Transcript of Indiana HC Curt Cignetti, UCLA HC Bob Chesney, CFB With Joel Klatt, Mt Rushmore Of Buttons To Press + Fyre Fest

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Stella Blue Coffee is more than just great coffee, it's coffee with a purpose. Introducing We Brew to Rescue, a nationwide campaign using proceeds from our new ready-to-drink cans to help fund 1,000 pet adoptions this year. Every can you crack open helps a real pet find a real home. Simple as that. Made with 100% Colombian coffee, each 11-ounce can delivers smooth, drinkable energy with a boost of protein. Available in Espresso Cafe Mocha and Espresso Sweet Cream. Built for mornings, long days, and everything in between. Drink Stella Blue, fuel your day, and help save a pet's life. You can follow our progress in real time throughout the campaign by watching the adoption tracker on our site. Grab yours now at stellabluecoffee.com, Amazon, and select retailers nationwide. On today's part of my take presented by DraftKings, Football Is Back Week continues. I— we're just dubbing it Football Is Back Week because we've got some more interviews from Big Ten Media Week. We have Coach Sieg winner. We have Coach Bob Chesney from UCLA, awesome guy, awesome interview.

We also might have a new, uh, white whale guest off of that Bob Chesney interview. And then we got our good friend Joel Klatt doing a little preview of college football, always great to talk to Joel. We're gonna do the Mount Rushmore of buttons to press. We have, uh, some training camp news. Tarik Scouble is going to probably get traded. And we have Fyre Fest. It's going to be a great Friday show for you, and it's brought to you by our friends at Chevy. Summer's in full swing. That means no schedules, no plans, just more the good stuff. Chevy Silverado makes that possible. There's a reason Chevy's called the heartbeat of America, and the Silverado keeps that heartbeat strong. These trucks work hard so you can chill harder, whether that's getting out of town, heading to the lake, or just not turning around when you probably should. It's got the capability the space and the muscle, everything you need for proper summer coolers, gear, whatever your version of chill looks like. Because at the end of the day, Silverado helps you tackle more of what you love. And let's be honest, you've earned this summer.

Now it's time to go get it. So roll the windows down, turn the music up, and just listen. That's the heartbeat of America. That's today's Chevrolet. Head over to chevy.com to learn more today. That's chevy.com. Okay, let's go. Welcome to Pardon My Take, presented by DraftKings. The crown is yours. Today is Friday, July 31st. And football is back again. Hank, are you getting to the point where you're sick of us saying football is back? This is the last— we're about to enter the month where football is actually truly 100%.

It's not like— I'm down for the excitement though. I wish it was actually back, but I'm ready for it to be back.

But there's practices everywhere. Every team is back.

Yeah. And there's practice. There's fights everywhere.

That's football. Football is back officially.

Yeah, yeah.

Get used to it. It's not going anywhere.

No, it's here to stay for at least 6 or 7 months.

That's good.

Football's all the way back. Yeah, we have some awesome interviews. We finally got to interview Coach Sieg from Indiana, and we didn't bring this up in the interview, but we should just say it now. Coach Sieg, all-time mental warfare guy. Yes, because his handshake was beyond a dead fish, and I think he did it on purpose, and he threw us all off, and he's the man.

First thing I said, how do you describe— come here, come here, I'll show you.

It was like— but for the podcast, yeah, it would be like if I handed you, uh, uh, like some wet noodles. You had to hold some wet noodles, but uncomfortable.

It was like— but I think it might be a tactic.

I think he did it on purpose.

There's nothing worse if you shake a guy's hand and he's clearly trying really hard to grip you strong because he's like, he's been taught you have to really break a man's hand and then they'll respect you. That's, that's a weird feeling because it's like, I know what you're doing. And he just goes, he just doesn't give a fuck.

It's, it's something because it definitely gets you off your game a little bit. And I'll say this about Coach Sagan. We have Bob Chesney on as well. Awesome interview. We have actually a couple more coaches coming Monday. Coach Sagan, the kids love to talk about aura. And for store. Coach Sig has aura, but it's genuine aura where it's like, oh shit, this guy, he's got it. Like, it's just something about him. You just, you just pick it up right away.

Just always winner.

He's a winner.

Google him.

He wins.

Look him up.

But yeah, we have, I got to be honest.

I'm shocked that neither of you, you both felt so strong with the handshake.

Neither of you said anything to him because it was like it knocked me off kilter. But then I thought, because we shook his hand right when he first came in. Then he sits down, we do the interview, and I was kind of like chalking that off because he, he was moving around the room a little bit and he's being rushed in and out of rooms at Big Ten Media Week. And so it was kind of like a blow-by. I chalked up to being like a blow-by handshake. Sits down, we have a great interview. Then he gets up to leave and another like a goodbye handshake where we're both locked in on it. Same thing happened. And then I was just like, yo, I can't believe that that's actually Six's handshake. That's crazy. But like, it threw me off.

I also wanted to confirm because everyone has bad handshakes.

Dick Dase.

I wanted to confirm that this was maybe just a tactic he uses all the time, and I did confirm it with, uh, maybe someone that works with us who played for Indiana. Who that may be, we don't know.

White boy Rick.

Yeah, but, uh, it was, it was great. It was great finally meeting him. And he, he was a little bit pressed for time because the Big Ten media was here in Chicago. That's why we did these interviews. It's great to actually meet some of these guys. And, uh, so we had about 15 maybe 20 minutes with him. Chesney was a little longer. I'll just say it, we have Matt Rule and Dan Lanning coming on Monday. Uh, but it was awesome. It was a— this week was like a bonus content week where I don't think we—

we—

it was maybe a week and a half ago, we're like, oh shit, all 18, uh, Big Ten coaches are going to be 3 miles from our office. Maybe we should do something. And we put it together. And thanks to the Big Ten for giving us a, uh, wonderful room to do these interviews.

Yeah, it was great. It was great.

We did—

we reached out to them like probably 9 days ago and they're like, yeah, we do have one last room available. So we were in a coat closet, which is fine.

We honestly respect because like they didn't have a room available.

Yeah, they made—

they just gave me some coats. Yeah.

And then Hank came in the first day and he was like, this room is so small. I definitely don't have to be here for the rest of the interviews.

Big Cat said that.

I did. Well, I knew you did.

I mean, you didn't.

You did. Yeah, to be there. The— it was— but I kind of like it when that happens because we've been doing this for so long and, you know, we have been the number one sports podcast for a long time. But I like when, when we, when we get the grit factor and they're like, hey, here's this room that is maybe, maybe a walk-in closet size, maybe. It's like not even the— I don't even think it's a coat closet room. I think it's like the overflow coat closet. Closet room.

Well, the door's cut in half so you can open up just the top of it. That's if you're taking tickets for the coach and passing those back down.

That's it right there.

So it's definitely meant to be like some sort of service door, which is fine. I thought, I thought it was a great— it ended up being a really good room for us. And then just going through the list of Big Ten coaches, I'll say this. The SEC used to have the crown as being like the most entertaining coaches in college football. I think that's pretty clearly in the Big Ten right now. The SEC has got some great coaches, big personalities. But if you go like Guy for guy, against the Big Ten, the Big Ten clears.

Yeah, it's, it's quite a conference. It's— I still, I still can't really wrap my head around 18 teams. It still feels real. I mean, they did the media day. It was 3 days long. Like, it wasn't a media day. It was a media week.

Are they ever going to change the name?

No, you can't. I mean, they could. I mean, we have this point.

You can't.

We haven't been 10 in forever.

Yeah. At this point, you can't. It would be like— it'd be completely logical if you did it in the first year. No, probably in the second year would still make sense. But after you get to like Year 3 of being more than 10 teams, you just got, you got to roll with it.

But yeah, we have been, we haven't been 10 since like the '90s. I think Penn State was what, what changed it from 10 to 12.

What if they sell it to an advertiser? What? It just becomes like a league that's sponsored instead of Big Ten.

Yeah, the Dr Pepper Ten. It's not for women.

The Dr Pepper Ten. Okay, so what do we got? I have a couple stories that maybe we can do a little national sports podcast, uh, whip around. Let's start with Zach. Zach, we touched on this on Wednesday. Baker Mayfield, uh, took the podium today and he said it's very disappointing to not have a new contract. He's feeling disrespected and undervalued. Now, I agree with Baker Mayfield. He should have a new contract. Is this a ploy by the Bucs to create a pissed-off Baker Mayfield, which we all know is a pissed-off Baker Mayfield is the strongest form of Baker Mayfield.

Do we think the Bucs are trying to put a battery in his back? No, because I think if he— if they were to do that and then he has a phenomenal season, it's like, pay me more money than what I was asking for previously.

Yeah.

Or your pockets.

And he could have a great season and be like, you know what, you guys disrespected me, I'm going somewhere else.

Disrespected and undervalued, I'm out. Which would hurt.

That would hurt.

Not the best video you want to see.

What do you think about if there was a secret contract? So if he— like, the agent was speaking with the GM of the Bucs, great guy, and was like, hey, here's Baker's terms, here's what he wants. And Jason Light was like, yes, we agree. However, the only caveat is you can't tell Baker that we did a contract. You have to tell him that we lowballed him.

Conservatorship contract.

Yeah. Tell him that we lowballed him and the money's all going to go to him and he'll be motivated. And just at the end of the season, he'll know that we paid him.

Mm-hmm.

That's what I would do if I was in that space. Unorthodox. Yes, but effective.

Yeah.

The worst game plan.

Maybe try it.

Yeah. We're in a bad spot.

Might be what you're trying.

You do have to pay Baker.

The vibes feel very bad.

They don't feel good.

Yeah.

Like it doesn't feel like competitive. It'll give them like a competitive edge. You said it won't leak into the locker room, but I mean, they're all adults here. It's their job. I feel like it could very well leak into the locker room.

Is that— and Vita wants a trade.

Yeah.

Like bad vibes to start. These are not the two things that you want to hear to start.

Heart and soul of defense is like, I'm out too. So yeah, yeah, week one's going to— we'll see. It's so early, you know what I mean?

Yeah. And then the Bengals got into a fight. Ja'Marr Chase was throwing— I actually didn't see any punches thrown, which is good. It's smart. And then afterwards, Joe Burrow was like, yeah, I kind of actually respect what— excuse me, not Ja'Marr, one, one, number one's doing out there. Number one, you know, you got to have a kind of like a dog's mentality. And then he referred to zero. He's only calling guys by numbers in Cincinnati.

I like that.

It feels like there's a little bit of back against the wall. Going on.

Yeah.

With the Bengals right now, which I like.

We also had Tony Romo's arrest video hit the internet.

Yep.

I listen, don't drink and drive. We've established that.

Or drink and operate.

Or operate.

Bad.

You put everyone's life at risk. I watched that video. I was like, he seems okay.

I don't know.

He also, when he started stretching, was like, was like laughing out loud so hard. It was, it's so objectively funny.

He's firing up the hips. Yeah, I thought he was going to run a 40 at one point. He got into a stance. I also— the moment that he— they asked him if he had any head injuries, and you could see his, like, brain flash back to, like, all the times he was just, like, put into the dirt and just fucked up. He's like, yeah, I've had a few concussions.

Yeah, the— he should have done the Dak Prescott with the hips, like, gotten those ready to walk the line. But yeah, I mean, I walked away from it. I looked at the video. He said, I'm going to see Grandma and Grandpa, which I don't think he's talking about his grandparents.

No, there was some kind of like a gotcha.

Like they like went obituary hunting and they're like, yeah, according to the obituaries, all 4 of Tony Romo's grandparents are dead.

He was referring to Grandma and Grandpa like his parents.

Well, he was— I think he was going to pick up his kids at his parents, so they were then referred to as Grandma and Grandpa. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, if you're picking up your— if your kids are with your parents, you would— you sometimes refer to them that way.

Yeah. He's like, I'm going to go see Nana and Papa.

Yeah.

Like, wait a second, Tony. Oh my God. Passed away 30 years ago.

Tony also would have been a nice sneaky good move by Tony Roma. Like, you know, in high school or middle school, you do the move where it's like you just have like 15 grandparents die so you can get a day off school.

Yeah.

She's like, oh yeah, my grandparents died again.

That if that is your excuse, I think then you are allowed to drink and drive in Wisconsin.

I mean, Wisconsin, it's a different place.

Wisconsin is going to put in like a special lane, like in the middle of a high occupancy. It's just like high, high alcohol content lane. Different drive at your own risk.

But yeah, the video of him stretching was, was quite something.

It was good.

He looked like he was getting loose. He was, he was getting ready.

I'm not a lawyer. I am studying for the bar exam, but I do feel like he's probably going to get off on this. I'd be, I'd be shocked if the charges stuck to Tony Romo.

The question is, does CBS— and I don't know where CBS stands with Tony Romo— but do they use this if they, if they do in fact are, if they do have buyer's remorse on his contract, do they use this as a catalyst to say, hey, we're going in a different direction?

If the video was bad, I think, yeah, yeah, I think they use it as training. Like the next guy that they sign. It's like, hey, here's how you're expected to conduct yourself as an employee of CBS Sports.

If you're ever pulled over for drunk driving, make sure that you activate your glutes.

Yes, exactly.

For any type of test.

It's like Tony Romo does this. Oh, you're so sweet. Mark Sanchez does this. Hello, Human Resources.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, it is funny also to think about Tony Romo sitting in his car and the police officer was like, no, you cannot call your lawyer. We're taking you in. Meanwhile, Tiger Woods flips his SUV. He's just talking to the president in the woods. He's just walking around the woods being like, just talking to the president.

I think Tiger's car probably had that, like, instead of OnStar.

Yeah.

If it flips, it just dials Trump's cell phone.

Yeah. OK, other, other stories. So Tarik Skubal is going to get traded. The question is where?

Dodgers.

Dodgers, I think, actually. Who, who released Tarik Skubal? Because I saw there was like a 5 teams and the Cubs weren't on it, which pissed me off. But yeah, his, his— so he, he, in his last start, maybe his last start for the Tigers, he leaves the game up 7-1, then they lose in like 12 innings, uh, blow that lead. I think his catcher got DFA'd, so that's a pretty good sign to, yeah, to say that he's gonna not be on the Tigers. I saw the list. Yeah, so it was Dodgers, I think the Brewers are on it, which would be— that would be an interesting move because Brewers are not known for that type of stuff. Maybe the CeCe Sabathia trade, like we're like going all in. Braves, Cubs, Rays, and Yankees. I want him on the Cubs so bad.

That'd be great.

So, so fucking bad.

I just feel like any good player will become a Dodger unless we hear otherwise.

Yeah. Well, it's even if he's not a Dodger this trade deadline, he's going to be a Dodger. After the year. Yeah, that all roads lead to Dodger.

What are they saying that the expected price is going to be for Schubel?

A lot.

And so in terms of contract, no, in terms of to get him because it's just for the end of this year, right?

Yeah.

There's no— or he's a free agent at the end of this season.

Yes.

So what is it? What's the price for a rental for Schubel? Rental?

I think it's going to be like a couple prospects and probably a big league player. Like it's going to be a lot.

Brewers, it kind of sounds like the C.C. Sabathia.

Well, I mean, the Brewers have a loaded farm. I mean, the Brewers never lose and they just, they just shit out like good players.

So that'd be fun.

No, I would not have fun.

Cubs would be fun too.

The Brewers would not be a fun thing. Brewers are already, they win every game anyway.

So kind of a fun team though.

Yeah. But it is. Yeah, it would be very similar to the, to C.C. Sabathia. All right. Let me do DraftKings real quick. Then I have a couple other national sports podcast topics we can we can chew on for a second before we do Mount Rushmore. DraftKings this summer, where whatever you're watching— baseball, golf, soccer, racing— DraftKings has you covered for every single moment of it. The DraftKings Sports app is now available in all 50 states, bringing the game straight to your fingertips wherever you are. From Florida to Texas to California, you're in on the excitement at the speed of sports. Follow every buzzer beater, every walk-off, every photo finish. Sweat the moments that matter in real time with a seamless experience built for the biggest season of the year. No matter where you're watching, you're always connected and in the game with one app. New DraftKings customers sign up with code TAKE, spend $5 to get $150 in rewards within 14 days. Includes all markets. That's code TAKE in partnership with DraftKings. The crown is yours. Bet with DK Sportsbook. Gambling problem?

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Limited time offer. Speaking of DraftKings, Hank, do you have the leaderboard for the golf tournament that's going on right now?

Yeah.

The Rocket. Can you look up— I did something on DraftKings a couple days ago that might be stupid. I placed a bet for $500 to win half a million on— can you guess what it might be on?

Brad Dahlke.

Correct. Why not? Why not Brad?

He's got to win.

Yeah.

Why not? I saw him win the Invitational last year.

Yeah.

No, he's a fucking stud.

Yeah.

Is he?

Is he already?

I'm looking at the— oh, I know he hasn't teed off.

Okay, good.

I was, I was, I was scrolling.

But still alive. So still alive.

Is the competition are they better or worse than Francis? Uh, depends.

Depends on the day. Yeah, slightly better.

Okay, yeah, on the day, that's fair.

Depends on the day. Yeah, I just saw it and I was like, I know that name and this number is so crazy.

What's the field like? Is it a stacked field?

I mean, it's pretty stacked.

There's some good players there. Yeah, fuck.

I mean, like, it's not, not Scottie and Rory, I don't think.

But by the way, shout out Wyndham Clark. Did you guys see Wyndham Clark's first pitch? No, it was Nasty.

Pull it up.

Where was it?

Tigers game.

He—

it was a really nice— like, rarely do you see— you'll see guys throw a nice first pitch like, oh, okay, he did. He kind of— he had some heat and it was painted.

Oh yeah.

Yeah.

Look at that.

That's the dream.

That's a great first pitch, Max, is it not?

Yeah. No, I would— I would kill for that first pitch.

Yeah.

Oh, he hit the corner perfectly.

Ducky is tied for 41st right now.

All right. All right.

Because he has a tee time.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We're good.

Listen, we got a little bit of striking distance.

There's some names in this tournament.

Brad Dahlke is one of them.

Correct.

He is one of the names in the tournament.

What are some other names?

We got Paige Schaufele, Frankie Pirelli.

We got Schaufele, Ricky Fowler.

Nadeshot.

No, the Duke.

Si Woo Kim.

Oh, can't wait to get back with the boys.

Windham, Ryan Ruffles.

I mean, would it be— it would probably be one of the most shocking results in sports.

Yeah, if you won.

Yeah.

Has he played any other tournaments this year?

Uh, Speed, he's played like a couple DP World Tour tournaments.

How'd he do?

He made the cut in one of them. I mean, if he like— winning would be shocking. I think he could make a cut and do decently.

What if he just won?

But if he won, that would be—

I'm doing it too.

Oh yeah, right. I mean, I don't—

I can't—

we have to at least—

I can't endorse something.

$5.

Yeah. Every day they put the words gamble responsibly underneath our faces.

$5, $5,000.

It's a little—

it's a little baby unit.

I don't think I'm allowed to bet on— it's kind of like the WNBA rules. As somebody that's going to be competing against them, I don't think I'm allowed to put money on them.

Yeah. Okay. Other stories. Did you have any PFTs? I have another one that, that I mean, we're—

yeah, we got a quarterback battle. Oh, we got to keep people updated on the quarterback battle.

Okay.

So is it going to be our good friend Deshaun Watson or is it going to be Sha'Dor Sanders in Cleveland? Because the way that, that their coaching staff is putting it is like, we don't know. The players are going to have to be the ones that tell us.

It's—

I think, I think they said it's not up to the coaches to make that decision. It's up to the players to make that decision. For us who the, who the leader is going to be. And then somebody asked Jerry Judy on the live stream who it was, and then he just held up 4 fingers.

That's Deshaun.

That's Deshaun. Yeah, it sounds like Deshaun might be coming back.

Or is it Mr. Fourth Quarter, Shador Sanders?

That's a valid point. I don't know. I, I didn't think about that one, but I— the funniest possible circumstance would be if it was Deshaun and he plays really, really well, and then the Browns give him another contract.

Yeah. That would be like, oh yeah, we actually are committed to you long term.

That might be the funniest possible. I hope it doesn't happen for my Cleveland people out there. You guys have suffered long enough, but you have to admit, like, you'd be— if you're going to lose, you might as well be hilarious. And that would be the funniest way.

Yeah. OK, the other, the other golf news that we forgot to talk about. Hank.

Yeah.

Congratulations.

On what?

LIV.

Would you like to apologize?

No. Why?

Because I don't want to.

You should. You should apologize.

No, I will not.

Live is not dead.

It is on life support. Potentially, potentially not dead. So what happened, Hank?

Uh, they are not signed. That's the one thing I don't want. You know, we've maybe called it too early with it being dead. We might be calling it too early with it being back. There is reports that they have gotten a $250 million investment to be able to put on future events.

From who?

It's undisclosed.

And how many future events?

It might be Aramco. Yeah, Aramco. They make good oil.

Well, I don't know.

They would— um, obviously they would have to restructure everything. Like, it could be less events.

No, they're not good at restructuring.

No, they should just go back to 3 rounds and shorts.

Yeah.

Wait, so $250 million doesn't feel like it would keep the league going for very long unless it's like the league just becomes a hole-in-one stream or something.

Well, that's like half of— that's like half of Phil's contract.

Yeah.

Well, that's all of Jon Rahm.

The funny thing is like, yeah, that's the thing.

The players.

Yeah.

I don't know who would stick around with Liz, like the teams, the IP of the teams, the Four Aces. Like there will be Four Aces. Dustin Johnson might not be one of them. Like they just might have might be like, you know, like the Corn Fairy guys just are now Live guys.

Smash GC. Bryson was saying like, that's one of the—

that's— she's gone. Come on.

Is that Bryson?

They're the Oklahoma— they're the Oklahoma Golf Club now.

But, but Bryson was on the— on Smash GC, right?

No.

Was he on Brooks?

Bryson's the Crushers.

Oh, my bad.

Crusher's still going.

Brooks was the Crushers.

Okay. So Bryson was saying, though, that when it came to the Crushers, the IP and the Crushers, that's worth at least $500 million for him.

Yeah.

So he'll be okay. I'm just thinking that if you're, if you're on the LIV Tour and you've been on the LIV Tour, the players get accustomed to a certain lifestyle.

Mm-hmm.

Over the years, they get, you know, first-class flights, great spread, nice meals, great transportation.

No cuts.

No cuts. Are they going to be running this on like a shoestring budget? Because you might lose some of the players that way.

Definitely.

Yeah.

I mean, there's Saudi money and then like a regular investment. It's different, different companies, different worlds.

Yeah.

I was so—

congrats.

Yeah.

Thank you.

You're going to take the congrats.

What?

Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, you said it was dead, so if you're going to say it's dead, then you—

you know, I still think it's dead.

I think you should apologize.

I'm not going to. So we're at a standoff. But you took the— you— I'm not apologizing for saying it's dead, but you're taking the congrats for being alive. Yeah.

Interesting.

Yeah, but it's not alive yet.

It's more alive today than it was the last show.

Is it more dead or alive? Alive. I disagree.

It's a zombie.

I think it's dead.

Zombie live.

I think it's far more dead. It's critical condition.

Okay. Okay. So a lot does it— is there a picture of it?

Maybe it's in a coma, but like, it's Kyle Shanahan stable with this, with his red button-down. Did you guys see WGN?

Yeah. His older Asian wife.

Yes. Accidentally used that meme.

Yeah.

Pretty funny. So yeah, I just think, Hank, $250 million, they're going to need— maybe it's just the start. Maybe like they just need to see one go through.

One domino falls.

And there might be a bunch of other Fortune 500 companies out there and they're like, we've got, we've got about a half billion in marketing money that we'd like to light on fire. Where are we going to spend it? And then they see this and they're like, oh, I know. Yeah, that sounds good. Let's invest and live. It might just take one company to do it. And then the dam breaks.

Us? No, absolutely not.

How much?

We could put on— we could sponsor one hole. We could sponsor Jon Rahm walking from here, from the clubhouse to the tee box. That's what we can afford.

What do you think that our name got brought up in the negotiations? Been like, it's not that relevant, but this show talks about it every episode.

Yeah, yeah. They're like, as long as they keep talking about it, we got to try to save it.

I, I don't think it's a 0% chance that we got brought up.

It is kind of crazy that we made $0 off LIV. Yeah, like we should have gotten— fuck, we don't make money on any league.

We're the number one LIV podcast of all time.

We are a sports podcast, a national sports podcast, mind you.

Facts.

We have not gotten paid from any league.

But if there was ever a league to get paid by, pretty much— well, they paid everyone.

They asked me, I said, I said, I don't want to know the number. Because if you tell me the number, I'm going to want to do it. So no number.

What do you mean they asked you?

It's also a lie. What Hank just said.

What I said?

Pretty much.

Yeah. No, it's—

this is PLL, F1.

Yeah. Good point. Excellent points all around.

F1 didn't pass.

I mean, oh, I guess it was advertisers.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah. But I mean, they did.

They didn't.

Okay.

Anyways.

Anyways, there's definitely been a pitch. There's been a marketing meeting at LIV where they just say like, the— here's, here's how much buzz we've generated across media. And they say like they've been mentioned for like 70 minutes per week on the number one sports podcast. They don't disclose what the content of that discussion is. They don't say what we said, but they're just like, we're generating buzz. Look, best in LIV.

This guy's in a Four Aces hat and shirt and tie talking to the former president of the United States. Just use that screenshot from the Joe Biden clip.

True.

Yeah. Okay.

I mean, it would be funny if we are the reason why Liv is still trying to stay alive.

Yeah.

Chicken and egg. Are we saving Liv? Is Liv saving us?

Who knows?

Who knows?

Who's— last story I had, LeBron James is doing a full documentary. He signed a deal with ESPN. Welcome to the clown show.

That's a great intro. Is that the name of it?

Yeah.

The clown show.

It seemed like Michael Jordan had some cameras following him around.

Yeah. I mean, that footage didn't come out for like 30 years.

So the cameras weren't there. Those cameras—

it also came way less— way less cameras than today's cameras.

Cameras appeared out of thin air.

There's so much cameras and there's going to be real-time clips.

Way more cameras in the world today than there were back then.

Yes.

You're proving my point with inflation.

It's the same amount of—

maybe fewer cameras.

I think it's actually fewer cameras.

You think it's going to be a distraction?

I don't think that— I don't think Jordan did any confessional one-on-one interviews during that documentary. It was more like after, you know, the season. It wasn't while he was playing. He didn't like get changed out of his uniform, take a shower, and then go sit down for the camera.

I think LeBron might be this back in the day.

That's not true.

Documentaries didn't exist back in the day.

Well, not like that.

Yeah, right. It was a lot of cameras. What are you talking about? Stuff that were not like— it wasn't, hey, LeBron, what do you think about this game?

Compare it.

Do you think that the documentary sports documentaries that are in season now.

Yeah.

Compared to the '90s.

That's true. Yes. But there were such thing as documentaries. And I'm talking about like a day-to-day basis, Max.

I'm talking about in-season documentaries. There's a documentary for everything. But what I'm saying follows everyone in every sport, in every league.

I think tracks and everyone's distracted.

It happened. I think what me and Big Cal were saying, talking about LeBron, because everyone talks about LeBron.

I think what we're saying is, what about the quarterback show on Netflix?

How about Jaden Daniels?

Yeah, that worked out real good last year, didn't it? That was a Great season that Jayden Williams had last year. How about that? You didn't go well about that last year. Jayden didn't have a good year. He stank. He got hurt.

Didn't win a Super Bowl that year.

Be a real shame if that happened to LeBron. We'll see. Real—

the Chiefs were trying to do it. I think they weren't— they doing a 3-peat documentary when they were trying to win the 3rd in a row and they didn't. Oh, no distractions.

We'll see.

Are you excited about this?

I don't give a fuck. Actually, yes, I am excited about it. I want to watch it.

Yeah, even if you—

when he wins, I'm gonna watch it. I'm gonna watch it so fucking hard, and you two are just gonna cry, and I'm gonna drink your fucking tears after LeBron Doc just showed him finally.

He's finally stepping up.

Larry O'Brien— I forgot the name of the trophy.

He's finally becoming a bronze sexual. Yeah, no, I just—

I just listen to you when they get knocked out in the first round. They still have to put it out.

They have to put it—

then it would be the greatest thing ever. They don't make the playoffs, wouldn't they? He wouldn't.

No, he wouldn't.

I guarantee you that they will put this— if there is a signed deal with ESPN, that documentary is coming out no matter what.

Now, do you think that it's going to be like weekly basis? You think it's going to be monthly? How often?

No, it's after the— it's after he's retired. It's coming out.

Oh, so it's nothing in-season.

Post—

mostly.

Yeah. If they— if they lose in heartbreaking fashion, zero, 0% chance it comes out.

That's—

it's coming out.

What do you mean?

There's— it's coming. Like they signed— they're signing a deal.

Okay.

So you're pumped for this documentary?

Pumped, fired up. It's going to be sick.

Yeah. Yeah. Welcome to the Clown Show.

Welcome to the Clown Show.

That's actually a good name. Yeah.

Welcome to the Clown Show. I mean, you got it. Like, if you're like Joel Embiid, you see LeBron going to the confessional, you're like, what is he talking about?

Yeah, you have to wonder.

Yeah.

And then you're not going to find out for another year. Give me a break. Give me a break, Max.

Give me a break, dude.

Give me a break.

Give me a break.

Come on.

You kidding me?

You're not ready for this.

No, I just nailed that.

Yeah, that was probably the best you've ever done on this show. Yeah, you showed a little fight.

Well, I think that it is reasonable to say that when they did the Michael Jordan documentary, like after a game during the season, he wasn't spending his time going into a room, talking to the camera.

It's a different world now.

His teammate on the bus. Yeah, I'm saying it's more distraction. It's also— people do it all the time now, and it's not— I don't think it's always great.

If you haven't figured out by now on, on this show specifically when it comes to LeBron, we're going to be playing the results. So whatever happens, then we're going to fit our narrative around that.

What are you going to do if he wins?

Oh, we'll get there. We'll get there. Yeah, we will get there. We will get there.

I already said it was the, the 4 teams. You can't be the GOAT. And then someone pointed out Wayne Gretzky played for 4 teams. But listen, that's why we stay fluid. That's why we're always fluid here.

That's a good point.

I wish I had that one in my back pocket. So LeBron is— is anybody else on the Sixers going to be making money off this documentary or just LeBron?

LeBron has taken enough sacrifice for the money of this team.

So he's going to be—

did you see that?

He turned down $20 million from the Clippers to go to the Sixers for $3.8 million.

Yeah, I'm just saying. So he's going to be making money and he's like, hey, everybody has to be in my movie that I'm getting paid on.

Yeah, correct.

But you guys don't—

they're getting paid more than him.

It sounds like Pablo Torre needs to give him a call.

Correct.

Sounds like he should look into this movie business.

I'd agree. I agree. Okay, let's do— should we do Mount Rushmore? And then we got some interviews.

Yeah.

Kumbaya.

Yeah. Kumbaya. All right. Before we get to Mount Rushmore, it is brought to you by our friends at Reese's. There's something for everyone when it comes to Reese's. I have a new favorite. No, wait, it's not new because I've been doing it a lot. But Reese's Sticks. Reese's Sticks are just so— I've been on a Reese's Sticks kick. Reese's is the best candy out there. They got everything. You can go with just the traditional one-one Mount Rushmore pick of the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. They also have marshmallows or Oreos, or you can do the Reese's sticks, or you can do the Reese's pretzels, or you can do the Reese's, uh, with animal crackers. It's all there. Reese's is the best. Reese's is like the Spanish national team. They're like the Carolina Hurricanes. They're like whoever won the NBA championship this past year. Reese's is the GOAT. So Reese's, the official candy partner of Barstool Sports. Go get Reese's wherever you shop and make sure you get in on Reese's.

Okay, boys.

The Mount Rushmore of buttons to press. We are now the updated standings. We had the closest Mount Rushmore poll, I believe, of the season.

Yeah.

What were you tweeting, PFT?

What do you mean?

That you tweeted some chart. What was the chart?

Oh yeah, it was a chart of the, uh, 2020 election. Ah, where mysteriously in the end of the night one candidate took over another one. I'm just trying to muddy the waters. So I honestly think I have no regrets. I looked at the graphic. I came in third. It was a very close vote. I liked my team. I thought I had a great team out there. No regrets about that. I have lots of regrets about maybe the way I performed in some of the other Mount Rushmores, notably the two prior to this one. This one I was back. So statement loss. Statement loss. And I'm a process guy. I don't, I don't play. The process was good. And I think we're trending in the right direction. And now you got to stack days. That's the next step.

Yeah. So you lost.

You haven't— you don't need to start.

It's just for 7 days.

No, we're stacking days.

That was—

but you're at the—

you haven't—

you're—

you need to— you're one to start your results guy. I'm a process. You're playing the results.

You're stacking.

Yeah, you're stacking. Good process. Yeah, good process.

Okay.

Because I was like, look at that team. That's a team I'll lose with.

So it was— what was the final? It was 39.3% for me, Max Memes, and then 30.6% for Hank. Hank and Zach in 30%. That was— that's as close as we've had in a very long time.

Going to sleep, coffee, watching golf on TV, and spankings. That's a team that I will lose with.

You'll go—

you go to—

you go to war with them.

I'm happy with that team.

Yeah.

Um, okay, so it's 35 points for me, Memes, and Max. 25 points for PFT, and Hank and Zach are 24 points. Uh, Mount Rushmore of buttons to press. Who's up first?

We are. I thought, Zach, I— those two I just texted. One, you pick. I honestly— you pick.

We're gonna go with, uh, the order now button.

Order, order now. Okay, order now button.

It's a good button. Okay, I had it on the list.

Order now.

So I like that. Could be food, that could be shopping.

Yeah. Order now.

You're getting food delivered, you're getting new clothes, whatever. You know, it's fun to buy things and hit that order now.

Yep.

Okay. My one, one is on the table, so I'm going to go with it. I'm second, right?

Yeah.

Okay. Snooze. The snooze button.

Good button.

I love the snooze button.

That's a really good one.

Just delay the waking up.

Yeah, that is a good one.

I didn't even—

we were talking about alarm and I was like, no, it's actually the worst button to press. And I didn't even— the next, the next, the next thought should have been snooze.

Yeah.

That also would have been a bad one maybe for Zach to press.

Yeah, yeah.

But we're—

yeah, I mean, I feel like we both love the snooze.

You do love the snooze.

Snooze button's the worst button you can hit.

Okay, boys, what do we do?

We have our first two. Should we just wait?

Which ones are they again?

I just texted it.

7. Oh, do 7.

Okay.

Should we not— should we not say that first one that we initially thought was one?

One?

Yeah. No, I think we might be able to get that.

Okay.

Right.

Should we do it? Should we do so? 5, 5 and 19. 5 and 19, you're saying?

Yeah.

The one that I did. 12. You get 6, 2, 5, 2, 5, 2, 5, 2, 7. Now stop it. You have to. You're 3 of us.

Yeah. Evan is a good pick.

All right, go 8.

You're fucking us up now.

Yeah.

So, but like you, this, this needs to happen so you can be decisive.

5 and 18. I like 5 and 18.

I like 12.

Okay. All right.

All right. First one we're going to take is the TV remote. Pressing power on for the TV remote.

Power on TV remote. Okay.

The remote. And then the second one we're going to pick is hotel AC down. Just jamming that button.

Yeah.

Getting it as cold as possible.

A million times.

Good pick.

So many times. But yeah, there's nothing better than turning your TV on when you sit down. And you're just like, yeah, here we go, turn my TV on. What do we want the exact phrasing to be for that?

TV power.

TV power on.

Yeah.

Remote.

Yeah. Remote TV power on. I don't know how to phrase TV remote power button button.

And then hotel AC down.

Yeah. There's something again in the '50s.

Yeah.

It's great, but they don't actually get in the 50. They just let you click the button because they know that it's satisfying. It's satisfying to do.

And honestly, they're right. Yeah.

Yeah.

OK. All right. My second pick, I'm going to take skip ad button. OK, the skip ad button on a video.

I love that button. I actually disagree. I don't think anyone should skip any of our ads.

Yep.

I agree with each their own.

Ads are very important.

I disagree.

Ads are very important. Ads pay our bills. I would argue bad, terrible.

Double pick we get— We get paid either way.

We really need that people to know it's not true.

Definitely not.

Do not skip the ads! Way to go PFT right against ourselves.

Skip the ad?

Nope.

Do not skip the ads or just pay for YouTube Premium like you're—

You could pay for YouTube. You're rich.

But there are sometimes ads on not YouTube.

I'm not necessarily talking about those ones either. Keep listening to me. Not skip those.

Skip ad button's pretty sad. No, you know, it is your entire job.

All right, Zach, I think we go with 1 and 3 or 3 and 1. I don't know if it matters.

Oh, 3 and 1. 1 and 3. 1, 2, go 2, go 4.

What about 7?

That was a good impression. You guys do yourself.

What do you think about?

Yeah. Yeah, those are both good picks.

All right, we're going to go with 13, the chair recliner button.

We had it.

And we're gonna go with your best friend's button. Okay, pushing the buttons of your best friends.

Yeah, I had a similar one.

Fun.

Okay, chair recliner, best friends.

Yeah.

Thoughts?

I like it.

Good picks.

Yeah, I'd recline too.

We had his recline as well.

I'm going to go with exiting a video call. It's a good button, especially if it's work-related. If you're in a Teams meeting, if you're doing some sort of remote thing with your boss, exit the video call. Very satisfying.

Okay.

But yeah, it makes a noise too.

What are we doing, boys? I mean, we could do— we could do 4. Easy, right? Max, Meeps, get your lock in.

We could do 4.

Max is lit.

I also like— I like 14. That's got to be the best of all.

It's—

oh, no, no, no, no, no. Let's go 4 and 17. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Okay. The podcast button, the PMT needs to be the PMT podcast button. Got to be pressed.

It's a great button.

Max pressing it.

Very relatable.

Yeah. Well, yeah, because everyone listening right now, they need that button to be pressed.

That is—

they've never pressed.

Listen to anyone voting for that has never pressed the button.

Jacob Press.

Jacob is going to vote.

Yeah, it's already been pressed though.

If you're going to vote, you're going to vote. You pressed it.

Yeah. Memes is going to vote.

Memes going to vote. He's pressed it. We just think Colton Pugs going to vote.

Yeah. We're also thinking about the people.

Yeah, we're going to press the button to listen to this.

If anyone is allowed to make that pick, it's us. We're allowed to.

You're allowed to make whatever pick you want.

I mean, yeah, but it wouldn't make it.

Welcome to America.

It's true.

Big Cat's never even pressed the button.

I can press the button. You want me to press the button tonight?

No, I'll do it.

Knock my ass out. Yeah, I just, I just texted, I just texted you guys what our actual last pick should be. Yeah.

Yeah.

OK. Yeah. Covers everything. Video game console. Turn it on.

Yeah.

Best.

Yeah.

You know, you're about to sit down and do some gaming. Yeah. Great fucking feel.

That's going to be— that's going to be our next pick.

Mm-hmm.

Thought about taking it. 1-1.

Yeah, it's Zach, you know.

Yeah, it's a good pick.

It's a good pick.

It's a great pick.

Thank you. You do all 4 of ours at the same time. What was ours? TV remote. Yeah. Video game console. Yeah.

AC down.

Yeah.

And listening to part of my take. Yeah, that's true.

I'm going to go with voting in an online Twitter poll. As my last pick for button to press.

Mm-hmm.

I think everybody that votes in this is probably gonna agree that that's a pretty important button.

It is.

Yeah.

Very important.

That's your pick?

Yeah. I think it's a pretty good pick.

And it's worded like that.

Voting.

Great pick.

Yeah. Vote, voting in an online poll.

You can't change it now. You should have just said Team 2.

Okay.

Voting for Team 2. But yeah.

Well, I don't want to exclude anybody that is thinking about maybe not voting for Team 2.

Okay.

It's true. And they see that and they're like, I love Rushmore.

This is when we always get to it eventually.

Kind of nailed me. I'm about to vote in this poll.

Yeah.

And not pandering. You can vote for whoever you want.

You also hate our sponsors.

You do.

I don't.

And you wouldn't be able to listen to this if the podcast button wasn't pressed.

That's also a good point. Yeah, it's a good point. It looks like we've all just done a really good draft. That's what it sounds like to me.

Kumbaya.

Kumbaya.

Yeah, kumbaya.

Yeah.

I mean, we— I think— do you want to do that one, Zach, or you want to just take a safe one? Do we just say fuck it?

Oh, I hope— I, I hope—

yeah, say fuck it.

I think the fuck it is probably— could be the one that we've— that we were thinking doing one-on-one.

I think—

I think say it.

Uh, this last text at 11:32.

Yeah.

All right, we're gonna take any red button.

Any red— actually, not bad.

I love that.

Yeah, any red button's good.

That's Nuke.

We were thinking about nuke, but then we're like, it doesn't— it's the most powerful button, but it's probably not a good button.

You don't feel good probably pressing that button.

I think you probably do, though. You probably feel in the moment—

no way.

You feel bad after you press.

I mean, adrenaline rush of a lifetime, and then, yeah, you're probably dead.

I also had— I had right trigger, like on a gaming console.

We had spin move. Yeah, spin was a perfectly tight Spin move is the best.

One of my—

one that is not relatable to anyone but must be the best button to press of all time is the confetti after a championship.

We also fucked up.

What about confetti when you're going into overtime?

Good question.

That was a bad one. That's— that wouldn't have been my pick.

We also fucked up after a championship because one of my favorite picks we just didn't pick. We should have the submit bet button. Oh, fuck.

Yeah.

So stupid.

That is stupid.

That's— we had— we were planning and then we had too many. We had too many. We got 19 buttons.

Did you have clit PFT?

We actually had more.

We had G-spot.

I did not have clit.

No, but we didn't know where to find it. So not sick.

Frag Hank.

Yeah. Closed door elevator. Great button to press.

I've heard that those aren't connected.

Really?

Yeah.

Most of them. Like if you ever call in a repairman and if that button's not working, they just never fix it.

Yeah.

That— well, that's—

but it's still a good button to press.

Yeah, it's good.

I'm getting—

it feels like you're doing something.

Yeah, sneaky button that really has no meaning, but it, it just— it's actually— it's fun to press. Microwave door open. Yeah, it goes in.

Yep.

It's just a fun button to press.

It's nice and mechanical. Yeah. Uh, what about the, uh, hit stick?

I—

but you missed so many tackles.

Not a button.

Yeah, it's not a button. Joystick.

But you have to— don't you have to click it?

No, no, no.

This is—

you're doing the Inglourious Basterds 3 thing.

OK, well, how about the Fox 3? Fox 3 launching an AMRAAM.

Shit.

That's a good button.

This is about to be a gunfight. I love— Max hates this because Max is a pussy. I love the garbage disposal. I think it's awesome hitting that button. Oh, yeah. You're like, what does that mean? He makes you uncomfortable?

Have you ever lived— dude, living in New York without a garbage disposal and then getting one back, it's like, it's the best.

There's just nothing better, though.

It's one of the greatest inventions.

And you like pile it up with shit and you're just like, or like even weird, like when you do eggs or something like that, you're just like, I'm going to go for it.

And it sounds like it's good.

Yeah.

When it's like full and you can tell it's really like carving through.

Yeah. It's like, are you throw like a, like a lime in there and you're like, this is going to take some work. I'm going to have to— I'm going to have to really run some water and listen to this.

I think my biggest fear is having my hand stuck in a garbage disposal when it's on.

So I think that was that because you're just trying to get one last bite.

Like, what if you try to shove something down there?

Yeah.

Yeah.

You're like, I'm throwing this away.

And then like, oh no, I want a last bite.

10 minutes later, you're like, down the garbage disposal that you have to put your hand in and take it out.

I didn't press the button.

I know.

But like that, it does turn on.

Not really. PFD.

Well, no.

What do you mean? You've never had to take something out of the garbage disposal?

You got it. You got to clear it.

You've never used a sink.

I've never had my hand down there. But you have to, like, clear the top sometimes. And when you clear the top, but it's not on. Max is saying it's not on. There was one house that I looked at and this is like probably 10 years ago. I was going to move into this place and the garbage disposal button was a little light switch that was in front of the sink at your stomach height. That's just terrifying. It was the most terrifying switch that I've ever seen. I was like, no, this house is cursed. I'm not losing hand here.

That's crazy.

Yeah.

All right. Other buttons. Yeah, but Max, don't eat from the garbage disposal.

OK, I had Pressing Max's Buttons.

Yeah, we did too. We had that. But he kind of— they kind of took it with Best Friends.

It's just a worse version of it.

Max, my best friend. I had to explain in the car, PFT, to Max and Memes, the CBS Boss button.

Oh, the Boss button.

Unbelievable button.

The—

for anyone who doesn't know what we're talking about with CBS, when March Madness— it was probably like 15-ish years ago— you would watch March Madness on your computer at work. And they put in a boss button on the browser where if you clicked it, it immediately went to a fake Excel spreadsheet. Yeah, the boss button. Great button.

I had the button that sends the vacuum tube at the bank.

Oh, that's good.

That's a good button.

That's good.

It just sucks it away.

We had walkie-talkie.

The talk. Yeah, that's good.

Click.

Minor. The I'm over 18. The yes, I'm over 18 button that allows you access to certain websites.

Yeah, that's a good one.

Yeah, that's it for sure.

That's good.

That's good.

Probably should have gone with that one.

Yeah.

Push to walk. I still press it. Doesn't do anything, but it's kind of fun to press it.

Yeah.

Push to start.

Push to start.

We had push start. Add to cart was— you kind of guys took it with— but add to cart is fun. Oh, soda fountain.

Great.

Yeah, it's not really— no, there's buttons. You're talking about the one where you press on the front?

The new age ones.

I like the one—

the old one.

I like the one where you click it into the lever.

Yeah, but there's new age ones and now there's old— like the old ones that used to press. Yes, but the new age ones too, where you have like, you can make whatever. So like, there's like 7,000 sodas. Also the ice button when in a hotel, that's fun. Just filling it up. Like I'm getting all the ice.

Ice button's good. Like submit button when you're submitting a resume or submitting like a term paper.

Yep.

Yep.

Max AC button.

Max AC. Pretty good.

Yeah.

What about the mute button?

I said that Max said he liked the unmute button, but it's the same button. Yeah.

Yeah.

It's just I was thinking, going back to what you said the other day when it's like, oh yeah, you're watching sports, but then it's like, could you mute that? I want to listen to— I want to listen to music. There's, there's people here. We don't need to listen to the audio. And it's like, that's, that's a tough button to press when you have to click the mute so you can listen to the music.

Garage door. I love pressing the garage door button.

It's a good one.

It just makes you feel kind of— it makes you feel like Walter White.

I did a project.

Yeah.

Yeah. Just like I'm going to— it's just the whole world opens like, shit, that was cool.

Or closing it and the play button.

Zach, we're in a bad spot.

That's good.

But I think we're in a good spot.

I think this is going to be another tight race. I think it'll be a really tight—

there's no way to know. We got all— I mean, video games, we probably should have taken, but we, we got our top. We had 4 of our top 5. We could have had video games. We just didn't.

What if your top 5 wasn't great?

I think I like our top 5.

What was your first one again?

Order now. Your best friend's chair recliner. Any red button. Yeah, that one.

Any red button is good.

Okay, now what?

I'm— no, I like any red button.

These better than your best friend's.

But that's the best button to press.

Yeah, but we would have— if you hadn't taken that, we would have maybe taken Max's buttons. That's my favorite button to press in the whole world.

You guys are—

Max didn't understand when we first started talking about it. I was like, Max's button. He's like, oh, you mean like for the podcast? I was like, no, dude. Like, for you? And he's like, oh yeah, I do. I like to press it.

I like pushing your guys' buttons too, though. Yeah, but it's any, any of your friends.

We never, we never push your buttons.

No, Hank is one giant button.

We play it straight up with you, Hank.

He can't exist because he's just, he is a button.

Uh, all right, good Mount Rushmore, boys. Let's get to our interviews. We got Coach Sig, Coach Bob Chesney,. And then we have our good friend Joel Klatt talking football with all three.

Coach Sigs is going to be brought to you by Mountain Dew. Summer is coming. I can't wait for Camp Barstool. I can't wait to hang outside with boys. Can't wait to spend some time by the lake. Nothing goes better with hitting the lake and hanging with your friends than the refreshing citrus kick of Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew is proudly born in the foothills of Tennessee. You can enjoy the refreshing citrus kick of Mountain Dew. It's an American original. Check it today. Mountain Dew, grab a do, tasting great since '48. And now here's Coach Kurt Cignetti.

Okay, we now welcome on a very, very special guest. It is Indiana head football coach Kurt Cignetti, national champion. Am I allowed to say that? Because I know that you've banned those words from your office.

They're not banned, but we're getting ready to start a new year, that's for sure.

Okay, how many times has it been said in your, in your office since you won the national Oh, I don't count.

I'm more interested in converting on third down and scoring touchdowns in the red area.

I like that.

Yeah.

You did get rid of all the trophies, though. You put those away. You stashed those away so they're not staring you in the face.

Yeah, the trophies. We got a new trophy case. You know, we had to create— build a new trophy room in the facility because for such a long time there wasn't much to put in it.

Right.

So it's almost done. It's going to be big time, first class.

I like that.

That's great.

So. We got a few little items in my office. You know, my office has always been very Spartan, secondary to me. You know, I've never tried to create a monument, but, uh, there's been so many, uh, that we don't have enough room for them yet, so they end up at my office somehow, some way. I just put them where I can't see them. Yeah, maybe bring them out when a recruit comes in.

That's got to be a nice, like, reminder that, hey, this thing has, uh, this has worked pretty quickly because you had to build an entire trophy case finally to put all the trophies in.

Yeah, now we got to build a new stadium. Yeah, no, I'm just kidding.

Maybe a little bit. Maybe you're a little bit serious about that one. This is— so this is 2 years, uh, almost to the day that you sat down, Big Ten Media Day. You said a lot of things at your first Big Ten Media Day. Was that a strategy?

Were you—

were you like, I better burn the boats, I better say all of it? Yeah, that way I feel like I have— I have to back it up or else?

Well, I was out there on a limb. Thankfully it was a strong them. But, you know, it all began really with my first day on the job. And it didn't take long to feel the doom, gloom, despair, and hopelessness. And so at the basketball game that night, you know, what was said was said. And I had to find out if the fan base was on life support or dead. And, you know, said a few things. Obviously, the Google Meet caught fire. That was just being asked the same question for the 15th time. Media Day, actually, 2 days ago, somebody sent me something, our first media day where I talk about being picked second to last and gave some historical facts. And I looked at it and kind of laughed like, wow, I was really out there, you know?

Yeah.

So 2 years, you know, a lot of wins, 27-2, called national championship, done a lot of good things. So chapter 3, getting ready to turn the page.

I'd say you backed it up pretty well. And I was a big fan of yours at James Madison when you were the coach there. I'm sorry for jinxing you. After on the College GameDay appearance, um, the one loss that we had against App State, that's on me. I don't know who else you can blame about that one, so I apologize for that, um, because I was watching you last year, I was like, how did, how did this team lose to App State at home? I, I didn't get it because you had so many guys from JMU that followed you to, uh, to Indiana. And I was curious because after you guys won the national championship, the one thing I noticed immediately, I believe the first 5 guys to touch the trophy were all guys that came with you. Was that intentional, or is that just like, these are the guys that were naturally towards the front because they're the leaders?

I think Mendoza was up there also.

Yep.

Uh, to be fair, Coogan also. Uh, but you did have Kamara, uh, Ponds, uh, Surratt, Tucker, I believe. Uh, you know, that was a nice nucleus. Uh, you know, we had been together a long time, uh, recruited those guys out of high school and developed them. Uh, and then, you know, they wanted to play on a bigger stage and prove themselves because, uh, you know, why wasn't I recruited by Virginia, Virginia Tech, tech kind of thing. And they came here and proved that they can play at the highest level. And a lot of them are in NFL camps right now. High draft choices, not only good players, but high character, smart guys. You get good players that are smart and have good character. You can do a lot of things.

Yeah.

I had a question about your path as a coach because it's an interesting one. A lot of people, if they're at Alabama with Nick Saban, that is kind of the last stepping stone to something bigger. But you realized, hey, I have to go somewhere else. Be a head coach at a lower level and work my way up this way. Right. Was there a moment where you're like, hey, maybe I'm not going to be a head coach. Like, this isn't going to work out for me.

Oh, yeah.

A lot of them. And then, you know, I was hitting the big 5-0 and being a coach's son, you tend to, like, follow the other coaches through all the years from the '70s that were on staff and their career paths. And yeah, the market for a 60-year-old assistant coach at that time, it's not a great market.

Right.

You know, I was turning 50. 50. And so I always want to be a head coach. I always thought I'd be a good head coach. Uh, it was a very unconventional move. It was a huge pay cut. Um, and but when I took that job, like, you know, if I was there 20 years, I was going to be there 20 years. Like, I didn't take that job every day waking up thinking, I got to get here, I got to get there. We just, we got good. Uh, we found a path and, uh, the opportunities came.

Yeah, you started winning and you just never stopped winning, really. Yeah, that's kind of what has been the story of Curt Zanetti.

Yeah, we win. Yeah, yeah.

How did How did you identify like the different jobs that you want to take? Were they the only ones that were offered? Like, was Indiana, University of Pennsylvania?

No, there were turned down jobs. And then sometimes you interview for a job and you don't get it. And I mean, I was at IUP for 6 years.

Yeah.

And I mean, I had 2 great teams coming back I thought could really contend and maybe win the national championship. And then, you know, this opportunity at Elon came and, you know, I was at NC State before I knew Elon. There wasn't much down there. I wasn't even going to go talk to him. My agent convinced me. I was on a plane. I get down there, man, they had built, the school had doubled in size. It looked like a country club. They built all kinds of new facilities back then. That was the top 1AA conference in the country then, Missouri Valley. And we went in there and everybody thought it was hopeless, much like Indiana. It was probably in worse shape than Indiana. And shoot, you know, we lost to Toledo in the opener. They won the MAC. And then we ripped off 8 in a row, man. And we were beating teams that beat them the year before 56-6. People couldn't believe it. And, you know, a year later, turned down a couple of jobs, ended up at JMU. And, you know, I liked it there. I wasn't looking to leave JMU. Now, Jeff Bourne was retiring.

I loved him. And he told me, "Oh, fuck, people are going to come after you. People are going to—" I said, "No, no, no, I like it here." You know, I was a little miffed that, you know, we had transitioned to Sun Belt, won the East. 2 years in a row and couldn't play in the championship game. Yeah. Yeah. Wasn't very pleased about that. But this one here had been here a couple of times. The Big Ten TV contract really caught my eye. I knew they'd had some years with Mallory. I really didn't realize how it had bottomed out in terms of fan support and the long-term record because it was such— it was a 3-day process. I get here. Oh, we got 10 offensive starters in the transfer portal. The whole defense is gone. I mean, we had a lot of work to do. To do. And it just sort of all came together.

Yeah. I mean, it really is one of the best stories that's happened in sports. Like, I— you can't really look at many teams, franchises, schools that have had this type of turnaround this quickly that if you told someone 5 years ago Indiana is going to win a national title in football, they'd be like, well, you're— you've died and you've gone.

I think most people in the know would agree it's one of a kind. One of a kind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Story. Yeah. And it doesn't happen without great support from the top. Pam Whitten and Scott Dolson. And I don't take this job without a great feeling about them, who I got to know in a 72-hour period. And, you know, as you guys know, nothing great gets done without a commitment from the top.

Yeah. So, so in terms of turning the page and like you said, chapter 3, I would assume you're a type of guy who has no, no problem turning the page.

No, no problem. Yeah.

But in terms of your staff, in terms of, you know, some of the guys that are coming up coming back who have had all these— the other— they're—

don't have a problem either, they wouldn't be on staff. Yeah, true.

Okay, so, but, but the player, like, they're, you know, these are, these are 20, 21-year-old kids that are rock stars now. No question. And they've gotten all the success. How do you get them to be like, hey, we, we're back to zero and zero, no one's proved anything?

I think our people that went to dinner last night would disagree with who the rock star is right now, as the pretty young girls were passing up the 20-year-olds. But no, I think we have enough core guys in that locker room that have been— we've been together, that know how we operate. And they've done a great job of bringing the new guys in, helping them assimilate to culture. And, you know, that's what coaches get paid for is, you know, we don't talk enough about development, which is what it's all about. Mm-hmm. You know, and I think that's where we really excel is in development and getting everybody to think alike and creating the intangibles on your football team. And I think this is going to be a huge fall camp for us because playing a 16-game season and some of the portal guys we brought in had injuries at their previous places, those guys didn't get a chance to work together a lot. So this is a huge August camp for us. Yeah. And then getting them to do things our way. You know, the marathon is not a sprint. It's a marathon. The season is a marathon, not a sprint.

And once you kind of develop and maintain consistency and performance in terms of your standards in terms of the way you do things day to day and prepare, then anything's possible.

Yeah. How are you going to handle being the, uh, the hunted now that you're at the top? It's like now you've got a big target on your back. It's a— I bought a bigger gun. That's a great answer. Okay. All right. That's—

congratulations. We kind of passed—

you just won the championship again. Like, you're gonna win again with an answer like that?

Yeah, we passed over it, but when we were talking about you winning and you just like— you kind of mumbled under your breath like, we win, we We win. That's what we did. We win. Like, that's just— you're just— it's just coursing through your veins, winning.

I mean, I believe in our blueprint plan process and the way we go about doing things and our ability to get everybody to think alike and perform to a standard. It's worked in the past, and I don't see any reason it shouldn't work again. All right.

So now here's a tough football question. Do you go shirtless under your Q-Zip? I do. That's weird. Is it? Yes.

Get the zipper caught in the chest area. Gets caught in the zipper sometimes. Like, what do you do?

Does the fabric not feel weird?

I, I don't like things that are tight, like this button up here, you know, in this time. Okay, uh, I noticed nice and loose and I feel comfortable.

It's kind of like a Psycho Killer move where it's like, I don't trust that guy, but he's got something to him, like, gonna stay away.

You gotta have a little killer in here. Yeah, in this business.

But I think I first remembered it when the Rose Bowl— I, I, I was, I was heavy on like, hey, I think Indiana is going to kick the shit out of Bama, and I you came out with that Q-Zip with nothing underneath. I was like, this guy got a screw loose and they're about to lay the hammer on him.

Wow. You're really looking. Yeah.

No, that's a— hey, it's attention to detail. We can help you out with that. We notice that attention to detail.

We notice all the dumbest stuff that happens during a football game. Somebody has to. Yes. Right. And when you're sweating on directly on that fabric, it's got— there's got to be some chafing. There's got to be the chest hair getting caught in the zipper. But that's a man that's only focused on ball. You don't care about that.

Yeah, I've never noticed. Yeah.

Uh, would you— go ahead.

I was going to say, you talked about bringing a bigger gun this year. Um, where's that gun manufactured at? Um, is that Cuban? Is that a Cuban gun that you're bringing this year?

You know, Indiana has the largest alumni base in America. Uh, I think Penn State's number 2. And as you guys saw, we took over the college football playoff. I mean, we probably had 75% of the people at the Rose Bowl, 95% at the Peach Bowl, and 60% in Miami on Miami's home field. So a lot of wealthy Hoosiers out there. Yep. Uh, Mark played a role last year, uh, and hopefully we can keep them in the program. Uh, but there's a lot of wealthy Hoosiers out there.

So when you were hired, um, we— I don't know if we said it at the time. I was confident that you would do a good job because I'd gotten to see you coach. I knew what you were all about. I don't think anybody predicted this, but after you won the championship last year, I think we said on Part of My Take you might be the best hire for any job. That's— I'm not talking about football. I'm talking about just any occupation. Anyone that's ever been hired in American history, you might be the best. Would you agree with that statement? Do I get a trophy for that? This is your trophy.

One that you're going to put in your closet.

I really can't think that way. That's counterproductive to what I've got to do and the way I operate. I bounce back from wins real quick. We stalk complacency. If you're not striving and getting better, somebody else is, so you're getting worse. What are you doing now? What's important now? And I always like to be productive in my work in the moment. Organized, structured, work smart. I grew up in this business, you know, and if you want to be the best, takes some different kind of qualities and traits, and you can't— You can't always have a good time. You can't always be a good guy. You're the leader. My job is to get the most out of every single person in that building, coaches and players. I read something Mendoza said last week about he squeezes all the juice out of that orange he can. That's the key to the drill. And then you got to get them all thinking alike. Yeah. Yeah.

How long did you give yourself to celebrate though? You had to have like a couple of days where it was like, this is pretty cool.

I think it's just so chaotic and hectic. You know, you don't go to bed till 3 in the morning. Because, you know, maybe go up to the president's suite, right? And then you're on with ESPN at 8 in the morning the next day, and then you're traveling back and then you get in the office and you're way behind on everything. Mm-hmm. And really feel like I'm just getting caught up here as we get ready to go to camp.

Yeah. Yeah. All right. I know you got to leave in a second. By the way, what makes it— what makes Pittsburgh such a football city where it feels like a lot of coaches come from that area? Yeah. It's like, it's something about it. I don't know why.

Well, probably back in the day, the steel mills. Yeah. I mean, way back. Ditka and those guys. Yeah. Joe Walton and Schottenheimer. And, you know, then it was Cowher. And, you know, and then the Steel Curtain, right? Yeah. People got fanatic about the Steelers after they got done, you know— But it's that area. —1 in 13 seasons. Yeah. Joe Greene and L.C. Greenwood and those guys. Yeah. Tough blue-collar area. Yeah. And, you know, so tough people earn, not given. Yeah. All right.

Last question. Rhoback question. rhoback.com promo code TAKE 20% off your first purchase. Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. rhoback.com promo code TAKE. We got Zach here. Zach is going to ask you a question. Come on, Zach.

Did have a quick question for you. You know, just us right now, a couple of guys talking football, having a good time. I was wondering if you can give us a peek at the secret formula on pretty much how you got it done last season.

He asked for your secret sauce. Wow, he wants your secret sauce. He did it in a very nice way though, so you should probably—

Blueprint, people, plan, process, standards, consistency, and performance.

Say that again. What's that acronym?

Wait, say that again.

Blueprint, blueprint, standard, people, okay, process, plan, standards, consistency, and performance.

Preparation, accountability, You're just throwing extra ones in there. You just threw a little extra salt, a little extra pepper.

Yeah, it didn't—

do you also need a little something? You definitely have a thesaurus, huh?

You got a lot of synonyms. A lot of those kind of mean the same thing.

All those words mean something. Yeah, I'm gonna break that— we're gonna have to break that down later. Certainly.

Yeah. Okay, you work on that.

Um, well, Coach, thank you so much. We really appreciate it. Uh, maybe next time we'll come down and visit you. We'd love to do an extended one, but but appreciate any time you gave us.

All right, guys, thank you so much. Appreciate it.

Coach Sig was brought to you by Cuervo and Cuervo Devil's Reserve pineapple jalapeño infused tequila. It's like a spicy marg in a bottle. It's smooth, it's delicious. Devil's Reserve is the perfect drink for when mischief is on the menu. It's available in multiple sizes, including 50ml shooters, perfect to bring to your party or your tailgate. It's time to listen to that little devil on your shoulder. Pour around the shots, get ready to raise a little bit of Hell. Check out Cuervo today. Go to your local liquor store or go to cuervo.com. Get your own bottle of Devil's Reserve Raise a Little Hell. Please drink responsibly. And now here's UCLA coach Bob Chesney.

Okay, we now welcome on a very, very special guest. It is UCLA head coach Bob Chesney. Coach, uh, thank you for joining us. How's— how is your first big time media day? Because this is— you're in the big boy league now. This is the start.

We're the start. Yeah, this starts. So I'll let you know in 5 minutes or so when we're done here.

Okay. Yeah. Is it still like, uh, you know, obviously not a— I don't want to say whirlwind because this is something you've expected your whole life, I would assume. But you are now like— you, you've graduated to the, to the top in terms of like the Power Five Conference, the Big Ten. Has it kind of set in like, hey, stakes are different? Like, this is, this is Big, big shit.

Yeah, I think I respect the fact that the margins are a lot thinner up here and that the competition and the coaches and the players and the, you know, stadiums we'll play in, I recognize all those things are gonna be different. But at the same point, I think when you're building a team, there's those foundational elements that regardless of where you're playing have to be held true to. Right. And they have to fit you. They have to fit the players you got, you know, schematically, culturally, what environment am I in? You know, who are the connections I gotta make in a new area? 'Cause for me, this is very different on the West Coast. So there's a whole lot in there that, that you got to do, but you could pull on previous experience. And to me, my confidence doesn't just come from my previous experience, but it also comes from the fact that I'm willing to learn and grow as much as humanly possible on a day-to-day basis.

Yeah. Are you ready for an entire offseason of people anointing UCLA as the next Indiana?

Specifically, I know that's not me, that's for sure. That's not me. But I get the parallels, and I guess what I get what they're saying, and that's just to me, a very easy little, you know, I don't want to say cheap, but an easy, you know, connection to make. But realistically, time will tell.

Do you have, uh, do you have any relationship with Coach Sig?

A little bit, not, not much. So, uh, you know, a couple of our guys on staff were there when he was there, and then getting a chance to see him at the Bear Bryant Awards last year, I had a chance to hang out with him for 3 to 4 minutes. You're not going to get a whole lot much more than that, I don't think, from him anyway. But I had a chance to hang out with him, you know, a little bit.

You're a smart guy because I think along the way, uh, you've, you've kind of built up your career. You've had protection from the media to a certain extent, because at Holy Cross you've got Bill Simmons running interference for you. At JMU, I'm going to go to bat for you. And now you finally upgrade to the final level, and now you've got Liam Bluttman. Yeah, ready to die on his sword for you.

You're at the pinnacle right now.

Do you— are you just looking at bloggers and you're like, yeah, I think I'll go to their school next?

Yeah, and I'm following the hierarchy of them, and clearly Liam's significantly higher than you in this.

Top of the food chain. We gotta figure out where the Nelk boys went. Yeah.

Uh, no, it, it seems like an awesome opportunity. And, uh, I'm curious, like, you don't— like, be honest. Yeah, at JMU, it was a great thing that you had going. Awesome season last year. Great second half against Oregon, by the way. Excellent last drive. Uh, was there any part of you that thought about not taking that next step and going back to Harrisonburg?

I think that Harrisonburg is a tough place to leave, you know, as you know. Like, that's a— it's a pretty special place.

Yeah, because you're You get drunk all the time and don't graduate in 4 years.

Yeah, that's why you're stuck there for 7 years, doctor. But I think for me it was, you know, uh, just the right opportunity. And, and there's other opportunities, but I think when I look at this one, you know, it has everything. Every positive from every job I've had or every place I've been a coach all exist in this one place at UCLA. It's, you know, to me the perfect match for, you know, what I was looking for. And then when you start talking about alignment, you start meeting the people and the search committee and the, the just sort of the, you know, the, the leaders in the sports world that you can glean in, uh, you know, information from and be supportive of you is really special. Like, and that was the thing for me that I just saw it as, you know, all of it combined into one from my previous past along with the energy of the people with the alignment from the top down that made it feel like this is the right fit.

LA is great, but you're gonna miss it when it's rainy outside in Harrisonburg and the whole town smells like dog food.

Right. I will miss that.

You're going to miss that.

I went back recently and it was It's hot and humid. It smelled like— which might take the rain, I think.

Can we address a potential negative for UCLA? And I'll— listen, I'll just— we'll do truth talk here. All right. It's tough when you don't have a football stadium on campus. And the Rose Bowl— I love the Rose Bowl. I think it's one of the best venues that we have as a country. Yes. Uh, but it is a challenge when you're playing against some of the other Big Ten teams that have massive, massive on-campus stadium. So what's the plan there? How are you going to— Yeah, are you going to change that culture?

Yeah, so I think for me, as I look back through the history of it, when you're winning, they will come, you know, and I think that's just the, the truth of it. If you put competitive teams on the field, people will support it. If you're involved in their lives, they'll support. I, I probably— I would imagine more than any coach in the country spent more time, you know, with our alums, with different sports teams, you know, traveling around, doing whatever I can to make sure that that they understand that I'm connected to them and that we need their help. As far as the Rose Bowl is concerned, Bill Plaschke was just at our place the other day, and, and, you know, he's, uh, thinks it, you know, and thinks extremely highly of it, that it is the Augusta of— it is beautiful— it's church. And it really is. When you go there and you feel it in the setting of it, all of it is perfect. You got to get there, right? You got to get people there. And I think, you know, if, if without incentives, without a good football team on the field, is probably challenging.

But that's things we got to change because it also doubles as, you know, all the other Big Ten schools, a lot of, you know, Midwest footprint. You know, it gets, you know, cold in October, November. Hey, we want to go to the Rose Bowl like that was. Yes. So it makes it daunting. Yeah. Yeah.

That is a battle just because of the fact if you're looking at the schedule and you have a chance to go to the Rose Bowl and play, you said you're probably doing that, right? So we got to shift those numbers and get them more in our favor. But, you know, I understand the challenge. Okay.

Maybe more like free hot dogs or t-shirts. Yeah. Yes. Like do something like that.

Nice. Yeah. Yeah, or flyover before every game. Mhm. Yeah, promise a flyover.

I mean, we have shuttles, we have buses for everybody to be able to, you know, come over. We have— every fraternity has their own setup over there. We have DJs, we have buses that take them to the game and back. So I think we're doing everything we can. We just got to make sure that we put a better product on the field.

Too fast past the t-shirt cannons. Yeah, like a head coach doing a t-shirt cannon would be awesome.

Oh, myself doing it? Yes. Yeah, in the middle. Yes. After the first quarter, I think it's like any commercial break. Any commercial break. Don't go to the team. Yeah, don't go to the team.

Don't take it off. Yeah, you have— you wear the t-shirt can like, like the backpack, and then maybe, yeah, you shoot off in commercial break.

I hit a timeout and then turn around, just fire one.

You can keep talking to the team. Like, you could be in the huddle, just like have your, you know, just be firing away. Be like, hey guys, we got to really focus on this third down. Yeah, you know, watch for for, you know, the run past.

I didn't think about that. Yeah, I thought being like totally present in it, but you don't have to do that. I'm just thinking you bring up a good point.

Also, I love when they do the, the little pair— I know it's not in like an NBA arena, but the parachutes. So maybe we get like mini parachutes, like when they drop like burritos and stuff.

Oh, the drones. Yeah, drone strike people with burritos. Yeah, that would be cool. Nice touch.

I think that'd be—

yeah, you got the right people back here.

I mean, I guess maybe you guys They're taking notes.

Yeah, all right, we got more ideas. Uh, you're known— or at least last year was— you were probably the best second half team in America, certainly like defensively. It was incredible what Jamie was able to do in the second half. I forget how many months you went without allowing a single point. Um, at what point were you like, I would like some of this second half magic to be there at the start of the game? Like, at what point did that almost become frustrating?

Yeah, where you couldn't start out like every point. I, I'll tell you what though, when you start off a little slow, but you know you're getting to halftime and have some adjustments to make. And, and the— I, I don't understand necessarily why that, that worked. We didn't change like a ton of things. We, you know, we just had the opportunity to, you know, settle down and, and do what we needed to do. Um, but yeah, you, you would like to start faster, but when you at least know you got a good second half coming, you could deal with the first half. If you had a slow first half, then a slow second half, that's just tough living. But I, you know, I thought our guys by the end of the season started to turn it up a little bit. The ODU game's really the one that I thought we just started to exchange score for score. Both quarterbacks were playing elite and then we got to the second half and just held them to 10 yards of offense, you know, in the whole second half. I think that was a big deal. Yeah.

You went to a UCLA basketball game this year and said you're going to win the Big Ten. Yeah. Okay. You said you're going to win the Big Ten. Yeah. Was that this year?

Well, it's, it's open-ended, you know, answer realistically.

At some point. Yeah, it's a goal, right?

It's a goal. It should be our goal. Yeah. We should not be sitting in a spot to me you know, lowering expectations and hiding behind the idea that we're rebuilding and we're not. We're building a program, period. And I think that's it to me is that that has to be the goal. That has to be where we're setting our sights. It has to be how we recruit. It has to be how we develop. It has to be, you know, how we play. It has to be every little thing in it. We have to understand what everybody else in this league is doing and find a way to close the gap.

It is kind of funny when you, when you like answer that. It is funny that whenever a head coach gets hired and they say something like that, everyone's like, oh, look how cocky he is. Yeah. Whereas what would be the alternative? Yeah. What if you got in front and said like, hey guys, we're going to suck. Yeah. Like that would probably not go well either. No, that won't.

That won't. No. Or let's get to 500 if we can. Like, yeah, here we go.

Yeah. Let's try to, let's try to go 6-6. Did anyone talk you out of like saying the Big Ten thing though? Or are you just like, nah, I don't think anybody knew it.

I don't think I knew what I was going to say honestly till I got up there. Okay. That's just what came out of my mouth.

Okay.

Maybe say like, we're going to have the most fun in the Big Ten. And that's what's really important.

We're going to, we're going to do the most t-shirt games in the Big Ten.

Yeah, exactly. Fun is it. It's about the journey, not the destination. That's right. That's what I always say. Yeah. So, so your coordinators that you bring with you. Yes. How have, how have they adjusted to the Big Ten so far and like the different caliber of players that you're playing with, specifically your quarterback, who I actually have a lot of faith in this year. Some people may have taken a future on him to win the Heisman Trophy in this room, but how have they enjoyed the kind of the leveling up? Do you think that they're ready for it and what have you seen from them?

Yeah. And I think for me, To me, the idea of always doing more with less is what we had to accomplish. And now we have a chance to do more with more. And I think in the transfer portal, we ended up as the, I think, top 11, you know, team in the portal rankings, which was really strong given that school had started the day the portal opened. And we had 2 weeks to do it, probably did it in a week and a half, and, you know, were able to secure a pretty good class. So I think that to me, when I watch our coaches and I see them and their excitement of the caliber of player that we're dealing with, and not that it was bad anywhere else, it's just different here, right? Raised a little bit. And I think there it just opens their eyes a little more into the possibilities of, you know, things you can do or can't do. Before, it was more about what you couldn't do that you wanted to do on offense. And I think it just opens up a little bit more possibilities.

Yeah.

Uh, so in terms of your career as a coach, because you, you did it, you know, I would say probably the hard way, where it's like, you know, you start small, small schools and go— you know, a lot of guys, they do it and they're starting at the big schools, a GA, and then maybe get Yes. A position coach, then defensive coordinator, then— but you did head coach small schools. Yeah. Was there ever a moment in that path where you're like, I— no one's giving me a look. Like, I keep winning games. Yeah. And I'm winning at a crazy clip, but I'm not getting the interviews. And maybe this is just what I am now.

Yeah. Yeah, for sure. And I think every step of the way, you know, even at the D3 school I was at, nobody ever heard of in Newport, Rhode Island, you know, we became a top 20 team in the country. And, you know, you were trying to take that next step, right? All right. Now we need a new locker room. We need to do something about this field. We need to get admissions. And, and eventually it just, they're not ready to climb that quickly with you. So that was really the, you know, the, the, the reason the move had to happen next. But there was an opportunity. And now you're at a D2 world, right? And the D2 world now, first time dealing with scholarships. Then you go to the FCS world, first time you gotta recruit nationally because of the academic rigor of that school. And you're dealing with no grad students and no walk-on or no fifth years or no red shirts. So you gotta really develop now. And then you got, 'cause you gotta go stand toe-to-toe with South Dakota State and these types of teams that have sixth and seventh year guys, you know, grad school and JUCOs and transfers.

You don't have that. And I thought we did a nice job of that. And then you get to JMU and you learn about the portal now, you know, and the portal piece is holy, you know, we have very few guys left. 67 new guys come into the portal. Yep. Win the first ever bowl game. And then go to the playoffs and then you get to UCLA and it's all of that then comes into, you know, in this one cauldron kind of, right? Yeah. So I think every step of the way for me, I never felt like I was stuck anywhere. I felt like if this is where I end up, it's where I end up. Like I, and my, I think it was my mother was like, just grow where you're planted and the rest of it will figure it out. 'Cause as a younger coach, you're looking all the time. Right. Right. And then as you become a head coach, you know, the, the ties are a lot deeper, right? To, to the players, to the community, to everything. You can't jump after a year. Right. Somewhere. Right. And I think for me, Those were the things that just changed a little bit for me.

But every step of the way really helped prepare me for the next. Yeah.

Did you ever think in that, in that process, like, why don't I, why don't I do the maybe the shortcut? I, it's not a shortcut, but why don't I do the thing where I go be a defensive coordinator at a Power 4 school?

Yeah, I did. And then, you know, honestly, for me, I visited a lot of them and I went around and saw a lot of them and I just felt like, oh man, I don't know if I want to I want to work for that guy. Yeah. That was ultimately where I thought— You want to be a head coach. I was that. And it came down to the idea of, I know the environment that I create as the head coach. And I know the culture that's there. And I know that we all enjoy going to work every day. We don't have to. We're not beating people down and forcing them into our way of thinking. This is a place where they get to go and enjoy it and not have to do it, but get to do it on a day-to-day basis. And I think that's the difference. And everywhere I went— went, it didn't feel like that, you know? So as I thought about it, I'm like, all right, it'd be cool to work for that guy, but then go and visit, that wouldn't be that cool in my mind, right? For me. And I think not fun, but quality of life, you know, comes into play a little bit.

And when you're the head coach, you get to control that a little bit more than, you know, who's above you. And, and, you know, how challenging is that relationship going to be? Because the energy you bring into that room, the positivity, changes the entire culture of the entire community.

Yeah. Realistically. Fuck, I think I'm buying stock in UCLA.

Yeah, you should, you should. You're hired. I think, uh, I think Sahir West is a name that people are gonna start to figure out pretty quickly this year. Um, can you just talk about like what he is like as a player, the impact he makes on defense, and like obviously he was probably your number one guy that you wanted to bring with you to UCLA, and how good do you think he could be in this league?

Yeah, well, Sahir West was coming with us to Holy cross at the beginning, and then we ended up going to JMU. So he came with us to JMU. We redshirted him that first year, knowing full well how good he was going to be, but needed to redshirt him because he needed another year mentally. And then that second year, he just— the second half of the second year too, he just really came alive. And he is just a— he's a different kid as far as the work he puts in, as far— he's around the facility all the time, constantly there, you know. He's in the weight room all the time. He's out on the field working on his up all the time. He's just a guy that's fully committed not only to this program but also to his own personal development. Miles Garrett was there the other day and he was working out with Zaheer and helping Zaheer a little bit. And those were things to me that any opportunity he has to, you know, find a way to get better, he's going to do that.

Yeah. Yeah. He's an awesome player. Violent, violent dude when he hits the quarterback. People at UCLA are going to love him.

I don't know if you know the story, but at JMU when he was redshirting, he didn't And then obviously didn't play us. I think we played him in a game or two maybe, but we were trying to save his redshirt. But before he ever played a game, I think it was a punter that ran— something happened on the sideline and a fight, like sort of a fight happened and everybody else is breaking up and Seher punches the kid in the face and takes a 15-yard penalty. And I remember being like, you don't even play, you're not even on this field and you're already collecting a 15-yard penalty. But that's the type of player he is. And I think for us to be able to rein him back in a little bit and use that violence and that, you know, aggressiveness for, for good.

Learn when to unleash it. That's right, exactly. Was it, was it weird at all coaching JMU last year knowing that you were leaving after that happened? I know that there was like an agreement, like, I'm going to do this, you were able to— and then Billy Napier obviously kind of in the mix too. What's that like, like watching another man coach your team? Well, I—

it wasn't that way. So Billy Napier was there and just there as an observer. All of his assistants stayed up in the press box, and they were just kind of collecting numbers on, on what kids— what he and I spoke, were very transparent about who I think would come with us. But I told them, we don't— we're not having a single conversation right now with these guys about that. We are— and I refuse to let our coaches have that conversation. So we're going to play the season out. When the season's over, then we'll have those conversations with them. But then it gets a little tricky because they're not in the portal yet, right? But you're now coaching at a different place, so it's technically tampering. So we didn't to talk to these guys until the portal opened. And when the portal opened, we called, they're like, guys, where were you? Everybody's been calling us the past— I'm like, well, it's— we didn't want to get caught up in like this tampering thing, but I guess everybody else was except for us. But it ended up working out that 10 of them were able to come with us.

But it wasn't weird, it was something that I felt strongly about because I think when you have a, a new coach coming in to a program that's had success, that's a challenge in and of itself. I did I did it when I came for the bowl game, the issue was none of the staff was left. It was just a bunch of guys put together to finish that bowl game in that Armed Forces Bowl or whatever it was. But if I had the ability to say, why are you winning? Let me watch how practice works. Let me watch a lift. Let me sit on a meeting. Let me be present. I'll be a fly on the wall, but I do want to see what this culture is like because I don't want to dissolve it all the minute that you walk out the door. And I really, you know, think that's a brilliant move. And I was really proud of, you know, Billy for putting the ego aside and saying, all right, let me learn how they do it. 'Cause there's a great culture here. How do I just keep this culture advancing it and accelerating as opposed to get these guys outta here and let me become the new head coach?

Yeah, it makes sense. Can I give you a tip?

Yeah, please. Okay. So you're a good looking guy. I feel like I can say that. Guys can compliment guys. We should normalize that more. Good looking guy, UCLA, LA. Big city, people have thoughts about California, the colors are cool. I think you got to do something to remind people that you're from a coal mining town in Pennsylvania, you know what I mean? Like, because that is— that's where coaches come from. Yeah, I don't know what it is, maybe you can tell me, but like, if you're— if you're from like Youngstown, Ohio, or somewhere in Pennsylvania west of Philadelphia, I'm like, that's a coach.

Yeah, well, I think it's— first of all, it's the entire community, you know. You go to a Friday game, there's not one there's not one restaurant open anymore. There's not one store, there's nothing. The whole entire, that's the time to go rob any house you wanna rob. Yeah. In those towns. 'Cause everybody's at the game. So it's one of those things to me that I think, first of all, that's it, right? The, the culture and the community is part of it. So it's not like you kind of like football, you're living football. Mm-hmm. Every single day. And so is your grandmother and so is your grandfather and so is your cousins. Everybody is living for this team. I think that's one. So the passion's different in those towns. The other thing I think is, is this is not an easy job regarding the work ethic. And in these blue collar tough towns, like everybody works. I mean, I picked up a shovel for my entire life, you know, even when I was still coaching in college for the first 2 years, I was going back and working job, like labor jobs. I started at 14 and was doing, it was just what people did.

You didn't complain about it. So the hard work, the passion for the sport, right? And the toughness. I think all those 3 things, you know, come into play. And I think that is a lot has a lot to do with why you see guys from those types of areas, you know, succeed.

Yeah, so you need to figure out— I don't know what it is. Yeah, I like maybe a shovel in your office. I don't know, but I could see it going sideways on you because again, you're a good-looking guy and like the, the light blue colors in LA. Yeah, you gotta just remind people.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe, maybe you— let's think about that.

You and Mick Cronin could like team up and beat up Ryan Gosling out there. Like, yeah, get into a bar fight together. Yeah, I feel like he's got the same thing where like he's a hot guy. Yeah. And so he's gotta like, Cronin. Yeah. He has to remind people like, hey, super tan behind the, behind the pretty face and the nice tan. Yeah. Like these knuckles still work. That's right.

Yeah. Very run. I'll talk to him about it.

I'll talk to him about it.

It is a good idea.

It is a good idea. He is a blue guy. He actually has done a good job of like keeping that grit. He instilled grit in the UCLA basketball program. And like everyone thought it was a weird fit, him coming from the Midwest out there. And so he's, he's obviously a great coach. I would, I would love to see you two teaming up like the new Bash Brothers.

You guys have good ideas this early in the morning too. It's unbelievable. What's your—

do you have an acronym that you go to for your team, like a saying?

Okay, I mean, are you talking about like what our core values—

yeah, what are your core values?

So what we talk about is— and this doesn't have to do with football, I'm going to present it in football— but we talk about attention to detail, positive attitude, urgency, and relentlessness, right? So here's APER. Here's my— that's the problem.

That doesn't really work. Doesn't work.

But that's a— that's the— that's the feeling for me. That's the feeling for me. It's like when I think about everybody successful in my life, they all paid attention to all the little things. Yeah, right. They stay positive when shit gets tough, and at the same point in time, right, they attack it relentlessly and urgently over and over again. I think if you go through life passive, negative, and don't pay attention to anything, you're destined for failure. And if you do these other things— these are not lessons for football, they're going to be presented that way— but ultimately it's anything in life that you want to be good at, you better pay attention. Think about about, I don't know, going skiing or something, right? You gotta pay attention to little things. You gotta stay positive when you fall down. You gotta attack it. And then once you— that happens, you got to get up and do it again and again and again until you get it right. So I think those are the things for me that I want to make sure that our team understands, is it's not just football lessons, they have to be life lessons.

And I want to lead the nation in development, like, on and off the field. Like, that's important to me.

Uh, Blutman, do you have a question?

Yeah, yeah, I do.

Come on Come on up.

This is the guy that's gonna be holding your feet to the fire. Yep.

And he will. He also used— he— I'm gonna, I'm gonna toot my guy's horn here for a second. He's got an eye for talent. So you should, you should maybe have someone talk to him when transfer portal comes around because he has like, yeah, receipts of guys that he's called out from lower level because he watches basically every college football game. Lower level guys that end up being like studs. Done. Yeah, direct line. I was watching Dobbs at Holy Cross. Yeah, yeah, of course. That's why we took him. Okay, question time. All right, question time. Your dad, what a character he is involved in practice. No, no, not Kenny. Okay, his dad's an incredible figure that shows up at practice, has a blast with the players and everything. How's he been doing?

How's he enjoying LA? So, as just so you know, my father is in Amarillo, Texas right now, driving cross the country with my mother. Okay. Because he learned that it was gonna cost $3,000 to ship his car. Yeah. But for, he could do it for $2,200 so he could save $800 and drive across the country. So. Okay. He's in the process of doing that right now.

So he's moving out to LA.

Yeah, for the season. That's awesome. Yep. Okay. Yep.

I love that. How about Mikey V?

Mikey V will be back as well for camp. All right, that's good. Yeah, so those two are important. I'm not joking either. They're really, really important to me. They're, they're just guys.

You want to share some of these inside jokes you're doing? When we went the other month, Kadic and I are just watching practice and Mikey V goes up to us and he's like, all right, here's what's gonna happen. They're gonna do this, this, this. They did none of that. We end up learning Mikey V's not on staff. He's there. He thinks he's a coach. He's your friend?

He is a coach.

He thinks he's a coach. He's your friend? How do you know?

So he was our football op. He was in charge of our football ops when I first got there. He coached our running backs into D2 world. Okay. But it's like one of our players, there's a windstorm, a tree falls on their porch and hits their— So at 5:00 AM, he shows up, gets the call, shows up with a chainsaw, removes the tree, cuts it all up. So he's your big dom. I mean, he does anything.

He takes care of everything.

Whatever you could think of, he takes care of. Mikey V. What's his name?

What's his boss? No golf carts.

Volcano. Okay. Oh, so he's in a kaizan.

I love that. Wait, wait.

His name is Mike Volcano? Yes. All right, we're Mikey V guys.

Oh, you're being huge Mikey V guys. And you put Senior and Mikey V in the same room, forget about it.

Okay, yeah, that's all. He's still got the Subway. Yes. All right, I like this. That was a good question. Subway, is it in a Walmart? It's in a Walmart.

Okay. Yeah, I like everything.

All right, Blubbin, your, your question came around because for a minute there you were just literally having a private conversation. We're talking in code. That's my bad. Final question from me. You've been on the job for a few months now. Now, what do you hate about USC? What have you learned to hate about USC? I don't worry.

I honestly, to me, we have enough things we got to work on, you know, in that game. So later in, so much later in the season that, you know, the, who knows where we're at both at when we get to that point in time. So for me, it's not about that. It's about how do we handle this on a day-to-day basis? And I understand and I respect the rivalry and, and the bad blood between them both. And that's great for the town. It's great for the community. We just got to do a better job of holding up our end of the bar bargain in that game. And that's what, you know, we're focused on.

We had Coach Riley on the show, uh, and I'll tell you right now, Stinkin' Riley does bother him. Yeah. So just hold that in your back pocket. Yeah, we brought it up and it was, you know, you could see he was a little like, ah, fuck, you guys brought up the stinking thing.

Yeah. The, uh, that's actually a great way to answer that question. It's like, I don't really think about them.

Yeah. Yeah. They, they hate that.

They hate the fact that you didn't come in here like, I can't wait to get there.

No, I think we have enough stuff of our own to keep—

you already promised a Big Ten championship.

That's right, I gotta work on that.

Yeah. Um, are you intimidated? There's a lot of great coaches in the Big Ten. Um, are you intimidated by Ryan Day's nipple ring?

I didn't know he had a nipple ring. Well, look at that.

He could have one.

It might be a Photoshop. Okay, I got his back on this. I'm pretty sure it's just a Photoshop.

Well, what if his— what if he wanted one? Then you have to have his back on, on people living their truth.

Right? Yeah, I guess so.

Okay. All right.

Uh, would you get one if you won a national championship?

A nipple ring? Yeah. No, I would not. Okay. Would Mikey V? Maybe.

Yeah.

No, I think you've got to just say it right there.

Mikey V's getting a nipple ring if you win the title.

Put that out there. I like it. All right.

Uh, we got one last question. Zach, come on up. Rowback question. R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com. Promo code TIGG, 20% off your first purchase. Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, SportsRowback.com, promo code Take.

All right, Zach, great job.

Good hustle. Good hustle, sir.

How are you doing? How you doing today, sir? I did have a quick question for you. Sure. What do you say to the haters that say there's no grit in Los Angeles?

I say that, uh, I first— I don't— I did not hear that myself. Oh no, I think when I look at our team, when I look at our team, I see a lot of guys full of grit at this moment, and I think that's what we have to just continue to develop. I, I think, you know, Liam could talk about it, Katie could talk a little bit about it, but the competition and the way that we go about our day-to-day basis, there's nothing that's easy about it. It's tough, it's physical, it is demanding, and it's competitive as hell. And that's what they have to be thrown into that furnace every single day. That's just to play football. I don't care where you're at. If you're in Harrisonburg, Virginia, or in the coal mines of Pennsylvania, it doesn't matter. The game gets played a certain way, period. And I think that's important for me to make sure that our guys understand that and make sure that they don't understand it, but they also live it every single day. And they've done a great job accepting that challenge. Challenge up to this point.

Good job, Zach. Do you want to follow up?

I got nothing but respect for that answer.

Thank you for your time, Coach. Yeah, thank you.

Yeah, well, Coach, thank you so much. Uh, I'm a believer, especially this Mikey V thing. That was like late break.

Yeah, yeah, I'll bring him, I'll bring him back.

Yeah, listen, that was late breaking news. That's the type of guy we like. Do you have to have—

we're gonna have to meet him.

Super Bowl week, we're gonna have to come and meet Mikey V. We'll be out in LA. Oh, easy. Okay, he might have to drive us around.

He will, he actually will, he actually will.

That would be— oh, it's a subway Walmart. He thinks he's a coach. I like this guy.

Oh, he's a coach. He is a coach. He's one of our, our better coaches.

Oh, all right. Well, thank you so much, Coach. Best of luck this year.

Yeah, thanks, guys. Appreciate it.

Coach Chesney was brought to you by our great friends over at Twisted Tea. Twisted Tea. Hit the river, hit the beach this summer, grab an ice cold Twisted Tea, bring it out on the course with you. Summer is here, it's the perfect drink. And now we've got the Twisted Tea Summer Party pack. That's where you got the brand new Twisted Lemonade. It's— Twisted Tea is refreshing hard iced tea. It's made with real brewed tea and 5% alcohol. It's got a summer party pack. That's where you can find the Twisted Lemonade. It's refreshing hard lemonade made with real lemons. It's only available in their new party pack. Grab it while you can. If you're hanging out at the bar, hitting the lake, hitting the beach for a weekend, if you're day drinking with friends, Twisted Tea is there to turn your day up a notch. Make a good time a great time. Keep the good times going all day, all summer long. Keep it twisted with Twisted Tea. And now here's Joel Klatt.

Okay, we now welcome on a very, very special guest. It's our good friend Joel Klatt. We're here at Big Ten Media Week, I think it is.

I would guess like 3 days.

Yeah, they have to split it up. Uh, but it's great to see you, Joel. It feels like football is right around the corner.

Cannot wait, cannot wait for football season. This is the time of year I'm like jonesin' to get back out there. So, uh, and it should be a great year. Like I keep saying this, I feel like I'm the guy that's like, hey, everyone talks about the problems in college football. College football is amazing right now. The product has never been better. Interest has never been higher. And we got a bunch of teams that could go win a national championship. Yeah. Which I love. Yeah. Like the parity. Maybe not Wisconsin. Sorry.

Listen, we're still, we're trying to build something back.

I like it. I like it. You're right.

Like I think that we do way too much of focusing on the negative where like 2 years ago the playoff wasn't very competitive. Right. And everyone talked about how it was broke. Why don't we talk about the fact that last year's playoff was awesome? It was incredible games. We had a Miami team that came out of not nowhere, but like no one thought they'd be to the national championship. Indiana is an unbelievable story. College football is awesome. No doubt.

And I think that there's a giant myth and it gets perpetuated by other, other platforms that like Indiana bought a championship. That, that was not an expensive roster, all things considered. And Miami was actually older than they were. You know, this idea that they were all 24 and 25, like that team, I don't know if there's ever been a better story in college football to be the losingest program in the history of the sport and to get all these guys from JMU and this castoff from Cal and you go win a national championship in this, this era and this day and age. I thought it was remarkable and it, and it really to me signifies what what this era can be about. Yeah. Which, which is development. Mm-hmm. Like there are, so I think that the most exper— the most important factor in, in now the sport is experience. Yeah. Yeah. And if you're not experienced, I don't think you can win.

So, so last year the speculation was that, that Mark Cuban and the boys didn't spend that much money on the roster, that they spent a little bit. Um, but, but what have you heard? Like, I, cuz I feel like Cuban, after seeing what happened last year, now the checkbook might really be opened up.

For them. Yeah. I mean, I don't think it's nearly what like an LSU is spending or what a Miami is spending, but it's, it's absolutely on par with some of the other teams that can go and win a national championship. I don't think Indiana is spending the most money in the Big Ten, and I don't know these numbers to be actually, you know, like I don't have access to the actual numbers. And candidly, I don't really want to. Yeah, I don't want to have that type of pressure on my shoulders. Shoulders. But yeah, I mean, they're, they're spending— I don't think that you can realistically compete for a national championship unless you're spending at a minimum $28 million. Yeah, it's kind of the nature of the beast now.

I want to push back on one thing though. Yeah, you said experience is, is like the biggest factor. I actually disagree. I think the number one factor is scheduling, because with all these super conferences now, and I know you've broken it down. There are years where teams will just have an easier schedule. Yeah, it's like a lottery.

Yeah, you win the lottery in your conference, right?

You have a gauntlet year, then you have a year where it's like, hey, we don't play any of the other big dogs, we can have our team healthy, we can be at the finish line. Because that was part of it. I mean, Indiana 100% deserved a national title the way they did it, but they also, you know, had a few nice things happen in their schedule where they were able to be healthy at again. Is there one team that you've looked at, maybe even you can go like conference by conference, Big Ten, SEC, Big 12, yeah, where it's like, hey, this team has a spot where it's like this is their season, this is their chance to make some noise because of the schedule? I think it's a combination though.

You're not wrong, you're not wrong at all. I think that the combination is that you have to have the right roster with the right experience and, and maybe hit that lottery that you're talking about. In particular, I think what you're referencing more is the in, in-conference schedule lottery with the big conferences. Two that jump out to me wildly is Georgia and Penn State out of the SEC and the Big Ten. I think Georgia got a really preferable schedule. I think they're all hard in the SEC. I think they're all hard in the Big Ten. But when you're avoiding like two or three of the other real playoff contenders, that's like, okay, this is, this is very favorable. I think Georgia has that, uh, out of the SEC. And then Penn State schedule, guys, if you look at it, that's a 10-win schedule, um, easy, and, and maybe more, you know. So even though I don't know if they're the best team in the Big Ten, I, I think that they're going to have a real chance to compete for a spot in that Big Ten championship game.

Yeah, yeah, it's, it's, it's weird. It's not like it's, it's not that you have an easy schedule, it's just if you happen to, or even if it's like the home games are, you know, lines up that you play Ohio State at home. That's right. Like Georgia plays— I don't know, does Georgia play Alabama this year?

Uh, they do. Okay. And I believe it's in Tuscaloosa, but that's, that's really their hardest. You're never going to avoid— right, you're going to have one, maybe two really tough games. Let me give you a great example. So Penn State, um, they've got to go to Michigan. That's a, that's a tough game. And, and they have to have USC come to them. Well, I think USC is going to be really good. Like really good. This is going to be Lincoln's best team, I think. But it just so happens that USC, you know, they've got to face Oregon, they've got to face Indiana and Ohio State and go to Penn State. Right. You know, like that's a really difficult schedule for a USC team, whereas Penn State doesn't have to deal with that. They don't have to play Ohio State, they don't have to play Oregon, they don't have to play Indiana.

That's right. If we went gun to your head, would you say Big Ten, another championship, or the field?

Uh, I would take the Big Ten over the field right now. I think that the field— so let's break it down. Like, how many teams right now do I think have like legitimate— before seeing them, because I think LSU could jump into this— but I think there's 7 teams that I'm like, yeah, they could absolutely win the national championship. So you've got, um, and maybe not in order, I'm going to come out with that in, in a little bit, um, but not in order, you've got Georgia, Texas, you've got Indiana, Oregon, Ohio State, You've got Notre Dame, you've got Miami. I think those are the 7. Again, no particular order. Those are the 7 that I'm like, okay, those, those teams can absolutely win a national championship.

Um, it's weird you have Notre Dame ranked 6th. I don't—

no particular order, no particular order. Um, I would take the Big Ten only, and let me— I'm tipping myself a little bit it here. Oregon's the only team with no questions. Number one. Yeah.

Well, you know, can they win the big one? That's the—

okay, there you go. Question. It's, it's, it's not a roster question, right? Right. Where everybody else, like, if you go down those, the rest of those 7 teams, Notre Dame, how are you replacing the running backs and the running game? Now maybe it's CJ Carr in the passing game with Jaden Greathouse, and yeah, that, that could be good. Ohio State, how are you replacing the defense. Who's catching the ball at Georgia? Can you run the football at Texas and protect, uh, protect Arch? How you're placing the line of scrimmage at Miami. Who do you— you know, is Hoover as good as Mendoza? Can you replace the running game? You're having to replace D'Angelo Ponds at Indiana. Then you look at Oregon and you're like, oh, football-wise on the field, there's no questions. They're going to have maybe the best defensive line in all of college football. They've got a Heisman Trophy candidate at quarterback. They've got backs, they've got receivers, they've got an excellent defense. So I would take the Big Ten over the field and it might be the fourth different Big Ten team to win it.

Yeah. And no LSU. You want to see LSU?

They're one of those— they're that team that like shows up to the party and the party's already going and they're kind of at the door and they're like, this looks awesome. Yeah. You know, like, I think it's going to be really good. They— I think that we might turn on the TV when they're playing Clemson and we're going to be like, oh, this is legit. I think their roster could be that good. Now, here's one thing, and I'm gonna— I always get labeled as like an SEC hater. I'm really not.

No, that's fine.

Yes. No, you said before we started taping, it's like, really glad this isn't SEC media day.

Yeah, yeah, you were like, yeah, team me up so I can just bash you. That's it.

We're like, we got you, dude. So unless— yeah, that's great.

LSU. Yeah. No, why do you hate the South?

Yeah, that's right. Well, let's get into this philosophically.

Hold on, there's been forever— it's been— there's people who have carried water for the SEC. It's fine that— it's nice that we're fighting back, you know, guys like us being like, fuck the SEC. But well, even, even when—

but when they were the The best. I called them the best. Yeah. You know, and they, they were the best. There's no doubt. It's not the case anymore. No matter what anybody says and no matter what his credentials are, it's not the best conference down there right now. Yeah, it's just not. You can— it's— and by the way, it's not just that the Big Ten's winning national championships. You can go down the metrics. Okay. College football playoff record. Big Ten owns them in the last 3 years. Uh, first round draft picks last year. Big Ten, most first round draft picks. Overall bowl record, Big Ten over the SEC. Like, you can go down the list over and over again. And right now the best conference is the Big Ten. LSU, they're expecting Lane to do something he's never done. So like, think about that.

Stick around for 5 years?

Well, stick around. And he's never won a Power Four conference. Yeah. You know, like, you want to—

like, that's the thing too with the new setup. Like, is winning the conference even like, you know, like going to the conference? Yeah, that's the championship game is not the SEC championship game, which is a bummer. Talking about how the landscape of college football that it doesn't feel like it means as much. But yeah, it might be an advantage not to play in that game possibly.

And that's why most coaches will tell you they want to get rid of the championship games and that they, they want to expand the playoff and have those games played at home. On campus. But they're also asking Lane to, you know, he was a 10-win guy at Ole Miss and built something really special. There's, there's no doubt. This is a program that in the playoff era since 2014 has been to the College Football Playoff one time. Yeah, it's crazy. Now, it was a great run. Yeah, but they had a historically great offense. Historically great with Burrow winning the Heisman. And, and, and Chase and, and Jefferson on the outside. Like, that was an incredible— well, think about that offense, was, was, was wild. And now Lane comes in and they should be, they should be really good. You know, they also had the number one transfer class last year. How'd that work? Yeah, so I'm not throwing shade at LSU. I think LSU could be really good, and they would be that 8th team for me that has the, the chance to jump in that category story of potentially winning the championship.

You, you mentioned week 1 and LSU playing Clemson. Is Dabo on the hot seat? Like, what's going on here? If, if Clemson and the ACC is not— it— the SEC and the Big Ten have, have separated themselves from the ACC and the Big 12 a little bit. And if he can't win the ACC, or at least get to the ACC championship game, like, what, what's happening with Clemson in the future?

I hesitate so much to even talk about Clemson. I had them winning it all last year. Yeah, a lot of people did. I did like a preseason— Brandon Walker note. Yeah. And what am I— and they just totally flopped. I have no idea what to think about Clemson. None whatsoever. It wouldn't surprise me if they won the ACC and it wouldn't surprise me if they won 7 games and Is he on the hot seat? Probably not. Like, a guy like that is not on the hot seat. He built— he won 2 national championships, you know. Um, I just don't see them walking in and being like, hey man, like, thanks, you know, we're gonna go in a different direction. But you never know. This is a crazy era in college football.

I think it's more likely that Clemson is on the hot seat from Dabo. He puts them on the hot seat. You don't put me on the hot seat.

How does he do that?

At the end, at the end of the year, it's not the like it might not be a great fit anymore. Yeah, I mean, if we're being honest, Dabo's probably not happy, right? He's not— he hasn't been happy the way things have gone the last few years.

I don't think he's happy with the structure of college football overall, with the sport. Yeah, I would say that's very fair. I would— there's, there's a better chance of Dabo saying, you know what, like, uh, I'm good, and retiring early, like a Bob Stoops, or even Urban stepped away at a fairly young age, you know, all things considered. Nick kind of stepped away still suddenly there's a better chance that Dabo steps away than Clemson fires him.

Yeah, the whole sport's on the hot seat. He might, he might leave. That's right. He's putting the whole sport—

yeah, like, he's like, guys, but that's—

I mean, it is like he— it's not a shot at him. It's the facts. Like, he hasn't adapted as well as some of the other coaches, nor has he wanted to.

He's fought it. He's actively fought against it. Right.

Which is always like, it's so weird to me because, you know, Like, the one thing about Saban— and, and you could say anything because he's the best college football coach of all time, but I don't think people ever give him enough credit for the way he adapted to everything.

Oh, this is such a good take.

It's like the D— the way he won with defense and pounding the rock, then he went spread, and like, he, he was able to win in so many different ways in different schools. And you think of a guy like that, it's like, oh, he's got one way, it's Saban, it's his old school way. It's like, no, he adapted.

He, he was is brilliant at adapting. As soon as he saw, you know, he got into games when they're winning with defense, right? Like, they're, they're just grinding people out in the early 2010s. Remember that Notre Dame national champion? Yeah, wasn't even a contest. It's just like, we're tougher than you, we win it at the line of scrimmage. It's the Mark Ingram years. It's beating the Texas team in the Rose Bowl for a national championship. And then he started seeing in, like, Johnny Manziel, and he's like, uh, How— like, what, what am I supposed to do with that? I can't hold that guy to 3, right? I can't hold that guy to 9 in, in a game. Then he sees Deshaun, and he's getting in these games with offenses that are not built to go score 35, and he has to go score 35 in order to win. And he changed, and he changed, and he brought in Lane Kiffin, remember, who was like a pariah at time, brought in Lane Kiffin, didn't emphasize defense quite as much, although they still played quality defense. He just did it in a different hybrid type of way, more modern way.

So you're exactly right. He's done— and he's also— I've gone back and I can't— like, I cannot think of another head coach who has won national championships over multiple cycles of recruits at the same place. Yeah, if you look back through the history of college football, normally what you see is what Dabo was able to do, or what Kirby was able to do. And I know they're still trying to, to go on and win. What Urban did at two different schools, you know, all these— they build up their program, they have this window, it's open, they win multiple championships with a, with a very similar recruiting cycle. Even Tom Osborne in the '90s. And then, then it goes away and they can never replace face it, he won a championship with every cycle of recruiting. If you committed to Nick Saban, you won a national championship, which is bonkers. Yeah. So like, my, my praise and admiration for what he was able to do. He's the best. He's the greatest of all time.

Yeah. Yeah. What about the, uh, what about the 40 Acres, University of Texas? I feel like, um, going into last season, the expectations were pretty high. Yeah. This season, I mean, sky high. They're, they're higher. I tried to win the Heisman.

They had to go undefeated and win National Championship, right? That was it, right?

And Arch, you know, he struggled a little bit at times last year early, but he looked good. He ended up looking good. Um, this year, do you think that the expectations should be higher on Texas? Yes. And then the excitement level, I feel like I, I, if I put myself in the shoes of a Texas fan, I'm thinking about Arch coming in this year with a little bit more— my expectations are more in reality than they were last year because I think most fans saw him stepping in and thinking like, what if he just dominates the entire sport? Yeah. And now it's like, what if he's just really good?

I think that they were unrealistic last year and I think that they are— I think they're unrealistic this year on the opposite side. I don't think people realize how well he played late in the season. Everyone just blankets, oh, Arch struggled last year. Not in the second half of the year. Last year, he was one of the 3 best quarterbacks in the country with an offensive line that was not very effective, no running game whatsoever, and a stable of receivers that was subpar for Texas standards. And he still was outstanding late in the year. In fact, his last 3 games, he averaged, I think, 350 yards, close to that. Don't quote me on the exact number, but right around there, like 12 touchdowns, no interceptions. He didn't turn the ball over. Last half of the year, he had like 20 total touchdowns, only 2 turnovers. He was fantastic without a great, I would say, cast around him. And now they've, they've fixed that. They've brought in some transfers. They've fixed some part of the offense. Their offensive line should be better. They have to run the football more efficiently and they should be better on the outside with a guy that I think could just take the sport by storm this year, Cam Coleman.

Bullman. So my expectations for Arch elevated from a year ago. My expectations from Texas elevated from a year ago. If they're not better, something went horribly wrong.

Yeah, like the one that, that Ohio State game early, it feels like that will be the, hey, where measuring stick, where are you from last year where that couldn't have gone worse for them? I know it was a close game in the, you know, yeah, the final final, but we all watched it.

They didn't. Yeah, it wasn't that close, right? And, and it didn't force— Ohio State didn't have to do anything, right, with Julian Zane. Um, and admittedly so, talking with, with Ryan after the game, uh, that's a monster game, both of those teams, because they each, um, they each have tough conference schedules after that. And so a loss in that game puts you really behind the 8-ball in terms of like, are you going to make a playoff run or You know, that game at home, if Ohio State— I just keep saying, thinking to myself, if Ohio State were to go down there and lose, what's the impact on Ohio State, right? I don't know, probably not much. They'll go on and, you know, again, tough schedule, we'll see, right? I know that's a very passionate fan base, but it ain't like losing to Michigan, right? Right. If Ohio State goes down there and beats Texas, what's the impact of that result? And I think that's a much more dramatic result result and impact on that program, meaning Texas, if that result were to happen with this team, with the money that they've spent, with what's happened over the last couple of years, the, the beginning of last season, I think people would be really frustrated down in Texas.

Yeah, Ohio State were to go down there.

I would agree with that. And with, um, with Notre Dame this year, if the over-under, over-under, uh, what is it, 11.5? Yeah, over-under half a loss. Loss for Notre Dame before we get to the playoffs. Talk about the schedule lottery. Yeah, no, I mean, I mean, they make your own schedule.

They make the lottery and then win it. That is—

which is nice. Yeah. Um, that's a good team, guys.

No, it's really good. But the thing is, last year where it's like easy schedule, great, but when you're an independent like Notre Dame, if you lose 2 games now, they won't go at 10-2. You don't get the, the makeup games later in the season. That's what killed them last year.

They have to be 11-1. Yep. This year in order to go, because the schedule just won't allow it. There's too many— again, like a 9-3 Ohio State or a 9-3 Texas is much better than a 10-2 Notre Dame this year. No question. Go look at the schedules and the games that they would have had to win to be 9-3, um, much less 10-2 or so on. So I do think that it puts some pressure on them to win those games. But the Miami game is really— but they only have really two games that they could potentially lose, all due respect.

You're not counting the Badgers.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Hey, listen, you know, everyone's gonna sleep on us and we'll probably go 7-5.

So you're saying Miami and then— he says it nonchalantly.

7-5 would be incredible.

Yeah, it'd be great. We, we got the schedule lottery this year. Yeah, that's true. Last year was the worst schedule in the league. Terrible.

So yeah, Miami, maybe BYU.

BYU in Provo, that's a sneaky, really tough place to play. Yeah. And then Miami.

What about, what about UNC? Things seem to be in the right direction down there. They do? Yeah. Okay. We, I mean, we just spent some time there a couple months ago. Unless something's changed in the last couple months, I'm, I'm buying all the stock in you.

As are you? Yeah. Okay, well, we'll see what their internal, uh, you know, I don't know, I'll, I'll decline to comment until after. Whatever. Seems messy. It seems very messy. No, I don't, I don't think UNC is I don't think that's going to work.

Yeah. Yeah. What are you buying Bryce Underwood stock? I can't figure it out because last year there were flashes, but then there were games where it's like, what's going on? And I don't know if that's coaching where it felt like they were holding him back a little bit or if it's, hey, they were holding him back for a reason. He wasn't able to do the things that you want him to be able to do.

I think that there was elements of both. I think he needs to develop true quarterback skills. And I also think that they were trying to be patient, calm, whatever you want to say, hold him back a little bit. Now, this match, I think, fits him perfectly with Jason Beck. Mm-hmm. If you look at what Beck did with Devin Dampier over the last couple of years, it was dynamic. Dynamic. Dynamic. Dampier led all of FBS quarterbacks 2 years ago in New Mexico in terms of running the football and his production as a rusher. Then he came to Utah. Between him and Bird Ficklin, who came in at times when Dampier was injured, they led all of college football in terms of quarterback production on the ground. Now, I'm not saying Bryce Underwood is going to lead the nation in quarterback production, but if it just increases, right, then then Michigan has something and there is going to be a sweet spot. If Bryce Underwood can run for between 500 and 800 yards this year and what that would mean to their run game with Jordan Marshall and Savion Heider, who's apparently like incredible and I can't wait to watch him play.

They've got really good players on the outside and I think defensively they're going to be sneaky, very, very good. John Henry Daly, this transfer from Utah, See, you were out there in Utah, remember? Incredible. It's an incredible place and their players always get slept on. Yeah. A couple of them drafted in the first round last year. I think Michigan has a sneaky chance to be, be pretty good. Their schedule is horrendous. Yeah. And very, very difficult.

No, I think Kyle Whittingham is like— he's been probably the most underrated head coach for a decade now. Yeah. It's like he, you know, every single year and then it faded a little towards the end here, but it was He's always so consistent, right?

Okay, maybe he didn't win a championship or a national championship, but so consistent. I used to say all the time on my show, it's like death, taxes, and Utah football.

Yeah, Utah at night especially.

Yeah. Yeah. And, and if he can bring that level of toughness and line of scrimmage play to Michigan, I think that they have a chance to be pretty good.

Yeah. Can you give us your preseason top 5 quarterbacks?

Yes. Do you want them in order?

Yes. No, actually, no, I, I want them in order, but Big Cat doesn't. Give us jumbled and then we'll guess the order.

Okay, great. Okay, uh, jumbled. Uh, CJ Carr, 1. Julian Sayin, uh, Dante Moore.

No, he's 1 because you had Oregon wrecked 1.

Okay, um, Dante Moore, um, uh, I'm forgetting one. Trinidad Chambliss. Okay, and I'm, I'm blanking on one, so this is definitely not high. Jaden Myava. All right, so he's 5. All right, so Jaden's 5.

I think it's I think CJ Carr's one.

And Arch, I, I need to put Arch on there. All right, all right, you really are—

so Arch is not top 5. All right, I think it's— fuck, I think it's got to be Moore because he had Oregon ranked number 1.

Moore 1, Carr 2, Sayin 3, Mayava 5, and then who is 4? Trinidad. Trinidad. All right, now tell us your top 5.

That was, that was, that was very good. Okay, I'm still debating right now between Carr and Arch. One—

wait, you don't even know your own top top 5? Uh-huh. You don't know your top 5? No, I haven't done it yet.

Oh my God, I'm recording it this—

you set us up for failure for this exercise that we created. We created 10 seconds ago.

We could have guessed anything and you could have just switched your pick in your head.

You're wrong. That's right, that's right. Like, like true digital media guys, you know what I mean? Like, what, what are we talking about?

It's a real who's on first segment we're doing. Exactly.

Yeah. So, okay, so, so Arch tied with who? Card number 1. I think Carr could be outstanding.

I do too. Dante Moore, 3. Julian Sayin, 4. And, um, Trinidad Chambliss at 5.

Okay, and which one of those guys do you think would be the best NFL quarterback? Oh, that's a, that's a great one.

CJ Carr. Yeah. Okay, he looks— is he too jacked? He looks real now.

Is there too much muscle you can put on as a quarterback?

No, we'll have to ask Brady Quinn. Yeah, those EA Sports or the EA drinks. Yeah, like, now I'm done. Fun. Yeah, maybe he was too. Yeah.

Hey, do you get— do you get to watch the NFL? A little bit.

I watch as a fan. What is—

what is a little bit? Like, what are we talking?

Well, we— so I get home Saturday night usually and then wake up. We always go to church as a family, and then we come home and like football is on. But unless it's the Broncos, it's just kind of like on as we're hanging out. Okay. Um, but if it's the Broncos, and you're watching all the way in. Okay.

What did you think about Sean Payton saying that he was to hire Bill Belichick to come in, break the record, and then afterwards Belichick could leave and Sean would resume coaching the team.

That sounds like Sean. It does. I actually, I actually played for Sean in New Orleans for like a couple of months. It's not— it's— but in OTAs, he gave me a contract as an undrafted free agent his first year before they had— he had coached a game. Quick story, that's the Reggie Bush draft and Marcus Colston draft. And so I go down, I'm on the flight to go to rookie minicamp, don't have a contract, undrafted, unsigned, and I go down and I'm in like 35E in the plane, you know, and I walk past and it's a flight from Denver and they had flown Reggie commercial and he connected in Denver and Reggie was up in first class and I was like, remember in 2006, I was like, that's Reggie Bush, right? And even I was super impressed. We get down to the baggage claim and I just kind of had like a regular, like, you know, sweats on or whatever, getting ready to go to camp. And Reggie thought that I was one of the GAs, or like the quality control coaches from the Saints. So he rolls me his bag off of the carousel.

Oh no.

And I was like, do I tell him right now or do I just take the bag? And I was like, definitely just taking the bag. So I just carried his bag to the bus. Oh, that's brutal. I get on the bus and I'm sitting behind him and he was kind of like, oh, Oh, hey man, I'm sorry. And I'm like, no worries. And then I was handing him the football off. He's like, first carries in the NFL, I'm the one handing him off. Oh gosh.

I guess Colorado was in the Big 12 then, right? Yeah. Yeah. So he wouldn't— that would have been, that would have been really tough if it was Colorado was in the Pac-12. Oh yeah. Ultimate disrespect. Wasn't happening.

If he had played against you, did he give you a tip?

Do you hand you a little 50? Folded up 20, like, thank you.

No, he didn't. That's— he hadn't had his bonus yet, I guess.

Signing bonus. Oh my gosh.

Another real quick story, you guys. I mean, you can cut it out, but we were throwing one-on-ones and, and I thought Sean was really impressed with me because he came over and he kept being like, all right, hey, throw him on the back shoulder here. Okay, now that guy over there, lead him down the, down the field. Okay, make him jump. And I'm like, this guy thinks I'm so good I can just put it all over the place. He was so impressed with Marcus Colston out on the outside. So he was having me throw him footballs like in different spots so that he could go get it.

Yeah. Marcus Colston was a beast. He was so good.

So he was, yeah. Yeah. And he was like a 7th round pick. Yeah. Right.

Right. He was probably like, Joel's gonna throw a slightly inaccurate ball. So yeah. He's like, this guy looks like he's throwing absolute ducks. Yeah. We'll cut this. We'll cut that story. Terrible story. It's funny that, I mean, the fact that Reggie was like, hey, can you grab this bag for me?

Oh, he didn't even ask, he just rolled it to me.

Oh, just silently?

Yeah, just like, you know, and I was just like, yeah.

But now you have an, now you have an answer if anyone ever asks what was your welcome to the NFL moment.

There you go. Yeah, yeah.

Well, it didn't happen on the field, but, but that's right.

And I'll pay you a compliment, like, I, I do feel like listening to you, whether you're, you're commentating on a game or listen to the podcast, I do feel smarter about the game, about college football after. You're able to explain it succinctly in a very clear way that I I think is, is pretty valuable for a lot of people out there. Do sometimes when you're, when you're thinking of, because you put a lot of thoughts into your take, I can tell, um, do you think like this, no, this takes too dumb? Yeah. And then you have to go back and rework, because we think that all the time, but we just go with, we just go with the dumb take.

I mean, yeah, as you guys know, like if you talk enough, you're going to say something you're like, nah, you hate March Madness.

Oh yeah, that's right.

Remember that, remember that, that was a, and the SEC Oh yeah, that was a really bad one. And what I get frustrated more, I'm too, listen, I'm too proud to actually have the take be wrong as much as I'm like, I didn't say it right. You know? It's cop out. Yeah.

You gotta just be like, hand up, I'm an idiot.

Yeah, that's right. Yeah, that's what we do. Yeah. Yeah. So we're always wrong. But then in the game, the thing I love more than anything is if I can unlock the game like a Rubik's Cube Cube and like bring the viewers into the game. What's happening? What's going on? What are the coordinators thinking about right now? And so I always just think about, don't, don't commentate the game through the rearview mirror. Like, everybody knows what just happened, you know. Stop talking about the replay. Look through the windshield, you know. Try to take the viewer forward, push forward, and explain why. Why is this going on? Why is this coach thinking this? Why Why is this quarterback being successful? Why is the defense being successful? So that's, that's what I'm constantly like churning in my head.

You've also reached— I think I've given you this comment, but I'll do it again because you've reached the big game voice status too.

Oh, nice.

Where it's like, it's a, it's an innate feeling of you turn on the TV and you hear certain guys, you're like, big game. I love it. So you've gotten there.

I'll take it. Yeah, I'll take it.

You can feel it, especially like the Northwestern-Oregon game that— Boom. Yeah, that was big game.

On the, on the, the lacrosse field.

Tough place to play. Yeah. The whole pregame, we did Big Noon. I was like, this team, like, you played Northwestern 11 AM in Evanston. That's a sleepy spot. Yeah.

What are you going to do? I think Oregon didn't fight well. Yeah.

I don't think they did.

Yeah. They won easily.

I remember Dan was all pissed after the game. Yeah. We didn't stop the run. It's like, you didn't stop it against Indiana either. Yeah.

So, you know, tough place to play. I've got a really dumb question for you.

I love it.

And you're, you're probably going to be asked this a few times. I feel like it's going to be a popular topic over the next month or So who is this year's Indiana? Yeah. Which is such a stupid question.

Yeah, it is. But that's okay. A team that we don't think of as anything right now that could— are you saying Indiana to win a national championship or Indiana to just do what they did in the— in Sig's first year?

I think those are two different things. I think, I think the question when it's typically asked will not get any clearer than that. But I think what I'm really asking is what's a, what's a major, like a major conference team that might look to make some noise, be included in some of the projections for the playoffs, maybe even sneak into the playoff at the end of the season that you don't think about? Oklahoma State. Okay. Turn it around pretty quick.

Yep. I mean, it's the exact same blueprint. You get a guy, he brings everybody with him, including players. You know, I think that's, that's a really fascinating one for me, especially in that conference, because they're all so They're all so similar. There's no one that's running out, out away from them. Maybe Texas Tech is. I don't want to take anything away from Texas Tech. And then the other one, this might not be a playoff team, but like sneaky UCLA. Yeah.

Well, that's the right answer.

Yeah. Sneaky UCLA. Yeah. Okay.

That's the right answer for the, for the Indiana question because it's, it's Chesney. Yeah. And he brought the whole Harrisonburg West with him.

Yeah. And they also have a great great quarterback. Yeah, I agree with that. A bad rap with everything that went down with Tennessee, but Nico Iamaliava is a really good player. I took—

you're really good at saying his name.

Oh, thank you. Yeah, yeah, I had to practice.

I got a little long shot on him to win the Heisman.

Oh, very long shot.

I love that. Probably won't happen, but he still has that skill set. He could be good, and, and he, he did take major steps forward last year. Yep. And so he looked like— you saw flashes where it's like, I get it, I understand why maybe there was a lot of hype around this guy, even if he hasn't like fulfilled that yet. But I do think that they could— I think their win total might be 5.5 this year.

And I would— I'm over on that one.

I would take the over on it.

Yeah. Yes, for sure. Who's this year's Penn State? Lose a close game, then everything falls apart. People get fired. Everyone freaks out. Mass hysteria.

Building's on fire.

Oh, fuck.

That's a, that's a great one. That's a great one. You have to— you guys will— I think you'll appreciate this. I really hesitate to answer that question. Yeah, right. Because you don't want to put that out into the atmosphere. But Alabama is the one.

Yeah. I mean, Alabama is the one. It feels like this is the year, like if, if, if things go sideways, they go really sideways.

Yeah, that's right. And I don't see that happening. The other one is Texas. Yeah. Like if you all of a sudden lose Ohio State, you lose at Tennessee and you lose Red River and you've got 3 losses at Texas by the time we're in the middle of October, then that's, you know, that's panic building on fire. Yeah. But then the Alabama thing, man, is I think Kalen is an excellent coach, but he doesn't run the football well enough. And there are times— and you know this better than anybody at Wisconsin— there are times when a fan base expects a certain brand of football. And if you're not giving them that brand, whether it could be successful or not, they don't like it. Yeah. It's just like, it's like a, it's like a taste at a restaurant. Could be a really good restaurant, but you don't like it. Yeah. And I think that that fan base and Kalen, like, it could be headed towards that. Type of deal.

I told Fickle this. I was like, listen, we— there's games that I'm okay with losing. But if you lose when you try to run the ball on 4th and 1 out of shotgun against USC, it's going to kill me. Like, you know, that's, that's going to drive me insane.

And when you try to handle it, when you, when you hire a guy to go air raid offense, right, you know, and, and change the defensive structure that we ran for years. Right.

And it's like everything I've known about football, Wisconsin should be able to get one single yard against USC. Of course they should. They maybe can't get 10 yards, maybe can get one. That's right.

Hey, 30 8, maybe we're in a sticky spot here, but 1 yard, this is what we're built for.

Yes. Yeah. Um, Zach, oh, go ahead.

Yeah, who's this year's Michigan? And you can take that whatever way you want.

So, and like, scandal dumpster fire?

I just want to put you on the spot. Yeah, I want to think of the worst possible school to ask you that question for. I think it's probably Michigan.

Or we could just do like, uh, Um, who's, who's this year's, uh, let's see, who's this year's— I'm trying to think of a team. Georgia. They did okay.

Which team do you think will rack up the most speeding arrests?

Yeah, yeah, they did okay. They had a pretty good year. They didn't really do that great, but they went to the playoffs.

Is it fair to say like it might be an indictment on Kirby smart as a head coach that he hasn't embedded himself and made enough friends in the Athens Police Department. I feel like back in the day, like, this doesn't get— yeah, we don't hear about this. Yeah.

You know, cell phones are a hell of a thing. Yeah. You know, back in the day when no one had cell phones, uh, I don't, I don't know what's— you don't have to answer anything.

You don't have to answer any of these.

This is a portion where we just try to make you uncomfortable.

Uh, all right, achieved. Roll back RHOBACK.com, promo code TAKES, 20% off your first purchase. Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. AROBAC.com, promo code TAKES. Joel has been awesome. We love having you.

I love being on.

I appreciate it.

We had a golf video planned. It was a bummer.

We're going to do it. We're going to do it. Yeah.

Zach, finish us off. I do, sir. I did have a quick question. Could you give us Joe Klatt's official Heisman Trophy winner for the season?

Oh, the official.

Yeah, sir. And it better be right.

It has to be. Has to be right. My only claim to fame is that I called the Florida State quarterback. Now I'm blanking. Jameis. Jameis. I called Jameis. How do you forget Jameis? I know, right? That's crazy. The crab legs and everything. How did I forget Jameis? If I have to be right, have to be right, sir, I've got to take Jeremiah Smith. Ooh.

You don't think there's going to be a split vote situation?

Yeah, certainly that's going to be a part of it. And Julian went last year. But this could be a year where a player's body of work is respected enough where they're like, no, he's been— He should be. He should be. He should be, you know, up there now. Does that always happen? No. I think Peyton would have gotten a body of work. Andrew Luck would have gotten a body of work. Heisman. But if I— if you said you have to be right, you have to bet your own money, I have to take Jeremiah Scott. Smith. He's, he's the best player in the sport.

Uh, to pivot, uh, is there anyone people— a lot of people are maybe talking highly of right now that you just know doesn't have a chance? If you were going to put your—

that same own money on it, is there a 20-year-old you hate?

Can we go back to March Madness so you can talk positively about—

we're gonna pivot, flip it, and reverse it.

Dark horse for the trophy. Okay, dark horse, dark horse for Trophy. I think Jaden Myava at USC. Lincoln has a knack for getting his quarterbacks to the finish line. He's got a schedule. If they all of a sudden mid-year beat Oregon at— in the Coliseum, Myava is going to be right up there. And then way dark horse, watch out for a guy like Turbo Richard, the new running back at Indiana.

I mean, I mean, I mean, that's a Heisman name, right?

Yeah, that's crazy. Turbo Richard.

Turbo Richard. Where's he from? He, he played at, uh, Boston College last this year. And here's the one— a couple of things that we have to know from Indiana's recent run. Kurt Cignetti, incredible evaluator. They're going to run the absolute heck out of the football. Look what they did to Alabama in the Rose Bowl. Yeah, 50 runs in that game, which was astonishing. And they have to run it in order to throw the RPOs. And they're going to have one of the best offensive lines in the country with Carter Smith, All-American back at left tackle. And he's not going to split carries as much as last year they did between, uh, Himby and, uh, Keelan Black. So I— watch out for Turbo Richard in the 1,400, 1,500-yard range. Yeah, that's just kind of a, um—

yeah, I mean, I would throw personally Malachi Tony in there.

I love maybe Jesus.

He's— I love Malachi Tony. So dynamic. I think, I think he's the second most dynamic player in, in college football to Smith. I think you kind of have to give Smith—

yeah, no, I agree. Yeah, it's a good point.

But Tony is, is unreal. Yeah, love that kid.

Um, all right, well, Joel, thank you as always.

Appreciate it. You're the best. And, uh, we will get this golf set up, although we didn't realize you were a +2.5, so that's— that is that kind of like— yeah, we thought you were—

do you guys want to just scramble? We could play like— so Shane Bacon, you got— everyone knows Shane, he's an excellent, excellent player. There, he and I could just like best ball against your scramble or something like that.

We were saying, do you think that 6 of us can beat you 2 of you in a scramble?

If we're scrambling, I don't think you can.

Yeah, I don't think so either. If we're doing—

if you're doing best balling and you're scrambling, I think that could be a good match.

I actually think that that's probably the way to go. Yeah, because we're not—

what would you scramble like, the 6 of you? Would you shoot like 4 or 5 under?

Uh, sure. Yeah, yeah, probably. Yeah, why not?

Like that? Why not? Okay, that's good. We played in, in, uh, Jim Harbaugh's, like, golf tournament 10 years ago about. Yeah, it was a long time ago. 9 years ago. And we did scramble as myself, Big Cat Hank, and Tony Scheffler. And this is before we played golf at all. Yeah. Uh, and I think we ended up shooting like 3 over. Yeah. Oh yeah, but now you're—

you're so mad at us. Was he really? Oh yeah, he was like, what do you got? It was like, it was at the turn and he was like, what are you guys shooting? We're like, +1. He's like, you know, it's scramble. And he just drove away.

Yeah, he was so upset.

He's like, these guys don't want to compete. Yeah, they don't want it.

They don't want it. All right.

Well, thanks, Joel.

I appreciate your time, guys. Thanks for having me on.

Okay, Fyre Fest of the week, wrapping it up. Henry. Oh, you don't have one? Not really. I see that face.

Yeah, I mean, it's, it's the same Fyre Fest that I had maybe like a month ago. I'm, and I'm, it's so I don't even want to, I don't want to repeat the conversation. Nope. The, we got crazy rain. My car roof is still fucked.

Oh, and it like, ever since you said I didn't have a sick car, your car has been—

yeah, I'm honestly, I'm, I'm, I'm thinking about just— I actually, you were doing the ad read earlier and I was listening because I love listening to our ads. Thank you. I actually might get a truck. I'm Chevy Silverado guy. Wow, really pivot from the sick to just like, man, yeah, you know, I mean, trucks can be sick too.

You, you're not that guy, pal.

Why not?

What are you going to use?

You're not that guy, pal. You're not a truck guy.

First car I ever had was a truck. I'm not that guy.

I want to be. I will get a Chevy Silverado if you get one. You want to go, want to go matchies? Yeah. Same color.

Not a big truck. I'm not going to be like the—

it's almost like you want a car that's like part car and part truck.

It's useful.

I mean, there's, there's cars that have like—

every time we get to drive it, it's so sick. Sick.

So yeah, but yeah, if that only existed.

My car, uh, look, there's a Silverado that's towing the El Camino. Oh, look, that's—

that would never happen. That's Hank right after the Wizards.

Yeah, that could be me.

That would never happen.

Yeah, because I'm going to have a sick car in like 8 months anyway.

Yeah, sick like hospital sick.

We saw NBA Johnny today and he was like— PFT was like, what do you think about the Wizards?

No, I was like, if you're going to be NBA Johnny, you got to— you got to talk about the Wizards.

Yeah. And he said, I think it's going to be like the Hornets last last year. Like, uh, that's not good. Need a little better than that.

I know. Then he clarified and said playoffs, 1 through 8, somewhere 1 through 8 and not 1 through 6.

Just to clarify, he never said that.

What do you mean? He never said playoffs? Yeah, he said 1 through 8.

No, you were cutting him off by when he was saying that.

He was like, yeah, hey, it might, it might be. He said 1 through 8 and then he said it's gonna be tough to be in the top 6. He said, we'll see. You're gaslighting. This is some gaslighting.

No, don't gaslight. Watch me gaslight. Okay, good. So you got a wet car?

Yeah. How wet is it?

Pretty wet. And then it like smells now. So it's, it's, it is what it is.

I gotta get it fixed. Yeah. I had a pretty good week.

What?

I had a really good week. Huh? Huh? I had a pretty good week this week.

You can't walk. You literally been in traction like pregnant.

You walked in, you walked in the studio, I don't know if that was yesterday or 2 days ago, and I felt bad.

You, you were screaming out of nowhere for like— I could see the pain.

There was— I had a spasm, a couple spasms, but I took steroids this morning, so I'm feeling better. I'm feeling strong. Um, but if anybody has anything better than steroids, I'm all ears to hear what it is.

So not a great week.

Not a great—

in fact, a pretty, a rough physical week, but you have a $4 million tournament coming up like in a week.

Every day you wake up above ground is a good day.

You're the most injured podcaster ever.

I know, I know, but I don't— that's why I don't want to talk because like no one wants to hear me complain about like an injury, but it does— having a, a fucked up back is bad.

It sucks. It's the worst.

This is Firefest. Yeah, yeah, well, he has had an injury like every week. Yeah, it's been like one thing. This last year has been really, really bad physically, which is tough, and I I don't— I— it's hard to get out of it when you have a bad back. But yeah, like Tuesday, Wednesday, this morning, it took me about like 30 minutes to get out of bed to like find a position where I can like finally— sounds like a pretty good week. But then once I get here, I can't complain. Got the best job in the world.

Hang out with the dream.

Living the dream. It's just my days get off to a slower start than they used to. And hopefully this— the steroids just work like— because I'm sick of doing the like, take really strong aspirin. Stuff. Yeah. So the steroids there, that's, that's my bitch right now. Okay. So we're going to see what happens with that. I should be good by the end of the weekend.

Okay. I got two Firefests real quick. One is I definitely had the diarrhea disease. I did white-knuckle it. I've just been chugging Pepto-Bismol every day. But it was— I think I'm in the clear, but it was 8 straight days. So I had it. I don't know how I got it because I didn't eat salad.

I had it last week. Lettuce.

Yeah, yeah, I don't, I don't eat lettuce, so I don't know how I got it.

How many burgers you had this summer?

I'm at like 58. Zero with lettuce?

No, there's been some lettuce.

There you go. Okay, I need to, by the way, I'm, I'm, I'm in some trouble with the burgers. I've slowed down significantly. I'm gonna have to have a week where I eat like 20. It's gonna be a problem. I'm actually, I'm about to eat 2. Donnie's about to make me 2. How, what am I at?

59. And you need to get to 100? 100 by Labor Day.

Yeah, I've slowed down.

You got a big weekend, didn't you?

I gotta, I gotta do— I gotta stack some days. I gotta stack some days.

So it's gonna be camp week. Well, camp week's gonna be the final push. I gotta do it.

Yeah, camp week's gonna be big. And then my real Fyre Fest though is, uh, Last night, the Pugs, 10 PM, first pitch, showed up. The other team no-showed. No email, no text, 10 PM, quacking balls. Fuck you guys. It is such a kick in the dick to have this happen.

And I know like 10 PM sucks, but it's like, all right, you're gonna have to do this like probably once a season, right? Everyone has to do it. To do it, and you gotta just— it sucks.

You gotta suck it up. Like, I did a whole— I had a whole night. Like, I went out to dinner with my wife, I came home, I watched the last 4 innings of the Cubs game. That sucked, uh, because the Cardinals walked off the Cubs. And then I was like, all right, time for softball. Like, get out, get out of bed. I was laying in bed. Get out of bed, go play softball. Once you get there, all you want to do is play. Guys completely no-showed, nothing. The only thing they did was one guy DM'd Max 30 minutes before the start of the game being like, hey, we're not gonna show. That is not enough.

We were at the field already. Just fucking email.

You knew you weren't gonna play. That is— you should be in jail. You should be in jail if, if you do that. If you, if you no-show a 10 PM softball game, you're just a piece of shit human being. I think that's fair to say, right?

I think half the, half the games that are played at 10 PM must be no-show, no-calls, right?

No, no, no, the Oh yeah, you take it seriously. Yeah, like that. I would never do that. Like, uh, in our team, the Pugs, we have, we have, we have had to forfeit a couple games because of our travel schedule and stuff. We are, we know we're forfeiting like 2 days in advance. We email them because it's like, that's just the right thing to do. You don't want to make people just show up to a softball field at 10 PM. Anyone who's ever played any type of adult intramural sport knows exactly what we're talking about. It is a true kick in the dick, and you are a true scumbag if you do this. So, Quokken Balls, we're coming for you. I don't know what else we're gonna do. I actually had to call off the dogs last night because Memes— like, I found the guy's LinkedIn. I was like, dude, chill out. Memes is one of those guys you gotta, you gotta every now and then pull on the leash.

Somebody that goes too far though. Yeah, but you gotta tell them not to.

But you gotta pull on the leash every now and then.

This kid got cooked. He got cooked.

He, he, he got ratioed to Hell, 1.3 million views. Yeah, no, we were just warming up. And you know that that's the worst feeling, is, is showing up to the field, warming up.

Was the umpire there? Yeah, yeah. Oh, I guess he was there for the game.

Yeah, warming up and being probably pumped. You know it, you know in the back of your head when you don't see a single person 10 minutes before the game, it's a can— it's, it's a no-show. But in the back of your head, you're also like maybe we're in the wrong field. Yeah, what if they're— yeah, like someone's like, oh, maybe they're down there at that field. It's like, no, that's another game. So you, you're doing the, the coping mechanisms where you're in denial, and then it just— it was— it sucked. It sucked, Max Memes.

It sucked. Yeah, well, the 10 PM aspect, because it's like we— I— we both did something earlier in the night. I went home and I I was like, fuck, I gotta like kill time before I go to this, this softball game. You go to the game super early because it's like, I got nothing else to do. I may as well just show up. We're waiting around watching other people play and then it's finally our turn to play. You just got to go.

All you want to do is play.

Like I could have just stayed home. I would have had a great night just staying home and not having to go to the 10 PM game.

I would rather lose a 10 PM game than win with a forfeit. In a notion. Oh, 100%. You still get to play. Still get to play.

And we just wasted our night.

I just got blueballed with softball. I wanted to play so bad.

We just wasted our night.

Yeah, because it is— it's like a mental thing that you have to get yourself pumped up for a 10:00 PM game. And once you go through that process to have it ripped from you, fuck crocketballs.

You may as well. It would have been so— it would have been so— that would actually been a great cancellation if we got a call from the league being like, hey, the other team— yes, that would have been an awesome— an awesome night. I was already in bed. Yeah, I can stay home. Yeah. The fact that we got up, went to the field, waited around for 30 minutes just to get back in the car and go home. Bullshit. Bullshit. Absolute bullshit. And some people got parking tickets because of it.

Jack McCarthy. But he also drives a Benz, which is so sick.

Yeah. Yeah.

C-Class. Did you guys see that? The Jack McCarthy tweet was like, pay for my parking ticket.

Yeah, I'm okay with that. But it was also—

yeah, he got the— he got— he made sure to get 100% of the Mercedes-Benz logo in it. Yeah, really let everyone know this is C-Class.

I fucking drive a Benz.

That's what he's telling everyone. All right, Zach, finish off.

My favorite thing this week is just, I guess, similar related to the fact that I have recently unlocked the square footage for a couch. So I've been in the market for a couch and it just seems like everybody who sells things online just lie because every couch is the best couch you've ever clicked on. And I just don't know who to believe. And I kind of have furniture trust issues. So all week I've been trying to do like due diligence and like be an adult and like research these things. Things. And there's just no way around it. Every guy with a couch says this is the best, your best option. That's just pretty much what I'm going through.

Have you tried it? I'm on like Facebook Marketplace.

I'm on like TikTok, Instagram. So you're—

are you learning all about the couches? Are you reached a point where there's like too much information about the couches?

No, there's this weird thing. There's like a pop in the couch market with boneless couches now where there's no frames on the inside.

Oh, the ones that come fake you, China, that you just like— they come like vacuum sealed, then you just let them open. Yes, like amoeba couches.

And they hide those in the listings of the couches that are structurally sound for guys who fluctuate. Yeah. So you just never know what you're going to get.

You can't get a boneless couch.

No, I know, I know that, but they hide them well because it looks— some of these photos look—

I have a suggestion, Zach. It might, it might be time to go to a furniture store. Yes, I'm saying, because if you buy a couch online, there's a non-zero chance it might be boneless. You don't know. You're not taking it for a spin. You got to take it for a spin.

There's like quite a bit of couch clickbait going on in the market.

This needs to be a, like, a pen and paper, flesh-to-flesh transaction. Ass on cushions. Ass to cushion. I would not buy a couch online. No. Okay.

Also, no, no free ads, but someone in Chicagoland, hook our boy up. Let's get him. Let's get him a couch. Someone, someone out there listening right now has some couches, furniture store. Let's get Zach in there.

Off the truck, on the truck.

Yeah. Get you in there. Feel a couch, lay in a couch. Zach, the question is, do you have enough room for a full couch or is it a two-seater?

I've got a— I got like 103 inches to work with.

If we're just going to go 103 inches, was that like 8?

And I think maybe 2.5 seats, maybe 3 seats, 9 feet.

What's max? What did you search?

8 feet. This is 103-inch couch right here. That's 8 feet. That's— yeah, that's Yeah, I felt like that was a— that was a good visual representation.

Oh no, I was just looking for the— what, 100— 8.5 feet. I was—

I was looking for that. But now you can see what a— what a 103-inch couch looks like.

Zach, you might be getting a couch that you can go fully sleep on.

You kind of eliminate the bedroom.

Yeah, maybe get the L. Yeah, get an L.

Yeah, but if you get the L, then you have to do like more socializing because you're like, if I have this many seats, you have to like hang out.

You don't have to. You don't have to invite anyone over.

You just get the to come.

You get the one. Oh, just go full L solo.

Yeah. Yeah, dude. What do you mean? All right. That's—

of course you get—

it's a good idea.

That was the best place to sit. That's where you're going to eat your meals. I'm confused.

What— why does that mean you have to socialize if you have the L? The L, the L just makes it more comfortable.

For a second, I just start looking at that many seats. You might be like, oh, I got to fill these seat voids. But never mind. You guys are correct.

You can sell, sell seats to your, to your living room.

No, I wasn't talking about charging coverage. I I preface with socialize.

OK, no, no, you get— you get yourself an L, dude. And someone please hook Zach up. Let's get that hooked up.

We're also going to need Zach to learn how to donate those big—

everyone was commenting he's got to donate those 90 shirts. He said just definitely donate those. Just throw those out.

Those shirts just— they, they like fall apart. You wash them once, like they're not— they're like not— they don't have the longevity of—

those are the shirts you're waiting on backorder for? Yeah, you can only wear once.

Yeah, but that low price point, you get the wears. They just, they tend to fall apart, that's all.

I'm gonna get you in some black shirts. I'm gonna get you some new shirts. Okay, good show, boys. Numbers: 23, 5, 89, 96, 86, 69. 6. 94. What'd you guess, Memes? 23. 98. Oh no, it's too off.

What'd you guess? 89. I guess 96.

Dang. All right, one more, one more. So as long as Memes doesn't win it, we're good.

I'm gonna take 5.

59. Anybody?

No. What's up? You get it?

What'd you pick, Colton?

Uh, happy birthday to Brian Arakpo and Mark Cuban. Happy birthday, uh, Tim Couch. Happy birthday to Bobby Althoff and Kipiki the rare spotless giraffe. And happy birthday to Scotty Barnes. And happy birthday to Francis Scott Key. Bars, bangers. Love you guys.

What happens when you lock 18 coworkers in an office for 1 week to compete for a quarter million dollars of cash? This is Surviving Barstool Season 5, presented by Rumble Premium. Each episode released 3 hours early, so get it ad-free before anyone else, only when you join Rumble Premium. Surviving Barstool premieres Sunday, August 9th at 5 PM on Rumble Premium and everywhere else at 8 PM.