Transcript of Mom's Car: Briegh Morrison

Hello, and welcome to Mom's Car. Today is an incredibly special episode. Again, for anyone that listened to Armchair Expert over the last seven and a half years, you've probably heard me talk a bazillion times about my ex-girlfriend, Bre Morison, who I still just adore to no end. She's such an incredible person, an incredible mom. She's just gone through an incredible journey, and I'm just delighted that we finally got to sit down and talk and I introduce her to everybody in the armchair world. So please enjoy my ex-girlfriend, Bre Morison.

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Don't you find that charming that Kristin could drive any car and this is her car, an entry-level Chevy Bolt?

I mean, yes. I feel the same way about myself. I'm like, this is the one I want. And also, I don't want to wash it.

Yeah, it's not for you. It just gets dirty. You got the right color for that, which is white.

I got the absolute last one.

It was like COVID mad dash for that?

Yes, it was 2021. Okay, yeah.

But it was a mad dash. But it was a terrible time to buy a vehicle.

And I just had to get a vehicle. Mine was due at the lease shop or whatever. So I was like, I got to go get it now.

What did you come out of into that van? What had you been driving?

Volkswagen.

You don't even know. Ferrari? You don't care. Volkswagen, Ferrari? Yeah.

I was like, No, it was like an SUV.

Yeah. But I thought it was- But I think I do know the name of that.

Again, it was like I was trying to eat outside my class. I believe Aaron was originally the one- Tyrell, remember his old theory? Yeah, you can't have lobster. You can't eat outside my class.

The people in the Middle Ages would die if they had steak. I don't know where he would have learned that.

I actually use that a lot. In fact, the more money we have, the lower I go in general. I'm like, I don't need to keep up with that. That's not me.

Right, but have you been infected with anything? Because I can admit the things that I've been infected with. It's humiliating. No, not jewelry.

Jewelries are mine. I like a nice jewelry. You still like a nice jewelry. I also still like vintage clothing, but I like real nice vintage clothing.

You go and get it from the RealReal? Where do you get your vintage clothes?

No, I get it from this place, AMT Vintage in Pasadena. I'll get the used Gucci bag.

Oh, sure. So they have high-end-They have high-end, but it's used and it's already a little bit trashed.

I got these Chanel flats.

It looks like you have owned it for a while.

Yeah. I just don't mind because I will trash it. I can't not trash things.

Just fast forward to it. I'm just a trash person. You're a trash monster. You've always been a trash monster. Always.

So it will get dirty and gross, so I might as well. But I still like the fancy.

But you and I, well, all three of us, come from a modest background. You and I were broke for a decade together. And I do certain things now where I go like, I can't believe I'm this person. I don't have much shame or guilt about it. I've worked through most of it. But hotels, I'm such a fucking snob. When you go to an incredible hotel on vacation, for me, it makes it so much better because then I don't care what we do. I'm just delighted to be at the hotel. We were at a terrible hotel last year in Norway, and I was like, I can't believe how uncomfortable I am. This is really humiliating.

I can't do it.

How much this is roomy. I can't live like this. I couldn't possibly live like this. Yeah, I was like, mismatched pillow cases, some silk, which I hate. I don't want public silk, communal silk. No. No. Silks were like you and yourself. Maybe your wife.

I like a nice hotel, but I also still-That hasn't gotten you. No. We're driving up to Washington. We just need to stay at a dog friendly motel somewhere. I'll be okay with that. Although we are staying in a hotel that I really love. Do you know the Mcminimons? French Branch. No. Okay. I need to get hip to it. Well, Mcminimins is a series of hotels. You can get points if you stay at them a lot, but they convert old cool places. So they've converted this old nunnery, this like, franciscan nunnery into a hotel. In Seattle? In Bend, Oregon. So it's on the way because we're driving up.

Do you remember the time we slept in Stockton on the way to go to your house, your parents' house? And there was a drug dealer next door, and it was getting progressively crazier throughout the night. And then there was people being thrown against the wall. And we were like, Oh, is there going to be shots fired through the wall?

But I feel like that was a lot of stops on the motorcycle trip as well. Yes. When you would just be like, after 10 hours. I mean, I was sleeping on the back, obviously.

Yeah, you were just like Aaron on our road trips. We slept at least half of the ride from Detroit to kill him.

Just on the back of the motorcycle. Yeah. I was all asleep. I wasn't even strapped.

What were your plans? Because you intended to do a ton of reading on the back of the motorcycle.

I did do a bunch of reading.

Okay.

Like with an actual book.

Yeah, you could just open it right up. You could just really do a lot of reading.

Were the pages- The thing is we didn't...

No, because you just hold it tight.

Hold it tight. Don't hold on to the motorcycle at all.

I just love, too. There's no pictures from that era. Very few. I'm like, did it happen?

Yeah, you're so right. We took no pictures. We took one picture that was really high priority to me, which is you were driving the cop car. Oh, yeah. And you were next to me on my Harley, and I had the cruise control on, and I was sitting on the back seat. There we go. Like, looking because you could put it on your credit card if you got a Harley credit card.

You should have been reading that.

I should have had one of your books.

One of the greatest things I did was that stretch of highway where there's no exits, so there's no cops. I went like, 135 miles an hour. And that was to this day. That's very fast for you.

How fast can you go?

How fast does a car go?

Oh, well, it depends which one you're on, but that's- That cop car.

How fast did that go?

Oh, probably 130. Yeah, 135.

I mean, it had to go 135. It must have gone. It went at least there. Well, I guess I went over. It went as fast as the thing It was so thrilling. I only did it for about 15 seconds because it was so scary.

That ranks for me, the Harley trip in the summer. It was 10 days. We rode from bar to bar to bar.

Remember when we went to Wisconsin and we bought everyone in the bar a drink because they were like 25 cents a week? Yes, it was 25. It was flooded. People had taken their rowboats to the bar from to the bar. How did it be? It was like, flooded up there. No, I mean, the highway wasn't flooded. This was like, It was like down local. The valley was flooded.

Have you been to those bars in Wisconsin where you're in someone's house? There's just bars in people's houses?

I love them. Yes, and I went on quite a few trips. I'm sad we never got to do one together.

Yes, and probably a blessing.

Well, probably, yeah. But yeah, I love those bars.

Everyone has a Paps Blue ribbon sign in front of their porch. Totally. So you can just go in. Anyone can have a liquor license. Yeah, that's a very Wisconsin-y thing for sure. Where's that trip rank for you?

I actually talk about that one a lot. Well, also because it was just so visceral. Yes. You'd be so dirty. Your arms would just be so dirty.

Because we had to put so much sunblock on.

When you had that drink at the end, you were so good because you were just. Because we put on a lot of hours in a day in a motorcycle.

You deserve those drinks.

Yeah, you did. It's only like- You rustic in right there was a real-An old haunch of yours? Yeah.

What was the Fred Eric's restaurant you worked at? A Vida. A Vida.

Just Vida. The one thing I'm really sad about from the fires is he had a wine key made for me that was engraved with DJ Breed because I would make all the mixes for the restaurant, and somehow it got thrown away with the cleanup because it threw away a lot of silverware and stuff, and I can't find it. My house didn't burn down, so I'm pretty lucky.

It didn't burn down, but it is-I only lost a wine key. But it's poisoned with lead. No, you could wash it.

Okay. I don't use it that much anymore I don't drink, so I'm like...

No, the house.

Oh, the house. I'm still thinking about the wine key, guys. Okay. No, the house is filled with toxic lead. It's supposed to be five, and ours is 200. And this is after it was cleaned.

Wait, it's supposed to be five and it's 200?

Five is like the UG level for floor's interior. And I just wiped it up after the cleaning and it was 200.

Now, but have you considered... You never tested it before the fires?

Not before the fires. By the way, the other rooms are not that high. The windows in the kitchen and the living room blew open with the fire. So the smoke came into the living room and all the other doors I closed because I was actually very good, like post-apocalyptic person. I had every battery out. I was testing the batteries. We filled every headlamp because the power was out. I had the extra water containers and the backpacks. Yeah, on it.

It was really good. Where did you guys safe Harbor at?

We went to the Omni downtown. We just kept looking for hotels until we found one.

We had a bunch of people at our house.

Oh, yeah. You offered. Thank you. That was nice.

Oh, right. I forgot I did that. It was fun. Oh, I bet. I always feel guilty about this. Covid was fun. 9/11 was so fun. Oh, my God.

Do you remember going-We woke up, we were smoking cigarettes in bed watching it. God, freaking.

We did.

We literally lit up cigarettes. We were like, Fuck it, we could smoke inside. It's 9: 11. This had just happened. We might be dead. We didn't smoke in bed every day.

We didn't? I think we did. I remember I wouldn't really open my eyes until the cigarette was in my lips and I was about to light it. The second I woke up, I was reaching for the soft pack, and then I would light it, and then I'd be like... And then I'd open my eyes. Do you think back on how absolutely terrible our apartment must have been for nonsmokers? We were hosting Super Bowl parties.

Didn't they all smoke, too?

No, Scottie had asthma and didn't smoke. Nate smoked only when he drank.

The whole world smelled like smoke back then, though. Maybe less than California, but a little.

It was a tiny apartment. Even I sometimes would be like, Oh, it's very smoky in here. It's too smoky.

It's smoking for me. I actually think it's so funny. I think about that apartment a lot right now because it was my first remodel because now I'm deep in remodeling again. I actually really love it. I made that apartment so freaking cute with that giant bookshelf that is the strongest thing that's ever been made.

The one I made for your birthday.

That was the hugest, biggest. I think you put four by first. I They were next to each other.

It was thick. Yeah, it's a little overbuilt. Where am I going?

Turnaround. Turnaround?

Okay.

Burri, we had Tim Lovestead in here the other day. How nice. Yeah, a little blast from the past. Dax asked him, Where did you guys meet? And Tim's like, I think we met at your house in Santa Monica at the apartment. Dax said, Well, that must have been a real fucking smoky apartment if Aaron was there with me and Bri.

I don't remember it, but then again, my fondest memory is still holding the little ashtray in the center with my grandparents smoking. It was like a Scottish checked pattern, and I would just let the sandbag, and they would just… Let the ash fall over my face. So cigarette smoke in interiors is actually like a Proustillian Madeline for me. So I like it. I like that you can drink and drive non-alcoholic beers.

Well, that's what we assume. I don't I don't know if you can or not. I certainly have.

It's a pretty good assumption. Yeah.

I mean, you're not allowed to drink and drive. Why not? I go in and get it. Okay. You were saying Tim, though. Oh, yeah. Yes.

The smoky apartment. So I should probably get back in nicotine is what you're saying. I like it. Now that it's good for you.

It's a good product. It's like this for a while. Now you have all these different delivery systems. I have the lozange, of course. But then also this is just straight spray. It's just straight nicotine. There's no other bullshit in it.

I just feel like I've gotten over it.

You've gotten over it. When's the last time you had nicotine?

Oh, jeez. Oh, I'll tell you. The night before I started chemo.

Okay, good for you.

Went up on my roof and I smoked a cigarette and I cried and said all the prayers, I want to make it while smoking a cigarette. I'm not going to be able to do this anymore. Probably not a good idea. I didn't smoke for a long time, until Isaac was four, near drowning. I remember. And that was very stressful as once in a half.

That's the most haunting story I think I've heard about a kid.

I just a pack of cigarettes, and then my kids even know this. I just buy a pack of cigarettes, go behind a Target parking lot, smoke, leave it there. The whole pack. The whole pack, I would leave it there, thinking that somebody else would want to smoke behind a Target parking lot. It's an amazing place. I would come back a week later, and sometimes a pack would still be there.

Oh, my God, really?

And then I would smoke another one.

In LA? Insane.

Yeah, the Eagle Rock one.

So basically, you're just keeping your cigarettes behind Target.

Yeah, basically.

I And they'd be in the car?

No, I never smoked in the car.

No, I mean, would they be waiting in the car as you were buying in a dart behind Target?

No. Oh, okay. No, this would be like, I'm going to run to Target, and then I would go to Target and get the things I needed. And then there's two targets that I do this at. There's one that's actually behind the old Macy's in Ego Rock. It's like people were recycling on the side. And every time I drive down the two and I look over, never see anyone there, and I'm like, It's a missed opportunity.

Did you have one target? Did you shop that and one, you smoked that?

No, I shopped at and one you smoked at? No, I shopped and smoked at the same. But I also would smoke behind the La Cunyada one.

Will you tell Aaron that terrible story? Oh, no. You don't want to tell him.

I mean, I can tell the story. It's like when Isaac drowned? Yes.

It's just one of the most brutal stories I've ever heard. I've told so many people that story. I guess I should ask you if you're comfortable with it. Yeah, I am comfortable with it. Well, let's just acknowledge this. You're so part of us having kids, which is you probably wouldn't even remember doing I remember I was in Northern Michigan and you called me randomly and you said, Do not miss this. You had had a kid and you're like, You know me, I'm selfish. And trust me, none of the work feels like it's work, and you just can't miss it. It's the greatest. And of course, I already wanted to have kids. But I did get off the phone with you and I'm like, Let's go. Yeah, let's go. And I remember saying to Kristen, I'm like, Yeah, I just talked to Bri. She just talked to my ex-girl and said, It's time for us to... She said it's okay. Let's do it. Bri advise us to procreate.

I think I might have also called you after the drowning and said, make sure your kid goes to swim to Bill or one of those swimming classes. Well, the thing is he had already done one of those swimming classes. It was 11: 00 AM because, of course, your first thing is like, I wasn't drinking. I said to my friend, I was like, Okay, you got eyes on Isaac. I had paid to have a pool fence put up in the rental in Atlanta.

Yeah, your husband was producing a movie in Atlanta.

And then it was the very first day we'd use the pool. We were in and out of the pool so much. I he just took down one of the panels, and I'm sitting there, I'm holding her infant baby, and all of a sudden, I just didn't hear Isaac chitter-chatter. He's like,. He liked to talk guys, this little twice. I just didn't hear him, and I stood up, and the one, literal one section of the pool, I could not see. He was laying face down in it. I ran across the water, pulled up lifeless, just no breathing, no anything, threw him over the side, got up on my stomach here and started doing compressions. Because I was a teacher, or had been a teacher, too, I knew… Anyway, I got so confused. I started doing the mouth thing, too, and you're only supposed to do chest compressions, just PSA. I started breathing, and then he started going like… I was like, Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God. But he wasn't breathing enough.

How long were you doing chest compressions and stuff before he made a noise?

A minute. I can't even imagine. Wrench, crying, screaming the address out, Call 911, whatever the address was. I knew it. I'm screaming it. The ambulance was there within five minutes. I mean, it was absolutely insane. But what ended up happening, the worst thing is that I ended up aspirating vomit back into his lungs because of doing the wrong thing.

And by the way, you're the daughter of a firefighter. If you're a firefighter, if you can't get it right, what are the odds? I'm not going to get it right. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. Anyway, he was 100% fine. He's mensa.

Yeah, he's golden. But you had a big wave of depression after that.

Oh, huge. Joya put me on a benzo almost immediately. I was like, No, I don't actually like pills at all. I don't even take an Advil. I was like, No, I don't want to do it. She's like, Oh, no, you're at risk for advanced onset aging. You know the people... I was like, Sign me up. Give it to me. You know when the person is like, His hair is turning black and too bright.

Like Obama. Yeah, like stress, like extreme stress will do that.

So that was why I took it. I remember I took it for three days, and it just basically tamps down. You don't have the Yes, it makes it manageable. Yeah, I don't even know.

Anyway, that was-How long were you fucked up over that?

I mean, no. No, it's fine. You know what? I just think of guilt. You just tried to be such a good mom. I don't remember. I mean, probably not too long. I tend not to.

Yeah, you keep it moving. Here you go. I hated that story so much. I'm so glad I heard it because I was like, Oh, right. It can happen when you're doing everything right.

I think I saved many children's lives. And so none of these have come out? No. Okay. And they get edited so we can say whatever we want. Yes, yes, yes, yes. It won't necessarily be on. Yeah. You smell good.

I've always wanted you.

I was telling Erin that I keep trying to get this side, so I don't give a camera my...

What do you got? She's missing a little tooth. Oh, you're missing a tooth. From what? Is that cancer right?

A little bit. I got an infection. I mean, I had so many infections. It was insane.

Because your immune system is completely destroyed?

Yeah, when you're doing chemo.

Could we start at the beginning?

Oh, jeez.

Are you comfortable?

I heard secondhand. I'm very curious.

I have to say that the two saddest moments I've had for other people are both of you. I've lost parents and stepparents. When Aaron got sick, Aaron got really sick a few years ago. I probably didn't tell you. Well, five and a half years ago, six years ago.

Six years ago now, yeah.

Okay. What did you have?

This is what led to me getting sober.

Sober, yeah. Cancer led to me getting sober. It's funny when the thing becomes a gift, the hard thing. But I also read, I don't remember, I keep trying to figure out which author it was, but I was in college, and they were saying that you're only able to experience the amount of joy in direct opposition to the amount of suffering that you've experienced. Oh, that's- So not that that should be a reason for going down a dark road.

No wonder I'm so fucking happy.

Yeah, no, I know. Sometimes I'm like, Holy shit, I've never known joy like this before. There's something about coming through that meat grinder of anything scary like that.

When you told me you had been diagnosed with cancer, I was pretty devastated.

Yeah, I heard.

Me too. From Dax.

How did you discover it?

Well, what I really like is just how on trend I am because I feel like everybody has.

You're nobody if you haven't gone to. No, I know.

I'm pretty much all the coolest girls.

That bitch doesn't know what to talk about. She hasn't even been through cancer yet.

What's crazy is that I actually got not just mammograms. I got these extra breast ultrasounds because I had really big boobs, and they were very dense.

Does that up your odds?

It ups your odds for not being able to detect it. So nothing detected it. I was going to a hippy-diffy naturopath-type doctor anyway, just optimize aging and doing different sorts of things. And she randomly called in an MRI. She was like, there's something... One of my Sonocinase is what they're called. They're this really elaborate ultrasound that goes in. She's like, one of them was missing. The clinic had changed ownership. One of my images was missing. She's like, well, something's different from this one and this one on the right side. So she's like, well, let's get an MRI. Let's just do it. Somehow she called it and insurance paid for it. I got it done. There's nothing on this side. This side lit up like a Christmas tree. I had It was a 240 gram tumor. It was 11 centimeters. It was huge, but it's lobular cancer. So it grows like a slime mold with these tiny... You couldn't even feel it. Even when I had the full tumor in there, you could not feel a lump.

It wasn't hard and It was like fluid cancer.

It's not fluid, but it just felt like- Slime. No, it didn't feel like anything. I thought it was like three centimeters. But once she got in there, she's like, oh, my God.

They can visually see it once they're in there?

Once she's in there, she could visually see.

So when you've got that first MRI, what's the response from everyone from the second they read it?

Doctors are so clinical. They were just like, you have breast cancer? No, the MRI, then they did a biopsy. So they don't know anything. From the MRI, they're like, this doesn't look right. And then they do a biopsy. So they pull the tissue out and then they test it, and then they know exactly what it is. So it's lobular, stage 2B, but they didn't know how big or how much was in there. So once they go in for surgery, she was able to get all the margins. They took a bunch of lymph nodes, hadn't spread my lymph nodes.

Okay, that's great. But as you told me, it had left the breast, right? And it made its way almost into your armpit?

No. Well, it was really almost all the way Take your shirt off. To the wrist. Actually, my surgeon did a great job.

Sorry. No. Okay, so once they got in there, though- Once they got in there, they took it out, and then there's the cancer surgeon, and then there's the reconstructive surgeon.

So he tried to make the right one match the left one, but they had to take so much out of the left one that he didn't take as much out of the right. So it was a little lopsided for a minute. I didn't think I was going to have to do chemo, but then they run your numbers, and they're like, You're this age, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So then I ended up having to do chemo. I did 30 30. I mean, it was black. The skin was falling off. It's like getting a sunburn and then being like, All right, let's go to the beach. The next day, just get another sunburn. Right after the surgery. Six weeks after the surgery, I started chemo. Six weeks after chemo, I started radiation. Then six weeks after radiation, they put me on all the meds, which I'm now on. Then I also had reconstruction, and they basically take fat, which is great. They took fat in my waist, and then they like, plump it Oh, wow.

You didn't have to have a saline implant?

No, which is great. But what was great is I had a lot to offer, to take away.

Do you think that God smited you because you valued your boobs too much?

Well, this is one of those things where I actually definitely- If I got a cancer, it would definitely be dick.

I definitely feel smoth.

Yes. Pride goes before the fall. Vanity is a sin. I was so devastated about losing any of the tissue. You're God's gift. And now I'm super stoked because I get all these new clothes and they look different. I look thinner and I like it. So I'm into it. But again, you don't know what the gifts are going to be until you go through.

And how did you do with all the sympathy that came your way? I tried to imagine all the different stages of this. It's, of course, very hard to imagine someone looking at you and going, Yeah, okay, you have tons of cancer. That's certainly a moment. But I called you and I'm like, I just want to be with you.

I love that part because I am super, super social. I to always be chit-chatting with people. So anyone who wanted to come around and hang out with me, but you had three different camps. You had the people who were just like, I want to spend as much time with you before you die, or I want to make sure I spend quality time with you. I was super happy, and that was really fun. There were the people who were just like, your cancer is too hard for me, and they just leave. They're just gone.

Without naming anyone, were there a couple that shocked you? Like, wow, I thought we were closer than this? Yes. And has there been residual damage from that or you got over it?

I get over it because, again, I'm an unlimited well of put in more conversations, just put in more people. I just always want to be social. Or it was just where I would still hang out with them, but I had to do a lot of like, it's okay.

Yeah, consulting them.

Comforting them. Most people were just fine. I also love to get A pluses. I've always got A pluses. I'm like a 4. 0 student, and I got a fucking AP level A plus in cancer.

I'm not shocked.

No, I did so good.

I tried to always explain. When I tried to explain our time together to people, I go, Well, this was the pattern. Whatever I did, pre-came and did much better immediately. I worked at Chosen Shoes. She was people like me. You went there and my mom was like, I want to give her the company.

I was very good at Chosen Shoes. But I've also come to realize that about myself is that you aren't going to find someone who works more. I'm always moving, always cleaning, but I don't really like the pressure of big jaw. I don't know.

Right. Let's keep that in mind for somewhere down the road in this conversation, you cleaning a certain boat, maybe after sniffing a lot of drugs. Do you remember this story?

Oh, my I don't know if I remember.

I need to tell it again. I don't know. Cleaning a boat is something I've done so much.

Oh, my God. Okay, this is from my memory.

Yeah, these are all, by the way.

From my ironclaw.

Yeah, exactly. This is This is fact.

Let me give you some facts about your life.

So Dean's house, Dean Nichols, Dean and Michelle, their first house, which they were the first to get a house out of anybody. They're the first grown-ups. We were at Dean's. Now, Dax and I just talked about this.

Me bringing meth back to Detroit. Meth back to Detroit.

What a treat. So cheap.

It doesn't fill you up.

It eat low calories. A little bit will go a long way. Or you can just do all of it and deal with it for a few, three or four days. Yeah, so I remember my first time, I think it was four day. The fourth day was insane. Where you are actually maybeLosing your mind. You might be too far gone, that thing. And I think it was this time because a lot of days went after this. I remember days by myself and I was still rolling.

That was the worst experience in my life. Right.

So I think day one, though, we're all partaking and partying.

Was I partaking?

Yeah. If you recall, you have, I'm going to guess five times you did it.

Yeah, I was going to say because I was not because I don't need it.

Listen, my memory, ironclad. I remember the girls like you doing a little, but then we were hoarding. Yeah. You and I, especially. You were probably hoarding even more than for me.

Sure.

And then we hoarded from Dean and everyone else.

The layers of loyalty. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I remember you guys did a little, but a little was enough. And was it math?

Yeah, it was fucking math. Listen, you'll remember because you were working, we won't say your name, but you were working at Fred Siegel, and the girls at Fred Siegel did math. Oh, yeah. For the most part, the very first time we ever met, Nate and I were doing math for the first Oh, my gosh.

That's what we just- In Franklin Hills, actually.

Yeah. At like, Brooklyn's house. Brooklyn's house. Yeah. So we had gotten it from one of your coworkers.

Okay. Got it.

Around Michael Turina area. I had brought it home on the plane so that they could try this great drug. I had this covered. Amazing.

Which ended up being hell. I asked for more, and I remember you sent me some further down the line.

That was terrible. Can you get more of that?

I mean, the first couple of days were great.

Yeah, sure. When you're just horny and not crazy yet?

Yeah, those are fun. And you can just drink an excessive amount. So the next morning, this is what you have to remember, Butch, Dean's dad, comes over because he always does this shit. He comes over and It's like 10, 11 in the morning, and we're all up as if we all try to pretend we're just getting up, and we're having a good weekend, and the fucking yard is fucked. We're still drinking. It gets a little uncomfortable, too much, maybe for some to handle. You, and I think, Michelle, the boat was in the driveway, and you were cleaning that fucking boat for what seemed like the entire morning, after the sun came. I think it was before. Yeah, when Butt showed up, you were already cleaning the boat.

Oh, I'm sure.

So you were cleaning the boat. Dex was overly trying to compensate that, to prove to him we are sober. So sober. So he is just talking to him so much and chewing his lips off.

To make it seem like it's normal.

Sure. Yeah. So you know that fucking... Of course, we all know that horrifying feeling, later knowing what we did.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, my God. Yeah. We won't even let him go until we...

Until we've proven it.

On account of just getting up in the morning. Right.

Yeah. Breakfast. We already had it.

Yeah, we had it. After we woke up. We were starving. We have our full appetite.

Going to get that boat clean. That's what the girls are doing.

We got the women out working on the boat.

We're going to work on the engine when they're done. Stay tuned for more Mom's Car. We are supported by Allstate.

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At least the kids thought it was hilarious.

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I guarantee, though, if you ask Dina Michelle, because I remember the boat being cleaned was my favorite part because I think it went on most of the day. Oh, I'm sure. Once you got started, you wouldn't stop.

I actually realized when I look back at... I never was this crazy drunk fall down. No. Ever. No. But I will look back and be like, Oh, I was trying to be so on top of everything in my life in order for nobody to question having a little extra or whatever, which is this weird thing, and it probably just started even back then.

Well, I always think, too, you were in a tricky position to ever evaluate your drinking drinking because you lived with someone who is going very hard all the time and doing drugs. And so relative to me, you had your shit fully together. You could have had a roommate that you might have been like, I drink a lot. I mean, I drink much more than she does. Or like, Scottie. Scottie was a heavy drinker, but he had to say to me, You can't drink at my house anymore. So relative to me.

Yes. I also stopped drinking as much. I wasn't binge drinking when I was a working person and So I feel like, Oh, well, that was then. That's when I was partying in my 20s, and that was an era. And now I'm a responsible drinker.

Yes. I weirdly have become grateful that I didn't have a drinking habit that was in the gray zone. Mine was just so obviously untenable that I had to stop. And I just have a lot of friends who it's like, they're not sure if it takes more than it gives. It's hard to figure that out.

I feel like I felt like that for a long time.

Yeah. And I've always just been more I almost would rather just be a drunk and then you got to quit, and then you don't even have to even ever evaluate it anymore.

Yeah, it's just over.

How did your parents take it? Because now, obviously, that you have kids, I just can't imagine that call.

They went into go mode. My mom, she came down. You're your mother's daughter. Yeah, exactly. She came down for the surgery. She had all my meds ready to go and just was really taking care of the household, taking care of the kids, doing all of that. One of my favorite things is there was a journal, My Meds After the Surgery. And then it was all, Bri thinks Bri is... I wish I'd remember what it said. Bri thinks Bri is okay. Brad thinks Bri is not okay. I thought I was totally fine, but I was on Oxy and stuff. She He's like, breathe things, breathe's okay.

But Brad's not so sure.

Brad's not so sure.

That's so funny.

My dad was good, too. They were perfect. Not alarm us. And then Joya, of course, went into full doctor mode.

This is a good time to have a best friend that's an ER doctor.

Every really walked me through the emotional parts that were really the hardest part of all of it was the fear.

She deserves a shout out, too. When my dad was diagnosed, I called her. I was like, Here's what the diagnosis is. And she goes, Yeah, there's nothing that can be done. He's going to die in a few months. And so proceed accordingly. And I was like, Oh, my God. I'm so glad someone just told me, We have no magic silver bullet for small cell carcinoma. Don't waste your time trying to fly to some other state.

No, just get in there and spend as much time as you can. Go hang out. I Actually, one of my biggest regrets was not reaching out to your dad before. It was hard, but I felt like it wasn't my place, so I just didn't. I did reach out to Buttons. You did? Yeah. I remember talking to your mom and Buttons before.

Buttons.

Dave Buttons.

Oh, sweet Dave Buttons. Were you on the trip where he got named Dave Buttons?

I may be.

Oh, yeah. You told me, but I feel like- I don't know.

We went twice to an all-inclusive place. I went once with you and I went once with Carrie, and I can't remember what trip was on. But basically, we were checking in.

Was your mom wasn't with Buttons when you were with Carrie?

Yeah, she was.

Buttons was around when I got there or soon after.

I think 10th grade, they started dating. Oh, okay. Never mind. Okay. Yeah. 10th grade for me and Carly. I was in fourth grade or something because he was very much her dad. But yes, we're checking. His name was Dave Barton, and we're checking into this all-inclusive hotel, and we've all just gotten off a plane. So there's a line of 15 people that are checking in. And Barton and his soft voice, their reservation name. And he goes, Dave Barton. And then a guy four behind us goes, Excuse me. No, excuse me. I'm Dave Buttons. Oh, that's right. I'm Dave Buttons. I'm Dave Buttons. And Barton goes, No, I'm Dave Barton. And for some reason, neither of them can hear that it's two different names. The guy keeps going, This man's trying to check in in my name. I'm the real Dave Buttons.

I think it was Terry because I remember hearing the story.

And Barton was like, I'm the real Dave Barton. It was insane. But the best part was we get into our room, and of course, all of our luggage is there. His is not there, and there's an air-in suitcase in our room. And Barton's like, he just can't figure out where his bag is. It's so weird. And I go, Barton, clearly, Really, Dave Buttons has your bag, and this is Dave. Maybe it was.

It's so hard sometimes, whether you know if you were there or you just heard the story so many times.

We don't know either. We've been wrestling with that a lot. But anyways, I pick up the phone, the room is registered to Dave, and I said, I swear to God. I call up and I go, Hi, can I be connected to Dave Buttons' room? And they go, Sir, you're in Dave Button's room? And I go, No, I'm in Dave Barton's room. And they go, Oh, yes, sorry. You are in Dave Barton's. So then they patch me through to Dave Button's room and he picks up. He's like, Hello. And I go, Buttons, it's Barton. I go, Do you have a bag in your room? Because we have a next one. He's like, Yes, I do. Okay, what's the room? I'm like, I'm kidding. You are in Dave Button's room.

You're calling from Dave Button.

You are Dave Buttons. Now, I'm really feeling like I was definitely there. I feel like that's basically the only thing we talked about for the rest of the trip.

Yeah, Dave Buttons. Okay, good. So you called him.

No, I went up to Oregon and saw them. Great. Just on a random trip that I went up, but I went up there to see him. To see him. Was it 2016, maybe?

I'm so fucking bad with dates, but what I remember is that I had taken Lincoln at three years old to North Carolina, just her and I. And then when Delta to turn three, I was like, I'm going to take you to Michigan. It was spring-ish summer. That trip was planned. And then I ended up last minute going to see my mom and Barton. And when I was there, things were quite untenable and bad. I had to talk to the hospice woman and find out. I don't know what you want me to say or not want me to say. It's legal here.

You're in Oregon, right? Is it legal there?

It's legal, but he would have had to... You can go get it, but you got to go in person and prove your mentally sound. And he was intending to do that, and he missed his window. All of a sudden, he was just stuck in bed and he couldn't go. So I said to the woman, I don't know what you want me to say or not say. And she said, Don't worry. I've been in this situation lots. What I'm going to say, I heard you ask is, how can we keep him very comfortable? So let me show you the schedule of drugs that is you have to do it this way. And these are the ones that are at your discretion as he needs it. And she walked me through what's going to get measured at the end, what's not, what's loosey-goosy, and said, I'll be back. And then at one point, he was unconscious, but he was foaming, and my mom was freaking out, and she came back and I was like, What? He's foaming. He's like, Don't worry, I have drops for that. Let me go get drops. So it was interesting. It was all unspoken.

I then left there, and immediately I just flew to LA, went home, grabbed Delta, brought her back, got on a plane, and went to Detroit. And on that flight to Detroit with her, I was like, Holy cow, that was a crazy three days because it took a couple of days, two and a half days. It was gnarly. Why did I even bring that up?

I know because I saw him because anyway, regrets.

Do you think you would have been nervous to call my dad because it would have felt disrespectful to call Kristen?

Yes, that was 100% the case. Actually, it was so sweet. It must have been on social media at some point where you guys were all in the hospital. And that's the only way I even knew it was close to the end was because of this. I had a really strong desire to reach out at that time because Kristen was pregnant. Because Kristenristen was pregnant, and we'd just been able to tell him. I was like, this just isn't- Let me ask you this.

Is Brad friendly with his exes? No. Right. And either is Kristen. I I think initially when Chris and I started dating, you were still coming over a lot because my mom was living at my house. You were around even in the first month or two we were dating. And she initially was like, This is really wild. I'm not friends with any of my exes. I don't hang out with any of my exes. And I'm like, I'm friends with all mine, pretty much. Over time, she got super comfortable with it and absolutely at ease with it. But it is interesting. There's been a couple of moments where I was like, Oh, is that potentially hurtful? I did a live show in Seattle, and I, of course, invited your parents.

Yes, they were very excited.

I had the sweetest time with your dad imaginable, and I just love them so much. I would say, I'm inviting Bre's parents to show him. I'm like, Is that one going to be a thing? It's interesting when you extend it out, maybe it's a little trickier, the parents thing.

Definitely. I've talked to your mom over the years here and there, or she's been in town. Losing the relationship with your mom was one of the hardest parts. Because I remember when we went to therapy, initially, He was officially like, let's work this out. And immediately he was like, I know my job is to keep people together, but I very clearly see this as me helping you guys break up. A healthy disillusion. Exactly. But I feel like we worked that out with help and all that, and it felt very natural.

I think we should even back up. My best friend when I was in Washington was your ex-boyfriend, Aaron. And when you were in Michigan, your best friend was my ex-girlfriend, Kari.

Oh, yeah. Love Kari. Well, I'm going to show all that whole crew, but also with your mom.

Oh, I'm only pointing out, you and I were already always very comfortable with that, and you and I were both the people that stay friends with our ex.

Yeah, it just doesn't matter. But yes, I definitely felt that Chris and I didn't want to step on Chris's chose.

Yeah, Well, I think that's very sweet that you felt like missing my mom would be a big one.

Yeah, that was a big deal. Because she loves you so much. I was so young, and for so long, she was very much a mom figure to me. I still love Laura Buss.

Who doesn't?

Do you know that Bre's husband, Brad and Kristen, went on a date in college?

Did they not go on? No, she was dating one of his friends.

She thinks they went on a date.

He'll like that.

She tells people. You should tell him. I like that.

I mean, maybe he's cute But she was dating someone that he was good friends with. That he was friends with.

Maybe they came after. It could have. She thinks they went on a date. I like it. She doesn't think anything really happened, but she thinks she went on a date.

How could that possibly happen in this universe?

No, isn't that-with that many people? No, isn't that-with that many people? In New York. There's so many random weird... I mean, super fan, Kristenristen. But I see similarities between us.

You and Kristenristen? Yeah. Which ones?

Just kindness, and beauty, and intelligence. No, but you know what quality you both have, which is super- Hard working.

Super hard working, hot, great moms. No, something that you guys have that I value so much is I think you two above of any other people I've ever met. You have your opinions and your position, but you're really able to listen to another point of view and consider it and integrate it. Neither of you guys are stuck.

You're very fluid. I would agree with that about myself. I don't know Kristen well enough to know.

For me, it's an imperative quality because I'm most interested in going like, oh, I feel this way. Okay, now I'm going to really make myself try to believe I'm a Republican, and I think that's killing a baby. Okay, yeah, I If you think that's killing a baby, that's got to be your number one issue. You got to stop killing babies. That's got to be above tariffs and everything else. I get it. They'll go like, Well, he's racist. But if you're evaluating racism against killing a baby, that's a very simple decision. So I love spending time thinking that way. And I think if I was just with someone who's like, No, it's got to be this way.

But I do think it is a funny small world, even that they went to college and ran in the same circle.

It's impossible. But I also I don't think it was helpful in Kristen opening up to the notion that you could be trusted and be friends. I think the fact that your partner was a guy she liked was interesting. I felt like that was a good thing.

I think it was really that she wanted to get her hands on Mac. She was really willing to really put anything aside in order to get a piece of that.

That's true. That was also a big building moment. Is that...

I mean, you guys had him for six months.

Did we? Yes. The long as we had him.

You had him a The whole time we were in Australia.

God, I love Mac so much. She's the first animal I love.

I remember being she used him for larky things on the Internet. He was always doing dumb shit.

Yeah, he was an influencer when he was with her. Exactly. Because he was always meant to be. Talk about the craziest, like the world's too small. I was in New York with Kristen. We're walking on the street and there's a guy on a bicycle and in a basket, he has a little Brussels I stop, as I always stop and look at Brussels griffon because of Mac. I'm looking at this dog and I'm like, It's Mac. What? I go, Man, this dog looks so much like this little Brussels I watch sometimes named Mac. He immediately goes, Wait, Mac, who was the girl who originally-Margaretta L'Aviva, who's doing a show with Bob right now.

No. We got to sit down and talk about Mac for an hour a few weeks ago. She's on down level. She remembers the moment. It's funny because I felt like I had him from her?

Yes, because she was away on a movie.

I knew he was supposed to be with you.

Yeah, Bill B. Was the LV number one doctor of all time.

So this was Mac?

It was Mac's brother. I go, he goes, Wait, Mac, who Marguerite adopted? And I'm like, Yes. And lo and behold, Mac used to be a New Yorker. And then, Bre took him to New York, which is one of your funniest stories. You say you took him outside of the hotel and set him down on the ground. You know he was this big. And he just immediately was like, That's right. And he was strutting around New York because it was his city.

I mean, he strutted around everywhere. He walked across the stage at UCLA. Oh, he did? Yeah, he walked across. I had him tucked away in my... He's been to Disney World. I took him on the Gravitron.

You can't bring a dog to Disney World, can you?

Yes. No, I snuck him in.

But you're not informally allowed to... No. Okay, great.

That's great. He went everywhere. The Gravitron was really when Brad was like, Okay, I don't think he wants to be on the Gravitron. He's not going to enjoy the Gravitron.

Was Brad instantly at ease with us being friends?

Yeah, I feel like because he came in, we were already friends. So it didn't really... I don't remember it ever bothering him.

He's so radical.

Oh, my God. He's the best.

Now, do we have any overlap? With what? You and Kristin share that thing. Do Brad and I share anything? He's very ambitious.

He is very ambitious. Very smart.

I always I said you should have started a tailing agency because you found me and I was a directionless drunk.

No, same. And Brad's like, I picked you up in a Honda Civic. I literally did not have a job. He just uncovered a picture because we were looking for pictures of Macy her, bought Mitzvah and stuff. And he uncovered a picture of me installing a toilet paper roll holder at his apartment because he didn't even have a toilet paper roll holder. So I went to Home Depot, bought him a screwdriver and put it in.

You know her husband, who she met who was penniless, He was doing EPK, maybe, running a video camera on Iron Man?

He was the producer's assistant, like getting coffee and. But he also, by the way, had an Emmy at that time. He had a webby and an Emmy for web content.

But now it's Kevin Feigee and him at Marvel. He's the baddest motherfucker at Marvel. So when we broke up, I think certainly in retrospect, it was time for that. Yeah. Amicable as it could be when you're with someone that long. Absolutely. So the breakup was manageable. But I will say for a For a while, I did think, well, I'll never be in love with someone again in that way. I had a deep fear. I'm like, Oh, I don't think I'll ever really feel the way I felt about Brie with anybody. I was quite scared of that.

Yeah. I think it's so funny Because for me, it basically was that I fell in love with someone while we were dating and was like, Oh, shit. I can't do both things. But I actually very quickly did not like that guy after that. So sometimes I wonder, did I just let myself get tangled up in those feelings in order to do what I knew was going to serve me ultimately, which was that we needed to not be together? And I don't know what, too, if you have an open relationship with someone for so long, can you go back and then not? Can you go back and then not have an open relationship?

Oh, right. Well, I will say, so ours was, I would say, by all accounts, quite successful to go nine years open.

Absolutely. Four years for me.

This is terrible move. We're in four years. I'm going to have a whole round of guilt tonight.

No, because I did actually... What's so funny is, again, I think that it's like, I don't really get mad.

No, I know.

Or I just don't really... I just think that the whole...

Great quality isn't a a sad point.

Yeah, but the whole human experience is so complicated. Why would you waste any time, like, begrudging someone?

When I look back, there's really nothing I regret. But I will say I can see the things that also fueled you and I, which is like, I think for myself, I was inclined to be smarter and transcendent of this thing that lesser smart people were trapped in, if that makes any sense. I like the idea when I'm crafting my story of who I am, that other people succumb to this, and I don't. I'm above this. Yes, my girlfriend may like other boys at times, but I can handle that, and I'm above that.

I think I felt the same way about that.

I don't remember any being mad at you ever, really. I mean, we had some fights when we were drunk. Oh, God. Us drunk was a bad come. No, no, no.

Which was hard because we were drunk a lot.

Yes, yes. We were drunk a lot. But I think in general, we did almost never, ever, ever fought. Yeah, our relationship is like Aaron and I's friendship. We just never fought.

Yeah. I don't really get incensed. I just don't really get mad.

When I think back of that period, My whole 20s, where it was like, I had moved to this state to do this thing, and I was failing at it. I was pretty certain I was going to continue to fail at it. I wasn't optimistic about it. The burden of my... Ambition is not good enough word for it, but just I have to do something special. I have to be special. Everyone has thought I was special growing up, and I have to deliver. And the weight of that was quite intense. Did you have that? No. Okay, because when you're saying that cancer was pleasurable, but I relate in the way that I would have an excuse to take my foot off the gas and not have to evaluate how much I'm doing and am I achieving my potential and all that. But that's not what was comforting to you about it. Yeah, no. It didn't make any sense?

It does make sense because I know a lot of it's- Because you have the drive to go get all A's, but you didn't feel this enormous. Sure, but that's, I think, also because I think truly, truly, truly, I wish I had just stayed in school and have been an English professor because I really just like working in the world of ideas, talking, Thinking about the way people think. That's why I love reading so much because it's really just looking inside people's brains and just listening to all their deepest inner thoughts. That's my favorite thing to do. Or I wish I would have become a therapist or something. But I remember when I was working for Gavin and Greg. I was really like, Okay, I'm supposed to have ambition now. I'm supposed to do something in this industry. I'm smart. I owe it to the world to make it. But I never knew what making it looked like for me. You knew you wanted to be a comedian. You to get the most laughs. You wanted to have the biggest audience. I never really knew what making it looked like because I didn't have a goal.

My goal was always just like, I want to be wherever I am and talking to the people that I'm talking to and getting into it. Which is also, I think, one of the things I really liked about drinking is because it's so funny how many people are so sad that I don't drink.

So sad. Sure. You're a good time.

They're just like, oh. It's almost as if my drinking gave them permission to have a good time. And it's so hilarious to me. So on the one hand, I'm like, well, thank God they're not like, oh, God, she really needed to quit.

People aren't going few when you tell them.

No, no, no, great idea. But it is funny to me because I'm like, no, one of My gifts is really just being in the moment with the people that I'm with. And alcohol, especially, can loosen people up to go deeper with themselves and with the people around them.

You're almost committing to the hang because you're like, we're going to be drunk in a little bit, and then we can't go to work or go exercise. No.

I just keep shooting the shit.

Yes, we have no choice.

I'll stay up all night and shoot the shit. Yes. And that's what's so great now is when I'm around the bonfire with my family and things, I'm still the last one up. I'm still talking to everybody. And what I've also realized, so my daughter's bat mitzvah was just this Saturday. And my Gigi, my grandma Winkle, she was famously sober for many years, but she's always like, Great, it's fine. As long as you start out sober with everybody, you'll just feel as drunk as everybody else by the end of the night. She's like, You just can't go into it.

You can't show up where everyone's hammered. No.

That's right. Even by the end of the night, I'm now seeing that more and more. I'm getting more validation that that's the case. And it loosens my grip on feeling like I'm supposed to participate in that way because I feel like, Oh, I'm still bringing every bit as much as I was bringing to the table as I was before. More so. I get to wake up and remember it and have more fun and feel great the next day.

Yeah, feeling great in the morning was such a rare.

It doesn't annoy you at all.

When people get really super They're wasted? Yeah.

And staying up all night with them?

It just depends. Not with my family. I still like it because my brain is myelinated to know these people so well at this stage of drunkenness, too, that I just fall right into some of the same conversations that we still need to have many, many years later. It doesn't annoy me that much. It definitely annoys me sometimes when people are a little too drunk, but then they just go to bed, and that's why they're disappointed.

Let me ask you this. There's a cliché But I think there's some merit to it that girls fall harder, but guys fall longer. There's something about the pattern. We just had an expert on women end more relationships than guys end relationships. That was interesting to me. Girls tend to break up with boys more than boys break up with girls.

Is that because the girl has another option?

I don't know what the explanation is. Where I'm going with this is we broke up. Well, I was just very disoriented for a while. I remember an exact moment where I was just very disoriented for a while, and I was shooting a movie in New York City, staying at the Maritime Hotel. And there's this great Italian restaurant downstairs, and it's outside. And I was out there in New York City by myself, And I was single. And even though we were in an open relationship, I obviously never felt single. Sure. I wouldn't have taken anyone on a date. And I just had this moment, and we had been broken up for probably maybe a year at that point. And I remember going, oh, this This is fun. I'm single in New York City, and I work two days a week. And it lifted a bit. But the part that didn't lift for me, and I'm curious if you relate it all, is what was hugely important to me always for me, is from the moment we broke up is I pray she meets someone that she falls in love with. I just thought about it a lot, and I was just so hopeful that you would find someone that you loved a lot again.

And I just remember I'm being so happy about Brad.

No, Brad. Everyone's so happy about... I was so happy. So one of the hardest things about when we broke up was that I really had my had my had my had my had We had a house now. It was going to be this thing that I wanted. I was getting on in years. These were the things.

We had always said, Oh, when you turn 30, we'll have a kid. Yeah, we're going to go for it.

So it was around that time. I mean, I met Brad on my 30th birthday. But I think it was or 29 when we were bringing. Anyway, I was like, I'm going to find. And I kept dating people who- At Civics? No. I was trying to date people who had some scratch. Were established. And were already established. And it just wasn't working. And I was like, I need to be in love. I have to be in love. I'm a real romantic. So when I met Brad and was very much swept off my feet, never looked back, we went straight. We always just said, one, two, three, we're married and made it happen. I was I was like, no, so grateful. But I think it was so funny because I was really worried about losing the thing I wanted for my future was great family experience. And also, I think that went into losing your mom and feeling like, well, that's not...

Yeah. Well, I I did the same thing in that I was a bit panicked because I was 32 when I met Kristen. I was thinking like, I'm supposed to be getting you pregnant right now. My timeline was like, at 32, that was going to start. And I was like, well, I have to date someone for at least a couple of years before I have kids. I got to find out if they're really good. I got to live with them, all that. And I just remember feeling very pressured about that. One, I was dating before I met Kristen. I was like, if three weeks, I thought this isn't a huge... I'm like, out.

Oh, I was going through. Yes. And with the high bar.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. Word.

You guys were doing the same thing.

Were you ever worried like, Boy, I hope he falls in love again? I have a hunch not. Which I think is good.

I didn't think about it much, but because I guess from my perspective, because your career was really meteoric in that moment, and it also just felt like I couldn't keep up with that. I sometimes felt like, well, we didn't just break up because of X, Y, Z. I didn't know how to keep up with this new, really big thing that was happening in your life, and I didn't really know where I fit.

I was so bad at that. I was very bad at letting you feel like it was our money.

No, definitely was not ours. I don't think it was.

It was definitely not.

I remember buying a dress for a premiere to go to one of your premieres and going to a thrift store and not feeling like I could really afford the dress that I wanted. No. I could be like, Oh, man. Which is fine because I think that's the- It's not fine.

It's regrettable. Is your girlfriend homeless? You should really get your assistant a nice address. My assistant, that's my wife. Why are you in a tuxedo?

No, but to me, the joke was always, I'm in really good company because you were dating all these hot celebrity gals. Oh, sure. Once we broke up. I was never thinking you were going to fall in love. You were freaking hanging out with these big time.

I was like, okay, what's that? If you have anything, you might have thought like, this guy might end up with Natalie Foreman. No, I'm fine.

I know. You're a real true dream.

What do we got here? What number? I do.

Oh, 45.

So how many episodes are you guys doing of this? Twelve. Twelve? . Is it all old blast from the past?

This is the last one.

Last but not the least. Yeah, girl. Do you have Tim?

We did have Tim Lufsted. We had Nate, Kristen, and Monica, Jackie Tone, Kristen's friends, from their new show to Tim Simons.

You know him? Oh, no, you don't watch TV. I was going to say Veeet, really tall guy.

Oh, yeah. Oh, I do know. I actually did watch Kristen's show.

Did you like it?

I did.

Nobody wants it. Aaron and I watched in Texas. We were down in the bus going from grocery store to grocery store to meet people for Ted Sears. Oh, yeah. And we put it on in that first kiss right down there on the sidewalk.

We both got heated up.

It happened, and I paused it, and I go, What do you think of that kiss? And Aaron's like, That was incredible.

No, that kiss was famous.

It's like maybe the best kiss I've ever seen in a movie. No, I know.

They did a really great acting. They did. Yeah, excellent acting.

Yeah, acting.

Really good acting.

Aaron goes, Has she ever kissed you like that? I go, No. And he goes, I don't know who I want to kiss me more, her or him.

Yeah, I just want to be involved in that. Yeah, exactly.

That's what everyone's. Get me in. You will watch the ones where everyone's talking about it. You have to watch it.

I mean, Aaron and Sara Foster, I had followed them loosely on social media because a really good friend of mine worked for a company that did the whole favorite daughter thing and really still like free stuff. It was like free koozies. Sure. It was a free tour. It was I'm on a key chain.

What do you got? You got to watch them. I don't know if you remember this, but Josh and I wrote a sketch about that.

Yes. We were on a frisbee.

All the things the guys wanted. It was like, You got to maintain a washing machine back there.

But I got a bunch of free T-shirts from that company for part of their campaign, and I'd followed them. So because I just followed them, and I'd never knew she was a writer or producer, Erin Foster. So when she did it, and then I thought Kristen was in it, I was like, Oh, I got to watch that. Yeah, I'll give this a shot. Yeah, I'll give this a shot.

And thank God because every single human being was talking about it.

I actually watch everything Kristen's in. And not in a weird, but I really love The Good Place. She just has good taste.

And she's insanely talented. Yes.

No, I know. So I only watch the best things, and she's in all of the best things.

What can I tell you the thing that I think that you guys have the most? It's just how I feel, which is I admire both of you so much. And I realize that's a rare thing to get in a partner is that I just admire you so much. I like who you are so much. That's so nice. You're just one of the greats of all time. I'm glad our lives worked out so well. Me too. We did a good job. Yeah, it all worked out. Well, I love you. I'm so happy you did this. Thank you. This was so fun. It was fun. I think your short curly hair is very cute. I know.

It's so funny.

It's so fun.

It's so funny. I like this in my David Hasselhoff era, but I also look like... Well, I look like a Blanche and Dorothy. Blanche and Dorothy. Dorothy.