Transcript of Kristin Cavallari: Evolution of Me

Hey, guys, I need to ask you a question. I want to know why in the hell are you not on Patreon? I don't think you guys even realize how much content we have on Patreon. Let me break it down for you. We have the BunnyXo show, we have Meet the Deforts, we have Papaganda, we have more shows that we're adding, and not to mention, we have the visuals of the podcast. Head over to www. Patreon. Com/dumblonpodcast and sign up. Bunnyxo She was a Vegas girl. Bunny XO's Dumb Blonde podcast. And Bunny XO. Kelly Rolls like Bunny XO.

You missed Bunny. Bunnyxo. Talk to me about BunnyXo.

I'm Barney. Get to me, the coolest kids. Is this thing on? Hi, babies. Welcome back to another episode of Dumb Blonde. My girl, Kristin Cavalieri is in the house, baby.

Hi. I'm so excited to be here.

Dude, I am so stoked to have you here. This has been a long time coming.

I know. We've been talking about this for, I mean, months. Yeah.

Maybe it might even be a year.

That's what I was going to say. It might be. Yeah. So, yay. I'm so happy it's finally happening.

Dude, you are an icon in your own right, dude. You have been around forever. I don't feel like the new TikTok people really know your whole lure. I love you. You have a lure to you. It's like people are just like, Oh, Kristin Cavalieri just came on the scene. I've I've seen comments like that, and they're like, Who is she? I'm like, How do you guys not know who Kristin is?

I love when people comment, Who are you? It's like, You're the one commenting on my page.

Get out of here. I'm the one who's going viral. Who the fuck are you?

It's so funny. Tiktok is its own thing. I just did a voiceover to myself from Laguna Beach, and people thought it was in real-time, like I was just doing it. Some people obviously get it. But TikTok is... Yeah, is it a younger generation?

Not on my FYP, but I feel like there's so many people that do use TikTok, that it's like the age group is just so vast over there.

Well, I don't know what For You pages I'm falling on, but it's like it's such a mixed bag. It's either Laguna Beach fans who have known me for 20 years Or these people are like, Who the fuck is this check? Yeah, I get all kinds of comments.

Well, let's get them familiar with you because I have an entire interview planned out for you because you have so much. So it's like, I just want to cover everything. And hopefully I think, really, in this interview and podcast, people will be able to get to get a sense and a feel for you of everything that you've accomplished before you became on TikTok and was on very Cavalari and all that stuff.

All right, I love it. Let's dig in.

Yeah, let's Again, let's take it back to the hills because that's where I fell in love with you. You had this huge personality, and you didn't take anybody's shit. I was like, Who is this woman? How did that all come about? Because was it a bunch of rich kids whose parents sent them to casting agents?

Or how did this even come about? Laguna Beach or the Hills? The Hills.

The Hills. The Hills was first, right?

No, Laguna Beach was first.

Okay, Laguna Beach was first.

Okay, Laguna Beach. I mean, literally, it fell into my lap. I was going to high school. We all were just going to school, and MTV showed up one day and did an open casting call. How they were able to come to the school was the school initially was on board with it. Mtv was paying the school, so they found all of us. Then, of course, the parents freaked out, and they were like, There's no way we can cameras in these classrooms. Mtv was like, That's fine. We already found our cast. What we would do is we would just film on the weekends. But it was right place, right time. It fell into my lap, and it completely changed my life.

That's insanity. You grew up in Laguna Beach, or did you grow up in somehow?

I grew up all over. A lot of people think I'm from Laguna, but I didn't move to Laguna until I was a freshman in high school. I was born in Colorado. Oh, wow. Moved to Connecticut, moved back to Colorado. My parents got a divorce. I moved to a suburb of Chicago. And then I was getting into a lot of trouble. And so I ended up moving in with my dad, my freshman year of high school to Laguna.

What trouble were we getting into?

Well, Bunny- Because I need to hear this.

It makes me feel better about my childhood.

What's happening is For so long, I was ashamed of my childhood and then my partying ways and stuff. And now I just fully embrace it.

You have to. That's what made you the woman you are today.

Exactly. But so I started smoking pot in eighth grade. I started drinking. I was leaking out eighth grade. Eighth grade. Yeah, I was young. My boyfriend, Johnny, at the time, lived close, and he would drive his golf cart over to my house and pick me up. We would just... I mean, just animals. I got taken home by the cops in eighth grade. It's all your typical stuff.

Who introduced you to drugs and that scene so early? Was it just like, ditching school, partying?

Ditching school and just friends. I think I was drawn to that group of kids because I had a lot of trauma. My escape was to start drinking and doing drugs. The only way I found a connection was with my boyfriend. I didn't have a connection at home. That was where I found it was with my boyfriend and through all of my friends.

When When we talk about the trauma, can we touch base on that? Was it just a rough relationship with the parents?

My dad is a typical narcissist.

So is mine. I'm just dealing with my dad today, actually, and he died in May. Oh, really? No. Having a narcissistic father is so... You can't explain it unless you've gone through it or somebody can relate to it.

Because there's so many layers to it. It's so complicated. It's disgusting. It really is disgusting. I actually cut my dad out of my life a couple of years ago, which is the best thing I've ever done, quite honestly. I feel like it was the last thing I needed to do in my healing journey. There was a period where I felt like, Am I going to have bad karma if I cut him out of my life? Am I going to have to come back in another lifetime and have to work through all the same shit again. I actually had a medium say to me. She was like, No, actually, that was what you came to do in this lifetime was to be able to stand up for yourself and set boundaries and cut him out of your life. Oh, my God. Okay, that made me feel so much better. Just validated everything. But anyway, I had a narcissistic dad growing up, and then parents, divorce, step families, some sexual trauma with a couple of different guys in my life, and just one thing after another. And so, yeah, I was just looking for any connection, an outlet as well.

So that was why I went down the path that I did.

Yeah. They say that children who are born Capricorns normally have issues with the mom. So for you to have issues with... I wonder what your moon sign is.

Well, okay. I don't know which one is moon and which one is... What's the other one? Venus. Venus. Cancer and Aries, but I don't know which one is which.

I could see you be in an Aries moon because I'm an Aries moon also. I don't know. We'll do your chart. I'll have to text you. Okay, fine. I'll get your number and we'll... Or we can do it on the podcast. I don't even care. I love it. Do Mimie, do you know how to look up the birth charts? Yeah. Will you look it up? Oh, fun. Just give- When you were born and where you were born.

I was born in October, and I was born at, I think, 9:30 PM.

The fact that I know that so easily. I was a fucking AM baby, and I'm a night owl.

Oh, really?

Isn't that crazy? I came in the world at 6:00 AM, and you will never catch me up at 6:30 AM ever.

That is hilarious.

Ever, dude. While she's looking that up, we'll continue. But isn't it crazy, though, that so much happens in your early life, and it's like you don't know how to deal with it, and you carry it so deeply, so it comes out in other ways, which was, of course, for you, was the partying and stuff like that.

Yeah. I know. I think everyone Noone is the way they are because of their childhood. This is my favorite conversation. Because I just think... I think a lot of people, they don't take the time to actually look inward and really work through their trauma and figure out why they are the way they are. I feel like that's been my whole fucking life, basically, is having to figure it out.

Breaking generational courses. Yes. Literally. That's me too.

I talk about it. Finally, I'm about to turn 38, and I finally feel like I'm in a good place with everything and have a good handle on it.

I'm so glad you got a hold of it early because I I didn't want to start dealing with my shit until I hit 40. When I tell you I hit 40 years old, I had the most crazy depression. It's like you can be so strong your entire life, and then it's that one day that you just wake up and everything fucking hits you like a brick wall. The fact that you have gotten ahead of it is just amazing. I'm so proud of you for doing that.

I mean, I've always said I feel like the first half of my life was just thing after thing. It was just a lot. Now I'm hoping that I'm setting the second half of my life up to just be fucking chill, just relax and be able to just enjoy my life.

Do you think all that trauma that you had was why you were so fierce on Laguna Beach and the Hills?

I think it definitely played a role. And I think always being the new girl and moving around constantly, I was able to be put in any situation, and it was like, sink or swim. And I figured out how to survive and how to make the most of it. So I think I naturally had this tough exterior, this take no shit attitude. But I also was able to figure out any situation you could put me in. I think the combination, yeah, is what made me this fucking fire cracker.

I love that, though. That's what you were known for. That's literally why people fell in love with you. Because back then, we didn't have a lot of strong personalities like that on TV.

Well, I got a lot of hate for it at the time. Now, it's interesting because people are like, Wait a minute. Maybe Kristenristen wasn't the villain. I'm like, Fuck, 20 years later, I'll take it.

I don't want to talk shit about her, but Lauren always rubbed me the wrong way. I was just like, I don't know. It just seems a little too manufactured. It just didn't seem real to me, but you always came across as authentic. Thank you. Do you feel like because you were always the fierce one and the one to speak up and the one to fight back, do you feel like people didn't really get a sense of who you really were because of that?

100%. I think that was the thing. Laguna Beach showed one side of my personality. We have so many different sides to our personality. Because I do have a very soft side, too. Of course, as I've gotten older and became a mom and everything, I've really honed in on that. But even back then, I did as well. And I still have that take no shit side to me. But when that's the only thing they're showing, yes, you can't really get to know someone. It's interesting because Steven and I actually did a Back to the Beach podcast. It was a rewatch podcast, and we went back, and it was the first time I had seen it since it aired. At the time, I remember being like, MTV fucked with me so hard, and I thought it was unfair. Then going back and rewatching it and talking to everybody, I was like, Oh, no, they fucked with everyone. What they did to me, they did to every single cast member, even Lauren. They only showed one side of her personality, too. Steven, the same thing. I walked away from that being like, It was what it I was so mad about it for so long, but it was a nice way to wrap that up and be like, it wasn't just me.

I wasn't the victim in that situation. It happened to us all.

That's actually a really cool perspective, though, because most people would internalize that and be like, I was picked on and victimized themselves. And you were like, no, actually, they did it to everybody. So you guys didn't have any control of what was getting put out there? Nothing.

I feel like reality TV back in the day did that to everybody.

You signed your life and rights away as a human, and What they wanted to present you as was what you were going to be known as.

Yeah, I know. Because it was one of the first reality shows, so we didn't know what we were signing up for. Even things like they would have us just record wild lines, just lines, and they could splice them in wherever they wanted. In a sense, we had an idea of what they were doing because we're like, Well, obviously, I didn't say this, but you're having me say it into a microphone, so you're clearly going to use it somewhere. We knew that they were manipulating it to a degree, but until we actually saw it, we had no idea what was going on.

You guys were kids.

I was 17.

Did you guys as parents have any say so in any of that?

Yeah, our parents had to sign off on it. My mom had a lot of reservations, but I wasn't living with her at the time, so it didn't matter. My dad was on board with it. Oh, shit. I know.

You know what? Look at where you are now.

No, it's all good. It's all good. Yeah, I'm happy my mom didn't stop it. But it was hard to deal with at that age just because it's hard enough being a teenager and then having your lives being manipulated when it's your real boyfriend, your real friend, it just gets really messy, quite honestly.

How real was it, though? Because reality TV back then wasn't quite real? Didn't they give you guys plots or was it genuine?

Laguna Beach was more put us in situations and then see what happens, knowing that a particular situation is going to probably press my buttons. This is not group of people I would normally hang out with a thing. Let's have Kristen's boyfriend go up to this other girl's house, even though they're dating. So situations that they know is going to piss us off. But I don't think any show is 100% real. I think it's impossible to have a show. Even if you have cameras on you 24/7, like Jersey Shore, for example, they still have to edit it down into a 42 episode or whatever it is.

Yeah, 30 minutes episodes for You're- Right.

There's no way that something can be 100% real. There's no way to capture all of that.

Yeah, absolutely. We have your birth chart right here. You are a Capricorn Sun. You're an Aries moon, because I can see it in you.

Oh, you were right.

Yeah, totally. You're a Capricorn rising. So your Mercury is Capricorn. Why did I think I had cancer? Your Venus is Scorpio. Oh, so you're a lover.

Oh, that makes sense.

You're a lover, baby. Where the hell did I get cancer from? You got a lot of Cap. You have a Capricorn Stellium in you, baby. You have one, two, three. Does she have three or four planets in Capricorn. Three planets in Capricorn, yeah. So that's a stellium. Wow. So you're a hardcore Cap.

Yeah, I could have told you that.

But I could see the Aries moon in you because I'm an Aries moon, too, and we're just so fiery. Yes. Okay. So the Aries is the fiery. Well, and Cap, too. Cap is Earth, but also the Aries part of it, too, is just... I'll have to sit down and explain birth charts to you because I'm super into that. But I just feel like astrology really tells people who they are. It's a love language.

Totally. I believe in all this stuff. I love it. Yeah.

Do you? I love that. I'll have to start sending you stuff because I'm totally into that. So moving on from The Hills and all that stuff, are you friends with anybody still from the cast?

I still talk to pretty much everybody. And the rewatch podcast brought us all back together, which was really fun. And I have my 20 high school or reunion coming up in the fall. I can't wait.

Are you excited? I'm so excited. You're going to be the hottest one there, going back there. I love you.

No, for real. I don't know. Everyone in Laguna Beach still looks really good. There's something in the water. You know what?

I'm telling you, the West Coast girls They're just- It's true.

That's sunshine, baby. I do think it's good for you.

I'm from Vegas, and we were always in Cali. Vegas girls and Cali girls, we all just ran this in circles.

That's like we were always in Vegas because it's so easy. We'd have nights where we're like, Let's I just go to Vegas. Fuck it. Half hour flight. Oh, my God. It's so easy.

You know how many coked out trips I took on a flight? Bro, being locked on a plane. We would drive, too. Oh, I couldn't do it.

We'd be like, Let's just fucking drive. Fuck.

Three hours? I couldn't do it. Three and a half hours locked in a car?

Just train wreck, yeah.

Fucking cracked out of my mind. I've done it, but now, I could never. I could never.

No way. No. No.

I love that. Dude, I look back. We I just got some pictures from my best friend who passed away. Her sister sent me a bunch of pictures of us, and there's one of me in there that's like, methed out. Girl, where are my eyebrows?

I know. Well, I was the same way. I had no eyebrows. What? I had fucked them up forever now.

I had to see. No, your eyebrows look fucking good. Oh, they're. Mine are too, but yours, you have hair. I can't even fucking grow a fucking eyebrow back.

Okay, you know what I'm going to tell you? Caster oil. Do you ever put caster oil on them?

I tried it on my belly button, and it made me feel weird.

I put it in my belly button, too. I can't do it.

It made me feel weird, so I get scared now. I'm so sensitive.

I have it all over my stomach.

It works for you?

Do you love it? I put it on my face, too.

I tried to do the caster oil thing because I wanted to be the caster oil girl, too. It just made me... I woke up the next day. I'm such a sensitive girly now because of all the fucking shit I did in my past. Now I can't. I used to fucking snort eight balls, and now I can't even use castroya. It's fucked up.

It is fucked up.

No, it's fucking... It's bullshit, dude. Anyways, moving on from the cast Royal packs. How did you take... You did Laguna Beach, you did the Hills. And then after that, did you want to stay in reality TV, or was that more of your exit out?

No. I was like, get me the fuck out. And I think more than reality TV, just living in LA and feeling like I was... My life felt really claustrophobic because at that point, I had paparazzi on me every single day. Every time I wanted to leave my house, whether it be just I'm to Walgreens or whatever, I'd have to be like, fuck, am I going to have to deal with this? This is before social media. The tabloid world was just ruthless.

It was so bad back then.

It was really bad. I was on the cover of I'm walking every magazine. It seemed like every other week for some bullshit I didn't do or saying I need to go to rehab and all this shit. I had hit my wall, and I really wanted out of LA. It wasn't even so much like... It wasn't even I wanted to be done with an My payment career. I knew I wanted to be done with reality TV, but it was more like, I got to get the fuck out of LA for my own sanity. I actually met my ex-husband a month after we wrapped the hills.

Oh, wow. So Jay came in that? Jay, yeah. Are we allowed to say his name?

Yeah, we can totally say his name. I met him when I was 23 a month after we wrapped the hills, and it just naturally got me out of LA, which was great.

That's how it was when I met my Jay was literally it got me out of Vegas. If I would have stayed in Vegas, I would have killed myself.

Right? That's how I felt like in LA. Yeah. Yeah, I know. It's cool when you really want something, how the universe just delivers it when you're ready.

Absolutely. All you got to do is ask, and the universe will grab it. It's true. You meet Jay. Take me on that journey with you guys's relationship.

Jay, a year prior, I got a call from my publicist, and he said that Jay Cutler wanted to fly me to Chicago and take me on a date. I didn't know who Jay was, so I googled him, and I was like, I mean, I don't know. I was like, whatever. I don't know.

I didn't know who Jay was until he was on your show. I love you. I knew who you were. I didn't know who Jay was. I love it.

I said no. Okay, fine. A year later, I was visiting my mom, who happened to still live there, and I was going to a Bear's this preseason game with my cousin who was bears obsessed. I totally forgot Jay even asked me out. My mom brought it up, and my cousin was like, What the fuck? You're such an idiot. Jay is the man. You got to go out with him. I ended up getting us family passes to meet Jay after the game. I was thinking it was going to make my cousin's life. I would probably never talk to this guy ever again. He walked in and I was like, Oh, shit. He's cuter than I thought he was going to be. When he asked you out, how did he ask you out? Well, it was through my publicist. Okay, got you. We never had any interaction. Got you. He walked in. He was really cute. He was very smart because he won my mom over. I was talking to my mom the whole time. He drove us to our car, and then he texted me immediately, and he was like, something about, well, you got to come back or something.

And then I think I came back a week later, and then it was like, that was it. We moved really fast.

I love relationships like that, though. Granted, you guys have gone your separate ways, but I still feel like a moment in time, that moment in time was what you needed, and it was magical. It was.

Yeah. And he was exactly what I was looking for at the time. And again, I mean, I was 23. I think I was a baby. Hindsight is 2020. I don't regret a damn thing, though. I mean, There's so much good that came out of our relationship. Not only did I get my kids, and it got me out to Franklin, Tennessee, and all these great things, but it forced me to figure out my shit and grow up and do the work that I needed to do. I'm I'm really thankful for that as well.

What would you say was... I don't want to use the word downfall because that's heavy, but what do you think was part of the reason for the relationship unraveling?

So Jay and I always had a tough relationship, even from the very beginning. I'm really careful about what I say, obviously, because we have three kids together. Absolutely. We can always cut things out. I haven't talked about them in so many years. I made that vow. I was like, I'm done talking about him, but I'm happy to talk about it. I'm trying to think about the best way to say it because I I think things were just never good. We tried really hard. I will say, we really did everything that we could. Ultimately, I had to make a decision of taking care of myself and putting myself first. Especially as a mom and having these three little kids, I really wanted my kids to see me happy and see that I was making myself a priority and taking care of myself. Especially now having a daughter, too. I think that's so important.

It is so important because I feel like when parents stay together and they're miserable, that causes more fucking trauma for the kids.

One thousand %.

Then just seeing healthy co-parenting. Yeah.

Yeah, because what you're teaching your kids then is, A, stay in something because you're fucking miserable, and B, they have no idea now what a healthy relationship looks like. If you can't be your best self, that obviously trickles down to your kids, and you take out your hurt and your sadness on your kids. It's just such a negative, toxic environment. Yes. As soon as I got out of my marriage, I remember even my mom saying to me, Shit, I had no idea how bad it was, but I was a shell of who I was, and immediately I got my spark back.

I love that for you. When you say that it was bad, was it just polar opposites or was it arguing? What was it that was so bad?

It was toxic. I think because I hadn't done I'm going to work on myself and- You were a baby, too. I was a fucking baby. I didn't know any better.

How old was he when you guys got together?

I think he was 27 or 28.

You guys were both young.

We were both young.

That's young love. I feel like the first love or the first young love like that where you get married or something is toxic. You guys don't know how to fucking navigate life. I know how I was a fucking 23. I'm sorry to anybody whose paths had to cross with mine in that era of my life because I was just a shit show.

You shouldn't be allowed to get married before age 30, quite honestly. I agree. You shouldn't be allowed to. You don't know who the fuck you are at that age.

Bro, I swear. I 100% agree.

I know it. The thing is, I was repeating a pattern with my dad. Because I hadn't done the work on my relationship with my dad, that's what you do. I ended up marrying my dad. It really forced me then to I work through my shit, which is what I did. When we got a divorce for the last almost five years, quite honestly, I've really taken the time to get my shit together so that I don't then make the same mistake. I don't want to say mistake. That's not the right word, but I don't want to be repeating that pattern. Absolutely.

For sure. They do always say that unless you do the work, you will meet the same person, the same human in different bodies until you learn that lesson.

Over and over again.

Over and over again. What we of Jay on Very Cavalier, because when did Very Cavalier come into the picture? Did you start on Common James first?

I did, but they were pretty close together. Very Cavalier must have been 2017, I want to say, or Is that right? Yeah, because we did three seasons and it ended in 2020. So yeah, 2017. How did Uncommon James come about? I had a shoe line with Chinese laundry. Do you remember that? I do.

I loved all their shoes.

My brand I ended up. So I had a shoe line with them, and I loved it. But because I was doing shoes with them, I wanted to do something on my own, and I felt like jewelry was the next natural step. I love accessories. I think they make or break your outfit. Well, I had this fire in me to show everybody that I knew what I was doing in the branding world. Because with Chinese Laundry, at the end of the day, while I had final say, I didn't really because it was a whole team of people. This is a well-established company. And I learned to trust my gut I knew my customer. I had this fire in me of like, I'm going to show everyone that I know what I'm doing in the branding world. I launched Uncommon James out of our house. At the time, I was essentially a stay at home mom. I did little things. I would host these big award shows, these pre-shows for E on the red carpets. But other than that, I was basically a stay at home mom. I just honestly wanted something to do also.

Probably set yourself apart from the reality star because you've grown. You've got a baby by now. You're married. It's like rebranding for you.

I wanted my own thing. Yeah. And so I launched it, and then I knew... Because I had been offered a million reality shows, obviously, coming off of Laguna Beach in the Hills. I knew I could always fall back on that if I needed to. But I wanted to do a show similar to Vanderpump Rules and have it be about on Common James. So I pitched it to E, and they were like, We'll do it if you're on it more. So I had to get Jay on board then, and I had to get one of my friends on board. And then, yeah, we did it.

And I did it- What are your friends being Kelly? Yes.

We can talk about that. We did the show, and honestly, the The only reason I did it was for Uncommon James. Best decision I've ever made for the company. But I also, because I was an executive producer, I had such a different experience doing Very Cavalier, and the producers really looked at me like an equal. I was involved in every conversation. I always knew what was going on. That aspect of it was such an enjoyable experience. It was a great way for me to end my reality TV career just with such a positive taste in my mouth. I was really happy that I ended up doing it.

That's amazing. So did you actually get a say so on what was aird?

I was able to get shit taken out. I mean, it was juicy.

There was a lot of drama. I watched it.

It could have been way better.

I'm like, I don't know. I thought you guys did a A great fucking job.

I think it could have been better. I think it could have been funnier. I wanted it to be like... Jay was very funny on the show.

Well, he was hit or miss. He was either really funny or it was like, what is going on with this guy?

Well, you should have seen the shit that got edited. There was one time we were filming and we were fighting so bad. The camera guys were like, okay, camera's down. Everyone take a break, but they can't show that because they wanted Jay and I to seem like we were perfect or had this great relationship.

You could up on the tension, though. You could feel it.

I think you could, too. Now, obviously, we got divorced pretty quickly thereafter. I think people then could see the cracks, but they try to do a really good job of showing us in a very positive light.

You don't have a good... I'm the same way. You don't have a good poker face.

If you're pissed off- I can't bullshit, man. It's like, I got to be real.

There was a couple of times I was like, She's pissed at him. You could feel the energy on it because I watched Very Cavalier, too.

The whole time that we were doing that show, I was really unhappy, really unhappy in my marriage. That was a distraction, probably also. At that point, I was throwing myself into so much work stuff that it was all a distraction.

Do you feel like the drama from the show overshadowed the brand of Uncommon James?

No, because what it did for the company was insane. I mean, you can't buy that marketing overnight. It just catapulted us to the next level. It set Uncommon It names up, honestly, to something I never even could have imagined. Still, we continue to grow, and I really do think it's because of the show, initially. I really do. No, I agree.

I couldn't agree more. What do they say? All news is good news.

Yeah, all press is good press.

Yeah, exactly.

Fuck it. Which sometimes it's hard to wrap my head around.

We're learning that now. We're new into the fame thing. We go viral for some things that we've said in 2020, and it's like, 20, 20. It's bullshit, right? We're not even those fucking people anymore. Exactly. You're like, Let us grow. Let us grow. But the internet will, man, that will just hold you to who you were at that moment in time.

They hold on to everything.

They like to bring it back and rerun it.

You're just like, What is fucking happening? God, I know. Let's see you five years ago, what you were doing.

Literally. Let's shake those intelligence. Let's go there. Yeah, for sure. Where do you get the inspiration for Uncommon James? For the jewelry, and you have clothes, too, correct?

We We're primarily jewelry, and actually now we have skincare. We've got merch. We've got sweats and T-shirts and shit. I was going to say I've seen merch and stuff like that. I wouldn't say we do clothing. But so for the jewelry, it just depends. I find that whatever's going on in my life is where I'm pulling inspiration from. During COVID, it was like I was doing a collection about adventure. When the world started opening up again, like what we would be doing, like a daydreaming collection. I was in Greece this past summer, and that inspired a whole collection. So it just depends on whatever is happening in my life. I love that.

It's fun. It's just little glimpses of where you're at in your life. You'll be able to look back on your collections and be like, Okay, I did this when I was here. I did this when I was with this person.

My daughter, Saylor, she has a collection coming out in I think it's April, but we designed it last New Year's, actually, when we were at the beach. That's really sweet. It's all this beach theme and stuff. It is a little scrapbook in a lot of ways of where I was at in my life. It That was fun.

I love that for you. Moving on to the very Cavalier drama that had happened. You had your best friend Kelly Henderson on the show. You guys had been friends for a really long time, correct?

Yeah, we had known each other. Well, actually, We met in 2010 when Jay and I started dating, but we didn't become close until a couple of years later. But yes, we definitely were friends for a while.

What happened on the show? Was it a storyline or was that really unfolding No, that was real.

What happened was, I think it was season 2, people started saying that it seemed like Jay and Kelly were having an affair. I actually was completely oblivious to any of that. But then I remember being like, Wait, what the fuck? And really starting to pay attention to it. I was like, I never once thought that anything was going on. I stand by that. I don't think anything happened. But my issue was how Kelly was handling it and adding fuel to the fire and taking advantage of it for her own benefit. I said something to her, and it just blew up in my face. I will always stand by the fact that if a friend came to me and said, Hey, listen, here's how your actions made me feel, I would go, Holy shit, that was not my intention. I am so sorry. Let's talk about this. And this is relationships, too. But when people can't take any accountability and turn it around and throw it in your face. I can't do that. You know what I'm saying? I've had a lot of experience with that. That's actually a huge thing for me moving forward with all of my friendships, relationships, whatever, is accountability is so fucking huge, and it's really hard for a lot of people.

Preach it, sister. Clip that, Jason. Clip that. That's a good one.

That is a good one. But I'm at a point in my life where... Because I can't do anything with that then. This is how I feel. If you can't acknowledge that, well, then I can't move on. That's basically what happened.

The rumors were that they were having an affair. You never once thought this is possibly true. Where does a rumor like that come around from?

Well, it was because of how she was with him. She definitely was crossing the line. Then the way she would talk about him on social media, it was always adding fuel to it where I was like, wait, what the fuck is actually going on? But no, I really don't think anything happened. I mean, fuck, I don't know, to be honest with you. Do I know for sure? No. Jay used to trash her, which I now think of a guy as trash a girl, it's because there's probably something going on. Did you ever confront him like, Hey, is this really going on?

Yeah.

He walked hand in hand with me during that whole thing. But when you're dealing with a pathological liar, it's hard to know what the fucking truth is. There are things from my marriage that I will never know, and I've just had to let that go. You know what I mean? I'm over it now, and that's why I can probably talk about it so freely.

I think that's such an amazing thing for you to say, though, that you can talk about it freely now, because there's a lot of women who have gone through divorces also that never got the apologies that they deserved.

And a lot of times you won't. I never I never will. But you have to do it for you. You know what I mean? You have to forgive them. Because at the end of the day, people who are lying to you or who are cheating or whatever the situation may be, that's because they're hurt. That's about them. That has nothing to do with me. When you can get to that place and almost have empathy for those people and realize how much they're struggling, it's not about me. I forgive Kelly. I forgive Jay for anything that he did. Anyone in my life, my dad, even, I have empathy for my dad because I understand why my dad is the way he is. I can have empathy and forgive these people and still not have them in my life. Those two things can coexist.

Has Kelly tried to apologize to you?

No. In fact, I saw her one time at the airport and she fucking bolted. I was like, I could give you a big hug right now and be like, whatever. I don't hold grudges. But that just tells me she hasn't worked through it. She's still holding on to that.

That's rough, man, because It also, at the same time makes her look really guilty of something. Why can't you just face me? I'm not even with this dude anymore. A hundred %. Never let a man get in between a friendship type of situation. Girl code.

Girl code.

What?

I can't even wrap my head around that.

You are on this TV show. You're doing your last hoor off with reality TV, as you said. Then all this blows up. What happened with Shannon Ford? Are you guys friends now?

I've seen her. Yeah, we're totally cool.

You guys are good now? Yeah. Okay, because I remember that was a whole thing, too. You're going through all of this, and then you and Jay are headed for a divorce. You guys get this divorce. How are you feeling in that moment?

That was such a crazy time. I felt so many different things. It was everything from such a weight being lifted to feeling like I could finally breathe to being so fucking devastated that I was tearing up our family. Obviously, coming from divorce parents, the last thing I ever wanted was a divorce. And I won't lie to you, that still will creep up once in a while. Christmas, I felt that. I got really sad Christmas Eve because I was like, it just sucks that we're not together as a family. I don't want to be back with Jay at all, but it's that family unit. That bums me out sometimes.

Do you guys think you could ever do a Christmas together eventually? How are you guys co-parenting right now?

It's been so up and down.

Well, not shocking because we've seen Jay's behavior.

Zero fucking consistency, which is really hard.

Yeah, you poor baby.

It has not been easy, to say the least. We sat together at a basketball game earlier in the year, and I was like, Holy fuck, this is the best thing that's ever happened.

You're like, I'll fucking take it, the bare minimum. Jesus Christ, we made it.

Ron, we can sit next to each other. We haven't sat together since, so I don't fucking know.

Jay, come on, babe. What the fuck?

Let's get it together. It's a bumpy road. I'm going to say probably no Christmases together, which is fine. To be honest, that's not even what I want. I think when you go through a divorce and you have kids, there are those moments where you're like, It's a bummer, just because you I don't want that. But there's also a lot of good, of course, that came out of that. I think even for my kids, it's going to make them stronger. I could list a thousand things of why it's positive, but I do have those moments.

In that moment, going through the divorce, just wrapping a reality show, how are you feeling? Even getting back into the dating scene.

That was easy for me. I was like, riding a bike.

We're going to get there, baby. We're going to get there, That was a piece of cake.

Well, you know what it was? I think so. I actually immediately started dating someone, and then I went from that to another thing immediately. For the first year, I was like, having fun. I'm free. I'm dating. I'm getting my spark back. Just fucking loving life, quite honestly. Then Jay and I actually went on a couple of dates. We went on a couple of dates trying to see if... Because, man, it's fucking hard. I think unless you've gone this, especially with a toxic marriage, it has this hold on you. Until you can-Trauma bond, almost. It's a fucking trauma bond. Until you can really break that, I would go back a couple of times and be like, But I know it's not right, but why am I doing It. But so we went on a couple of dates. Then after I finally, for the 18th millionth time, was like, I can't do this, then I really did the work. Then I had lonely times, I had sad times. It was really It was hard for me then to meet someone. I dated, but I didn't meet anyone that I liked for a really long time.

Because you're in the process of healing, and you're just like, eeu. You get the ick so easy.

So easy, which is a good thing. But then I had to really get real with myself and do the healing journey. It was good.

What's a wellness ritual that you do for yourself, to ground yourself?

I really do love meditating. Me too. I don't do it as much as I would like to, but when I do it, it's fucking powerful.

I just started doing sauna. I just started saunaing.

Do you meditate in the sauna?

That's my new thing. That's what I do. I just started doing it.

It's the best.

It's the best because you can't take your phone in there. I just set mine outside and I just sit in there for a half hour and just zone out. It's the best. You feel so good after you do it.

Well, they say it literally changes your vibration. I do love it. What else do I do? I actually have these Oracle cards, too. I like pulling Oracle cards. I love that for you. It's just fun. I got tarot cards, too. I think I'm like a fucking medium all of a sudden. I'm like, reading tarot cards.

You're like a little gypsey over there.

Like reading them for all my friends.

I would let you read my tarot cards.

I would love to read your tarot cards.

Let's do it. We'll have to do that. I'm coming over for dinner just so you can read my tarot cards.

Yes, let's go.

You've written books, you've built businesses, and you're raising a family. How do you define success for yourself these days?

I love that question. Success, I think, is inner peace, quite honestly. Period, it's that simple.

But I think- There's no... Peace is priceless.

That's the thing. I think what we were talking about earlier, when your whole life has not been peaceful, I value it so much. I feel lucky because I've gotten to a place where I've been able to curate my life to be exactly what I want. My podcast that I'm doing, Uncommon James, everything's on my terms. I'm my own boss. I can work when I want to work. My kids are always my a priority. If I want to take a week off and go fuck around, I can. That, for me is heaven. So I feel very, very lucky.

You're like a Phoenix that rose after that, that rises through the ashes.

Phoenix rising. Yeah. Thanks. That's how I feel.

No, Listen, girl, you're a warrior. Real recognize real. I get it, man. When you go through so much just tragedy and bullshit in the beginning of your life, all you want now is peace. You can ask my girls, I don't fucking even want... It's not fucking me, feeding me or financing me. I don't fucking care about what the fuck is you got going on. You want to come to me with some bullshit? Take it elsewhere.

I do not care. Exactly. No time for that.

After the divorce, you said that it was really easy for you to start dating.

Here we go. I love that little smile on your face.

Because you already know what's coming, baby. I know. Let's go. Was one of those men happened to be Morgan Morgan Lauren? How did I Because you dropped a bomb and the entire internet went insane. It was your friend Justin Anderson? Our suspect video.

Yes.

Oh, God.

Can we elaborate on this?

Because I have to navigate this.

Yeah, you guys know Morgan.

Well, see, here's the thing. I've seen Morgan numerous times. I've only hugged him. I've never had a conversation with him. My husband and him are friends, and my husband is like, That's my bubba.

Yeah, and Morgan's a good guy. He has a big heart. He really does.

He's a player from the Himalayas. 1,000 %. The amount of women that have sat on my couch that have been with Morgan Wallen is crazy.

He's been with every woman on the planet. As he should.

He's single.

Yeah, he's single. Absolutely should. He absolutely should. I definitely hung out with Morgan. Morgan, he's very sweet. Here's what I'll tell you is the first date that we went on, he was a true gentleman, and he was like, I'll pick you up. I'll pick the place. Just fucking handled business. He came and picked me up. He met my kids. My kids were so excited. It was so cute. He got us a private room. He had his bodyguard and whatnot and dropped me off. He kissed me in the rain, and it was the sweetest thing. Then we hung out there after. I will say it was a very... That was up and down, too. It was a lot.

They always say you'll find the same person in different bodies.

That's true. But yeah, I love Morgan. I haven't talked to him in probably a year, but I have nothing but good things to say about him.

Was he romantic? I've heard he's great in bed.

He was good in bed.

We got another one to confirm. Another one has Morgan. You slay, brother. Slay. We are in no way Morgan. God. Morgan is going to be heading up Jay like, Can you please tell your wife to never talk about me on her podcast again?

Only for you, Bunny. Only for you.

I appreciate it. But you did say, and we have to bring this up, you did say that he hurt your feelings.

Justin said that.

Okay. Justin said that.

Justin said that. Okay. God, I'm so sorry, Morgan. He didn't hurt my feelings. I'll be honest with you, Morgan was the first guy in my entire fucking life that wasn't just completely enamored with me. I was like, What in the fuck is going on? It really threw me.

Because you're used to people worship me.

Yes. I'm used to guys being crazy where I'm like, Whatever.

Well, it's probably because he has 20 other girlfriends.

Exactly. He was busy.

Allegedly.

But Yeah. It was one of those things where I was like, why do I keep going back to this guy when it's just like...

It's trying to get the approval of your father.

Yeah, exactly. I love having the upper hand, and I feel like with him, I didn't have the upper hand. I was like, I'm going to fucking I did it. Never did. I will say I walked away from him a couple of times, and I was ultimately the one that ended it. But I never felt like I had him. The only time in my life, so it really fucked with me.

Well, he has a reputation for being a bad boy. He lives up to it. The dude's throwing fucking chairs off roofs.

Listen, I'm glad that didn't work out. I don't want to be with Morgan. I love Morgan, but I don't want to be with Morgan.

I feel like Morgan might be a stepping stone for finding your true love. He's the bad boy that you want to play with. You tuck him away and you put him in the past when you find the man that you love.

At the time, quite honestly, I was like, I just want a fuck buddy in Nashville. That's really hard to find here for some reason. I wanted to make Morgan that, but it was just like- Yeah, Morgan seems to be the guy that wants to step up to the plate to be people's fuck buddies. He's a great fuck buddy. The problem is, honestly, he was on tour.

He's so busy. He was losing it over here. She knows so many girls that have been with him, too.

Even I do. I'm like, God.

Morgan has needs a support group.

No, literally, because everyone's heart is broken.

I know. Morgan, you're out here breaking people's hearts, man.

Oh, Morgan. But he was so busy, honestly, that it was just like, Why the fuck am What are we doing? This is silly.

It's just a stepping stone.

He was fun. We had a good time, and so all good.

Jason Stateman. Statham. Statham. How do I put it? Jason Statham.

Jason Statham.

How? No, that doesn't even seem like your type.

Oh, my God. When I was... How old was I? I was probably like, 21. I loved him. Yeah? I mean, not really. But I know he Yeah, we were really good friends.

Is he tiny?

He's smaller than you would think. They all are, though. You know what I mean? That's my issue with actors. They're never this macho-like- I feel like I'm bigger than every fucking person that I've seen on the big screen.

I know. Every time I meet him, and you're tiny.

You are so tiny. But so are you. No, you are.

But yes, these guys are tiny. Listen, I'm a big back bitch, and I'll take it. I identify as a big bag bitch. Hardly. They get so mad at me when I say it, but I'm like, Bro, I'm a big back bitch. You're fucking tiny. No, stop it.

No, but these guys, that's the thing. They're never what you want them to be. Ever. And they wear lifts. I know.

Did Jason wear lifts?

No. Okay. Well, maybe in the movies and shit. I don't know. But Jason is a great guy. He's a lot of fun.

Did you guys actually date date?

Or was it just more like a- We dated a little bit. Yeah, we dated a little bit. Wow. No, he was great. We had the same group of friends, so we started out as friends, and then it just escalated. But No, nothing but good things to say about Jason, too.

How long was it?

God, I don't even remember. I mean, because we were friends at first. God, this is so long ago. I would say maybe a year, but not like hooking up and dating. Probably a couple of months that that was going on.

Let's talk about your... Because we're going to hop off your dating for a second. Okay. She's like,. Let's talk about this beef you have with the Kardashian's. She's like, Let's hop out one frying pan into another.

Fuck. Okay, let's go there.

What is it about that family? Because I've had numerous people, and they sponsor my podcast. I do their ads on my podcast, too.

I'm like, out there talking shit.

They just renewed it for 2025.

I want to sit with us, too. Hey, if you want me to just keep talking shit, I will. No problem. I love it.

I love it. I think it's cool that they just don't care. They're like, You know what? We're going to fucking just sponsor the podcast. I know. There's a lot of people who have sat on my couch that have different stories, but the same scenarios with this family. It comes to a point where it's like, some of it can't be made up.

No. I think the thing is, I feel like we're living in this time right now where karma is really playing a role, and people are being held accountable on a big scale. I'm here for that. I fucking love that. Mine really stems from, God, again, I was probably like, 21 or 22. I had known Scott Disick. Same thing, same group of friends. We were always buddies.

You were with Brody Jenner, weren't you?

I dated Brody. Brody was my first boyfriend in LA. That's how. Yeah, it was all that group of people. Scott and Courtney started dating. That's how I met Courtney. I fucking loved Courtney. We were really good friends.

I could see you guys being... You guys are the same personality.

Very similar. Courtney was awesome. They broke up, and I was doing something in Vegas, actually. I went with a bunch of my guy friends. Scott happened to be one of the guys that came. Again, we were always just friends. He was devastated about Courtney. The next morning, we all went out. We had a good time. I was never even alone with Scott.

He was devastated about Courtney, but fumbled the ball. How many times?

Well, exactly. Men are always the victim.

Always the fucking victim.

I'm like, Maybe if you got your shit together, it would be a different story. But so the next morning, it was on page six or something that Scott and I had hooked up, and I was like, What in the motherfuck? My friend, Steve, was like, I know for a fact that was Scott who told them that, planted that to try to make Courtney jealous? Well, what do you know? That's in fact what happened. Courtney was really upset about it. I remember being on the phone with Courtney, being like, Courtney, you know that that's not true. I would never fucking touch Scott. I don't know. She was like, Well, I don't know. I just know I have sisters, and I would never put myself in that situation.

Her sisters have allegedly been with-Right?

I'm like, Okay. Then so they did end up getting back together, and we stopped talking. But I am like, Scott must have said it was true or something, because all it would have taken was for Scott to be like, That's not true. That was my issue, too, because this was on the cover of every fucking tabloid. I remember doing an interview, again, before social media. It's not like you can go on and defend yourself.

And clear your name.

Yeah. I remember doing an interview being like, That's not true. All it would take is one of the Kardashian to be like, That's not true for it to go away. But they wouldn't do that. That's the part that pisses me off is I think they have no regard for anyone else other than themselves.

They don't really defend themselves either.

I guess they don't do that.

There's sometimes Is that there's accusations coming out about them, and I'm waiting for one of them to speak up, and they never say a fucking word.

Well, I think talk about what we said earlier, they're in the camp of all press is good press for sure, where I'm like, no, this is my fucking reputation in my name. I'm like, I have an issue when something is so not true. If something comes out and it's true, I'm like, whatever.

Questions your integrity.

Yeah, but I'm like, I didn't fucking do that.

That explains why you were so mad when Scott reached back out to you.

I go on my podcast and just was talking shit about the Kardashian. It's like nothing in particular, but just talking shit. Then Scott Disick DMs me after fucking 15 years or something. I was like, I miss you. We should hang out. It just felt so calculated to me. This is what the Kardashians, and a lot of people in Hollywood do is when you're out there talking shit, they want to shut you up. It's keep your friends close and your enemies closer. I don't play that game. It's so fake to me.

Do you feel like Scott is still under control of that family?

Thousand %.

Okay.

I think so.

I feel like he's such a loose... He's like a loose one.

He is for sure. But I think at the end of the day, they definitely can control it.

They run them in in their lives. That's for sure.

Yeah, they do. Poor Rob.

Rob has disappeared He's an obscurity. I know.

I wasn't dancing with the stars with him. He's the sweetest, but he's... Where is Rob? Is Rob okay?

What is it that Brittany Spears is the yellow rose? Post a yellow rose if you need help.

Yeah, exactly.

Poor brawn. I know. All that estrogen, too. It's got to be just fucking insane. Moving on from your beef with the Kardashian's because it's really not even beef. I feel like it's legit. Your feelings are hurt, and Courtney should have been a better friend to know that you would not do that.

I honestly, I don't even really give a fuck, to be honest with you. But it's just the fact that Scott was trying to slide into my DMs. I was like, Oh, fuck off.

Yeah. But hey- You're like, Look, an elephant never forgets. I remember everything. Exactly.

You don't want to fuck with someone who has a weekly podcast. You know that? I'll come out and say whatever. I'm also a loose cannon sometimes.

Let's talk about your podcast really quick. What is the name of your podcast? People want to listen to it.

Let's be honest. Yeah, it's wherever you get your podcast. But It's a mix. That's what I love is having creative freedom with Uncommon James and the podcast to talk about whatever I want to talk about. I mean, you get that. If one week I want to talk about Scott Disick sliding into my DMs or interview a neurosurgeon, I have that freedom, which is really great and keeps it exciting for me.

I admire the fact that you can do podcasts by yourself.

Do you never do them?

No, I haven't mastered that.

I feel like you would be so good at that.

I feel like nobody wants to hear me talk that much.

Oh, that is not true. You would be so good at it.

I'll just be sitting here talking. I would probably be like, by the time I got done, they'd be like, Does she have five personalities? Because she literally made herself laugh, and she couldn't stop laughing, and then she got pissed off. What just happened?

It's weird.

It might be bad for me.

I remember when I started doing them, I was like, this is the most unnatural, awkward thing on the planet. I'm just talking to myself. It's weird, but it's a muscle. You would be so good at it, Bonnie. I feel like you should try it.

I don't know. Listen, if you guys see me talking to myself, it's because Kristen told me to do it. So let's talk about the Montana boy. Okay. Okay. Because, listen, I was fucking rooting for you, dude.

You were so cute on TikTok.

Because I was like, let this fucking woman live, bro. Thank you. I know. What was the age difference?

Thirteen years.

I mean, it's not terrible.

I mean, the thing is, I will stand by this. I still think age is just a number. It was so interesting for me to see how up in arms people were because I was older and I'm the woman compared to how it is for men.

But Demi Moore and Austin Kutcher got away with it, and they were the cuteest thing ever.

And there's so many people. Talk about Jason Statham. I think he's like 20 something years older than Rosie. There are so many relationships out there, and people don't bat an eye. But when a girl does it, that really pissed me off. I was like, What the fuck? Also, it's not like, I don't know. Okay, actually, here's my real opinion on it. This is what I think. I don't I think people give a shit that I was dating someone younger. I think it's that I can do whatever the fuck I want in my life. I'm out there doing what I want, and a lot of people can't do that, and that's what's triggering for people. Amen. Yeah. It was fascinating for me to see that whole thing.

To see the reaction. How did you guys meet? How did that come about? Did you see him on TikTok? And you were like, I want that one.

Okay. Yeah. Literally. I saw him on TikTok, and I was like, fuck, he's so hot. But okay, that was that. Then a couple of months later, he DMed me on Instagram, and I was like, what the fuck?

You manifested that.

I literally did. Then found out they were moving to Nashville. I was like, well, fuck, if this isn't meant to be.

You're like, I need to welcome him home.

I needed that fuck, buddy. I was like, Oh, but it's not Morgan.

Listen, 13 years younger, you know it's going to be good.

There you go.

How was your guys' relationship? If you could sum it up in a nutshell.

It was great, honestly. We did have a real connection. I don't want to minimize that at all. He's a really good guy. It was a beautiful relationship. I have nothing bad to I say, it was fun until it wasn't. It was like, I felt the age difference. No shit, no shock. Of course, and I get that. Everyone's like, I fucking knew it. It's like, okay, but we We all knew it.

Let me have fun.

I was having fun.

It's called the fling for a reason.

Exactly. Am I supposed to marry everyone I date? I don't understand. I was having fun. I think people forget that the last five years have been my dating era. I always had boyfriends. I met Jay when I was 23. I never was able to date and figure out exactly what I want and figure out myself through dating. That's what I've been doing the last five years, and that was really fun for me. It was a distraction It was a distraction, too. It was a distraction. It was really easy. It just naturally fit into my life. I said this on my podcast, but it's maybe selfish looking back, but I didn't really have to bend for him in a lot of ways. He just fit into my life. With where I'm at in my life, that was really... It was perfect. What you needed. It was what I needed. Yeah, but Mark's a great guy.

I never even knew his name. I just know him as Montana Boy.

I love you.

That's Montana Boy.

The Montana Boy.

Anybody that talks to me I thought it was like, yeah, her and the Montana Boy. I know. Did you ever look around when you were with him and just be like, maybe this is not a diss to him at all. It's just maybe this is too small for me because you do have such a lure and you're an Icon, and not saying that he won't be, but I mean, all he has right now is the shirtless TikTok videos.

Yeah. I think it's a combination of... Yeah. I mean...

That's not me being mean. I'm just trying to keep it real. He's beautiful.

I think when you are young and you don't have life experience, coupled with maybe not a lot going on in your life, there's not a lot to talk about. There's not a lot to bring to the table.

They're just pretty to look at.

Which can go for a minute. That'll get you through for a minute. No, I get it. Until it won't. And so, yes, I came out of it and was craving real depth and emotion Emotional Intimacy.

Seduce my mind, and then you can have my body. That's what I always say.

Yeah. Now I'm really in that mode of I want to learn something from a man. I want to- Yeah, teach me, Daddy.

I I love that. But that's what I'm saying.

It's fun. This whole journey that I'm on is really fun, and it's the evolution of me, and I'm figuring it out. I love that I had that as part of my overall story. Fuck, yeah, I dated a 24-year-old.

Was Was he ever insecure with what he had going on and then what you had going on? Did that ever become an issue with you guys?

I mean, we have to remember, too. We only dated for seven months. I think... But no, I don't think that was an insecurity for him. Listen, I think he was along for the ride. He was just happy as to be.

He was like, I'm fucking Kristen Cavalieri.

He was very content. You can't tell me shit. No, I don't think that was an issue.

Was he sad when you guys broke up?

Yeah, it was really hard. It was really hard. It crushed me, quite honestly, because I knew I was breaking his heart. And so, yes. Actually, it's been one of the harder breakups for me in the sense where, normally, I'm done, great, I'm moving on. I never even think about the guy again, but I think I've had a lot of guilt about it, and I feel really bad. Because he's so sweet. He's so sweet. He really is so sweet. And It's been hard for me to let it go. We've stayed in touch, too, and I think that probably makes it harder as well.

Would you give it another old wrap-around? No. The old wrap around.

As much as I love getting between the sheets with him.

Look at her. She's all playing with her and her neck. She's all excited.

No, I have to just close that door.

She's like, No, I'm fucking healing, all right? I'm trying to heal.

Yeah, we're in our healing process. No, I actually... I'm dating someone else now.

Can we Do they know who it is?

I'm not going to say who it is, and it's really new, but- Is he in the spotlight also? He is a retired athlete, which I will tell you.

You love the athletes.

Fuck, they love me, I think. They always find me.

I love that.

But he's- You're a wag. I'm a fucking wag through and through. He's such a good guy, and it's new, but he checks all the boxes where I'm like, Fuck, this is what I've been needing. So we'll see. He's coming in a couple of days to with me.

Tell us who it is, and we'll bleep the name out.

Okay, bleep it out.

Okay. I don't know who it is. Yeah.

He wasn't a big... I don't know. I don't know because I don't know athletes really that much. But yeah, he retired a couple of years ago, and he has so much depth, and I was I love talking to him. Is he older? He's 40. Good. Yeah, he has kids. We connect on so many different levels, which is awesome.

Is he cute? He's cute. Mimi's over there googling.

Yes, but let me show you real photos of him, not fucking...

Sweaty hockey ones.

The athletes never look good in their photos online. I was like, get them in real life, and they're so much better.

No, that's how I felt about what was that one Rader's, the fire crotch? He was so damn fine. I even told my husband. I think his last... Max Crosby. I was like, We saw him at a game, and I was like, who's this? I texted my husband. I go, My new favorite number is, I think, 98. That was his number, and he goes, Oh, you're a Max Crosby. Yeah, he knew. I love it. I love it. My husband was like, go, baby, go.

See, that's such a good relationship when you're just confident and secure. The fact that you can say that to him. I feel like all my ex-boyfriends would be like, what? Oh, my God. Are you going to leave me for him? You know what I mean? That energy.

I've been in relationships like that, and I refuse.

I won't do it again.

It took me a long time when I got with Jay to really understand the non-jealousy because I came from such jealous relationships. I used to get upset with him. I'm writing this in my book, actually. I used to get upset with him like, Do you not love me? Why aren't you fighting for me? Fight over me. But I realized that's the toxicity in me that wanted that in him. He never rose to that occasion. I love that. Now I'm just like, God, I couldn't imagine being with a jealous human like that.

I'll never do that again.

Never.

I love that for you. That's so nice.

You're going to find it, too. I know. You're too much of a beautiful woman to not have somebody see how fucking special you are. Thank you. Yeah, It's coming, baby. I can feel it.

Yeah, me too.

Let's talk about this home invasion that you just recently started talking about it.

Yeah, I haven't talked about it because honestly, my kids still don't know. Even when I talked about it on my podcast and it hit the media and stuff, I was sitting there like, Fuck, is my oldest going to say something to me? Because he has all the things. My boys have phones and stuff, but he never said anything to me. I was like, All right, hopefully he dodged that bullet.

Yeah, we won't clip this.

Yeah, don't clip this. We won't. It was actually during 2020. We were in the Bahamas for spring break, and we ended up being there for a month because it was when COVID hit. I had all my uncommon James jewelry laid out in my closet And earlier in the day, our HVAC unit broke, so we had workers in the house fixing it. Okay. So Camden, my oldest, and I, who this is almost five years ago. So he was like, what, six or seven? Don't make me do math on the spot. But He was sleeping with me that night. We went to bed early, so I had no idea where anyone else was in the house. I woke up to the door was opening and the light from the kitchen woke me up, and I was so out of it. I honestly thought it was Jay. And thank God because I go crawling on the bedroom floor. I go, what the fuck are you doing? And this guy is like, oh, fuck, stands up, runs out. I was like, whole fuck. He had a ski mask on, long black sleeves, black pants, the whole nine.

Like, while you're sleeping.

Sleeping with my fucking baby in bed with me. Then I'm like, holy fuck. But I didn't want to wake up Camden. So your instincts just kick in. But I'm like, Fuck, I have to go out in this house and figure this out. I have no idea where he is or where Jay is or the kids or whatever. So I grabbed my phone, I text Jay. I'm like, Are you awake? No response because it's 1:00 AM. So I'm like, fuck, I go out in the house and I'm just looking around. I go in another bedroom, no one's there. I go upstairs. Finally, I find Jay. As soon as I woke up Jay, I got really nervous. Before that, I was like a fucking Navy SEAL just going. Mama bear mode. Yeah, your instincts just kick in. Then once Jay woke up, I was shaking. I got so scared. Long story short, it was one of the HVAC unit guys. He took all the cash that we had in a backpack, but we got it back. It was like a guy that worked at the resort that we were at.

And you wanted to go to the Bahamas.

I know. You know what's fucked up? I've been to that resort since.

Bitch is like, Yolo. Can't scare me, bitch. I love that, though. You're like, You know what? I'm going to go back and just face it head-on. Exactly. Face your fears.

That's one of those things that I won't tell my kids that until they're older. But unless I keep talking about it and they find out.

But it's crazy that you don't have fear from that because that's scary. You have fucking PTSD from that. I know.

I'll tell you what, I don't know. I think even living in LA and stuff, I used to be so scared. Living in this little house that I had in West Hollywood, you're on top of your neighbor, the whole thing. But living out here, I'm like 20 minutes from here, in the middle of nowhere, I'm on 130 acres. I feel so safe. So safe. Again, it's just at peace. It's just a good feeling. I don't know. I've got German shepherds. I've got a gun. I've got the whole thing.

It's like, I just- She said, Bitch, I'm strapped with dogs.

Don't get it twisted. But I feel really safe out here. I love that. It's a good feeling.

What is 25 have in store for you?

It's a good question. I hope to just continue to just be where I'm at. I used to be such a planner and be like, I need to do X, Y, and Z this year. I've gotten into this more of a headspace of just letting life unfold. And that's not to say I don't have goals. I'm going on a podcast tour. There are really fun things happening, but I'm just letting it all happen. I don't know.

We'll see. Whatever happens, happens. Just letting the universe just come to you freely.

Yeah, I love that. I love that.

I love where you're at in life. I love the space that you're in. I feel like you've fought to be here, and it's something to be proud of.

Thank you. I appreciate that.

A lot of people don't figure it out, and a lot of people victimize themselves, or they wallow in self-pity, and you're just out here being like, You know what? This has happened. I did this. I did this. I take accountability, and I'm moving the fuck on.

Because there's no growth in the victim mentality. You got to take charge Which is the finish of your life. That's what I would tell people. Take your life in your own hands and do the damn thing.

I love it. I'm going to be doing that with you in 2025. I'm planning a birthday trip for me, and I never do that. It's the first time I've celebrated my birthday, and I can't even... She was shook. But I want to go out of the country. This year, I'm just like, I have worked my ass off my whole life. I just want to fucking have fun this year. I might even drink some alcohol. I've been sober since 2017. I'm like, Look at Haley's. Hey, I got to drink a beer with Haley one night.

Are you sober, sober? Are you California sober?

No, I'm sober, sober. Amazing. I white knuckle through life, baby. It's brutal. It's brutal. But I had to. I had to do it for my social and emotional healing that I had to go through. No, I get it. When I hit 40, now I'm about to be 45. I'm like, You know what? I've done the work. Let me fucking just have fun.

There you go. See, I love that. Good. You should go have some fun.

No, that's why I understand where you're at, too. Just letting things happen. Yeah, I love it. Thank you for coming on the podcast. Thank you. I appreciate you being here.

I appreciate you so much.

We actually get to end the season with Kristen, right? Oh, hell, yeah. Yeah. You're like our season finale, baby. Love that. Going out with a bang. Yes.

Well, thank you. Thank you.

Tell people where they can find you if they don't know.

Just Kristen Cavalari, Instagram and TikTok. Then, let's be honest, my podcast every Tuesday. Yeah.

You guys go check her out. You'll fall in love with her just like I did. I love you. What is it in 2000? 2006? 2004. 2004.

God, I can't believe it.

I can't believe it.

20 years. 20 years ago. Yeah, it's wild. It makes me feel old. Insane.

Thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of Dumb Blonde. I'll see you guys next season. Bye.