Transcript of Big Jay Oakerson Joins The Show! | Whiskey Ginger

What up, Whisky Ginger fans. Welcome back to the show. It's your first time joining the show. Welcome to the show. I shot my special. It's over. I feel a little sad and melancholy about it, but I'm doing a couple of dates. I'm going to be jumping around. I'm doing Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, May 22nd. May 23rd, I'm doing two shows in Winnipeg, Manitoba. Is that Manitoba? I have no idea what the MB stands for. I think it does. Isn't that what it means? Who knows? I'm an idiot. It doesn't really matter. May 22nd in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. May 23rd, two shows in Winnipeg. Go to AndrewSantino. Com for those tickets. Andrewsantino. Com.

In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.

You were that creature in the ginger field. Sturdy? And ginger. Like that, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful.

You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse.

Ginger's a hell no. This whiskey is excellent.

Ginger. I like ginger.

Are we going all around? We're good. Hey, Joe. That's my editor, Joe. Say hi to Joe in that camera right there. Hey, Joe. Joe is no longer... I used to say he's Fall River trash. He's no longer in Fall River, Massachusetts. He moved to Providence, Rhode Island. You like Providence?

What a step. I do like Providence.

Yeah, it's nice, huh? Yeah. It's sneaky. I think people that don't go up there don't know anything about it.

Food's great.

Yeah.

Comedy audience is great there, and it's It's just not quite Boston.

It's definitely not quite Boston. I love Boston. I've always had a crush on Boston for some reason. Then I always go there in the winter. It's like I'm fucking never there in good weather. You know what I mean? It's always bad weather, and I still like it, which makes me think I shouldn't visit in the summer because then I might actually want to try to move there.

I love it. If your agents catch you on a cycle in clubs that you catch, it's the work. I got very young income. Not or young comedy, but in headlining regularly, where they were like, hey, can I in the winter get gigs? Because when we do Tampa and California and whatever, and they're like, you want to go in the cold place is when it's cold because the people show up. People come in the thing. So I think it just ended up in a cycle where I'm always in. I've never enjoyed the nice weather of Cleveland or Boston or Minneapolis. I've always been in those where it hurt your bones cold.

Yeah, where you just don't leave the hotel. You're like, I guess I'll just sit inside all day. It's tough because I do know touring in the Midwest, where I'm from, is only beneficial if it's the winter. Because in the summer, they will fuck off to a lake. These people live and die by lakes. And the way that East Coast kids go down to the shore or whatever, you didn't grow up doing that, did you?

No, not really much. We were in Philly, so Jersey Shore was the thing. Oh, yeah, that's pretty bad. So I mean, people would go, but we didn't go very much.

You didn't go to that shit.

Wasn't a big beach person. No, well, bro.

I was more of a city kid. Look at me. I mean, we did. But for us, You always knew someone in the Midwest growing up. He's a Midwest kid. He knows. You always knew someone that had a Lakehouse.

Where were you in the Midwest? Chicago. Chicago, okay.

You knew someone that had a Lakehouse. We never had a secondary home, but you knew someone that did. It didn't mean that they were rich, by the way, because a lot of people got shanties on the lake, like shitholes, shanties. The assumption is when you move to a place like New York or LA, if somebody said, I have a Lakehouse or a Beach house, you're like, Oh, this guy's got fucking paper. But back in the Midwest, if someone's I have a Lakehouse. You're like, it could be a one bed, one bath, dude. We could all be sleeping. And that's what my grandmother's sister rented one time, and it was a two bed, one bath. And there was 26, 24 to 26 of us in there?

I know it's different from... There are different kinds of lakes. There's lakes that are... When we were on Fully Loaded, we did the Lake of the Ozarks. Oh, yeah. And those were multimillion dollar homes in the Lake.

Oh, dude, that's big money.

They were beautiful. But most lake stuff I've ever been to is... The lakes I've been to, there's never been an attractive titty flashed, but there's been a lot of titties flashed.

Yeah, that's what I did. The number of titties is high. The good-looking titties is very low.

Where all the rules on the lake are like, it's better to ask for forgiveness than permission. That's exactly right. You see people say things like, I don't think you can put a waverunner in a lake. We'll find out. Yeah. He goes, they'll say something if we can't.

That's pontoon life. We talked about that before. Pontoon life. Pontoon life, dude. These are for people, you really don't give a shit about the lake. You just want to be able to drink on something that's mobile. You know what I mean? Because you can't drink and drive anymore. After the '80s, I think my dad said that to me. He was like, in the late '80s, drinking and driving became a thing you couldn't do anymore, like the end of the '90s. But before that, it was a fucking legit... My dad grew up in the South. He was like, You could legitimately ask for a beer to go. It was just like one for the ditch, the term one for the ditch. He's like, That was a very literal, Could I have a beer to go? Everyone Yes. In the '70s, no one even questioned, Oh, man, you shouldn't be driving. It was just like, You're staggering.

You'll figure it out. You'll figure it out, dude.

Yeah.

You'll hit some stuff. I like finding out those things, where those rules are not as new as you think. Remember those facts, though? It'd be like, What was that on? But they would always give you like it. It's only been... It was illegal to own two umbrella in Des Moines, Iowa until 1985. Right.

Gay men were not allowed to show their teeth until a I'm fucking '86 when Harvey Milk flipped the law.

I think this just standard meat and potatoes butt fucking is illegal still in many places.

Thank God, and God bless, and it's going to stay that way. You understand us? Sodomites? No, dude, I think I do think actually, what are these weird laws by state. I know what you're saying. There is a couple of wonky ones that are still around. In New Hampshire, it's illegal to collect seaweed from public beaches at night. Yeah, it can't be doing that shit, dude. No, for real, though, is gay sex is still illegal in some states. It's got to be. Texas, it's got to be. That's where they do it the most. You ever been to the mothership?

Steers and queers, man. That's what- Texas, dude. Steers and queers.

That's what really happens at the little boy in the mothership. I think sodomy is completely legal now. God bless, dude. Thanks God, dude. We're back. 2003. 2003, sodomy. That's like that, though. You're like, that's not that logo. It became fully legal in '03. And it's a lot of states because it was state by state, and there's a map, but Most-Who is the last state to approve butt sex? I mean, it's a lot of them in the south. It's Idaho, Utah, Texas, Oklahoma, Kansas, Missouri, Alabama, Louisiana, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia, Michigan. Wow.

That was one big sweep. I love they had to have the conversation in 2003. It was, Guys, got a bit of a cold case here. Let's just knock this one-off the docket. What do you say? Just let people butt fuck if they want to.

There was one guy in there being like, Look, I don't care what they do in the privacy of their own homes, but just Post-911, I just think we should really...

You know what I mean? My grandfather asked me one thing on his deathbed, not to push this through. And God damn it, I'm going to honor his memory.

He fought in the war.

God damn it.

I think I would have let my pops down?

Got to come home to a bunch of ninis over here, kissing each other on the peccers in the fucking churches.

In Vermont, women need permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.

I love it.

You can't wear fake teeth in Vermont unless you ask your husband? You need permission. That's genius. Like veneers?

What's that built He gets off of a dick being bit off, probably.

A hundred %.

Definitely, he goes, Guys, new rule.

The boys gather around. Can I show you something real fast?

Guys, team meeting.

Alaska is illegal to whisper in someone's ear when they're moose hunting. I agree with that. You got to leave people alone when they're hunting moose, dude. We talked about that the other night. Have you ever seen a moose in real life? Once. My cousin goes, I've never seen one I want to. And he couldn't believe the sheer scale of these things. I was showing him and talking to him about it. He's like, that's bullshit. I was like, dude, I'm telling you.

Pre Dinosauric, almost.

Yeah. You see a dinosaur in real life. It's shocking how big it is.

Yeah. I did Chilkoot Charlie's in Alaska. Did you ever do that gig?

No, I never did it. Is it Anchorage? Yeah.

Wild place. Fantastic. I mean, okay, comedy shows. They got the crowds ready for comedy there after a while, but like, wacky place, Alaska. They took us to a nature preserve out there, but it was all damaged animals. So it was like a mangie moose. It was like a moose with patches of hair missing and stuff, and a one winged eagle. It was all these things like...

I like that you get the T-Mu, the second rate.

It really was. Everything in Alaska, it was just a fucked up version of an animal you've never seen before. Discount version? Yeah.

I got the real deal in Alberta, Canada, and it was up in Banff, and it was like... We pulled over and we started laughing. I remember laughing. I couldn't believe it. I was cracking the fuck up because I was like, it looks fake, dude. It looks like some shit you'd see. You know when When they walk around characters at theme parks, and you're like, you know what I feel? I feel like someone's walking that thing around. That's not real. There's a dude in there operating it. And my buddy ERP was like, how close should we get? I was like, bro, you can get close. I'm staying right the fuck here. He's like, Who cares? Who cares? I'm like, Go be the guy that dies by moose. You know what I mean? Yeah. Go be that guy.

No, they're probably friendly. I like that when anyone tries to... There's a lot of videos of that in the city. It's people trying to feed Fucking raccoons.

Oh, bro. Yeah, that's insane.

We're trying to touch a possum. I'm like, For the possums are sent from hell. That face, there's nothing lovable about it.

The raccoons, I will be straight up. I do see some videos of raccoons. I'm like, That is a cute-looking motherfucker. There was one, it had a thing of grapes. It was just eating it, staring at the guy. And I was like, it is cute until it claws you.

Until it latches onto your face.

Then it's over. But the weird law thing, by the way, I remember seeing there was one in New York. Look at weird laws in New York. There was one when I was in New York, and I thought, why New York? New York feels like it's- Carrying an ice cream in your pocket on Sundays? No, that's not it. It was with something about a gun.

Now that one checks. Yeah. He goes, Sunday is just Sunday.

That actually makes perfect sense. Something about weird laws with guns in New York. Because I got in this discussion with a buddy, because in Chicago, you can I have, or Illinois, or maybe it's just a city, you can have a concealed weapons license, which is insane to me because it's like their bit was, if you can't see it, you don't know who has it. Meaning, if the bad guy has it, well, then so can I. Which is like, yeah, sure, I guess, whatever. But also I'd rather it be unconcealed. When I go down to Texas and I see it, it make me more comfortable than not... You know what I mean? Sure. Knowing is way better than not knowing. Because whenever I see someone who has a gun on their hip, I'm always like, well, at least I know. Yeah.

Instead of him reaching inside of a trench coat. You got to stare at him in a restaurant the whole time. Just like, I'm not going to finish this, Ruben.

I got to watch this kid in a trench coat.

I know Dave Smith from Legion of Skanks got held up when we were younger. I remember when he called me and just like, I don't know if that changed his politics on that at all, but it definitely... He had a big... Was this in Philly? No, he was in New York. He was already doing comedy and everything. He was in this comedy career, which was just like, 15 years ago, maybe more. But when he came home with that vibe of like, he was like, Man, it goes, if everyone was able to have a gun, that wouldn't happen to me. They would think I have a gun. I'm like, I don't know.

I don't know about that, dude.

Yeah. They were still a bunch of black kids from Brooklyn.

And you were still white Dave Smith.

Yeah. You were still white Dave Smith, walking with bags, looking like you probably I don't have a gun.

They can ask me, Excuse me, do you have a gun? He's like, Absolutely not. It's like, Fantastic. We're about to rob you.

You think that Jewish kid with a bag of 2% milk? You think he's holding?

He looks strapped, right? No? No, I don't think so, man. I think we're good.

Are you good with guns?

Yeah. Well, I grew up with them. My dad taught me how to shoot them. I'm terrified of them. See, I get it. Bobby's the same way. I tell a joke about a promoter asking us to go shoot after a show in Texas. Bobby is very, very scared of guns, like adamantly against them. I grew up with them because my dad's from the south. For me, it was not a big deal. My dad's safety level was through the fucking roof.

We couldn't-A lot of yellow glasses.

Yeah. We always had to wear those vests around the house. He kept them locked up always. He never gave me the codes. I never was allowed to even touch them without him. He locked up bullets separately of locking up a gun. He was wild about it because he- Or he really thought you or if you have siblings, we're going to be school shooters. My little sister. Yeah. Her and I bonded over that. Yeah. Wanting to kill everybody in the neighborhood. Actually, dude, I got in trouble when I was in- Every time he goes to work, you guys are going like, Let's try dad's birthday.

All the codes. Try my birthday.

It's the garage code. What's the code for the garage? I got in deep shit because my dad bought me an airsoft for just practicing, and I had an airsoft handgun, and I brought it to school just to show my buddy Matt, and I had it at the bus stop.

To show him what was what. That's right.

Show him who the boss is. And then I showed it to him at the bus stop, and someone at the bus stop ratted, called their mom, said I had a gun. They called to school. I got to school. They had a cop there waiting for us to get off the bus, and I got suspended for a fucking airsoft, a Bibi gun. But But it shot the metal pellets, not the little yellow ones. Oh, yeah. So I guess, whatever. I didn't fucking point at anybody. I didn't do anything. But I got suspended. My dad was like, What are you doing bringing a fucking gun to school? And I was like, It was a Bibi gun. He's like, What?

The Midwest is wild. I just remember, as you said that, when I was 12, my dad lives in Ohio, in Kent, Ohio. So I was walking around there, and I went to a pawn shop and was able to buy a Bibi gun, a pellet gun. Yeah. And he goes, he sold me the pellets, but like, sharp point. Oh, yeah. He didn't kill somebody.

It'll pierce skin for sure.

A hundred % could do some real major damage. And he's like, have fun, kiddo. Yeah, dude. Come back if you want to steal your father's watch or something.

I think it was a normal thing in the Midwest. You knew people that hunted. You knew people with guns. It wasn't like, I don't know, it wasn't out of the ordinary.

It makes me nervous. Me and Louis J. Gomez, we did a gig in Dallas once. He was like, let's go shooting. And we went and we got AR-15s and 9 millimeter handguns.

I mean, love a 9 millimeter.

The AR-15. Well, here's the thing. I said I just got a house recently, so I want I get guns.

Got to get guns, dude. Get them all.

I don't want to have them. I want to walk around my house improvising John Wick-like movements in every hall, the arms going different ways. I've got all that picked up, all the theoretical things of it I love and I can't wait to have. And pray to God, someone tries me. But when we went to that range, the two times in recent history I've been shooting was that one time with Louis, we got AR-15s and 9mm and a bunch of bullets. When the bullets from the guy next to me started coming over- When the casings bounce over. And hitting my arm and stuff. And they're high? Yeah. Then I asked the guy who worked there, I go, who's to stop these people here who I don't know from just taking the gun and turning on everybody? And he goes, that's why everybody who works here is armed. I'm like, right. But you don't know to do anything until this guy already kills me first. And he was like, well, we hope it doesn't happen. And then I think I shot three more bullets and I went to Louis and I go, you can finish mine. I'm going to go shake and smoke outside.

I remember, dude, I've had that. Everyone that goes to a range has that thought for a second. When you see people like, and you're like, what if this dude slips? You know what I mean? And his back... Because, by the way, those walls are pretty small between you and the next guy. It'd be real easy to fuck around. But that's why they do keep those guys there to keep your back. Sometimes they'll put their hand on your back because if you're stupid, you'll see people going to say something to their buddy, Bro, and it's like, they'll do that to make sure that you're not going to put the gun back and say something to someone. But I went shooting with a buddy who opened for me, and we both had the same thought. There was a couple of guys in there that looked like they were fucking... They had a lot of fun. They were having a lot of fun. And I was like, I don't want to be near those bays whatsoever. But I do get I get that. Some people get really nervous because if you have any brain, the power of it, you're like, I guess I could just kill everybody right now.

It's so violent. That's what I said. That was my description of it. I know we're just shooting it paper targets, I go, but it's so loud in there. So loud. And just going, and I was like, I don't know. It was pretty scary. And then the second time was quite a day. A pretty fun one that was on fully loaded. No, no, it wasn't fully. I was just opening me and Soda open for Bird at Red Rocks. Oh, nice. And we went in a day early. And during the day we went, I'm sorry, it was the day of. When the night early, the day of the shows, we went out to an NFL player's house who plays on Tampa Bay.

Can't say who.

I don't know. He didn't do anything. Nothing bad happened.

It was great.

It was Ryan Jensen. But I think he does not love this story because he says it didn't happen quite how it did, but it did. But it was beautiful. He's building the house, so it's all being done and stuff, but he's got nothing but... He was driving to the Shining house where he lived and/or the hotel. And he had all this land, and he has pumpkin set up and these big dirt hills where you can go. He had a 50 caliber.

That thing is fucking insane. It It was nuts.

Bert did it and shot a keg, and the keg like, explodes. I shot it twice. They made me do it the second time. The second time, I didn't want to do it anymore, and I did so bad because it was so loud the first time. When I was doing the second time, when I pulled the trigger, I went like that. You're going to break your shoulder. I was like, well, then let me stop. But we shot all kinds of these guns, like the machine guns, like the automatics. That was pretty fun. But the story has nothing to do with shooting. That's the funniest part. It does bear repeating. So they were like this couple, the guy and his wife wanted to show us all their toys and stuff. They were very excited. Bert was there and stuff, which was cool. And then they go, oh, we'll be right back. We're going to get the Dune Buggies and the wife, who was so sweet. This wife, they were so hospitable to us. But this story is just so funny. Me and Soda, thank God, the two of us were together they're watching this. The guy comes down first in his dune buggy and does a burn out.

He's cranking, I think, kill shot by M&M or something. And then he hauls his back up the hill. His wife comes out her dune buggy and does a burn out, and his thing just starts going ass over tea kettle. I mean, it does two cart wheels and a head over and flip. She shot out onto the hood like Tony Catane in the white snake videos. And she's embarrassed, one, definitely in pain. Oh, yeah. And she was like... But when she did it, she shot out. She was on the front of the car and she was like, or the Dune Buggy. And she goes, well, that was crazy, huh? And we're like, yo. I thought I was already rationalizing in my mind, we saw a death today. Are we doing the show still? Are we still going to do this show? Do you do a show?

If somebody dies, you got to.

Is it in bad taste? I mean, you got to go do the show. It's definitely dedicated to A hundred %.

To miss Dun.

But then when she comes out, me and Soda, I don't know if we were the only two people who saw the whole thing happen, but we were like, Yo, she should go to the hospital, I think. And everyone's like, She's fine, dude. And then me and Soda started noticing that we're there for another 45 minutes, by the way. And she's like, You guys want snacks? And she just placed her hand in her pocket so her arm can just dangle. Because what we find out later when they come to the show, because she did them going to the hospital, it's like some a compound fracture of the shoulder. It's a nine month heel. It's like some crazy. Oh, my God.

It's like what an NFL player would get.

The sling wasn't like a sling like this. It was like an eight point thing that kept it across her chest like this when she showed up. And she still, we were like, yo, I knew it was terrible. She's like, that's no big deal. Just keep this on for a couple of weeks. Her husband's like, downplay it.

When we get there, downplay it. Don't let Let them know that you're hurt.

Because I think Bird said the story trickled back to what we told, and he was like, she wasn't like, ejected from the car. Like, buddy, she was ejected. Every day, you should treat as a gift from here on out, because I'm telling you, you defied God. I'd almost think like final destination it's coming for her every day. Every day, she's like, I'm going to turn the teapot on and also take a shower. Now, that's going to Rube Goldberg machine to some electrocution death.

Do one at a time, lady. Whenever somebody gets in one of those things, same thing with four wheelers. I've done four wheelers. I fucking flipped off one of those things. Dude, you think you can control those things? You're like, I got it. Once you start spinning out, if it's on sand and shit, and you get tossed When you get tossed from them, it's so funny. It doesn't look like it hurts that bad, but when you get tossed from one of those fucking things, it's unbelievable how your body just lands wrong. Do you know what I mean? Unless you're a pro skateboarder or snowboarder, you're always going to land wrong.

Or a Tired child. Yeah.

Well, that doesn't even matter. They don't even have their face.

It doesn't matter. They don't brace. They take the hit. My little brother fell out of a second floor window and got up and rang the doorbell because he just didn't brace. He just went down. He was like, Oh, I guess we're falling. Oh, landed.

Fuck, dude.

But my daughter, I know those. I've only ridden a four-wheeler once or twice and never like... They're so fun. I'm not there, devil. That's what I said. I wish I had more of. I've never been like the- As a kid, you didn't do dumb shit?

You didn't jump off a dumb shit?

Yeah, I would try this stuff, and then when it would go inevitably bad. I say this applies in so many things in my life right now. There's so many things I can't do because I don't believe I can do them. If I believed I can do them, you could do it. But all those things, like when people would go and they find a huge hill in the neighborhood, it's like, yo, just open the bikes up. Bomb it, dude. Just take the bikes. Take your feet off the pedals and just let this thing go. And I'm like, now I'm riding the brakes the whole way. I'll go pretty fast, but I'm looking at every driveway going like, is a car coming out of the driveway?

Oh, you're being smart.

Yeah. I'm just like, I never had that. So I never learned how to skateboard or anything. Never when you were young. I don't have a lower skate or ice skate or nothing.

Dude, I love doing dumb shit. That was my favorite thing.

We did dumb shit. It just wasn't like...

Dangerous, I guess. Yeah.

I didn't do too much danger. I did plenty of dumb stuff.

Mine was foolish. I think about some of the shit that we did. It was like, what do we think that was? You know what I mean? Being pulled on a skateboard in the back of a... My buddies were sitting in the back of a bed of a pickup truck, and then they'd film us getting pulled by a truck and they would put a rope on the hitch. It was like getting pulled by a pickup truck. That's a terrible fucking idea. Down the street.

Why the fuck would we do that? We did a lot. Actually, I guess we did dangerous stuff. It was funny, though. I was a good facilitator and knew the people who would do it. I was definitely passenger seat of several buddies on the roof of a car while we're doing donuts in a parking lot in the snow. Lots of those. But it's like, Jay, you get up there. Also, excuse for things in being fat. They're too fat for the roof. They were also so fat when I was younger. There were several things that were like... But it also got us into me and my friends knew a lot more fights because if we were outnumbered or something like that by another group of guys, if we were retreating and jogging away, at some point my jog is going to start getting closer to them behind me than to my friends moving forward. I said my name should have been Guys when I was growing up because that's all we're going, Guys, guys, they just want to talk to us, they said. These older kids who are definitely going to try to fuck us up. Many times on the top of a fence.

Getting stuck. Making a real decision at the top of the fence. Went leg over leg, went one leg over.

Jay, let's go.

Hold on. Hang on. Hold on one second. My baggy jeans have been pierced by the thing, and now I'm stuck, and now I'm terrified also.

Guys is so good. Guys. Guys.

Guys.

One sec, man.

My mom, when I was getting in trouble when I was younger, just fight dumb shit like that, fighting and stuff. She put me in Boy Scouts way too late in the game. Other than Philly, West Philadelphia was like a city. There was like parks and stuff and like a little bit of woods, but I was never camping and stuff like that. Sure. I did that first camping trip. I thought I was a tough city kid. The kids go at the middle of the night to go, let's go for a jog because we think also there's a Girl Scouts camp over the way there, let's go for a jog. The councilors were like, whatever, the scout leaders were like, yeah, guys, go ahead. We'll get the fire started. Then these guys started jogging. I knew this was going to be bad. In the darkest empty woods. And I just eventually stopped hearing the crackle of their shoes, screaming guys, and then made my way back and just went back and sat with the adults. I'm like, Yeah, those guys are crazy, whatever they're doing out there.

I like fire. I like fire way more than other I go, Yeah, I don't like Girl Scouts.

In here, we pour whiskey.

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Ginger. I like ginger. When were you your biggest when you were a kid? So funny is my biggest definitely as an adult.

Because you say you weren't a fat kid.

I was a fat kid for sure. But in all pictures, I say by the standards of then. I don't know if now that it would be that crazy, the size I was.

Because you're just a big dude, though. You're not a fat guy. You're a big dude.

I've lost weight now. But I mean, my heaviest as an adult is3: 40.

No way.

Which was bad.

How long ago was that? I feel like I've only known you-10 years. In this shape.

Well, I've lost weight now because of the sweet science of Mounjarro.

God bless the Mounjarro, dude. God bless it. Bobby's on that fucking bullshit, too. Is that what he's on? Which one is he on? Yeah, Mounjarro. Mounjarro? Is that right? It's not the main one.

Not Ozempish.

No, it's one more. It's not Mounjarro either. No, it's Wagovi.

Wagovi? Yeah.

Not Bull gogi, you fucking Bologoghi. Bologoghi? Yeah. He's on Bim Bim Bap. No, he's on that one. Wagovi. But it made him sick as fuck when he first started taking. No, sorry. The other one made him sick. Ozempic made him throw up like crazy.

I switched up from Ozempic to Majara. Were you puking? No, but I mean, I could of every day.

Oh, bro, he puked all the time. He said he took four of the things at once. He did it every day. He fucked up the dose the first time. Oh, that's nuts. Yeah, he got really sick. That's nuts.

So it was like a deep dive Yeah, he could have died. I mean, he- I wonder how dangerous that is.

Yeah, no, it is very bad.

It shuts off your digestive system.

Yeah, it's bad. I mean, he genuinely could have gone into shock. It was really bad.

But he was puking from it. Thank God he comes from a broth-filled culture.

He He's so used to it. Well, yeah, in Wegovy, they have noodles inside of the syringes. So it slowly seeps into your body as time goes on. No, but look, this stuff has been helping people, but it does freak me the fuck out. Yeah, me too. How efficient it is? It's so efficient. It's unreal. You can't name anything that works that fast, that good. You know what I mean?

Affron. Another thing that they say is terrible for you, that I'm addicted to.

Really bad. Yeah, I love Affron. Dude, clear it out. I love it.

I stopped even looking into the The damage it can do and what it is doing and the rebound and all the stuff. I just know we have to broadcast constantly, and I have the serious show. So I'm doing four shows there a week and three other podcasts.

Jesus Christ. Wait, you have Legion?

Legion Skanks, two episodes a week. You and Bobby. Me and Bobby are four shows a week.

And then you're- And then you're- The Story Wars. Wow. Jesus fucking Christ. You're seven days a week, almost.

Oh, yeah. And then I travel on the weekends, on Sundays. But Afrin, They say it's evil, but I'd say it's my best friend because I said I've never had something work so quickly. It's funny when Bargazzi did SNL, one of his monologs, he has a joke where he talks about Afrin. He's like, if you don't know what Afrin is, don't even look it up. He's saying it's such a problem. The funny of that to me when he was telling that joke was he was opening for me in Houston a million years ago at the laugh stop. On the way to the show the first night, I was like, Yeah, I don't know if it's my allergies or what, but I cannot breathe. And I was talking crazy. And he was just like, Afrin, buddy. And I was like, I've never heard. Then the guy who was driving us was like, You never heard Afrin? It's great. They took me to a CVS, and I've never stopped taking I've had a lot of aphrens since that day. A lifelong problem.

Go get some Afrin. It's brought to you by Afrin code whiskey for 10% off of aphren. We're pumping Pfizer, dude.

But it is. That's a drug that works as good as Majaro. Oh, 100%. It does what it says.

The effectiveness The mix of Afrin is similar to that. I just think I've seen people transform. He's slow but low. It's working for him, for Bob. But there's a couple of people I know that I'm like, holy shit, dude. It's a different human being. And It was only a month, maybe.

And it'll save people. But I said a thing about it freaking you out. It freaks me out, too. That's why it's funny. Before I even took the Ozempic, instead, I was going to take it. We talked about it on the radio a bunch, and we'd sing the song, The Zempic song. And then we got on it and making me feel shitty. But also, because we announced everything and talk so much, I was getting so many messages. My grandfather died from that exact thing yesterday. And you're like, what? And they don't give you any more information than that. So you get a bunch of those like, this stuff actually it eats your brain. What are you talking about? Show proof. Show your work. Yeah. So they just like, I got tired When I started Mujer, I didn't mention it right away. And then just casually, when it comes up, we would say we did it just to avoid that because I will live in that. So same thing with Afrin. I just don't look up what it does. People go, you know what that does to you? I go, no. I do, actually. It opens up my nose and I can talk again.

Right.

It gets me back to where I want to be. Did Bobby take that shit? Bobby took something, didn't he?

Bobby. Kelly? No, he got the surgery.

Oh, that's right.

I know. And he got the surgery a This would make me furious. A year before.

That shit came out?

These things came out. Because, I mean, again, we don't know what the long term effects, I guess, of this are. Same thing getting surgery. Surgery can fuck you up, too. But you'd probably rather try that before you have part of your body removed.

I guess, dude. I don't know. The irony may be you'll probably have to have something removed after the drug. You know what I mean? To me, it's like, whatever fucking works. We're here for a fucking... We're here for a short time.

Who gives a shit? So legalize of sodomy everywhere. Please. Joe, leave that in.

Before we fucking... Dude, I've been talking about these plane crashes, and I don't want to talk about it anymore, but I can't get away from it because we travel so much.

It was Delta. Dude. I hate that it was Delta. I had to get on Delta this morning from Austin.

I just flew back from Boston. I was like, I'm going six hours across the fucking country. This wasn't like... That Delta was Minneapolis to Toronto, by the way. Oh, shit. By the fucking way, we're going to Minneapolis. It's like in two days. It's one of those things where We talked about on the other pod that I thought, yeah, man, it does feel like it's more than normal, but maybe we're just seeing it more than usual now because the media is wonderful at sensationalism. And I was looking up how many more crashes happened in other years, like nontraditional crashes, because some of these were like, skitting off the runway or the private ones.

Like, Black Hawk hit a fucking thing. That shit's fucking crazy. Philly was transporting a girl for a life-saving surgery.

I mean, That's insane. Some of these have been a little bit. Look, it is a little bit more than normal.

I mean, dare I say, God wanted that kid.

He tried every way.

God wanted that kid home.

He's like, I'm not going to let her land. I can't do it. But I keep getting tripped up now because I'm like, are they just not fucking checking down shit? Are they just getting lazier? Or what I imagine it is the ground crews and the restrictions and all that stuff. People People are either getting overloaded with work and they just can't do all of it, or the planes are reaching that tipping point when they're like 20, 30, 40 years old, and shit's just going to... We're just seeing it happen.

Isn't it funny, though, as they're saving our lives, though, when they do things like, guys, we're going to have to de-board the plane. Something wrong with the engine. You all, Come the fuck on. At that moment, if they would go, we'll probably be fine with this trip. Everyone would stay on that plane. Yeah, let's go.

I wouldn't even think twice. We're missing a part. You're like, get the part. It's like, It could be the most… It's like, yeah, this little flap that goes on the back of the wing, if it's not angled this way, it'll just tip and we'll die.

I always sit and wonder, though, too, who's the person I'll be on the plane? Because I'm trying to think of the possible deviations that we could have as people travel every weekend, a hundred flights a year. It's insane. At least. What are the odds? I'm like, something. I've had crazy turbulence, but it's not that. It's going to be something Have you ever had a touch and go?

Where they go to land, but they have to take back off? No. Oh, brother. I've had it twice.

Scary as hell.

Bur talked about it one time that he said it almost made him want to stop flying because his was so fucking bad because the crosswind or whatever So bad that they came in this way and you touched down, then you keep going. I did it in Vegas, and man, it made me so nauseous, dude, because I was sick in my sense. Not from the turban. It's just like, I was going to get sick. I was like, Fuck, dude. This is not going to happen. I'm crashing.

What's something when they give I see those announcements way in the air. They go, All right, guys, we're going to circle for a while and see if we can get the landing gear is not coming down. And just the idea of going, who are you on that plane?

What human do you turn into?

I think if I'm by myself, probably a keep to myself and just be like, I don't know. But I also know inside, I will want to be going like, What do we do?

Can anybody help?

There's no real protocol for this. I know they give you a bunch of horse shit to do.

What is it? I looked it up and it said that US-registered civilian aircraft accidents, it's like 1,216 in 2023, 1,277. That's over three a day. So I think it's more common. Because here's why. So my buddy went to flight school when we were in college, and a lot of those little single engine Cessnas that you see a lot. There's way more flights than you think. It's crazy how many planes are in the sky. Those little tiny ones, they have little tiny accidents all the time. Not crash and die, but when they land, they'll slam too hard, and they'll mess up a landing gear, or they'll clip a wing when they let... I mean, there's a lot of fucked up shit that happens on those little ones, and he says he saw it all the time. In fact, it's so common. It gets them used to small little bullshit things going awry and then them figuring it out. But it's not death. But would that get sent to a study that the US would have? Would they have to report that? The FAA has to register all that shit. Yeah, because if you take a plane into the fucking sky, you have to register it.

I I've flown on a handful of private planes now from other people's stuff. Yeah, same.

Other people's bills.

Yeah. I'll tell you, I love the luxury of it is great. The comfort of it is much better and all that. But, man, I can't. As someone is afraid of flying, I'm like, this thing is a dart. I've been on some of them where you can't stand up all the way.

Oh, yeah. When your neck is crained.

You have to sit immediately. It's like, great. The feeling of that is like, this thing is primed to be a problem. It's a missile. Yeah.

This is a fucking missile.

You're dark going through the air.

I would much rather have the commercial. I mean, I know that sounds like a privileged perspective, but when I have been lucky enough to be on somebody else's private plane, I still get fucking weird about it, man. I'm still like, man, I'd rather be on a big fuck off plane because you feel nothing. Me, Stavros, Theo, Schultz. We did this fashion show thing. They did a comedy fashion show in Paris. Yeah, right Yeah. They flew us out there, Kidsuper. And they were like, Hey, we're going to fly you on this Puma jet. And I was like, Okay, fuck. That sounds fun. We were going to the Atlantic in the middle of the night. And I was like, Fuck, dude. I wish we just took a regular plane because you felt every... I mean, you felt fucking everything. And it's the dead middle of the night. And I was like, oh, bro. Because I thought they gave us the option. They're like, if you're not already in New York, you can take a commercial. But I was already on the East Coast. I was like, well, let's do it. But in retrospect, on the way back, even, I was like, fuck, dog.

I don't want to cross water again in one of those things.

Also, whenever I get on a private plane, even when it's tiny right away, though, I can't. I like when people get... I've seen people get used to them. Where it's like they're still on there reading a paper and whatever. I think the whole time, I'm still like, This is nuts.

Yeah, dude, I'm strapped in the whole fucking time.

Like, Are you supposed to be on this thing?

Yeah, no. It does feel way too lax that you get on and the pilot's like, Boys, how are you doing? You guys okay? We're going to be getting out here in about three or four minutes. We'll So we'll talk to you in a minute. And you're like, it's way too chill. And the door is just open and you're like, I don't like that at all. Close the door. Fucking close the door.

It's way too close.

I don't need to see the sausage.

Guys, all good? You guys good back here? Got you a couple of sandwiches over there.

I hate that, dude. You're like, get up there, dude. We had a guy talk to it. He was standing there. He's like, his son was flying, him and his son, and they own this plant. And he's like, no, he's good. Yeah, he's good. And I was like, dude, get up there, please. I don't like it already.

He's going to do the trial by fire. He goes, son, it's all yours. He's like, dad, I don't know how to do it yet.

He goes, you're going to learn today. You'll learn, young man. Spread your wings, kiddo.

Opens door for you guys. Boys, he's doing it. His first time.

You guys. Now, you know what, though? Traveling as much as we're traveling, my tour is coming to an end now. So thank God, knock on a whole bunch of fucking wood. How long are you taking off? I don't know, man. You know what's funny is? Every year, I say I'm going to take off more time than I do. I'm a fucking liar about that shit. I'm always like, oh, I'm going to. And then I just end up But for right now, I have nothing in the books until the end of the summer. We go to like, Bobby and I are playing London and Dublin. It's just two shows popped up because I'm already supposed to be over there for something. So I was like, I could be fucking I've never played London or I've never played Europe. Ever. Never. I had a chance to go do Edinburgh, and I never could do it. And I was bummed.

Did you do it? No. Never done Edinburgh. I'm not away from home, that long guy.

Yeah, it's like a month and a half or something. Ari fucking loves that shit.

I know. But he immerses himself in the culture. I'll be there the whole month. I just know myself. You are who you are. My complaints in place. I've been to the South African Festival. It's amazing. Amazing experience. But you're like, How is South Africa? And after I get past, you just saw loose monkeys walking around. We saw where the oceans met. The Table Mountain, this crazy thing. But really, there's nothing on TV there. Before, everyone had a laptop when I was out there. So I was out there at mercy of the television. And you're just like, cable out of here sucks.

They need some American shows, dude.

Yeah.

You need to adopt our shit.

So Edinburgh, I look at his dad like, I don't want to go eat in a bunch of stone restaurants. They're always going to crumble.

It's all stone. It's all fish inside a stone restaurant. Trust me. Being away from home for that long is tough for me.

But if your party, like I said, but Soda loves it. But I think he also said he would have gone less. Yeah, less time. I think less time if he could go back because it is fun. But so I'm saying, if you're like, and Ari's I'd already go drink every night.

I can try to get immersed in the culture, but I get homesick fat. I mean, I get homesick when I'm on the fucking road road. When I'm on the road too long, I start to get real finicky and antsy about small shit that you're like, dude, I just want to be in my fucking place, dude. I want to be... The suitcase living gets fucking older shit, man.

Even when I did like the Burt's fully loaded tour there, I did all the dates on that. I know.

I did four with you guys, and that was enough.

But I could have stayed out the whole time. I think some people did. Yeah. Would stay like, out the days off. But the days off, but So days off, I went home because I had to go work. But I mean, also, I don't know. If I was just like, I mean, it would be a day where I'm like, what the fuck are we doing out here?

Some of those guys, some guys can do... Some comics can stay on the road forever, and it doesn't even bother them. And they just I mean, dude, Bargatz, that guy, he's on the fucking... He lives on the road.

In the way it's being done, you could always do something if it's done the right way.

His is the top level, but he tours a fuckload.

Of course. But he's got a bus decked out the way he wants, brings the friends he wants to bring and go. You know what I mean?

No, that is the move. If you could do that.

Yeah. It's like I said, same thing with Bert. It's like he'll have his whole family and IV guy with him. So it's like a trainer. Homes wherever he goes. Everyone he's home with is then also on the road with him. That is true.

I did four of those dates with you guys, and I was like, it was rad, but I just bus living. We did the bus for bad friends, and we'll never do that shit again. It was fucking... Really? Dude, I hated it. Did you?

I love the concept.

The idea is smart. I'm just not a bus guy. I like to fly to the flight to the city. Go to the hotel, go work out, go get something to eat, then chill the fuck out, and then go to the show. The bus felt like nomadic. And we also were on the go.

You just remind me by saying working out. You just reminded me that I should have worn, they had to even pack it. I got a shirt that's almost the logo from What's the Rob Dyrdick Show? Ridiculousness. Oh, yeah. Like the guy crumbled over and it says Robert Dyrdick. This is Bobby Kelly because of the video that... Did you unearth that? Oh, yeah, I did on this show. That is one of the funniest things of all time.

Do you remember this? Bobby was working out of the gym and he fell backwards out of the- The decline.

He went to the decline bench and he went back with the weights and the weights just took him back and the weights went to the side and he flipped his feet over.

One of the greatest images I've ever seen in my entire life. I had tears in my eyes.

Well, it's that. Then he, hands and knees, gets up and the best is off camera. He said an Indian guy was like, Are you okay? So you see when Bobby gets up, he's already embarrassed. He's getting up, trying to be like, It's totally cool. And then you see him go. He's like, give me a thumbs up. There's no audio. He's giving a thumbs up to the camera.

But he told me, he goes, I think he asked the gym owner or the manager for the security footage, and they were afraid to give it to him at the beginning because of a lawsuit or some shit. And he was like, I'm not going to fucking sue. And then once I saw it, of course, I was like, you should sue. I was like, brother, that's dangerous, dude. You should sue.

The way he falls back, he never stops falling back.

He kept He's like, I think the guy who he's listening to for the workout, I think.

You know what I mean? He's like, places it on that thing and it just goes... There it is. Pure momentum. Yeah.

One of the greatest. It's like it never stops. And his foot gets caught in the fucking in the line of the weight. You'll see the thumbs up.

You all right, buddy?

Yeah, I'm all right, dude. I do love that. And honestly, when we first talked about that and put that out, he was like, I don't know if I want that out. And I was like, it's going out, dude.

It's going out, and you should want it out.

Yeah, you have to have that out. How could you not?

How can you broadcast as much as he does? And he wanted to hide that from the world. Are you crazy?

It's so beautiful, man. You're fine. You're alive. It's funny, and you can laugh about it. Move on, man.

He has like that, my wife and child have to look at me with respect, though.

No, they don't, dude. And they never will. They never will. You kidding me?

Do you remember of those four days you were on the foil? One of the day's adventures was the Lazy River. Oh, yeah. But it wasn't lazy at all. Yeah, it wasn't lazy at all. I just forget that was the funniest. It was supposed to be. It's a two-hour float, and we're like, let's roll. And I brought a pack of cigarettes, and I had them. I was sitting on the innertube, and it's a We hit Rapids immediately.

Burt lost his phone.

Burt lost his phone. Didn't they track it down eventually? Were they able to find?

They did. They got it. They got a guy that scuba's four lost items in the Rapids, and he fucking brought it to the show that night. It was insane. Yeah, dude, you passed me a joint. I'm thinking, oh, man, this is cake. What an easy day. We're smoking a joint, we're laughing, we're all passing around. And then whoever with us was like, on the next turn, it gets pretty heavy. And I was like, what are we talking about? I thought this was a river.

We also had the two sexiest guy and girl, a real will they, won't they, of the lake or the river, were our guides. And neither of them, they were both attractive. Neither of them were more good at the thing. We were in heavy hedge, hanging off sticks.

Yeah, sticks in the face. I mean, several times. Yeah, dude. We hit the bank so many more times.

Way more than once. Then on those first rabbits, my cigarettes just get completely douched, washed away, and my light are gone. So now this two hours became two hours.

Now you're like, shit. It's a long, it's a real two hours.

It's a long two hours with no more joints. Everything was gone. Everything was gone. Everything was gone right away. And then Dude, I got so mad. I was real sour grapes at that point. And then I guess it's a lazy river thing that people who are on the docks will squirt you a super soaker or something, which I hated that also.

Yeah, you got really fucking mad. People just would be on the bridges, on the overpasses in this park, and they were just squirting people with water and laughing. But it's a part of the cultural thing. Yeah, it's the thing. We didn't see it coming. When you got hit, dude, I remember you turning and going, Cut it out.

I didn't understand. Cut it out. I've never done Lazy River before in my life. I didn't quite understand it. I'm telling you, I made a game time decision to go in a bathing suit. In my mind, I was like, well, we're just floating down the river on a tube, right? I could just wear my basketball shorts and whatever and a shirt. And they were like, you might get a little wet. I was like, yeah, I guess.

No, we got soaken fucking wet.

Drench, like hair wet.

We were soaken wet. Yeah, we thought it was chill. Was not chill. We had a good time, but it was very much the opposite of what I thought.

Then I went to Bayes, so I can go take a shower. I got off one stop before. They hit one beach for a second, and then we're going down a little bit further to another beach. But they were like, You can get at this beach. I was so ready to get off that thing. And I mean, walking up. The hill was just jagged rock. I was just barefooting it up there.

Yeah, we didn't plan that. Then Norman showed up at the very end, the last stop. Norman's like, Hey, what's What's going on? Here to float. I was like, It's over. You came too late, dude.

I think he just about faced with me.

Yeah, he did.

He just turned around and went back.

Yeah, like, go right back home.

I guess it's done. In here, we pour a whistle.

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Ginger. I like ginger.

Jay has a special out right now on YouTube. Go see it. What's it called?

It's the first part is called Them. It's Them, They. It's a doubleDouble Crowdwork Special. Double crowdwork special. Releasing Them is out right now. February 20th came out.

It's on your YouTube?

On my YouTube, J. O. K. O. K. And then in April, we'll be releasing the second half.

That's fucking cool. So Double Crowdwork Special. I did Denver Comedy Works. Oh, in downtown? Yeah. The best, dude. So did you film consecutive and put them out consecutive, or was it taken from different nights and different shows?

No, we did four shows with the intention just to get one special, really. Sure. And then I would be able to edit together the best stuff. But they were going so good. That room, it's that room, too.

It's one of the best rooms.

Particularly in doing crowd work because there's no distraction. That phones and everybody also, all the seats facing forward is so huge there.

Yeah. And it's huddled in. It's almost like you're with the Boy Scouts and you're at the fire. You're just huddled in. It's so tight and crant, which that's what it's supposed to be.

But, yeah. So I did an after the I was like, I feel like if we just took out any overlap because it's not a perfect tightrope you could walk, like crowd work. There's only so many things you're going to say to a pretty Asian woman before you're overlapping a little. You know what I mean? Sure. Show to show. When you take out some of that stuff, I was like, we might have four small things, we'd release episodically. Then we wanted to pitch to Netflix, so we were like, well, they would do two. They're not We're not going to do a four part thing. So we edit it at night one, night two, basically. That's cool. I did like that. Yeah. So I'm excited about it. I've never seen it.

Yeah. You don't know what it looks like, but it is good.

I hear it's good.

No, but that place is magical. There's a couple of clubs in the country that have a little bit of magic in the walls, and that place definitely does.

That one's not divisive to anybody. Everyone says that one's great. The one I've heard mixed things that I think is great, that other people are like, American Comedy Company, I've always thought was similar. Where in San Diego, San Diego. Diego? Diego.

I think I've only done it once years ago.

It's low ceiling, everyone facing forward thing. It's the same idea.

It's so funny. You go mixed reviews. When I go down now, if I go work out at a club, I go to North County to the store because she always made us feel guilty if you weren't loyal to the store. It was like such a thing back in the day. It was like, if you were a store comic, you had to go play La Hoya. It was a privilege at some point, too. It was like- I like each Coast has their Jewish lady who governs through complete fear. Yeah, 100 %. These are two- Ours is still alive. Not for long. No, I'm kidding. No, it's just when she made it like a privilege to be, you get to go to La Hoya. So it like, embedded in our brains of like, oh, dude, if you go to San Diego, you better fucking play La Jolla. It's so funny. If I don't do a theater, I have to do that club.

It's amazing how caught up you can get into the politics of local clubs and stuff. Yeah, but it's a part of- That's the thing, the Comedy Cell. I would get phone calls when I was young in comedy working there and needed all the money I could possibly get. I had a daughter when I was 23 and doing comedy. So I'd make all I could. And then she would tell me if it's a club that's a block or two away, you can't do both clubs. And she would do like the, I'm not telling you which to pick. I'm just saying you have to pick one. And I was like, well, I need the money. And she was like, yeah, you don't have to. No, no, no. You need the money. Because I would say, I go, well, they give me a lot more It's the seller at the point, the club I'm doing is giving me more money there because I'm more important at that club. And the seller, I get that. You know what I mean? When I was younger and getting in there. But you're giving me three things a week. I'm making $75 here a week, and that place is giving me $300 a week.

And she's like, yeah, she just got to choose, basically. And you're like, well, I guess I'm choosing this. It's like I have to take the better place. You know what I mean? I hate that. Yeah, no, that sucks. Because when you get out of the When you rise above the politics of that thing right there, you realize how inconsequential all of it was.

Yeah, but when you're young, you have no idea.

It's just four walls, man. It doesn't matter which four walls you're doing.

No, it doesn't matter where you're. That's what's funny. It's the same thing happened out here, though, a little bit. There was a little bit of resentment for the improv in the story. There was a little bit of like, now the world has changed so much. Nobody cares anymore.

Jamie Masada passed me, literally. I don't even think I had a particularly good set in front of him when he passed me because I said I was Jewish on stage. Oh, yeah, He genuinely just said it. He goes, I didn't know. The first time I ever heard the term, weirdly enough, in New York as a 20 something year old, he goes, so you're part of the tribe.

Yeah, part of the tribe.

You never heard that? Now, I mean, a zillion times since. They say that out here. It just never caught me. Someone. I was like, oh. I was like, yeah, I guess. And then from that moment on, if I came out, he would give me spots of the laugh factory out here. Because that was the one they had short-lived in New York. They opened the Laugh Factory.

Oh, they did?

Where was that? It's literally how I met Bobby. Bobby Lee.

At the Laugh Factory in New York? Where was that?

It was right in Times Square, 42nd Street and ninth or eighth, maybe. It was such a lousy, awful. It was street-teamed by the scariest Black dudes with gold teeth. It was thugs. It was thugs barking in thugs. And they were so bad. I remember that, again, one of the most hurt things I ever had I couldn't even be angry about it. I was more sad because they always had their little laminates, the street team guys, to sell tickets with comics faces on it. And comics, some of them who don't work there, some of them who do. But they were barking people for tickets right outside the club. And I got off the... Rare, take the subway. I was always driving, but for some reason, I took the subway in this time. So I got off the subway, I'm walking a block, and I see one of those ticket guys. He has no idea who I am, which I don't care. That's fine. But he goes, Hey, man, you want to see a live comedy show tonight? I'm seeing his lamen. I see my pictures on there. So I'm like, Oh, wow. I was like, This will be funny.

And he's like, I go, Yeah, who's on? He goes, Man, you got to see this dude, Dean Edwards, who I love Dean Edwards to death. It's nothing to do with that. He's just pushing Dean Edwards. And I go, Okay. He's like, This dude was on BT's Common View and Def Comedy Jam. Dude, he's the funniest motherfucker out there. I go, Oh, yeah, it's great. It sounds great. I go, Is Big Jay Ocerson performing the night? He goes, No, I'm I don't know about a Big Jay Ocerson. He's like, but he goes, Dean Edwards is Bob, and he just keeps pushing it. And the point where it's getting uncomfortable. And I start going, I go, Oh, well, no, there's Big Jay Ocerson right there. Now, I think when he sees the picture, he's going to... See it's you. He's so just in sales mode. He goes, No, man. He goes, Fuck that dude. That dude sucks, which is wacky to say. And he's like, No, I'm not doing it. And I was like, And then I had to go like, That's actually me, man. He goes, Oh, shit. He's like, My man, Big Jay. He's I didn't mean nothing by it, man.

And I was like, What did you mean? What? And then I went upstairs and told the bartender, he was like, The manager. So this is after Laugh Factory. When Laugh Factory took his name off of it, it stayed a comedy club. So it was that time more. And the bartender was a guy basically running the place. And I went and told him, I was like, the street team is not only saying they don't know who I am upon asking, they're saying that I'm not here tonight and that I suck. And they said it to me and the guy was like, yeah, man, those guys are wild. He didn't even give a shit.

He's like, dude, we give them 10 bucks an hour, dude. Shut up.

Just take your drink and go perform. Yeah, he did not give a shit at all. He's like, yeah, sorry to hear that, man, but that's how things go, I guess. I walked away. I'm so lucky. I I didn't give him a bitchy, like, Well, I'm going to go upstairs and we'll see about this. I just walked away and then told anyway. But the fact that the guy wasn't doing anything about it was like... Because that's the fun... You know Josh out of Myers, right? Yeah, of course. Dude, it was one of the funniest stories. I love him so much. We went to see the police not long ago, and I got him. Hyped up. When we came in, he knew somebody who worked there, the general manager, this girl, and he was like... We said hi to her. We already bought tickets, so we didn't really need anything from the general manager at all. We went and sit in our seats, and then we realized these fucking yuppie, jerk-off people are... It's a sitting concert for sure. And then standing on some, but these people There's some real overzealous people that are piling in the aisle and really blocking the view for people who are sitting down.

That's fucking weird. That never is going to affect me. I don't give a shit. I'm tall. I start really getting Josh roused up. I'm like, Yo, man, these people, it's so fucking rude. It's like a sting concert. Like, take your fucking seats. And we're like, Yo, you should call the general manager and have them send security down here to ruffle some, get these people back to their seats. And She's like, she said someone's coming. Someone comes down, starts shuffling people back to their seats. We repeat this about three times. And by the third time now, because by the way, Sting, he doesn't play all the songs you want.

It stinks?

The show stinks. It didn't stink. No, it didn't stink at all. You realize you're like, damn, I would like to see the police. It wasn't. The other band members did matter. But he was good. The songs that he did that I love, he did great. But what you might call So I'm getting Josh to get these people booted out. And now we're getting bored at times. So when they're booting people out, it's when the song we don't know, it's like, boot them. And I I'm like, now we're doing like the beat it, buddy, like back of the bus, motherfucker. You let him know it's you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We called. We called. Very, very much so. Letting him know it's us. And then the next time it happens, there's a guy who's really hanging in there. It's like, Paul, looks like a retired cop or something.

Probably is.

Maybe. And he was sitting there taking a video for his... He probably was. He had a younger girlfriend with him. He was like, she was probably too pretty for him, that thing. So he's taking the video definitely for her. You know what I mean? And we're like, so me and John, we're just doing bitchy girl shit behind him. Kind of like, oh, God, dude, come on. All right, did you get the video yet? Come on, dude, scram. And then the guy turns around. He was like, oh, no. Over his shoulder, he starts giving us the finger. How dare you? It's all playfully, He's not being playful.

No, he's serious.

And he believes we're being serious, which is by intention, I assume. We are definitely being dicks on purpose. Sure.

But it's harmless bullshit.

It's harmless bullshit. Yeah. One of the most boring songs of Sting. So And then when he's walking away, he starts going like, we're still doing like, jawing, but we're jawing like a fucking hockey game or something. You know what I mean? Get out of here. He's like, Yeah. And he's like, Fuck you guys. Ready to fight at a steak concert. I go to Josh, I go, Dude, you should have that guy kicked out. He just threatened to fight us or whatever. And he's like, Yeah, you think I should? And I was like, You should, dude. You should go kick him out. And then he's like, Yeah. He's like, Yeah, fuck that shit. Yeah, I'm going to fucking get him kicked out. So he's like, I'm going to go talk to the girl.

To the general manager?

To tell her you're going to talk to her. Unannounced and with no... I'm actually not good at pranks, so I probably would have told him not to do this, but he did it. As he walks by the guy, he gives him like a, That's cool, buddy. No worries, man. You're going to be able to be kicked out in five minutes. Oh, Josh. And then Josh goes and finds the girl, and he comes back, and he was like, It's He's being handled. And then he goes, and I mean, we're there for another 45 minutes, and every time we stand up for anything, I just look back. The guy's just totally there, blowing his kiss still and stuff. They didn't even kick him out. That general manager eventually got to the point of like, All right, man. It's like it's It's like, what are you doing? Hey, we're here to clean up this fucking theater.

This stink concert's got to be tight.

We're taking this shit back.

We got to keep it legit. I do love how influenced Josh is. You say one thing and he's like, really? Yeah. You're like, yeah, dude, do Yeah, fucking. You have the power, man. You know the GM.

Throw them out. I go, buddy. He likes to go, buddy, you know the GM? Get this guy removed. He's not going to talk to us like that. You see the way that guy talk to us?

I do love the guy blowing, because it's to you. It's such a great, fuck you. Yeah, go fuck yourself.

That was a wild night all around. Then we left there and decided to get dinner at a diner near Josh's place. I I've received all of the energy of someone who enacted a hate crime when that was never the case at all. But I mean, this is the most falsely accused insanity I've ever seen. We went to sit at this diner, and where they happened to sit us, we're sitting across from a... It's a couple. It looks to me like a cute campy camp counselor And a Goth guy looks like a Marilyn Manson's guitarist.

It's like a lifetime movie or something.

And they were making out heavy.

I love that.

Whatever. Yeah, sure. They're making out heavy. And then we're trying to put it. It's obnoxious. But again, it is what it is. But then they start positioning at one point, and he starts really like... The Goth guy is really rubbing her pussy over her pants. Pretty aggressively, And it's like, but then they stopped after a minute or two of that. And we're just doing like, Jesus, this is crazy. We're nuts. And then our food's coming, and then they start making out again. It's too passionate for a booth at a diner when there's The people... But here's the thing. The people, they're in one of the booths against the wall, and they're both sitting on one side. No one's on the other side of that. The next set of booths, the people are facing away. Right. They don't see it. And the people behind them are in our face. So no one's seeing this display. Except for you guys. Except for us. Hard. Or no one else gives a shit. I don't really give a shit. Ultimately, it's just like when the food comes, though, and then he... Same thing. She positions in a certain way, sits outward.

Like, facing away out of the booth where he's now again, rubbing her a pussy over her pants again. And I just went after it. I was like, Yo, come on. And the girl was like, Oh, my God. Like, what? I'm like, It's great. You guys are fucking at the I'm like, That's wild. Trying to eat, dude. Yeah, I'm like, It's a bit much. And he goes, Oh, my God. And she's agaced. And the guy is just sitting there. And it's like a skinny guy. You know what I mean? It's not an intimidating situation, but I'm also like, I'm not trying to fight you guys. It's just like, let's chill a little bit.

Just stop fucking in the booth.

Stop fucking in the booth towards me.

I wanted so bad for this story to have Josh go, Yeah, I'm going to call the GM, dude. Get these people kicked out of this fucking restaurant.

What's funny was, is what Josh did was Josh walked away to change his order at the diner when I do the like, Come on.

Yeah, he leaves you solo.

When he comes, it's I'm pretty full throws when he comes back of jawing back and forth. But not really. I'm not really even being shitty. I'm just like, you guys are being ridiculous. You're being ridiculous. And then eventually she comes back and Josh goes, or no, while we're drawing, Josh goes back and goes, Should I go with French toast or Monte Crist? Just oblivious, which is great.

Your Josh impression, by the way, is very good. Thank you. I rarely hear a Josh Outerbier's impression that's good like that.

French Toast, Monte Cristos.

Come on.

We can do it.

Yeah, you can.

So Josh comes back, and then it was bickering, I guess, a little bit. And then the girl just hits us with... She goes, Would you have Would you have said something if we were a straight couple? And then it's like, coming clear, I go, Oh, that's like a guy-girl.

Because I thought you said they were straight.

That's why I said. So I was like, yeah. So they were like, I did. I was like, I thought it was a couple. And then when she said it, we were a straight couple. And I go, Oh. I thought that was a guy. And then that was inflammatory. I'm sorry. If you didn't think it was bad then, strap in. So whatever, they turn around and they're like, and then the girl says something is, and I go, she kept looking over at one point. Now it's so uncomfortable and we're eating. And then they ask us if we would like to move our tables. Like, Are you guys move your table. And I'm like, no. Now it's the point. No. We stay. I'm staying right here. Yeah, we stay. I'm like, They can move. And then the girls are looking over. I go, All right, go. You stopped doing what you were doing. Eat. I don't give a shit. I don't have a long term problem. And then, this is where smoking kills me again. I'm like, I'm going to go smoke a cigarette. It's a little uncomfortable in here. I actually want to leave. Josh also wants to order.

This place has the milkshakes where they put a piece of cake on top of a milkshake and then a canole sorted through it. He's like, Come on, we got to try one. You're like, Just order it, and then we'll go outside and I can smoke a cigarette. We'll come back in for it. So we go outside, and while we're outside, I'm watching it happen. I'm just watching. Now that I'm out of the room, the telephoning of the story, the The narrative is being changed heavy. It's that this was done because they are trans, whatever it was. Yeah, not straight couple is the problem. And I'm seeing the people turn around and going like, what if it goes just terrible? The guy-watching you smoke. That's the best. So it's funny is then I see the host is now mean-eyeing me.

All right. Very gay. It gets to the host? It's tough if it gets all the way to the host.

It's a small place. It's The host is mean eyeing me now. Oh, everyone in this place definitely saw this thing happen. It was very small. And the host is like, meaning very gay guy. Now he thinks I'm homophobic. But you are.

But he doesn't need to know that. He doesn't know.

I didn't bring that to the diner. Then I see at one point he goes up and gives like something he puts on the table of the couple that I was bickering with. He puts them on a table and I was like, Oh, my God. I'm like, I'm saying this out loud, too. I'm like, Oh, my God. They're giving them condolence gifts because of how they were treated so terribly. It's so fucking ridiculous. They're not babies. Everything's fine. They were fucking... While I'm saying that, the gay guy comes over, the host, and that's just the way he puts down wet naps for everybody at the end of their meal. I thought he gave him a special present. I go, Oh, okay. So the gays get to wash their hands. I didn't know what it was. I thought he gave him coupons or something to come back another time or some shit. I just couldn't see the table what he put down. I go, Oh, he's giving them presents now. I'm sorry they were hurt so... Oh, I get it, too. It's a wet nap.

Hate crime gifs.

Everyone gets a wet nap with your fucking cake milkshake.

Well, I got to tell you, send one message for me to Josh Ademires, the pink hair, man.

I'll see him the night. I love it.

I love the thing. I think it's someone showed me a picture. I was like, Who is that? They're like, Josh. I was like, what?

Bobby Kelly calls Josh one of my children because we hang so much. And so Josh heard that, he texted me the next day of the picture. He goes, since I'm one of your kids, and he's saying with the pink hair.

I love them, dude. He's going for it. Yeah, you have to. If you're going to do it, you might as well do it. Yeah.

Bring your dog, if you're wearing him, paint your hair.

I love that fucking dude. Listen, I appreciate you, dude. So funny. Please go watch the special on YouTube. The link will be in the description down below. And this one's out. The second one comes out in a month, right? April. April. Yeah. Go watch them both. Please continue to support live comedy. If Are you on tour? You're still touring around or what?

Yeah. Yeah. What is it? Big Jay Ogerson's Peter North American tour coming on a city near you. I love that. It's a long poster.

That is the long poster. Go to bigjogerson.

Com. Bigjcomedy. Com.

All my dates are up there. All the dates are going to be up there. Go support. We end the show the same way. You look into that camera, say one word or one phrase to close us out whenever you're ready.

Cuck. In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.

You were that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like that, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful.

You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse.

Gingers, oh, hell no. This whiskey is excellent.

Ginger. I like gingers.