Transcript of CFB Mega Preview W/ Brandon Walker & Tom Fornelli, Waterdog CJ Kirst, Mt Rushmore Of Worst Favors, Micah Parsons Traded During Fyre Fest

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On today's part of my take. We have an awesome show for everyone. We have our college football mega preview, Brandon Walker, our reigning college football expert, and Tom Fornelli, the greatest insider in all college football. Head to head on the couch talking everything, making their picks. We also have our 11 draft pick for the Water Dogs.

C.J.

Kirst in studio. He flew out here before our our big semifinal game on Monday. Yeah, the Water Dogs are in the semifinals. Yeah, we're kind of working on a dynasty. We are going to talk some football. We're going to do the finale of the Mount Rushmore regular season. We still could have a duel with the Mount Rushmore of worst favors to be asked. And then we're going to finish off with Fyre Fest and send you into a long weekend of football. And it's all brought to you by DraftKings. The rivalries, the marching bands, the upsets. Saturdays just got way more fun. College football's back. Think you know the game? Put your college football knowledge to the test with DraftKings sportsbook and turn your picks into big payouts. From live betting during the game to rivalry week, odds boost, and so much more, DraftKings sportsbook has everything you need to stay in the action from kickoff to the final whistle. Whether you're betting on your go to team or or making moves mid game as the momentum shifts, Saturdays are yours to own with DraftKings Sportsbook. Here's something special for first timers. New customers bet $5.

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See DKNG Co Audio. Okay, let's go.

I love guys who like football, and.

Guys who like football, they like me.

Back, and I like them back.

And even guys that don't like football.

They try to avoid me because I'm always trying to get them to like football.

Football, football. Welcome to part of my take, presented by DraftKings. Download the DraftKings sportsbook app. Use code TAKE. That's code TAKE for new customers to get in bonus bets instantly when you bet just five bucks. In partnership with DraftKings Sportsbook, the crown is yours. Today is Friday, August 29th. Hank, can I say it finally?

Sure can.

Football is back.

We did it, guys.

It's so bad. Oh, memes is fist pumping. Fuck, yes.

Big, big weekend of football. Football.

So back.

I think it's the backest it's ever been.

Yeah.

Can you remember a year where it was more back?

No.

When they did the. I think it was Virginia Tech played that first game.

No, but it. It wasn't fully back or. You're not talking about the coveted year?

No, I'm talking about the year after year after when it was. The fans were back and it was like, holy. Now we're really.

Is that like Virginia Tech, NC State, something like that.

Yeah. And it was just. The crowd was going nuts like, holy. This is. We're so back. But, yeah, football's back. We're excited for the football weekend. We have Brandon Walker versus Tom Fornelli for like an hour talking college football. We might put together a little parlay here in a minute. We. I'm going to say it right now because it's. It popped in my head. What is it called? Intrusive thoughts. Intrusive thoughts. We're taping this in the afternoon. Wisconsin plays tonight. If something bad happens, we will have to record an update.

I'm rooting very hard for Wisconsin.

Yes.

Same, same.

Yeah, Very same.

Well, Hank will be at Oasis. Yeah.

Blood.

That's how that's how. That's how back football is. Hank is going to a football stadium.

Yep.

We're not.

We're not doing that.

We're not going to a football stadium. You are now. It is for a conference concert and you're not going to watch any football.

But I'm going to be doing it.

No.

This is how back football is. I'll be doing a fantasy football draft at Oasis.

In a football stadium.

In a football stadium.

Holy shit.

Are you.

Do you have a bucket hat?

Yeah, obviously.

Okay.

Obviously.

Can you send the boys. Yes. Group pick.

Absolutely. I will. I will be doing shout out to game time. I'll be doing a game time ad Read.

Love it.

And I'll be in a bucket.

So if somebody asks you at the concert what your favorite city in Liverpool is, what's your answer?

I thought Liverpool was a city.

Okay.

So I don't. I don't have an answer.

Yeah.

Okay.

Also, the answer would be Everton.

Tottenham Shout out manufacturer. Yeah.

All Time choke.

Did they bottle it yesterday?

All time choke.

Big bottling. Manu lost to like a Division 3 team yesterday.

Love it. You're a Manu guy, right?

As I was singing a song at Mirage, we were doing a parcel after dark stream and I. He taught me the lyrics of the song. We were singing it. So it was a great song. He posted it. Then people were like, as a Tottenham fan, you should not be singing this song.

Wait, you're a Tottenham fan?

That's what I said the other day.

Oh, yeah, Yeah. I can't. I couldn't keep track. Yeah, I was Washington Huskies.

No, no, no, no. Unc.

Yeah. So, Hank, this weekend you're gonna be so locked in on football that you're going to be just watching college football all day Saturday. Right?

I'll watch some football Saturday.

Love it.

Going to some season. Volleyball.

You're gonna be watching volleyball on Saturday.

And football.

But your favorite sports.

Football Sandwich.

Yeah. That's just ball. You. Ball is life for you.

So I was looking at the schedule. I will not be leaving my couch all day Saturday. I'm going to be watching. I might go to a bar and watch some, but I'm going to be watching football all day. But if you had to leave for a little bit, there is a. There's a window in the. That would be optimal for that.

It basically there's a spot where. Is Alabama killing them or not?

Yep.

That's really what the. The spot you're talking about.

Exactly.

Yeah. And Alabama is playing against Florida State. Thirteen and a half. I Think it's the new. I think Al or Florida State was one of those teams that I feel like they have been doing construction on their stadium for about a decade, and I think it's done. Yep, it's finally done.

You know what I love about week one? The Buckeyes helmets. Nobody's got a sticker yet.

Yep.

Everything looks pristine and clean. I always thought that the Buckeyes, they should. They could play a prank on everybody, give their worst players a bunch of stickers, and then during a game, you're like, oh, we got to guard that guy. He's got a helmet full of stickers.

Yeah.

And then the guy without anything, he's the good player.

Yeah. It's going to be kind of genius move. Arch's first big game on the road. Football's back, by the way. Speaking of football being back, two programming notes. One, as always, Labor Day week. So Labor Day's Monday. Remember to change your clocks. That's Sunday night, right?

Sunday night. Well, it's technically Monday morning.

Okay, Monday morning.

But it's at, like, 3am Monday morning.

We go.

You change your clocks back. So make sure you do that because you don't want to miss any football. And then, so we will have shows Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, next week. We always do three shows.

We keep.

Put it into four days. And also, programming note, because the FS1 show is starting out of these offices, we are going to be releasing the part in my take YouTube, an hour earlier every single show day. So the YouTube will now drop at 6am Eastern, 5am Central. So it has been. I know people can have seen it. We've. It's an algorithm thing. You got to drop it at the exact same time every single show. We started doing it at 7:00am Central, 6, 6 o' clock Eastern. We're gonna move it up an hour. So that's actually confusing because you're gonna move your clock back, and then we're gonna move our YouTube back or up.

Well, Max just has to be concerned about that more than anybody. Yeah, he's just got to press the button one hour early.

And you know what? Let's get some people to subscribe. Let's get some subscriptions, Right? Memes, you do a subathon.

Everyone subscribe.

Everyone please subscribe. Jerry o' Connell showed you that we got to do it. Thank you, Jerry o'. Connell. Thank you for his service. We were the number one podcast on Spotify and Apple.

I love that. Thank you, Jerry.

A lot of times, but we were specifically after Jerry.

Yeah. Also, I'D like to apologize to Stavros Stavi. Sorry. I know there was some great tape of Stavi that came out today. Did you see him? He was, like, at some sort of film festival.

Okay.

Rocking a tux. Two gorgeous women on each arm look great. Apparently, Travis Kelsey unfollowed him.

What?

And it might have had to do with us repurposing the clip where he was very upset at the Chiefs.

Oh, no.

I think Travis needs context behind that, which is. That was fresh off the heels of beating the Ravens. Stavi was saying a lot of things.

Oh, no.

We were in international waters. Look at that picture. Look at that. Man.

He looks great.

That is SEC boyfriend.

He looks great.

That is a man of class and leisure.

Oh, no.

So, Travis, we're not going to ask you to. To follow us. We're not going to ask you to come on the show. Just refollow Stavi. Yeah, he was speaking from a place of pain.

Kill Trav. Come on, dude. Savvy looks great in that tux. Kind of looks like the Pringles guy.

Yeah. No offense, you know, if the Pringles guy was also the Monopoly Man.

Bunch of pop.

You can't stop. Yeah.

All right. Should we talk a little football? Let's do some NFL. Then we'll do our picks for. We'll do a parlay for the people for college football. And then again, we have a mega preview. Henry. Yeah. Congratulations on Tommy DeVito.

Thank you. Did you know that Tommy DeVito was a patriot?

I did know that he was Patriot. I did not know he was from Massachusetts.

Oh, okay.

I thought he was from New Jersey. I think he's from New Jersey. Are you thinking of his agent? Sean Stellato, Maybe John Salado, recurring guest of the show. That was played again. Yeah, he played against McShay. Yeah. Yeah. So congrats. You're gonna get Italian on us. Nah, I. I don't.

I'm. I'm not.

I know. This is a pro Italian podcast. I'm Irish.

Okay. So no.

So you hate Italians. No, I'm. I'm not it.

You know?

No. You are not a fan of Italians.

Yeah, I think there's one Italian that's kind of soured the whole bunch for you.

No, it's just. I don't know.

I'm not.

I'm not.

I'm not gonna be. I'm not gonna be out here, you know, doing. Doing this all the time.

Unless.

Unless if he gets hurt, he's playing.

Yes.

I'll have no choice, Hank. But the second I'm not going to be a fake. I feel like a lot of people just kind of like, fake. Do the Italian thing. Like, I'm not going to be one of those people.

If he gets in and he plays well, he throws a touch on your. He's not going to happen.

The best is that he gets in.

We're.

Oh, no offense.

No offense. The. The best is. Pft. Just said it's one Italian. You're thinking of. Our entire production staff is Italian.

Yeah, that.

There. We have nothing.

There's like 20 people you could be talking about. I'm not even sure which one.

Smack.

Shane. Pug. All vowels.

All the henomies.

Yeah. All the enemies have vowels at the end of their name.

A lot of Italian enemies.

I like this. You got to get a war on Italy.

No, no, no.

There's no beef.

I've done a good job not, you know, just. Just biting my tongue, but, like. Yeah, I'm not. It is what it is.

No, Hank, you're just reliving World War II.

Yeah.

You got you. You're siding with England. You're going to go against Italy. We got to get Germany in the mix. Go against them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Access of evil.

Yeah.

Was that access? Access. Okay.

Right.

Well, it was access. You said.

How do you feel about Japan?

Hate him.

Love it.

Yeah. That's good. Never forget Pearl Harbor.

Yeah. All right, so Tommy DeVito is patriot. Did you guys see LeBron's NFL players to watch this year?

I did not see that from LeBron.

Are you ready?

Did not come across my desk.

I'll say right now, LeBron not a lover of ball because my NFL players to watch are all of them.

Fair point.

I wouldn't.

You agree?

His players to watch are C.J. stroud, Lamar Jackson, Debo.

Okay.

Lad McConkey, Kyle Hamilton, and T. Higgins.

Those are all good players.

Yeah, Those are his players to watch.

Those are all. They've been really good players for a long time.

Don't know what the assignment was, but.

He must have just done a fantasy draft.

Yeah, but no, Kyle Hamilton's defense.

True. Yeah. Do you think he saw Debo and he was like. He reminds me of Luca for some reason.

Yeah. Gotta get him shape.

Yeah.

But. Yeah, that I don't really understand. You know what? Let's all do six players to watch.

Okay, I'll start.

Caleb Williams.

Did you read the article today?

What was it?

There's an article that came out in ESPN today. It was. It was honestly eight paragraphs about why he stopped paying. Painting his nails Last season.

Okay.

And the fact that he is back to painting his nails now.

Love that. He needs to get back to basics.

Yeah. It's like the peak.

The basics here are painting your nails.

Yeah. The fluffy feathers are puffed up again.

Yeah. All right, so Caleb Williams is my. Is my one to watch. Malik neighbors.

Okay.

2. Spencer Rattler.

Okay.

3. Starting quarterback of the Saints. Let's go. 4. RJ Harvey. 5. Although I'm kind of straying from the LeBron assignment here, he's probably. I need to pick guys that are more well known.

Yeah.

Five will be Patrick Mahomes. Six. Josh Allen.

Damn. You took two.

Those are my. Those are my players to watch.

I've got two of those on the list. Yeah.

Pretty good players to watch.

I'm going to go with Jaden Daniels.

Okay.

I'm going to go. Good pick. Thank you. Thank you. You should watch him. He's good. I'm going to go with Debo Samuel as well. LeBron knows.

Oh, no, you can't. You can't take LeBron.

Okay. Terry McLaurin.

Yep.

Is two. Bill Crosky. Merritt is three. Matt Gay is four.

Okay.

Tress Way is five. Mike Sanras still is six and Jonathan Jones is seven. I have seven on my list.

Hank, are you googling players?

Nope.

You just googled players. Take away. Take that phone away.

Come on, Come on.

Just give us six players to watch.

We're gonna go Stefon Diggs.

Okay.

We're gonna go with Joe Burrow.

Yep. That's a good player to watch.

We're going to go Mark Andrews. We are going to go with Drake. London.

Okay.

We are going to go with Tua. What's. What's he going to be like this year? Is he going to be dead? Is he going to be alive? Who knows?

I don't think NFL fans want to watch London.

And then we are going to go with Christian Kirk.

Oh, okay. Interesting one. And what team is he on? Christian Kerr is.

Oh, man.

Is he on the Texans? Yep.

He is, actually. Yep. Let's go.

Ball nowhere tonight.

You know it. We're gonna do new.

New.

What do we always.

Same faces, new places. Places.

Yeah. Zach, you want to give us six players to watch? Six players you could watch this NFL season.

We're gonna go with the Brock Bowers you could watch.

I like that a lot better. There are six players. Yeah. Make the graphics. Six players you could watch.

Oh, I've got another. I got another iteration after Zack stuff.

Yeah. Brock Bowers, Bucky Irving, George Kittle, Emika. Mbuka, I may have said that incorrectly. That's fine. We knew who you're talking about in CJ Stroud. Is that five?

That was five. But you took one of LeBron's.

You can't say CJ.

I can't.

I can't. I'm still. I'm hard stuck at four. You're hard stuck at four?

No.

We got 200 players to watch.

Maybe.

Maybe we watch Tariq Hill.

If he's okay, him and the Dolphins get along okay.

And then if Tua stays healthy.

Nope, that's Hanks. I'm back to five. This is not good.

Okay.

Hard five. Josh Allen.

This is not good.

Sorry. Christian McCaffrey. There we go.

Yeah, that's good.

Nice. Retired memes. You got them. Your six. You could watch Puna Ford. Yeah.

One, one.

Yeah.

Quinn and Williams.

Nick Folk.

Okay. Jets kicker Quincy Williams. Okay. Brother of Quinn and Jermaine Johnson. Okay. Will McDonald. Okay.

And we'll go Javante Williams.

Oh, all right.

Good picks. Good picks. What about five players? As a podcast, we can all contribute. Five players in the NFL you do not want to watch.

Oh, okay. I think Dak Tua.

Dak like players.

Spencer Rattler.

Rattler is a good one.

Yeah.

Someone who's shit. You're sick of.

I'm sick of their Kyler.

Yep.

And then we have one more.

Deontay Johnson.

Deontay Johnson is good. When. Although he's not on a team right now.

Is he good? That's why NFL is so bad, because we don't have to watch him.

Yeah, that's a good one.

Deontay Johnson. Okay.

All right. That's good. There are five players that we don't want to watch. All right, the. Let's see what else we got. Oh, Adam Thielen's back on the Vikings.

Yeah.

That was cool for him.

It was nice in Minnesota to just let Carolina hold him for a little bit.

Yeah.

Okay. Do you want to. Do you want to hold my baby? Okay. I need my baby back. Yeah, just release him. Let him go. Thanks for paying him.

Yeah. Now. Now he comes, comes home. Because Vikings need receivers. Yeah.

It was pretty cool that his family was pumped to go back to Minnesota.

Yes. Very, very cool. We also had the new uniforms, which I. I feel like an old man. I don't like the new I. This is the NBA offication of the NFL.

Yeah. I liked kind of the Seahawks one, and I kind of like the 49ers black one.

The Seahawks was just Oregon.

Yeah. Which is why I kind of like it A little bit. And the 49ers black uniform. That's kind of cool. The one with Josh Allen holding the snowball and, like, looking all iced out. That doesn't look like Buffalo. Bring back. And I know they're. They're doing it this year, but the red helmet, blue uniform combo is elite.

I'll say it again, though. It's. So the actual jerseys that they put out there are, like. I don't like them, but they're fine. Whatever. The 49ers have a classic uniform. That is football. You close your eyes. That is football. I don't need a new 49ers uniform. The same goes for the Dolphins. I do not need, like, being like, oh, what if we made. What if we made this classic uniform, this classic franchise, and we just made their jerseys black?

Yeah.

That's what they did for the 49ers and dolphins. I don't like it.

The. The black Dolphins uniform looks like the Panthers.

Yeah. So that's really what it comes down to is, like, the actual uniforms. Okay. You could sell me on a couple of these being okay. I just. I covet the NFL. I want to hold it, and I don't want them to do what they do with the NBA. And you have a bunch of, you know, jerseys that don't look like the classic jerseys that we love. And also just changing color schemes. Like, the Dolphins shouldn't wear black.

Yeah. What about the Patriots, Hank?

They're all right.

I haven't.

I, like.

I haven't liked a lot of the choices they've made with their jerseys the last five or six years. They're kind of cool. I like what they did with the. The number. They kind of went to the retro, like, royal blue jerseys they Wore in the 90s. They copied that, like, italicized number style.

It's cool.

What would you like to see them wear?

I want to see them go back to the throwback, like, 1990s. Drew Bledsoe, Scott Zolak, Ty Law, like, 1996 jerseys or something.

Like the blue ones. Or do you like the red ones?

The red ones. Those are, like, the 70s. They'll do those, you know, once. Once every few years. Like throwback. I think they should just, like, go back to the blue one.

It's. It's. It's crazy that teams just don't like. Teams have good jerseys in their past, and they're like, ah, you know what? Let's just make a new jersey and, oh, we can't figure it out.

We'll make it black.

Well, I thought with the Patriots, it was like once Brady left, it was like it was time you could make a switch with jerseys where it's like the Patriots will always be remembered with the Tom Brady those type of jerseys. But you might as well make a switch now because.

They'Re also trying to do. It's. It's like a new initiative called rivalry jerseys, which is like they're. They're going to have one game a year where you wear your rival jerseys. And now that's going. You know what the week of, we're going to be all into it, but I don't want. It's rivalry jersey week.

But when I think of the rivalries, I want to think of the classic jerseys.

Yeah.

What memes did you like? The Jets?

Not really.

Yeah.

The.

Some of them are also just too similar. Yeah. That's on Dark Week 14. It's. It's what's happening with, you know, the Cracker Barrel.

Thankfully, they switch back, thank God.

But that's what. What all these new logo designs are. They're basically taking all of, like, the interest and uniqueness of a logo and making it this minimalist blah. And we all live in this weird, concrete world that it's apple. Apple just kind of has made everything uniform.

Yeah. These woke new jerseys.

Yeah.

They stink.

It's Big Brother. They're just trying to take away any uniqueness. I don't know. I, I don't like. I don't like change.

Yeah. I also like being at a stadium and looking around and everybody's wearing more or less the same jersey.

Yeah.

Like, yeah, Maybe it's from 10 years ago when it was Adidas, before it was Nike or whatever. But by and large, it is the same color scheme that everybody's wearing.

Yeah. I just like thinking of old football. I mean, we're, we're. We're going to have Michael Irvin on next week, so. People should watch the Cowboys documentary because we'll do a quick review of it. Just like listening to Pat Summerall and seeing, you know, Cowboys jersey versus the 49ers jersey. That's. That's football. That's football.

Now, if the Dolphins had done what the Bills did, all white uniforms, and then they've got their players holding what appears to be a giant ball of cocaine, that would have been awesome. I would be 100% in on that.

So in. Okay. Hank Ryder Cup.

Yep.

How do we think it went?

Not surprising. I was hoping Keegan was going to pick himself. He did not.

I really want him to pick himself.

So Did I? But it's exciting. It's exciting.

The.

They posted the Ryder cup, did the call he had with Sam Burns. You could tell, you know, Keegan wanted to pick himself, but he's taking. It's, it's. It was the right move, I guess, to not pick himself for the team. It's better for the team and everyone can kind of rally around. Like, they all know that Keegan wanted to pick himself. So it's like, you got to win one for the captain.

That's true.

So that I, I like that I've spun it that way in my head and I think that I, I like our chances.

Is it better, though? Because I feel like if he had picked himself, then 100 of the pressure is on him.

But if, if, you know, they're all, they're all friends and stuff, and if someone got overlooked, like, you know, people are like, oh, he should have not picked themselves. And then it becomes a distraction.

Right? Yeah, they're basically. He's basically saying, hey, guys, I took one for the team here. I could have picked myself. I didn't pick myself. Go win this for me.

Yeah.

Yeah, they better win.

I don't like Patrick Cantlay, but I kind of like the idea that he's on our side now. Oh, yeah, we get to weaponize him now.

Yeah. What weekend is the Ryder cup again?

It's 22nd.

So excited. That's the. I think that's the weekend with all the, like, Alabama, Georgia, LSU, Ole Miss, Ravens, Chiefs, 26, 26 to 28th.

Yep.

That's the weekend of everything.

It's going to be pants tightening.

Make sure that weekend is free. Do you guys want to do a little parlay for the people? Sure do. Okay. DraftKings. We love DraftKings. College football's back. The rivalries, the marching bands, the upsets. And for College Football Week 1, DraftKings sportsbook is celebrating football's return with four games of the week profit boost all weekend long. Just opt in for each of DraftKings game of the week and you'll score a single use profit boost token for the game. Whether you're betting on your go to team or an underdog, Saturdays are yours to own with DraftKings sportsbook. Download the DraftKings sportsbook app and use code TAKE. That's code TAKE for all customers to a special profit boost on the college game of the week in partnership with DraftKings Sportsbook. The crown is yours.

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See terms@sportsbook.draftkings.com promos I'll start I'm going to go Toledo +10. Going to Kentucky. Kentucky has Zach Calzada. Also Kentucky has Mark Stoops who keeps saying how motivated he is this year. So he's never been more motivated. Motivated. Mark Stoops is what they're calling him in Lexington. It's never good when you have to repeatedly tell everyone you're the most motivated. Essentially being like, I wasn't really doing shit last year.

Yeah. I don't. I find that hard to believe that he's the most motivated right now.

Most.

He's most motivated he's ever been.

That's impossible.

That's.

That just how. How long ago did he start coaching for Kentucky?

A long time.

Was that I want to say 12 years, 10 years. How long?

Been a long time looking it up right now.

But it's just by the the way.

The human body goes 2013, so about 12 years.

Yeah. You're getting older.

Yeah.

You were way more motivated. If you're at the same job and you've been there for 12 years, you were more motiv motivated six years ago.

Yeah.

For sure.

And yeah, you probably had a better team too. But yeah, the motivated shout out to all the Kentucky fans. Motivated Stoops. Hashtag motivated Stoops. He's motivated to win. I love I just this is also the best part about like college football being back. College football fan bases are back where they can get a sarcastic hashtag trending or motivated Stoop. So I'm taking Toledo +10. They went to they went to Mississippi State last year and won there. They ain't scared of the big bad sec. Hank, you have your fingers stuck in a certain way.

I will be taking Texas Horns up. You believe in Arch money line. I believe in Arch. Does it make Iowa State doesn't want Barstool. They don't want Dave. I don't want them. I want them to lose. I want them to lose handily.

Dave's rooting for Ohio State, though.

I don't care.

Oh.

Because the Big Ten, he's kind of patting them on their head. Yeah. I don't care. Are you a little nervous that everyone in the world feels like has been on Texas? No.

Sometimes the hype is real some. You know, a lot of the times it's.

Sometimes the public wins.

Yeah.

Especially early in the year.

Yeah, you're right. Pft.

I'm taking the under in Maine Liberty. Under 52 and a half.

Can't wait for that one.

Love that one.

That's a huge one.

I think there's gonna be a lot of stupid penalties. Main Liberty, false flag game.

I love that.

Yeah. Think about it. Thinking Memes gets it.

Memes definitely gets.

No, I don't like Maine's offense.

Yeah. We were rooting for no points.

Yep. I mean, have you watched Maine?

Have you.

Have you read any of the reports coming out of their camp?

It's ugly.

It doesn't look good.

It's ugly. I also am doing something on Saturday night that I'm going to hate myself for. I'm going to probably bet on lsu, and then when Brian Kelly does a red face press conference, it's Groundhogs day. Brian Kelly's going to blow this game. I'm going to bet on him. They're going to do a press conference after. He's going to be like, we just can't figure it out, all this stuff. And then on Tuesday's show, we'll roast Brian Kelly and be like, I wish anyone else but Brian Kelly coached lsu.

I actually think this is going to be different.

I'm betting on him. So I know I'm walking there for.

I'm full. I'm well aware of what LSU does in week one, and I'm doing it again, and they're going to win this time.

Yeah. And I like Garrett Nussmeier and Kate Clubnik might have gotten in a car accident, which we'll get to with Brandon and Tom in a minute. All right. Anything else before we get to our Mount Rushmore and then Brandon and Tom.

Any.

Any other.

There's a. A tennis beef going on right now. Oh, I feel like we should address it a little bit. So I'm. I don't know who these two players are, but they played yesterday at the US Open.

Wait, can I guess a name?

You. You're not going to guess the name.

I'm just going to guess as many test names.

Okay.

Alcaraz, no center.

You're not going to guess this.

Medved.

You're not going to guess this.

That's all the names.

Ostapenko.

Nope.

What does that name mean to you?

Nothing.

Well, she was upset because after the match she got into a verbal dispute with her opponent because her opponent didn't properly say I'm sorry after hitting a ball that hit the net and bounced over a let. No, like in the course of play, you know, serve. You know, like in tennis, if you hit the ball into the net and it bounces over and you score, you're supposed to be like, hey, I'm sorry for that.

I personally, of all the. And I've played a lot of tennis alive, I will never apologize for that.

Yeah. So she was very upset about that. She wrote two pages worth of Instagram stories about it. Just a small update about the match today. After the match, I told my opponent she was very disrespectful as she hit a netball in a very deciding moment and didn't say sorry. But her answer was that she doesn't have to say sorry at all.

Exactly.

There are some rules in tennis which most of the players follow and it was the first time ever that this happened to me on tour. If she plays in her homeland, it doesn't mean that she can behave and do whatever she wants. In the beginning of the match, all players are supposed to start warm up on the baseline. The opponent came out and straight away she started the warm up at then. Which is very disrespectful and against the rules of a tennis match. Thank you for attention to this matter.

I gotta say, I wasn't familiar with this rule. This is by far the dumbest, like unspoken rule of all time.

Yeah. Say I'm sorry for hitting a really good shot for scoring a point. Yeah. My bad.

Holy.

You're not sorry when you score that point.

No. You're like, you're so pumped.

You're pumped. You're like fooled you.

Gotcha. Actually, you should start trying to intentionally hit it in the net.

Yeah.

The top of the neck. Because the ball dies after. You're going to win all those net those points.

Yeah. So sorry, Ostapenko.

Oh, man, you are the softest person in the world if you have to post a note about this after.

Yeah, and she did like a look at the font that she.

Marty Fish, text us after when you hear this part. Did you ever apologize for this shit? I hope not. I hope you're a man about it.

Look at all that stuff.

That's weird font too. Yeah, yeah. No, I hate this person. I hate her. Hate her guts. Okay, let's get to our Mount Rushmore then a mega preview of college football. And then we have our guy CJ curse one one pick for the Water Dogs getting ahead of semifinals and we'll finish with Fire Fest. Okay, before we get to our Mount Rushmore game time, college football season is back, which means tailgates, cheering crowds and the excitement of being in the stands match before kickoff. We're all back to Ever find yourself at a tailgate and decide to grab tickets last minute? That's where game time comes in. The GameTime app gives the advantage back to fans. It's the hack for unlocking amazing tickets and experiences in a few taps. It's incredibly easy to use and the game time guarantee means you can Trust you'll get 100% authentic tickets on time and at the best price. Plus fees are always included. So what you see is what you pay. We're looking at tickets.

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Like your favorite grocery, liquor or convenience store. Or visit trulyhardceltzer.com and use the Truly Finder to grab it near you. Again, get unruly with truly unruly 8% hard seltzer. You can find it anywhere. Like your favorite grocery, liquor or convenience store or visit trulyhardselter.com and use the Truly finder to grab it near you. Okay, let's get to our Mount Rushmore. Okay, Mount Rushmore time. It's the final Mount Rushmore. It's a final Rushmore. All right. Final Rushmore. The regular season.

This is truly a must win for me and Hank.

Yes.

Not a Can't lose.

Here's.

Here's. Here's. Here's where we're at with the standings. Zach and I have clinched first place with 52 points. Max. Thank you. Thank you, Hank. That was nice of you. Max and memes are at 47 points. PFT and Hanker at 45 points. There's now only one way for there to be a duel. That is for PFT and Hank to win this Mount Rushmore for Zach and I to finish second, and 4Max and memes to finish third.

There is a path.

There's a path on. Go to the polls if.

If. If that. If that occurs, we will be in a duel, and we will do. Do the duel next week, most likely in Wednesday's show. So what's. I'm not. Listen, we're not trying to say anything, but it'd be great for a duel.

No. Not trying to influence the vote whatsoever, but a dual.

Last year was electric.

I love the duel.

Yeah. And it would be for people who missed the duel. Last year. It would. This year, it would be Zach and I coming up with Mount Rushmore topics that we then give to the boys, and they don't have any time to think or game plan. They got to go off the dome. So it'll be completely off the dome.

And we. We threw out the idea. I guess we can. We can confirm or deny it. I like the idea of doing between the two teams. A 1v1. 1v1, and then a 2.

Ryder Cup.

Yeah.

Yes. Yes.

Maybe even a scramble where we take the best answer that we give you.

You say the first word, Hank says the second word.

Alternate word.

Alternate word. An alternate word tool would be awesome. It would.

That would actually be great. That should be one of the formats.

Oh, man.

Okay, so for the final Mount Rushmore in the regular season, Max is via Zoom Memes. Do you have the ball in this one? Yeah, but Max. Max helped. Max helped. Okay, Eddie. All right.

You're.

You're.

You're.

Your mic sounds like. I don't know what's up with that, but that's fine. Who has the ball in your guys?

That's Hank.

Hank. Yeah. Hank has the ball.

Okay, Smith.

I'VE got so much confidence in Hank.

Okay, so Smith came one of the NBA.

I could be like Keegan Bradley. I could just pick myself and send myself out there. And I've wanted to do it my entire life. It's been my dream. But I got to go with Hank.

I think you should.

I think.

Okay. No, I said, Hank, you got the ball.

All right, well, we'll see.

All right, so you got to win.

We're going to do the.

By the way, I was. We never did the analytics, and I was thankful. I knew it in the back of my head, and I was just not trying to say it. I think if we looked at our stats for this Mount Rushmore season, the points per pft picking versus the points for mine is like, double.

So he Pity has been better than you.

Way better. Oh, I was waiting for someone to.

Bring it up, and you just brought it up, but.

Yeah, well, the season.

Been working on that story for an entire year.

But, like, I know that. I think. I think you should take the ball, but I will.

You know what, though? You know what, though, Hank, this is. This is leadership. Okay? I want you to do it. You know why? Because I believe in you.

Just so we're clear, though, Are you. Are you saying I'm sitting out? Like, Are you Scottie Pippen here? Are you.

No, this isn't Tony, Coach. This is. This is Keegan Bradley.

Okay.

This is like, I've wanted to do this. There's nothing in my life I've wanted to do more than do this Mount Rushmore, but I can't. And Hank is going to do it. I can't pick myself.

I don't know what Max is doing. He's very distracting. He's walking around.

I'm panicking. I'm panicking. Panicking.

Okay. Okay. It is the Mount Rushmore of worst favors to be asked of you, right?

Yep.

Worst favors to be asked. So worst favors to basically be asked in life. And Zach and I are first. You guys are second.

Yep.

And then Memes and Max are third. And coming around with the snake. All right, here we go. Worst favors to be asked are. 1. 1. In my mind, there's two really good picks at the top of this, but this is one that I really. I still hate to this day. And it gets asked a lot, picking someone up at the airport. Oh, and I know. I know this is a point of contention. It was a point of contention online, I think, like, maybe a few months ago, people were debating it. Obviously, if you live in a small city, it's not a big deal. If you live in a big city, getting asked to pick someone up from the airport is fucking torture.

It can be pain in the ass. Yeah.

We have Ubers for a reason. It's like, hey, instead of me having to commute from the airport in an Uber, why don't you give up two and a half hours of your day to go there and back?

It's a classic favor that you. You offer as an empty promise. And they say, no, I'll just take a cab.

I don't even offer anymore. And I don't even offer to take to the airport, too. When the trip's over, I'm just. I. I offer. The farthest I offer is, I'll take you to the L, you'll take me to the blue line.

You like Derek Jeter? Here's a gift basket.

Yeah.

If they first in Chicago. I mean, Chicago airport's brutal with the traffic. Highway construction.

Yeah.

New York is brutal, too. I don't even have a car. But if they land. If they land after like 9 o' clock and it's like, you know, it actually is 30 minutes there, 30 minutes back. That's the only way.

Yeah.

You know what?

And as a passenger, I kind of like having that ride to myself.

Yeah, you get you.

You like your thoughts.

You had shitty WI fi on the plane. Now you get to sit in an Uber, get to check up on everything.

Yeah.

Let your thoughts. Yeah, I agree. All right, that's our first pick.

All right, Hank, we are going to.

Go screw this up with helping you move. Asking to help you move.

Yep. That's classic. That's a good pick, Hank. Great pick.

Brutal favor to be asked.

And it's probably someone that you're close. Like, if you're going to ask someone to help you move, you're very close to them. So it's tough to say no because, like, you're close to them, but it's. There's nothing worse.

Yeah. Hey, do you want to work out all day and get really sweaty and then just after we're done working out, you can just sit in my house that doesn't have anything set up? That's basically what you're asking.

So.

Yeah.

Oh, hey, don't worry, dude. I'll get us a six pack of beer and pizza. Yeah, that's not just. Just. You're an adult.

If I was paying for this, I'd pay the people helping me like, 500 bucks. But. Oh, yeah, I'll get you some pizza.

Yeah. Yeah, right. If I, If I Actually, I owe you one. Yeah, it's. You're an adult. Go do the adult thing and hire movers if you have that much stuff to move.

Yeah. Hey, you want to help me move? And then we can eat pizza on the floor.

Because you know what it is about moving to. It's always more than you think.

Yep.

They look in your house and you say, oh, there's not that much stuff. There's so much in your apartment or house that just, like, when you actually, like, take it, like, you think about the plates and all that shit and, like, the closets, everything just. It's so much.

We only have, really, one flight of stairs, not counting the stairs that go up into the house. That's only, like, probably five or six stairs. We don't have anything heavy.

Yeah. Yeah. Right?

Yeah.

Don't worry. We can do this. It won't take, like, an hour or two. Okay, Memes and Max are up. Max is not here. He is here.

Great pick, Hank.

Memes, are you going to take Queen Latifah at any point? No, I still love her. Okay. Watch this Queen Latifah movie with me. Yeah, that movie. That's a bad favorite of me. Asked, asking for a loan or somebody asked, looking to borrow money. Yeah.

Okay.

And can you babysit for me? Can you watch my kids or dog? That's something that you and Max have been asked a lot. Wait, no, no. You can't do both, right?

I asked Memes one time.

Dog or babysit Isn't the same thing. Totally different. DFT references his dog as his kid. Kids. No, I have kids.

I have a kid Chris. Yeah. And then my dog Blake.

Yeah, but you can't watch some dogs.

Kind of fun. It's definitely kids.

Yeah. Kids. Okay, Kids. All right, Max. Way to clean it up for Memes there. Memes. You feel a little nervous that Max had to step in there? No, I think. I think both should be okay. All right, you guys are up.

Let's go. Hank, what do you think?

This is the draft? This is the. This is the. This is the season.

This is.

This is a huge pick.

You go. You got this.

No, Hank, you have the ball.

The ball. We're going to go with asking to stay at your place for an extended period of time.

Oh, okay. Great pick.

Good one.

Great pick. Can I crash with you?

Even now? Like, it's.

It's.

It's always when you're talking to your friends, you don't live in the same city. They're like, oh, yeah, I'll come stay with you, like, great. And then when it even, like, week of or leading up to you, like, I actually don't want to just have someone staying with me. If it's one, two days, no problem. If they're, like, coming for work or like, oh, yeah, I'll stay with you for the week, and then we'll hang out on the weekend. It's like, oh, yeah, they're coming for six days. Like, that's a lot.

Yeah, I'll be clean. I'll clean up after myself. They never do. One time I. I let somebody stay at my place in Austin because they were in town for a concert for, like, south by Southwest. Didn't really know the person that well. Like, an old, old high school friend came back to my house one time. They had people over. Yeah, they had, like, six people over at the house. Commanded the tv. I couldn't even watch my own tv.

It's.

And it's.

It. This is a. If you're, you know, college. Recently graduated college. Totally understand it. There was a. There was a phase in your life, and you're like, 23, 24. Like, I want my friends to stay. This is fun. We're just going to kick it all weekend. Once you become a little bit more of an adult, it's like, dude, can you just get a hotel? We'll both be happier. Like, we both will have a way better time where you have your space, I have my space. We hang out all weekend. Big time. Yeah, big time. Okay, Zach, I think we got to go with seven. What do you think?

Seven is good.

Okay. Oh, or what? Okay. Or 14. We really shouldn't overthink this.

What are your thoughts on 12?

But we'd like to finish second. 12. 12? No, I think that's a little niche, Zach.

Okay.

I think it's a little niche. We can maybe get to that in honorable mentions. Okay. But I think that's a little niche. Okay. You want me to just take the ball and go?

You got the ball here?

Yes, sir. How about when anyone asks for you to lie for them when they're like.

Hey, say I was.

Say I was here. Hey, don't tell. Just if you're. If your girlfriend or singing. Another ass. My girlfriend or singing other. Just say we were doing this. It's like, come on, man.

Kind of a different story when it's parents, though.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But this is more, like, light to appear.

Yeah, yeah.

Really good pick.

Come on. Like, why. Why are you putting me in this spot? I can't say no. But I also don't want to be like, now I have to lie to my significant other. So can you. Can you cut, like, live for me?

Cover for me?

Yeah. Cover for me?

Yeah.

Can you cover for me with a lie? That's our answer. All right, and then let's go with, this doesn't happen to us because we don't have these, But I think it happens to everyone who has it. Can I borrow your truck?

Yep.

I think every. Every truck owner probably has to deal with this if they have a pickup truck. You're basically a big billboard in your entire neighborhood being like, hey, if you need to go to Home Depot to get something, just ask me and I'll do it for you.

Yeah, well, I saw I used to have a truck, and that quickly turned into, can you also help me move with your truck? So it was like a double whammy for me. Yeah.

Yeah. So I think owning a truck that we're truck guys.

Yeah.

But just let's normalize. Not asking the people with the sweet, you know what? Go buy your own Chevy Silverado.

You know what, though? As. As a multi time truck owner, you kind of feel like a man when one of your friends is like, hey, can I borrow your sweet truck? Yeah. Oh, you don't have a truck, but.

You can't really like me. It's like most of these are favors where you really can't say no and you feel like you're a shithead.

Yeah. No one's. No one's really ever asked to borrow the El Camino, which is technically a truck.

You want me to do it sometime?

I mean, you don't want that?

I'll do it.

I actually, I. I live quite freely just parking it wherever I want, knowing that no one's going to be able to start it.

Yeah.

Like, if you get this thing turn on, good luck driving it away.

Yeah. But if you would like me to, I will ask at some point to borrow it. You can say no.

I'll say no. It is powerful.

But then it's been asked. You guys are up. Can I say Zach's a niche one. That was honorable mention.

Well, say it, because it's crazy for honorable mention.

Yeah. I just want to say it now because it's in the top of my.

Mind, but I'll say, just make a note.

Yeah, Hank.

I highlighted the one that I think would be a strong choice.

All right, we're gonna go. Similar thing. You can't feel. You really can't say no to this, but you never want to do it. Write a Letter of recommendation.

Yes. We had it.

Yep.

Dude. Especially when you just don't know the person. When someone asks, hey, can you write my kid a letter of recommendation? It's like, I. I've met your kid, like, twice.

Yeah, I just. I just lie the entire time and let her. Like, I say, just the nicest thing, no matter who asked me to do it, I've never said no to this favor. I pro. Never will. But, yeah, you just. You just write the most glowing endorsement that you can.

What? Little life hack. Because I've done it a few times and been asked a few times. I just say, yeah, you write it, I'll sign it.

Yeah, it's a good way to do it.

Just, like, do that. But still, you know that your. Your name is now vouching for someone.

Yeah. But nobody. There's never any blowback on the person that writes the letter of recommendation.

Yeah, right.

Like, if you actually. Let's say it's a hiring circumstance and you're asked to contact or send a letter to, like, this company, no one's ever gonna go back to you later and be like, yo, what the fuck? Why'd you write this letter? If they ask you to, like, vouch for a friend, that's when it's. That's when it becomes a problem.

Yep. Okay.

Good pick, Hank. Great job, Hank.

Thanks.

Our third pick.

Can you cover my shift? Okay, I'm currently doing that for Max right now. Oh, Max shithead. No, no, no. He, like, people have reasons, but, like, college football is on tonight. Want to watch college football?

By God, cover shift. You know, pulling a double, Stuff like that.

But, like, when you work in the restaurant industry, somebody's like, oh, you have the early shift.

Yeah, so I could go out at.

Night and get fucked up or something.

And your day just like your production.

But then you just do content, that type of thing.

Mm.

No call, no show. Mm.

One of those things. It's not.

It's not describing me.

Okay.

No, no.

Yeah.

That's general. Like, that's a relatable thing.

Yeah. All right. Can you be the designated driver?

Oh, okay. Yeah. I mean, Uber was like. Uber is 15 years ago. It's also one.

You can just say no.

You can also say yes and then drink your way out of it and be like, well, I can't do it. Yeah, sorry. Something happened. Something came up. I had to have eight beers.

I think the better pick there would have been, can you switch seats with me after you crash your car? Right. Like, that would be a terrible favor to be Asked.

Yeah.

No. Being the designated driver is bad. Okay.

It's bad. No, it's good.

It's good.

Really good. But it's a bad favor.

I think it's a great favor to ask somebody because you're being responsible.

Yeah.

And you're planning your night out. Yeah. That's. You're saving lives.

It's not a bad favor. It's a great favor. No, it's a bad favor to be asked.

No, no.

Because you're showing that you're like, take this seriously.

You're saving lives.

You just download the Uber.

You're before a first responder.

Okay.

We are going to go with one that seems simple but always kind of stresses you out a little bit. Can I borrow your charger?

Good pick. You're never getting that back.

Good pick.

And it's like someone you like. Like Big Cat. If I have to borrow a charger out, I can always tell. He's like, he wants to say no.

Yeah. You sometimes don't bring it back. That's a fact.

But that's everyone. When someone asked me, it's the same thing. It's like, I. I guess. But also no. You can't say no to it because that's a minor thing, but you want to.

Did either of you boys grab the charger from the cabin at Camp Barstool that I left?

Nope.

God damn it.

Can I say I had to do.

The thing where you buy a charger in the airport? So I bought one in the airport because I didn't have my one that I left in the cabin. Then I go to New Jersey. Then Rossini shows up to the concert. She's like, my phone's on empty. Can I borrow your charger? I'll give it back. I gave her my charger. She had a brick that was ready to plug into. She didn't even need my charger. Damn. She asked for it. Just walked off with it. Walked off with it.

Can I say that?

Memes, I agree with you about receiving Now.

A super. A super classy move that. I think this is just a level of wealth that just exists. But I stated, Dave, our boss's house in Saratoga, he just has a charger in every room. Like, the bedroom I stayed in already had a charger in it.

That's what I did.

It's like. So I. I was like, holy, this is incredible.

When I.

In every room I looked, there was.

A charger when I moved.

Yeah.

I mean, rich guy power moves would be a good, good marathon. But I also think he does the Thing where he just has wardrobes at all of his houses.

Yeah, he does.

So he doesn't pack.

Yeah.

Like, that's. That's a level of wealth.

Yeah.

When I moved to this new place, I put a new charger in each bedroom. The two, like, guest bedrooms. And then now those bedrooms don't have any chargers because I've borrowed those chargers from those rooms, and now they're gone.

Yeah, those are. That's brutal. Zach. Should we do the. I mean, this is. Do you like to. I like to. Because it is the worst favor you could ever be asked. But I don't know if any of us, hopefully, will ever be in this situation, but should we say it?

Hopefully not. But we would like to take.

Hide this gun. Yeah. Yeah, Hide this gun. That's just. I. You don't want to be asked that.

We had. Borrow your gun on the list.

Our gun's also bad, but hide a dead body.

Yeah, we had.

Hide the body. Yeah, hide that body is. I feel like you can. You can be like, no, I'm gonna call the cops. Hide, like, hide this gun. You're like, I don't know what this is about, but I feel like that's the same thing. No.

Yeah.

PFT says hiding the body. If body's worse than gun, dude body. Are we talking the same thing right now, people?

It's the same thing. PFD says hide a body.

What do you do? Okay, I.

What do you do, Max?

You wouldn't hide a gun to your head?

No. Loki. I've hidden a gun before. This is a crazy story. I don't even know if I've explained.

This is a Look at Max's face.

My mom is gonna be shook right now. So when I was in. In film school, I lived in Waltham. I lived in, like, a. I had a. I had a room inside of a house. And, like, I had a bathroom. So it was like a one bedroom, little kitchen, and a bathroom. So I was secluded. I could just go in this room and be separate from the people in this house. And when me. My mom looked at it, she, like, I guess looked up the.

The.

The history or if there was, like, people that lived there with crimes signed moved in. And then she realized after we moved in, like, she typed in the wrong number of the house. And, like, there was a guy that lived there. It was all just public drunkenness. Like, he kind. He kind of like a homeless guy, but he was. He lived in the house. And, like, I would walk in sometimes. I was like, oh, what's that smell. That smells weird. It was crack. Like, I literally was like, I. That's what crack smells like. So I was living in more or less a crack house or like, in a house where some guy was smoking crack.

Crack house. Yeah.

Then, like, halfway through, another guy moved in next door, straight out of jail. We were boys, good dude. We would hang out, drink beer sometimes, whatever. One day I'm in my room and, like, he would, you know, he would just come over, we'd hang out. No big deal. One day, the. A bunch of cops show up at our house, and the guy that lived next door that just got out of jail comes running into my room and was like, I need to hide this in your room. What the. I was like, are they coming for you? He's like, no, I don't know what's going on. The cops were just coming for the other guy. So it wasn't like. It wasn't a thing where they were looking for the gun.

It wasn't a murder weapon. It was just.

He was just like. He's like, I'm not going back to jail. I gotta, like, I don't know why these guys are here, but, like, I gotta. I gotta put this in here.

But we don't know that it wasn't.

Used in a murder, correct?

No, we don't. We do not. But yeah, that was, that was. And like, we were, you know, we were. We were relatively friendly at the time. I was like, yeah, nope. I guess, like, I just, I, I. I accepted it. I had the gun.

And then you gave it back?

I never touched it.

He just. He, like, came in, kind of hit it in my place, went back, the cops came, took the other guy out. So once, once they saw they were coming for the other guy, and it was just like, for like a public, Public drunkenness or something. Guy was a good guy, Jimmy. It was. It wasn't a big deal, but, yeah, it was. It was quite a house, quite a living situation.

Kind of a power move. So that from that point on, you know that he has a gun.

Oh, I knew he had a gun. Yeah, he was. He would, he would. He would just come over and tell me jail stories. And, like, he really romanticized jail. Like, one time, he was like, I'll never forget it. He was like, telling funny stories. He's like, yeah. He's like, I'm not gonna lie. Like, I kind of had boys in jail.

Yeah.

He's like, jail's kind of fun. He's like, all the. We'd all come together, mess with the Guards. Like, if everyone. You know, different days, different guys would mess with the guards. I was like, this sounds fun.

It's kind of like high school.

He's like, I'm not gonna lie. He's like, I had boys in jail, and I. I was dying laughing. I was like, yeah.

So Hank hit a gun. Yeah. And apparently this makes this actually of somewhat relatable favor.

Yeah.

And I was too much of a.

To be like, no. And, like, if I said, no, what was it? What was. What was gonna happen? I was just like, yeah.

None of us have been asked to hide a dead body. Zach. I'm gonna double check with you.

No, sir.

No. No dead body. Everyone asked to hide a gun.

No gun.

Okay.

Are you sure?

Yes. Okay. All right. That was a good Mount Rushmore we have. You want to hear Zach's honorable mention? Tell me what you guys think. If we had taken this with. I think you did he say he wanted it for the second pick. Our second pick.

Second pick.

Help. Mulch.

Okay. Mulch is here.

Helping somebody mulch. In the heat of summer. It's 103 degrees outside. It's like, grab the snow shovels, get the trailer. We're going to moat. Like, we're going to the surplus spot. Let's go dump this mulch. And they never have one of the trailers that dump. It's always shovel work.

I just think that's a good.

You got to help them, because that's a good pick.

You get very dirty when you work with mulch. Yes. Everywhere. And it's in.

It's kind of the same vein of like. It's just like, we'll. We'll grab a beer after this.

But it was eight hours of mulching.

Most yard work is a terrible favor, like doing the hedges.

You guys ever do the hedges? Yeah. Yes. That's, like, a chore.

Yeah. Shoulders.

Brutal.

Yeah.

We had. Let me get a hit of your vape.

Yeah.

Bad favor.

Can you get the drugs?

Yeah.

That's just always like, an annoying thing where it's like, dude, you're just being a pussy.

Yeah. Will you go on my podcast?

Yeah. Yeah. What about. Oh, I. This is Zach's one that I liked when anyone asked for the WI Fi password. It's super long.

Yep. That's. That's a really good one.

Yeah. Also, just. I didn't. We didn't know how to phrase this, because it's kind of like a feel thing, but just being asked to get anything for someone the minute you sit down.

Yeah.

Can you grab my. Can you grab me a water. Can you do this, like, right after you sat down?

Right after you get comfortable.

Yeah. Switch seats on a plane.

Mm.

That's annoying.

Especially if it's a downgrade.

Yep.

You go to the middle seat when someone asks you if you can be a wingman on a date.

Yeah.

With somebody that you really don't like.

Yep.

No interest in.

Yeah.

Can you get me a job?

Yeah.

Barstool.

Yeah. Yeah.

Can you save me a seat at a crowded bar?

Yes.

Where you have to be like, sorry, somebody's. They're not here yet, but they're going to be here.

Can you hold my place in line as well?

Yeah. That's a bad one.

That's. Can you watch my stuff at an airport? I know it's like a. That's not a bad favor, but I also, like. So I'm not talking about if we were in the airport together because we, you know, are sitting and we're traveling together, but like that moment when I don't know if it's ever happened to you, but like, you're sitting across from a stranger and maybe it's more like coffee shop. And they're like, hey, can you watch my laptop while I go to the bathroom?

Yep.

Asking a. Borrow a laptop too. Sucks because it's like your sh. It's like, not really.

Yeah. Mm.

All your shit's on there.

Yeah. But the. The one I'm talking about is like, if you play it out in your head, if someone came and took a total strangers laptop that you've been asked to watch, I would not step in.

No.

I would not say anything.

No. I would wait for the person to get back. Be like, yeah, some guy took it.

Yeah.

Yeah. It's like, I'm not.

I can describe.

Defending your laptop, dude.

Oh, should have. Can I. Can we. Can you. Do you mind switching seats with me on a plane? That's what I just said. Oh, yeah, sorry. I was looking for my roommate picture.

No, that's okay.

Will you be godparents?

Oh, it's like, I like that one.

It feels good.

It's an honor.

It's an honor. But also like, hey, it could be a big responsibility.

Yeah. I have a very specific one. My kids are in a certain age where they're obviously two out of three of them are out of diapers, but we're. It's a process. But can you wipe my butt? It's not fun. They get acid, I don't know, two, three times a day.

One time I asked Grant Hill if he could Wipe my butt. He's my preschool teacher.

Yeah. Yeah.

All right, what about when. When Johnny Sacks ask you to sack Little Carmines like, Little helper cousin, and it's during his wedding when you should be asking him for a favor?

That's a good one. Yeah, that's a good one. Also, this is probably specific to us when people ask us, like, for tickets, and we're like, we don't have. We don't have, like, hookups.

Yeah.

It's like, we. We actually do buy most of our tickets. I don't know, you guys.

There's somebody that. That will always ask me for San Francisco 49ers tickets when they're traveling to San Francisco. Yeah, but they're like. And if you can make it, that'd be awesome.

Yeah, it's like, I don't.

I don't live in California.

And like, yeah, we interviewed Kyle Shanahan, but I. I don't have his phone number.

Yeah, let me hit up Kyle real quick.

Yeah, let me just text him and see if he can get you tickets. All right. I think that was a really good Mount Rushmore.

So what if, like, when a country asks you if you can sell them, like, billions of dollars in weapons to fund their war, and you have to act like, oh, I'm not part of it, but here's all. Yeah, here's all my ammunition. Yeah, that's a bad favor.

That's a bad favor for sure. Okay, so we'll see what happens. A duel will happen if PFT and Hank finish first, Zach and I finished second, and Maxim means finished third.

Not that we're influencing the vote.

Nope. We're just laying it out for the awls. And I would love a duel. I'll just say it.

What does Kornacki say about this? Max? I got big. I don't know. I got big hat and Zach.

Yeah, I don't feel good about it.

Whatever recommendation.

How many. How many of those you write?

That was us.

Yeah, I know, but I think that'll drop you down to two.

Oh, you're a hater. Yeah, this is this big hat, and that's was really good.

That was.

They borrow your truck is just a alternate of moving.

Yeah, we're in trouble.

We'll see.

We'll see.

Well, I hope. I hope we're good enough to get second. That'd be nice. All right, let's get to our interviews.

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No refunds. And now, here is Brandon and Tom.

Okay, it's time. Our mega college football preview with our two very special guests. It is Tom Fornelli, our good friend and Brandon Walker, reigning college football expert on the Pardon My Take podcast. Not our good friend, but he is the reigning college football expert on the Pardon My Take podcast. Brandon, you've been bitching and moaning about not getting anything for beating Tom in the pickoff last year. So here is your thing. The floor is yours first.

We sat here last year on this couch. You had a competition. I was. You told me. You promised me last year. You can be on pmt. You're gonna be our expert. I walked in, you had this guy sitting there as a surprise.

Yep.

Haha. Funny.

Yay.

Everybody got to laugh. Anyway, we had a competition on that show. I won it handily. I mean, handily. And we haven't mentioned it for 365 days until this moment right now.

So is it like by two points? Handily?

Yeah, no, it wasn't that.

It was handling.

He is correct. That we haven't mentioned.

Right.

Do you think people wanted us to mention it?

I thought that's what the competition was for, that I actually won something. And I just introduced you. Yeah, but I thought I would be referred to on PMT multiple times as that, not just the next time we did it.

We did talk about the experts being trivia champions, right?

We did.

Yeah.

Yeah. And I carried us to that.

No.

And I.

And I. I'll be honest with you. The pomp and circumstance, the parade, all that stuff that is kept for when Tom wins this.

Right. I feel like. I feel like this whole thing was just a sham to hold over my head just in case I lost.

We didn't expect you to win it the first year.

So waiting for you to thank me. I'm the one who got you on the show to begin with.

I don't think that's a good point.

I was the one who contacted Dan and said we should have Brandon on.

Yeah.

That just can't be what happened.

That is.

Tom invited you on the show.

Yeah. He's like, hey, they've never invited you on the show. Yeah, yeah, we gave Tom a plus one.

Tom, do you have any questions for your guest?

Do you put out on the second date?

I won the first date. I won.

No, I won the first date.

I won.

No, I think Tom was the better guest.

I don't think so.

I mean, I did a hell of.

A job that day.

I have seen, like, upwards of five tweets asking for Brandon to be back on the show.

Yeah, that's true.

Well, I think they assume. They assume I'm going to be. I was the reigning PMT college football expert.

Yeah.

I think I was here on bowl season, but it was bright.

Okay.

Okay.

Yeah. I mean, I don't really have.

Mississippi's only appearance in bowl season was Brandon.

We're going to be better this year, brother.

Better how better?

Better. Better in football.

How many?

Not. Not that many. Schedule is.

You have to go to your second hand to count how better. How much better.

I'll just use the one for now.

Yeah, But.

But I think we're getting further along that hand.

I like that.

You check that to make sure. Do I have six fingers?

No, we're getting further along that hand.

O. All right, so let's get into it. Let's just start where you guys want to start. You want to start sec. You know what? You get to decide where you want to start, Brandon, because you are the reigning college football expert on. Pardon my take.

I want to start with a take that I have put out there, and everybody seems to be allergic to that. When you pick a Texas to win the national title, everybody's fine. When you pick an Ohio State to win the national title, everybody's fine. I picked Penn State to win the national title, and all I have gotten is James Franklin can never win it. They'll never do it. They're just a joke. They'll lose to Ohio State like they always do. I think it's the most complete team. I think the quarterback is fantastic. And I think it doesn't matter that the coach has never broken through it. Never. It only matters if he can do it. I believe he can do it. And what do you think about that?

I do not give a fuck about James Franklin's record in games against top five teams. I don't think that matters at all.

Can't win the big one, though. Though. Let's just.

He hasn't won the big.

But you know who hadn't won the big one? Ryan Day hadn't proven he could win a national title.

Tommy Fleetwood. Yeah.

Kirby Smart hadn't proven he could win the big one. He couldn't beat Alabama forever. Dabos Sweeney had never proven it until he proved it. You never break through until you break through. I think they can do it.

Penn State's not Georgia, though.

Penn State's pretty loaded.

And they're not.

But they're pretty loaded.

Does Penn State have the dudes that Georgia has?

Not the dudes that they had on the 2021, 2022 national?

Yeah, we're doing a dude off, but.

I think they have as many dudes as anybody has this year.

Let me ask you a question about Penn State. Yeah. And either of you can answer it. I believe in Penn State. I think they'd be very good. Allers a good quarterback. I like that he came back. Oh, Tom. Maybe not.

Just look at Drew Eller's stats against good teams.

Yeah.

All right.

If you still think he's a good team.

But that's exactly what you just said about James Franklin.

But hold on.

Will Franklin's not playing. The player is who matters.

So it doesn't matter against good teams when it's a coach. But it does.

Yes. Yes.

Okay.

When Penn State needs a big play, will they be doing a bubble screen to a wide receiver?

So last year.

That's my only question about Penn State. Yeah.

Last year they had two great running backs and a great tight end. They threw the tight end often. The receivers were garbage. And the receivers being garbage, showed up the most when they were playing elite secondaries like Ohio State, Notre Dame.

You need a dude.

You need a dude. They didn't have any. They went out and got dudes at receiver. They got Pena from Syracuse. They got Kyron Hudson. Kyron Hudson from usc. That is a dude and a half. And I think that's going to make the biggest difference this year. He actually has. This is the first Time in his career, four years that he's had dude receivers to throw.

Okay, if Penn State wins the national title this year, I don't think it's a tremendous upset. What I think is completely overlooked is you talked about all the guys they have coming back and I think that in this year where there's a lot of teams that we don't really have a lot of, you know, new quarterbacks, new offensive and defensive linemen, all that shit going on, we're kind of overrating the returning experience. And the thing I would point out is, yeah, Penn State has a lot coming back, but you know what? They don't have their best player on their offense last year or their best player on their defense last year. So those are two significant pieces that they have to replace in Tyler Warren and Abdul Carter. That said they can win the Big Ten, their schedule is very easy. In fact, if they, if they aren't in the Big Ten championship, something went very fucking.

Yeah, their toughest game is going to Ohio State.

Yeah, I think they, I think their quarterback coming back for a fourth year and being a three year starter now is a big deal that can offset the loss of the tight end. And again, Hudson can, I think he can equal the receiving threat that, that Tyler Warren was.

Yeah, he could. I think that's, I don't think that's like likely.

And yeah, they lost their best defensive player. I also think they massively upgraded a defensive coordinator.

That is a very good point.

Yeah, so this is a huge upgrade. I definitely think they.

He can win the big one.

There are so many he did with Texas, with Ohio State, with Alabama, with Georgia, with all the other big teams. They're all, they're all replacing quarterbacks.

They're all.

Ohio State's replacing so much on defense. They all tick down a little bit. And that allows a Clemson and a Penn State to tick up. And really to me, Penn State's the national champ.

Okay, so since we started with Penn State, let's, let's stay in the Big Ten. Ohio State, they obviously, you know, Julian saying who's what, A redshirt freshman. But he also has an incredible receiving core and maybe the best player in all college football. And Jeremiah Smith, do you think that that receiving core makes it like, hey, he doesn't have to be incredible. He's going to have guys open because it's Ohio State and they'll be just fine?

I think to a degree, because I think of how Will Howard looked at Kansas State and then I think of how Will Howard looked At Ohio State looked a lot different when you have all those guys to throw to. But I also think that if you look at the way that they work, they are so talented on both sides of the ball that Julian saying to me is he's. My concern is he's not that big and if he's taking hits and he gets hurt, then you've got to go to Lincoln. Kyle, Sue. The good news is at least the competition seemed to be close all fall. Going in.

They weren't.

That could be bad news.

What's his backup quarterback?

I will say you hear like Lincoln Kineholes.

That is the most Ohio State quarterback name I've ever heard in my life.

But like you hear whispers like when these competitions are going on, it's like, well, it's a good competition because the backup's just playing well. Or it's a competition because the starter that we got that we want to win is not playing well. From what I've heard, Ohio State was because they were both playing well. So it was making the decision more difficult. And also Ryan Day is also kind of always a little ambiguous about his quarterback going in. But if I look at Ohio State, I still see the team that is going to be the most talented team on the field. Pretty much every Saturday they go out there.

Not as overwhelming a talent advantage as they had last year and they still managed to lose two games. And that was with a senior called load management.

That's what we.

That's not called.

That's what now that all you guys got your playoff expansion and losses don't matter anymore. Ryan Day literally pretty much said to us it was load management.

He didn't say it, but you don't load, man.

You don't load management.

No, they didn't lose Michigan because of it. But the way that they went about, the way they went about the regular season, they were taking, you know, they were, they were planning for the long.

No, he was giving Oregon and Michigan everything he had. His ego.

Yeah.

In Michigan we gave them everything they had that game.

Tell me about the. The quarterback coming out of high school. What were his stars like saying?

Yeah, five, five star Alabama number one quarterback. No, he's number one for like two weeks. Yeah, but Nick Saban wanted him. Is really what, what what people are going for. Okay.

I mean it does seem to me like I would rather have an average quarterback with the best wide receivers in college football than the other way, like have the best quarterback and then average wide receivers. Yes.

Like a great quarterback can elevate mediocre receivers, but, like, great receivers can also elevate a mediocre quarterback. So I think it goes both ways, and having Jeremiah Smith and then, you know, Carnell Tate is another very good receiver who rarely gets discussed because of Jeremiah Smith's existence. And last year they still had a Mechag Buka, but he is another number two for them who would probably be the number one at 90% of the teams in the country. So they're going to be stacked, they're going to be loaded, and they've added Max Clare at tight end, and he's coming for Purdue. And if you look at Ohio State over the recent years, even when they've been really good, they've had good tight ends, but they haven't had, like, a Tyler Warren kind of tight end. Max Claire is a Tyler Warren kind of tight end. So he's going to have free reign over the middle of the field because defenses are going to be worried about Smith and Tate on the outside. So I think he's going to have a huge season. And they're just going to be even more difficult to stop offensively this year than I think they were last year.

And last year worked out pretty well.

Who's going to win the game on Saturday?

I think Texas.

I think Ohio State.

So when we come into this game and you have, yes, best receivers in the country, there's no doubt about that. Offensive line took a lot of lumps last year because of injury. They'll be better running backs, just kind of reload there. Like, I'm fine with all that, but if I'm looking at Arch Manning taking over the Texas offense and some things they got to replace, and Ohio State having to replace the quarterback and everything, the surest unit out of all four units, to me, is the Texas defense. I feel like they're going to be ahead of everybody. They're bringing back the most. They all got star power. So we're talking about five stars across the board, but they bring back the most proven commodities. I think that unit will be ahead of the other three units and they win a close game on Saturday. It's throwing darts at a board.

It's at like, what, a two and a half points?

Yes.

Oh, it's down to one and a half, really. Okay, well, I got to get on my phone here in a minute, but just like you mentioned that, but I look at Texas and all the things we say about Ohio State as far as question marks, all the exact same questions we have about Texas, but the game's being played In Columbus. Now, I know you guys can't go, but a lot of Ohio State fans will be there. So it's just, it's, I think playing on the road for Arch Manning and I don't think the hype around him is solely based on his name, although I don't think that is, you know, helped him very much because Manning. But he's a very talented player. Like saying a five star quarterback coming out of high school, he hasn't been a full time starter yet. But you're going on the road and you're playing in a really difficult environment and it's the first fucking game of the year, so you aren't really in any kind of rhythm, so. So in a game that I expect to be close, I wouldn't be shocked if Texas gets off to a slow start and it's just too much of a hole for them to dig out.

Yeah.

Yeah. If we ever figure out why did Arch not go to Ole Miss?

Oh, probably because he's a good person.

Yeah, yeah.

Or I mean, Texas offered more money.

Yeah, yeah.

I just want to tee brand it up. That's what we do for recurring guests here.

All right.

Also, no, you know, I will, I will say, if you're Manning, it's not like you're in desperate need of money.

Yeah.

You know, you're doing pretty well. So if your concern is getting to the NFL and getting the kind of coaching and all that kind of stuff you want, you also want to sit for a while to learn and, you know, develop. Texas was a kind of a better choice for you in that aspect.

And also I, I think, like, just making your own legacy somewhere. It's kind of why Peyton went to Tennessee Park. You know, like not having to live in the shadow.

I think your own path kind of kind of goes in that family.

I get, I give Stark a lot of credit for what he did last year because everybody wanted Arch to play by the end of the year. There were some question marks with Quinn yours. It was like, okay, we know what he can do, but we don't think that he's the guy that's going to be able to take us out of the way. And I think he told Quinn, like, hey, yeah, we're getting Arch in, just so you know your job is safe. I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna screw that around. I'm not gonna sell you a bill of goods and then bench you once once things start to go bad. I like what he did. Showing the rest of the team like, hey, I Will keep my word to you guys, even if it's kind of to the detriment of the team.

Well, Arch also started two games, right? He started a couple games and then he came in. I think he came in a couple games down the stretch. Like he was probably solid, but it was clear he wasn't ready to be the guy. And Quinn, you had the fourth year senior, whatever he was, I think it was easier to Sark to go back to him than maybe we thought it was.

Yeah.

You were still operating with a somewhat limited playbook with Arch last year than you were. Because like you would see when Arch did come in for those two games, it was a very, very kind of just five or six plays.

Way more running.

Yeah.

And there's a lot more running in it. But as far as the passing game, they were much more limited in what they were doing just because Arch wasn't really ready for it.

I don't like how fast Arch Manning is.

Manning for a white guy, it's kind of off.

Manning should not be that fast.

No, but have you seen his Manning face?

Yeah.

Is it good?

Pretty good.

It's pretty good.

We got it. We got a new crop. All right, so sticking the Big Ten, Oregon, number three. Although I don't know about Dante Moore, we haven't seen him since two years ago and it was not good.

I think this is the team that people are just assuming is going to be top 10 because of their recruiting profile over multiple years. But they're, they're, they're kind of starting over. There's a lot of new guys here, I think, and the schedule is sneaky tough. That last game at Washington, like, I think Oregon, you can fuck around and look up and they're like 9 and 3 or 8 and 4 and not. Wouldn't be shocked.

I have Oregon as the third best team in the Big Ten, but I feel like it's more about questions about who the fourth best team is.

Yeah, like I give us the, give us Illinois in the conversation.

Illinois is in the conversation. Indiana's in the conversation. Michigan, USC, Iowa, Nebraska, like the Washington. There's like 15 different teams in that league who could be the fourth best team this year, I think. But with Oregon, I also feel like we're at a situation where we know Drew Aller is going to be the quarterback of Penn State. Julian Saying will be the quarterback at Ohio State, and Dante Moore is the starter, but there's a kid behind him in Austin Novasad who, who Oregon really likes. Who we've seen Dante Moore play. He started at UCLA as a freshman, wasn't. You know, he was a freshman. He looked like sometimes he looked okay at others. But if he's shaky to start, I wouldn't be shocked if by the time that Ohio or the Penn State game rolls around that Nova said is the starter for them. So that's going to be an interesting situation to watch. And I also think Oregon's going to be kind of flipped on its head in that you mentioned. Like Lanning's been there, they've recruited very well since he showed up and this is going to be the year where those kids finally start really having the major impact.

Whereas the last few years they've been reliant on transfers and like 24 year olds they don't have that anymore. I think you're going to see a very defensive team that is probably going to be running the ball a lot more. It's going to be like, you know, complimentary football but with five star talent.

All right, so you mentioned a few teams there. Illinois, Washington, usc, Michigan, Indiana, Nebraska. Of that group, who are you guys highest on? Maybe give us your two teams that you're highest on of that group because there is kind of a. So the Big Ten has some good density to it this year.

So I heft I released my playoff 12 and I got Nebraska in it. I think Nebraska is this year's Indiana in the fact that they will be better as a football team than they have been and their schedule is fantastic. I think catching Michigan at home in September if they come out of September four and oh like no she own.

More in that game either I think.

Not that that makes a big deal. I think the Nebraska is the team quarterback has to take a big step but he's going from his first year to his second year. You kind of assume that has to happen for a five star. Anyway, I like Nebraska, I like the roster and his third year Matt Rule. Everything to me adds up. Like look they got neutral side against.

Cincinnati and they go at Penn State is their toughest.

Yeah, yeah but that's late. That's very late in the season. You can build up a 7 and 08. No start here. No problem.

Can I throw out something that I. I didn't. Did you see Dylan Rayola's quote the other day?

I Is it about Patrick Mahomes?

Yeah, yeah.

He said I can't get mad at God for making me look like him. But but doesn't got it.

It's a pure question.

He literally just he dresses like him, he acts does everything.

He was born that way.

Yeah.

That's a red flag quote.

Yeah.

I mean, does it bother anybody that the expert has to look at the screen? Oh, I'm working off the dome.

No, no, no, no, no. No time. I told you what the schedule was time out. Then I leaned. No, I don't need time out yet. I just leaned up to affirm. What? Because I couldn't remember. It was Houston Christian.

Hey, you know what? Shout out to the guys in the booth for helping you out. That's very nice.

All right. Who's Nebraska's fifth game?

Nebraska's fifth game. That would be Iowa.

No, no, no, that's their last game.

I don't know their schedule.

All right, so who of that group do you like, Tom?

I do like Nebraska because you mentioned Matt Rule third year. Like, he was 7 and 6 at Temple, won 10 games the next year he was 76 at Baylor, won 11 games the third year and he went to 7 and 6 last year with Nebraska. So history suggests we're going to see a leap forward. Whether it'll be enough, I don't know. But the schedule works in the favor. They have the five star quarterback, the defense, we'll see. It could be Nebraska overs. Might be a thing we're leaning into all season long.

I like that.

I like Illinois. I think their floor is good. I don't know if the ceiling is quite as high as what we saw last year because they do lose their top two receivers and that's difficult to replace for anybody. But for Illinois, a program that has not exactly been wide receiver, you over the years, like, like there's, there's nobody that's truly emerged as the alpha. And I think you have to have an alpha before you can be overly confident. But having a third year starter and Luke Altmeyer is good, having your entire offensive line back is good. And their defensive line will be one of the better units in the Big Ten again. So there's a high floor. But there are also tough road games for them at Indiana, at Duke. We'll see how it goes.

Let me throw something at you real quick. Throw it on Illinois. Altmeyer to me is a good, solid quarterback, but not the type of quarterback who is going to drag a mediocre receiving core to greatness like you described earlier. Like, I think he's, he's a solid guy, but I don't see there's. The ceiling isn't that high for him individually. Would you agree with that?

I think he could play his way into like a late round NFL draft pick.

Yeah, like a fourth, fifth, sixth.

Like. Yeah, somewhere in the back end.

But it's also beel him a ball. Yeah, but he doesn't have to be.

But that's last year was they.

They were not a running team last year.

They threw it all over the place last year. This year we could see them lean more into the run game if a receiver doesn't emerge. But we're also going to see him in more 12 personnel because they've got a tight end. The two. They've got more tight ends.

Well, you can't play 12 guys. It's only 11 allowed to play.

It's very funny.

Thanks.

Expert over here.

Who's gonna be this.

How do I. How am I supposed to feel about Signetti this year? Because I'm going in this year.

He's an.

Well, I. I had to be a defender of Signetti.

Why? Well, because he left you.

I know. I'll explain. I'll explain that my. You can, you can call me after this if you still think.

Okay.

But my theory is that I'm gonna be a stepping, stepping stone school no matter what at jmu. Right? Like coaches, if they get to the College Football Playoff, if they're winning the conference in the Sun Belt, they're going to get poached eventually by a big school, by big state school, and that's what happened. I might as well want to be the best stepping stone that there is. So you attract the next guy up, like Bob Chesney. Great coach, happy to get him. Him on board. But he took also a lot of JMU's players last year. So I also felt like I was rooting for JMU in a power conference. That was fun, but now that's like one year removed. I think I have to be like, fuck this guy. He's no longer Duke.

I think you should have done it last year because he took all your players. Yeah, they took your players and left you. You want to be the best stepping stone school that includes having your players around for the next guy. And he took all your players, went to Indiana, played the. Played a softer schedule than you guys played last year. And acts like he's Steve Spurrier. All of a sudden he's an asshole.

Well, he has to do that to get attention on Indiana. That like, that's what you have to do as a coach.

I don't know if this has ever happened to any of you guys, but fun story about Kurt Signetti. I was in Vegas last month and I'm taking a piss at the Stall. And all of a sudden, guy pulls up next to me, it's Kurt Signetti. I don't know if you guys have ever had like a celebrity piss next to you.

No. Did he. Was he able to pee?

No, I wasn't. He was, yeah. Strong flow.

Good. Very strong fire hose.

You know, Tom, that's where you and I met. It was in the bathroom at blogs. Was it blogs with balls? Yeah, I believe so. Yeah. I think I was taking a leak and you were taking a leak next to me. I said, hey, I'm PFT commenter. And you're like, holy, good to meet you.

Then we crossed swords and it's been friendship ever since.

Yeah, Iran's never done that.

Who of that group in the Big Ten is gonna to disappoint?

It could be Indiana.

Could be Illinois. Oh, it could be Illinois.

It couldn't be.

Yes, it could. And you know, you know it could.

To be fair, you know what disappointment looks like.

Oh, but I know what pure heartache looks like. You ain't been where I've been.

You're going to tell an Illinois football fan he hasn't been where you been?

Listen, we played in the bowl a couple years ago and I haven't even seen. I don't even know what a bowl smells like.

Who'd you beat in that bowl game?

We beat Illinois.

Exactly. So you're going to tell me I don't know what it's like to be on that.

You guys have been in bowls ever since. I can't even. My coach died.

You only get one more year for that.

At least I get the one.

Yeah.

So I just think with Indiana like we saw with Florida State last year, when you build your team through the portal like that, it's a lottery ticket. A lot of the times and last year they caught, you know, they caught lightning. It all worked out. The schedule was great. Every single transfer hit. They've got a lot of those guys back still. But you're going to back to the portal. You've got a brand new quarterback and you brought in a new offensive lineman we saw at Florida State. If it doesn't work and shit goes south, quick teams will check out. Like when you hire mercenaries. Mercenaries can only live to fight another day if they get the fuck off the field.

Yeah.

The only thing about that is I do think the profile of the transfer quarterback they got this year is even better than the one they got last year.

Yeah, but the one they got last year was very experienced. And Mendoza and he played a weak.

Schedule this Guy doesn't get to do that.

No. But Mendoza, Mandela Mendoza, I think right now is far more projection than actual production. I think people look at him, they see the size, they see the arm, and they kind of start drooling on what he can be in the NFL. I think at the college level, there's still some kinks that need to be ironed out of his game. That if you watched Cal closely last year, there were good moments, but there were also a lot of what the hell is he doing?

Moments.

And now that Indiana is going to be more in the spotlight, that could bite them.

Back to Nebraska. Real quick.

Quick.

Dylan Raiola. Just by. Just a pure vibe, gut reaction to having your leader dress up as another human.

I don't like.

I don't really like it.

No, I don't like it.

Tribute band. I could be fun to check out, but at least he's like Brandon last.

Year when he's doing Patrick Mahomes and not Taylor.

Don't say God made you that way. You're doing his celebrations, you're doing his warm ups.

When Desmond Watson cosplayed as you last year, how'd you feel about that?

That was good.

You're talking about the. The really, really fat guy.

The guy that didn't make the bucks.

Because he's so fat.

You also get upset about not making enough bucks.

You forget who he was the minute he went to the NFL.

No, I.

That would be an awesome bit if.

Like, I do sometimes.

You're like, who's that?

I do sometimes.

Not my problem.

He's £460.

Who's Ken Ward? All right, we'll go to SEC.

Can we? We've been talking about the damn Big Ten the whole time.

All right, let's start with the SEC. Talk me off of Alabama to win the national title. 10.

I have no problem doing this. I did it last year. Last year I sat on this couch and he.

Yeah, no, you're right. Jaylen Milro.

Jalen Milro. But this year, Alabama fans are going with the narrative. Yeah. Well, Caleb Deborah came here and he had to start Jaylen Milro or he was going to lose the team. And that's why we were so bad. Which took him to the playoff two years ago. Like he had. He had an ability as a college quarterback to do it. And for whatever reason, the coach doesn't fit Alabama. And to me, now they're turning to a guy who has been there for four years and multiple coordinators and multiple head coaches have never believed in this guy. Never Once have multiple coaches and multiple coordinators looked at Ty Simpson and said, that's our guy. And now all of a sudden by default, he's the last one standing and we're supposed to say, oh wow, everything that went wrong last year when they got boat raced by a bad Oklahoma, they got beat by a mediocre Vanderbilt and they should have lost to South Carolina. Like everything that went wrong last year is fixed because this new quarterback that nobody's ever believed in counterpoint not happening.

Ryan Grubb.

Ryan Grubb does make me feel what.

If he is the. What if he is the Kalyn Debo?

What if he is the secret recipe?

Yeah, he's the recipe because he's followed Caleb DeBoer everywhere. He's gone. He obviously wasn't there last year. Now he's back with him. What if he's the offensive coordinator that.

We discussed it earlier when we were talking the Big Ten. What can really great wide receivers do to an average quarterback? They can lift him up, right? What does Ty Simpson have a really, really good. He has great receivers around him. It's not like Jeremiah Smith grabbed all the attention. But Ryan Williams is, is pretty good too. So he's only 17 years old, got plenty of weapons around him. He's going to have a very strong offensive line. And it's not like I, I know that Nick Saban changed the format towards the end where it started becoming. I've got NFL quarterbacks now, so good luck. But they won plenty of national titles at Alabama just with a game manager quarterback. I don't think Ty Simpson needs to be anything spectacular. He doesn't need to be first team.

All se Nick Saban ain't there in him.

Their defense is first round.

Saban ain't there anymore.

He just has to distribute the ball. And Kaylin DeBoer and Ryan Grub are very good at putting together an offense that teaches their quarterback how to distrib the ball. So he's going to be able to get it out and he's going to let his receivers do all the work. They got good running backs, they've got a good offensive line. Defensively, they're still going to be really, really good. I've got them reaching the SEC title game. I don't know if they can win the national title, but I don't know. Like, there are so many questions about everybody that I feel like they're eight or 10 different teams. You can make a logistical logical argument for winning a national and that's kind.

Of how I Did it because it was. They were 10 to 1 where it's like Ohio State 6 to 1.

Like why would you want to bet the favorites when they're so.

I'm fair with that. I do think there's probably eight, nine, ten teams going to win it. And even in the sec probably four or five, six teams that can win the sec. Like I'm good with that. But to me there were just so many bad signs in that first year. Caleb Deborah goes to a national title game with Washington, switches to a roster that is loaded. They were loaded last year. I know they're loaded this year but they were loaded last year. They were loaded last year.

But Jalen Milroe couldn't make the throw.

He didn't have Ryan Grubb.

They were loaded last year. And Caleb DeBoer figured out a way to lose to Vanderbilt. I don't care. Anything going on in Alabama. You can't. You just can't let an Alabama roster lose to a Vanderbilt roster.

Vanderbilt had the better quarterback.

You can't do it. You can't lose to that roster. No, no, I'm not.

I'm not making excuse for it. I'm just saying they had the better quarterback.

You can't go to Norman, Oklahoma and get beat by a mediocre team 24 to 3. Like there's something. There's a disconnect. It. It takes a different kind of human to win in the sec. I'm not saying a better coach or whatever. It takes a different kind of human. And I don't think Caleb fits Alabama.

Ryan Grubb is the connector.

Maybe he. Have we succeed. We haven't seen him succeed in the sec.

I'm just betting on Ryan.

You got to be a borderline criminal.

When you say you can't go to Alabama and lose to vending. They did. They did that last year and.

Right.

He's still the coach this year. I feel like there's going to be a lot more pre. Like you can't.

He's nine to three this year. His ass on hot seat.

You can't do that this year. You get one year to figure out the essence.

Agreed. For sure.

But I also think part of it too. Just like you look at the kids on the roster. They've gone from Saban to deboer who are two very different kind of personalities. I think kids were just trying to figure out what they can get away with last year and maybe like DeBoer.

Wasn'T stepdad if they were doing year.

One, what's going to stop substitute teacher energy.

Yeah, but.

Well, it's the second year he's still around.

But if he couldn't lead them in year one, if they were trying to get away, if he had to go with the quarterback he didn't like because he didn't want to lose the team, what kind of leader is that? Well, what kind of leader is that?

James Franklin's past performances don't matter. When you pick Penn State winning a national title, but one bad season for Caleb or who's had nothing but everywhere.

There'S no way he can lead a team.

He was only in the national title.

Game two years ago. You're in the corner. Hold on.

It's a fair point. It's a fair point. But Caleb DeBoer has never proven it in the SEC at all. James Franklin's proven it in multiple conferences. He's already won the Big Ten once. Right. He won 2016.

Yeah.

Like he has proven he can get to this level. He just can't open the door. Kaylin DeBoer going to the SEC, the SEC is a different monster. I understand he did it at Washington. Alabama fan base and the Alabama pressure is different. And it fucks people up. And it fucked him up last year. I think it's going to fuck him up again now. He's built for the experience.

Now he knows what to expect.

He had no idea.

He's got Ryan Grub.

He's not built for this year. Grub.

Ryan Grubb is a human shield. He will protect him.

Ryan Grub.

Ryan Grub will turn off the radio when he's listening to it so he.

Doesn'T hear any of this. Calen debore ain't built for this. It is a nasty world war.

Is one of the best football coaches in the country.

That ain't what I said. He ain't built for Alabama. Alabama is a nightmare to coach at. Only somebody like Nick Saban could manage the expectations and the demands and all the bullshit you got to deal with. Nick Saban's the greatest coach of all time.

Agreed. We agree on that.

They're supposed to be sec.

They supposed to be.

I don't know. I don't know that Kaylan divorced sec, I don't think.

But is the SEC still the sec?

Yes. Still competing against Kirby Smart. You're still competing against these down there.

Change the cost.

You change the cost of doing business.

All right, Georgia. Gunner Stockton. We're going to talk about Heisman in at the end. But Gunner Stockton is something I've been.

Looking at I'm gonna. I'm gonna shift back here.

Okay?

I just. I can't. You know.

Why did you shift in the first place?

Because you shifted.

Yeah, yeah, but I'm gonna shift. I'm a shifter and people know that.

Do I. Do I buy the Gunner Stockton stock? No. Well, I'm looking for. Listen, you're talking to the guys who had 40 to one Travis Hunter last year.

Fair enough.

You. You look like an idiot.

I've never had more questions about Georgia under Kirby Smart than I have about them.

But Travis Hunter, I knew.

No, you won.

You tried to talk me out of Travis.

I did. I said he's not going to be able to stay healthy, but he did.

Yeah, he's 41. So. Gunner Stockton.

Are we saying Caleb is not built for the sec, but he will.

Is gutter Stockton capable of lead Georgia team or is it. Hey, he couldn't beat out Carson Beck and Carson Beck stunk last year.

I. I don't know. My biggest concern about Georgia, and it's not really a concern, it's just the question marks like we saw when, when they were winning the two national titles. They were the best team in the country by far. They were just able to rotate guys in and out along the lines of scrimmage because they were so fucking deep. But the one thing that the portal has done is a lot of the guys who used to be sitting on that second or third string of the depth chart have moved on to go start other places. So they don't have the same kind of depth that they've had. And now if you look at their offensive line, last year was not nearly up to your typical Georgia standard. And the best part of that line was the interior of it. The two guards in their center, those guys are gone. So you've got pretty much a brand new offensive line as far as experience is concerned. I mean, it's Georgia, so they're not going to suck there. But are they going to be elite? I don't know. And if you don't have an elite offensive line with Gunner Stockton behind it, I just don't think the margin for error for the Bulldogs is nearly as, you know, small as it was before.

I think that they could have problems, but when I say Georgia could have problems, I mean it could go 9 and 3.

Right.

I agree with all that. I don't.

I don't.

Not a big Georgia believer this year. And not only the offensive line is a good point, but Carson Beck wore it last year. But the receivers and running back average as Hell, and receivers were garbage.

Yeah, they had no receivers.

They were garbage. They led the country and dropped passes. Carson Beck was bad in his own right. He had some. Something was going on in his head or whatever. Now he's at Miami. I don't think Gunner Stockton is the answer to fix all of that in one off season. And I don't see an improved receiver room or running back room. To me, they're a solid 10 and 2, 9 and 3 team that can, that can mess up somebody else in the sec. But I don't see the national title contender I saw three years ago.

10 and 2 is. But if Georgia is 10 and 2, you're a playoff team. Also where you should keep your hands on the wheel. Do they teach that at Georgia?

No. You see, like Clemson suspended a guy for a game for dui.

I wasn't.

Kirby Smart was thinking when he saw that.

At what point does it become like an actual issue that the team has to like force the guys to go to preventative driver's ed classes?

I don't, I, I think there would have to be multiple like murders or something like that at some point. I don't. Kirby Smart's not going to do anything and George is not going to do anything to Kirby Smart. As long as he's winning, it doesn't matter. Crimes don't matter. If you're winning in the SEC, that's 100% true.

That's. That's America. Crimes don't matter as long as you're winning.

If you're winning in football, crimes do not matter.

Yeah.

What even is crime, let's ask ourselves.

Speaking of crime, is it criminal what Auburn did a couple weeks ago and just gave themselves like nine more national championships. My take that they. You can try to pull this bullshit, but you have to do it within like two years of, of when that national championship would have been so that people can get properly mad at you. You can't claim national championships from like, I don't know, 15 plus years ago.

It's bullshit what they did. But it is not fair to judge Auburn through a normal lens. They share a state with the most egregious violators of this of anybody. They live next door to Alabama who claims national titles where they finished number 20 in the AP Pole 1941, Alabama went eight and three finished number 20. They claim a national title. Alabama's got like six or seven of those. So if you're living with them, fuck it, just claim whatever. Now the 93 one when they're probation, that's Stupid.

Yeah, I. I don't like. I think it's funny when schools claim national titles. So I'm not going to, like, get on about it, but I do think there needs to be a statute of limitations where you're claiming a title from over a century ago.

Yeah.

Because a. Now a computer rating of that season ran box scores through a simulation and said, oh, this team's crazy.

Like, there were some that they did.

That's great. But it's also like, no, there were.

Some that they did when. When they lost to the eventual national champion. And they're like, yeah, we're going to claim that one, too.

So I. I think anything before, like 1950, I think every school should just claim at least three. Yeah, every school should claim. Because nobody knows.

Can we talk about Auburn real quick? Because, yeah, we are the other. No, I'm saying this current. Not. Not 100 years ago.

Auburn.

This current Auburn team. Yeah. Jackson Arnold is also someone I'm looking at for maybe a long shot. Heisman thoughts? I think their office is going to be good.

I.

And also here. All right, so let me get State my case. Cam Coleman's very good. Yes, yes. Okay.

Great receivers on that.

Okay. Jackson Arnold was in a bad situation last year against with Oklahoma.

Terrible situation.

And on top of all that, what is Auburn always proven to us is when you think they're down, some crazy year happens.

But it's been like.

So if you want to go.

I know, but if you want to go.

Chaos theory. I could see it. But here's the thing. I was a huge Jackson Arnold guy last year. He was somebody I was very high on, and I felt like Oklahoma threw him under the bus. He got blamed for a lot of the things that were wrong with that team, which were primarily all on a horrible offensive line. I have not heard anything good coming out of Auburn camp about Jackson Arnold.

Okay, so this is why we have our. Not expert, but insider. It's just like, now, wait a minute, he's our insider.

How did he get a title?

He just gave us.

They literally give me it.

He just gave us a nugget.

I'm curious how you don't hear anything good out of Auburn because those people never say anything bad about themselves.

Oh, I'm not talking to Auburn people.

I'm talking. You know, he's got inside people.

This is how you don't understand.

Even the. Oh, I understand.

No, it sounds to me like sources.

Do you want to have a source off?

When Brandon wants to report on a team, he just calls Somebody from the team and then he just parrots whatever they tell him.

He reads somebody on Twitter. Who's.

I read you.

That's. That's your.

That's Hank. That Hank does that.

Hank reads. Cites me. But I, I just, I, I've heard a lot of negative buzz coming out. And also Auburn, like, like their plan last year was to kind of load up the money cannon to go into the Portal this year to kind of do what Ole Miss did last year, make a run for it. Except the kind of talent that was in the Portal the last few years didn't show up in the Portal this year. So they kind of blew it on multiple quarterbacks. So, like, because they've got Ashton Daniels from Stanford and who's the other kid that they got?

Well, they got the Deuce Knight kid out of Mississippi.

Deuce Night they paid for out of high school. So, Jax, I, I don't know. You look at Hugh Freeze's history. I pair that with the kind of stuff I've heard coming out of camp. I don't know that Jackson Arnold, like, it could be a quarterback carousel there. It could be week to week. Hell, they've said he might play all three in the first. Yeah.

And all three coordinators.

And I think, like, I forgot about.

They have a play caller for first day on the second.

They have nine different combinations.

You guys were trying to do the permutations.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's not our strong suit.

No. But like, I, I just don't know if Jackson is going to be the guy there every week. It's going to be really hard to win the Heisman if you're being, if you're getting Steve Spurrier, like rotating quarterbacks.

Yeah.

I have two things about that.

Okay.

A, I think Hugh Freeze as a elite quarterback whisperer that he was at Ole Miss and then even at Liberty. I think it's dead. I think it's gone.

You want, you want to know what that was? People didn't know the offense yet.

Yeah.

It's a very simple. Yeah, it's not that complicated offense. But number two, let's, let's paint the picture that Jackson Arnold at Auburn is very good and you want him to be the Heisman Trophy winner. Can I, can I even come up with a world where he's better than Arch Manning at Texas or Lagway?

Listen, these are all long shots and.

Come up better with. Than Sellers at South Carolina. I'm taking him in the top three of the sec.

I know. I'm talking long shots. We're Looking for value. I, I'm probably not going to bet. I'm just throwing these out there. I. It's. It's just a thought.

I think a better long shot in the sec and I haven't looked at the Heisman odds as closely as I'm sure you have so far. I don't know what Lagway is at Florida.

Can they get to nine wins? Can Florida gets to nine wins? You got to get to nine wins to win the Heisman.

I'll give you a long shot. Quarterback in the sec. Austin Simmons at Ole Miss.

Ooh.

Just because Lane Kiffin.

He's right.

Lane Kiffin still is good at coaching quarterbacks and he also has an offense that is still very good at getting their quarterbacks to put up number. And if Ole Miss, like they missed out last year and it feels like they kind of missed their shot and so everybody's just kind of completely overlooked them. And I understand why, because I look at the team and it's not a perfect team. But I think that offensively they are dangerous enough that if Simmons kind of over performs what you would expect from somebody with his lack of experience at this point, like, that's a team that could surprise people. It could be in the playoff hunt like Miami was all season last year, where even if they come up short, Simmons might have an incredible season with the kind of numbers that allows him to. To, you know, end up getting in there.

Okay.

Yeah, I don't mind that. I mean, think he's talented. He looked good against Georgia in the drive he got in. Lane can obviously coach quarterbacks, but you're kind of poo poo and something that I think is a great point. They went nine and three last year with the best roster in school history.

Yeah.

And Jackson Dart put up numbers. What he finished in the Heisman, seventh, eighth, ninth. Like he wasn't in the top echelon of Heisman. If Jackson Dart, in his last year there with a peak roster didn't do it, I don't see Lane magically throwing quarterback dust on this guy. First of all, I don't think they're going 9 and 3 or I think they're going 9 and 3 at the very best. And I just don't. I think he's going to be good. I don't think he rises to Heisman level. Good.

Yeah, you need, you. You do need nine wins.

But he's a half shot, though. I think he's like 40 or 50 to 1.

Yeah, Austin Simmons is 40 to 1.

On the draft King sports book. Okay.

I didn't need to look that up, by the way. I just.

I do.

My. Mine is my actual Heisman pick, I think is. Is on that screen right now. Can you see it?

I can see the screen.

Yeah. There it is. Jeremiah Love.

That's mine.

Okay. 25 to 1. The narrative doesn't. You don't have to do a narrative when it's Notre Dame.

It's a Notre Dame running back who rushed for 17 touchdowns over a thousand yards last year while his quarterback vultured 17 touchdowns from him.

The question is, will he get the enough carries?

That's it.

I think if he gets enough carries, he's electric. And it's Notre Dame, and sports writers are going to. To go crazy.

So that's Max. You said that's not a 25.

Yes, 25.

That was 40. A week and a half.

Oh, Brandon. What about Mississippi State? Are people asking if Brandon.

Nobody's asking about Mississippi.

He just did this number one podcast in America. He just did.

My question, is Brandon Walker to blame for Mississippi State being dog these last few years? And here's why. Brandon, you're probably what, the top. You're probably in the top 10 in terms of richest Mississippi State alumni.

Why would you ask this?

Why aren't you giving enough money to the program?

I'm doing what I can. I got four kids, brother. I got. I got private school to pay for my wife.

He had to move my house.

Aaron signed.

He's buying old newspaper machines, but he's.

Like, I don't have any money to.

Give to Mississippi State. Oh, we can't get a linebacker.

I got a good deal on that 17th.

Greg Maddox memorabilia.

Is it like. Is it like the end of Schindler's List when you're looking around at. At your little chair and you're like, oh, this Ron Gant poster that could have been a linebacker.

Not familiar with the movie. I'll watch it later.

But I. I wouldn't expect that you would be.

I just. I listen. Our coach died. And is that a. Is that a thing that I say on Twitter and people smile at. Yeah, sure. He died at the wrong time. He died, like, right when the transfer portal and everything was happening and then we were called.

Ever a good time.

Never a good time for a coach to die.

I don't think so, but this was particularly bad. Are you seeing that link?

I mean, maybe if you're losing a game and he dies on the sideline and we have to come back and cancel the game.

Yeah, no, like the Transfer portal. And then everything Nil popped off and Leech had his own way of doing recruiting. He wasn't going to play that game anyway. So now we're two or three years behind. We're fighting back. The money's a lot better. Took in 29 transfers this year.

You just got a new contract.

We got. I just got a new contract.

There's money in your pocket.

I'm working on more Cowbell, the Nil podcast that I'm going to do with Jake Mangum of the Tampa Bay Race. Like, we're. We're fine. We're fine. Things are going in the right direction now. I don't even know if I. The Nil with the revenue sharing. I don't even know if the podcast needs that.

I fully support your. Our coach died excuse. But again, you got one more year.

One more year.

That should be the name of your podcast. Yeah.

All right. Top five teams in the sec.

I like LSU a lot.

You do?

I do.

Hot seat, though.

What about Brian Kelly being in that.

That goes back to the James Franklin thing. Right? So if I am going to believe James Franklin can bust through, I'm going to believe that Brian Kelly with the talent at lsu. Now, the defense has to come a long way, but the receiver group, the quarterback, I just think a lot is lining up for lsu. They are a peaks and valleys team. When they are good, they are national title good. And then they go away for a couple of years and they come back. I think this is a comeback year for them. Texas, obviously. And I don't really believe in Florida and I don't believe in South Carolina to the level of the P. I think South Carolina is the biggest fraud in the sec. So I would probably go chalk you.

In this game again.

No, I'd probably go chalk there with Alabama, Georgia, and then, I don't know, Ole Miss Price sneaks into that fifth spot.

I picked LSU to win the national title, so I'm with you on that.

I picked him to win the sec.

I picked. Yeah, I picked him to win the SEC too. And it's, it's kind of along with what you just said, like the way that they work. It's like when you don't expect them to be anything is when they're going to jump up and have a great year and they have a quarterback who might be a first round pick. They have excellent talented receiver. They got to replace damn near the entire offensive line, which could be a very big problem going up against Clemson in your very first game of the season. But I thought that defense last year was improving as the year went on under a new coordinator. You go into year two, you expect it to be better. As far as after lsu, I got Alabama second, Georgia third, Texas fourth and then fifth.

Yeah, I haven't thought about fifth.

I'm still going to go with Ole Miss because I'm with you. Like Florida. Every time you talk about Florida, everybody says, well, if DJ Lagway stays healthy. DJ Lagway has never been healthy, it feels like since he showed up and it's only been a year or so.

But he's not healthy now.

Yeah, he got hurt last year during the season. Then all off season, it's like he's not able to throw in camp and then he's able to throw in camp and you head into the summer, it's like. Well, now it's like a calf injury or something. And he's not. It's just until he shows the ability to stay on the field, which he could. But if he. When he does, he's very, very talented. I just need to see him stick it out before I'm going to buy into the Gators.

I have my fifth. I'm Missouri. I like Missouri.

Oh, okay.

I worry about their offense this year. I. You look at like, I think Eli is brilliant when it comes together to putting an offense and call, you know, just putting together a system and all that and gets the absolute most out of his guys. But they lost two guys in their offensive line, both tackles, and Mizzou just does not strike me as a program right now. Who is in a position where they can lose those two guys and just completely pick up the slack where they were. Now they got Ahmad Hardy, the running back transfer from Louisiana, Monroe, who I think is very good. So it's possible they could do like the Cody Schrader out a few years ago where they just completely lean on the run game and what should be an excellent defense. But I don't know. I just don't know if they can score enough points this year to really be the 5th best team in the SEC.

No mention of Oklahoma yet. How hot is that seat?

I love John Matier.

This is Brent Venables last season.

Who's more pre fired Brent Venables or.

Billy Napier?

Pittman. I think we said Pittman was going at the start of last year to leave.

Yeah, he was like, hey, just give me my buyout, I'll leave. And they're like, no, no.

I think it's just they're waiting for a certain date. Yeah, Literally.

I think his agent literally went to Arkansas, was like, please let us just go.

Don't sleep on Stoops, though. Stoop. Stoops. I feel like.

Oh, yeah, they could be bad.

He's on like the. The pony at the end of the trail just slumped over. He's been dead.

How is that, Cal?

I don't know.

I don't know.

It's crazy.

The list of a quarterback throughout this country, mediocre A and M quarterback starting in this country this year is crazy.

It's just infected the world.

Six of them.

So wait, wait. What was the analogy for. For Stoops? He's the pony at the end.

He's a cowboy slumped over on his pony at the end of the trail. He's. He's dead. We just haven't. We just haven't told the herd yet.

I do feel like Stoops has run his course at Kentucky. Like, I just feel like that's when.

The A and M thing happened. That was the.

Yeah, I mean, I. I think he knew. Like, he understood. Like, I've taken this program to the highest. I'm going to be able to get it. And the natives are kind of getting restless because that's how it works. Like, when you're a program like Kentucky and you don't have a lot of success and then you start getting success, the fan base starts to expect that every single year. So it's like, it's really hard to do that at Kentucky. So I think he was looking for a way out. I do feel like if Kirk Ference retires, it makes it really easy for both parties because Stoops can just walk out the door and head to Iowa and Kentucky can move and then some.

Are all can have the Kentucky can we all want.

Let's all just try to manifest Gruden and coach O to Arkansas.

I want Gruden at Arkansas as a package deal.

You don't think SMU guys going to Arkansas?

I. I don't think. I think Rhett Lashley might feel like he could get a better gig.

Is there.

I think. But he's an Arkansas guy that.

I don't think that matters that much.

I think it does to some.

I think you can look at SMU if you're Rhett Lashley and say, I'm better off here than I would be going to Arkansas because if I go to Arkansas, I'm going to get fired.

Can I throw out a name for I, Kirk Ferns? Pat Fitzgerald?

That's certainly on the table now.

I mean, he's Going to coach again. He's going to be good.

He wants to coach again for sure. Yeah. I mean, I think that at some point he will definitely get the opportunity to do so and it makes sense like if I'm Iowa and Pat Fitzgerald is interested, I'm certainly answering the fucking phone.

Yeah.

Have we properly called out the that happened to Pat Fitzgerald?

Yeah, it was bullshit.

Yeah, it was. Yeah. It's horseshit, you know, theory again. I'm going to, you know, disclaimer, not inside info. My theory is just Northwestern wanted to get the stadium done and they did not want any of that shit possibly interfering with getting the stadium.

That's just paranoia that's gotten rid of stupid.

Yeah.

I'm not saying it was smart.

Okay. Should we do a acc?

I mean, if you want to.

Are we worried about Cade Club Nick getting in a car accident?

So are LSU and Clemson engaging in who can come up with the stupidest rumor about their quarter? Yeah, with LSU it was their torn acl and now Clemson said, well, they took the football injury. We're going to take car accident.

So some of us in this room might have bet LSU moneyline just on the off chance it was true.

I mean it might not be a bad bet anyway.

Yeah, I like the bet to begin with.

There was a message board. It was two days ago. My brother is a first responder near the university and well, about 30 minutes ago now someone T boned a car at an intersection. My brother just told me that his clay cade clubnik inside the car car. Also Spade has spelled his name wrong.

Can you go a little. I like, I like a little bit more of this.

That got T bone. He couldn't move his arm and shoulder right exactly when they got there. He didn't text me anything else. Lucky I saw it in time. I'm 57 year olds and don't carry my phone a lot. He just told me that because I'm a die hard fan and I'm heartbroken and panicking.

Too much info.

Anytime a first responder comes to a car crash and the carsman T bone, the first thing they check is the arm.

Arm and shoulder. The only injured is arm and shoulder.

Your arm is broken. How's your shoulder?

That's the thing though. If you're going to do that, you have to just limited info. Hey, my friend's a first responder. I heard Kate Klubnick was in a car accident just, you know, really banged up. That's all I got but just something to be on the lookout for. And then you move on ambulance, you might lose. I'm 57 and I don't carry my phone around. It's like meaty. It's like, all right, this guy's full of shit.

Yeah.

So Clemson, maybe Miami.

I think Carson, Clemson or Miami are nobody.

I like my. I like Miami as the second best team in the, in the acc. I like Miami as a playoff team. I think Carson Beck is way better than Georgia fans want us to believe and that most college football fans want to believe. I think he's really, really good. Whatever happened at Georgia, his head was. He's got some shit going. He had some shit going on or whatever. I think he's really good now. The receivers, they got to rebuild the whole room in Miami, but I think they're significantly, easily the second most talented team in that conference. And they get shit on. Last year and Chris Paul hadn't made the playoff yet, but they went 10 and 2. Their defense was Syracuse. Their defense was really garbage and defense lost him a couple games. So what they think they transfer portal the shit out of that defense and.

They got a new coach too?

So.

Yeah, I mean it's. I look at Miami and I do feel, I mean, I look at the ACC in general, to me it's a two team league. Like you can argue. You could talk about Louisville and smu. I think they're both going to be good. I don't think either team is really what you would consider like playoff caliber.

I think SMU is coming way back to earth.

Yeah, I, I think like 8 and 4 is far more likely than SMU being in the playoff hunt again. But then after you get past those teams, I look at that league in general and I'm just like, that's so. That's not, not, not a whole lot there that I'm a big fan of. Pitts got a chance like they could be. They could be like 8 and 4 simply because the ACC sucks.

Yeah.

Like the bottom half of the league and they can just pile up on them. But I just don't look at Pitt as a team that I think is going to be any good even no matter what the record says.

I think Pitt might be the team that picks off someone to their season. Very good.

That's a very Narduzi thing.

Yeah, this is Narduzzi pit thing.

Holstein's a great quarterback.

Based on quarterback play. Better cow than a quarterback.

Holstein didn't have that good of a cow.

It's pretty good cow.

It's not that great of a cow.

I mean It's a solid cow.

It's a solid. It's your average cow.

You don't like the spots?

It's an average cow. Depends on spots.

Like, you know, it could be kind of a Rorschach test.

Yeah, I like a good Holstein.

There are better cows, but I think that's a.

When you.

When it's a really good quarter, when.

You ask a child to draw a picture of a cow, what do they draw? It's going to be a Holstein cow.

And they're like the Norman Rockwell of cows.

Yeah. Okay. So Miami, you think you're leaning Clemson over Miami, though?

I like Miami over Clemson. I just. I snapped Brandon's head.

I'm not a big.

I'm not a big K Clubnick fan. I'm just not. Why not?

Because of the car accident?

Because the car accident.

He's really fucking good.

He's okay.

36 touchdowns last year. Six inches playing against the ACC.

I know.

You can't tell playing against the ACC.

What happened in the Georgia game.

Yeah. And also what happened against South Carolina.

What happened when he played a real team? He was way better against Texas.

He was better for a quarter against Texas.

Way better against Texas.

After the game was pretty much out of reach. He played great for a quarter.

I will grant you, against the elite competition, he has a ways to go. But with the receiver talent around him, with the offensive line talent in front of him, I think he is a terrific quarterback. And listen, we're not in the strongest quarterback year we've ever been in. Like, there's a lot of turnover with the top teams. I think he's the top three quarterbacks in the country. I think he might be the best quarterback.

I think he's a top three quarterback to start the season simply because nobody knows who the other quarterbacks are yet. I think that by the time November rolls around, Kate Club Nick's like a top 10. Ish.

Top 10.

But you don't think. You don't think quarterbacks take steps from a year to like, this is his. What is.

I think some do. I think more. I think more don't.

I think plenty do. I think that.

I think there are far more examples of guys who just kind of flattened out than who actually improved steadily.

I think experience is a big deal. And in this transfer portal era, we kind of throw development out. With the bathwater, we would say like, you know, we just assume a guy.

Who do we throw development out or have the guys who've improved gone to the NFL?

I think there's still guys that stay around in development.

I.

Not, not.

I mean, Michael, Michael Pennix was in college.

I don't think the growth between junior and senior year is very significant. I think, I think when you've been starting since you were a freshman, by the time you played 30 games, you.

Can just be in the best example recently of three average years. And then bang.

I think this, that was an offense. That wasn't Kenny Pickett.

That was Kenny Pickett though.

That was a Walt Bell offense.

And that's going to be Clemson's offense.

Okay. I just, I don't see it, man. We've seen it for three years now. Well, I haven't seen it. So I, I think again, be clear, I don't think Clemson is going to be bad. I just would rather have Miami if I'm picking one of those teams to win. Because I think Carson Beck last year, obviously he was banged up, didn't play great. They turns out losing lad McConkey and Brock Bowers mattered. I don't know if you watch those guys in the NFL, but they were pretty fucking decent. And I think that he kind of, you know, it just, it didn't look as good. But I think now he's going to have better talent around him. I think he's going to have a better offensive line than he had at Clemson. And the one thing that's really sold me about Miami's defense defensively, like the defense was horrible last year in the secondary and they had a defensive coordinator who was insisting his guys play man on every single snap. Even though they always showed we shouldn't be playing. Man, we are going to get beat deep every single time. They ruined a great defensive line that will be one of the best in the country again this year.

They've brought in a new coordinator who understands what zone is and will actually call it sometimes. And I think that defense is going to be so much better than what we saw last year to where that offense does have to be as good as it was.

I like Miami, I'm with you, but I just, I just think Clemson, Clemson might have what, six first round picks? This is a loaded team.

They've had a lot of draft picks in recent years.

They haven't had this many on one team.

They went 8 and 4 last year. Then they won the big three, the ACC, 9 and 3, but they won the ACC. So it's like they're going to kiss.

We're not. What?

You guys are talking so much ball.

When you guys start fighting.

I have, I forgot y' all were here, to be honest.

What about week one?

Miami. Miami.

Miami is going to beat Notre Dame.

So do I.

We can agree on that.

Experienced quarterback.

I have some breaking breaking news.

There it is.

Holstein cow.

Holstein cow. Breaking moves. This fits in perfectly because we can go to the Big 12 next. Colorado announces Ralphie Six. Its live Buffalo mascot named Ember is retiring. An indifference to running contributed to the decision. Very relatable. We all suffer from that.

I'm also retiring.

The school is training Ralphie seven for her debut. But the team will take the field without its live mascot in the interim.

I don't like that.

Oh, they're fade. Colorado screw.

Hate that so much. Also, yeah, people forget that Ralphie is a female Buffalo.

They don't have a backup. Ralphie, you lose.

Shador Hunter and Ralphie Ralph.

Yeah.

They win three games. Dion should get like coach of the year.

I love a Buffalo indifference to rob running. Just didn't want to run.

I think they're beating you.

I'm a Buffalo. How do you fight?

Like, does the buff like, you're like.

Come on, girl, let's go. And she just sits there like, oh, look.

Look at that clip right there. Ralphie's walking. Yeah, walking.

That's the last time that Ralphie six ran.

And you can tell.

Shout out Ralphie six.

Running sucks.

That could be intimidating, too.

Yeah, running sucks.

I love that at some point, lawyers are involved in this situation. They're like, hey, we got to replace the old buffalo. It's not dangerous enough.

Yeah.

And the lawyers are like, okay, I get it. It's college football.

That's not even centering.

But I would say she walked onto the field. But as soon as they turned to go off the field, she started running.

She's like, finally, I get to home.

And maybe she hated.

Maybe she's got, like, social anxiety.

Yeah.

Maybe she just want to get the fuck out of there.

I don't think she likes football.

Didn't like running. Love that. All right, so Big 12 is chaos. The chaos, which I love. I love that the Big 12 has stayed the chaos.

Let me ask you this. Jalen Daniels, 60 to 1, Heisman, your thoughts?

Jalen Daniels, his problem has always been staying healthy. And about four snaps or four plays into the game last week, even though they won, he's like, limping off the field with his left arm hanging at his side like it had been dislocated already.

And they're not going to win nine games.

And this. They could.

It's the Big 12.

They could win 11 games, who the fuck knows?

They're really good. At the end of last.

Can I say a basic bitch answer to that question?

Yeah.

Can you picture the Kansas quarterback winning the Heisman Trophy? Because I can't.

That's a good question.

I just can't do it.

Not with so many teams. I just can't. I can't. I can't picture.

I'll put it this way. It's. If Arch Manning is in New York, there's zero percent chance that Jalen Daniels wins.

Yeah, well, somebody like an Arch Manning is going to be in New York.

60 to 1, right?

Yeah.

Okay. Well if you look at it from the aspect of can you bet it and then maybe I could cash it out later. Like don't expect him to win. I'm still not sold. I just, I just.

Well, you set that up like you were.

Yeah. You really did. Did you know that his name sounds a lot like James?

It does sound like Jane Danielson.

In fact, I thought that's who you were talking about at first.

He did win Heisman.

Yeah, he did.

I got blacked out there for me bet on him.

Yeah.

All right.

So big 12. Yeah. ASU.

I think not. I think.

I don't fucking know it also not a terrible Heisman pick.

No. And I'll tell you another one. I think Sawyer Robertson's really good at Baylor.

Yep.

But I got Baylor.

Why didn't you guys hold on to him?

You're. Because Mike Leach died right now. He was the last Mike Leach.

But no, but you've got. Yeah, you've got your Michael Jordan signed photo. You could have had Sawyer Robertson.

I'd rather have the Michael Jordan signed photo. So I like you're just throwing darts at the board with the big.

Yes.

Arizona State last year. I think when we look back we remember Scatterbu running crazy and Levitt playing well and then competing and should have beat Texas. We remember that. We remember him killing Iowa State. They also had seven one score games. They had a lot of really close games. They had a lot of tough losses. Like this team was rolling at the end of the season. I don't know that they're going to be able to do that for a 12 game schedule and so many close games. I think they fall down the pack a little bit. I pick Baylor, but it could be anybody. One of nine teams, 12, 10 teams.

Yeah, I picked like in our preseason picks for on the website at CBS Sports. I picked Kansas State. I'm already fucked. It feels like because they lost last week to Iowa.

They're not out of it.

But they're not out of it because that's how the conference works. Like, I'm more confident that whoever ends up winning the league will have a 7 and 2 mark. Mark in conference play than I am. And who will win it? Because I do feel like that will be how it ends up. Because that's what we saw last year. There are three teams that went seven, two in the Big 12 and ended up in the game. But as for Kansas State, I think has a chance. Iowa State has a chance. Baylor has a chance. Arizona State, Utah. Utah won me money last year. Big fan of his. But.

And they don't. And they no longer have to do the.

Will they.

Won't they? Cameron?

No. That's over.

Which is. Was torture.

That took forever to.

Forever.

And you know, a team that, like, nobody's talked about in the Big 12 that I just feel like everybody's looking for this year's Indiana. This year's Indiana. You mentioned it. Kurt Signetti leaves. James Madison. He goes to Indiana. He takes the entire fucking roster with him. Rich Rod left Jacksonville State, went to West Virginia, brought the entire fucking roster with him from Jacksonville State. And he's in a league where there really isn't an elite team.

I think the schedule's easy too.

And the schedule is pretty easy. So I look at West Virginia like, if that's a future you want to take, instead of taking Jalen Daniel, West Virginia to win the Big 12.

What teams can't win the Big 12?

I think Houston is really the only two where I want to. I would like, say that they can't win it.

I don't think Cincinnati's got it either.

I like Brendan Soaresby.

Yeah.

I just. I don't know. Like, if he takes Oklahoma State, I'm not counting out Mike Gundy.

It would be the most able to.

It would be the most Gundy thing ever, though, for him to just suddenly jump up and win 10 games again.

We said that like two years in a row. Now I feel like. Like it's time to maybe count him out.

I'm not.

But that's what he wants me to do.

He does.

That's what he wants me to do.

What the fake news wants you to do.

Texas Tech.

Yeah, they're going to be good.

Yeah. Yeah. They. They should. With the roster they put together, they should be in the mix. I. It's a little. Believe it when I see it with Texas tech, because Joey McGuire seems like more. More fantasy than fact right now.

I did some Research this off season with Texas Tech in mind. And I was just trying to look at, like, transfer portal classes as far as, like, you know, because they get ranked. It's a very, very inexact science because it's a very short track record. And my. The results of what I looked at were like. When you look at the teams that rank among the top 10 in these transfer classes, it's typically the teams that are already great who continue to play well with these transfer classes. When you look at, like, the middle class schools that are in the top 10, they tend to improve by a win. It's never really what you think just because we had a great transfer class. So I think when you factor in the Big 12 and that anybody can win it. Yes, you have to mention Texas Tech. But when you look at how, like, going that heavy in the portal usually works for most teams of their caliber, it's like 8 and 4 is probably what you're really looking at, but 8 and 4 might be good enough.

Okay. Notre Dame, independent.

Great.

Where do we have them winning the Independence this year?

I think they've got what it takes to take down UConn.

Okay.

Yeah. They're going to. They're going to be in the playoffs?

I think so.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't have them in the playoffs.

Really?

Yeah.

I think what we. What's that?

You hate Catholics.

I don't hate Catholics. I don't hate Notre Dame. I don't hate anybody. I'm simply. That's not looking.

I don't know. I've got sources that tell me you hate Catholics.

This actually makes.

Your source says, I hate Catholics.

Yeah, you hate a lot of.

From the guy who brought you. Travis Hunter. Can't win the Heisman. I'm. Do you know what?

I love that.

Do you know where the Pope is from?

Yeah, he's from somewhere in Chicago.

Yeah, I know him. He told me that you hate Catholics.

You don't.

You don't know.

I totally know the Pope. He used to go to White Sox games.

You don't hang out with the Pope.

Yes, I do. Well, not anymore.

Now he's in the fucking Vatican. This is worse than hating Catholics. You're lying about the.

I would never lie about. You just said I am Catholic.

You said Pope was slumped over on a.

No, that's. That. That. Stoops.

You were talking about the football.

I was talking about the football coach. Notre Dame. I think last year was a perfect storm of being a really good team, having a really good coach, and having an identity that Defensive identity, elite secondary. I think it was a really perfect storm of that schedule kind of nursing them back to life. They lost a Northern Illinois team and then that schedule just gave them stepping stone after stepping stone after stepping stone. And I think this one's sneaky, mean, off the rip. I think at Miami to open up, everybody's assuming they're going to win well, they're going to be breaking in a new quarterback down there. Miami defense is way, way better than it was last year. I think Miami beats them. Then they got to come home and play an A and M team who's going to be really good. That at Arkansas trip in the fourth week is really fucking tricky. I mean it's, I don't think Arkansas is an elite SEC team by any stretch of the imagination, but talent wise, that's going to be a team that is, it's certainly going to be a step up from Purdue and everything. They got Boise State on the schedule.

They got at Pitt on the schedule late, when you think all the hay's in the barn, they got to go to pit. He can say what he wants. I think Holstein's a good quarterback. The receiver, the running back, they're all really good. I think that's a tricky spot. I think Notre Dame could fuck around and be a 9 and 3 team this year. In fact, I think they will be a 9 to 3 team.

I don't, I look at this team compared to last year and I think that with Riley Leonard gone and now CJ Carr taking over starter, what you could possibly see is a far more dynamic offense that will actually be capable of throwing the football.

Are they going to let him?

Yes.

They don't seem like the team that's just going to let him, let him go out there and rip.

I think they will. I think they haven't in the last few years because they haven't had a quarterback they felt comfortable doing.

So I think Sam Hartman could.

Yeah, and they threw him around. But Sam Hartman's arm was not exactly what I would call NFL caliber. There's a reason he got cut today. But I think CJ Carr is an NFL caliber kind of arm and I think that they had good receivers last years. They haven't really been able to utilize the defensive line. They got to replace some guys on. But they also brought, they've had some young talent on that side. I think they'll be fine. I think the secondary will still be fine. We talked about Jeremiah Love earlier and I think to your point about the earlier games, I, I, I Have Miami winning this week, and I wouldn't be shocked at all if Texas A and M beats him. Like, we didn't mention them, but Texas A and M could be the fifth best team in the sec, but I think that plays to their advantage because if they finish, even if they start oh, and two and they win out, nobody's going to give a shit about those losses from September. By the time you get to the end of the year, it's going to be putting them in the playoff.

And they're Notre Dame. So if they're 10 and 2, they're getting in no matter what, so.

And they're going to have the Heisman.

And they have the Heisman.

They're starting out. Oh, and two, I think they're. They're. They're in some trouble.

Well, they have to be perfect.

I think they're in some trouble. And I don't think that schedule is as forgiving as it was last year.

And I said that there was no way they should be in the playoff last year after losing to Northern Illinois. And then look what happened.

Yeah, they almost ate it.

Is PFT going to go to the College Football Playoff? James Madison.

I put a bet on it earlier for five.

If you just bet on every team and every player.

Listen, when you win a Tommy Fleetwood bet, you've got. You've got some stuff that you can.

Yeah.

Spread around a little bit. I bet on.

Maybe you put that money on James Madison's nil. All the players wouldn't leave for Indiana.

Well, when I win this bet, then I'll. I'll kick it back in the set. I'm not a Brandon Walker.

Why did I think about that as a retort?

I'm so smart because I'm smarter than you are.

Agreed.

Yeah. So with Jay Mules, I think that they've got a good shot. I really do. I think Boise State obviously is the front runner for it, but if JMU can win the Sunbelt, I see no reason why they wouldn't be that. That 12 team.

I think James Madison can win the Sunbelt. I think what you have to overcome is how the Sun Belt is viewed in a lot of ways, like with a lot of the metrics that they use to figure out the field. And I think the other thing working against you is, like, week zero is week zero. You never want to take too much from it. But my one big takeaway from watching the games last week was, was the Mountain west might be truly horrible. So, like, Boise State might absolutely run to a 12, 0 record in that conference. And if Boise State's got a great record like that, I just don't think any G5 or other G6 team is getting in.

What if we beat Louisville, by the way? What if we beat Louisville Week 2?

I think that would certainly help, but you really need Louisville to be very good. And again, I'm not a huge. I'm not really high on anybody in the ACC outside those top two teams. And yes, I guess if Boise State does beat Notre Dame, that would count, but. So I'm sorry, Boise State's only 11.

And one with a loss because you did say.

After saying that, and you didn't bring up nil with him.

No, I. I got.

I got sluka. I got Mr. And I. I dropped that ball.

But you. You made an error, too.

It's Luke at James Madison.

Yeah.

Oh, shit.

Yeah. That should put to bed all the rest of JMU's not better make sure.

That check cashes or he'll leave halfway through the season.

We'll pay him in meth if we have to inherit some. That's not a problem.

Get any of that out in Vegas?

Nope. Nope.

No, it's not code.

Can't do it.

Do you guys want to do your picks?

What are we picking?

You'd. Same thing as last year.

But that didn't matter.

Yet it did.

One college football.

It didn't win me anything.

Yes, it did.

Brandon won you the chance to come back here.

You got interested.

I've worked here for six years.

You got introduced as a part of.

My team, and it took them that long to get you in here? And who got you in here? Me.

What would you like?

Literally been down the hall for five years before I got you in here.

What would you like us to put on the brand? What do you think the winner should get?

I. I should get.

No, the winner.

I won.

No. This year. What do you think the winner should get?

What do you think the winner should get? We're in the competition together.

I think they should get a wrestling champion belt.

Okay. Tom, by the way, spirit of college football. You could just claim last year's title.

Don't bring up.

I will 20 years from now. Don't worry.

Don't bring up wrestling as a sore subject.

Why? What's wrong with wrestling?

Brennan had a podcast that.

You took it away from him.

I didn't.

Who took it away?

Hulk Hogan died, so.

Yeah. All right, so we're gonna do that.

Should be the day with the podcast.

All of my podcasts are people that died.

Yeah. All right, so we'll finish with Roback question. RHBAC.com promo code take 20% off your first purchase. Q, zips, polos, hoodies, jogger shorts. Roback.com promo code take. What would you like to put on? Up for it, Brandon?

What.

What do you want to. What do you want? Like, what do you want to have?

I. I like y' all creating a championship belt.

Okay.

And then we have to.

Done.

Now I will parade it around all year.

Yeah, that's cool.

I will put it on my wall behind me, so that way every time I'm on my show, you'll see it.

That's perfect.

I've never seen your show.

I know. That's fine.

Okay.

We don't. We. We actually, We. We cater our show to people who know ball.

Ooh, the thinking man's podcast.

Not me.

All right, so who wants to go? Brandon, you won.

I would like. I'd like to have pick second and two and second and third.

Okay, that's fair. So how we did it last year, each of the guys are going to pick 12 teams to make the College Football Playoff and win the national championship. And then what was our scoring? Was it. I can't remember.

Last year was just one for one. That's what it was last year. Now, if you all want to improve.

It, where it nominate scoring? No, I think we did.

Do.

I think we did.

Wait, it was like three and five for. Yeah, but I think anybody past the.

Fucking semifinal, you should get extra points for getting a team that gets a of bunch.

Oh, okay. So one point for a buy and then one point for a first round win. I like that. One point for a first round win, two points for a second round, three and then four for the nationals champion.

That works for me.

Is that good?

Lock it in.

All right. That was a.

Can we. Can we.

There we go.

All right, so here we go.

You put it on your knee. That was.

Here are our picks.

This is what we did last year. Sorry, I just. I just found it.

Okay, so it was one point for make playoff. One point for first round win, two points for second round win, three points for semifinal win, four.

Yeah, See, there's one point for By.

Yeah. Yeah. So not. You don't get a point for making the playoff. You just get a point for getting a buy.

But looking at this record, it looks.

Like Tom get a point from it, but you get. Technically you would get two points for.

Got it. You.

You basically get.

So I would have won.

You get the first round.

Pretty much, yeah.

Tom had two more playoff teams than Brendan.

Yeah, I know, but I didn't. I got by the scoring, but I agreed to the scoring of it, so I don't think.

Yeah, he was more accurate than.

You had five.

You had three.

That was an asterisk on it. But he. By the way. No, that didn't look right.

That looked exactly right.

Pull it up again. Tom had five, Brandon had three.

But I. I had no.

Yeah. Brandon had Ohio State, Texas and Notre Dame make the playoff. Tom had Georgia, Oregon, Tennessee.

My quarterback time. We're just skipping Clemson. Why did. I was Clemson not Greened?

Clemson did make the playoff.

Okay, see, this is how y' all do it.

But see, my quarterback died, which is why I lost, because they beat Notre Dame, get to the finals.

All right.

I was just looking up a. A reference of what our scoring was. I. I wasn't looking up, though.

You can't look up stuff around us. Shit'll go crazy.

My bad, my bad.

All right.

You don't get to yell at our producers.

I didn't yell at Max.

You were kind of yelling at him.

You have lots of producers.

Do you feel like I yelled at you?

I feel all right.

I apologize.

Thank you. I'll still take the apology.

Max, I thought you were a great captain.

Shut the fuck up.

I was bad.

Okay, Tom, you're the first pick. Ohio State, Iowa State.

What a made pick. What a made Buckeye, Brandon, Penn State.

Penn State and Texas. Okay, so Texas, Penn State, Ohio State off the board. Tom, you now have the next two picks.

Give me Clemson, okay, and Georgia.

Why don't I pick Clemson?

I don't know.

You're the Clemson guy. I thought you were going to take. Take him.

I'm thinking of my. I'm thinking who I got my playoff. I'm thinking of who I got my playoff. I'm thinking of who I got my playoff. Thinking about who I got my goddamn playoff.

I feel like if you're. You should know you're doing Bernie Mack right now.

About who I got my Bernie Mac voice. I was. I was hanging out at the bar, you know, chilling all cool. Woman going to come up to me, she going to say, brandon. I said, yeah, that's my name. Have you heard this?

No.

She said, brandon does taste like pumpkin pie. So don't ask me a damn question. I never had no pumpkin pie.

Kick it nice, all right.

It's like he was in the room.

It's like he's right here.

That's the most racist thing I've ever heard.

No, no, it's not.

Oh, don't ruin his. Brandon.

Don't come after Brandon Mack.

All right?

You got Georgia. Well, now I got to pick teams that, like, I don't believe are going to make it.

Why wouldn't.

There's only five teams off the board.

Yeah, I know, I know.

This is still make it territory.

Give me Notre Dame. Okay, Notre Dame. But I don't think it's going to make the playoff. But there's more sure bet than like, no, no, no. Go back to Brandon. Go back to Brandon. And I'm clearly missing somebody in my mind.

Lsu.

Yeah, give me lsu. He's right.

Right?

That's. That's who I was.

Pick Big Cat.

Yep. Thank you. If LSU wins at all, I'm the college football expert.

Miami and Alabama.

Miami and Alabama.

No, no, no, no, no.

See how ready Tom is for this?

Yeah.

Do you need. You need me to tell you the teams that are still left?

Oregon, Boise State.

Oh, that's a good pick. That's a very solid value.

Yeah, thank you. I don't need your approval.

You notice we're both like terrified of going to the Big 12.

It's just a guess. It's just a pure ass. What's he doing? That's not what he's doing.

If they win it all, it's. I'm the expert.

This is God damn. See, we're rating the Big Ten in the SEC because those are far and away. But it's also. I feel like game theory wise, you want to just take some shots on other teams and other conferences.

Max is not proficient at excel. No.

I'm going to do it. Give me Michigan.

Okay, Just get. Forfeit your pick then.

Yeah, I know teams of five star quarterbacks and shit. All right, I'm going to do it. I'm going to. I'm going to break the bubble. Give me Utah.

Like it? I like it.

Okay. Since he did it, I'll also do it. And give me. Give me Baylor.

Okay. It's kind of Tom's pick too, because he broke the bubble for you.

Yeah, well, I broke the.

Once again, I am the reason he's here.

Notre Dame is also Tom's pick.

Not true at all.

You have two picks you've made on your own.

None of this is true. No, that's not.

Tom and PFT used to live in Austin, so Texas is pft.

I know. We're getting to the.

Yeah, it's getting nasty out there. Give me a motherfucking. Give me Missouri. It. I like them to go 10 and 2.

Okay.

I had them last year.

I think in this we can stop it after. I know we're close.

Yeah. We're like 24 now.

Now.

Yeah. Well, we've each got. What. How many more picks you got?

4.

4.

4.

Give me a and M. Which one? Texas.

Okay.

The one in College Station.

I already have Texas.

Okay. And then give me.

Nebraska's still out there.

Need me to write down some teams for you?

Yeah.

Do you not know Arizona State? You don't know the teams, do you?

I'm just trying to figure out all the SEC teams that don't have a shot. So far, I've only got Mississippi State.

Well, obviously Kentucky doesn't have a shot.

No, I mean, I feel like Kentucky's got a shot. They've won. Maybe in the later rounds.

This is a later round, Tom.

This is the mid to late round.

10 South Carolina.

Oh, no, no, no. I don't want South Carolina. Give me. You know what? Brandon, this way. So he's right. He. Him. Give me Nebraska.

I'll kick you in the. Okay. Give me Arizona State. And give me. Fuck Illinois.

That's fine. I win either way.

That's Tom's pick, too.

Yeah. Well, since I have a degree from there, I feel like I should get half those points if.

Yep.

Those are. That's in the Bible.

How come all of Tom's. My picks are somebody else's?

Yeah.

All right.

So I've got two left here. Give me Kansas State. Because I'm not totally off of them. I thought they actually played well.

Certainly didn't play well.

I think they played better than Iowa State.

Well, they didn't or they would.

Well, no, they. You could play better and lose.

They were down 10, especially in the Big 12.

Go watch the tape, buddy. I watched the all 20.

I did. It was not impressive.

Name four players on the team. Let's see.

Avery Johnson, Avery Johnson's dad, and Avery Johnson's brother.

I mean, those guys are fighting for their brother. That's. That's the kind of team unity I want.

Dylan. Dylan Edwards and then the receiver.

So let's see. You took Illinois off the board. Give me. Give me two, Lane.

Oh, yeah. You needed to take a G5. That would have been an asshole move if you did.

Yeah. It just felt like it's.

Yeah.

Give me. To round it out, to finish it off, to cap it. Usc, to make it whole. Give me the Washington Huskies. You like that?

I do. My. My only concern about Washington that we didn't talk about much is just. I met Demond Williams in person. Not the largest human being you're going.

To run into court.

They don't make big quarterbacks.

He's a running quarterback, though.

Gotta have some meat in the bones.

Yeah.

Gotta have. Have some density, some heft.

You.

You. You've. That's two.

Yeah. Okay.

Okay.

Good job, boys.

Thank you.

I think we know 11 picks each. That's. That.

That's 12, right?

Well, no, I that up.

I that up first. Tag Tom and Brandon.

Oh, so we need one more.

So we had it. So it's my.

That's true.

No, you know what? It's Max's fault. It's Max's fault, not ours.

No, it's definitely not our fault. I take one more.

Jalen hurts isn't even a top 10 NFL QB.

You know what? I've been.

I'm taking away all the.

All the.

That would be my pick.

I know it's tough.

It's. There's not you. Why not Louisville?

Oh, I don't hate it.

Take James Madison. Madison.

No, I just. I feel like there's. I feel like they're racist against the Sunbelt.

You think James Madison's racist?

I think college football institution is.

He lived in 1700s.

Yeah, like the school or the man.

Harrisonburg feels like a racist place.

I would agree with that.

When you drive through.

Yeah, there's some. There's some truth to that. A lot of golden corrals.

That's always a sign.

Always a sign. They got the old cracker barrels.

We're not giving up our old logo. They're holding on.

It's like, from my dead hand.

Yeah, let's see.

You can't name 24 teams.

I'm just trying to figure out what other big 12. Give me Texas Tech. Fuck it, they sprint.

So no Ole Miss on there.

We didn't miss, like, a top five team, did we?

If we did, we'll find out. No, I don't think you guys did. I think you're good. I'm looking at the odds right now. All right, boys. Thank you. It's always great, always fun to get.

The invite to walk down the hall three doors to be on a show for the third time ever.

That's not true.

Fourth time ever.

That's not true.

Seventh time ever.

I don't know. You did three different.

How many times have I been on?

A lot. A lot.

You've been on a shit ton.

Plus, I'm just trying to remember my.

Burners used to fucking kill you.

You're burning.

Hank's on every Show. So Tom's got representation.

Is Hank here, by the way? Never seen Hank.

Brendan, you've been on a bunch of the Takeee Awards.

Yeah, I was awarding things to Ben Mintz.

Yeah, no, but this year we illegally taped you and ran it.

Hold on. So what you're saying is like, the only time you're on the show is when you're connected to somebody else, correct?

Tom Fornelli. 11 times.

I don't stand on my own. How many times am I for real? Like 1.

5.

5.

I'm at 5.

Yeah, that's pretty good.

Dingers only has helped.

Yeah, that's true.

Which, by the way, I'm a lead at.

Yeah, you are good at it.

Who's the one of you guys that drafted the utility second baseman of the Diamondbacks who was only up because the guy was injured?

That was Stephen Che, the fantasy expert. Yeah, he did it because his name was funny, so. All right, boys, you're the best. Thank you both.

Well, one of us is.

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That's neutrophil.com promo code pardon. Brandon and Tom were also brought to you by our great friends at Chevy Chevy Silverado. The best Truck in the world. For over a century, Chevy's been building trucks. Trucks that don't flinch and never quit. If you're hauling lumber on the job or trying to get the smoker, the cooler, the cornhole boards, and the whole crew to the tailgate on time, Chevy gets you there. When Chevy says most dependable truck, they're not just spec, they're not just speculating. Chevy trucks have earned more dependability awards for trucks than any other brand, according to J.D. power. 2025. Sounds like they have the stats to prove it. In every Chevy truck, dependability comes standard. For more on Chevy trucks, visit chevy.comjd power.com awards for more award details. And now, here's CJ Kirst. Enough for something completely different.

Okay. We now welcome on a very, very, very special guest. He is our star player from the Philadelphia Water Dogs. 11 overall from Cornell. National champion. What's the Heisman called again towards on. There it is. So he won that. It's CJ Curse. Cj, thank you for joining us. We figured maybe it's a good time to have you come in, get you pumped for the semifinals coming up. I don't know if you know this, but we've won a championship. As owners of the Water Dogs, we'd like to add to our ring collection, even though we lost the first ring that we were given.

We are like Jerry Jones.

Yeah.

And you are like Micah Parsons.

Yeah.

So let's get a deal done.

Yeah.

Who signs your checks at the end of the day? Does it say Paul Rabel on the check?

No, I don't think so.

Okay. How much more money do you want? Because we'll get it for you.

Kenya.

Yes, Whatever you want. Wow.

I would. I would love an NFL deal.

Okay.

Possible.

Yeah, Done. How so how's the season going? I mean, you, you obviously like. We were very excited when we got the first overall pick. Watched you at Cornell. Incredible season. Most goals ever. Is that correct? Yes, most. Most goals ever is pretty sick.

Pretty cool.

But how's this season going? Has there been a transition from like college to the pros?

Yeah, definitely. I mean, I broke my hand towards the end of the college season, so had to take a couple. Couple weeks off once I finished up on playing in the championship and then been playing for the last five games, so was 0 for 4 to start at the end of the regular season, so wasn't really contributing, I guess too much for the team. But then we got it done in the playoffs, so we're still dancing.

Yeah.

Is there a difference between College Speed and PLL. Speed.

Speed.

Yeah.

100. There's a new shot clock, so after face off, you got 30 seconds to go take a shot, and then. And I guess a regular shot clock resets 52. And then in college, it's.

It's 80.

So much faster.

Yeah. Do you think it's that you are so good at lacrosse, and then you also can be like, I went to an Ivy League school.

Yeah.

I think. I mean, I guess in lacrosse, it's not the. The worst look in the world where people are like, oh, you went to an Ivy League school.

But.

But I guess compared to in the outside world, other sports people always. Always give you. Give you some crap.

Yeah, you got. You got it all. You literally have it all.

Did they have, like, special lacrosse courses at Cornell or did you take, like, the full student load?

Full student load, yeah. Yeah. So it was tough.

Was that hard?

Yeah, I would say so. I mean, just like any other school, though, you figure out the easy classes. So I can't. Can't complain about the five years I took to graduate there.

Yeah, you guys have been. You've been on a little tear right now. Nobody wants to see the Water Dogs win. We are the underdogs right now, and we're playing Cinderella. So tell me about the matchup that we have coming up this weekend.

Yeah, so we're playing the New York team, and actually my roommates on the team and a couple other Cornell guys that I've had the opportunity to play with. So, you know, a lot of. We've been talking a lot about this matchup, but we had a tough loss to them a couple weeks ago by 1. 20, 19 was probably the coolest BLO game I've been a part of. So fired up to play them again. And in Philly, too. So home crowd?

Hopefully.

Yeah.

Hopefully a lot of purple there.

Yeah.

I hate them so much. Yeah, I hate New York. It's like, I always have. I've got two favorite teams. The Water Dogs and whoever's playing New York. Yeah.

Or no, whoever plays the Whip Snakes too well.

Yeah, fuck the Whip.

Yeah, fuck the Whip Whip Snakes. All right, so your brother. You have three brothers also in the pll.

Yeah, three.

Okay, so this is like a Saving Private Ryan situation. Like, one of you goes down with an injury, then another one goes down. We got to save CJ Curse. There's like. That's. That's pretty crazy. Crazy. Four brothers in the. In the pll. Are you the best by far?

I wouldn't really say that, no.

You can say that. I mean, you had the best college career.

Yeah, I guess so.

I mean, you scored the most goals in college lacrosse history. I. I'm gonna say that you had the best college career.

I appreciate that.

Yeah.

So.

But is it, like, are you still trying to catch your older brothers even though you've been very accomplished yourself?

I mean. Yeah. Now playing in pros, I mean, it's totally different. So, like, they're pretty accomplished themselves. They've been a part of world teams, so trying to try to follow their footsteps and hopefully in a couple years have a, I guess, better resume in that regard.

Yeah.

Where were they drafted?

So two of them play for the Boston Cannons and then one place for the California Redwoods.

Okay. Were they also taken, like, really high up?

No.

Oh, but you were, so.

Got them on that.

Yeah.

One. One.

Yeah. So you are. Yeah. You're like the Rob Gronkowski of the Gronkowski. Oh, wow.

I mean, means a lot.

Yeah.

Yeah. Have you been in a fight this year?

No, I haven't. I feel like that is a level that I could definitely jump on my brothers because they play. They play indoor lacrosse as well, which is huge. And fighting, I guess, compared to some of the other styles of lacrosse. So once. Once I get to that fighting level, I think, then. Then I have a. An upper edge on them.

When was your last fight?

Last flight.

Wow. I don't think I've ever got guys that handle your business for you.

Of course.

Yeah.

That's the name of the game. That's just sports soft. No, I wouldn't. Come on, now.

Listen, we're the owners. We got to ask the hard questions.

I like that response.

So, yeah, that was a good guy.

That was good.

Good job. And I. Obviously, you're not soft. You literally played with a broken hand and scored the most goals and won the national championship. But that was a good answer.

Yeah.

You got a little offended by that. I like that.

Yeah.

Yeah. Are you soft? Answer the question. No. Okay, good. So why aren't you fighting?

Because I don't want to be suspended for. I mean, come on now. I want to be playing for.

That's true. Other good answer.

He's too valuable.

Other good answer. That's. That's a very answer.

Who's our. If you were to say we had an enforcer on the Water Dogs, who would you say?

Enforcer?

Yeah.

Wow. I would say a guy who's been living in the penalty box. Jimmy Free Hill. Another rookie. He's trying to make. Make a name for himself by by, you know, sitting in the sin bin. So it's been. It's been impressive to see.

Yeah.

Yeah. I like that. Every team, if you have a Michael Jordan, you have to have, like a Dennis Rodman.

Exactly.

Ready to throw down at all times. Yeah, I. I like where we're at right now. I really do, because I feel like the. The rest of the league underestimated us after the regular season. What changed?

What changed? I would say within the older guys. I don't know if you guys are familiar with the veterans that we have on our team.

We own the champions.

Where are the rings, though?

Pancasm?

Well, we moved offices when we got the ring, and then we have them somewhere, I'm sure. Yeah, but, yeah, we.

We are.

Come on, man. We're owners. We know. We know this whole. We basically picked the roster ourselves, honestly.

Like, the rings are a flex for us, but we don't need to show them off all the time. Like, you guys went out there like the team earned it.

Yeah.

So I don't need to act like I was a part of the team, even though I did put the team together and galvanize the team and give them words of inspiration and really will them to victory. I don't need to act like I'm part of the team. So, like, the rings. I want to see you guys wearing the rings.

Yeah.

The most important ring for me is the next one.

Yeah, but you.

Well said.

You were talking about our veterans. Like, you talk about, like, Mike Schlosser. Kelly. Yeah. Ck or Zach Curry. Yeah, yeah. Like, are you talking about these guys here?

McArdle as well? Yeah, those are our guys. Those guys stepped up big.

So that's where the difference is coming.

That's where difference is coming. Yeah, we're. I mean, they're taking control of the locker room, and so it's. It's been a huge difference from the past couple games to now be in the playoffs.

So you guys are playing the. The semifinals on Monday. Our game is at 11am Central, noon Eastern. H. Like, you played the. Have we played the Atlas? How. How have we done against the Atlas this year?

Yeah, so we're. We're owing two. So it's.

God damn it.

Yeah.

Hard to beat the team three times.

Exactly.

Yeah. Yeah.

So we got that going for us. But yeah, no, I. I said it a little bit earlier, but we lost him 20 to 19 couple weeks ago in Boston, so I feel like we know them well and fired up to. To play on Monday against them.

Yeah, I. I'm definitely Fired up to watch. How fast can you shoot a lacrosse?

Ah, wow.

I would like to say close to triple digits. Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

Do you have a, like a favorite goal you've ever scored?

Favorite goal I've ever scored in the pros.

Yeah.

Or overall?

It could be overall, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, I would say so. I want to say like my freshman year against, against Yale, it was like off, off a clear. Got the ball and like a ground ball and ran a couple. Ran like 50 yards and then put in the back of the net on one. On none. So, yeah, I'd say that that would be my favorite goal.

I like that. What about the longest goal you've ever scored?

Longest goal I've ever scored. I want to say I've scored like a couple empty netters from like 20 yards away, but nothing, nothing too special.

Two deep.

Yeah, yeah.

No two bombs yet. So I'm trying to hunt.

That's coming this weekend.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

They don't think that you can shoot from. From distance.

Yup. Yeah, it's on the scout, so we'll see.

What's the vibe in the locker room about the owners? Are we, Are they like, hey, fuck these guys? Are they like, hey, we love. Our own owners are like, thank God they're so hands off that we never see them.

Yeah, I would say the, the last part. Yeah, thank God. They're just kind of pushing it towards us, letting us run with it. And then they have conversations like this to make sure they're still in the loop at the right moment.

Yeah, well, I mean, we're, we're players first. We always have been players first. We, we, we take the perception here that, like, you guys are professionals, you know what to do. We're just going to step back and you guys are going to do your thing. Thing, and we're going to just do our thing and we're going to win.

Then we'll claim credit for it after.

Yeah, right. Yeah.

Then we'll be like, yeah, our team won. But, yeah, it's really up to you guys. Like, you guys are, are controlling your entire destiny right now. We don't want to interfere with anything. Yep. We're not, you know, the best lacrosse minds in the world, but we will talk. So is there anybody out there, whether it be a player or an organization or another owner, that you would like to make our enemies? We'll get, we'll get in there to shirt like, big time.

Yeah, No, I appreciate that and, you know, I think it's much needed at this time of the Year, so. But I, I, I don't have anyone specific that comes to mind.

Okay, what about this? So we're owners of the Water Dogs. We're about to play the semifinals. We guarantee victory. We're going to kick the shit out of the Atlas.

Hell yeah.

Okay.

I like that.

Print it. Put it on the paper.

Fuck the Atlas.

The Atlas.

All my homies hate the.

Let's go.

We just, we just wrote a check that hopefully you can cash for us.

Yeah, I mean, we gotta, gotta get it done, though.

Yeah. Are you thinking about the Olympics in the all?

Yeah, I would say, say that's kind of the, the biggest goal and like, biggest dream and being a lacrosse player and hopefully have that opportunity to be pretty special.

How does, how does that process work? How are they doing, like, tryouts? Team usa? How, how does that all go down?

Yeah, so it kind of started last summer, just kind of, it's a new form called sixes. So they tried, you know, getting a group of guys together and figuring out what's the best way to play, play the game. So then this summer is kind of like the first real round of, of tryouts. So invite another, another group of guys down to Sparks, Maryland, where the USA lacrosse headquarters is, and then figure it out from there. So I guess process starts and, you know, a couple weeks.

So there's a chance. It's an outside chance. We have a guy here who actually, he works down in Florida now, but he is the goalie, I think backup goalie for the Czechoslovakian team.

Wow.

I have privately funded the Czechoslovakian team in certain ways, and if they qualify for the Olympics, I will walk with them into the stadium in la. Is that Stolen Valor?

You'll be there?

I will be an Olympian. I will get the tattoo. I will be an Olympian. Is that stolen? I don't think we're, it's going to be a long road because I think there's only what, eight teams? Six teams?

I don't know the total teams, actually.

It's small. They, they kind of screwed us on that. But would you think, like, if we're walking down the street and we both are like, hey, we're Olympians in lacrosse, would you be like, no, this guy is. He just, he just paid a little money for the check team and I played. Would you be upset at me?

No, I would tip my cap. Yeah. I would say, anyway, you get there. Yeah, I'd say, respect. You're doing your part.

I would say it's not, it's not stolen valor. It's treason. If you're funding a foreign country.

Well, they're not going to.

They're not going to the Olympics.

They're not going to beat. I'm a roof of the US you're.

Going to walk out. I'm still going to roof Czechoslovakian flag on your.

Yeah. I mean, to. To say that you're an Olympian. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't know about that.

I don't.

I don't know about funding the checks. I'd like to fund USA Lacrosse.

Wow.

How much? Five, ten dollars. What do I have to do to be able to tattoo the rings on my. On my arm?

I think a little bit more than that.

Yeah. We can talk about that. Do you have. Do you have, like a. A thing that you would do if we won the PLL this year? Like, would you. Would you shave your head? How bad do you want it?

I would shave my head. I would get a tattoo maybe.

Okay. Tat. I might get a tattoo if we win. You.

Yeah.

There's a couple guys who have. From the 2022 season. It's pretty cool. And I thought. Do you guys have it anything like that?

We didn't get.

Oh, you guys didn't get the.

Just the ring.

Just the ring.

Just the ring. Which we took great care of.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'd maybe get a water dog tat it's awesome logo.

It's a great.

Right.

Do we know what kind of dog that is?

I think it's a Great Dane.

I think it's a Great Dane.

Yeah, we'll go with Great Dane.

It looks like a Great Dane.

If you guys do win. When you win. Sorry, got to talk like an owner here. It beers on I us full tab. Whatever we want to do. So just maybe send that back to the boys and be like, hey, listen, beer's on the guys.

Wow. We appreciate that.

And we'll give you every single member of the team a free subscription to. Pardon my take.

Wow.

Yeah. Pretty.

Yeah.

And 2C.

And 2C, if you want to see.

You probably can't accept the 2C.

I'll.

I'll do the 2C for you. All right. I'll celebrate for you guys.

Steve gets all the free tues.

I bought you a bunch of 2C. Unfortunately, it's against the law for me to give it to you. I guess I just have to do all the 2C.

Okay.

Okay. All right. So we're going up against the Atlas. Who's on the other side of the bracket?

It is the Outlaws and the Redwoods.

Yeah. Okay. You knew that.

Yeah. Yeah. Who would you rather face?

My brother's on the redwood, so.

Oh, yeah, I like that.

Pretty cool.

That'd be good. Be like the Harbaugh Super Bowl.

Exactly. You guys are tuned in for that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, no doubt.

What was it like? So it's five of you total, right?

Yeah.

Your youngest brother is playing where?

Rutgers.

Okay.

Sophomore.

Is he. Is he gonna get drafted, you think? Is he good enough?

Hopefully.

He's got.

He's got to earn it.

So what. What was it like growing up with, like, four other brothers and you guys are playing, like, when you were like, four years old, you're like, I'm going to be awesome at lacrosse because all my brothers are awesome. And we're just doing this together.

Yeah. It wasn't even just lacrosse at the start. I feel like we played everything and played basketball, football. I mean, loved playing baseball as well. So it was. It was great just having so much going on all the time, and I feel like we all enjoyed it, which is the best part. So going to sit at a field for a whole weekend, just watching your brothers play, and then you get to do it the following weekend. It was pretty special. And then as we got older, everyone's taking a lot more serious, so, yeah, it was unreal.

What's your second best sport?

I would say basketball.

See? All right, can I give you a little just tip here? Media training.

Yeah.

You got to say lacrosse, because then it's like, whoa. Yeah, really? He's better at something else.

Even better.

Yeah.

A little illusion, like, yeah, lacrosse is actually my second best sport.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's a good point.

Yeah. Just say, hey, listen, we do media training for all of our players. You can see this. You're a rookie. Did you get rookie phased at all?

I mean, a little bit.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Good.

Yeah.

We are pro hazing on our team.

That's good.

Yeah.

You guys were in a part of talking to the veterans.

No, we just say we're pro hazing and just go with whatever you want.

We look the other way. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I. I think. Think that there. A small amount of hazing can be good for camaraderie. You just got to watch out that you know what it is at the pro level. I feel like you don't ever have the guy that takes it too far, because usually the guy that would take it too far would be the guy that sucked on the team. And so he was like, okay, I'm going to nominate myself as being in charge of hazing, because that's all I'M going to do, but you don't have that when you're all really good. So with you and your brothers, where did you all go to school? What's the. What's the breakdown for colleges?

Yeah.

So Covid, kind of shift, like, mix it all up. So my oldest brother Connor went to Villanova, and then fifth year at Rutgers.

Okay.

And then my brother Colin went to Lehigh and then went to Rutgers with Connor. And then Cole went to Lehigh, played with Colin, then went to Cuse for his fifth year. And then I went to Cornell and Cadence at Rutgers.

Okay. What is historically the best college for lacrosse? Johns Hopkins.

Johns Hopkins. Very good. Syracuse. Maryland. Maryland.

Yeah.

So I would say those. Those schools are up there.

Cornell's not bad, though. No, Cornell's pretty good.

Cornell's great.

How often do you guys quote Andy Bernard to each other?

It's funny. I have people and they're asking around the office were like, oh, where'd you go? I was like, cornell. They're like, oh, there it is.

Yeah. He kind of ruined the whole Cornell thing, right? Yeah.

I mean, I wouldn't say ruined it, but definitely that's the first thing people think of now.

Yeah.

Which is all right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I can't complain.

Why do you run around with giant spoons and what does that question mean?

Mean giant spoons are fern to lacrosse sticks?

I think so.

Yeah.

Is that. What do you guys call it? Spoons?

I would say it was. That was a little joke when we were. When I was younger.

Okay.

Calling it spoons.

Okay. Yeah. Do you have a bigger net than most guys? No. Okay. I don't know where that question was going. Thought I'd take a shot.

What about. What about the sticks? Do you guys have, like, different. Are they all the same, like. Like uniform, or are they different, like baseball bats where one guy's like, I like a. I like a bigger stick?

No, they're much different.

Yeah.

I mean, like, people put softballs in their stick to make it wider. I use Nike. I'm a big Nike guy, so. And. But there's so many different companies with so many different styles that you can change it up. So it's kind of like a hockey stick. There's different curves on it, and people like different things, and great players use weirder things, so it's. It's impressive to see.

Yeah. How much does it hurt to get hit by the ball?

A lot. Yeah.

Yeah, I bet.

Yeah.

It really wasn't a good question. Yeah.

Shoot it, like, at the goal. Bully. Just to hurt him. Be like, I don't care if I just want to. I want to hurt the guy.

There's a couple of my buddies who are Canadian, love doing that. So that's.

Yeah, yeah, it's very funny.

It's a great strategy.

Yeah.

No, you hit them, they're hurting for the rest of the game. And it's smart, especially when you hit it. Hit him in the dome. It's like, wow, they're. They're out for it now.

Yeah, you just dome them up real quick. Then the next time you shoot, he's like, getting out of the way. He's like, I don't want to get hit again.

Exactly.

Our big thing is we just need to shoot more. Because I always. And this might be stupid, you can tell me if this is dumb, but I feel like you. It's really hard to save a, like a 90 mile an hour shot.

Yeah, just shoot more. No, I'm with you. I totally agree.

Does the coach ever say that to you guys?

Yeah. I would say shot location is probably the more, I guess, coaching point there, but trust me, I'm a huge shooter. As much as you can.

Yeah. We want to take the analytics out of the game with the whole, like, shot location. What's a quality shot? We just want to go just. Yeah, we're a big quantity over quality guy.

Yeah.

What would be your number in a game?

I want it. I want to say more.

100 shots.

Yeah. Twice.

How many. How much do you usually shoot?

Me personally?

Well, your team.

Team, I would say around, what, 40?

Yeah. So 100 seems right.

Let's double it. Minimum. Double it.

Yeah.

40 might be a lot too, but. Yeah. Okay.

80 shots, 80 goals. Yeah, that's. That's the team motto right now. Yeah. All right. Do you have. Do you have, like, a celebration that you're known for for?

No, I wouldn't really say. I mean, kind of just get fired up. He just scream a little bit.

What is he gonna do? He just scored so many goals.

You get exhausted with all the celebrations.

Right?

Do. Yeah, that's smart. Conserve your energy.

Exactly. I don't know. I mean, if you have any ideas, would love to hear him.

Yeah, maybe. I always like it when they pretend to, like, drink out of the football when they crack it open and.

Yeah.

So maybe you could have a football with you that you could pretend to drink out of.

Yeah, I mean, I don't have a football out there on the field.

Just thinking about football.

Maybe, like, taking the lacrosse stick as a sword forward.

Yeah, that's common.

Like you know, stabbing the goalie in the face or something.

I don't know.

I like it when. When Mississippi players, they crawl in all fours and then they lift up a leg and pretend to pee. That's a good one, too.

Yeah.

Pretend to pee on the net. This is my net now.

Yeah. Bow and arrow.

Yeah, yeah, Bow and arrow's common.

Do they have, like, gun restrictions in the NBA?

Yeah, you might get fined for that.

Yeah, we'll pay.

We gotta talk to Rabel.

You'll pay for that one.

Yeah, yeah.

What if you guys started picking up our font?

How much. How much is a fine for using your lacrosse stick as a gun and shooting it?

I mean, I haven't done it, so I don't know the number there.

What is the average fine? Because I'm actually interested in this. We could become like the. The Al Davis Raiders. Yeah, just pay all the fines.

I haven't been fine, but I would say a couple hundred bucks.

Oh, yeah, we'll start picking up.

I'll pick up your fines in the semifinals and the finals if you get fined. That's coming out of our pocket. Yeah, don't worry about that. Yeah, I want you guys playing lose, loose. Not worrying about the. The man upstairs looking down, trying to nitpick your celebrations. You guys do what you do and let me and Big Cat take care of the tab.

Yeah, let's. Let's get some clips going. Like, let's get some viral clips going of you guys being just cocky if we're winning this game.

All right.

I feel like we will give us an edge now.

Yes.

This is what we needed.

Yes. Yes. I have a real question about your championship run with Cornell. Awesome season. Obviously, like I said, you, you know, most goals in. In college lacrosse history and you first championship since 1977. What was it like going into that game? Did you feel some extra pressure? Like, hey, I've had an unreal career. I've done all this stuff, but if I don't win this, it's going to be a little different. You know, the story will be different about me. For better or worse.

Yeah, no, I would say going into that weekend, we were there my freshman year in 2022. So we're like, as a senior class, we're like, all right, this is. This is great. Like, we're here. This is exactly we wanted to be. And, you know, in the semifinals, we beat Penn State. It was the only loss we had that year. So then we were like, when we beat them, we're like, I think we got the Momentum that we need. Everyone had a chip on their shoulder going into Maryland, who beat us in 2022 for the championship. So I would say we, we had a different, different feel and different confidence going into that game. And Coach Buick gave a pretty good speech beforehand about that referencing that. And yeah, one, once first whistle blew, I went off sides which kind of sucked. And then we were man down first 10 seconds into the game. And then once we got through that, I feel like we were all knewing that we were. Knew that we were going to get it done.

And you played this game with a broken hand. How long were you, did you have your broken hand in the season?

I did it like after the third game.

Holy shit.

Yeah.

And did it hurt every. Like, were you able. What was that like, broken hand? Yeah, just stopped playing.

I mean, I don't know if, like it's pretty common in football, but guys, guys play through injury, they get, they get some help in that regard.

Hard.

So yeah, I would say our trainers did a great job getting me ready for, for game day with some extra help.

You got two hands anyways.

Yeah, exactly.

That's why God gave you the second one. Yeah, yeah. You'll be okay. What about, what about the color of Gatorade you guys like to drink on the sidelines? What color is that?

I don't know if there is a certain color that was every time, but I would say we did a mixture every, every week. It was called Bog Jump Juice.

Okay.

Yeah, it was like. It would end up being like green like before games.

So what's, what's in bug juice?

It's just a mixture of all the Gatorade powder and like a huge five gallon bucket and our trainers just mix it up and.

That's sick. Yeah.

Sugar. So, yeah, it was great.

That's awesome. That's like going to, to a restaurant when you're a kid and getting every.

Yeah. 7 11. Getting all the slushies together.

Yeah. Mixing all the, all the powders into one and drinking bug juice. Yeah, I like that.

Yeah.

Yeah. All right. I. C.J. this has been awesome. I have one last question. Roback question. R, H, O, b a c k.com promo code. Take 20 off your first purchase. Q, zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, rollback.com promo code, take. I'm actually going to give my last question to Zach. Zach, do you have a question for cj? Zach's in the booth. Oh, memes too. Memes played lacrosse. Division 1 lacrosse. I did not. Where did you, what did you Play. I did not play Division 1 lacrosse. Put on those heads.

I gotta put these on.

Sorry. Division two, Division two slash three, slash three slash three.

All American, though.

All American. Division three lacrosse player. There you go. Yeah.

How are you doing today, man?

Quick question for you. I was just curious. Later on, have you give.

Given any thought to later on your career? Possibly getting into ownership, getting into team management and grab.

Scooping up a team in the pll? Yeah.

I mean, you look at the ownership now in the pll, it seems like a pretty sweet role to have. So I feel like I would love to follow in their footsteps and maybe get involved and stay in the game. Feel like pretty unreal.

That's a good question. You got a question about video games?

After a game, tough loss or a.

Great win, you got you guys heading.

Back to the hotel or to the apartment?

You guys ripping any games?

Video games, you're saying if you're.

If you're into that. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, I don't think guys have been bringing their. Their consoles on. On the away trips to hotels, but in college, yeah. It was more NHL at night before. Before going out.

So just a thought.

Could be a little bit of a momentum shift, some good bonding. Four or five guys hop into a. Hop into.

Hop into a party afterwards.

Hop on the game.

Yeah, I feel like that would be huge, especially with. With being in the same hotel. I feel like that would be good team camaraderie.

Just something to think about. And it's safe, fun, keeps you inside.

You know what I mean?

Exactly.

Yep.

Stay up late doing that with. Which sounds fun.

Yeah.

Well, us owners don't have to worry about what they're getting into if they're all just having some safe fun on a video game. Good point.

Zach Memes, you got a question.

Who's on your Mount Rushmore of Cornell lacrosse players? Oh, good question.

Wow, that's a great question.

Great question.

So I would put Amy McEnany. So I'm going way back to 70s. So I would put Amy McEnany. Attackman. Won national championship with my second guy, Mike, French Canadian. Then I would put Rob Pinel up there. Whip snake.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But he was unreal player. And then I'd also put Max Seabalt. So Rob Pinel and Max Siebel also won the Torton as well. So that's. That's my four.

What. What about yourself? I mean, no, we got to have some confidence here. You're on the Mount Rushmore.

Yeah.

Get yourself on there. Yeah. All right. So who's Off?

Who's off?

Yeah.

The whip snake. Yeah, I guess so.

All right.

Who is that, Paul?

Rob.

Rob.

Rob.

Sorry. Rob.

Do you think could. Could lacrosse players from the 1970s compete with the modern day?

I mean, this. The game, the technology of the sticks. Night and day now, but I would say they were. They're different breeds, so, yeah, I would say athletically for sure.

Yeah. What was the difference of the game back. Back then?

I mean, it was no shot clock. The sticks were barely made out of plastic at that point. So I don't know. I mean, it's just like every. I just like hockey. Like I said earlier, the sticks are just the completely different game. Change the sport.

Yeah. I feel like any sport like that back in the day, probably some really tough guys because you just get in the face, spitting out. Out teeth, spitting blood, and you're like, I don't care.

I'm.

I'm a lacrosse player. I'm gonna keep playing.

Yeah, exactly.

Not say you guys aren't tough right now, but it's like that whole mentality of playing back when there was, like, not any attention at all on lacrosse and doing it just for the love of it. Like, that's a different breed of guy. Yeah.

They were all in frats at that time, too, at Cornell, so I even. I tip my cap a little bit more to. To those guys and those alums.

Yeah.

Yep.

All right, cj. Best of luck. Monday noon, Eastern Water Dogs, Atlas semifinals. We are covering all fines that are incurred in that game. Let's go win another 20, chip. And then. And then. And then beer's on us.

The.

The. The tab is on us if. If we can win a championship.

So let's do it.

Let's do it.

Thanks for having me.

All right. Thank you so much, man.

Yep. CJ Curse was brought to you by Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew. That was a dude. That was a crisp. Hank. Pop me. Oh, yeah. Pop off for the boys, Hank.

Hell yes.

Love Mountain Dew. Nothing says summer like daytime baseball games. Nothing says summer like going to camp. And nothing goes better with hanging out outside and hanging with your friends than the refreshing citrus kick of Mountain Dew. I've got the Mountain Dew Diesel right here. OG flavor. Beautiful can. Look at these. This retro can with the retro sunburst. It's got the mountains right there. I want to go climb a mountain. I want to drink a Mountain Dew on top of it. I want to hang out with the mountain. Dude, Chill, guy. That tastes so good. Mountain Dew presented Camp Barstool for us a couple weeks ago. That was the best time ever. Loved hanging out with the guys. Love competing, love drinking Mountain Dew the entire time. The mountain's calling. Experience the refreshing citrus kick of Mountain Dew. Grab one today. And now, fire fest of the week.

Okay, fire fest of the week. Henry. Yeah, what do you got?

I told a story about hiding a gun on a podcast earlier.

Yeah, it's a good story.

Statue of limitations.

Yeah, hopefully.

And then yesterday we did. We did a Barcelona After Dark. We talked about it. Was it atv, the Pro Volleyball Tour? Chase Buddinger, San Diego Smash? I was like, pros versus Joe's. We got smoked. And going into it, my whole time, I was like, I just want to not, you know, get injured like, we're old now. I'm always constantly thinking, is this something where if I try too hard, I could get hurt? Taking, you know, spikes from professional volleyball players was like, yeah. So I was like, I'm not going to put myself in the line of fire. Did a good job during that. At volleyball. Our softball team, they needed a sub. I didn't play in the summer because we weren't here, but I was like, yeah, I'll sub in for the game. Didn't get hurt during volleyball. Went to softball, and I got stepped on. Fully stepped on with a spike. Basically punctured through my cleats and into my toes, Toe. And my toe has just been absolutely throbbing all day.

The worst.

Is it bleeding?

It was bleeding last night. It's not. It wasn't bleeding today.

How'd you get stepped on?

Show feet.

It was like. It was. I was playing first base. Memes was playing catcher. There's, you know, play it, play it first. Little bit, a little bit high. I jumped up, and when I came down, it was a bang, bang play.

Nothing.

The runner didn't do anything wrong, but my foot came down at the same time as the runner was running and.

And just see the toesies. I'm sorry, Hank, if you think that.

If the throw was there, would you have been okay? If the throw had been good, would you have been okay?

Yeah. You got stepped on pretty good. Did memes do something to screw you over?

No, no.

It was.

That's.

That's the game.

The ball slipped out of my hand, and I just immediately went, oh, no. And it went 10ft over his head. So he had to jump, come down, and the camera kid went full speed into Hank. Yeah. And I then gave him a speech like a disappointed father.

I launched it.

I was like. I was like, fundamental baseball, dude. That's what I said. To him, like, literally after he threw the ball, it's like fundamental baseball. He threw behind two runners with one out. There was a guy on second and third. Both scored.

Oh, no.

And then that. Then that led to, like, seven other runs. We were the Bad News Bears. We were the Bad News Bears. Bears. So the other team kicked our ass. But, Hank, you're gonna be okay. You're gonna make it through Oasis.

Yeah, I mean, it's gonna be.

You know, we're gonna have to battle.

Are you gonna sing to all the songs?

Not all the songs. I think I. I've seen a set list. I think the last, like, 10. 10 or so. I'm not like a. I don't know. I'm going with Robbie Fox. I think he's gonna be singing every single lyric to every single song. I'm excited for the. You know, the last, like, 10.

What's your favorite song?

My favorite song, probably Masterpiece playing. Oh, Master Plan. Don't Look Back in Anger.

Nice.

I'm. I'm fired up.

It's gonna be awesome.

80, 000 people singing these songs. It's gonna be.

It's gonna be biblical. And you're gonna be in a football stadium.

Football stadium.

You're gonna be as close to football. As much as you love football, you're gonna be there. Yeah. Okay. Pft.

Bucket hat, Hank. Bucket hat.

It.

Can I. Instead of Fire fest of the week, can I do Jordana the week?

Sure.

It's the same Jordan that it's always been. Did you know that would be great.

If it was different?

No, it's. It's the same Jordan. She's putting up a dynasty right now. We also. We screwed up by not talking with Tom and Brandon at all about Bill Belichick at unc, which would be a very interesting thing. Thing to follow. Jordan and Bill have trademarked the phrase gold digger. I thought that was interesting that they did that.

Very interesting.

Why do you think they did that?

I don't know.

Hank, do you know why they. Why would.

Can you even. Can you trademark that?

Yeah, they did.

No, they tried to. Did they officially do it?

I don't know.

File for trademark? I don't think you can just. I think. I don't think you can trademark a phrase like this. Can you?

It's. Yeah. I mean, Kanye probably owns it.

It's very well known.

He's not getting along well with his lawyers, though.

No.

Okay, so shout out to Jordan. She's got a number of. Of things that she's filed for. They're just they're being very industrious. Jordan's looking out for. For the future of her maybe husband.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I feel like husband is coming soon.

I think they might be secret married.

Is this. Is this your addiction to secret.

Yeah.

Agreements.

Yeah, Secret agreements. I. I mean, Travis and Taylor were secret engaged for a couple weeks.

Weeks.

Terry signed the secret extension. I think maybe they're secretly married. Be classic Belichick.

Would be classic Belichick.

My other fire fest of the week is just that I lost three laptops within the span of about 30 hours. How. All right, so I have my original laptop back from 2016 that I got when we started. Part of my take. That's what I mean. That's what I've been using. Even though Pete's tried to give me new laptops before, I'm like. I kind of like my old one. I like the keys.

Yeah. Whose laptop is. Exist.

All right, so I'll get to that.

I just noticed the stickers.

I'll get to that in a second. And I took that on the road with me and I left it in the hotel. In New York City.

Yeah.

On. On Friday. And I was already out of the city when I realized that I left that I left the laptop behind. I didn't really feel like calling the place and then having them ship it back to me because it's. And it also is a bad laptop now. It doesn't really work that well. So I just.

Whoa, whoa. Breaking moves. The Cowboys traded Micah. Oh, Micah Parsons. Is this real?

Yeah, it's real.

Micah Parsons to the green. Do you see how I thought it was fake? Because Schefter said Cowboys are trading three time all pro. Micah packers to the Green Bay Packers.

Yeah. They reached an agreement on a four year $188 million.

That's bad.

I'm very happy.

I am not happy.

I'm extremely happy. Great. Hey, great deal by Jerry Jones. Probably getting a haul back from that. Rebuild the entire franchise. Let's see what. What are they being. What are they trying to trade him for?

This is bad.

Highest paid non quarterback in NFL history.

This is bad.

This is a great, great trade by Jerry Jones.

This is bad.

He's done it again.

God damn it. How do you let the packers get them?

Packers got fleeced. This is awesome. Great job, Jerry.

At least you said.

Yeah. A great trade by Jerry Jones. How many picks I want to encourage this type of activity from him. We don't know yet.

And you know what's worse is I saw a tweet earlier today that was like Michael Parsons just started following Caleb Williams.

Like, literally.

Yeah, no, I. That was. Now it makes sense in the bad way way.

So he knew where he was going to go and he started following all the ops.

Yeah. God damn it. All right. Processing, processing, processing. Processed bad.

Processed great.

You know what? They probably overpaid. That's what I'm going to say. They don't have any first round picks for the next infinity. Yeah, yeah. This is bad. This is bad. Okay. All right. Yeah, that's fine. We're fine.

Pick out. You have far fest fine.

Yeah, mine was gonna be that my daughter started watching K pop show that's on Netflix now. And I want to kill myself. But now Michael Parson is a packer and I really want to kill myself. All right, back to the computers. God damn it. How many picks? Tell me how many picks?

I have a question.

How many fucking picks?

Do you think it's a possibility that Jerry talked to Nico?

Maybe.

Maybe Nico. I got a question about how to handle this guy.

Fuck Nico.

How I handle this.

I haven't said it in a while.

There's a little rascal here.

Oh, dude. 1. That's so much money. Wait, Parson has done. And that's only two first rounders. Why wasn't it three? You know what? I'm just going to. I'm going to just go. I'm just going to go with packers fleeced and just mute that tweet, Right?

Yeah.

Okay. Packers fleeced. Does everyone feel like that's a good cope?

No. That was my initial reaction because I want to encourage Jerry Jones to keep doing this stuff.

All right, Everyone. Everyone agree? Memes. You cool with that? That's good. Yeah. I'm shocked.

Why?

I don't know why you would trade.

Him in the nfc.

Yeah. And also, like, he's really fucking good and he's 26 years old and he's going to be really good for a while. And now these first round picks are probably going to be late round picks.

I want to know what other teams reached out because if it's just two first round picks, I feel like other teams would have offered that. Right.

All right, I'm gonna. Do you know what? I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go all caps fleeced. What do you guys think about that? Mm. And then I'm gonna follow it up with saying, yes, this is a cope. And then I'm gonna mute the whole thing.

This is crazy.

First. So it stands. All right, you got our live reaction. That's my firefighter Fest. And also the K Pop stuff.

The K Pop stuff. It sounds tough.

It's tough.

Aaron was telling me about that yesterday. It's. It's his biggest enemy. It's.

I don't know why Netflix did that. They did it to all of us with children. Children. There's just a K pop animated show that is now. What is it called? It's K pop All Stars or something. I don't know.

It's.

It's. Oh, K pop Demon Hunters. That's it.

Yeah.

Hank, talk. I have the hiccups.

Damn.

This is Michael Parsons. The packers gave me the hiccups.

Michael Parsons, luka Doncic, both 26 years old, both traded away from Dallas.

Tough.

That's wild.

Tough for Dallas.

I feel like you always are gonna suck.

If you're Jerry Jones, you should probably want to trade him out of the conference.

You want to trade him out of the NFL?

Yeah.

We really could have used Micah Parsons on the Bears. Really could have used them. Really could have used them. Okay.

I feel like every team should have been calling about him.

Yeah. He's 26 years old. I said three first rounders. No problem. It was. It was a conversation we had when this first started, when people were like, we should do the Khalil Mack thing again. Cleo Mack was good. Cleo Mack was the right move. It was the quarterback that didn't progress in the right timeline line. When you can get a player that is this good and this young, like, ask yourself this. And now I'm defending the packers, but will there be a player in the next two drafts in the, call it 15 to 25 range where the packers are most likely to be picking that will be better than Micah Parsons. The answer is no.

I got to see what Skip Bayless has to say.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Let's look this up real quick. Come on, Skip.

Yeah. All right. Our good friend Tom Fenelli is texting me. He said, fuck. So there we go. We're on the same page. Okay, back to the laptops, please. Just tell me about your laptops. Let's think about something else.

Okay, back to the laptops. So I leave one in the hotel room in New York. It's been. I've had that laptop for the last nine years, so it's not really working that great. Leave it there. Then I'm just like, you know what? Maybe it's just meant to stay there. Maybe this is a good way for me to just move on from that laptop. Laptop. Clean break. So I just don't inquire about the laptop?

Yep.

I think to myself, I've got another laptop that I've used from time to time back at the office.

Okay.

Come back to the office. I don't know where the laptop is. I don't know where I put it. Sometime in the last two weeks, I've misplaced that laptop. Then I've got a third laptop. So I'm like, okay, I've got one at home. I can bring that in. I'll bring it in. Go to a gas station on the way in, get out, walk inside. And while I'm inside, somebody steals my laptop.

What?

Yeah. Didn't realize somebody stole it until.

Just leave it sitting on, like, the front seat.

It may have been very visible. I don't like to lock the El Camino.

Yeah.

Can you lock the elk?

Yeah, it's. Yes, you can lock the El Camino. Good question. Hey, you have to. You have to lean over and press the thing down.

Oh. And you can't reach.

And then. That's not what I meant by. It's just a pain in the ass. I can. I have a wand that I use for my car. Locking wand. And so I know exactly who stole my laptop. The problem.

Oh, because you have the tracking.

No. Oh. The problem with me knowing exactly who stole my laptop is I don't want to describe the person to anybody because the person looks exactly like me.

Oh.

The guy was inside the gas station in front of me trying to return a phone charger. At least the case to a phone charger charger that he had removed and tried to return it to get, like, 15 bucks cash.

Yeah.

From the cashier. And she was like, no, I can't take this back. You very clearly just stole the thing out of it. Now you're trying to get money out of it.

Right.

This guy was not. He was not there for any good reason.

Right.

And he looked exactly like me. And so I can't be like, yeah, be on the lookout for me. For me. A white guy, Approximately, close to 6ft tall, mustache, glasses, long hair. That's. That's your man. I can't describe that guy to anybody.

So whose laptop is this?

So this is a laptop that Pete gave me.

Okay.

To do streaming on. Probably a lot of come on back in 2020. The keys are very sticky, and nothing is saved on this, so I'm having to log out. Log back into everything. So we're making do on this. This is an away game, but I think this is now my laptop that I'm going to be using.

Oh, man.

So that's kind of a fire fest.