Transcript of Giggling about music videos, tour, and traveling pants New

Sup, Gigglers? Gary, fix the Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me.

What's up, my Gacha Gigglers? We were so naughty and sneaky.

You were naughty and sneaky.

And I loved it.

Because let's just go back. Let's go back. Let's rewind time for a minute. I'm fighting for my life in Venice. I can't get my sleep schedule. I'm like, I'm feeling anxious. Like, and Hannah's like, I have a crazy idea, let's make a music video.

But this is the thing, Paige is like a cat. You can't just like go up and pet her. Like, there's a whole process.

Right?

I had a vision. I had a vision.

It all starts with that.

The Gals Gal clip I didn't anticipate to become a thing. Or like to live on as long as it did. And like people kept referencing it and I was like, I love Gals/Gals. And then I was like, what if we took it and gave it to a producer and remixed it like a house music EDM remix? But I knew I could not just say that to you because that would have gotten vetoed. You'd be like, I'm over capacity, shit my friends make me do when I'm already overstimulated.

We're not— no, literally, I was like No, we're not DJs. Yeah.

And I'm like, God, no, we're not DJs. This is an artful experience with a producer.

I was texting you. I was like, everyone's wearing vintage and I'm not wearing vintage. I can't deal with whatever you're concocting over in America.

So then literally behind Paige's back, I find this producer, Jessie, and I'm sending her fucking Taylor Swift voice notes. I'm like, I want it to be like, Girls go, and then girls go, drop, drop. Like, I'm sending her— and also I'm like, I don't even know what I'm saying, but do you get the vibe here? And I'm like, this is the energy I want to put into the world. I went full musician mode.

Yeah,

I started to like— I'm like, I'm a— it's hard being a music producer. Like, I felt like every music documentary—

You would text me and be like, sorry, I have a meeting with my producer.

Yeah, I'm like,

okay.

So I'm trying to change the world through music Sorry, I'm the Songbird of my generation. Yeah, but you like literally were like, don't get me involved. So then—

Yeah, I was like, I want no part in that.

So this took weeks. This was like 6 weeks until I finally was like, it's ready to be presented to Paige. Text it to Paige and wait. You don't respond the first time.

I don't think I saw

it. When you see a link, you don't like to click it. You think it's like phishing.

Spam. I'm like, if it's, if it's real, it will be sent again. That's how I combat spam, honestly, guys, and I think it works. If you get a little like hint in your brain that an email could be fake, just leave it, because if it's real, someone will follow up.

I love that you get a link from me and you go, not gonna get me this time, Hannah, not gonna get my Social Security now.

Said, oh, she's good, sending it in the group chat.

She got my best friend to send it to my private group chat. These spammers are getting good. They're really evolving. So you don't respond, but Grace responds, and Grace is like, I love it. So I guess I took it as like,

we're doing it,

we're doing it. So then fast forward like 2 weeks, I, I was like, we have to do a music video.

Wait, the way you presented to me the music video— you are good. You know exactly— no, it's— no, you know exactly how to manipulate me because you're like, it's gonna be quick, it's gonna be like half a day. Like, honestly, we can like film it ourselves. Like, it's gonna be so fine. And obviously my first question for anything is, well, what are we wearing? So once that question is asked, I'm like, well, wait, no, we need glam, we need a director. Like, I'm not just showing up on set and then like makeshift—

It became your idea.

Then I got involved. I said, whoa, whoa, whoa, I need Christina Aguilera level directing. I need cameramen, I need props, I need actors. Then at one point I sent a text and I go, I can't believe I sent this text. I go, are we hiring dancers?

Okay, so also I do want to give credit where credit is due. This has been brewing since RuPaul's Drag Race. Since I've been on, I was like, when the moment comes, we're doing a music video. But I first proposed it as we were gonna do a photo shoot anyway to promote the upcoming tour. Yeah, shout out, we're fucking back on tour, baby! Um, and guess who brought it up? Paige. Paige wanted to go back on tour.

I did want to go back on tour because I feel like I'm a different person now than the last tour.

Yeah, I know she was crying, screaming, throwing up all through last tour. The second the tour ended, she's like, when are we gonna go out again?

You just feel so accomplished being on tour, and I need that.

We just love performing live. It's just where we shine. And the presale is Giggly, and it's out right now.

Except if you live in Denver, Colorado, then we're literally never coming back.

And you can take that up personally with Paige.

I'm sorry, I just— I can't. One of my best friends lives there.

It's called boundaries.

I can't go though. I have boundaries, and it's— it's not a good aura for me.

She goes, sorry, my astrologist said no Denver.

Yeah, and you know what, until maybe Denver fixes their— oh God, I couldn't think of the word. What's the sh— Birkenstock. The Birkenstock crisis. I don't need to go.

I thought you were going to talk about the thin air, the Ozempic air.

Whoa, you know, I actually can't even get into it. It makes me nauseous.

But also, we were going to be like, go even crazier and just not do New York, like not say we're doing New York and then post like an apology video and be like, sorry, New York just didn't work out with the routing this year. We are coming to New York. We have to do a separate announcement for that because it's,

it's important.

It's gonna be exciting. So New Yorkers, we haven't forgot about you even though it looks like we left you for dead.

But I feel like we did this last time for tour. We're like, obviously we're not not going to New York, we're just gonna do like something way better. And we went to Radio City.

Yeah, you guys will be happy, don't worry. You'll like it.

Shout out when Hannah wouldn't let me come up from the bottom of the floor, but whatever.

I love how I had to— I have to fight for so many things, but the one thing you wanted, which is to come from the floor, I was like, you sicko, no.

Yeah, I know. I thought you were gonna be so down. I know. I, I think that's what makes me most upset about it, is that I read that situation so wrong. Usually I Any situation someone says, what do you think Hannah's gonna say? I know, I'm like, I know how Hannah's gonna react. And that was a moment where I was like, you don't want to come up from the floor?

A comic had to tell me— told me a story that they did that at a venue, but it was like slow coming up, and they were like, it was the most awkward moment of my life. And I know myself, and I was like, it'll be— if I'm spending money to hate myself more, I'm gonna be pissed.

Oh my God, whatever. Every Botox appointment you walk into.

Literally 100% of both dogs' appointments. Um, so we were gonna do a photo shoot for the tour anyway, so I was literally gonna trick Paige and be like, we're gonna have people with phones just shooting us getting ready for the photo shoot, and that'll be the music video. So like, you won't— you don't have to put effort in. Like, we're not even adding time to it. And she was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, music video for what? And I'm like, the song I sent you 3 weeks ago. And she goes, okay, resend that link. I thought it was—

I listened to the song the night before the music video. I woke Hannah up.

I was like, Paige, can you do— and she goes— I go, she doesn't know the lyrics, okay? Even though she said the lyrics. But, um, she listened to the song and surprisingly she said, Hannah, we're gonna make history.

I walked into shoot day a monster. I was like Whatever Britney Spears does on music video sets, that's what we're doing.

So good news is we are gonna drop a Hannah and Paige try new things, Hannah and Paige try music video, because this— it was— I walk in, Paige is in like this high beautiful makeup chair, and I guess they only had one makeup chair because

I forgot about it.

So then like my team was like, can Hannah have like a high chair? And they were like, couldn't find it. So I'm in this like tiny little chair.

They were like, all we have is a stool, sorry.

And also my lower back had just went out. I'm like, I can't sit stool, and Paige is like busy FaceTiming her cat or something in the high chair. Yeah. Also, I knew Paige was like pushing herself, so I was prepared for her to be like a little bit shy. Like, I was like, when the camera goes on, like, she's a little out of her element, like, and I will match her energy. The camera turns on, I see Paige in the corner of my eye, she's dipping low, tip it up slow, moving on back, put it up on the backboards. Pop, pop, pop that thing. I'm gonna show you how to make you meditate. Oh.

Is that what the word is? I'm gonna show you how to make you meditate?

No, I messed up the entire thing, but that's Christina Milian. Paige was finger in her mouth.

Yeah, I went— I was a different person. Here's the thing, I'm a performer, okay? Giggly Squad is different. Like the pod, I'm chill. I'm my normal self. I'm just like, I'm kiki-ing with my friend. I'm riffing. When there's a camera in any situation, I'm performing.

You were a pop star diva. And then I was like, oh shit, I have to step it up because I was ready to kind of be like awkwardly giggling and like—

Yeah.

No, no, no. Paige was like, we're doing this, we're doing this, we're doing

it, we're doing it. That's the thing.

Also, I came in and like the outfit I was supposed to wear didn't fit me. I was nervous. Paige was like, I don't know why I brought stuff for you.

Well, you know what's funny is like there are certain situations where like I look to you to like—

Fix it?

Yeah, like I'm like, okay, this is like a problem, so like, but like Hannah's gonna fix this. Yes. Like, and I love when you get into that mood where you're like, I'll make a call, like don't worry, I'm gonna fix it.

Yeah.

When it comes to your outfit and how you're feeling about yourself, I felt like you shot me a look from the corner like, Hey, I'm not loving this for my body type. You're the only person I can say this to. Like, this is a disaster, and I will cry when I get home knowing that I wore this outfit.

Also, like, my vision was executed so perfectly up until this moment, and then the outfit comes and I looked at you like, this is gonna ruin it.

You're like, please help me put this on.

Like, this is gonna ruin the world tour.

So luckily, I, the night before, felt this happening. I was like, we're gonna get there and someone's gonna hate their outfit, so I'm just gonna bring a bunch of different stuff and we'll like make something work. Luckily I had an outfit that for you that was— it fit you like a glove.

But off the rack it did not. I was like, Paige, this is—

You were like, it's not gonna be stunning.

Like, I'm not gonna wear this.

I'm like, trust me.

It's floss as a top. Also, like, nothing that you wear that matches your torso will match my torso, so immediately I'm like, this isn't gonna fit me.

And I had that tailored to my body over the summer, which means that's like the traveling set. Like any— I'm now, I'm convinced anyone can wear that set and go anywhere.

Well, it was stretchy.

Maybe we should legitimately start that for like how the Gigglers like stay connected. Wait, Hannah, let's start a traveling piece of clothing.

That's the most millennial thing I've ever heard.

No, I love it. And the girls can like post on Instagram where they wore it.

The traveling pants were jeans, right?

Yeah, I, I really did love that movie.

Were they washing it?

They weren't like saying.

It can start to get like a smell, you know, that musky smell that jeans get. You're like, when was the last time?

It was a movie.

I mean, that might be the cause of your UTIs. That's where UTIs started.

You know what, the Pages are starting a traveling wardrobe.

Goodbye. See, the Hounders are stressed about this.

There's something there. There's some type of traveling wardrobe for the Gigglers. I haven't cracked it yet.

Also creatively, 'Cause I'm exhausted from putting together the music video and the song creatively. I want you to think like, do we have a theme for the outfits for this tour? 'Cause me and you have to pick out our outfits. I don't like to restrict people 'cause like my last standup tour, ties were like recommended but not needed.

I'm doing this tour completely different than I did the last tour.

How are we doing it?

The last tour I was doing whatever shows we had that week, I was picking outfit. picking out outfits that week, I'm gonna try in the beginning bang out like 20 outfits.

Same. But like, what are you— how are you choosing the outfit?

I'm glitzy, I'm going crazy.

Okay, glitzy and glam.

Yeah, I'm glitzy, I'm glam.

I'm like, girls, girls.

I might even throw in like a couple custom pieces that I'm like, I've wanted to wear this, I can't find it anywhere, I'm gonna have someone make it.

Okay, so the theme is girls, girl, glitzy, girly, glammy, um, sparkly pink.

Yeah, it's just like—

Girly as fuck.

Yeah, it's just like be a Gals Girl, you know? Whatever you would wear with your gals.

Like, what would you wear when you're being a girl?

Yeah.

When you said, what would a Gals Girl do?

Do you know what also is the best is that like, it's the Gals Gals Tour, which like is, it's about being like nice to women, but it's also making fun of like if you're not a girl's girl, you're not a girl. Like, there's such a double entendre.

Oh, I love when you say that.

And I just— I love it. I think it's so highbrow.

Well, it's calling out girls who use girl's girl as a weapon.

Yes.

And let's all just be nicer to the gals. Self-love is the tour, and having other gals being there for you. Um, so the music video I put on the outfit page is like that silver set is it. And I'm like, okay, let's go. Then we have our director Jake, who we have to credit.

Jake is

our shaman,

a different type of creative for our generation. He's, he's a visionary.

Now this is how I describe Jake. Like, we started and he was like, uh, I need you to be— right now you're like, I need you to be like And gah! He's like, Hannah, I need you to give it—

gah! Like the walk we used as like the teaser, like he did that. What you can't see is that one frame over, he's walking with us.

There is a gay man telling us exactly what to do for every moment of this video. And in that second, I was like, this is how pop stars feel like at the Met Gala. There's a gay guy being like, and I need you to give me— gah! And go! And ga ga ga ga ga! And when I tell you I never felt like more of a gal's gal, like, he saw us and he was like— he was like, you can be sexier.

Well, because you want to know something that gay men have? Because we've all grown up in such a misogynistic society, it's so— you can't— it's so hard to escape it. And I think our generation is slowly, slowly turning the tables a little bit. There's something about the sternness of a man saying something to you, but in the— but in the context of it being like—

The girliest thing you've ever heard.

He's like, now you're stepping with the left foot, you need to be stepping with the right on 2.

Oh, 'cause he's also like a professional dancer, so he's like, Hannah, you're doing 5, 6, 7, 8, I need you to do 5, 6, 7, 8. And I was like, gotcha, got— yes, 100%.

Yeah, he was fully choreographing Everything.

And he was like, I'm not seeing a heel-toe from Hannah this whole time. And he was like, Hannah, loosen the hands, loosen the hands.

There was even a time where he goes, stop camera, can we just stop for a minute? Look at me, let's practice it and then we'll go back to

it. Yeah. And it was funny because there were moments where I was like, Jake, I don't think we have to get the like taking off her robe in the exact second. Can we, can we just fix it? But he was, ah, we can do this. Hannah, we can do this.

He's like, it actually is that serious.

Okay. Wait, and then my favorite—

Tell them about the bikes.

I was about to say my favorite moment was the bikes. So we had a vision for being on Citi Bikes.

No, we did not.

Jake did.

You and Jake had a vision.

And it was one of those things where I was like, we'll tell her eventually. She didn't read the outline. She'll know when she gets there.

Do people walk on eggshells with me?

No, it's more, it's more like I want you to be happy and I don't wanna stress you out.

It's more like you don't wanna scare me.

Yes, and I also like, there's been things that have happened and I'm like, it's 9 o'clock, I know she's settling down, I'll bring this up with her tomorrow. Like, I care about your, your mental—

My well-being.

Yeah, so like, I didn't want you to come, you're stressed about my outfit and you're stressed about a Citi Bike situation though. around the corner. So—

Right, truly a Citi Bike situation was waiting for me around the corner.

And shout out— so we had a combination of like, we casted girls and we also had some of my friends who were available. So shout out Stuart, she was there and she was hilarious. And after that scene, he's like, now we get on the Citi Bike. And Paige is like, who? And I'm like, no, us. But they not only had a Citi Bike, they put a camera on the Citi Bike, which was quite heavy.

Like, we were on a street in Brooklyn that like no one was really on. Like, I wasn't nervous to just like ride a bike down that street. It was that the bike was rigged with what, £30?

Yeah, and if you like lost balance, it was gonna take you that way.

Yeah.

And also like, I'm sorry, I'm not riding Citi Bikes because I'm not— I don't trust myself.

I was wearing stilettos.

And full labia out, by the way. Full labia out.

I had to quickly check. I was like, is this a brake at the handlebars or a brake on the pedals? And I felt like I was in 7th grade, like, what kind of brakes?

Also, I think you had a brake with both. You couldn't just— yeah, you want—

yeah,

yeah. So I was just pressing one. I'm like, this is how I die. But also, this is my confidence where I was like, look, I played D1 tennis. I could ride a fucking bike, okay? I was like, Paige, look at me. We're good, we're good, Paige, we're good. So I'm like, I'll go first. Yeah, we could get on. I go, okay, this is hard. This is like—

it was heavy.

It was really heavy. And if you don't go fast, you will just keel over.

It was more dangerous to take your time and like be cautious.

But I was like, I felt like a dad. I was like, I have to be strong for Paige. Like, I have to be brave for Paige. And I'm like, I'll do it. So it's starting and I'm like I'm nervous as shit and I'm like, this is really fucking difficult. But like, I'm kind of laughing through it and I, I do my bike scene and then I look at Paige and I'm like, it's actually kind of hard. Like, just be careful. You kind of have to get momentum. And she's like, okay, okay. Like, you were kind of just like blacking out at that point. This bitch gets on, flies through the street.

I have a strong upper body.

E.T. phone home through the street. She was in the air like the most athletic I've ever seen. Like, I was clunky.

I am not athletic. I am competitive. So I'm not gonna be— now that you—

You're not gonna be embarrassed.

And that's why I like when you go first, because I'm like, okay, here's Hannah. She did it. She accomplished it. I'm not gonna be the one holding everyone back. So it gives me like an extra like, buckle in, do this. You just have to go from here to that. I have to give myself an end point. I'm like, you just make it till there and then it's done.

You full— what's his name— Lance Armstrong on steroids flew through.

I did the Tour de France.

Turned around, came back, and was like, what, like it's hard?

I was like, next scene, let's keep it moving. I'm trying to be done by lunch. Like,

and then at one point we have to like bike next to each other, and I kept like almost killing you.

Killing me?

Because actually, one thing about me not to brag, as a city girl, we're not riding bikes. Like, yeah, I had a Razor scooter and almost guillotined my shin off with it.

I don't care how many years I'm a resident of New York City, I'm actually never getting on a bike in the streets. I will die. Like, I would rather go on the subway every single day till the day I die than get on a city bike.

Like, suburban kids know how to ride a bike. In theory, I think I could ride a bike, but like, I haven't Put in the hours.

I'm just— I'm not adding traffic into my bike ride. Bike riding is for leisure.

No adults were letting— even in the '90s— were letting their kids just like ride bikes around Brooklyn. Like, we would do our Citi Bikes on the sidewalk, and then you would hit a sidewalk that was obviously like not perfect, and you'd, you'd go 8 yards.

Yeah,

it's

not, it's not safe for anyone.

So you crushed it, and then This was like a shout out to— shout out to Haley. Back in the Betches days, we like didn't have any budget, so I would cast Haley to be in like all our funny videos. I'll like throw one of the old ones in the newsletter. So it was so full circle to have Haley in like a real produced, directed music video.

Yeah, it was. And she was like the dancer of your bachelorette party. So like to have her in a music video, I just felt like—

And the singer.

So funny. She was really the performance piece of your bachelorette. In,

in the variety show that was my bachelorette, she— you guys, she sang Whitney Houston.

No, your bachelorette was a variety show of everyone getting up and showcasing their talents.

And everyone murdered.

It was the craziest.

Look, if you're gonna come to my bachelorette, you have to bring something.

I forgot how funny Hailey really was on your bachelorette. Like, when we were like, please stop singing, she goes, why? I'm amazing. Why would I stop? No, she, she came

up to one point, she's like, why are people telling me to stop? People I'm a talent.

She was the Luanne of The Bachelorette.

Well, she was trying to hit like insane notes. And granted, she was coming close to them all the time.

She was hitting them sometimes though.

But it wasn't 100%. Hailey is available for hire at your birthday party.

Oh, Hailey is like one of my favorite humans.

Oh my God.

Okay, so we do the music video.

Okay, then there was— what did we call him? Jared?

I think so.

Jared was the doll of a man that we were using for a scene where a guy catcalls a girl.

Yes.

And then we beat the shit out of him and I kick him in the nuts and then he flies. And then they were like, would it be funny if we somehow got our truck to hit him after he was kicked in the air? And I was like, let's go full Vince Vaughn. Like, yeah.

No, we were like CGI-ing.

But like, no, you guys, no AI or CGI was used.

No AI was used.

But then we just had this like doll of a guy that looked like— what was the drug ad you did?

Oh, I made— I made— I just said, Grace, film this. It's— I need to do something. He looked exactly like the guy from like the smoking weed commercials for— on MTV, like in the early 2000s.

He's like, into the couch.

Yeah, where it's like, Jake and I used to have so much fun together, but now this is all Jake wants to do. And it's like, just— he's high.

And also, the set was a pleasure. Like, when I tell you the girls and gays were so much fun, but then I was like, The only person that's been difficult to work with was Jared. His agents were asking too much of us. His contract was insane.

This is like the first time I feel like we've done something where it was like Giggly Squad, like it wasn't for a brand, like we were in charge. Sets are so much fun, and I've been feeling that with Daphne. I'm like, why have I— why does anyone ever complain about their job? This is so much fun.

I remember someone said something at one point and I was stressing out and I go, wait, wait, wait, I'm in charge. If we're late, it's okay.

No, I literally all the time I'm like, wait, like something will happen. I'm like, is someone gonna yell at us? And then I'm like, no, they can't, it's us.

Except Jake. Jake can yell at us. Like, I actually wanted him to. And then at some point, whenever we do something right, he would be like so complimentary. Like, he'd be like, there it is! Yes, yes, yes! Yes! And it's so funny because in my head I just like turned my head slightly to the right.

And sometimes it's all you need.

We had so much fun running around Bushwick filming this. It's honestly one of the proudest things I've ever done with Giggly Squad. And it's funny because it was so unnecessary.

So unnecessary. Totally optional. Was not obligated.

Not even an option. Like, and Paige like was in You were in like a weirdly busy time. Like, you had so much going on, and she texted me that morning, I'm gonna kill you.

Since August 26th until, I don't know, 2 days ago, I literally have had glam every single day and had to like go do something and film something, whatever. And that was like my peak. I was so busy, and like, that was my first day off, and I was like, no, it's not a day off because I have to go film this fuck-ass music video that—

She texts me, Hannah, I'm gonna kill you. I freak out. You don't respond for like an hour, and then you go, doing this music video. I said, baby, this is the only thing that matters in this life. I've been waiting for this for years now.

And you want to know what? Because we were in charge of the set, everyone was home with their families by 6 PM.

Did we let people get lunch breaks? No, no, I'm just kidding. We did have a good lunch break, actually.

We did have a good lunch break. But that is one thing, like, if I'm in charge anywhere, you will be home to your families by 6 PM. PM.

We are working fast.

And if it's taking till longer, then we need a second day. Then factor that in, because I'm not staying somewhere after 10 hours

and everyone's miserable and tired. We're not dilly-dallying. And I also find when you give people a shorter time to work, they make it happen.

Yes, I'm way better under pressure.

Way better under pressure, way better on a time crunch, because my ADD brain, girl, I will start making new projects. Um, but then once you made it, you were a pleasure to work with.

Thank you.

It's just in the beginning you were giving lots of attitude.

Only to the person in charge, and that was you. Yeah.

I texted Grace on the side, I go, what happened? And I go, oh no, she just doesn't want to be alive right now.

Oh, she's fine, she's fine, she's gonna do it. I was literally being Kitty that day. I was like yelling the whole way there, and then when I got on set, I was like— everyone's like, you're so pretty, you're so sweet. I'm like, thanks.

And you got the high chair, you were happy. I'm like, thank the Lord. It

is Domestic Violence Awareness Month,

and we're helping to raise money and awareness for the National Women's Shelter Network. It's dedicated to supporting women, children, and families that are experiencing homelessness by connecting them with safe shelters and essential resources, because gender-based violence and homelessness are interconnected, and it's important to have safe shelters and supportive services For women and children.

And if you want to learn more, you can donate at thenationalwomensshelternetwork.org, and we'll put the URL in our newsletter this week so you can find it easily.

And the link in the episode description as well. Also, there has been a lot of talk about the bangs that you brought up.

Has there?

Well, people are either like, you can't trust Paige, she's not a real friend or a girl's girl. I said tell me something I don't know.

Oh my God, you're kind of giving it right now. You're kind of giving it right now. Oh, sorry, I'm pointing. You can't see where I'm pointing though because where the bend is going in, it almost looks like that's a bang. Keep going.

I don't know if you guys can see, but there's this hair that's stuck right here.

New growth?

Not new growth. I went to like cut a gray and I cut like a full section of hair, so it's been like growing up Like alfalfa.

We need to live in the same home for 6 months.

Well, no, I've been using my eyebrow gel on it and it like takes down. It's perfect.

Yeah, that's actually pretty smart.

It's a whole routine I have to do.

What are they saying? What'd Lenore say? Did she bring it up to you?

Oh, she has— look, I do— I can never do a bang straight middle.

No, I don't think you can.

But then I thought I could approach this in like a Spider-Man meme where it's like, okay, I'll get bangs, you get pixie.

That's, that's so— let's put our metaphorical guns down. Let's, let's all take a breath. Let's all take a minute.

And I know people be like, pixie and bangs are not comparable.

They're not.

My version of me getting bangs and showing my lack of a jawline is equivalent to you getting a pixie because you already have bangs and your facial structure can handle it.

Look, I've taken that, I've taken the feedback from you and I've sat with our conversation from the other day. I've gone home, I've meditated over it.

Epsom salt.

I actually did take a bath this week. That's so funny you say that. And I think what you should start out with, you were absolutely correct. I think you need more layers in the front and like shorter. I think your first one should start like here. to get the feel of like what it's like having shorter pieces around your face. And then if it goes a little bit shorter here and it flips out to a curtain bang, we'll try it.

This is giving when Des is like, look at your area of the couch, it's a mess. And I'm like, look at your area of the couch, it's a mess. And he's like, gonna clean yours? I'm like, you're gonna clean yours? And then we just don't do anything. That's what this is. But also pixies, what we realize is there's layers to it, no pun intended, but like What's it called? Like a lixie? Like a long pixie?

A bixie.

A bixie. What is a bixie?

A bob pixie, where it's like, it's kind of a bob, but it's like if you went one step shorter, it's a pixie, but one step longer, it's really a bob. It's a whole thing. Look, here's what I'm saying. I'm not getting a pixie anytime soon. You're not getting bangs anytime soon. We're thinking about it.

I just don't like calling it bang. I could do a wisp.

Liar.

Short layers in the front.

Okay, fine, that's fine.

Call it whatever you want.

I think it'll look good.

I love how we stare at each other so much. We're like, I actually can't do this podcast anymore unless you change everything about your face. Like, we have so many opinions on how each other looks.

Sirius is like, anything you want to change with the pod? I'm like, yeah, I'm just thinking if Hannah got bangs, it'd be easier for me to record. Um,

speaking of being busy, I realized I also— I haven't had a weekend off in like years.

What's a weekend when you're over 30?

True, just trying to catch up. But like, I've actually been like— I haven't had just like a lay weekend, and I finally did, and I watched everything.

Oh, I love it. Honestly, the other day I had a I had to wake up for— what did I have to wake up for? Whatever, it doesn't even matter.

It all pours together.

I had to wake up, but I set, I set an alarm and I woke up. And when I set my alarm the night before, I had like 3 things that I was like, okay, right when my alarm goes off, I have to accomplish these 3 things and then like I can get ready for the day, do whatever. I woke up before my alarm, did those 3 things. When I was finishing the last thing, my alarm went off. And in my head I thought, why did I just get high off of this? Like, I'm like competing with myself.

With your previous self who thought what you were capable of.

Is a high unlike other. Fuck competing with other people or comparing yourself to other people. Compare yourself to the person you were the night before.

Mm. Oh, write that down.

Oh my God. It's so— it was the most rewarding feeling.

You know what feels good? When you really think you forgot something, like you pat and you're like, I definitely forgot my like Airwrap, I definitely forgot it. And then you remember it and you go, oh, I'm never underestimating myself again, I'm a genius.

Yeah, I'm like, wait, no, I'm amazing.

I'm on top of everything. Yeah, I'm like, previous me was so fucking smart, how did I doubt her?

No, I love that. I, um, I had to come home to Albany for a couple days For something, and I just— I mean, look at my headboard. I'm a princess here. Like, I don't know how the world expects me to ever go back.

I mean, Kim did a lot, but tell them what she— the pastas.

First of all, when I am on my way here, she texts me and she's like, text me when you're 10 minutes away so I can start your eggs. She makes me breakfast upon my arrival. I then go over to my brother's house because he's always doing God knows what. He was baking, uh, baking an apple something.

Him and Kim are more similar than different.

I go over, I have a little dessert, I take a nap on his couch. I call my dad to pick me back up, bring me back to my house.

Because they don't have Ubers in Albany.

No, I like— no, just call my dad. The Uber in Albany is my dad.

That's scary. Hank, I'm out front.

I'm out there.

Give me 2 minutes. Your mom is making me do— when I finish, I'll come right over.

They live— I'm not kidding— 4 minutes and 30 seconds away from each other. So like, truly, when he says give me 2 minutes, by the time you put your shoes on, my dad's there.

And he just waits outside, like he's standing out of the car like a chauffeur. I know what he does. He opens the door for you, he picks you up like Ariana Grande and puts you into the car.

Oh my God, if I ever take the train, he's right out there. He's like

He's waving.

I'm like, Dad, I know what you look like. Like, he's like, okay, I want to make sure, you know, there's freaks at the train. Which he's right, there are freaks at the train.

Scoop right up.

No, they're too good. I can't. So anyways, I get home, my mom has like 3 different burners going, and I thought I knew what was for dinner. And so I was like, what are you doing? And she was like, you know, I just thought it would be fun if we did 3 different of your favorite pastas. And I look at her and I go, that is fun. That's the most fun—

That is my idea of a fun Friday night.

I've had in 2 months.

That's how I party. That's me doing drugs, being like, pesto, penne alla vodka, and a carbonara?

Cream sauce, tortellini, peas, prosciutto. That's my A1. That, that's my girl.

Because sometimes when you have like a certain sauce, it's like I would love with this cream sauce a little taste of a red sauce.

Vodka sauce with spaghetti. She had extra tortellini. I love tortellini, it's my favorite. She did that with the vodka sauce too.

And tortellini doesn't get the credit it deserves because like everyone talks about ravioli, but like tortellini is actually like— you only get like 8 raviolis. Tortellini, you could eat 100 of them.

Then she made me pasta fazool for like earlier in the day. That was like a little like pre-dinner snack.

And this is the carb loading everyone should have in their life.

And then she made veal and peppers.

Can I just say one memory too? You were dating a guy once. Ooh. You were dating a guy once and you literally called me and you said— this is early on— and you were like, something's not— I don't know, I don't— something's wrong.

Something's amiss.

I said, what happened? And you go, I arrived at the airport and he wasn't waiting for me there. He was late. And my dad would have been there standing outside waving, and that broke my fucking heart.

That is so sad.

You were like, he never gets there on time.

You know something my mom said to me? When you first start dating something— it's dating someone.

Something?

No, this is truly something. When you start dating someone, typically like the things that you don't like in the very beginning that you ignore are the things that end up And right, I'll never forget that. Right in the beginning, I was like, I can't rely on him though. Like, I— he's not trustworthy. I can't like—

He's not there for you.

Oh my God, if I have one phone call in this world, he's gonna answer my phone call. I didn't have that, and I can't not have that.

It seems little in the beginning, but it's—

10 minutes late to the airport, okay. Fast forward 20 years, my daughter's waiting out there for him. He's gonna be 20 minutes late for her? No. No, I'm not saying that to her.

It means more than that.

No.

Oh my God.

Honestly, anytime I think of something that like a bad boyfriend would do to me, and it's a good thing to like do now, even now, is okay, in 20 years, if he did that to your daughter that you share together, like, would that be acceptable for you? No.

Or if your son did what he's doing to another girl, would you think that was okay?

Right. That's how you figure out who your husband is, and that's the code. That truly is. You can't lie to yourself

because you may disrespect yourself, but you will not disrespect your unborn future children.

You really won't. And how they make you feel— like, I had one person say, okay, your son walks into a room, and I was— I'll never forget this. It was like I always would compare ex- boyfriends to like other ex-boyfriends and be like, okay, but this guy had this and like I really liked that about him, and this guy had this and I wish I could combine them. And my mom said to me like, okay, your son walks in the room and he's everything that this guy is. Are you proud of him? I go, not only am I not proud, I'm scared. I'm worried.

I suddenly have no hope.

There needs to be a police officer in the room. I'm like, I'm suddenly looking behind my back.

I'm starting Prozac. I'm starting Prozac because of the energy of his presence.

And then when you're with someone and you have that thought and you think, okay, my son walks in and he's everything that man is, and you get a tear in your eye, it's beautiful. You're like, oh my God, I would be so proud of him. I would be honored

to say I'm his mother. And let me also

say to the

the girls, no man or woman is perfect. There's not like— don't wait for a guy to be like— it's more like his essence, his character, what he's trying to be, what he stands for.

Yeah, it's not job, it's not like how people think of— it's, it's true, true character when no one's looking.

You know that his heart is in the right place. You want to be like, he's a good man. That's what Paige and I do. We go, is he a good man?

I've never broken up with someone where anyone's ever said to me anything but congratulations.

My favorite thing to say is no one got away. No one. I've never been with someone that didn't work out and I'm like, oh, like, he got away.

Not a single guy.

Does that happen with men? Do men get— I don't think any man like gets away.

No, I don't think it's a thing that like women feel.

I think men for sure.

I think like rare, once in a blue moon, a woman will be like, I messed up that relationship. But like, maybe.

But if you want to cheat on him, he's not the one.

So true.

And if you were like too much, he's not the one. How does a woman even mess up a relationship? You overtexted him?

I don't know why I said that.

No, that was a valid question to ask, and we're delving deeper and I can't figure it out.

That was crazy. Since we're on the topic of men, shall

we? Which direction do you want to take this?

I was going to take it in the Shane Gillis route. I was just gonna go comedy. And here's the thing, as someone who truly, truly does not want SNL to die, like, I think it's such an important show. I love seeing like, oh my God, that girl is from TikTok and now she's on SNL. Like, I think that is just what keep SNL around forever if that is its purpose. Like, it takes these smaller comedians and like gives them this platform. I love it. And I'm gonna be totally honest, I've watched multiple Shane Gillis stand-ups. I didn't watch SNL like live Saturday night, but I watched like his beginning monologue. Here's what I think is like so funny and like interesting about it. Less than 2 weeks prior, we had Pete Davidson on the COVID of Variety, and he was like really mad at women for making money. And it's Okay, like, and in my head I'm like, wait, what is he even promoting that he's on the COVID of Variety? But like, okay, Variety put him on the COVID Then Shane Gillis is hosting SNL, which it's like, what are you promoting? Do you have an— like, are you doing a new— your show already came out.

Are you doing a new stand-up? Like, why did you get like the second slot of the second episode of the new season? Like, whatever. And then your jokes are that we're whores. So like, what I— it sounds like to me is that we're making money and we're going to the gym. We're Can you guys leave us alone? We're minding our business. Sorry, we're taking care of our bodies and we're cashing checks at the bank. Like, what are you guys so mad at us for?

Well, Shane is talking to a lot of the men that like his comedy. He knows what he's doing. He knew that would make people upset.

Yeah,

I call it like the insecure men club where all of them would be like, yeah! Finally, someone's calling these girls who would never fuck us whores. Yeah, like he knows what he's doing. He knew it would go viral. Like, it's, it's, um, he knows how to appease his audience. It's like when he said the R-word the first time he did.

Yeah,

the monologue. It's strategic, I think, to get people talking. Like, now we're talking about it. It's upsetting, but like that kind of comedy works for his fan base.

I think it's funny because we'll get branded. Like, I'll see random comments where it's like they're just men haters. Like, they just hate men. That's their whole shtick. And like, I'll wear that proudly. Like, if that's my whole shtick, what's the opposite? That you love them? Like, I'd rather that be my shtick. And here's the other thing, men's shtick for also the same amount of time, or for longer, has been they hate us.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, well, that's my thing. We grew up on comedies of men just being like, my nagging wife, my wife sucks, my dumb girlfriend, my stupid girlfriend, women are so annoying, I'm just trying to fuck these women. So then when I go on stage, and I make fun of the men, I think that's fucking empowering and beautiful.

Yeah.

And also, men come to so many of my stand-up shows because I'm doing it in like a way that like we're all in on the joke. I'm not just saying men are idiots. But, um, my confusion is people say women aren't funny. Okay, but then women are on the internet talking, not being funny, just doing get ready with me's, and they're mad at them doing that. So we're not allowed to be funny, we're not allowed to do get ready with me's. So we're not allowed to take up space is what they're saying.

I feel like also they're like, oh, if you're a stand-up comedian and a woman, you're only talking about like sex and like your period. It's like, okay, so we can't talk about what we know?

Watch any man's stand-up special, 50% of it is sex. Like Shane Gillis has very funny complete sex jokes. Like I've, I've known him for a long time and he's— one of his closers was what his face looks like when he orgasms. Like I obviously care a lot about female stand-ups and even like SNL, they don't have one female stand-up.

Wait, what do you mean?

As in, like, on the cast, like, men can audition just doing stand-up where the women, they pick, like, you have to do improv, you have to do 4,000 characters. Not like just a stand-up is good enough to be cast. When was the last female stand-up that was cast on SNL?

Wait, what?

Yeah.

I didn't know that.

Yeah, dude. But like, men audition all the time just doing like their 15 minutes of stand-up and they're like, that's good, we could work with him. But a woman, you have to be like Then you have to sing, and then you have to do like a full dance.

You have to have multiple comedy talents.

Yeah. Oh, I just got tired from that. But like, men, they'll also see good at stand-up and be like, they could probably do like multiple characters, where women have to be like, and this is me. But granted, they do have incredible male improvisers and incredible men who do tons of different characters. However, I just think there's something weird, and bias that like a woman's stand-up isn't just picked for SNL. Like you can't just be funny being funny. I mean, think about it, like there are so many male stand-ups on SNL.

Yeah.

Right now, currently. But anyway, I digress.

So interesting, just an interesting space.

The gym also is a scary place for women. Like if a girl like A girl should not be scared.

I would never go to it.

Like, it feels like starting stand-up as a woman. Like when you go into a bar, it's just a bunch of drunk men. That's how it feels like, like men just testosterone'd up at a gym and you just walk in and you're like—

Honestly, I used to go to Pilates all the time and I— now when I think back, like, why did I stop going to Pilates classes? I really think it was because the last class I went into, there was a guy in it and I was just like, fuck off. Like, no, like, I'm actually not doing this with you guys. Like, you're not coming to our fucking— and not a gay man, like a regular straight man. I was like, you're not coming to my fucking Pilates class. I have to see— you're everywhere else. Like, why do you want to be here? You, you can go anywhere else. You have so many spaces. Like, why don't you take this one and do it in your own living room? Like—

Also, when I've been watching a lot of stuff this weekend a theme came out, and I, I'm like really into movies in like the '90s and 2000s right now.

Get in this, girl.

Yeah, so I was watching, um, well, I turned on Chicago because I was like, I haven't seen Chicago in forever. Okay, you lost me.

No, wait, wait. And I'm out.

No, wait, okay, so the concept of Chicago is like these girls in a jealous rage kill their husband, right? And then—

That's the concept of Chicago?

Yeah, it's amazing. I didn't know that. It's incredible. Yeah, I've never seen it. It's iconic. Okay, then I was watching East of Eden, and it's like this girl who's like crazy and like threatens to kill him, whatever.

People are— there's actually a lot of controversy about East of Eden,

which

in terms of the book, and like, did they still make her too nice and she's really evil? And it's like, okay, but everyone had a choice in the book to be evil or not, so why did she— was she the only one that didn't have a choice? Whole thing.

Which we'll get to. Then I was— what I watched the beginning of Fatal Attraction, which is about a crazy jealous girl who kills her husband. And I'm like, there seems to be a theme here. Why is the man always just like, I'm innocent? And like, yeah, like, sorry, that girl was hot. And then the girl's like, how could you do this to me? Like, I just want to put it out there. Like, that does not have to be women.

Right.

Also, there's so many instances where the men are jealous. Also, there's so many instances where you feel like he is like not all in on it and you're like, I've never been more turned off before and I don't want to commit to you. Like, I just hate that trope. And I'm— when I'm watching these old movies, I realize like this was all we had. It's like you date a guy and you hope he doesn't want someone else because if he does, you'll go fucking crazy. You'll fuck it all up.

Honestly, I feel like I'd be relieved.

No, like—

No, like, I feel like if a man wants another woman, Truly in my gut, I'm like, oh, because I'm getting someone 10 times better. Like, I really— like, that's the same of like, I never feel like I've lost a guy. It's because like, no, every time I've dated, I've leveled up. So like, why would this be any different?

I like previews because I have ADHD, so I'll watch a preview of like 400 movies and I'm like, that was a fun night of TV watching.

Sick.

But yeah, like, I don't want to commit to the movie, so I'll just watch the trailer. I'll watch 40— I watched 40 trailers last night. There was another one, oh, Vanilla Sky, and it's about this— him, Tom Cruise, and Cameron Diaz. And Tom Cruise—

We're getting in the weeds.

Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz have a thing. He meets Penélope Cruz, is like, that's the girl I'm in love with. Cameron Diaz freaks the fuck out, and I'm like, guys, we gotta think of a new plot.

Yeah, like, I don't think women are freaking out.

These are Oscar-winning movies, and men are just like, it's so hard, like, every girl's just Crazy.

I have had some crazy women before, like, in my life, like, do things to me, but I'm like, I don't—

But we've also had crazy men.

Yeah. And

I think that needs to— I just— it was a little too much of the same plot line in like a 15-minute span of me crossing through movies. So I just want to raise awareness.

The plot line should be a man has done something Horrible, because every woman knows a man that has done something horrible.

Also, most girls, you get hurt, you talk it out with your friends, you're fucking upset, you get, you get a little in a funk, and then you level up, you learn a new language, you get hotter, and, and you change your hair color, and then you start dating a guy who's funnier, hotter, taller. Like, that's my story.

It's the best.

Let's, let's normalize it.

in the mass media.

That's normalized. Um, so East Eden, I'm 2 episodes in and I am enjoying it. Florence Pugh is great.

No, give her an Oscar. Like, give her everything. She's the best actress of our generation. Like, bring back crazy good acting. Like, I just find— I just feel like she is believable in every single role.

Yeah, like, you're kind of like, I couldn't see another girl in this role.

No, I couldn't see anyone else playing her because I'm like, no, it's her. Like, it's— she's just so good. I mean, I finished it a while ago, but it's one of the best shows I think I've ever watched.

Are you gonna read the book?

Let's not get crazy. You know what book I just ordered?

What?

Who Cooked the Last Supper?

Jesus?

No, it's like a feminist book. It basically goes through the history of like everything where it's like where they forgot women, but it's like, okay, but like who cooked the Last Supper? Because it wasn't a bunch of men.

Oh my God, and the photo just has men, men, but all the women made

it all

happen.

The picture on the front of the book is The Last Supper, and then the title is Who— but like, who cooked it? And it go— I haven't started it yet, but I'm very excited. And it's just like the history of like forgotten women that have really done—

I feel like you're, you're doing your gender studies minor right now. You're getting a certificate in gender studies.

Yes, I love it! I'm doing gender studies right now.

I did gender studies. I had a certificate at University of Wisconsin. Go Badgers! But 15 years ago gender studies was so different.

Do you think that there was ever— there's ever going to be a college class that asks us to teach a course, and would you do it?

I hope not.

Oh.

I, I would, I would love a one-dayer.

I would do it for the outfit. Like, Hannah, are you kidding? When I turn 50, if I'm not teaching college classes—

You want to teach college? I mean, I come from a family of teachers. I love teaching. It's

just Only when I'm in my 50s for 2 years and I want to wear glasses. My kids need to be taking care of themselves.

Um, I also found myself watching The Kardashians, which I haven't watched in forever.

Yeah, my Bible.

And Khloe Kardashian—

She's amazing.

Is so charismatic.

Khloe sent me a pillow, mailed me a pillow. Our love language is we just mail each other things. We send each other things back and forth. And I texted her and I was like, dude, is this a fucking joke? It changed my whole life.

Is it— do you put it between your knees or behind your head?

At some point I will put it in the newsletter, but I have to make sure all my friends and family get an order in for— I ordered everyone a pillow after I slept one night on it. I go, everyone's getting this pillow. I don't know if I'm gonna say it out loud. It's kind of the same with Morgan Psychic. Like, I'm sorry, I have to gatekeep it. Tori, if someone tells me not to say something, I'm gonna do it. I'll, I'll ask Khloé if I can say the brand of it.

Yeah, ask permission before. I just don't want you to burn that bridge because of a pillow.

But I'm sending you one.

Can I just say something about this season? Because I haven't watched Kardashians in years. I just always, um, consume from social media. They're really villainizing Kourtney.

They're just open and they're honest. And also, I feel like Kourtney this season though is actually being more chill than previous seasons.

The newest, newest season?

Yeah.

Well, I was watching, I got triggered because last season Travis Barker fully tricked her into running a 5K.

Yeah.

Which you guys know is my villain origin story.

Fully tricked her, and he held her hand.

And he held her hand the whole time. Like, at least my mom didn't hold my hand the whole time. That was crazy. I can't hold Des's hand for more than like 2 minutes. I'm

like, I'm not even snuggling in bed for more than 4 minutes because I'm like, okay, but my shoulder— like, I'm not like This is lovely and let's connect for a minute, but like—

The idea of holding hands is so much better than the actual act of holding hands. I'm like, this is slimy.

You know me, my arms are so long. There's not a goddamn person on earth that I'm really comfortably holding hands with.

Also, I'm walking like a New Yorker, and like when you have someone else attached to you, you can't do the swerves in and out like I want to.

Just as I like play defense, like walking, like I'm like always He's like, well, you're pushing me off the sidewalk. But I'm like, but I'm trying to tell— I have to talk to you about things. Like, I have things to say and my body just is going that way.

Des just directs me like from my hip, like, because I don't know where anything is. So he just like nudges me from like my butt to be like, and we're turning. Hot. No, it's actually—

Wait, that is foreplay.

Like, he will take my butt and just turn it and be like, and we're going.

And you need to do foreplay all day. I really believe in that.

Women need that.

I need that.

Women need that.

Lastly, I'm on my period right now. It just started, so if you've synced up with me,

you guys are synced. We're synced. We're synced, babe.

Scorpio is— yeah, we are. You have your period right now? Yeah, Scorpio is in retrograde, so like shout out to all the pairs. Like, I don't know, it's gonna be crazy.

Oh God.

Well, take a deep breath,

you guys. We're on We're going on tour in January. gigglysquad.com. Click on the link. If it's presale, the code is giggly.

The New York show will be announced soon.

The New York show will be announced soon. And watch our music video on YouTube. It's the greatest thing we've ever made. And we love you guys so much. Thank you for giggling. Have the best week ever. Bye!