Transcript of NHL Playoffs With Ryan Whitney, NFL Draft Recap, NBA Playoffs, Who’s Back Of The Week + We Get Involved In The Press Off New

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We're going to talk draft. NFL Draft 2026 is complete. We've got playoff action to talk about. We've got who's back of the week. It's a great Monday and it's brought to you by our friends at Chevy. Our AWLs know that Chevy Silverado is the official truck of Pardon My Take. That's because Silverado is a truck with grit that shows up every time, built to haul, tow, and take a beating. But smart where it counts, with modern tech that makes life easier. Big screens available, camera views that help with towing and parking, and a cabin that feels right whether you're road tripping, heading to practice, or loading up for the weekend. During the season, it's the MVP of the tailgate, and after the season, it turns into your training camp truck, hauling gear, tackling home projects, and doing the work that never stops. Because the grind doesn't take breaks, and neither does Silverado. Check out the current offers and build your Silverado at chevy.com. Okay, let's go! Welcome to Pardon My Take presented by DraftKings. The crown is yours. Today is Monday, April 27th, and the NFL Draft is complete. Good job, boys. Congrats to all the people drafted.

And Diego Pavia, we did it.

I was going to say, I, I'd like to update my draft grades that I gave out, cuz on Friday we gave out draft grades. I think every team got an A, um, the Dolphins got, I think, a B or a B+. Because they got Proctor and Gruden didn't like that. I'd like to revise these. Every team got an F because they didn't draft Diego Pavia.

Yeah.

And he's going to make them all pay.

And he's, he's now going to Ravens minicamp.

He's going to minicamp. Yep.

I did see there was a—

every camp's a minicamp when you're his size.

True. I saw a fake tweet or Instagram story, Diego Pavia being like, fuck the NFL. That was not real. That was kind of bullshit that someone made it look like he said that maybe should have had an agent, but probably not.

I don't know that. If you can play football, you would have gotten drafted.

First Heisman finalist to not get drafted since— you guys know who?

Heisman finalist to not get drafted. Mm-hmm.

I don't know.

Jordan Lynch, Northern Illinois. Maction. OK, legend. But congrats to Pittsburgh. They had 805,000 people go to the draft. That is a record.

Congratulations. Canceled school on Thursday and Friday.

Yep.

We like that.

Made sense.

They didn't.

Yeah.

Yeah, they did.

Oh, yeah. You can't have kids going to school when the NFL draft's in town, Hank.

That's a— that's a joke.

No, that's a good sports town.

No, it's a great sports town.

That's just not true.

Every kid would have had draft fever. There'd be no learning going on in the school.

They had to do it. What are you talking about? We talked about this. They canceled school.

Why are you so pro-school?

2 days for the NFL Draft and at night?

It's the NFL Draft, dude.

Yeah, I don't know what you're under— it's, it's day 1 and 2 of the— it's not day 3. At night, day 3, you can miss it, it's fine.

Yeah, that is—

that's wild. Good sports on, I guess.

Great, yeah, great sports.

Yeah, but like, you could go to school and the draft.

No. Yes. How?

The draft was that night.

Yeah, but no, no, you just be thinking about the draft all day.

Absolutely not. You have to, you have to let everyone go to the draft. Uh, by the way, Max, well, I, I had some draft thoughts. So let's, let's stick with Pittsburgh because we have another— we, we, we gave you the Pickensburg pressing last week, uh, out of Pittsburgh. This— now this week we have Andrew Filippano, who is a radio host in Pittsburgh, who, if you remember, had to get his nipples pierced, uh, had this tweet which was in the middle of the summer. It was 250 days before the NFL Draft was in Pittsburgh. He said, if the Steelers draft Drew Aller in 250 days, I think I'll quit my job. Turns out the Pittsburgh Steelers did draft Drew Aller. He then got pressed on, uh, ra— I don't know if you guys heard the radio call, but he was on radio after, and someone called in, and he— the Andrew Filippano was like, come meet me at the studio. I— my show ends in an hour. Like, let's bow up. So I like this. This is good energy going around Pittsburgh.

Yeah, but I mean, that's— look, Andrew Filippano, that's, that's what he does. Yeah, his, his entire economy is based on saying that he'll do stuff.

This one is, is especially funny though, because at the time of the tweet, Drew Aller was thought to be maybe a potential first-rounder. And that was the big story. One of the big stories coming out of this draft was guys going into their final college football season guys who decided to stay an extra year— Drew Aller, Carson Beck, Cade Klubnik, Garrett Nussmeyer— all these guys that at one point were being mocked as potential first-rounders all fell significantly. Drew Aller went in the third round to the Steelers, uh, Garrett Nussmeyer went in the seventh round to the Chiefs, which actually is a great spot because you just beat Patrick Mahomes' backup. Cade Klubnik went to the Jets. Congratulations, memes. That's actually a good— take a flyer on a guy. In the fourth round. And, uh, the Eagles got— yeah, yeah, they got— I was gonna get to that. Carson Beck went to the Cardinals in the third round, and the Eagles got Cole Payton, which Todd McShay owes us a video. I texted him, he might be in transit right now, but we will get that video. I said hopefully add some tears, because didn't he say he had to be a fourth rounder?

Yeah, in order to, to be satisfied.

Yes, he was fifth. He was fifth, so he has to cry. He has to cry real tears during it. And he did not hit on his Mr. Irrelevant Picks, did he?

No.

Okay.

So no NIL.

Don't donate to Richmond.

Max, knowing what we know now about Cole Payton, and that is essentially everything Todd McShay told us, is there a QB controversy in Philadelphia?

No, he's Taysom Hill. Oh, next Taysom Hill.

Okay.

You're going to do Taysom Hill on everyone.

Yeah, sure.

Smart.

So just, I mean, yeah, quarterback by committee.

I mean, we just Taysom Hill, who's football player.

Isn't that weird that when you say next Taysom Hill, it's like It is kind of an insult because the guy plays quarterback and you're saying we don't trust him to throw. But Taysom Hill is awesome.

Yeah, Taysom Hill is great, right?

But it is also kind of an insult.

Cole Payton started a game at running back for North Dakota State in his career.

Oh, you've done your research, Max. Speaking— because we're on the Eagles right now, uh, you guys drafted a guy who's never played football.

Not the first time we've done that.

Yeah, that's true.

Worked out for Jordan Mailata.

Here's my question.

He's a monster.

He's a monster. Ouar Benard, I think I said, I think that was his name, uh, is an absolute monster. Here's my question though, Max. He's never played football, but then he got drafted as a defensive tackle. How do you know?

They say he projects to be a defensive—

okay, because I was gonna say, like, what if he's something else? What? He could be anything.

I think they just looked at his body size and they said, this guy, like, if you were to put his measurables into another position, it's probably defensive tackle.

But he could be a tight end. Darnell Washington.

6'4", 306, 6% body fat. Again, I think we talked about this guy last week.

Yeah, that's—

he's not fat enough. No, 6% body fat is ridiculous. You need— do you know, skin and bones.

You know that he was 11% body fat when he got to America, I think in January, to get to like start training. And then he just lost 5% body fat like that.

He got skinnier while he was in America.

Yeah, just body fat.

That's kind of crazy.

I don't know if he got skinnier. He probably gained more muscle. Or Bernard. Yeah, he's better athlete than Miles Garrett. It's fucking insane. Someone that I was reading an article about him and someone said that he is hands down the most explosive athlete I've ever seen in my life. Broad jump, 10'10", effortless, 306 pounds. Never seen anything like it. That's pretty cool.

Yeah, we got it. It's, it's project.

It's fun. If you look at the raw athleticism score, This guy is like, they— he broke the charts. Yeah, they got to give him a shot.

Did Howie Cook?

Yeah, I mean, you just say that Howie Cook's— Jonathan Grenard, did we— we haven't talked about that.

No, that was on Friday.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Howie Cook there.

Yeah, sure.

Um, some, some teams I thought did well. I actually think the Browns— the Browns had a really good draft last year. The Browns, other than like everything outside of drafting, they, they can't figure out, right? But the draft, getting 2 receivers to help— well, they actually picked another quarterback, didn't they? Didn't they get, uh, well, the Browns, Green?

Yeah, but the Browns got— they drafted a Pro Bowler last year too.

Yes, yes. So the Browns though got, uh, Casey Concepcion, Denzel Boston, Boston filled out their offensive line. I like what the Browns did.

And if you're wondering, does that name sound familiar, Denzel Boston? It should, because he is David Boston's son, the old Arizona Cardinal superstar, just freak athlete.

Do you have a comment about that? Listen, because your guy Greeny—

my guy Greeny, my guy Greeny—

that's not true.

Some bad information. We all screw up from time to time. Uh, I thought that his accountability was awesome. Yeah, listen, that's how you apologize for, for really fucking something up.

Listen, when there's a player with the same last name who plays the same position, I think that's— I think that should just be assumed. Who is the player that— oh, wasn't it, uh, Who's the player that we talked about? Was it Devin Hester Jr.?

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Who wasn't related, but not related to— he was related to a Devin Hester.

Yeah.

And maybe this guy's dad was named David Boston, but Greeny did go out of his way to say like, yeah, the Pro Bowl wide receiver from the Cardinals. That was not true. My guess is that Greeny might have gotten AI'd. Yeah. I'm going to blame this on AI Colin Coward. Greeny might have gone to him for his research.

Yeah.

It sounds like an AI mistake. You know, like when you search and like the very first thing that pops up, Yeah, at the top of the screen, that's always wrong. Yeah, it's wrong 100% of the time.

Um, I, I liked, uh, other, other teams. I like what the Ravens did because they got two more guys that Lamar Jackson can throw to in Jacoby Lane and Elijah Spratt. That's just— anytime the Ravens draft a wide receiver, I'm like, oh, they're paying attention, that they need some guys. Um, I'm trying to think, we, we could all go around and do our teams specifically, but The Jaguars, I feel like James Gladstone is going to be a genius or he's going to crash out very soon because the Jaguars— and I don't really put a lot of weight into the whole like consensus board, but obviously those get talked about, like where did you pick them, could you have had them later. James Gladstone said after the draft, he's like, that was the easiest draft we did, we got everything we wanted. 4 out of his 5 picks, I believe, in the— in his first 5 picks were all significantly considered reaches based on the consensus board. So he's either a genius and he's like moneyballing this and he's seeing something before everyone else, or we're going to look back and be like, why, why do we hire that, that young nerd?

Like, it's, it's, it's just going to be such a swing for him.

Yeah. So his spreadsheets might just be completely different from everybody else's spreadsheet.

But I listen, if you told me, if you tell me that you kind of like that. Yeah. If you tell me you have a spreadsheet, I'm in. Like, so whenever someone tries to give me a pick, and they have a spreadsheet attached to it.

Yeah, he's got a system.

The numbers could mean nothing. They could just throw the numbers in there like Stephen Che and just be like, this is my spreadsheet. I see, I see a spreadsheet, I see Excel, and I'm like, yeah, I trust that.

He's got the formula that nobody else has. The cells are aligned differently for him. I— listen, the Jaguars were good last year. Yeah, they're a, a very big surprise last year. So I guess just like trust in your nerd until he becomes a dork.

Yeah, yeah. And then we had, uh, the 49ers weirdly take a running back, I believe in the third round, that, that was also considered reach, and then they were asked about that afterwards, and John Lynch and Kyle Shanahan were like, you guys just keep reaching, what's up with that?

You're reaching that question.

Yeah, yeah.

They're like—

I think one of them was like, actually, we wanted to take him earlier.

Yeah, that— which is actually—

we wanted to double reach.

That's the right answer. Yeah, like immediately reframe the conversation, be like, we showed a lot of restraint, we had this guy as a first-round grade. Yeah, and we're lucky that he slipped this late. Yeah, I mean, what I'm seeing a lot of is, uh, is people that are giving draft grades out based on the consensus mock drafts of these guys.

Right.

And the thing, the thing about mock drafts is like literally anyone can do a mock. Hank could do a mock draft.

Yeah.

And then Stephen A. does a mock draft.

I could do 5 mock drafts.

Yeah.

5.0. You have to say 0.0. Yeah.

Actually, next year I need a mock draft from you. Yeah. I, we will put that, Zach, put it in the calendar. Have that be maybe a month before we need Hank's 1.0.

April 1st.

Yep. And then you can every week up until the draft, I want a new mock draft.

Yeah.

You're not our number one talent evaluator.

Yeah. The, uh, so yeah, it is. You're right. Like it's all about basically consensus.

I don't really care. Compared to like the average of where everybody had these guys going and like there's a lot of idiots out there that do mock drafts. Um, now all that said, the Commanders did get the best value compared to the average of the mock drafts. So I have to actually believe in it.

This year you got to go with it.

For this year, I'm fine with it. There was, um, more content that came out over the weekend about Sean McVay and some more behind-the-scenes stuff. Yes, during the drafting of Ty Simpson, I thought it was kind of like he didn't seem super excited. Like, he gave some looks to, uh, to Les Snead during the press conference that made you think maybe he's not like fully engaged. And then I saw the phone call to Ty Simpson. Yeah. And I saw a bunch more stuff that came out after the fact. Sean McVay was not happy. No, for whatever reason, he was not in a good mood. Like, Sean McVay is a guy that will— he— everything gets him jacked up about football. Yeah, like just being in a room with names of football players gets him jacked up about football. And I get it, he was the least jacked up Sean McVay I've ever seen.

I do— I, I don't hate the pick in the fact that the, the worst time to get a quarterback is when you need one. Right? Like, when you're desperate for a quarterback, that's when things go wrong. If you're getting— if you're trying to get a quarterback and you're like, hey, we have a good plan for him, we don't— we're not going to put the whole franchise on his shoulders right away, that seems like a solid use of a draft pick. But if you're Sean McVay, if you're Matthew Stafford, you probably are like, hey, we're one player away, why didn't we get that one player? Because in the— if the Rams go to the Super Bowl this year Ty Simpson will not play any, any snaps, probably. Yeah, right.

Yeah.

So you drafted someone at 13 who will not actually impact this iteration of the Rams. Again, I like to pick because I think that, again, getting yourself ready for the future and staying one step ahead of when you need a quarterback is a smart strategy. But yeah, I— it was, it was weird watching the Sean McVay after. He also said like something, he was like, I was mad about non-football stuff.

Yeah, something else was going on. Yeah, I don't know. But you would think that Sean McVay— yeah, what's going on with Sean McVay?

That's some fingers.

What's going on with Mr. McVay?

I do not know. I will not be speculating. I will not be in the speculative business.

I'm going to withdraw myself from speculation.

Yes. Do you guys want to talk about your teams? Hank, you want to start?

I mean, PFT's guy, he's got me excited.

Yeah. Yeah.

DeGenero.

Yep.

How Italian. How do you think the draft went for Vrabel on Saturday?

I don't even know if— I think— I don't even know if he knows who we got yet.

Oh yeah, he probably doesn't.

He's probably like— he's probably— he spent the weekend with family and then he'll probably come to the office Monday and, and see, you know, who we got and what they're going to do from there.

What about the report that he was in constant communication on—

I heard that was fake news.

Oh, so I've heard one of them's fake news. It's like Schrödinger's cat. Was he in fact in touch with the draft room or not?

I mean, he said he was not going to be involved. Was he finger locked with the draft for day 3 because he was seeking counseling? So I'm assuming he was, he was seeking that counseling. Maybe, you know, there was some conversations before, I'm sure. But if he was going to be involved minute by minute, why would he not just go?

Yeah, well, counseling. Yeah, because everyone knows—

assuming he was just acting—

everyone knows you start counseling on a Saturday when you have work obligations. Well, now that's when you got to start your counseling.

What if the counselor was Elliott Wolfe?

It's a good point. P.F. True.

Yeah. What if they were counseling together?

Because maybe their counseling was at, at like where the Patriots were doing the draft. So like, you know, he maybe just went to go—

they have a cat— like they have like the breastfeeding room for the families.

Yeah.

He goes to take a piss and like pops his head in real quick.

Don't let Fable in the breastfeeding room.

Yeah.

No, right.

But the counseling room got to go.

They got confessional there.

Yeah.

Yeah. Hasn't really worked out.

It was nice to have some, some draft talk, you know?

Yeah.

That would have been funny if Fable was like, I'm doing counseling and then he was still there and he's like, yeah, I did my counseling. I said, you know, 10 Hail Marys and 5 Our Fathers.

I went to church.

I'm good. I fucking got it off my chest, bro.

I went to church. I do like the DeGenero pick though, Hank. That guy is a beast. You're going to love him. And I loved his reaction too. He's like, I'm not even happy to be drafted. He's like, talk to me after the roster cuts, then maybe I'll be happy.

Yeah, I'm excited.

So what do you give the grade?

I give it a B.

Solid B. Oh, that's not good. What if Rabel had been there on Saturday?

Probably B+.

Okay, B+ then. That makes sense. Uh, memes. Oh, the Jets did well.

Jets had a great draft.

Yeah, outside of trading up for Cade Klobnik. What do you get to do?

No, I thought, I thought the pick's fine, but they just gave up another 4th rounder to go up and get him, which you probably didn't have to do that.

You know what you need to do is you need to find when— there, there definitely is a point in time where Cade Klobnik was mocked as a top 10 pick.

Yeah, that was going into this draft. Yeah.

So find that and just be like, hey, look at the value we got.

There actually is one person who had Cade Klubnik as the number one college football prospect going in.

There you go.

Shout out Brandon Walker.

There you go.

No, he's not really that.

He crushed the 2025 season, right?

Nailed it. I did that. Like, that's a really powerful thing you can do, though, is look back at like, oh, this guy could be a franchise. I did that with Sam Howell for a year. Yeah, he was mocked like 1 or 2 overall for a little bit. Yeah. Jets also had a cool moment with D'Angelo Ponds. His, his player comp was Aaron Glenn. So in the, in the team video, it was Aaron Glenn watching it. So it was pretty cool.

Oh, I got breaking news, by the way. Breaking news might not be breaking news. On top of this stuff, did you see this meme from NYJ Matt?

What is that?

He said he's aggregating a podcast. He said Le'Veon Bell went on a podcast and said with his own two eyes he saw Adam Gaze snort cocaine multiple times as the New York Jets head coach.

Shut the fuck up, dude's rock. Hyperdrive. Yeah, he's put his brain in hyperdrive.

Guys can't sniff a little cocaine before a game. What are we talking about?

The eyes.

Yeah, the eyes make a lot more sense.

Great, too, because Adam Gase got another job. Like, did— wait, was he Jets head coach before Dolphins head coach? Yeah, right? No, Dolphins and Jets.

You'd think that he would have been better if he was on coke, right?

Oh no, definitely not.

You don't think so?

No. If you're, if you're, if you're an offensive genius, you're on coke, you come out, you, you sober up and you look back at your play sheet, you're like, what the fuck was I thinking?

I don't know what— no, I mean like for games.

Oh yeah, but like when, when you're You know, everyone's had those late-night business meetings, right, around a coffee table, right? They don't really make a lot of sense.

I think if you're talking about getting coked up for the game planning phase, yeah, then that's bad news.

Yeah, yeah.

Maybe just like the execution phase, like you go out on the field and you take a little toot, you might get jacked up a little bit.

Can you play the clip?

The original smelling salt?

Yeah.

He also said he might have been the dumbest coach ever. We got practice in 20 minutes, 28 minutes.

What? It's a call. Yes.

Oh man.

He better be right. Le'Veon Bell better be right. I feel like that could be— oh, it's a long clip.

This is also alleged.

Yeah, no, there's— well, it's Le'Veon Bell.

We're not saying anything. Le'Veon Bell, we should remind people, doesn't know how old he is.

Correct.

So I don't know that we can trust his recollection.

Yeah, that's facts. OK, meme.

So good.

Good grade for the Jets. Yeah, I give it an A-minus. OK, Max.

A-plus.

A-plus.

I like it.

Yeah, it was an A-plus. Everyone should give their draft an A-plus.

I don't know.

You can't always go A-plus right off the rip, right?

I just did. A-plus.

Yeah, you're right. You did. You actually— you just proved me wrong.

But like, I believe Hank can do an A-plus. Like, Hank's our personnel guy, and I believe his analysis because he was objective. You sound like just some fan off the street.

You don't have Howie.

I don't have Howie.

Yeah, fucking Howie.

I did. I did say fucking Howie in like the bad way, but the good way if you're an Eagles fan. When I heard about that trade with Grenard, I was like, fucking Howie, dude. How does Howie do that? How can he? Can't keep getting away with this.

Yeah, it's Howie.

And then it wasn't even— it wasn't even the good pick in the third round. Now it was a comp pick.

Yeah, that was Milton Williams' pick.

Like, how he's just rubbing it in at this point.

Yeah, fucking Howie. And then we have another compensatory next year, so we didn't even lose a third round pick.

Fucking Howie. Fucking Howie.

Fucking Howie did it again.

Zach, piece of shit. You like your boys?

I feel good about our draft. Yes, sir.

Give me the highlights.

I mean, Reuben Bain off the back highlight, you know, homegrown guy born in Florida, went to Miami, can play in the heat.

Mm-hmm.

Good points.

He had by far the best, like, walked to the stage.

Ruben Bain.

Yeah.

Like when he just walked up, they had the hat, like you take your hat off and like smile, pose for a camera. He just walked up fast, grabbed the hat, put it on, like was all business.

Yeah.

It was like the most intimidating draft I've ever seen.

By the way, there are some, there's some times when they get to the late rounds where like they, you know, Goodell, they let anyone go up and do a draft pick. That would kind of suck if you got drafted. Like I saw there was a guy like holding a dog talking about God knows what. And then he's like, and then here's the pick.

And then this is—

yeah, he just— right, a little bit of just, you know, I don't know, there's just— it would piss me off. I was getting— if this is my big moment, I'd be okay with— yeah, a guy in a clown costume comes up, right? He's just like, hey, here's the pick.

It depends on what— I'd be okay with getting drafted by a dog.

Yeah, but it wasn't a dog, it was a guy holding a dog, right? It was just a dog, like Bill Belichick when his dog—

yeah, if that dog drafted me, I'd be like, that's awesome.

Didn't Jake Plummer like a few years ago come down on off of like a ski mountain. Am I remembering that correctly?

When you said Jake Plummer came down off, I did not think you're going to say mountain.

Yeah, I want to say he was like, he was like skiing and then he like, he did a sick move. He's like, and the Broncos select.

So that would kick ass. I would actually love that.

Am I— is this a Baronstein Bears thing?

Sounds like COVID.

Maybe.

Have you guys ever been asked to do a pick?

No, no, I don't think I would want to just for that reason. Yeah.

Yes.

No, no, no, no, I wouldn't. Hey, you found it for that exact reason.

He was skiing, right?

I would—

that would rock.

I would not want to go out there and be like, hey, I'm PFT commenter. And then I make like the announcement of some young kid's life.

Right. And also, let's just be honest with our own celebrity.

Right.

If we ever got offered that, we're talking 6th, 7th round. I don't know. Of course, that's, that's, that's tough. That's a blow. Like, I'd rather be not— I'd rather go undrafted. I would be a 7th rounder.

I would actually announce an undrafted signing.

Yes. Yes. I'll do that if you want.

Yeah.

If the commanders want me to announce like a guy from Northwestern has signed with the Commanders. I'll do that.

Yep.

That was in 2016.

Oh, that was a long time ago.

Goddamn. I've forgotten about it for a long time. That really stuck out for me.

One thing I did like about Reuben Bain was when they asked him about like, you know, the whole pageantry around the situation, he was like, I just like playing football.

Oh yeah. He also said, what number do you want? I don't care.

Yeah. He's like, I don't care about anything. I like— I don't know about anything. I just like playing football.

I'm a football player. Did you guys see the Giants pick get asked? Oh, here it is. Pick is in, 4th round, 136. Jake Plummer skiing down a mountain. That rocks. That would be a cool way to get drafted.

I actually came away more impressed with the mascot skiing down the mountain.

Yeah, he's snowboarding.

Yeah, which I'm not impressed by in a mascot costume.

Nah, you can't be a snowboarder, you gotta be a skier.

That's gonna be tough to do.

Yeah, that actually is awesome. Um, did you see the Giants draft pick that got asked what he plans on doing for, like, the kids in the community.

Yeah.

Yeah. That was tough. Mm-hmm. Tough to have that as your first, like, introductory press conference, get that question, but also tough because maybe it's just— he just hadn't had the PR training. That's also a layup question to just be like, I just want to— I'm excited to get involved in the community. That's it. That's all you got to say.

They asked about the kids. He's just been like, yeah, I mean, Jackson and Cam are young guys and I'm pumped to work with them.

Uh, all right, so what else, what else from the Bucs draft?

Also, we got a wide receiver, I think, is that like Georgia State? He's 6'3", so maybe replace Mike Evans, getting another weapon for, uh, for the Bucs, you know what I mean?

Okay.

Yeah, yeah, we got to replace some guys.

So nice, 6'4". There you go, even better.

That's an extra inch, we'll take that. We need everyone we can get.

Yep.

Okay, PFT, um, I give my team A+.

Okay, A+.

Sonny Styles, I think, was best value in the entire draft. I love Sonny Styles, great linebacker. He seemed— I don't know, there's something about him that I'm like, this is what you want to be the guy that's in the middle of your defense for the next 10 years.

Every— by the way, every player from the Ohio State defense that won the national title got drafted.

Yeah.

Between this draft and last year's draft, including Arvell Reese, who wasn't even a starter. Yeah.

So now, now the entire linebacking corps that we're going to have next year is going to be completely different. We're getting young at a position that we were super old. We're getting fast at a position we were super slow. Plus, I just trust Dan Quinn. If he takes a linebacker that early, I trust him. And then we got Antonio Williams from Clemson. I've heard good things about him. I saw some of his— I saw Baldy do a breakdown on him. Here's why I got excited about him, because Baldy did a breakdown on this guy 2 days before the draft. Oh, so he's one of Baldy's guys. And then I saw the highlights that Baldy was showing. They didn't really look that— he looked wide open for a lot of the catches, but Baldy likes him, so I like him. So that's why that's an A+ for me. And then we got Joshua Josephs from Tennessee at edge. By the way, can we just say, I put this out there a couple years ago and the draft Knicks, they got mad at me. I think I'm done with edge.

Oh yeah, definitely.

I think I'm done edging.

Yeah, give me defensive line.

Defensive end.

Yeah, defensive line, then defensive end.

What's wrong with saying defensive, what's wrong with saying outside linebacker? Why are we edging? Who was the pro, and why do we have to put it in all caps?

Yeah.

Who started that? I want answers. Zach, could you look up answers for me?

A lot of edge.

Yes, sir.

Thank you. Uh, but Joshua Josephs, I think that was like the best value in the draft. People had him slotted at like 70. We got him at 150, I think, or 147. And then Kaytron Allen from Penn State, the running back. Um, kind of a strange pick because we've got a couple good running backs already, but this is why I like the, the pick right here. They asked him about about his nickname? He said I was a fat baby and everyone in the town called me Fat Man. Hopefully I keep it going to Washington. They call me Fat Man and you know when I score all you're gonna hear people saying Fat Man!

Hmm...

I love that— I love having a "Fatman." Like no-no-no-no-no-fat-man-fat-man—we'll have Fatman?! Sure. Yeah, yeah. I'm a little boy and I love Fatman. Explosives!

Pew pew pew pew pew pew!

Uh, and then yeah, we got explosive— we got offensive lineman, then a quarterback from Rutgers that Tom Fernelli likes. So uh, Tom Fernelli's an expert college football expert actually. Yeah. Uh, so I give, I give the Commanders an A+. No, A- because we didn't draft Diego Pavia.

Yeah, I give the Bears a trust in Ben Johnson because they went into this draft with one glaring hole defensive line and we didn't do anything. Except— well, actually, no, I shouldn't say that. We did get, uh, a South African in the 6th round who can jump out of pools. Yeah, that's cool. I mean, anytime you get a guy who could jump out of a pool. But yeah, the Bears draft strategy did not seem— I, I, I do think that, like, we don't— I don't know shit. Last year there were people who thought that, you know, Colson Loveland at 10 was a weird pick, and then he ends up being the best tight end in, in in the draft and also one of the top tight ends in the league. So I trust in Ben Johnson, but we took a center from Iowa who actually Kyle Long was talking about, Logan Jones. So I'm excited about that. But then we took a wide receiver in from LSU who's going to be a special teamer, Xavier Thomas, in the third round. Still hadn't taken a defensive lineman. And then Ryan Poles gave a quote, which I, I think he's just, I think he's just maybe, maybe he listens to this show too much where his spin zones have gotten too good.

Okay. So this is the quote by, uh, Ryan Poles after drafting a safety who I like a lot in the first round when literally we just, we need pass rush. He said the D-line helps the back end more often than not, but in this situation where we have good corners and good safeties, we, we can be in a position where maybe we can have the quarterback hold the ball a little longer. We're going for cover sacks. Mm-hmm. Yep. That never feels like a good strategy. No, in fact, like Yeah, he spins on the fuck out of that, being like, listen, our secondary is gonna be so good that we don't need a pass rush.

I've noticed that a lot of teams are doing the exact opposite. Like, teams that have glaring holes in their secondary are like, fuck it, let's just get— let's get edge. Correct.

Let's edge ourselves. Correct. But Justin Bedjanson. We also took some guys, uh, I think, I think, uh, Logan Jones is the vanilla gorilla. That's sweet. Yeah. Um, Dinaman is the White Lightning. So those are good names. You've got your exciting whites lined up. Yeah, we got big time exciting whites.

Yeah, you also got the guy that got drafted 57th. Yes. And so Chicago got the guy that gets a lifetime supply of ketchup from Heinz. Logan Jones. Which is the funniest possible combination for a city to get. And he was like, yeah, I love ketchup. Yeah, that's perfect.

I like the Malik Muhammad pick though out of Texas in the fourth round. But yeah, confusing draft for the Bears. But a trust in Ben Johnson draft. It's like, hey, we— it will be interesting to see if the pass rush is as bad as it was last year and the run stopping, and it continues to be as bad. There will probably be some— we're going to have to have some honest conversations. We have to sit down, uncomfortable, honest conversations about what, what the strategy has been, where there's just been no— there's nothing that's been put into the defensive line for multiple years in a throw in the draft. Okay, so that's our draft talk. Anything else from the draft? It's over, Hank. You happy it's over? Yeah, I'm ready.

I'm ready for football to come back.

Oh, what about the, uh, we did have a fake Browns pick. There's a new movie, probably. Yeah, maybe Draft Day 2. Did you guys see that? Yep. Roger Goodell came up and announced a fake Browns pick.

They booed him.

So that'll be interesting. I'm excited for that. And we also had the dog that, uh, took the seat on the couch. That was cool.

Yeah, that's a good dog. Very good dog. That's right.

That's basically the Saturday of the draft is for two things. It's for dogs being in the, in the draft party at home and counseling with your family. I would also add, let's say, three. Yeah. Saturday. Saturday. Saturday. Yeah. I know you get confused because you probably had to do counseling too for about your coach.

Hank was with his family.

Yeah. You were actually. Right. How many times did you visit your family?

Not Saturday.

Oh, you only visit your family on Sunday? Yeah. So did you do some counseling today? What'd you shoot Saturday?

Bad. Lefty's bad.

What would— give us a number. It doesn't matter. Come on, give us a number. Doesn't matter.

This is about being honest. No one wants to hear about your golf score.

No, no, we're not talking about golf scores. We're talking about your counseling.

Yeah, I keep that between me and the counselor.

No, I want to know about your kids.

Keep it in the family. All right, we're going through some stuff on the home front. What do you mean stuff? Just, just, it's, it's Internal matters.

All right. Well, I hope it's not internal.

Would you score? It's— no one cares. That's all I hear.

Hank, PFT, do you care?

Because I care. I care a lot. I care.

I care a lot about it. Doesn't matter. It's not— it's not—

I want your family to be successful. I want your family to be together. I want to support your family.

I appreciate that. We appreciate that.

Did you score more or less than the 76ers?

Uh, a lot. Way more.

Had to be more.

No, the Sixers, what they end up scoring?

I think 98. You scored way more than Sixers.

Way more than the Sixers.

I scored more than Sixers. What? It doesn't matter.

I scored more than the Celtics.

No, no. Okay. No, you scored somewhere in between. Did you score more than the Spurs? They won 114-93. No, barely. Did you score more?

Do you score more than Zach's fever at the Super Bowl?

Probably right around there.

Oh, I'm just glad your family's good.

Yeah, they're not. It's the home front's a disaster. I might abandon my family.

Oh, no. Righty Lockwood coming back.

I get back to work.

Internal. It's internal. All right.

This is an external show.

I'm going to counseling. We sold Lefty packs.

I know. You can't just go back. What are you going to do? I'm not. I didn't say I was.

There's thousands of lefties that want to hear about your— No. Yes. No. Yes. There are people who care and everyone who cares about this, please tweet at Hank tomorrow.

Big Cat, tell us your score. Big Cat is your overbearing father. I'm your crunchy granola mom. I want you to know that we love you, whatever, whatever side you choose to be. But I'd like to know some consistency so I can know how to best support.

I'm just—

I'm having identification issues. I don't know what you mean. You're a lefty. I don't know what I identify.

Are you?

Are you curious? What the fuck do you mean?

You're lefty, you're righty.

I'm having a lot of thoughts upstairs.

Well, it's— listen, feelings are never wrong, Hank. I know, I just—

snip snap. It doesn't—

the draft, you got to choose one.

Well, let's, uh, choose one.

Lefty. Okay, there we go.

Right for right now. Oh man, it's a problem. It's a problem. Uh, okay, let's— I have no son. The Sox and playoffs. NBA playoffs are here, and DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NBA, brings excellent Excitement to every game day, the whole postseason. When the lights get brightest, the best players in the world show you exactly who they are. Playoff stars turn it up round by round, and DraftKings turns it up with them from the first round all the way to the finals. Bet player props, bet live from the opening tip to the final possession. Every bucket, every dime, every clutch takeover matters, and only DraftKings Sportsbook keeps you in on the action all the way through. New DraftKings customers bet just $5 if you get $100 in bonus bets instantly. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app, use code TAKE so you're ready for the moment. That's code TAKE. Turn $5 into $100 in bonus bets instantly in partnership with DraftKings. The crown is yours. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or 1-800-MY-RESET. New York, call 877-8-HOPE-N-Y or text HOPE-N-Y. Connecticut, call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas, wager tax pass-through may apply in Illinois.

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Limited time offer. Max, I don't think the Sixers are going to win that series.

Nah, I don't think so.

Yeah, I don't think— I don't think so. I don't think so. Embiid's back though. Yeah, he was the only one who showed up. Aiden to Drummond's time. Yeah, sure. Hank, over. Yeah, it's over.

I mean, Friday night was, was a lot more of a sweat than, you know, it probably should have been. Yeah, Sixers played hard. I think Embiid coming back actually like saved the series for Celtics. Oh really?

Oh, what do you mean?

I mean, he came back and it was a waxing.

I don't know that he had a lot to do with the fact that Peyton Pritchard just couldn't miss.

Yeah, it's true. I mean, again, it's— you live by three, die by three. I think, yeah, Peyton Pritchard, if—

if— if NBA quarters were 6 seconds long, he would be better than Michael Jordan. He would be the best player that's ever played basketball.

Yeah. The other note from Friday night, I know a great, nice guy and I've talked— I've actually like, we've talked about his calls on, on the show before, like positively with the Hornets. Yeah. Eric Collins was, was, was brutal. Brutal. I didn't, I didn't realize who it was. We were— me and Max were watching it. I just kept talking about how bad this guy was. And then I looked it up and I was like, oh, it's just the Hornets guy who usually like— I've only really seen like the highlights and stuff. It's like, oh, these are great.

It was bad. What did you think about—

Yeah, I don't think that was a— I think there should have been a lower third being like, hey, this is the Hornets guy. Yeah. Like, hey, just so everyone knows, this is the guy who does the viral Hornets.

But it's good when it's like your hometown announcer for your hometown team. Yeah, like a neutral broadcast. But I was thinking about it too.

We— it's good because we've heard just clips of it, like the best clips we see, and then we're like, this is awesome. And then for a playoff game, you're like, what is this?

Yeah, it's like you hear about players talk about the game being a different speed in the playoffs. He had playoff speed on his voice. Yeah, he needed just like take like 50% more Quaaludes before announcing. Hank, do you have any comment on the Celtics' dirty play hitting Paul George directly in his penis on Friday?

Yeah, playoff penis. No, I mean, that didn't even get a flagrant.

James Harden once got kicked out of a game for doing that.

Wow. Wow. And what team was James Harden on when that happened?

Sixers. Wow. Wow. Sounds like the world's after you again.

I mean, they reviewed the play and it was ruled a common foul, as was James Harden.

It was kind of perverted how many times they reviewed it. Like the refs were— they were getting off on it. Yeah, common foul happens. I would not say common.

That's basketball. You're not a ref.

Speaking of Friday, I am a ref.

Yeah, speaking of Friday night, uh, LeBron, what he did on Friday night was pretty insane. That the 3 to take them into Overtime. They're playing right now, but the 3 to take them into overtime.

I mean, throwing an alley-oop to your son in the playoffs is— that's cool. Like, there's nothing you can say about that. That's, that's an awesome thing that he got to do.

Well, there's one thing you could say, but I'm not going to hate.

Bronny should have dunked it.

I was going to say that's not an alley-oop. What? That's a pass. I think it's a—

I think it's an alley-oop.

I get it. But still, it's— you know, if I told you, hey, come see this cool alley-oop. You're expecting a dunk. I mean, if it's father-son, I get it. And I'm not hating because it is a very cool moment. It's an unreal moment. All the, like, stats are like LeBron's first playoff game and it's just Bronny as a 1-year-old. The whole thing. He— someone put it perfectly. He's like, LeBron literally made a teammate to throw passes to. He made him. And it's crazy. He's— the fact he's doing it at 41 is just absolutely nuts. The Rockets were favorites in this series. And LeBron with no Luka, it just defies all logic and he just keeps doing it. And it's, it's nuts. There's nothing you could say other than LeBron is unreal to watch and like everyone should actually enjoy it because you don't know if this might be the last.

I do agree that he should have dunked it, but I still— that's one of the coolest things that ever happened in the NBA.

Yeah.

I mean, I don't even really— like, I love laughing at LeBron James. He's one of the best basketball players of all time. But I love it when he does his goofy shit. Yeah. And it's— he's funny to laugh at. This was objectively like— very much, that's very much so. His son got in— he made his son get drafted by his team. That part was a little bit bullshit, but you can't say anything when he's in the playoffs and he's winning games and he's throwing alley-oops.

And he also got the steal, then the 3-pointer to take it into overtime and win in overtime. It was just insane.

Yeah, the whole thing. All-time collapse. I mean, the Rockets, like, the Ime just threw— like, that was one of the most brutal press conferences ever after. He just threw him under the bus.

I think it was like the second time ever that a team had lost when they were up 6 with 30 seconds left in the NBA. I think the other one was Haliburton last year against the Knicks in the playoffs. Yeah. And what is going on with Kevin Durant? Don't know. He just didn't show up to Game 3. Is he there right now? He's there right now.

He is there right now. He's at the— he's on the road.

I mean, this is— listen, we've gone back and forth. We've We've said some things about Kevin Durant, but I think we've also defended him at times. This is a sad way for him to go out like this. Rockets team not showing up for your team when you're, when you're injured in the playoffs. It's just— and has he— has it— has a Kevin Durant team won a playoff series since 2021? I don't think so. That was obviously when he almost— the foot. He almost took the Nets to, to the NBA Finals. Yeah, the— I think it's one since 2019. Yeah, that would be the— that would be that season.

Yeah. And because the next year was the reverse whomping, right?

The next year was the reverse whomping when he was on the Nets. Then, yeah, it's been bad. And then the Suns, Kevin Durant was bad. It's not— the conversations, uncomfortable conversations. Will he ever win a ring? He— good thing is he does not care about his legacy and what people online say about it.

No, I mean, he's got a— yeah, I'd like to see him win a championship before he retires. I'm not sure that he's going to at this point.

Good thing is this won't bother Kevin Durant for the next 40 years while he sits online.

What do you think he's going to do when he retires? Sit on— you think he's just going to— he's going to continue to be as online? Like, maybe, maybe more, but maybe not, because I feel like gradually the longer he is out of the game the less people will be talking about Kevin Durant. And so the less reason he'll have to be online to read all the shit people are saying.

Yeah, but then all it takes is like one top 5 player to go join a super team and it will just be Kevin Durant discourse again. The bat signal will go off and be like, I have to get to my burners, right?

And then the crazy thing will be like, Kevin Durant will probably root against that guy to win. Yeah. And then if he does, he'll get mad at people for not saying enough that he's ring chasing. Yeah, because Kevin Durant had to do with all that stuff. Yeah. Also, they just need Steven Adams back. Yeah. See, Steven Adams makes this a much different team.

Hank, isn't it pretty crazy that when Ime Udoka did the thing that he did that we still don't really know what he did, the Celtics actually won? Big done. That's crazy. Yeah. Like, that was it. That was a coach at the time who was considered one of the top, you know, 5 coaches in the NBA, had remade the Celtics, had taken them to the finals. He does the thing that again, we don't know what he did, but he did something bad. Gets fired. Everyone's like, what the hell happened? Joe Mazzulla, who no one, you know, people knew who he was, but not like they're like, oh, this guy isn't very good. And now you would take Joe Mazzulla 1,000 times over 1,000 times, but especially Ime Udoka. Yeah. Because the Rockets are a game away from it. It might be when you're listening to this, it might have already been eliminated of having decent regular seasons, good regular seasons even last year, and then being eliminated right away. And the way he was talking in the press conference was crazy.

Like, he basically was just like, yeah, young guys couldn't handle the pressure. They weren't ready for it. They're bad. It's like, that's—

that's your job. Yeah, that is quite literally your job.

Speak out. What you're saying is there was a— there was a coach for Boston and he got his team all the way to the finals. They didn't win. And then something happened. I did personally. And then he got— did say— got fired. I did say that. And then the next guy came in. It was much better.

I did say that.

But that's interesting. Just something to think about.

It is something to think about.

But yeah, are you thinking about—

happy with how things ended up for us? Something to think about.

Let's give them something to think about.

Think about it. Okay. You're thinking about it right now. I am.

What are your thoughts?

Uh, I'm happy that we got to end up with Joe Missoula.

So you could end up with Josh McDaniels.

He's a great coach. Those things aren't—

those things aren't— what are you talking about?

He's a guy that's been hired like two different franchises. We're like, let's get this guy.

And almost a third, the Colts. Yeah. Yeah, he basically has been a head coach 3 times.

If Jim Irsay didn't take a massive shit in his house, he would have been the Colts head coach.

I like Josh McDaniels a lot.

So he's a good coach. Okay. Hank's statement on the Patriots coaching. I like Josh McDaniels a lot.

He's a good coach on the current Patriots coaching situation. Yes, I like him, but I'll die for Vrabel.

Okay. Okay.

You're what? That one's—

that part's not going in the quote.

No, that's not going in. Yeah, I mean, that's— that can actually be a different quote card. I'll die for Vrabel. Sure. Because that will look bad for other reasons.

Yeah.

Depending on how you spell that. That's what you said. I did say that. And you know, our guys don't know how to spell. No. Yeah. So they might not know to throw an E on there.

I would— whatever. I still would die for Vrabel too. Max just shook his head.

He's like, I got it. All right. I need— I needed to— I got it. I would have never got it if you didn't do that.

We had to spell it out pretty good for you. Yeah. Yeah. That was a new segment. Let's give them something to think about.

Okay. Other games. I'm— I can't believe it, but you know what? I think I'm allowed to do this because 10 days ago, the Orlando Magic lost to the G League Celtics with a game that had consequences for them. And now they're sitting here as the 8 seed up 2-1 on the Pistons. I think I'm just a believer in the Magic now. I don't— I, I know I said I wanted them out. I might— they might win it all. You believe again? They got healthy. They never— they weren't healthy all year. Yeah, very dangerous. Desmond Bane did— the reason why you brought in Desmond Bane was for Saturday's game. He went 7 for 9 from 3. They have scoring options.

Franz was awesome.

And it is just a brutal matchup for the Pistons. Like, this might This is where I'm at because I'm like, oh, should I put a future on the Magic? I don't think the Magic are going to win the NBA title. I don't think they're going to go to the NBA Finals. I do think they're going to beat the Pistons because the Pistons don't have— like, the Magic are just bigger and stronger, and especially guard— like, Cade Cunningham doesn't have anyone smaller to pick on. It's just a bad matchup. Jalen Duren is— is— you can't play him right now. Like, he just can't do anything. I— yeah, the Magic. I'm a Magic— I'm all in on the Magic right now.

I think that the— I think Pistons are still going to pull it off. I don't know, dude. It's 2-1.

It's just not a basketball— the matchup is very bad for the Pistons because they just don't have enough scoring, and the Magic are a team that can match the Pistons in terms of size and toughness. So I just think matchup-wise it's just very difficult.

I think that's a— that's a very good description of what happened on Saturday. Yeah, that's very good. But I don't think that that's happen every night.

Yeah, like if this was Pistons versus the Knicks, Cade Cunningham would be roasting Jalen Brunson and switches and everything. He would just be going after him. But you can't do that against Suggs. You can't do like— Impala, like they got— they just got guys.

I don't know, I think you could do it against Suggs. Not— they didn't do it on Saturday against him, but a defender— but I do think that you could do it against Suggs.

Uh, the— I did break my, um, vow to the podcast, uh, that I was not going to watch any of the Thunder-Suns game. I actually did, in fact, because Saturday was a picture-perfect day, and I opened up the rooftop in my house, so I had the TV on, and it happened to coincide with when the game was on. So I was like, I guess I'm gonna watch some of this. I did watch, so apologies. What I did see, SGA was simply lights out, just out of control good. Not, not free throw merchant good. I'm talking great like MVP, best player in the world. Good. 15 for 18 from the, from the field. Just couldn't miss. And yeah, the series is over. But I did. I actually was happy I tuned in because I got to see SGA be awesome.

I stood by my vows and did not watch this game, but SGA was awesome.

SGA is always awesome.

Yeah, he's— he is. We should remind people that he's, he's the best player in the world. He missed 4 shots with the ball, including free throws.

Missed 4 shots. Yeah. Pretty crazy. Yeah. Memes, congrats. Season saved. Season saved. That's it.

That's the team I believe in.

Yeah, the Knicks were— it was, it was crazy because in a round 1 game, I don't know if you felt this, Memes, but I was saying to myself as the game came on, I was like, this is kind of just the entire iteration of this Knicks team is at stake tonight. Yeah. Like if they lose this game, they probably lose the series and then you just got to trade everyone. Yeah, no, absolutely. But my guy, KAT, KAT fucking loved it. KAT remembered he's the biggest, most skilled guy out there and was just like, yeah, I'm bigger than everyone and I'm better than everyone. Yeah, they just triple-double.

They just got to take care of business 2 more times and then we're on to Boston. So if you lose in the second round, is that a failure of a season? No. Boston Celtics, very good team. But you want to beat them last year. You're built to beat them. Then that would be We are built to beat them. So that would be a regression. We gotta take care of the Hawks. I can't be getting— But I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about if you don't beat the Celtics and if you lose, you just said if you lose to the Hawks in the first round, failure, capital F, failure, right? Capital F failure, but winner of that series is going to the finals. Okay, so if, but then if you don't beat the Celtics, would that be a failure of a season because you're built specifically to beat them and you beat them last year? There's no failure. And in your words, they're worse. No, there's no failure in sports. Hank Lockwood. He said that. Oh, yeah. Giannis said that. I thought. Yeah, but then Hank doubled down. So you would not consider that a failure losing to Hank?

I would. No, that was a very good team. I think you have to hold yourself to a higher standard. I don't like that.

I don't like that you're not cocky anymore. I liked when you were Connor for the— I guess we got to get out. We got to get out of the first round.

That's a tight— you got to get out of the first round.

You're coming. You're going to come so bad.

But we got to focus on the Hawks.

You got to focus on the Hawks. Do you have anything to say about Ben Stiller tweeting, got it done after? Ben Stiller just wants to tweet about the Knicks.

Every single time he just gets ratioed. Yep. Oh, and some of the people that were replying to him were— they were so mad. So they were—

they were— he tweeted, got it done around the same time that there was the assassination attempt at the White House Correspondents' Dinner. Everyone was like, what do you mean by got it done? Like, he just got all political Twitter. It was so clear he was talking about the Knicks.

Right. Now, did Jon Rothstein have a tweet? Oh, I don't know. We got to go see if he tweeted about it. I'm sure. I do have— I'm going to stick to sports. I want to know what the trick was that it was the Mentalist was doing at the time.

Also, I mean, I'm sure also that was—

was that the trick that he was doing?

But the comment's been said, I'm sure. But Oz has to retire. Why? How do you not see that coming?

But that's what I'm saying. Maybe that was part of the trick.

But you got to know that there's an assassination attempt coming. The one guy you want next to you when your life is on the line, about to be, you know, threatened, is Oz the Mentalist.

But what if that was part of the illusion?

I'm just saying, like, he knows everything. He knows, like, the first girl you kissed. He knew my PIN number. He knew everything. How do you not be like, hey dude, there's someone coming down the hallway for you.

But can you imagine if like at the end of this guy's manifesto, you scroll to the last page and it's the card that Donald Trump thought of? Yeah, the magic trick.

It's the Super Bowl winner for next year. Yeah, that's the—

that's— we need— we need to wait for all the facts to come out. So he's either a complete fraud or it's the greatest illusion that he's ever done. Yes. Yes. Oh, he's come on the program to discuss.

Congrats, though, Memes. Good job. And then the Timberwolves, the T-dubs win. The Nuggets are so sad. But what the real story is that the Timberwolves continue to be the most cursed. So Minnesota continues to be the most cursed city. The Timberwolves are cursed. Anthony Edwards hyperextends his knee. DiVincenzo tears his Achilles. And then it was the Io Show who was so fucking good. Yeah, Io scored 43 and I think he missed I think he missed 4 shots as well. He was insane. Special. He couldn't believe it that it was 5 for 5 from 3, 13 for 17 from the field. And listen, I know there's a lot of people like, hey, I can't believe the Bulls traded him. You got to remember that we got 4 second round picks for him, which if I do my math right, uh, Iowa's a second round pick. So we got 4 Iowas.

You, you, you 4x'd him. Yeah, we 4x'd him.

So tell me a trade where you can 4x the guy you got.

Here is, uh, Here's my, my big takeaway from this. Dante DiVincenzo tore his Achilles, right? Yeah. So did Jayson Tatum. So did Halliburton. So did Dame. Do you know what the common thread between those 4 guys is?

I do, because I saw the tweet, but I'll let you say it.

They all wear the number 0. Yeah. And it's all happened like the last year and a half. Mm-hmm. So you got to watch out. Look out for Maxie.

What's on your shirt right now, PFT?

Oh, this is the letter O. Look for Oso.

Looks kind of zero. This is O. Walks carefully, dude.

This is O for Oso. Kind of. But you're like, but you're making a great point. Oh, no, I was not thinking about that. Fortunately, I'm healthy as a horse. Yeah. So 100%. So we're good to go. Fine. We're doing great over here, guys. I'm happy for Io. I'm happy for Io too. That was so sick.

Yeah, he just needed to get— he needed to get out of the play-in and into the playoffs, and he became a killer.

But with Dante and, and Ant out, all they got to do is win one more. And right now I think they're, they're still favorites to win the series, but like shockingly low favorites considering it's a 3-1, 3-1 series right now. I think it's minus 145. I might take this. I, I took the Timberwolves. Yeah, I mean, I bet the Nuggets are a mess right now. Nuggets are a mess. I bet on the Timberwolves last night at minus 145 to win the series. Um, just, you just gotta win one more.

Also, this is what— have we not learned anything? That the Timberwolves, this is the third year in a row that they get into the playoffs in the first round. They are significant underdogs and then they beat the first, like, soundly. They, they win the first round. Remember they did it against the— who was it last year? Lakers last year, Suns the year before. That was the sweep. KD Suns. This is what the Nuggets do. I mean, the Timberwolves do. I don't know what's going on with Jokic. I will say, I don't know how I'm going to say this respectfully. He looked bitch-made. Yeah, he was a bitch. That was a bitch move by him.

That was a bitch move. He just didn't do anything.

Here's— okay, so for anyone who missed it, the game's over. And Mike Conley— Mike Conley, by the way, very funny after the game. He's like, I knew right away that I screwed up when I threw him that pass. He's like, you could see me put my head down. Throws a pass, um, to Jayden McDaniels with 5 seconds left, and Jayden McDaniels goes and takes a layup, which is unspoken rule, not supposed to do. The Timberwolves were up by 14 at the time. They ended up winning by 16. Jokic sprints down the court. Yeah, gets in his face. Dude, here's my biggest problem with this. If it's an unspoken rule that you're not supposed to do that, Jamal Murray chucked a 3 with 8 seconds left when he didn't have to, when the, when the clock was expiring. If Jamal Murray just does— if he just runs out the clock, then there's no problem. So I don't know why you can say it works one way.

Yeah, it's, it's just he's pissed off. He's mad that they lost. He heard that somebody stole his underwear. He's taking out the nearest guy to him.

Yeah, he ran down and then it got to a point where he could have done something and then just kind of just ran down.

And James was real, dude. Yeah, I know.

But he stood off.

He kind of got him.

Jay McDaniels, Icy Vert, Jokic, Pickensburgh. Yeah, the press.

That's what happened. It was a full-court press.

It looks like there's going to be another press. Oh, it looks like there's going to be another.

All right, save that. We'll use it for who's back. Max, I'm going to go to you for who's back, and I want all the details on the next press. I might go.

I might fly in for the next fucking Rudy Gobert putting himself in the middle of this and somehow I think Rudy Gobert came off looking like more of a bitch even than Jokic. Let, let Jaden McDaniels handle it. Jaden McDaniels was handling it really well.

Yeah, but it's just the Nuggets look bad and they— Jokic, like, he, he can't— they're, they're basically trying to make him a shooter and he's not shooting well. Didn't hit a 3 again. And the Timberwolves are awesome. Like, they're just fun to watch and it just sucks that they got They won this game to go up 3-1. Incredible night, Minnesota. Oh yeah, but two of your best players get injured. One of them out for a year plus.

Yeah. So it sounds like, well, maybe not a year plus. Yeah. Tatum came back. True. But so with, with Ant, it looks like he'll be out for a couple of weeks minimum. That looks so nasty. It did. It was one of those things where you thought like PCL, MCL, but they said no ligament damage, just like a bone bruise from the hyperextension. And then afterwards, I don't know what happened with Jokic and the underwear. Did you see that story? Yeah. So after the game, he said that someone stole his underwear. Then they retracted that report and said that the underwear had been found. It might be like this is his Jussie Smollett moment. Yeah, I don't know. He might have just been so mad that he misplaced his pants. We've all been there before. And but then he went to the media first about it before trying to like actually locate the under— I want to know some more logistics behind that. Like, did they have a full Like, was there a search party looking for his underwear in the locker room? I don't know. But it was a— it was a story that got put out.

They knew it would make a big splash and then like immediately retracted.

What happened? I just hate that I have to call Jokic a bitch, but we got to call it like we see it, right? What he did, that was crazy. I love Jokic. Also, I found out Nuggets fans don't really like the— if you like, hey, he just— I thought when I initially saw it, I was like, Jokic just wants to go home. He wants to get suspended and just go home.

Well, if you want to get suspended, he could have done that. He could have, like, thrown, thrown a punch. Yeah. So nobody got suspended, just fines, which I think is what everybody's looking for. We don't want—

damn, I fucking hate it. I love Jokic, but man, he'll figure it out. You just can't— there's really no way to end up, especially in today's, like, in 2026, you can't, you can't quote unwritten rules and look good. If you get aggressive about an unwritten rule, you're going to pretty much always look like a loser because almost all the time you're mad because you're losing. Mm-hmm. It's just you can't— there's nothing. Maybe 30 years ago, because then it would have been a real fight and it'd be like, yeah, you don't do that to another man on baseball. But today you can't do that.

Can handle it. Make a guy wear one of the ribs, right? Even then.

Yeah. When someone— when a pitcher gets mad about a bat flip, everyone universally now is like, hey, Don't give up a home run. Yeah, we've kind of course-corrected on unwritten rules, being like, you know who actually is the loser here? The guy who's losing.

There's some unwritten rules that I guess kind of make sense, but it's almost always you're losing the game.

Yeah, and the other team does something and then you're like, you can't do that. Well, you can't— don't lose the game.

What if you're up 3 scores in football and you line up for a kneel and then throw a Hail Mary for a 4th score.

Who would do that?

I'm just saying there are some unwritten rules that are like, that would be bullshit.

Who did that?

No one ever did that. I'm just saying, who did that? I'm— that never happened.

I'm trying to— I'm trying to figure out— get myself into a box.

Yeah, I'm trying to say that would piss you off.

Yeah, I'm trying to get you—

that would piss you off.

Well, the James Winston, they, they were inside the 5. Yeah. Hail Mary.

Hail Mary would piss you off. I'm trying to think of an unwritten rule that would piss— that would piss you off.

Yeah, but still, even after that, you'd— you'd— the coach would be like, you can't do that. Like, don't lose.

It pissed me off in traffic when people don't obey the unwritten rule of the zipper system.

We mean like everyone going alternate.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't like it when people try to take advantage of that.

Yeah. When someone speeds past everyone. Yeah, you urge us to shoulder that.

No, that is bullshit.

But that, like, that might actually be a real rule.

No, I don't think it's like—

I think that's a real— no, the shoulder is.

But there's sometimes there's like a long line for an exit, right? And then someone will just go—

but see what I'm saying?

But not in the shoulder. Like, they'll go in the left lane, go all the way down.

I still think you get pulled over for that. No, I think you might be able to. Definitely not. Cop could just be like, unwritten rules.

Yeah, I'm pissed. All right, so now we're back in on a couple unwritten rules. A couple.

All right, fine. But for the majority, the most part, most unwritten rules are someone loses and is upset they're losing and then says you're a bad sport. Unwritten rules are for Little League baseball, not for professional sports.

Oh, there was— I saw a major, major unwritten rule violation the other day, which I think we should actually correct. And write rules, right? We need to write down some of the unwritten rules. Okay. The Little League team where all the guys had GoPros on their, on their helmets. Okay. And the guy steps up to the plate, crushes a monster dong, smashes the bat on the ground and starts running around the bases and like pretty much like doing cartwheels. Yeah. And like his teammates have like the boombox going. Did you see this, this clip?

I did not watch this guy.

So the whole team, they've got GoPros.

Yeah, see, this is different though because these are kids. Yeah, I actually do think unwritten rules in sportsmanship should matter for kids. I think when you're a professional athlete, there is no such thing as sportsmanship.

The parents— yeah, you know, these parents suck.

So I, I actually got like the Barry Bonds, you know, all the gear.

Yeah, then he ducks out. Oh yeah, so I, I didn't hate this that much until I noticed that they're wearing GoPros on their helmets. Yeah, no, this is That sucks. That radicalized me. Yeah.

For kids, you got to— you got to teach them how to play the right way. Yeah. So that someday some of them might be pros where they don't have to worry about unwritten rules.

You want to go pro and don't wear one. Mm-hmm. Facts. That's a great one.

Strong, strong, strong, real strong. Wemby's back.

So that series is over. Wemby's so back. So back. So back. So calm and controlled. Yep.

And then the Cavs—

did he have today— do you have— he had maybe 8 blocks, I think. He was just dominant.

He had 27 and 12 and 7 blocks.

Dominant performance out of Wemby.

And then the Cavs— the Cavs-Raptors series is, uh, it's the mid-off. It's a total mid-off. I think the Raptors won the game shooting 32% from the field. Also, uh, James Harden, it He's, he's done. Like he doesn't want to do this anymore. He's gone. You think? Yeah. But no, but usually it would take at least till game 6.

Game, game 4, you start to see the cracks.

No, but it started, the cracks started game 3.

Game 5, he might bounce back a little bit. Then game 6, he can truly paint a masterpiece with it. So yeah, but you're right. When it comes to the shooting, it was bad. Cleveland missed, Cleveland missed 33 pointers.

Yeah. Cleveland shot 37%. So that's how you lose a game when the opponent shoots. And Toronto missed 35%.

Missed 26 3-pointers. So that is— Hank, you're the math guy— 30 plus 26, 56. There are 56 missed 3-pointers in this game.

Uh, but yeah, James Harden went— game 1, 8 made field goals, 4 turnovers. Game 2, 9 made field goals, 5 turnovers. And then the last 2 games, he has more turnovers than made field goals. Game 3, 5 made field goals, 8 turnovers. Game 4, 6 made field goals, 7 turnovers. Yeah, it's over. He doesn't want to do this anymore. They're done. But this is such a mid-off. I mean, the fact that I think it was the worst shooting performance in the 3-point era that has ever won a playoff game.

Is it really? I think I saw that stat. So Harden now 4 for 30 from 3. Yeah. Harden now has 44 of those games that you talked about, Big Cat. Yeah. Where he's got more turnovers than field goals. Yeah. Pretty crazy. Yeah. And one other thing with the Blazers-Spurs series, That's 2 games in a row where they've blown at least 15-point leads in the second half.

Yeah, yeah, it's, uh, oh, the Blazers-Spurs, you're saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah, they were up there. The Blazers had a, uh, big second quarter and then they just got smoked in the third and fourth. Listen, you need to have t-shirts to win. Gotta have the t-shirts to win. Hawks— I bet the Knicks, the minute I saw the Hawks were doing rally towels Yeah, got to be the Knicks.

Got a full shirt for that. I think I saw a lot of people that seem to have coordinated themselves. I like that. Like wearing their— they like sent out a mass email, DIY shirts being like, hey guys, just so you know, we're all wearing our RIP City t-shirts today. Love that. And then it was like a noble— it's a noble effort, but how big can that email thread possibly get? It was probably like 12% of the people that were wearing that same shirt. Yeah, but still, like, I appreciate the organization from—

they're trying to do it. Yeah. Hank, do you— for Who's Back of the Week, do you have your baseball team? Yeah. OK, so we can talk about it there. And we're going to talk all hockey with Ryan Whitney in a second. Before we do that, Who's Back of the Week? Twisted Tea is a refreshing hard iced tea made with real brewed tea and 5% alcohol. Twisted Tea is the perfect drink to keep the good times going all day and all season long. Whether you're hanging out at a friend's house, catching a game at the stadium or at the bar, or day drinking with friends, Twisted Tea is there. To turn your day up a notch and make a good time a great time, grab a refreshing Twisted Tea today. We love the original, the half and half, the peach. Twisted Tea, go get it today. Twisted Tea. Hank, who's back of the week?

Yeah, who's back of the week is, uh, I guess not really the Red Sox. They fired 5 of their coaches, uh, sent them on a plane home. Alex Cora, hitting coach, third base coach, Jason Varitek, Red Sox legend.

He wasn't— he wasn't fired. He was— he was kidnapped. He was kidnapped. Did you not see that tweet? No. It seemed like a kidnapping. Was like, Jason Varitek has not been fired. He's been reassigned and we will update where. Like, you just let him go, dude. What are you doing? Yeah.

What does reassign mean? That means like we're going to invent a job for him.

Yeah. Yeah. Reassigned to a new role within the organization.

A new role that doesn't exist yet.

Right. Which is likely a reflection of his standing as former Red Sox captain and two-time World Series champ. Yeah, that just—

yeah, just cut him loose. Just let him go.

He's the special envoy. All his friends just got fired. Special envoy for the Shield of the Americas, Jason Varitek.

They're 10-7. They're terrible. They're 10-17. They lost 17-1 the other day. The Orioles ran out of fireworks, which is like, oh yeah, that's embarrassing as it gets for a baseball team when they had to put up on the scoreboard like no more fireworks after home runs. We're out of pyro.

I would say embarrassing also for the Orioles.

I don't know.

You can't really account like if you're the pyro department, it's like what, you know, you got—

you always got to have more, I guess.

Yeah, it's a lot of pyro.

Like we make fun of Tom Dundon for not getting the t-shirts. Like Rubenstein, the owner of the Orioles, he's fucking loaded. He owns the Declaration of Independence. Maybe put a little extra in the budget line for fireworks, dude.

Yeah, they probably have to reassess after that. I did— I like was reading about it online, like the— if you search, it's like Liverpool owner. Yeah, John Henry owns it. They all the like BBC and English outlets made it seem like they fired the Liverpool coaches because it was like Liverpool owner sacks 5 coaches and like shocking, like they were, they were painting it to people, for people to shit on John Henry, which I appreciate it.

I don't. I just can't understand how he's got money, right? They're cheap. He doesn't care. He's got money.

They're spending it on other franchises. And then this Liverpool— that's where, like, the Liverpool and Boston fan bases, they all hate him too. Like, they did— they did like a protest or like they were all kind of wearing like sell the team shirts because they're raising the prices there. Like, he's just— all he cares about is money.

I saw Alex Cora post.

He just buys teams that their fans are super loyal. Yeah, well, I mean, the Red Sox, like, he was— they were in there from the beginning. But then once they started buying all the other teams, they just don't care about the Red Sox or winning for any of their teams.

What else does he own?

Liverpool. And I think a couple other ones. I saw an outdoor post racing. They own a racing team.

That's got to hurt. What if the racing team is just awesome? That would hurt.

He has the Penguins. Oh yeah, he does. RFK Racing. Run over Baron, you put in the back of your van and take him to Central Park.

How are they doing?

The golf team? TGL? I don't know. I think they were— they made it to the playoffs. Okay. Okay.

Oh yeah, he owns the Boston Globe.

Yeah, he owns everything.

So does the Boston Globe report critically on him? No, that was a dumb question. Yeah, very dumb.

Really smart.

Yeah, they're, they're a disaster.

That's like supervillain shit where you're like, I'm going to buy, I'm going to buy the local paper so they never say anything bad.

That everyone does that now. Yeah. Bezos. Yeah. The, do you know the last time that a team had fired their manager after winning a game by 16-plus runs? Because that was the crazy thing. They won 17 to 1, right? Or something like that.

Mm-hmm.

1887. That's how long it's been when the, when the Mets beat the Spiders, the Cleveland Spiders. You're making history.

Yeah, it's tough. I mean, it's like the, the, the, they send them on a plane. They got them like a private plane to go home. Like, get out of here.

That was nice of them.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. Do you see that quote from Bradford? From an anonymous Red Sox alumni. Is he your GM? What do you say? He said, woke up to a text from a former Red Sox player who summed up Saturday's moves. It's like shitting your pants and changing your shirt. Yeah. Breslow's our GM. Breslow.

Shitting your pants and changing your shirt. But nothing's going to change.

Like, if they're still in charge, nothing's going to change.

That's what he's saying. Yeah. Right. The stain runs deep. But I guess it's something, right?

No. I like— until they're out, like nothing's going to change.

I saw Hoggdale right afterwards celebrating. He was like, this is a win.

But I get a lot of my news from our good friend Jericho Robust. Isn't he? He said Alex Cora is great. He loves Alex Cora, right?

Yeah, he was a good, good manager. Hmm.

Wasn't he? Didn't he come? Did he get fired and then come back? Yeah. Oh, no. Did he get suspended for a year?

Yeah. From the—

the Astros. Yeah. The battery? No, the—

I think he was Astros and Red Sox then.

No, he got— he was out for a year and then came back. Yeah, because of— was the Apple Watch thing.

He was— he coached the Red Sox after that. He was the Texans, like, bench coach or whatever when that all happened, and then he coached the Red Sox after. Yeah, yeah, the Astros bench coach during that.

Yeah. Okay, um, your who's back PFT.

My Who's Back of the Week is Papa John.

Remember the Papa? Yeah, he's back.

Louisville is bringing him back. They said, sorry, Papa, sorry to sideline you all these years. We could, we could use your money. NIL is kind of a thing for us now. So welcome back. And they kind of apologized to him, which is kind of funny. They just basically said, we recognize the decisions made years ago were based on the information available at the time. We have a greater perspective of the facts that have emerged since then. Considering those developments, UofL now acknowledges that the university would approach the situation differently based on our current understanding and believe the best path forward is to unite in our shared commitment to supporting UofL. So Papa John, the mega booster, is back because of an IL.

I love that. Good for him.

Good for Papa. He served his time. Yeah, he's one of the weirdest sounding guys that you'll ever hang out with. In my experience. I met him at the Super Bowl about like 10 years ago.

Yeah, I met him with something as well.

And I stood next to him and we took a picture together holding up a jersey. And he— I've never heard a man make the sounds that Papa John makes. He's just like standing around.

Yeah, he's just oily and just wet.

I can do an impression of him. Like minty? If you'd like. Kind of a little bit. Actually, kind of. This is what Papa John— this is what it sounds like to stand next to Papa John. Anyways, he makes pretty decent pizza, I guess. So I'm glad for the University of Louisville. So Papa's back and then Top Gun's back to doing Top Gun 3. Top Gun 3 is now officially entered into production and I am putting on a full-court press to try to get like 1 second of screen time in it as an extra. I think I can do it.

What if you had to go on a plane for it? Yeah.

Well, it's a guy who's not— has nothing to do with planes.

It doesn't matter. Okay. Like, 1 second of screen time. Maybe a guy, even a guy that, like, doesn't know shit about planes and gets schooled without— yeah, you wouldn't have to act for that. I wouldn't have to act. They could actually just, like, film me walking down the runway and I'd misidentify something.

Did you ever figure out that plane that you were—

yeah, dude, I did. I did. After, like, 15 seconds, it was an AC-130.

You're just staring at a plane. Getting so angry that he couldn't figure it out.

Yeah, on Friday. And then Max asked me what it was and I couldn't remember what it was because I thought it was a C-3 and it was an AC-130. And the guy that was working at the airport had to explain to me what it was. And then I was like, oh yeah, I actually own an entire game that is doing nothing but simulating flying in a C-130.

You did the White Sox Dave Dusen trivia move. I was going to say that.

I was— no, but I literally had that answer. I wasn't going to say that. I didn't. I did the opposite of that. I acknowledged how bad of an error it was and how stupid I am for not getting it. I just remember just—

I watched you just stand there staring at a plane. I just walked away. I was like, this might take a while.

Yeah, I was so excited, Max, because I could tell that you didn't know because I was like a Magic Eye poster.

He's crossing his eyes trying to figure it out.

Well, normally PFT, it's his favorite thing of just like a plane is around and he'll just go like, uh, 247 Raptor, right? None of us care.

None of us asked.

247 Raptor is not a plane. Fucking idiot.

So he was just looking at this one. I'm like, he hasn't said what this is yet. He definitely doesn't know.

Yeah. But then later on, I spot an F-18 in your face and you talk about F-18.

That's the easiest one.

I fucked this one up. But anyways, Top Gun 3 is happening. Jerry O'Connell was in a movie with Jerry Bruckheimer. Jerry Bruckheimer is producing it. I need to ask Jerry to get me set up with something in Top Gun 3. Something, please, Jerry. We can do this together.

All right. My who's back is Fernando Mendoza because he has been on the Raiders for one day and he dropped a fucking. So he code switched to the Raiders. I was shocked. He said Raiders, let's fucking go. Spends one day with Max Crosby. He's just swearing everywhere.

It sounds like Tom Brady got to him. Yeah.

I mean, was he, was he put, was he, was the flipping thing just to get drafted one overall?

I don't know. Maybe he just wanted to hang out with Kirk Cousins.

It's— yeah, it was shocking to hear him say that. Also, who's back is anti-Italian discrimination, because I tagged Max in this, but there's a gentleman— I don't know if it's this gentleman, but Chirizzi tweeted this— a guy got banned or was told at the White Sox game that he is not allowed to hold up the Italian flag during the game.

No way. Yeah.

When was that?

We got to do something about this. I don't know. I like this guy.

I do, too. Max took one. I showed it to Max. Max goes, that's a good-looking Italian man. When was that?

He's a strong Italian. He is a strong Italian. The tweet was today.

Yeah, I think it was today. Yeah. Disgusting. Disgusting. What would the Pope say about that?

That's what I'd like to know. Great question.

Great question.

Really great question. I'd like to know what the Pope would say. Come on, part of my take to discuss Pope.

Zach, my Who's Back of the Week this week is going to be people who think speed is more impressive than figure skating. Because we did get the two fastest marathon times of all time.

Mm-hmm. What's this I hear about the shoes?

The shoes faster than you could run 100?

We talking carbon plates in the shoes? Yeah, exactly. The carbon plate super shoe. Yeah, I'm hearing is a thing, right? So like, what is that? It just—

the carbon plate just returns so much energy on the bounce that like a lot of these shoes are getting banned, and then they make— someone make them into races, then immediately get taken out.

So two guys in the same race.

Yeah, same race today.

One of the gentlemen, 4:34 mile pace for 26 miles is so fucking insane. It's not that impressive.

That's insane. How— wait, so how— that's insane. How many miles per hour is that? I don't know. Like, what's the average?

Those type of questions.

Why not?

Well, if it's— it's right at 2 hours and it's 26 miles, probably right at 13 miles an hour. 13 miles an hour.

So that's like— that's a full-on sprint.

Sprint.

Yes, that's what I'm saying. It's a full-on sprint for 2 hours.

Yeah, that's a mid— I mean, they're, they're pacing at a minute and 8-second 100-meter dashes or 400-meter dashes. That's too much math. That's crazy though. If you do a full— if you go all the way around the track, like, that's gonna take you more than a minute 8 seconds.

So first sub—

and they're doing that hour marathon over and over and over. We couldn't do, we couldn't do one 400-meter dash faster than they are doing an entire marathon.

When was the first like modern marathon? I'm not talking about the one that happened at the battle. Like when did we first start running competitive marathons as a, uh, like for fun?

I don't know, but this just made me think, is there anyone who like records are meant to be break broken, but Roger Banister really gets a lot of credit for a guy who probably would have gotten beaten if we had just recorded, like, I mean, how did, how did an English guy have the fastest mile in the world? Yeah, that's just not— come on. And we all fucking sucked his dick forever. Yeah. Like, oh, you got the mile under 4 minutes. I feel like we could have gone a lot of other places in the world and found faster miles. Yeah.

So I go, but he just gets—

I mean, we all know his name. We all know Roger Bannister's name. That guy got lucky as fuck.

It's like Bob Cousy was the best basketball player ever.

It's crazy. Time. It's crazy. Roger Banister. But he didn't even— Bob Cousy at least won NBA titles, like could dribble and do cool stuff. Roger Banister was just— could run fast, but it really was just the fastest guy in England.

His, his claim to fame is that he, like, broke the mental barrier that everyone just thought that it was impossible in England. Right. They had like a global— a mass delusion across the entire continent. And they were like, yeah, it's impossible to break 4 minutes or 4 hours. And he was like, impossible, chaps? I think not. But then the second they—

look at that guy right now.

Second they open it up. Yeah, his shit gets crushed.

You got fucking killed. Imagine how fast he would have ran if he had the shoes.

Oh yeah, the carbon plates.

Good point.

Super shoes. We should get some carbon plate super shoes.

It will make us—

how much does that cost?

About the same speed.

Still slow, probably. I think it makes you a little taller.

PFT. I don't need that.

What else you got, Zach?

Uh, another who's back could be, uh, the LA Thieves, because they did win the, uh, CDL Minor today. Oh, okay, cool. So first they got like 2 more online tournaments until Major 3 this week. So is that—

is Bush— did Bush compete?

Uh, no, this is, uh, CDL. So this is the professional league today. Got it. So an Ajax team took it home. It'd be the Challengers League, right, right beneath, right underneath the CDL.

Got it, got it.

Brotherhood's back. Family. What? The Fitzpatricks. Oh yeah.

Well, I thought you meant Duke.

They're always back. They won. They won a PGA Tour tournament. Matt Fitzpatrick's obviously on the PGA Tour. His brother's on the DP World Tour in the Race to Dubai. Double penetration. It's like it's a, it's a team event. So you don't need to be on the PGA Tour. There's like, you know, there's as long as one of your guys is, there's other ways to get in.

Could you get in?

I don't think I could get in, uh, but since they won, it counts as like a regular PGA Tour win, so his brother automatically gets his PGA Tour card and all the signature events next year.

What was the setup for this? It was scramble?

It's alternate shot, one day 4-ball, which is like best, best ball score between the two of you, one day alternate shot, one day best ball alternate, or alternate shot, best ball, alternate shot, best ball.

So they're alternating alternate shot days? Yeah. Got it. Max, give it to us. What's going on?

It's just that the Penguins didn't get swept. So the series is going back to Pittsburgh. So Pickensburg is now saying if Icy Virt goes to the game, he will press him again. We'll press him again. Oh my God.

Oh, I need it so bad. Sir, a second press has just occurred.

Did you see the shirts? Field outside Pittsburgh. Speaking of shirts, you see the shirts the Flyers are going to are putting the puck— everybody, everybody. I like this. That's good.

Wow. Pickensburgh also just— what do you say? 32 minutes ago, I think I won the Icy Lib, right?

Dude, he just— yeah, he doesn't, he doesn't care though. Yeah, he's not thinking about it.

He DM'd me to be like, be honest, who do you think won the press? Yeah, it's the best. Which I like. Respect. Yeah, he wants to know. He just, just like doing a poll.

He's obsessed with whether he won this press. How do you— he didn't. What I liked it, he's so obsessed with it.

If Icy Lib doesn't go to the game tomorrow, yes, Pickensburgh won the press.

That That means Pickensburg won the press. Yes, absolutely. But what if Icy Lib does go?

Pickensburg will try to press and hopefully not stutter.

Yeah, well, it's cold. It's cold in the arena. Don't fucking say that, Max. It was fucking cold in the arena. It's a hockey game, bro.

It's true.

It's a good point.

I feel like Pickensburg's definitely written down his next press. Yeah, like this is—

I mean, he has to be—

you can't do trans kids again though. It's gonna be memorized. Gotta do something different. He's got, you know, he has to do, he has to press him about the first press. Be like, show up, be like, people are saying I didn't win the first press. What do you think about that?

You could ask him, do you, who do you think won?

Yeah. Do you think I won that press?

Yeah. But make sure you put your hand on his shoulder and press him about it.

I noticed that you haven't been asking people who won the first press. Unconfident much?

Yeah. I did a 7-hour Spaces about this pressing. I need more pressing. I love it so much. It's so stupid.

When did pressing start? Fucking love it. Pressing, I feel like it started like 3 years ago. Eli Whitney? Yeah, the gin. Mm-hmm. But like dudes didn't, dudes didn't used to press each other back in the day.

No, now guys, dudes are getting pressed all the time.

It's socially acceptable for a man to press on another man.

And you don't want to get caught in a pressing.

But you have to be ready.

Getting pressed got to be one of the worst feelings in the world. You're just minding your own business. Boom. Next thing you know, press.

Well, you can get pressed, but you got to win the press if it does happen, right?

Yeah. And if you go— yeah, right.

Protect yourself at all times. But you—

but actually it goes even more so if you press, you got to make sure that you're confident you're going to win it.

I got pressed on Saturday. Someone getting—

if you get pressed and you lose the pressing, well, you didn't expect to get pressed. So there could be a little bit of like, hey, I wasn't ready. You pressed me out of nowhere, right? But if you go up and press some guy and you don't win it, bro, what are you doing?

Yeah.

And now Icy Lips is going to be prepared for the press.

Yeah. Yeah. Icy Lips should go press Pickensburg. That would be— oh man, that would— if he went and pressed him, find, find Pickensburg before he can find you. This is gonna be a cat and mouse. Neither of these guys are going to watch a second of this game.

No, this is the art of war shit. This is, this is Sun Tzu. This is press your enemy before he has a chance to press you. They're buying—

there's way too much— there's tickets and they're not going to see a second of this.

There's way too much at stake.

Way too much. I really hope Icy Vert— I should, I should DM, be like, dude, you have to go. I might buy him a ticket. What if I bought Icy? What if you bought both of them tickets? Yes, in the same section. Yeah, press off.

Oh man, I think the way you should do is buy them, buy them tickets close to each other, don't tell them that the other guy is going to be in that same section. It's like The Parent Trap.

I'm getting involved. Yeah. Hopefully I get a— hopefully I get a response. I'm going to ask him, are you going— what should I say? Are you going to Game 5?

Dude, can't wait to see what you do with this press.

To see another press.

Are you saying that to Pickensburger? Icyvert.

Oh no, I don't know that Icyvert. No, I'm asked to do the press.

Yeah, I'm saying, are you going to Game 5?

Are you ready for the press? Are you— are you prepared for the press?

Head on a swivel for a repress. Call him big player. Repress. Big player. Repress. No, that's— is that—

uh, you're gonna get press round 2.

For a press round 2. Big player.

You gotta get ready for the press break. Continuous press.

Round 2.

I feel like we got to talk Icy Lib into attending.

I think now you got to talk Pitts— Pickensburg. Okay, you gotta DM him. Okay. And just be like, yeah, bro, I'm hearing reports that Icy Vert might be there.

Okay. I'll be like, and he's calling himself Big Player.

Okay, what's up, Big Player?

Just saw this.

Oh my gosh, you guys are gonna end up meeting up and being like, fuck those losers on Pardon My Take. We're giving them a common enemy.

My bad, I missed this message.

Nah, you know, be like, my bad, I missed this message. I honestly think I can't make a decision until I see round 2.

It was just so good. Like, both sides handled themselves so well. Oh, I see Verge typing. Okay, here we go. Okay, who won the press? Be honest.

My bad. We're losers. I don't care about being this big of losers. We're actually losing the press off now. No, we spent so much time talking about it.

No, we're winning the press off because we're the one who are just benefiting from the press.

Right. But also spending this much of our days— I think spending more of our days thinking about the press off makes you a loser of the press off.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Okay. My bad. I thought you did a great job, big player.

Oh, he says he's not going to be there. Oh, then he lost.

He lost. He lost the press.

Oh no, he lost the press.

Tell him he lost.

If you don't show, you lose the press off.

Yeah, 100%.

I'd be willing to purchase tickets for you just so you don't lose.

Okay, okay.

I said people are saying if you don't show, you lose the press off. I'd be willing to purchase tickets for you just so you don't lose on a technicality.

We can't have him lose on a technicality.

We can't have— we can't.

Flyers will probably lose a series.

We can't.

That's a good point.

Well, also Actually, you know what though? Pickensburg should actually have to go to Philly. That's the press. That's a fair point. Yeah. Now that I'm thinking about it, if you want to double press a man, you got to go to his home. Yeah. Oh, that's a good point. Yeah. He might not survive that.

Series doesn't start until the home team loses a press.

But he did lose the— but, but he did lose a press at home.

That was—

yeah, he lost a press at home.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We don't know if he lost. Oh, that's true. Yeah, we don't. Yeah, it's 51.

I'm saying if Pickensburg wants to win this press series, he's got to do it on the road. He's got to steal home ice.

Yeah, we got to get a conclusion.

I feel like you're, you're not being objective when it comes to this, Max. I'm super objective. No, I don't think you are.

Yes, I am.

As a Philly guy, I'm— I, I said right off the bat, why are you making the kids trans, bro? We're not—

you're really going to talk about politics on a sports podcast?

You're really going to talk about politics? There you go. Yeah. All right. No one knows who won that. It's impossible to say. All right.

I left it with Icy Bird. I said I'd buy him a ticket and then I said we'll also try to get Pickensburg to show face in Philly for press round 2. I need it. I'm like Rick Pitino. I'm addicted to the press. I am. I need it.

He says, he says, let's go. Hand on the shoulder was the dagger.

Dude, that's all he keeps going back to. He's like, yeah, if you're a man, you never let another man put your hand his hand on your shoulder. Yeah, the dagger. Yeah, wait, so it actually was over before they even said anything?

Big time is what I'm saying. So Pickens thinks—

so he doesn't even— he doesn't even need to repress?

No, he won with the hand. He could just show up to Philly, put his hand on Icy Vert's shoulder, and that would be it.

You touch another man's shoulder, you win. Yeah, that's how they're just gonna go.

What if Pickensburg just shows up to Philly and they just play a game of tag? Throughout the entire arena. This is way too long of a segment we're doing on the press. All right, uh, let's get to our interview with Ryan Whitney. I need a press round too.

Before we get to Ryan Whitney, is brought to you by Experian. It's never too late to improve your credit. With Experian Boost, you can raise your credit score instantly for free. Get credit for all the bills that you're already paying. Add your positive rent, utility, and even streaming payments to instantly increase your credit scores. Boost your credit scores instantly with Experian Boost. It's completely free. You can instantly raise that credit score. You can get a better credit score, and you can get credit for the bills that you're already paying. Download the app, get started for free today. Results will vary. Not all payments are Boost eligible or considered by lenders. See experian.com for details. Ryan Whitney is also brought to you by Reese's. Some fans believe in Teams of Destiny. I believe that everything happens for Reese's. Just think about it. What is the one thing every team or athlete wants? A championship. Why? Because half of them are called cups. Stanley, World, Ryder. Just like Reese's. Luckily, scoring a Reese's Cup is way easier than winning a championship. It's almost like you were destined to get one right now because everything happens for Reese's.

Reese's, the official candy partner of Barstool Sports. Everything happens for Reese's. Get yours at Hersheiland.com/Reese's. Hersheiland.com/Reese's. .com/reezes. And now here's Ryan Whitney.

Okay, we now welcome on a very, very, very, very, very special guest. It is our good friend Ryan Whitney here to talk some hockey. By the way, Whit, thank you for your chapter in the book. You're welcome.

That was, that was an honor to be a part of that book. I can't wait to read it. Now I got to apologize. I will not be looking at you guys. You haven't told the world listening yet that There's 7 minutes and 43 seconds left in the Oilers-Anahim game. So you guys wanted some live reactions from me, so I won't be looking at you.

Well, this is the second period in hockey. They've got 3 of them. So it's not like that doesn't mean half.

Every minute matters. Okay. Every minute matters because if you can go up 3-1 with 7 minutes left in the second period, that sets you up pretty nicely for the third. But so, so Witt did write a chapter.

He's, he's the number 1 in terms of appearances, guests in part of my take history.

That's pretty big time. It is. Insane.

I'm not trying to be that guy. Yeah. But what's the test?

You guys are monsters. You've been monsters forever. And now looking back, it's like, holy shit, like I'm number one most appearances on this show.

Yeah, you should get some roles. You can't tell the history of the story of Part of My Take without Ryan Whitney.

I don't know if that's necessarily true. What do you mean? But I'll take that. I'll take that. I didn't even think that was a troll either. But I'm not allowing you to say that. But wait, I'm just a small cog in the wheel.

If you write this chapter, you wrote a chapter in the book, it's a really nice chapter. If it does become a New York Times bestseller, you are in fact a New York Times bestselling author.

Yes. Yeah. And that would lead to some royalties, right?

From one of you guys. Yeah.

Yeah.

By the way, because we didn't mention the regular show, we should have done that. We are also taking 5 AWLs who submit what Pardon My Take means to them to Max's bachelor party. No, that would be funny. You want to come?

You are invited. I do not want to come.

Okay. But you're invited. 5 people that all they have to do is preorder the book and then we're going to post. We've posted the submission, but we'll repost it. Submit what it means to you and we're going to pick 5 people and put them in the book. So 5 individuals, they're going to get chapters.

Yeah, exactly. OK, I thought you were going to get to play golf with Hank.

No, they can do that as well. I'm sure Hank will. Yeah, he'll add that.

That'll be great. AWL for like a lesson on the second tee. Yeah. Yeah.

So why aren't you coming to Max's bachelor party?

Vegas isn't really in my game anymore, man. I— we were there for the draft after the Panthers' first cup, and I remember leaving. I think Biz and I were sitting in the airport. I was like, I don't think I'll ever come back here. Yeah, no offense to you guys. I'm sure you'll have fun.

Well, you wouldn't go to Barstool Spring Break?

No, I probably wouldn't take part in Barstool Spring Break. Not really my scene. I loved Vegas back in the day, but at this point it's just kind of like I'm not I'm looking for a bar stool, you know, no pun intended, and a game on TV and thinking of you guys at the club Friday night.

That's why I won't be. Yeah, I'm not going to go to the club. We were offered to go to the club. We're— we're— I'm with you.

Yeah. I like bottle service in the lobby.

We won't be at that portion. That's for the young guys.

I went in Vegas when Vegas won the Cup. We went to a club after that. The Cup was going to 8 Minutes. And then I was like, all right, I can't believe I did this for like 13 years every Saturday night.

We should try to convince Dave to do like a Barstool Spring Break, but it's just all the old guys and we just, we golf, we watch some games, we go to bed at night, heartburn. Yeah. And we go to bed at 9 PM. Yeah. Tweeting like, oh, uh, breaking news, Big Cat has gone to the bathroom again to take a shit. Oh, Big Cat pissed himself. Uh, breaking news, Ryan Whitney is starting to doze off on the recliner. It's only 8:30 PM. Yeah, the late game hasn't even started yet, dude. These Oilers games— so let's talk some hockey.

It's crack.

It's so— it's so late. I've watched 2 out of the 3 of them. The other one, I woke up and I— whatever game it was, like 7-5.

That was Game 3. Yeah, it was just like, what the fuck? Like, it's— it's heroin hockey. I— I don't— it's— I'll say this, like, it's the most entertaining team in the league by a mile. Because every single game something ridiculous happens and usually more than one thing, one ridiculous thing's happened. There's lead changes back and forth. Now, the elephant in the room, the real problem is McDavid's hurt and it just sucks. How bad? He's not— so it's weird. Keith Yancey was saying like, it's like he lost his superpower. So he skates like no one I've ever seen before and he's faster with the puck than without. I mean, I've been on this show— how many times I've been on? Number 1 most appeared guest. But I've probably talked about him for most of them. Yeah. And his skating and with the puck and what he's able to do, this cutback stops and starts. I've never seen anything like it. And now he doesn't have that. He still has the straightaway speed. I've noticed like tonight and last game, but the little cutbacks where he's beating D out of the corner and just embarrassing people, it's like ninja mode.

He doesn't have it and it just sucks as an Oilers fan. But hey, We're up 2-1, 3 minutes 30 seconds left. We're on a 3-on-2. It just is a bummer knowing that I don't know if they can go long. Yeah, it's like, now if they keep going, maybe it gets better and better. But at this point, how do injuries improve in this match? Do you know what the injury is? No. Playing doctor, it looked like, like a sprained ankle. Like it just— Ekholm fell on him and his like ankle kind of bent in and it looked innocent. It was just totally fluky. And then He was, he was wounded. Like, he came back into that game, threw a pizza, they scored. They ended up winning that game. It was just, oh, that's a penalty. There we go. Awesome.

Fucking A. What?

Because Joel Embiid, he's playing in the NBA playoffs. Oh, he's a warrior.

Yeah. So that patch he had on his, on his abdomen before the game. Yeah. Wow. Give him a medal. What? I've told you guys, and I think the last time I was on, I mentioned that I think my first appearance was the ripping on the NBA. Yes. And you ever watch stuff that you did and said when you're younger and you're like, oh, it's kind of like painful.

Yeah, yeah, I do that. Oh, like I'll look at a tweet from a week ago and be like, what the fuck, you loser.

So I am like, oh, it's kind of painful. I believe all that, but it's just like, wow, I was kind of ridiculous and being kind of a hardo. But I texted you today. Yeah. The product's never been worse. The NBA— and I don't watch it, so you can say, how do you know the product? It's, it's terrible. And if you're not somebody— I've asked you guys, and I think in the book, my chapter, I mentioned you could be, as the number one podcast host, the people who change the game and lead off your show with hockey when football season's not going. But no, you guys stick to basketball, and it's horrible.

Wait, but we talk a lot of hockey. No, you don't, compared to other— when I'm on.

So the 47 times I've been on, yeah, you guys talk.

There are other sports podcasts though that are like I think all sports podcasts do not talk hockey. True. There's hockey podcasts, but then there's that sports pod.

But if you guys became the biggest sports podcast that also led with hockey in the winter after football season, I just think it would help hockey a lot. That's all I'm saying. Are you—

so it's on you guys. Are you, are you a little nervous though with what you just said, and then it just becomes us talking about Connor McDavid not being able to win the big one first 5 months?

I'm trying to think if I'm willing to deal with that. If then some of your listeners would traffic over to Chiclets to get some real hockey talk.

Yeah, they stop talking shit about this.

When I say real hockey talk, I've got, I think, 5 or 6 things completely wrong and we're not even halfway through the first round.

Right. Getting things wrong is better.

That's the thing.

It's like they don't boo nobody's guys.

I don't know. I don't know that you would— you say that you want us to lead off with hockey, but the amount of stuff that we would fuck up up if we actually led off with hockey.

Yeah, but then it's, oh, let's go over, download Chiclets, or go on Netflix, check out Chiclets, and we'll get, we'll get what really happened. But we fuck up the sports we do know. I know, and I can't— I got one sport and I fuck it up.

Why don't you guys start doing some NFL?

We do like, we'll do like a, uh, like a quick NFL recap Monday sometimes after like an awesome 4:30 Sunday game.

Yeah, but I, but I do love hearing Biz during those.

Yeah, like hearing him find out players for the first time and like rules and stuff.

Oh yeah, and like positions.

Yeah, yeah.

I am, though, at a point where I used to, like, care a lot more about my fuck-ups. Now I'm just like, we fuck up things every fucking day. Yeah. Where it just kind of—

I kind of love being wrong. Yeah. Just let it go because you're like, oh man. Like, it just shows that, like, man in the arena, guys, you know, you're in there giving takes left and right. Like, yeah, you ain't getting all of them right. You ain't even getting half of them right most of the time, but you're still giving them.

So I'm saying, yeah, 30% gets you in the Hall of Fame.

Baseball. Last week I said, I think about like 350, which would be awesome in baseball. Uh, but if you're— 350? I think so.

Yeah, I was going to give you 450. Uh, maybe like— yeah, maybe on base. Dan's like 275, but I feel like he's really throwing shit to the wind.

No, I'll get— I'll get on base. I'll have a take that's wrong, but then like Big Cat will clean it up. Yeah. And like slightly improve it. And there's like a kernel of truth. I'm like, yeah, I'll take that as like a walk. I just— yeah, I'll take first base.

Yeah, we polish the takes.

Well, so, so you'll like this one. I, I, uh, talking about the Carolina Hurricanes, Ottawa Senators first round series. I picked Ottawa to win in 7. They got swept. They never had a lead for one second. And, and not only that. Yeah, I was talking about Carolina's like centers. I was like, oh, look at their third line center, Colton Eniemi. Guy sucks. I forgot it was actually Jordan Staal, who I played with in Pittsburgh, and he's played about 16 years. So that was one where it's like, man, I think you are like semi-losing your mind.

Yeah, getting a little seat out. All right, let's— I want to start there because I have some questions about the first round. Are we just the Hurricanes? I said this the other day, you tell me, grade this take. What is the Hurricanes, uh, sweep? But every year I was like, the Hurricanes just get to the Eastern Conference Finals, then they'll play a real team, then they're gonna lose.

Yeah. Okay, is that a fair take? Oh yeah. Okay, and I've had that take. Um, now the Panthers aren't in this year. And the Panthers just smashed them. They would just dummy them and like bully them. And now they're, they're not there. And there's no team like the Panthers in the East where they're just nasty. And, you know, I, I think Carolina actually, if there's any year that they could get to the Cup Final, it would be this year.

Well, that would be perfect because that's the year I made the take.

Exactly right. Right. So you might have got them into the—

Yeah, they're going, they're going.

I might bet on the Cup Final. I know. No, no. Yeah, they have, they have like two different goalies, but Andersen's been their guy. But like, Busti, this Brandon Busti was their guy all year. It's been— no, you're ahead of me. I'm ahead of you. So fucking brutal. This is so brutal. I forgot I was ahead of you. You set this up?

No, it's a tie game.

I was singing Singin' in the Rain and I made a goal horn with water in my mouth. And you— I didn't— we did not set this up. I swear to God, I forgot that that TV—

I didn't even know that we were ahead.

Turn off this TV. I was looking at—

why hadn't you said you were ahead prior to the goal? Because I didn't notice.

I wasn't looking at that TV. I was looking at this TV.

It's about 7 seconds ahead. Yeah, seconds ahead.

I— for it— turn this TV off. What are you doing? Are you tweeting something? Tell us what you're live tweeting.

I'm recording Pardon My Take with these two dummies right now, and I'm about to walk out if they score another goal. And they're ahead. It's not our fault. It is. It is your fault.

The TV, the TV we're watching is ahead.

Sorry. Now 2-2. This is a disaster. It's Max's fault.

Did you like the goal horn though? That was good. No, it was like a— well, because I was— it was actually more like a, oh shit, but I had a mouthful of water.

This sucks. That sucked. It was 2-0.

I bet the Oilers tonight.

Is 3 to 1 a death sentence? What? How bad is it?

Why don't you guys— I don't call 3 to 1 a death sentence. McDavid being injured, it's close to the firing squad they might bring back, I read. Yeah. But it's not a death sentence yet.

Why don't— this is not a troll question. Not a troll question. Why don't the Oilers ever have a goalie? It's crazy.

I think to the non-big hockey fans, you know, the— The playoff fans. Yeah, us. You say us? Yeah, you guys and guys like you, they're sitting around, they'll throw in the playoffs. They're probably like, I don't get why do they always have bad goalie? They always do. It's crazy. And Wallstatt, this awesome goalie on Minnesota, they had like the 20th overall pick a few years ago and traded it and then the Wild took him. They— it's just like, I don't know. And then they traded Skinner, who— I mean, they lost the last two with him, but he gets them to the finals. For Jari. He's looked good tonight. Now it's 2-2. I don't know. I don't know. There's been a lot of fuck-ups in Edmonton in the roster, and it's just depressing.

And so is it defense too?

Their D's pretty good. Their D's— they, like, they have Evan Bouchard, who gets kind of— he's unreal, but he makes, like, really bad turnovers once in a while. So people are like, this guy's a goon, he can't make plays when it counts. But he has the second best points per game in the playoffs in the history of hockey for a defenseman. So I don't know, man.

When McDavid signed the extension, it did appear like there was an out if it didn't work out. Yeah, but why didn't that light a fire under Edmonton to do some of these things that you wanted?

I think that was the point of like the just the 2-year extension, like, all right, let's, let's see what you could do here. And they, they, they got, they got Tristan Jarry and they traded Kulak and Skinner. Kulak's good, like, stay-at-home defenseman. I don't know, man. I don't— it's crazy. And there's so many goalies out there, it seems like. And goalie's a weird position, you know. You get a guy who's unreal one year, and the next year he struggles. But the Oilers— I don't want to blame this on the goaltending though. Like, Ingram gave up 7 goals— 6 goals the other night, but he wasn't even that bad. I don't—

I know that sounds crazy. That does sound crazy. That sounds very crazy.

Defense is like their team defense is brutal. They turn the puck over. This is— this is— I can't believe you were ahead of me.

I'm sorry. We're now even on purpose.

I want to ask you about the B's, about the Bruins, Hank's Bruins. Oh, man. What happened today? It feels like— what happened with Swayman? It looked like he screamed at his bench. I don't know if that was directed towards his teammates or his coach.

No, that was at the team. Bad vibes. Yeah, actually, the coach asked— Sturm was asked about it after and he said, at least we had one guy show some fire today. So. Oh, that's never good. That's not good. Now, Swayman's been the best player for them in the series. They're down 3-1. They all year— I didn't— I think I picked Boston to be a possible lottery team before the year. So that's another good take. And then all year I was like, how are they so— how are they good? I don't really get it. Pastrnak's incredible. He takes a lot of heat for the playoffs. And his performance in the playoffs, but they, they just kept kind of proving people wrong. But now I'm like, all right, they're playing Buffalo, who's high-flying, fast-paced, and they can't, they can't hang with them. Swayman, he gets pulled or whatever, and he's basically screaming at the team, who had— I was reading it was the worst game the Bruins have ever played at home in the playoffs. Now, I don't know if that's like accurate considering they've been around 100 years, But it was pathetic. No shows from everyone.

And I don't think guys are upset that Swayman, who's been awesome, is like, what the fuck, wake up, whatever he yelled to them.

Yeah. Who? Who? So the Sabers have— are you like— I was actually going to ask, like, who has shocked you so far through the first 3, 4 games of the playoffs?

Are the Sabers up there? The Sabers are up there, but I knew they were. They've been so good for since this mid-December. So it wasn't like that surprising. I thought maybe first playoffs in so long for a lot of these guys that they might struggle, but they look good. Anaheim's awesome. Yeah, Anaheim's set up like to be really good for like 8—

for a long time. And also Quenville's an awesome coach.

And they got Quenville this summer, then they got some stud like young guys that are just nasty. They got great young defensemen. They're— I thought the Oilers would make easy work of them. I don't know why I thought that. I just thought McDavid and Leon would just take over, but it hasn't happened. Colorado, they're no surprise. They swept. They're nasty. They're the favorites for a good reason. Mm-hmm. Other than that, Flyers. Flyers. Flyers for sure. Yeah.

What's going on in that series? Because I don't— I went into that series being like, I was like, it's going to be a war, but probably the Penguins are going to win.

I picked the Penguins. Same thing with the Bruins. Like, oh, maybe a lottery team. They're brutal. Everyone's like, Crosby's going to get traded. He doesn't want to be around for this. Another like fantastic regular season. Thought they'd lead into that. The Flyers just, they got, have you heard of this Porter Martone?

Yeah. Oh yeah. He's great. Heard a lot about him for the Philly accent. Perfect. Yeah.

Martone, he's the only guy Max talks about. Yeah.

Max. So we fired up. Max fired up. I could tell. I could tell. I mean, he was watching the 76ers when I walked in his office.

Well, the Flyers aren't playing tonight.

What do you want me to do?

Yeah, but you look, you know, you're just down in the dumps.

They're down by 30.

All you have is the Flyers now.

He's fired up. Fired up.

So we went to a Penn State-Michigan State game. They played outdoors and Porter Martone played all year at Michigan State. He was unreal. Like, definitely good enough where you're like, oh, this kid's leaving after his freshman year. He's going to be in the NHL. At the time, Flyers way out of the playoffs, and it'd be one of those guys who comes in, gets games, and then the next year plays his rookie year. They started playing better. Then he came and he changed the entire team. He looks unreal. I think he's at a point per game. He's dominant. He's huge. High pick. They've needed like a young stud. They thought it was going to be Michkov. He's now scratched for the game tonight, which is Game 5. He's just like not ready yet. He's not there yet. But Rick Tocchet, he went to Vancouver, took over a bad team there. They went to Game 7, second round against Edmonton a few years ago. He's a great coach and Flyers fans were all over him. The team wasn't doing well. Michkov, he wasn't playing him enough. Flyers fans have this weird thing with Michkov. If you say a bad word about him, they snap.

They've just been banking on this guy being a superstar. Max, do you want to snap on me?

Yeah, it's bullshit. Michkov. Not fat. What's his first name?

Matt Fay. Okay. Yeah, here we go.

Wow. All over it. Fired up.

But everyone thought he was fat.

He was a little fat. Either way, they're playing just scumbag Philadelphia hockey. Now, I've been calling the city of Philadelphia scumbags. It's dirtbags. But I respect it, you know, and Biz brought it into TNT. I think he caught some heat for that. Like, it's a little different saying it on Chiclets than TNT calling the entire city scumbags. Yeah. Now he went on the next TNT night and he's like, this is a compliment. This is playoff hockey. You want to be a scumbag, but they're all scumbags. The fans are scumbags. And I believe yesterday for Game 4. Yeah. The shirt said, fuck everybody, fuck everybody, you know, fuck everybody, scumbag city. They're, they're hard to play against. They got a great story there. And I don't like Philly, I don't like the Flyers, but seeing them back in the playoffs with that orange crowd, it's— it is a great— I got to play them in the playoffs once with Pittsburgh. It's amazing atmosphere. Yes, guys.

What's the, uh, what's the toughest place to play?

Montreal's tough. So back in the day, uh, San Jose was hard to play in. That crowd was sick. They'd come out to a Metallica song. Yeah, it was unreal.

I can't think of the name of it because I feel like they get a lot of shit for not being like a traditional hockey town. But if you're in San Jose and you're a Sharks fan, like, you really give a fuck about— they have a group of people that, like, they don't care about anything but the Sharks.

They had a, I want to say, 15-year, 12 to 15-year run of, like, Presidents Trophies and never could get over the hump. And it was like the best crowd in hockey.

Pavelski and Joe Thornton, Joe Thornton, Marleau.

Yeah, Ryan Clowe. They had all these guys and now Celebrini is kind of bringing them back. I bet you they're in the playoffs next year. And you could tell last year when I said that if they were playing in my backyard rink, I would have shut the shades and not watched. This year I was watching every game and nobody was at the games last year. And then this year it was packed. So there— that city's coming back. Montreal is a great atmosphere, tough place to play. Philly was tough. Philly was tough though. Yeah, they're scumbags. They'll spit on you and stuff like that. Real dirtbags like Max. In the playoffs, everywhere is hard to play though. Yeah. You know, like it's always great atmospheres in every building.

That Lightning-Canadiens series that tied 2-2 after tonight, that's been a war.

That's been kind of exactly what I thought it would be. Right there. They're killing each other. So this Brandon Hagel, you heard of him? Yeah. So he's— he was drafted by Buffalo. They didn't sign him. He went to Montreal, like, rookie camp. They were like, no, we're all set. Ends up with Chicago. They trade him. Like, I don't know what they were thinking. They did get a big return, but since he's got to Tampa, I mean, he has a 90-point season. He was on Team Canada. He had the fight with Matthew Tkachuk in the Four Nations face-off. They won that. He has 6 goals through 4 games in this. He's thrown some enormous hits. He fought Slavkovsky, knocked him out. He's become just he's like a Matthew Tkachuk, Brad Marchand type player. He's unreal. So that series has been a war. It was actually overtime the first 3 games, then tonight 3-2. It's— yeah, I think basically overtime.

I mean, it was— yeah, the Lightning scored with like 5 minutes left.

Yeah, Kucherov is sick. That's a great series. I think the Canadiens are like the Ducks where they're set up, uh, for the next while here with a lot of young studs. And it's— that's another city, man. Like, they're in the playoffs, that rink, I think you guys would love to go to a playoff.

He did.

Yeah, I did last year. Oh, okay. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Where the entire penalty box filled up with dudes and Tom Wilson was like trying to fight his way out of that one.

Wilson killed Carrier.

Yeah. Game. Well, no, no, that was the next game where he, he turned the series around on that one hit. Yeah.

In the open ice. How sick is that place though?

It's actually incredible. I was— I don't want to say I was scared because it wasn't like afraid, but it's the most intimidating, loud building to be in. Like if you're an opposing fan, it's like you feel like you should not be there, which is actually— it's a compliment. Yeah. Oldie was there and Oldie was actually— Oldie is the best person to be with in a situation like that because he was rocking like all the Caps gear too. And people would like come up to him and they'd be angry. And then Oldie would talk to them for about, I don't know, 2 seconds. And now they're like hugging, chugging beers together.

Oh, they're like visiting Oldie in the summer.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. So it's— He's a great guy to defuse any situation, but that building is fucking insane. Yeah, it is. And it's just the stands.

Yeah, I think I've said this on the show. I don't know how they got away with like the building code up in Montreal there. I don't know if there was one, but it is just straight down. Now, another crowd and this, this matters for me. Buffalo not being in for so long. I mean, we saw the road, we saw the rollerblade gang.

Are you going to join them? Unbelievable.

Tuesday morning I'm flying to Buffalo. Are you? Let's go. And I'm going to Game 5. Oh, are you going to—

are you going to blade up?

So our memes— I texted him or tweeted him. I said, you got to bring me rollerblades and hockey gear. I want to get with those guys. I got to see my billboards in person. Yeah, my 0.000% chance billboards of making playoffs. And I think that I've had a couple of tweets like, don't show your face. But overall, I think the crowd— no, they know I've just eaten it and that I that I led into that clip saying, I hope the Sabers get in and the fans don't deserve this. So I'm fired up to see a game.

Also, they're up 3-1. Like, if they were down 3-1, I'd be like, maybe don't go.

Yeah, but they're up 3-1. Now, here's the thing. It's me and Merles, so I don't know if they're going to be able to win with us in the building. No, we will eat it. No, you guys eat it. Such mushes. But Merles is a huge Sabers fan, so he'll be— he'll be rattled.

So both of you are going to blade up. I want to see—

I told him, I think he's obviously driving. He's in— he's in Troy. So you got to bring your blades and I have to get Memes to bring me blades. All right.

So what I like, obviously do whatever you want, but I think the funniest thing to do would for you and Merles to not tweet any of the videos and let them just come out naturally and people be like, the fuck?

I think Memes is coming.

You know, you do the video like, but I'm saying like the actual first, like the first clip that goes out of the, of the Blade Gang. Yeah. Needs to just have you in it and just be like, wait a second. Yeah, is Whitney in the Blade game?

Yeah, I don't want— now I guess giving it away on this because a lot of people listen to your show, that might have been a mistake. No, people look for it. But I already tweeted. I mean, I tweeted out my ticket and I didn't crop it to take my seat. My row. No, no, because I did that on purpose. It's like belly of the beast. Like, I want— I want to— I want people to know where I am in that building.

Well, also, the Sabers are probably going to fucking hit you up and be like, yeah, get on the Zamboni. Yeah, get on the Zamboni, come up to, you know, I love to ride the Zamboni.

Boney. Yeah. Section 117, row 22, seat 13.

Yeah. I mean, I don't know if you didn't have to say that. I don't know how many people see my Twitter posts and listen to it now.

I mean, it's one you can describe a tweet, but I think our audience wants to—

it was just an audio podcast. Say it again. Just in case someone's listening at 2x speed.

What was it? Okay. If you're listening at 2x speed, I'll slow down. Section 117, row 22, seat 13. Ticket type adult.

Enter aisle 19. I know where to enter. Mm-hmm. If they close it out though, like Merle says that if they win tonight, you know, see how I did that professional podcast? Yeah, that was smart. That like the city will act like they won the Cup. Like, that's how, that's how legitimate these people are about this.

Oh, yeah. They're all— they need something. They need some good news.

Have you pissed in my trough yet?

No. Where is that? It's over there. Yeah, I got to piss. Yeah, I have a urinal in my basement. You do? Yeah. I mean, that was one of the things. How did you never tell me that?

You put ice in it?

No, it's not that big. That's a good move, though.

Yeah. Ice in the trough is the best.

The urinal is just— you just feel like a man.

Yeah. Hell yeah.

Ryan Whitney is being brought to you by Jose Cuervo. When Cuervo enters, every moment just gets better. You find yourself in the center of the dance floor. You can't help but stand up and high-five those around you at the game. The room reacts like it just got the same text at the same time, and you stop checking the time. Suddenly small talk escalates to laughing so hard you can barely catch your breath. That's the Cuervo effect, a signal everybody understands, a moment that anyone can join, and a good time that just grows. And all you have to do is keep it Cuervo. And now back to more Ryan Whitney.

Speaking of, uh, Zambonis, are— I actually have— I'm riding the Zammoth next year. Are you? Yeah. So Jordan Schmalz and I made a bet on the North Dakota-Wisconsin semifinal game because he went to North Dakota. And I was like, you got to get me on the Zamath because his brother plays obviously for the Mammoth. And so I won because the Badgers beat them. So he's like, yeah, get, get you on there. I get a, I get a plus one too.

That's baseball.

That's— no, that's baseball. Shout out Dana Beers.

No, but that could be like, hey, I'll get you on. I'll have my brother get you on. And he tells his brother, his brother's like, I ain't getting— no, he's got to get me on.

On. Yeah, I mean, his reputation's online. I'm taking that's porn if he doesn't get me on.

I, I know Schmaltzy a little bit. I would almost—

no, he's a guy, he's a, he's a stand-up guy. You're on that, Sam. Yeah, I mean, the original, original bet was I wanted the Zammoth. He couldn't deliver that. Like, I wanted to own it.

I feel like you could get your own Zammoth built.

Imagine, we should get a mini Zamboni here, just sweep the court.

Mincy riding that thing around. He would—

I would never allow it. Put it, put it— I would never allow it.

Have it be a desk that travels around where Mincy— that's his workstation.

By the way, why are you, why are you so like Rumba. Why are you so negative about Mincy? God, everyone, you got so much hate in your heart.

You're taking everything so serious. No, he's a piece of shit.

Yeah, bad guy. Really bad guy. Terrible guy. Worst guy we got.

Oh my God. I just love that he picked you out and being like, that Ryan Whitney. Yeah, so much hate in my heart.

He's just so, he's so hateful all the time.

He's carrying 4 bags. Yeah, just pick up a bag, buddy.

He sees you being grumpy and he's like, he's a bad guy. Yeah, I don't think good guys can be.

I don't think people get like the grumpiness. Yeah, I guess I come off as grumpy.

I don't see you as a grumpy guy. To me, it doesn't mean bad guy at all. Grumpy doesn't mean like, to me, not negative connotations. Like, yeah, some of my best friends are grumpy all the time.

It's like, just— yeah, but I'm not even like grumpy.

I guess I've never thought you were grumpy. I've known you for a long time now. I've never been like—

I think it's like the sense of humor around Boston with people. I don't— I don't know. Everyone's kind of like— you're just a love life, boys.

Yeah, you're Ray Sunshine. Yeah, thank you.

Wait, tell me something.

What's the best thing that's happened to you this week?

Week.

I think you're teeing me up with something right now.

No. Is your son still playing in a hockey tournament? We're just trying to prove that you're not a grump. Oh, oh, oh, we're going—

okay. I thought you had— I thought you were going somewhere else.

Yeah, no, no. Be happy.

Hey, just waking up this morning. There you go.

Every day. Every day you wake up above ground, that's a good day.

Hey, you wake up, breath in your lungs. Mm-hmm. Beautiful family. Yeah. Buddy, I'm living life. I'm loving life. Shout out Minty right now. Thank you for making me appreciate my life and getting out of the doom and gloom that I live in so close to home.

I think you got to go to a Panic! show with him.

I think, I think that's—

that is the solution to this. Burn the place down.

I got a question about— because you— are you coaching your son?

I coach, uh, yeah, my— oh, my middle guy Wyatt, he'll start next year, and then Ryder be a first-year squirt next year. I coach them, and then I'll help coach Why? I'm assistant coach, though, because I travel. All right. Be the head coach.

But I got a question about that. So, like, my kids play sports, but, you know, I'm like, hey, listen, as long as you learn how to, like, throw a ball and not look like a doofus. Yeah, that's the height of what I'm looking for. We're not— we're not going pro in anything. Like, we're— we're a podcasting family. That's what we do. Yeah, exactly. Is there part of you, though, that, like, is watching him like, this is what I was when I was his age? Or like, no, no, you can't do that. No, no, no. Because there are parents who probably do.

Listen, I So this is funny because we talk about this a lot. Like, there's completely psychotic sports parents, right? I'm not there. But if you're like doing it a lot, like you're a little crazy. Yeah. Like with— and hockey is— now I keep hearing baseball down south and every sport is a little ridiculous. There's club sports. It's all so broken. We could talk for hours, but I'm like putting in a lot of time with the kids and I love it, but I'm also like, bud, you got to just try hard and be a good teammate. Like, and if I see you not trying hard, like, I'm going to be upset, right? Like, it— I'm not trying to be like— it's not wins and losses. It's like, no. And it's— and, and there's time now. Ryder, he's 8. He turns 9 in November. It's like he comes to the bench sometimes crying when he makes a mistake. I'm like, bud, like, you can't. Yeah. And then like he does it like 3 games in a row and then I'm like getting mad at him on the bench and then after I'm like, what am I doing?

But I need to teach him not to cry while he's playing hockey. I mean, it's, it's a great experience. It brings back a lot of memories, but it's hard because I was so obsessed with hockey. It was, it was, there was nothing else that mattered to me ever.

Yeah. Yeah. Like school ever in my life.

And my oldest guy isn't like that and it's like Oh, it's just I think I'm starting to realize, or I am starting to realize, like, I was not the norm, right?

You know, but it's got to be weird being like, you know what, you, you hit the ceiling. You went, you played in the NHL. That is his genes. So like, yeah, like I said, like when I'm watching my kids, like, hey, listen, you could, you could try your absolute hardest. We're not going pro.

You know, I mean, like I said, I, the genes thing is like I don't know. Yeah, obviously you see a lot of former professional athletes whose kids play, you know, pro sports, but how many guys' kids play that you don't? It's— yeah, true, true. It's still so— the odds are just so ridiculous. I just am like, learn how to be a good teammate, right? I know that from my friends I talked to, a couple guys own their own businesses, the kids they hire are all former athletes. Like, not even necessarily like college athletes, but But it's just like being on a team and knowing what it takes to work together with people. And like, I don't know, that's why I love sports. Yeah. And no, the teamwork.

That's why I said like, I just tell being part of a team as a kid is very important. People will shit on some people's shit on sports, be like, you know, it doesn't really matter if they play. No, being part of a team, winning and losing, learning how to deal with that shit, learning to be there for your teammates. Yes. Those are life lessons. Does he have a good hockey birthday?

I— my oldest two, bad hockey birthday.

Oh no. Yeah, because it wasn't that—

that Malcolm Gladwell thing where he did the whole count. I have a great hockey birthday, February.

What's the— so it's February because that's when—

yeah, so like people who don't know, like you play with your, your age group. So the funniest thing is hockey people, it's so bizarre, you're talking to other parents, you're like, do you have a 2016? Do you have a 2019? That's how you just talk about the kids, right? Oh, you have a 2014 and it's just based on the fact that that's who you play with. So the January, February of the year are all like the sickest players. And at 8, 9, 10 years old, like a December is a, you know, it's a year younger than a January. It matters. It matters. So the hockey birthday thing's hilarious. So then our third is a May. So I'm like, okay, I'm like, May's a little closer to first. That's— yeah, it's in the first half. Oh, Oilers. Oh yeah, Connor McDavid, January 13th. But I love coaching because you just— to see a kid like improve and to see them like hockey or any sport more at the end of the year than they do at the beginning, big time. It's the best feeling. Like, it's like— because I just know how much I love the game.

If this kid ends up loving the game and just always being a hockey fan for life after he's done playing high school, college, whatever, then it's like, it's It's cool.

Did you have a coach that made you love the game or was it like you always just loved it?

You were— I always loved it, but that was because of my dad. So my dad made me love it and he played in high school, but he never— and he just loved it. And then I just— I was obsessed. I was— I was obsessed. I just remember like being so fired up on the bus ride home to go home and go put on my rollerblades and then be in my street for like 2 hours alone. That's awesome. Yeah. And then I'm like, Ryder, why don't you go out and shoot some pucks?

He's like, I'm all set. Yeah. Yeah. Do you, do you freeze a pond in your backyard? I built a rink. Yeah. So what's the steps on that? Because I saw, I saw a rink and I thought about getting a rink. Just, it'd be funny to have a tiny— So it's a sports rink here.

Yeah, it's a pickleball court in the summer. And then, you know, you, you soak it down with the water, you flood it, and then it freezes in the winter and then the boards are up. So that's actually the most fun thing the kids do. And like their buddies come over, you get a fireplace out there. Now we had about 15 feet of snow this winter, so I'm out there shoveling, shoveling. Now I had a lot of help with the shovel, I'm not gonna lie, guys. But there were a couple days somebody couldn't come over and shovel and I was out there. So yeah, I mean, it's, it's, it's pretty cool. My wife was disgusted. She's like, look at this, they got a rink in our backyard, it looks so stupid. No, it's awesome. And I was like, no, it looks great.

Yeah, it's like a carnival.

We got the pool, we get the rink, I got a little bocce ball. Mini bocce ball court. It's like a straight up like circus in my backyard. It was perfect.

What if you had a kid that was like, I want to be a goalie, Dad?

I say no. My middle guy has said it a bunch of times. I'm like, no, no. Why? No, I don't. I don't want anything to do with that. I don't know. Most goalies are pretty weird dudes. Yeah. And I don't know anything about the position, which is probably a good thing because I wouldn't— I wouldn't be able to tell him any nonsense. We've talked about my takes and no. No, no. How wrong I've been.

That no is for the game. We're in the third period now. Anaheim's on a power play. Oh, no.

Goal tending is, is just a weird, weird position. And watching the game as your kid's a goalie, that's got to be just—

it's got to be terrible. Terrible. So that's a hard no, do you think? Hard. But what? Okay, so it sounds like my dad. Sorry, but you're making your kids scared to, like, come out to you as being a goalie. They might be like going over to their friend's house and playing goalie because they're like, no, they've grown out of it already.

Okay, they've grown out of it. But when, when you're younger, you pass the pads around. So every kid plays goal. So my dad made sure I played against the best team. I gave up like 17 and was like, I'm never doing that again. That was the play. The worst day of your life. Yeah, exactly. All right.

So through the first 4 games, what was your— what was your final 2-1?

Come on. Here we go. Come on. Maybe Dickinson has been money. Not a score. I mean, that wasn't— that wasn't great. No. That wasn't great.

That was not great at all.

They're going back the other way, 2-on-1.

By the way, we got the TVs set, so we're not— we're not ahead anymore. Okay.

Oh my God, this is crazy, guys. I mean, this might be some of the worst podcasting of all time.

We do this all the time, it's great. Clear it.

All right, we can go back to our combo.

Who's gonna win the cup? It's tough to say.

Colorado's not gonna win. Yeah, they look so good. They're so nasty. I, I I think it'd be incredible, right? Like, obviously I want the Oilers. If the Wild— I want the Wild to get by Dallas. I picked Dallas.

That's been an unbelievable series.

That's been incredible. And did you— do you know, uh, the Wild have never held a 2-0 series lead in the, in the history of their franchise? And they haven't got out of the first round in a long time. 11, 12 years maybe. Yeah. Uh, Minnesota sports. Minnesota sports. They're just straight up cursed. But they got that win the other day. I feel like that was, that was the biggest game in the Minnesota Wilds franchise history, I said. Because yes, they've been to a conference final, but this year, like, Quinn Hughes all in, it's their time. Kaprizov makes $17 million a year starting next year. It's like, if they went down 3-1 again after winning game 1, after winning 6-1, yeah, um, that it just would have been such a disaster. But now we got a series, so it's, it's great. I, I like Quinn Hughes. I don't know if you guys have watched that. Yeah, this guy is— I don't get it. I don't get how he—

Well, no, he's canceled, so we don't watch Quinn Hughes.

Oh, yeah. Sorry. Yeah, he's canceled. He was with Cash. Yeah, he took a phone call in the locker room, laughed. And so he's done. And Cash shotgunned a beer in his face. It's over.

It's over. Do you think Cash probably listens to your podcast?

I was wondering that. Definitely. I was wondering that. Yeah. I wonder if you ever get away from all that. I mean, I don't.

Yeah, but what if you got in a little trouble with the law and you're like, hey, I need to get out of jail free. All right. Could—

yeah. You think? You think he'd help us? Yeah.

Yeah. I don't know.

So I just got off the phone with— yeah.

Doesn't he right now? He's got off the phone with the president. You could say that. All time right there.

I was on the phone with the president.

Yeah. So the president is also— that's— that's Schmaltz's co-host, Gucci. He's tweeted it about 1,000 times and I've laughed every time.

Oh, every fucking time he tweets it, I laugh when the Heat Daddy writes on the phone with the president, or just talking to the president. Ace here, I laugh every time.

Uh, yeah, I was just talking to the president. Oh man, it's so fucking good. All right, here we go, power play. Yes! Oh, you're ahead of us! I'm talking about— you're ahead of us!

That's what I'm talking about! That was bullshit! What did I tell you about Evan Bouchard? You did. Yeah, put your head down, McTavish. Feel shame in the penalty box. Evan Bouchard, good podcasting, boys. Over 90 points this year. Superstar. He's been called out for his play in the series. We got the lead. Oh my God, we— that's our second power play goal of the game. Power play was called out early. Look at McDavid, another point. Look at that shot, boys. This guy, he shoots at 103 miles an hour. One-timer, that's a snipe.

Hey, what'd you do with all your Ducks swag they sent you? Uh, was it nice? Was there any old school Mighty Ducks?

No, it's all the new colors. I wish they'd go back.

I know, these colors suck.

It's like hunting, right? It's like hunting color when you go duck hunting. Exactly.

You're right, which I'm doing right now. Right, right. You should be in the midst of killing ducks. Yep. Uh, the, the mask though is a big time giveaway they did that one night. The, the duck mask. Yeah, that's a solid one that I tweeted out. That's like, don't they go to the throwbacks?

Would—

I don't know, the best jerseys ever. These jerseys are horrible, horrible, I think.

Well, also it's like we were talking about the Flyers. The Flyers are orange. You can't also be orange. Oh, I know. Oh yeah, there we go.

We— what's that? Oh no, wait, PFT, but grab that, grab next to you. No, no, don't do that.

Grab the thing next to you.

Why are you doing that? I forgot we have a signed, uh, Mighty Ducks. Anaheim scores, I'm out of here. I'm telling you, for you putting that jacket on, we have a sign. So, so you're putting that jacket on? We went over this, we had the episode. I'm out of this room. Did you see this?

We have a signed Emilio Estevez. Oh, sick, dude. It's freezing in here. That didn't sound like you thought it was—

I mean, I don't know, it's like, it's not signed like— I don't know, Gordon Bombay. Yeah, I get it, it's just—

I don't know, you know what, forget it.

Fuck, I think that jersey would be better without the signature on there because fuck that jersey, you don't want it. I like just the Bombay, like you don't need his actual name. He should have signed it Gordon Bombay, not Emilio Estevez. Also, people don't talk enough about—

I agree with that.

Like, guy gets a DUI and they're like, hey, go coach Kings and then drive the limo on the ice.

That's crazy. Oh yeah, that's old school. DUI, that movie came out in like '93, I think. That was—

it was everything. Yeah, awesome. All right, uh, let's finish up. Rowback question. rhoback.com, promo code TAKE, 20% off first purchase. Q-tips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. rowback.com, promo code TAKE. Zach, I'm gonna give you the Rowback question.

Oh yes, he was not prepared.

What's going on? How are you doing today, man?

What's up, Zach? How you doing, buddy?

Doing well. Uh, quick question for you today. I was just curious, uh, where do you see this game going? Down to the wire.

Oh, he was not prepared.

He was not prepared.

Good question. That's a great question.

Thank you, sir.

I think we finish this thing off 4-2 with an empty netter.

All right. Serious question. Where do you think the Canadiens-Lightning series goes towards the end of it?

I think we go to Game 7 overtime. And who takes that? I think that that would be in Tampa. I picked Tampa, so I got to stick with them. But I'm rooting for Montreal. Is that okay, Zach? Completely understandable. I know you're a Tampa guy.

So you're rooting for them, but we both think Tampa will win. Is that what you're saying? Did I miss you?

Uh, yeah, I did. I picked Tampa before the series. Okay, I still think they'll win, but I'm not as confident as I was before the series.

You get it? I do. Let's get confident.

I like that. Let's get confident.

How sick was that Reuben Bain draft thing when he grabbed the hat?

It was pretty good, right? Yeah, very cool. I got a question. Wait, uh, the draft lottery that's coming up, uh, on Saturday, right?

Rigged. It's rigged. Well, I, I just say that. I just— look, I'm gonna say If Vancouver or Calgary doesn't get first overall pick this year, it's rigged. Okay. Like, if Chicago or the Rangers get it, there's going to be a problem.

I mean, yeah, the Blackhawks get it, that would be a big problem. 7 of a rebuild.

Now, by the way, I'm an Oilers fan. They had— they've had like 7 of them in the past.

Like, it doesn't— it doesn't equal success.

No, it doesn't equal Stanley Cup.

But wait, so Vancouver, they have the highest odds.

Yeah. And then I think Chicago is number 2.

Oh, I thought Calgary was 2. No, Calgary is 4. So 2 of the guys that you said rigged The Rangers?

No, the Blackhawks suck. Yeah. Okay.

All right. So real bad. Vancouver's never had the first overall pick. Yeah. And Calgary's never had a top 3 pick.

I don't think. That's crazy. So I don't know.

All right, so let's say if Vancouver doesn't get it rigged or straight numbers, is there a stud? So Gavin McKenna.

Oh, yeah.

Now just keep him out of bars. He's not as—

wait, did he do— did he get in a bar fight?

He knocked a guy out who was chirping his mom.

Oh, okay. Then that's just—

it's pretty legendary. Don't chirp. Don't chirp. A guy's 17-year-old freshman.

Yeah, some loser reminds me of Icy Vert Pickensburgh.

Yeah, that actually puts you to the top.

Yeah, it's a— it was a press. It was a press.

Well, he was getting pressed, but then he won the press.

Yeah, yeah.

He must have been impressed. Yeah.

And he pressed the shit out of that other guy with his fist. Yeah. Okay. Now, McKenna was going to be— he was guaranteed first overall. I think he's still going to go first overall. But it's— I think some people now who were saying like McDavid type player, that maybe they're thinking like he's going to be very good, but not McDavid, you know what I'm saying? Right. Kind of. Well, McDavid's the best. Yeah, he's the best, boys. He's the best. Yeah. Never seen a player like him in my life. I don't know if I ever will again either. Do you ever think in sports how weird it is when you see somebody that's so much better than everyone else But then, you know, 20 years later, there'll be somebody better than him.

Yeah, but maybe not with McDavid. But this might be as good as it gets.

Yeah. Does that make you depressed? It always does.

That makes me sad because I love McDavid so much that I don't think that anyone's going to be ever—

he always is in every sport.

But let me ask you a question.

Not McDavid.

Is there a comp? Don't try to do that because I think I know exactly what you're saying. But there's also guys who, like, you're like, I'm never going to see a guy exactly like this, like in terms of his skill set and what he does.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

I more think of like dominating the game. I don't know though. Like, I think they'll— I think they'll probably be somebody that's like faster and better than— there will be. Yeah, there has to be. Yeah. That's the craziest thing.

Like, I don't think we'll ever see someone exactly like Steph Curry again. Really? Yeah, exactly. Like, I just don't. I just think—

well, that's a— I don't know, product. So that, that league could be not even exist in 20 years.

The thing with Steph Curry is we've had, we've had millions of people over the years just grow up shooting basketballs. No one's ever been able to shoot, right?

And whoever becomes, whoever comes after him will just be like, oh, he's like Steph Curry. Steph Curry was the original in that. But also, no one's going to be the same way as Steph Curry, where it's like you'll never see exactly that type of skill set.

Yeah, no, I see what you're saying, but they'll— there will still be a player in every league in 20 years that you're just like he's the best. I can't believe this guy's this good.

Yeah, so I don't know, I, I, I do deep thoughts. I think way to go, Zach, you got us on a deep sack.

As good as it's ever gonna get. I think the NHL is in trouble after McDavid retires.

McDavid's got years, just so special, years and years and cups. And he's got another team he's gonna go to.

All right, I got some heat for that one. I said maybe he'd be on Detroit someday, and then I decided to go on the witness Protection Program. Oh no. But yeah, I don't know. I, I would love to see him win with the Oilers, man. I would say the guy signed a 2-year extension, $12.5 million, which is basically him. Yeah, he could have got $22 million.

Right. What would be the worst teams for McDavid to go to and then win multiple Stanley Cups?

The Panthers. Yeah. Yeah. If he joined a super team. Oh, the fun that would be. You know, that would be the best. He did that. We would never You would, you would have to quit.

He would never.

If he won, if he went to a super team and just rattled off some wins, we were just like, dude, sick league. I think if he went to—

oh buddy, if, if NHL started forming super teams, oh my God, it would— I would no longer be the, the most appearances on Pardon My Take. I'd never be on the show again.

What would be worse, if he went to, if he went to the Panthers, joined a super team, or if he went to the Kings and then just did the Gretzky path?

Yeah, but Gretzky won how many Cups?

Like, if he was ever on the Panthers with like the guy, like their core, and they won. But this is just never going to happen. So we're kind of talking real crazy now. I mean, let's get crazy. LA or Dallas or Tampa or something.

If we went to Pittsburgh, would that be a super team?

Uh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Crosby's like— Crosby's turning 39. You know, August 7th, you know, 8-7, that's his birthday. Do you know that? I didn't know that.

Not a hockey birthday.

Yeah, 8-7, '87. Not a hockey—

that's probably what made him so good though, because he had to play against like bigger guys growing up.

Uh-huh. Yeah, he was a prodigy.

He's what they call prodigy. I think he was playing like 2, 3 years up. Does that— so like, hey, you got an '87, then Troy Crosby, like, yeah, I got an '87, but he's playing with the '84s.

Wait, are you still— do you still talk to Sid?

Sid? Uh, the last time I talked to Sid, Kevin Hayes FaceTimed me and he was eating pregame meal with Sid, and then Sid's like, do you still have restless leg syndrome? I'm like, yeah. He's like, no shit. That was good.

But does Sidney Crosby— is he like, hey, Whit, you were my guy, you were my teammate, and all you do is suck off McDavid and say he's better than me?

I actually have never said he's better than— ah, so I've said he's the best hockey player I've ever seen. Oh no, but, but I'm like, Crosby's like the best ever. Yes. Does that mean—

Yeah, no, that's, that's a good—

That sounds so weird. No, it's good takemanship where you just don't want to—

Actual skills of the game.

Yeah, but like Crosby's like, no, we go—

It's like a Brady-Mahomes.

Yeah, you can do like best and then greatest. Yeah, best and greatest is different.

Like where like people try, you know, the Aaron Rodgers. Do people say Aaron Rodgers, the best football player, like quarterback they've ever seen?

But he hasn't won the most. Tom Brady is the greatest. Yeah.

Aaron Rodgers is the best. There you go. Yeah. Right. There you go. But I mean, you know, McDavid needs to get like one to be then— to be in the conversation. But then here's—

Rodgers got one. I just want to just prepare you for something with that. Not that we'd ever do such a thing, but if he's really, really fucking good and he just wins one, then later on we'll be like, he really isn't the best ever if he only won one.

That's interesting coming from an Ovi guy.

No, I'm sad. Well, I'm not here making the claim that he is the best. Ever.

You've never said, oh, he's the best ever.

I say he's the best goal scorer ever.

Oh, okay. Well, he's only got one cup.

Okay.

I didn't say best goal scorer ever. I mean, I don't think— yes, Crosby's got 3, Gretzky's got 4, Messi's got 6. Like, if you get one, you got— you got it.

You got to have your name on the—

you got to get the one. You got to get— like, I— like, for Joe Thornton and Jerome McGinlay, Lundqvist, like, there's no way it doesn't eat at him a little bit. You know, it always will. It's like, you got to get one. And for him, for McDavid, Yeah, if he, if he ever finished without one, I would feel, I would feel really bad for him.

I really should have brought up the one cup thing. That was a big misstep.

Yeah, I don't think you were thinking about our guy over there. I was talking about him beforehand.

You walked right into that one. All right, Whit, you're the best. We'll, we'll have you back on closer to Cup Final. And thank you. Good luck. Anytime.

I appreciate it. I can't wait to read the book. Who of these goons had the best chapter?

Zach, because Zach Zach, I can't stress this enough. Zach has the most misspelled words per word count. He wrote a paragraph for the end of the book, a paragraph with— and I counted like 17 words spelled in a pair. So they should leave them misspelled. Oh, yeah.

No, no, no. We told them, OK, no, no.

They were like, actually not, not contentious. But we told the people who are putting together the book, we're like, listen, I know this goes against everything you think a book should be. But you have to tell the copy editor to not touch, yeah, like Hank's chapter, Zach's chapter. Like, you can't do anything. So it's getting— you're getting as pure Zach as you want on the book.

What did Hank say?

Hank just missed out on stuff. Hank had good stuff. Yeah, good stuff to say. I think that memes, his chat, that's going to read more like a manifesto.

Yeah, yeah, they'll pull that up in a court talk. So that might be— is memes back there?

Yeah. So I get Oh no, he's not back.

Memes went to go take a shit like 45 minutes ago.

So I texted Dan the other night and I was like, man, is Memes like a sociopath? Like, yes, he like scares me a little bit. I love him, but he's— his sports teams and everything and just— he's just— I think he's gonna kill Hank. Yeah, yeah. Like, it's like not even joking. It's good though.

We need the edge. He's the edge. You need the edge. Like, he's just a grumpy— that's a grumpy guy. Like, if you're looking for a grumpy guy—

yeah, but look at his teams. I know, right?

He kind of— you, you can see how he developed that. But there was a moment on, on Thursday where if the, the Jets had moved up and drafted Carson Beck—

and I saw, I saw some of those clips where he was like, I'm gonna burn this. He meant it.

That was— he was 100% serious.

No, I thought— there's been multiple times I thought Memes was gonna swing on me. Really? Yeah. Oh yeah, like he'll, he'll ball his fist. I know. Yeah, just be like, dude, are you about to punch me?

He, he's, uh He's an amazing follow, that guy. He's great. What was I just going to ask you? I had one more thing. Oh, it's funny. When does your book come out?

August.

August. And when does Dave's come out? July. So more sales. That is going to be— I mean, if you guys sell more books than he does, that's a nice leg up to have on.

I mean, he's got— he's probably got some more salacious stuff. We do. I will say our book came together very well. And we also got like, like you wrote a chapter, JJ Watt, like Blake Griffin, all these guys who've meant a lot to Joe Buck, SVP, like they all were— Silo. So it's cool.

That's cool. He did a chapter. Yeah, I'm a big SVP fan. The best. The best. Yeah, the guy is— he just seems salt of the earth.

Highest approval rating of anyone in media.

Yeah, I think I know nobody doesn't like him.

No, I'd say if you don't like him, you're just— you're like brain dead. Him and Barkley. Yeah, probably, probably one.

Yeah, Barkley, by the way, speaking of the NBA argument, him being on the halftime show and saying, thank God for hockey, this game is so bad. Yeah, that right there is enough. Yeah, it's pretty incredible.

So he's the best. All right, thank you.

Anytime.

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This is a paid advertisement. Okay, good show, boys. By the way, I, I'm talking to Icy Vert now. I think he's got— I think Pickensburg's got to go to Philly. I think that's really what it is. He said Icy Vert made a good point. He's like, the league scheduling two, you know, back-to-back road games for him was— you can't have that.

Pickensburg got back to me, said, I never got word if they're planning to come back to Pitt, but I'm going for sure. The Pens need me in the arena. I'll say they do.

All right, you know what, I'm gonna say Icy Vert might be there. So Pickensburg, you have to look out for him because he said maybe.

So do you want to buy him a ticket?

Yeah, I said I'd buy him a ticket. So yeah, he probably would be there. And then what's Pickensburg If Pickensburg— if you— if Icy Vert's not there for Game 5 and the Penguins win, you have to go to Philly for the second press-off. You have to.

So am I buying? No. Are we sitting Pickensburg?

We'll take that part offline.

He says he's going for sure. Yeah.

So he's already set.

Okay. So the Pens need him.

Yeah. Ask him where he's sitting and then we'll just put— we'll put Icy Vert in the same section if we can.

Sick. Where are you sitting? Yeah.

I mean, you just, you can't have another man touch your shoulder. That's just a fact. I know. I said, oh, I got a, uh, I got a Monday reading. Do you guys want to do a quick Monday reading? Okay, here's the Monday reading. Uh, hold on. Okay, uh, Monday reading. Um, this is at 4:48 a.m. today. Memes, what are you guys thinking for food? I replied, this is something good. Pizza, wings, sushi. And then at 5:12, and then Jacob replied at 5:13, there's a good chance I'm a little late tonight. I am in the hospital. I got hit by a car door opening into the bike lane while I was on my scooter. I'm okay. Just don't know when they'll let me out. And then Hank replied, sushi sounds good.

All-time bar from Hank.

I laughed so hard when they said that. Jacob, I'm in the hospital. Yeah, sushi sounds good.

It was borderline. I was like this. I was— I had typed out sushi sounds and then you got Jacob's text came through. I read them, was like— I, I kind of started deleting and I was like, nah, this is—

yeah, no, it's so funny.

It's so funny. Yeah, that, that was to be so funny.

Yeah, chat thinks you're being really funny right now.

I laughed, felt bad, started deleting. I was like, fuck it.

No, it was good.

It played. No hard feelings. It was funny.

Jacob, can we find this woman who hit you with the car door?

It would be great if there's any good scooter versus car lawyers in the Chicago area.

Morgan and Morgan.

Morgan and Morgan. I will be contacting them tomorrow.

So what happened? You just got smoked?

Yeah, smoked. I had no reaction time whatsoever. I was going about 15 to 18 miles an hour down Chicago Avenue. In Chicago, and then surprise, surprise, and then someone, Uber passenger, opened her back rear door into like the rightest most lane, the only area where I could ride a bike or scooter. I hit the edge of the door full speed into my hip. I have the biggest bruise I've ever had. And then that threw me into the car, parked car on the right, and then I went onto the ground. So really hurt. And then the lady got out of the car, asked if I was okay, but kind of more in like a lawyer manner, like, are you okay? Oh, I was like, yeah, while I was writhing in pain. And then she was like, okay, you're okay. And then she started arguing with the Uber driver as to why she didn't need to give her information because the driver already had her information in the app. And then she walked away.

Hmm. Sounds like she pressed you.

Yeah, she pressed. You got— never let a car door touch you. No, but you're okay.

So you went to the hospital.

I went to the hospital. X-rays, CT scans, which was a little scary. I've never had a CT scan, but it made my penis very warm. What? Yeah, dude, it was the strangest feeling ever. They were like, all right, you're going to feel a urinating sensation. I was like, what? Is this going to make me pee? But it didn't. It was just— it was really strange. I didn't really like it.

And also, we should just— for anyone out there who doesn't know Jacob, Jacob is a former Division I football tryout almost guy. So he's got good reaction time.

Yeah, they left me with absolutely none.

He tried out to almost be an elite athlete. SEC, SEC football, almost D1.

Tried out for the Florida Gators 4 times. At the position of running back, fullback, or special teams. I've never played football before in my life.

Hey, you are Bernard.

You are Bernard. Yeah. Yeah. So I figured I'd give it a shot. I did. And they didn't take me. It's Billy Napier's biggest what-if at the University of Florida.

People say that's why he's at JMU now, because he didn't— he didn't get you at Florida. Exactly.

Was Billy Napier there for the tryout? No. Okay.

Never saw him at any 4 of the tryouts but quality control staff got to know me pretty good.

But now you're laying out car doors? Yeah! Well— You took the hit, tough guy.

No, but you took the hit dude.

That was my argument was I could show up and be a tackling dummy if needed. And the car door kind of made me the tackling dummy today.

Proof of concept. All right. We gotta find this chick.

Yeah let's find it. Morgan Morgan, I'll be hitting you up tomorrow.

And you did eat some of the sushi though. Sushi. I did.

I did get some sushi. So Hank was right. Thank you, Hank. Yeah, Hank.

Hank always sounds good. So you did sound good. All right. Good show, boys. Uh, numbers. Kyle Schwarber on Wednesday. Awesome. 11. In studio.

4. 85. 77. 56. 91.

24. Anyone else going to get this?

87. Because I have 69.

34. Anyone got 34?

Nope. No, 34. 34. One more, one more, one more.

Same numbers, everyone. 77. You had 24, Shane. So not 34.

Problem is it's not 34. Yeah, this could be 24 though. It could be 24 right here. 24, 24 for Shane. Is it 24?

87. 87. Wait, who said that? Jacob! What a day! What a day!

The ups and downs.

Welcome. Never a dull day.

Welcome, Jacob. You want to give a speech, Jacob?

Yeah, give a speech. Quick speech.

Um, I would like to thank first and foremost my family, uh, the Academy. The fuck, dude? Uh, this podcast, part of my take. Thank you. Yeah. Uh, and my least of all thanks goes to the B-word who hit me.

No, she's a bitch.

But thank you to this podcast. Throw a C-word on her name.

What? We don't—

don't say C-word. Cock sucker.

You can say any word you want.

I'll agree.

Okay. That was a great speech.

That's exciting.

Into the mic. Keep going. Keep going with the speech. Thanks to more people. Thanks to more people.

Thank you, Shane, Zach, Max, Colton, Pug, Memes, Big Cat PFT, Hank. Thanks to all you guys. Girlfriend. Oh, my girlfriend. Oh, yeah. Who I don't want to dox. Yeah. The doctors at Northwestern Medicine. Yeah, who are very good with giving me my scans and taking my blood and everything.

Your penis. Your penis for not peeing.

Thank your penis. Yeah, your penis for not peeing. Your penis that got hot.

Yeah, that was a weird part, but everything else was pretty cool.

Great job, Jacob. Proud of you, dude. Welcome to the club, me and you. Anyone else going to get in? Mims County, you're not in. You're not in. You're coming. Coming. You're coming. Whose birthday is it? Oh, that would suck.

I'm never going to come. All just happened. Happy birthday to Keenan Allen, Charger. Also, happy birthday. I forgot my dog's birthday on Saturday. So happy birthday to Blake. A little bit late. And then on Tuesday, happy birthday to Blake Bortles. Blake of the year. Two-time Blake of the year. Blake Bortles. Also, happy birthday to Lizzo. There you go. No one else has anything to say to Blake? Blake Portals? Happy birthday, Blake. Yeah, happy birthday. Wish Blake a happy birthday. What about your dog, Blake? Well, his birthday was yesterday.

Happy belated. Happy belated, Blake. He says thank you.

I gave him a bunch of hot dogs.

Blake Portals doesn't strike me as a birthday guy. You might actually be breaking the news to him.

Yeah, Tuesday is his birthday. It's your birthday tomorrow, Blake. Just be ready. You're going to get a lot of texts from people. Love you guys. Happy birthday, Arch Manning. Oh, no. Oh, Arch Manning. Yeah, great friend, Arch Manning. Oh, he did it again. PFT, forgot a friend. And Patrick Stump, the guy who looks like PFT. Who's that? You know, that band.

02:40:41

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