Transcript of Ryan Kalil, Tarik Skubal, Brookfield Zoologist Kimberly Skelton Breaks Down Another Zoo Trade, Mt Rushmore Of Things To Open + Football Is Back

Hey, pardon my take listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. What happens when you lock 18 coworkers in an office for 1 week to compete for a quarter million dollars of cash? This is Surviving Barstool Season 5 presented by Rumble Premium. Each episode released 3 hours early, so get it ad-free before anyone else. Only when you join Rumble Premium. Surviving Barstool premieres Sunday, August 9th at 5:00 PM on Rumble Premium and everywhere else.

At 8 PM.

On today's part of my take presented by DraftKings, we've got a packed show. We've got our good friend Ryan Khalil, who owns the Monterey Osos, which we are part owners for, with talking some football. Osos down, Osos down. He's got the— we're talking football, we're talking about the new documentary We Are Osos, uh, that's out now on YouTube. Really cool conversation about a league that is, uh, starting to grow in Mexico. We also have our good friend Tarik Skubal on, uh, to talk about him getting traded to the Dodgers this past week, everything that's gone down. Awesome time to catch up with him. We then have Kimberly Skelton. Who, huh? Well, she is the director of primate care and conservation at the Brookfield Zoo because they made a big trade with the Columbus Zoo, and we are the preeminent zoo trade podcast. I don't know anyone else is doing it like us.

We're number one.

We're gonna talk some football.

It's back.

We're going to do the Mount Rushmore of opening things— things to open— Mount Rushmore of things to open, and we will finish with Fyre Fest. And it's all brought to you by our friends at Mountain Dew. Summer's here, and I love cracking open a Mountain Dew Let me crack it open and having a burger in the backyard. Mm, I might have 3 tonight. That's what I'm feeling it. That's how much I love it. And I'm going to have a Mountain Dew with my burgers. Mountain Dew goes perfect with every summer activity, whether you're at the pool, you're at the beach, you're on a boat, you're at a ballgame, you're on the golf course, you're in the backyard grilling. Mountain Dew is there with you. Nothing goes better with hanging out. In, in the sun in the summer than the refreshing citrus kick of Mountain Dew. We're going to Barstool Camp in 2 weeks and we're so excited. Mountain Dew's a wonderful sponsor. We're going to be doing everything. We're going to be boating, we're going to be swimming, we're going to be playing volleyball, basketball, softball, everything. It all goes well with Mountain Dew. Enjoy the refreshing citrus kick of Mountain Dew and American Original.

Grab a Dew, tasting great since '48. Let me get one more sip. That's Mountain Dew, baby. Go grab a Dew today. Mountain Dew. Okay, let's go. Welcome to Part of My Take presented by DraftKings. The crown is yours. Today is Friday, August 7th, and football is back.

So back.

Football is back. Choose your own adventure. Kenny Pickett versus Carson Beck. By the way, did you see the stat? Uh, shout out our darling Jake. He, he was the one who retweeted it because he said he was thinking about it so much that if Carson Beck— so we're doing our choose your own adventure, so we don't know what happened in the Hall of Fame game. Because the Hall of Fame game is the number one. I'm going to watch it for 5 minutes, hear the music, see the, see the helmets, and then turn it off. Game of the year.

I want to see what, what certain rookies look like in the new uniform. Yeah, because you can tell it's like sometimes guys get to the league and you're like, that guy looks like an NFL player. And some guys are like, wait, I thought that guy was big.

We're talking eye test.

Eye test.

Eye test. But someone tweeted it that Carson Beck has the chance to, if the Cardinals get the ball first, to have be the first person ever to throw the last pass in a college football season and the first pass in an NFL season.

Yeah. I don't know if that's true or not, but it sounds good.

It sounds true.

It sounds like a great stat. I'm going to choose to believe it.

100% believe it.

So we need, I guess we need the Cardinals to receive the kickoff.

Correct.

And if not, then this whole stat is for nothing.

This last minute and a half was Totally debunking. If you're listening to this and the Panthers receive the kickoff, you're like, what the fuck are these guys talking about?

We get to get a couple of interviews with some legends of the game who will be enshrined in Canton later on this weekend.

Larry Fitz.

Larry Fitz. We'll wonder if he'll say the word retired. My bet is on that he won't. Nope.

Well, he might be mentally retired.

He's mentally retired. We're all a little mentally retired. But I think the Hall of Fame game is useful for a couple of things. One, it's just getting back in the rhythm, getting back in the swing of seeing football on your TV.

Yep.

It's also good. I'm gonna sprinkle just a little bit of money on it. And people— I'm sick of people being like, are you gonna bet on the Hall of Fame game? Yes, you're goddamn right I'm gonna bet on the Hall of Fame game.

You're a coward if you don't.

I'm gonna lose it, and I'm gonna lose the bet. I know that I'm going to. No, you got to get the losses out early. It's like throwing a pick in training camp.

Over 34 and a half.

You got to be reminded.

System play over 34 and a half. Already put it in. Uh, I, I— listen, you, you got it. It's preseason for all of us, so you have to, you have to partake in preseason. Otherwise, what are you gonna do when the, when the regular season starts?

Exactly.

I think I'm gonna— I think me Jersey Jerry are both on Carson Beck first pass touchdown. Oh wow, what is that, plus $10,000?

Okay, yeah, first pass touchdown.

And you know what, I've seen enough slander about the Cardinals. I think it's gone so far that I have no choice but to bet on the Cardinals season win total.

Yeah, oh definitely.

It's gotten, it's gotten too ugly out there.

No, it's, it's— I mean, they basically— you can't tank in the NFL, but they're as close to tanking as you could get.

Yeah, I mean, they've got— no one's gonna know what the offense is gonna look like. How about that?

No, I know exactly what the offense is gonna look like.

Nothing on film.

It's Jacoby Brissett, so the offense will, uh, have a good drive in the first quarter, one good drive, then it will stall for two quarters, then it will maybe finish with one other good drive as they lose by 20. I'm talking about regular season, not tonight.

Yeah, so you think the— you think that the, uh, what we've seen from Brissett is going to be identical to what The new offense, because they do have new, like, positional coaches.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, no, I understand. But yeah, I think we're going to, we're going to still see, we're going to, we're going to know exactly what the offense is going to look like. It's preset.

I just need 4. We just need 4 wins. Not that hard.

No, not that hard at all. Okay. So yeah, football's back. Does anyone want to do? I'm going to say Kenny Pickett's playing for the Panthers, right? Who's the backup? Did we go through this? Is Keaton Slovis to the Panthers?

Yes.

Someone else. I'm gonna say Panthers are going to win this game.

Haynes King.

Oh, Haynes King. I'm gonna say Panthers won the game 21-17, so I get my over and we had a little, little fun.

Does it come down to it?

It does not come down to it.

If you want to see— 21-10, and then the Cardinals scored a touchdown to get my over but not to make the game I love, I love the picture that they use on his ESPN profile for Haynes King. The photo that they have, it's him wearing a polo shirt. It's very— this is like the most preseason picture ever of a guy that they're using for the official profile. Yeah, you're right. Hall of Fame game. We want to see the logos. We want to see the colors. We want to see— there'll probably be like some point of emphasis.

You want to hear the music?

Here's, here's actually something you can probably take out of it. Watch what the refs call.

Yep.

Because the refs— this is the tip of the spear when it comes to the points of emphasis or whatever secret Roger Goodell has that he wants to unleash this season, how he wants to tweak the game, what direction he wants to see it going. Just keep an eye on the refs, see what, what they're calling more than usual, see what they're turning a blind eye to, because this is basically a little petri dish, a little testing environment for Roger Goodell and whatever rule changes he wants to force down our throats.

I would agree. Okay. Anyone else have a score prediction? I think Zach on the couch.

I think it's been an absolute air raid, 36-24 Cardinals.

Wow.

That's exciting.

Anyone else?

I'm going to go—

the total for the game is 34.5.

Yeah.

He said air raid.

I like that.

Absolute air raid.

So we're saying air assault.

Air assault.

I'm going to say this is going to be known as, as the night Canton went crazy. I think it's going to be in the 40s.

Wow.

A lot of pick-sixes though.

We're all—

maybe not a lot of—

we're setting this up for zero touchdowns.

I think my final prediction, 41 to 0. Oh, 41-0, a fucking blowout.

Who wins?

I don't know.

Okay.

The Cardinals. Okay. Maybe.

Max Beams?

15-6 Cardinals.

No, that's it. Max is right. Okay. Congrats, Max. You're right. Good job.

Dick, is that— was that— was that 7 field goals?

Yes.

No, actually 5 field goals, 1 missed extra point.

Okay, okay. Uh, memes, I'm gonna go 24-9. 24 also doesn't get the over.

No.

Yeah, but it actually loses in heartbreaking fashion. That's a jerk move. What the hell are you doing that for? I don't know. I think I'm going to be right.

Oh, okay.

Good. I'm going to— I'm still going to take the over.

Yeah, you have to.

Yeah.

Get yourself ready. Okay. Other news. PFT, congratulations. Stefon Diggs is a Washington Commander.

Thank you.

Thank you, Big Cat. How are we feeling?

I feel great about it. He is the self-proclaimed best number 2 receiver in the NFL. I agree with that assessment entirely. Like, the offense does feel a lot better with a solid number 2 to Terry. So that's great. I mean, we've got a rookie that we drafted at Clemson who should be pretty good. We've obviously got Luke McCaffrey and he's ready for a breakout year. I'm calling it. Oh, by the way, the, the training camp fight that happened with the Commanders on the day that I wore my Sanders jersey after getting my Luke McCaffrey jersey thrown up on by my dog was between Luke McCaffrey and Mike Sanders. Still, it was like I felt like the mom watching from the stands being like, I can't, I can't look. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Stefon Diggs, really good number 2 receiver. I think of his 80-some catches last year, 51 went for first downs, which is, which is awesome. You need a guy like that to move the chains. That's something we sorely lacked last year in our offense. Uh, so yeah, I think I— listen, as somebody that spent the better part of the last 6 months thinking about the possibility of getting Brandon Aiyuk, we got a receiver that's like definitely less crazy than Brandon Aiyuk, 100%, and definitely much better than Brandon Aiyuk.

So I, I'm grading this on a scale of is he or is he not Brandon Aiyuk? And he's decidedly not Brandon Aiyuk.

So I love it. It also would be perfect if we can somehow get Stefon Diggs proposing to Cardi B on a football field this year in his Commanders jersey.

I go full circle, right? I welcomed her back. If she wants to get back together with Stefon, I think we'd be very happy to have you back. I also invited Cardi B. I know that you're a listener of the show. If you want to go catch a game in D.C., if you want to go watch the Wizards, got courtside seats for you. Cardi B, you have free tickets for the rest of the season to any Wizards game that you want. If you come back, get back together with Stephon. Mm-hmm. Those are my, those are my terms. I hope you take full advantage. I mean, he had a great season last year.

Yeah.

So really what this boils down to is he chose Jaden Daniels over Drake Maye.

Well, It also gives you a common denominator if he doesn't have a good season.

True.

So we have a, we have a science test going on.

We have a science test.

Hey, will Hank ever realize the science test is going on? No, no, I don't think so.

Hank doesn't know.

I don't think he'll realize that.

Does Hank know that Stefon Diggs signed with the Commanders?

No, absolutely not. Absolutely not. Okay, other news. Jonathan Taylor got a new contract, 2 years, $39 million guaranteed. The running back's getting paid. Good for him. And Vitave is— it feels like it's getting worse.

It's not good at all whatsoever. My only hope is if he— if unfortunately, if he leaves your organization, hopefully goes to a contender.

Okay. So you're now— you're now in this point, you're rooting for Vitave to go to a contender.

No, I just— I try to save myself heartbreak later in the year.

But you're saying like you hope that he goes to a good home?

Yes.

Well, Vitave, free to a forever home.

If it's a—

for—

I don't know, not free to a forever home. It would have to go. You'd hate to see that happen.

But if it happens, you want him to be happy.

Yeah.

Okay.

So that's where I'm at.

That's the levels of grief.

I'm there.

Yeah.

It's good. Yeah.

He won't go to the Rams because the Rams seem like Aaron Donald is back.

Yeah.

Which is scary.

Or he just wanted to practice wearing a helmet.

Yeah.

Which is why he was listed on the team's practice report, which is like he used team-issued pads.

He's—

it's—

the Rams are going to be a problem. Yeah, big time problem.

The Rams also— tell me what you think about this, Big Cat. Part of my take has long been America's number one time zone podcast. The plan that they have to play that game in Australia against the 49ers is kind of crazy.

I love it.

It's kind of crazy.

I love it.

Max, I'm going to need you to lock in on the time zone.

I can't.

They are—

no, Max, I know.

Max, you are an expert. They're essentially So, Max, you find it out. Find it out. What's the time zone difference? But they are essentially— Sean McVay and the Rams staff is doing the thing where you have an early flight at the end of a bachelor party. You're like, fuck it, let's just not sleep. And then 3 or 4 o'clock comes around. You're like, this was a massive, massive mistake.

Yeah. So they are arriving in Australia the day before. The game against the 49ers, and the 49ers are flying in a week ahead of time to get acclimated to the time difference. The Rams are just saying like, let's power through it. They're doing let's power through it. If you've ever been on a trip where you're flying overseas and you just try to power through that first day, it's, it's very, very hard to do.

Well, I think what they're— when are they landing in Australia? Because I think they're just going to land in, in stay on their own clock, right?

Yeah.

What's the time difference, Max?

Stop that.

Come on.

You mean, Max, we need you to tell us what time is it in Melbourne?

What is right now?

Yeah.

What time is it in Melbourne? What do you think we're going to— Yeah. What's the time in Melbourne?

6:35 a.m. right now.

Okay.

Okay.

So it's 3:35 p.m. here.

And what time would the game kick off?

The game in Melbourne.

In Melbourne.

10:35 local.

10:35 AM local.

Yeah.

Which would be what time here?

7:35 PM here.

Okay.

So are they going—

so they're, they're going the day before.

Yep. Are they going to sleep all day? What time are they going? What time?

They sleep on the plane.

They're going to try to sleep on the plane.

But you're going to have to—

you're going to have to like artificially recreate day and night on the plane. Like Sean McVay is going to need to go up and down the aisles being like, close all the blinds.

So what time are they landing in Melbourne?

That's what you got to find that out. That's the big thing. What time do you think? All right.

This could work. When I heard this, it sounded to me like, like Sean McVay heard a podcast or somebody on the Rams staff heard a podcast about sleep science. Mm-hmm. And they figured the best way is to just ignore time zones.

Oh, no.

So they're landing. So they are going to sleep.

They're landing 24 hours before kickoff. So I'd imagine that—

oh no, that makes sense.

They get there, they go to sleep.

No, no, no, no, no. I think they sleep, get there, practice, sleep, game.

So they practice right off the plane.

No, I think they're not going to practice. I don't think they're going to practice. I think they're going to get there, sleep.

No, no, no.

Wake up at like midnight. Of, you know, midnight, which would be— yeah, that's, that's probably right. They're gonna wake up in the middle of the night in Australia because the game is at 10:35 in the morning, which is 7:35 at night.

Yeah, yeah, could do that.

So they might just get there, go right to stay on normal time.

Correct.

They're gonna get there, they're gonna land like that, they're gonna land at like 10:35 in, in the morning, and they're gonna go right to sleep and probably try to sleep 8 to 10 hours, but then they can't sleep on the plane.

That's an impossible task. Think about how many hours that flight is. Guys are knocking out and then they're not going to fall asleep when they land.

I wonder if McVay is going to take out the lay-flat beds in the plane. Yeah, and be like, you guys have to— lights on, walk— lights, lights on. You have to walk around. He'll just like try to get pots of coffee going, loud music.

So what time are they leaving? So how long is the flight?

It's got to be a long flight.

Flight from LA.

I'm gonna guess 18 hours. Very long flight. This is insane. I think what this all goes to show is that this is an insane thing that Roger Goodell is trying to make the teams do. Playing after a 16-hour flight in Australia is fucking insane, Roger. Yeah, this is crazy.

They do get the 9 hours back, though, because they're flying into the— we don't worry about it.

Doesn't matter.

Doesn't matter.

You know what? You know what it's going to do? It's going to fuck you up even more. Like, it's— you're going to be disoriented. Actually, the 49ers flying back, but is it— I might want to fade them too because they're going to be too acclimated to us.

But what they're, what they're doing basically is saying, because I do think it is like jet lag, you feel it the second day worse than the first day. That's what they're basically trying to avoid is like, we're never going to have a second day.

But it is— the game's almost on the second day, right?

They should actually just land in the morning. They should land 3 hours before kickoff, just get off the plane and go.

Yeah.

Who has it worse, them or the 49ers after being in Australia for 2 weeks coming back to America?

That's Rams. I think both, both are bad.

Yeah, I don't know.

Both are bad. It's not good.

Yeah, this, this game sucks. Why are we doing this? This is what— this is where Hank needs to be here to fucking answer for this.

Can I— I'll do it again. I'll do Hank impression. There's a lot of people in Australia that want to watch their favorite teams play. Like you want the salary cap to go— you like money, right, Big Cat? You want the players to get paid money, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Well, they have to make more money because they need to grow the game.

It's also going to be fucking weird watching a game that's in the middle of the day.

Oh, I— hold on.

Do you think the announcer's going to have the accent?

Max has got something.

Max has got something.

So if they're leaving at 2:30 PM in LA, that— and it's a 16-hour flight.

That's how long it is?

Yes.

Oh my God. You got to sleep.

They got to sleep on the plane. That means that they're going to have to, like, stay up until 6:30 a.m., like, their internal time. Yeah.

So I'm right. You should— what you actually should do is get on a flight with all beds and just land, like, 3 hours before the game. Yeah, that's what you should do.

I think what you should do is you should take off and you should have your medical team replaced by anesthesiologists. On takeoff, puts you in like a surgery-type coma, knocked-out state, reverse it after about 12 hours, stand up and do a walkthrough on the plane. You should do a walkthrough on the plane and get stretched out on the plane and then land, get off, football, back on the plane, knock you out again, wake up in LA.

Can I ask a dumb question? Can Could the Rams just forfeit?

You could.

Yeah, I think I would just forfeit.

I think they're leaving at the worst possible time.

I think I'd just forfeit this game. I think we're not playing.

Forfeit— forfeiting wouldn't be a terrible idea because your, your division rival, yes, they would get that game, but then you'd be like, you're going to come back and suck. Well, we're going to be fine.

And not only that, imagine the vibes in that locker room when you cancel those plans right before you're supposed to leave. Yeah, that's better than starting the season with a win.

Mm-hmm.

Oh man, the loser of that game is going to be— that's just so brutal.

What if you do— you fly 8 hours, 12-hour layover, get a full rest in a kind of similar time zone, and then fly the last leg of the 8 hours right before the game like it's a regular Hawaii.

Yeah.

You're saying like, okay, we'll stop and then quick 8-hour flight. Yeah. So like, what if they take off and Puka Nacua hijacks a plane. He's like, we're going to Guam.

I would trust him to fly a plane.

Yeah, let's just chill on the beach for a little bit.

Hang out, get a, get a full rest in a kind of similar time zone, one you don't really know, but you know a little bit about, and then you go.

Yeah. Surprise vacation for the boys.

Mm-hmm.

What do you say, Max? You got your brain stopped for a second.

I just am trying to figure out when's the best time that they should be leaving. I think that they're leaving. Never late. I think they're leaving too late. I think they have to leave. The internal body clock has to land around like 2 a.m., I think. I think it would make— which would mean that they should leave 4 hours earlier, which means that they should leave at around 10:30 a.m., get their internal— so that would be— they get there. I don't know.

I give up.

Never mind. I'm sorry.

I think that— yeah, I think McVay read something or heard something. He's like, we're just not going to try to adapt. And honestly, it's going to be a great little experiment. Because we get to see the 49ers getting there super early, what that does compared to the Rams that basically don't even like hang out in Australia at all before the game starts. So whoever wins this game is going to be because they plan the travel correctly. Whoever loses is a moron.

Could the starters stay if rugby's been big in Australia? Do you guys think the starters could stay here if they signed like a really elite rugby team to 1-day contracts? Do you think that team has a chance?

No.

No.

All right.

Wait, to do what?

Like, you leave your starters here, you sign one days, the backups. Yeah, they represent the team.

They had a guy, they, the 49ers had a punt returner that was like an elite rugby league player, and he lasted for like 2 seasons. It's like, no, I can't do it.

You think they could go full roster one day?

No, probably not.

Okay, fair.

Probably not.

But think about how acclimated they'd be with the time.

Extremely.

They, yeah, they, what's more powerful of, of a teammate the clock or somebody who's played football their whole life?

Probably the—

probably the guy that's played football their whole life would be better at football.

Yeah. He's so tired though. Clock is something to think about when you think about it.

The clock is undefeated.

Father Time.

Yeah.

One thing we can't beat.

Yeah. I'm wondering if you think Shanahan's going to make the flight.

I would assume so. It's still a month away, right?

It's a lot. That's anyone that's above the age of 60. Like you get on an 18-hour flight. Yeah, you have to get up every couple of hours, walk around a little bit, get the blood going.

Kyle Shanahan or Mike Shanahan?

Kyle.

He's not over 60.

No, I'm just saying, like, I'm thinking of like Forrester. He's probably up there. Like, yeah, I'm just looking forward to hearing Australian people say Brock Purdy.

Oh, I like Purdy.

I like that.

We have— I have another question for the show. Well, actually, it's for Max. Are we still doing Trust the Process?

'Cause LeBron has posted, he's finally at the Sixers facility and he posted an Instagram saying, "Trust the process." No, but he also said that he's been saying, "Trust the process," since he was on the Cavs the first time.

Oh, he invented it.

Yeah.

Okay, got it.

Okay.

All right, so that clears it up. But also, are we still doing "Trust the process"?

I have actually a better question for you guys. Remember how we went on this whole thing about Hank said he heard something about Tracy McGrady, that, you know, Jalen Brown, Joel Embiid hate each other. They're not friends. It's going to be a disaster between Jalen Brown, Joel Embiid.

I cannot remember that.

I beg you. Sounds like something he would say.

So we don't remember.

Okay.

I don't know.

You should have been like, uh, with you. Um, Joel has been good. You know, me and Joel have been friends throughout the years, had mutual respect. You know, I know he loves soccer. I love soccer. So we talk about that a lot and stuff like that.

Um, Soccer guy.

He reached out to— when I, um, got traded, he reached out the same day.

Oh, sorry, that means he reached out the same day.

So that sounds like they have a lot in common.

But did he reach out because he got traded, or did he reach out because the World Cup was going on?

They reached out talking hoops.

How do you know that? He just said soccer. They talked about soccer. Do you think he talked about soccer?

They're friends.

Soccer friends, not basketball friends.

They've been talking— they've been talking World Cup all summer. They've had so, so much in common.

Sounds like they're soccer friends.

Yeah, that was right in the heart of it too when they got traded. That was that, like that Monday before the knockout stage.

Yeah, they were probably just talking about soccer and not talking about him getting traded.

Well, it sounds— number one, it sounds like they have a lot in common.

Yeah.

And that they're really good friends.

Yeah.

Number two, mutual respect. You said that you had a better question than the question Big Cat asked you. You actually didn't ask a question at all.

No.

Would you guys like to apologize for going off of—

That was about Hank. You were mad at Hank.

Yeah. No, you guys were—

And I said, I do not recall.

But you do recall.

I do not.

You're lying.

No, I do not recall.

You're lying. Reach out same day. Also, Jaylen Brown said that the only thing that he cares about is winning. He doesn't care about awards anymore. He just cares about championships and he doesn't need to be the number one guy. Said that in the press conference.

Great dream team.

I'm just saying. Yeah, people, the things that people are worried about. And then he also said, have you talked to, have you talked to Jason Tatum since the trade? And he just said no.

Oh, wow.

Okay. Dream team.

If you can say anything. No, I'm going to lose £10 before football season. Yeah, I just said in.

Cool. You probably will. You've been eating healthy.

I have been eating healthy.

Good question, Max.

Yeah, good question.

Good question.

Good question.

Yeah.

Well, you guys want to talk— talk Sixers? I was talking Sixers.

Well, are we trusting the process? Yeah, of course. Is the process ever going to end?

Yeah. Is— are they bearing down? What does that— what does that even mean? Sometimes teams just have things that they say.

But the process was like an actual tanking.

Yeah.

What's—

what's— what? Yeah. What does bear down even mean? But hail to the Commanders. Trust the process.

Yeah.

What is— you're just—

you're just—

sometimes teams just say that's your team slogan.

Oh my God.

You're just reminding me. Slogan is don't get mad because we suck because one day it might be better.

Oh my God.

Just trust the process. People say that all the time.

PFT and Zach, we got— I got to tell you a story real quick. Why are you—

why are you—

what?

No, no, it's not about you.

Okay.

Last night, we— Pugs played, won, go to the bar for drinks after. We're at the bar, we're sitting outside, and the table next to us gets up and they're walking away. And one of the guys on our team is a Bills fan. He was wearing a Bills shirt or Bills hat. And Someone, someone like another Bills fan walks by and is like, like, Bills Mafia, let's go. Shane just shouts out, bolt up. And we're like, dude, what? And he's like, I was like, did you, do you just say that when someone else says their thing? He's like, yeah, gotta fucking defend the turf.

You clap back.

He wasn't even, he was not even talking to Shane.

No, no, I like that.

It was two Bills fans saying like, go Bills or whatever, or whatever they say. And then Shane just chimes in, "Bolt up!" Shut it down.

Yeah.

Not in this house. Like, what are you doing right now? He's like, "Yeah, just gotta let them know." Yeah.

If somebody walks by and throws up a sign, like they flash their sign, you got to throw yours right back at them.

It was so funny.

That guy's going to be walking around thinking this is Bills territory.

He just yells "Bolt up" at anyone, any fans trying to acknowledge another fan.

Yeah, this is— we're just stating it's like Justin Herbert.

It's like an icebreaker. You're just like sitting around and just everyone saying their name. Justin Herbert, by the way, that was a debate last night. I mean, I like, you know, a scalp massage, getting your head rubbed, but that was a lot of like hair petting.

Face touching. There was face touching.

Do you think Jim Harbaugh liked that?

So I actually thought about this. Yes, I do. I think that, I think that Harbaugh, if you talk to him about love, he's, he's probably a guy that's like, I love when people are in love. It's good to have a woman that's got your back, that makes you happy. You got to— you got to analyze her bone structure. And when she's laying in bed, like, touch her shoulder, see the firmness. That's how you can tell if it's going to be quarterback or linebacker. Like, I think that Harbaugh will get really deep into it. I think he's a little bit of a softie on the inside.

Oh, I— but I think Harbaugh's like, yeah, love, marriage, those are important because you have to procreate. Yeah, but none of the stuff you said.

That's literally what I said.

No, but not like actual— like it's just like no touching, just it's procreation.

But literally what I said was, yeah, figuring out if this person and you, it's going to be a football player or not as a child.

Yeah. Yeah. But that's a lot of touching on the field. I don't know, man.

I'm— listen, I can't knock anything he's doing right now. The guy is having the best time ever.

Yeah, he is. But is he focused on football?

No.

Yeah, that's, that's a big problem here. He's focused on beer.

That's why I have a quarterback that doesn't— sorry.

I can see a world where this could be—

if it goes bad, it's going to be, it's going to be bad.

But I mean, listen, you know what, I'm happy for you.

Congrats.

Happy.

Congrats to Justin Herbert.

Happy for them.

Happy for Probably living a top one life.

Yeah.

No, he's having the best time ever. OK, other things I would like to just briefly for a second just state that Pete Crow-Armstrong should be MVP. The game on Wednesday was incredible. I know the Cubs are losing right now to the Blue Jays, but to have Shohei versus Pete Crow-Armstrong both go 3 for 5, both have 2 home runs. PCA, though, has been so fucking good. And now that Shohei is not pitching, PCA should be the MVP. I, I think most people are coming around to it. I think he just became the odds-on favorite, but he has been— right now he's on pace for the third best WAR in a season since 2005. He is, uh, he, he has surpassed Chris Bryant's MVP season WAR full season already from 2016, and PCA is batting .350 with 47 runs scored, 15 doubles, 5 triples, 20 home runs, 45 RBIs, 16 stolen bases in 57 games since May 30th. And he also has 11 defensive runs saved in that time. He's the best player in the National League right now. Like, he just is. Max, you agree?

Uh, yeah. Has nothing to do with us having a bet.

Yeah, I should have— I should have stated my bias first, that I'm not only a massive PCA fan, Cubs fan, but also I bet on him to win MVP. But he also is the best. He's— he is. He is right now. I know Shohei could still—

Shohei doesn't play the field, right?

Like, yeah, it's— so Schwarber had a great year last year as a DH.

If he's not pitching and he's just a DH and PCA is like the best defender in baseball right now, it has to go to PCA.

I really kind of want—

it's funny that PCA did DH last night.

Well, yeah, I mean, he took one day.

Yeah, I know. It's funny though. That's like— that is the rallying cry of like the differential, which is real. Like, yes, he does play defense. And then when he goes head-to-head against Shohei, it's like, okay, they're both the ages.

Well, no, I mean, he played defense the first two nights of the series and he's insane defensively. Insane. I do kind of wish Craig Counsell, like, I don't know when this would occur, but it would be very funny if Craig Counsell could find a way to get him to pitch like two batters just so as in like hope that no runs get scored so his ERA could be better than Shohei.

Days.

That would be fun. Just go stat for stat. But yeah, PCA should be MVP. That's my— I'm off my soapbox, but I really do. He's— I mean, I, I likened it to 2015 Jake Arrieta. When Jake Arrieta used to— was, was like his peak, every time you tune in, you're like, this could be a no-hitter tonight. That, that was just his last 3 months of 2015.

You're—

it's like every single time, it's— you're gonna— you think you might be watching history because he was that good. PCA every single night. He's an everyday player. You're like, I'm tuning in and he's going to do something remarkable. And he's going to, you know, whether it be offensively on the base pass, defensively, he just— you can't take your eyes off him.

I do think that's a sweep like we just had for the Cubs is something that like, yeah, they had the right perspective where it was like, this is awesome. It's going to be better if we do it in October.

Yes.

But the belief now, they know that they can. Beat the Dodgers.

Yeah.

Like before, but it's probably like theoretical where it's like, we have a good team. I like our guys. The Dodgers are also a very good team. It's going to be a battle. But now it's like, that will be a core belief that they have if they face each other in the postseason, that yes, they can beat them.

The counterpoint to that would be the Brewers. I think, I think they might have gone 7-0 against the Dodgers last year in the regular season.

Oh no, I'm not saying that it is a guarantee. I'm saying that their belief.

Yeah.

Like deep down, the fact that you swept them, you're— if you're in that clubhouse, you know that you can beat them.

And the Brewers never lose. I become Frank Fleming every time I talk about the Brewers. Brewers never lose. What are you going to say, Max? He looks at me quizzically.

Also, Ohtani— let someone else win it.

Yeah, let's—

there's fatigue. Yeah, there's voter fatigue happens.

I— yeah, I'm fatigued. I'm fatigued.

I am so fatigued of Shohei Ohtani. I couldn't be more fatigued. It's too much. It's fatiguing me right now. Just even thinking about them, just fatigue all over the place.

You want to move on to something that we're not fatigued about?

Yeah. Live. Yeah. Now we got to save it for Monday.

Yeah, we'll save it. But it lives back.

At least we got our daily quota in that. Live.

You know, live is back, Max. Okay, Max, I'll stop talking about it.

I don't know because I don't pay attention to anything. I want to say it's back. I have no idea what you're talking about. I don't acknowledge that it's back. I don't look for Liv. If it comes across my timeline, I keep scrolling. It means nothing to me.

If Liv bit you on the ass, you wouldn't know it.

I don't care. I only know about it because you guys won't stop talking about it. And right now I'm talking about it. Let's go to the next thing.

You could have just made this already fast forward if you just say Liv is back.

The Wizards are not going to talk to Anthony Davis until the beginning of the season.

I'm sick of you bringing the Wizards up.

Okay, last thing before we get to our Mount Rushmore. Then we have 3 great guests: Tarek Skubal, Ryan Cleel, and, uh, the Brookfield Zoo. I'm gonna give benefit of the doubt that the athletic director for Purdue— there's more to this quote, because if there isn't, that was one of the dumbest quotes of all time. Would we all agree? From what I've read, his quote was, we are here to win championships If you don't want to win championships, go to Indiana. What? What is this guy doing?

I don't get it.

Um, let's, let's hear him say it because maybe there's something we're missing.

Every recruit and every current student athlete will hear this message repeatedly: we are here to win championships. If you don't want to win championships, go to Indiana. Nope, that He said it. I don't— I don't understand what he's going for.

There's no context that defends that. What the fuck?

What? What does it mean?

He's got to be talking about basketball. But even that—

no, no, they don't.

I never won a title in basketball. Yeah.

If you don't want to win championships, go to the school that just won a championship.

Plural.

Oh, he wants to win. OK, so the Indiana Flash in the Pan, he's saying Indiana has—

Indiana has actually won their last championship.

They peaked.

They peaked.

It's over.

But Indiana football or Purdue football will never win championship.

Well, you can't.

Yeah, you're right, because they're going to win championships.

You also can't say that.

Yes, you can.

No, if you said that about Indiana 3 years ago, you'd be saying basically the same thing.

I'm well, I'm willing to stick my neck out.

Okay. But I'm just saying that was what Indiana was. Probably worse. Purdue had Kyle Orton. Purdue had Drew Brees.

Purdue had Neil Armstrong. They put a man on the— Purdue put a man on the moon. Do you think they can win a championship in college football? But yeah, I guess that is the quote from Neil Armstrong. One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind. Probably the coldest quote in the history of quotes. And like a hater, this is maybe the worst quote in the history of quotes.

A hater of Purdue would be like, isn't it weird that their most famous alums are all trying to leave the Earth? But I wouldn't say that, right?

Yeah, but it would be a good point if you said it right.

Like, what's up with that? Like, they're trying to get as far away from Purdue as possible.

Maybe there will be more chicks on the moon.

Yeah, but these were not haters. No, we wouldn't say this. Yeah, I don't know what that— I mean, I guess good job in getting— otherwise the, the new AD for Purdue's press conference would not have made any news. So maybe that was what the plan was. No news is bad, or bad news is good. What's to say?

All news is good news.

All news is good.

It's all— what, all publicity is good publicity? Yeah, yeah, we're talking about him right now.

There you go.

It's like the, the substation getting all the retweets from the 49ers account. It's good.

Yeah, tip my cap, you tricked us, Tommy McClellan.

I don't know, I'm a J-Bat guy myself.

Yeah, J-Bat, we almost got him on Kentucky Sports Radio. Yeah, we were close.

There was also some more college football news yesterday. Akron is changing the game.

Oh, that was to be my Fire Fest.

But yeah.

Okay. All right.

Yeah.

No, we'll save it. We'll save it. Good tease.

Yeah. Good tease for Fire Fest. Okay. Let's do Mount Rushmore. Then we got our 3 interviews and we'll talk about Akron with the Fire Fest. Okay. Time for Mount Rushmore. It is brought to you by Reese's. There's something for everyone when it comes to Reese's. Reese's is the GOAT candy. We— I mean, it's like When I, when I bring home— we have a Reese's Lounge here. I bring home Reese's to my kids. It's like the best day ever. And we're going to do the Mount Rushmore of things to open. I'll say it right now. No one's going to pick this. We'll pick it as a group. Things to open. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Would you guys agree? Great. It's the greatest thing to open. That's like, especially the 4-pack. But they got everything. The new Oreo, the new marshmallow. The new, uh, uh, peanut butter and jelly one, the, the animal crackers with Reese's. Everything Reese's does is the absolute best. It's the 1-1 pick in all Mount Rushmores. It is the New York Knicks of candy. They're the champions of candy. That is what Reese's— we love Reese's so, so much. The peanut butter cups, they are the best, absolute best.

Reese's, the official candy partner of Barstool Sports. Go get Reese's wherever you shop. Okay boys, it's time for Mount Rushmore. It's going to be the Mount Rushmore of things to open, a kind of a fun one, a fun open-ended one. Did Shane send us the updated scores? I don't know if he did. I'll have to do the math.

Uh, he did. Hank and Zach, their team is tied with my team, 30-30.

30-30. We have 42. Uh, Hank is out. Zach is solo dolo. Did you text Hank? Did you consult with Hank?

We are consulting.

Okay.

Was he helpful?

Oh, certainly. Every draft.

How quickly did he get back to you?

I'm texting him right now.

Did he send you picks?

That sounds like he hasn't gotten back to you.

Oh no, he did. On this couch, like right now. Like we're—

oh, he just finally got back.

We're on the shared notes app and HL is popping up left and right now.

HL is going— how many picks has he given you?

I want, I want number.

Several picks.

So, so 2.

No, several. 3.

That's just for a number. Yes, for a number.

Yeah, but that's insider info. This is a competition.

I think so. It's plural. That's why I think it's 2. I think I'm locked in on 2.

It is. Has he given you any that are like, you have to pick this?

Yeah, some great picks.

No. So that's— no, he hasn't given you any that's like, hey, this is a— this is a pick you have to make.

Oh, like demands?

Yeah.

No, we're more of like an open You got—

you're running a workshop. Yeah, you're on point.

We're 50/50 partnership in this two-man team.

Today it's not 50/50.

No, it's you today.

It's like 80, 85, 15. Yeah.

Yep.

So a lot of responsibility on you.

Just hopefully I can show for the team. I'm looking forward to it. Yeah.

Yeah.

It's a big game. You know, we're tied 30-30, so like this could flip a lot of things.

Yeah. All right. So things to open, Mount Rushmore, things to open. Who has first pick? We have third pick.

That'd be Zach.

Zach. Okay. Zach has first pick, then PFT, then love Zach's first pick.

Yeah, Zach, come on.

You got this.

You don't hold board in front of you.

Don't fuck this up.

Full board.

You guys have had anything you want.

Anything, anything and everything.

And it's your choice.

It's almost too much stuff. It's almost overwhelming.

The doors to a courtroom.

It's not that overwhelming.

If you think it's really a lot of picks, a little bit.

I'm sweating. We're gonna—

but if you lose the PFT in this, in this Mount Rushmore, you are in last.

Yeah, then we just have to beat them next week.

Yeah, yeah, but they're in last right now.

Yeah, but then you'll be in sole possession of—

eventually there won't be a next week.

Correct.

That's true.

Okay.

That's got to be—

that's got to be the whole board in front of you. Go ahead.

All right.

We're going to just take— we're probably going to take the fridge.

Oh, oh, okay. Yeah. Fridge on the board.

Add it.

Yep.

Add it as one of our top picks.

Okay. Yeah. One of my top picks. My one, one is still on the board. I'm assuming yours is too. Yeah.

Yeah.

Ice cold beer.

Oh, good one.

Cold beer. Crackin' a cold one.

Good one.

Okay.

Well, what do we do now?

Whoa. The one, one that we thought was—

it didn't get taken.

Didn't get taken. And what we were going to take is the complete opposite end of the spectrum of that one.

I think we go 1 in 12.

Yes, sir. Yeah.

Yes, sir.

Okay. So what we thought was going to be taken by now is Christmas presents, open up Christmas presents. And then what we didn't think was going to be taken, but we love and listen all, all it's got to be consensual. But opening up nudes.

OK, very fun.

Correct. Everyone agree?

Yeah.

You guys don't like opening up?

You don't like it? You don't like it?

Sure.

What do you not like?

It's a good pick.

OK, memes.

Memes brought that one up before we even—

it's a really horny—

before we even got horny.

Nude.

It's a really horny pick.

We're horny guys now. When you did it both, you got nude. It's like Christmas. Something you like as a child, something you like as a kid, as an adult.

Pretty horny. It's just one second round is horny. No, it's just one.

That's one.

We have the wraparound.

No, you're just upset because you know how good of a pick.

No, I know.

I wish you had that.

I have my own horny pick on this list and it's not nudes. Okay.

It's just a true— legs.

Yeah, I'm taking legs.

Okay, go.

I'm taking legs in the center. Her legs.

Okay.

Is my pick.

Okay.

Her legs in the second round.

Great.

Consensual. Great.

You didn't say consensual.

Consensually.

Okay.

Legs.

Because you got to say consensual.

Everyone's consensual and everyone's happy.

Okay.

Zach, back to you for 2 picks.

We're going to take— we got 2 picks here. We're going to take the windows.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. The windows. Are we talking car window?

Nothing like opening the windows.

Yeah.

Just open up the windows. Unreal.

When the weather is right, it is that breeze going.

Yeah, nothing like it. And then our third pick, we're going to take—

you are going to take.

Yeah, stop saying we're— you, you are, you are taking.

You're in charge.

Just use one of Hank's ones this time. Which one was Hank's?

All right, we're going to take—

you're going to take—

I'm going to take on this team's behalf I gotta pivot.

Oh no, no, no, don't pivot.

Trust your gut.

Yeah, we'll go with, uh, we'll go with, uh, what about 9?

What does 2 look like?

We're gonna go with a, uh, oh no, trust your gut.

How about us?

You're gonna go with—

I know, what are we gonna go?

You guys gotta give me like 4 more seconds.

Don't take that one, take the other one.

All right, while you decide, Zach, let me just speak. Your first pick, nailed it. Refrigerator was the very first thing that came to my mind. There's nothing better than opening up the refrigerator and just staring. Sometimes it actually sucks because you're like, I don't have the things I want. But it's also nice to just look at it. You just kind of look and it was a good pick. I, I also like a quintessential guy thing is I can never find anything. It'll be right in front of my face.

Oh, you were opening it 10 times.

Yeah.

We're going to go with— we just got to go here. We got to go. I know.

I'm sorry.

Yeah.

All right.

Yeah.

We're just going to go with the sauna.

Open the door.

Yeah.

All right. It is.

Listen, I have to get out. Not to get in.

I think both.

That's a great question.

I think right when you want to heat up, you open it up to get in.

Yeah.

And when you want to get out, think of that feeling when you get out. Think that feeling when you get in. Nothing like opening up the sauna.

Yeah, it kind of goes both ways. It's a dual threat door. It's like it's a great feeling to get in and it's also a great feeling when you leave. I think we got to do solo teams next. Oh yeah, this is a great pass. That was Zach. I like it.

That was tough.

I like it. Sometimes you just go with it.

Yeah.

PFT's only saying that because he's the one in battle with you.

Yeah, Sean is going to look great. I'm going to go my next pick. I'm going to do a tube of tennis balls.

Oh yeah, good sound.

Yeah, we had it.

We had it.

I say your next pick.

Very satisfying.

You want to— memes has been—

wait, memes, hold on before you go.

No.

What?

Talk about— you want number 7?

I think— no, I know, I know what I want. No, but 18 means I think we go, we go 9 and 16.

Yes, I like that too.

Well, you like that?

I like 9. Yes, yes, yes.

All right. But you want to pick 16?

Yeah, let's do 9, 9 first and then—

all right.

So our next pick is baseball opening day. They open the season.

It's the opening season. Opening day.

Baseball opening day is the best. And then it feels like an event. Memes.

Memes.

This is a great pick.

Memes.

Opening a can of whoop-ass.

Yes.

Opening a can of whoop-ass. Got to. Nothing better than opening a can of whoop-ass on someone. That's just fun to say. It is. And it also is fun to do if you have— if you're like a Jonah Hill type. Did you guys see, by the way, the video?

I did see it.

Or a Waterboy type.

Yeah, that's—

yeah, yeah.

Open a can of whoop-ass.

Open a can.

Is it— is it—

is this category things to open or is it openings?

Things to open.

I thought it was things to open too. I don't know if opening day.

Do you want— do you want—

are you opening the day?

Do you want to open this season?

I guess.

OK, we can open the season of baseball if you guys—

we have other picks.

It's fine. Yeah, it's fine. I want to discuss for the future of my picks that I have.

Well, we're happy to do another pick.

It's fine. It's fine. I'm looking at the list that I have, so just, you know, clarify my own list.

No, we can, we can do something different.

That's fine.

I don't know. It's true. It's— we have a name opening in it, but it's not Zach. You voted out opening. Yes or something.

I don't, I don't know.

I think opening it, I think it's fine. Yeah, I'm cool.

I was clarifying.

Definitely.

So we're good.

Okay.

We're fine with either way.

Yeah, we're fine with whatever you guys— I was clarifying for the future.

This is the most kumbaya possible.

Very. Without wonder why.

Yeah. What's the— what's the common— I guess he's a numerator because he's—

yeah.

Okay.

I just got one left. Yeah, correct. I'm gonna go with a new tab in your web— in your browser.

Okay.

New browser tab.

What?

It's a great thing. The possibilities are endless.

It's a pick.

New tab. You can go anywhere online. The information superhighway.

It is the start of the journey.

What about incognito tab?

Yeah, incognito tab is actually what I wrote, but I already had legs earlier.

You didn't want to be too horny?

Yeah, I didn't want to be too horny.

You didn't want to go double horny?

I think opening a new browser tab is a very solid fourth round pick.

Yeah, I think it's going to be a real good battle. Sauna versus new tab.

I think, I think internet browser tab. Solid pick. We all do it. Talking down on multiple times a day.

Yep.

I think it's— we probably do more opening of the internet browser tab than any other thing that we open up.

Super frequent task.

Mount Rushmore. Just—

we didn't have it. Yeah, but bang.

Yeah, another Mount Rushmore.

Okay, Zach, we're going to— there's some obvious ones still left on the board.

We're going to select the DraftKings app.

Okay, we—

yeah, we had that.

We had that. We actually had specifically— we had a version of that. We Specifically, the version was opening up the DraftKings app after a big win because like seeing, seeing the cash in there is the best.

After the Bobo bet, I opened it. I opened up that tab, that app 50,000 times.

Sometimes it's good to look at, you know, it's shocking.

One that didn't get picked. So honorable mentions time. Shocking one that didn't get picked. I know none of us are like big in this, but trading cards feels like that was a miss.

Zach. Yes.

Trading cards.

I purposely— I thought about it, didn't pick it. I'm not into it. So it would have been a pander pick.

Yeah.

Similar to cards. Cards with cash.

Cards with cash. That was a good one. When you feel— when you get a card and you know there's some— some— you can feel it to it.

Good mail.

Heft.

Yeah.

My right side.

I'm kind.

Yeah.

When you get a piece of good mail that you are excited to open up.

Yeah.

Pretty exciting.

All right. Other things that were left off. Pine of ice cream.

Fantastic pick.

Yeah. Uber Eats order. Yeah, it's always fun.

Bag of chips.

Bag of chips was on our list. We had opening the windows, but specifically opening the windows on a fall or spring day to get that air coming, airflow. Memes. Good pick. Opening the face of your 60-degree. Nice flop shot.

Yeah, it's good. Yeah, you want to do that.

I'm surprised, PFT, you didn't, you didn't do this one. Opening the roof.

I had the roof.

Yeah.

Stadium.

Or my— or my rooftop.

Or my rooftop.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Garage door. It's a fun one to open. Just the sound and just— you're like, hey, I'm out in the world now.

Open the roof on a convertible.

Yeah, that's a good one.

Unless you're JFK.

Yeah.

Box of sneakers.

I had new shoebox.

Great pick.

A CD. That kind of dates us a little bit, but there was nothing like opening a CD. Yeah, it was a great feeling. They knew how to wrap it just right where you would It was a fun experience.

Yeah. Zach, how are you feeling right now?

Opening up the Netflix app when you're, when you're like sitting down on the couch and you're like, I'm about to watch something.

Zach, what do you think about these picks compared to your picks?

We got all those picks on the list. They just didn't make it to the board. That's top 4 picks were fridge, trading cards.

Yeah.

Uber Eats app.

Yep.

Tennis balls.

I said doors to the pyramids.

I think that would be good. So many options.

Hank.

Yeah.

Hank.

Hey, hey, hey, um, for Mount Rushmore of things to open, would you have— so you sent some to Zach, right?

Yeah, I thought I sent him some pretty good ones.

Yeah, was one of the ones you sent to him the sauna? No, that was your third round pick. What? Your third round pick? Yeah. What about fourth? Fourth was, uh, DraftKings Sportsbook.

Yeah.

Good pick. He recovered. That's a good one.

That's a good one.

Yeah. So what were the ones you sent to Zach?

Uh, a door to an air-conditioned house.

Pickle jar. That's a great— the door to the air is the complete opposite of a sauna.

Yeah.

And feels so much better.

Wait, wait, keep going.

Disagree.

A new box of golf balls.

Mm-hmm.

A bank vault.

Oh, uh, a Taco Bell store. That one was for my dad. Birthday card cooler. Oh, cooler's a good pick.

Cooler is an awesome pick.

Oh, but you got sauna, so you should be happy about that. Saunas are great.

Like, saunas are fantastic.

Uh, opening a door, uh, to sauna.

Yeah, it does have that cool wooden handle on it. Yeah, that's always nice.

But in the third round, it feels—

yeah, look, it definitely could be too masculine. I get that completely.

Understand.

Saunas are not masculine.

Disagree.

You have a sauna, Big Cat? Yeah, I know. No, it's definitely not masculine.

No, I disagree.

Women love the sauna.

I don't think that—

I don't discredit women at all.

I think it's not masculine or non-masculine.

I think it's perfect. Yeah.

Uh, yeah, no, I, I open it. I, I— it's not on my Mount Rushmore of things to open, but they could be on yours. Yeah, he's got a sauna too.

You guys are, you guys are sauna—

I know, I said I have a sauna. I enjoy it.

Oh, you guys went out of your way to install in-home? Yeah, that's And that sounds like a door you guys love to open. No.

Well, think about it. We have— we both have saunas. It wasn't on our list.

But you— I mean, to install it in the place where you, you go home safe to lay your head at night.

Yeah.

No, I'm saying I agree. Like, I don't view it as a fire hazard.

Yeah. All right, Hank, we'll talk to you later.

Yeah.

Never a good text to get from Zach.

He just texted me, I sold. He was panicking. Trading cards didn't get picked. Zach loves trading cards.

Yeah, we had our list.

He was opening some this morning.

I thought of things to open because we were ripping trading card packs.

Wait, did you hear that, Hank? He thought of this. Zach thought of this Mount Rushmore. He's the one who came up with things to open because he was opening trading cards, and then he didn't pick it. He picked sauna instead. Uh, sorry, Zach. We'll bounce back Sunday.

Yeah, that's on me, Hank. I shouldn't have done that to you.

You might—

this would be a fight.

No, opening a fight.

What I would say, PFT's, uh, not controversial pick, but that maybe was— didn't land like right away.

You guys, you guys do too much marketing for your own Mount Rushmore.

No, I haven't said a word about ours.

The team—

I haven't said a word about the team.

The team of three does so much campaign.

The Dodgers hate small markets. They hate him.

You guys got, you guys got 3 boys shouting.

Ask Hank, ask Hank what he thinks.

Dodgers are on a 6-game losing streak. You know what, I think Zach's song to pick was great. I think it's a real— I think it's a great song.

Ask Hank, tell him your pick.

So Hank, I— Hank, I took, uh, an ice-cold can of beer.

Great.

I took, uh, her legs.

You hate our sponsors.

Hank, shut the fuck up for me for a second. I took— yeah, her legs. I took— what? Can of tennis balls. Can of tennis balls.

Great, great pick.

That's a great pick.

And then I took a new browser tab on an internet window.

That's a terrible pick. Of course he's going to say that.

I mean, he's a small market player.

Guess what? Guess what? Who's Mount Rushmore? Is it yours? All right, well, we'll talk to you later. My Mount Rushmore. My Mount Rushmore, not your Mount Rushmore.

We haven't talked about our—

you can put whatever you want on your Mount Rushmore.

Absolutely.

I like my Mount Rushmore.

I see Big Cat yells at me when I say the picks are good because I'm like, not anymore.

I haven't for a while.

I know you were.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

These kind of leads, leads lead to lockouts. Building these kind of teams.

Well, I mean, we have to discuss this. We can't— you do hate this.

What are we doing?

Otherwise we're just doing like—

got to discuss it. But you got— you guys like to put your finger on the scale a little You bit.

got—

when you pick bad picks, I, I, I'm going to say my opinion.

I give my opinion.

You're like to do interference too close to like—

you're forgetting the times where we say you have a really good pick. Ice Cold Beer and, and Tennis Balls, good pick.

I've got great picks.

You hate our sponsor, but I've got great picks all across the board.

I waxed poetically about the refrigerator. You didn't. I talked about your pick and how good it was. It was my first thought.

You guys took Nudes. You guys took Nudes in the second round.

It's a great pick.

Fourth round.

All right, call Hank back. Let's see if he thinks that opening nudes—

hey, let's do an experiment. Yeah, Big Cat, tell Hank, tell Hank that I actually didn't get legs. Tell Hank that I got nudes.

Okay, well, you just told him that you got legs.

I know, but say that I was—

nudes are cool until you start having sex and it's just kind of like, oh, let's see what he says.

That's not true.

He's like, I'm done with these guys.

I don't have to talk to him for the rest of the day.

He just put his phone on do not disturb immediately after that.

Yeah, he's, he's out.

Yeah, I'm on vacation.

I'm on vacation.

Hey, hey, what's up?

One more time, it's Hank.

Leave one.

Maybe if you call back twice, it goes through the do not disturb.

Is that true?

Yeah. Oh yeah, it's like an emergency.

I didn't know that thing.

Yeah.

I mean, it's—

he hates us.

He's on the tee box right now.

No, no, no golf.

There's no golf where he is.

He's beaching mentally. He's mentally on the tee box right now.

Yeah, he's beaching.

Yeah, he could have brought some, like, training balls for the beach, though.

Yeah, probably sitting a couple into the ocean. Yeah. Doing some sand work. All right. He didn't pick back up. That was quick that he was like, I'm done. We talked to him 4 seconds ago.

He's away from his phone.

It may still be in hand.

Yeah, he's looking at my phone call right now and just being like, no, I already talked to them. Fuck this.

It was a sideswipe and continue to scroll.

Yeah.

Okay. Well, I listen, I think there was good Mount Rushmore, good discussion. Do we forget anything? I'm looking at our list real quick. If we forgot any other honorable mentions, I'm sure there's some obvious shit we forgot.

Case.

No, Google always gives us obvious.

Yeah.

How did you not pick this?

Would you take that?

Queso.

Queso.

I just like hearing the—

yeah, the—

yeah, Queso is good. Good pick.

This one might not be a good pick, but it is something that like in the moment it's kind of fun opening up a new credit card.

Yeah.

Because you're like, now I got—

could be a good idea. Yeah.

And sometimes you get like a free like fleece blanket or something.

What about a treasure chest? Treasure chest on the—

I don't hate that.

It'd be fun.

It's good.

You're definitely doing an adventure at that point. Or Ark of the Covenant. Maybe. Maybe the worst thing to open, right?

Yeah.

Maybe it's like a kid, like email to a snow day or like hurricane day.

That's a real— that's a good one.

Yeah.

The Queen's Gambit.

Yeah.

It's opening.

Mm-hmm. It's an opening move. Oh, opening the part of my book when you get it August 18th.

Opening a book. Yeah.

Yeah.

Opening a book.

Opening readers.

Opening a book might have been a mistake.

Yeah.

Opening a book.

Opening a book.

The thing that changed society, unless it's part of my book.

It's part of my book is a book that you want to open.

Yeah. You never want to close it, actually.

You guys saw they're killing all the books.

What?

They're scanning all the books and then cutting them up. You guys see that?

What are you talking about?

AI companies are buying books, scanning them, and then destroying them.

That's good. Good, good.

Not good.

Good. No, that sounds good.

Good.

That's a good thing.

Uh, I don't know, I brought that up.

Sorry, memes. Oh, Hank's calling me back.

Okay, Hank.

Hank, what's up? PFT misspoke. He, he, he didn't take her legs, he took opening nudes. Oh, okay, that backfired.

Even weirder.

Oh, even weirder. Not a bad pick.

Thank you.

No, I think legs is a better pick.

Oh, thank you.

All right, there you go.

There we go.

All right.

Yeah. So that solidifies a good pick. That's true. All right. Bye.

Yeah, that's true.

He is the worst at Mount Rushmore. All right.

Well, yeah, when Hank clowns it, that's good. When Hank says it's a good pick, that's actually good for you too. You guys can't— you guys can't lose. I feel good about my team. I feel good about my team. Same. Memes, how many nudes are you getting?

I get—

I get nudes.

You want to see them?

Memes is getting— is the nudes king?

Memes gets it.

It's an honor to get nudes.

That's why when you open it, you don't have to—

you have to explain nudes to me. I understand the concept.

Well, you clearly don't get them, so I have to explain it.

I don't— I didn't know that you were such a nude getter.

Hey, yeah, he is.

Nudes are better than sex.

Memes also said opening your pants after a big meal.

Nudes are better than sex is a crazy take.

Yeah, that's— you're talking too much now, Memes.

Now I'm too fat to have sex.

So that's why I like nudes.

Blowjobs only. Yeah, blowjobs only. Okay, let's get to our interviews. We're going to start with Ryan Cleel, and then we will have Terik Scoubal. And we also talked to the Brookfield Zoo, the head of primates at the Brookfield Zoo, to get some info on the big trade that happened between Brookfield and Columbus. Before we do all of that, DraftKings this summer, whatever you're watching— baseball, golf, soccer, racing— DraftKings has you covered for every single moment of it. The DraftKings Sports app is now available in all 50 states, bringing the game straight to your fingertips wherever you are. From Florida to Texas to California, you're in on the excitement at the speed of sports. Follow every buzzer beater, every walk-off, every photo finish. Sweat the moments that matter in real time with a seamless experience built for the biggest season of the year. No matter where you're watching, you're always connected and in the game with one app. New DraftKings customers sign up with code TAKE, spend $5 to get $150 in rewards within 14 days, including all markets. That's code TAKE. In partnership with DraftKings, the crown is yours. Bet with DK Sportsbook. Gambling problem?

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Predictions offer void in New York. Bet to get bonus bets that expire in 7 days. Trade to get predictions dollars that expire in 1 year. $50 in rewards issued every 7 days via click to claim for 14 days. 1 non-withdrawable reward redeemable. Terms at dkng.co/offer. Limited time offer. Okay, here he is, Ryan Khalil. Okay, we now welcome on a very, very special guest. It is Ryan Khalil, Pro Bowler, All-Pro, but more importantly, owner of the Monterrey Osos, our Mexican football team. And we— they just released a new documentary on YouTube. You can go watch it. We Are Osos. I just finished watching the first two episodes. Ryan, great to have you on. But let's just— let's just start by talking about the Osos in general. Are we going to win it all this year?

Well, I don't want to spoil anything, but no, we got a lot of work. Okay.

Okay.

I got to be honest.

Okay. Okay.

The NFL guys coming in would have the secret formula, and that has yet to be the case. So we might have to brainstorm this offseason on what we could do better.

Okay.

Yeah.

I mean, we did follow along.

We need some more football dudes in the, in the room.

Yeah, we did follow along last year and, uh, it came down to the wire. It sounds like— I don't know what we should spoil and what we shouldn't, uh, based on the documentary that's going along with the season. But, um, it's a great story and it's a really interesting thing that you and Blake and the rest of the guys have been up to with us. I guess we're just kind of like the— we will be the propaganda for the Osos. Oh yeah, no mistake about that. Like, if you need us to say anything PR-wise, we will just repeat that shit. But, um, with the ownership group that you put in place, like What was the start? Who was the first person to say like, hey, we should buy a team together?

Well, it—

I mean, actually it started with wanting to do the documentary. We, uh, I, I had to go speak at this thing for the NFL, and I was talking to the international guy, and he was telling me about the NFL's plans for expanding around the world and just how important Mexico was to the NFL. And I just didn't realize how many— I mean, I knew there were fans down there, but I didn't realize how many there were. And it's something like 30 million plus us NFL fans. Um, and they've had a love affair for American football since the '20s. I mean, they have college football down there, they play club, high school. And so it was just bananas. And I was like, well, there has to be a league. Why don't they have a league? And they, they ended up having a league, and they've been in— this is year 10, I think. And I was like, well, what kind of guys play down there? And the football's good. I mean, these are like D1 dudes, D2 guys, guys who are in between camps, guys who were on a roster in the NFL and, and, um, just trying to stay in it.

But then there's also a ton of homegrown guys who just love the game, who have no ambitions of playing or dreams of playing the NFL, and just hanging on and wanting to play a little bit longer. And so they make no money. And I don't know, like, Blake and I just sort of fell in love with these guys in a world where athletes now are making unrelatable amounts of money, and now college kids are— there was just something romantic about these guys who were down there literally playing for the love of the game. And I was like, fuck, I want to get behind that. I want to share these stories. And so then when we got down there, we just started getting a kind of weird itch. We were like, we could own one of these teams. We could run one of these teams. We're football guys. We're sports guys. We have all this collective experience. And it's like you guys too. We're fans first. So we're the organizations we played for, or just even now watching other teams and how they're run. You know, when I remember being players in a locker room with all the guys and we'd bitch all the time, like, man, if we ran this team, here's how we would do it.

So we were like, hey, let's, let's see if we can, uh, put our money where our mouth is. And, um, and that's yet to— that's yet to work out. So I'll take any and all advice from you guys, uh, Yeah, it's an awesome story.

Um, it's different than— because I think we were, we were talking, uh, last episode about Hard Knocks and how Hard Knocks like has kind of lost its luster because all we see now is every team has their own Hard Knocks. Well, this is what kind of what Hard Knocks used to be, where it's stuff we don't see. We— I— no one— I had no idea there was a Mexican football league. I had no idea that there was guys like our quarterback is in the first episode, he's selling insurance during the day, full day. And he's like, he says like, oh yeah, thankfully practices is at night. It's like, what the hell? How is it like you have a, you have a baby and like a— but he's chasing this dream. And a lot of these guys are, they, you know, maybe got to a training camp, maybe played in the CFL, but they're chasing this dream and they're not giving up on this dream. And it's such a cool thing to watch where you're right. It's like the opposite of what we watch now. With like some of, some of the documentaries out where it's like just these super rich athletes that are completely like not relatable to us.

Now we're just watching regular guys chase a dream, and you're chasing a dream too, it feels like, too, to, to be part of something bigger.

Yeah, I mean, that and just like, I miss being a locker room. I miss being around the guys. I miss being around the game. So I think selfishly, this was also an excuse for me to be a part of it. And, and weirdly sort of pay it forward. I mean, as you can imagine, playing 13 years blocking, uh, 380-pound one-shades doesn't really translate into any businesses outside of, outside of the NFL. So this is like the one thing I can actually do and pay forward. And but yeah, you're right, it also, it's a nice, uh, it's a nice bit of humble pie. It makes me feel shitty and guilty for all the times I bitched and complained about you know, yeah, I bitched and complained about because these guys were literally working jobs all day. Practice doesn't start till 9 PM. They're changing in parking lots and they have— I mean, it's like, it is funny enough, pun intended, it's like the Bad News Bears, like the kind of equipment that they had when we came in.

Yeah.

And so like little things like that we've been trying to help and change. And, and it's funny just how money will help with that. But yeah, they're not getting home till like midnight, and, and it's not like they're playing pickleball or pickup basketball. Like, this is a pretty demanding, grueling sport. And so we don't have the same kind of access to doctors the way that we did in the league or even in college. So yeah, it's a lot. And it's also being an owner now, you know, there's nobody else for me to point fingers to or, or, uh, or find answers for. Like, I have to do it. So, you know, I also took for granted all the facets that go into running not only a football team but a whole organization.

I, I also like— I got to give you credit because we're, we're football guys guys here, uh, we love football and, and football guys love us. But I think this—

I know why I brought you guys in, not just for the propaganda. I hope you guys know that.

Yes, absolutely. But you are, uh, you had the most football guy moment in the beginning of the documentary where you basically admitted you're like, I always thought I more than an athlete, and it— like, there's bigger things in football. And then I realized, nah, it's, it's football. Like, that's it, it's football. It's like almost like a weird— was that a struggle for you? You're like, no, wait, I do love this game. This game is my life. It's okay if it defines me and I am part of it for the rest of my life.

Yeah, I don't— there's a weird thing that happened. There's a certain moment where— and you guys have seen it too, we I mean, it's in all sports, but there was this moment where athletes were like, no, we're transcending. We're more than that. Don't define us as just athletes. But I just, over time, I was like, no, this is— it's one of the greatest accomplishments to be able to play at the highest level, and not everybody can do that. And that means something. And so, especially football. Football is just so hard. So, yeah, that was a funny moment because they sort of put me on the spot. And I was like pacing around trying to think of what I wanted to tell these guys who are not making a lot of money, who are not really trying to aspire to play in the NFL. And I just kind of had that like wedding crashers moment where I was like, all right, just speak from the heart. And so it just sort of, you know, for me, I think, I think it was kind of a cool full circle moment for me to realize that and to be a part of that.

But, but yeah, it's been fun. It's been fun to be around those guys.

Yeah.

How hands-on are you getting in terms of like game plan installation, practice? Practices? Like, have you had to pull yourself back?

I wasn't at first. It's like, you know, like, I follow you guys and you guys talk a lot about philosophy and, and you guys interview a lot of guys and, and, uh, sometimes you guys are very critical of the teams you love. I think, uh, at first I was like, I'm gonna stand back and just sort of see how this works. And then season 2, I was like, hey, I have all these guys at your disposal, let us know. But now I think moving forward, I am going to be that guy. I don't think I'm going to quite go Jerry Jones, but I do feel like I'm going to start getting more involved, especially on the game planning side.

I love that. Yeah. And we're down to get more involved too, by the way. I will get you like, get ready to learn. You think Shark Wheel is a play that has hit Mexico yet? Because I'm ready to run it.

Hey, I would love that. Listen, I want to be like you guys. I want to— I don't want to point fingers at anybody. I'm going to take I take full accountability for all the mistakes I make. I don't really have—

I have—

I mean, you guys do own other teams in other leagues, I think.

Yes.

Yeah, we think so too.

Yeah, we was sometimes— we actually have a— we, we won a championship in another league. We lost the rings, but we won the championship.

We're not about the ring culture. It's about the journey along the way. It's about the process. We're process guys. And some guys put up the banner, they wear the ring everywhere. Not me and Big Cat. We're just like You know, what do you think about the next one?

Yeah, I will say this is year 2. We've been in the championship game twice. Uh, the last game was in Chihuahua. I gotta say, even though, uh, uh, it didn't quite work out the way we wanted, it was one of the most fun experiences I've ever had. I mean, that place, it was in Chihuahua, we were playing the team from Chihuahua. Uh, it just happened to line up like that. We think, I don't know, there might be some tampering going on or, or some scripting in, in our league too. But, uh, but that place was super hostile, and it was so fun getting yelled at and screamed at by thousands and thousands of Mexican fans. So I gotta say, we get to the big show again, the Tazón México, as they call it. Um, you guys got to come because it is pretty fun. But I don't, I don't have a lot of, uh, ownership experience. I mean, the only owner I was ever around was Jerry Richardson at the Panthers.

Jeans Friday. Jeans Friday. You should do Jeans Friday.

Yeah, perfect. But well, like our head coach is literally a cowboy. So I think he does it every day. He also wears a cowboy hat.

Yeah.

But he's a, he's a crazy ranchero and I love that guy. He was like the Luke Eakley of college football Mexico. He has like all these stats and records that he, that he still holds for tackles, most tackles. And it's crazy.

Yeah.

You knew he was, he's a perfect coach. And I think maybe the second thing that we saw from him was him riding a horse, drinking a beer. And I was like, yeah, okay. This guy, he's, he's a football guy.

Yeah.

That's a football dude for sure.

Yeah.

Do we have any super fans? Because I think one thing that we've learned about a healthy ecosystem for a sports league is the crazier the takes get, the crazier the fans get, the better for the league overall. I don't want to say I've got my eye on anyone in particular, but I, um, it wouldn't be the worst thing if we had like a Locked On Osos podcast run by super fans, if they had like a, a platform to, uh, celebrate wins or, or bitch about all of us, complain about the play calling. Like, that's what we need in, in a league for it to grow.

I—

we have some fans that we highlight in the second season. I'd be happy to connect them with you guys so that they can keep us accountable and make sure that there's a proper venue for them to air out all the pissed-off laundry of what we're doing.

Okay, have, uh, have we thought about implementing, uh, like downfield laterals all the time in the offense?

No, no, we haven't.

I think that's the future of football. We should do it.

Well, the other thing too to think about is obviously we're down in Monterey with our team, but the rest of the league has kind of been leaning on us. The It's NFL rules, so it's easy to follow, but they're also leaning on us for ideas and advice on how to evolve the game down there. So any ideas for us, we can kind of be the sandbox for any crazy ideas. I mean, I don't— I can't guarantee we'll do them, but I do feel like this is an amazing opportunity for us to pitch things and try them.

Because when the downfield lateral hits football, it's going to take over offenses. It's going to change the sport if you can plan out a design downfield lateral once every series of plays, the chunk yardage you get off if you coach it correctly and if it's practiced correctly would vastly outweigh the risk of a turnover. NFL coaches, college coaches are afraid of pitching the ball backward because what if a guy drops it? What if it's a bad pitch? A turnover could cost them their job. In an environment like this, I feel like that is the perfect environment to, uh, to try something crazy like that. The explosive plays— and not only does it open up the offense when, uh, when guys are getting tackled, you pitch it to somebody, they can get another like 20 yards. But once you start doing it, you put it on tape, defenses are going to stop swarming to the guy with the ball because they know that a lateral might be coming. So even just a normal pass or a design run, that guy's going to have more open lanes ideally if the other players have to respect the fact that he might pitch off.

I mean, you're very passionate about this. I, I'm believing you. I don't know if this is right or not. I have no idea. It's kind of like the, uh, it's kind of like the debate on going for it on, on fourth down. Yeah, it sounds great. Yeah, I'll, I'll connect you with Alfredo, our offensive coordinator, and you get— you guys should, uh, you guys should powwow on this.

The thing is, I don't know if it's right either. But if it's right, it's going to be really right. It's going to be like the most right thing ever. If it's wrong, so what? You tried.

And then we have the fans come on and blame you.

Yeah.

On the Lockdown Osso podcast.

Yeah. Call for my job.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Ryan, I had a couple of questions about training camp and just football in general and maybe going to the NFL for a second. Do you, do you, do you miss it? Do you miss training camp? I know you said you missed the locker room, but training camp has to be one of the things where it's like, like, hey, I don't have these— this anxiety? Uh, because talking to some guys, they say it's like, it's like the first day of school where you're like, oh fuck, like when summer's over and you get the anxiety of, of having to go back to training camp. Is that something that it's a relief when you see some of your friends and former, you know, guys that you played with or guys that are now coaching have to go back to training camp?

Yeah, I love training camp. I mean, I, I also— I'm gonna sound like an old head, but I was part of the transition with the new CBA and the old one. So I also, I was part of like 2-a-days.

Yeah.

And I did— prior to that new CBA, no, I did not love training camp because it was brutal. There was nothing worse than waking up early in the morning feeling sore after a week of practice, uh, just being exhausted. You know, we'd go— we were in Spartanburg, South Carolina, and we slept in these really shitty dorms, so it was like the worst night's sleep ever. Um, and then you'd wake up, you'd have this really hard hard full padded practice. And then it just felt like— it felt like a dream. Like, the time between that practice and the second practice felt like 5 minutes. And then you'd go in the locker room and start putting on these wet pads. Yeah, it's just miserable. I hated it. And so then in the new CBA, there— all that went away, and it was a cakewalk, you know, comparatively. But then you'd hear younger guys bitch about it, and you're like, I don't want to hear it. So I think every, every era, every generation sort does that. But yeah, I do miss the time. It is like sleepaway camp.

Yeah.

And just like you talk about being idiots, it was so fun. And you kind of like towards the end of it too, you get delusional. The one thing I miss though, I used to talk to Coach Rivera about this all the time, the one thing I think that we miss in the game from not having two-a-days anymore is you kind of weed out the guys that aren't built for the game. I know that sounds weird, but like when there was a huge uptick in injuries, or at least it seems like it. I think part of that is you don't have that kind of, um, like callous process that you do with getting guys tough, or at least weeding out guys who aren't built for it. And so the guys that really do have that kind of physical longevity, I think they're the ones that kind of come out and, and they're the ones that are there for the season. But you don't build that anymore, you don't weed those guys out. So I do feel like a lot of injuries that you see is because of that.

It also feels like— and maybe you could tell me this is wrong because obviously you, you know, you were, uh, what, 5 2-time Pro Bowler, 2-time All-Pro center position. Like, it does feel like the offensive line play suffers early in the season when it comes to not getting enough reps in training camp, not— you know, the, the preseason is a joke now. Guys, like, they're playing one series, and you could see it. Like, September football just looks just a little chunky, sloppy, whatever you want to call it. And it does feel like we've lost a little of that, especially when it comes to, like, an offensive line.

I think you're absolutely right. And again, I blame the CBA. I do feel like prior to that, there was a lot more development time that you had with the teams. And also, like, I also feel like it's kind of trickled up the college level too. I think with so much turnover and guys going to transfer portal and coaches kind of scared to coach, like, the game has gotten very simplified in a way where there's not a lot of technique involved and Everything's about installing plays, plays, plays, plays. And then at the pro level, like, coaches get no time with the young guys, so there really is no more development anymore. Um, and I saw that as soon as the new CBA happened. Um, so I blame Jeff Saturday because he was like, well, I don't need the development, I don't need the technique, I just want more vacation time.

Yeah.

So like, for us older guys, it was awesome, but I think as we were getting into camp you know, you saw the stress on these coaches. And then when you were in camp and these guys felt way more behind than they did prior to that CBA, I was like, oh, this is going to have— this is going to have a lasting effect that I don't think is going to be good for the game.

Yeah.

And if on that same tip, like, for offensive linemen, how important is consistency in the offensive line? Like, the same 5 guys year after year coming back, it, you know, doesn't always happen. Some guys frequently have, you know, one or two positions you got to switch out. But, um, is that something that we overrate talking about it? Like, you can work through a training camp and develop that chemistry, or is it real that if you have 4 or 5 guys that return year after year, um, that's, that's much better than anything that you can get no matter how talented a group of 5 guys that are just starting to play with each other could be?

Yeah, I think so. I mean, I, I played with some really incredible players who were sort of journeymen, uh, or mercenaries. But, you know, moving guys in as a revolving door, it's hard because you— it is kind of like dancing. Like, you kind of have these— like, how I would block with my left guard was different than how I'd block with my right guard. So like, a lot of the combination stuff, even shorthand, like the game happening so fast, you kind of come up with your own calls because guys catch on on the other side pretty quickly. So you're constantly playing games within a game, and, and. And so when you're having a revolving door of guys, it's sort of, it's sort of hard to kind of get in unison. It's sort of hard to kind of have that. And it's not just across the line. It's also with your quarterback. It's also with the tight ends, with other guys. So the more continuity you can have, the faster you can play. And, and then the more you can kind of play the game within the game. So yeah, I absolutely think that's true.

I have a USC question. First of all, is it weird that you're in the Big Ten now?

Yeah, that's super weird.

Yeah, I mean, because you got— USC is not like a Big Ten. Like, you guys can't play man football, you play like, you know, razzle-dazzle shit.

Well, I, I don't know about all that, but yeah, I hear you.

No, I mean, that's, that's just a fact.

Yeah, show us a fact. It's a fact. You guys are just like that.

You feel like some of these Michigan guys that are down here on the West Coast.

Well, they're right.

Yeah, yeah, whatever.

You guys don't have enough calories in California to develop actual offensive Arawan is not gonna get you a nose tackle that is gonna compete in the Big Ten. You just know that for a fact. Uh, you— but you played with, you know, very like incredible USC teams. Matt Leinart, Reggie Bush, Pete Carroll. Was it as fun for you as an offensive lineman as it was for Matt Leinart, Reggie Bush? Like, were people like, hey, there, there's a guy on the USC team? Like, I'd imagine it rocked.

Yeah, it was because there was no NFL team, so we kind of were the NFL team. I mean, that's why you see all those videos, all the celebrities coming around, and it was fun. Yeah, those, those, uh, those seasons were, were very fun. They weren't always in them. I mean, Pete had these really, really hard practices and guys wanted to quit almost every day. And, um, but you were better off for it because like we had Pete was funny because he, Pete had this really great philosophy, which was like, he came in with all this charisma and excitement, and he was like fun Uncle Pete. But then he had these like hardcore assistant coaches, and so he always got to come in and save the day. And so it was great because you listen to Pete, you trusted Pete, but then he'd have— he'd stick his assistant coaches on us who would just grind us down. I mean, I had Ed Ogeron yelling at me every single day.

The best. Yeah, that sounds awesome.

The best.

Yeah, that sounds like a lot of fun. That's our guy.

He'd be like, what the hell are you thinking about on that play, Khalil? You thinking about Big Fat Betty? I was like, what is he yelling at me about?

Uh, we've had a lot of receivers on the show. We ask them about all the quarterbacks they've caught passes from, if they can name all of them, and we also do around— we've been fortunate to be spending a lot of time around centers, people that played center at a high level like our guy Cadek, and they're just very open about, you know, different quarterbacks that have taken snaps. Can you name every quarterback that has touched your butthole?

Oh shit, I can try. Matt Leinart, John David Booty, Matt Castle, Um, Matt Moore, Jake Delome, Cam Newton, Derek Anderson, Jimmy Clausen.

Yep.

Uh, fun fact, I snapped Vinny Testaverde's last snap ever.

That is a fun fact. Yep.

Yeah, yeah. Um, I know I'm gonna be missing somebody. Uh, I'm guessing you have a list there.

Couple legends in there. Yeah, couple legends. You said Derek Anderson, right? Yeah. Brian St. Pierre.

Brian St. Pierre, yeah.

Legend.

Yeah. Taylor Heinecke, legend. Legend. Kyle Allen. Teddy Bridgewater. Oh no, sorry, that was a year after. That was a year after you left. I think that's all of them. I think you just missed 3, so good job.

Okay.

The young guys. I missed the young guys.

How could you miss Brian St. Pierre?

Oh, and David Carr.

Oh, David. Oh my God. He's going to kill me for missing that. I love David.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, David.

He obviously didn't leave a lasting impression in your asshole.

No, he didn't.

We had a lot more gun snaps, me and David. That's probably why.

Okay.

There wasn't that kind of like Star Wars Force moment that we had. Taylor, Taylor, one time we were in a game., and he was super bright-eyed young guy, and we had, we had a couple fumbled snaps, and he came up to me and he was looking at me like, hey, what's going on with your snaps? And I very sweetly looked at him and I was like, do you think I'm the problem who's been playing for 10, 11 years, or do you think the young guy who just came in is the guy who should probably change what he's doing? And he's Yep. You're right.

You're right. It's fair.

He's a great guy.

Very fair.

Love Taylor.

Yeah. He's the best.

Okay.

So this next season, let's just do this because people should know like where can people watch and when does the season start and like all that stuff. Because everyone should go watch We Are Osos documentary on YouTube. It's awesome. It will get you into it. Like I said, I think there's been a lot of documentaries out there. It's kind of like, hey, here's another rich athlete, here's another rich athlete. This is almost like the old school. This is really cool. You're getting to see something you don't normally see. A lot of people don't even know that this league exists. So when does league start, and then where can we watch during the season?

So we're in the offseason. It's a spring league, so we'll start back up in March of next year. Uh, where you can watch it, we're not sure yet. We're still talking and helping the league with those negotiations. We are on, um, ESPN2 in Mexico and Telemundo in the States, which you could get on Peacock, but, uh, that might change for next season. Um, but yeah, the— for the doc right now, it's on YouTube. Season 1, uh, just aired the first 2 episodes. Um, but yeah, you know, we have all our ownership group, which is like McCaffrey, Luke Keekly, who we're getting ready to go to Canton to go celebrate, uh, tomorrow. Um, Greg Olsen, Blake Griffin, Sam Darnold, George Kittle. Um, we got the whole crew, and, and they make appearances, uh, throughout the season. But really, the show's about these guys and celebrating these guys and their journeys. And, and, um, and again, these are football dudes, so, uh, appreciate you guys being part of this. And I'm serious, like, let's, let's brainstorm this offseason and figure out how we can make this thing a winning, a winning program, because, uh, that's the most important thing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You also, uh, like, you could have pitched us anything. You did a great job of getting— like, when it— when, when I think Blake was the first person to text me about it and he was like, hey, uh, Ryan Clewell wants to talk to you, Blake— like, I myself, George Kittle, and Greg Olsen all got it. I was like, okay, well, like, those are my guys. Okay, we're in. We don't even think you pitched. We're just like, we're in. So it's the best group you got. You basically found the best ownership group possible, excluding us. We're dog shit owners where we don't do shit.

No, we haven't won yet. Again, like my only experience has been the time I shared with Jerry Richardson when I was with the Panthers and he, Jerry, Jerry would before games, Jerry would make me come sit down with him so he could air out his laundry. He'd always be pissed off. Off about something. Usually it was always Steve Smith. Steve was— him and Steve, he loved Steve, but him and Steve would always get into it. I remember one game he came and sat next to me, it was like 10 minutes before I had to go out and play, and he just started airing out, venting his being pissed with Steve. And he would see— he would come next to me and he'd be like, you see that sorry SOB Steve Smith? I tried to trade for his ass, but ain't nobody want him. Ain't nobody want Oh, like Steve would always ask for a trade and then somebody would give like a crazy offer and Steve would be like, never mind, I'm good. I'm going to stay.

Yeah.

I have no experience as an owner, so I'm happy to sit down and brainstorm and have you guys be as critical as you want of me.

I am realizing like this is not a knock on any of the ownership group, but I think PFT and I are the only two people in the group that have a championship ring as at the professional level for sports.

Yep, I think so.

I actually think so.

Yeah, Greg, no.

What?

For, uh, the, the Philadelphia Water Dogs in the PLL won the title.

No big deal.

Also won a— was it NBL, the, uh, basketball league?

I don't think we won an NBL, but yeah.

So I thought that we did.

Anyway, we're the winning culture.

You were right to include us. Yeah, we got to turn this thing around. You brought me and Big Cat in to turn around this ownership group.

Group.

We're happy to do it. No substations, right? We don't have any substations by our practice field?

No, we don't.

Okay, because we would bulldoze those.

Good, good.

Um, all right, we don't drink the local water though, but yes, we, we don't have any substations next to us.

I saw that the, the, the guy was like, uh, yeah, there's a 7-Eleven across the street. But like, that— I would definitely slip up. I would— if I was living in Mexico for 6 months, I would definitely drink some water out of the tap.

I'm excited to have you guys come out to Monterey. It is one of the cool cities I never knew about until we took on this endeavor.

Yeah, it looks beautiful. Uh, all right, last question. Rowback question. R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com, promo code TAKE, 20% off your first purchase. Q-tips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Rowback.com, promo code TAKE. I'm wearing it right now. Go watch We Are Osos on YouTube. It is awesome.

Two—

first two episodes are out now. Just search it, you can find it. And get, get on the Osos because we're going to get more involved. Zach, you got your last question.

Yes, sir. Uh, how we doing today, sir? I did have a quick question for you. Uh, as a former NFL center and lifelong unit, you got to kind of let us in on this. How is it that centers and linemen alike are able to shape-shift after retirement? What's the, uh, what's the special sauce there?

Um, it's, it's pretty complicated. Uh, really it's just not eating anymore. Not eating 3,000 calories and that's about it. I was always undersized. I mean, I was, the most I weighed was probably like 295 and then I'd have to go against guys like Jalote Nada who was like 370, 380. So, there's not much use for that weight. Yeah. Outside. And yeah, you can, you can, your wardrobe opens up pretty incredible. I went from only wearing free Nike shit to now I get to go shop at the bougie, uh, Erewhon kind of shops in LA. Um, so yeah, I mean, that's, that's pretty much it. Stop eating.

By the way, that was redundant of you to say you're undersized. We, we know you played for USC. We already got— we already talked about that. The razzle-dazzle football.

Maybe Lindell White would have gotten that first down. You guys got to become more 40-pounders.

Paul Krutz was one of my heroes, and he was an undersized guy. But if you think he's a razzle-dazzle type center, then I guess This is the opposite of WrestleMania. I'll take that as a compliment.

Oh man. Um, all right, well, Ryan, this has been awesome, man. We really appreciate it. And, uh, I don't think Wisconsin plays USC this year, but we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll maybe make some bets in the future on, uh, Big Ten football versus— I— that's the worst part. Like, you should have just got me on that. Like, I'm talking shit, my team has been dogshit for like the last 5 years. So, uh, we, we tried to— we tried to get 1 yard against you guys like 2 last year or the year before. On shotgun 4th and 1, couldn't get it. So we are now the razzle-dazzle team. It's terrible to watch.

The Dairy Raid offense.

Yeah.

Yeah. We became that.

You have DFT who can help them with all kinds of— what was the player you pitched me?

I already forgot. Pitching is the right word. The design downfield laterals.

Watch Rugby.

Yeah. Watch Rugby. The future. Yeah.

Yeah. Um, all right, well, Ryan, thanks so much, man, and, uh, we'll link up for sure. And everyone go watch Riosus on YouTube.

Before we get to Terik Skubal, he's brought to you by Cuervo. Cuervo Devil's Reserve. It's pineapple jalapeño infused tequila. It's like a spicy marg in a bottle. Smooth, delicious. Devil's Reserve is the perfect drink for when mischief is on the menu. It's available in multiple sizes. You got the 50ml shooters, Perfect to bring to your party or your tailgate. It's time to listen to the little devil on your shoulder. Pour a round of shots. Get ready to raise a little hell. Go to your local liquor store or go to cuervo.com. Purchase your own bottle of Devil's Reserve. Raise a little hell. Please drink responsibly. Cuervo. And now here is Cy Young winner and Los Angeles Dodger Tarek Skubal.

Okay, we now welcome on a very, very special guest. He is Los Angeles Dodgers pitcher and two-time Cy Young winner, Tarek Skubal. Is that weird to say?

It's weird to say, weird to hear too. Not the Cy Young part. The Cy Young part is very cool, you know, and normal. But the Dodger part, yeah, is it's going to—

it's—

I don't know when that's going to normalize, but it will.

Yeah.

Yeah. So probably when you sign like a $500 million deal within this offseason, then it will normalize. Nice.

All right.

So, so obviously crazy last week for you. I wanted to go back and like just, I'm just curious on a general sense of like what getting traded is like and what like walk me through it. You know, we know your last start in Detroit and it was like emotional and you walk off the mound. So, you know, at that point, like I'm getting traded, right? Like you, you know it in your head. You've had conversations with everyone. Is that how it goes?

No.

So that, that last start, I leave the game, um, 7-1 with 2 outs in the 7th inning. I leave the game 7-1. We're gonna win the series against Baltimore, I think. Um, and then we go to Oakland— or Sacramento, sorry. We go to Sacramento and play the A's, and I'm very confident that we can, you know, win the series there, or if not sweep the series, you know, just based on who we had going and how we're playing baseball. Um, but so I leave the game, 7th inning, 2 outs, you know, the ovation is awesome. I really appreciate all the fans and everything, you know. I got like 3 or 4 of them that game. When I walked in to pitch, they gave me an ovation. When I struck out the first guy of the game, it was my 1,000th, they gave me an ovation. Um, when I ran back out for the 7th, same thing. And when I came back in, so it was just like a special crucial game, you know. And I think they understood what was at stake, and so did I, um, you know. And if we win that game, I don't know if I'm traded, you know.

I— but once we lost that game, I was like, yeah, we just split with the Royals, um, and lost some games late, lost both those games late. We lost the series to Baltimore, um, it just kind of felt inevitable, you know. Yeah, that was the thing that, um, and, and how we lost too was you know, pretty defeating. Um, and at that point I kind of knew, like, I was like, yeah, I'm gonna get traded. Um, doesn't make it any easier, but, you know, I think I kind of, I figured, yeah, what was gonna happen.

Yeah.

And did you know, did you have a pretty good idea that it was probably going to be the Dodgers?

No. Yeah, I had no idea. I mean, the Dodgers tend to do things like this at deadlines and free agency. Um, and it wasn't surprising it was LA, but but, you know, I thought it could go anywhere, you know, as far as speculation. Milwaukee was in, uh, Cubs, Atlanta, um, Phillies, and, and LA, I think, were kind of the big, the big— I think the Yankees were in too. Um, but also, who knows, you know, I don't know what to believe anymore, you know, through social media and stuff. But that's kind of what I heard and what the rumors were that, um, you know, at least that my agent was telling me.

Yeah, yeah. And a lot of times, even after, after a trade's done, you'll hear teams that like they try to leak that out that they were involved too, just so that their fans think, oh yeah, they were trying, that's nice. But I guess you never really know how, how like all the, all the nitty-gritty stuff went down. But on, on Saturday, how did you find out? Who told you?

Yeah, so I, um, I was, you know, doing all my normal stuff. I threw a bullpen that day. I was going in during the game to get a little bit of treatment during the game. Um, walked in, uh, saw some things on my phone my agent texted me that some of, uh, the clients got pulled from the Dodgers, uh, AA game or wherever those guys were playing at, um, and texted me and was like, hey, we think this is going to happen soon, you know, and then you're gonna go be a Dodger. So I kind of just hung out there, um, and I was just doing my treatment or whatever like a normal thing. I'm like, I will see what happens, you know, I don't want to think about this right now, I'm just going to treat it as a regular day. And then our head trainer came to me and said, hey, you got a second? And I go, yeah, this is where it is, uh, this is what's happening. Um, took me into a room. President, uh, you know, of the Tigers, Scott, calls me, hey, we made a trade to the Dodgers.

I'm like, yep, I hear you. And that phone call, Friedman picks up the phone, hey, excited to have you, yada yada yada, go through that. Um, hop on the phone with Dave Roberts after the game too, and then, you know, tried to go back and forth with as many people as I could from the Dodgers organization, you know. But my phone was broken. It still kind of is, you know. It's a lot, you know. But, um, yeah, you just, you know, you get phone calls and you kind of get told that your life's gonna change. Yeah, you know, and it doesn't make it easier. Um, you know, it became pretty emotional. That whole day was pretty emotional, saying bye, you know. Going into AJ's office was tough. You know, pretty emotional in there too, you know, close the doors and, you know, I just thanked them for everything, obviously for taking care of me for 5, 6 years, whatever it was, you know. And then you start saying bye to teammates once the media gets out of there, you know, you say bye to teammates and, you know, a lot of those guys are my best friends, you know, and it's like a bunch of men and I'm crying, you know, and I don't— I hate crying, you know, I don't cry a lot, you know, when my wife walked down the aisle, I didn't cry because I was so nervous.

And I'm crying in a clubhouse with a bunch of other grown men saying bye to people and getting everybody a hug. So it's tough. It's tough. But it was a lot, you know, but I'm definitely excited to be here.

And I'd imagine, I mean, you said it on social media and in some of your press conference, but like the city of Detroit, like, you know, they loved you and they still love you. And we were saying on PMT after the trade happened that like, this is kind of the unfortunate part of where baseball is. Like, it's no fault of your own. You've pitched out of your mind for a long time now, and you're, you know, an asset that people want, and you're going to get paid a lot of money. But like, it sucks that Detroit just doesn't get to keep you for your whole career. Like, that's just kind of a bummer, you know? And I think fans are probably like, they can be happy for you, but also be like, yeah, that kind of sucks. That's our guy.

Yeah, no doubt. I mean, and it sucks for me too. You know, this wasn't the way the season was supposed to go. Going into the offseason, the, the people that we acquired, you know, through free agency and who we signed, um, you know, I'm like, this is, this is the World Series team, you know. This is the team that I'm gonna go and win a World Series and beat anybody, you know. It doesn't matter what's going on. So, you know, it's tough for Ryan too, you know. I, I would love to play my whole career in Detroit, you know. I would love to. And hopefully those negotiations can pick back up in um, in November, you know, once the playoffs are done. And, and we'll see where that goes, you know. Hopefully they're involved with everything, you know. I would love to return. I, I got nothing but good things to say about the city of Detroit and, and, um, you know, the manager, the coaching, the staff, the trainers, the teammates. Like, yeah, it's, it's tough, you know. And I'm, I'm gonna try not to cry right now, but, um, yeah, I mean, I love all those guys.

So hopefully they're involved in November and And, you know, we'll see what happens then.

Well, I'll get you off, off the crying emotional stuff.

All right.

Switch to something else. What does it feel like to be a villain now? Because you are a villain. I don't know if you saw some of the social media stuff. Some made me laugh.

I try to stay off.

Okay, so let me share this one with you. It's from, it's from Roy Brick Jones, CPA, MBA. I'm thinking Brick Jones doesn't have a CPA or an MBA. But he tweeted a picture. It's Tarik Skubal meeting his new teammate Shohei Ohtani. And it's a picture of Hitler shaking hands with the Emperor of Japan.

Perfect. Great. Outstanding. You know, I think the stuff that you can find on Twitter and Instagram is unbelievable. I think the most creative place ever.

Yeah.

Yeah, but you're like— it's funny because you are like— people are, are mad. Uh, like, we, we love you, we're not changing. And I'm also speaking—

you ruined baseball, but we still love you.

Yeah, yeah.

And I'm also speaking from a spot where the Cubs just swept the Dodgers. So I'd like— if the Dodgers swept the Cubs, I don't know if you'd be on the show right now. I'd be so mad. But, uh, but yeah, like, it's, it's got to feel a little weird that people like— it's, it's misdirected anger because you're a player that got traded. You didn't, you didn't like like this wasn't something that you had control of, uh, in the moment. But yeah, you're hated. You're the poster boy for, uh, everyone who's mad at baseball.

Yeah, I, I mean, uh, I don't really know, um, what to say, you know, because if I say anything, it'll just get even worse, right?

Yeah.

But you know, I was actually talking to Kike last night on the plane ride out here, and he's like, I've never seen a guy go from very loved in a place to the most hated player in baseball. Yeah. And he said that, and I was like, yeah, I, I guess, you know, I guess, um, the environment in Chicago was awesome. Yeah. Not only did I get booed walking out, I got booed playing catch, I got booed coming in, and I got booed every inning I ran out. And I was like, this is unbelievable.

Yeah.

I'm And, you know, credit to fans. Those are good fans. You know, I think they created such a great environment. And without them, our sport would suck. You know, without people that care about everything like that, our sport would suck, you know. And all sports would suck, right? Without fans, there would be no sport. You know, who wants to watch guys just go tackle each other on a football field? Like, I mean, I would— I love doing that. But if there were no fans for that, those guys wouldn't just go get tackled and beat up, you know.

Facts.

Yeah, we pay your salary.

And if it makes you feel any better, number one, everything So yeah, we do. Yeah, I love it, you know. I love, you know, getting booed and, um, people— because it means the fans care, you know. It means they care about beating us. It means they care about their team winning. It means they care about the sport of baseball. And, um, you know, I, I love our sport. I think it's, you know, it's awesome in terms of, uh, entertainment, you know. I, I really do. I think we're up there. Obviously the NFL is kind of like the top dog,. But in terms of professional sports in America, I would say we're pretty cemented second, you know. And, um, yeah, it's fun, you know, it's fun. I think, uh, it's great, you know, the fans, whatever environment they want to create, um, do it, you know. I think it's great for, for the sport of baseball.

If it makes you feel any better, you're a really shitty villain. Like, you're a nice guy. Like, people that are upset with you, like, you're a nice guy, great pitcher, like, awesome for the They're just, they're just upset in this situation. They're probably more than anything frustrated their team didn't get you, and they would be singing a completely different tune if it wasn't to a team that they didn't cheer for. And then also in the picture where it's Hirohito and Hitler, you're not Hitler. You were Hirohito. So, so they labeled you. At least you got that one. Yeah. Yeah.

That's good. That's good. You know, I think that that's an important part of that.

Yeah.

But also, like, I mean, baseball has kind of historically had these, you know, if you look at the Yankees, I mean, they're like the evil empire, right? Everyone loves to hate the Yankees.

Yeah.

And I think that's great for the sport. You know, I think the rivalry and fans getting involved and going to stadiums just to boo the other team and cheer for their team is great, right? And I love that, you know, as far as being the villain or being painted or whatever narratives there are out there, I've seen a couple couple, um, you know, but I really do try to stay off of Twitter, you know.

It's a dark place.

Yeah, it's a dark place, you know, uh, or Instagram, you know. I try to, you know, I post what I want to post and, um, share what I want to share. But, you know, there's also some funny stuff too. Like, uh, I just saw this video of— it was like an AI video of me after my first strikeout in LA, and then it's like, you start transitioning, and I'm dancing, and it's like a shirt off, and it's just like crazy stuff. I'm like, how do people create that, you know? How How are you so creative that you do that? But, um, it's good, you know. I, I can't complain about it. You know, it's an industry that is, uh, created by fans and by these people.

And, um, that's what makes you a Hoss too, by the way. Like, being like, I like the booze. That's why you have hot— that's why you're, you're a Hoss. So speaking as a Hoss, you join a pitching staff with Cy Youngs coming out of their ears, guys. I saw like the stat, I think it's, uh, the lowest ERA in the last— since 2022. It's you, Paul Skeens, Blake Snell, Shohei Ohtani, and Yamamoto. 4 out of 5 guys are on the Dodgers. Is it weird, like, going to a pitching staff where it's like, you're, you're the top dog in Detroit now? It's not like you're not the, you know, the top dog, but there's a lot of dogs. And it's like, how does that work where you're like, hey, we're all here together, and like we're all aces, I guess.

Yeah, I think, I mean, as far as how I am, you know, how I'm gonna approach it is like I'm gonna try and be a sponge and learn as much from all these guys because they're all great in their own right, you know. Watch how they prepare, watch how they scout, uh, watch how they attack the lineups, what they do, you know, in bullpens, in between starts, what they do, um, in between innings, just all those types of things, right? And try to learn and see if I can grab anything to apply to my game. Um, but it's going to be a ton of fun to watch those guys go out there and roll and compete. You know, it's the game's best, right? I mean, like you said, those ERAs, you know, the numbers don't lie. And, and what Yamamoto and Snell, uh, were able to do last postseason, especially Yamamoto, is like— did he— I mean, I, I think he's the guy in LA. You know, you're a World Series MVP and, and, you know, you did some pretty incredible things. I'm excited to, you know, pitch alongside him. You know, I think it's going to be— I think it's going to be a great, you know, for everybody involved and, you know, hopefully win another championship here in the city.

When, when you were traded, what logistically is that like? I'm curious to know, like, how much does it take? Do you just get on a plane and you show up, or do you have to worry about, like, contacting a realtor? Do you have to Worry about like packing stuff up from your house. Like, that's a— it must be a whirlwind couple, like, I don't know, 48 hours for you. Like, how much stuff do you actually have to do that's, that's moving? Like we all go through when we have to move somewhere.

Yeah, no doubt. It's all the above, I think. So we were flying out, we were flying out west with Detroit. We had a 10-day road trip with 2 off days. So I had my suitcase packed with a lot of clothes in general.. And you have all that stuff, and then, um, you obviously have your baseball stuff, right? The stuff that you take on the road. Um, so I already had at least 10 days of clothes and 10 pairs of underwear. You know, I think underwear is probably the most important thing, you know, because you can rewash— you know, you can wear your clothes. I don't, I don't know about wearing underwear for 2 or 3 days. I think that's where I draw the line on, on that stuff. But, um, yeah, you do all that, and then, you know, you get traded. So I, you know, communicate with the travel secretary in LA. They give me a plane. Plane, or they get me on a plane from Sac to LA, car to— from LA to the field, meet a million people. You know, I, I don't know anyone's name still. I'm trying my best. You know, every day I have everyone, all the staff, just say, whenever you see me, shake my hand and tell me your name, please.

And then I will get it. And once I start knowing your name, it'll just turn into a fist bump, you know, and then we know each other. That's smart. But then, uh, because it's hard, you know, I'm like, did I— I don't even know who the trainers are. I know the strength coaches. I don't know, I'm like, who's the trainer, who's the PT, who's the massage, you know, what, what, how does this vibe work? Um, and you try to figure it out. And then when we went to Chicago, my wife actually flew to Detroit and, you know, had some help packing up the house and getting everything situated, getting the cars packed. Those are the two most important things. And communicating with the Dodgers on getting my car shipped out to, uh, LA, because you can just throw a bunch of stuff in there, you know, your clothes, everything. Um, and then my agent also helped out a ton with housing and stuff and where to live in LA and, and got us into a house. And, you know, we're going through that whole process right now of, um, signing papers and, you know, leases and all that stuff and just trying to figure it all out.

And then Hopefully, you know, the goal is to try and be as seamless as you can to when, um, you know, luckily LA was, you know, we're on the road for a week, so I had at least a week to sit, you know, figure out where I'm gonna live, uh, how to get my cars there, all that stuff. Because on the road you don't need any of that stuff anyway. So, you know, luckily they're on the road and I can get my car shipped out. I think that'll be there soon. And then, you know, we've got some housing stuff finalized, and hopefully that's done in the next day or two. And then when we fly back back. Uh, my wife's gonna fly out early, I think, uh, maybe Saturday. What— I don't know what today is, Thursday?

Thursday, yeah.

Okay, yeah, the weekdays and the weekends are the same. Yeah, same as Friday through Sunday. Um, so yeah, I think my wife's gonna fly out Saturday, get everything, uh, settled in in the house. Um, and then her mother-in-law, father-in-law are going to drive with some stuff from our house in Arizona. Um, luckily it's on the West Coast, so they can just drive with some stuff, some packs you know, pack some stuff up here that we need, um, and then get there. And hopefully it's kind of seamless, you know. You'll kind of probably be in a little bit of chaos for the first home stand, but hopefully by the second home stand we'll, we'll have everything kind of smoothed over and, um, you can just get back to playing baseball and doing all that stuff. Yeah, but yeah, a lot, you know, your whole life changes. Um, but yeah, that's kind of the—

that fast.

Yeah, it's a great equalizer because like no matter who you are and how much money you have, moving sucks. It's just a pain.

Yeah. Yeah.

Sucks.

Who's your best friend on the team so far?

Dodgers?

Yeah.

Oh, that's, that's a tough, you know, I think I'm attracted. That's a weird way to say that.

Go ahead.

Yeah. The energy of Kike and Miguel Rojas is very contagious.

Okay.

Okay.

Attracted to them.

Yep.

They, they attract, I think everybody, you know, and they, I think they kind of run run the ship. And I might be wrong, but that's my early judgment, you know. I've been with the team for 3 days now, uh, but yeah, they kind of run the ship, um, and guide everybody. Uh, but they're a ton of fun to be around, you know. The plane rides— luckily we've had a 4-hour plane ride and a 3-hour plane ride, so you get to just dive in with the guys and kind of see what— who these guys are and play cards or whatever, you know. And really, I think those are where those, like, you know, bonds are truly be created. So you say luckily on long travel, you're like, I don't want to have a 4-hour flight, but it's actually been huge for me to get to know everybody and kind of understand the lay of the land.

I got a question about that. So I didn't know this until you got traded. And I was just, I was reading some stuff and like talk about the Dodgers and how they do everything correctly. And like they do everything first class. The Dodgers have two planes. You have just a player's plane.

Yeah.

So what is that? That saves you what, like an hour and a half every time you guys have to get on the road?

Yeah, we leave. I mean, after the game ends, we leave. If we can, we'll get out of there 30 minutes after the game. And whenever our— whenever everybody's on the plane from a player standpoint and some of our luggage is, you know, all the luggage is already there, which they do before the game even starts, you know, they have a truck go and get everything loaded on the, on the plane anyways, you're gone. And you take off and you get to everywhere you need to go like 45 minutes, sometimes an hour before, uh, the other plane gets there. So it's— I mean, those are just the little things that the Dodgers do right, you know. And, and, um, you know, they travel with a couple support staff, uh, the bullpen catchers, and then obviously they have, you know, the flight attendants and everything. And it's all, uh, whatever you need, you know. The trainers are— they— I think they have 2 trainers on the plane too. So they have, you know, whatever you need to get done travel-wise you need treatment, whatever, you know, they have, they have it out there, you know, they do that the right way.

You know, I think that that's just like those small things that, um, may not seem big, but like, I think they add up, you know.

Yeah. Yeah. Have you figured out a new handshake with like everybody on the team? Because that's my favorite part about like if somebody gets traded, within a week they've already got the intricate new handshake dialed in.

Yeah, I'm trying to figure out, uh, our celebrations at first and second and third for triples and home runs and all that stuff. I'll get, I'll pretty locked in because I was pretty dialed in on the Detroit ones. Um, and once the relationships start to form, you know, I think that we'll all have our own, you know, unique handshake. Usually it has to do with something funny that's happened or, uh, you know, some history there that you'll start seeing some weird handshakes, you know, develop. And, um, yeah, we'll get there though. We'll get there for sure. Uh, and I'm excited for that because those things are Those are just the little things that like people don't understand that are, that are pretty funny.

Yeah.

All right. I got a question for you. And if you don't answer it the way I want you to answer it, I'm going to start tweeting some mean memes. We had this debate in the office the other day from a player's perspective. Is there any, is there such a thing as a statement win in a 162-game season?

A statement win? Yeah.

Like one single game in 162. Or is it a statement series? Can you have a statement win? Can you have a singular statement win game?

Yeah, I think, um, be careful. Yeah, I think it's, I think you can look back at certain games and be like, this game is the game that we all clicked and went, you know, and you kind of just see the, uh, the ball get rolling and then it becomes contagious and it doesn't stop. But that also happens in like, if you win a series against a really good team. Those things also happen as well. And you can kind of roll off that. So I'm going to give you a bad answer, but like both of those things can happen.

That's a bad answer. All right.

All right.

Let me ask a different way. On Monday night. No, no, no. Ask a different way.

You can't keep asking until you get the answer you want.

No, no.

This is a specific way. No, no. This is a specific thing. On Monday night, could you feel like that was a statement win for the Cubs season?

Uh, was— I don't know that you can ask him if that was the same for the Cubs. He wasn't— he wasn't in the clubhouse.

Did he feel it?

Did he feel it from the other side?

It was so obvious. You were like, damn, they made a statement.

Shit, that was a statement. That was a game that you guys were up 3-0 in the top of the first and Seiya hit a 2-run homer in the bottom of the first round.

Yeah, 10-5 in that game. Yeah, um, I would ask those guys, but. But I think, I mean, those are like, I kind of call those character wins when you get punched in the mouth early and you come back and, and, you know, if I was on their side, that'd be kind of like a character win. That's what I would probably describe it as because when you get punched in the mouth early, especially as a starting pitcher, you know, you give up 3, I think Boyd gave up 3 runs within 5 pitches and pitches into the 7th inning. Like that's a character start, I think. And okay, and those things like, I love watching that, you know, it's like, hey, you get punched in the mouth, let's see who you really because that game could have easily spiraled on him. But he held strong and made pitches and did his thing. And I love Matt Boyd too. I love Matt Boyd because he's one of my guys.

But yeah, I think we got an inconclusive answer.

I'm not going to let Che win this. It was the wrong answer.

You just didn't like the answer. No, he said you can't have both.

You think it was a statement win?

No, Stephen Che in our office called it a statement win. And I was like, I was at the game with my son. I saw you. You said hello to me. That was like, it was a win. And I think 162 games, it's hard to be like, oh, this win has changed everything.

Yeah, I don't think that. Yeah, I don't, I don't— that you play, we play so many games that like, I don't know if there's statement wins or, you know, stuff like that. But I'd say there's like, you know, good character and statement series.

I like character wins. Yeah, statement series, character win. Yeah, because my whole point was it was game 1 of the series. If we had lost the next 2 games How could you say that was a statement win?

Yeah, I think in hindsight you could say that was a statement win, but in the moment, you could say that was a statement win.

He said it right away.

But then what happened?

That's right.

But he could have said it.

No, but when we had the argument, it was only— the second game hadn't been played yet.

But if the Cubs go on a run now, that's almost like—

you look back and like, that's a statement win.

He called it and then it happened.

No, but statement wins are That's like, that's a big feather in his cap. I'm all in on statement series. I think a statement series can absolutely happen in baseball.

I think you do statement at-bats. I think you can get even smaller with it. That was a statement pitch. You strike a guy out and then you do, oh, have you thought about doing that? Striking a guy out and then jumping up in the air and kind of like doing the splits after strike 3.

Yeah, that's crazy.

Yeah, that's crazy.

Yeah, I don't— that's not my forte, but I guess each their own. I guess that's how I would approach it.

Yeah.

Yeah, I don't know about that, but yeah, I don't know the guy personally at all. Yeah, statement series can absolutely happen. We had this debate after just one game and I was like, you have to like, you can't. And also like, whatever it was, I'm just letting him bother me too much because like, I didn't know that like the net, like, you know, we had the debate on Tuesday morning. I didn't know in a few hours we would chase you off Wrigley. And like beat you 5-1. Like, I didn't know that.

Yeah. Yeah.

But maybe he did. And that's a credit to maybe his baseball IQ. Maybe he knows something that you don't know. We're talking, we're also talking about my team losing. I don't know if I should do that.

True.

Fair point. Fair point.

We're talking hypotheticals here. Maybe not this current situation.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's fair that I made you answer to this series.

Can I say something nice about, about the Dodgers? Dodgers, and we can delete this. I don't want people to hear this. Um, I'm gonna root so hard for the Dodgers if you end up playing the Yankees in the World Series. I think a lot of people kind of fall in line.

It's like, I will—

I'm going to be rooting. I think a lot of people are rooting against the Dodgers just because like the underdog story is fun. You've, you've lived it. You've played it. Like Detroit, when you guys were kind of caught fire the other year, that was fun. That was a great environment. You like to root for these, these, uh, underdog Dogs. Um, if you make it to the World Series against the Yankees, I will be 100% rooting for the Dodgers. I think a lot of people will change their tune about, oh, the Dodgers are ruining baseball, if they're forced to choose between Los Angeles or, like you said, the Evil Empire. Sounds like you already hate them. You called them the Evil Empire.

Well, I'm just throwing out that this is not the first time that there's been an Evil Empire, right? No.

And you know what, I was actually curious about this the other day.

I'd actually like to get your thoughts. Um, when Brady was kind of rolling through with the Patriots, right, you know, I, I was— I grew up not really like a fan of, of a certain football team. I was a fan of like football players. That's kind of how I've always like with, with, um, any sport, you know, like I grew up a fan of like the athletes themselves, not really the teams, um, for whatever reason. I don't know why I did that, but, um, when Brady was doing all that, all that winning I mean, were they hated?

Yeah.

Or were they—

Yes, they were hated.

Like, that's pretty unanimous. Like, everyone hated the New England Patriots.

It started, I want to say, like 2006, 2007. It was nice at first because they were the underdog and like they were relying on a solid defense. And that first season where they won the Super Bowl, it's like, yeah, they were, they were the scrappy guys that we loved.

The only, the only guy who has seemingly been able to win and not get hated is, in my opinion, Steph Curry.

Yeah, yeah. How was that, do you think?

I mean, I think KD got a lot of the hate. I think Steph is also like, you know, the undersized— like, what he does on a basketball court is so incredible. It's like you want to watch. And I'm not saying that— there's definitely people who hate the Warriors, but it never felt like it was hate directed just at Steph Curry, you know what I mean? Not like a LeBron or Brady or Mahomes where it's like, we hate this guy. So he— it feels like, yeah, he was— he's the only one who like universally is kind of loved. Whether you could hate the Warriors and still be like, I love Steph Curry.

Yeah, yeah, that's a good point, actually. That's a really good—

so you got to just be like Steph Curry. Maybe go out and pitch with a mouthguard in and chew on it while you're pitching.

That's his thing too. And he chucks it sometimes, hits fans. Yeah, I like that.

Yeah, yeah, that would be great.

Throw a heater at hit him.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, we're gonna fix this whole thing, huh? I like that.

I also think with Steph, since he appears undersized, even though he's like, you know, he's tall for like an average American male, uh, every— everyone's watching him and we're like, oh, that could be me if I just worked hard enough on my shot.

Yeah. I mean, and he changed the game so much, you know. It's just like, hey, just shoot threes.

Yeah, yeah.

You're playing this league. So so he changed, you know, how high school is, how middle school is. You see these kids shooting 40-footers, it's like, dude, you're not even strong enough to get it there, right? Um, but yeah, yeah, sure, yeah, okay, so yeah, I got you.

Yeah, I have a, uh, a baseball question. Might be dumb to ask you at this point, but is there anything about the ballpark that you're going to take into account now that you're pitching in Los Angeles? Like, are you going to change anything at all about your approach?

Dodger Stadium.

Yep.

Um, I think it, I think it plays pretty fair both offensively and, you know, defensively. I don't know if it's like, it's not like a Coors Field where the ball flies out of there, or, or like a Wrigley when the ball is flying out, you know. But also the environment can't— I've always thought, you know, the environment can't change how you pitch, you know. I just don't believe in that, you know. And Wrigley, if the ball is flying out like, okay, you're gonna give up a couple cheap home runs, but you're also— your team's gonna hit a couple cheap home runs. So like, it's all going to even out, or it should, you know. Fenway, like the monster in left, I can't pitch a team any different, you know. I still need to go pitch and attack these guys and pitch to my strengths and match with their weakness and kind of do all that stuff. Um, or like Yankee Stadium short porch and right, or Crawford Box short porch, you know, in left, the, you know, the, the the seats that are out there, it like can't change you. And if you let it impact you mentally, like, you've already lost, you know.

Like Sacramento, uh, the ball flies out of that stadium. Like, you can't think about those things when you're going, you know. You got to execute the pitch because if you execute the pitch, like, it's going to be really hard to run the ball out of the yard or change the game, you know. But if you're not executing pitches, you're getting behind in counts because you're a little tentative, um, that's when things start to really unravel on you. So So that's something that I've always done is like, you can't really let stadiums dictate how you're going to go out, guys. You're going to pitch to your strength. You know who you are and you're going to attack hitters' weaknesses. You know, and that's the game of baseball is always the game of baseball. You know, we're both playing on the same field. So everything should kind of even out.

Yeah. Dodger Stadium's cool. I think it's an underrated place. Like it's, we went once, actually our only story from Dodger Stadium is PFT and I got so high that we stood in a concession line without realizing we hadn't ordered for like 5 minutes. Like, we were standing, there was no line.

No, it was— I think it was the pickup order here line. Yeah, we were just standing there and then we're like, oh fuck, because the gummies were legal out there, we might have overdone it. And we were just stand— we were going to order ice cream and get it in a helmet, and we're just standing there like looking at the menu, probably about 15 minutes, just like giggling. And then we're like, oh shit, yeah, shit, we have an order. Yeah, cool stadium, really good stadium.

Yeah, it's— we, we enjoyed it.

Um, all right, they have cool—

they play, uh, You know, it's like the acoustics, like the— what's that thing called?

The organ?

Yeah, they play that there and they— and it feels kind of like old school baseball mixed kind of new school. And what I've always loved as a, you know, one there is all the speakers out in center are facing you. So it just like creates this great environment when things are going on. So yeah, I'm super excited to get there, you know, and be a part of it. And, you know, my next start is going to be at home on Monday. So I'm excited to get in front of my home fans and, you know, just get this thing rolling.

That'll be cool.

Have you met Magic Johnson yet?

Have not. Have not.

That's gonna be good.

Tell him we say what's up.

I will.

I will.

Appreciate that. I actually believe you because you are that type of guy that you would.

You guys know him? No.

Not at all.

I saw him one time. He's a part of—

Hey, the boys at PMT say what's up. You're gonna be like, what the hell?

Yeah, no, but dude, say that.

Say hi.

Okay, yeah, no, I got— I'll say, hey, the boys at PMT say what's up, they want to meet you, and see what happens.

Yeah, yeah. Um, all right, uh, Tarek has been awesome. We got one last question, Roback question. rhoback.com, promo code TAKE, 20% off your first purchase. Q-zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Roback.com, promo code TAKE. Zach, are you ready?

Yes, sir.

Why do you have eyeliner What's going on?

Uh, with the shoot yesterday, it was a lot of, uh, paint going on and I can't get it off.

Okay.

Okay.

I've tried everything.

Have you, have you tried crying?

I've no tears yet, but if it doesn't come off today, maybe there'll be some tears just because like I, it's gotta come off soon.

Yeah. I think that might be the last resort. Just, just, yeah.

Let me see that.

Wow.

Yeah.

What happened yesterday?

Uh, just a lot of face paint and they said it would come off and I believed them and I'm too trusting.

What were you face painting? What's going on?

Uh, this is a commercial.

Yeah, upcoming commercial.

Yeah.

Oh, okay. All right, I got you. Yeah, whatever, bro.

Yeah, I'm sorry you have to see me like this. Great to see you though, sir.

Take your glass off one more time, Zach.

Look at those beautiful eyes.

You look like you have beautiful eyes, man.

Yeah, you're too kind.

I appreciate that. Him, him, Kike, the two most attractive guys he's seen recently.

All right, Zach, go ahead, rip it.

I was curious, uh, with everything that's kind of transpired over the last couple days with the trade, uh, you know, multi-year big contract probably looming on the horizon, a lot of guys are saying that it probably will be the Dodgers when it's all said and done. If that is the case, early prediction, do you think you retire a Los Angeles Dodger?

Tough question.

Yeah, that's really in the future, you know. Um, yeah, I mean, I don't, I don't know what the future holds, you know. I don't know what's going to happen, you know, in November. Um, but I will say, you know, hopefully the next one is, you know, I get to play the rest of my career in one spot and be there. And, you know, whenever that contract ends, I'm, you know, I'll retire. So I, I hope that's a good answer, good enough answer for you. But, um, yeah, I have no idea.

Good answer.

Yeah, good answer. Very good answer. Do you have your follow-up?

A quick follow-up. You did speak a little bit earlier in the interview that you sometimes enjoy playing cards on the plane. I was wondering, what's your strongest card game?

Well, um, you know, I, I love Pluck. If you've played Pluck, if you know how to play Pluck, it's a fun 2v2 game. You know, it's kind of like spades, a little bit different. You know, that was kind of the game of choice in Detroit. Um, we'd always play Pluck for, you know, countless hours. Um, on this plane they don't play Pluck, so I'm learning how to play, uh, You know, I know how to play poker. I'm not very good at it, you know. I just, I don't know what beats what and kind of the math behind it, but I'm trying to learn it. So I've been watching a lot, um, and then they play like all these spin-offs of it, you know. And, uh, so I just need to learn poker and then I think I'll be comfortable playing, you know, every other card game that, that kind of goes our way. But, uh, Bourre is a fun game too. I like playing Bourre. That's a good game. That's a great game.

Yeah, it's a great game.

Um, Yeah, that's kind of, those are the games. And then you learn, I think you learn poker and then once you're comfortable enough with it, then you start, you know, kind of going after it.

Yeah.

Yeah. I need to learn that game and be more comfortable in it. So that way I know what I'm doing and I'm not holding my cards and, you know, checking pots when I should be clearly out. So I'm gonna, you know, my brain's kind of trying to do all that and learn the math, but that might take a little bit.

Getting tightened up.

All right.

Well, Tarek, you're the best, man. I'm not going to be rooting for you if you're playing the Cubs at any point,, but I still will be rooting for you. I, I, I'm okay with you going to the Dodgers because you, you're a good friend of the show and you're also a Hoss. You're a Hoss.

Thank you.

The Hoss is a dying breed in baseball. It is. It is a dying breed. So we need more Hosses.

It's ebbs and flows. There's ebbs and flows. You know, I think everything will kind of, maybe there's going to be in the future, there's going to be a lot of guys that are, you know, bigger and we'll see what happens. I think there's ebbs and flows in everything. Look at fashion. Look at— there's trends with everything. So I think, uh, there will be a resurgence of them for sure.

Good point.

What if we like had to put Tarek in like a, a preservation, like, land repopulate? Yeah, we're like, hey, we got to keep the Haas population alive, it's an endangered species.

We might send Zach out there with just a Q-tip to get a quick DNA swab when you're not looking.

Uh, I got my two boys and they seem to be they eat, man. So I'm like, you know, I'll see what happens.

Awesome.

I love that.

Yeah, you know, I'm gonna try and get the best, you know, the best out of them.

Yeah, keep them hungry.

I like it.

All right, Tarek, thanks so much, man. Appreciate it.

Tarek Scouble was brought to you by Twisted Tea. Summer's here and so is the Twisted Tea Summer Party Pack. Twisted Tea is a refreshing hard iced tea. It's made with real brewed tea and 5% alcohol. They also have a new Summer Party Pack with a brand new Twisted Lemonade, which is delicious. This. It's a refreshing hard lemonade made with real lemons. It's only available in the new party pack. Grab it while you can. Twisted Tea in their summer party pack is great. You can— there's no better drink for day drinking, I think, than Twisted Tea because you can drink a million of them. No carbonation, goes down smoothly. Have it on the course, have it at the bar. If you're on the lake, if you're at the beach, crack open an ice cold Twisted Tea. If you're drinking with friends, bring over the party pack. It's got that new Twisted Lemonade made. It's there to turn your day up a notch, make a good time a great time. Keep the good times going all day and all summer long. Keep it twisted. Get a refreshing Twisted Tea today. And now here's Kimberly Skelton.

Okay, we now welcome on a very, very special guest. It is Kimberly Skelton, the Director of Primate Care and Conservation at the Brookfield Zoo. And, uh, Kimberly's here because Brookfield has made a trade. We had a trade last week, 2 gorillas to Columbus, a 2-for-2 swap. So we are now, as a podcast— I don't know if you're familiar with us at all, but as a podcast we are trying to stay on top of all zoo trades that take place. We, we covered the Pittsburgh-Boston zoo trade that happened, uh, like 6 months ago. So let's start with this: what made you think that now was the right time to, to execute this trade?

Yeah, now is actually the perfect time. Our, our girls that are headed out, um, are of the perfect age to be starting their own families. And then the two girls that are coming in, um, are going to open opportunities for us to, uh, potentially have some baby gorillas hitting the ground in the next few years. So prime opportunity, especially with opening our brand new exhibit. And, uh, yeah, it's going to be great.

So you guys are making a play for the future where you are now going to potentially have some baby gorillas and and keep your team young going forward.

Yeah, you got it. You got it. We need to kind of keep things replenished and support the Species Survival Program and all their efforts.

Okay.

So, so one of the gorillas that was sent out and you can correct me because we're still very new to this, but I'm starting to wrap my head around it. You had Kamba and Nora. They were the two that were sent out, right? Kamba, 20 years old, Nora, 12. Kamba, excuse me, Kamba, 20 years old. Nora, 12 years old.

Lock in.

Uh, Nora, I'm hearing that it might have been a locker room move, that, that Nora was, uh, a distraction, that she needed to be shipped off to a different environment, one where she could thrive because she wasn't fitting in. And if you're not fitting out, you got to— or what LeBron say, if you're not fitting in, you got to start fitting out.

Yeah.

And so, uh, it was time for her to find her own locker room to move to.

Yeah, she was starting to make moves within, within her troop on like trying to be the boss and take over. Um, Kula— Kula is, uh, our matriarch or our dominant female and kind of runs the show. And, uh, Combo was starting— or excuse me, Nora was starting to, uh, to make moves to, to jostle for that position. And, and we want to support her in making the right moves, and that's just going to be at another zoo.

So what was—

what would—

what did that look like? Was she fight— like, and, and And what started it? Was like, uh, you know, one of them owed the other person money from a card game on a plane or something? Like, what happened where you're like, oh no, Nora's trying to go after—

uh, yeah, uh, it's, it's all pretty subtle. Like, they kind of do it on the down low. Like, Nora potentially tries to jostle for the, the best positions or, or for the best snacks and will kind of displace others and, um, push them around a little bit. She'll, she'll, uh, I don't want to say pick fights, but definitely challenge those that are in, in better resting positions or better, uh, snack positions. So, so she's, uh, she was ready. She's ready to, to, to have her own silverback that she can potentially boss around.

Okay, so, and then in terms of the Columbus Zoo gorillas that you guys are getting, how does the scouting process work? How do you— like, because, because you'd have to assume that you, you have an issue, you have a locker room issue, you're going to bring in 2 new gorillas. How do you know that those 2 new gorillas are going to fit in the matriarch system in the new locker room?

Yeah, there is— beyond like the amount of work that goes into it, like we get outside consultations on, um, essentially recruiters that, that play a part in this. Um, the Species Survival Program, the Gorilla SSP, essentially does personality evaluation, genetic evaluation, fit for travel evaluation, all sorts of things go into it, as well as the care staff that works at those facilities. So, um, they, they have the right to potentially reject a trade if they see fit, but most folks want to be in line with those, those SSP goals and, and kind of meeting, meeting the overarching mission of, of saving gorillas in the wild. So, um, and representing them properly in institutions like ours.

Yeah.

Have you ever had a trade rejected? Rejected by the league?

Uh, not with gorillas, but with some of the other primate species, you know, so some older individuals or, or, um, ones that may not necessarily be a good fit. But yeah, it happens.

What happens when, when the trade gets rejected and then you got to go back to that primate and be like, hey, I know we had you on the block, but you're staying with us now?

Like, we got to talk through it. Yeah, more planning goes back into the, the other side of it, essentially. Hopefully the, uh, all the, the great minds come back together and, and try to figure out a new path forward and, um, who would be our backup or, um, a good substitute, if you will.

It might be kind of awkward if you have a gorilla and you agree on a trade and then the gorilla— I don't know if they can fail a physical, but maybe a physical gets failed and they have to go back to the locker room, be like, hey, Max Krause, or whatever your gorilla's name is, has to come back, maybe not be so healthy. Like, do they, do they have to do a physical inspection, like a medical exam?

Yeah, you got it. Uh, we do, we do a, some sort of veterinary examination, like, and that could include all the way up to like CTs and heart scans and all sorts of stuff. So all that happens prior to any travel, um, and ensuring that they're the healthiest they can be for, for replace, um, new placement.

How often are you fielding calls or calling other zoos being like, hey, what do you got? What are you, what are you looking for? What it, who's on the market? Like, do you got any anything coming on the horizon, maybe like a year, 2 years out, like this gorilla, this, this monkey, whatever it may be? How often are you doing that?

Me?

Never.

Okay.

It all comes down from the SSP. And then they make the recommendations. And we, we, we say what we can do to help make the actions happen.

Wait, so it's coming from above?

So yeah, so, so Nora starts taking the best snack spot, the best sleeping spot, you then alert the SSP and be like, hey, Hey, we got an issue here. Can you figure it out? And then they start it.

Yep, you got it.

Ah, can you, can you like turn down the SSP? Have they ever made a request and you're like, we don't want to ship that gorilla out? It means too much.

Yeah, you can. Zoos have based on like, hey, we need this individual. They like keep everybody in line. Like it might be good for the breeding population, but it's not good for our individual individuals here. So like I said, a lot goes into it, like individual personalities, like group dynamics. Um, it, it is a massive chemistry experiment, um, trying to, to get all of the right gorillas in the right places. And, you know, that doesn't just happen for gorillas, it happens for essentially all of the animals, um, under the SSPs.

That's fascinating.

Have you, have you ever, uh, has there— has Brookfield ever done a trade where it's like 2 gorillas and a flamingo or like something like that where you add different species together in the trade?

Yeah, when, when we have like shipments and stuff like that, we try to coordinate to where we have like, okay, we're getting these animals from this zoo, let's try and get them all at the same time and do one transport.

Okay.

But they don't necessarily play into like the individual contracts that happen between the 2 zoos. Like they're all their own individual—

got it—

agreements.

But they'll package them together because that's what I'm looking for. Something like that where it's like, hey, I'll give you one gorilla, two seals and a baby giraffe. Yeah. And I want like the, the best lion you've got.

Just reload.

Yeah.

Get all the assets possible. Are there— you know, there's history between the two zoos, correct? Between Brookfield and Columbus. This isn't the first time that you guys have done business with each other in a transaction.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Any of the accredited zoos like the ACA accredited zoos, like we've done business with, um, probably multiple times a year in a lot of cases.

So would you ever trade for like a gorilla though? Maybe I misread. Is there a gorilla that's the patriarch that was born in the Columbus Zoo? Is that— or how does that work? Because I know that there's some like long-standing relationship there.

Yeah, so we have John 2. Uh, John 2 is our silverback. Um, I believe you if you tell me he came from Columbus. I got a lot of animals to keep track track of where they originally came from. So, but yeah, like we potentially brought him in from another zoo and kind of established him with all his ladies. So managing a group of females is a big task. 5 females is an extremely large group for a new silverback. So he's been doing great and he's about to get 2, well, Lea, 2 said goodbye and we're getting the 2 more. So it's going to be his job to help integrate those girls falls into, into the play of everything.

Yeah.

Do you ever trade, uh, within division? Like with the Lincoln Park Zoo, would you ever trade? Is it— is that too close where it's like, hey, we're competitors, we're not going to do this?

No, no, we're all pals. Like, we're all friendly about it. So, um, yeah, we definitely do all the trades with— it would be easier if I could do trades with Lincoln Park Zoo, to tell you truthfully.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just hop in a car, don't have to move. Yeah, right across town.

Right, right.

Like put a Ford kind of— that's that sort of thing. Don't have to pack up anything. So when it comes to a gorilla, like if there's a gorilla that is pregnant and we got some baby gorillas on the way, how do we figure where those gorillas are going to end up? When do they leave? Do they stay in the troop for a certain amount of time? How does that process work for you?

Yeah, Kamba and Nora were both born here at Brookfield Zoo Chicago.

Her—

their grandmother Binti is still in the troop. Of course, their mom Kula's in the group and what, they're 21 and 20 and 12 and they're just moving out for the first time. So they can stay a very long time, all depending on group dynamics and needs of the SSB. But yeah, typically I would say animals don't typically get moved around before 8 years old, but there's always exceptions, you know, if you need like a foster mom or something like that. Like there's individuals out there that play that role too.

Yeah, it's really a fascinating system, and we thank you for your time and helping to explain it to us because we're just, we're just starting to scratch the surface.

I think we're starting to—

the zoo trade industry, is there like one central location where all transactions are posted? I don't want to miss a single trade.

Yeah, yeah, uh, I don't know if there's like a single like place where it's posted. Everyone kind of like— because everything's happening happening all at once, right? Like, everyone's kind of got moves that are happening, and the SSP holds, holds the, the breeding and transfer plans, um, and they kind of make the recommendations and, and roll it out to the individual zoos. So I don't know if there's a, a single host location, but, uh, maybe your next reach out is like the gorilla SSP and seeing if they're, uh, willing to trade any trade secrets.

Yeah, yeah.

Um, now this might be a stupid— I have stupid questions actually for you. The first one is how much, how much school did you go to?

Yeah, I went and got my degree at Santa Fe College where I have a degree in zoo animal technology. I worked in the field for about 25 years. And then I went back to school and got my MBA to be able to kind of manage all of these pieces. So, so it is a business in a lot of ways and a lot of people management and knowing all of the different species. So it's complex. And I guess like a lot of school, but not a lot of school.

Yeah, no, a lot of school, a lot of, a lot of like work in the field. And then my second question, and I don't want, I don't want you to take any offense to this because I'm by nature going to play devil's advocate.

Do it.

Is there a chance that Punch the Monkey just sucked? Like he was just a bad vibe, bad hang monkey?

Yeah, he— it's possible. It's possible. I think it's, it's such a hard situation because like I'm not there to see all of the dynamics that go into it. But yeah, honestly, like monkey dynamics aren't like human dynamics. Like you have to like be able to stand up and like, you know, jostle for position. And an African monkey, I think in particular, or African and Asian monkeys are, are challenging societies where like you step out of line, you're gonna get corrected.

Okay.

Um, and unfortunately sometimes you learn those rules the hard way. So it's, it's hard for me to weigh in without having like his whole like species and individual profiles. But yeah, like he might have just been a challenging individual that didn't learn the rules the right way.

Okay.

If you walk around all day and you're like, I, I ran into 20 jerks again today, and it's day after day, you might be the jerk, right?

Yeah, right.

Never know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, some self-reflection.

Yeah.

Do you guys have, you know, when I'm thinking about like when you see other zoos have like big births, I just saw there was a zoo in Canada that got a pygmy hippo baby. It's the cutest thing ever. Mudang is so old news. The Lincoln Park Zoo got a baby rhino about like 3 months ago. Saw it. Incredible. Are you ever like, like, damn it, we need one of those. Like, what? Shit, we got to get it. We got to get up with the times.

Uh, actually, I'm more like, oh, I gotta go visit, I gotta go connect with somebody.

Okay, that's natural.

Yeah, that adorable baby. I, I feel like, right, I'm more cheering them on because ultimately, like, more, more numbers for gorillas, more numbers for pygmy hippos are good things because it, it just really supports their messaging and, and conservation efforts as well.

So, okay, fair.

Yeah, it's a valid answer.

It's a mature answer from you. I, I would, I would take a different route where I'd be like, goddamn it.

Yeah, you're the type of person I would want running a zoo that my family would go to. Not the other guy that's like, we need to fix this shit.

Well, let's take— I'm not looking to take anybody down.

Yeah, right. Yeah, well, I mean, in that vein, have you ever had a trade that has worked out really, really well for you? Like if you look at, you know, looking back 5, 10 years, you're like, we really won that trade.

Yeah, I honestly like one of the best, some of the best gorillas I have like right now are our to Silverback, our bachelor gorilla group. Like Barney and Shango, um, moved to us from Miami, um, and they are just wonderful. They're hilarious. They're like easygoing guys. Like, they are silly. They play a lot. Like, I think we— like, we didn't— we didn't trade anybody out for that, so it was just a win-win all the way around.

I love that.

That's a great—

I love that.

That's— those are the best type of trades. Um, all right, uh, we have one last question. Roback question. R-H-O-B-A-C-K. Rowback.com, promo code TAKE, 20% off your first purchase. Q-tips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. rowback.com, promo code TAKE. Zach, take us away with the last question.

How are we doing today, ma'am?

I'm good.

Yeah, that's awesome. I did have a quick question for you. As someone who professionally takes care of animals now as a zookeeper and a zoo enthusiast, do you find yourself at— in your home life, not to pry, do you still have pets, or is taking care of animals strictly business?

Good question.

Yeah, I have dogs. I feel like my house is not complete without dogs. I think historically I've had other pets, but, you know, I kind of, kind of happy with just dogs. Yeah, great.

So do you ever bring your dogs to the zoo, like off hours?

Not yet. I'm trying to get vet approval.

Okay.

To bring dogs to the zoo. But yeah, typically we don't allow pets on site.

Yeah, that would make sense.

Although on the other hand, Like, dog night at the zoo would be incredible.

Oh my God, just chaos.

We're seeing what the— yeah, that would be amazing.

Could be a problem, but could also be awesome.

It might also be the best night ever. Yeah, you never know.

Yeah, everyone's having a good time that day.

Yeah.

Um, all right, well, Kimberly, thank you so much for joining us, and, uh, we would love to have you back on next time you make a big trade. We're going to keep our, our ear to the, to the street and see who the next big trade is, where the next big trade is made in the zoo world.

Yeah, thanks for having me, and good luck on your, uh, adventures.

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Uh, favorite part, just being out there with people, out in the elements, you know what I mean? Real sense of camaraderie, real sense of community when everyone's there to listen to some great music and have a great time. W, take pick.

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Okay, let's finish up. We got Fire Fest of the Week. PFT.

Oh no, Hank. My Fire Fest of the Week is that my good friend Hank isn't here and I miss talking to him. I miss talking to him. He would have loved today's podcast.

Cast.

Yeah, we talked about Live, we talked about international football games. We did it all. My other Firefest this week is I've gotten into a new hobby recently. I've been playing a lot of chess. I used to play chess when I was like really little, then I just kind of didn't pick it up again until like 3 weeks ago. So I'm not good. I'm in fact bad at chess, but I've been playing a lot recently and I've noticed on chess.com. I am, uh, I've been getting my ass kicked recently by, uh, by some really attractive women. Mm-hmm. Because you have a profile picture, Zach, you know what I'm talking about?

Oh, certainly.

Yeah.

PNP.

I'm getting— so I get matched up with, with these opponents and they're sometimes from the United States, sometimes from England, sometimes from Germany, overseas somewhere. And, uh, recently it's been a lot of very attractive women. Taking mirror selfies that are just beating the shit out of me in chess nonstop. And then like asking me, like, then in the chat feature as they checkmate me, they're like, hey, check out my OnlyFans today. After they, after they kick my ass.

They're tainting the good game of chess.

Yeah.

Yeah. I don't know.

They're honeypotting you.

I don't know. Well, I haven't—

It's reverse.

Yeah. I haven't responded to a single one of them, but apparently the, the site's just crawling with beautiful women that are great at chess and also nude models.

Yeah.

So I don't know, I don't know what's going on, but it's, it's, it's very humbling. Just like every, every night I choose to log on and just get my teeth kicked in.

That's how you get better by babes.

That's how you get better left and right.

Yeah, that's quite the power dynamic too. They start off this transactional relationship of nudes, which is whooping your ass in chess.

Chess.

I think, where do you stand?

I think it attracts a certain type of guy, like a masochist, that would like, yeah, I want you to just stomp me out.

I want you to mentally torture me.

Just there, I guarantee you there's some sort of like madam or whatever you would call it where you, you would pay for her. You go over to her apartment and she wears like leather and lingerie and beats the shit out of you in chess and tells you how stupid you are, and then you have to leave afterwards. That's probably somebody.

Can't come till she says checkmate.

Yeah, there's probably some, some guys' kink out there. But yeah, I've been getting my ass kicked at it. I didn't realize that we had a lot of chess players in this office.

Oh yeah, T-Bob. Yeah, Titus.

I've been—

Zach.

It's—

yeah, me and Zach played a game of— Zach's first IRL chess game ever.

Yeah, you did get the better of me in that game. I look forward to possibly another one in the future.

We'll have a rematch. Yeah, I was, I was also thinking— we'll talk later. I've got a business, business-wise idea idea. Um, but yeah, if— so if you're a hot chick that is like medium good at chess, please stop beating the shit out of me.

I appreciate it.

It'd be good to get a W every now and again. That's fair.

Um, okay, so my Fire Fest, we alluded to it, the Akron, uh, football team. So if you missed it, I don't know how you have because it's gone very, very viral, but Akron has decided to run a promo where, uh, if you perch— every season ticket holder is put into a raffle, and then the raffle is going to be drawn, and the winner of that raffle is going to get to call the first offensive series against Robert Morris in Akron's first home game to start the season. Let's just get this out of the way. Robert Morris, if you would like to hire me as offensive coordinator, this is insane disrespect by Akron. Like, could you imagine just being Robert Morris? Like, we're so— we're so bad, teams are running giveaways where they can get coached by a fan.

I was thinking about that, and the— yeah, you're right. The only, the only option they would have is like, you have to do your own coaching search for your defensive coordinator.

Yeah.

And then I was thinking about Robert Morris and like, I guess how Akron, how they would prefer the first drive to go, because I don't think the worst case scenario is is you get some guy that wins the contest and the first play goes for a touchdown. That is worst-case scenario because anytime Akron has a drive that stalls out, yeah, anytime they, they lose a football game, the fans are just going to be like, they need to bring back the random dude that won the contest because he scored a touchdown.

I think one first-play touchdown, you could say, oh, that's a fluke play. I actually, I think the worst, worst way would be be like 3 to 4 plays, all chunk plays, you know what I mean? Because then it shows, it shows like versatility that you got. Like, you could, you could say one play, lucky play, but if it's like boom, boom, boom, it's like, you know, a minute and a half straight down the field, then you'd have exactly what you're saying.

I'm just saying that if there was one play that went for a deep play that went for 6, it's very easily clippable.

Memorable.

Yeah, very easily remember, like memorable to bring back up. But you're right, if the offense moves the football like it and has an easy time doing it—

yeah, run, pass, run, pass, like everything, everything's working for them.

Yeah, that would be tough to come back. I think the, the ideal drive would be like you get a couple first downs barely, like you a couple third down conversions, maybe a penalty for, uh, like pass interference. Yep, that gets you another one. And then you attempt a 45-yard field goal that misses. Yeah, that is the best case scenario for Akron. Akron as a whole.

Bregman, deep.

Yeah.

Run.

Yeah. If you're a— how do you feel about this? If you're Joe Moorhead, he's the coach of Akron.

Well, he— remember, he, he had his, his rise and fall already. So he's probably like, hey, I'm still—

I'm just—

I'm—

because remember, he went up to Mississippi State, he had the rise, and then it's just all kind of fallen down. So I think he's probably just happy he's coach.

He'd be okay. Like, yeah, I don't know.

But here's where my fire for us comes in. So I am a, uh, season ticket holder for Akron, the Akron Zips. 8 season tickets. I have 8 seats. Um, and now I'm just staring at it being like, should I buy more? It's essentially a 50-50 raffle where I'm just like, let me buy more. They're $75 a ticket. They're very cheap. We should try to go to a game.

It'd be fun. It's a genius idea in terms of marketing for them. But yeah, Robert Morris, cigarette-ass sound in college. You have to kind of run a counter-programming to this. Yeah, you have to. Or what about this? What if Robert Morris— what if their coaching staff— hear me out— they pull their money together and they buy like 100 tickets for Akron and then they get one of their guys installed as the head coach for this opening series of plays. That way they know exactly what they're going to run. Belichick would do that. Yeah. And then, and then pick 6, boom, Robert Morris on the map. Yeah. And then, and then also you bet on the result of the first drive to be— I was thinking about turnover return for a touchdown.

What happens if I actually won this? Which I don't think I'm gonna win it. It's, it's, you know, I probably have like an 8 in, I don't know, 30,000 chance. But I think people know I gamble.

I think there would be—

I just gotta take an oath being like, I will not.

There would be some questions.

I would not, by the way. I want it on the record, I would not gamble on my first drive because I, I would want to— I want— are you buying one right now, Max?

Yes.

I mean, this would be so fun. So yeah, it's, it's, uh, it's a cool promo. Also, I got interviewed from— by Front Office Sports. Shout out the, uh, the, the reporter. I think it was Ellen Briggs was her name. She is clearly a spy for Robert Morris because one of the questions she asked me was, what plays would you run if you won? I was like, nice try. Like, nah, nah, nah, nah.

Keep it close to the—

you know where I ain't answering.

You know where it is?

Robert Morris. Pittsburgh.

I think so. It's in Pennsylvania somewhere. Turns out there was also a Robert—

it is Pittsburgh.

There was Robert Morris College that was in Chicago until like 3 years. Yeah.

Yeah, that was— yeah, that was up the street.

All right, Zach, my favorite this week is, uh, you know, we do a lot of fun stuff around the office every once in a while, actually pretty much every day, great days. But, uh, so we had an opportunity yesterday, do some more fun stuff, just involved heavy, like, face paint. So I got painted up yesterday.

Mm-hmm.

That was— that was cool.

That was—

that was awesome. They said, yeah, just use this, these chemical wipes or some of the solution, it'll all come off. Off. I was able to get most of it off, but then I was left with an outstanding amount of eyeliner for the rest of the day. Uh, I then had to walk home with the eyeliner on, which is pretty uncomfortable. Uh, no shade to anyone who enjoys wearing eyeliner, it's just that's not usually in my bag. Uh, say hello to the woman at the front desk, she kind of looked at me weird. I'm in the elevator, it's like you got it down, goth side to you. Yes, I— and it was an outstanding amount, like I've never felt like physical— mental depression because of my physical appearance, but I saw the eyeliner on FaceTime. My brother, he instantly screenshot. He's a bad guy for that, not cool. And yeah, so I think I've done chemical damage to my eyes after trying every soap solution in the book to get it off, and I still sit in front of you guys today just looking out of place.

It will come off.

This is kind of like after the case races on the Jack, this happens where you wake up the next day and you're like, I have eyeliner because you can't get all the paint off. It will happen.

Or maybe you have a chunk of hair missing.

Yeah, that would be best case.

That saved your—

that did, because it got caught.

It saved your life. Yeah, I saved your life. I saved your life when I cut it.

Yeah, my hair— I had a full head of hair. Yeah, no bald spot at all until Big Cat forced me to drink a bunch of beer and then cut off and then jammed my hair into a leaf blower.

My plan worked perfectly.

Yeah, credit.

Zach, I think you're beautiful no matter how you want to express it. And if you want to tell us anything else right now, we are more than open. And you should be yourself.

I got nothing but kind things to say about the male makeup community. That's just not currently or probably will ever be in my bag.

Okay, okay. This was just— are you listening to a lot of The Cure?

This sassy face makeup is— was a business move only. Openly.

And then Max, we're looking at purses before.

Oh, Zach, Big Cat, think about what the world you could open for this podcast if you were openly gay and we could make jokes.

I mean, you could still make those jokes.

I just don't know. There's definitely some jokes.

I don't have to wear the eyeliner though. Yeah, you know.

Okay, right.

But just think, but if you are gay, like, that's cool.

Yeah, shout out to the gays. Yeah, shout out to June. Yeah, wJune. Yeah, no hate to the gays. Yeah, shout out to the trans. Y'all doing your thing. Yeah, do your thing. Okay, not— no, probably not me.

Not you. Okay, but the eyeliner makes—

yeah, I walked— when I was walking home yesterday, I felt incredibly gay. It was terrible. I'll say it, I'll say it. I, I was walking down the sidewalk, I caught my reflection, and I was like, all right, well, shout out to the gays, but I look like a fat gay dude right now.

And it was a bad look.

Yeah.

And then everyone I tried to call for solutions, you looked like a bear. Instead of a solution screenshot, and they just started going, oh, you FaceTime people? I was trying to figure out how to get it off, so I'm calling my mom. I'm like, all right, what's one woman that I won't make a joke out of this. Call mom, giggling her ass off. Oh, I'm like, all right, who has a girlfriend? Who's got wives? Call my little brother, he's got a girlfriend, she does makeup routines and stuff like that. Call him, instantly hits me with the screenshot, and then he just starts singing emo music into the phone. And then I'm like, all right, my friend Gabe, he's got a significant other, I'm gonna call him. She picks up the phone, she goes, did you try Q-tips? And I'm just like, you think I'd be on the sidewalk in full, full depression face paint if I didn't try Q-tips?

Hips. Oh man, can you take off your sunglasses or your glasses real quick?

Look to your left.

Look to your left.

Oh my God.

Oh, I think it looks good.

It looks good.

I think it looks good.

You look great. Good show, boys.

Good show.

Two numbers. I love Sacks, a little frustration right there.

I woke up this morning, I was confused.

I'm gonna go 0.

Oh, I got 23.

3.

I'll go 7.

Jalen Brown, good number.

18.

69.

69 for Cole.

69 for Cole. Also, I've officially bought 2 tickets, so now you're in. So now I'm in.

You can't say your number again.

31.

28.

Think of how pissed would you be if I got it.

No, I— you just have to hire me on your staff. Okay, deal, deal, dude. I'll bring a staff. If I win, I'm bringing all the— there we go. 31. Who picked 31?

Shane.

Shane, go Shane! Way to go, Shane! Bolt up, bolt up, dude! Go Bills!

Bolt Do you have a statement?

Shout out Adley. That was—

that was—

that's his new number.

Oh, ah, you went Red Sox. There you go. Also, I don't know if you guys saw the, uh, the very sad story about the trade. He was hanging out with the boys when it went down. They're all gonna see Spider-Man 3, or Spider-Man whatever it's called.

Only doing one today? Yeah, I think if you win you get— it's one. Yeah, yeah, I don't think you would do that. Yeah, we just make up shit during this.

I think that's fair.

I think it's fair.

Adley Rutschman, Colton Kauser, Ryan Mountcastle, and Gunnar Henderson were about to see Spider-Man: Brand New Day in theaters when the catcher received the call that he had been traded. They didn't end up seeing the movie. Obviously, it was pretty emotional.

That's brutal.

So they, they, at some point, one of those guys has to be like, so are we gonna, like, we're here.

Yeah.

Like, you would want us to go see this movie, right?

Yeah. You just can't go see a movie movie on trade deadline day.

Just, yeah, that's bad planning.

Yeah.

Bad planning. Bad planning. Um, big day for birthdays. Happy birthday to, uh, Tommy DeVito, Cold Cuts.

Nice.

Happy birthday, Jalen Hurts. Happy birthday to Mike Trout. Happy birthday to Sidney Crosby. Uh, and then Saturday, happy birthday to Anthony Rizzo. Happy birthday to A.J. Wilson. Happy birthday to Pierre Garçon and happy birthday to Steady. Happy tails.

Steady, steady, steady, steady.

All right, have a birthday, Zach.

Happy birthday, Zach.

Also, I forgot, Max, I sent you an email. Open it up because we got a little present for our boy Zach. It is his birthday on Friday.

Wait, so Zach, you're still going to have the eyeliner on your birthday?

That would be a bummer. That'd be a bummer.

Oh, Zach. Let's see.

Oh, it's the GM of, uh, of the Bucks there, Zach.

Oh, okay.

Zach, look at me. Today is a massive day. You are one year older. The haters hated you, man. They said your body would reject the Chicago lifestyle. Wow, they said you wouldn't survive the first 3 weeks of local fast food, but look at you now. You're a veteran. You're in the trenches. And yeah, the other day you forgot to have— how to spell plane. You spelled it like a geometric surface. P-L-A-N-E. No, this is a football We don't fly on geometric planes. We fly on aircraft. But you know what? Winners don't need a dictionary. Today we don't look back. Today we go out there, we blow out those candles and win the day. Happy birthday, brother. Go Bucks!

Go Bucks!

That was awesome.

That was awesome.

Both up.

Yeah, there we go.

Go Bucks!

Happy birthday, Zach. How old are you?

29.

Okay.

That's way too long.

The years blend together. Post-pandemic, everything's one big year.

Yeah, that's true.

It's true.

Also, it's all one big year.

PFT didn't actually remember this birthday.

Jacob told him yesterday.

Yeah, Jacob, fuck you, Jacob.

Fuck this.

Like, you fucked up so bad, dude.

That's actually not true at all. I have a list and Zach's name is on the list. I'm really sorry.

The list has missed a lot of people then.

I'm really sorry.

Bad list.

My ass.

Jacob, I didn't mean to ruin a bit. I just wanted Zach to have a happy birthday and I didn't want to—

You would have had a happy birthday whether this—

I, and I realize that now.

This would have made— Yeah, I realize, I realize.

Welcome to the fucking show, man.

Memes, if you look at this list here, not only is Zach on there, but he is in bold, so I don't miss it on Friday. You got timestamps? On what?

On that list.

List.

Yeah, I'll never say anything again.

I promise.

Last Saturday at 9:12 AM in the morning. Zach in bold. Friday, 8/7. Happy birthday, Zach. Appreciate that. You tried to turn Zach's birthday into a sideshow of me getting something wrong. That's sad memes. Rent free.

That's no, that's not the sideshow. That's a full show.

Rent free. Rent free. Rent free. Love you guys.