Transcript of NFL Week 3, Fastest 2 Minutes, Drake Maye Has The Yips, The Ravens Win In 7 Seconds, Witching Hour Madness Plus Who's Back Of The Week

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Trust no one and accuse everyone in Who's the Bad Guy, the official Barstool Sports social deduction game from the brilliant mind of Nick Turanyi. In what's quickly becoming the most popular new party game around, players are secretly assigned unique roles with the good guys trying to expose the bad guys and the bad guys doing everything they can to stay Stay hidden. Each game unfolds under alternating day and night phases with roles like the cool chick, the shy guy, the gambler, El Presidente, the mentalist, the planner, the funny guy, and more. Every round is unpredictable, chaotic, and ridiculously fun. Who's the Bad Guy is great for parties, pre-games, family gatherings, or groups who just love deception-based games. Game night will never be the same. Shop now on walmart.com. On today's part of my take presented by DraftKings, it's week 3 in the NFL and we're gonna get to every single game. We start with fastest 2 minutes. What's going on with Drake Maye? The Commanders win their first game, upset the Seahawks. The Chargers are sad to look at.

The Ravens score with 7 seconds left. Sunday Night Football. Then we're gonna do Who's Back of the Week, talk a little Monday Night Football coming up, Bears-Eagles, also playoff baseball this week. And it's all brought to you by our friends at Paramount Plus. Soccer fans, the UEFA Champions League is back. The world crowned its winner. Now the champions play where the best players from the best clubs collide from September to June, and every match Is Paramount. This is the world's best soccer. It is, it is, it's truly. And guess what? It's bonus sports because the, the, the Champions League, we get games on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, the middle of the afternoon. If you're living in the, in, in, you know, America, it is the best. The, the, the UEFA Champions League where the best players collide from September to June, streaming live exclusively on Paramount Plus. Let's watch some really, really good soccer being played, or football, uh, with Paramount Plus and the UEFA Champions League, where the best players collide from September to June, streaming live exclusively on Paramount Plus. Okay, let's go.

Hey, football guy. Martino.

A.W.

Harry. Martin, my take.

Yeah.

Martin, my take.

Yeah.

Martin, my take.

Welcome to Part of My Take presented by DraftKings. The crown is yours. Today is Monday, September 28th, week 3.

What? What?

What?

What? They're not gonna get him. What?

Tom's dead.

We start in the AFC North where you know it's going to be a fight club when Meet Joe Blackboro and the Bengals go into Brad Pittsburgh where they used to be a very dangerous 7 at quarterback. What's in the box?

How many men in the box?

Somehow this game was a shootout, huh? Oh, as Ja'Marrboro Chase and Tee Higgins smoked the Steelers, both going for 90-plus and a score, while Baron Trump Rodgers stood 10 feet tall in the pocket finding receivers all afternoon and proving that he is the favorite son of Mike McCarthy, who looks very, very good, by the way. Looks like he lost weight there, Teach. Good for you, Coach. The game was close until a couple of special team errors doomed the Bengals as Cedric the Entertainer Williams roughed the kicker and Keyshawn Williams-Scott said Dude, where's the ball? On a 4th quarter punt, help— helping seal a Steelers victory. Steelers 30, Bengals 27.

What? What?

What?

Wake up, Maggie. I think I got something to say to you. It's late September and we're going to Indianapolis where Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the AFC South will come The Texans, who have a track record of slower starts than a 1970 El Camino. Pause this for a second, guys. I just gotta say fuck! What are you doing? 3-6! 'Cause I just gotta say fuck! What the fuck is going on?! Matt fucking Stafford, what the fuck is the matter with you?! You're taping the boomers and the Broncos return a punt! I'm upset! This is some absolute bullshit, Matt Stafford! Oh my God! You son of a bitch! Who could have seen this coming?!

No!

The Broncos take the lead!

No!

And the punt was blocked!

No! Boom!

Seems like you had some money on the game.

It's all rigged! It's all rigged, Deej! Back to Indianapolis. The Texans have a track record of slower starts than a 1970 El Camino. The Colts took their Pierce out, and now the holes are starting to fill in in his absence with Mo Prince Ali Cox, who finally got it through his head. The offense sputtered out on long drives. As Avril Lavigne— the offense sputtered out on long drives. What the fuck? Avril Lavigne-ing a lot to be desired as Spencer Strader, boy, said, see you later, boy, I can make many more long field goals. Damn Daniel was back at it again with the fumbles, and Woody Marks put a stain on the Colts' clean sheet with a touchdown, and the Texans took the lead with 1:48 left in the 4th quarter. But our long national nightmare is over, as Sauce Gardner has first won his game in the country since 2024, and he's CJ Stroud. To be an American where Houston's 0-3, and I won't forget Keenan Allen and his extreme PAC, and I gladly stand up.

Stand up!

Indianapolis 19, Houston 17.

Great job, way to keep your composure there, boom.

This is some fucking bullshit, Cage!

And we go to— where did the Jets play today?

Oh, in Detroit. Memes!

In Detroit, Jared Leto Goff wasn't going to let the Jets break him down as he found Amon—

Amon-Ra Ra Ooh La La St.

Brown for some bad romance in the end zone. Geno Will Smith turned back the clock to find Special Agent Kenyan Suuuh dude. for a diving touchdown as Garrett Owen Wilson said, wow, this is what it's like having a QB throw it to me.

Wow.

Dan Schneider Campbell found a way to exploit the Jets defense like a Nickelodeon kid star by getting 3 touchdowns for Jahmyr Gibbs. Chuck Clark Griswold doesn't see the line and ruins the Jets Christmas by sack-fumbling Geno Smith to seal the game. Lions 31, Jets 24.

Thanks, memes. Now we go to Sad Henry Lockwood down at Duuuuuball.

We go to Jacksonville where the Jaguars and Liam Blutman-Kohn had another redheaded pumpkin fucker lead the team out with the Duuuuuball chant. In the first quarter, Josh James Cameron told his quarterback in the huddle, if you throw me the ball, I will never let go, Trevor. I'll never let go, before catching a 12-yard touchdown to get the scoring started. Jacoby Mike Myers told Trevor, throw me a frickin' bone here.

I want to score a 10-yard TD, baby. Yeah, baby.

Drake Maybe He's Concussed fumbled the bloody ball and threw an interception in the end zone to Travis Scott Hunter, who had the Patriots fans feeling sicko mode. Parker Denzel Washington scored a game-sealing touchdown and was heard saying, uh-huh, Jake. Very cool engagement, Jake. I didn't know you like to get wet, Jake.

Pitcher at 6.

Dubal. 35.

Thank you, Hank. In Cleveland, where Ryan Ella Fitzgerald said, a tisket, a tasket, a little brown ball in a yellow basket— uprights— as the Panthers tried to field goal their way out of the Browns Stadium on Sunday. Harold Dahl-Fannon was the big friendly giant as he scored Twice, as Mason Telegram lined up right of center and got 2 sacks, sending an encrypted message to all of America: the Browns are for real. The game was tight in the 4th, and you never count out Touchdown Deshaun Watson, who took a hard hit and for the first time ever reluctantly let somebody examine his head. Sex pests across America took off their fedoras in a moment of silence. Not taking no for an answer, he came back in leading his team to victory, and the Browns are now in his favorite place, on top of the table of the AFC North. Browns 21, Panthers 18.

What? We go to our nation's capital as the Seattle Pharma Seahawks are fighting off a Super Bowl hangover with more team speed than ever thought possible. But it was Washington that might have— oh, it's a fucking touchdown for the Rams! Let's go Rams! Very significant to many people. And the cartoon animated ram jumps off the screen as Kanata Mumfield takes the lead! For some people that might have 15-to-1 parlay riding on that. Back to the game. The Seattle All-Farmer Seahawks are fighting off a Super Bowl hangover with more team speed than ever thought possible. But it was Washington that might have ADD.

A Disabled Daniels Boom?

No, a decent defense. And Sonny Styles of Beyond brought 10% luck, 20% skill, 15% concentrated he's a mic, not a will, 5% pleasure, 50% pain, and 100% Commanders have a terrible name. And Sam Darnold was singing, I'm going to Jackson, I'm gonna mess around, I'm going to Jackson, look at Jackson's down there somewhere, who cashed in with 128 yards and 2 touchdowns. touchdowns, but the Commanders' offensive mastermind laid down a compilation of massive, massive hits called Blau That's What I Call Third Down Conversions. As Marcus, there's something about Mariota— has a little more white in his hair than he used to, but he can still come up big when it counts. The Commies 33, the Seahawks 31.

Thanks, thanks, uh, Tej. We now go to Tampa Bay where things are getting sad for Zach in his box. In Tampa, Riley Reid Dixon's punt sucks, fucks, and double penetrates the Vikings side of the field, landing in the hands of Miles Price Is Right, who showcases his speed throughout the Tampa Bay defenders, winning him an all-expenses-paid vacation to touchdown town. Then Baker May-June-July-August Field brings that summertime, summertime sadness, oh, whoa, whoa, to the Vikings backfield With a pass to Ted, put him in a coffin— wait, I mean, put him in a hearse! From 40 yards, catching the game to 3 points. In the second half, Kyler Jenner Murray links up with bestie Jordan Addison-Ray for the latest episode of Keeping Up with the Minnesota Vikings. It's girls' night out, 41 yards out to be exact. Touchdown Minnesota! It was all Vikings as the clock ticked on, with Smith— with Will Smith-Ryker proceeding to smack the shit out of back-to-back field goals on national television shouting at the uprights, keep my wife's name out your fucking mouth. Vikings 23, Tampa Bay 16.

Thanks, Zach.

We now head to Brazil with Max.

We head over to Brazil with Dakota Fanning Prescott, where Dakota Fanning Prescott was a man on fire to start this game as he led the Cowboys to an early 10-point lead. But let's not forget that Derrick Henry locked Henry Lockwood exists and went for back-to-back touchdowns to give the Ravens a lead. With a 3— with up 3 points coming out of half, Ravens fans were saying, gimme, gimme more, as Chris Moore scored to extend the lead to 10. But after a Cowboys field goal, Jake Fergalicious Definitious make them Ravens crazy as he scored to cut the deficit to 3. Then with 7 seconds left in the game, Brandon Aubrey Graham said, just hold on, We're going to overtime as the numbers suggest that the Ravens did not have enough time to take the, take the lead. But Chay Flowers said, fuck your data, as he converted a deep ball with 1 second left to set up a game-winning field goal. Ravens 34, Cowboys 31.

Thanks, Max!

Standing on the corner, Jameis Winston in Hoboken, such a fine sight to see.

Doug's got an MCL, so Jameis gives him hell.

And the Titans are 0-3.

Come on, Jameis!

Salah's brainless. Now it's time to use cologne.

It's 20 sprays, miss!

The G-Men 12, the Titans 7. And that is Fastest 2 Minutes from Week 3 in the NFL. It's brought to you by our friends at Chevy. Football season is here. And whether you're grinding through the week or gearing up for kickoff, there's one ride that's always game ready. It's the Chevy Silverado. There's a reason Chevy is called the heartbeat of America, and Silverado keeps that heartbeat strong. Whether you're towing, hauling, or tailgating, Silverado lets you show up strong and tackle any task with best-in-class standard torque, the most functional bed, and the advanced tech that's football guy approved. Check out current offers on the 2026 Silverado at Chevy. Okay, week 3 in the books. We'll talk Sunday Night Football at the end. Uh, we had a wild week 3. We now are sitting here after week 3. There are 3 teams that have yet to win a football game: the Miami Dolphins, which we all expected; the Tampa Bay Bucs, which we did not expect; and the Los Angeles Chargers, which we also didn't expect. So, uh, It was though, it felt like it was a lot of correction weeks starting with the Falcons winning on Thursday Night Football.

Yeah, that did happen. That was pretty awesome. Shout out Kevin Stefanski for being Martin Luther King Jr., as Bijan said in the locker room at halftime. And then you had like the games like the Steelers come back to earth. The— oh, I forgot the Texans. Texans too.

Texans.

So that's 3. That's 3 teams that no one expected.

Well, the Texans. Yeah, I guess kind of their thing.

But the Texans, Chargers, and, and, and Bucs were all expected to be potential playoff teams. The Bucs being in NFC South, they were the favorite to win the NFC South. The Chargers being a dark horse playoff team. The Texans being everyone's Super Bowl pick. And now we have those 3 teams and the Miami Dolphins as 0-3. Should we get into it?

We can get into it. Should we get into it? We got some also surprise 3-0 teams.

Yeah, some surprise 3-0 teams for sure. And some surprise— I mean, surprise teams that lost the game today, including the Seahawks, which we'll get to. But let's start with the games. We'll start with Jaguars 35, Patriots 6. Henry.

Yep.

Listen, you people were asking if we could put out part of my take early and was like, hey, we got to wait. All the sickos and perverts that were asking, kind of the same people that are asking last week when you were maybe having some fun with me and PFT and our quarterback injuries.

I was not having fun.

People, people, those same people were like, hey, where's the show? Where's the show? We want to hear Hank talk about the Patriots getting absolutely whomped.

And the same thing that I said last week, they're sick individuals. They're sick individuals this week too.

Yeah.

Sick individuals.

My point remains true.

Yeah.

Yes.

Yeah.

Glenn, is there anything— I don't know what you're talking about. Is there anything that you'd like to say to me?

Glenn, is there anything you'd like to say to me? No, no, there's not.

There's nothing that you'd like to say to me?

Fuck you.

Okay.

Okay.

I hate you.

Oh, the boys in the booth are now pointing. They're now pointing at a TV.

It's a nasty little point.

They're doing Drake turnover graphics on Sunday Night Football.

It's a comparison of turnovers last year to this year for Drake Mayen. It's ugly. He's got 7 turnovers this year.

Bad turnover luck.

Bad turnover luck, bad tip luck, as we, as we discussed last week.

Bad blood luck.

Bad not being able to see Travis Hunter in the end zone luck.

Yeah. But Hank, do you have anything to say to me in terms of— I guess we can get to that later. Well, I don't want to put you through it right now.

Well, let's talk about the Jaguars.

We can get to it later.

Yeah.

The Jaguars are dominant at home, put together a complete performance defensively, offensively. Josh Hyans Allen was in Drake Maye's face all afternoon.

Um, 58.4 pressure rate. Jaguars were awesome defensively.

Crazy.

And bounced back offensively after a really bad 4th quarter in Denver last week.

Yeah, they were, they were excellent in every phase of the game. Uh, they finally got some use out of Travis Hunter.

Yep.

And I think you, you just gotta play him as a cornerback.

Yeah.

Just let him do that. He's really good at it. And don't try to make everything happen before he's ready for it. He said, he said— Put him in more snaps as a cornerback.

Yeah, he said after, he's like, that, that interception, which was kind of the shift of the game, uh, the Patriots played so bad. I don't know if they could have won the game, but the interception that happened on the 2-yard line at the end of the first half, the Jaguars up 14-3, and Drake Maye just throws it. I mean, Travis Hunter was all over Chisholm, I believe he was guarding. And he said after, he's like, I knew I was just running his routes and I knew I was going to get one. I just had to get my hands on the ball. First interception in the NFL. The Jaguars were awesome. And Liam Cohen's a really, really good coach. Like, he's a really, really good coach.

He is the first coach since Matt LaFleur in 2020 to win 15 of his first 20 games as a head coach.

Damn good coach.

Really good. Jacksonville's won 6 straight regular season home games. Chaps was on the, on the video board, the, the Duval.

Incredible.

Well done by Chaps. The Jaguars are just good. They're just a really good team.

Um, also, also we should say Parker Washington, that touchdown catch was insane where he got his hands out the last second to get that and he was He was really good. It was also crazy because it was like incomplete, incomplete, and then touchdown, illegal hands to the face, touchdown. So it's 4 straight passes to Parker Washington. Yeah, he made 2 great catches in that, in that span and ended up with a touchdown. And also Trevor Lawrence screwed over all fantasy owners and he said it afterwards. He actually— so he went down for people who weren't watching the game.

Just made no sense.

Went down. It was 28 to 6 with 8 minutes left in the game. Trevor Lawrence busted through like a broken play, busted through the line. No one around him, went down at the 1-yard line. And he said afterwards, I'm trying to help support the Bashal Tuton fantasy people out there. What the fuck?

Disgusting.

It was crazy. I understand if there was like a minute and a half left, like you, you go down and then, you know, you, you kneel the ball. It was 8 and a half minutes left and they were up 28 to 6.

You just scored.

They scored on the next play.

Absolutely disgusting. I think there was 8 8:50 left in the game when it— when he went down. And scored on the next play. He scored on the very next play. Stanford Steve was with us watching the game and he had given out Drake Maye or Trevor Lawrence to score a rushing touchdown today. And that was utterly disgusting to see Trevor do that with 8 minutes and 50 seconds left in the game. I, I want to know, like, did he tell his teammates before in the huddle? Was he like, hey, this is a no-score situation? Or did that just like pop up in his head? As he got close to the goal line.

Our guy Rico Bosco has been saying it. We live in a go-down culture. It's not good. It started with Todd Gurley.

What does that mean?

We live in a go-down culture. Guys just go down now.

Like in The Sopranos.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Not very Italian like him. But yeah, it's a go-down culture. Guys go down at the 1-yard line.

It's, um, it was, it was really weird, but he's, he had a great game. Trevor Lawrence is just top 5 quarterback right now.

He's playing great. He's playing great. And the Jags.

Yeah.

I mean, that was a, they had a kind of an implosion at the end of the, uh, game last week against the Broncos. So to see them come out and it was like pedal to the metal the whole game. Their defense, like I said, was awesome. Hank, are you now ready? Have we lubed you up? Are you ready to talk about Drake Maye and what's going on?

Yeah, let's do it.

Can I give you some good news?

Yeah, I'll rip the Band-Aid off. Sure.

Some good news right before we get to some of the ugly stuff.

I need some good news.

So those are the 6 interceptions that he has this year. They're the most for a Patriots quarterback through 3 games since Drew Bledsoe.

Okay.

Who came after Drew Bledsoe?

Tom Brady.

Tom Brady.

There you go.

So like, you might be a guy after him.

You might be ready for another dynasty soon.

Okay.

There we go.

That's any more good news?

I got one for you.

That's the only piece of good news.

You ready? Quarterbacks that had a 1 to 6 TD interception ratio through the first 3 weeks of a season. Drew Brees in '07, Kurt Warner in '02, Aikman in '89, Trent Dilfer in '96. All those guys won a Super Bowl.

Yeah, that's actually, that is a good stat. Yeah. Listen, it was, it was a tough game to watch, but you know, it's all about perspective in these situations. Just being able to watch your quarterback go out there and put it, put it all out on the line, blood on his hands, doesn't matter. Still going out trying to throw it. Like you got to just appreciate. Appreciate the little things. You never know, you know, when, when someone might get hurt or whatever.

Tommy DeVito looked pretty good.

Tommy DeVito did look pretty good.

Yeah, he looked good.

Is he the new Tom Brady?

Tommy DeVito? Tommy Cutlets?

I don't—

Drake Mayhew, like, what's going on?

I, I don't know if he needs—

I don't want to do the type of— what's going on?

What's the deal? Psychologist? Or like, it's— it, it looks like the yips.

We're talking about psych— we're talking psychologists.

Psychologists.

His second interception.

I hope he wasn't crying.

I don't think he was crying, but if he was, that's fine, right? Yeah, sure.

Absolutely.

The second interception, when they were like kind of like alluding to it before, you could just feel it was coming, which is like never, never, ever a good sign with your quarterback or any quarterback where you're watching, where you're like, a pick is coming. And literally the first play of the drive, he just like, not even a good pass, not even a good interception. Like it was, he just gave them the ball right back. He, he fumbled it without anyone within a 10-yard radius of him today. Like, that is insane. It just, it looks something's off.

Well, there was blood on the ball, right? He's afraid of blood. So he's afraid of the blood. And then after the game, he said that he has to look himself in the mirror and take this as a turning point. So between that and his fear of blood, he's confirmed not a vampire. More good news.

That's good. Yeah, he's got to look at himself in the mirror.

He said it.

We all do. I got to wake up tomorrow, look at myself in the mirror.

You're going to look at yourself in the mirror?

Yeah.

Suck in a little bit and then, you know, what do you think? Deep breath.

Go down culture.

What do you think about our boy? And people probably don't even know who I'm talking about. But there is— we did hire a guy on our social team who runs the account Drake Maylover. We've referenced him before. Drake Maylover, Devin, who works here now at Barstool Sports, works in our office. He got community noted for his tweet when he said, woke up feeling like Drake Maye is going off today. 300 yards, 3 touchdowns. We're back. And he then got community noted being like, he actually didn't go off and Tommy DeVito came in. How do you think Drake Maye Lover's going?

He left the cave today.

He left the cave. Drake Maye Lover has left the cave.

He left the cave. Because he's Drake Maye Lover and Drake Maye is fucking terrible.

It's so funny to have to explain that to someone, be like, We hired this guy named Drake Maylover. Oh, and then he left the cake.

Did you see the video?

I mean, Max, you've been to fucking 10,000 weddings in the last year. You know that when you talk about these speeches, like, if you're going to love someone, you got to love them at their highs and you got to love them at their lows. You can't just abandon ship when they're at their lowest. No, you may not be in a good spot. And that's when you got to— that's when you got to be the strongest.

That's when he keeps getting—

you got to be their rock.

I want to—

I want to community note his name. It's more like Drake Mayliker. If you're Drake Maylover, you should Hank's right. Yeah, you should face the music.

Drake May love her when things are going well.

Yeah, he came back to the cave, but he did. There was a moment where Drake May threw a big stupid pick.

Yeah.

And then he left.

Are you afraid that he's becoming a big stupid pick guy? Because he did throw a big stupid pick. Thanks, Max.

Maybe you shouldn't have pointed at me, you fucking dick.

I actually didn't point at you ever.

I was talking about last week. Yeah, I pointed at the TV. Yeah, it's true. He did point at the TV.

I thought about that in the afternoon games. I was like, fuck, I should have pointed at the TV when Drake Maye threw his second pick of the day.

Yeah, I wouldn't have cried like a 5-year-old.

Yeah, you would have.

Yes, you would have.

Dad, he pointed at me.

Yes, you would.

Dad, he pointed at me. You would. Oh, you would have cried like such a little baby.

Oh my God, the Dodgers.

Settle down. Settle down. Do you think that Memes is taking it too far because he touched you?

Yeah, Memes did touch me.

Memes did assault me. That is like sometimes like, listen, I know like, you know, this place is like all fun and games and stuff, but like, We are. This is a real workplace. You can't assault your boss.

The situation right now—

I gave him a tap on the back.

You tapped him on the back. The situation right now between Hank and the Booth Boys is basically just my 3 kids at home where it's like, he looked at me, he touched me. I don't want him looking at it. You guys just can't— you can't be in the same room. We got to separate you. I can be separated as long as I'm not getting assaulted.

I'm fine with them. Like, I don't— and yes, I don't care about—

That's not too much to ask for.

I think so. That's where it's like, yeah, why did you—

this is a fun job.

Like, for real, you know the meme? You're just like me.

Is that why you salted him?

Yeah, I gave him a tap on the back. Hey, him and Shane.

Oh, like, real talk. Can we do real talk?

Gut level?

Yeah, gut level.

Where is this season going?

The toilet.

Is it AJ Brown comes back and things get fixed?

We're at—

we're at the bottom. Hopefully we're at the rock bottom. Things have to turn around in a massive, massive way. The schedule, obviously everyone's like, oh, once you're playing a hard schedule, who knows? That could be true.

The haters might have you on that one.

We could be spoiler. We could be fun spoiler.

Oh no, Hank, it's too early.

Spoiler.

That's where—

come on.

I don't know how anyone can look at these 3 games and like, that's where it feels like it's going right now. It's like we're in a bad spot. You know, 7, 8 games would be—

you were competitive. I mean, you were competitive in the first game. You won. Defense is good too.

Like, we were getting— Trevor Lawrence played really well. Like, we were getting a lot of pressure on Trevor Lawrence and he was just completing these passes like over and over and over again. The defense has played really well. Offensive line has been really bad. Drake Maye has been really bad. AJ Brown's injured. Romeo Doubs is like kind of just You know, nowhere to be found, more or less. But Drake Maye, it starts and ends with Drake Maye. He's got to, he's got to look at himself in the mirror. I hope he, I hope he figures it out. Yeah. But if he doesn't, I don't— the season's not going anywhere, anywhere good.

Do you think it's a good thing that AJ Brown hasn't been on the field for these last couple of performances because he might flip out? Maybe saying yes.

Oh yeah. I would love to know what is going on in his brain right now.

AJ Brown.

Oh yeah.

Yeah.

There's, um, I mean, the schedule coming up is going to be tough. You got to go to Buffalo, but that's a great opportunity. We look at these like opportunities.

Spoiler season.

Maybe knock, knock the Bills down a peg.

Spoiler in week 4.

And then you got the Raiders who are maybe good.

Raiders are definitely good.

But then we got back-to-back Jets and Bears. And if you lose both those games, Jets and Bears. That might, that might end this podcast.

Why?

Jets.

If you go back to back losing to memes.

Yeah. If we lose to the Jets, if we lose to the Jets Thursday night, those games don't really count because of rest and all that stuff.

But right. You're already getting ahead of this.

Oh my God. You've, you've, you've excused away the entire season. It's week 3.

Oh, we can still win the division. Like, you get it. We still haven't lost.

Wait, is that Thursday night game?

The Bears?

Yeah, the Bears one.

We'll be there. Uh, we can still win the division. You haven't lost any division games. Bills look really good. The rest of the AFC looks really good. That's really the, the bigger issue is like, we can, you know, play spoiler seek in the playoffs, but these— AFC is just stacked. Last year was, was the year we, you know, got ahead of schedule. PFT knows what that's like. It's like, yeah, you, you, you go to the NFC Championship, you go to the Super Bowl. With a young quarterback, I go, this is just our— this is our future now. And then, you know, you realize like it might take us a couple of years to get back to that level.

It's well said.

Just got to look yourself in the mirror, trust the process.

Drake Maye, I'd be happy that you know quarterbacks aren't made of glass.

Yeah.

Okay. The yips that you kept on talking about. So since the start of last postseason, Drake Maye has 9 fumbles and 10 interceptions. 9 fumbles and 10 interceptions in what would be 7 games. He's the first player with 9 fumbles and 10 interceptions in a 7-game span since Jameis. Jameis. Jameis in 2019.

We love Jameis.

We do love Jameis. That was his 30-touchdown, 30-interception season, which was very memorable.

Yeah, I mean, the, the, the worst throw of the day besides the one when he just fumbled it without anyone being near him in the blood. Was when he just scrambled out of the pocket and had Romeo Doubs wide open for a touchdown. He just missed him, like overthrew him.

Is there a point though where the yips are like, no, it's not the yips? It's just, I mean, Max said it in the cave. He was lashing out at you because you guys got in a fight over the Cowboys and you just, Max, you just said like your quarterback fucking sucks. Sucks dick, I think was the exact quote.

I mean, he hasn't been good in Like 10 games?

No, I just said, yeah, the stat. Yeah, 7 games.

Yeah, 7 games.

Yeah, round that up.

Yeah, up to 10.

Yeah, I mean, quarterbacks go through, through tough streaks. He's so young.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, do you think it's a problem with the small hands?

No.

Because you got— he's got small hands and Will Campbell's got the small arms. So you put those 2 together. Kind of a not great combination.

I don't think that's the issue now.

Are you worried at all about Glenn Tapewatch? Because feels like Glenn Tapewatch is going to have a lot of work to do.

You don't have to answer that, Hank. That's kind of a gotcha thing. We need to wait for the All-22 before anyone can actually break this down.

Agreed. Yeah.

He even said—

So you're not worried about Glenn Tapewatch?

He said it might have been tipped on the blood fumble.

Yeah.

Might have been tipped.

Blood fumble?

The blood fumble might have been tipped.

Blood fumble.

The blood fumble might have some legs.

That sounds—

Awesome. Might have been tipped. Let's practice good tape discipline and wait for the All-22 to come out. I think spot on.

I feel bad for like, you know, you got kids and like they're probably like global warming and all that stuff with the amount of like AI Glenn Tapewatch is using to make these videos.

Yeah, I've talked to him.

Yeah, he's burning resources and probably—

Tapewatch. I was like, hey guys, we're not going to have water in 10 years because Glenn Tapewatch has to break down the blood.

So that's really my only concern when it comes to Glenneth is just like, the fate of our world.

Okay. So I know that you asked or you pointed out, you know, I think with some validity that at least you get to watch a quarterback play football. Yeah. And other quarterbacks get injured. And Drake Maye does seem like he's a tough guy and he's smart about when to avoid big hits when he can. But do you think that that's also kind of getting rid of one of the excuses that you might have, which is what if he's actually injured right now? What if there's something wrong with Drake Maye that we don't know?

There could be. There definitely could be.

He's a warrior.

He's, he's, he's, yeah, he's not going to take himself out of the game.

He's not going to do all that stuff.

Who took themselves out of the game?

Lots of players. But who's Anthony Richardson? Yeah, that's true. I don't know. There's— you could go through this.

Antonio Brown.

Antonio Brown.

Yeah.

Probably AJ Brown.

Mm-hmm.

He may never come back.

He just might, might leave.

Yeah. I don't think that's going to happen.

Yeah. But Hank, look at, look at that like macro trend though that I pointed out, which is the last time that the Patriots had a quarterback whose first name started with D-R. And threw 6 picks.

I think you did this exact same bit with Mac Jones, if I'm, if I'm remembering.

No, no, correct. Yeah, it's— his first letters are M-A, and then the backup's first letters are T-O-M.

You definitely did. Like, this is—

you're—

No, it's impossible because the backup was not named Tom and the starter wasn't named D-R-something. Doctor. So that would be impossible for me to say that.

Got it. But you're doing this reach with what?

The blood fumble.

It's— I mean, that's real. You might have— it might be a Tom Brady situation.

Vrabel did say, my concern level is very high for this football team. I just want to coach and improve. I think that's the biggest thing when you come off a game like that. You just want to get back and work. So he said it. I mean, he's like, concern level high.

That's—

I think that was the second worst loss Vrabel's ever had as a head coach. So yeah, that was— it was an ass kicking. It was an ass kicking.

And he's too good of a coach for this to— like, he's going to bounce back. There's going to be— you guys are going to play a good game next week. It's going to be competitive against the Bills. I promise you.

Yeah.

You just got to get the—

Sunday night or is that—

No, it's an afternoon game.

That's a big promise.

Yeah.

I promise.

Yeah. I don't know if that's a promise.

Yeah.

I don't think you can keep that promise.

I'm one for one on promises with Hank this year.

What was the other promise?

I was going to get to it later, but I promised him that I would avenge his loss to the Seahawks.

Oh. Yeah, you did do that.

That's great promise.

That's great. Promises made, promises kept.

Yeah.

Good guy.

Thanks.

I have one question.

Yeah, sure, Max.

Is your sweatshirt on backwards?

Yes, it is. That was intentional.

Intentional.

Got it.

Got it.

Got it. Because the season was turning around today.

Got it. Got it. Okay. Okay. Sorry if I already—

I actually think it looks better without the stupid commander's name in the front because it's a stupid name.

Oh, got it.

Memes, you had something?

Uh, yes, I have this stat. I just have to pull it up.

Okay.

My apologies. Patriots offense has scored 29 points on 30 drives this season. That's the fewest points per drive by any team through 3 games since the 2021 Jets in the first 3 starts of Zach Wilson's career.

Oh, Zach Wilson higher ceiling than Patrick Mahomes.

Facts. Facts.

There you go, Hank. Way to fight.

Way to fight.

Whatever. We're just— we're—

He touched you.

He's just like me for real. Like, you're, you're just a loser.

He should have touched you.

Like, and the Jets aren't good. The Jets are horrible.

Well, they're fine. I also won a championship in this past year. You have nothing.

What are you talking about? I have more championships, like, in—

Oh, you're doing 27 rings.

Oh, no.

In life, have you— like, I've— with my eyeballs, parades, afterparties, dap-ups.

Don't forget about the dap-ups, bro. Hank has more dap-ups than any of us will ever get.

Shaved heads.

Yeah.

Hank goes to sleep at night. When he puts his head on the pillow, the first thing he thinks about is all the sweet dap-ups.

I do.

Yeah, I know.

Listen, I met Julian Edelman and he knew my name and dabbed me up. I was like, that's—

it's just very funny to see Jalen Brunson walks into memes.

He's like, who's this freak? Get away from me. Like security. Like, there's no dap for you.

No, you don't get a dap.

I think I would get a dap.

Do you think you'd get a dap?

I think I'd get a dap.

Yeah, he's a nice guy. I think you would.

He's a good guy.

I think that— listen, Hank, there's no doubt about it. Hank has had a tremendous track record of success over the years. Hank has more championships and more memories than he knows what to do with. He's forgotten more memories about winning a championship than I will ever know. And that's, that's a fact. So you have to take off your hat to that, but also realize maybe at the same time it could all be crashing down. And that's a beautiful thing to see.

No more dap-ups for you.

Because the thing is, as experienced as you are in being a winner, Hank, you're not nearly as experienced as us in being a loser.

No shit. I never will be.

And it affects you 10 times more.

What if the dap-ups run dry?

That's the part of this that you don't realize.

You've dapped up your last dap up?

No, no.

But just think about that. That, that would be a really sad thing to be like, I've dapped for the last time already and I don't even know it.

Yeah.

Yeah, I hope not. Yeah, I guess you never know when your last dap is going to be.

Water daps.

Yeah, we got to dap them up. Yeah. You have been very funny today.

But just making like, it's, it's, it's again, like it's not, it's not Super Bowl or bust every single year. Like make like young team, young quarterback, new coach.

After you went to the Super Bowl last year, it's not Super Bowl or bust.

You guys went to the Super Bowl last year and you said, and you said you had the MVP of the league.

But like, we— it's just about— you got, you got showing improvement, getting back, like getting in the playoff contention.

Like, we're gonna—

our name is gonna be in that, in the hunt graphic. The Jets are gonna be nowhere to be found like in, in 10 weeks.

This is sad that you're, you're comparing yourself to the Jets.

Sounds like you also think that last year was a fluke the way you're talking, because like most teams would build on it. You're saying that it's— you were saying like, it's like when you said, hey, PFT, you know, year 2 early and all that stuff. Like, are you saying last year was a fluke?

It's starting to feel like— I mean, it's, it's, it's more—

it—

yeah, maybe.

I don't know.

Like, yes, the schedule, not a fluke, but like the, the, the stars aligned. Yeah, more or less. It was more like—

And now it's getting cloudy.

Yeah, real cloudy.

Real cloudy.

There's a lot of good quarterbacks in the sky.

Yeah.

Where last year there was not.

Yeah.

Last year there was There was a lot of light pollution. You were in a big city, couldn't see shit.

But it was a great— it was a great year. You had an awesome time last year.

Great time.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And you're sick about it still.

Drake Maye, I think he was 1 for 2 on 3rd and 6 today. Oh, pretty good.

He actually got a 3rd and 6 turned into a 3rd and 5 just by calling a timeout.

Yeah, that was huge.

It was 3rd and 6, called a timeout. He was like, I can't do this. I can't do this, guys. Yeah, I need an adult. And then It came back from it and it was magically 3rd and 5.

Yeah.

All right. Let's go.

Let's go to the next game. Steelers 30, Bengals 27. The Pittsburgh Steelers scored 2 touchdowns in the first quarter of a football game. They scored more than 7 points in the first quarter of a football game for the first time in 70 football games. And they scored 2 offensive touchdowns for the first time in a football game since Week 13, 2018, 123 games ago. ago, they came out and looked like a totally different team. Shout out the accountability that, uh, that Aaron Rodgers took. Shout out Jaylen Warren, who ran the hell out of the ball. And yeah, the Steelers, this is— maybe they still have a little bit of this Mike Tomlin where they can look really bad and then they'll just show up and as underdogs at home, they're going to win a game.

Yeah, this was a classic. If, if you listen to part of my take for the last 10 years, Uh, the Steelers being— were they 3 or 3?

3.5.

3.5-point home dogs. That was always a big blinking sign, no matter how bad they looked, bet on the Steelers.

Yep.

And it's good to see that some things, the more they change, they stay the same. And to your point, Big Cat, as we talked about Aaron Rodgers saying, I need to do a better job letting my coach know which plays are working and which plays are not working, we saw that in practice today, uh, where he threw a pass to Michael Pittman And Michael Pittman kind of, I don't know if he dropped it, if you can count it as a drop, but he was in traffic. It was a tough throw and catch. Did not convert it. The camera immediately shows Aaron Rodgers look over the sidelines saying, that play fucking sucks ass. Motherfucking sucks ass.

There you go.

So like right to McCollum's face.

There's accountability.

Accountability. We see things change and we said, that's a wily old vet understanding how to open up those lines of communication. So yeah, the Steelers, like their offense looked It sputtered at times, especially inside the red zone later on in the game. But overall, it looked, it looked a lot better. And it could have been even more explosive than we remember if it wasn't for that super long Jaylen Warren touchdown run that was taken back because I believe it was a DK Metcalf hold on that play. But yeah, the offense looks, it looks normal. It looks like a normal above average NFL offense.

Yeah. And I mean, Darnell Washington, when he's running, That was such an awesome— to watch him just like break free.

Yeah.

It was— I mean, it just— how do you stop him? It's just a boulder going downhill. But with that said, the Bengals should have won this game. And I don't say that like, you know, the Steelers were undeserving winners, but the— this game came down to special teams. Special teams fucked the Bengals. The Bengals had 2 things that changed the course of this game. The first was when they were up 20 to 17, they stopped the Steelers 4th and 6. on this, in the Steelers' own side of the field. And they got an egregious roughing the punter and roughing the kicker. And the Steelers got a first down, went and scored a touchdown. Now it's 24-20. Then the Bengals go score. They're up 27-24. Boom. You muff a punt. The Steelers then get a field goal. So that was like, if you're a Bengals fan, I think there's obviously a little concern that the defense maybe didn't look as good as it did the first 2 weeks. Jaylen Warren had an absolute field day. And Aaron Rodgers looks like spry young Aaron Rodgers. But that was still a game that you should have won if you, if you just had not, if you just didn't have 2 egregious special teams blunders in the second half of the football game.

Yeah, those 2 were the turning points for sure. They're also, they were decent on 3rd down as well, which is something that they haven't always been this with Aaron Rodgers and Jaylen Warren. I think he got close to 20 carries today. Um, which is like finally getting him in a rhythm as opposed to splitting up his carries. I do think that there's something to that, like we saw with, with Kenneth Walker to start the season, where like if you have a guy, try, try to like lean on him a little bit for at least, you know, a few series in a row, as opposed to like getting him out of rhythm and making him feel like his job is like always under fire. And Jaylen Warren, still really, really good if you can block for him.

Yeah, I also saw a stat and I, I went and tried to find it, and it's this guy named, uh, Uh, Scott Cashmer, who's from Pittsburgh, so it's a biased stat, but he's tweeted a bunch over the years. It's that Joe Burrow is 1-34 when trailing in the last 8 minutes in an NFL game. I gotta understand this stat better because this feels like a fake stat.

No, it's, it's real. But I guess the thing is like—

But how many times is Joe Burrow coming back, scoring a touchdown, then his defense giving up a touchdown? Oh, he just lost the game. That wasn't his fault. It makes it seem like there's been 35 times Joe Burrow's had the ball down and failed 34 out of them. Like, you know what I mean? That's definitely not what happened.

So if he's 1-34 when trailing in the last 8 minutes, at any point in the last 8 minutes, that would mean that like if he took a lead and then they gave up the lead again, right, then that counts towards it, that he's never won that game.

It also would mean that when his defense gives up 40 points and they're down, you know, 21 points going to the— with 8 minutes left, they lose that game.

So if you look across the NFL, like, what, what are quarterbacks' records?

Well, I'm sure it's one of those stats that Mahomes is like, you know, he's like 15-5.

It's, uh, no, I think he's like 40% or something like that.

Yeah, something crazy.

But I mean, you also have to take into account if your team is, is losing in the 4th quarter, you typically lose those games.

Yeah.

I, I mean, this is, like I said, I think the Bengals, you look at it, that was just a game that you should have found a way to win if you just didn't have special teams fuck— like, you fucked up. And that's why it's an important part of the game.

I did see one stat that Mahomes is 14-7 when he's losing going into the 4th quarter.

That's crazy.

Which is a crazy, absolutely crazy stat. But you also have to think he's probably not down a lot.

Yeah.

When he's— the few times that he has, I guess 21 times that he has gone into the 4th quarter.

Yeah, they're not down by multiple scores and all that. We also So, so we now have— and we'll get to the Browns game, but we have the game of the century coming up on Thursday night. Battle for first place in the AFC North. The 2-1 Steelers versus the 2-1 Browns, which is going to be very fun to watch. And we also have very big, big news coming on Thursday because I think it's Thursday or no, it's Wednesday. Mike Tomlin announced he will fully unveil his Minecraft city he's been building for 12 years.

Wow.

Yeah, pretty awesome.

Pretty sick.

Pretty awesome.

But so everything's kind of coming up Steelers right now.

So I like that. But also, I don't like the idea that the news came out before he unveiled because he's definitely going to work on it and make the parts that might be rough around the edges like a little more sanitized. I wish that somebody had just found it.

Yeah.

Like hacked into his shit. And this does make everybody in that division— I believe it's 2-1 now, right? Steelers, Ravens, Browns, Bengals.

Yes.

Everyone is 2-1.

The AFC North is back.

Yeah, big time.

Yeah. And if you're a Steelers fan, like, this was a game that you, as bad as last week looked, you then bounce back. Aaron Rodgers looked good. He had a lot of time to throw. And the defense, Derrick Harmon, shout out Derrick Harmon for that big play at the end of the game with the strip sack of Joe Burrow to seal the victory. Yeah, there was, it was a fun game. Also, I don't know, you guys, I thought like this game was going to be It shows how stupid we are. I thought this was a dead cold under and it was just so many points.

That was my pick for, for the PMT group.

Yeah, I think I went 0-2.

Yep.

Yeah, I went 0-2.

I think I went 1-1. I think I've been bad. But yeah, this is— everything pointed to this being a muck it up Steelers win. I did not expect like an offensive shootout and Steelers taking it home.

Yeah.

Okay.

Next game we've got— talk about a muck it up game. The Bills and the Chargers. The Bills 24, the Chargers 16. I do not know how the Los Angeles Chargers lost this game by 8 points. It was quite something to watch because the Bills, they came out in their terrible uniforms and terrible helmets and they looked terrible to start the game. They had 5 turnovers in the game. They were super sloppy right from the beginning, 10 penalties. But it's the Chargers, so it didn't really matter at the end of the game. The Chargers were always getting their own way. The Bills were like, hey, remember James Cook? He's the man. Let's give him the ball. In the 4th quarter, he had 77 yards and a touchdown. Uh, and Josh Allen like kind of righted the ship after having a really bad start to the game. And the Chargers are the Chargers. They have— they out-Chargered themselves.

Yeah, he had 2— Josh Allen had 2 completions, 2 picks on his first 4 drives. Uh, and then he went 14 for 20 for 195 rest of the way. So yeah, he dialed it in after that and he just continues to score with his feet. It's gotta be so frustrating if you are a fantasy football player or really just a, uh, uh, a cook better on a weekly basis. Like Josh Allen, I think he's got 2 rushing touchdowns in all 3 games this season.

Yeah.

Which is pretty crazy for him to be a quarterback starting that way. But I mean, this offense is good for him and he trusts it obviously. And he's, You know, never going to lose that confidence just because he throws a couple of early picks.

Well, it was like the Bills do this from time to time where they have games where it's just like a total Bills clunker game.

Yeah.

And this was that game. And the Chargers should have won this game, except the Chargers then started clunking even harder than the Bills down the stretch. And that's all it— like, I just— the Chargers are just a really tough team to watch.

They clunked back. So the Bills The last time they won a game with 5 turnovers, 5 or more turnovers, 1997 against the Colts. And teams since 2016, if you lose the turnover battle by 4 or more, 2-119-1. And now the Bills, now it's 3-119-1.

I got, I got a, I got a worse stat though for you.

Okay.

Since 2013, teams with 5 turnovers and a -4 turnover margin are 3-81-1. and won straight up. And the 3 wins: the Bills over the Chargers today, the Jaguars over the Chargers 2022-2023 season, Broncos over the Chargers 2015-2016 season.

Yeah, it's really—

all 3 of them, all 3 times a team has won with 5 turnovers and a -4 turnover margin are against the Chargers. That's what the— like, it's really bad. I thought that Jim Harbaugh had changed the Chargers and they are no longer the Chargers. They are still the Chargers.

They're almost more more of the Chargers than they've been because you expect them to be better. And it's a new way for them to be extra Chargers because in the past, like the last season, like with Brandon Staley, like the team had given up and it's like, okay, we—

That Raiders game.

Yeah. Nothing's— yeah. Oh, that was disgusting. Like nothing's going to hurt us because we've given up on this team. But with Harbaugh, they should be good enough. The coaching should be good enough where they don't charge it this hard, which makes it more Charger.

It's, it's crazy to watch because it's, and it's, I know it's reductive and very stupid and meatball of us, but sometimes the meatball answer is the correct answer when it comes to sports analysis. And you can simply just say the Chargers are the Chargers and sometimes they charge your shit up.

I don't think they're going to want to hear you say meatball because Tom Brady referred to one of Justin Herbert's throws as being a meatball sub on an interception today.

That's tough. Listen.

Max has never been more right about calling Justin Herbert a big stupid pick guy. He deserves all the flowers for that.

Yeah, he's a big stupid pick guy.

Big stupid pick guy.

If there's one guy we know that would recognize a meatball from a mile away, it's Max.

Yeah.

And it was, it was a clinic of big stupid picks today.

The worst part for the Chargers is per Ian Rapoport, he had said, I think it was this morning or maybe yesterday, the Chargers had the best week of practice they've had all season. So if we're already in best week of practice, we can't be there in week 3 and then still losing the game. Anyone who's ever rooted for a losing team knows that as soon as the best week of practice stuff comes out, you're fucked. You're absolutely fucked. Like, you can't— you just can't have that be, be said. Yeah, Mark Treston was like the best practice coach of all time.

It's, it's right up there with just like, we're so close on a lot of these things.

Yeah, we gotta look in the mirror. We got to change some things.

It starts with me. I think Herbert did say that. It starts with me.

Yeah. And it's the penalties and just like they, they just find a way to shoot themselves in the foot every single time. And again, this was a very winnable game for them. They came out like an 0-2 team, desperate, looking for a win. The Bills were playing poorly and then it just, and it really goes down to like the 5 interceptions or the 5 turnovers. First one's a fumble, the Chargers score a touchdown off of. Second one's an interception, Chargers get a field goal off of. 3, 4, 5— missed field goal, punt, interception. Like, you can't— they got no points off those last 3 turnovers, and that's the difference. And yeah, it was, it was just a prime, like, Bills are a little off type of game, which they have a few times a year. And I also will say this, I will never bet the Bills over again if they wear— when they wear those We need an alert. Those are just not point-scoring uniforms. The helmets are gross. I just don't know how anyone could think like— no one likes those uniforms.

Yeah, no one.

They were disgusting. And I was a little confused by Harbaugh's decisions to like when he should go for it on 4th down as opposed to kick a field goal. Yeah, because they had one opportunity. I think it was maybe 4th and 4 or 4th and 5, kicked a field goal. And then later on in the game, they found themselves in a position where it was 4th and 10. They kind of had to go for it at that point on 4th down. But I don't know, it doesn't— I don't see a lot of consistency with him when it comes to like when he's going to be aggressive.

And I think, I think they're in the desperate mode and it's like, this is a desperate team now that's staring a really, really bad season right in the face.

So the fewest points per game, the Chargers are in the bottom 4 with, with a new offense with McDaniels and everyone thought it was going to be like they were going to unlock and make Herbert Into the greatest of all time. The greatest of all time. So it's— yeah, the Chargers are in 4th place. Then you got the Titans and the Dolphins are the only 2 teams that are worse than the Chargers.

That's bad.

And the Patriots. The Patriots are also the worst, tied with the Dolphins. That's bad, bad, bad, bad place to be.

Also, the Bills— shout out all of the people in the media who listen to the show— the Bills' new stadium, the ice machine.

Broke ice cream.

Ice cream.

I think it was ice cream.

It was ice cream. Yeah, it was ice cream.

It was.

Yeah, it was ice cream.

Yeah.

Even worse, the cream team would never do that.

We'd have it up before game time.

I did send thoughts and prayers. It's a tragedy to have the ice cream machine down. You can't have that.

They did have a backup, though. OK. Yeah, they had the—

thank God—

candy bars.

Oh, they had frozen candy bars.

OK. You know, like some of them do the variants on ice cream bars.

Yeah.

Are we talking—

thank God.

Are we talking frozen candy bars? Are we talking ice cream candy?

Oh, the ice cream variant ones.

OK. All right.

Good.

Your favorite candy bar.

But it's All right, Chris, there's nothing better, though, than when the media will send out a tweet about something that's a little off in the— in their, like, surroundings or food or something. It's like, man, they really— the diet Pepsi's out.

We've got— oh no, we've got an obstructed view of the ice cream machine. Yeah, the stadium's the worst.

The clam chowder doesn't have any oyster crackers.

Oh my God.

How are we supposed to report on this game? I joke, but like, we just eat the same shit. We just order it here. And, and, and I would be pissed if, if the ice cream machine's down and if we ran out of voice cracks.

Or, I mean, there's been times like the food wasn't here before the game.

Oh, it's a disaster.

Yeah.

Now, you know, to our credit, we don't tweet about it. We just talk about it on stream.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And we threaten Jack.

Yeah. We threaten him.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What's the type?

Yeah.

I mean, yeah, there was the year he screwed up the order on week 1. It was just like, I'll never— I'll never— there'll always be a trust issue I have with him from that.

What's the local type of oyster crackers in Massachusetts? Because I had them for the first time last week. They're better than what we think.

I don't know the name.

There's a buttery—

you're talking about—

yeah, it's like Massachusetts made or something. It was like a local one that was everywhere I went and it was awesome.

We had one today that was with the chili that was like a buttery oyster cracker variant. That's really good. I don't really know.

It's in like a green packet.

I love oyster crackers. I actually like— you're the soup guy, PFT. I might just be the cracker guy.

The Westminster oyster crackers.

That's what it is. That's the kind of generic— you can get that everywhere.

They're superior oyster crackers.

Agreed.

What was the one today we got? Oyster.

Was that like a Cincinnati one?

No.

Yeah, it was a buttery one. The Westminster, though, is very— is like Everywhere, because I got that the other day with some soup. But I just love crackers.

It's good stuff.

I'm a cracker. Yeah, crackers might be my number one. Just—

We do work at Barstool.

Yeah. I just like crackers. I like to eat crackers because it feels like it's not like you're eating something, but you are, but you aren't. Like, you're like, oh, I could just take down half a sleeve of crackers, no problem, with some cheese.

That's what I love about Ohio is they think that, like, you put one drop of hot sauce on an oyster cracker and you're like, this is an elite. This is something that's never been done This is a culturally significant part of our lives.

And they're right.

They are.

They're 100% right.

It changed your life.

Okay. PFT. Seahawks-Commanders.

Yep. You're welcome.

What a win.

You're welcome, Hank.

Commanders 33, Seahawks 31.

Thanks, dude.

The 12-game winning streak for the Seahawks has been snapped by Marcus Mariota and the Washington Commanders.

Yeah. Commanders are streak-enders. And yeah, in like the last 6 years, 7 years, I remember we stopped the Ravens preseason win streak at like 24 games.

Who could forget?

Yeah, I mean, it's the only thing that we talk about.

You sounded a little like you were being sarcastic.

I had the sense to raise my hand when I, when I was talking about the Patriots as you were discussing them. I appreciate the same courtesy.

Continue.

If you got something to say, raise your hand. I think you'd be really funny today. The Commanders also ended the Steelers' Monday night win streak on a Wednesday. No, no, it was on a Monday, but it was like It was not originally a Monday Night Football game, so it did not carry the football brand.

Right.

But we ended their win streak in 2020 and we snapped the Eagles' 10-game winning streak in 2024. Max, remember that? So, yeah, we did.

We did.

We stopped a lot of—

you remember that, Max?

Yeah, I remember.

Yeah.

What else happened that year?

I'm talking about the streak.

Got it.

I'm talking about the streak. We're streak— we're streak enders.

No, you guys. I mean, you guys played opportunistic football, 21 points Points off turnovers.

Yeah.

Jalen Hurts also got hurt in that game.

Okay.

You beat Kenny Pickett.

No, wait, does your defense— does your defense— like, does Jalen Hurts play defense when—

No, but Kenny Pickett was playing quarterback.

Jayden put up like 120 yards in the 4th quarter and a bunch of touchdowns. Well, a game-winning drive at the last second.

Yeah. Kenny Pickett was playing quarterback.

Okay. And they play on defense, the quarterback.

Well, Kenny Pickett was playing. Yeah. You beat Kenny Pickett and then we played in The NFC Championship.

Part of, part of playing football is—

We played the NFC Championship, we won by 40.

Part of— well, there were a lot of fumbles.

Are fumbles— is that— wait, is that something that happens in football? Is that part of the game of football?

Or that doesn't count?

They're actually, they're actually much bigger than Drake's. And also they weren't his fumbles. They're running back fumbles and kick returner fumbles.

Did it look like this team like was playing harder for Mariota than they were for Jalen Hurts?

Oh, I love it. I love it. I love it.

Because it did to me.

I love it.

I love it.

No, I think this, to me, you know how I told you on Wednesday or maybe it was last Friday that this feels like it might be the end for Dan Quinn no matter what happens?

Mm-hmm.

This tells me like the team is playing, like this is a great game for Dan Quinn for the team to go out there and put forth that type of effort. So I was, I was really happy with that. The biggest thing for me, I think obviously the turnovers were great, but having Sonny Styles as a middle linebacker has changed the defense entirely. A good defense with a, with a good middle linebacker, you forget how it looks when you don't have it for so long.

Yeah, he was awesome.

And Sonny Styles is a fucking beast. And I'm so glad that he's a Commander and I get to watch him play.

4 tackles, interception, 2 pass deflections, forced fumble, QB hit. He was all over the place.

All over the place. And he did a good job on that pick 6 that Medrano had, who was a, he's a backup. He's a special teamer. that was kind of forced in after Chanel got hurt. That was, that was great. Um, JSN, as we kind of predicted, was just gonna run roughshod over that secondary.

He's the most unguardable guy in the league right now.

Unguardable.

We're trying to double team, we're trying everything that we could to stop him. And then at the end of the game, when it looked like things were gonna get out of hand and that the Seahawks were just going to come back and win the game, um, they went to him like 3 plays in a row for a total of something like 60 yards, just one right after the other. We're going to spam JSN right now. There's nothing you can do to stop it. And when they do that, he actually is unguardable. Yeah, it's crazy. And we kind of lucked out that we were able to, to put that game away. But I will say, I was very— this was David Blough's best play-calling game. Like, he outmaneuvered McDonald at times, especially at the very end of the game and on a couple of 3-downs.

Well, Mariota with his legs too. He kept on making plays like big, big conversions.

Yeah. And the, the, uh, the handoff to Rashad White on like 3rd and 7, 3rd and 8, um, when it looked like the Seahawks were coming with all their guys and Mariota had a check to do like an outside stretch handoff to Rashad to get around the corner in the event of an all-out blitz. And, uh, that was an awesome thing to watch. Like David Blough was starting to figure out, um, some of the small things and some of the strategy, uh, around calling plays in these games. So.

Yeah.

So listen, this is a great game. Who knows what's going to happen for the rest of the season? But I said at the start of the year, we have to go 1-2 minimum.

Yep.

In the first 3 games because of how difficult that schedule was.

And you did.

And we did. And now I think there's a real— I think we could be 3-2 after 5 games.

Who do we have next week?

So we're going to London playing the Colts.

Colts who got off the mat today.

Got off the mat. And then we've got the Giants after that. Okay. And so if we're sitting at 3-2, This team— and then Jayden, the news from Friday is that he might come back and play in just a few weeks. Like, he might be avoiding the surgery, which again, I don't necessarily think is the right— is the smartest idea. Yeah. Um, but he's gonna be wearing the brace and hopefully won't dislocate ever again.

If you're the Seahawks, I think the only concern out of this game, because if you look at it, 33 points, but that really wasn't— it was like I said, 3 touchdowns off of 5 turnovers, including 1 pick-6. The biggest problem is you can't run the football, and you couldn't run the football at all today.

Yeah.

You had 18 carries for 44 yards. That's abysmal. Um, you know, goal line, can't run the football. So that would be the biggest thing is like, how can you figure out— because Sam Darnold, we know he need— you know, you need to be able to run the football with him, like play action and everything off of that. The Seahawks might be suffering a little bit from losing Clint Kubiak, losing Kenneth Walker. Is Charbonnet going to come back?

Yeah, he was.

I don't know when he's going to come back, but I think it should be in a few weeks.

Yeah. So that's, that would be the biggest, the biggest concern if you're a Seahawks fan. You're not going to win them all. You can't win them all. But it was, it is weird how the first 2 games or how the first 3 games went. It's like Like Drew Lock played in 2 of them, won.

Yeah.

And then Sam Darnold comes back and you lose. Uh, the NFL running backs are converting about 50% of their carries inside the 2-yard line into touchdowns. The Seattle Seahawks are 0 for 6 in those situations.

Yeah.

Max, what were you just looking up?

Me?

Yeah, you. You were— I just watched you looking for something.

What are you looking at, Max?

It was right after Hank said, did it look like they played harder for Marcus Mariota?

There was just another thing that I found that was interesting in football today, but it's not even about this game. So we don't even really need to talk about it.

What interesting? Well, we do a podcast where it's helpful to discuss interesting topics.

Well, we like to discuss interesting topics.

So even though it's, even though it's part of a different game?

Sure.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, what else can you say about how great the Commanders looked today?

It was just a little interesting when Baker Mayfield got hurt, what his offensive line was doing.

What'd they do?

Oh, they were kneeling right next to him.

Okay.

Henry, any thoughts?

Was it real?

Well, I don't know. I can't find the video, so I don't know if it was real.

Fully real. They surrounded him like a shield.

Yeah, they were right on top of him.

That's good. That's what you want to see. Yeah.

Yeah. You guys see the other angles and clips of like multiple commanders going around Jaden and taking a knee and And his offensive tackle, Josh Connerly, crying next to him. You see those clips?

I actually didn't know.

I know.

I think that actually might be AI.

It was Glenn.

No, that was real. This is real. As real as it gets.

So Hank, are you, are you trying to claim there's a QB controversy in Washington?

I'm just asking questions. I'm looking at the game. I watched it all. And like guys were just fighting for Mariota. Like they, they, there seemed to be an edge. And I was just like, they played really well. I appreciate you avenging our loss to the Seahawks. That was a good friend move. But I'm just curious, like silent, you know, silent vote. Jayden comes back tomorrow. Do you think the team is silently voting for Mariota?

I would think so.

Yeah. I think that they're probably going to vote. They're probably going to vote for Jayden. If I'm being totally honest, there was a report. I think it was Jon Keim that talked about Jaden addressing his teammates on Friday saying that he was going to come back and not have surgery and how people in the room stood up and applauded and everybody in the locker room was super pumped and happy. Who reported this? Jon Keim.

Just a weird thing to report.

Yeah.

What, a quarterback telling his teammates he's going to come back?

That sounds like the most pointless story of all time.

Yeah, super pumped and happy, applauding.

Well, yeah, he said multiple guys—

Guys, I sprained my elbow. I'm going to come back. And like guys were crying.

He said multiple guys. I didn't say that. No, you're, you're, you're crossing up 2 stories. Josh Connerly cried, cried when—

Which is totally fine.

Which is fine. And then Jayden addressed the team and multiple guys stood up and clapped like it was a 1990s rom-com.

So he's like, I'm not fucking leaving.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It was like apparently a super touching moment in the locker room.

Slow clap.

I'm not sure the pace of the clap, but it was apparently heartwarming.

Slow clap would be nice.

Yeah. Are you, Hank, are you implying that that story was a planted story to make everyone And be like, Jaden is the leader.

Yeah, don't worry, guys. Jaden's a great teammate. His teammates clapped because he told them like, guys, I'm coming back.

Yeah.

When it's like players get injured every week.

So they shouldn't care. So players shouldn't care.

I don't think, I don't think, I don't think like if, if again, like you, you got a hamstring injury, like you didn't announce to us like, hey everyone, like gather around, like I'll be back.

I would have clapped in a week.

Well, that's because like I'm a guy that I'm not going to miss my job just because I've got a low-grade hamstring injury.

Yeah, I think it's not. That's a planted story.

Okay.

I think Hank's made up his mind.

No, I'm asking questions. I genuinely, I'm, I was just curious.

I think that if you were to give me truth serum, I would tell you that the locker room loves Jayden Daniels and that he is the best option to win. And everybody in the team to a man loves him.

Yeah.

And he's everyone's best friend.

Max.

How many, how many games did Jayden Daniels play in this year?

He's played in, I guess, 6 quarters of football.

That's— that wasn't my question.

Half the season.

That wasn't my question.

Okay.

1.5 games. I know you're not a fraction fan.

He played in 2 games.

What were the results of those 2 games?

Well, one was a loss to the Philadelphia Eagles.

Correct.

And then the other that he played half of was a loss to the Dallas Cowboys.

So 2 losses.

Yep.

Marcus Mariota.

Yeah.

1 win.

Yep. That's— hey, so numbers don't lie.

Winning football.

Winning football might be Marcus Mariota. I also did look up Jayden's stats the last 4 quarters that he played and Mariota's last 4 quarters that he played. Honestly, 2 great, great games of football from each one of them. Jayden, 23 of 35, 217 yards, 3 touchdowns, no picks, 9 carries.

You looked this up before?

No, today.

Oh yeah, before the game, or I mean before we did the show.

Yeah. And then Mariota, 19 of 31, 183 yards, 3 touchdowns, no interceptions, I believe 11 yards rushing. So hey, both really—

Yeah, it's not bad to have a good quarterback.

It's great.

He's a really good backup.

Yeah, he's one of the best backup quarterbacks in the league. And considering how bad we looked last year against the Seahawks at home, that was just a disaster of a game. So I'm really happy with the way the team played. They got a lot of fight. And yeah, the biggest, the biggest takeaway for me is Dan Quinn did not lose locker room. And I think Sonny Styles might be just an absolute monster.

That's true.

He's incredible. Also, it was a classic. The public doesn't know shit because I would imagine half of everyone's remaining Survivor Leagues got wiped out with this game where it's like, oh, it's Marcus Mariota, the Commanders stink. The Seahawks never lose. Sam Darnold's back.

Yeah.

It's hard to win in this league. By the way, you know how we talk about, uh, they've made everything a GAMI. It's really annoying. The QB GAMI where they do stat lines. It's so stupid. This one I did like just because Marcus Mariota had a stat line that has happened 3 times before. And most recently it was by Dick Wood on October 24th, 1967.

Yep.

Shout out to Dick Wood. Dick Wood. Good job, Dick Wood. I looked him up. He married his high school sweetheart named Peggy, which is like the most—

Peggy Wood.

The most like 1950s shit ever.

Yeah. Dick and Peggy.

A guy named Dick Wood to marry Richard Wood to marry Peggy. So shout out to Dick Wood.

He is dead.

Oh, shout out. Yeah, I bet he died.

Sound like he lived a great life.

He lived a great life. He lived a great life. Okay. Before we get to our next game, DraftKings, DraftKings. The football season is heating up and every week feels bigger with DraftKings. DraftKings app is now live in all 50 states. That means from Texas to California to Florida, every fan is in on the excitement. Follow the teams you love, keep up with the biggest games, and experience the excitement of football all week long, no matter what, which game you're watching. You always connected with one app, one app, every sport, all 50 states. New DraftKings customers sign up with code TAKE, spend just $5 and get $150 in rewards within 14 days. Includes all markets. That's code TAKE in partnership with DraftKings. The crown is yours.

Gambling problem?

Call 1-800-GAMBLER, 1-800-MY-RESET. Connecticut, call 888-789-7777. Visit ccpg.org.

On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas, bed tax pass-through may apply in Illinois.

21 and over, Offer void in Canada.

Bet with DraftKings Sportsbook to get bonus bets that expire in 7 days, or trade with DraftKings Predictions to get Predictions Dollars that expire in 1 year.

Event contract trading involves risk of loss.

Predictions offer void in New York. Non-withdrawable rewards issued as $50 click-to-claims every 7 days for 14 days. Terms at dkng.co/offer. Limited-time offer nationwide based on Sportsbook predictions and free-to-play sports contest availability.

Varies by state.

We also are brought to you by our friends at YouTube TV. Guys, the NFL season is finally here, and if you're like me, your Sunday revolves entirely around making sure you don't miss A single, single snap of the action. Why limit yourself to one game on Sunday? You should be in total command, seeing every big play and every touchdown across the entire league right there on your big screen. But thank God for NFL Sunday Ticket and YouTube TV. It literally gets you every game every Sunday, plus features like multi-view so you can watch up to 4 games at once. You can just lock in and watch the games unfold without missing a thing. And get this, for new users, it's just 8 payments of $30 a month. Stop stressing out and go sign up right now at youtube.com/NFLST. New users pay $240 or 8 non-cancelable payments of $30 a month. First charge at purchase. Availability varies with NFL Sunday Ticket for out-of-market games and YouTube TV for local and national games. YouTube TV required. Terms and embargoes apply. Device and content restrictions apply to multi-view. Commercial use excluded.

No refunds.

Okay, Browns 21, Panthers 18. You're 2-1, Cleveland Browns. PFT, we do not owe any, uh, Brown— Browns fan, uh, AWL, a $50,000 prize or 2 toilets.

That's correct.

I do think we should run it back up for Thursday Night Football. Well, we can decide what the number is, but that was a thrilling bet. There was a moment in time during this game That I actually live bet the Browns -22.5 because I was like, the Browns might just be good.

Yeah. So about that bet, I just recently found out like 6 hours ago that after we set the stakes of that bet, Colton was having dinner with one of the fellas and said, it's kind of weird because like I actually need a new toilet. So I think that maybe we should buy Colton a new toilet.

OK. Yeah, we could buy him a new toilet.

OK.

He rents.

Or does he own?

Oh, he owns.

All right.

So we can buy him a new toilet.

New toilet's yours.

Because I was going to say, Colton, like, what a, what a dumb dumb if he like rents and says, I need a new toilet. Like, just call your landlord. All right. We got to get— I don't even want to ask any more questions.

Yep.

I don't know what happened. That's between him and the Lord.

But we're going to get him a new toilet. But yes, the Browns. There was a moment in time, by the way, that we should— I should have said at the start of the show, the witching hour gods just shown on us because we had the Browns taking the lead, uh, against the Panthers as the fumble happened in the Steelers-Bengals game, as the, uh, Texans I think lost the game to the Colts. It was like all happening in a sequence of events that was incredible, and the Browns were part of it. The Browns had an exciting part of it, and, uh, I mean, the Browns defense was awesome. They, they— Jalen Coker going out definitely hurt Bryce, Bryce Young. But the Browns defense, this is the defense we talked about in the offseason. This is the defense we said, hey, this team is going to be better than people think. And it was all the young dudes. Jared Verse had, had 6 pressures. Uh, Derek Barnett had 5 pressures. Mason Graham had 2 sacks. They forced 3 punts and 3, uh, turnovers on downs. The Panthers went 4 for 18 on 3rd and 4th down. That was the Browns defense that, that was suffocating.

And then Deshaun Watson, is, is he, is he good?

Well, he was 16 for 30. Uh, he did have 2 touchdowns today. He didn't look bad. If you watch the game, he didn't look bad. He was, he was a solid game manager.

He's back-to-back weeks now, Deshaun Watson has taken the Browns down the field for a 4th quarter touchdown to, to lead a game. Now this one, he did try to throw an interception. There was the, uh, roughing the passer, and then—

Which was the right call.

Was the right call. Shedeur came in for one play, then, then Deshaun came in. But I, I don't know what to think because I, I think Deshaun— I'm not gonna say he's good. He's getting dangerously close to being good.

He's— I think he's above average in terms of the last 26 years of Browns quarterbacks. Well, he would be, he would be in the top 50%ile of that list as he's playing right now.

He's actually above average, like historically, not even the last 25 years. I think he is. I think he, I think there are only 8 quarterbacks in Browns history that are .500 or better as a starter. And he's one of them.

Is he really? Yeah.

Well, no, only 8.

I was thinking like since the reinception of the Browns.

Yeah.

Yeah. The new look Browns.

Uh, he's the first Browns quarterback since Baker Mayfield in weeks 14 and 15 of the 2018 season to lead game-winning TD drives in the 4th quarter consecutive games. So there's that. And yeah, I, I think he's good. I'm, again, I'm not gonna say he's good. I think he's, he's brushing up against good. He's—

well, maybe he's making good brush up against him.

Yes.

To let him know that he's ready and he's giving good the nod. He's ready to be good.

Yes.

If that's something that they do there.

Yes.

Um, Mason Graham, you kind of undersold it a little bit because he had, uh, 2 sacks, 3 tackles for loss, 2 quarterback hits today.

Yeah, like 7 pressures.

Yeah, he was just— he was in Bryce's face all afternoon. Um, the funniest possible outcome to this game would have been if they had that, that hit on Deshaun where he came out of the game, then Shedeur gets in, throws a touchdown pass, And that's how the Browns win. That's what I was kind of hoping for. Credit to Browns fans, though.

They—

I don't want to say they didn't really pick one side or the other whether or not to boo.

Yeah.

With Deshaun, they made it just abundantly clear that the booing of Deshaun would be immediate on a play-to-play basis.

Yeah.

So if there was an inter— if there's incomplete pass, boo.

That's what I kind of expected. It was, it was, it was, it was based purely on what he was doing on the field.

On that, that the most recent play, whatever the most recent play was. That's whether or not they were going to take a moral stand.

It was, it was, it was the most capitalistic boo you could have.

Yes.

It was the market decided the boos.

Shameless.

Yes.

But also, like, I'm glad that Browns fans got a win at home. Bryce Young, maybe it was a little bit too early for us to say that he can win as a favorite.

Well, he got banged up. Well, he did win as a favorite last week.

Right. That's what I'm saying.

Yeah.

His winning streak stops at 1.

Yep.

For winning as a favorite.

And what a win it was.

It is. It's absolutely screenshot season for Browns fans. Take all the screenshots that you can get of the conference or of the division standings.

But they're not like—

you need, you need to just cement this into your brain, sear it in there, and you'll have something to think back and feel warm and fuzzy about in the cold, cold winter months.

But wait, I see it on ESPN. The Browns are last.

They're last still. I don't know why.

Yeah, I don't.

Point differential.

Maybe conference as well. They're 0-1 in the conference. Yeah, worst point differential, 0-1 in the conference. So how— so yeah, they're not—

Yeah, they're in last.

Thursday, game of the century, as Dom has said, against the Steelers. If they win that game, they will absolutely be in first for at least the week until the weekend because they'd be 3-1 and no one else would be.

They control their own destiny.

But yeah, as I'm seeing it right now, I don't know how would they be How would you get them in first? Because even if you did it alphabetically, Cincinnati would be—

It beats Cleveland.

Yeah.

What about—

let's see.

Yeah.

And so does Baltimore.

Yeah.

So how would we get— and so they're just not in— they're tied for first.

So, bang.

And we're not going to take that away from them, but they don't— they don't get to sit in first.

If it's B, Bengals, B, R, even that alphabetical doesn't work. No, there's got to be some weird—

wait, what?

Some weird—

what do you got? Win streak. If you sort it by that.

Oh, okay.

Win streak. They have won 2 in a row.

Nailed it.

That's true.

Which— that, that's how it should be done.

Yeah, everyone, everyone agrees you have to do it by, by win streak. Yeah, they're— but hey, the Browns are kind of like— they're morphing into what we kind of thought they were going to be at the beginning of season 2. I think they're going to maybe beat like a lot of really good teams? Probably not. But their defense is going to keep them in every single game. And if Deshaun Watson can keep brushing up against good, they're going to be a decent team. They're going to be a salty team and a team that's tough to beat. And I'm excited for Thursday Night Football. I'm excited. This does feel like too many good things though. Like the Browns are— if you, if you go by win streak, the Browns are in first place in the AFC North. 4th, and the Guardians are, uh, first in the Central. They won the Central over the weekend, and I think that's the first time that's happened since 1994, uh, where you can, you can look at it through by win streak and see the, the Browns in first and the Guardians in first at the same time. And I think that this would be— yeah, I mean, it's, it's good.

Cleveland rocks right now. A lot, a lot going on in Cleveland.

Yeah, I, uh, I, I appreciated his— Todd Monken's postgame press conference today. And by the way, Todd Monken might be winning me over.

Yeah.

I think he's— I think he's— for whatever reason, I'm fascinated by him. I think he's kind of a funny guy and he kind of appreciates sometimes the weird situations that he's found himself in with his franchise.

Yeah.

So he was like, Thursday night, Pittsburgh Steelers, we're all in first place. So according to Todd Monken, they are in first place. We're playing for first place. Holy shit. Isn't that cool or what? Todd Monken, you're right. Yeah, that's very cool that you're playing for first place. And yeah, you are on a win streak. And let's not talk about the fact that maybe that win against the Buccaneers wasn't as impressive as we thought that it was at the time.

But it's not yuck to yum.

The bottom line is you're all in first place.

You're all in first place.

And that's cool.

And Deshaun Watson, back-to-back games, has gone the length of the field basically and scored a touchdown at the end. And Harold Fannon is awesome. 7 catches, 52 yards, 2 touchdowns. Yeah, the Browns. Listen, baby steps. You had even Todd Monken even said he was like, we're 2-1 and we haven't even touched what we can be.

Yeah.

Don't touch that.

Don't touch it yet.

Be careful.

You're getting close.

Don't get too close. And then the Panthers are kind of the same. I mean, the entire— the NFC South is the reverse where there's 3 teams that are 1-2 and then the Bucs. So the Panthers are— they lost this game, but they're still in first.

Very much in first.

Well, not if you go by winning streak. That would probably be the Falcons.

The Falcons are— is a 1-game winning streak.

Yeah, I think so. Sort it for us, Max.

Yeah, it's got to be because it's going to say W-1 next to it.

Right. You got to— yeah. No, it's got to be W-1. The Falcons lost their— won their last one. So the Falcons are in first. According to that. Yeah, I don't know how else you would— I mean, I think we all agree that you have to go by the winning streak.

That's what we've always done.

Yeah, we always have done that. Okay, next up, Lions 31, Jets 24. Memes. Jahmyr Gibbs is really fucking good and really hard to tackle. And you got Jahmyr Gibbs.

Yeah, we got Jahmyr Gibbs hard.

3 touchdowns in the second half. He even did the Aaron Glenn celebration. He was mocking Aaron Glenn. Did you see that?

Yeah, it could have been a compliment.

Could have been a compliment, true.

Uh, out of respect.

Yeah, the Jets were— they hung tough. They were playing tough. Like, they, they started kind of slow and then Geno was dicing them up. Kenyan Sadiq is an absolute stud. He was making great catches, scored his First touchdown catch, right?

First touchdown catch.

And I mean, you guys had the game tied. You're just defense— the line, like, they just went down the field in basically 2 seconds after you tied the game at 24. And that was it.

Yeah.

Defense collapsed in the second half. They did make the one stop, but is what it is. But, you know, Geno was slinging it today.

Yeah, he was.

He played really well.

321 yards.

And you have a tight end now. And I can't remember the last time that the Jets had a good tight end.

Yeah, it's been a while.

For like a pass-catching tight end. Yeah, who would the last one be?

Sadiq is awesome. Like Dustin Keller?

Dustin Keller was the only one I could think of. But yeah, Sadiq looks like he's gonna be a force.

You were thinking of Dustin Keller? Yeah, we all were.

No, no, he was like— that's the last guy from the Jets that I can remember being like an actual threat But from the tight end position, like, you've had some blocking tight ends.

A bunch, but we haven't had a good one.

Yeah.

Yeah. Za'Farian Jenkins had a good season.

Yeah.

They also only won 4 games that year.

Yeah.

So you guys have— and you had 2, not 1, but 2 players with over 100 receiving yards today. Like, there's a lot of stuff that you should be happy about. The defense, not so much.

Defense showed signs in the first half. We just got outmanned. It was just—

Jahmyr Gibbs is special. Like, he was just cutting through everything, and he's just— I mean, this is why he's the best back in the, in the NFL.

Yeah, he was so good. They couldn't tackle shit.

Couldn't tackle him. And, uh, yeah, I, I— the Lions defense is still a major, major concern because you saw Geno was very comfortable, like, just You know, throwing it downfield, hitting everyone. But credit to the Lions, they did draw up that perfect blitz on the last play to get to, you know, Geno didn't really see that coming. And it was the strip sack that ended the game.

They just—

I think that's kind of what the Lions are planning on doing is just score 31 points. So this is the 3rd straight week they've scored exactly 31 points and hope your defense can get one big stop at the end.

The defense ranked 31st. And they only score 31 points. Yeah, they're very, very consistent as a team. And, uh, memes, I think that you had your chances to win. You blitzed a lot, but the blitzes just never got home. Goff carved you up when you blitzed.

Yeah, no, he was, he was awesome.

He had, uh, I think he was 14 for 14 against the blitz today, 148 yards and touchdown.

I think they got to him one time, but like the pass rush wasn't there the only time they could even try to get to him. him was on the blitz. So that, that was concerning.

Is Breece Hall okay?

I don't think so.

Oh, that's not good.

Might be out a couple weeks.

That was not the answer we were looking for.

It sounded like you were going to say, I think so.

No, I think Garrett Wilson's okay though.

Garrett Wilson is okay, but Breece Hall's not. Braylon Allen time.

Badger.

Yeah, Braylon Allen time.

Breece Hall on his leg injury. I don't know the severity yet. I felt something when I was running and then got tackled and planted And then felt something else. So we'll see. Oh, that's—

That sounds bad.

Feeling one thing, then feeling another is not good.

Not good at all.

You got Jahmyr Gibbs.

He's so good.

We got Jahmyr Gibbs.

Yeah, he's got a—

through—

he's the first player in NFL history to produce the following statistics through the first 3 games of any season: 300 rushing yards, 4 rushing TDs, 150 receiving yards, 2 receiving TDs.

He's insane.

That's nuts.

Guy is insane. Memes, do you want the Bears to win on Monday night because you're playing at the Bears next week, or would you rather the Bears lose to the Eagles?

I think I'd rather the Bears win.

Yep.

Correct. Right?

Yeah, definitely. You passed the test.

I was gonna say it doesn't matter, but—

No, no, no, it definitely matters. Definitely matters.

You know ball.

Definitely.

Are you seeing, are you seeing improvement week to week from this team?

Seeing improvement in some areas. It's like they each take their turn improving like each week, like it's either the defense or it's either the offense. They're not coming together as one. Also, the Jets special teams is just falling off a cliff again. The Lions just got the ball at the 40 every single time.

Yeah, well, that's Tom Kennedy.

Farmingdale.

You know that about Tom Kennedy. He's the man.

You got Kennedy.

Yeah.

Which is never a good thing.

Yeah, that could be a lot of things.

Yeah. Get your sailor—

your head blown off. You could get—

Kennedy had one driving to a creek.

Yep. No one rescues you.

Sailors had 2.

Kennedy put you into a— give you a lobotomy because you're a woman who has an opinion in like 1950.

Just go out.

There's a lot of things that could be bad about being a Kennedy.

End up waking up and your head's in some waiter's hand.

You got Kevin.

Bad stuff. Yeah.

Crash a plane. Yeah.

Well, if you're a jet, there's a lot of things and you're flying at night. There's a lot of things that you get Kennedy and none of them are good.

No, none of them.

You could have—

I'm just trying to think. No, I don't think any of them.

No, no, no. You might wake up in bed next to Marilyn Monroe.

True, true. No, that's actually not good.

What?

Marilyn Monroe was famously, like, disgusting and ate in bed and had, like, shit all in her bed.

She smelled bad.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You just never want to meet your heroes kind of thing, kind of situation.

Maybe that was just something that they said so that, like, her boyfriend would say that so nobody else would want to date her. Oh, you wouldn't want to hang out with Marilyn Monroe.

I think it was Joe DiMaggio.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's, it's crazy to think about. Like, Marilyn Monroe was just the hottest woman, but everyone was like, that's the hottest woman. And there's just no one even close to being hotter. Like, that doesn't happen anymore.

Sydney Sweeney.

But there's a lot of people who are like, she's not the hottest woman. Like, Marilyn Monroe was just universally like, oh, that's the answer to the hottest woman alive. Yeah, that's just such a bizarre thing.

I feel like Sydney's kind of taken that.

No.

She is the stand-in for hot chick.

I know there's a lot of— there's, there's enough people who are like, oh, like her face isn't like— I'm not saying it's me. I happen to be fond of Sydney Sweeney. But there's a lot of people who pick other women if you ask them. Marilyn Monroe was the answer for like 30 years. It was also just fucking nuts.

She could just like very much curate what pictures of her got out there.

Yeah, do like a 2-hour photo shoot, pictures, and then it's like, OK, yeah, we can only use these 2. What was the deal with the cone bras back then?

In the day.

Well, nipples used to be different.

Well, how so?

If you look at like old school nipples from—

I can't say I've looked at old school nipples.

You haven't seen like vintage?

We got to look that up.

Yeah. Old school nipples.

Boobs were different back in the day.

I know boobs are different, but the cone titties were weird. All right. Now you're just baby bottles.

Oh, you've got SafeSearch.

Yeah.

You want me to turn that off?

You're such a pussy, dude. SafeSearch on.

This is workplace.

Well, barely. We should get Max. We should write up Max. We're actually going— Hank said that he's thinking about emailing HR about Memes touching him.

He was. He also told Memes that he could fire him, though.

Yeah.

All right. Max is never going to find this.

Yeah, you can't.

I don't know how he really thinks.

We're trying to find out why. Why nipples?

Oh, we got it different.

This is no help.

I don't want to sign in.

Sign in, dude. Either way, the cone— the cone bras never made sense to me.

Hank, do you know why nipples used to look different?

No idea.

Boobs.

Old school nipples just brings you to probably nutrition.

Yeah, maybe nutrition, maybe bra technology.

Probably what they're putting in our bread.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Maybe like the oils, essential oils, microplastics.

Yeah.

The butter.

Yeah, the butter. Oh, the butter. Dude, they haven't given us good butter in a long time.

It was probably— that was probably margarine times.

These are nipple— wait, hold on. Go back to that. 6 nipple changes that should be checked out on a man. Hold on. Let me—

Oh, yeah.

Like dudes can get—

dudes can get breast cancer, too.

Yeah. I want to just see this because I— all right.

I don't know where you're seeing the man thing.

Well, those look like man's on the top right.

No, those are bottom left. Those are all women.

They're for sure female. Female nipples.

All right. All right.

So that was the Jets recap.

Colts 19, Texans 17. Ah, this is our Colts. They're— the Colts might be back. I mean, there's 2 good games in a row. They obviously were very close and probably should have beaten the Chiefs if they had balls and went for it and tried to win that game on Sunday Night Football. And then they come out and their defense looked So bad against, uh, week 1 against the Ravens, bad against the Chiefs. They came out, they played really well against the Texans the first half. So the, so the Colts going into this game, it allowed the 2nd most yards in NFL history through 2 weeks.

Yeah.

And then they gave up 67 yards in the first half, 223 in the full game. They made the stops. And I don't really know what you do if you're the Texans other than the fact that you've done this before. And you just hope that you could do it again because the only teams to make the playoffs after an 0-3 start since 2000 are the 2018 Texans and the 2025 Texans.

Yeah.

So they've got the experience. There's only one team that's ever started 0-4 and made the playoffs. The 1992 Chargers.

The Chargers.

Chargers.

The Chargers.

The Chargers.

I know that I said a couple of weeks ago, I think the first 2 weeks that the Texans should not panic.

I think they should panic.

I think it's about time where they should start to panic a little bit.

Well, if panicking for the Texans is just making sure you do everything to get Nico Collins back, that's a good panic because he is the— like, their offense is just not the same and they can't move the ball. Uh, their run game is still not— like, they've tried to invest in it and it doesn't look much better. I don't— their defense is so good. Will Anderson is so goddamn good. He tried to win this game by himself. And the Texans now, uh, the most losses when allowing fewer than 21 points since the start of the 2025 season. They have 6 of them, including the last 2 games. So that's pretty insane. They, they, they do enough on the defensive side to always win the game, and their offense can't do it. And, uh, it's got to be really frustrating if you're a Texans fan.

Yeah, very, very frustrating. And CJ Stroud has Obviously he's lacking his weapons at receiver. So that's going to be a problem. And the complete lack of a ground game will do this to a quarterback and make them very, very one-dimensional and easy to stop. But he, he has not looked extremely sharp. And I don't think—

He needs Nico Collins.

It's not time to panic. I would say this. It's time to stop fucking around.

Yeah.

You can't fuck around anymore, Houston. You've done it enough. And even though I think they're a better team than the Colts overall, The Colts, like, I felt like today that was not the case. I would bet almost everything I have that the Texans will end up with a better record than the Colts at the end of the season. But today it did not look like they were a complete team. It didn't look like they were locked in. And at some point you're going to get some inner squad beef, like going into year 3 of the defense being so much better than the offense.

Oh yeah.

And carrying the team. That stat that you just said was crazy about How many, how many times?

6 times.

They've, they've lost games where they've allowed, what, fewer than 21 points? At some point, that's going— that tension is going to boil over in the locker room and it's not going to be good. I did do some research, though, about— you remember when CJ Stroud was doing the thumb thing?

Yeah.

He's looking at his thumbs.

Yeah.

Trying to figure out what that was. He's training his, his eyes to not overshoot receivers. Oh, because the human— I guess the human eye has a tendency when they track side to side to go too far, huh? And you're supposed to go less far than you think you are. So it's like eye muscle exercises, but maybe he's gone too far with it.

He's got— and maybe he's going to bring it back.

His eyes aren't going out wide enough.

I don't know.

He also called— he kind of— he was not really subtle when he called out his OC after the game. He said, we can't just play conservative. We've got to be aggressive and attack and not be the attack. Uh, and I would agree with that.

They got—

it feels like, it feels like the Texans should offensively try to take more shots. And again, I can't stress enough, Nico Collins is like a game changer. But they need to— if your defense is that good, don't be like, hey, let's try to win every game, you know, 16 to 13. Try, try to, you know, like try to take your shots knowing your defense can get you out of a lot of these holes.

Right.

I don't know, maybe I'm, maybe I'm thinking about it the reverse way, but it just— when you play these games and you play a conservative style, you end up losing these games where you hold your opponent to under 21 and you lose by a field goal.

What did you think about the roof open situation in Indy?

Hell.

The crazy sun, the crazy shadows.

Hell on earth.

It was, it was hell in my living room trying to watch it.

In the gambling.

That's my Sunday living room.

Yeah, that is your living room. It was hell. It was so hard to watch this game.

Yeah.

For the first 3 quarters, it was crazy.

And that's—

that is—

I don't even think that's an advantage for the Colts. No, because that's not something that you can practice to. Yeah, it just sucks for everybody.

It's—

it's impossible, impossible to watch and see what's going on. Yeah, the Colts had a— I think that was a— was that a kickoff fumble? Yeah, but who knows because you couldn't see it.

Well, that's the thing is like Like if you fumble a kickoff, I feel like those— you lose that game 99% of the time. Yeah. On the very first play.

Well, that wasn't the first play, but yes, the Raiders fumbled the kickoff and they still won. So yeah, but 99.9% unless you're the Raiders, the 3-0 Raiders who are playing unbelievable football, which we'll get to. Danny Jones, I don't know. He's— he was fine. He wasn't like like lighting the world on fire, but he's— he, he lost a couple fumbles.

I—

this was just like a good old-fashioned AFC South slugfest of both teams almost losing the game but finding a way— the Colts finding a way to win the game. And I am— I will count like the Colts' effort against the Chiefs on Sunday night impressed me. So maybe the Colts have more life than we thought. They might. And if you, if you had to pick one team that could bounce back from being 0-3, it's the Texans, obviously.

Yeah, I think, I think they'll be okay.

Congrats to Sauce Gardner.

They got to quit fucking around. Yeah. Yeah. First time.

Finally won a game in the United States. 651 days. 651 days. That's a long-ass time.

Yep.

Finally won a game. Okay, let's do a couple ads and then we'll get to the last 2 early games and then we will get to the late games.

Before we get back to the game, recaps are brought to you by our good friends over at BetterHelp. If you could wake up tomorrow and be better at one thing, what would that be and why? Mine would probably be organizing my time, making sure to wake up early enough to work out. Well, better is a feeling and it's defined by you. And for BetterHelp, it's a BetterHelp therapist who really gets you. It's a focus on global emotional well-being with thousands of therapists and millions of members in over 100 countries. It's progress. Sign up, get 10% off. betterhelp.com/pmt. That's betterhelp.com/pmt. betterhelp.com/pmt. And part of my take is also brought to you by our great friends over at TickPick, the no-nonsense ticket app. You know the runaround with big ticket sites, fees layered into the final cost. You're left wondering whether you overpaid. TickPick doesn't play that game. No nonsense, no service fees That means the exact same seat costs less on TickPick, and every order is backed by their Buyer Trust Guarantee. 100% authentic tickets delivered on time. Fans trust TickPick. The reviews say it better than I can. Check them yourself. In partnership with TickPick, we're giving away 2 tickets to one lucky winner for Game 2 of the Cubs wildcard game this Wednesday.

How about that?

We're giving away 2 tickets, 1 lucky winner. Game 2, we're going to bring it.

Yeah. Chicago in San Diego.

San Diego.

Cubs fans in San Diego.

Yep. So we need to get more people to the game, support the Cubs. If you want a chance to win, let us know why you're deserving in the comments of our giveaway tweet that's going up today. We're going to be picking a winner tomorrow at 2:00 PM Central Time. That's 2:00 PM Central Time. Check it out. We will pick a winner. We want to send somebody, uh, to that game on Wednesday. Cubs, Pods in San Diego. Very excited about that. And if you're looking to buy tickets to that game, I got the app pulled up right here. Super easy. Um, we're looking at about $103, $119, uh, out in sunny, beautiful San Diego.

I wish Hank was here right now. Probably he got up to go to the bathroom and we, we would have probably pounced on those tickets.

I think that— yeah, I think that's probably— dang it, would have been a fair deal.

Now he's back.

Unfortunately, we can't Yeah, yeah. Download the TickPick app. Never pay another service fee again. New TickPick customers take $20 off your first order. Promo code PMT20 in the TickPick app. Orders must be $200 or more to apply. That's PMT20 at checkout. $20 off your first order with TickPick.

Dang, Hank.

Could have gone to San Diego.

Would have loved that.

What is that? Are you doing Trump?

They're showing him.

Do Trump again.

Do it. I can't do Trump.

No, you did it with the hands.

Great.

San Diego, beautiful place.

Very fun.

Nailed it.

Nailed it.

There's probably the most impressions ever of one person is President Trump. And Hank just submitted the worst.

I wouldn't say that.

I think—

I think the hands are really good.

I was—

I was watching more than that.

You're doing the accordion.

Yeah.

Got to give the— we're going to Petco Park.

I'm not an impression guy.

I sound like Mr. Bean.

I can do— I can do animals. Let's stick with animals.

Tiger. Oh, nice.

Elephant.

No, that's his horse.

Yeah.

Did you do this again?

Do this again?

Yeah, that's good.

Zebra.

Oh, nice.

That's good.

That's exactly what it is.

Yeah.

All right. Chiefs 24, Dolphins 10. I don't have much on this game other than the Chiefs are really good and they kind of not struggled, but the Dolphins were more alive than I thought and moved the ball better than I thought going into this game. So that was like It was a 17-10 game, you know, in the second half.

I mean, considering that Achane went out in the first half, right?

Yeah.

The Dolphins kept it more competitive than I thought they would, than most people.

I mean, they were kind of like—

The Chiefs still covered, don't get me wrong.

Yeah, no, the Dolphins were like moving the ball and then not completing the drives, but they were moving the ball.

We're giving them— we're grading on a curve.

They were moving the ball.

Yeah, yeah, it was not totally unwatchable football.

No, no, I'm sorry. It was 14-10 going into the 4th quarter. 14-10.

Why don't the Dolphins blitz on defense?

I don't think they— I don't think they're— they're too young. I don't think they know how it works.

They're too young to blitz. That's not always how it works.

Their parents won't allow them to.

Yeah, right. They're grounded.

Yeah.

Because if you look at the stats in this game, the Chiefs blitzed so much more than the Dolphins and the Dolphins having such a, you know, not to put them down, but somewhat of a lack of talent on defense at this point. I think even Dolphins fans would agree with that. Why not just blitz? And I was thinking about it, and the only reason is because— oh yeah, that's right, they're— because they're trying to lose. So doing a great job of that, by the way.

Yeah, they are doing a good job of that. The Chiefs, bad news for everyone. The Chiefs, when they start 3-0 since 2019, they made the Super Bowl.

Okay.

So, hey, that's bad news.

Records are meant to be broken.

Also crazy. Chiefs 3-0, Raiders 3-0 next week. That's going to be fun. Chiefs at Raiders, game of the century.

Great time.

That's a great time.

Great time.

What?

What are you shaking your head for?

That's not the game of the century. The game of the century is Thursday night football.

That's the game of the century of the week.

Yeah.

There's, there's one game of the century this week. And it's Browns-Steelers.

Okay. Then Chiefs-Raiders, the battle for it all. Does that work?

Sure.

Hank, you want some crazy stats?

Sure.

QBs to win 115+ of their first 150 starts. Tom Brady and Patrick Mahomes. Tom Brady threw his first 150 games 115-35. Patrick Mahomes threw his first 150 games 115-35.

Wow.

Brady threw 129 regular season games, 98 and 31. Mahomes threw 129 regular season games, 98 and 31. Both 7-2 in AFC title games, both 3-2 in Super Bowls in their first 5.

Wow.

That's crazy.

It's pretty nuts.

And they, they look—

It's nuts.

As good as ever.

I think the craziest part is to say those stats and then be like, Like, and now Mahomes has to have an entire second career, which he definitely—

he's got to win 5 more.

Yeah, he's got to play for like another 10, 15 years and do all the second part of it. Because that is like that.

That's why the Eagles— the Eagles being in the last 5 was huge.

What?

Him losing his last Super Bowl was huge.

Eagles.

Yeah, the 3 in a row would have been tough.

Yeah.

Brady would have never done before.

And he would have been ahead like they're on the same pace. But he would have been ahead of him and, you know, had the 3 in a row in his back pocket.

Also, Kenneth Walker continues to be awesome and like gives the Chiefs a totally different dimension. You can just see it every single week. Play action, him running hard. Yeah, they're really good. I don't know when the Dolphins are going to win their first game. I again say something nice about the Dolphins. They were more alive than I expected.

Very much.

Did feel like the Chiefs were kind of playing with their food a little bit where they could have scored more if they wanted to. But that's neither here nor there. They covered.

It was, it was a sick play that they ran to Kenneth Walker too for that touchdown.

Yeah.

They're a little like underhanded pass from Mahomes. Also, I love, I love it when Andy Reid gets cute in the red zone.

Yeah. Also, Travis Kelce is just back. It's crazy that that was a vintage route he ran for the touchdown pass. He's just back. I like— I, I don't know how it's possible, but he looks— I mean, it's obviously not going to be like prime Travis Kelce, but he, he feels like he's better than he was last year when last year, like, this guy's gonna retire.

Remember, we thought when we thought he was fat in training camp?

Yeah, he was, but he wasn't because we talked about him.

He decided to start working hard.

Yeah, got better.

Yeah.

It's crazy. Okay. Giants 12, Titans 7.

Oh, one thing about this game.

Yeah.

Chop Robinson.

Yeah.

The sack that he had on Mahomes or the hit that he had on Mahomes.

Yeah.

That is like case in point of this is some bullshit. NFL, figure it the fuck out.

But also they're going to call it.

They're going to call.

But I mean, that is— it was a very legal hit that he did.

Yeah.

And then they called him landing with his body weight on a quarterback. But as he hit him, he had the presence of mind to even try to not land with his body weight in midair. He made like a split-second decision, which is pretty much physically impossible to do as you're go— as you're landing on a quarterback, to take your hands up in the air and then try to stop your body, the inertia of your body, from landing on Mahomes. He tried as hard as is humanly possible. And it's just— it's a stupid rule. I hate that rule. And that should be case in point of why it's dumb.

Yeah, it's a really dumb rule, but I wasn't surprised when it was called. If you showed me that play and said, what is going to be the call here? I would have been like, yeah, he's going to get roughing the passer just because they, they especially against Mahomes, they're going to call it every time. But I agree, it was, it was terrible. He tried his hardest to not like he was making a play and then tried to abort at the last second.

And it's like he like closed his eyes and wished that his body wouldn't land on him.

on him.

Yes, he did everything that he could.

I agree. Okay, uh, Giants 12, Titans 7. This was a gross, gross game. Let's start with Jameis. Jameis did enough to win a game. He, uh, didn't turn the ball over. He played to the conditions. I think that's like— it was like disgusting out in, in New York, a nor'easter. He had some great Jameis quotes. He said before the game, one thing that I do is forgetting those that is behind. And reaching forward to what's ahead. That's a fact. And then he also said he's winning this game for Jackson, or after he said he won this game for Jackson, 12 points, 6 times 2, it's for you.

Yeah, think about it.

Beautiful. And I think Jameis is now rubbing off on Harbaugh because Harbaugh said after the game, I thought Jameis did what was required in this game. The first thing you have to do is what's necessary, what's required. After that, then you can do what's possible. Then maybe the impossible becomes possible. That's some from Saint Francis of Assisi, in case you were wondering. He said that. So yeah, I think he's rubbing— I think Harbaugh's changing his style. Like maybe Jackson Dart, he had to coach him one way.

Mm-hmm.

We had to be like the cool young coach. Now he can just say quotes that we all are like, huh? And say, well, it's from the Bible at the end. And we're like, oh, okay.

Yeah, it makes sense then.

Yeah.

Like that one that, that Jameis had about the horse.

Yeah.

I forget what that was, but that inspired me.

Yeah.

Just as a fan.

Yeah.

Jameis played good enough to win because— and anyone that says that he didn't, well, they did win.

Yeah.

So fact is, he did play good enough to win.

Fact or fiction? They won.

That's a fact.

Fact.

So is it time to have a conversation about Cam Ward? Yes, I think it might be time. It might be past time.

I think it's past time.

I think maybe it's past— we should have had it earlier, but we like when he says stuff in postgame press conferences like, I played like ass. Yeah. Like when he stands up and he goes, I suck shit. And we're like, yeah, that's true. You do. Because I saw it. I agree with you. You're honest. And we like that. But maybe it's not good that every week he's like, yeah, I suck.

Yeah.

Like once— he's being very honest. He should get credit for that. But also your quarterback, he shouldn't be ass all the time.

Yeah, he, he might, he might be ass.

He might be ass. He might be ass.

And it's like, hey, when, when they try to tell you who they are, listen. Yeah. That's what we should have done with Cam Ward.

Like he's been trying to warn us.

Yeah.

And we should have paid attention as opposed to being like, that's awesome that he keeps saying that.

Oh, that's so cool. He's taking accountability that he's ass.

No, no, no.

He's ass.

Yeah.

There was, there was one play today where he did the thing where he acts and he did this in college too sometimes where he acts extremely extremely, I guess the best word is nonchalant.

Yeah.

During a play. I don't know if he was trying to sell a play action on it. I don't think that he was because he had already kind of taken the ball out from behind his back and then he acted like a quarterback who was trying to pretend that he didn't have the ball, but he was clearly just holding the ball in front of him. Can we, Max, can you look that up? The Cam Ward nonchalant. It was, it was shocking. I don't know. I've never seen a quarterback do that before.

There, the, the 2 things Yeah, he just kind of stood there.

Like he acted like somebody blew the play dead.

Yeah. Middle of the play, which probably worked a little bit.

It might have.

Maybe you should do that more often. But first half, they were atrocious. They had one first down. Second half, they finally got in the red zone and he threw it through a pick that was dropped. Then he missed Carnell Tate, who was wide open in the end zone. Then he threw an incompletion on the 4th down. And then the last sequence when they actually are like maybe gonna win the game, they're gonna steal this game. It's, it's, it's first and goal. That was one of the worst picks you could possibly throw because not only is it first and goal, not only does he have the chance to maybe run, but he threw across his body to like— there was 2 defenders right there. I don't know. I don't— you don't have to be a film guy to be like, well, we don't know what the routes were. We don't know if a receiver did. No, no, that was just an ass pick. He just threw a terrible pick at the end of the game. I don't know if you can pull it up, Max, but like the situational football of it was so bad and then everything else was so bad about it too.

So can you, can you pull up the last— this is the first time they went in the red zone.

I saw he had the last interception.

I just want to make sure.

He definitely had room to run on it.

Yeah.

And then they, even his coach, like, Saleh kind of threw him under the bus after the game. And I don't know that you can even call it throwing under the bus, but he was just like, yeah, he needs to be smarter with the football. We've got 2 timeouts. It's first and goal on the 8. We're going to score. And yeah, he should have. I think this is, is this play right here? Yeah.

Yeah. First and goal on the 7. So he's going across his body and he throws to a covered receiver who has a linebacker right in front of them. Like, he's ass.

I want Cam Ward to be good. I would, I would like it if he was good, but I don't care. Unfortunately, I think he might be ass.

Yeah, I'm gonna say I don't care if he's good or not because I think you gotta show something. He also, I think he's got, I saw the stat, let me see if I pulled it up. Oh, 55 passes this, he's completed 55 passes this season, 0 have traveled 20 yards downfield.

That's kind of crazy.

And, and he's like built to be a backup already.

If you think back to his rookie year, his best plays, the best passes that he threw were really ill-advised passes to throw when they're like down in the game. Yeah. That ended up working out like kind of by luck.

Yep.

And they're awesome to watch, but they're also very bad choices that he made. It's, uh, so I, I guess maybe I, I want, I want the Titans to be good because they, they've been so bad for so long now, I guess ever since Since they got rid of Vrabel.

Well, here's the thing. And this is, this is like a silver lining thing that if he's going to, if Cam Ward's going to be this ass, it's not the worst thing that he's just so bad that, you know, you have to move on.

Mm-hmm.

Because there's many times when you have a quarterback and it's like they show really promising signs and they take a step back and like you're stuck in that middle ground forever. And you just don't know what to do. Cam Ward might just be straight up ass.

Yeah. Yeah.

I think the 2 saving graces are one, he, he's so bad that I don't think it's going to be a conversation like you said.

Yeah.

And then 2, his coaching staff right now, they had nothing to do with selecting him.

Yeah.

So it would be easier for them to say Cam's ass.

Yeah. And they could have won this game. They could have won this game. The only other stat I had from this game, which is a crazy stat, Uh, just kind of speaking to how hard this game was played in terms of like tough conditions because the Giants went into it and they, I mean, they kicked 4 field goals and won a football game and they went into it being like, Jameis, don't turn the ball over. We're going to, we're going to hand the ball off to Najee and Cam Scadaboo like over and over. We're going to try to play field position. Cam Scadaboo rushed for 60 yards today. 74 of those came after contact.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So that does— I don't even understand.

I don't even understand. It should be possible.

I don't— it doesn't really make sense to me. I don't really— I can't comprehend it. He just kept on getting hit. You want to say it again, Max?

Does that mean he was getting hit in the backfield?

Yes, constantly.

So that means every time a 3-yard gain, but if you get hit 2 yards behind the line of scrimmage, that's 5 yards after contact.

Yeah.

And he probably had some negative yardage.

Negative runs too, where he probably got hit and then kept on running and ran backwards and lost yards.

Yeah. So if you take like a 10-yard loss, you're still probably going to have— yeah, yeah, the yard, as long as you didn't get hit and then run backwards and get tackled for 10 yards.

Right.

Which I did see, he did have a play where he like, it basically was so clearly he was going to get stuffed that he tried to reverse field and then got got tackled for a big loss.

He—

it was hell for him. I mean, the Titans defense played good enough to win this game. It's just Cam Ward's ass.

Well, they didn't have a first— they had one first down right before halftime. I think there was like a minute and a half left in the second quarter. They finally got their, their only first down. It would have been the first team since, I believe, I think 8 years. Yeah, the first team in 8 years without a first down before halftime. Which they barely, barely avoided. Do we think the Titans season maybe, maybe peaked last week?

Hmm.

When they almost beat the Eagles.

When they almost beat the Eagles.

When they tried to fry the Eagles on the field.

Yeah.

They're—

maybe the Titans were just hot still.

Do the Titans play the Dolphins?

No, no, I don't think so.

No, they don't. Okay. I was trying to find them a win. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know what—

I don't know where they're gonna— it's tough talking about the Titans and it's week 3. It's week 3. All right, let's go to— let's go to what—

You know who their backup quarterback is?

Yeah, it's Mitch.

Mitch.

Yeah, it might be Mitch time.

It's Mitch. Listen, Mitch could play good enough to make you have a conversation. He's kind of the opposite of Cam Ward. That was what I was alluding to. Like, that's the type of guy who's like, like plays just good enough, you're like, oh, maybe.

Yeah.

That one game against Tampa, that game was so good. He was so good in that game. Okay, afternoon games. We want to talk about real offense. Uh, 49ers 36, Cardinals 30. The, the 49ers offense is absolutely humming. 437 yards, 8.7 yards per carry. The trick play on like the 5th play of the game from Mike Evans pitching it back to Deebo was awesome. Deebo Samuel also now goes in the history books, most receiving yards without catching a ball in a game, 80, which is pretty nuts.

Yeah.

He didn't catch a ball.

Yeah. I think it was the 3rd play of the game.

Yeah.

80 yards on the pitch back. I think, was that from Evans?

Zero receptions.

Sweet play. He was one of the fastest ball carriers in the NFL. Still got it. Not fat.

Gave the ball to Jack Black.

Gave the ball to—

actually, no, that was Mike Evans. Yeah.

Mike Evans is the one that always gives it to an adult.

Yeah.

Jack Black looked— I guess he looked healthy.

He looked a little different than most of the time I've seen Jack Black, but close enough that I'm convinced it's Jack Black.

He kind of looked like Jack Black mixed with Drill. He had that little smirk on his face.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The 49ers offense is absolutely incredible right now. Kittle, 2 touchdowns. He's on Kittle bobblehead day.

No. Yes.

Yep.

He's— Brock Purdy's playing. There are certain quarterbacks you can see when they like get in the zone. You know, we've seen it from Mahomes. We've seen it from Josh Allen. We've seen it from Matthew Stafford. Brock Purdy feels like that right now where the game has slowed down to him, for him to a level that like everything is just easy and it's like a video game he's playing.

Yeah. That one throw that he made on the sidelines where he like jumped in the air like like Michael Jordan style and then whipped it across his body. It looked like— was that Tonjes that caught it?

I think so.

They probably should have challenged that.

Yeah.

Because that would have been one of the best receptions of all time or one of the best passes of all time from Purdy. And the fact that Purdy is doing that right now, like they are feeling themselves. Everything's working for the offense.

Here's a crazy stat. It's like the opposite of the Titans' entire offensive philosophy. The 49ers have 3 wins in the season. They're 3-0. They have just 4 plays that have lost yards.

Yeah.

4 plays that have lost yards, excluding Neal's. 4 plays that have lost yards. That's just, that's nuts. 3 games. They just don't have negative. They just keep moving the ball in the right direction.

And I, have they given up a sack yet? They might not have given up a sack.

I don't know.

That offensive line is playing really well.

And although Trent Williams did get hurt, he went out, but they said everyone gets injured for the Niners. Mike Evans went out.

Bosa's hurt too. But I don't think they've given up a sack all season, which is obviously incredible through 3 games.

Here's one good thing you can say about the Cardinals. Jeremiah Love does look like the real deal. This was his like coming out party where he was He was awesome running the football. He was— he just looks— he looks the part. That's a— that's a—

you—

when you see it, you know it. The Cardinals might not be a good team this year, but that is going to be a really good pick. And if they can get good when he's still in his prime, that's going to be awesome.

Yeah.

Confirmed zero sacks.

Zero sacks.

Yeah.

They're the only team that has not allowed a sack this season.

And that's a lot— a lot to do with Purdy too, just playing like I said, Like video game perfect football.

I think it probably feeds— they feed each other.

Yeah.

Purdy's feeling good. He's feeling untouchable. What was that quote that Harbaugh said about like, first you do what you can, then you do the—

First thing you do is— first thing you have to do is what's necessary, what's required. After that, then you can do what's possible. Then maybe the impossible becomes possible.

That's the That's the exact evolution of Brock Purdy's career right there.

Yes. Yeah. Their 49ers offense is so much fun to watch. I would like to see them, who they have next week. I'd like to see them. They've had a nice couple of weeks where they haven't had, you know, the Broncos. They got, okay, that's gonna be a good game.

Broncos then at the Seahawks.

That's good. Okay. Now we're gonna get some, some tests for the, for the 49ers. See how good this offense is. Okay. The opposite game.

It's just about, can they stay? I don't even want to say, can they stay healthy?

Can they healthy enough?

Can they not get as unhealthy as their current trajectory puts them on? Can they slow the bleeding?

Can they not be the unhealthiest?

Yeah.

Average.

Can you have an averagely unhealthy year?

The exact— and again, the Cardinals, I don't know. They're looking back week 1, the Chargers might be one of the worst teams in the NFL. So I'm not saying that the Cardinals, but we did walk away being like, oh my God, the Cardinals might be good. I think the Cardinals are going to be exactly like a Jacoby Brissett team is where they'll probably have a couple more wins. They should probably start Carson Beck at some point to see what they have. And their offense has enough dudes, whether it be like Wilson or Trey McBride or Jeremiah Love, like they have talent, not Marvin Harrison, although he did get a couple catches today, but they'll do just enough to be in a couple of these games. I don't think they're going to be good.

be.

We don't have to like spend a lot of time talking about Cardinals.

No, we don't.

Uh, okay, the— so the opposite game, Vikings 23, Bucs 16. 17 punts in this game. 17 punts. The Vikings won a football game where they did not go into the red zone. They never played an offensive snap in the red zone. It's actually insane because the Vikings in the last 2 weeks have had 1 snap in the red And they've won both those games. They're 3-0. Brian Flores is a fucking maniac mastermind genius. He had Baker Mayfield in absolute hell, Zach. Every single play the Bucs ran was the same thing. It was essentially— I likened it to a weird, like, snuff video that you watch of a— of like an offshoot Russian UFC fight. Where it's one man trying to fight against 7 men to get himself out of a cage. That was Baker Sunday.

It was snap the ball, fight for your life.

Yes, the entire game. Every single snap the ball, fight for your life, then maybe look downfield and, oh, everyone's covered. Brian Flores has me in hell again.

A couple times you get some time in the pocket. Oh, you got nothing. Yeah, absolutely nothing. Defense kind of did their thing for a little bit, but we couldn't convert on any of those.

Yeah, defense played— I mean, I mean, Kyler Murray wasn't good. I mean, there was a couple of shots at Jordan Addison. Justin Jefferson went out of the game, but they didn't run a play in the red zone.

It was an absolute mid-off.

The punt return, was that Miles Price?

Yeah.

That was an electric return, 86 yards. That was the difference. Also, Vita Vae's big-ass arm batting down that pass that ended up being an interception. That was a cool play for you guys.

He's always going to give us a little spark, a little something for momentum, and then we just do nothing with it.

Yeah.

The worst offensive games of the season so far by success rate, the Bucs today against the Vikings was— is 1, and the Vikings today against the Bucs is 2. That tells you what, what type of game this was. But listen, the Vikings, this is their— like, if they can get anything out of Kyler, and he, he wasn't great today, but if he can get get, you know, shake the rust off and feel good in Kevin O'Connell's offense. This defense is ferocious. They have guys in absolute hell.

This was Kyler's first full game since October of last year.

Okay.

So yeah, he's, you would think that he's going to get more comfortable and it seems to be a very quarterback-friendly system that he's in. So I would say that yes, the offense should expect to get better. Todd Bowles after the game saying, We're 0-3, but we're only a game out of first place.

That is— he's— no, no, he said funny thing.

Yeah, funny thing.

But that is funny, Todd.

Funny thing, we're 0-3 and we're a game out of first.

Nothing's funny about that much coke.

No, it's kind of funny actually.

Like so much.

It is a little funny to be 0-3 and only a game out of first place.

It's one of these weird things where it's not funny, but it's all when Todd Bowles says it, it's funny that Todd Bowles said it. It's like he's like almost narrating himself.

Yeah, it's perspective.

It is like— say it to me. It's funny. It's not like a laugh out loud. Say it to me. Say that you're 0-3 and only—

We're, we're 0-3 and we're only one game back of first place.

Huh.

That's funny.

I don't think it's funny when Zach—

That's— no, but the way I said it, that's exactly— that's how it's supposed to— huh. That's funny. So it's, it's, it's not funny to laugh about it. It's, it's— that's funny to say. That's funny. Yeah, it's the extent of the funny.

It's funny that Todd Bowles thinks it's funny, right?

If we go like— if we don't use the customary system and we go metric, we are in second.

How so? But no, no, no, no, no. What do you mean by streak? No, no, you aren't by streak.

We always rank it here in last. A 1-game winning streak.

Yeah, and also you have a 3-game losing streak. So if we, if we do it by streak, you don't want us to do this by streak, dude.

I wasn't talking Not streak, but like metric podium.

That is the traditional way to go.

What?

By streak.

I don't understand what you're saying about the Olympic.

Like metric podium would be if a couple guys are tied, then we're still in—

Oh, second.

Yep.

Got it.

You are alone in second place.

That's right. But it's trying to get to—

but it's fourth.

But it's, it's 3 teams T1.

Yeah.

Customary fourth.

That's your second.

Got it.

Got it.

Yeah.

Okay.

That makes sense. Yeah. If you're going by golf standards, You were in second place.

It's closer than a lot of people think then.

That's funny.

I kind of meant it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, no, that's funny.

How's Baker? That looked— that looked like he was in a lot of pain at the end of the game. What's the issue with him? Was that like a fractured thumb?

They're saying— they said dislocated thumb after the game.

Okay.

He did like kind of Like, I don't know if he hit on a helmet or some pads earlier and he was holding it. And then later in the game, obviously you see him go down screaming on the field. Pro Football Doc said probably like 6 weeks maybe. Whoa. So yeah, we're in a bad spot.

Yeah, that's not good.

Oh, I didn't know it was that significant. I just assumed Baker's so strong, like he just, he was going to play next week.

Yeah, it's not, I don't think Baker has any plans on it being 6 weeks.

I don't. Yeah, he's not on the regular timeline when they diagnose these things.

He's kind of like Baker time, which is, I'll just Yeah, Baker seems like the kind of guy who would get into a fight with a doctor.

So it's Jalen Daniels time?

Yeah, JD5 2 times.

All right.

We'll see.

How do you feel about that?

Uh, honestly, he was kind of smooth in preseason. I don't feel the best about it. I'd rather Baker be out on the field, QB1. But I think if, if he's got a play, he can maybe make it shake a little bit.

He is smooth. I'll give you that.

Yeah.

We got nowhere to go but up. I mean, we're 0-3. So I'm down to try anything.

So he has a dislocated thumb. It was also in his throwing hand. So that obviously makes it a lot worse. What was the diagnosis that you found, Max? You're looking at other injuries.

I was looking at Pro Football Doc.

Yeah, but you were just staring at other injuries.

I was scrolling through Pro Football Doc.

And?

I'm getting sick of you.

What'd I do?

You're just scrolling.

Yeah, I was trying to find it.

Okay.

Right.

What about Dr. Jesse Morse?

I don't know.

He's got a lab coat on. He looks like— he looks like the Glenn Tape Watch version of doctor.

Yeah.

I'm the football doctor. You can trust me.

All right. So thumb, UCLA, UCL, full tear, 3 to 4 weeks surgery, fracture, 2 to 6 weeks.

Okay.

Baker Mayfield, right thumb. It could wind up being pretty problematic, require surgery.

Okay, so I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that Baker is going to do whatever he possibly can to not have surgery, probably play, and probably play too fast.

Battle of the Bays.

I'm just taking a guess on that one.

That is the most desperate game possible, the Packers versus the Bucs next week.

Yeah, it's gonna be ugly.

This was such an ugly game.

This is tough.

A brutal Coming off the Browns game too.

I know, I know. And the Vikings, I don't know, like, they'll have to figure out offense because I don't think it's sustainable to just never have plays in the red zone. But their defense will keep them in every single game.

Is, is Jefferson okay?

I don't know. It's going to take way too long for Max to find out.

It will.

Yeah.

Forget it.

I got lost in another—

oh, so, oh, so it's my fault.

No, this time I got lost. It was graph talk.

So I was right.

This is an interesting graph.

QB has no middle class.

What $50 million a year is buying you?

Okay, so they've got—

they got Baker listed as the worst quarterback in terms of like dollar by dollar paid.

Okay.

I don't—

I don't necessarily agree with that. No, but I guess he's played bad this year. So I guess maybe a graph is a graph.

Value added per dropback, and then it's how much you get paid per year.

Rodgers is cheap and struggling.

So it looks like the best quarterback, the best quarterback in the NFL right now is Drew Lock.

Where's Drew Lock?

He's top left.

Oh yeah, yeah.

In the bargains and value added.

Yeah, yeah, he looks good.

All right.

Okay.

I'm sorry, Zach. It's just too bad that Che— it's, you know, he should apologize to Rico Bosco.

Yeah, Che could have cursed his team.

Yeah, he definitely cursed his team. The Bucs now, 12 games in a row where they have lost against the spread. That is insane. I, I don't know why I bet on them today, but I did. And that was very stupid of me.

I did it too. And then I did it again. And then I emotional fan bet again.

And just, you know, brutal, brutal. All right, PFT, you want to do the last ad before we get to the final 3 games?

Yes, absolutely. We're going to get back to the games in a second. Before we do, they're brought to you by our great friends over at SimpliSafe, where right now you can get 50% off a new SimpliSafe system at simplisafe.com/PMT, and you'll get 50% off that new system. Today's savvy burglars, they've done the math. They know that if they trigger your alarm, they still have time to grab what they want and go. SimpliSafe is different. When you have an intruder on your property, AI-powered cameras detect them and a live US-based agent takes action to deter them before a window ever breaks. Unlike traditional security systems that only alert you after a break-in is already underway, SimpliSafe is designed to help prevent the crime before it starts. AI powers— AI-powered cameras detect suspicious activity at the perimeter and they alert live US-based agents They call 911 for dispatch. They speak through the camera, they scare off intruders, and they get in touch with the authorities. And again, right now they've got a great deal in place where you can get 50% off your new SimpliSafe system. simplisafe.com/PMT. simplisafe.com/PMT. And when you order, please write in PMT in the How Did You Hear About Us survey to let them know that we sent you.

Don't forget, there's no safe like SimpliSafe.

Okay.

We have Raiders, the 3-0 Las Vegas Raiders, 34, and the New Orleans Saints. What was the— oh, sorry, I have the scores wrong. What was the score of that game? Oh, 35 to 27. The Raiders are 3-0. Clint Kubiak might be a genius, and Kirk Cousins now has 3 straight games where he's thrown 3 touchdown passes. And the Raiders are 3-0. It's crazy.

Yeah, there's not a lot that you can say. Like, the Raiders are just good. Kirk Cousins is playing as good as he has in years.

Yep.

And he's making good throws too. They're not all easy throws. He's not, he's not dinking and dunking all the way.

Brock Bowers being back was huge. Brock Bowers, he reminded everyone very quickly why he's one of the best, if not best tight ends. 10 for 116 and a touchdown. And it's like, Like, it's not just the, the fact that you watch a Raiders game when Brock Bowers on the field, you're like, you know, they're going to throw it to Brock Bowers and they still can't stop Brock Bowers.

Yeah.

You know, well, they were getting him in single coverage a lot.

Yeah.

And if you throw him a back shoulder, he's going to catch it every time. Really fun offense. They're like kind of a— it's weird seeing the Raiders run a creative offense. Yeah. I'm not used to it. And it's kind of shocking. Shuck, on the other hand, and the Saints, they got to figure out a way to score points in the first half.

They got to figure out a way to score points the first half. They also had just an all-time just meltdown in the 4th quarter today because they were up 27-16 in this game. And then in the 4th quarter alone, they had 3 fumbles and an interception.

It just—

they kept on getting the ball back and it kept on falling apart. And it was, it was actually shocking Because we're used to, to, to Shuck and the Saints being like— I guess we should have expected it after beating the Ravens, like there would be a little bit of a comedown. But you just kind of like, okay, now the, now the Saints are going to do it. Oh, now the Saints are going to do it. And they just couldn't do it. They could not do it.

Yeah, you got to, you got to make those— the field goals of the first half, make them into touchdowns. That would have gone a long way.

The Raiders have matched their wins from last year. already. So they won 3 games last year. They've won 3 games this year. This, this 5th round draft pick they got, Hesekiah Massis, is awesome. He has 3 picks and he's one of like the best defenders so far in the season. He's got 18.2 passer rating against. He leads the— he's tied for the lead in the league in interceptions. Yeah, the Raiders are just— they're kind of fun. I don't know. It's weird to It's weird to watch the Raiders and be like, I'm actually going to maybe enjoy watching this game.

They're very fun. And by the way, that was the— the Raiders had a couple of field goals in the first half. The Saints, they just missed an extra point. Yeah, they had 2 touchdowns, but they were— their drives were like, if they— they would either go length of the field or they would go 3 and out in very uninspired football. And it's like, there's— that's been their kind of MO for the entire season.

Yeah.

They need to figure out ways to To not make the halftime adjustments, but to come out in the first half and put points on the board.

Yeah.

Now, I don't want to— I don't want to pour any cold water on the Raiders, by the way. Whose line is it anyway? Let's look it up, Hank. Raiders-Chiefs. I think it's Chiefs at Raiders.

Do you—

your phone dead?

Yeah.

Your phone's dead. All right. I'll look it up. You guys, you guys guess.

You want me to look it up?

I got it.

No, because we can see it's Chiefs at Raiders.

Chiefs at Raiders. What are you guys guessing?

I got the Chiefs minus 4.5.

I got the Chiefs minus— I'm gonna say 6.

Minus 6.5.

Okay, Chiefs at Raiders.

Minus 5.

You're gonna say it's a pick 'em?

Yeah.

Minus 5.5. Ah, so close, so close. I was gonna say the, uh, the 3-0 teams in the NFL right now, the total yard margin among them, because this is kind of a way you can be like, all right, are they— are they beating teams like soundly, or are they finding a way to have weird plays happen? The Chiefs are, are leading it in +415 yards. The 49ers are +259 yards. So like, those are good teams. Bills are +121, good teams. Raiders are -15. Vikings are -244.

Hmm.

So it might come back to earth, but I'm not saying— I mean, I think the Raiders are Max Crosby too is just— he just wrecks games. The fact that he gets to play with the leads now and, and, and it feels like, it feels like he's rejuvenated when he can actually like have an impact on a game and then they win the game, not have an impact but still lose by 20 points.

Yeah. I'm looking at the standings right now. Obviously both the Chiefs and the Raiders, 3-game win streaks.

Yeah. So they have to be—

I think we have to go Road wins. Yeah, road wins count more.

Talk to the mic, Hank.

Get the mic a little closer.

Are you cold?

Yeah.

What?

Oh my God, no.

What are you doing with your sweatshirt?

He's chilling.

I'm like, I was hot. I took my sweatshirt off and then I was covering up my arms.

Are you self-conscious about your arms?

No, I guess, I guess, I guess I got cold, but I didn't feel like putting my sweatshirt all the way back on.

You look like a chick right now.

Yeah, that's fine.

OK. Chicks are cold.

Yeah.

This is— I do look like a chick right now. I got— I got no defense for that, but I'm just lazy and don't want to put my sweater back on.

You look cozy.

It is annoying to put the sweater back on with the headphones.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And the hat. I think you'd have to do more than one thing.

Right.

It's very comfortable right now.

3 things.

3 things.

3.

3 things that would take Over 5 seconds.

Let's count it.

No, I'm not doing it.

I'll time you.

I'm not doing it.

No, I want to time you. What if I get hot?

Then you take it off.

Take it back off. What time you taking it off? All right, wait, wait, hold on, hold on. Come on, hold on. All right, ready? Whoa, whoa, whoa, no, no, put it back on.

You're cheating.

Ready, set, go. Okay, he's doing it. He's taking off his hat now. He's taking off his headphones. And he's putting on—

oh, he's smoking the mic.

Oh, it's a good thing you didn't do this during the show.

Yeah.

Yeah.

OK. And he's really struggling to get that arm through.

His arm's stuck.

Come on, Henry.

Oh, no.

Put the hat back on.

Yeah.

OK. OK. Back on. Get that back on. And time, 22 seconds.

That's too many. That's too many seconds.

Let us know when you get hot.

It's hot. It's hot.

It's really hot in this booth.

So yeah, I do think we go by road victory.

I think it's got to be Raiders, then Chiefs, then Broncos, then Chargers.

What an exciting game, though. Chiefs and Raiders, 3-0 teams.

Great uniform matchup. I hope they're not doing this stupid rivalry uniform shit.

Oh, that would bum me out.

That would bum me out big time. Can we confirm that it's going to be normal?

They can't.

Can we just have normal old school uniforms? Give me, give me the black Raiders uniform. Give me the white Chiefs uniform. Give me the normal helmets.

Give them—

I don't think they're going to know this yet.

Give me all of that. Give me all of that. Saints got to figure it out. They— it does. I should have seen it coming after such a big win. I should have seen it coming when I said last week I read Chris Olave's, uh, quote saying it feels good to finally beat a good team. Yeah, that was a pretty good sign that maybe they're not fully ready. And their final 5 offensive drives: fumble, punt, interception, fumble, fumble.

Funny thing, they're in first place. They are, kind of.

Well, no, no, no, no, they're not. Falcons are.

Funny thing, they're only one game-winning streak away from being in first place.

Little, little did we know that Max hitting the button to rank teams based on win streaks would just completely kidnap this episode.

I mean, game of the century maybe next week, Saints versus Falcons.

No, you know what the game of the century is.

No, but I know you're— oh yeah, I know what I just said. I know, Saints versus Falcons. I, I know, for a commanding lead.

Yeah.

In that division.

Well, they're also doing the 20th anniversary in the Dome of Steve Gleason, which will be cool.

That'll be great.

That'll be very cool. But you know what the game of the century is?

It's a Thursday night game.

It's a Thursday night game. We all know we might have multiple game of the centuries.

As of now, the game of the century is Thursday night.

This might be the season of the century. I think the Browns are the only ones who are going to have some great games this weekend. Had so many great games.

What happens if you lose a game of the century?

Then you're banished.

Then it's over. The century's dead.

Yeah.

You got to go to the next one.

You got to restart your century.

I think it was 12 or 14 games were decided by one score or less.

This week?

Yeah.

Oh, love that. Love that. One score or less.

They had Sunday Night Football, like the postgame show on and the stuff.

Yeah, it makes sense.

Well, that could not be exactly the stat, but one of the closest games.

The Ravens 34, Cowboys 31. Too much time for Lamar Jackson. 7 seconds.

What terrible clock management by the Cowboys.

Oh my God.

Like just really stupid stuff. I put a curse on them last week. The curse is working extremely well. It was very happy with it. Really dumb shit. First of all, terrible call by the referees on that pass interference.

Yeah.

That they called against CeeDee Lamb at that towards the end of regulation. That was, that was some terrible refereeing. But then Dak Prescott just— I don't know what the logic was in terms of when it was 3rd down and they stopped the clock with 14 seconds left.

That's on Schottenheimer.

It's on Schottenheimer.

Yeah.

I don't, I don't understand what they're doing. And then, well, we can back up a little bit because the game's not all about what happened the last like 15 seconds.

It kind of is.

It kind of is, though.

It's actually what happened the last last 10 seconds. It's the first time ever the 2 teams kicked a field goal with 10 seconds left in the 4th quarter.

Yeah, it's never happened. The game has never ended that way, which tells you a lot about the team that lost mentality going into the end of that game. Derrick Henry kind of sucked on short yardage situations today, which we've talked about, which we've talked about. Shout out Billy. He's never wrong, just early. Caleb Downs is a fucking beast. I love watching him play. play football. I'm so bummed out that he's a Cowboy, but I, I love watching that dude play. And, um, yeah, he, he was getting— he was giving it right back to Derrick Henry. Um, you need to get him out. He's— he has to have a running start. He's got to have some momentum going, and then he's unstoppable. But if you hit him, if you get to him in the backfield, then he's actually not— he's not elusive enough, and he's so big that there's a lot to grab onto.

Yeah. So the, the game is— I, I like— it was a fun game. Rio, good job. Uh, the turf didn't really fuck things up. There's a couple slips, but overall held up. Uh, and we had points and we had offensive explosion. And the Cowboys are just an absolute— like, the Ravens defense struggled with the Cowboys. Cowboys defense struggled with the Ravens offense. But the Cowboys are so— they could have lost the game obviously in overtime, but to lose this game in regulation When you are at—

what was it?

It was 3rd and goal with 4— with a, with a clock running and a timeout in your pocket, and you, you stop the clock with 14 seconds left, run another play, don't take any time off the clock, kick a field goal, and then kick a touchback.

It's—

how do you lose that game? And we literally were in the cave And we said, let's go start recording. And by the time we got to the studio, they were kicking a field goal. The Ravens were kicking a field goal.

I had no idea.

That's insane how much they fucked that up.

The defense they came out with— and say what you want about like the clock management at the end when they had the ball on offense. And by the way, Dak probably could have thrown a touchdown pass to George Pickens in the end zone. I think that was Georgie that was open in the end zone where he just decided he was going to throw it out of bounds. clock it pretty much. And then the defense, they came out in for that last drive of the game that the Ravens had and just wide open middle of the field. I don't know what they were possibly thinking. That's— that is the one throw that you can't allow there.

The Cowboys made like 4 mistakes back to back to back that if they just don't make any of them, they could maybe play in overtime. But they made all 4. Yeah, they made all 4 mistakes and it was So mind-numbingly stupid to take their 3rd timeout with— you, you're on the 7-yard line. A play like— you have plays in your playbook that are basically like the no-sack, you know, one read, throw it out of bounds if he's not there, plays that burn 3 seconds. Get the fucking clock to, to 8 seconds and run a play and then kick your field goal. And then if you screw it up and you're like, whoops, we probably left too much time, don't kick the ball out of the end zone. Yeah, it's crazy. Absolutely crazy. I don't know how the Cowboys lost this game in regulation. They deserve to lose because it was so idiotic.

Yeah, it was great.

It was so idiotic. It was awesome. And I, I mean, the Cowboys offense is still like— I still believe in the Cowboys offense, but their defense, again, when they need stops, is not, you know, they, they get run on.

They get—

they just can't. It's kind of like the Giants game, you know, like when it was just like you can just play keep away from the Cowboys when you want to.

And that's going to be a long, long flight home for them to a game that you should have won.

Yeah.

Coming back from Brazil.

Well, a shorter, shorter flight than the flight to Baltimore.

No, no, no, no.

Baltimore is a shorter flight.

Yes.

To Brazil than Dallas.

Yes. Yes.

Yeah. How far is the flight? I think it's like 10 hours to Dallas, 9 and a half to Baltimore. Yeah, it's a tough one. Shouldn't have lost that game in regulation. No, I would much rather just lose that game in overtime and be like, well, we did everything we could.

I'd rather get my ass kicked.

I'd rather—

I would rather lose by 10.

7 seconds.

Than to have—

7 seconds and you go into field goal range.

Yeah.

And what a kick, by the way, doing the Ronaldo. Which I don't like. Plays in Brazil.

Oh, they had like 80,000 people going, so, so—

oh, they were all saying that.

Yeah.

Zach, do it.

So Ronaldo will never score from that far away.

He said— you saw that? He says come back to what? Maybe international play.

Okay.

Man City.

Some guys retired, you know.

All right.

He did the same Let me see.

He did that. Okay.

Of course. Of course the kicker would have that celebration ready to go.

Also, I feel like that celebration is like prime tear your ACL.

Yes.

By accident. You can see Romar Hughes doing that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You guys got to be happy the Cowboys lost.

Very extremely happy. I've done the curse. There is a— there's a curse on the Cowboys.

Max could be very happy.

Yeah, I was very happy that they lost that game.

What a game. And now next week, Cowboys-Texans.

I don't think the field was as bad as we were, we were led to believe that it would be.

No, I agree.

They brought out that weird stitching machine. Yes. So artificial fabric into the field.

There was like one time when CeeDee Lamb slipped. I was like, that was definitely the field.

Yeah.

But other than that, you guys want to do Whose Line Is It Anyway for Cowboys-Texans? We have so many good games next week that are at noon.

Were they playing primetime games?

Stank. Yeah.

The Panthers are playing in the prime— in Sunday Night Football. Yeah.

Well, yeah.

Yeah.

No, it's kind of weird. They're playing in Houston.

OK.

It is.

Whose line is it anyway?

I think it might be a pick.

Houston minus Houston, maybe minus 1.5.

OK. What's your guess?

I like 1.5. I'll say 2.

OK, Max, you got it. Minus 2.5. OK. Houston minus 2.5.

2.5.

What's going on with her? I like, I like Houston. No, I, I like Dallas. I was gonna say, I like Dallas.

How can— yeah, how can Houston score?

It's a must-win for Houston.

It is, but how are they gonna score? We gotta start doing all— we should, we should honestly do like a quick at the— we're not gonna do it tonight because we're going long, but next week let's just do a quick quick 5 minutes down the whole board, make like come to consensus picks, I guarantee you if we then faded ourselves, we would be awesome. Because your gut reaction on Sunday night is usually so wrong. Yeah, because you have everything that just happened. So whatever you think, you're just like, yeah, that, that's easy money.

I guess it's strength against strength where the Cowboys offense against the Texans defense. kind of neutralize each other, right? Maybe the, the defense neutralized the offense a little bit.

Yeah, like Jaguars are +2.5 against the Bengals in Cincinnati.

Yeah, that doesn't make a lot of sense either.

Easy Jaguars. That's what I'm saying though, Hank. Then we listen back and we say, yeah, take the Bengals. Our, our stupid self in the moment could help us. Just something to think about. Uh, Roback question, rhoback.com, promo code Take 20% off your first purchase. Skuzips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Rowback.com, promo code TAKE. I'll ask this to you, PFT. Are the Rams in trouble?

I think, I think they might be.

The Rams lost.

I think they might be just because that the division that they're in. Yeah, it's so good.

They lost 30 to 26 to the Broncos Sunday Night Football, which was a snoozer of a first half. Bo Nix looked bad, the Broncos offense looked bad, and then an awesome second half that had just big play after big play. You had a pick-six from Matthew Stafford, which you heard during, uh, Boomers. Then you had a big long touchdown for the Rams. Then you had the Broncos come back, some questionable calls maybe.

Yeah.

They score, they take the lead, and the Rams almost have a chance to win it on the 20-yard line at the end. It was like, it was crazy to watch. And, and very, very entertaining. There was 40 points in the second half alone. And I, I don't— I think the, I think the Broncos are just— I think they might be a team that when you watch them, just wait till they like seem to bottom out live, you know? Like they're just always, they always look helpless and then Bo Nix, something will happen and he'll just be like, okay, I'm going to start playing football now.

The Broncos are a team kind of like the Saints that they have to panic a little bit before they get good.

Yeah.

They don't—

they need that to motivate them to a certain point. It's not that I don't think that the Rams are good. I think the Rams are a very good football team, but I just think that if they're going to do big things this year, it's going to be very helpful to them to have some sort of home field advantage in the playoffs. And every game like this that they, that they lose, that they look back on and say, we should have won that game, that those are going to add up.

Yeah.

At some point. And, um, that's going to make it tough for them to to go super far.

Yes.

Because this is one you look back at and there were so many different ways that they could have put this one away. But like we talked about with Stafford, he's led the league in turnover luck, in interception luck for the last 2 seasons at like almost a historical pace where a lot of his passes that should have been picked off have not been picked off. And that pick 6 was just one time that it catches up to you.

Yep.

And I believe that put him past Brett Favre. first all-time in pick-sixes.

Where's Matt Schaub?

Uh, I think— I don't think Matt Schaub played long enough.

He just had those 3 games in a row.

He was like the Gale Sayers of, uh, Charles Davis pick-sixes. Yeah, yeah.

His peak was better than anyone else's.

Yeah, he burned— you know, the stars that burn brightest fade out the fastest.

I, I, I, uh, I'd like to look at the pick-six— pick-six all-time football QB. I'm so bad at Googling, but But AI is getting pretty good. They get it.

They get it.

Not with sports. They fuck up sports all the time.

Oh, no.

Yeah, this is really bad. Here's a consensus pick for 6 of the greatest all-time quarterbacks. Yeah. Most—

who's one?

Dan Marino.

What?

It's a dumb pick.

Yeah, it was.

It was.

Okay. Matthew Stafford, 33. Brett Favre, 32. Dan Marino, 29. Joe Namath, 28. Peyton Manning, 27, tied with Drew Brees with 27.

Kind of crazy that Joe Namath threw so many pick-sixes.

Yeah, they didn't even throw back, right? He had more— no, did he have more interceptions than touchdowns?

He might have.

I think it was that. That was—

is that stat correct?

Is that stat correct?

No, no.

Well, he had that one— he had that one incompletion to Rico's dad.

That's true. Matt Schaub finished his career with 14 regular season pick-sixes, but he also has the record for most consecutive games with the pick-six in 4 straight games. Really?

It felt like it was 9.

It really did. And it was like an event every time he did it. Yeah, it was like, holy shit, he'd done it again. The guy has done it again. Joe Namath, I'm looking it up right now because we're doing stupid deep dives. Unless anyone has anything else to say. I think the Broncos are good, like, are a very good team. If Bo Nix can play consistently throughout 4 quarters, it might be a little easier, but they beat a really good team.

But I also think that's kind of what makes Bo Nix special is like, I agree, he sucks ass sometimes. And then that it's almost like the more he sucks, he's like, don't worry, I'm just powering up.

Yeah.

Oh, I was— we weren't even close. The close one is that Joe Namath was Has one more loss than win.

Oh yeah.

He had 47 more interceptions than touchdowns.

Oh wow.

It's insane. He had 173 touchdowns and 220 interceptions.

That's kind of remarkable that he was allowed to play quarterback for that long.

Right.

How many interceptions that he threw.

It's crazy looking at these. Like, in 1972, he led the league in touchdown passes with 19.

Fuck yeah.

But he also had 21 interceptions.

That's when men played football.

That's nuts. Yeah, they run the fucking ball, just slinging it. His last season he started— or second last season, he started 8 games. He threw 4 touchdowns and 16 interceptions.

Nice.

Nice. Yeah.

So, I mean, things aren't so bad for Drake Maye right now, Hank.

Yeah, there you go. Joe Namath's a Hall of Famer.

Yeah, it could be a lot worse.

Yeah. I do think both these teams would be good, but you're right, the Rams, it's not that they're bad.

They're one of the best teams in the NFL.

They have a tough couple of games. They got to win. They have Eagles and Bills coming up and their division is just really tough. Because the Seahawks and the 49ers are going to win a lot of games. It's hard to win in this league, man. Yeah, it's hard to win in this league. All right. Before we do who's back of the week, Max, do you want to do predictions for tomorrow night?

Tonight?

Yeah, tonight. Slop.

Slop.

I agree. My prediction is slop.

I can agree with slop. I'm going to say I'm going to say Bears 20, Eagles 19. I don't know how we got there. I have to pick the Bears. And I also—

I—

Case Keenum is not going to be good.

I don't think—

No, I think he is.

Based on what?

Ben Johnson.

But okay, Ben Johnson. He's, he's only worked with good quarterbacks.

But also Ben Johnson wants to take shot plays. Case Keenum hasn't thrown a regular season pass since 2023.

They signed him for a reason.

Because he's like—

Reason.

He's like, he's probably one of the best third stringers.

He's also like, I think, neighbors with Caleb and like a big-time mentor to Caleb.

Yeah.

So perfect.

But no, but that's not— being a mentor to Caleb is not throwing a football in an NFL game.

Yeah, but he knows what Caleb thinks. He knows what Ben Johnson thinks. Like, I think, I think it's going to be Bears are going to shock the world tonight.

Okay.

Shock the world. I do think it'll be interesting to see what Ben Johnson's offense looks like when he limits what he's able to do. Like, obviously Caleb Williams is a physical freak at the quarterback position. What?

He's going to—

the way the Bears win this game is they run the football.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yes.

Which is not—

yes.

That's how the Bears win this game.

But they're going to have to pass.

It's also really hard. It's a lot harder to run the football when you don't have a threat of throwing the football.

Correct.

That's going to be the hard part.

He's going to have to make some throws.

Is Saquon playing?

Yes.

Okay. That's a problem.

Is he 100%?

Seems to be.

Who is?

DeVonta Smith also playing.

I am not.

Best shape of my life.

I am not 100%.

Also possibly Zach Ertz.

Bears are going to have to run the football a lot and maybe we're going to need to get the tight ends involved. They're going to have to have a big game.

I don't know.

It's going to be nice outside too. Yeah. Not really bear weather.

I don't know the path to victory, but listen, Case Keenum has done the miraculous before.

Case Keenum revenge game. Yeah.

Big time revenge. Big time revenge from like 9 years ago.

I got one key to the game, Big Cat.

Yeah.

You have to make Jalen Hurts play quarterback.

Nope, I'm not gonna say that.

You gotta make him be a quarterback.

No, you already said—

you already said—

you said—

I was just— I was on autopilot. I'm not gonna say that.

Yep, you already did.

Quarterback.

Too late.

I actually think we got to make Jalen Hurts be a running back.

That's how you beat him?

I don't want him to beat us. Yeah, he beats people with his arms. I mean, we got to make him beat us with his legs.

I do think that when people say we got to make him play quarterback, he like— he like doubled double thinks himself.

Yeah.

He's like, well, should I, should I listen to what they're saying? Should I, should I prove them wrong?

Yeah.

Our defense is so bad. Listen, I'm in, I'm in treadwater mode, strictly treadwater mode. Find a way to go .500 while Caleb Williams is out. If he's out for 3 to 4 weeks, which it's a grade 2, and I— Schefter's reporting, Schefter's reporting, and Pelissaro, we're all over the place. Everyone just has Everyone just needs to chill the fuck out and just let, let them report it instead of just trying to be first.

Everything you see with Ian Rapoport tweeted out what this part was kind of wild where he was like, this actually kind of explains why Caleb was in so much pain because of the, the muscle tears from a previous hamstring injury and the scar tissue. When that retears, it hurts way more. And then everybody was like, he, he hurt his other hamstring in college.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm tired. I just want him to get healthy and get back and tread water while he's out. That's it. Find a way to win like a couple games in the next few so that when he comes back, we could maybe be a .500 team. And then let's, let's pick up where we left off, not counting the Vikings game.

This would be a big one.

Let's just pretend we're picking up from week 1.

Your defense might—

I don't know, the offensive line of the Eagles don't—

they don't look good.

We don't have a pass rush.

Yeah, but that's— this is the best team to play for it.

Yeah, but we also don't have a secondary, really.

Okay, just make him be a quarterback.

We got a couple slow linebackers.

Yeah, here's what you gotta do. You have to limit the explosive plays from Saquon and then make Jalen Hurts be a quarterback. That's the key to beating the Eagles.

I'm not gonna agree to the second part.

Don't let— don't let Saquon Barkley be really good at playing running back.

Yeah.

All right, we're gonna stream it though, so tune in. We'll stream it. We're going to have Mook and Connor Griffin will be there, maybe Cade as well. And then Eddie, Chief, White Sox Dave, the boys. So we're going to stream the game. Excited to go. Excited for, for the opportunity to compete. That's really what it comes down to, right, boys?

We're blessed.

You get it. You get an opportunity to compete. You take that opportunity and you compete.

It's the best time of year.

It's what you got to do. All right. Who's Back of the Week? Who's Back of the Week? Brought to you by Twisted Tea. Football season is finally here. And we've never been more ready for game day. We're bringing Twisted Tea along for the ride all season long. Twisted Tea is a refreshing hard iced tea made with real brewed tea and 5% alcohol. The Twisted Tea Party Pack has a little something for everyone with original, half and half, raspberry, and peach. Whether you're tailgating at the stadium, crushing teas in your man cave, or grilling out with friends, Twisted Tea is there to turn your day up a notch and make a good time a great time. We love Twisted Tea. The half and half, the original, it is the absolute best. Grab a refreshing Twisted Tea Twisted Tea today. Keep it twisted with Twisted Tea.

Hank, my comeback of the week is USA.

Yeah, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA.

Presidents Cup this weekend in Chicago at Medina. We obviously had Scotty and Goddard up on last week.

You talking about good guys Scotty and beast Goddard up?

Captain America. They're calling, they're calling Goddard up Captain America.

Yeah, yeah.

He was, he's a triple, triple beers.

He was triple fisting. He was, he was getting after it.

A good guy, Scottie, too.

Great guy, Scottie.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He, his partner, which they— Scottie just got sent out like they put their worst player up against Scottie to basically just throw it to like not give up the point, give them a chance, give up a point. So Scottie already was going to win that. But the guy he was playing, someone yelled in his backswing. He like duffed the shot a little bit and then Scottie conceded. 35-foot putt to him to like make it, make it even.

Mm-hmm.

And was yelling at the guy in the crowd.

Nice.

Good guy, Scott.

I was there on Saturday and I was thinking to myself how it doesn't happen more often at golf events that people yell at in backswings just because of like the routing where you can be on the fairway of the 10th hole and then, and then you're not paying attention to what's going on behind you. Yeah, but what's going on behind you might be someone teeing off. So I wasn't super shocked to see that, but it is, it is kind of crazy it doesn't happen like more often where like, I don't think people are being like an asshole.

Hey, but I think that guy specifically felt like he was.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, how about the guy that, that drop kicked the ball onto the green?

That was awesome.

So I'm shocked that doesn't happen.

Wait, what was the ruling?

Out of bounds.

Ah, would have been cool if it played.

It should. They should have, should have played.

I think they should have let that stand because he didn't kick it.

He didn't kick it it as it like sat at rest. The ball never stopped moving.

Yeah.

The ball accidentally struck his foot as he was punting it.

Yeah.

So we got to— I think, I think honestly, as journalists, you guys got to get to the bottom of why America is terrible at, at team golf.

Like, we're not.

We won. Yeah, we won again. No, we actually never lose.

I never apologize for the singles part.

We won. We were down going into singles. We were horrible in the alternate shot format. We were horrible in the alternate format shot last time in the Presidents Cup, really bad in the Ryder Cup last year. Like, we win the singles every time. Yeah, terrible at alternate shot.

Terrible.

What if it's maybe not an American problem? It's just alternate shot kind of sucks. Yeah, like, as a format, it kind of sucks.

Agreed.

Yeah, but that's not our fault.

If you got to play it, you're— you're in your—

in your—

the people you're playing have to play it.

No, let's just get it. Let's stop playing Scramble. Yeah, scramble.

Scramble would rock in these events. Mm-hmm.

No, not why?

For viewing?

No, it wouldn't.

For viewing, it would literally just be birdies.

Birdies.

Like, oh no, it would just be putting. You'd be showing up to a putting contest.

Yeah, that would be the hard part. No, you're thinking about our scrambles. Our scrambles are fun, but their scrambles, they would never— it would just be a mini putt contest.

And like mini.

Yeah, I think it'd be fun.

Why?

Try it one time, see how low they can go.

But you— yeah, it would just be like, hey, okay, this guy's got a 8-footer. Oh, this guy's got a 4-footer to tie.

No, just like crazy approach shots though.

Just be—

yeah, yeah, yeah, be fun.

I disagree. I think alternate shots more fun, at least in that, like, from a viewer perspective.

It sucks for us.

Yeah, more—

you don't know what's gonna happen, and like there's, there's a bigger variance of like, you know, things switching. Uh, but yeah, Jackson Coivan, 22 years old, stepped up.

Beast.

Basically won, won the match for America. It was good. It was good. Uh, it was, it was good viewing, exciting to watch all weekend. Uh, America should have won like a lot easier, but But at the end, we took— we took it home. Yeah, it's coming home.

This kick was insane.

Insane.

It was a great—

that's the thing.

That's a—

that was a great kick.

Incredibly impressive kick.

It was a very good kick.

Like, that thing's coming in hot.

You got to let that stand because that's just impressive.

And he puts it like right next to the hole.

Yeah.

Why didn't we— why didn't Scottie play yesterday afternoon? That was weird.

Yeah, it was weird. OK, he got— he got a little snippy with the—

oh, really?

Yeah. Someone asked him.

He's the best player in the world.

Today's round, like, hey, you know what happened yesterday afternoon? He's like, oh, I just played today. You want to ask me about that?

Mm-hmm.

So a little, little, little—

it was weird because him and Burns like finally caught fire and they're like, yeah, we're going to bench you. But got her up was awesome. He won everything.

What a great comeback too. Like, we got our ass kicked. Was that Friday?

Yeah, Friday was—

Friday was just a bloodbath.

Credit to Team USA for making it interesting.

They did.

Yeah, they made it kind of fun.

Did you see maybe the handshake of the century?

No.

What a battle it was. I think it was— I think—

Oh, yeah.

Scott against Donald Trump.

Yeah, he got—

yeah.

Yeah.

You see that?

Oh, yeah.

Just like back and forth, back and forth.

It was good.

That's how men shake hands.

Yep.

Watch.

No one wanted to give it up.

No one wanted to give it up.

I got to tee off.

I really—

I would love to continue this conversation. But I literally got to go. I really got to—

I really got to go play some golf.

Yeah.

Please stop pulling on my arm.

That's like— that's like you're like, oh, yeah, let's play some time. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

All right. We'll see you.

Okay. He just doesn't understand that that's— that's what's going to happen.

Yeah.

When you shake the tee man's hand, he's going to— he's going to grab it.

Yeah.

He's going to pull it. They're going to pull some more. He's doing— he's going to do bop it with your hand.

Yeah.

Did you guys see the fully loaded F-16s flying over Chicago because Trump was there?

Those are badass.

They're like, like with missiles on each arm. You never, you never see that.

Yeah.

It sounded like we were going to war on US soil today.

Yeah.

Whipping around. Yeah.

We had the Vipers out, baby.

They got to give a heads up notification on the phones.

Yeah.

Pull out the F-16s.

Yeah. Look at that.

Yeah.

It felt like 4 AMRAAMs, 2 AIM-9X Sidewinders.

Damn.

Yeah.

You just, you just say shit.

Yeah, I do call it.

Mm-hmm.

All right.

PFT, your Who's Back of the Week?

My Who's Back of the Week is dingers and baseball, but more specifically, roundup of dingers only. The league has ended today and in first place, congratulations to Hank Lockwood.

Thank you.

Finished with 128 ding-dongs this year. Second place goes to Stephen Che. Yeah, 108 ding-dongs.

He beat me by one in the final week. I think I had a pretty sizable lead going into the final.

Che ended up up, he had 10 home runs this week. Big Cat, you had 5 home runs. According to Shea's spreadsheet, he's— he beat you by 2. Oh, according to his— I don't know if that's inaccurate or not. And then it's Memes. Memes, nice little last week there, 101 home runs.

Nice job, Memes. You fucking pieced.

And then Brandon Walker, 95. Myself, 91.

He's a bum.

He's a bum.

Brandon's a bum.

Jersey Jerry, 89. And second to last place, Max DeLente. And 9th place by a considerable margin, Zach. You finished with 76 home runs on the year, well short of Hank's 128 mark.

So Zach, you're going to be pitching to Stephen Chey, or Stephen Chey will be catching, you'll be pitching. And then because we, we haven't done last year's challenge where you finished second and Stephen Chey finished last. Stephen Che then will pitch and you will catch.

Yeah, I'm looking forward to it. Yeah, I feel stronger.

Which part more?

Uh, I don't feel good about catching or pitching, but probably catching more because I don't know if I can find the strike zone.

Opportunity to compete.

Those are always fantastic. We're blessed to have those.

We can get you throwing it over the plate. Yeah, you just might have to cover your face right after.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's gonna get— it might be a little dangerous.

But real baseball's back. Max, congratulations. Join the party.

Let's go, Max.

We're going to do it. Yeah, we were going to do it. Shout out the pods. Shout out the guys today. The guys today stepped up finally.

Any respect for Petko or still?

Yeah, that, that was out. That was out of hate. I was, I was in a bad spot.

You were going through it.

Yeah, I was going through it all weekend.

Yeah.

The So we'll, we'll be recording after the games on Tuesday and Thursday if necessary.

What?

Max is streaming.

Max is streaming. I'm going to stream Wednesday's game. Tate has a corn maze stream on Tuesday, so we're going to let people watch that. And I'm going to watch one game at home.

I'm going to be streaming from the PMT account.

What are you going to be watching on the iPad or you'll be watching on the TV?

All baseball games by me will be watched on that iPad.

And that's strictly because you won today watching on the iPad.

We hadn't won in a week. Yeah. Today we won on the iPad.

What?

I kind of liked it too.

It's like, how many of our teams— so the Phillies, the Red Sox, the Cubs are all in. How many of our teams are going to make it to the second round?

2.

1.

I think 2.

I think 1.

I think 2. I think the Red Sox.

2.

I think the Cubs.

The Cubs have—

I do not think the Red Sox. I think one of the Cubs or the Phillies will make it.

The Cubs have a very—

The Phils are hot.

The Phils are not hot, but they're 1-0.

The Cubs have a distinct challenge of, of we're playing the hottest team in baseball. And then if we beat them, we're going to play the best regular season team in baseball.

Also shout out to—

and then if we beat them, maybe the, the dynasty.

Huge shout out to Alex Bregman, dude, for coming back.

He might be Barry Bonds with, with just a broken face.

It's insane.

4 for 4, 2 home runs today. That is a big— if Bregman didn't get hit by that ball on Sunday, I do think the Cubs would maybe be hosting a playoff series, the wildcard series, because we just couldn't score runs against the Marlins. I'm excited. Playoff baseball. I'm a little bummed that the Cubs have to go on the road. 9:00 PM is a late start, but we got—

what?

Wait, is it go— you have the first game, right?

Prime time.

You guys are—

yeah.

Right before the Cubs.

You doing any streaming this week, Hank?

Good question.

I mean, I guess you would Tuesday if you would like to know when— or sorry, Wednesday if you'd like to. I'm sure the Cubs game will start while the Red Sox-Yankees is finishing. Yeah, you come in.

I'll be here.

Aaron Judge.

Aaron Judge is back.

Yeah, well, he said he wanted to. And then I just saw something today that's saying no, he might not.

Okay.

Also, we should mention the baseball this weekend. Justin Verlander retiring. Did they charge? Was that a mound visit when his daughter went out?

Yep.

It should have been.

It should have been.

It would have pissed me off if it wasn't. That was pretty sick, though.

The—

it was really cool.

Also sideways. I was hoping the umpire was going to throw her out.

Did you?

Did you see Laz Diaz, who was the ump? It was incredible.

He—

so for people who missed it, Yeah. Justin Verlander was hurt all year. He basically like should, should not have— like any other year he would have just not pitched because he was still hurt. And he was like, fuck it, I'm going to compress my entire rehab just so I can pitch one more game for the Tigers. Goes out on Sunday or Saturday. It was awesome. His daughter comes out to take him out of the game. And again, that's— I think that's illegal. I wonder if she's getting a salary for being a manager. But the best part about Justin Verlander pitching this last moment, and he deserved all this, he's, you know, been a big part of baseball for the last 20 years. Laz Diaz, the home plate ump, they ran out of ABS, I think, in like the 3rd or 4th inning. He just was letting it fly. It was awesome.

Yeah.

Because I think Laz Diaz is also retiring. There were strikeouts that he was just like, fuck it, I'm just— I'm punching this guy out. It was like an old school all the way around.

I love that. And the catcher for the Tigers, that's Dingler, right?

Yeah.

Shout out to him. He realized after about like 5 seconds that this was not an actual mound visit.

Yeah.

And so he was like about to like have a conversation.

Yeah.

And he's like, oh yeah, your daughter. I guess she— her being here means I'm not going to come out and talk to you about how many curveballs we're about to throw to this next guy. So I'll just step away.

Yeah.

Don't mind me.

And then, and then Max Scherzer did the same thing in Blue Jays in his own way. No touching moment where his daughter comes out or anything like that. He just got to yell at the manager one last time to not pull him out of a game, which was so perfect.

Yeah.

7— I think it was like the 7 and 2/3, and the Blue Jays manager comes out and he just screams at him to get back in. And that's exactly how he wanted to go.

That's what he would have wanted. Yeah.

Yeah.

The end of an era for a guy like that. Baseball doesn't have any more guys like that.

Yeah, dogs. Like guys who are, I'm going to, I'm going to pitch 8 innings and shut you down dogs.

And if you try to take me out in the 8th, I'm going to get, I'm going to threaten to burn your house down.

Yeah. I wonder, I feel like Scherzer might still pitch.

I feel like he might not retire. He was, he was, he was really good last year.

He gets paid so much though.

But I think he loves it to a level that like you can't, I don't know.

I don't know how a guy like that is able to just like transition to just being a stay-at-home husband.

He's just a psycho and he loves baseball and he loves competing. Opportunity to compete. He was trying to pull it up. Oh, here we go. So I know that he wasn't like incredible this year, but he— his last— so today he pitched 7 innings, 1 earned run, 7 Ks. That's like the— that's, that's— he basically did the 18th hole and hitting a birdie. It was like, I could keep, I could keep doing this.

What do you think about this rule? If you retire at the end of the year and your team doesn't make the playoffs, you should be eligible to sign to another team for a postseason roster. Yeah, I like it.

We have to retire, but you have to retire, never come back.

Yeah, that's, that's the end. Like, there's absolutely no takebacks. You're done after that season. But if you wanted to He could join the Cubs.

That would be really cool. Yeah, we could use him. OK, my Who's Back of the Week. I know we talked college football on Wednesday, but the Badgers are back. Huge win against Penn State. First time I've been happy on a Saturday in a very long time. It was awesome. The slowest 70-yard touchdown. Jacob Harris, shout out.

I was yelling at the TV like, surely they're going to tackle him.

They're going to get you.

I, I couldn't believe it. The defense was so fucking good. They just, they just shut Penn State down. Max, where is, uh, you're, you're not like— I, I think you're over the loss, but where are the Penn State people in your lives? Where are they at with Matt Campbell? Because that is his first Big Ten game, lost it up 17-nothing. Colton Joseph is like a total roller coaster. He's throwing a pick-six, he throws a pick, But the Badgers found a way. Are they like, we made a mistake with Matt Campbell?

It's way too early.

Okay.

It's— it's— What?

I was listening. I was listening.

You pointing?

No, I wasn't pointing. I would never point.

What was that?

I would never point at you.

Why? Why did you react so—

What?

It's too— I believe it is too early.

Okay.

That isn't— their best receiver wasn't playing in the game.

That's true. That would have changed a lot.

Matt Campbell was late to the game in recruiting. He was late to be hired at Penn State. It's obviously not a great start, but it's too— I don't think you're pressing the panic button yet.

What happens if you lose to Northwestern on Friday night?

That would be worse. Why are you being so weird about this?

I'm raising my hand. I was trying to get you to put the camera on Hank, who was just as I was not asleep.

I was going like this.

Oh, yeah.

But I have a question for you, though.

I was not asleep.

OK, I have a question for you. Would you be panicking more about Penn State if it wasn't Philly's playoff season?

That definitely—

and your brain wasn't also thinking about the Birds. I was— that game ended Monday Night Football, which you're focused on still because it hasn't happened yet. And you got, yeah, the Phillies.

I was definitely more invested in the Phillies game than I was, than I was Penn State game at that moment.

Yeah.

If that's what you're asking.

Yes.

Either way, I was just happy to finally get a big win. It was awesome. Happy for Luke Fickell. He's, you know, it's, it's been hell. It's been hell watching the Badgers play football for 5 years now. And that was the first Saturday where I was like, oh my God, I woke up on Sunday morning. I was like, like, did we really win that game? It's fucking— it was sweet. Sports can be fun sometimes. That's why— that's why you lift all them weights. All right, Zach, finish us off.

Who's back this week? This week's gonna be Steph Curry. Steph Curry decided to stay with the home team, boys. Oh yeah, 2 years, $116 million. There was some speculation he wasn't gonna do it, but now he's locked in.

Locked in. Never one jersey guy.

I guess also piggyback off that, another NBA quick one, Jalen Brunson, because he reminded everybody that New New York Knicks are champions by hosting SNL. Quick reminder.

Oh, that is a reminder. Also staying in the—

A lot of guys were like— guys were forgetting.

Yeah.

Staying in the NBA, did you guys see that Chet Holmgren is ready for Wembanyama this year and for everyone else? He gained weight in the offseason.

£2.

Yeah. He went from 213 to 215. Beast.

Huge.

Wait, wait.

He weighs £213?

You know?

No.

He weighed 213.

He weighs 215.

No, but he weighed— you're saying he weighed 213?

He used to weigh 213. He now weighs 215.

That's so incredibly light for him to have weighed £213. Thank God he's beefed up.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's pretty fucked up to think about how, like, I think— how tall is Chet? 7 feet?

6'7.

Yeah.

At least.

Is he taller than that?

Yeah.

215 is like, uh, I would still, I think, maybe be obese, but I would be like healthy looking.

It'd be like if I weighed £100.

He's 7'1. Yeah, that's crazy. 215.

He says 208.

At one point he was 208.

No, no, he's 215 now though, Max.

He fucked—

my boy's gotten big now. Do you like— do you think Chet was just sitting at home just being like, I don't want to drink another smoothie, I don't want to eat this ice cream, I feel so fat, I'm 215?

You think he just weighed himself at nighttime one time?

Yeah.

How do you not be after the day?

How?

I never understand when people are like, I need to put on weight. That's the easiest thing in the world.

It's not.

Yeah, it is.

It's not. Just eat It's not easy.

Okay, well, fuck you. Anyone who, like, struggles to put on weight, I'm just so jealous.

I'd be so good at putting on weight.

Yeah, dude.

If someone's like, hey, you, you got to put on £10. Okay, no problem.

Oh, man, it was awesome meals.

Yeah, give me a day and a half. I got this.

Yeah, I think he just weighed himself one day before pooping.

Yeah.

And he's like, I bulked up a little bit, you know, ready to To hang and bang in the low post now.

215.

He just got his shoes on.

Yeah, it's crazy.

He left my wallet in my jeans.

Oh man.

All right.

Good job, guys. Good show. Week 3 in the books.

Great, great week of football.

Yeah, great week of football.

Monday Night Football.

Tune in the stream.

Ready? Numbers.

1.

3.

15.

Problem is, Memes hasn't guessed 3 in so long that I can't even say. That is still your number, is it not?

Ah, who knows.

12.

Your number you've never gotten.

3 has popped up and I have gotten it.

Not on this machine.

86.

69. 13, chain block idler. 57 and Anyone? 57?

Nope.

57.

One more.

Going twice.

Yeah, sure.

No one's gonna get it.

No one's gonna get it. Especially not memes. I don't think Colton's gonna get it. Oh, Colton, did you do 69?

Oh, Colton, congrats on your toilet.

Colton, congrats.

Yeah, we're getting you a toilet. Pick one out.

You guys really don't have to.

I appreciate it so much.

Nothing but pleasure. I want you to just think of us every time you take a shit. Say less.

14.

14. What'd you pick?

15. 12.

What'd you pick, Jake? 13.

Damn, we were all over that one.

Damn.

Real shame.

Real shame. Happy birthday to Tyler Shuck.

Yeah.

Happy birthday to Tyler Lockett. Happy birthday to Steve Largent, Hillary Dobbs, And the Dice Man, Andrew Dice Clay.

Hey, Lil Miss Muffet, happy birthday!

Oh, forget about it, forget about it.

Hey, what are you—

I'm standing over here, I'm toothpicking here. Hey, I'm gonna— hey, I just used some slurs.

Look at Hank.

Happy birthday to Ryan Zimmerman. Happy birthday to Kevin Durant. Happy birthday, Calvin Johnson.

Happy birthday. Oh, they got standing right in front of the camera.

Oh, happy 39th Birthday to Jordan.

Oh, got a big—

oh, Big Cat.

Big Cat's doing, doing something with a— he's flipping a coin over there.

Happy birthday to Jaden McDaniels. Still just riding. Hey, happy birthday to Bo Scarborough. Big birthdays coming up this week.

Big.

Love you guys.

Bye, everybody. Have fun.

Did I miss anything, memes?

Hey, what are you I think we're good.