Transcript of Brand New Dungeons and Dragons With Timm Woods and Nick Turani

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On today's part of my take presented by DraftKings. It is Dungeons and Dragons day. The best one we've ever done. We have our good friend Nick and Tim woods in studio ready to go. We have a brand new story. It is fully encapsulated in this episode. So you don't have to have caught up from where we're at or anything like that. There's no cliffhangers. It's just a new episode with Tim woods again. I honestly think it's the best one we've ever done. We're going to get to that before we do that. Game time. Zach, you look up a game time game. NBA.

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Hey, bomb guy. Patino aws. Martin. Mike. Yeah. Martin. Mike.

Yeah.

Barna. Mike.

Yay.

Barn and Mike.

Yeah. Barna might take me. Welcome to part of my take presented by DraftKings. The crown is yours. Today is February 13th and it is time for Dungeons and Dragons. So let's do it. Let's kick it to ourselves in studio with Tim woods, our good friend Nick Tyranny. And let's go into the Dungeons and Dragons world. Okay. It is Time. Welcome back. It is Dungeons and Dragons time. You and our. You could hear it right there. You could hear that voice. It is Tim Woods. It is time for Dungeons and Dragons. Tim Woods.

Glad to be here. Thank you.

We're so excited to see you. It's always one of our favorite episodes that we get to do twice a year.

Absolutely.

We. What's up? What's new?

We've got a whole new adventure for you today. I think it's my best one yet. I've been running it for the AWL so they know what's. What the deal is. But I'm very excited for this particular adventure today. 100.

Okay. Any, like big life announcements or anything going on?

I mean, I'll say it's been. Been really cool running games for AWS all year. I am going to be doing a D and D cruise this year.

What? What?

I get miny on that.

They've started doing these D and d cruises called D3 at Sea. Website is D3C.com and they've locked me in like this is not a maybe might do thing. In October, we're going to be going to Alaska and it's a weekly. So if you were already going to Alaska and wanted to do the trip. I know I have family members who have gotten really stoked to do that stuff. I've never done it, so I'm really excited about it. It's going to be a week of D and D with me and you know, obviously the sightseeing and everything, which I can't.

Where's that disembarking from?

Seattle.

Okay.

All right.

And so do you know when tickets are going to go on sale?

Tickets will probably be going on sale up soonish. I'm pretty sure.

I think we got to send some representation.

That sounds like the best time.

100%.

So you're like, are you going to be like a celebrity on this?

I mean, there's lots of really talented Dungeon Masters who are going to be on the cruise.

Tim Woods.

You're Tim Woods. Don't be humble. My first time doing it, so I'm really excited about it. And I'm gonna be in Pennsylvania in just a week running games in a castle. And I just, you know, my website's gonna be, you know, you can, you can see all the, the. I run normal games there. We're still doing after school programs all year like this. So that's been very exciting. And. And if you're in Indianapolis or Orlando or Atlanta, I'm doing conventions there all.

Year as you live a, you live a charmed life.

It's been very cool working with the awls. I got to get to see San Antonio and San Diego this year. Going like running bachelor parties and birthdays and stuff like that. So all thanks to you guys. It's.

That's incredible.

Is that what you wanted to do, like, when you were a kid?

Oh, yeah. I mean, I think since I knew the concept of like doing something that you love for work, I wanted to share D and D with people. So not just getting to run D and D, but thanks to you guys, getting to share it with new people. That was what my passion was and I thought working in schools was my best way to do that. And it has been really rewarding. But, but getting to introduce, like the sports guys teach me more about sports and I teach them about D and D and it's been my favorite, like, arrangement ever.

When you, when we first met you, which was what, 20? 20?

Yeah, absolutely. Almost six years before the pandemic. Even doing our first interviews and stuff.

So it's over six years that we've known you.

I think it's seven years now.

Seven years. So were you when you, when we first met you, were you doing this as a full time job?

I was doing it full time from the moment I met you guys. But it has really changed the trajectory of who I get to run games for. Whereas like before it was either younger groups or like people who know D D really well. My favorite thing is sharing with new people and the number of like, dudes who are just like, I'm a D and D guy now and I'm like, you. Hell. Hell yeah. You are. Absolutely.

We all are D and D guys. We just don't know it yet.

We don't know it. I like to say D and D is the game that everyone has played, even if you only did it when you were a kid and didn't know it was D and D. It is just the game of imagination that we all play and it's the, it is the universal game in many ways.

Yes.

But I've, over the time working with you guys, come to really fall in love with the idea that just sports are games that are so big you can go to any city and see like a dad online watching the game.

Yeah.

That's where I want D and D to be is like that level of like, everyone's into it and you're just into different teams maybe, or different things, aspects of the game. So I really admire sports now in a way that when I first met you guys, I couldn't even get my head around.

And that's awesome.

I want that future for D and D. Yeah.

I love it. I love it. All right.

What I would like to see, like, maybe as a goal, I. Maybe this is a personal goal, but. But something maybe you could think about. Every year they have, like, this guy owes the mentalist that goes into locker rooms to do stuff in the off season for teams. I would like to see Tim woods go into, like, a professional sports locker room and run a D and D thing as a team building.

I don't want to say anything official yet, but I will just throw out there that if anyone's been noticing, the Chiefs recently ran D and D on like. And, like, put it up on social media and stuff. And all I will say right now is I am talking to some team. Wow. That's all I can really say at the moment, I think.

Let's go. The omentalist. Well, you know what? I'm not gonna say it.

What, you think it's fake?

No, like, we used to be a. We used. He did it for us, and I like him. Yeah, no, I. We used to be a proper society. We used to drown those people like witches. Burn them. Like, it's getting a little to the point where it's like, should we throw. Should we throw some rocks at him at the town square?

Well, he's flying too close to the sun recently. He's, like, telling people what their bank codes are.

Yeah, right.

I think he kind of wants to be.

We need to maybe settle this.

Yeah.

Well, remember the kid with, like, Oz mentalist?

He's.

He's the one everyone talks about. He's the one that gets all the pub. But there was just a kid at summer camp.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Two years ago that just like last year, too, showed up, was a high school kid and was literally guessing my PIN number for my atm.

Yeah, no, he was.

And I was like that. If you can do that and other people can do that, that's almost scarier.

Yeah.

Like, they're just living among us.

Maybe we're just idiots and everyone can guess everything we do. All right, let's get into the game.

Absolutely.

Nick is here. Zach is here. Pft. Myself, Hank. Let's go around the room and say what we are. Nick, why don't you start?

Yeah. I'm Greg the Paladin. Happy to be back from last time. I've been knighted. Like Ian McKellen. Or Elton John.

Yes.

Or Prince Andrew.

Yeah, Prince Andrew.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. And I have an. I have a needler from Halo.

Oh, you're a knight.

I'm a knight.

It looks like you just finished a marathon.

Yeah, it looks like a space blanket.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The helmet fits me like a yarmulke, but, no, it's good. Thank you, Zach.

Great job, Zach. Zach picked them all out. All right, go ahead, Zach.

I'm trade one, the human cleric.

What is your name?

Trade win.

Trade win. That's right.

Trade. When I just want to say was the name that Zach had to come up with in five seconds or less. It was a great name. Great name for being on the spot.

Five seconds to change the name. If you'd like to.

I would like to. I would like to stay. Trade one if that's cool.

Okay, great.

Let's go.

You almost switched there.

Are you sure?

It'd be disingenuous if I changed now. We built such a. We went to battle, boys.

War. Yeah.

We went to war.

Yeah.

Okay.

Final. Final chance to change J.

Car.

Something really cool.

Three, two. I'm in.

Ninja this time. Can I be silent trade?

Win.

Silent, silent trade.

So are you going to talk?

Yeah, I'm moving. I'm moving. Stealth, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Super stealth. Like, really, like, light on my feet.

Yeah. Silent trade wind.

Silent trade wind. I'll also say if you want to swap classes from Storm Cleric, because I made you a Storm Cleric last time to honor your sharknado, which I know you're really excited about, I. I do want to say if you want to switch to a rogue to be a ninja, you just let me know. But either way, I'm gonna say you got stealth, no problem.

Sounds. Would you go rogue, Tim?

I. I like clerics a lot. I play a cleric personally. But, hey, rogues are very sneaky, very good at assassinating, and very often their teammates don't know what they're up to, is what I will say.

I go cleric.

Cleric. You're sticking with me?

I'll lock it in.

I love it 100%. I didn't have a rogue sheet, so way to go. Awesome.

I have a question for Tim. Have you been a cleric your whole life, or have you switched roles throughout?

I'll switch different characters, but I have one character that I've played ever since I first started playing D and D with my brother, and he would dungeon master for me, and that's Mox, my dwarven cleric. So he's kind of, like, dear to my heart. And clerics are actually really powerful in this edition, so I Don't mind playing them. It's pretty good. Also, when you're the healer, kind of means everyone has to be nice to you, right? Otherwise they don't get raised from the debt. That's the deal. Good point.

Okay.

I am Wayne the Hill dwarf bard. And I am dressed as Aladdin with a Glock.

Nice.

I think Zach did a good job with his costume.

I'm glad you. It looks good on you, Peter.

It fits you well. Yeah.

Thank you.

I appreciate it. No, Zach knocked it out of the park. I'm hearing he was decisive at the costume store.

That was what we were trying to do.

Quick trip.

We wanted to just make sure, get in, get established, get sizes, get fitted.

Well, I think what you did differently this time was you. You bought, like, full costumes for people instead of just buying a shirt. And then, like, oh, I think these pants go with this shirt.

We may have tried to get too customizable last time with pieces. Now we put together full outfits. I'm glad it fits you good.

It looks great. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. All right, so I'm Norm, the human barbarian. I'd actually like to change my name.

Yeah, Abs, certainly.

Okay. Captain Planet with Yoda.

You're Obi Wan.

Obi Wan. Obi Wan. So you Obi Wan, Captain Planet with an ak.

Obiwan.

Obi.

Recycling.

Yeah. And I, you know, I'm. I. I was watching some, like, attitude era wwe and I was seeing all, like, the storylines, and I was thinking, like, we need, like, a Kane Undertaker storyline. So I would like to be loud trade wind, parentheses, his half brother.

Loud trade with. Yeah, yeah. So we have a silent trade wind.

And Loud trade wind, his half brother.

Absolute half.

You thought I wasn't alive.

Noting, but I am.

So back. You're a human cleric. You're a barbarian. Yeah. Which parent do you share?

Oh, the barbarian side.

Absolutely.

That's mom or dad.

That mom was a barbarian.

Yeah.

And dad was a human.

100%.

Did you know your mom was a barbarian?

I haven't asked her too many questions.

Actually, her. Her name was Barb the Barbarian.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But were you raised by your dad or your mom?

We were raised by wolves. Okay.

Why didn't you ever tell us that, Zach Trade went well?

I actually don't know. No, we were so. We were. I was raised by wolves. Zach is a mama's boy. He was raised by Barb the Barbarian.

You must resent him a lot.

A lot. Barb the Barbarian couldn't stand the sight of me.

Barb. Barb's good to me. You became the barbarian.

I became the barbarian. He became the cleric.

You were too loud as.

Yeah.

So actually, Barb is not a barbarian. She's a cleric. She threw me out. My father is a barbarian. I never met my father. She threw me out because she's like, this is not. This. This. This boy is too big. And I was raised in loud as loud trade wind. And then I was raised by wolves. And Zach doesn't know I exist, but he will.

Don't make me go get Barb.

Absolutely.

Barb the cleric.

I'll get her.

Yeah. She's not so tough now that she's a cleric.

You're underestimated.

You come from pussy stock.

I come from barbarian Underestimating cleric. Okay, I'll get Barb right now.

It's a good storyline.

I'll get it.

This is classic D and D character drama. I'm a fan.

I love it.

I support this. Can you take that test that you have? Eyeball? Yes.

It's making noise.

It's green.

Oh, wow.

Keep this all in. Just so we're clear, Silent Tradewin has been cucked by the producers. The minute he finds out he has a barbarian half brother raised by wolves.

You look like gold dust now.

One of the street performers who say still.

Yeah, that's right.

A still man.

No.

Good producing by Max, though.

Yeah, Great producer by max. Took like 25 minutes.

That was Shane.

Good job, Max.

Good job, Shane. Bolt up.

Okay.

And I'm Erlich the. No, Morlock. I got the. The body of a Duke. I'm Indiana. I'm Indiana Duke.

That's great.

Indiana Jones. Yeah, I'm Indiana Jones. Duke Hanging dong. Ready to go?

Absolutely.

Jones.

Did you know that you were doing the. The actual signetti?

Yeah, that's totally.

I like that.

Thank you, Zach. That's actually Zach's call. Yeah, good call.

You're. And is that your tail or your penis?

Penis.

Oh, that is. That's a huge penis.

Whip it out real quick. Let's see it back, bro.

Around.

I also. I have two needles.

Oh.

A needler. And a needle.

That's almost inconvenient. It's so big.

That's right.

Round an awesome Albert. That's how.

That's how signity rolls.

Yeah. That's making me uncomfortable. Okay.

It's.

It's prehensile nature that throws me off. Absolutely.

I don't know what that word means.

It's flexible. Too flexible, one might argue. Absolutely. But obviously our characters making a big return right now, especially given that we had defeated at the end of last session, a mighty red dragon, the dragon of Mount Speartop. We are very much coming off of a win. And since we can all agree on how that would make us feel coming off of a win, I think everyone's on the same page on that. We would all feel a particular way. You can feel that way, of course, that you are victorious from your last adventure. I wanted to make sure that Zach, we knew that you had been forced to play a level two character last time. You are now going to be level six, same as everybody else.

That's huge.

And if we win the adventure today, we will all be dinging level 7. I haven't leveled us up in a really long time in this campaign. So we will be dinging level 7 100%.

We get like a belt or anything.

I mean, you get more abilities, you get points. You get all kinds of new abilities that we kind of like haven't gotten yet. So coming off of a win. It has been a big adventure. And we are arriving at a major city. Kind of. Our boat is going to be pulling up at the city of Waterdeep. We haven't done a lot of adventures in cities yet. This will be our first adventure. We are in a major metropolis. It's kind of like the huge sprawling la almost of Faerun is the city of Waterdeep. Each district of the city could be its own city by rights. And even in a big city like this, when we pull up, we should be hailed as heroes. Having slain the dragon last time, having gone on all these other adventures previously, we should be in the top 10 group of heroes in this city. Even a big city like this, we should at least be top 100. But we are finding out that as we are arriving in the city of Waterdeep, we have not gotten credit because another group of adventurers has been going around claiming credit loss and our exploits adventure.

We are going to be fighting a group of evil adventurers who have been selected by me as your rivals. And they have been going around telling everyone that the dragon we all killed. No problem. We did that. You're welcome. They call themselves the Doom Raiders, which, let's just establish, not a cool name. We could probably do a lot better, but we haven't ever named our adventuring party yet. I just want to highlight a few names of famous adventuring parties. These are all AWL groups, by the way. And every one of these is in the top 100 adventures that we should be in. We've got the high rollers of Bundleton Shout out the New Dragons. The Wandering Flame, The Regulators. The Worst Boys of San Antonio. Chis Octabox the hero. He's been waiting for a call out for about three years now. Sorry. Chis Octabox, the Dick Takers. The Rock Hard Doom Raiders, who have been recently promoted to the Rock Hard Doom Raiders that finish. So call out to the Rock Hard Doom Raiders that finish. But all of these adventuring parties have earned their esteem. Our adventuring party has been robbed of their glory by these Doom Raiders.

Now, while we're cooking on a team name, I will just introduce the Doom Raiders real quick. We have five mighty heroes here, but these are my heroes. First up, we've got Davil Star Song. They're bard, so they have an evil bard in this group. And Dabble Star Song is unfortunately a little bit of a pretty boy. He's an elven bard. Dwarven bards do it for love of the music. This guy is clearly like a pop star wannabe celebrity type. And so Dabble Star Song, Real jerk. We've got Istred Horn, who is the moneybags of the operation. She is a cleric, actually, but she's a cleric not of the storm, but a cleric of greed. And so coins are her religion and she goes around kind of like tricking people into giving her money. Sometimes she'll like get somebody to buy her like a VIP room and then invite a bunch of thugs or something like that. It's all kinds of shenanigans the Doom Raiders are up to. They're not well loved in this city and so they get up to a lot of mischief. There's Schema Weird Bottle who is a gnomish wizard. Schema Weird Bottle is the spellcaster, the brains of, and as a gnome, he is very much a rival to any other gnomes who try to master magic.

Wizards have to study magic the hard way. Just want to highlight. Warlocks make deals with demons in order to get magic the cheap and easy way. So wizards have a big bone to pick when it comes to warlocks. But warlocks are just kind of like, get good. I don't know what to tell you.

We're enemies. I feel like I already respect this guy Absolutely.

100. I don't trust you at all.

I mean, listen to that name. How can you not?

Schema Weird Bottle. I didn't pick these names. Also, these are all in D and D, so credit where credit's due. Schema Weird Bottle. One of my favorite names of all time.

Yeah. No. Hank feels like he's going to drop us and team up with this guy feels that way.

Your ski guy.

I feel like we should try and get ski mode arcu. She said, he said he's the brains of the operations.

Okay.

Absolutely.

We can cut them at their core.

Next up, we've got the muscle of the Doom Raider operation. We've got Tashira Tif. A little bit of a muscle mommy. A little bit tough, a little bit, like, able to swing a sword and wear some good armor. She has a lot of hit points. That's what makes her dangerous. But she's also a member of the City Watch. She is a corrupt member of the City Watch, which means if we go up and just start punching her in the face, even the non corrupt members of the City Watch are going to be like, I'm sorry, you can't be doing that. We have to like hold the line, as it were. So dealing with Tasha Nafira is going to be a little difficult. We have to be strategic. And how we deal with.

She looks like just scoop me up and toss me around.

She certainly could. 100%. Any fighters or paladins in our group would have their work cut out for them dealing with Tasha Nira. But that also goes for any barbarian. It's said that she could toe to toe I back to blue one of us. So it's true. Absolutely, 100%. Maybe you want to team up with her. Absolutely, 100%.

Okay.

And that leads to the fifth final and arguably most dangerous of all the Doom Raiders. This is Ziraj the hunter. And the dangerous thing about Ziraj is he will usually find you before you find him. He's very stealthy. He moves across the rooftops of the city. And most people don't know Ziraj is there until they see Ziraj's target get an arrow right through the chest. He's very much like Lurtz, the guy who kills a certain character, let's just say in Fellowship of the Ring. And he is a deadly archer. He's also a paladin, which means that Ziraj has the power to smite with his bow, making him extra dangerous. If there's anyone on this team who could one shot one of us, it would be zero. So we got to watch out for him.

Unfortunately, he's Barry Pepper from Saving Private Ryan.

He's next to him.

Yeah, absolutely. He's very much a sniper character. Absolutely.

Okay, now these guys, they're taking credit for what we did.

100%. They're going around telling everyone you're welcome for us killing that dragon. And people are like, you killed the dragon. They're like, we certainly did. Now, other adventuring parties have gotten their credit stolen by the Doom Raiders, and they have confronted the Doom Raiders even. But anyone who's done that, he's either gone missing or turned up dead. So you can definitely go and try to talk with the Doom Raiders if you want. But it's pretty obvious they're not just evil adventurers. They're like a crime syndicate in this city. They're the crime lords who run things in this city, and they do not play fair. If people try to, like, confront them about their ill deeds, they end up just disappearing. So the name of this adventure is not, go talk to the Doom raiders and work it out peacefully. The name of this adventure is the Doom Raiders must die. And within this adventure, you're gonna have to kill all five of them. And if you start picking them off, I start rolling to see if the other doom raiders catch on to what's going on. But we won't have time to rest. So whatever hit points and spell slots we have, we're gonna have to get all five doom raiders with just those resources.

All right, so we need a name.

We do need a name for our adventuring party. We have never gotten a name for our adventuring party. So this is a big decision is what I got to say. It's a team name.

Off the top of my head, maybe same five.

Same five.

All right.

I was thinking, too, we could do a little confusion. We could be the Boom raiders. Hit him with the double chunk chocolate chip.

Yeah, we could be the.

What if we throw them off our scent and we're five Chinese women?

I like that. I was thinking we also could, like, become. Yeah, like, five Chinese women. I was thinking we could also throw them off the scent and be like the boy whisperers.

Oh, I don't mind that at all.

Something like that where it's like, who's gonna. Like, what do we care about the boy whisperers? I like five Chinese women. Five Chinese boy whisperers.

That could work. Yeah, that could work, but female.

Female boy whisperers.

Female Chinese boy whisperers.

What if it was. What if it was six female Chinese?

Oh, they'll always be looking.

Yeah, yeah.

And you label 1, 2, 4, 5, 6.

Yeah.

For three. Absolutely.

Okay, so what are we that's gonna throw?

They're not gonna have a clue.

Six female Chinese boy whispers.

I love.

I love.

People hear that name, and they go running for the hills.

Never a name that instills fear. Absolutely. Six female Chinese boy whisperers is our adventuring party.

FCBW.

It's almost like a stereotypical name. Absolutely. 100%.

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Now it's up to us how we want to deal with the Doom Raiders. We can gather them all in one place and spring an ambush. We can eliminate them one by one. What I will warn is individually, the numerators might be stronger than us. So working as a team might be a good idea. Then again, we can do whatever we want. It's up to us.

Question.

Yeah.

How could individually they're better than 1v5?

Well, no, exactly right. If we're 1v5, if there's one of them and five of us will win that no problem. But if we go one on one with them, then we might be in for some more trouble.

Okay, so I.

What about two on one then?

I'd say the odds are in your favor. Probably. They're not that much higher level than you.

I think we got to figure out which one is going to. If we take one of them or kill one of them, what's going to like alert the other ones the most?

Right.

What's going to alert the other ones the least?

So Tim, could you just give us like a quick rundown bullet points? The five different characters we got absolutely 100%.

You got dabble, Star Song, he's the face of the operation, so we don't.

Want to go for. Let's forget that.

And he. The danger is has mind control magic. You got to keep in mind there about bards. You've got Istred Horn. She's the money bags. And she. Wherever she is, she'll have their money as well. And she otherwise is a healer. So if she links up with the other doom raiders, just like our storm cleric, she can heal them, making them all very powerful.

If she's might follow the money.

But hold on. But if they don't have any money, they're going to be like, where's our.

Money, Schema Weird bottle is when it comes to hit points because he's a wizard. Wizards don't really have that many hit points or strong defenses. In theory. If we're gonna try to one shot kill one of the doom raiders, he's the most likely to go down in a single round.

So he'll be.

I don't really love him, but okay.

Perfect.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

What's going on with Hank? Hank has been like wanting put your penis away first. Yeah.

Every giant is distracting.

We're trying to figure this thing out and you're saying we want to keep Schemo alive?

Every time Tim talks about a good guy, let's keep him around.

We got to trust this dude named Schema, bro.

We're the female Chinese boy whisperer. Start acting like it. Six of us start acting like it. I was all right. They don't like him. And he's also the easiest to kill.

He's the easiest to kill from the standpoint of if you get the jump on him, he has the least hit points. But if he gets a turn, he's smart. And that means he will not, even if he doesn't know he's outnumbered, stick around for a fight. He would much rather use magic to escape. And if he gets the chance, he will go and alert all the other doom raiders that they are under attack right now. So it's a high risk, high reward.

Thanks, boyfriend. Okay.

Okay.

Now the toughest two are Ziraj and Tashlin. They both have a ton of hit points. Zhiraj is particularly hard to find. And we'll start getting riled up as we pick off the doom raiders. That's when he might show up to back them up. Tashlin is hanging out with the city watch so we know where she is. But she also has a lot of hit points and will be tough to. To take down.

And if you. You can't kill a cop, you kill a cop. Coming for you.

Five stars.

Yeah, that's second to last guy. We got to kill him because he's. He hides in the shadow so they won't even know he's gone.

Yeah, but he just said that if we kill. If we kill one of the other two, he'll come out of the shadow.

You don't want us to.

That's why we got to kill him first.

How do we find him? He's in the shadows.

We got everyone look at.

Everyone look at.

But if you get the jump on him, you eliminate.

We should commit a crime so she comes to us.

No, but I'm saying. Ok so just hear me out. I think that. I think it's down to two. I think we either got to kill emo but the risk is he can run away and tell everybody and tell everyone or this guy seems like he's never around. So if he. We kill him. They won't even know that he's dead.

But how do we.

We can't find them.

But tell us how to find everyone. Look at your.

Your skills. See if somebody has something.

That's a very good point. You use skills to try to maybe locate people who. We don't know where they are. Keep in mind the doom raiders don't know we're coming yet. They know they've ripped off a lot of adventuring parties. If they see heroes, they might get a little worried, but they're not going to be like that's. The guy trying to kill me. So we have time to gather information.

Before he seems like the biggest loner of the group. So if we pitch it, pick him off, and he's the hardest. One of the hardest to kill. So if we kill off one of the hardest to kill, who's a loner, the other four are not going to have. They're going to be like, oh, where's our fucking sniper, dude? Aha. We killed him first, idiots.

And how old that we're not going to have time to heal, right?

Correct.

How would you draw out a sniper? How would you.

Yeah, that's what we have to ask Tim for.

How would you attract a sniper to. To come try to find.

I got an idea.

We kill the. We kill someone else first, and then he comes to defend them. And then we kill him.

You want to get sniped?

Well, he said we could one shot, potentially schemo.

Without like one of the other people. What about the girl?

What if we get silent, trade wind naked, cover them in honey and have them run through the town square. You think the sniper.

That would make the town watch come get him?

He's. But he's. He's sneaky. That would be so. That would be so abrupt and so naked that he. It would be my startle.

Yeah, true, true, true, true.

With that much honey, what if we.

Painted a target on Hank's back and had Hank, like with a bullseye on?

Might be.

So if he's bored, he might want to do target.

Let's put an apple on Hank's head.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Because it's an archer.

Yeah.

Why don't we do it on Zach's head? You know mom didn't love you.

That's what she told you. We got different combos for mom. Our group chats look vastly different. She texted holidays. Did she text you this morning?

She's not.

I gotta love you, son.

Have a good day. Have fun catching the Doom Raiders. Yep.

Be safe.

Be safe. Don't, don't. Don't let loud trade winds cover you in, honey. And have you run naked down the street.

He always does that.

Tim, I have a question. These guys, the five that we're going up against, the Doom Raiders, do they have a current mission or a target or an enemy that they're actively looking for?

Not that we know of. But if you were to look around and ask ground, you might be able to find out what they're interested in, what they might be up to right now, potentially.

Okay.

You as a bard, would be uniquely Suited for that, since you have a persuasion. That would be the skill for gathering information from the locals in Waterdeep.

I think we got to figure out what our strategy is going to be. Is it either one, try to draw them out or two, try to pick them off one by one without alerting the other ones? I think we got to try to pick them off. Right.

It's the smart move, I think.

And then eventually we get. When we have the numbers on our side, then we can draw out the other one.

I have a third strategy. I agree. I like that second one, I think better. We could. We could also try to find out who they're currently beefing with.

Yeah.

And then do a fake alliance with that group. And so now we double the size of our true team. And we could team up against the Doom Raiders.

Or we kill someone in that group.

And then blame Doom Raiders. I love that, Hank. Sorry, Ehrlich.

So, yeah, we start a. We start a war.

We start a war and let them just fight. Kill each other.

But we need to plant evidence on the person we kill. Should we find one of the Doom Raiders, take something from them without killing them.

Oh, I got it. What if we get. What if we kill one of the rival gangs? Okay. And cover them in honey. And they'll be like, oh, that must have been silent. Silent trade wind.

That's what we don't want.

That's his calling card.

Oh, yeah, that's right. That's what we don't want. Shit.

We need to find one of these guys. Hangouts.

They're so we.

Oh, we. Do we have any money on us?

You certainly have money. Yeah.

You just kill one of them and give in and. And put. Put some money on them and be like, oh, no, that wouldn't work.

Do we know anything that they. These guys the Doom Raiders carry around? Do they have like, anything that identifies them?

Yeah, they've. They've got like, little like, amulets and stuff that are unique. Their weapons are unique to them. Bits of their armor would be unique to them for sure.

What about. Is there a rival group that has anything that we. That of note?

There are definitely rival gangs. You definitely already know about one gang called the Xanathar's Guild, who is the local thieves guild of Waterdeep. Apparently the Doom Raiders have encroached into their territory. So you do know they have rivals.

So the. They are. What. What's their, like, calling card?

The Xanathar's Guild, the rivals. It's a. A circular symbol with ten lines coming off of it like a ten pointed star almost.

Okay, so maybe we kill Schemo and then put that 10 thing on him.

It would make all the Doom Raiders really mad at the Xanar maybe go.

Right.

Yeah. We even like, like tracing the dirt around them.

Right. Because I think we got to kill one of the doom Raiders.

Yeah.

And then pin it on the rival Xanathar's guys.

Yeah. That's a good idea.

Not a bad idea at all.

No.

What if we ever need.

I just think if we're gonna do it and we do Schemo, it's like all the. They all hate him. So like, they're not gonna be mad he's dead.

They're gonna be.

They're not gonna go to war for scheme.

So then who should we kill?

The girl?

Or. Or do we kill the money guy and rob him of all the money?

That's chemo. Just to do it it.

Yeah, let's just do it.

What about the. What about the money guy? Because then if we rob him, the money, it's like, well, this was clearly a robbery.

What if we leave?

We don't want them to think it was.

What if we leave?

Want them to think that it was. It was rival.

We could do. We could do the circle thing and then be like, yeah, they robbed him of his money. Because the circle guys, they like money.

Yes. Santa's Guild probably of any target would want to go after the money.

What if we hot swap and leave them with fake money and they don't know their money's gone until they go to use it?

I like the idea of killing Schema, leaving a calling card behind, pinning it on somebody else. Because schema seems like an easy target.

Yeah.

And we want to get a practice kill under a belt.

Right?

Right.

Yeah. We need a chip also.

Can't one of us do. Can't one of us, like morph into a different character?

That was the Druid who is no longer in the group right now.

God damn it. Max, you up? Okay?

Yeah.

You could.

You could always call in Hippo Maximus if you want to.

I think we. I think we. I think we kill Schemo.

Yeah, I agree.

And then we carve into his forehead the circle thing. Thingamajig.

Yeah. Something you'll never be able to take off.

Right.

Right.

I'll even say that if. If Max gives the thumbs up, I will let Hippo Maximus come in to do a move. I certainly wanted Hippo Maximus to be able to turn into a positivity rabbit. That is an ability that he would have. So if you wanted to do that.

I mean, what. What if we have Hippo Maximus turn into one of the Xanaforce guys and then go kill him Schemo. Because then it's the perfect crotch.

Yeah.

And if. And if Schema survives, he'd be like. Well, it was actually the Xanathars, not the.

The Chinese women.

Women. Boy.

Whispers.

There is six of us now.

Oh, my God.

Absolutely. The secret animal member. Yep.

Okay.

All right.

Do we have a plan?

No.

Okay.

They do feel good about stealing our credibility on slaying the other beast. If we ever need to get them together, we could throw, like, a celebration for them.

Yeah.

Okay.

The city would like to celebrate you as. As. As triumphant soldiers. And then we just ambush. Maybe.

Do we even need to kill him? Can we just be stuff.

Oh, okay, wait. Zach just said something interesting. Okay. Follow.

Follow along.

See if we can follow along here. Because I. I don't even know if I can follow along. Max pretends to be a Xanathor, right? He have him kill Schemo and then do the whole thing where he does a circle thing. Then we take Max and we hand him over to the cop lady. And we're like, we found the guy who killed Schema.

Get the reward.

Yeah. And they're like, oh, thank God. And we also got to get justice. And then we start picking him off. We get. We get the cop lady out, and then we kill her. Yeah, because we're like, here we have your guy come meet us.

We.

We're gonna turn him in, and then we jump.

And that'll be five versus three.

Three. Yeah.

Then we save Max.

No. Max can die.

It would be an honorable death, Max. But we can save you.

Yeah, we could save you. We could try to save you.

We'll do our best. We tried our best.

I like that plan.

All right, let's get to five people. We gotta find this guy.

Absolutely.

We're gonna find Schemo, and then we'll have Hippo Maximus kill him as a Xanathor.

I will also point out it might behoove us to have more than one of us going after Schemo altogether. We can take Schemo down so Hippo Maximus can be in on that. But I'll go after him. I don't know if maximum. I'm happy to the one shot Schema before he escapes.

So should we.

Should we split up and then get back together?

If one of us finds it, that makes complete sense. We could go around gathering information. In theory. I do have to say anyone with persuasion be the best at finding out Schemo's location.

So I'll. I'll kill Schemo.

Because me, I have Persuasion. I can take him.

All right, so the three of us will.

Wait, Hank, how much persuasion do you have?

A lot.

But I got strength.

Plus a. Plus. A bunch.

Plus what?

At least two. Plus.

Okay, I'm plus six, so I should probably.

Oh, yeah, I don't.

Me and pft.

Me and PFT are both two, plus persuasion.

You're.

I don't think that Hank should be alone.

Yeah, no, I'll go with upft, and we'll bring Hippo.

Max, Zach and I will stay with Hank.

Perfect. Okay.

Keep an eye on him. All right. We'll go like that and just put.

A little honey on him.

Okay, we can do that.

Yeah.

I'm gonna pour honey on you.

K.

We do an organic process.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Okay.

It's good stuff.

Okay.

Like farmer's market. Like, straight from the hive. I like that.

All right.

Did your mom not tell you that you're allergic to honey?

Oh, that's right. She did. She did. Take me to the doctor's office and do that allergy test. I don't know if she ever scheduled your appointment.

Every time you eat honey, you can just kind of like whatever indigestion you get, just, like, heal it, basically.

Mama's boy.

Those home cooked meals are different.

I wouldn't know.

Especially around Cleric Day Eating.

I was eating with the wolves.

Cleric Day was sick in a slide.

All right, we got a plan.

Absolutely. And, Wayne, it sounds like you're gonna be trying to find Schemo's location.

Yeah. I'm gonna go with you.

Yeah.

Yeah. So what's up, Hank? Why are you shaking your head?

No, nothing. Sorry.

Yeah, it feels like there's some weird.

I don't know. I don't know if Hank had any, like, insight to this adventure beforehand or if he just out of nowhere developed a random love for this one character, which is probably way weirder.

Are you a cop?

No.

Okay.

Do you have a history with Schema or.

You might have to. What we should do. Pft. Is we should. We should get Schemo, like, on the brink of death and make Hank kill.

Schemo to prove one of us that.

He'S one of us.

Yeah. All right, so who should I talk to?

In this town, you talk to. And there's local taverns you can pop into. There's town square. You would be able to market wherever you want to go.

Are there Any football games going on right now?

There is a gladiator or arena is the main. There's charity.

Check that out.

But there's also might be playing.

Absolutely big matchups.

Yeah. Big matchup. 100 at the Champions arena. You are seeing a big matchup going on right now. Lots of people talking in the crowd. You think you even hear some people talking about the local criminal elements like the doom raiders. You could listen in on conversations with persuasion, but you could chat people up with. Sorry. With perception. If you want to chat people up, that's persuasion. You're better at that.

Yeah, I'd like to chat somebody up. Maybe in. In the tailgate section outside, people are getting loose before the match.

100 people go to.

Yeah. The biggest tent that they got there. I want to go in. I want to find the guy that's running that show and then I want to chat him up.

Absolutely, 100%. There's like a red barb gladiator team and like a lot of guys painted in red and stuff. So you're absolutely able to go talk to them? 100%. Roll me a D20. Plus six.

I think you said plus six.

Yeah, plus six for persuasion. Let's see how this goes.

That's not a good role.

Oh, no. How do we do on our first roll?

It's. Some might say it's the worst that you can do.

Is it a natural one on our first roll? Is that right? Okay. With a natural one, something bad is going to happen. We have started on an exciting split up at the moment. I'm gonna say you are alone, at least in this particular tailgate section. Three times three. Okay. Oh, the dice need to warm up a little bit today. It seems like we're starting a little cold.

What we're not going to do is we're not going to do our own rules just to see what big cat.

Made me or whatever your name is. If we had taken Hank instead.

Trade wind made me.

Where you been now, Wayne?

Call me fat trade wind.

What's your loud trade wind?

Unfortunately, Wayne, with a natural one, it's worse than you not getting information. These tailgaters have gotten really rowdy, unfortunately, and they start challenging whether you really know about their favorite gladiator. And they go, well, do you know his favorite move? And they start spinning this sword above their head and they're really doing the norm. Reckless attack. Right now. Do you want with your bonus action to try to talk these guys down? Do you want to try to run out of here? What would you like to do to try to avoid this guy who's about to swing a sword dangerously close.

Okay.

Can he. Can he do an action where he, like, says something?

Yeah, actually.

See if you can say, are you.

Ready, like, to get a chant going.

Damn right.

Well, I know. Maybe I just start going.

And then.

Everyone just gets distracted with a chant.

I'm gonna ask you to roll performance, but with advantage, because everyone outside of this arena is helping go in on this.

And I got a plus five on performance.

Plus five? Absolutely. Go ahead and roll a D.20 plus five. And you will get an extra. Oh, boy. But. But you have advantage, so that means you roll two times. I rolled a. A2.

I rolled a2.

A2.

Okay. But you're doing twice as good.

Enough. Double. It's getting better. It's getting better.

The Kyle pits of rolls.

You do get one more roll. That's what advantage means. So that was how your chant was going. They're still bearing down upon you, but now the crowd's joining in. Let's see if the crowd helps. I don't want us to die right away. No way.

20.

Let's go. Absolutely. And as these fans are, like, closing in on you with the sword, they're almost getting caught up in the chant. And all of a sudden, from around two different corners, all these tailgaters in face paint come around. They've joined in the chant, and they start almost moshing against the guys who are trying to cause a fight with you. You're getting picked up and carried around in this crowd right now. Wayne, you're a star at the moment, and I'd say with the critical hit, what did you want to do with this opportunity? You could now get people to answer your question.

We're schema.

Yeah.

You could. Yeah, totally.

What if I just said, like. Like, I want to invite up on stage my very good friend Schemo.

Yeah.

Even though you never met him ever.

But to try to draw him out.

Yeah, of course.

And I've got the crowd going, the energy. Like, who doesn't want to get up on that stage right then?

You're right.

I'm gonna roll. Schemo's die with.

Hey, can you put your penis away?

It.

It's weird me out a little bit.

Interesting. Suddenly, as you try to go, I want my friend Schemo to be here right now. I want him to come out and come up on stage with me. And they're almost, like, lifting you up onto the field of the Gladiator arena to this point. You suddenly notice that peeking from around one of the pillars of the stadium in the stands, a little gnomish figure watching very suspiciously right now. Do you wave them over to you.

Or you got to tell them we got free tickets?

You're the winner of the free ticket.

Giveaway for the hippo Maximus has the free tickets. Just got to go right around this corner.

Yeah.

Roll me a deception check real quick.

Okay. Deception check. Is that D20?

D20.

It's a four, Tim.

But I do have a deception bonus. 15 or high. Oh, plus eight. And you said what, number four. Four. I was looking for a 15 or higher. You see Schemo disappear behind the pillar, and just as you think, oh, man, I lost him. He's closer to you and peeking over the seats to look at you, but he won't come up on, like, the stage with you yet. But he's in the stands right now. You have eyes nowhere at the moment. Now I'm gonna roll him into initiative, see when he's gonna go. Okay, noted. So that's 1, 2, 3, 4, and then Schemo's gonna go. We've got more people who get to go before Schemo does. Who would like to go next in that case?

I think Norm.

Well, no, I should.

Together.

Right. For when we get Schemo alone, because then I'll just smash his skull at.

The moment you see him. And I assume you almost signal to anyone else who's there that you can see him, but you're not alone.

I think we gotta get Hippo Maximus to be like, hey, Schema, we gotta got. We got tickets for you, and you're going to be part of the halftime show. Just come with me.

He can try a persuasion check, certainly, but Druids aren't famously good at persuasion, is what I will say.

We need Hank.

We're not.

We're with Hank.

Can.

Hank.

Hank.

How far away?

Yeah, I would say they're all kind of on. And at this stage in the adventure, you could be, like, whistling and calling.

Let's go. Get to work.

All right, D20.

You're going to tell them that we got got.

We got to decide what to do.

Do you have deception, by the way, Hank?

Of course.

You.

You got to tell them we got tickets.

I have intimidation.

You have intimidation.

I have persuasion.

Persuasion is probably the better one.

Investigation.

Yeah. You said you have persuasion plus two or plus three? Plus three. There we go.

All right, tell. Tell him we got tickets and he's going to be part of the halftime show.

Okay, Absolutely. Go ahead and roll me a D, 20 plus 3.

There's no way that works on anybody.

Pretty good number on this.

Come on.

I will say it's 20.

Good.

Oh.

Just fine. He looks at you and you goes, well, I suppose free tickets. Hard to turn that down. Wait a minute. Do I know you? And with a critical hit. He doesn't know who you are. And whatever story you tell him right now, he's gonna believe. Who are you presenting yourself as early?

I'm presenting myself as like, like a high school, college, like friend. Like, kind of like friend of friend, but like, you know, we knew each other 15, 20 years ago.

Wait a minute. Did we go to Blackstaff Academy? Yeah. Wait, are you a wizards? I apologize, not to insult you, but I got kind of warlock vibes. One of those cheaters, those magical hackers who try to get magic the quick and easy way. I apologize for my assumptions. You're a wizard like myself, but we're.

Both warlocks actually, right?

Oh, but he's, he's a wizard, actually. So he views warlocks as being like cheaters.

Almost.

But if you tell him you went to Blackstaff Academy, he'll think you're a wizard like him.

Yep. I had to drop out, but yeah, Apologies.

I think I remember you now from classes. Yes.

Sing, sing the Blackstaff Academy fight song.

Worst fan.

We're wizards.

That was it.

Yeah, all right.

All right.

Absolutely. You, you do. He starts to sing the song with you. Yeah, yeah. You know all the words. Impressive. Impressive. Well, I'm a little concerned because it seems, and he points at the stage, it seems like there's some people who want to get my attention a little bit, you know, I'm a popular guy, you know. That is not true. But he says, I, I suppose they're just maybe fans of my work. I, I, I run a local potion shop here nowadays. I hope things are going just as well for you. It's been quite lucrative, the sort of potions I get involved in, but, you know, it's a business, it's a living. How about yourself?

Can I say I just came from somewhere else. I used to, I worked in potions for a long time and I'm actually looking for work, maybe try and, you know, get a job on the inside.

He kind of smugly says, well, I'm actually looking for more help. I have some very loyal shopkeepers, but they are only two of them right now. And then let's just say I could use ones with a little more skill and proficiency when it comes to potion brewing. I can show you my Shop if you like. Or we can enjoy the show here. What would you prefer?

Let's go to the. No, I gotta convince them for the halftime show, right?

Convince him to come up for the halftime show if you want.

Let's kill him in the shop.

This guy will be alone.

He'll be alone in the shop. Although he's mentioning he has two shopkeepers as well, but that's a lot less people than are in the stadium right now.

So shop.

Yeah, I think we can all finish.

Take me to the candy shop.

Absolutely. He takes you to what is called the City of the Dead district, the graveyard district of Waterdeep. And because you are a warlock, you know this automatically.

There is a. I'm alone right now, right? I'm alone.

You are walking the streets, so not completely alone, but there's long stretches of time when it's just you in Schema for sure. In case there's anything you want to do.

I got you, bro.

It would only be Schema.

I have a bad feeling about that.

I'm with you. I'm. I'm behind you, but I can't be seen.

Got it.

All right, got your back.

It is clear that you know, in the city of the district, necromancy is illegal in this city. And there is a very good reason why Schema would set up a potion shop here. Here he's selling potions to illegal necromancers, you're pretty sure. And as he brings you into this three story tower in the ground level, first thing you get is a little illusory ding. A ling ling goes off. That would have alerted anyone who tried to, let's say, sneak in or anything like that. So, you know, there's an alarm in his shop and you see two guys in plague doctor masks, one stirring a potion cauldron, one's assembling potions behind the the shop counter. And they go, oh, hey Schemo, how's it going? And lift up their mask. He says, whatever, buzz off, guys. And he's very rude to his employees. But you, they have little tattoos that they're not trying to hide from you. Of the winged snake of the Zentorum, the crime syndicate that the Doom Raiders are a part of. They're in on his criminal schemes with him. So Schemo then leads you up the spiral staircase to the second floor, which is all a workshop.

And then he says, I do a lot of my business meetings up here. And he leads you to his bedroom. He said it was for business meetings. He's obviously not trying anything Right now. But you do know notice two balconies that have glass doors leading out to them. They're the only way in or out of this third floor. It seems though, there's windows on the second floor and you're all alone. You could say, like, hey, let's stay downstairs or let's stay in the workshop. But he's completely alone and not with an audio range while he's on the top floor right now. And he says, so let's talk business. Did you want to do anything else in your turner like you've gotten him alone now show up. Should I try attack him right now or try to ra.

No, I don't want to do that yet. I don't want to do that. Yeah, I would like to roll history. I think we. I think we try and try and butter him up as much as we can to get as much information as we need.

I love that. In fact, that would be a persuasion or history check. You could use history because he's very chatty about history. Or arcana. Or you could use persuasion. Whichever is best for you.

You.

I have a lot of persuasion.

Warlocks are usually very charismatic. More charismatic than they are smart.

But I have five plus history.

Oh, damn. Better than I thought. 100%.

What's Arcana?

Arcana is knowledge of magical stuff like potion crafting. That's the main thing you would want to talk about.

All right, so let's do that. Arcana.

I got +5d20 +5, then.

14.

14 +5 is 19 total. Schemo is going to spill at least two solid pieces of information while you're talking to him now. Could be about potions. He would even show you one of his best potions right now. Considering a lot of his potions are not labeled, that might be to your advantage. But you could also ask him for information about the other Doom readers. He starts to mention co workers of his that he has that he doesn't get along with very well, but they're in a different line of business than potions. And he chuckles to himself like he's hinting at the fact that they're criminals. You could ask about the Doom raiders or his potions or whatever you want.

Let's go. Doom raiders. We got to. This guy's going to be dead soon. His potions don't matter.

Absolutely. He kind of mentions people in his organization who are strong, who are smart, who did you. Was there anyone you want to ask about in particular or just ask for a random piece of information that's not.

About the girl, like, what's up with her? She's single.

The. The strong warrior woman or the cleric, who's the money bags of the operation?

Warrior woman.

Warrior woman, absolutely. Goes, oh, Tashlin. Tashlin's such a meathead. She doesn't think at all. She just has a lot of fun fighting people. You know, sometimes she. She's a City Watch member. Yes. And in that sense, she has to act. Act respectable. But off hours, she's always slugging it out. Drinking with the other soldiers, getting in fights with them occasionally, sometimes hooking up with the other members of the City Watch. She gets her own private bedroom in the barracks, from what I understand. So she's somewhat high ranking, but other than that, an easily manipulatable member. That's what I like about her. I get along great with Tashlin because she's easy to trick.

She's probably got really cool handcuffs too, right?

Absolutely. It's true. Yeah, absolutely. Schema doesn't like that, but he knows that there's guardsmen who do.

Do you have another question? Does he have another question?

You certainly do. Yes.

Ask about the guy we can't find, the sniper. Like, where's he hang out?

Okay.

You could ask about it.

Like, we don't know where he is. He's gonna.

I don't think he's gonna know, but let's.

I don't think Schemo.

I guess we can find out.

Absolutely. You ask him about Zeraj in particular.

But, like, how would. Why would I ask about that?

Like, who else? Like, you got any cool snipers?

Yeah, you. You ask about cool snipers?

Yeah, maybe. Maybe. I say, you know, I do potions, but I used to be like, you know, in the military. As a. As a bowman?

Yeah, yeah.

As soon as you see, where can.

I go to train?

Absolutely. He perks up a little bit and goes, well, I know one guy, but you don't want to train with him. He's very, very secretive and, like, completely gives you an opening to ask about, like, what do you mean? It turns out when you ask that question, Schemo knows more than the average bear. But he tells you. All I really know for sure about where this archer lives is, well, I never see him off the rooftops, so I can't say I know exactly where he lives. But I would suggest looking around the rooftops of the tallest buildings in the city, in fact. And he pulls out this map of the city and you see he's circled two locations. He points at a clock tower and A tall warehouse. And he goes. I've whittled it down to where his attacks take place. He must live at one of these two locations. That's the best I can give you. So you've got two possible schema locations. The clock tower and the warehouse. That is by the docks, apparently.

Are we in Texas? That feels like the two most likely places for people in Texas to hide if they're a sniper.

Very possible. Absolutely.

Okay.

Okay. Should. Should I come in?

Yeah.

In theory, that would have been your whole turn. Then Erlux. So good turn. You got some valuable information.

Another quick break from Dungeon and Dragons. Talked about Pepsi. Zach, you are finally up. It is our final Pepsi challenge, and we're doing it. Thank you to Pepsi for sponsoring pepsi. Super Bowl 60 spot brings light to a similar phenomenon of discovery and truth. Truth. The Pepsi paradox. The idea that when labels and bias disappear, cola drinkers prefer the taste of Pepsi. A phenomenon that blind taste tests have repeatedly proven. In the 2025 revival of the Pepsi Challenge, 66% of participants agreed. Pepsi Zero Sugar tastes better than Coca Cola Zero Sugar. Pepsi wins on taste. Sometimes you have to flip your world upside down to discover what's been right there the entire time. Zach, are you ready for the Pepsi challenge?

I'm ready to take the Pepsi challenge today, Big cat.

Okay, so open it up.

I believe what here. Blind taste test. We got two straws up top. Two flavors in the box.

Yup.

And we're going to decide today. I believe one of the cans is Pepsi zero sugar and the other is Coke zero.

Yeah.

So we'll give these a pop.

Yep.

Are we going to go in on can A?

Okay.

I like how you chew it.

Yeah, that was good. That was good. That was really good.

So you get all the flavor.

He's going in for a second sip.

Yep.

Oh, now he's going back to the first.

First.

Double sip.

What do you got back now?

He's going to the second one.

Maybe give a smell, too. He's gonna drink both these colas.

He's doing a really good job of.

Okay, I think I'm going. Final decision here.

Yeah, can be. Okay, now reveal.

All right, let's see here.

Can be.

Which one are you revealing first?

Show us can A. I'll give you can A first. So he's not looking. Can A is. Oh, it's Coke zero sugar. So you. You selected B.

B, which is.

Pepsi zero sugar. There you go.

Good taste.

There you go. Great taste. Go out and try Pepsi zero sugar today. Let your taste decide. And that is The Pepsi is challenge presented by Pepsi. And now we're going back to Tim Woods.

Who would like to go next?

I think I gotta come in. Right?

And there's two guys down there.

Yeah, but they're right. Like they're not.

There are two shopkeepers who seem like pretty weak. Weak. Erlich would have even been able to size up their low level wizards, like so. They're really easy to one shot kill.

Okay.

They're also not.

There's also a balcony.

There's a balcony. So I'm thinking what I got to do is I got to get up.

There Fred Warner style.

We gotta. Oh, I could. Oh, I could. Could I climb?

You could climb.

Good call. Pfd.

Good at that.

I have a giant moth that could take you.

Yeah.

Oh, no.

Or if you want to climb.

No, no. Like a drone to find the, the, the other sniper guy.

Yeah, yeah.

Now keep in mind it's a moth the size of a horse. So it's noticeable, but it can carry people, which is cool. What's cool about.

Okay, so let's get up there. Moth or climb.

It's your call.

Well, the moth would. I have to use a roll on the moth.

The moth would automatically get you up there. But Schemo would know you're there right away. To be fair, your name is Loud Trade Wind. It doesn't sound like you're trying to be stealthy.

So what if we don't go up to the balcony? You go up to the roof above the balcony.

Balcony and then come down.

Yeah.

Okay, that's a good call. So let's do that. I think what I want to do is I want to, I want to tackle Schemo, carve the thing in his forehead and then throw him off the balcony to look like. So it's very public that he was killed. You know what I mean? Everyone's like, oh my God, he got thrown off a balcony.

Absolutely.

And then everyone's like, who did it?

Is the balcony high enough to kill him or do you. Are we going to have to.

Oh, I'm going to beat him to an inch of his life.

Okay. Yeah, yeah.

Won't the other four people then get scared?

Like they might think that he did it himself?

No, we're gonna carve the Xana 4 thing in him. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Frame the Xanathars and they'll direct their attention there.

Okay, so I'm up on the. I'm up on the roof.

This moth silently lands you loud Trade Wind onto formerly Norm. Onto the roof of Schemo's three story tower potion shop. And you can see the balcony right there. Just roll me one D20 and as long as you roll moderately well, you'll be getting the jump on Schema. This is a stealth check, but a much augmented one. How do we do three? Three. Now you have a plus two on this. And the number I was looking for was five or higher. You just barely are getting the jump on Schema. This is very much like getting the 5050 jack. Yeah, you just barely got it. Finally, you are landing on the balcony and Schema was turning in slow motion in your direction. Like. What the. But as you barrel through the wall.

Yep.

You can rage. I'm a rage action.

Yep.

And then you get two, not one, but two attacks. Your first attack can just be wailing on him. And I must ask, does loud trade wind go reckless? Oh, yeah.

You know I will sure not to damage his head. We have to carve it.

Yeah, that's right. I want to. I want to just. Yeah, body.

Yeah, absolutely. Schemo lets out a scream as you come barreling through. Now I'm going to ask you not to roll twice because you're reckless. Roll three times because you're reckless and you're getting surprised.

The Highest of the three.

Highest of the three. Exactly. Right.

19.

Hard to beat that. But let's just see if you get a Natty 20.

10, right.

Two.

Two. Okay, so we'll take the 19 plus whatever is certainly enough. You hit Schemo as hard as you can with your great ax. That is gonna be the D12 then a D12, I believe. Plus. Oh, sorry, Norm. Use a great sword, not a great ax. It's gonna be two D6s. That's even better. You roll the D6 two times and add plus six.

One's not great. Five.

So six plus six is gonna be 12 damage on schemo. This is when you are finding out out. You have just, in a single strike, taken out exactly one third of Schemo's health. Schemo has 24 left out of his 36 hit points. But you get a second attack. Here's the decision you have to make with your second attack. Are you going to hit him again or are you going to pick him up and throw him over the edge?

If I throw him hard enough, can I kill him?

It might be enough from three stories.

Okay.

You would throw him and deal 3d6 damage. The sword would deal two actually. Sorry. It would be 4d6 for throwing him from this story. But if you hit him with the sword, it's 2d6 plus 6.

I think you should attack him again before throwing him. And then we make Hank throw him off.

Yeah, yeah.

And then we carve the thing in his head. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. All right, good call.

So let's go ahead and roll two times now. You've lost the element of surprise, but you're still reckless.

Less six.

Sorry. That's the damage. And I'll take that first six. But roll me the D20 to see if you hit eight. Eight. Roll one more time. You have advantage on this.

Nine.

Ooh. Here's the thing, Norm. With a nine plus seven being a 16, that should hit Schemo. Except as you are swinging towards him, you see him putting up his hands. And when you attacked him the first time, you had seen mage armor fl. But you carved right through that mage armor. It was protecting him, but not that much. He has mage armor still. And then also throws up a shield spell. The shield spell brings up his armor class to an even 20, meaning that that 16 is not quite a hit. And he goes bing bong as he kind of dives behind the shield a little bit and starts weaving around and trying to avoid your attack. Can't get me. Can't get me. And you know what he's already starting to do? He starts to wave a hand in front of his face. And he's starting to turn invisible before your very eyes. And I am sorry to say that if you can't get to him before he turns invisible, he is definitely going to get out of here. Try to alert the other doom raiders. Loud trade wind. That was your turn. Action bonus.

This is a great play you, Hank.

Another one of us gets to go, and then Schemo gets to go right after the strongest.

Someone get in here.

Here.

I'm a paladin.

But he's.

He's invisible.

He. He's about to be.

He's not there yet.

He is not invisible yet.

We're outside.

We didn't go up on the roof.

Yeah, but you. The horse will get you back up.

There if you roll for your moth. I'll see if your moth can dive down, pick you up, and carry you up there. It would have to roll pretty well, though.

Does the moth have any air to ground capabilities? Like could we put a firebomb on its wings and. And try to fly over and.

Do we just want to burn the whole potion shop down?

Down?

Oh, you would send a message.

Send a message, but I don't know what potions are in there. What if it's a huge explosion. Those guys are in there.

I'll die.

That would kind of kick ass. I. I think Hank would have wanted it that way.

Yeah.

Before who died.

Okay.

Maybe not bomb.

Maybe let's.

Who could burn it down.

Maybe not burn the whole thing down. I want to kill both these guys.

How many exits are there in this place? Let's just wait outside of the door.

There is a front door. There's a back door. And then just.

We'll just stand right in front of it. He can't walk through us.

We feel him. Before he gets invisible.

Do you guys have any weapons? Are you an archer?

Do we have any archer? Could we raid the. The potion shop? We don't have any. Like See the invisible. There's no potions that are like I can now view. You guys can view invisible people?

Like Definitely potions.

We got some juices in there.

Right? Ability. If you can find them.

Are we. Do we feel good about finding maybe or do we still blow it up?

Infrared potion.

I'm down for whatever you guys want to do. I'll die for this squad. I can't.

We can't lose two. We can.

Again. We can't do first guy.

That.

We should have one shot.

But you can lose one of us if one of us survives.

There's got to be a way we make it out.

Boys.

Everybody. I like that.

What if you. You can't die.

I know.

And I tell Mom.

She won't care.

Silent trade when you make the decision.

Yeah. We can't lose. We can't lose any good men this early.

We got.

We got to figure out an alternative route. So do we get you up there with the moss Moth.

But we could try to roll that.

Your hands feel hot.

Yeah.

Can the moth go kamikaze?

Oh.

Crashing through the building.

The moth can attack. Yes. I would give it the same attack.

Why don't you hop on the moth and. And go. Moth attack. You attack.

That could work.

If you're a true believer in the mission.

Could the moth just go pick him up?

What if I gave you a thousand versions? If it goes poorly.

That's a good deal.

The moth can definitely dive in there and either attack him or pick him up. If you want the moth to dive down and pick you up I would have you roll to see if it can do that in time.

So should I have moth grab him and bring him up in the air?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I like that.

That's actually really good.

Let's do it.

Yeah.

Okay.

Absolutely love it. Moth comes Diving in, like in through the balcony because it's so big. And I am going to roll for Schemo to see how well Schemo evades the moth. This is a contested role. We're gonna do. Schemo only got a six. Your moth would have a plus three on this. So roll me a D20 and just get a six or higher. A three or higher on the die is gonna get you there.

16.

16. Let's go. The moth is able to grab, though, and not only grab him, but grapple him so that he's now having trouble moving his arms. And spell casting it can fly him out to either. I'd say with that roll, bring him down to the ground where you are, are, or have them hover in the air and you can, like, do whatever you want.

Boys.

I.

You guys got to decide.

Let's bring him up high. Absolutely. Ooh. You could then just have him let go. That's a free action.

That would also be a great way to draw out the sniper. Yeah, the sniper's gonna try to shoot that moth out of the air.

You're right.

Yeah.

All right. We will bring him up high.

Absolutely. You bring him up high. I'd say at this point, roll to see how far your moth can go in terms of gaining some high height. You're definitely at 46 damage right now, but let's see if you can get any higher. Yeah.

Seven.

Seven. Okay. You're not. I'd say that gets you with a plus three. That's a 10. One more dice. Roll me five D6s as he drops Schemo from the sky and splat onto the ground. Schemo is not able to reduce that damage at all.

Can I ask a question real quick to. What's your name again?

Wayne.

Wayne. Yeah. Is that an F16?

No, dude, that's an F35 too.

Come on. Okay.

Actually, it's a moth light.

Oh.

It looks like an F35 from the body because they only have the one engine and I thought the tail was the engine.

Understandable.

First roll is a 2.

2. Okay.

Second rolls of 4.

4.

All right, we're up to 6. 6. Okay. 12. 16. 6.

Yes.

All right. 22 more damage is gonna bring schemo up to 34 out of 36 damage. He literally has two hit points left. He's about to still turn invisible as he splats on the ground. Except that was your moth's turn. You still have your turn, Greg. And you can do two attacks on your turn. His shield is still running all you got to do is hit him once.

Let's go.

I'm wearing clay.

We forgot to carve.

Well, if he dies, we can carve him post.

Yeah, true, true.

I want to crush his sternum with my boot.

Yes, absolutely you can do. You can kill him with just an unarmed strike. So just roll me a D20. See if you hit him with your boot.

15.

15 is enough with your. You have at least a plus six on your attack bonus. You hit his armor class of 20. No problem. You bring your boot down upon his shield, crushing through the like bubble of shield magical crush through the mage armor COD piece that was protecting him, and then just smush his sternum completely. He goes. Oh, no. And absolutely passes out unconscious. If you carve into his head, he will be dead at that point. Or you could leave him unconscious, I guess. But you could kill him and carve him into his head with the final attack if you would like to.

I'm a bit brutish. I worry about my artistry.

Yes. Roll me a D20 to see how good a job you do. Carry thing.

It's a 12.

It's a 12, I'm gonna say. That's enough. It is recognizable as the Xanathar's guild's symbol. And sure enough, as you do this with your final attack, I'm just gonna roll to see if we notice anybody else on their way, okay? No, no. Okay. One second. All right. And okay, it looks like you're noticing that there is a little bit of a commotion pretty far away in the city. It looks like an armored dwarven woman is on her way towards us right now. And she hasn't noticed us yet. She hasn't noticed anything. But if we skedaddle right now, she'll find the body of Schemo with this carving in her head. She has several thugs with her as well. Looks like three thugs.

I feel like this is perfect. We just.

We.

We actually wait and we say, dude, the. The. The farther guys came and they. Your guy up.

We're also right in front of a potion shop if we want to get invisibility.

Yeah.

When her tu.

Yeah. So he's dead. Schemo's dead.

No, is dead now. Congratulations. One Doom rage.

Pretty good plan, huh?

Absolute.

We could not have done that without you.

That was a great plan.

Mission accomplished.

Good job.

Now. Silent Trade Wind. Europe next. That means Schemo would have gone now, but he's dead, so he doesn't get to go Silent Trade Wind. You could loot the potion cop just before Istred Horn gets here. Or you could dedicate your turn to doing something else. Up to you.

So we, we've. We've marked out one. We've got four more boys to whisper. Is that where we're at?

Yeah. And I, I wonder. The only thing I'm wondering is should we, should we stick around and be like, hey, we saw everything. We're happy to give a statement and then have the, the woman cop bring us in and then we kill her there.

That's a good idea at the station.

Yeah. Of.

She's a corrupt.

She's a corrupt police officer. They'll all be happy that she's dead.

I think that they're also corrupt. This, this lady that's coming up, she's going to see the dead guy and she's going to. Because she loves money, right?

Correct.

She's probably going to go into the store to try to take the money.

Knowing that the guy's dead.

So maybe we could try to trap her in there and then blow it up. And then we blow it up.

Blow it up.

Yeah.

And we also get all the potion before she gets there.

Yeah. He is a follower of the God of greed. It would be wild if she didn't try to go in and loot. Like that is a very good point.

Dude, this shop will blow up with one match.

Now how do we get her to loot? How do we get her into.

She will.

She just seems probably going to do that automatically. Save bet.

Completely understandable.

Also, I feel obliged to let you know that you could definitely go in, loot the shop on your own if you wanted or set yourself up to. In terms of explosions, what you're trying to do is explosion. You have two spells, Thunder wave, which is like the fus in Skyrim where you blast a bunch of people back, back, knock a bunch of potions over or shatter, which is even bigger. Causes a huge explosion that would take out one of the three floors.

Put a bomb in there.

Dude, you're the bomb.

Put a bomb in there.

We might put. We might have to put a bomb in there. We might have to get this potion shop.

Finito out of here 100%. You are essentially a living bomb. You can cast spells that create bombs. And I'd even say as a bonus action, if you wanted to look around for particularly explosive or flammable potions, you could do that.

That I would like to do a quick little potion sweep, you know, looking for some explosive and maybe some, you know, throw in the satchel for later.

If we need Them, Absolutely. Now, as you enter the potion shop, you're going in at the ground level. Is that right?

That, that is correct. I'm going to ground level. That's where the inventory is at. That's where we make the biggest boom.

Bingo. Schemo employees are still there, and I'm just going to make sure one of them's like, I thought I heard something upstairs, but not enough that they're going to go bother Schemo. So they, they say, let us know if we can help you. Looking around the shop right now. Go ahead and roll me an investigation or persuasion check a D20 plus if you have either of those skills.

Okay, this is huge, Zach.

Okay, we're at a 16 on that.

16. Absolutely. Plus. Do you have the persuasion skill? Perception.

I am armed with perception. On seven.

You have a plus seven on. Hey, let's go absolute 16 plus seven. That's a 23. You're gonna find. You can find up to three different big potions, but if you want them all to be explosive potions, I will absolutely allow that. You're finding whole shelves of explosive potions that if you detonate this floor, you are absolutely going to cause a chain reaction that will bring the whole tower down upon everyone on the first floor.

You think two of the, two of the three of these massive potions could knock that out?

I'd actually say yes. So you can get one other potion.

Okay, boys, there's. So we got two explosion potions that are going to blow this thing down.

Take the whole place out. As long as you cast a shatter spell on the floor.

I would like to cast a shatter.

Absolutely. Do you want to cast it now or do you want to. Ready to cast it as soon as.

Yeah, ready. You got to wait.

Walks in.

I, I, I would like to. I would like to.

Ready. Silent trade wind. Are you trying to hide that you are casting this spell so the shopkeepers don't know about it?

Oh, certainly. This is covert. This is covert spell.

Roll me a D20. I'm going to say you have a plus five on this. Since your silent trade wind I'm giving you stand stealth.

Okay, we got a 17 on five.

22 in all. Absolutely is enough. No one notices. But you're getting a shatter spell ready behind one of the shelves. Just blow this whole floor the up. You can pick one more potion. Absolutely.

Knock it down, boys. Okay, so we have. Look, we're, look, we're browsing on the shelves. There's an invisibility potion and there's a mind control Potion. Which one are we going with?

Literally both of those potions are present here. I love how creative you got. I was really going to say those same exact two potions. I'm actually kind spooked out that you knew that those two ones were there. You got a mind control. You got mind reading. You got invisibility. You got sea invisibility. You have a potion of climbing and healing. Those would be the big ones.

What do we think makes the most sense for the inventory?

I kind of like mind reading.

Mind reading, I think, would do us the most help.

Okay. We're gonna throw mine reading in the sagil.

Yeah.

Blow this down.

Potion of mind reading.

Are you in any danger being in here for the explosion?

You are definitely a little bit of danger.

Yeah, absolutely. That's a good point.

Got guys. We got a militia though.

We got guys. Target the potions you want to target. You would not necessarily be able to eat, but you can position yourself, I'd say near the door so that you're the best able to bolt out of here as soon as the spell goes off without Absolutely.

Listen.

Hey.

That is gonna be a role.

I want you to know that if you die in this, I will tell.

Your mother I died honorably.

Our mother. No telling. Like you died like a.

You screamed really gaily.

Yeah. You're just a crying little.

You peed yourself.

We doing?

Yeah.

Can I at least do open casket for mom?

I don't know if that. You'll be what will be left to you.

Yeah.

Okay. Open. Earn.

Open.

Don't sneeze. There it is. Silent trade wind. As you set up this spell, I'm going to say that Istrid, before her turn even starts parts does walk into the shop now at this point does not see you getting the spell ready. Walks right past you. I feel like you're in the doorway. Kind of like off to the side. And she has three thugs with her. She immediately starts talking with the shopkeepers. Where's Schemo? I. I got a message from him that something was going on. Apparently Schema must have gotten off like a quick magical signal to her or something like that. Do you drop your spell right now? She's completely going to be surprised by it.

Do we think it takes her out? What do we think?

Boys, I don't want to lose you.

Take her out.

I'm close to the door though. Fast twitch off the line.

Could you just like jump in the air as you cast it and then hopefully the explosion knocks you away?

Do we do. I would like to attempt A diving cast, if that's okay.

Absolutely. 100%. So the big we're going to save for last to see how this works for you. But you're diving and casting. First of all, roll me if you want want the damage for your shatter spell alone, which is 3D8. But I want to highlight that you have an ability where twice per day you can just say maximize it. And you don't roll 3d8. You just get 24 damage automatically. Do you want to use your channel divinity now, the wrath of the storm ability, or do you want to save it for another?

Is it. Are we. Are we late in the day? Like mid afternoon? Is it early? Like, is a new day going to come up decently soon?

You do think that we won't get a new day until all the doom raiders are slain. So until the doom raiders are slain. This ability two times. Do you want to use it now or no?

Do we believe in the dice or do we want to go just full.

Max, we can use it again.

Yeah, you have two full maxes.

So should we just guarantee explosion right here?

Sounds like the name of a delicious soda. Yeah, I'll take two full maxes, please.

I would like to use one full max on an implosion of this potion shop.

Absolutely. Now is a great time to do it, I would say. It automatically deals 24 damage. That means to everybody in the shop, not to yourself. The shatter spell doesn't hit you. The collapse might hit you though. So you set off the shatter spell. Istrid immediately takes 24 damage. But because she. Let me just make sure. Actually she gets a saving throw. But she gets disadvantage on it. Yes. The second one means she fails. She takes the full 24 automatically and gets hurdled through the air. All the other people in the shop, her thugs, the potion shopkeepers, explode. They're dead. They had like 11 hit points each. So it's just you and Istred now. Now. And now I would like you to roll for each floor that's falling on you guys. 3D12. That's 6D12s in all, if you please. And that's how much extra damage she's getting so far. She's halfway dead at 24 damage.

So we need 24 out of this.

324 more. Yeah.

Okay, we got a 6.

6. Okay.

We got a 6. We got a 2. That's not good, gentlemen.

Oh.

5.

5. Okay, we're up to 13. We're halfway there.

Or.

Sorry. Yeah. 13.

Another 6.

Okay, 6.

Okay.

Get hot.

In a 4.

4. All right, okay.

6.

11.

11. There you go.

100.

It was a little more than 24 that you needed, which is why I felt bad with that 11 at the end. You can just barely confirm the sixes were like.

Sixes. He's crushing this.

Absolutely you. Yeah, those are D12s. Unfortunately. Not great rolls for D12s, but it was enough. As all the bricks of the shop fall down upon her. You see one just clobber her right in the back, probably breaking her spine. And then the last one falls on her head, not crushing it completely, but you see blood trickle down and it's going through her armor. Istred Horn is dead. That is two Doom Raiders down. Well done. Absolutely. For a single spell slot, no less. Very well done. Istrid's down. Schemo is down as well. And when that happens, I am just gonna roll to see if anyone else else would be showing up.

I feel like Hank's not happy that we're killing Sting.

Okay.

What's the matter?

What do you mean?

You just put a ring on and it's very limp.

I'm getting a piss bomb warmed up.

Ah, okay. All right.

Of course that's going to come in useful.

You're uncut.

All right.

Can I ask a question real quick? Does anyone here have a plus six or better in perception? I believe Trade wind. Does anybody else?

I got seven.

Silent trade wind. Oh, and silent trade win. This all depends on whether you're seeing this, which depends on whether you got out of your own trap or not. Please roll me a D20 to see if you spell cast and jumped out the door at the same time.

Got a seven.

Seven is not quite going to be enough. So here's the actually, am I going to give you advantage? Yeah, I'm going to give you advantage on that one. One more roll because you almost readied to do this.

Six.

Okay, that is not enough, I'm sorry to say. I'm now tallying up.

Oh, wait.

Oh, dot.

Unfortunately, nine is still not quite enough with bonus. I was looking for a 15 or higher. So unfortunately, you are getting not the full amount, but half of the full effect of the collapse. Collapse. The collapse dealt 36 damaged. You are going to take 18 damage. Can I ask how many hit points do you have normally trade with at the top center of your.

So got my arm. My health points are 39.

39. So you have taken 18 damage and you have 39 normally. So you're not halfway down yet, but you might need healing at some point, but you jump clear. And though you took damage. You did did take down one of the doom raiders and as you do with your perception, you automatically look up and I rolled stealth for somebody. They beat everyone's perception except yours. You see someone on the rooftops disappear and you think you hear a mutter. Ah, damn it. I missed tea time. Oh, man. And he is late for the tee off, but he is absolutely here. Zhaj is somewhere on the rooftops right now. And you, you got a glimpse of him. He's gone now, but at some point Ziraj is going to go and so he is in initiative right now. That, ooh, silent trade wind right after your turn goes. Oh wait, no, no, I need to re roll that. That was the wrong number. Okay. Yeah, he does not go yet, but he's going to be going at some point.

We'll get back to D D in a second. And Tim woods is brought to you by Chevy. Football season might be over. Over, but you know how it goes. The minute the big game ends, we're already talking about what's next. Free agency, the draft, who's getting paid, who's grinding. Because for football guys, there is no off season. That's exactly why football guys choose the Chevy Silverado. Silverado is the truck that shows up every time. Built to haul, tow, take a beating, but it's smart where it counts. It's got modern truck tech that makes life easier. Big screens, available camera view, use it. Helps with towing, helps with parking. And a cabin that feels right. Whether you're road tripping, heading to practice, or loading up for the weekend. During the season, it's the mvp. The tailgate. After the season, it turns into your training camp. Truck hauling gear, tackling home projects, doing the work that never stops. Because the grind doesn't take breaks. Neither does the Silverado. Do you see this? That Chevy literally put a Silverado ZR2 on top of Castle Rock in the middle of the deck desert. It's all part of their new campaign.

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Wayne, we are back around to you. Now. What would you like to do on your turn return?

I'd like to draw out that. That big, strong, muscular woman.

Oh, yes, strong woman. Now we did have an inkling that she was at the southern gate of the city. So you could go there or you could be where everyone else is and just trying to call out to her, but it would almost be easier.

Yeah, yeah, Two chicks. One was like, you know, we took.

Down money bags of the big size.

Yeah.

We're looking for Tasha and Yafira.

Yeah.

We killed who? We killed.

We killed. And Istri, he killed. Okay, so she's down.

The cop is who? What's her name?

This is Tashlin, the cop. Tashin is the cop.

Okay. I thought we killed the cop.

Yeah.

Okay.

Street kind of randomly showed up, not as a member of the watch, but because she got a message. Got it perfectly.

Okay. The first guy, Schemo that we killed, he's still in the street. Yeah.

Yes, correct.

Okay.

All right.

Hasn't shown up yet. But if you go get her and are like, there's been a crime, that might be even more plausible.

I'd like to. I'd like to disguise self. O. I have the level one spell that I can do.

Yes. You can look like anybody you want.

I want to look like a stronger, bigger, hotter woman than Tashlin.

And I think.

I think if she came out and she saw me, she'd be like, Whoa. 1 hello. So I. I want to. Can I disguise myself as a stronger, more powerful, like maybe more muscular thighs? You know, they got that, like, ripple on them.

Even as you're doing the disguise self spell, you're like, no, add more to the size. Yeah, keep adding more Mrs. Doubtfire style. You're like, almost like 3D printing this, like, whole disguise.

I gotta.

Working on big, strong breastplate, but the nipples are still somehow poking the nipples.

Are so hard they dented.

Yeah, yeah. And I'd like to be Skimo's like, disguise as Schemo's maybe older sister.

Oh, that's.

That's very distraught that my brother's in the middle of the street.

Read 100.

Can someone come help me?

Absolutely. I would like you to please roll a deception check with advantage on Tashlin. Tashlin is going to get a. Ooh, you do need to beat a 15 on this.

Okay, I have plus eight.

You have plus eight. And you have advantage. You get to roll twice.

I rolled a one again, but you.

Get to roll twice. So we're not going to count that first roll place once, you get another one.

10.

10 and plus 8. You said that is enough. You needed a 15 or higher. As you see, I'm going to say this is like, because she wasn't on her way. You run to the city gate where, you know Tash, you're like, help, we need help. She comes running over. Do you tell her, don't bring other city watch, or do you tell her, yeah, fine, bring others?

I say, I only trust you.

Only trust you. She is going to roll one more time just to see if she believes that or not. Yep. She goes, honestly, I would too. And you can tell that she is. I'm going to say that was her role to avoid being seduced. She's into it. She is into what you are presenting right now. Getting some Pluribus action right now. You think that maybe Cashlin is swinging in your direction right now. And muscle mommy to muscle mommy. She is down to clown. As she arrives. She goes, oh, Schemo, she's been lost in your eyes right now looking at your breastplate at the moment. And as she turns, she goes, eskimo's dead. Oh, and she runs over and she is going to see with a 19. She goes, but it couldn't be the Xanathar's Guild. The Xanathar's Guild wouldn't do this. This doesn't look their like their work. But. But I mean, who would frame the Xanathar's Guild? It's got to be them. I was looking for a 20 to for to see through our disguise. She got a 19. She almost saw through the disguise, but did not.

Okay, can I be like, you need to help me. We can solve this together.

Absolutely. 100. She puts an arm on your shoulder. How can I help?

Yeah, we're gonna solve this crime together, me and you. Do you know anyone that can help us?

Roll me a persuasion check on her now as your bonus action to see how like much control you'll have over which doom raiders she wants to bring. Bring in on this. Yeah, she's gonna at least bring in one piece of help.

I only rolled a 3.

10.

You have advantage on this one too because now she's on your side.

Do you have any cunningus skill?

You certainly do. You're a bar.

I have sleight of hand.

Yeah, that works.

What's the difference? Yeah, and plus you have persuasion. That's a silver tongue right there.

Yeah, that's a 20.

There you go. Absolutely. So she literally turns you. Goes well, well, without Schemo. I mean he's the first one I would have gotten. I could get my bard friend. He's really talkative and he can kind of like maybe talk to people and get good information for us. I could also get. Well, the fixer, the archer. I could go get him. And she starts to think about that. She's obviously a little scared of Zerage.

He more likes to sit in the corner and watch.

Absolutely. She also says I could probably go get my friend Istred Horn. She's a powerful healer. Maybe she could do something here she does not see in the smoking rubble of the tower the one gauntleted hand sticking out right now. I don't think she knows what's happened in that tower. She just knows Skimo died and his tower collapsed.

Okay.

I think.

I think I'd like her to bring the bard out. Like let's get all the. The whole crew out if we can.

100%.

I brought back a potion.

Oh my God. Oh no.

Good, good.

Little poison if we need it.

I almost said that.

Look delicious.

I didn't want to leave the room.

Absolutely.

We're in the middle of a battle.

It's intense. Absolutely. She's willing to go get all the help. Almost like where do I go to get Zerage? And she doesn't know Zeraj is already here. So she runs and gets Dabble Starsong. She even mentions he hangs out at a tavern where fighting is not allowed. But she can get him out of that tavern if you want her to and bring him here. Would you like her to do that?

Have a big party, you know.

You see Dabble Star Song showing up? He does not. Oh, sorry. And will he have his retinue with him? He does. He has a bodyguard. A half work woman who seems like she is a boxer of some kind and watching his back. But she also seems very dumb. And Dabble Star Song Moses up and goes, schemo seems like he has fallen on hard times. Right, everybody? Am I right? And everyone's just like, all right, thanks, Davil. And Davil is absolutely, like, not upset about Schemo's death. And he goes, oh, those Xanathar's Guild goblins have been up to their work again. I suppose I'll need to go talking to the street element, as it were. What would you like either Tashlin or Davil Starsong, their bard, to do, keeping in mind he has no idea that you're a bard in disguise.

Yeah, right now, so we've got two. We got two ops out in the street right now. Sitting ducks, Kind of.

Yes, Very much so.

We could try to take two of them out. If we work together, we're all. Hank, you didn't. You didn't say yes.

I'm in.

Are you sure?

Positive. Yeah. I don't care. My guy's dead.

Take a sip of my potion, guy.

No.

Just to show us that you care.

All right, so how. How do we kill these two guys?

Apologies, There is something I did forget to address real quick. Erlich and. And loud trade wind. You were both upstairs. Oh, no, Zach.

That feels like a big.

I am going to need you guys to just make a roll for me real quick to see if you jump to a nearby rooftop. Unless you have some other way to get out of here. So I would just like Norm or. Sorry, a loud trade wind. I mean, Erlich, you're the one I'm more worried about. You only get one roll on this.

Oh, no.

D20.

D20. Bingo.

He roll a three.

Erlich, I'm sorry to say you have taken the full 36 damage. How many hit points do you have normally?

45.

45.

So you have taken 36 damage out of 45, you have nine hit points left. You get to roll twice because you are raised. And this is an athletics check thing. You had advantage.

That was once bad.

This is bad.

That was also a one roll.

Two ones. So with two ones in a row, that was the only way he could have gotten this result, which is double damage. Be taking 72. But here's the good news. That would normally be enough to knock you out, except since you're raging, you take half bludgeoning damage from falls and weapons and stuff like that. So it just goes back down to 36 again when you roll the natural one. So let me ask, what are your hit points normally?

So 59.

Okay, 59. You have taken 36 damage out of 59. Right.

I feel like 23. You just forgot to tell us in the.

I'm sorry. Yeah, I did forget to mention that when that explosion goes off, can I.

Drink the potion to get.

You certainly can drink healing potions. The problem is that all the potions in the shop are now destroyed. So we don't have any healing potions that I know of.

What if he made his own in the corner?

You could try to. Absolutely. 100%.

How many points would I get back?

Roll me a D20 just to see as you try to your own own potion.

That's a 16.

16. I'll give you one hit point back as it is a little bitter and accurate whole life.

I would take a sip.

You. You essentially you take a sip. It's only giving you one back and you're like this isn't worth it anymore. I'm sorry to say you're it. You've taken 35 out of your 59 damage, so you're at 24 health left, but you're crawling out of the wreckage. I've been in worse shop at the moment. And Wayne, that was in theory your turn then. And so you had been convincing the dabble star song to come out. And now we have two sitting ducks, I believe is what we were planning just a moment ago before I interrupted.

Yeah.

Are we. Are the two muscle mommies touching each other right now?

Yeah. She's rubbing her shoulder a lot. Yeah. Cuz you're the other muscle.

I'm relaxing a little bit.

Yeah, 100%. You can roll me one more persuasion check just to see how this is going right now.

Yeah, see how it's going. Thirteen.

Thirteen. Absolutely. And you have a plus what on this? Did you get a 20 or higher?

On which one?

Persuasion?

Six.

Six.

Okay. With a 19. You think that things are going to go well tonight if you keep things going right now, like you haven't sealed the deal yet. You're one away from a 20. Right? Yeah, absolutely. You're putting in work. Absolutely. And Erlich, that is going to bring us to you next. We did discover that while you are really hurt right now, you are not unconscious on your turn. So I apologize. While you are badly injured, you're not dead luckily and you can do whatever you would like to. The only healer on our team is our cleric. Right now.

I, I'm. I think I heard this right, but I heard this. Someone on the roof.

Correct.

Ran away.

Assuming Loud Trade Wind has shared that information with everyone. Is that right?

Oh certainly, certainly, certainly, absolutely.

You now know that information Wait.

Because he's.

You're.

You're quiet.

I was quiet. You're loud. But I'll. We'll both share.

Sure. He's silent.

I wouldn't share if we were. Yeah. You got the info. Everyone's got the info.

Hurt I am, bro.

All right. So I would like to roll. I would like to roll for investigation. Because when he was running away, he mentioned some about a tea time. So I'd like to. I'd like to find out some more about that.

Absolutely. 100%. You can. You can. Sorry, you said you wanted to roll.

Investigation.

Investigation.

See what this tea time time's all about.

Absolutely. This will be a bonus. Action.

Can I get the dice, please?

Yes. Yes.

Loud. Trade one.

All right.

D20.

It's D10.

That'll be a one.

Oh, with a one. I am sorry, Gol. You don't know where or what always.

Happens to me when we play this game.

If he has a golf. Golfing spot, then unfortunately it is not one that Ehrlich is aware of. And I will admit I was doing a Luke Kwan reference that I don't think I landed very well. But he is. He's running. He ran a little late. Siraj always shows up a little bit late to the Doom Raiders.

Can I just see this doesn't count for anything. Roll a D20 again real quick with your other hand.

Oh, is he better lefty or righty?

Oh.

17.

Oh, lefty.

Lefty.

So you're looking around. You don't see any. You don't know of any golf courses around. And there must be around Waterdeep. It's a big city, but you don't know where they are.

Limit and you don't qualify. Yeah.

Action.

I don't know. Let's kill one of these other. Let's certainly can.

Yeah, absolutely. You have several.

Let's just kill both of the. Both of the Muscle Mommies.

Okay, so I was.

Wait a goddamn second.

What do you mean?

To be safe, you have attacks that hit multiple enemies.

Sounds like a hate crime. Action.

Actually, can I piss bomb the Muscle Mommies?

You certainly can. You can.

All right. Yeah, let's do it.

Were you. Can I ask, you have the spell Fireball by any chance?

I don't believe so. I do have the Eldrick Black level.

Spells. No, sorry.

Cast a spell. Level one level. Oh, Fireball. I do.

Oh, yes. So I just want to let you know that Fireball would be able to hit D Star Song and both Muscle Mommies as well as DL Star Songs. Bodyguard as well. Just throwing out there.

Let's do that.

You certainly can. Absolutely. You don't have the ability to spell shape to protect your allies, as it were. Rip cake. The wizard had that power. But you do not. And so are you. Including both muscle mommies. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Absolutely.

We're all hurt. Let's might as you know.

I would like you to please roll for me 8 the playoffs.

Everyone's hurt this time of year.

And Adam up.

I'm not hurt or sorry.

Eight. Eight of them in all.

8D6.

8D6 is fireball is one of the best spells in the game.

3.

Right. 5. 6. 6 5. Hot 19 on the first half. 4 3, 4, 5, 5. So that's 16 plus the 19 is gonna be 35 damage. All right, so 35 damage aimed at Davel first. I'm gonna roll for him. He is just barely passing the saving. Oh, no. Based on your new level or. Or based on your current level. He is just barely failing by one point. The saving throw. He is taking the full 35 damage. Damage. But it means that Davil still has exactly 7hp left. As that fireball detonates around him, his bodyguard fails. The saving throw explodes. She's dead. Well then I am going to roll for Tashlin Yafira. Just barely fails the saving throw. Takes 35 damage and is almost halfway dead. But not quite halfway dead even after 35 damage. Damage. And then I'm gonna need our other muscle mommy to please roll me a D20 to see how much damage you are taken.

I've got a delivering cutting words reaction to any. Any action that somebody takes against me.

Yes, correct.

Can I remind the warlock that I'm an attractive female and I just got an invitation to go play golf instead of him with the guy that just ran away.

I'm gonna let you make a persuasion check against him with that cutting words. Roll me a D20 to convince him of that.

Because it would have been him. Yeah, And I was looking so good. It's a four.

Four. I'll let you roll to see if you see through this ruse. 1. And with a 1, you do think that this person got your spot in. Yeah, so.

So does that. That dulls their attack on me?

Yeah, in theory it does. 100%. It would subd retract some of the damage that would otherwise be coming your way. I'll just check with that roll. Did that cause you to not fireball the other muscle mommy or do you think it still did?

I would. I would try and fireball her. Harder.

Harder.

Absolutely said something like that to me.

You're taking 35 damage, but you can't or sorry, did you roll your save?

But I don't know.

This is pft. For the record.

Yes, I think it's Muscle Mommy. Absolutely. Especially with that one. I would say that checks out. Go ahead and roll me the saving throw first.

You could have told me it was you. You could have told me it was you and I would have not fireballed you. But you said had to take a shot at me.

Yeah, it's way more fun to do that. Okay, for the record, I had an 18.

18. That is enough. You are going to take half of the 35 damage. So already that's just 17 that you're worried about. But then roll me another D6 and you subtract it by that much more.

Six.

Six absolute. Oh, sorry. I just realized that the level you're at, it's not a D6, it's a D8. I'll let you take the 6, but roll me a D8 just to see if it's any better.

This is D8.

This is the D8 right there.

2.

2. We'll take the 6. We'll take the 6. So with the minus 6, you're taking 11 damage. Wayne. Wayne, how many hit points do you have normally?

51.

51. So you're doing okay. You're down to 40 out of 51 right now. And right now we have wrecked the Doom Raiders. Two of them are dead and two of them just got. Fireball called for full damage, but Tashlin still has a little more than most of her hit points. Davel is down to just seven left, but both of them are now going to roll into initiative at this point. And that was Erlich's turn. So, Erlich, anything else you wanted to do as a bonus action? Just making sure.

Oh, can I.

Can I like gritty on. On Muscle Mommy?

You certainly can. 100%.

Which one?

Both. Both.

Absolutely. You're just hitting them with the gritty. Roll me an intimidation check. I think that's what that would be.

D6.

Four.

Okay, four. And you have a plus eight. You said on intimidation.

Yeah.

That is just enough that unless I get a nah, roll me a D20. As long as you don't get a two, you are. You're okay.

12.

12. You're fine. Absolutely. No one's that scared of the gritty, unfortunately. But lob another fireball and they will be very upset, I am sure. But that's your turn, Erlich. That means Zhiraj. Is up now and from the shadows, Zeraj is going to aim at one of us. And he's hoping it's somebody who isn't aware of his presence or aware of his current location right now. Exactly. That is going to be be Not Wayne, not Erlich, not loud Trade wind. But Greg, I am sorry to say you have an arrow coming your way, unfortunately. And it's with advantage because he was successfully stealthed from you. That is going to be a 15 plus 7. Can I ask, what is your armor class, Greg?

My armor class is 20.

Sorry to say I got a 22 in all. So I am just barely hitting you with a great bow arrow. This is very much, much just like a ballista bolt hitting you almost. The initial damage is 10 5, which is 15. But then the arrow hits and then charges up and explodes in your chest for an additional just four points of damage, bringing you up to 19. And then it burst into dark flames for three arrows.

This.

That is gonna be the smite that's hitting you now for another 10 plus goddamn smite. 16 you. And you are the smiter now. You are the smite. E. Unfortunately this time and that is going to be bringing you up to 35 damage from this single shot. Can I ask how many hit points do you have? Normally I have 52. 52. So you took 35. You have 52 normally.

I think we got to just realize that in order to kill all these people, one of us is going to die. I'm hurt.

Ehrlich's hurt.

Greg's hurt.

Mommy's hurt.

We just gotta. We hurt from friendly fire now. We just gotta. We gotta accept. Let's just get this job done.

Or a truce. We offer one of us and then we're cool.

What about psychologically? Like hurt people. Hurt people.

Who's.

What's. What's wrong with these people? Maybe we can connect with them on a.

Let's heal them.

Heal them.

Who's.

Who's up next?

It will be loud Trade wind in just a moment. However they. That was Z's first shot. Come on, Z.

Wait, Tim, can I ask a question about Zerage? He's shooting us. We now know where he is, right?

You do know now where he is. Absolutely. He has been revealed. And he doesn't have the ability to hide his bonus action. Unlike rogues, he's a Ranger Paladin. So he can't hide. He'll take cover, but he can't hide however he's taking a second shot. I once again rolled randomly Erlich Say that with seven hit points left, he feels. Oh, nine hit points left to be exact. He feels very strongly he can one shot you. I must alert you, though, he cannot smite again. He does not have that ability.

Shame.

If he wanted, he can, but it's a weaker smite. So, yeah, we all agree this should.

Be a shame if he got one shotted. I hope it doesn't happen.

I'll mourn.

Yep.

Ooh.

With a total of a 17. Can I ask, what is your armor class, Erlich? I think that's still a hit, though.

Where does it say that?

It's a top center of your very, very top 15.

15.

I am sorry to say that be a hit against you. And without even applying the smite damage, he dealt with the bow alone. Maximum damage 12 +5 is 17. Now, Erlich, you are getting knocked out and not killed. But as you go down, you have an interesting option. You have a spell called Hellish Rebuke that you only get to use when someone hits you and deals damage to you. So you could turn to him and immediately cause him to burst into flames as he takes you down. Would you like to do that?

That would help these guys.

It. I mean, it would help these guys.

Yeah, but I'm dying no matter what.

I mean, you're going unconscious no matter what. Yes.

Yeah, I'll do it.

Absolutely. I'm imagining you give him the buzzer sound, and as you do, you are 100% doing the hellish rebuke. He bursts into flames, goes. What the. And he is so surprised. I'm gonna roll with disadvantage on his saving throw. Perfect. He fails a saving throw, you get to deal. I believe it goes up to four D10 damages. Sorry, it's two D10 at that level. So you're up to five D10 now, I believe roll. The D10 is a die. We haven't rolled yet. It looks like this. Kind of like the D8, but a little fatter.

So he's rebuking on the. On the. On the sniper.

On Zerage. The sniper, who we haven't heard at all. All yet, so that's great news.

Is the one with a zero on it?

It's the one with the zero on it. If you get the zero, that's actually the 10 the best you could get. Got it. Got it. The 10. Okay. And then you could draw four more times.

Gotcha five.

Absolutely.

Gotcha one.

One. Absolutely.

Very confusing.

Gotcha eight.

Eight. Okay.

Gotcha one.

Okay, so that's all of them then. And that's the Dot on Zerj. That takes off exactly one third of Zhaj's health. So Z is onethird of the way down. Tashin's halfway down. D's most of the way down. We're almost got all three Doom Raiders now on lockdown, but the problem is they're fighting us as well. Luckily, your fireball took care of all the minions, and the collapsed store also took care of some minions, so we haven't had to deal with any of their minions yet.

Is Tashling getting a little dehydrated? Because, you know, she's losing some fluids.

I would say with that fireball, she's very dehydrated. She needs fluids. And she's letting you know that I.

Would say fluids are just kind of pouring out of her.

Absolutely. She needs those vital fluids. Absolutely.

Am I dead?

You are unconscious now, Erlich. I am sorry to say if someone heals you, you automatically get back up and running. But.

But I don't.

If we get to your saving throw without you getting healed, have to make death save to see if you die. And if someone attacks you while you're on the ground, that will kill you.

In that case, we'll get back to D and D in a second. This episode of Part of My Take is brought to you by McDonald's Hot Honey Sauce. Hot Honey Sauce is at McDonald's for a limited time. Your favorite orders just got better with hot honey sauce. Try the hot honey snack wrap. It'll beat what you thought was your favorite. I personally, you know what I like to do for breakfast? I like to get a sausage, egg and cheese cheese McMuffin. I like the. The steak, egg and cheese bagel. The sausage, egg and cheese would actually be amazing with some hot honey sauce. Might even get weird. Might even put hot honey on a McGriddle. I think that sounds pretty good too. About to dive into the snack wrap right here. The hot honey snack wrap.

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Now back to Dungeons and Dragons.

And that'll bring us to loud trade winds.

Okay, boys, so we got two on the ground that are almost dead. We've got the sniper who's got a third of the death, I think. And if you guys can tell me if this is stupid, but I think I should go get on the. Get on the moth and go try to kill this sniper. And if I die, I don't die.

That's Fair.

You guys like it? Because I don't want to be. I don't want to be in a spot. We're in a vulnerable position where the sniper can just keep sniping us.

Yeah. I give you full permission to kama kazi. My moth.

Yes.

I'm so glad you said that, cuz I was going to roll to see how well the moth was handling you. The barbarian riding on its back. If you expressly say, hey, be a good moth, this moth is going to reluctantly let the barbarian hop on again and carry you up to the rooftop. No check necessary.

All right, so let's. Let's go. I want to go.

Are you next to Hank?

Well, he's on the. On the ground, I think.

Oh, you're. Are you on the ground?

No, I'm. I'm on the moth.

Oh, okay.

I'm going up to this sniper.

Hank's unconscious.

I'm going all out for the sniper.

Okay.

I want the sniper dead so that you guys can carry on and kill everyone on the.

Hank left the room. Do we want to try to rip him in half?

Yeah. Oh, did my moth accidentally stomp on. On Hank when we were. Roll.

Roll. Just to check if it did. If you roll really low, we'll say he stomped on it.

What is it?

It's a D20. D20. Feed. Feed.

My moth is eyeballs.

I really hope that the moth is trying to avoid.

So if you roll low.

19.

Okay, good point, though we haven't.

The moth has anything to eat.

The monster's trying. The monster's trying to stop.

Who's the smallest member of the party.

Technically Ehrlich.

Erlich being.

Okay.

Yeah.

A snack. So the.

So the moth accidentally trying to step on him.

The moth is famished.

Yeah.

Yes. Oh, so the moth got a little hungry. It seems like the moth might have taken a little bite of Ehrlich.

Yeah.

If he does, then that would leave Erlich one attack away from dying.

Essentially, let's have the moth eat his penis, but not tell him.

Yeah, absolutely. The moth just takes a bite when he wakes up from unconscious righteousness. Healing spells, notably, don't restore limbs. They seal wounds, but they don't restore limbs. So I will just say he doesn't know what's going on right now and wake up. I also just want to highlight, I think one of my fondest memories from any of our games was the time when Hank was out of the room. And then you made me because Hank was blind, explained that he had no idea who killed him while you were ALL giggling and I had to believe.

Let's set him up with the muscle, mommy. And try to give him a. Then he realized he's penis.

Oh yeah, that's good. It did hurt just a little bit, like. So he pooped himself just a little.

I think just a smidgen. Just a. Just in one. One nug. One little nugget.

Do you want the good news or the bad news?

My name is Erlich.

Erlich. Do you want the good news or the bad news?

Bad news.

I'll do good news first. The good news is I'm on the moth and I'm heading up to the sniper.

And the moth is well fed also. That's other good news. Would you like the bad news?

Yeah, the moth was pretty hungry and for me to get up to the sniper, you had to have a snack. He ate your penis, which will happen. The whole thing's gone.

There you go.

Yeah, yeah.

Balls as well. Just checking.

No, no, no, no. He's got the balls.

Balls as well.

Okay. That's where the nutrients are. So yeah, you are. The moth is now happily like with a little penis, a little bit of extra dangling out of its mouth, flying up to the rooftop lands you right next to Zeraj the hunter, who is very much like getting the arrow ready and being like, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no.

He does not like being in melee. And you are able to jump off the moth with your great sword and start swinging.

Let's go.

Or pushing.

No, let's, let's, let's kill him.

I want to kill him. I love it. 100%. Go ahead and roll. Assuming you're going reckless times. Absolutely.

17 already a hit, but roll one.

More time to see if you crit. Absolutely. We'll take that. 17/7 is going to be a solid hit on zeraj. You get two D, be six plus six damage. Four.

Six.

Okay. 10 plus six damage. 16 more damage on ZH is going to bring him up from 25 damage to 41. At 41 out of his 76 health, he is more than halfway dead. You have one more attack. Are you swinging your sword again? Oh yeah.

Oh no, I'm. I'm swinging again.

So he's pretty sure footed. It's a good move, honestly.

16.

16 is already a hit. Roll one more time, see if you crit.

11. There we go.

16 +7 is going to be a hit. Go ahead and roll another 2D. 6 plus 6.

1, 5, 5.

So 6 plus 6. Another 12 damage is going to bring him up to 53. He's more than two thirds of the way dead now. But he is not dead yet. He drops his bow to the ground, pulls a spear off his back.

All right, let's go, buddy.

Points it at you and tries to drive it through your chest on his turn. But it is not his turn yet. Loud trade wind, you're locked in. Melee with him. Now this would be Istred Horn's turn. Istrid Horn has been crushed under a building, so she's out of initiative now. And Greg is up. Greg, with two GS. What would you like to do?

So I am on the ground with the two. There's two living.

Correct.

Okay.

Dabble Star Song, the bard is going to be going soon. And Tashlin Yafira, the mighty warrior, your S is going to be going right after your turn.

All right.

I would like to bless my allies.

Yeah.

Oh, yes. 100%. Now that would have to be instead of attacking. Are you okay with that? You do have to sacrifice your action in order to do that.

Can I lay my hands on myself to heal first and then bless?

I let you do both of those, actually. I like that as a combo. 100%.

Okay.

So you can heal. And I'd say is the action you're blessing. The bonus action is you healing yourself.

Love it. Okay.

Absolutely. And now you get to pick how much you want to heal yourself. How much do you want to give yourself in terms of hit points? You have a pool of, I believe something like 30 points. Yeah, absolutely. So you give yourself all 30 or you give yourself 29, save one hit point to wake someone up, since that's all you need to get someone up from unconscious. Or you could split it, go half.

I'll do 29.

29, absolutely. You give yourself 29 back. That remains, removes almost all of the damage on you. You had 35 points, Greg. So with 29 healing, you're down to like six damage on you. That's all. So we see your wounds re knit as the light.

Oh.

Shines down upon you. And then the light extends outward to your allies. You get to pick, actually, with the spell slots you have, you don't have to pick. You could bless all four of your allies if you wanted.

I want to bless all the boys.

Let's go.

All the boys are getting bless. Can I just ask, you have second level spell slots, right? But not third level.

I do not have third level spells.

So you can bless up to four people.

You said bless all the boys.

Oh, no.

Oh, what's a boy?

What is A man.

I. I guess I should.

Don't put me.

Is.

Don't put me in this corner.

You don't have a penis.

But I identify as a male.

Okay, Penis less male.

You do have four people you can get. So I suppose the question is there's nothing stopping you from blessing someone who's uncomfortable conscious and bleeding out. But you could bless any four people that you want, including yourself if you wish.

So I healed myself and blessing is for attack rolls and saving throws, which.

His death saving throws would count for.

Let me.

Let me bless the penis blessing. Absolutely. So everyone but you.

Everybody but me.

Very selfless move. And then you heal yourself to make sure you don't get taken down. Well done. That is a great turn for Gray. Greg.

Good job, Greg.

Schemo would have gone now, but Schemo ain't going. Schema is smushed on the ground. However, that does leave Tashlin Yafira who is getting very upset right now and looking around for who she wants to target. There's one person she obviously does not want to target, but she is looking at loud trade wind now. Loud trade wind. There's not. Oh, sorry.

Europe.

That's right. So she sees you facing off against Ziraj. That is enough to prompt her into action. She's gonna try to climb up to where you are. Right.

Bring it on.

And ooh. She starts to climb up. She does not make it all the way there. But she doesn't fall either because she's very good at climbing. She's gonna try again with her bonus action now to get up the rest of the way. She succeeds. She heaves herself up and goes two verse one. Let's go.

Let's do it.

She rushes at you just as Zerage is setting up the pick with his spear. She's running at you with her her own great sword. Great sword versus great sword fight about to happen. But she can't go reckless, so she just gets the one swing. Oh, and she has a plus eight on this. Does a 15 hit your armor class by any 15? That's your armor class at the top there.

Does I have a 15 armor class?

I'm so sorry to say that's a hit on the dot, unfortunately.

All right, that's fine. Hey, listen, I said I could. Could die here, right? Right.

Her full damage would be 6 plus 8 plus another 5. So that's 14, 19 in all. However you're raging, you take half damage from this. So nine more damage against you. Loud Trade wind is going to bring you up to 44 points of damage. Yeah, yeah. Hanging in there.

Hanging in there.

And then she's going to do. Do her second what? And that is going to be. Oh, and you're reckless. I should be giving her advantage on this. So she just hit you a second time. Let me roll each one just again to see if there was any critical hits. No critical hit and no critical hit. So she hit you a second time, but just for regular damage. And this is going to be, let's see, 10 plus seven. 17 plus another five is 22. That's 11 more damage against you. Is going you up to 55.

I got three left, boys.

Is.

I got four left.

Absolutely four left. 100%. And then Tashin Yafir is going to use her action Surge, which is a fighter ability that gives her one more action. She spins around and she's going to make a tough decision. She could either make two more attacks or she could heal herself. She's gotten pretty injured, though. She might prefer to heal herself rather than swing it at you again. So if I roll a 3 or less on this D6, she's going to heal. In fact, a 4 or less, she's going to heal herself. On a 5 or a 6, she's going to keep swinging. She's going to heal herself. Just barely. She does this spin and falls back and she does the Kylo Ren like hitting her own wound like, it's all right. I'm fine. And she uses her second wind to heal herself.

4.

It's going to be this much. Plus. Oh, 9. She rolled pretty well. Plus another 6, she heals back. 15 of her hit points. So now Tashin has only taken 20 points of damage, so she's tougher than ever. But you're still standing. Loud trade wind. That's going to bring us to silent trade wind. Now Silent trade wind, what would you like to do?

I'm thinking maybe we heal a squad a little bit.

No, no. Kill.

Let's kill.

Kill.

I think it gives us the. I think healing up now gives us more. Gives the G. The team more points to finish later.

Who's. Who's. Who's on the ropes? On the ground right now.

Right now. Dabil Star Song is up next, and he's only got seven hit points left and he's down on ground level.

Don't waste him. Take him out.

You think we.

Yeah, go.

Oh, he's up next.

So they start his whisper.

That boy.

Yes. Yeah.

Shoot that guy.

We knew.

Listen. This life that we chose, we knew there could be casualties.

So we take them out.

Yeah.

And then. And then it's our turn again. So maybe we heal more guys.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay. It makes more sense. What?

What?

You got any details on that risk, Tim?

I mean, I would say that healing would keep your teammates up and running, but you can prevent him from getting a whole turn right now. Now.

Right.

I would also say that Dabble Star Song, seeing you menacing him and like potentially approaching him, starts to go, no.

No, no, no, no.

You, You. You. You want.

Want.

Want two. Two to help. Help Mimi. And he's trying to mind control people, so be very careful. If he goes, he might be able to turn the tide against us. Can we. Also worth noting, most of your spells affect multiple people. So you'd be really good at hitting all the people up there on the rooftop. But that was. Would catch loud your trade wind your brother in the blast as well. Similar to fireball.

That's fine.

You meant that stuff you were saying about mom earlier.

Dude, it's fine. She never loved me.

Did you? But what you were saying about earlier, did you mean that?

What was I saying?

Like I'm a mama's boy because she didn't love me. She didn't mean it. That she. You think she really didn't mean it.

You are a mama's boy. All right, but just so you know, she doesn't give a about me. She threw me to the wolf.

Wolves, literally.

Will she be mad if you kill your brother?

Yeah, she wouldn't happy.

She wouldn't want that.

She might be happy. She. She threw me out as a baby.

Yeah. She just want to make you stronger with the wolves. You know what I mean? She's trying to toughen you up.

Let's just kill your mom.

You want to kill mom?

Yeah.

What is.

What does mom do? Threw me to the wolves.

As a baby.

As a baby, You.

Look how.

Look how strong you are now. You love the wolves.

I only have four left.

You want to hang out with the.

Wolves over bad, Send me back with the wolves in heaven. All right. All dogs go to heaven.

Mom. Mom would have wanted me to heal.

No, you better kill this guy. Mom wanted me to heal. If you don't know this guy and this guy gets to go in a turn, he might get.

All right, I got a question. I got it. So we have this. We have the potion that, like, reads the mind, right?

Yes.

Can we find out if on his next turn, if he was going to kill us? If his. If. If his choice was to kill us?

I will say you don't need the mind reading potion to know he was going to fight.

He's going to fight us.

All right.

Try to mind control one of you specifically.

That's good info. That's good columns, Tim. I appreciate that. Appreciate that. Yeah.

So we'll kill him.

We'll kill him to wait, but do.

We lose a little bit?

No, kill him all the way so he can't go.

Okay, well, so we don't want to lose a guy.

We gotta make an end. Kill this guy. All right, we're gonna.

We're gonna heal.

Heal.

Dude, I've had a terrible life. I. Death would be. Would be like healing rescue for me. I've wanted to die.

Does she get to. Does she get to hang out with the moth in the afterlife?

Yeah. And the wolves.

Absolutely.

And me and our.

And my dad, the Barbarian, incidentally.

Technically, you can do both of these if you do a healing word as your bonus action. And you can heal anybody with a healing word. And then you could use your action to do not one of your more powerful spells, but a spell that still might kill Dabble.

Yeah, we're going to do that.

Me.

Let me make this easy for you, mama's boy. If you heal me, I'll kill you.

He wants you to do it.

I'm like Lieutenant Dan. I was meant to die out here.

So if I heal you, you're.

I will come for you.

And you. You're not going to come for mom, though, right?

I'm going to come for mom, too. I'm going to kill all of our.

All right. Yeah. All right, all right, all right, fine. We're going to. We're going to attack that guy.

You're going to kill big guy. Oh, my God.

Brother.

Yeah.

My own brother. He's going to kill. Kill Mom.

I'm gonna kill Mom.

You know what I'm saying? What?

I might not die. I'm a survivor. I might not die.

I'm saying like it means nothing.

Game aside, how old is your mom? It says a lot about kill his own brother. Yeah.

That means nothing.

That is right. All right, go kill this guy.

Silence.

I might still survive.

Yeah, you can still live.

Zach, what's your tattoo say?

That's a good point. We gotta say.

What does it say?

What does Your tattoo.

It does. It just says we gotta save the team.

No, no, the team. No, you've already made your decision. You're killing this guy.

I want you to. My brother's keeper.

It does. It does.

And now he's about to kill.

But he said he wasn't My brother.

He's not going to kill me. He's just not going to save me.

That's. I would save you, but you said you were going to kill me.

I will. And Mom, I don't know.

If you're built like that to kill me, I will.

He's calling you out.

I save you, I'll kill Mom in front of you.

All right.

Watch. You're going to watch mom bleed out.

So you're going to kill me, mom, and yourself?

Yeah, yourself first.

No.

No.

How does that work?

I want to. Can I use the mind potion on my brother to find out what he's.

Really going to do?

Yeah, I don't want to do that. We're just going to. We're just going to save him.

No, absolutely. If you give him a healing word as a bonus action, you'll still have your action to do other stuff. But the healing word. I will ask. Do you want to burn up just a first level, second level, or third level spell slot? You've used up one second level. That's all. You got plenty of spell slots still.

Yeah, we'll just do. We'll do a slot.

Can I reject. Reject it. Can I kill him?

Technically, no. Technically, he can. He will. He will. You know, I don't think you can. You can. Like, if he tries to give you a potion, you can put your mouth.

There's no consent there.

It's apparently no consent when it comes to healing. No. No.

But I did ask.

I. I mean, yeah, and I said no. I get. Healing works better if you ask. You know what you're doing again. But, like. Yeah, I don't.

There's a word for this.

It's.

It's healing.

No, it's not. I don't want to be healed.

All right. All right. You won't heal.

You won't.

Or so I respect. I respect my brother's words. If he doesn't want to be healed, then we'll attempt to heal him. And. And it won't heal.

Maybe.

I don't know.

I don't want to be healed. I want you to kill this guy.

He doesn't mean that.

All right? So we're going to heal you because. Because you don't. You don't respect the family. So we're going to do what you don't want to be done. You're going to get healed.

Got him. Okay.

Are you doing a first, second, or third level healing spell?

Which.

Where's the. Where's.

Most healing would be through third level. Hope.

You hope.

We'll give him a two.

Give him a two. Absolutely. Another second level spell slot. Roll me 2D4.

Trade wind.

You're a mid shaped die.

I hope you. I hope you enjoy watching your mom get gutted like a pig.

Well, at least I spend a decent amount of time with her. You know. Two of the pyramids.

Two of the pyramids. Bingo. And it'll usually be the number on the bottom or the top. Whichever number stays the same when you rotate it. These ones are a little tricky. So this one right here. Okay.

First pyramid.

Four.

Four. Nice.

Three.

Three.

Three. So seven plus another three for your wisdom. That's ten hit points that la your brother. Loud Trade Wind is getting back now.

He is still going to die when VG goes.

Now that was your bonus action where that could happen. You still have your action to do. Either a hammer blow with your all or a sacred flame can trip against one of your enemies. Or you could do something else with your action. But you can't do any of your higher level spells with your action.

So Sac Sacred Flame would take out or help take out some of the guys up top.

Either Zhaj up top, Tashin up top or Dabble right next to you. D go next.

Dabble goes next. So yeah, we. We'll. We'll attack Dabble if he goes next.

Absolutely. If I pass the saving throw, he gets no damage. If I fail it, he'll get 2.2d8. He sees this fire coming down from the sky and for a moment as the fire is called down, it has the voice of your mother as it says get away from my boys. And he fails the saving throw. Absolutely. He's like that's your mom. Ah. And as the fire hits him, you get to roll 2d8. But you must get 7 or higher to kill Davil Star Song.

First one is a 3. First one is a 3.

4 or higher on this. This one at 205 more damage is going to bring dabble down to just 2 HP. Yet if you had maybe if you had not healed, you could have used more power spell unfortunately shouldn't have healed.

So.

So unfortunately Davel Star Song is up now. Is going to roll to see who he is going to go after after he sees Greg. But he also knows paladins are particularly good against mind control. He's just going to roll O Greg. He seems to really want to go after you. I kind of hope he kills me. Greg. He sees you and Greg, remind me, where are you? You had just been healing yourself 100%. Just reminding myself Would Blessing have interacted with either of those attacks? It would not have. Okay, so when he sees you Blessing and healing, he says, you literally listen, you don't want, want, want to fight, fight, fight. Me, me, me. And as he's getting into your mind, I'm gonna need you to roll one saving throw against mind control.

20.

Yes, absolutely.

It's a seven.

Seven. Greg, I am sorry to say you, who have been staying out of the sibling rivalry the whole time, have suddenly realized we shouldn't be killing the Doom Raiders. The Doom Raiders are great Dabble Star Song. So cool, in fact. And let me just see how in fact, he's charmed you so well. He seduced you a little bit. He kind of always like, he is a beautiful bard. Bad luck and kind of bad luck, I suppose just his. His soft lips, what it might be like to rest one finger upon them. And you're getting caught up in this. And he goes, quick, help me, protect me. And sure enough, you find yourself, without even thinking about it, falling in line right next to Dabble Star Song. And the next person to go after him, you will attack. And in fact, you get two attacks. He has you go after Trade Wind right now. And the next attack, he'll have you save for whoever is trying to go after Dabble next. Roll me one D20 against silent trade wind, please.

A19.

That is going to be a hit against Silent Trade Wind. Can you remind me, what is your main weapon that you would be using?

So I would be using a long sword?

Long sword, absolutely. Would you be. I'm going to say you're not dropping your shield. You're protecting yourself. Yourself still. Roll me 1d8. What's your damage say? 1d8 plus 3. Probably for the long it is 1d8 plus 3. Absolutely. 100%.

6.

6 plus 3 is gonna be 9 damage on trade Wind. Then I'm gonna ask you to please smite Trade wind for another 3D8. You've dealt nine so far.

My first smite ally.

Five.

Okay. Two. Two.

Oh.

Oh.

Does that count?

I usually don't count if it falls off the table. That's just my superstition. I'm thinking you'll roll lower than that against your teammate. Two.

Two.

Okay, perfect. That worked out. So 18 damage in total against you. Trade Wind is going to be doubling the damage you currently have. You already had 18. You get another 18. You are down to 3 HP left. In that case, Silent Trade Wind, I am sorry to say that was Greg's preemptive attack. That Davil had him do. Wayne, we are back around to you now. What is it would you like to do?

What does history mean?

Oh, history is just like knowledge of history. So like Blackstaff Academy. You could have learned more about that school. The history of Water Deep. I'd even use history for, like, knowing where someone's potion shot might be. That sort of thing.

Okay, I've got Fireball.

You do have. Oh, my God. You have Fireball. I forgot all about that.

I have Fireball.

You could nuke the rooftop with a fireball and get both Ziraj and Tashlin. The warrior and the archer who. We still have a lot of hit points left. Dabbles down to two hit points left, but he'd be not within fireball distance.

Okay.

I would also, of course, course hit loud trade.

Wind Loud trade. Who wants to die?

I want to die.

What's Erlich up to right now?

Ehrlich is unconscious.

Yeah. Remember he's penisless. Yeah.

Can I take a picture of him being unconscious just to save for a future reference that he fell asleep?

Yes, yes. You don't have a camera, but you can visual, like, look at him and stare at him. So then in the future, when you make illusions appear, you can create an illusion of what he looks like in a360 rotavision. Like complete, accurate accuracy without his genitals.

And I'll remind everybody that while he was supposed to be working with us, he was actually just asleep at 100 like a bum.

Okay.

It's the middle of the day.

I know, but that's the kind of guy that he is, and he's gonna deny it later.

He's a penis less snapper.

Yeah. I think I want to do Fireball. And I want to. I want to take everybody out. I'm sick of the footing around here.

Thank you.

I. I want to destroy everything and everyone that's in my way.

Absolutely 100%. If you want to do maximum damage, you can definitely get Zeraj and Tashlin in same fireball. That would be 8d6 damage. In fact, roll me a d20 just to see if, like, if you roll really well on this, Dabble might have stumbled in the right direction.

17.

17. I was looking for an 18 or higher to get Dabble as well, but you are absolutely getting both Tashlin and Zeraj. You can roll 86. And you and you. 100.

Okay. D6.

Yeah.

Yes.

I'll roll for Tashlin. Failed the saving throw just barely. And so did Z. Even though he has a bigger bonus. Yes, 100%.

Okay.

I just rolled a two.

Two. Okay. And that was the first D6. Is that right? You get to roll eight of them in all.

Okay, six.

Okay.

Five.

Five.

Okay.

Three.

Three. So that is. Is 14 for the first half and then what'd you get for the next one? One. Okay.

Another one.

Ooh, five. Ooh, five. Okay.

Two.

Two. Okay, so the second half you got nine. And for the first half I must have done my math wrong. Yes. 16. So that is going to be 25 damage against both of them who failed their save saving throw. Tashin's back up to 45 damage on her. Now, Ziraj had. Oh, is this gonna be enough against Siraj?

Yes.

Siraj has taken 25. He had 53. He had 76 in all. You have dealt 78 damage, Zeraj the hunter.

Yeah.

Science dead amazing. Tashlin is more than halfway dead. DS down to two hit points left. Could I see a roll with advantage? Because you have advantage against these explosions.

Okay.

14.

14. You can roll one more time to see if you do any better, but that should be enough. 5 with a plus 2 bonus. I believe your spell save DC is 16. So that's literally on the dot. Just enough to take half damage, which is good because you don't take half fire damage from rich rage. So you got it down from 25 to 12 damage. And is that enough to take you down? It's not. You have two GP left. By my account, by my accounting, yes. So you're down to your last 2 HP, but you're still standing. So is Tashlin, but Zera slips off the roof to his death. Well done.

I'm doing this.

Erlich, we are back around to your turn. Turn. And while you have been injured, you have not been completely killed yet. Roll me one D20. And if you get a natural 20, you wake up. If you get a 10 or higher, you slip closer to stabilizing. But if you get a nine or less, you are dead, I am sorry to say.

Oh, no.

D20.

D20. What are you doing?

PFC was.

I was.

No, we're trying to get Shane to take a picture.

I know I was unconscious for the. For the game and PFC, it was a bit. Yeah.

18. 18 is so close to waking up. The good news is you are still.

Oh.

Oh. The blessing applies here. Roll me one D4. And if you can get up to a 20, I'll say this counts. Roll a D4 and as long as you don't get a one, you're waking up right now, Erlich, with one hit.

Point are the D4s. The pyramids.

The pyramid, exactly right. You just need to not get the one, which is whatever number's on top.

You got a one?

Is it a one? I'm very sorry to say that right now you are not waking up, though you are sl. Your eyes again, slightly blessed all you could bl. And, yeah, that'll be your turn. It would be Zero's turn, but he got taken out by the fireball. So we're up to loud trade winds. Turn. Loud trade wind. What would you like to do? Tashlin is facing off against you now, and she has, like, 30 hit points left. Maybe.

Yeah, I'd like to kill my mother, abs.

Absolutely. And for just a moment, when the sacred flame had been called down, you see a ghostly shape sort of appearing. And she's only not talking to you. She's talking to silent trade wind over here.

You don't have to do this.

Like, I've just managed to channel enough energy to be here to try to help you out. But the problem is that my life essence is in this illusion, so if anything were to happen to it, I just need to. And, you know, if you attack that, like, ghostly image of your mother, it will deal damage to her.

So, yeah, I'd like to attack. And I'd like to say, hey, hey, mom. Remember. Remember me? I was your firstborn.

You, as you turn to jump from the rooftop to, like, land on the illusory form of your mom to Ashland is like, whoa, where are you going? I thought we were having a fight. Do you say anything to Tasha as you jump out of the fight with her?

Yeah, I say to her, yeah, I'm having a fight. The one I've been trying to have since the day I was born.

Intimidation, check. Tashin goes. Oh, that's hardcore. Roll with advantage. Tashlin loves this stuff. She's eating it up.

So he'd be dead if it wasn't for the human healing.

It's just.

What did I say to him before he healed me?

It is true.

I'm going to kill our mom.

I'm going kill our mom if I. If I survive this.

What?

Roll me 2d20s to see if this impresses.

16.

No, I didn't.

One, take an attack of opportunity. Get out of melee with her.

Whoa.

I want to see how this goes down. And she's, like a wrestling fan putting, like, her arms on her waist, like, oh, she's, like, leaning in, putting her arm. Arm on her mouth like this. Is exciting. I would like you to please roll a D20 to jump off the roof.

2.

Roll one more time. You have advantage because you're raging.

Seven.

Seven. But you have, like, a plus. Where's your sheet? Sorry. Like a plus, athletics. Did you get a seven? I was looking for a 15 or higher to take no damage. So you're gonna take just. Just 1d6. Well, it'll be 2d6, but halved by your rage, so it would have been seven. You take three more points of damage when you stick the land, actually.

Oh, no.

You had two HP left. You go to attack your mom, and you go, hey, mom, remember me? Your firstborn? You jump off. Tashan goes, whoa, this is epic. And as you land, you land on your foot wrong. You twist. You stumble forward. It turns into a roll, and you're just like, boom, boom. Like somebody who jumped out of the car. Turn type thing, just rolling along. Boom. You land at your mother's feet.

Died of dying.

You're unconscious. You are unconscious. Oh, silent trade. I would like you to roll for your mother. The higher you roll, the more compassion she has for her firstborn. Oh, wow.

The higher. The higher roll, the more compassion she has for the son that just tried to murder her.

Yes.

Okay. Which dice would you like me to roll?

Her first book born.

She's got 11 points of compassion.

Okay. She's like on a. She's right in the middle, kind of. You see her looking down, and she looks back at you, and she says, we must heal your brother. And she's extending a hand like she can heal as well. Do you encourage her to heal or do you encourage her? No.

Yeah. Everybody's feelings are valid in this situation. You know, you get thrown to the wood wolves. The wolves definitely didn't teach our older brother to try to attempt to kill loved ones. But, you know, we have compassion and love for the family. We love ours. We're going to try to heal.

Absolutely. She is going to say, I'm glad that I taught you well. And she puts a hand on your shoulder like you have turned the other cheek. And we together will heal your brother. And on your turn, she is going to heal him while you can do other stuff if you want want. But great turn for, let's see. Loud trade wind. That is going to bring us to Greg next. But, Greg, right now, you're defending Davel at the moment, you could roll another saving throw to see if you can try to break free. At this point.

14.

14 with your bonus is exactly enough that you would be Overcoming for just a moment, your instinct takes to protect Dabble Star Song. But you can't attack him because you would not have not fully broken free. What would you like to do? Tashin's up on the rooftop. So I see this drama happening.

I can't attack him.

I can attack her. Yes, you could. 100%.

Do I have the arm strength to throw my javelin?

Yes, you do. 100%. Absolutely. You can throw your javelin. That would be a D20 plus whatever the attack bonus is probably plus six.

It is.

It is. Damage is 1 D6 plus three.

1 D6 plus three. And what is the attack just before that? D20 plus six. Six, absolutely. So we'll add a plus six to this nine. You get to throw two javelins. A 15 is not enough. It pings off her armor.

Unfortunately, seven.

Seven is unfortunately a miss. Your heart is not in it. Dabble starts to be like, no, she's on. On my team, our team. And you're, like, getting confused, used and stuff. Should I be attacking her? But your javelins are missing, I'm sorry to say. You go back to defending him. Unfortunately, catastrophic turn. That will bring us to Tashlin's turn next. And Ashlyn doesn't have anybody who do attack up there, so she is going to climb back down. She doesn't make it with her bonus action, but she does make it with the rest of her movement. She's going to see who she's going to go after. She sees Erlich unconscious, but I'll roll again just to see if that would be her highest priority or not. Not. Let's see. Nope, nope, nope. Okay. Silent trade wind. She sees that you have been healing your teammates and stuff. I do think that between you and Erlich, she would be choosing to go after you, probably in that case. So she is going to charge over to you. She is going to attack you two times, or at least with the first attack. We'll see how that goes.

Ooh, no. With a plus seven on that, does a 15 hit your armor class? What is your armor class is a 19. Ah. She misses you, it clangs off of your armor, and then she hits you with the second one, I am sorry to say. And that is going to be these. That's 12 plus another 13. Plus 5 is 18 more damage. Silent trade wind. That is enough to knock you unconscious. I am sorry.

Oh, what a shame.

And so, as you fall unconscious, that's the end of Tashlin's turn. Silent trade wind, please. Roll me a D20 to see if you Slip closer to death now or come back to life.

It's I roll six.

Six. You slip closer to death wind, bro. And at this point, Davil's Star Song is up now and trying to mind control even more. People, people. Erlich's unconscious, so not him. Silent trade wind is also unconscious, so not him. It would be loud trade wind. She. Oh, you're unconscious as well, so only be right now. She likes you. And Greg, you're. Or, sorry, Dabble is. Let me see if Dabble's sizing up correctly who you actually are. He starts to get suspicious of the other muscle, Mommy. And he says, listen, listen, I'm gonna need your help too. Roll me a wisdom saving throw to avoid falling under his control.

And I've also. I've got counter charm.

Oh, yes.

Okay. Do you start playing your counter charm now?

Yeah, yeah.

Roll your saving throw with advantage. And what music or saying are you saying to. To counter his. His magic? Oh, absolutely. I need your help. I need help rounding him out. Roll two times. You have advantage now, thanks to your counter charm with a D20. Bingo.

Three.

Three.

Roll one more time.

Eight.

19.

19 is enough. And as you start to play the counter charm, Greg, please roll again to break free with advantage on this.

14.

14 is enough. But roll one more time. Just see if you critical hit. 19, 19 is definitely enough. You break fully free, both of you, from Davil's charm. And he shrieks no. And he starts getting ready to run because of the order of operations here as he's running away. Attack of opportunity for Greg, who's right next to him. Roll me one D20, Greg, to see if you can take him out as he runs. 19. 19 is enough. He only has two hit points left. I don't need a damage roll. Do you knock out or kill Davil Star Song?

Kill.

I want to kill him.

Kill him. Absolutely. You just lop his head right off. D, Star Song, the pretty boy. The Doom Raiders is down now, leaving only Tashlin, the final Doom Raider. Well done. That brings us around again to Wayne.

Let's go, boys.

Wayne, what would you like to do?

I just want to get this straight. So right now, it's me, Greg, and.

Tashlin absolutely is correct. Everybody else is unconscious and bleeding out right now. Now, both of you have healing magic left over. There's. If you say I'm getting the whole team up and I mean, you need to deal with Tashin as well as the problem, but you can get to your team and save them, but you.

Need to do what about what? About these guys, moms.

I mean, you see her hovering there like, oh, I don't know what to do here. And she can't heal without him as like a channeling device kind of.

So everyone is passed out.

But we can heal.

You have healing.

What if we bring back her boys for a price?

Oh, can.

She can only bring back one.

She has to choose.

Yeah.

Choice. Absolutely. Yeah.

Yeah.

So you can heal one and you ask her, who should she. Who do you want her to bring back? I would like both trade wins to please roll. And whoever gets the higher roll D20 is the one she's going to. To suggest.

And also she should know that we're going to attack the one that does not get healed.

You're born first.

I. You're born first. I insist. You're born first.

No go.

I. You were born first. Go with the wolves.

Oh.

Two.

16.

16. And she goes. I'm sorry. I'm just leaving it up to the pure reality of the situation. I. I think he is the one that you can more easily save and just roll me a D20 insight check. This is. This is for Wayne right now. Wayne, since you're the conscious one, roll me one D20. And if you have the insight skill, you can add that.

I bet you love this.

I wrote a 20 with a 20.

Wow.

You know with absolute certainty that he had advantage that he didn't even need on that roll. She was favoring silent trade wind for certain.

Certain.

And he was always gonna win it at the end of the day with his advantage. So she says, I think you should heal the cleric because he'll then be able to heal other people. And she looks over at loud trade wind and just shakes your head.

I think. I think this is an evil. And I think that loud trade wind turned out better.

Yeah.

For not having been raised in her house.

Yes.

Oh, wow.

The wolves taught him well. It taught him about communicating community, talking about teamwork, sacrifice, sacrifice, nature being noble, humility, pack above self. Therefore, I think the reality is we have to kill the mom. I think she's going to just go on and create more monsters.

Absolutely. You. You know that she is vulnerable in this current state. Stating you attack her, it will hurt her.

Like, how vulnerable would she like to join the party that we got going on?

You can roll a persuasion check on her for sure.

Do I want to sex mom or kill her?

What about we both her?

She. Hey, she puts out big time.

Yeah, but I think if we impregnate her, our spawn is at risk of Being abandoned.

Well, we would definitely give that spawn to the wolves.

We'd have to.

And name him after Loud Tradewind. Loud trade wind 2. Who, like, comes out of the the womb looking just like the original Loud Trade one.

I wouldn't mind big cat playing like a boy. Next game.

Yeah. All right.

So, child.

Yeah. So maybe, maybe, maybe Greg and I play, you know, Russian roulette with our sperm, and we see which one gets to impregnate her.

Let's do it with her.

Figure out later.

Each of you make a persuasion check on the. On mother.

I don't want to do this if there's no consent, though, there.

If you roll well enough, she will give you consent.

Okay.

Okay.

If you're a really. Well, she give you double consent.

Double.

Double consent. That's material at 12.

Pretty good. She's into it. 14.

14. She's into this a little bit more is what I would say. And you see her kind of nodding along with your suggestion. She is very interested in what you are putting down right now. And if you want her to come in a more physical form, you see her start manifesting and she goes, you know what? What? Maybe I should hang out here more physically. And as she starts to appear suddenly from where she has just jumped off the rooftop, Tashlin goes, whoa, whoa, whoa, guys. Leaving without me.

She's jealous.

And I would like you to roll a persuasion check now. No advantage or disadvantage. All one dice roll to see is Tashlin down for this?

Eight.

With an eight. I. You know what? No. One more roll. I had rolled to see how into it she was. She was pretty into it.

I. I did worse, Tim.

I. Oh, no. With the eight. Tashen says, no, wait a minute. You got to choose. Her or me. And she raises her sword, and the mother looks back and forth like I don't know what's going on. Exactly.

Yeah, I think. I think we got to kill Tashlin, right?

We could let her go.

No, she's trying to kill us, though. She's. She's got her sword out.

She's like, through tears like my fellow Doom Raiders. You killed them all.

I did.

I did.

I'll kill her.

You mom.

Yeah, that sounds good.

Deal.

Absolutely. Wayne, you didn't persuade her to go in on a three threesome with you, but four way. Yeah, absolutely. That's right. Absolutely. Erlich would be up next. Erlich, just roll me a D20. If you get a critical hit, you're jumping in this fight. As long as you don't get a 9. Or less. You're not dead.

Locked in.

You got a four.

Like I'm sorry to say there is a sudden spurt from out of where his groin was and he bleeds out loud. Trade wind, please. Roll me a D20. But even if you get a. If you get a one right now, you die. But that's the only way you die. 14, you're actually stabilizing right now. You're doing okay, but you don't wake up. And then Greg, that brings us to you. Right before Tashan would get to go, you have this one turn finisher to deal finisher. 30 points damage to her finisher.

Can I do compel duel so she doesn't fight anybody?

I love it.

You do compel duel. She'll roll her saving throw just barely. She has to fight you now 100%. So she's in a face off one on one fight with with you. You can attack her two times and if you hit her and smite her twice, that is an easy.

Can I sacred weapon. A lance.

Roll me a D20. See if you do quickly enough, it normally costs your whole life. It's a two, I'm sorry to say. You know, either do weapon or you can hit her twice.

Smite.

I'll hit her twice.

Absolutely. Roll me one D20 for your first attack.

13.

13 just to get out of the way. That's just barely a hit. Roll the second attack now to see if that one hits. 16. 16. Both of those are hit hits. Roll me two D4 plus six for both physical hits because each one's one D8 plus three. Four. Four.

Okay, three.

Three. So seven plus six is going to be 13 so far. You just need actually not even 17. You only need 16 more. And if you smite her two times, you get a another six D8. Actually you would have to do a first and a second level smite. So it'll be five D8, but I think you can get it. You just need 17 on 5D8 to deal the final.

Let's do 17. Let's try, let's try a one.

Oh, oh, oh.

A two.

You got three left. A four. Ooh, you need 10 on these last two.

A one.

Oh, no, you need it. Not possible. And an eight and an eight. Oh, she's down to two hit points left. Now you compel duel against her, so she has to keep fighting you. Now she looks up at you and goes, I yield. And plants your sword in the ground. Do you accept this surrender or do you instead with your bonus action, deal the Final blow to take her down.

Down.

We've killed enough today. It's time to create life.

Absolutely one of us. Now then, I would like to see one final persuasion check on mama trade wind just to see how this goes with advantage on this.

Seven.

Seven is okay.

But the last name after the husband ran out.

Quit doing that.

Six.

Six with a seven. And what's your persuasion bonus? Do you have a plus eight plus seven?

I have a plus six.

Plus six with a 13. She agrees to go on a date with you, but only if you also save her son. One of her sons, I would say. Now, in the meanwhile, let me just see two dice rolls from our paladin real quick to see how Tashlin's feeling about you.

A 14 and a nine.

Okay, with a 14 plus what? Your persuasion bonus.

Plus six.

Plus six. That's a dirty 20. Tashlin has mate swapped over to the paladin now. So she's now dating you. You're dating. Trade winds, mom. And it's going really well for you, I got to point out. I'm going to say it goes really well for you too. But only if you heal one of her sons do you agree to.

Well, so we're on a date right now.

You are.

That's a pretty forward topic to be bringing up on the first date.

What sons? You want me to say?

Yeah, I get nervous when I'm on dates. I kind of rather just go fly by moth.

Absolutely.

You know what? I'm going to save one of her sons. I'm going to save one of her sons. But. But under the condition that the son calls me dad, okay.

Oh, 100%. She agrees.

Rest of his life.

Yeah. And for all further adventures, she goes.

I'm sure he'll be okay with it all further adventures. I'd like to save Loud Trade Wind.

Loud Trade wind. You Suddenly find yourself 1. Waking up as a healing word spell is cast upon you. You did not die in time, if that's what you were hoping for. As you wake up, your mother informs you that she helped your teammate save you. But now he is my dad. Stepdad point.

You can call me. You know I'm a cool stepdad.

So we've. We've. We've beaten everyone.

And congratulations, everyone. You have defeated the Doom Raiders. You have saved. Saved the city for them and restored your reputation and leveled up to level seven.

Let's finish with this because I had the robot question. Rhobac.com promo code. Take 20 off your first purchase. Q zips, polos hoodies, joggers, shorts. Roback.com promo code take. Tim, when we see you again this summer, I would like permission to continue the storyline of the Trade Wind boys. And I would like to get vengeance in the this Life or next 100%.

I think this will be a little bit of a custom Trade Wind themed family adventure is what I'm going to be doing for our next.

And to answer Hank's question about the name, my father, Mr. Tradewin, was actually like the greatest dad ever. But he passed away during childbirth.

And then it was so disgusting to watch.

And then Mama Trade with Mama Tradewind said that I reminded her too much of the barbarian father and that's why she cast me out to the wolves.

How? Did your dad leave sperm for Zack?

No, we're half brothers. So she remarried, but she kept the name. But she was so disgusted with me because the reason that I am alive, he is dead. So she cast me out to the wolves remake Married, but kept the name Tradewind because she loved the barbarians so much. So that's the story that makes sense.

Yeah.

This is a rich narrative I'm gonna weave into our next adventure.

And I'm coming for you, buddy.

Absolutely.

You killed your father.

No. Well, he died because of childbirth.

I'd never do that to my dad.

Your dad's actually a.

We'll get that.

We'll get to him.

We'll get to him. You've never met him.

He's a big.

I'm just talk.

You never met him.

I might have further questions on my email before our next game. Absolutely.

His dad, from what I read in the scripture, was actually married to your mom. And then your dad came into town. Then she dumped his dad, married your dad. Your dad died, then she married, went back. She went back.

Yeah. And now sitting at home, just sitting, twiddling his thumbs. Well, your mom is out horn around.

Oh, my God.

I. I believe in by positivity. She wants to go on dates, let her go on dates. She's grown woman.

Find out more. Tim, you're the best.

Pleas you guys, great. Thank you so much.

I love this. This was like something totally new. Trying to attack five guys.

Absolutely. My team versus your team felt like it would be an appropriate way to play today.

Well, Max attacks five guys like every day around noon.

All right, we'll see everyone.

And. And that was it for the six female Chinese boy whispers. By the way, don't. Can't forget we made our name. Absolutely. Oh, hell yeah.

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