Transcript of Nick Offerman New

Hello everyone, welcome to another episode of Good Hang. Boy, what a guest we have today. Um, my brother, um, Nick Offerman, uh, who, uh, as you know, was instrumental in making Parks and Recreation the hit that it was and played the beloved Ron Swanson and is just a wonderful friend, person, actor. We talk about so many good things today. We talk about, um, uh, Parks and Rec, getting the job, how it felt to be on a show, um, that meant so much to us. We talk about Cleopatra, how he feels about her and would he hit that. And, um, we also, um, talk about his book Little Woodchucks, his amazing new book that is out now, and how he feels deeply about how important it is to to make things. So please, please start— get ready for Nick Offerman. But before we get to Nick, we always do this thing, right? We talk to somebody who knows Nick, we get a question to ask Nick, and we have the wonderful Aubrey Plaza joining us. Aubrey, April Ludgate, you know her, you love her. She's Zooming in from New York. Plaza? This episode is presented by Allstate.

Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking that the fake roast chicken is, in fact, a fake roast chicken before chomping into a wing? Rookie mistake. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates. Northbrook, Illinois.

Hello?

Hello? Hi, Ploz!

Hi!

Hi!

Thank you for doing this. I know you're about to go. I think you're about to go on stage.

Oh my God. Have you been sitting there since the last time I did your podcast?

Yeah.

I'm so sorry.

I live here now.

Oh my God.

And I know you don't have a lot of time, but I— there's— I felt like there was nobody better to ask a question to Nick Offerman than you.

Oh, I know. Well, first of all, you know that we are birth brothers.

Yeah, talk about that.

Nick and I have the same birthday, June 26th, the day that the Pied Piper led the children of the rats into the water. Real story, folks. And you can feel the Pied Piper energy coming out of both of us. Jason Schwartzman also has his birthday on June 26th. So does Paul Thomas Anderson, actually, but he's not in our club yet. But yeah, so we have this birthday text message chain, which I almost want to read out loud because it's so funny because we only write on it on our birthday and it's always in medieval talk. It's you.

Nick and Jason Schwartzman?

Me, Nick, and Schwartzman. Yeah.

Can you read just a little bit of it?

Okay, hold on. I got my phone.

Okay.

This is like sacred territory. Okay, here's one that Nick wrote. Mighty power. This was a couple of years ago. Mighty powers and health to you, my fellow birthday triplets. Let us dance under the moon and delight Gaia for another 12 moons with our dark shapes. And an emoji that I can't— don't want to describe. This is another one from Nick. Dear my birthday beauties, it's 9:00 AM on our birthday in New Zealand and I'm sending you both a massive load of my fulsome, oh, earth sign love. I thought it said urine when I read it on my birthday, but now I'm seeing it clearly. I thought he said a massive load of my urine.

That sounds like it could be him, but earth sign love, which—

Oh, earth sign love.

And earth sign, I believe, is bear-like, right? Bear-like.

Oh, the bear, right?

I wrote back, "And my load to you, my brother." But it was a different load that I was talking about. That's just a little taste.

That's a little taste. And it is how Nick talks. Do you remember meeting him for the first time?

I think it was probably literally on set. I don't remember. I think he scared me, you know, at first. He scared me a lot.

Why?

In a good way. No, just because I think— no, he was so funny, but I was always trying to replicate his behavior on set. I'll never forget. I mean, you guys all taught me how to really be on set because I didn't really— I'd only done one job, so I didn't know. But I remember Nick kind of put— not put me in my place, but kind of reminded me of something. I probably told you this story, but where I was like, you know how when you're on set, you get treated like— actors get treated like babies? And it's such a weird vibe. Like, when I haven't worked for a while and then I go back, I'm like, this is so weird. No wonder why actors get so weird, because everyone treats you like a baby, like you can't do anything. And I remember I was just sitting in my little chair or something, and I wasn't doing anything for a while. And one of the PAs came up and was like, do you need anything? And I was like, sure, I'd take a coffee or something like that. And then Nick was sitting next to me, like, reading a book or something, and he looked over and he went, don't forget that you can get up and get your own coffee.

It's right over there. And I know that sounds kind of like an asshole thing to say, but I didn't take it like that. I was like, you're fucking right. I was like, I don't need that little PA over there to get to walk over there in my eyesight and 'Pour me a cup of coffee.' I'm like— 'Cause you get in that zone on set where you just turn into, like, a couch potato, where you're like, 'Ugh.' And he remind— It, like, jolted me. I was like, 'I'm never gonna ask for coffee again, ever.' And I never have.

It's so true. And you never have. And anytime anyone brings you coffee, you just throw it in their face.

I slap it on the bottom so it goes— not only the liquid, but the cup, right on their forehead.

He's so— He is very paternal, and he was very paternal on set. Like, when Nick was there, he would know his lines, and he loved to goof around, but he wanted to get the job done. Like, he was daddy energy for sure.

Yeah, he was daddy. But he really did have— You both, though, you both had such a perfect balance of, like, professionalism and fun. And it was very, very good for me to witness 'cause it was like I wanted to— I wanted to be good for him and for you. I always wanted to be prepared, but then also be ready to fuck around. And yeah, I loved that about working with Nick.

Yeah. And I have to say, the April and Ron stuff started early. I think it was season 1 when you two started doing stuff together. And it was really helpful for both of your characters.

It was so helpful. I think it— I'm trying to remember. I have one memory of that. Remember that episode when we were in the grocery store or something? I think that was one of those early-on ones.

I'm thinking— I think there was an episode in season 1 when he hurts his neck and—

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Right? And he's stuck in the chair.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And then I go into his— I stand in his office. And I'm like kind of his assistant that day or something. And we barely say, like, anything to each other. We just, like, stare at each other, and then, like, it's almost like we were telepathic.

Yeah. Both of you are very good at saying little and talking slowly.

Exactly.

And it's funny that he uses the word "earth sign" because he really is, like— One could classify him as a bear. He is a bear.

He is a bear.

And he's a man in a very, um, you know, you don't find a lot of like men who can build things. I mean, in this profession.

I actually, I wonder if that's a lie. I don't think he can. I don't think he's actually doing it.

It's so weird to say, I've never actually seen him build anything.

You ever seen him with a hammer? I haven't.

Nope.

And I've seen where he does it, but there's other people in there.

So true. And he comes in and says, "I made this canoe," and it's like, "When?" Yeah.

When?

Yeah.

When exactly?

What question do you think I should ask him?

What does it feel like when you jerk off to every episode of Parks and Rec when you're watching?

Let's get a real question that I can actually ask him.

All right.

Okay.

I have 2 questions.

Okay.

One, have you ever seen a ghost? I want to hear, like, if he has any, like, other realm stories.

Ooh, interesting. I don't know where he would land on that in the— on the woo-woo scale of being open to that.

Me neither. Me neither. Like, for real, I want to ask him.

Yeah.

Like, do you believe— like, do you believe in ghosts? Like, do you believe in that? Have you had— do you have a good story? And do you believe in hell? No, don't ask him that.

I won't. Believe me, I won't. Okay. Okay. How about, do you remember a good time we had working together?

Sorry. Sorry.

You're right.

No, you're right. You're right. I just immediately want to know, like, if you had to haunt one person, In the afterlife, who would it be? And also, how'd you get started in showbiz? I don't know. Or any— am I— are these— is this anything?

Yeah, these are good. These are good.

Okay, here's my real question. Okay, if Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure happened to you in real life, What time period would you go to and who would you fight?

Perfect.

You know he's gonna have some—

Perfect, perfect question.

Okay, good.

That's perfect.

Who would you fight? And would you take me with you? Yes! 'Cause you know you want to. 'Cause you know you want to.

I mean, I have to say, you guys were like a strong duo for a million reasons, but both you and Nick have a fortitude, like a way where you could face You guys are very emotionally and physically strong. I mean, you and Nick were the only two cast members to play on the Parks and Rec softball team.

That's right. Still got my uniform.

All right. Well, we got our question. I don't want to keep you. You okay with time? All right. I'm gonna—

I'm not okay with time.

Okay.

I'm actually— But why? Do you want to do something else?

No, but you told me you only had 15 minutes. Okay, then I'm good.

I'm out. Baby, I'm out. Watch me. In less than an hour, I'm gonna be on that stage ripping apart.

What do you have to do between now and the show? I am interested before I let you go. What's your routine?

I'm literally supposed to be there in, like, 20 minutes. I'm gonna get a shower. I'm disgusting right now.

Oh, you're at home. Okay, you're not at the theater. We're okay.

I didn't time my day out very well.

Okay, okay, okay. Thank you for doing this.

But I can actually do anything. Yeah. If I really put my mind to it. It's gonna be a nightmare getting a cab. This is what I literally am going to do.

Yeah.

Get a shower. Power in like the mo— in like 2 minutes.

I believe in you.

Then I'm gonna run to Sixth Avenue and I literally mean it. I'm going to run. It's rush hour and I'm gonna hail a cab and that cab's gonna fly me up there and it's gonna be exhilarating. And then I'm just gonna, I just hope I won't, you know, hope I can get myself in character in time. I'll start in the cab.

I'm gonna let you go right now. Codependently, I'm worried about you. And okay, thank you for doing this. Thank you, Plozzi. Love you, miss you.

Love you. Love you and love Nick.

Yeah.

Okay. Okay.

Thank you.

All right. I hope you get out of there sometime soon.

Okay.

Drink water. Okay.

This episode is brought to you by Visible. Let's be honest, wireless can feel like a world of traps, expensive bills, hidden fees, and promises that just don't hold up. You start to feel stuck. Don't fall for the trap. Escape to Visible, the ultimate wireless hack. Get unlimited data and hotspot powered by Verizon. One line, all for just $25 a month, taxes and fees included. You heard that right, just $25 a month. Get great coverage and a reliable connection with Visible. Switch today at visible.com and start saving on wireless. Terms apply. See visible.com for plan features and network management details.

Woo-hoo-hoo!

Hold on, sit down on the mic. Get on the mic so I can— Oh my God, Nick. Okay, listeners, Nick has brought me a bag of treats. Well, God, I love— what do we got?

What do we got? You talk about making things.

Yes, which we will.

Um, this, this is, uh, the first project in my book is a slapstick, little woodchucks, because— and I thought you would appreciate this, um, when Lee and I— do you remember Lee, by the way?

Of course, yeah.

Um, we've had so much fun. We go on tour and Lee does what— she makes one of these on stage with a bench while I sing, and I'm a jackass. And when we were picked when we were figuring out the projects for the book, I said, look, I'm— any kid that you go in the woods with and you're like, let's find a good stick, let's make something, a good percentage of kids are going to be like, this is a sword or a gun, or like, this is, yeah, an implement of violence, let's make war, or whatever.

Yeah, it's—

we do, you know, I hate that about us, but yeah, we have it. So I said, we have to have a weapon in the book, but I have a comedy weapon, the slapstick.

May I see?

Yeah.

So for those that don't know, the word Slapstick came from this, and this says butt joint on it, which is a type of wood joint.

It's not something prurient.

You know, I've never used a slapstick.

Many haven't. I mean, I had never heard of one. Yeah, it's from like Commedia dell'Arte or Punch and Judy shows use them. And it's— and the great—

how do you do it?

The great thing is you can pretend to hit people and it makes a noise, and you know, and so you make a reaction.

Yes.

And you have comedy. You can do spanking. You can do fake spankings.

Um, I want to talk about your, uh, book and all the stuff you make in it. And what before— well, hold on, you also brought a water bottle.

Oh yeah, sorry.

Is that your Offerman Woodshop water bottle?

It is, yeah. But that I, you know, I have that too.

I have one of those.

I just got rid of the one you gave me, that huge one, from making it. Yeah, I finally wore it out like a month ago and I replaced it.

Are you a big— um, we're gonna get into a lot of stuff today, but how much water do you drink a day generally?

I've been doing a lot of working out because I did a job where I had to work out.

Brag.

Uh, not a huge deal. Um, I got— well, I got super jacked for—

how much can you lift? Like, what do you lift in these days?

Um, 2— I lift, uh Cybertrucks. I did 2 Cybertrucks.

You go up to them and lift them up?

And then I put people in them. But I got crazy. And then I did actual wrestling. Oh my God. I trained with a wrestler.

There's so many places to go from what you just told me because, number 1, I've wrestled with you in a small way on set, and you're very strong.

Thank you.

You have the body, like you have the carriage of someone who I feel like would be good at wrestling. Did you wrestle when you were in high school?

I tried. My uncle was a wrestler and I tried wrestling. And quite honestly, my dad was great at basketball and baseball. So I went out for wrestling one year and was like, no thanks.

How come?

It was really hard.

Yeah, it's so hard.

And I wasn't great. I didn't have the fire to like, "Argh!" to overcome.

The vision quest, if you will.

Yeah, exactly.

And in your 50s though, when you have to get buff, that's hard.

I was unable to approach the lunatic fringe. But I've always loved being an athlete. And so I've always maintained an athleticism. It was actually pretty fun. I worked with this great trainer named Grant Roberts who does this.

Yeah.

And he's super good at it. And it actually was only 4 times a week, 1 hour each. And there was nothing crazy, a bunch of protein.

But remember when Pratt was doing, um, Guardians? Like, he had to eat crazy amounts of food all the time.

The good thing is I'm a former pro wrestler.

Your character was—

there's no, like, shower scene where I'm, like, languorously, you know, showing my Chris Pratt abs.

Right.

In fact, it's in my contract with that language.

I'm glad we're talking about sports because I kind of want to start with young Nick Offerman today in high school in Minooka, Illinois. It's like athletic kid in the drama club.

Well—

And I'm not saying that those two things don't go together. It's just in the '80s, like, what was it like being a drama kid and a sports kid?

The thing is, I— there wasn't a lot of culture. And when I say this, I love my town and like, and my family, but like, there wasn't, um, there wasn't a lot of counterculture. Or, uh, so, so like, we had the Beatles but only their first 3 records, you know. Like, when I got to college and they were like, check out The White Album, I was like, what? I already loved Please Please Me. Um, and so they're like, the, the drama kids weren't fully drama kids and the jocks weren't fully jocks. Yeah, because I think the school and town were small enough And there just wasn't a lot to do. I was definitely a polymath, and I think it was just because I didn't— I hadn't figured out what I was going to do. And so I was just kind of trying everything.

Do you remember what made you try out for your first play? Like, you know, I definitely—

there's a famous— in my family, there's a famous, like, Super 8 movie from our fishing cabin when I was like 11. And it was when you go to the Cubs game and you get a free jersey, 3/4 length, like white body, blue sleeves, Cubs. And on the back was a Keebler Elf tree and the Keebler Elves sponsored the jersey. And I'm in that jersey and the camera's going around every family member and they're all like ducking away from the camera and it gets to me and I'm literally going, like just pointing at myself and making faces like, "If you have a camera, you found the right—" Funny that, like, you can see that sometimes in people where they're like—

even just your reflection in a— in, in like the store window or a mirror. Like, I used to do commercials on my bathroom sink in the mirror to myself, just like, one day, yeah, I'm gonna— someone's gonna be looking at my face. I mean, Megan had the—

my, my champion wife Megan Mullally had the wherewithal. Big fan. She knew, like, when she was a kid, she would sit in a room and, and do Barbra Streisand records into a hairbrush to the point where she can now perfectly— she's like a Broadway star because she did that. Yeah. I didn't have any— like, I knew I wanted to entertain, and I knew that I loved Jim Ignatowski, Christopher Lloyd's character on Taxi. Oh yeah. Where I was like, that guy's so weird and like scary, but he's super funny. I feel like that's somehow— that's what I'm drawn to. But I had no— it wasn't until late in when I was trying to figure out where to go to college that I was like, oh, you can— I can try and do acting as a job.

And, you know, very early on in your career and my career, we meet in Chicago, and we're both kind of in Chicago in the early '90s trying stuff, just like, you know, trying to get hired. And but how do you get to Chicago from—

like, how do you move there? I had this crazy moment, uh, where I was— I took my girlfriend, who was a year older than me, to audition at the University of Illinois for their dance department. And to this day, it's so miraculous. I must have been loitering in the hallway because these two theater students who I then came to know— I don't remember how it started. I wish I had a film of this. They were— somehow it was like, "Hey kid, why are you loitering in the hallway of the theater facility?" And somehow we struck up a conversation and they said they were theater students. And I said, "What does that mean?" And they said, "You can study acting." And I was like, "You gotta be fucking kidding me." Like, because I told my guidance counselor at school that I want to be an actor, and he was like, "That's not available. You can't do that." And then I said I wanted to be a musician, and he was like, Come on, what are you gonna do with that?

That'd be really interesting to dig into this guy's forgotten dreams. For sure. Sounds like there was a lot going on with him.

But they had told me you can't be an actor. So then I met these students that were like, we're going to the university, like this great state school, they have a conservatory program. And, and I said, okay, so you become an actor, then what? And they said, you can get paid to do plays in Chicago. And I was like, you I took them by the lapels of their coat and was like, "Are you fucking kidding me? You told me you can't do this." I heard no one makes any money. I had no idea that this was happening.

I just want to say I relate because I didn't know anyone who was an actor growing up. And although I wasn't discouraged in that way, it just didn't seem like a job. It was like, "What do you mean? Like, be an actor?" Yeah. Like, it just seemed like, "That's stupid." And so we meet in the early '90s. In the attic of a house.

That's right. All I remember is that you always loved to punch me in the arm.

Yeah. I have a thing about—

Which I took as a compliment.

Big time. It is. It's a love tap, really. But, you know, I think, you know, and again, I might— this might be revisionist history, but I remember when we met, I— you felt very familiar to me, even though, you know, we hadn't— we didn't know each other, even though at the time you were in kind of in deep character for a play.

Oh, right. It was— that's right, because it was during Clockwork Orange at Steppenwolf, and I was riding a big motorcycle, and I had a shaved head. I was experimenting with what Nick was going to turn out to be like. Um, I had a shaved head, but I kept the front inch of my hair right down into a full beard, and I dyed it different manic panic, like punk colors. Right. So it looked really scary. Really scary.

And it is the thing about you that's so great to your— to the Jim Ignatowski of it all, which is like you are able to look scary, but you're not— I'm not a scary person at all.

Which, which I've learned to appreciate. There was a time when I'd be like, shut up. Yeah, I'd pull my knife out on you if you said that. Yeah. But then I'd apologize.

Yeah. I mean, I remember talking to you I guess, punching you in the arm. I remember talking about the play that you were in. I remember that company. And, you know, at the time in Chicago, there were, like, different ways into the same creative experience. I feel like they are kind of a big soup now, but at the time, it was very important that, like, serious theater and then improv and sketch, and they were, like, never the twain shall meet.

00:24:46

I'll tell you something. So, this is, like, early to mid-'90s. I was so ignorant even then that if I had— I had no idea that— Like, I was a big fan of SNL as a kid. If I had any idea that there was a pipeline to— that you, you know what I mean, that you guys had even could get an audition or anything, I had no idea. In fact, I remember just thinking like, you guys, so you guys make stuff up in a bar? Like, what? We, we're performing works of literature.

Yeah, believe me, we felt that vibe, and we were like, yeah, we know, it's, uh, we have some notes. It's 3 hours long. Yeah. I have to say, if I may just digress, you have some of the best posture.

Wow. Thank you.

Of any friend of mine. And it feels like that— Thanks a lot. And that feels like it comes from a core training, like a— You have great posture.

I mean, I— Thank you. I— It's something that I do have to think about, especially after our show. Everything I got offered was like, "somehow overweight barbecue master." And it's all these guys in their tighty-whities in the mirror crying. One way or another. And the first couple, I was like, "Oh, this is interesting." And then I realized, "Oh, I need to stay in shape so that I can get a variety of roles." [Speaker:KARA] You love to transform your bod.

You are— You come from a physical body place with a lot of your characters. And I do feel like it's— You know, so Ron Swanson on Parks and Recreation had a physicality to him that felt like you understood really early on, um, and played with. And you talked about it a lot. It's really interesting to me. But before we get to that, because I do want to talk about that, let's just talk about you getting that part. I know you've spoken about it a lot, but I think the physicality was part of the part, was like what you understood really fast about him. Because you're right, if you— in the wrong hands, he's a joke. He's A total clown. Sure.

Um, I'm sorry, I'm being a little moved by, uh, we've never talked about our show, and I also haven't seen our show.

Wait, are you crying?

No, I'm not crying. I thought you were gonna cry. I was thinking about this pork dish.

We haven't talked about our show.

No, we haven't. And it's—

I mean, we've talked about it with each other all the time, for sure, but, but not in this—

I mean, no, not publicly. I mean, where do we even start? Totally like it. I just— listen, I just came here from a book tour in the UK. Yeah. And guess, guess how I close every show? I play 5,000 Candles. And I had the— these incredible— these two sisters named Flo and Joan opening for me. You would— they're these super funny sisters who do funny songs. And I mean, when you say— I'm in a crowd, a theater of 2,000 people, and you just say Parks and Recreation or Ron Swanson, The roof flies off the place. I know. And you're just like, "You guys, that was a long time." It was a long—

You know, my son just turned 17, which is when we started the show, 17 years ago. Holy cow. And I know, think about that. And the fact that there's still— People are still dressing up for Ron Swanson at Halloween. And people said that you got us through the pandemic. And people are saying, "My kid's just starting it." And it's unbeli— I mean, I know we knew, I gotta say, and I think I can speak for us, I'll speak for us both. We were old enough and I don't know, maybe a little, like we knew what we had at the time. You and me, we really did.

For sure.

And we tried to enjoy every minute of it. But like Ron Swanson is, would be in the hall, is in the Hall of Fame of characters. I mean, he is, he is this person that people feel con— what is it like almost 20 years later? Interacting with that kind of work? Like, how do people interact with you? It's interesting.

I mean, mostly, first of all, I'm so stupidly grateful, like, from start to soup to nuts. And also, people are so nice to me and respectful. I think of Ron, like, people approach me with a deference and also a little fear. Yeah. Um, but they're— they are really polite to me, where I usually have to say please call me Nick, or, you know, because they're shaking and they're scared.

Mr. Swanson, if I may. Yeah, may I approach Mr.— may I approach the bench?

They do. And, um, and so I'm— for all of that, um, I'm super grateful. It's certainly weird too. There, there are thorns on the rose, or, or, or pits in the peach, of like, um, Ron's politics, or Ron's— what Ron represented sort of as a paradigm Some people with poor reading comprehension were like, "Oh, he's a shotgun guy. Like, finally." So they mistook Ron for sort of things they wanted to represent in themselves. And usually it was something old-fashioned or right-wingish, like misogynistic or violent or anything like that. And so that's been weird too, where people love the character. And I've even had people argue with me online. Where they'll say something about, like, they'll say, "Ron definitely would have voted for this jerk." And I'll be like, "Hang on, hang on one second." And I'll call Mike Schur, the main creator and writer, and say, "Somebody said this, do you—" And he would give me a pair of— you know, he would whip out a perfect paragraph that's hilarious, but also why Ron For example, anybody that went from the world of business to the world of politics, Ron would think was a fool because Ron's like, "What are you doing?

You were a capitalist." And so then I would, you know, this is back when I used to participate when social media wasn't just a cesspool. But I would go back and say, "Here's what Mike Schur says." And they'd say, "Nope." They would say, "No, you guys don't know. You guys don't know shit about Ron Swanson." And I was like, well, I'm just going to leave it there. Yeah, I thought I did, but I guess you got me on that one.

Do people come up to you and say, "People call me Ron Swanson"? Yeah, I get that a lot with Leslie Knope. People say I'm like Leslie Knope, and usually that means, like, to your point, it can mean a bunch of different things. It can mean I work hard and I'm fighting the good fight. It can mean I kind of drive everybody crazy and I talk too much and I'm, you know, like, it can mean a million things.

I, I mean, I, I feel like when I think of Leslie Knope, I, I think of her ebullience the most. Like, that, that sometimes— and sometimes when people are like that, it's a very heroic characteristic, but it can be too much. Yeah. Because you're like, okay, like, I, I'm doing what you asked me to do, uh, but— and when people say that to me about Ron Swanson, it, it's like, it usually means they're taciturn. Yeah, like, and, and they're like, you know, like, I imagine a husband in the grocery store carrying like 112 pounds of stuff and his wife's like, let's just get a cart. He's like, no, I got this, I got it, just keep going. And so being too stubborn or like relying too much on—

I could just remember us doing scenes together and I would have I have 100 words to your one. And I would just circle around you in that office, just like— and you would just sit and watch me. And it was like old archetypes of like the, you know, different animals, two different animals in the same room, basically. And that was what was so fun, is playing those energies. And then as we got got more comfortable, like, flipping those energies and having fun with those energies. But like, those early days of just being able to just kind of come in and buzz around while you stood your ground was so fun. That was a really fun game.

And just picturing that, you describing it and me picturing it, it made me think— there's that giggle— of Shauna Malway tweep on B cam on scooty scooter. Yeah. And she, she, we would always make her laugh and she would slam into the wall.

Yeah, the camera operators were in the room with us a lot and they, we, they were part of the family for sure. And we would make them laugh. And, um, you talk pretty— you don't talk as slow, you talk differently than Ron, but you talk pretty slow.

I, I'm the slowest talking. Like, how do you do that? I don't know. Anything that I see myself in, even now I'm like Pick it up, man. Like, what is your deal?

Oh my God, I'm the exact opposite. I'm like, babe, take a breath, dude. I mean, now that I have a podcast, I hear myself and I'm like, and I'm like, whoa.

It's weird to— especially when people enjoy— when people like praise some acting work, and I'll— and you know, I, I have to watch everything like, like, like watching your baseball swing to make, you know, see what's working. And every time I speak my dialog at this place—

Well, I feel like I could do an impression of you. Can you do an impression of me?

I would never want to.

Really? I'm gonna do you right now to your face.

I don't have it in me.

Well, I have it in me. When you were playing Ron, on the show, what did you do? Like, what were some, like, ways to get into that character? Like, was it wardrobe? Was it the mustache? Was it—?

00:35:07

I mean, it's funny. Megan, we've been together for 25 years, and only about 5 years ago, God bless her, I mean, you've seen the crazy ways I— I never get cast as, like, good-looking people. So I get cast as— I'm like, "Okay, great." I'm gonna shave the top of my head off and have like Larry from the Three Stooges hair. And Megan's like, there was one time I was doing a play and she wouldn't let me get in bed because I looked so upsetting, and I slept on the couch for two nights before I figured out I could put on a stocking cap, and then I got in. But she, five years ago, she finally said, you know what, I really don't like Your facial hair. Oh my God, bless her heart. I know, after 21 years of it, she's— I mean, I think she has liked it at times. Sure. It's a, it's a practical thing where she said it's a mouthful of thistles. Like, yeah, some— yeah, we're getting into it. It's— and I was like, well, when you put it that way, it is like a bristle brush. It's like the kind of brush that people, farmers, have to get the mud off your work boots.

Yeah, it's a really stiff brush.

If you have sensitive skin at all and you have makeup mustache, you can just be totally red-faced, right?

Yeah. And so, and, and, and so now we negotiate, uh, so I've got some work and so I'm maintaining a mustache for the moment, but in a couple weeks I'll be shaving it. Yeah. And something I've noticed is my talking changes. Oh, when I have the mustache, I, I call it my constipative rictus. It's like a, a sort of invisible clamp comes over me, and, and things become more stentorian and more like Sam the Eagle from the Muppets. Like, where my— I can feel my brow more. And when I shave, I look 15 years younger, and I just become boyish, where I'm just like, okay guys, yeah, what's up?

Um, but do you give free mustache rides until you shave your mustache? I don't. You've always charged for mustaches. Charge, yeah. And I've always thought that was rude. So we do this thing where we talk to someone who knows our guests to get a question from them. So we talked to Aubrey. Oh, Jesus. I know. And there's nothing we can use. It's barely usable.

Born on the same day.

She speaks of that. And she might read us a little bit of some texts that you guys had back and forth. Nothing bad. Nothing bad. Um, you guys share a birthday. And, um, I feel like there was, you know, there's so many people that talk about on the show, obviously, that we worked with and that we love. But Ron and April's relationship to me, especially in the rewatch, is very special.

Most of the— podcast so far, I'm willfully not crying. Yeah, by the way. Yeah. Like, I know that you would like some crying. I don't—

I don't care either way.

Like, like, if you just say Ron and April, I know I'm in trouble.

Ron and April.

I mean, I have a lot of love for all of this subject matter. I mean, my fucking—

wait, I have tissues. Oh, sorry. Don't hit me with the slapstick! Look, I have good hang tissues. Oh, those are dope. I'll just keep them here just in case.

All right. You were saying, so Ron and April—

No, but Ron and April, because if we're gonna extend the mommy-daddy metaphor, definitely Aubrey/April was our daughter on that show. And both of our characters kind of helped raise her and loved doing it. And by doing it, like any good parent, as a parent, you learn something about yourself by doing it. Like, you know, Leslie learned that, like, her kind of pushy ambition, it needs to be replaced with, like, a gentle listening as to what people want and need from her. And Ron learned what? Ron didn't learn anything.

Ron learned what rap music was. Yeah, yeah.

What— but I mean, what was it like doing scenes with Aubrey?

Like, I mean, it was, uh, it was so fun because she, um, you know, she could, uh, she, she could, uh, meet me in my own game. She took my— because one of the things, one of the formative things when we started the show was I said to the guys, I mean, I just couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe that they created a part for me. Like, I, I was so aware that, uh, If someone had said to me, "Write your dream part," I would've written something so much stupider because I'm not Mike Schur, you know? Like, I would've been like, "Okay, he's got a fucking— He's got a motorcycle, and he always wears t-shirts with no sleeves." Like, it would've been like some 12-year-old's version of like, "He's like David Lee Roth." And it would've been very superficial. And in my final audition with you, Uh, which I, you know, I had to audition for 5 months to get the job.

Wow, I didn't know it was that long. Yeah, it was cool.

Well, it started with— it started with Adam and I were brought in to read for a role named Josh, right? And it was, it was chemistry reads with Rashida, right? And, you know, if you're going in to read a chemistry for a TV show, guess who you don't want to walk in the fucking door?

Adam Scott. Fucking chemistry machine. And charisma. Believe me, I had to do scenes with him.

I was like, "This guy." I'm like his plumber, if I'm lucky.

And, uh— Gorgeous. Both of you have gorgeous hair, though.

Yeah, but they were—

And people should know this is your hair.

It is, but they also photographed the fleshy parts. But so, that was crazy, and that didn't work. And somehow, Mike and Greg also were stuck on me. Thank God. I mean, they called my agent and said, "It's not gonna happen." "Um, if you can imagine, we're not going to cast you as someone who Rashida has to kiss, if you can wrap your head around that. But we really want you on the show, and there's this part of Amy's boss that should have really been like 20 years old." Yeah, yeah.

I think they were thinking a lot older in the beginning.

Yeah. But— and I was like, "I don't— great, whatever." And so then they had me come in, And they read every guy in the world. So then finally, it— the net got as wide as possible, then it narrowed, narrowed, narrowed, and they brought me in one more time for like— and Mike said, "Okay, we're looking at like 8 guys." And then you came to town and Mike said, "All right, we're gonna have you come in and read with Amy, and this is it. This is gonna be it." And it was one of those things— this happened to me a lot where I got the job and it blew my mind. Also, you cried.

We called you and you cried.

Oh, I sobbed my eyes out. I mean, I said to Mike on the phone, I'm going to— I was like, I'm going to— I said, I'm going to openly sob, but I want to stay on the phone. I was 38 years old. Like, I had been through a lot of experiences where I almost got a life-changing job. And this one was so much better than any of them had been.

Before we get off of Parks, I do want to talk about the other stuff that you have done and are doing. Favorite episode? I know it's hard to pick, but just, like, you know, pick one.

Don't overthink it. I have two answers, and they're— and it's funny, but one is called "Ron and Tammy," and one is called "Leslie and Ron," I believe. But I mean, I mean, you know, Megan is just the most wickedly funny person I've ever met. And getting to, again, the alchemy of what Mike and the writers came up with for her to do, you know, the two of us banding together against this evil librarian, slapping her face with like a big cock of beef jerky. We're just like— Mike knew that.

You know, he was like, "Do you think Megan would, uh—" I still have people come up and go, "You really got the library right. Those people over there." I'm like, "What? The people that run the library are like Tammy? That's insane." That's so funny. But they— yeah.

But then the entire series paying off in this episode that was such a gift. There was like this crazy one-act play. Yeah. Um, oh God.

Oh, here it comes. I love that episode so much, and it was so like senior— our senior year. That was the other thing. It was like senior year. We got to be in that. We got a whole week together in that room.

That whole thing that they did with, uh, where, where, you know, Ron That whole story going into that last season was so gorgeous because they had laid so much pipe. I know. For Ron to, like, swallow his pride and come to ask you for a job, and then the way it all went down. That was possibly the greatest thing about the show for me was the history of me and Tammy bred so much hilarity. But then what developed between Ron and Leslie, was the first time in my life that, you know, that I was counted on by a show to, you know, to carry some emotional weight.

Yeah. And it was— and also, I think, just like a great example of, like, the different kinds of love. I mean, we really lionize romantic love, and we'd make a lot of art about it, but there's so many different ways to love.

Yeah.

And love— platonic love and friendship and the idea of, like, being there for each other and being— going through things with each other and like mentor, mentee, and then equals. And then— and just— and also just the idea, if we're to really widen out, that people don't have to agree to treat each other with respect. Totally. Remember that? Yeah. Um, okay, speaking of beautiful roles, Nick, The Last of Us. Oh my God, let's both get a tissue. That was so good, Nick. Well, thank you. That was so beautiful. I mean, I remember texting you right after, and congrats on winning the Emmy.

Yeah, crazy. I mean, it was so—

How did you get that part?

Well, I wrote a joke about this. They needed a guy who could use a shovel, and there are only 3 of us in Hollywood. Harrison Ford passed, and Jane Lynch was not available. Craig Mazin, who wrote that, I mean, everyone knew when you read that script, you were like, "This is going to— if we don't fuck this up, this is going to win awards or whatever." For many years, my godson had a Little League team and I sponsored it. It was the Offerman Woodshop. Little league team, and Craig, uh, was one of my little league dads. So I, I was just friends with him from a pretty wholesome place, um, and we had expressed some mutual affection for each other's work over the years. But I— he got a hold of me and was like, I'm sending you something and you have to do it. And I read it, and it was funny because Megan and I had just had a talk about that I I still to this day, my vice is that I overload my calendar with fun.

I have seen that in real time when we worked on Making It Together, a really fun show together. You would tell me your year and I would think, this too shall not, this isn't gonna hold.

Too many things. The problem is it's, I love it. It's all, but that's my vice. That's my problem. And Megan and I just had a talk about where I was like, okay, I'm gonna— Take a break. I'm gonna do less. And this thing came in, and they needed me in Calgary for a month, and I didn't have the month. Yeah. And so— but I read the real— so I had Megan read the script, and she was like, "Guess what, buddy?

You're going to Calgary." Okay. We— I mentioned it. We made a really fun show called Making It about makers and, like, the process of making it. You have Little Woodchucks, the book that's all about— like your guide to tools and tomfoolery. But it is— the idea of making things has always been very important to you. You've spoken about it a lot, the spirituality of it, like how important it is for your life, your peace of mind. You work primarily with wood, but all different types of material. Why are you writing? And you've written many, many books. This book is for little people. Why is— how do you get little people young people to get interested in making things, and why is it important for them to do that?

I, I just took my mom and dad on this book tour with me in the UK, and we were just talking about how they brought me and my siblings up in a house where it wasn't talked about. They just taught us all to sustain the family. Like, part of the family was we make things together, whether it's a meal or, you know, if we are mending our clothing or build making firewood, building outbuildings. We'd gardened. Um, and woodworking is a great way to think about what's this made of. Yeah. And that it's true of everything. Who's making this? Who made this car? Who made these shoes? Who made this pie? Are they having a good time?

Yeah.

Are they being cool with our resources the way they're making this car?

Or, you know. Yeah, beautiful. I, I, you can feel it in here. It's awesome, Nick. So I love it. Thank you.

People are responding really well to it because it's All of us. I'm a kid who looks at a screen too much. Like, we all understand that. And making things with each other, whether it's your family or your neighbors or your co-stars, is a great way to not look at a screen and still have a delightful life. Can I show you a prop? Yes, of course. The thing sitting in my shop is, uh, so I want to make a guitar. Wow. Because I tour and I do songs. And I thought, if I do that with a guitar I made— Amazing. I'm done. I can just do that for the rest of my life. Guitars are daunting, so I started with a ukulele. So this is a mahogany ukulele, and I've got— Wow. 12 of them sitting in my shop that are just the bodies and the necks waiting to be put together.

This is beautiful.

It's instrument. So I think probably instruments and boats.

Can you play the ukulele?

Can you play something for us? Let's see if it's in tune. Would you like to hear my ukulele song?

Yes, please.

Whiskey you were sent from heaven above. And Ben Franklin said that beer is proof of God's love. But too much of either will earn me a shove from my wife, whom I'd like to stay the husband of. I love beer and whiskey, perhaps a bit too much. Given the chance, I'd fall off a bar stool daily. To keep me out of the pub and also out of Dutch, I make things like this soprano ukulele. I'll give you one more verse. Everywhere I go, people staring at a phone, sitting in a crowded room completely alone. It gives me more willies than the Twilight Zone. Our brains are hooked on that shit like a dog on a bone. Put down your gadget and look me in the eye. So our interaction can proceed more gaily. Silence your tablet and ejaculate a sigh to the sweetly strumming sounds of ukulele.

Oh, Nick! That was so good!

There's more, but that felt like enough.

Now you're going to get me going. Now you're going to get my waterworks going. Okay, we're going to end our interview today. With a speed round.

And, um, you know, you got the wrong guy for a speed round. I should just do one snap or two snaps. It should be all I'm allowed.

Um, but you mentioned hot takes and people having hot takes and how we don't really need hot takes. I want your hot takes on history and philosophy. Okay, because I know you love history You love philosophy. I'm gonna try lightning round today, but I'm gonna only ask you questions about history and philosophy.

Okay, I'll try to go fast, but it's, it's pretty, pretty daunting.

Okay, I know. Well, don't worry, it won't be hard. Aristotle, smart or weird? Smart. Kierkegaard used different pseudonyms to debate. What would be a pseudonym you would use to debate?

Oh, um, Pilatus.

Freud, yes or no? Uh, no. I say no too. Okay, um, true or false, the unexamined life is not worth living? Uh, true. I think therefore I am, true or false?

False.

You cannot step twice into the same river. Oh, true.

That's a, that's a huge one. That's, that's on my, it's on my, up on my board. Is it? Oh yeah, it's, it's something that, that occurs to me a lot. Um, you know, uh, there's nothing you can never recapture, especially in our business. Um, you know, if like, if, if we ever, uh had cause to do some sort of reboot or something of Parks and Rec. Yeah, uh, it's not the same river.

Different river. Yeah, can't step twice into the same river. No. I'm a joker, I'm a smoker, I'm a midnight toker. True. Now we're moving on to history. Okay, what was the coolest thing Egyptians invented, man?

Uh, in your opinion. In. This is a guess because I don't— I'm not sure if that was Egyptians. I was going to say irrigation. Yeah, I think so. But yeah, they did. If, if people disagree with that, they're wrong. Cleopatra, smash or pass?

Uh, pass. The Vikings got to America before—

that shit is tired. Yeah.

The Vikings got to America before Columbus. Why doesn't anyone talk about that?

Um, because, uh, because the Vikings did not have good PR. Columbus had a great press rep. Columbus didn't even set foot on the mainland.

He like hit an island. Um, okay, and now we get to Aubrey's question for you. So Aubrey had— she had a few questions. Her first one was, do you believe in ghosts?

Okay, uh, no. But, but I don't disagree. When people do, I believe them.

Ah, well said. Do you, uh, do you believe in hell? No. Um, and if you could go back in a Bill and Ted kind of way where you could basically— you could get zapped back to any point in history and, um, it sounds like a good movie. So you've never seen Bill and Ted?

No, I missed a lot. Oh my God, fun.

It's a great one. Well, anyway, they zap back in like a time machine, right? And Bill— Yeah. And they go back and they're just Bill and Ted in different— and they're just two dummies. It's like Dumb and Dumber in a time machine. Totally. And they— So what if you could zap back in a time machine to any era? Where would you go? Who would you fight? And would you take Aubrey with you?

Oh, man. Yeah. If taking Aubrey is an option, of course. And weapons are involved. By all means. Yeah. I suppose I would go to the Roman Empire and I would have Aubrey fight them with her wiles. And I would discover Cumberland sausage and take over the British Isles and become king.

Cumberland sausage made people king?

In my hands. In this narrative. You'd be the sausage king. Goddamn right. 'Guys, we could do this, or follow me, you could try this sausage. Have you heard of caraway seed?

Come with me.' Why do you love history so much?

I don't know. Do you? I do. I mean, I think because I'm fascinated with what assholes we are, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But also what incredible creatures we are. Yeah. Like, it's— when you look at my own, anybody's, the foibles of your own life, uh, and you look at like, I don't know, a lot of what's going on in our, in our world right now, it's astonishing that the lights are on. Like, it's pretty crazy that, yeah, that a civilization has even lasted this long.

Do you believe in aliens?

I'm agnostic about all that. It seems like there is probably life in the universe. Yeah. But until I get to shake hands with them, or I don't mean to be racist, whatever their language is.

Appendages. Yeah. Yeah.

You know, all of those things. I think there's a lot we will never know as humans, and I like dwelling in that. If there are ghosts or spirits, I don't think hell exists 'cause that's a fiction written in a book by people. But that sensibility, whatever the afterlife is, I don't think anyone will ever know what it is. And so if some people are like, I speak to spirits or whatever, I have no cause to disagree with that. They just have never talked to me.

That's a very Ron Swanson answer actually. It's a very libertarian answer basically, which is like, to each his own.

Yeah. Yeah. Everyone should be allowed, you know, their own trip and to like what they like.

And last question, Nick, what are you watching, listening? Where do you go right now to laugh? Where do you, where, right?

There are two shows, 'cause I feel like it comes up a lot that there's not a lot of great, it's not a great time for comedy on television. The big hits like Hacks and Studio, those are— make us laugh quite a bit. But there are two that we've really loved that are more obscure that I would love your listeners to know about. One's Australian and it's called Colin from Accounts. Yes, excellent show. It's so funny and also so heartwarming, which really moves me. And then there's one in England called, I think it's called Such Brave Girls. Do you know that show?

I do very well. Kat Sadler.

And I think the credits, the opening credits are the words spelled out in pubic hair on a tile floor, on a bathroom floor. And that's a great example of the tone of the show. Yes. It's so delightfully filthy and so funny.

That is a great show. That's a hilarious show. And those ladies are great. There's a lot of good stuff out there. You just got to find it.

You just got to find it.

Nick, did we cover everything? I think we did. I think so. Yeah.

You know, did we? Did we weigh in on Aristotle? Yeah, we did.

And you said pass on Cleopatra. You're not going to smash. Yeah.

Come on.

I love you. I'm not.

I'm not going to step in that river twice.

I mean, you came all the way from England. You just landed. Thanks, buddy, for doing this. I know.

Imagine how fast I would talk if I hadn't just gotten off a plane.

Should we just try to do this like every month?

Totally.

I love you. Thank you for doing this. I love you. Thank you. And I can't wait to make something else with you soon. Someday. Amen. Yeah. Yeah, that would be awesome. But thanks for make— for doing this and making this. And thank you for my slapstick. Or is it— is it mine? If you would like it. Oh, oh no, this is the one you travel with. By all means.

It says— it says butt on it.

It does say butt joint on it. It scares me a little bit. Thank you so much, Nick Offerman, for being here today. I love you, and, um, it's always good to spend time with you. And for this Polar Plunge, I, I do want to just highlight something I didn't get a chance to talk to Nick about, which is, you know, we spoke a little bit about the physicality of Ron Swanson and how important it was for him to figure out that character. But do yourself a favor when you're watching Parks and Recreation, take a look at how Ron runs. It's one of my favorite things about Nick is Ron Swanson runs in a very specific way. And sometimes he wipes out, and when he wipes out, it's beautiful. It's like stunt-level wipeout. But— I can't explain it other than to say it just gives me total delight, the choice Nick made to run the way Ron runs. And, um, I'm gesticulating for those listening, so you can't see, but it's just so funny. Um, the tucked-in shirt, the way Nick sits when he plays Ron Swanson, the way he stares, all of that stuff is just like a master class, I think, in comedic acting and probably, you know, what a trained actor learns.

And I wouldn't know. But anyway, look, he's— It's a genius at work, watching Nick work. And so happy he could join us. Thank you for listening to Good Hang, and we'll see you soon. Bye! You've been listening to Good Hang. The executive producers for this show are Bill Sackler Jenna Weiss-Berman, and me, Amy Poehler. The show is produced by The Ringer and Paperkite. For The Ringer, production by Jack Wilson, Kat Spillane, Kaya McMullen, and Alea Zaneres. For Paperkite, production by Sam Green, Joel Lovell, and Jenna Weiss-Berman. Original music by Amy Miles. Wer UVA sagt, muss auch UVB sagen. Eubos Daily Ray Protect sagt zu beiden nein. Mit LSF 50+ bewahrt es Ihr Gesicht 365 Tage vor UVA- und UVB-Strahlung, beugt wirksam lichtbedingter Hautalterung und Pigmentflecken vor. Der tägliche Begleiter für maximalen Sonnenschutz. Daily Ray Protect in Ihrer Apotheke und auf oibos.de.