason on the side.

Yeah. I used to remember pilot season, I used to come out there and stay there or the Sheraton or the Intercontinental over by Fox, which is where Tony Hale and I stayed for the Arrested test. Anyway, keep going.

It was my second time that happened. It happened to me. I tested for something called Weird Henry, and they liked me for Weird Henry, and they flew me out, and then they did one sort of, you know, round of notes with the producers, and then the studio was like, "This show's not gonna work," and they canned the whole thing. And then the same thing happened with Rob. Rob and I both went and tested, and I remember thinking, like, "Ah, I got this guy. He doesn't have the charisma. I'm not worried about him." "Look at his stupid face. No one's gonna want him." "Look at his dumb face, man. He's never gonna make it in show business." "He'll never own a football team with Ryan Reynolds." "Yeah, forget it." He was too handsome. I was like, "He's too modelly. You need someone real." And then the same thing happened. They canned the whole show while we were out there. And we just kind of bonded and stayed buddies. And, you know, now I can't get rid of him. You know, every year I'm like, "Well, maybe we've done it with the show." He's like, "Come on, one more.

Let's go." And then so not only can you not get rid of him on Always Sunny, then you guys create Mythic Quest with— It wasn't just the two of you. It was somebody else too.

Yeah, it was Megan Ganz.

Megan Ganz. Yes, of course.

Yeah, no, I can't get rid of this guy. And I, you know, I go on podcasts, I'm just talking about him. I'm like, I hear him, he barely talks about me. I'm talking about the same guy constantly.

No, no, he talks about you quite a bit. We just can't repeat it.

Oh, okay. And you guys started a podcast together too. Now you've got this Always Sunny podcast.

And now we're talking about the show and people are listening.

And we're not here to plug that. We're not going to talk about it.

No, let's, let's plug all everything you got.

I think we should really, if we really want to get this cooking, we should just talk about golf.

I mean, let's go.

Well, first of all, when we were doing Horrible Bosses, and I'm a bit of a golf nut, I would say, "Oh, Jason, you know, I heard you used to golf." And you said, "Yeah, I don't do it anymore." I was like, "Well, you should come out with me, you know, maybe sometime and just, you know, dust off the old sticks and hit a few." You are the most golfing man I know now.

Yeah, it's incredible.

Nonstop. And back then, I was very disciplined. I didn't want to dance with the dragon again. You know, I've got addiction issues.

Yes.

And I was like, "No, no, no." You are fully addicted to golf. Dance with the dragon.

No, no, that's a saying.

And then during COVID you know, Will just threw me a lifeline. He said, listen, buddy, you got to step away from Rachel Maddow, take your PJs off, and let's get out there, do something socially distant. Let's play golf.

And 2 weeks later, we were in Pebble Beach.

Yeah, no joke. He put it right in my arm.

Yeah, I love it. Well, I love that you do it. I hope you don't give it up.

No, no, I don't. Look at me. I'm dressed. Look at my outfit, for Christ's sake. I'm a half hour from the tee.

Oh, keep it snappy because I know you got a tee time.

Yeah, let's go, Charlie.

I, I have a shot.

I know, I know your question is going to be, hey Charlie, how, how long and straight are you off the tee? Very. He's very consistent off the tee. It's unbelievable.

This guy's a single-digit handicap. Listeners, anybody who's into golf, this guy, it— this guy doesn't shoot over 80. It's okay.

It's—

he's a natural athlete. He played a lot of baseball when he was coming up.

The most you know about me. This is surprising.

Um, wait, so, so Charlie, speaking of growing up, so, so I mentioned in the thing that you play piano and you play all these instruments. Yeah, always. What's up with that? Because I don't know where—

look at Sean perk up. Sean doesn't want to talk about a long off the tee, but oh, let's get that harmonica in his mouth, huh?

Let's do it. Let's— I probably have one lying around. Uh, I don't know where the violin thing came. Like, I, I was— thank you. You have that ready to go?

Yeah, anytime there's a bad joke.

Hey, where's that keyboard we were going to introduce?

I know we're going to—

Sean?

Yeah, we're going to—

I know, I'm too lazy to lift this up and go in there because they got to hook it all up. But wait, Charlie, do you still, uh, play violin? Do you still play these instruments?

No, I never play— I never played the violin. That's one of those—

that was not true.

No, I think I played the violin from like 3 to 3 in one month, you know, where my parents were like, well, this is too young.

Very accurate.

Yeah.

Is there an instrument that you excel at or that you stick with?

Keep it clean.

I don't, I don't excel at any of them, but I, I, I can play a little piano and a little guitar and That's good. You know, I can, I can write like a goofy song that we put on Sonny.

But then, but was that something that your parents like encouraged? Like, were you— did you take piano lessons, guitar lessons?

I took piano lessons maybe till I was 10, and then I switched to the trombone. I used to have a little sweatshirt because I was in the school band that said Charlie Trombone. So that like became my—

you know, the problem with the trombone is if you leave it in the rain, it gets rusty. You know, it's true, it's true. If you leave it in the rain, clean it out. Well, you keep it clean, you get kind of brass cleaner or something like that.

Charlie, when you, when you write and produce or direct or whatever you do, do you think about music when you're doing it, or is it an afterthought?

It's a big part of how I write something. I'll be just listening to, you know, a style of music, and I'll have an idea.

Mode.

Yeah, I'll be listening to Depeche Mode, and I'll be thinking, I got to do a movie with Bateman where he, you know, wears eyeshadow and trench coats.

You should see me, I got great goth skills.

Yeah.

Yeah, I do love— I do love Depeche Mode. Wait, Charlie, I know so little about— so it says that you were born in, uh, in New York, in the city. Yeah, true story.

True story, uh, because my parents, uh, my parents both met at Columbia where they were both music, uh, getting their doctorates in musicology. And then—

wait a second, wait a second, pump the brakes. So your parents— so you kind of blew brush through the whole music thing and your own involvement with music. Your parents have degrees in music from Columbia?

Yeah, yeah, my parents are very, uh, smart, smart, as is my sister. She also has her PhD in musicology. And what happened here was that, you know, I'm an idiot, and, and I was like, I gotta get away from this music thing. So, you know, I'm taking trombone lessons and all my buddies are outside playing baseball, and I eventually I, you know, walked away from it all and gave it up. But then when I got to, like, maybe a senior in high school or college, I picked up the guitar and I was like, "Oh, this is maybe— could be cool or a way to meet a girl." And then I got back into it. But I didn't want to be— they had no money, and I didn't want to be a music person.

Right.

So you became an actor.

So they're at Columbia. They're both taking— they're both in programs, music programs at Columbia. They meet. You're born in the city. And then what happens? How long did you live there?

Not long. And then my dad got a, um, a job at a college in Rhode Island, and my mother's family was from Rhode Island way back, uh, way, way back. And, uh, they went and never left. They're still there.

And so you grew up in Rhode Island?

I grew up in Rhode Island, yeah.

Yeah. How did the acting thing hit you? Was it like a high school drama thing?

That's a good question. I mean, I did plays like, uh like in 3rd and 4th grade and always enjoyed it. And then I wanted to do the school plays in high school, but I was kind of too nervous to join the group.

I thought, "Ah, I don't—" But with the musical background, wouldn't you think that you could combine the plays and the music and do what— Sean, what do we call that? The theater that's got— There's a music-based theater out there.

I'm not quite sure. I don't think there's a term for it yet.

Sean, is there a—

What would be an example of something that you might do in music?

5, 6, 7, 8. Ba-na-na-na-na-na.

You guys are gonna have to take that slide whistle away from them.

I mean, so then, Charlie, so then you finish high school and you say, um, I'm gonna go to New York City and I'm gonna try to become a professional guitar player or actor? Yes, I did have that thought.

I was like, well, do it.

Which one? I didn't know.

I was like, maybe I want to write music, or maybe I want to do, uh—

but you knew your future wasn't in Rhode Island, it was probably in Manhattan. Madden?

Yeah, well, first I went to college, Jason.

Where was that? Wait, hang on, what's college? Yeah, it's a school after, after the studio school. Voluntary additional school. I don't understand it. Yeah, that's the part I couldn't compute.

What trailer was that in on the Warner lot?

Yeah, one with a flat tire. Here's what happened.

I went to the voluntary additional school and they had a theater program, but they also had a baseball team. And I didn't make the baseball team, and I thought, "Oh, well, I'll go join the theater club." And then I just got hooked. I was like, "I like doing the plays." And it seems to—

Was this school in New York?

This school was in northern Massachusetts called Merrimack College. And you could get in if you had a pulse. And they let me in. And—

My favorite thing in the world is swapping horrible theater stories. Did I tell you guys about the wheelchair story?

You got a good one. Let's go. Yeah, let's go.

Okay, so just pull the interview over to the side. Hang on. Um, go.

No, really quick. This is a horror— I was in— I was a sophomore in high school, and I was in charge of changing the scenery, right? The battens that would lift the scenery. So in between, we had like— we were doing one act, so in between each act, we had like, you know, 15, 30 seconds to change the big huge scenery and pull them up. And I was in charge of all those hydraulics. So the stage manager points to me, she's like, go. And I didn't realize there was a rope there was a rope hanging on the side that somehow hooked onto the wheelchair that the guy needed in the next scene. This isn't a cartoon I saw.

No, I swear to God, this happened.

And I raised it, and the hook pulled the wheelchair up. So the curtain goes up, and the wheelchair is just swinging, hanging in midair. Oh, shit. And the guy's first line was, you know, something like, "I don't know if I'll ever walk again." But he had to—

It was awful. Oh, golly. Back to Smart List. Hey, Charlie.

So you're up there.

So you come down out of the junior college and you come to New York City, and you don't just knock on a door and say, "I'm here. I'd like to be an actor." Do you look in the paper for auditions or an agent, or what was your first step?

Yeah, I did all that crap. You know, you get the Village Voice and you're looking through all those things. I had a really lucky break when I was in college. There was a guy there named John Fusman, and he was like one of those guys who was like 35 and in college and—

Just hanging out just outside the school grounds, looking through the fence. Yeah.

And he had tipped me off to a place called the Williamstown Theater Festival. Sure. And I went there to sort of, you know, empty garbage cans and maybe say one line in a play and just intern. And they had, like, a program where you could audition and be part of a non-equity group. And after my first summer there, I was still in college. The next year, I auditioned, and I got to be part of that group. And—

A bunch of agents go up there, right? Yeah, yeah.

After my third year there, I got an agent. But—

Sean, did you ever do that? I'd love to do Williamstown.

Did you ever do that? I would love to. No. But I would love to. But, you know, Charlie, I was gonna ask you, Do you— like, there's— when we were all young, all 4 of us and other people like us that are actors, there was a definite path to what you wanted, right? You got your headshots, and then you had your resume on the back, and then you would submit them to agents, and then agents would— But now it seems so different. Do you have friends— like, does your sister have friends and be like, "Hey, Charlie, can you help my friend out? They want to get into the biz, and they need advice." I mean, do you ever get people coming to you, and what would that advice be? Now for kids rather than when we were growing up?

Weirdly, I don't get too much of that. I, I don't know if I don't give off a vibe of that I'll help, or I'm not sure why, but yeah. Do you feel—

no, but let me rephrase that. Do you feel shitty about yourself that nobody wants acting tips from you or career advice? I had that, Sean. You know, when I was a kid, this is a true story, when I was living in New York I was in New York, and I was at my— I didn't know anybody in New York. And somehow my mom knew, through somebody from Winnipeg, knew the actor Len Cariou. Do you know that guy? Do you remember Len Cariou? And so, somehow she's like, "You should call him." And I was like, "Okay." So, I called him. Poor guy. 'Cause now I sort of, 30 years later, I get that flip, which is like, he's like, "Hey, what can I do for you?" I'm like, "Well, I'm just in New York, and I'm going to theater school." Like, "Okay." "I'm ready to be successful." And I get now that position. I even felt it at the time where he's like, "I don't know what you want me to do for you, buddy, but I'm worried about my own day-to-day over here." And so you do get those calls sometimes from friends of friends, and they go, "Hey, our kid is 18 and he's moving to New York, and can you call him and give him some advice?" And there's really nothing you can say to anybody.

I actually like it. I actually don't mind it. Yeah, it's all about timing, but yeah, I actually like it.

What do you tell people? Because getting an agent, And like, you do have to get into kind of a showcase situation. It's just really tough for everybody.

I think you have to create your own path. You know, gone are the days of relying and waiting on phone calls and agents and all that to do it for you. You have to pick up a camera, you have to write the thing, direct the thing, act in the thing, put it on YouTube, all that kind of stuff, and Instagram. And so that's how— because every Instagram star wants to be an actor, and every actor wants to be like, have the most followers.

Well, Charlie, you guys were kind of like the first people to really do that in a way that has been not just successful but also had longevity. You guys created your own stuff. That was not the norm before you guys did that.

No, that's true. Yeah. Although, you know, in some ways, doesn't everybody do that?

I guess the Lonely Island guys did that too.

Yeah. But they were already part of an infrastructure there at Saturday Night Live.

No, no, no, no. Before those guys made videos and stuff when they did— Andy Samberg. Andy and Akiva and Jorm did that. Oh, really? Yeah. They made some videos at Lonely Island, then they They made a pilot called Awesometown that Phil Lord and Chris Miller produced. Have you ever seen that? It's really rad. But they did the same thing, which was— But again, that was around the same time that Sunny started. It was back in the—

What was unique about what we did is we did it for television where, you know, there was a lot of that in independent film. If you're the Coen brothers, you raise money, you do Blood Simple, and then and you go do Raising Arizona or whatever it is. And I guess we just took that model to television, and we said, "Well, we'll do the first one real cheap and down and dirty, and then hopefully someone gives us money to do this more legitimately." But going back to your question before, I often do promote Williamstown, which for me was like a showcase situation, or if you're really serious about acting, go to grad school, which I wish I'd done. But because that place was not only boot camp for acting, it was boot camp for— You better show up and shine. Because in that group, in that non-equity group, it was myself and Kathryn Hahn and Sterling Brown. And I mean, the competition was so fierce. And Jimmy Simpson. And these people were gonna outshine you. They weren't trying to outshine you, but they were gonna do their work, and they were gonna be, you know, they were gonna come to rehearsal, not set, and just blow it out of the water.

So you had to learn how to, I feel like my first summer there, I did well in some plays, and I thought the next year, I thought everyone would be like, "Well, he's the man. Let's give him everything." And it wasn't that way. You know, it was a rude awakening of like, "Well, you did that. What are you going to do now?" So that was such a good boot camp in terms of like, "Do your work, work hard, make sure you're not wasting anybody's time." It's funny you say that.

I remember having one of my acting teachers years ago, he was saying like, Look, all the process you do, all the work you do, whatever, when you show up on set, they don't give a shit. You gotta deliver in the moment, and that's it. And that was the only sort of piece of advice that I've ever given young people, which is just like, you gotta be on top of your shit. You gotta know your shit. Like you said, you gotta be ready to deliver in the moment because that's what matters. Yeah.

And it's a bit exhausting, right? You do— like, you put all this work into this, years go by, you— you develop whatever— fame, success— and you kind of think, "Okay, well, now I can coast." But, you know, the phone doesn't really ring. Maybe it does for DiCaprio, but for nobody else, like, you have to, like— you gotta put something together and you have to— and then when you are in it, you can't stink, right? You gotta shine.

Your son, is he too young to know that he wants to do what Dad does or—

Or Mom does, too.

Both of you guys are actors. Yeah, Mary Elizabeth has this great part in Paul Thomas Anderson's film right now. Oh, she's great in it.

That movie's amazing.

That guy, Paul Thomas Anderson. Yeah, talk about a guy. I think things are going to work out for him. I think he's gonna make it.

Great debut. He's gonna make it. Paul Thomas Anderson is the greatest director of all time. And go! And, and ignite! Right.

How about he's my favorite for sure? I know, me too. He's the greatest.

Oh, I, I got to go see a screening of, of that movie at his house, which, uh, no way. You know, he has has these— maybe he doesn't want me to tell, but he has like these, uh, film projectors. He's got like this barn that he's converted into like a screening room.

And for Tracy, the name of the movie is Licorice Pizza.

Licorice Pizza.

Licorice Pizza, which is the name of a record store that was all over the valley when I was growing up. Uh, it's, uh, anyway, uh, so he's got this cool—

that's why you're crying. So, so, and your wife, Emmy, uh, Elizabeth Ellis, whom I know. She and I did a pilot together years ago, as you know. Yes, yes. And she's a tremendously talented actor, and she's in Paul Thomas Anderson's movie Licorice Pizza. So you went to a screening at his house? Screening barn. Yeah, just to kind of—

Maya Rudolph is his wife. And then to get to hang out with Maya Rudolph. Who's our pal. I just didn't want to blow it for my wife.

I'm like, "Just keep cool, man, and don't get drunk and don't act dumb." Did you stand up with a bunch of notes at the end of it?

I had a couple notes, but he wasn't listening. You know? That's the problem with these artists. Yeah, we were locked. Pop Charlie Day in for a couple scenes. That's really gonna make this movie pop.

We'll be right back.

All right, back to the show.

Now listen, Charlie, for your new podcast, which I think is becoming really popular, isn't it?

Yes, it is.

Do you guys have guests on, or is it just you three chatting?

Right now, it's just us chatting. I mean, that kind of caught us off guard, you know? This was my gripe with McElhenney. About 2 years ago, I was like, "We should do a Sonny podcast. We should just talk about the show. The fans would probably want to hear that." that. And he's like, ah, everybody's doing podcasts, you know, like, you know, we're too late. Then this year he shows up, he goes, you know what we should do? A Sony podcast. Oh boy. I'm like, this shit.

I'm like, yeah, I know this guy.

But here's the difference, and here's why I've benefited so greatly from a partnership with Rob. When I said it, it was just gobbledygook talk. And when he said it, he already had the mics and the producer lined up and ready to go.

He's an action— he's an action— he's an action guy.

So I It's been good for me to unite with an action guy.

Being on that side of it, do you— and we all know this as actors promoting and marketing and all that stuff, having to do talk shows and whatever, podcasts or whatever the thing is— do you have a preference of being a guest or a host?

Well, I guess we're not really hosting anyone, so I don't know. I don't know.

Yeah, I mean, you're kind of hosting a podcast, but yeah, we're really just kind of shooting the shit.

Okay, people seem to want to listen to it.

But you're— I think that one of the things we're all talking about the same thing. We obviously have— there are a lot of similarities, which is you talk about we create our own weather, we do our own thing, and we do a lot of different things. You've got a— you're doing a podcast, you do your show, you've got this new movie on Amazon, uh, which was— that was a sexy, uh, segue.

That was a good segue. Yeah, so I did a rom-com finally. Yeah, saw me as rom-com.

So, so talk a little bit about— because I want to get into— you do do a lot of different stuff, and you've got a lot of different gears, uh, which is commendable. And you're obviously, you know, you're a talented guy. So you go and you do a rom-com. What was the— were you just like, yeah, fuck it, I could do a rom-com?

I was always dying to do a rom-com because I actually really enjoy them, um, and I sort of wanted to have my, uh, you know, Tom Hanks moment or Billy Crystal or whatever. And Um, was there a sex scene? No, there's, there's, you know, is there a kiss?

Hey, cool it. Hey, take it easy, man.

What are you imagining, Jason? What are you imagining?

Talk to what you're imagining. Well, because some people can go their whole careers or a large portion of it without ever doing a sex scene, and then all of a sudden the day shows up, it's like, oh my God, I've been in this business 30 years and I've never had to like fake lovemaking. Uh, did you have to do that? Uh, no, that's a good question.

No, I've—

have you ever had to do that?

Yeah, I have a I have a very graphic one on It's Always Sunny where we did a ski episode and we were making sort of fun of '80s ski movies and over-the-top sex scenes. So, you know— How'd that go?

Yeah, how'd it go? It was fine, you know?

You don't have to ask him in a whisper, Will.

Just say, "Walk us through it." Yeah, talk slow.

I mean, you know, it's always the case with me with the sex scenes. I always feel bad for the other person. I'm like, "Hey, look, I'm sorry." It's just me and this, you know, I'm pasty and—

Sean, you had to do one?

Yeah, there was this cult show which was fantastic called Campus Ladies with Carrie Azalea and Kristin Sussman. And Will Forte was on it and a bunch of funny people were on it. And Jonah Hill. That was Jonah Hill's first show. And I played somebody who wasn't the brightest who always wore a backpack. How'd you get into that character? Wow. Well, so I just put a backpack on and then I had to wear no clothes except the backpack. Back and have sex with— and literally have intercourse with Kristen Sussman.

Oh, oh, okay. How did that go, Jason?

Fine. Oh, sorry, go ahead, Sean, finish it. That was it. And Jason, what about your sex stuff?

I've got a loose connection. Can you guys hear me okay?

Yeah. Is that what you said in the sex scene?

I'm not— my wire keeps coming out.

And can you hear me? Yeah. And is it in?

I guess that's the big—

Hey, Charlie.

Wait, you didn't answer, Jason, if you've done a sex scene.

I have, and I don't like them. They're not good. It's just, you know, all the clichés are true. You know, you have a— There's a very difficult line one has to ride, which is, you know, if you're into it and you're being passionate convincingly, Things start to move, guys. And if they don't move, there's that classic saying that one of the actors said, "I apologize if I get aroused, and I apologize if I don't get aroused," or something like that. It's a concern.

Well, Bayman, we did this movie called Horrible Bosses. It was a massive global hit, Will.

Oh, you had a little sex scene with Aniston, right? That was the first scene.

Yeah, that was the first thing we shot.

Oh, wow.

And that was basically my second time meeting her. I met her at the read-through. It was like, "Okay, well, now take all your clothes off, and we'll take these provocative photos." But I only found it humiliating, you know, because I was like, "Oh, man, I should go to the gym." Or like— I was like, "I'm so sorry. I'm really pasty and doughy over here. And, you know, you're probably not used to an image like this in your sexual scenarios." I had to do a scene in Brother Solomon with Forte, where he comes to—

where we make up at the end of the movie, and I'm in the shower, and I come out, so I've just got the little sock on and then nothing else, and then I gotta turn, and he and I have to hug while I'm basically— Now, let's—

for Tracy, let's explain what the sock is. Go ahead, Will. It's basically that.

Like, it's a sock that you put over— It's a thing you put over your junk.

All your meats and cheeses get covered. Yeah, it's like a little coin purse that's got a couple of pieces of fishing wire on both sides that go around you as a thong. Yeah. Okay? Okay, but it's a nude— it's a nude colored, and it's made out of like pantyhose and with fishing string on it. So you can imagine it's just— it's not comfortable. It's not a good looking thing. And it's difficult at times to fill out. Will? And it's—

well, that was not an issue. It was more of an issue that like it was kind of the— like you said, like, I'm sorry if I get aroused and I'm sorry if I don't. And I just thought, boy, this could go either way with Forte. I have no idea.

Which way did it go?

I, I don't want to, I don't want to say it, but I just, I love the guy. Let me just say this, I love the guy, and you can tell.

Well, you've said plenty.

So Charlie, when— so talk— so you're doing this romantic comedy, you decide you want to do it, uh, what is the movie?

Uh, well, the movie's called I Want You Back, and it's with, uh, Jenny Slate and, uh, myself. She's pretty good. She's pretty good. Uh, our, our producing buddy John Ricard produced this movie.

Another mega talent.

Yeah, and, uh, we've worked together on Horrible bosses and fistfight. And I was talking to Jon, I was saying, you know, we should find something to do. And he says, he said, I got these two scripts and you should look at them. And he said, but one's a rom-com, so you probably don't want to do that. I said, why would I not want to do that?

Send me the rom-com. Nasty, nasty thing to say. Nasty thing to say.

And I loved it. We put it together. It's, it's a really sweet and funny movie. By the way, I did have to take my shirt off in it. And I had this sort of conundrum where the character doesn't work out, and then he starts working out in the story. And I thought, "Well, which body do I go with? Do I go with the guy who looks like he's not been working out or the guy that looks like he has been working out?" And I went with the guy who has not been working out. Yeah, it was—

Did you look at the shooting schedule to sort of plan out what kind of shape you'd be in? 'Cause I do that. I mean, for Tracy, these projects, they take at least 6 weeks to shoot, sometimes 12 or more. And if you know you got a topless scene on, as Will likes to call it, you know, you want to be ready. I want to make sure that you're not having a whole lot of soy sauce a few days out, you know.

No, I let that go. I, I was like, no, that's not, that's not what the audience wants from me. They don't, they don't want me to pop that shirt off and have rippling abs. They don't want— they'll be disturbed if they see it.

There's nothing funny about a six-pack.

There's nothing funny about it, and this is a comedy.

So, uh, Charlie, any, um, any recent vacays, as we call it in the biz? Any, any vacays with the I went to Hawaii. Okay, I knew that.

I knew that because you sent us a shot of that beautiful—

you sent that pic in our little chain.

Oh yeah, I did, I did.

That's right. So you went to Hawaii. Did you go by yourself or did you bring your wife?

No, of course I brought my wife and child, and, uh, and I played a bunch of golf and we hung out and relaxed and went to the beach and, and I reset. It was good. I was coming right off a bunch of things and it was nice to take a break.

Charlie, 2022, what are you most excited about?

Oh man, uh, I don't know. I'm, I'm always pretty just excited to be doing this. I mean, I don't know, I'm still grateful to be doing it. Yeah, I've been, uh, polishing up a movie for a good 4 years that I directed that Bateman was kind enough to be in.

Yeah, when do we get to see that, Charlie?

Uh, any minute. I'm right around the corner. But, uh, I, I was going to sell it. I was in the process of selling it to a studio and I was having some conversations with a very talented man, Mr. Guillermo del Toro, and I had a change of heart, and I took the movie and I reshot about 20% of it.

Am I still in it? You're still in it.

You made the cut. Um, that's been a maddening long experience, but, uh, I'm really happy with the movie, so hopefully I'll get it out to the world this year. I'm excited about that. I'm excited about this rom-com. I'm excited about maybe getting some golf in with the boys here, you know.

That's good. And Horrible Bosses 3, I think we announce.

Well, now why didn't we do it, you know?

Well, because, um, no one wanted it. Yeah, because Horrible Bosses 2, uh, just basically, uh, you know, cratered.

Did it, did it shit the bed?

By today's standards, it's a huge hit.

Oh, that's true. Yeah, it didn't do as well as—

you mean by pandemic standards? Yeah, that's right. By the standards of— by the standards of everybody staying home and not going into theaters.

Well, I would like the third one because I really, really like to collect those sets.

Yeah. Oh yeah, things do happen in 3. Maybe we just make it for a price, you know? But it did turn out people just didn't give a shit about a second one, so they're really not going to want a third.

It's not really a story that needed a sequel.

Hear me out, Sean. Horrible Bosses 3, but there are 2 new Sean, right? 2 new guys who look— they're kind of— they just go, ah, they're having that. My boss is terrible. Hey, my boss is bad too.

Are you a boss or you're an You're an employee.

Exactly. But the catchphrase is, "My boss is bad 3." Yeah. Same here.

I get it, Sean. I get it.

So, Charlie, listen, you're just— You're such a talent. You're such a good guy. You're a theater major.

You're a musician. You have a great marriage. Charming little kid.

Your new movie, I Want You Back, your rom-com, is out.

I can't wait to see it.

And it's on Amazon now.

It's really good.

I actually love this movie a lot. Charlie, Charlie, I love you.

Charlie, thank you for being here.

Um, we see you, uh, on the golf course probably in the next few days.

Well, you're teeing off in about, what, 10 minutes?

This is already 6 minutes into my heart out.

Yeah, okay, he's got a heart.

That shows how much he loves you. He never does this if he's got a heart out for golf. I appreciate the 6 minutes over. That's good. You know how persnickety Jason is about everything. My range time.

So I need my range time.

Yeah, well, we can come back. I can come back. We'll finish this off at the—

and next time you're on the podcast, we'll talk about the time, uh, when we were coming down 18 and the guy had charged, uh, Jason's, uh, Tesla. We'll save that.

And I had a 2-hour drive ahead of me. He did really well.

You made him give him his, uh, my $20 back.

And then wait, we never—

I gave him $20 just because I felt bad he got yelled at so much.

Jason, you don't know this, but Charlie and I both, uh, tipped the guy after you took the tip.

Are you kidding me?

No. Yeah, yeah, yeah, well, we felt bad. Well, we didn't want them to write a story like, fucking Jason bought me—

you were his hero. He fucked me good. At least $20. I should have taken more out of his pocket, son of a bitch.

I will say, to your credit, you did preemptively tip the guy and say, hey, do you mind taking care of this? He said, great, and then he didn't do it, right?

So it's like, well, I'm going to pay you for the valet parking, but the extra juice for doing me a solid, which you didn't do. Yeah, that then means that you no longer need the money for that.

Let me ask you this: if you had shot like even par that day, like your best round ever, do you think you wouldn't have cared? Do you think you would have—

would have given him a ride wherever he wanted to go and all the money in my pocket?

And that is Jason Bateman, guys. We'll be right back with an all-new episode of Smartless. He loves his golf. He loves his golf.

Um, Charlie, um, enjoy the rest of your Uh, great to see your faces, fellas. Sean, let's hang out sometime. I don't know, I'm right here just for you.

Not worth it, Charlie. No, no, it's got to be better.

Bring the slide whistle.

Next 2 weeks, Texas, let's get out.

Okay, um, I'm busy, but you know, we'll see. Yeah, okay.

All right, all right, all right, all right.

He's about to— No, I'm a laptop. He's gonna do the— he's gonna do the good out.

Well, you know why? Because, because, you know, I'll tell you why I wasn't gonna do it. Because Sean Penn did it, and then I remember I was listening to that, I was like, wow, Sean Penn did it.

That's how I'm— that's the way I think I've done it every— ever since then I was like, that's right, just slams it down. Slam it down. Down. Yeah, that's how you do it.

So I'm gonna slam it down.

Bye-bye. Oh, look, he really did.

That Charlie Day is— he's always a breath of fresh air, isn't it? Every time you see him, you feel better.

He's like a— we could change his middle name to Sunny, right? So just Charlie Sunny Day.

Yeah, always a sunny day. Yeah. And Charlie— so Sean, you don't know Charlie?

You've never met him personally? I never met him.

I did that one voiceover, Monsters University, uh, with him. But of course, you know, as you know, uh, when you do animated films, you don't really see the other actor because you're doing it. What? Yeah. So I never really met him before, and— but I'm a huge fan. And, and I don't know if you've seen Monsters University, but he steals— he steals the movie.

He's hilarious. Yeah, of course. First of all, if you've got— if you're a fan of comedy or you're a fan of animation or you, or you've got kids, you've seen Monsters University. It's a great movie, and he is great in it. And, and you are, but he is— but, um, no, it's a great movie. And, uh, he is such a— I met him the first time was through his wife, through Emmy, Mary Elizabeth Ellis, who's such a talent and so cool. And he's a super nice guy, super real. He joked about being down to earth. He legitimately is. And then you go, and then he's incredibly talented. Yeah, I love him. And prolific writer in just everything. And he's so funny. He's so naturally funny.

You guys both have very unique voices.

Yes. Yeah, he's got a very unique voice. I don't know if I would consider myself to, but he does.

Wait, nobody ever bites for my theater stories because I— Huh. Number one.

So why don't we save it for a podcast no one wants to listen to?

Okay. What's funny is that you don't take from that I'm like, maybe I should stop asking.

I'm telling you—

Your takeaway is nobody bites.

No, I'm telling you, somebody's gonna come with a really funny theater story. I think they're always so funny.

I like that usually your question about funny theater stories ends up with you telling a funny theater story. I know.

It's just— it's a self-setup.

Jason, you missed Sean the other day. Robert and I kept pimping him out to tell funny stories for everybody at dinner. Funny theater stories. So he kept— funny theater stories. And he kept getting up and telling these hilarious— they were legitimately hilarious. He got so worked up he had to go to the hospital. I did. That's a true story. It's a true story. So all of a sudden Jen comes, she goes, Sean just went to the hospital. I'm like, what?

You know, next time I bring up a theater story, maybe someone will bite, bite, bite.

Oh, bite. Yes, got it. Got it. Yeah, no, that works. That qualifies. Love you guys.

Bye. Love you, baby. Smartless. Smartless is 100% organic and artisanally handcrafted by Rob Armjarv, Bennett Barbaco, and Michael Granteri. Smartless.