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We also have AWL Chris Goderup, professional golfer, in studio getting ready for the Presidents Cup, which is coming up next week. USA, we got to win this thing. But Chris was the absolute man, listens to the show. Awesome dude. Talked golf, talked football, talked everything with him. And then we finish with Fyre Fest as usual. It is all brought to you by our friends at Chevy. Football season is here, and whether you're grinding through the week or gearing up for kickoff, there's one ride that's always game ready. It's the Chevy Silverado. There's a reason Chevy is called the heartbeat of America, and Silverado keeps that heartbeat strong. Whether you're towing, hauling, or tailgating, Silverado lets you show up strong and tackle any task with best-in-class standard torque. The most functional bed and the advanced tech that's Football Guy approved. Check out current offers on the 2026 Chevy Silverado at chevy.com. Go check it out today. We love Chevy. The 2026 Silverado ready to go at chevy.com. Okay, let's go. Hey, Football Guy, but you know, AWS.
Yeah, part of my take. Yeah, part of my take.
Yeah, part of my take. Welcome to Part of My Take presented by DraftKings. The crown is yours. Today is Friday, September 18th, and no one circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills. The Buffalo Bills opened their new stadium, dropped 40 points. Uh, their offense looked incredible. DJ Moore gets hurt and it's still— Josh Allen is— and I know that, you know, we're a Josh Allen podcast. People, people sometimes get upset about how much we glaze him. I don't think we glaze him enough because he's playing quarterback on easy mode. It looks like that for him. Like the flick of the wrist, the, the runs, everything. It just all— it looks like the game has slowed down for him. I know the Lions defense is not very good.
They were—
they had 86 snaps on Sunday. They had a short rest. I get it. But he's in just total control of the game.
I think there's obviously a lot of really good quarterbacks in the league right now. Lamar Jackson, Patrick Mahomes. I think I— the Buffalo Bills are the only fan base that I actually get jealous of. when I watch Josh Allen play.
He's just so good.
I'm like, I would love to be able to root for this guy every week. How much joy do you get from watching him? Even as a guy that's not a Bills fan, it's like, it's incredible to watch him play. He does it all. He's exciting. He's got the rocket arm. The wrist is still like very much alive.
Yeah.
He'll flick the wrist, the ball goes 30 yards. And then just the way that he runs and puts it all on the line. Like, I'm jealous of Bills fans that they get to root for this guy.
I actually think maybe the best play that, uh, that, that wasn't even, you know, a touchdown, or Josh Allen running for a touchdown, or throwing for a touchdown. Aiden Hutchinson is a big fucking guy, a strong guy. Josh Allen had him on his back and was able to get the ball out. Like, he— that's the thing with— he's just so big and strong. And yeah, we're glazing right now, but the Bills offense— Yeah, for sure. I, I don't know about their defense, uh, but the Bills offense— and obviously they, they had Ed Oliver go out before the game. But their offense with Joe Brady, the chunk plays are there. They're taking shots like constantly. DJ Moore injury is going to be a problem because I do think that he was, uh, if you watched like last week, he adds that element to the offense that had been missing with that deep threat. But they're 2-0. They get a little extra rest here. And the stadium, like, it was perfect that Josh Allen opened the stadium with the first touchdown. He has, uh, they said the stat I said on Monday, Al Michaels did. Josh Allen now has 10 games where he's ran for 2 touchdowns and thrown for at least 2 touchdowns.
And the only other person close is Steve Young with 4, 4 of those.
Yeah.
So that just puts into perspective how good Josh Allen has been. As for the Lions, their defense is— again, I do grade it on a curve. 86 snaps to 3 days rest. to playing on the road is an impossible task.
They spent all day Sunday chasing Chuck around.
Yeah.
Chasing his balls around.
But they didn't— they, they had no chance in this game. They did— they looked very overmatched. And I think if you're the, the Lions fan, it's the offense again was kind of slow to get started, and they have all the firepower. I know they also had injuries on the offensive line. I don't know.
I think they had 3 out of 5 offensive linemen that were out. So that is, that, that is a big deal.
Yeah.
No, no, the Lions like did This is a game that, you know, you don't want to lose any game. But if you look at it, you're like, okay, with everything stacked against them and the Bills, the way they're playing, opening a new stadium, like the energy, the vibes, everything. I don't know what their offensive coordinator Petzing is doing though on these 2nd and 10 runs. I feel like it happened like 3 or 4 times tonight where it was 2nd and 10 and he's like, you know what, let's just run the ball and like almost guarantee that we're going to be in a 3rd and long.
Because he's thinking to himself, well, we're going to go for it on 4th down so I can, I can just dick around on 2nd down and 3rd down. Yeah. And it'll be fine.
Yeah.
There was no urgency from the Lions. It felt like on multiple drives in the 2nd half where they were content to— yeah, you're right, run the ball on 2nd down and just take a bunch of time off the clock.
They had— all right. So they had 4 2nd and 10s in the 2nd half. The plays went 2nd and 10, 1st and 10, Gibbs run for 0 yards. 2nd and 10, Gibbs run for 0 yards. 2nd and 10, Gibbs run for 2 yards. 2nd and 10, Goff pass for 34 yards.
I don't know.
It's just like, these guys are obviously way smarter than us, but I just couldn't keep watching another 2nd and 10 run for no yards right up the middle.
You think he's smarter than us? He's got a big head.
I don't know. Maybe not.
Petzing's got that, it's like a flesh-colored guardian cap on his skull. That thing is a monster dome. We should show some respect to, to the Bills and their new stadium and their new buffalo.
Yeah.
Their new bison that they, they unveiled Bruce, the baby bison who I guess lives in a zoo cage outside the stadium.
So sick.
I—
we need more live animal mascots in the NFL.
Yeah.
And I think they brought it in obviously to open up the stadium. You know that Dan Campbell walked past and was like, I asked for a fucking lion 3 years ago. Right. And they said no. And they get to have a buffalo.
Yeah, this bullshit's sick.
It is.
It's awesome.
Don't get me wrong. I like it. But you know, yeah, give Dan that, that line.
But yeah, it was another story of like, if you look at like Amon-Ra and Gibbs and Goff, like they all had good numbers. But the problem was, if you watch the game, it was another slow start. The Bills' first 4 possessions of the game were touchdowns. The Lions' first 4 possessions of the game were 3 punts and a touchdown. They were— it just felt like they were fighting an uphill battle basically from the beginning. Like it was almost instant that it was a 14-nothing game and you're like, okay, well, what do you do now?
I actually thought that the Lions played really well to even come back and make it a 10-point game because it felt like it was an ass-kicking for most of it. It felt lopsided.
Yeah, the score isn't indicative of how— because like the last Amon-Ra touchdown, you know, it was a 41-24 game. They score with like 2 minutes left. Credit to them for not giving up. But yeah, it was, it was more of an ass kicking than the final score looks.
So hopefully they can get Brian Branch and Kirby Joseph back soon because the defense will be a lot better in Detroit with those 2 guys.
I saw Lions fans saying like, like they need a disaster draft on defense. If like the plane went, they were like, yeah, well, like that's our only way out of getting a good defense is we need the disaster draft where you get to steal players from other teams. Yeah. I don't know.
Branch is like legit good.
Yeah.
He's a, he's a very good player.
Do you see Aiden Hutchinson ran a A mile and a half of game— in gameplay today.
That's too—
that's insane. Yeah, that's an insane stat, Hank. Uh, through 2 games, the Bills look really good.
Really, really good. The Bills and the Chiefs look really, really good.
They're like— do you, do you agree with me? Like, Josh Allen looks like he's playing on easy mode.
Yeah.
Oh yeah, it's, it's, uh, yeah, they're due.
I mean, they're, they're Oh, they're due.
Okay.
For what?
To make a Super Bowl.
Yeah. I mean, nobody's really due.
If anyone's due, the Bills are due.
Yeah. The Bills.
Bills and Ravens.
Yeah.
I mean, the Lions too.
Yeah.
Are you saying due historically or just due like in the most recent history of being close? Or both, I guess.
The Bills with Josh Allen.
The Bills would hit both.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They would check both those boxes.
We were having a debate the other day of whether or not football would be better if there were no such thing as kickers at all. And you could make the argument—
You stand on that.
I understand the case. I do. But then I think that there's no, like, more dramatic part of the game than when a little nerdy guy runs out onto the field to kick a field goal with no time left. And you all, you know, you sit there and you watch the ball. Is it going in? Is it not? That's like— that's a magical moment as a fan. But You can make the argument that the Buffalo Bills would have like 3 or 4 Super Bowls if kickers weren't a thing.
Yeah.
In football.
Yeah.
You can make the argument that the Patriots might not have had the start of that dynasty if it wasn't for kickers.
Yeah.
Kickers change everything.
They change everything.
Kickers have an imprint on the, on the National Football League.
They do.
Speaking of the National Football League, shout out our guy Joe Buck, $108 million contract.
Nice work, Joe.
Nice cashola.
He's going to show up with the thickest head of hair.
I think we're owed something.
Maybe he should write a chapter in our book.
Yeah, maybe he'll come in next week when he's in town for Monday Night Football. Just, you know, wet the beak. Just, just wouldn't it? I'll just say this. Wouldn't it be kind of cool if Joe Buck showed up to the office and he was just peeling off hundreds to everyone? Yeah, that would be a really cool move.
Yeah.
Not. Yeah, I think that would make him a really cool guy.
Joe Buck is as good of an announcer as anybody in the National Football League.
Yeah.
If I—
$108 million contract, I would definitely just be like walking around. Here you go. Here you go.
Yeah.
Making it rain.
Money's not a real thing anymore.
Joe, we can get it set up. You can make it rain from the second floor of our office. We'll do a little cash grab.
It doesn't even have to be big bills. No, it could be— let's do fives.
Yeah. Do a million in fives.
Yeah.
And just throw it around.
Some people get hurt.
Oh, I'm happy for him, though. He is the best. I— he's, he's, he's the big game voice.
What do you mean, Max?
Max saying he'd hurt some people.
If, if there was the entire office fighting for $1 million in cash.
Yeah.
I think that there would be some punches thrown to get some of that cash.
Who do you think would be throwing punches?
Max?
Memes?
I don't understand what, what is so—
I agree with you. What I'm saying, there would be some— there would absolutely be some physical violence.
It's £450 of cash.
It's a good amount. I'd pull out my hypothetical taser from my desk.
Oh, it's hypothetical.
Yeah.
Huh.
Interesting.
Jared would make a hypothetical, hypothetical trip to the trunk of his car.
No, it's not the trunk. He keeps that in the fucking— in the center console.
Yep.
All right.
Anything else? We got a whole show, picks and preview.
What do you think about Joe Brady's necklace?
I don't— I said it. I felt like I was turning into Colin Cowherd when I was like, that's not coach-like.
I kind of like it. I feel like it's— it gives him some power.
Yeah.
No, I like authority.
I, as the words came out of my mouth, like, what are you saying right now? Why are you saying this? Like, who cares if he's wearing a necklace? But yeah, he's got the— he's got the bling on. Joe Brady is—
Mike McCarthy's been necklace for a long time.
It's true.
No, dude, he lost weight.
Yeah, he does look good.
Black uniform.
What do you think Sean McDermott is watching this offense being like?
Fuck. Yeah, he's probably—
all these times Joe Brady told me we need more chunk plays. I said, no, we got to run the ball. We got to matriculate the ball.
I think he's looking at being like, this is kind of candy ass. Yeah, it's candy ass.
Can't win like this.
Scoring too many points. Not sustainable.
Yeah.
Can't win like this in December and January. All right. Picks and preview. Chris Gotterup, Firefest. Okay. Before we get to picks and preview, Football is back and no game day spread is complete without the great taste of Pepsi. Oh, zero sugar. You spend all week thinking about the wings, nachos, or burgers that you're going to dig into at kickoff, but are you pairing it with the right drink? I am. I'm pairing it with a Pepsi. A slice of pizza, a slice of cheese pizza and a Pepsi is heaven on earth. That's a fact.
You know what I had last night? I had tacos and I ordered a Pepsi with it.
I love that.
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I don't know if Week 2 can hold up to Week 1.
I agree.
It was awesome.
Week 1 was awesome.
Points ever.
Yeah.
Of course, it was the year that I was like, hey, you know what, I'll be smart. I'm going to bet all the unders.
Yeah. So this is our head offense this time of year.
Yeah. The, the week 2, it's, it's, it's basically the week where you say to yourself, were my overreactions correct or were they simply overreactions? A team that, that sucks or you think sucks, do they suck as bad as you think? Or is it something like, oh, you know what, everyone can have one bad week. Remember the What was the game a few years ago when the Cardinals beat the Titans by like 100?
Yeah.
Remember that Week 1 game? There's always one of those. Oh, the Saints beat the Packers. Remember that game? I believe it was— they beat them by like— I think they played in a different stadium than New Orleans and they beat them by a shitload. And like, you have those weird games and then you got to kind of reassess in Week 2 and say, holy shit, is this— is this actually how bad this team is or is this actually how good this team is? And then bet off of one data point.
There's going to be— there's going to be some frauds. We're going to look back at the end of the season and be like, hey, remember we thought this team was good? And it's going to be a nice little trip down memory lane. And we'll think, oh yeah, we were so dumb back then.
I got a trend that is a yucky trend. It's a hold your nose trend. It's basically the overreaction trend of the week. Teams that failed to cover the spread in Week 1 and enter Week 2 as underdogs have gone 26-11-2 against the spread since 2014, 70%. The teams that are active for this are the Lions, the Falcons, the Titans, the Browns, the Dolphins, and Colts. Gross. It's a hold your nose.
One of those. Yeah.
It's a hungry dog. One of those teams is going to be not as bad as we thought. And one of those teams might win this week.
That might actually win straight up this week. I heard it was either Prisco. I think it was Prisco that said this week that between weeks 1 and 2, that's when you see teams make their biggest improvements. Like the teams that are going to end up being good at the end of the year.
Yeah.
Weeks 1 to 2. Because if you, if you got a good locker room and you shit the bed in week 1, ideally you'd have a few captains being like, hey, we got to cut this shit out now.
Right?
Like the Broncos.
Shock you.
What's going on in the Broncos locker room right now? They're basically going to say to themselves, hey, are we this team or are we actually a good team?
Bo Nix is going to be like, listen, I'm not new to this. I'm true to this. I've had some bad starts before. We can pull out of it.
Yeah. Okay. Let's get into it. You guys ready? Hank? Yeah. Steelers-Patriots main TV for you and Jerry right off the bat.
Love that.
I mean, I think it's either that or Bengals-Texans. But you, you and Jerry, Jerry said he wants to shove it down your throat. He wants to, to buttfuck you. He wants to beat you every single way. So I think it has to be you two on the main couch on the main TV.
Agreed.
How are you feeling going into this game?
I'm feeling good. I've gotten over, you know, week 1 feels like a year ago because we played on Wednesday. And I feel like it's going to be a good bounce back for us. We're not going to go against, you know, the greatest defense of all time in the last 2 years.
Steelers do have a good defense.
Steelers do have a good defense. I think the Patriots have played the Steelers where they're 3-point favorites or more 7 times and they're 7-0.
Okay. Good stat.
I saw a lot of graphs. I'm back on my graph talk.
What graphs?
It was like the— let me pull it up.
Like we're talking graphs with Drake Maye's face top to the right.
How each QB's charted bad throws compares to how many interceptions they actually threw. So, and it just, Drake Mayes, he threw, obviously he has the highest interception rate tied with Cooper Rush, but they weren't, it was their clean throws, bad luck.
Okay.
That's the graph.
Wait. So the, the 3 picks that he had in the 4th quarter, those are bad luck interceptions?
Clean throws, bad luck.
The last one was not.
I don't know about that.
I think the last one was definitely not.
Yeah. The last one was a bad, bad interception.
So he seemed like he's, he's got a lot of turnover. He's got a lot of bad turnover luck right now, which you can count on to regress.
Yes.
Okay. who like leads the league in good turnover luck for the last 2 years and it's not even close?
Who?
Matt Stafford.
Oh.
Matt Stafford has, I think the last 2 years he's been by, you know, whatever, whoever's in charge of saying like, oh, that's a lucky drop or like that's a, that's a bad luck interception. Whoever's in charge of it has put the numbers together and he's been like twice as lucky. It's like the 2 most lucky seasons in NFL history, which tells me maybe it's not actually entirely luck that he did it twice in a row.
Well, this has all been like heavy discourse this week with PFF under, under scrutiny. Scrutiny for their grading system.
Yeah, I mean, that's it. I love that time of year when everyone's like, yeah, it's important to have like a boogeyman that operates behind the curtain. Yeah, that you can get mad at for issuing your team bad grades.
Chris Collinsworth actually came out and did like a podcast with, uh, uh, Jack Collinsworth. I don't know if there's any relation. And they— he explained the grading system. I still don't really understand.
It's like a guy, right? Well, yeah, at the end of the day, it's a bunch of guys. Yeah, sit down.
Negative and positive.
Yeah.
And the big thing with the Caleb grade was that they gave him a triple negative for a play that didn't count because there was a flag.
I love that.
He threw an interception, but there was a flag.
The worst play that never counted. Yeah, I love it. Hank, so did you find the graphs?
Yeah, I sent the graph.
Oh, you sent the graph?
Yeah.
Okay, let's see the graph.
Let's take a look at this graph here.
Let me see this graph.
Where—
how did you send this?
He sent it in the text. He texted it. Uh, while you look for it, Max, uh, Mike McCarthy was 87 degrees on Wednesday in Pittsburgh. He was in full pants and long sleeves, all black. Again, I think this guy's lost some weight. I think he's probably just shy to show us how much weight he's lost. Yeah, he's just a little, you know, like he's a little gun-shy and showing his new bod.
Yep.
He's not, he's not a mincy type to brag about losing £30 in a month.
I mean, some guys have a bod, some guys don't. You see Belichick this week?
Yeah.
Should we talk about that?
What a bod.
Cannon on Bill. I mean, I thought it was fake.
I think this is a, this is a classic Belichick move, if you ask me.
So our, our good friend Nick Turani has a hypothesis on this. He thinks that Belichick's trying to smoke out his yes-men. He's like, how big can I get my tits on a day-to-day basis before someone says, hey, hey, coach, nice tits?
And it hasn't happened yet.
I don't think it's happened.
My theory is a little bit different. My theory is that he's grown.
I don't think— well, that's the thing with Belichick. He's just such an alpha. He's got so much power. Like, you guys, you know, you're sitting at your desk right now. We interviewed him for Grit Week. Yeah. If he pulled up an interview in that sweatshirt, you would not mention his tits.
No, but I would need to sit behind the desk because I have such a boner.
Yeah, but that's what I'm like. Like, your point is probably true, but no one like— yeah, no, no one is gonna be like, hey coach, nice tits.
I think that's what he's doing though. He's trying to find the first guy to be like, hey, nice tits. And he's like, all right, you get the keys to my kingdom. You are— you're the heir apparent to the Belichick throne.
I think it's a couple things. One, the, uh, the UNC football program, not the best headlines in the news this week.
Uh-huh.
What better way to distract from those headlines than just showing up with a pair of tits?
Honkers.
Like just completely owning the narrative.
Yeah.
Right.
I also think—
Tits are hot. He probably saw the Sydney Sweeney ad and is like, oh, this is getting— this is what the buzz is about. Let me get in on this, these titties action.
Yeah.
I mean, I immediately saw him. I said, what are the 2 things that we universally agree on as a country? We love football. We love tits. Belichick's like, why don't I do it all? I'm a one-stop shop for it all.
And he did do it all.
He did it all.
And also, it makes me want to tune into the game on Saturday.
Yeah.
Like, do you talk about a ratings driver? Coach Bill Belichick is going to be on the side. He's always been a 3D chess guy. Now he's a 3D chest guy. Mm-hmm.
I do think there's a part of him that is maybe new to his breasts a little bit, and he doesn't know the appropriate things to wear on camera. Like, if you see Max and I on camera, we're constantly pulling at our shirt, you know, doing this. So he doesn't know, like, oh, now that I got a new set, like, I should probably be coming to this interview in, like, a nice halter top or something. Really showable.
He looked a little bit like Kristi Noem's husband.
Sam Pittman's still the GOAT. Sam Pittman.
I think that Sam Pittman is actually stronger than Bill because I can give Bill some grace.
That's what I'm saying.
Like, in terms of him, his posture. Yeah, he was, like, kind of, like, laying back, arms crossed sometimes. Kind of like, you know, perking them up a little bit. Sam Pittman, that's just all natural.
No, they're— and they don't— Sam Pittman is— I know he's not coaching anymore, but he's a man in his 60s and gravity seemingly hasn't taken over yet. So shout out, shout out to him. He's— his tits had the boys barking.
Mm-hmm.
Okay, back to the game.
Back to the game.
Walk me through this graph.
So on the left, it's clean throws, bad luck. Drake Maye's at the top of that. On the right, it's risky decisions, basically playing for it, just, just gambling.
Paying for it.
Paying for it.
So that's the interceptions that do get caught.
Yep. And Stafford's kind of, to your point, PFTs, he's towards like on the, on the top end of that. Jordan Love is the highest.
What's that name up there on the right side?
Cooper Rush. Oh, Cooper Rush.
Okay.
So he had a pretty good game.
Yeah. I did actually see a stat that said based on EPA per play last week, Stafford was the 2nd to worst quarterback. Cooper Rush was the worst.
Interesting. And Drake Maye, I mean, again, it's like, it's—
he didn't have—
he wasn't, he wasn't throwing long passes, but he had the 3rd best on-target percentage.
If you're watching that and you expected it to— it matters what quarterback it is.
Yeah.
When Cooper Rush is dropping back, I don't expect him to add any points.
Anything over 0 is, is like, that's incredible.
I'd say like a perfect score for Cooper is 0 points.
3, maybe 3.
3 points.
That's what I expect. 3 points. I expect 3 points.
Perfect game.
What were you saying, Hank? About this graph that you like found that you're, you're living and dying by?
Not living and dying by. I just, it's graph talk. We talked a lot about graphs. I'm a graph guy when it, when it favors Drake Maye.
Have you seen some of like the throws that he didn't make though?
No. Is this like a Mark Wahlberg situation?
No, no, no. I'm saying like, that's also a thing that people evaluate is if you miss an open guy, if you don't look at an open guy. I did not, because there was a video that was going around.
PFT sent Max a video.
Yeah.
This is just film talk. So we're doing graph talk and film talk. Oh, that's a—
I mean, the safety's right there.
Yeah. Well, there's more. So here's another one.
This is a great podcast.
This is a bad podcast.
I mean, that's her sound in the fucking Super Bowl. He's getting like he's he's throwing the ball quickly. Like, he got murdered in the Super Bowl.
No, this isn't the Super Bowl.
I'm saying in the Super Bowl, he got murdered by holding on to the ball. So it's like, yeah, there was a guy down deep. He threw the ball like short because he didn't want to get killed.
So there's AJ Brown, and he's got about 30 yards of daylight in front of him minimum. That's his open—
That was a miss.
Drake doesn't see him. Bad neck discipline.
This guy needs to blow his nose.
What is this?
He's, he's literally getting hit as he threw that ball.
And then we saw—
is he announcing from inside a microwave?
I don't know. I just— it's a good tape breakdown. I didn't listen to that.
They're in Jupiter formation.
You just told me to put—
no, no, I'm not saying listen to you. I'm saying it does provide context.
As open as you'll see any football player at any level.
The Tailback Podcast.
All these throws, like, yeah, he's pointing out open receivers. He's not pointing out the fact that he's about to get sacked. Look, look, look, one sec.
Like, okay, wide open, like 60 yards of daylight in front of him.
This is actually the new frontier of, of film and just yell at each other during it.
Patriots typically run high red zone. Sometimes they break it out inside their own 10.
Okay, turn this guy off. I can't listen to this guy.
I think he's making a lot of good points.
I just can't listen to the voice.
He sounds—
what is that? He's talking through a tin can.
I think his name— what's his name? It's not Neil. It's, uh, shout out to Glenn.
Glenn. Shout out Glenn.
Uh, and it's old Tape Scout.
How about this? Hey, Drake Maye's last 5 games, 7 touchdowns, 7 interceptions, 1,000 passing yards, sacked 24 times. Yeah. Oh, that was you talking, PFT? What, you, you edited? No, you made this tape? No, what are you talking about?
Wait, what?
Who posted the, uh—
I thought it was an interesting video.
Oh, Glenn. Okay, Glenn. It's Glenn Tape Scout. Got it.
It is.
Wait, play it again. No, just from, from there.
Yeah, keep it going because there's actually like—
I wasn't familiar with NFL Tape Watch. Yeah.
Great release here, and Mack Hollins is as open as—
Look, I mean, that's 60 yards.
So he edited— you edited your—
It's so good.
It's not me, it's Glenn. Follow NFL Tape Scout.
Oh, and if he catches this ball—
Well, Max, you can't text me things.
Max, that's kind of his catchphrase. Wait, go back and play that again. That's kind of his catchphrase when you miss.
The Patriots typically run high-res.
When you miss a guy and like, if that was a pass, sometimes he would have caught it, and then he's still He's still running. That's kind of his catchphrase.
So Max texted me and then said at the end of the text, don't read any of this out loud.
No, that was—
no, no, no, that's—
that is incorrect. I said don't say this out loud and then said one more thing.
Oh, the thing you don't want me to say out loud.
Yeah. So I told you not to say that thing out loud and you didn't.
I didn't. Again, I want to.
Again, I—
It's a great— it's a great little nugget.
Yeah.
Again, I have no idea who NFL Tape Watch is, Glenn, but he does good work. But no, he's got a good catchphrase. He's still running.
It's kind of funny.
If you miss a wide open guy, he's still running. If he catches that ball, you know how it goes.
I wonder if Hank can figure out the caveat. There's no way.
There's no caveat.
I'm actually a lot— I'm a lot happier too that I like— I was so taken aback by this guy's voice and how awful it sounded. I was like, at the end of the day, I was going to feel bad that it was like some nerd who watches film. No, it's PFT editing.
No, no, he's a good follower.
Sorry, Glenn, Glenn, Glenn, Glenn.
Play this because there's actually some crazy wide open guys.
I love that. Great play action from Drake. Again, another really good play call.
Oh, that one's horrible.
And that's one of the interceptions there.
There we go. Mack Hollins again. There's no more open than Mack Hollins. There's a great job of him. Seahawks play a really interesting blend of man and zone. You gotta know when to sit. Mack knew when to sit. Drake, you gotta find him. You gotta make that throw. If he catches it, he's still running.
Hank, where, where on the, where on the level of PFT's obsession with you would you rank this.
It's only gotten worse.
Like, it doesn't even know.
I don't even know. Yeah, I don't, I don't know because you guys won't tell me. Again, great podcasting with you guys having an inside joke that you're not mentioning to the listeners or me.
I think we should share this with the listeners and let them be the judge.
Like, part of me, like, part of me kind of hopes that the Commanders, like, win a game at some point. Thank you. Like, Jayden Daniels wins one of, you know, he's 0-6 in his last 6 games played. I hope they win just to like give PFT something positive to root for. So he's not just like using all of his time, just hate watching and like hate editing and like just Drake Maye owns all the real estate in his brain.
I mean, no, because if that's just not true, Hank, I try to break down film. I try to provide a service. And I mean, you can attack me all you want, but the fact of the matter is he didn't—
I'm not attacking you.
The tape don't lie.
The tape doesn't lie.
Tape don't lie.
That's the one thing you can— that's the thing, like, you can't hide from the tape.
Facts don't care about your feelings, bro.
You can't hide from the tape. We're on to this week. Like, this is—
this is—
You haven't even watched all the missed throws that he had, like all the missed open guys.
We're not even halfway through.
Yeah, this is only like 10.
We're not even halfway through.
I'm not worried. I'm not worried about last week. I don't live in the past.
I guess the good thing is it's correctable. Just like throw the ball to the open guy.
Yeah, we're at 219 of 447 right now.
Let's play a little bit more.
Okay.
Drops back and we've got Mack down here as the Z-cross.
This is ridiculous.
Excuse me, Z-dash. He's the Z-dash receiver.
So how—
And, uh, quick drop. And again, Mack, great release on the outside.
Oh, that guy was wide open.
Another interception.
Quarterback is playing inside leverage. He thinks he's got safety help over the top. He does not in fact have safety help over the top. About 40 yards of daylight. Strike that, 65 yards of daylight in front of him. If he catches that, he's still running. Next, we're gonna go to—
He's still running is pretty good.
Yeah.
Hank, there's— Mike Glenn's a good follow.
Interesting defensive fronts in Look at that.
Oh my God. I've never seen more of him.
He had an option to make that throw. He was not told about that wide open receiver.
Hank, are you looking at what the Seahawks are running defensively in this too?
I don't even know what that means. They're playing, they're running defense.
Just like, look at it. He's not going to— listen, some people can break down films.
Just look at the film, Hank. Look at the film right now.
Pause it. Josh McDaniels on top.
Looks like cover 1.
Looks like 11 guys.
True.
Plan D. Right.
So listen, we can— that's a good film breakdown by Hank. And I give you a plus grading on that. But we'll tell you what, after this week, we'll revisit the tape and we'll see what we have for week 2. Okay.
Yeah.
All right, Hank.
Yeah, there's something I'm missing. I don't know what it is.
You're not. It's just a— listen, you can— the tape doesn't lie.
There's 11 guys playing defense.
Big catch rate.
Tape doesn't lie. Tape doesn't care about your feelings.
This is going to be a bad weather game. What do you think about that, Hank?
Oh, he edited out one of the guys.
Every single clip had 10 guys on there.
Yeah, like, that's, that's a level. That's a level.
Why would you tell Hank that?
I could have—
We did it. I could have had him counted. He finally counted.
You guys walked him into it.
But he said there's 11 guys playing.
I know.
Over and over.
I know. Oh, I could have kept that going for another 2 weeks.
No, because if that had gone— if, if, if the minute AOL saw— AWL saw it, they'd just be like, there's 10 guys. That's a good point.
They would have all of them got their eyes on Glenn tape watch.
They've been like, there's 10 guys.
Drake Maylover would have been all over this because he's— he probably has like memorized all of the throws and been like, this doesn't make sense.
He was not open. Yeah.
So, Hank, obsession level, this move by Glenn Tapewatch.
It's insane.
It's Glenn.
I like it. Glenn sounds like a great name.
He's got a good avatar too. I like Glenn's avatar.
Wait, let me see his avatar. Glenn Tapewatch. NFL Tapewatch. Oh, okay. Asian. Okay. Oh, all right. So, yeah. Well, how are you feeling? Like, PFT is— he's on you.
The bio is the he's still running guy.
I mean, the good news is he's still running it strong now. Yeah, he's still running. The good news is you can, you can now do this with the AWL's help to get it into other parts of the internet.
Yeah.
You know what I mean? Like, they'll boost it and be like, what are you talking about? Oh, Billy's already following it.
Yeah, well, naturally, he's a tape guy.
Okay. He's still running, guy.
Hank?
I'm excited for this week. Trevion's back. I think Romeo Doubs are going to, you know, obviously had a horrible first game.
Yeah.
AJ Brown's out.
He's going to be wide receiver 1. I think they're going to get him a lot of looks. I'm expecting a good bounce back. I'm excited. I don't know about the spread, 5.5, but I expect the Patriots to win this game.
The weather is, I think, definitely going to be a factor. It's going to be, I think, bad, maybe like 25-mile-per-hour winds. Should be ugly.
The Steelers, I don't know if you guys seen, but like Mike McCarthy said this, I think, in the— before the season that they're going to use TJ Watt a little differently and he only played 38 of Pittsburgh's 60 defensive snaps last Sunday. It feels like he's basically like less is more type of situation. If we can unleash TJ Watt for 40 snaps instead of 60 snaps, he can be TJ Watt that he was 5 years ago.
Yeah.
Use him as a rotation guy. So he's always fresh.
Yeah.
And I mean, he did have a great game last week.
Great game.
Like an awesome, like a classic TJ Watt game. Yeah.
It was a throwback TJ Watt game. They're also— Aaron Rodgers has talked about like I guess there's target share questions going on. Is he not spreading it around enough? He said he doesn't give a fuck. He said he's also going to keep feeding DK. I would assume that's about DK's drops and offensive pass interference, but he's going to keep feeding him.
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, DK in theory should have had a really good game last week.
Yeah.
If he had made some of the catches that he normally makes. But the good news is for Steelers fans, you are, you are trying new things offensively.
Yeah. Must win.
No.
So you asked this last week.
Yeah, but I know, but we're now into, you know, week 2. It's like we're right before it. I don't know if anything changed. Who's your week 3 competition?
Is it Chargers?
So week 4 must win. No, no. I think every week's a must win at Jaguars who are playing well and then at Bills.
Tough schedule.
What do you—
what's a— you got to be 2-2 after the first 4 or 1-3 okay?
I think 1-3 is manageable.
Okay. 1-3 is manageable.
Okay.
Patriots.
We got to be— we got to be 2-3 by week 5, 3-3 after week 4. Okay.
Since the year 2000, the Patriots are 14-5 against Pittsburgh.
That's also Mike Tomlin's Pittsburgh.
And it's also Mike Tomlin's Pittsburgh.
Throw out all the record books. Mike Tomlin's not there anymore.
New sheriff in town.
Yeah.
It's Big Mike. Big Mike.
Big Mike. I did like Tomlin saying the Browns is the Browns. Mm-hmm. Mike Tomlin—
Juju Smith-Schuster said that.
Yeah, but he quoted Juju. My point is that Mike Tomlin on TV is like a different guy entirely.
Yeah.
I wish that we had gotten a little bit of this Mike.
You could tell why everyone loved him.
Yeah.
Yeah. All the players loved him.
He's very funny.
All right. Bengals and Texans. Texans -3. Over-under is 46.5. Joe Burrow's already dealing with a back.
Yep.
Not good. He says he can play. Said he needs surgery to not play.
I don't think an LSU quarterback would be listed as injured ahead of a big game if he wasn't actually injured.
He's gonna play.
That doesn't sound like something they'd do.
Yeah, he, he is. He's got back tightness. This is a big game for the Texans. Obviously, they started 0-1. They don't want to go to 0-2, although they have been in that spot before. I'm— I'll say this. Zach Taylor made comments in the press that he has to do a better job of getting the ball to Ja'Marr Chase. If you're looking to something to bet, Ja'Marr Chase had 2 catches, 12 yards, uh, in week 1, and he said that is going to be a point of emphasis. We also have a really fun, uh, body language discussion about CJ Stroud. So Andre Johnson said that He didn't like his body language. He said with him, and this is just me personally, what I dislike about CJ is his body language. His body language is bad. Anytime something happens, it's like motions. I think it's as a former player, your quarterback having that type of body language is bad because other guys look at you as the quarterback. So when they see you feeling a certain way, it kind of trickles through the team.
Yeah.
I mean, you got a body language watch.
Andre Johnson should know what bad quarterback body language looks like.
Yep.
If you look at the guys that threw him the ball, he's, he's been around enough of them to know. I actually agree with him.
Yeah, CJ Stroud did answer a question about it and he did say, I have no comment. And in— I watched the clip because I was like, is his body language going to be bad when someone asked a question about his bad body language? It was neutral body language.
Okay.
So I graded it on my PFF grade, neutral.
That's good. That's good. I think that he's—
That's him right there.
When he wins—
That's neutral.
The problem is when he wins, he's got great body language.
Actually, you know what? Maybe I should do that. I'll do a PFF grade of body language. Maybe I won't because the Bears are playing at the same time. Someone else in the cave, we will. We'll have them do a PFF grade of CJ Stroud's body language.
He is— the problem with him is he does— his body language depends on whether or not his team's winning or losing.
Yeah.
So when, like, if you have just neutral body language and you're not like a super excited person, that's fine if you keep it that way. But like, so for example, when the Texans beat the Bears, like CJ was, was full of himself. Remember that?
Yeah.
Like when he little—
Yeah, he little bro'd Caleb.
So he's like walking around chest out because they won a game. And then if they have a— if he has a bad game, he's a big-time— like, is that Linus that's walking with his blanket around?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I think it is. I probably— it's probably Linus.
No, it's Michael Cera.
Michael Cera.
Yeah, with his backpack.
He's a big Michael Cera sulking around guy if they do lose.
Yeah. Okay. I don't know. This game is going to be a good game. This would be— if it wasn't for the Jersey Jerry Hank factor, this would definitely probably be the sound game.
Mm-hmm. I mean, if Hank's getting buttfucked.
Yeah, true.
Why save some of that animosity you have towards me towards the guy that's trying to buttfuck you, Hank?
Yeah, Jerry is.
I'm just— I'm just putting—
I don't have animosity towards you.
Okay.
You're just obsessed with him.
I'm not obsessed. Again, this was not—
I feel bad for you.
Okay. Okay, Billy.
By the way, Mr. Cash Money Cash Mo Money Cash Mo on Twitter said if Burrow is injured, I'm chopping my dick off. So something something to watch. Oh no, could have a dick chopping off. Okay, next one. Yeah, this would be a good game though. I'm very interested to see how the offensive line of the Bengals, who played very well against the, the Bucs, holds up against the Texans, especially a Texans team that just got a little bit embarrassed on defense. And what kind of effort are you going to get out of them? Next up, Saints-Ravens. Ravens -8.5, over-under 46.5. Shuck Ladder, just say that right off the bat, right, Max? Shuck Ladder to the moon every time. Shuck said that, uh, he was trying to be too perfect in the first half last— yes, uh, week 1, and that was why he didn't look great. The big question in this game is what does the Ravens offense look like without Zay Flowers? He was so electric against the Colts, and will it be a little different, uh, going into this game knowing that he's probably not going to play? He's day-to-day for Sunday.
He was not practicing as He was by far the best receiver in the NFL. If you look at like all the splits and separation, all that stuff, even though he went out early, he was by far the best receiver in the entire league.
Yeah.
For like barely over half against the Colts.
Yeah. So I, I, I think the Saints are live in this game a little bit.
I think they're certainly live against the spread.
Yeah.
I think at Baltimore is a tough place to play.
Yeah.
Very tough, especially first home game of the season. Lamar looked awesome. Awesome. It's like this, we might be seeing this is prime Lamar this year.
Yeah, absolutely. The Saints' problem has been, uh, that they start every game pretty slow. So Saints are 2-16 first quarter against the spread and 0-15-3. So they've not won— they've not been leading after a first quarter in 18 games. That's week 1 and all of last year. So that's the point. Kellen Moore, less game balls, more come out the gates hot, because the Ravens are one of those teams There are certain teams in the NFL. It's like if you get, if you get down to the Ravens, they will just feed Derrick Henry and punish you and it will be game over. You don't want to be down to them by multiple scores going into the second quarter.
Yeah. I think you just have to tell them if you want to give out game balls, you cannot come out of the gates slow in the first half.
Yeah.
And just use that as a carrot.
Maybe give out a first quarter game ball and then be like, no one gets it. You guys all sucked.
Or the problem is if you, if you tell him he's allowed to give out a first quarter game ball, that's going to turn into like 5 first quarter game quarter balls.
game balls.
Yeah, he's addicted.
By the way, Tyler Shuck not on the top 20 week 2 QB power rankings according to NFL.com. What more does this guy have to do?
Perfect second half.
Carson Wentz was, was 20th.
Respect.
Tyler Shuck was not on there. He broke the Saints record for most passing yards in second half or overtime, second half and overtime. That's pretty crazy because Drew Brees has all the, all the Saints records. He had 325 yards in the second half in overtime. Drew Brees is second with 310. He's third with 292. He's fourth, like right down the list. So yeah, just figure it out for 4 quarters, Saints.
I was actually, I was happy to see that it wasn't just us that didn't understand that fumble ruling against the Lions. Like everybody, no matter how much football they've watched, they were like, that, that has always been a fumble. I don't understand what happened there.
Yeah.
Okay. Bears-Vikings, Bears -5.5, over-under 48.5. So, uh, I, I think I mentioned this Wednesday, but Ben Johnson, uh, after or during his media this week said that he was actually considering— they asked him about scoring 59, he was considering going for 2 to get 60. But then he was asked later on in the week, what, what do you, you know, how do you deal with scoring 59 and a letdown? He's like, we haven't scored any points this week. So he's on, he's ready to go for Brian Flores and the Vikings. I think it's going to be An awesome test for the Bears offense, which looks incredible going up against one of the most aggressive defenses in the league and like see where litmus tests they kind of hang.
Yeah.
They asked Ben Johnson about that. If there was any, like, what is he thinking? Does he know what I'm thinking? And I know what he's thinking. So he knows that I know that whole thing. He was like, yes, that I'm currently—
I'm in that path right now.
I'm currently trying to deal with that exact problem and figure out exactly what I should do.
Yeah, the exact quote was, is there ever a trap of overthinking and trying to guess what he thinks you think you think he thinks you're going to do? How do you avoid going down that path? And Ben Johns said, I'm in that path right now.
Yeah, I think, I think it's a very honest answer because they have to think that sometimes. Yes. When you get too far down, at some point you just have to think to yourself, like, let's just do the things that we're good at.
Yeah.
That I'm confident in. One thing you got to watch out for this week, Big Cat, just keep your eye on this. Carson Wentz. It could be exactly 72 degrees for this game. And we all know that Carson Wentz is the best quarterback in NFL history at kickoff when it's 72 degrees outside.
Is that true?
Yeah. Remember that was a stat that you gave me when, when he became a Commander quarterback.
Oh, is it? I thought there was a Blake Bortles stat, but yeah. Oh no, there was a Mitch stat too. Mitch had a perfect passer rating for a certain degree, but yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
This is the Carson Wentz temperature.
Listen, I am as over the moon and excited about watching this Bears offense, I am also very trepidatious— is that a word? Trepidatious— about, uh, how in the world the Bears are going to cover Justin Jefferson. It feels like a game that he's going to be open the entire time. So, uh, the Bears are also dealing with— so there's apparently this, uh, I don't want to call him a fake doctor, but his name is Dr. Mo and he's a foot specialist.
Oh, okay.
And he's the one who is working with Kyler Gordon, uh, to try to rehab him.
Okay.
And, uh, Dr. Mo, we need Dr. Mo to, to figure it out.
So Dr. Mo is holding Kyler Gordon out?
Well, Dr. Mo is working with Kyler Gordon outside of Halas Hall. Dr. Mo, let me find his—
So we got— we have an individual doctor.
Yeah, outside, uh, the Foot Dr. Mo. That's his Instagram account. I always want my doctors to have an Instagram account.
Yeah. Does he put up pictures of his face? patient's feet. What's Dr. Mo into?
No, but I—
listen, also, any doctor that just goes by their first name and is kind of a celebrity, yeah, that's usually a good guy to go to.
Dr. Mo the Foot Doctor on Instagram. Please like and subscribe. Dr. Mo.
Mo Feet.
That doesn't— that, that, that's not awesome. That's not awesome. Um, yeah, so this— I, I think Justin Jefferson is gonna have a field day. I do. I think the Bears offense is going to do, uh, enough, especially with their run game. Uh, being able to, you know, stave off the blitz. But I'm very worried about Justin Jefferson going for like 200 yards because I just don't know if Bryce, if Bryce Young can, can, and Jalen Coker can rip you up. Justin Jefferson's pretty damn good.
Yeah.
But I mean, Carson Wentz, I think you hit Carson Wentz a couple of times and you'll be okay.
Carson Wentz, like he didn't play bad. He was the 20th best quarterback. He's ranked higher than Tyler Shook.
So Minnesota, I didn't realize that they've won 6 straight games at Soldier Field.
Yes.
Yes.
They've had the Bears' number recently.
And the Bears, like Ben Johnson, Brian Flores is kind of a mixed bag. It doesn't— there's not a significant one guy has an edge over the other, dating back to Lions-Vikings as well. It was 1-1 last year. So yeah, it's gonna be a good chess match.
So 2 things real quick about Caleb this week. Yeah. Number one, he's a clutch jeans guy, which I like. Like giant big dad shorts.
Yep.
That's good to see. Number 2, what did you think about his baseball swing?
Well, he's not a lefty, so.
Okay.
So pretty good.
Okay, so pretty good. Yeah, but some people when they swing lefty, it actually looks better than when they swing right. That is true. But not Caleb is what you're saying.
I would say not Caleb.
So stick to being a righty.
Yeah, he was doing the lefty for PCA.
He was doing a PCA impression. Yeah, it was one of the classic PCA Be Like videos.
PCA is so fucking awesome. 43 and 37. He's hitting too many home runs. He can't steal the base. He can't get to 44 and 37.
You just stop at first base.
He can't steal the base. He's mashing too much.
Just stop at first. I've gone far enough. Let me steal.
Max is going auto over on the Bears every single week, by the way.
Yep.
He's announced it.
Until they prove me otherwise.
It is going to be a little rainy.
Until they prove me otherwise.
I don't hate that idea. I'm very excited for this game though. I think that like as awesome as week 1 was, 59 points, everything, you know, looked incredible. Can you do it against Brian Flores?
Must win.
And I would say no, it's not a must win. It's no, it's not a must win. Don't get— don't let Carson Wentz put up like— if Carson Wentz puts up like 400 yards, it's going to be a problem.
It'll sting.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I love the clip of Ben, the reporter asking Ben Johnson if, you know, he's played Brian Flores a lot and that if he gets worried about—
Right. What did he say to that? What did Ben Johnson respond?
No.
We already talked. Yeah, yeah, it's okay, it's okay.
Just gonna let him roll.
It's okay. I got your back, Hank. You got it. You already got to look out for Glenn Tape Watch over here.
If I see him, I'll let him know.
It's a chess match. It's a back and forth. If you let him watch, I wouldn't put it past him.
He's still running, guys. He's still running.
So I'm so mad that you guys, like, told him what the deal was.
Oh, you would have looked.
I would have found out.
No, you wouldn't have.
Yes, 100%. Once everyone else saw it, they would have Until tomorrow, 100%.
And then you would have felt it. Yeah, but then the bit would have been revealed.
But the— no, the reveal would have been worse because it wouldn't have been on the show.
Yeah, we need it on the show.
He—
I wouldn't put it past BFD to get one of those like AI-looking face masks and show up as Glenn Tapewatch.
I don't know what you're talking about, but I'm not— yes, I'm all in.
Whatever that— the guy went on Fox News, they're like, that guy's an alien. Oh yeah, I can't remember who it was. They're like, look at his neck folds. Okay, Packers. I think the Bears are gonna win. I think it's gonna be not— they're not— I do not think— here's my hot take on this game. I do not think they're gonna score 59 points. I do think they're gonna win. That's— that seems— they might score 60, actually. I gave myself a real nice out there because there's a lot of points that are not 59 points.
That is true. Yeah, there's way more than—
yeah, yeah, there's a shitload of points.
Depending on what already happened tonight in the Lions game, we might be positioning ourselves for, uh, This being the real year where we're wondering about like Ben Johnson's absence from the Lions and what it's doing to the Bears.
Yeah. Packers-Jets. Packers -4.5, over-under 44.5. Memes.
I am super excited for this game.
And confident.
And confident.
It's going to be super rainy in MetLife on Sunday. So I think that benefits the Jets. Muck it up a little bit.
Okay.
I think this is a great game for David Bailey to come out. In what way?
Oh, he's gonna announce that he's— No.
What kind of Packer is he? Not that kind of Packer.
Okay.
Packers O-line had a real tough game last week. I think David Bailey, Will McDonald could have a real good game. I think David Bailey— you're actually not wrong about David Bailey because he's, he's a monster. It's only a matter of time.
Matt LaFleur is 7-0 against the spread in his career week 2 of the NFL season. Pretty good week 2 coach.
Yeah.
So does that make you nervous at all? Does feel like there's going to be some desperation from the Packers.
Yeah, for sure. Packers are a really good team, but I think the rain helps the Jets. If it was perfect conditions, Jets probably lose. It's going to be rainy as shit.
It's going to be rainy as shit. Rainy as shit. You got windy also going the whiteout. uniforms.
Yeah, the whiteout uniforms look so sick.
Are they gonna look sick in the rain? And the rain is shit.
White t-shirt contest. Yeah, yeah, probably still look sick. Okay, get the nips popping through.
Still look sick.
Yeah.
I feel like they might look colder if it's raining and they're all in all whites.
Is that better?
I don't think so. You don't want to be cold.
It also depends on what kind of white it is. If it's the kind of white that turns gray, that might work in your advantage.
True.
These are important.
But if it's the kind of white that stays white in the rain, I agree with Big Cat. That's— you're going to look cold.
You're going to look uncomfortable.
That's like a Miami uniform.
Yeah.
I disagree.
I think you got to get white. You got to get someone from the Jets to pour some water on these jerseys before Sunday. See what color they end up.
I think they'll still be white.
Okay. But what type of white?
What kind of white are you?
Mm-hmm. Yeah, I think it's gonna be a good game.
Okay.
Memes, how, how insufferable will you be if they beat the Packers?
The most insufferable.
I would, I would pray for our listeners' ears.
Yeah. So would I. I want you to beat the Packers and their season.
You guys could be leading the division.
We already are.
Are you?
Are you?
Yeah.
For like outright tied.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
Tied.
Geno Smith was asked if he feels like he silenced any critics with his performance in week 1. What do you guys think he responded with that?
Nah. No. With silence.
No, he said, I can't hear any critics. I'm sorry.
Okay, good for him.
Locked in.
Yep.
So he's—
because they're writing him.
Yeah.
And then he's not writing right back. But the letter takes longer than just a couple days to get there.
Yeah. Memes.
This is a, uh, it only something that people who are fans of bad teams will truly understand. But early on in the season, if you get off to a hot start, you win a game, maybe you win 2 games, and you're constantly looking at the standings to see your team like, oh my God, we're, we're at the top of the standings. It's been so long since I've seen this. Have you found any out there that are not alphabetical order so that the Jets are actually listed first? Uh, you're saying before the Bills top the AFC East? Top of the— top of your division.
Yeah, actually, the Lions lose tonight, you're outright—
yeah, yeah, the Lions win.
Yeah, or Lions win.
Yeah, this is a huge— obviously we already talked about it at the start of the show, but you would have— you'd have 2 full days to just look at the standings.
Yeah, that's incredible, but the Bills never lose.
Yeah, well, we already taped it, so we don't know. No, they didn't lose.
They won.
Remember when we said that for the, for the, for the Texans-Bills game last year?
Yep.
Pre-taped it because we had a case race.
Bills never lose.
Texans were— Texans fans were mad about that, rightfully so. Okay, uh, Max, Eagles-Titans. Eagles -7, over-under 39.5. I mean, if you don't win this game by a lot, what are we doing?
Yeah, the Eagles don't tend to win games by a lot very often. So I could see them, you know, looking bad and then winning the football game like they do, like they did all last year. So I wouldn't be surprised. I would be— they're going to win. They're going to win. They're going to win the football game. They got to win the football game.
The Eagles have never won at Nissan Stadium. 0-3 lifetime.
Damn. All right. That's a little scary.
That is one of those matchups I don't even remember ever seeing.
Right.
Because it's only happened 3 times. And listen, the Eagles— I'm doing the PFTs this weekend. Eagles tease to -2.5. I feel like that there's no way that loses, right? There's no way you don't beat the Titans by 3 points or more.
Yeah. I thought there was no way the Chargers were going to lose to the Cardinals at home last week. So yeah, it's the NFL. Anything can happen. But yeah, I would be, I would be very surprised and very angry and probably very pessimistic. pessimistic towards the rest of the season if they lose this game. Yeah, I don't think it's going to happen.
I don't think so either. What do you, what do you need to see from this game? The offensive line look a little better?
Offensive line actually wasn't bad. It was just Landon Dickerson. Landon Dickerson is not going to play. I don't think they have announced officially who is going to replace him. I think it's either Willie Lampkin or Drew Kendall, I think his name is. But Sean, he can't be worse than Landon. They can't be worse than Landon Dickerson.
Yeah. Sean Mannion, uh, through one week, I saw the stat, he's doing a lot more motion, which is great. So the Eagles used motion on 62% of their plays in week 1, their highest rate in the past 10 seasons. Jalen Hurts averaged 10.2 yards per attempt with motion and 3.8 without. That was the big criticism last year of the Eagles offense is it was very, very static. No one moving. No wrinkles. Looks like Sean Mannion is trying to fix that.
So far so good. So far, definitely better than last year.
So what do you think about— so if Dickerson's going to be out, lined up across from him is probably going to be Jeffrey Simmons, right? The Titans' best defensive player. And then he, he actually, he had a quote.
I thought it was— yeah, that was not a choice by him.
Not a great idea. Some bulletin board material. He said, we just need to make Jalen Hurts be a quarterback.
Oh, the Titans aren't in any position to be making any of those statements. Win some football games before you start talking shit on a team that won the Super Bowl 2 years ago and has had infinite more success than you.
But I kind of like it that someone, a player on the Titans, a very good player, mind you, but a player on the Titans is essentially going like, WIP caller.
Yeah, exactly. Like, I, I, I was ecstatic when I saw that he said that because Jalen Hurts plays better when, when he has a chip on his shoulder. He had a very good game last week and still people are making these statements that it's like, all right, let me go do it again.
So do you think that if you're Jalen Hurts, somebody says this about you, are you more likely to listen to that and say, you know what, I will beat you as a quarterback throwing the ball? Or is he going to be more likely to be like, fuck it at all costs and just run?
I think fuck it at all costs.
Oh, you think he like almost like dared him? Like you won't beat us as a quarterback.
Yeah, that's what I'm seeing. And then I actually think Jalen Hurts is good enough. Max, cover your ears. I actually think he's good enough as a quarterback that when somebody dares him to do that, he could say, fuck you, I will beat you as a quarterback, and then stay in the pocket and throw for like 300 yards and 3 touchdowns.
You won't do that, Jalen.
All right, Max, you put your headphones back on. So yeah, pretty, pretty good comment here by Jeffrey Simmons. That's the right take. It's like he's not a quarterback, he's running back.
What do you guys think? Robert Saleh, who we had fun having him on the show. Good guy. What do you think his family's thinking after this quote when he said, I would have bet every asset my family has, we would have come out in the second half and played better. We didn't. He's like, hey, take away his dad card, please. We're the Titans. We're the Titans now.
Yeah.
What are we doing?
Memes back here just goes, what do you mean?
They were playing the mighty Jets.
You like that one, Hank? Hank just shook his head.
Ferociously. Mims is becoming a problem.
Oh yeah, yeah, he is.
He is.
Ever since the Knicks.
Mm-hmm. And he kind of walks—
the thing is, he doesn't care.
Yeah, no, he walks around with his like chest puffed out in this like cocky way where he kind of like eyes you up and down. You're just like, what are you looking at, man? He's just— he's got something right now.
Yeah, week 1 against the Titans.
Titans could be good.
They beat the Eagles. Yeah, they could be good. They just Lost to a far superior opponent.
Right, right. What if the Titans are the 2nd best team in the AFC?
I was going to say I'll cut my dick off, but—
Do it. The Titans have to get the 2 seed.
Yeah, I'll cut my dick off.
All right.
Okay.
Let's go Titans.
Tighten up.
Tighten up.
That's what they'll have to do to your—
Oh man. What if they win? Start ripping off a couple wins.
Mm-hmm.
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Zach, Browns-Bucs. Bucs -8.5, over-under 40.5. This is a must-win.
Yeah, this is— we need, we need this. We can't, we can't go out to the Browns. I feel good about it. If, you know, ball security steps up one level from last week, we should be okay. As long as there's not 24 points on turnovers, I feel like we're in a good spot.
Yeah, as long as Baker's not running around, not checking behind him, that sort of thing.
I'm down with him running around, maybe quick little glance back. You're right.
Yeah. Or just like tell the offensive line, like yell at them. If somebody's about to hit him, let him know.
Yeah, let's get audible, you know. Let's let the boys know.
This is the— I mean, this is the perfect get-right spot because not only the Browns stink, but also Baker has history with the Browns. Yeah, we're gonna get extra chip.
Let's see Baker go belt to ass on the Browns and then we move.
He does not have to invent any reasons to be pissed off this weekend.
Not at all.
I think you dig into the chest of reasons you already have.
I think an important part about being in the media like we are is admitting maybe when you're when you're wrong about something and admitting when maybe your expectations have been just unreasonable and too high about things. I think we need to apologize to Deshaun Watson for casting unrealistic expectations onto him at the quarterback position. We do act like he has to go out there every week and throw for 400 yards and 5 touchdowns. And that's kind of, you know, that's an average game for Deshaun. So I'm realizing now that maybe he's not the guy that's going to do that every week. Maybe every other week. So yeah, Deshaun.
What about like 5 weeks combined?
That'd be a good start. I think that's a good start.
I actually—
What were the numbers?
Well, the quote was, the media has this expectation that I'm supposed to throw for 400 yards and 5 touchdowns. I looked it up. He did that one time in his career.
Okay.
And it was October 6th, 2019. So it's been 7 years.
400 yards and 5 touchdowns is what the media is expecting out of him?
That's what we've expected out of Deshaun Watson this year.
Yeah. Okay.
And I'm looking right now. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. For his last 5 games played, he has thrown 5 touchdowns.
Okay. So maybe like per month.
Yeah. 5 touchdowns per month.
5 touchdowns a month. 400 yards per month.
He just lives in fucking la-la land.
We can get there.
I— it's crazy. Like, what?
I don't know.
How does he do this?
I don't know where he pulled this one out of.
Every single week he has—
Probably when he sees his like direct deposit hit, he's like, yeah, I am the stud quarterback.
I am a franchise guy.
Yeah. Listen, just price of quarterbacking went up. That's the normal price that you should expect for 115 yards and a pick.
Yeah.
I also don't like how Todd Monken is talking right now where he said that we're disappointed, but what do we have to be down about? I waited my whole life to be a head coach. So what do you—
he's been thinking his entire season of being a head coach is smelling the roses.
Yeah.
Like I made it. This is—
yeah.
I mean, it's a victory lap for Todd DeMonken.
Some guys, Todd DeMunken, some, some guys want to be a head coach and win Super Bowls. Todd DeMunken is like, hey, just name me head coach.
Like, journey. It's about the journey, not the destination, guys. Let's just— how, how amazing is it if you just think, I'm lucky enough to be living in the United States and I'm lucky enough to be a millionaire head coach for an NFL football team. When you put it that way, life is pretty sweet.
Yeah.
I think the Bucs are going to win this game.
I do too. So that's the other side of the tease. I got the Bucs -2, Eagles -2.5. You tease that together, -115. I don't see how that one loses.
Are you worried that Rico's going to be rooting against the Bucs?
I—
that was— that did not factor into my equation when I put the bet in.
Something to think about. Because I put it in before Rico did declare he'll never root for the Bucs again.
Before he went full Rico. Yeah. And that's a— it's a— is he going to be in the cave?
Oh yeah.
Yeah, that's a problem.
Zach, prediction, score prediction.
A prediction. Let's go beat them by 14, you know, 2 scores.
July 14th. What would you say?
Beat them by 14.
14?
Yes, sir. Which 14?
July 14th.
Oh, no. Not July 14th. My bad. No, 2 scores, 14 points.
14.
But which, which 14? Are we talking like 28-14?
Yeah, that's a big difference because it's like 27-3 and it's like, oh, we still got got some problems.
Really, I'm just looking to be on the victorious side of 14. But if we, if we go exact score, let's hit them with—
31-17 is a dominant 14.
I'll take that 14. Sounds good. That sounds strong.
That's the, that's the widest 14-point margin.
Yeah.
31-17 is your, is your number 1 14. I think 28-14 is probably your number 2. 21-7 is like your defense played great.
45, 45 to 31 is strong.
That's a huge one. But that's also a lot of points you gave up on your defense. I think it's 31-17.
Is that all this is?
Yeah.
That's by far the best.
I think we're in a great spot for our first home game as well.
14 to nothing, by the way, might as well be 6 points.
Yeah, you didn't do anything.
That's not 14 points.
You didn't do anything.
Yeah, got in twice.
Yeah, but it was like—
one was probably like a pick 6 at the end on the lateral or something.
Yeah, yeah. Okay, Panthers-Falcons. Falcons +2.5, over-under 43.5. Who's starting for the Atlanta Falcons? We have a fun game we're gonna play.
I think it's gotta be Cooper Rush. You gotta feed the hot hand.
Cooper Rush hurt his back. Tua still has a hurt back. Michael Penix has a, uh, everything, and he's still a week away. And so then we get to Jack Strand. Falcons head coach Kevin Stefanski said that Jack Strand is not being ruled out for the game.
You can—
that feels like a threat.
You can never rule Jack Strand out.
So I looked up Jack Strand. He's a D2 football player from Wisconsin, played D2 football in Minnesota. He is from— the only thing I could find about Jack Strand that was remotely interesting and seems like a nice guy is Jack Strand is from Bloomfield, Wisconsin, which is kind of the western part of the state, small town, 3,000 people. It is the jump rope capital of the world.
Oh, hell yeah.
That's pretty cool.
Good friend. That's— it's a great workout. So he's probably pretty athletic.
So they— it goes that they had a— I think it was like a gym teacher or something 60 years ago came up with, hey, every year we're gonna have a competition.
How—
who can jump rope the most times in 10 seconds? And every year in January, they do this competition in Bloomfield, Wisconsin, where all the towns around it come and compete. And kids of all like grade levels, 10— you get 10 seconds, how many jumps can you do?
And do we know how he did? How Jack Strand was at jump rope?
I don't know.
Let's find out.
He's gotta be pretty good. I saw that he They were doing this drill to get warmed up for practice the other day, and Jack Strand's got some long strides.
What?
Oh, you got the video right here. The drill that they're doing is like some sort of deep skipping backpedal drill.
Okay.
And that first—
totally normal drill.
Very normal drill. There's—
Cooper Rush didn't want to participate in this.
Well, he's got a hurt back, dude.
Now he's carrying that. Look at this here. Look at those steps by Jack Strand.
Yeah, he could jump rope.
That's a jump rope body.
I don't have Maybe we'll get Jack Strand on someday and we'll see what, what his best jump roping year was.
Do you think that Kevin Stefanski is like, what the fuck? Why am I going through this again? Or do you think Kevin Stefanski might be the problem that like wherever he, he's a bad luck Chuck, wherever he goes, he just ends up with a morgue of a quarterback room.
He's, it's me. I'm the problem.
It's me.
Whatever Taylor Swift's quote is. This is, it's insane. Again, Kevin Stefanski had to say Jack Strand is not being ruled out for this game.
game.
That is a threat that he's threatening us. Yeah, he's like, I'll fucking do it. Well, now I'll start Jack Strand.
I'm not, I'm not even scared by it anymore now. I'm kind of, I kind of want to see what it looks like.
What scariest quotes in the last week and a half? AI has a 10% chance of killing us, or we're not ruling out Jack Strand to start in this game.
I, I'm, I'm kind of Strand curious at this time.
By the way, I did, uh, some research, and by by some research my wife just sent me, an Instagram video. The AI thing is it was an op.
Oh, that's— we're at that level now where it's like these are psyops?
No, the whistleblower was an op. AI, all these companies are running out of money and they don't actually have any like utilization yet. And they've taken all this investment in. So they basically had a whistleblower come out and be like, it's going to kill us all. We got to get the government involved. The government's going to get involved, regulate the AI. The AI companies can be like, hey, it's not our fault we didn't like actually produce any profits. The government shut us down.
It is kind of funny that they're like, we've all agreed to slow down.
Correct.
For the benefit of mankind.
And they also are asking for antitrust exemption. So they basically are like, hey, we all agreed to slow down. We're going to stop this. Oh, shit. The government's going to make us slow down and all this stuff. We don't have to pay back our investors. And also we are now going to get to collude to make sure that we make as much money as possible.
I did see that. I always think that when they do these types of like public statements, it's just so that everybody that's watching them is like, oh shit, their technology must be awesome and light years ahead of what ours is. And then they panic and then they spend more money to develop their own technology, right? Because they think that they're getting beat out by Anthropic. It's like, whoa, their shit's about to blow up the world. Ours isn't even halfway there yet.
Yeah.
But yeah, that would be devastating for me if they actually do have to put a pause on it because I don't know, some of the film accounts that I watch online are really good at that stuff.
So yeah. Did you see the article about Lane Kiffin using ChatGPT for legal advice? Yeah, that was awesome.
It was.
That was— it explains everything.
It explains—
explains the entire, like, trying to get NFL players. He has a lawyer who he asked for opinions of.
Yeah.
And he would send the lawyer ChatGPT answers being like, look, they say that it's okay that I could do This explains everything about, yeah, the last year. Yeah. He also talked about this like new Lane book that came out. Someone wrote a book about Lane Kiffin. He said, I can save you $33 and sum it up for you. Old unnamed sources say that Saban hated Lane Kiffin, and Lane Kiffin drank too much and hung out with hot women. New unnamed sources say Saban and Kiffin love each other again. Lane Kiffin doesn't drink, still hangs out with hot women.
Yep.
Whatever, whichever way you want to do it, he's still hanging out with babes.
It's pretty good. Yeah, it's pretty good.
Okay, so, uh, this game, I don't know, Jack Strand. We might be watching Jack Strand.
I'm watching some film on Jack Strand. I might be in on it.
Yeah, okay. What if the Falcons just do this every week? They're like, let's just, let's just see who—
he's throwing some good balls.
What's the lowest level of quarterback we could win an NFL What's his scouting report like?
He's tall.
Good.
He looks—
he is.
He's 6'3. I looked at his— he's 6— almost 6'4, 240. Broke a ton of records at D2. Okay. Started as a freshman at D2, like 4 games in, played the whole career there. Yeah. Jack Strand kind of looks like Flacco. Did you just fart?
Hank just ripped out.
That was my shoe.
Oh, okay.
Kind of does look like Flacco.
Like a young Flacco.
He looks good.
He looks like—
I'm in on you. I'm, I'm a Strand boy.
Anyone else getting like a mixture of Joe Flacco and Peyton Manning from him?
I think he's just playing the Colts in this film. So you're seeing—
He's wearing 18.
Meet me at the Strand Bar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a good one.
Get up, Strand up, Strand up.
Boy, you're like Stand up for what you believe in.
This tweet says, how long before Jack Strand wins the QB1 title in Atlanta?
I think it's, it's imminent.
I'm ready.
Draft 5.
I'll say it. I'm looking at these 2, Max.
Good.
I'm ready to get stranded. Let's get stranded.
Let's get stranded.
Welcome to the Strand Box.
It looks like a catchable ball.
Let's get stranded.
Okay.
We've now So the— I'll say this, the clips that you're playing for us, I think there's only 4 plays. I've seen the same run 4 times.
Well, there's not a lot of tape on him out there.
Yeah, that's good.
And the tape that we have seen looks good.
He looks like a mix between Aaron Rodgers.
Yeah. Falcons are, uh, start— started the season 0-1 for the 8th time in the last 9 seasons.
That's tough. Did you see their, uh, their cornerback Kobe Bryant, the meal that he had this week? He had— he went to like a local Atlanta restaurant and he had some Kobe Durant. Yeah.
He had a Looney Tunes pan because it is confusing because there's a Kobe Bryant to the Bears, but it's like, dude, how many—
I thought there was a third Kobe Bryant.
How many basketball players can be in one? I think it's Kobe Durant, right?
Oh, let's see.
No, he plays for the Cowboys.
Yeah. It's Kobe Bryant.
There's 2 Kobe Bryants on the Falcons. Yeah.
C-O-B-E-E. Kobe Bryant. So he had a Looney Tunes pan. At a restaurant in Atlanta. Look at, look at what's on the Looney Tunes pan.
There's too many.
I don't think that it's possible for you to play football the week after eating all this food.
Okay, let me see.
It's actually kind of crazy. It had— it's a Hot Cheeto burger, Hot Cheeto balls.
Oh, shit.
Loaded fries, lemon pepper chicken wings, and Fruity Pebble waffles. Look at that shit. I love this. It looks awesome, but I don't know how it's possible for you to walk after this. Like, pray for his butt.
We have the same diet as an NFL player. Yeah, look at that shit.
That's the craziest meal I think I've ever seen.
Insane. Too many Kobe Bryants. Did not realize that. Yeah, the Kobe Durant one was a nice like, oh shit, it's, it's different. It's 2 basketball players in one. Okay. Afternoon games. Very excited for the afternoon games. PFT, are you officially America's Game of the Week again?
Yeah, I think so.
Wow.
They're obsessed with us.
We will start, though, with Jaguars at Broncos. Jaguars at Broncos. Broncos are -2.5. Over-under is 44.5. The Jaguars are the hottest team, you know, if you take out obviously their playoff loss to the Bills, but I think they've won 9 in a row. They have the most consecutive games scoring 23 points with 12 in a row. Trevor Lawrence is 9-0 in his last 9 regular season games, 28 touchdowns, 2,400 yards. The Jaguars are rolling.
Yeah, Jaguars are a juggernaut right now. Did you know that in the next 33 games that the Jaguars play, they have to play 28 out of the next 33 away from Jacksonville?
Yeah, that's crazy.
Isn't that nuts?
That kind of blew my mind when I saw that.
Yeah. So they're gonna be playing 2 games this year in London and then they're gonna be playing in Orlando.
Yeah.
As they do renovations to, to their home field in Jacksonville. So this is like the start of a wild stretch for them. I, I like the Broncos. It's a classic. You looked like shit in week 1. The other team looked really awesome in week 1. And then everything's going to get reversed. Everything reverses in week 2.
I have a question. Is there— there was a lot of talk last year about the Patriots schedule. Looking at who the Broncos defense played last year, did we maybe overrate them? I'll list some of the quarterbacks they played. They played week 1, Cam Ward, week 4, Jake Browning. Week 6, Justin Fields. Week 9, Davis Mills. Week 10, Geno Smith, which that was a bad experience last year. Uh, week 13, Marcus Mariota. Week 14, Kenny Pickett. Week 15, Jordan Love. Week 17, Chris Oladukan. Week 18, Trey Lance.
Yeah.
I mean, if you put all those guys together, it's not, it's not just that they played because there were a bunch of weeks that you left out. Yeah.
Where they played good quarterbacks, but also there are a lot of teams in there that should have had better quarterbacks. Yeah. So they played a ton of backups, maybe even a couple of third stringers in there as well. So yeah, I think that's fair to point out. I think it's all you play who you play and if you win the game, good for you.
But did we?
Yeah.
Maybe they got to the AFC Championship Game.
Yeah. No, no, no. I'm not saying they weren't very good last year. I'm just saying that I went into this season being like, the Broncos are going to be one of the best defenses. It— the one good news for the Broncos is like tackling is something you seemingly can fix. It's not like a we don't have the talent. They just couldn't tackle. They got to put the pads on.
Yes.
Right. The pads have to be on.
I would just, I would love to see Sean Payton in practice this week. He's got a couple. It's going to be a Sean Payton fuck shit game.
Yeah.
I think there's going to be some gadgets in there.
Yeah.
And this is also like, if the Jaguars go and win this game, why are Jaguars do really get— Liam Cohn made the comments about the small market stuff and it's like, it is true. They don't— Jaguars can be really good and they will not get talked about the same way as a lot of other teams.
But yeah, if they, if they win this game, I mean, in Denver, I would put them maybe second in the power rankings behind the Jets.
Yeah. Jets and Jaguars.
Yeah.
What do you think, Memes? Or should they be ahead of the Jets? They should be ahead. They're very good. Okay.
They are very good.
All right, then I will retract. This game always makes me think about Mark Slaerth because he was obsessed with this loss that they had.
Mark Brunell. Yeah.
And Mark Slaerth.
Yeah.
No, but Mark, it makes me think about Mark Slaerth because when I was growing up, he was my coach. and they lost that playoff game where they were 1 seed.
To Mark Brunell.
To Mark Brunell. And every day, like, the only lesson that he would teach us had something to do with the Broncos overlooking the Jaguars in the playoffs. That loss, when I tell you he thought about that loss every single day of his life, he probably still does. He probably wakes up in a cold sweat being like, if we had just beaten the Jaguars in the playoffs that one year, I would have, I would have had another ring.
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that was a really good Broncos team, but they probably don't win 2 in a row if they don't lose that one.
That's actually that. The other wrinkle was the next year year after they won a Super Bowl, then every lesson became still about that Jaguars game. But after a loss, he'd be like, this can actually propel you to win Super Bowls. Yeah, use it.
All right, Chargers-Raiders. Chargers -7, over-under 43.5. Must win for the Chargers. Have to win this game. Cannot lose this game. Actually, they can, and then we'll just be like, well, they're the Chargers.
It's a must-win. It is a must-win.
But you know what I'm saying? Like, yes, I, I was, I was doing prep and I was like, oh man, the Chargers must win. But really it's not because if they do lose, just like, okay, well, they were disappointing.
This has been a big battle back and forth of people that I don't know who's right and who's wrong online, but some people are insisting that it's the offensive line's fault. And some people are insisting that it's Justin Herbert's fault in terms of like a lot of the sacks that he's taken. And if it's Herbert's fault, that would be a concern that that type of stuff continues to happen. But the fact is, I don't know who's right.
I would say that the truth is probably always in the middle in these situations where it's And adding even another one, it's probably partially the play calling as well.
That probably has something to do with it. Yes. Right.
They—
this is a must-win. I'm going to put must-win for the Chargers this week going up against Kirk Cousins, who looked good. Kirk Cousins looked like he had— I don't want to say like good-ish, good-ish, like way above Cooper Rush.
Yes.
Level.
He is addicted to In-N-Out.
Yeah.
Hank, I like this.
He said that.
I like that quote a lot.
Yeah.
He lays off the milkshake, though.
He lays off the milkshake, shows some discipline, goes every game after every game to In-N-Out. 2 burgers, fries. He said at one point this year he did go by himself and got 3 3x3s. That's a lot. That's a lot.
A ton.
That's a lot.
2 Double Doubles is— I think that's the perfect meal.
Yeah, that's— I mean, In-N-Out is very good.
He says he doesn't get onions. Shout out Shane.
Shane.
But then he does get fries and he doesn't do a shake.
Okay.
Let's see what happens in this game. I think the Chargers can't lose this game, right?
There's always a good fight between these 2 teams, like in the stands.
Yeah.
Yeah, it used to be the number one fight game when it was San Diego.
Yeah.
Oakland.
Yeah. I think it still happens.
We've lost a little something.
Well, because LA is still very much a— it's a Raiders town too.
Yeah.
So like there, there'll probably be just as many Raiders fans at this game as there are Chargers fans.
Yeah, that's true. That's very true. All right, Seahawks-Cardinals. Drew Lock starting, Sam Darnold out, but not out for so long that they're putting him on IR. So that's good news. Cardinals were like the surprise story from week 1. Can they do it against the Seahawks defense? I have my doubts.
I don't think that they can.
I have my doubts.
I think Seahawks defense is— they were— they beat the Patriots despite having 10 men on the field for most of the game. It's just outstanding stuff.
He's still running?
Yeah, he's still running. He's still running. I think, I think the Seahawks are absolutely, they deserve to be number 1 in the power rankings.
They do.
They're an awesome team. Great defense. McDonald is like a genius. He doesn't get a lot of the same credit that the offensive guys get. But I think the Cardinals, Cardinals, great, great showing week 1.
Yeah.
Awesome showing.
And they might not be as bad as we thought. I think this is going to be a little bit of a harder Harder game, although Cortez will be there. Home opener. Did you see Mike LaFleur? He has like your worst nightmare, Hank. His quote was, all I can see is Seattle. He can't see anything else, just Seattle.
That's understandable.
It's an episode of Frasier going on in his brain right this second. I'm excited for Drew Lock to get another chance.
Me too.
Just fucking wing it, Drew Lock. Just be it. Just do it.
He's feisty.
Just fucking do it. Get out there and fucking throw it around. Yeah, this game will— it's not America's Game of the Week. We also have Dolphins-49ers, not America's Game of the Week. 49ers -13.5, over-under 45.5. The nicest thing I could say about the Dolphins, they stayed on the West Coast.
Smart.
That's all I got.
A little vacation format there. I just had one thing about this game. I think that we all expect the 49ers should beat them.
I would say so.
Even given the crazy travel schedule that they've had to deal with.
Yep.
Fred Warner, crazy that he's back and playing and playing at such a high level. Did you see the video of him from the Rams game?
Yes.
Where he's in the huddle and he goes, hold him up. I'm going to punch the rock. I'm going to get the rock if you hold him up.
Oh, I didn't see this one.
I saw the other one. Yeah. So there's 2. There's 2.
The one where he launches himself across the field was one of the coolest things ever.
He sprints across the entire field and launches his body and hits the rock. the shit out of the ball carrier. And then there was another one where he tells his boys in the huddle, like, you hold him up and I'm gonna punch the ball out.
Oh, there we go.
And then on the next play, uh, he does exactly that. Holds him up and Fred Warner punches the ball out. Fred Warner, he is now— I think he's number 1 on my list of guys that we need to respect more.
Yeah, as a society. Go down, let me— let's see this. Play it.
Y'all just hold him up for me. Y'all just hold him up for me.
I'm gonna find it.
Stafford shouting instructions.
So he did it right after.
Stafford drops straight back.
Stafford throws.
Check down Higbee. Drake Greenlaw there to tackle him, but it's a first down for the Rams.
That's incredible. Called his shot.
Yeah. So he's, he's number one. We need to respect Fred Warner more. It's like him and golf cameramen, I think, are 2 people that are just by far super under-respected. The, uh, not you, Max. I'm talking about real cameramen.
Yeah. Pug.
I wasn't referring to myself. I was just agreeing with you that like finding the ball in the air. Yeah.
I don't know how that happens. Pretty crazy skill. The, the him launch, Fred Warner launching himself clip is incredible.
Yeah.
Superman doesn't care. Just going for it. All right. So the 49ers are going to win. 49ers are going to be good. Stay healthy. That's basically the 49ers question.
13.5 is a lot of points. It is for a team that That flew back from Melbourne.
I watched a lot of that Dolphins-Raiders game because I had the over in that game. Dolphins couldn't move the ball like at all. It was, it was tough. They were in some long down situations. It was not— I just don't know where anything comes from.
No, I don't either.
Yeah.
Okay.
Like, I want to take the Dolphins.
I really do.
Like, this is a, this is a spot that any other team I probably would bet on the underdog, but I didn't see anything.
Yeah. All right. Game of the week. Commanders-Cowboys PFT. Cowboys -4.5, over-under 50.5.
Yeah.
What are we thinking?
I'm thinking it's, it's almost a must-win. Oh, this combined with next week. They're both 50% must-wins.
Okay.
Yeah. We got to at minimum go 1-2.
Okay.
First 3. I'd like to go 2-1. I'm feeling good about it. I think the Cowboys defense stinks. I don't know what they're going to try to do to recover over this week. I don't know if it's fixable, but their defense looks worse than it did last year somehow.
I'd agree.
And our defense looks a lot better than it did last year, which I was, I was really happy about. Granted, there were some chunk plays, but if you take away those chunk plays where Mikey's controller got unplugged, I think it's, I think it's a different game. And I think the defense is leaps and bounds ahead of what we saw last year and younger too, which is great.
Hank, your boys.
I think the Commanders are gonna roll this game.
Really?
Yeah.
Is it because of what we taped in Advisors?
Yeah. Yeah.
What happened?
Jerry and Stu were just trashing the Commanders to the point that I just was like, I have to take them.
That's what I'm saying.
So I just took the Commanders. I was like, I have no choice. The way you guys are talking, you have, you have, you have Monday's paper on Wednesday. Yeah.
Week 2 is also tough because it's like you don't don't, you know, you genuinely don't know how good these teams are or not. Everyone's talking about the Giants like, oh, the Giants could be a really good team. The Cowboys might just be really bad.
Yeah.
And the Giants might not be that good. They just beat a really bad team. This week we'll know for sure. Like, I'm not gonna assume that the Cowboys— that the Giants are really good and the Cowboys just lost to a better team. I'm gonna take the opposite stance and assume that both teams were bad and that the Commanders, you know, the Eagles are good and the Commanders almost beat them. Commanders are going to beat the Cowboys.
Yeah.
Although Dak against the NFC East is insane.
Yeah. And the—
it's actually like bonkers. He's 20-1 straight up as a home favorite versus the NFC East. He's won 20 consecutive games outright in this spot.
He's a good player.
That's insane.
I am a little concerned about their 2 top wide receivers. One of them is probably going to get matched up against San Francisco. still, which they're calling him Mikey Stand Real Still right now, which is—
No, Frank Fleming.
Unfortunately, it's a really good nickname for him after last week. Yeah, but, uh, Dan Quinn actually like called him out publicly, which he's never done before. So he might get benched. I don't know what's gonna happen with that, but that does concern me. We'll probably give up some points. I think Jaden, after he felt like he was free to run last week, he was a different quarterback after that spot, um, because The Eagles did a great job, to their credit, of taking away everything downfield, and he didn't want to use his legs and run. And then once he started to do that, it felt kind of like old Jalen. So I think this is— it's going to be a good game. I think both teams' defenses are probably the weak links, definitely with the Cowboys. And I think the Commanders offense is going to take a step forward. I love Antonio Williams, by the way.
Okay.
Antonio Williams, great, great rookie wide receiver. I put in a bet on him to win Rookie of the Year too. He had, he had a pretty good game last week, but he was always open and he's going to be a fun player to watch.
This is going to be a fun game.
Yeah.
I'm going to have fun watching this game.
Yeah.
And I think that people are like, like people are just saying the Commanders stink and the Cowboys. I, I, I'm taking the 4.5 in this game.
I'm sick of games of the week, though. Bury me. Put me back where I belong, like where nobody can watch me in the noon slate.
Yeah.
Hank, do you have a hungry dog?
Uh, after last week—
No, no, no, no, you don't get to do this.
Yes, I do.
No, you don't.
Yes, I do.
No, you don't.
Yes, I do. No, you don't. Yes, I do.
No, you don't.
Yes, I do. Yes, I do.
Yes, I do.
Yes, I do. Yes, I do. Yes, I do. I never did like the hungry dog.
I never— so here's the—
here's the claim.
Thursday, Hank is getting a— until Hank is saying last week, want to do hungry dog?
I never do.
It's not like I always talk about the hungry dog.
I talk about it, but I don't have it locked in.
That's your entire brand is the hungry dog.
I'm on Hank's side here.
I promise you, he never finalized hungry on Thursday.
I promise you this.
I will have— I have my advisors' picks Wednesdays, I have my college football picks Wednesdays. I don't complain about that. But you do, you bitch about it constantly. That's true. It is bullshit.
Well, hey, but that's the thing.
It's fucking bullshit.
Hungry Dog has to come out one time.
No, no, no, no, no. Here's the issue is usually when we ask you about the Hungry Dog, you'll make sly little smiles and like hints. And this year so far, you haven't even like done your coy little smile.
What the fuck are you talking about? Last week I had it straight up on Thursday.
And then, and then one of I'm giving us the—
what you might do in the Hungry Dog. No, no, you have to do that. You've always done that.
That you have done.
Yes, that is bullshit.
Commanders will definitely be in it.
Oh wow, what if Jayden Daniels doesn't play?
Then he— then they won't be.
So then you can't say definitely.
If Jayden Daniels is playing, the Commanders will definitely be in it.
Jayden's gonna play.
Okay.
I like the Bengals.
Oh, you mean 5?
5's playing.
I like the Vikings.
Okay.
And I like the Giants, but I don't know.
Wait, the Giants are Monday.
Yeah.
What if you're going to add a Monday?
I have before.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Wait, so who do you have?
He has the—
I will have 3 teams.
Bengals.
I'll put it out on Saturday.
Vikings, Bengals, Commanders, most likely. And maybe Giants.
Or maybe Jets.
Or maybe Jets. I like—
I love the Jets.
What about the Titans?
Maybe Falcons. Oh, you're a Strand boy.
Only if Strand plays though. If Strand plays, I'll play.
I'll ride.
Also, the Jags. Jags seems like the biggest sucker pick of all time.
I'd agree.
Like, of all time.
Yeah, I'd agree.
So I'm gonna stay away from that.
What about the Colts?
Uh, no, I think the Chiefs are really, really good.
All right, so Cardinals. Oh, Cardinals.
I think that Seahawks are really, really good.
Colts-Chiefs is last game. Chiefs -6.5, over-under is 47.5. I don't like the Colts.
I don't know.
Not personally.
I just don't. There's nothing that gets me excited about the Colts.
Yeah. I mean, Jonathan Taylor. Yeah. Jonathan Taylor.
That's it.
Great running back. Alec Pierce.
What, Max?
I like Alec Pierce.
Even Jonathan Taylor. Jonathan Taylor is really good, but he's like a really good, like, He's not like a flashy running back, I feel like. And I guess he's a Badger, so you like that about him.
Yeah.
But how badly do Colts fans just want to just like wipe your— what, like clean your whole house?
Get—
just start fresh. You guys have been doing basically the exact same thing every year since Andrew Luck retired, and it's just— no, no, no team franchise ever been like devastated by a retirement. more than this.
They still talk about it. Yeah. Like, where were you?
It's crazy.
It is their like JFK assassination moment.
I'm just—
everyone remembers where you were.
I'm just bummed watching the Colts. So I, yeah, I'm gonna probably take the Chiefs in this game even though it's probably the square side.
It probably is the square side. Rashee Rice, he ranked 75th out of 75 wide receivers for separation in week 1. I have to think that they're gonna The Chiefs offense is going to have to run through Kenneth Walker until they develop some sort of other chemistry later on the season. Because I don't think that Rashee Rice is going to be the guy.
Yeah, I would, I would say so.
But the good news for them, it might not matter. They might be able to win plenty of games before the offense kind of like gels into final form at the end of the year. I don't know. The Colts might be one of those teams though that looks so bad in week 1 and Chiefs Big win, looked awesome. Primetime week 1. This would also be one that I might, I might flip around and take the Colts.
The, did you guys see that Keenan Allen, he blew a 0.224?
Yep.
If you found, so the closest Major League Baseball team to the Indianapolis Colts is the Cincinnati Reds. On the Cincinnati Reds, taking out anyone who has under 100 plate appearances. So 100 plate appearances and more. There are 8 players hitting below Keenan Allen's BAC.
That's pretty impressive.
It's similar to 8 players hitting below .224.
And nobody hits .400. Yeah, that's just not a thing that can happen anymore. No, the Iowa chick.
Vodka Sam.
Vodka Sam.
Shout out Vodka Sam. Legend of the game.
Much like Ted Williams, who'll never— no one will ever do it again.
Look her up.
Yep.
It's a different era she played in.
But yeah, that's a significant BAC.
Touching tribute to Mark Sanchez.
Yeah. Colts are 1-8 since trading for Sauce Gardner.
Memes, don't do the shrug at me.
You can't have it all, memes.
You can't have it all.
Marshawn Lynch just had a bad night. He tried to fucking stab a guy in his car like an old man.
He also isn't just a Jets quarterback. He was also a Redskins quarterback. That's true.
And an Eagles quarterback.
And a Bears quarterback.
And a Bears quarterback. Look at us.
Yeah. All right. So I'm allowed to say it. I'm allowed to say it. Because that night he was my guy too.
It was all of our guys.
That's why I said it was a touching tribute.
Yeah, but 1-8. Do you like that, Mims?
I love it.
I think the Colts should tank this year.
Yeah, maybe get like—
nope, the Jets have their pick. That's why I'm saying that.
Yeah, I know.
Maybe they, they should just tank all the way. Tank all the way.
Tank.
That would be awesome. Mark Sanchez wasn't— I think he was just a training camp quarterback for the Bears because I don't think he ever— I don't remember.
Yeah, he did live with Kyle Long.
Yeah, no, I know. I don't think he— I can't remember if he ever got into a— I don't think he did. I think he just was there before the season and offseason. He was, you know, you need— sometimes you need a veteran quarterback in the room who's ready to go.
So I asked, I asked Steven Che to send me some facts about the matchups this week. And last week I did a, the most boring stat of the week. I think I have my most boring fact of this week and it's this matchup. Okay. Both mascots for these 2 teams, the Colts and the Chiefs, have similar shaped tummies.
Oh, it's correct.
It's a correct fact.
Yeah, no, they kind of look similar.
It's a correct fact. In fact, I think they might be related somehow.
I don't know how the lore goes, but they do like the hula hoop like move. at field goals.
But yeah, Steven Che is right. The stomachs look almost identical between Casey Wolfe and— oh shit, what's the Colts mascot?
He is blue.
Blue.
Blue.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Even that's boring.
Yeah. Just, just the color.
They're both just trying to be the fanatic and they're not.
Do we have Seth DeFlow's song this week? Has he dropped it?
You see Seth DeFlow quote tweeted us in the cave singing a song.
Yeah.
Yeah, he loves the boys. Just getting down with it. I do not think he's dropped it. This is our Colts. Yeah, he wasn't happy. It's been tough for Seth to flow. It's really hard.
What? What?
What does that picture say to you?
I was wondering that too.
It says, man, I wish I was with the boys and the Colts lost. I would be like, suck it. No, no. I think he was like, oh, the Colts lost.
It wasn't the most passionate Yeah.
You think he was saying something bad about us?
Genuinely, that face, I could not tell.
No, I think he was saying like, man, that's kind of like a— no, I think he's saying the Colts, like, they stink. I'm sorry, guys.
It could be any— that face could be anything.
I think it could be, I wish I could hang with the boys.
Like, man, if only I could be there.
Open invite to Set the Flow to come to Barstool Chicago for a Sunday stream. Would love to have you watch Colts game with us.
Yep.
It's got to be a big Colts game. But yeah, come more than welcome to come up and be on the—
in the gambling cave. The face combined with the fit combined with the angle. It's Glenny Balls adjacent.
Yeah.
It's the look that I'm seeing from him here.
So Seth, yeah, just drive on up. I'll pay for your gas.
What is— what do you think the line's going to be this week for This Is Our Colts against the Chiefs?
Oh, I don't know.
Something about Taylor Swift.
Yeah, maybe.
Yeah.
Yeah, swiftly kick their ass.
No, no, no, he'd have to apologize for that.
Swear, he'll swear.
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Did we get any touchdowns? Did anyone score?
Yes.
Aaron Jones.
Aaron Jones. Okay. So who had Aaron Jones? I did. Okay. So you're in, Hank.
Who was—
I don't know.
You want to— you want me to be out?
No, I'll be out.
Okay. I'm gonna take Kittle. Our guy Kittle afternoon.
Okay.
I'm gonna put this on the app, the DraftKings app. PFT.
I'm gonna go I'm going to go with—
can also do night game.
Jeremiah Love.
Jeremiah Love. Okay.
I am going to go Javonte. Javonte Williams.
Okay.
Game of the week.
Game of the week.
That's kind of mean.
That is mean.
That's fine.
Yeah. I mean, there's one touchdown.
It's a little mean. All right. Our picks. I think I'm the only one who went 0-2, lost by half a point with that. Malik Willis should have gotten safety twice in a row. Max, you're up first. Lead us off. Picks.
I am going to take— let me— I was— I'm going to take the over in the Broncos-Jaguars.
It's fun over.
And that number is—
You're not taking the Bears-Vikings. You're autoing.
No, I'm going to take them in real life, but I'm not— I can't, I can't just auto it on this show every time. Over 45.5 Broncos-Jags.
Zach?
I'm going to take the over in the Saints-Ravens game at 46.5.
Okay.
PFT?
I'm going to take the over in Bengals-Texans, 46.5.
I'll take the Saints +8.5.
I'll take the Commies +4.5.
There you go.
Good pick. I will take the Panthers-Falcons over at 43.5, and then I will take the 49ers -13.5.
Whoa.
I will take the under in Bears-Vikings.
Okay.
Weather.
I will take the over. No one took the over in the Commanders-Cowboys game.
Nope.
I'll take the over 50.5 in that game.
I will take the New England Patriots -5.5. Okay.
I'm going to take the Eagles -7.
And I'm going to take the Jets +3.5.
Does Glenn Tape Watcher have a pick?
Yeah, he thinks that a lot of this stuff is correctable because when he watched the tape, there's at least 6 touchdowns that were left on the board where if you catch it, he's still running. So that would be like a massive cover straight up on the road.
Still running. All right, let's get to our interview. We got Chris Goddard up. Awesome interview. He's in AWL. Uh, he came in studio, one of those dudes, he's instantly one of those guys that we're gonna have being a recurring guest and, uh, root for.
We'll get back to part of my take in a minute. It's brought to you by TickPick. Some people get 4 seasons a year. Football fans get one. It just kicked off. Don't waste a single week of it. Don't waste a dollar on service fees on tickets either. TickPick has never charged fans any service fees, and they never will. That means the same seat that you'll find on competing ticket sites costs less every game all season. Your tickets are backed by their Buyer Trust Guarantee, 100% authentic and 100% on time every order. And fans really love this, this app. So you can read the reviews, see for yourself. Take a look at TickPick right now. I got TickPick out on my phone right now. Jets versus Packers this weekend. Uh, cheapest ticket right now, get-in price, $89 right here on TickPick. Good deal. TickPick's the way to go if you're buying tickets for football. You're going to want to use TickPick. Don't overpay for the same seat that you'll find on other ticket marketplaces. Download the TickPick app, never pay another service fee again. New TickPick customers take $20 off your first order, promo code PMT20.
That's PMT20 at checkout, get $20 off. your first order with TickPick. They are the best. This episode's also brought to you by our great friends over at Body Armor. Body Armor— got the water right here. All the boys staying hydrated. The Flash IV is delicious too. It's packed with electrolytes. It delivers faster, longer-lasting hydration. No artificial dyes, no artificial flavors, no sweeteners. Whether you're training, traveling, if you're feeling the heat, or if you're cheering on your team, Work hard, hydrate hard with BodyArmor Flash IV. You can grab it at 7-Eleven. It's delicious and it works. And now here is our good friend, PGA golfer Chris Goddard.
Okay, we now welcome on a very, very special guest. He is going to be defending the pride of our country coming up at the Presidents Cup at Medina. It is Chris Goddard in studio. Chris, we're taping— I don't actually— don't know when we're going to run this. We might run this the week of the actual Presidents Cup. We're taping this early September, and I hate to have to start in a non-golf way, but was that the most embarrassing football game you've ever watched? Rutgers losing to UMass?
Thank God I was in France and I couldn't watch it. But I woke up. So like the game just started when I went to bed and I woke up and it was like 1,000 messages like, oh, it's over. Like, it's, it's a tough—
Can you say that you're Like, dude, I'm a Sooner. Like, I'm not—
I can claim both. Thank God. Like, if COVID didn't happen and I didn't get the transfer to Oklahoma, it'd be a rough— yeah, rough go.
But yeah, it's probably bad podcasting because Rutgers could have like 3 or 4 more like terrible losses.
No, Luciano's turning around. He's there for the long haul.
I'm not going to comment, but it's, it's, it's— it was a dark first week. 0 and the season's over is not a good Did you watch the fireworks? I can't believe they, they set those off.
I think you have to. You paid for them. Yeah.
You can't just save them.
Andy Staples made a good point. It's like sky go boom. That makes you happy. Yeah. No matter what.
I think that like the game wasn't even the problem. It was the fireworks after that really like put the nail in the coffin.
People are just gonna be like, why are they still talking about this when we run this in late September? But no, it's good to have you here. And we're excited for the Presidents Cup. How are you feeling? Is this redemption for getting left off? You got snubbed. I think, I think you should, you should honestly do the Mark Wahlberg, like, things would have been different if I was part of the Ryder Cup team. Does it feel good though? Like, hey, this is where I should be now. I'm getting a little of the recognition, like playing in this, these type of tournaments.
Yeah, I don't, I'm not gonna say I got snubbed, but I will.
You got snubbed.
But no, it's funny. Like, I'm actually, I've gotten to know Keegan pretty well over the years, and he was a big He's an assistant captain for the team this year, and he was big on like keeping me in it all year and wanted me— any questions I had. And to be a part of the team this year is sweet because when I first— when I started the year, that was— this was my goal. And to be here is a lot of fun.
That would have been really funny if Keegan walked up to you as assistant captain, been like, just so you know, if I was captain, you wouldn't be on this team.
That would actually— that would make me laugh.
Yeah, right. Just rattle you a little.
Why do you think you didn't get captain? get picked for that Ryder Cup team? Because I feel like you're a guy that, like, you, you can compete, and I feel like you're a guy that obviously has a lot of pride in, uh, competing for the country. You're right up there.
Yeah, I think, I think I just didn't have a great playoffs. Like, I think I finished like 50th in Memphis last year and then like 35th in a 50-man field. Like, I just didn't, you know, I was, I was hot and then kind of cooled off. And it's hard, like, unless you're playing really good as a rookie, it's hard to like pass someone that has a great record over the years. And, um, but yeah, this year it was, it was, I wanted to make the top 6, but I'll, I'll, I'll take a captain's pick. What, yeah.
What makes the difference between, uh, just a really good golfer and a very good match play golfer?
I honestly don't even really know. Like we don't play enough match play to even say like, these are really the only times we play match play. So I think just, you know, you gotta be able to be on an, I mean, golf, we're on an island the whole time, but But you got to be able to go out there and if, you know, you got to be able to take a couple punches and, and stay in it. It's easy to kind of just, you know, you get 2, 3 down and it's like it's over because I'm running out of holes. But you just got to stay in it as long as you can.
Is it— are you looking forward to that aspect of it? Because it is very funny, like how we, like the audience, the fans— golf, it's a very social sport. It's like you're going out with your friends, you're drinking, whatever. And then for you guys, you're just totally on an island. So it doesn't feel nice to have like actual teammates for once and like, this is, this is something we can bond over.
Yeah, that, that's the part I'm looking forward to the most. I mean, it's funny, like we're all very individual, but when we're off the course, like we're in the locker room and we all share like physios and stuff and we're all hanging out in the locker room, you know, making fun of each other and shooting the shit. So it's, it's a weird dynamic. But yeah, I think that, that part I'm looking forward to the most. just, we don't even know who like we're gonna be paired up with partners-wise and stuff. So I think that's kind of why we're here early to, to get out and, and see some of that stuff. And, but I'm looking forward to the whole thing. I know Chicago in, in September, it's gonna be a lot of fun.
Yeah. So is the format gonna be, like, is alternate shot gonna be the second?
I think that's the second day.
Okay.
I don't, Presidents Cup's different than Ryder Cup cuz there's like 4 days where Ryder Cup's 3 days. And I know we start with best ball. I know we're doing that.
Yeah.
Um, but I don't know, I forget. There's like, I think it's best ball, alternate shot, best ball, alternate shot, then singles.
Singles at the end. How stressful is alternate shot for you? Because when we do our stupid little competitions and we do alternate shot, it's the worst. It is just mentally, it's a grinder. You don't want to like disappoint your teammate. It's, it's way more pressure.
Yeah.
Than just playing for yourself. But at the professional level, what's the mentality for alt shot?
Yeah, we play There's a tournament in New Orleans that we play, the Zurich Tournament, and that's all shot 2 days, best ball 2 days, and it's the worst. It's like the last three holes are all water, all like you can hit in the water so easily, and you it's the worst feeling in the world. And and like I'm on the other side too when my partner is playing, and I don't care. Yeah, like I know he like I know he doesn't care either, but if I do it, yeah, it's like the worst feeling. You're letting like Like, you know, guys' families watching and you just like snipe one in the water. And it's just the— it's the worst feeling ever.
It is weird because you do have to remember, like, treat— what if you treated yourself like you would treat your teammate and like kind of like forgive yourself for a bad shot every now and again?
Yeah, we had a rule, both the guys that I played with, we couldn't say sorry the whole time. Like, that was like one rule. It's impossible. You break it the first day.
We did the—
I don't know if you saw, but there was like a huge grudge match we did last week. No big deal. It was like huge. And I said so I would say sorry as I made contact with the ball to Ryan Whitney. I'd just be like, I wouldn't even be in my backswing or in my— I wouldn't even be feeling my swing. And I'd just be like, my bad, Whit. Sorry. Like, you're going to have to deal with this.
Yeah.
Like, fucked it up again.
I remember my buddy Quay, we played the last day and his caddie at the time, it was like the last hole and I hit it like worst spot possible. We like said the whole week, do not go here. And I hit it there. And his caddie was like, he got it up and down, hit an insane shot afterwards. And his caddie afterwards like, dude, we told you not to hit it there. I'm like, it's over. He got up and down. Like, you don't even have to say— you didn't have to say any of that.
Yeah. Who are you tightest with on the team? Is there like someone that you would— not that you want to be like asking to be paired up with, but like someone you've played a ton of golf with or know really well?
Yeah, me and Bridgeman played Corn Fairy together, and we've come up the last couple years, and we— his wife and my girlfriend are friends, and we stay in houses all the time. So I'm probably best friends with him, but I play with all the guys a lot. I play with Windham, I play with Pat, Xander. I mean, we play, we play all the time. So I personally don't really have like a preference of who I play with. I'm sure they've got all these algorithms or whatever that'll put it all together, but to get you guys all—
yeah, that's the thing is like, I feel like you, you can't go algorithms. You got to go with vibes.
Yeah, I think alternate shot, you have to go with like who you're going to be okay with out there. And if something goes south, to not get mad at someone.
Isn't that like a thing? Wasn't Tiger not like in Ryder Cups? Did I make that up? As like a partner, he would like— his teams didn't do very well because like— and people were like, it's because the pressure the other guy would feel.
Honestly, that's probably true.
You gotta be wired differently to probably play with Scottie because like, you're You're like, oh, I don't want to fuck this up. I don't want to fuck this up.
Yeah. I mean, there is pressure playing with those guys because you're like, I have to perform right to a high level to match their high level. But I think, you know, I think Scottie's different than Tiger too because he's much more normal, I guess. Yeah. Even though he's not normal. But yeah, I know Tiger's record is like not as good as you would, you would think.
Yeah.
I'm looking at his, his record in the Ryder Cup. This could be incorrect because it's the AI overview, but it says 13, 21, and 3. Yeah. Ryder Cup, but then the Presidents Cup, 27-15.
So he's—
We always win the Presidents Cup, which, by the way, do you feel like you can't lose the Presidents Cup? You know that. I'm not trying to put pressure on you, Chris, but like, you cannot lose. We haven't lost the Presidents Cup in like, what, 2 decades?
21 or something like that.
Yeah.
Yeah. You can't lose. It can't be my first team and then lose and then I'm done forever.
We'll never let you live that down.
No.
Yeah. We hopefully we will.
No pressure.
Yeah, no pressure.
Do you think— what is it about the state of Oklahoma that just brings people and turns them into good young golfers?
It's so windy.
Is that it?
Yeah. That's a great answer.
It's like every—
the only, only answer.
Every good golfer at some point has stopped in at some point in their development process and done at least a year at Oklahoma.
Yeah.
When I, when I transferred there, I— it was like the biggest culture shock of all time. Like from New Jersey and New York to Oklahoma was like shockingly shocking. But it was so windy every single day. I remember like they were like, oh, it's nice out today. It was blowing like 25.
Yeah.
And that's seriously got to be the reason why. Because if like in the wind, you can tell if you're playing well quickly and if you can't figure it out, it's going to be a long day.
Gets you ready for, for the Open, for the Scottish Open and the British Open a little bit.
Yeah. Those are like my 2 best tournaments that I've— that I enjoy playing. And it's probably because I went to Oklahoma.
Yeah, that was— that was kind of your, like, breakout, wasn't it? The Scottish Open when you shot 61?
Yeah, that was probably my, like, step from, like, PGA Tour to, like, all right, I'm going to be in all the signature events. You belong.
Yeah.
Yeah. What was— was it something that, like, clicked? Because I think I was reading it like 2025 starts. I think you missed missed 9 out of 23 cuts, then Scottish Open happens. You play that 61 second round. And like from then on, it was kind of like, all right, he's arrived.
Was it—
did something click? Was it— I wish it was like, you can answer and be like, yeah, I watched a YouTube video and like, or I changed the position of my hands a little bit.
I know. I wish because then I would have done it 4 years earlier.
Yeah.
No, I was playing good up until then. And, you know, a bunch of like top 25s and top 20s and stuff. but obviously nothing to that magnitude. And then I kind of, I don't know, something that week I just felt good. And, um, and then the last round I played with Rory and no one there wanted me to win that tournament, like doing anything they could, as polite as possible, to get me to not win. I remember we were on, I had like a 2-stroke lead on 16 or something, and the rules official came up and gave me, only me in the group, like, uh, put me on the clock. And like, we were all like in our group, like, what the hell is going on? Like, we're all, we're right behind the group. Like, this is weird. And then I, you know, to overcome those things and then to win that tournament was kind of like, all right, I did, I just did something that I hadn't done before against a really good field. And that was when I was like, all right, I kind of, maybe I'm better than I thought I was.
Yeah. That's awesome.
Do you think that overall pace of play is too slow?
Yeah, yeah.
I'm—
I mean, in time, I think, you know, Sunday it should kind of go out the window if you're trying to— if you're in the last couple groups trying to win a tournament, you know, within reason. But Thursday and Friday are the worst.
Yeah, especially like if you're, if you're having a bad round, at least play fast.
Those are usually the rounds that you play faster because you're just like, I want to get the hell off this course.
Get off the golf course. Yeah. What about, um, do they make it available to have a drink at the turn? Is that possible?
I'm sure if you really wanted to. I don't think it's allowed, but I'm sure if you really wanted to, you could definitely manage that. But I don't think it's allowed.
Just like one drink and a hot dog.
Just like, sure, like if your coach or wife's there, they can run into the clubhouse and grab something and bring it out.
Yeah, that's what I would do.
Yeah.
What, uh, so you, you like, you're from New Jersey. You started by playing— when did you first start golfing? 12?
No, like 3 or 4.
Okay, so but your first sport was lacrosse, right?
Yeah, those were both like— I always played golf, but lacrosse, like, I didn't take it seriously until like high school.
So lacrosse and golf. So you, you— and you are white?
Yeah.
Jersey kid, lacrosse and golf.
I love it.
You know, you didn't want to throw in like—
that threw me off.
But all right, so you're 3 years old. Like, when were you like, all right, this is actually like a future for me.
Honestly, like, well, it depends what you like. I think there's steps of like, I want to play in college. And then when I was in college, I was like, alright, I'm gonna do this as long as I can see what happens. And then not till like my junior year when I was All-American, I was like, alright, I'm actually like, I think I started my freshman year, I was like 600th. And then I got down to like 200. And then I was like 10th. So I was like, alright, I'm beating kids that are going to be turning pro.
Yeah. All right.
Maybe I can do this. And then COVID hit and the whole thing got flipped around.
When were you, when were you first scratch?
Probably like 13 or 14.
That's crazy.
That's the crazy thing where it's just like, you, like, if you think about it, like I've been playing for 10 years at that point.
I understand, but still 13 years old scratch golfer is insane.
What was your game like as a 4-year-old?
I don't know.
I just remember I don't remember, but my parents told me we had hit in the backyard and I ended up crossing like the boundary of our backyard into our neighbor's yard. And then I got upgraded to the golf course.
Yeah. What about—
so do you remember like the first time you shot in the 70s? Were you like 10 years old?
No, I think the first time I broke par was like I was 13 or 14. See, like you can be a scratch and not shoot. Yeah.
Yeah. But that's still Yeah, that's awesome.
Were you, uh, were you a late bloomer in terms of like growing?
Uh, no, I feel like I've always been—
When'd you hit puberty?
Well, no, because that depends on which way growing, you know. Yeah, I'm interested to know, like, if you're that good as a kid playing golf and then your body grows, I assume that there's a lot of stuff about your swing that has to change.
Yeah, I've never— I was never really like tall or anything, so—
Same.
I've always been average. Yeah, average height. So Nothing really changed, honestly. I was like, I was huge in high school my freshman year. Like, I was like 250, 260.
Powerful.
Yeah, yeah. And then I lost like £40, and then I honestly started playing better. So maybe there was something to that.
But yeah, maybe the boobs get out of the way.
Still a problem a little bit.
But that's— I mean, dude, but that's being a scratch golfer at 13. That's so badass. And also, you like at the time, so what year was that? How old were you when you— or what year was when you were 13?
Like 20, 14 years ago.
So, okay, so like 2012. Yeah, that was— that still wasn't like— golf has become a very popular sport.
Say it's badass. It was not bad, right? Then, yeah, right.
You were kind of like, yeah. And it's funny to think about, like now if you're 12, 13 and you're a scratch golfer, you probably have 2 million YouTube subscribers.
You're probably making Half a million dollars.
Have you thought about that? Like that if you were— if the timing was different, like you might have just been a YouTube golfer, like a sick YouTube golfer instead of—
I can do that. I don't think that's my realm of— I don't have the— I don't have the personality for the camera.
Yeah.
Would you be able to like fist pump? You hit a big putt on 18 to like tie the course record for a camera and you just fist pump and you start screaming, yeah, yeah, let's go, let's go, let's go.
My friends and everyone around me would have a lot of questions about what I was doing. Yeah.
How many of us in a scramble would it I know.
Well, I mean, it depends on who's like— I know, like, you know, Hank and PFT play a decent amount.
Is this on camera or off camera?
Off camera.
That's also a big— okay, then I think, I think me and Hank could take you.
No chance.
Just off camera. No chance.
No chance.
What's the difference between off and on camera?
Off camera.
They're so bad.
It's about 20 seconds.
Strokes. Yeah.
No chance.
I mean, like 10 of us.
I would say like, I don't know, because my brother's like a 3 and I would say I think I can beat like 4 of him.
Okay.
So close.
Like 20 of them. Maybe not even.
Maybe it depends where to like, if you're playing an easy course, I think I have a way better chance. If you're playing a hard course, I think you guys have a better chance.
But still, that's, it's probably, I mean, how far What's your average drive distance?
Like 320.
All right.
So yeah, we actually— the answer is probably infinite. None of us are going to hit it 320.
Well, the thing is, like, if you play a harder course—
Max just pretended he's like, well, I mean, I straight—
I could get it there.
I said 320 straight.
It doesn't have to be every hole. I don't do it every hole.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's a weird thing because it's like you just have to have enough to make pars. But if you make a bunch of pars, it's not going to win you, right?
Like, I think it might be like— I think the answer might be 50. 50 of us.
It's like everybody step up.
You need a guy that's a scratch. That's what you need. Yeah, right.
Like, we don't have those.
Someone's got to become a scratch here.
Everybody step up. Everyone try to hit the ball as far as you can off the tee. I think that one of us gets that.
All you got to—
all you need is one.
Would that be the worst or best YouTube video ever? It would be 50. We get 50 shots versus you.
I actually— I would almost guarantee— I would guarantee that we would beat you.
Like the David Shittacock video.
That would be actually kind of funny. Kind of funny.
Yeah, I would guarantee that we would beat you if you gave like this entire office against you.
Yeah, because that'd probably—
you would get so pissed off. Oh yeah, we'd ice you out for sure that you would, you would quit after like 2 holes. You'd be like, this is stupid, I hate golf.
2 hours in after the second hole.
We should make the video where we pardon my take, it's 50 shots against Chris Cottero. 9-hole video, all day video. Oh my God, it would take forever. So yeah, because you know we would not like even if we had a sick shot on our third shot, we'd be like, well, we might as well use the other.
Yeah, you have to use the rest to see what the best one.
I guess we would, we would hit every putt. 50 putts, you would, you would, you'd hit most of them.
I don't know if you saw the chances.
It's, it's, I, I really, it's such like a weird thing. I have no idea.
We might have to do this. We might, we might have to pay you to, to sit there and deal with a day's worth of work.
How sick would that be though if in, in the Presidents Cup or the Ryder Cup there was one event that was a 4-man scramble? Like, how low do you think you could go?
I wish that— I wish that the Zurich tournament, that's the best ball. I wish they did a scramble day because like, I would like to see what the number would be.
Yeah, that'd be amazing.
Just if guys shot 53, like, it would be awesome. I don't think it would happen, but like, yeah.
Who would be the, the 3 that you would want to compete with on your team in the Presidents Cup if it was a scramble?
Scotty. You got to have like a, you know, I would say like Xander, I'd probably say like just off the top, like Scottie, Wyndham, Xander, and me, because they're all like, Wyndham can bomb it, I can hit it far, and Xander makes every putt, and Scottie's Scottie. So yeah, you'd think between the 3 of them.
Yeah.
You think you guys could break 50? No, I don't think so. What if it happened though? How sick would that be?
What, uh, you could YouTube channel that.
What happened when you whiffed on that shot?
I, I was sitting there for like a minute trying to figure out how I'm going to do this.
Okay.
And I, I was like, all right, I think I finally— I just need to hit it like 2 feet.
It was a weird angle.
It was like 3 trees and then me in the middle. And I had like— I kept spinning in a circle to try to figure out how I could do it and I couldn't figure it out. And At the end, I was just— I was talking to Brady, my caddie. I'm like, I'm just going to go for it. And I, and I missed. And I was like, are you fucking kidding me? I just whiffed. Like, that's literally what went through my head. And then I just like putted it out.
You handled it perfectly by going on Twitter and being like, it was— I was like, give me that clip.
I was laughing after because I was like, I've never done that. And it was so ridiculous because I was just sitting there the whole time trying to figure out how I'm not going to whiff it and just first try.
Wait, so you'd never done that before?
Not like in a serious tournament.
Like, does it ever happen when you're practicing?
Um, you get like weird lies when you try stuff at home. Yeah. You like go underneath it or something.
I was just saying it happens to me like 3 times around. You just got to be like, oh, practice swing.
No, that was a first for me. And it was funny afterwards, but I think I ended up— I made like a mess of the hole. I hit it over in the right shit and then the volunteers are clearing everyone out and I'm, you know, it's taking me 45 minutes to play this hole.
The level of injury I would have pretended to have after that Yeah, after that whiff shot would have been unreal.
Definitely a hand.
The problem is the video too. It didn't even look like I hit the tree. It looks like I just like I clipped it on the way down. But yeah, it was a tough one.
Yeah, I remember. Didn't your coach— you said something in an interview after you had a big win that your coach hit you up right afterwards being like, I'm not that impressed. Show me your progress that you're making this week.
I don't— I mean, probably. I think, you know, we're always trying to you know, find the next best thing that I can, that I can improve on. But I don't know, I feel I have like 8 coaches, so probably, probably someone in the group was saying something like that.
Do you have to send them updates, like show them your swing, be like, hey, here's what I'm working on this week?
Yeah, I mean, my coach will come every once in a while out there just to kind of like do it, but I need to figure it out on my own too sometimes. So we have a good mix of that, and I'll send videos and stuff, but usually I just send them I'm always working on like the wedge stuff. So there's like this TrackMan combine thing that I do and I have to get like positive 1 to, to move on to the next thing. So that's usually my update and then I can go to my next thing.
Have you thought about after hitting a big shot, just like pointing and like raising your hands and pointing and raising your hands after every shot, like pointing at different people in the crowd, telling them to get louder and then telling them to shut up and be quieter?
I have a little bit. I haven't thought about that. I guess if I I guess this week you could maybe do that. But yeah, no, I haven't. I haven't gotten there yet.
No, it's next level swag.
Yeah, I don't have that.
A few people do have that.
Yeah.
Your dad speaks Danish, right?
Yeah.
How do we know you're not a spy?
Because I can't speak any Danish.
That's a good answer. That's a good answer. That test.
Yeah, we were in Oklahoma and Victor— Victor's Norwegian and he was there. And my dad comes out and he was like, he started speaking Danish to Victor. And I'm like, oh my God. Like, my dad— Victor's never met him or anything. And I was like, this is— this is not—
Victor, no.
Yeah, I guess they're like, they're all intertwined.
Yeah.
And I was— I was like, he's like, your dad might be a spy. Yeah, he could be. Yeah.
But you're not. No. Okay.
I'm not.
I like that.
What are the most famous things that Denmark is known for?
Legos, probably.
Yeah. Yeah.
This is probably why you were left off, because the President's Cup is not against Europe. This is why you were left off. the Ryder Cup. Keegan, I thought you were—
I could have been on the other side. I should have just— I should have gotten Danish citizenship, an exemption switched for a year.
That would be cool if you were just like— if you won, would you be the first ever to win on both sides of the Ryder Cup?
I think once you pick one, you're—
it's it.
They won't let you—
because like Sepp Stracke is like the most American guy ever, but he's Austrian.
I love John Rahm. Like, should I— I honestly think like John Rahm, obviously Spanish, but But if you go to Arizona State, you're American. Yeah, that's like, that's the most American school we have.
And Strakos, is he Bulldog? He might be like a Georgia guy.
Yeah, he's Georgia and he lives in like Birmingham.
Yeah.
And he plays for the European team.
Yeah.
His quote was, I'm 100% Austrian, but I'm also 100% American.
Yeah.
He's got like a Southern accent too.
Yeah.
So yeah, there's, there's Legos, Morten Andersen. I'm trying to think what else comes from Denmark.
I feel like they have like They have some, I guess, like, I think they have Big Cheese. I think that's a big Danish thing.
Yeah. Big Cheese. Yeah. What's your favorite course?
Probably Pebble Beach. Yeah. Yeah. It's probably like if I had one round the rest of my life by myself and no one was out there, that'd probably be my—
Yeah.
And what's your favorite hole?
7.
Oh, mine's vagina.
Mine's mouth. 7's a good hole. 7 actually is a really good hole.
It is. My hips are taking My take on Pebble is I like 8 better than 7.
8's sweet.
What's your favorite hole? Not like picking a course, just in general. Like, you can't pick one. No one likes one number, like, you know, teeing off, the jitters in the tee box.
Oh, you're saying like, yeah, okay.
I was—
yeah, pick one hole. I think you trick question. Yeah.
No, no, no.
Like 15, 16.
Okay.
In a tournament, I was saying like 7 or 8 might be mine. Like, those are the worst. 7 through 12 is like you have no idea where you are in the round. It's kind of in the middle.
11 through 15 is where it's like in the middle of summer.
It's as hot as possible on those holes.
So 16 might be the answer.
Yeah.
You're like, all right, if you're playing good, you're like, you know, in the mix and it's getting louder. If it's going bad, you have 3 holes left. Yeah.
You're like, I can, I can maybe fix it here in these last 3 holes.
Yeah.
Or I have 3 holes left and I'm ready to— yeah.
It's like if you're a marathoner and they never train to go 26, they just let adrenaline carry them.
Yeah.
They say you get to 15, you can make it. You make 18.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm— I basically only play 9 holes of golf every time. Not—
oh yeah. Then 7 is the equivalent of 7.
Yeah. Perfect. Yeah. Yeah. And then whenever I play 18, like, no matter what, I'll find water on 10, even if there's no water, just because, like, my body's not ready for—
Yeah.
An extra—
Another 9 holes.
Yeah, I can't do that. Not built for overtime.
Yeah.
Yeah. All right. So the— like, you're going out this week to play the course. How much of when you're golfing are you really, like, studying every piece of the course? And like, is it— is it as detailed as I would imagine it has become?
Yes and no.
Is that your caddy?
Yeah, caddies are doing more than we are. We're— they go out, we'll play 9 holes, and they'll go out afterwards and they'll do like 4 or 5 of them and go out and take some golf balls. And like, you know, if we're playing a course with grain, they're checking like where the slope is. So like, you know, for if we have a shot and the pin's tucked in the back, you know that it'll like skip over the back if you land it back there or something like that. But when we're out there, it's more of a just see what club, like driver or 3-wood off the tee, kind of that feel, or where to chip from and like what's bad and what's okay. So it's more— they do more of the heavy lifting in that department.
Is your caddie a good golfer, I assume?
Yeah, he played at Arizona State.
Okay. So is he ever like— is he like, man, that kind of— does he get to play the courses? Is he going to get to play Medina?
I think they were playing today. I don't know if he brought his clubs or not.
Yeah, that would kind of drive me nuts if I was a really good golfer and I just have to watch someone else play golf.
Yeah, but I think like, I don't know, I like some of these coaches and stuff will go play and some of the caddies play like every week and I feel like I would have no energy to go play golf after caddying. But yeah, I think when they're home and when like, I know when Brady's home and he's, you know, got some time off, like he's playing golf now and stuff like that.
Has he ever beaten you?
No, we've only, we've only played like 3 or 4 times. It's kind of funny, like we spend Yeah, more time together than anyone in my life. And I've only played golf with them like 3 times.
Yeah.
Do you— who do you think has the best caddy in terms of who the best golfer is?
I mean, probably Sungjae's caddy, Will Wilcox. He played on tour for like 5 years.
Yeah, we know Will.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That would be—
we should have like a tournament.
Yeah, there should be.
There should be a— we've talked about this. There should be a caddy player like alt shot tournament. Like, like legit tournament.
Or even like let us like let us down after Matt. Like, there's nothing sadder than like Sunday night, the Masters, you're like, oh, another year. Just have the caddies play a tournament, like 36-hole tournament on Monday. I watch that.
I've always said that there should be— they should pick one person, random person, every Monday of every tournament, like whether it's YouTube or something, send someone out there and they have all day to play. Like, yeah, you have to go like fight to the death, normal rules, and see what they shoot at.
Yeah, Hank would like to volunteer for that job.
That'd be a great job.
What do you think? What do you think a golfer like Hank would shoot on, on like, let's say the Masters, let's say Augusta Sunday pin location?
Augusta, I think, is like, would be an easier— like, I think if you send someone to like Torrey Pines or Shinnecock. Yeah, like Shinnecock.
What would Hank shoot? He's like a 16 lefty, right?
I mean, if you, if you gave him all day, I think, and he had the like normal rules, I mean, it'd be in like the 115 range, probably at best. Probably.
What was the thing that you said that you would shoot? Remember, what was it that was like 120?
Oh yeah, yeah. I could break 120 at Augusta on Sunday.
Like with the fans?
No, I mean just like the course. Me versus the course.
I mean, 120 is pretty high.
Like, I don't know, from the tips.
Yeah. The problem with Augusta is It's like not scary off the tee. So like you can get it around. It's just by the greens, you could literally play ping pong forever.
Yeah.
My theory on that was just that if it's— I wouldn't be able to do it every time, but I think that maybe 1 out of 10 times I would break 120. I think I would live in like 120, 130.
That's definitely a possibility.
No, it's not. It is not a possibility. Do not throw him this bone.
You sound like a—
I mean, can he chip and putt at all or no? Yeah.
He stinks. I'm a really good putter.
If you can't chip and putt, you have no chance.
Yeah. The putting thing is tough.
The putting—
tough after Wednesday.
I mean, I would pinch myself in for a 3-putt on every green.
Probably 3-putt would be— you'd be 120, no problem then. But you'd have to actually 3-putt.
Yeah.
Yeah. Ball in cup.
Yeah. That's the problem. You get a 5-footer and then it lips out and it goes 15 feet and you're like, can we say gimme range?
Like gimme range.
No, no, no.
Hell no. Yeah, probably not 120. I just think once you're talking gimmes, so probably not 120.
Once out of every 10 rounds, I think I'd be able to break 120. You catch a little bit of fire.
Also, I don't think you're catching fire if you're trying to break 120 either.
Yeah, it's relatively speaking, 119 is not, oh man, I caught fire.
Yeah, I got really hot in the middle of the round there.
I also think that shitty golfers like us, we might have a little bit of an advantage in doing that because we're used to playing bad golf.
It doesn't affect us. I think the problem is if you're going out there trying to shoot 120, you give yourself way too much like leeway. of making like 8s when you can probably make like— you're like, oh, if I just hit it over here, you know, there goes a short. Like, it's got like— yeah, you get to 120 way too quick, probably.
Yeah, burn up all the leeway in the first like 6 holes. And then, yeah, I guess a lot of times when, when guys like us play golf, you know, we're, we're not writing down anything higher than a triple.
I think at Augusta too, the front 9, you'd be like, all right, I'm doing pretty good. And then you get to the back 9, you're like—
And what are the distance on the par 3s?
They're not long, but they're real— like, you can make Like 12, you could be up there the entire day, right? Like, and like 15 is impossible.
Yeah. Did you, did you have like a one shot once you got to the PGA Tour? Like one golf shot that you hit and you're like, that is, that is the best shot that I've ever hit my entire life?
This year at Torrey Pines, I hit a sick shot on 13, the par 5. It's like 640 or whatever, and I hit driver and then I hit a mini driver to like 2 inches. It's pretty good. Yeah, that was a good one. That was probably the best. That was probably like, I mean, a lot of luck, but that was probably the best shot I've, I've hit on tour.
Yeah. Yeah. Also, least meaningful, we should say your sister's a badass. She's going to flight school.
Yeah, she's leaving on Friday.
Yeah, I would never. Absolutely not. Where is she leaving on Friday?
Pensacola.
Yeah.
Damn.
Yeah. She just She's got a hat. Yeah, she's— I don't know where she got it from. No one in my family has got any of those genes.
That's pretty damn cool.
Yeah, it's cool. My dad's always like, if you, you know, he wants to go up in the plane with her, I'm like, no chance.
Yeah, what kind of—
More of a lacrosse golf guy.
I'm a jersey lacrosse golf guy. She wants to fly fighter jets.
Holy shit. Yeah, thank her for her service for us. I will. Please. Yeah, that's awesome. Hank, you got some questions for Chris?
Sure.
By the way, you're, you're, you're the man just in general. Like, I was— we obviously— everyone I think here has talked to you offline. But it was funny because I was like doing a little light research that we don't really do much research. But they were like, Chris Goderup is known for being chill and unassuming. It's like, yeah, that's a fucking chill-ass dude.
New Jersey lacrosse.
Yeah, you nailed it. All right, go ahead, Hank.
Favorite non-New York and New Jersey state to play golf in?
I mean, probably California.
If you, if you could take— if you could have one shot in your career back, what, what shot would it be?
Hmm. NCAA Championship, hole 18. I was in the lead and 3-putted the last hole.
Oh, Which putt would you take back?
Probably the first one that I hit 15 feet by.
Yeah.
Damn.
Yeah, that was, that was a tough one.
So did you finish second place?
I finished like, it was like a 3-way tie for first. I finished fourth or whatever.
Dang.
Yeah, that was a tough one.
Yeah.
And then what, like, how, you know your swing obviously, but how often and how, how, how long did it take you for you to like stop?
How long were people like trying to fix your swing where you're like, just stop I've worked with the same guy for like 15 years, so we haven't really. It's like from when we started to now, it's changed a lot, but it changes. Like my swing last year compared to this year is different, but it feels the same to me. So like it's always kind of changing. It just as long as I can do what I like to do, like cut or draw it, then I don't really care what it looks like.
Is it weird to set up and just like look at like the trees and be like, all right, this is This is right.
Yeah. I mean, I don't, my eyes don't go where my body is. Like I'm left eye dominant, which is like, I guess not common in right-handed golfers or whatever. So like my eyes go way more right than my body does. So like if I ever put a stick down on the ground, it looks like it's aimed like outta bounds, right? So I always have to shift my body left so my eyes look straight.
Whoa.
That's crazy.
That's kind of wild.
You ever thought about switching to lefty?
I've, I've tried practicing lefty before. It's not good. I know, I know. Hank's got a— this is actually impressive, honestly. Well, to be the same, to be the same level of—
well, no, to be just close.
No, no, no, no.
Close enough.
Close enough.
My disparity from left to right would be 100 shots.
Yeah.
Also, he does putt righty.
Yeah, that— I feel like if you're committing to lefty, you just got to go Full lefty.
I just had so much mental stuff going on. I wasn't like— putting is a long— it's such a grind to like— I would have to putt so much to get back to what I was at.
But you could—
but maybe that's a winter thing. That's a winter thing.
Yeah.
But you could switch to full set lefty, but putting is where the line is drawn.
Well, also sometimes driving, sometimes driving righty, sometimes like a 5-wood. And besides that, he's—
I played with this guy in Florida one time. He had half his set was lefty clubs and half his set was righty clubs. And he shot like that. He shot even. It was sick. It was the coolest thing ever.
Hank, you didn't want to— have you had any conversations, Chris? You probably can't talk about this, but have you had any conversations with Live 2.0?
I think I listen to the show all the time. This is the best bit of all. It's the best bit ever.
See, fuck you, Max.
Yeah.
And do you want a Four Aces head cover?
They sent me like—
I think the guy—
they were emptying out the shop.
They, they literally sent me like the biggest box I've ever got in my life with like 150 head covers.
Oh dude, if you rocked a Four Aces head cover, that'd be very funny at the, at the President's Cup. Yeah, I'm just an AWL Twin Thomas.
Yeah, I know. I have not had any contact.
Well, don't talk to Hank for too long because he'll try to get you.
He'll, he'll—
they should—
Hank could be playing ambassador.
Yeah, he could be playing for the Four Aces next year.
How mad would you be if like a hypothetical upstart league, like let's say we started a golf league.
Yeah.
And we're like, hey, we want to pay you a bunch of money. You got to leave the PGA Tour. You can wear shorts. And guess what? You only have to play 54 holes.
And then are you guys going to switch it to 72?
And then after 2 seasons, we're like, you got to wear pants and it's the same amount. How mad would you be at us?
I would be pissed. That was the deal breaker.
Yeah.
The money wasn't— the money didn't matter. Shorts.
Yeah.
How— so how much do you hate Max? Because he is a Philly Philadelphia scumbag.
I— the videos and all the stuff of Max is the best.
Yeah, but he is—
My friends are like— New Jersey's weird because you get like half— you get some Boston thrown in there, you get New York, you get Philly. So like, I actually support the Eagles because one of my sponsors is Lincoln Financial. So, okay.
What team do you root for?
I'm a Colts guy.
Oh, you're Colts?
Yeah.
That's so depressing.
That backfired for you big time.
Yeah.
But yeah, PFT will like this. My agent was really good friends with Irsay and I wasn't a fan of anyone because like fantasy and my dad was Browns fan. I was like, I'm not doing that.
That's smart. See, that's what you have to lead with, by the way. You have to be like, I'm a Colts fan because my dad was a Browns fan.
Yeah, he picked the worst. He was like, I'm going to pick the worst team 20 years ago when he first started and they've been—
Oh, he really did. He nailed that.
Yeah, he's been in the dumps for 20 years.
He fucking— yeah, like, credit to him to be like, I'm gonna pick the worst team.
He sticks it out too. Every Sunday on the couch, just— we went to— they went— my brother and him went to the game last year against the Jets. Yeah. And it was like worst game of all time, raining. And I think the Jets returned a punt to win like the last second. And it was just like the perfect, perfect Sunday.
Yeah, I remember Johnny Fant was at that game. He gave us a boots on the ground report.
Yeah, it was like the worst game of all time.
So as a Colts fan, where were you when Andrew Luck retired?
I was not a Colts fan at the time. And I was probably, I don't know. I'm a Colts fan as of like 3 years ago.
Okay.
Okay. What shifted 3 years ago?
You're like, oh, I liked it. The fact that they keep bringing in old quarterbacks. This is a team for me.
No. So my— Matt Ryan really, Matt Ryan really put me over the line. No, we were so like, Ursae bought this course and he wanted golfers to come out and play it. And I guess now that he's no longer with us, I can tell this story. But my agent was always telling me these crazy Erceg stories, and I was like, you're full of shit. Like, there's no way that's, that's true. And then we go out there and he wants us to play this course, and it was me and JB Holmes, and I was on the Korn Ferry at the time. And we get out there, we're practicing, getting ready to go, and Erceg rolls up and like, he looked like the Undertaker. He had like full, full getup set up. And he goes, all right, change of plans. $100,000 cash, you versus JB. We're all gonna watch.
Oh wow.
And I was like— and I like, I'd not made near that ever. And I was like, the most nervous I've ever been on a golf course was like this stupid match that was supposed to never happen.
Yeah.
And I ended up bogeying the last hole and lost.
Lost.
But, uh, that's so awesome.
Did he have a suitcase of cash like on the green?
That's so awesome.
And he said— so like my brother was there and my agent was there and there was like probably 30 other people And, and he, he said, all right. And then if someone could pick the score that they're going to shoot, there's another 10. Like, it was the craziest shit ever. And so, like, he picked us up on Colts plane, took us to the game, like, sat in the box. It was just him and us in the owner's— like, so he had his own box and then the family has their box and he sits by and sat by himself and watched the game.
That's awesome.
It was, it was like the most— and then we had dinner at his house. It was— and he showed us the whole, like, memorabilia thing.
Yeah.
What was the coolest thing he had in his house? Well, I mean, he had some great stuff.
Yeah, honestly, the coolest thing at his house was the ice rink that he had. He had, he had a full-blown ice rink. So I guess one of his grandkids is a hot— and they homeschool the kids at the ice rink, and that's where they go to school, and then they practice there.
That's awesome.
It was epic. I mean, it was like the coolest coolest. It was the craziest shit ever. He had like Elton John's piano from Live Aid in his living room.
Unreal.
Yeah, I mean, we—
I wish—
It was awesome.
He was—
he couldn't have been— he couldn't have been nicer. He literally— I mean, he was like— this was a year or two before he passed, but he just hopped on an ATV and started driving us around his house showing us the whole like property. It was crazy. So then I was a Colts fan.
Yeah, he did. He was one of those guys who did doing like being rich correctly. Yes, it was like, I'm just going to have fun and do fun shit and buy anything that sounds cool and watch people play for a lot of money playing golf.
He just used to walk around with just envelopes full of cash, just give out. Yeah, you look like— I would do that.
Yeah. Wasn't like COVID, wasn't he just like throwing cash out his car at people to like give small business?
I don't understand, like, like people who have like billions who don't do that. Like, if I were a billionaire, I would be like going out and like getting like a sandwich, like like a $10 sandwich and tipping like $2,000 and just be like, whatever. I like make people's lives.
I heard he played golf one time. It was like he played like 5 holes and tipped his like 15-year-old caddy like $6,000. And like, it was just like, it's just crazy shit. But like, in a not like, not in a like, yeah, no, no, no, no, nothing about it was like, yes, it was just like, I don't need this. You can use this.
It'd be, it's like the question of like, it means more to you than it does to me.
Yeah.
That's, that's, that's awesome.
No, he was—
it was awesome. He was the man. And then after I won my first event, he sent me like a thing. I have a card from him that says like, congrats on your first win with the Surgeon from him. And then it's got my name on it, Cole's jersey. So that's—
yeah, we have the banner. Yeah, I love—
by the way, I love the video that you tweeted out when you were announced to the Presidents Cup team.
Yeah.
With just all the American shit on it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Did you make that yourself?
Was that— I I don't make any of this stuff myself, but I talk— so there's this kid Jake who's probably my age, and he works for the tour, like social media, like for us, for the tour. And he, he's my guy. He does everything. Like, he makes all the sick stuff. And I was like, we— I saw a video on Twitter and I sent it to him, and I was like, if I make the team, we got to do this mixed in with whatever. And he was like, done.
It's an amazing edit. Yeah, because it's just like bears fighting sharks, dinosaurs.
Yeah, you NASCAR.
So Plains, you, New Jersey.
Yeah, I'm pumped for this.
Very excited.
I'm gonna try to come out for one day.
Do you have a— do you have a tracker? A Gator Up tracker?
I've seen— yeah, I don't know who it is, but I've seen it.
You haven't made it until you have multiple trackers that fight each other. Yeah, that's when you're really like, who's— who is the most recent one? What was the most recent one?
It was Golf Twitter is crazy.
What was it? Jackson? No. Is there a Jackson guy?
There was a super—
yeah, there's super trackers fighting and I love that. And then there's like always this one, one tracker who like will be like, oh, I can't track like the Thursday round. Have to go to like middle school. Yeah.
Like some 35-year-old with kids.
Yeah. They leak in like some stuff about their personal life every now and again.
Yeah. Like them playing golf somewhere. Yeah.
I just can't I came here for the facts.
I wish I knew who— like, it's actually better that I don't know, but they are like hysterical that someone has the time and care to go out there and do that stuff.
Because I think that if you have, if you have a tracker, I've got a couple rules for the tracker. You have to be 100% dedicated. Like, you can't be— when you put the word tracker next to your name, yeah, like that's your gig. You're signing up for the long haul. You can't ever editorialize and be like, oh, my guy's not playing good this week.
Yeah, I'm busy this week.
Yeah, just the facts. Unless it's Siwoo Kim tracker, in which case we have an exception for him.
him.
But I saw that back in 2025, our guy Brooks Koepka, his tracker threatened to leave Brooks Koepka and become a Goddard tracker.
Yeah.
Which I think that's—
I think you could—
yeah, you have to disavow that.
Yeah, that can't happen.
Your tracker's pretty good. I'm scrolling right now. He's doing a pretty good job.
Yeah, I've seen the— I've seen like, it's— I don't know who it is. So it's, it's impressive that they care that much.
Yeah. No.
And they're, they're Like they said, I think I get like a weekly update of like, yeah, well, all my tournaments for the year. I don't even need a stats guy. I just use him.
Yeah.
He said he ended the season. Thank you all to all the Godheads who showed up every Thursday through Sunday in support. This is only the beginning and I can't wait until next season. But first, the President's Cup. Yeah. Yeah.
I guess we're Godheads now.
Yeah, we are Godheads. I'm going to follow this.
I got to be too. I got to, I got to get on it.
All right. I want last question. Rowback question. rhoback.com, promo code TAKE, 20% off your first purchase. Q-zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. rowback.com, promo code TAKE. Thanks for doing this, by the way, Chris.
We were—
like I said, we've all been following you.
Big fan.
I know you've listened, so we wanted to do this for a long time. It's awesome.
Yeah, thank you for having me.
Yeah. All right, Zach, you ready?
Oh, yes, sir. I did have a quick question. I was gonna run a couple things by you to add to non-competition golf, and if you were in or out on them, is that Okay, sure, go for it. Awesome. The first one I got here is a water hazard is a 1-stroke penalty unless you 1-putt the green.
Out, just because it's complicated.
Okay, second one is all-you-can-drink pass at the pro shop.
In. Yeah, that's great.
Third one is barefoot as an option if the course is in warm climate.
Yeah.
And then last one. gonna be something you can kick at the turn. Would you be into that?
Like physically kick something?
Yeah.
Oh, I, I like that.
I mean, yeah, I sure am. Yeah, if it's going that bad, you should be able to take some— take it out on something.
And then a quick follow-up, if that's cool. Do you find yourself doing a lot of like tinkering and adjusting with the clubs throughout the season, or you just kind of set and forget it in the bag?
No, we're always— every single one of us is always always every week doing something, whether it's small or big. We're always— whether it's lead tape or changing lie angles, uh, we're always doing something.
That's great to hear. I'm excited about the lead tape. Thank you for saying that.
Yeah, I love all the heavier club, you put some lead tape on it.
All the gear that's out there to like fix any developing golfer's mindset or just like prey on their insecurities. Yeah, I love all the like random suits.
It's also like all at Home Depot too, which Hilarious. Yeah.
What's the weirdest piece of golf instructional equipment that you've gotten?
I got this— actually, I use this band, like a therapy band, and I'll wrap it around myself and you can hold it so it keeps my swing tighter. So it's just like a therapy, like a random therapy band that I found.
But you use it for muscle memory?
Yeah.
To keep your arm tighter?
Yeah. Traces your swing better. Like, I don't know how to describe it without having it on me, but it's a, it's a weird thing that it feels good to me. I like that. Well, everyone's got all sorts of crazy shit.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, Chris, best of luck. Win this for America. Would love to— anyone, any of the other guys who want to stop by the week of the Presidents Cup, we'd love to have them. Zach can get them ice cream. We just get them hooked up.
That could be a selling point.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But, and I look forward to one day doing the 50 shots versus Yeah. Scramble video that we'll have to plan.
We'll have to do some serious planning.
Yeah.
It'll take like 16 hours and it'll be unwatchable, but it would be an interesting, like, could we beat you with 50 shots?
Yeah. We'll have to find out.
All right.
Thanks, man. Thanks, guys.
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All right, Firefest of the week. Henry, what do you got?
I don't got much.
Yeah, you had a good week.
Yeah, foot's recovering.
Good for you.
Nice.
Car getting fixed.
How's the garage?
Car fixed.
Garage fixed.
Haven't got the bill yet. Don't know how bad I got banged, but they told me it wasn't bad.
Still driving a chick car for now.
Mm-hmm.
That's fine.
In the process getting rid of it.
Yeah.
How are you gonna get rid of it?
Sell it.
Okay.
Trade it in.
You sell it to memes.
Leave it. Leave it. Leave it with the key inside at a farmer's market.
$4.
Meme still has to give it to Zach for $4.
Meme still hasn't fixed the car that I gave to Hank for, for $1.
Hank gave Meme $2,500 to take his car.
Yeah, but I gave Hank my car.
$2,499.
That was only like 7 years old for a dollar. Then Hank gave it to Meme with cash to get it fixed, and Meme still hasn't got it fixed. What, 4 years ago?
He just pocketed— he just, he just pocketed $2,500.
This is a big money laundering scheme we got.
Yeah.
It's a great car.
Yeah.
Mazda makes— they made a good car with that one.
It's a new charity, Cars for Men.
Yeah.
Me and Zach gave it a new tape job.
It's looking good.
You just have tape on your bumper.
A new tape job. Love it.
I had a lice scare. That's not an issue.
What? Lice? Lice?
When I went—
Lights or lice?
Lice.
Lice.
Oh my God.
I went away with—
What are you, a 6-year-old child?
I went away with my family.
Did you leave your backpack in a sandbox?
With children.
out with Clay Travis, and they live on separate sides of the country, and they both got lice. So like, my sister was like, you got it. Like, she was kind of freaking out because like, we're going to a wedding this weekend. She's got it. You got to get checked. You got to get checked.
You got to get checked.
She was freaking me out. No lice.
Speaking of Clay Travis, do you see like the— like maybe the most erotic headline ever for him just got posted?
No.
At age 52, Ichiro just threw a 127-pitch shutout with 17 strikeouts during an All-Star Game against the best high school girls in Japan. He's gonna love that.
Oh yeah, there's— that's another 10 years of content.
Uh-huh.
Ichiro is— he might be the most addicted to baseball guy of all time.
He is. The thing about that though is I believe that Ichiro could still play in the major leagues.
Yeah. Do high school girls in Japan play baseball?
I don't Well, they might.
Do you see—
I mean, each—
like, I, I feel like if it was the best high school softball girls and he was throwing soft— like, I don't know that softball players are necessarily gonna be able to like hit.
The guy can't stop playing baseball. I love it. He just loves baseball. He's addicted to the sport. All right, so no lice?
No lice.
No lice.
Clean bill of health.
Clean bill of health.
All right, no bugs?
No bugs.
Okay. Uh, RIP See, I had a little thing this morning. I had a pretty good week too. So not a lot to complain about. But Blake's had ear infections. He gets ear infections like every 4 months. I don't know what it is with this dog. But every time he gets them, have to take him to the vet. They have to put him like all the way under to clean his ears because it's so painful that he won't let anybody get close to his ears. So every time he gets put under and then when he comes back home, he's like a little bit groggy and he has to poop real bad for like the next 2 days. So, on Thursday mornings, I have to wake up and do Wake Up Barstool. So, I set an alarm. What I like to do is I set an alarm for about usually 5:45 in the morning.
Okay.
And then, I pop my daily dose of Adderall right there at 5:45 in the morning.
In Blake's mouth?
No, we share sometimes.
Okay.
No, no, I pop it myself and then I go back to sleep for a little bit. Then, I wake up at around usually 6:15, 6:20, And it starts to hit as I get to the office so I can skip my first cup of coffee. I feel like I'm awake when I get to the office early.
Yeah. Adderall.
Adderall.
Exactly. Hank invented that.
He did. It's a great tech. And Listerine.
Yep.
And Barbara Cuffalo.
Yep.
Yep. By the way, Listerine is just an insane invention.
Yeah, it's absolutely so insane that it still hasn't happened yet.
Yeah.
It's like it's in beta.
It's like a speedball that you can get at CVS. So So, that was my intention. So, I put my little pill out on my bedside table last night before I went to bed and I fell asleep. And, since Blake is having these stomach issues, he woke me up in the middle of the night twice. And, the second time that he woke me up, it was about 2:30. When he woke me up, I don't remember this, but for the first 15 seconds, I was in deep REM sleep.
Mm-hmm.
So, I open up my eyes and I'm operating like a zombie. I end up taking him downstairs But then I come back up and I lay back down in the bed and I have a really hard time falling asleep. So I end up— I take my phone out and I end up like organizing every single app on my desktop into like little different, you know, like you have different homes for each of them, like apps within apps.
Yeah.
So I do like an hour's worth of desktop organization on my iPhone, which is very unlike me. I'm like the least organized desktop person ever. And I just can't get back to sleep.
I don't think anyone's ever called that a desktop, by the way.
Yeah.
Well, that's—
I think that's what they call it when you're putting it into the different files, the different apps into the files. So I'm like, what the hell is going on? I can't get back to sleep. No, this thing doesn't matter. Okay. What do you call it?
He shook his head no.
What do you call it?
I don't think it's called desktop, but maybe screen.
Okay. But there's like 5 different— there's like 4 different ones that you swipe over.
I thought you were talking about a computer the whole time.
Most people did.
Yeah.
The desktop. Desktop is home screen, whatever you call it. It's irrelevant.
Yes.
No, it's pretty relevant.
It's irrelevant to the story. Bottom line is I stay— I'm awake for like an hour and a half and I'm like, this sucks because I have to get up for Wake Up Barstool and I'm, I'm ruining the only like, you know, small amount of sleep that I have for this night.
Yeah.
And I, I looked over to my bedside table and I guess the first time that Blake had woke me up to let him outside to poop. I had interpreted his barking as being my alarm. And in the REM sleep, I popped an Adderall. Oh, at like, probably 1 AM.
Oh, this morning. That's brutal.
And so then it did hit me the second time I let him out. And then I was up for like an hour and a half organizing the desktop on my phone and not realizing exactly what I was doing.
That's—
so then I just couldn't get back to sleep. So I've been awake since about 1 AM because of Because of my, like, sleep pill taking.
That sucks. Yeah, that is brutal.
So, yeah, that was a tough, tough way to start the day.
Yeah, I have like a— I have a bunch of books on Kindle that— because like I get woken up all the time by my kids, by Stella, whatever. So I just have like emergency boring books that I just hit instantly and I'm usually back asleep by like in like 5 minutes.
Just knock it out.
Yeah, just like start reading and just be I'm like, and I always like, I'm picking it up at random pages, so I don't even know what's going on. Yeah, it's just the act of reading the words. Okay, my Fyre Fest. I got 2 quick ones. First is a pre-Fyre Fest. I love my boy Max. I love my boy Max. I actually said in our book that if I could just watch Max exist—
Where is this going?
It would be like the— I would be happy because I just find him so funny and I love him to death. You love me, right? We love each other.
Well, I'm waiting.
Okay. No, it's not a bad thing.
To be determined.
We, as of right now, Max and I have a 6-day date next week.
Yeah. Oh yeah.
That is going to be hell for our friendship.
Oh yeah.
If the playoffs started today, there's a lot of baseball to be— a lot of baseball. But if the playoffs started today, we would have Saturday Wisconsin-Penn State, Monday Bears-Eagles, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Phillies, Cubs. It's gonna just be— and I love you, that's why I don't want, you know— well, right now, crescendo too. I was thinking about it last night because it's like, it starts with like the one that like either of us could lose and be like, all right, I'm willing to give you that.
Yeah, no, I'm willing to give you that one.
And then, and then just goes up and up and up and up.
Yeah. Yeah.
We got PFT.
Have you guys thought about doing tattoo bets?
No, too many games.
Yeah.
What do you mean?
No, not for every game, for the series.
No, I mean, I'll get another tat. Yeah, I will eventually.
Yeah, we'll see.
Yeah.
OK, we'll see.
You got a lot.
We got a lot, a lot of, a lot of shit. But we were discussing, we were texting last night because we had to make like some pre-plans that if, if the, if the, if the Cubs and Phillies are playing in at Wrigley next week, we are going to stream Monday Night Football, not go to the game, and then go to all the Cubs-Phillies games. If the Cubs and Phillies are playing in Philadelphia, we will go to Monday Night Football and then stream the other ones. But yeah, we're just facing it. We're facing it down the barrel. My other Fyre Fest— hey, Max, I do love you.
I love you.
Yeah, we have to get our love out of the way now.
Say you love me back.
Yeah, I love you too.
All right.
I love you, bro.
But yeah, we got to get the love out of the way. My other one is that just my assistant Dom is annoying everyone in the office with his Cleveland fan fandom, like multiple complaints.
Not Hank.
Multiple complaints. White Sox Dave said that Dom was just waiting at the front, at the front door yesterday with his Guardians jersey on. He's like, he was just being nice about it, wanted to talk ball. I was like, yeah, I can't. I was like, I told him, I was like, Dom, you can't talk to people. It's so performative. I was like, either talk shit to people or like, don't go up to people being like, hey, did you see the game?
He came in Tuesday, full Guardians uniform, looking ridiculous like a toddler.
And I think he was wearing baseball pants.
He was.
He had a catcher's mitt on too.
And, and then the next— they lost that night, comes in the next day, completely normal clothes, and literally in the corner over here, go, the Cavs are gonna be so good this year. Like, moved on completely because they lost one game.
Yeah.
Then they won that night, comes back in the next day in a completely different full, like, head-to-toe uniform. It's too— you can't flip-flop like that.
He's not flip-flopping. He's just— I mean, he just— it's too much. It's too much Cleveland sports in our face.
Well, he's got to go way overboard for those teams because of the Browns. Yeah, it's like that's all he—
But he said he—
he also says this weekend's the Super Bowl.
I heard a quote that he dropped to someone that he— oh, Zoopy, who's also a Cleveland guy that works here.
here.
Shout out Zoopy. Uh, he said to Zoopy a week ago, I think we're leaving Florida 2-0, talking about the Browns starting the season in Jacksonville and Tampa Bay. He said that to him. I think we're leaving Florida 2-0.
I respect the hell out of Browns fans. I do.
No, I respect the hell out of Browns fans. It's just too nice of a guy. He's like— White Sox Dave was like basically doing the, uh, scene from The Sopranos when— with Jackie Aprile Jr., when Tony's like, put your hands up, like fight like man. White Sox fan was like, just talk shit to me. I can— I understand how to converse in shit talking. Don't ask— don't be like, hey, did you see like this player's like, you know, strikeout rate? And like, don't make conversation. So we gotta— we gotta fix Dom. We gotta—
we gotta—
I think it's performative.
Hey, it's not.
He's—
it's just he's too nice and he thinks that he— like, anyone—
Them losing a game and showing up in nothing and being like, it's— it's all about the Cavs.
Well, I think showing up the next day in a full uniform I didn't hear that part. I know that the last day was a day game. So that's why I assumed he was in uniform.
He went— they went to— and I don't even know if they won yesterday.
So he should— so it's his fault they lost?
No, he did it after they lost.
They lost game 1 and then won the next 2.
Got it.
Got it.
So then he went full uniform.
No, he went full uniform. They lost. He gave up. Came in the next day, said season's over. We're on to the Cavs. Then the next day, then came back in full uni.
I kind of—
that's very funny.
Baseball's kind of like that. That is very funny.
Baseball's kind of like that.
Yeah.
I mean, Max, you've, you've said—
I still am out on the season's over like 9 times this week. I still think it's over.
He's just got to learn how to talk shit. That's all. He'd like— I told him, I was like, Dom, when you told Hank to shut the fuck up, bitch, in the group chat, I was like, that was great.
Great.
You just got to do that.
Well, he tried talking shit to me and Zach during the NBA playoffs.
He hit us with a boom. Oh, no, not a boom.
Wade. Dean Wade boom.
The Dean Wade boom.
And then the Knicks came back and me and Zach just said boom.
Oh, he got boomed.
Oh, no.
He got the boom back at him. He's a nice guy. He's great at his job.
He's coaching Max in terms of like how to become a LeBron fan. It's not going well.
Yeah, he's great at his job, but he's got this one flaw.
I think he might be a bigger Sixers fan than me.
Yeah, he just—
He texted me today.
I think he's a LeBron fan ahead of being a Cavs fan.
I told him he can't talk to me about LeBron anymore.
He texted me today a practice, practice clip from LeBron in the gym, and he said that first low post spin move is going to hit like crap.
He's living through you.
It was a Sixers account that tweeted this practice video.
He's living vicariously through you. Oh man. All right, uh, Zach.
My firefights this week, uh, I think we've spoken here semi-recently that my, uh, the ads on my laptop were trying to convert me to Islam. That was the whole thing.
What?
I did— the ads on my laptop were attempting to convert me to Islam for a couple weeks. I don't know if we talked about that, but that's a misstep on my end. My bad. Well, well, I was going to sleep, it was playing prayers, and I would wake up and it was kind of soothing, honestly. Honestly, I didn't convert, but—
I think, I think legally you are converted.
We— as far as hours, like watch time, maybe.
Yeah.
But we got over that hump, and then this week it's been all Russian, and they're either trying to sell me a timeshare or an apartment. So I'm not sure if I'm under like cyberattack or if like my own information has been compromised. I'm really not sure where to go from here.
They tried to sell you a timeshare in Russia?
Yeah, it's— this week it's all in Russian, and it's either apartments or timeshares. I don't know because I can't speak Russian.
It could be an apartment timeshare. Yeah, the timeshare of an apartment like in Moscow.
So you're—
you are like the weakest link in our cybersecurity. Oh, and our cybersecurity is also like—
it's a lot.
Remember, remember last year I got— I got the fake phishing thing because I clicked on the Uber Eats gift card. Yeah, Pete, All Business Pete sends out. He got me and I got an email back being like, you gotcha, Zach, you clicked on something.
But I don't even know. how they convert me because I can't speak the languages.
Oh, I can't even—
I can't even bite on the hook if I wanted to.
They'll convert.
Yeah, I think you're— I think you might be halfway there.
Yeah, I'd agree.
Assalamu alaikum.
Yeah, alaikum assalam.
So, you know, that's tough.
You're right.
Yeah, you know, that was a test.
That's bad.
That's like doing shave and a haircut, man. And you, you just had to respond.
You have it.
You've heard it.
Yeah.
Damn.
Call and response.
For a while there was just— it's peaceful because it's like a soothing wind noise they play in these songs.
I think that's how they bring you in. Zach, if you convert, like, we could maybe open up an entire new frontier in terms of listenership in the Middle East.
Maybe get some of that public investment fund money.
Yeah.
Hank.
Yeah.
Dude, imagine if Mecca was just blasting Pardon My Take.
Yeah.
Zach, do this for us.
Fumble.
Brand new market. We could use that market.
Come on, Zach.
We could use that market.
Untap.
We could always use a new market.
I can try to learn Arabic, but it seems so much harder than sign language.
You should do that. You know how MrBeast does like his videos in 50 different languages? You should, after we record part of my take, do—
oh yeah.
I don't know the language, but that language.
Yeah.
I can start with the entire Intro. I'll start with the intro and go from there.
Hi, it's me.
Hi, Habibi.
Yeah.
This might not be a good idea now that we're saying it out loud.
Yeah.
Are you willing to change your name to Muhammad?
That was not on your Mount Rushmore.
Not as of right now.
Yeah.
Wait, wait. No, it was.
Yeah, it was.
It was on your Mount Rushmore.
It was on my Mount Rushmore.
Oh shit, Zach, you already started this.
Yeah.
Dude, you've already been trying to get these.
It was a number 2 pick on his Mount Rushmore.
You can't play the songs, Mike.
It's passive. They just—
You've been opening your arms already.
We need to go back and look. Not an intercourse guy. Yeah, we have to go back and listen to like everything you've said on this.
You haven't been eating a lot of bacon.
That's— I'm not really a breakfast guy.
Yeah.
Oh, okay. Pepperoni, though.
That would be tough to give up. Yeah, that would be tough. Okay, good show, boys. Pepperoni would be tough to give up. Let's do numbers.
10.
I'm gonna go with uh, I'm going with 8.
What do you think it is?
3.
7.
Oh, you just took 3?
Yeah.
5. That's fucked up.
Wow, Memes has been taking 5.
Yeah.
So I need to—
You just joined the last—
I'll take 1.
1's good. Oh hey, how about the renderings? They, they still had Jaden. The Jaden was, uh, the stadium looks sick.
The same does look awesome. Although shout out Mutt, he An excellent question about the Commanders' new stadium. Mud?
Mutt. Oh, oh, mutt.
Okay. Mutt. Um, so it's got that glass roof on it.
Yeah.
Have they thought about if you have a glass roof, won't that melt the players?
Melt them? Yeah, that's true.
Like, that could be a problem.
Magnifying glass?
Like if tiny ants—
If Jayden gets melted— I already said 1, Shane, you idiot. 15 for Shane. Jacob said 15.
Turn your fucking brain on.
31, 31.
31.
Anyone?
Anyone?
1.
1.
They're fighting back here. They're fighting. Boys are fighting. They're fighting.
Yeah.
We have mics back here and they're fighting. Remember that time we interviewed Jayden Daniels with 5 people?
I remember.
I asked him if there was too much hype going into that season. Turns out—
Why don't you shut the fuck up?
Get it, get a quarterback that can play quarterback. Jeffrey Simmons said that, not me.
That was important.
Jeffrey Simmons, I've never said it.
Oh, it's 15. Oh, 51. 51. 15 would have been awesome.
Uh, happy birthday to Henry Lockwood. Wow, the architect. Happy birthday to Ryan Sandberg, RIP. Happy birthday, Serge Ibaka. Happy birthday, Christian Pulisic. What did you— Happy birthday to James Gandolfini. Happy birthday to Xzibit. Happy birthday to Ben Carson. Happy birthday to Rick Pitino. Happy birthday to Tommy Tuberville. Happy birthday to Ronaldo. Happy birthday to Lance Armstrong. There's just one ball. Happy birthday also to Will Compton. And happy birthday To Trey Young, Ice Trey, Future. And happy birthday to CJ McCollum.
Massive birthday.
Big birthday weekend coming up. Yep.
Shout out Henry Lockwood, the account.
Henry Francis Lockwood. Yeah.
Architect.
Happy birthday, Hank. Love you guys.
The Bills open their new stadium and drop the hammer on the Lions Defense with a perfect performance on Offense. Josh Allen is playing football on easy mode (00:00:00-00:15:11). NFL Week 2 Picks and Preview for every game, we uncover a new film guy who may be the smartest film guy ever, Chargers must win, Bengals/Texans and more (00:15:11-01:36:48). We then give out a TD picks and over unders plus spreads (01:36:48-01:41:59). Chris Gotterup joins us in studio to talk golf, football, the upcoming Presidents Cup here in Chicago and tons more (01:41:59-02:30:46). We then finish with Fyre Fest of the weekYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Netflix. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/pardon-my-take