Transcript of #691 - Johnny Hamcheck

The king returns. Sylvester Stallone returns as my boss Dwight Manfredi in Tulsa King, the Paramount+ hit series widely considered as one of the best gangster TV shows ever. This season, Dwight faces his most dangerous adversary yet, a ruthless new enemy determined to take him down piece by piece. With threats mounting against them, Dwight and his crew prepare for the biggest fight of their lives. Now that his empire is on the line, Dwight will do whatever it takes to protect everything he's built. Tulsa King, new season now streaming only on Paramount+. I want to let you guys know that my new special, I'm Doing Fine, is out now on Netflix. And thank you all for the support. He's got those 6-inch chains and those 7.5-foot egg rolls. Uh, he's a prankster, he's a content creator. Um, he's— this guy's one of a kind, and he's revealing himself for the first time today. I'm fortunate to sit down with Johnny Hamchuck.

Shine on me and I will find a song.

Um, am I acting all right? That's a good question, dude. You gotta tell me, man. This— I don't do podcasts, bro, but I'm comfortable. But, you know,

dude, one thing I would ask my friends all the time, I'd be like, dude, do I seem all right? Yeah, like, I never had any idea if I seem all right or not. Like my best friend Scott, I remember one time telling him like, dude, tell me who I am. You know, most of my life has just been—

Oh, 100%. I don't know who I am. I look at myself from an outside body all the time and wonder what the hell is— who do you think you are? Who are you? There's— it's a good question. I don't think any of us know. I mean,

maybe that's true,

dude. Life is weird, bro. Like, Everyone's is weird though, you know. We're all down here trying to figure it out. It's a messed up game, you know.

Yeah, and a lot of— and some of us are kind of being a little bit perverts too.

There's a lot of pecker checkers out there, bro.

I mean,

I told you,

dude, who runs this shit,

dude?

I don't know,

but

it's something else, man. Uh, Johnny Hamchek, one of the premier pranksters, I would say, right now, probably maybe in the world, dude. That's— I feel like, you know, you came on my radar just like probably as a lot of people's just like through social media, just seeing your pranks. Um, and today's the first day that you're kind of showing, showing yourself. Like,

this is it. This is the reveal that I've been holding off on doing for 5 years. You know, it's been a game of cat and mouse with the internet. And to be honest, it feels great. It just feels good to let, let them, let them have it. This is it. This is it. And I'm, you know, it feels good. It's like I had something in my stomach I needed to throw up for so long, man. And I can't explain how happy I am about doing this reveal, actually, and saying what's up to all the people and thanking them for all the love. And it's been a fun journey, but it's time to move on to the next stage of my life, you know? And I don't know what that's going to be, but I'm done hiding from the public, you know? It's caused so much stress, dude.

Does it really?

Oh yeah. Just acting funny about, oh, you can't take a picture, you can't send it to your friends. Like, and it was only for the fans. I only did it for the fans. 'Cause they love— then a lot of them are gonna be upset, you know?

That you're revealing yourself?

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. And—

'Cause you have millions and millions of views on your pranks, but you've never shown who you are.

No. In the very early days, in my first TikToks, I did— I had TikToks with myself. I did this alibi prank, and I'd go to Walmart and say, hey, will you do a video with me? And I showed myself early on. And then when I saw that the people on the internet were saying, I love that he doesn't show himself, And then I jumped on board and just made it POV with never showing myself. And it's been like a really— it's been a fun game. It's been, I mean, fun for them, but— 'cause everybody comes up with their own image of what they think I look like, you know? Let me ask you, did you know what I looked like?

Didn't have a clue.

No way.

Yeah, didn't have a clue, man. And I was curious, and it is this thing. It's like, yeah, it adds to a level of mystery you don't even know. As the viewer, you just don't even think about it. You're like, oh, this is this voice. But yeah, I don't know who it is. And I think I'm probably an average viewer. I don't go back and, you know, I didn't go back and research the first one if there was a reveal. I just always assumed that there wasn't. What's some of the stress that we don't see about hiding your identity?

The fans are always zooming in on reflections. You know, when I shoot videos, when somebody has glasses on and they think I don't know, but I know exactly what I'm giving them. I like to give 'em little glimpses, you know, and It's like I said, it's gotten annoying for me to try to keep playing that game. But I did it for the fans' sake. I didn't really do it for myself. I was tired of this game years ago, you know?

Not of the pranking, but of the hiding.

The lore, the hiding. Yeah, the hiding. I mean, pranking— I mean, I'm a little burnt out on the pranking. I'm not gonna lie. I mean, I'm 50 years old. You can't street prank and just keep— it's like, come on, man. It's time to do something different, you know? And I don't care what it is, but anyway, I'm talking too much.

No, well, we want to hear you talk. And I do want to show people at home, and just so some people may be hearing your voice and they may not be exactly familiar, but, uh, Trevin, let's play one of— just play 20 seconds of Johnny Hamchag.

Hey, sorry I'm late, buddy.

What?

I said sorry I'm late.

Oh, you're good.

Yeah. Did they tell you I was coming?

Who are you?

I'm Johnny, project manager.

I know.

Okay, yeah, Balboni told me to bring those chains to you guys. What the hell do you do here?

I flag.

I know, you're doing a good job too.

Well, thank you.

Yeah, they told me about you. I'm off today, but, uh, did my girl bring the Chick-fil-A by?

The Chick-fil-A? No, I don't believe so.

She was supposed to bring some chicken sandwiches for everybody this morning for breakfast.

Okay.

Yeah.

Dude, you must be— so many of yours that I, that I watched, uh, are ones you pulling up on construction sites. You must be known at every construction site now.

Yes. Uh, yes. Just in North Carolina the other day, young kid jumped out of the Bobcat. I saw his eyes instantly. I see them before they see me. They'd have a voice recognition. It's the craziest thing. It's like a blind guy that has super senses with his ears. Because they don't know what I look like, they match the voice up. I'll be walking in Vegas, I'll be in Beverly Hills. I can't— if I talk and people walk by me, they'll start getting curious. Yeah. And when I tell them, no, I'm not Johnny, they're like, yeah, you are. Yeah, you are. That's a fun— that's a funny thing, man. I found that interesting about

Is it hard to find a construction site to work these days, or are you moving area to area? What's that like?

No, it's all about the individual. I'll pick out a guy that looks like he might not watch social media. It's all about the goofy characters for me. Everything is about what they give me. It's not me most of the time, obviously. It's just these people. But when I leave Ohio, I feel free because Ohio, 9 times out of 10, I walk up insecure because I know they're going to bust me. So I'm like, Like, I'm ready for them to catch me. Those videos do really well because my fans love seeing people recognizing me. So in Columbus, it's still cool to do those, but I don't mess with even any pranks really in Columbus. It's getting old. But I can still find tons of construction sites. And I've gotten lazy over the last few years where I pull up in the car. I used to walk You know, all I gotta do is get out, put a vest on, and, you know.

So you used to look more the part?

Yeah. In the early days though, I walked up in shorts, no hat. Now I— dude, I pull up with the construction, the hard hat on in my car, which is the funniest thing because it's like the stupidest thing ever. But when I first started pranking, I had a very nice car. I was, you know, I had a, you know, I was— I had a good job. And

would you have like a Chevelle or something? Dodge Neon?

Dude, I had a, I had a $100,000 Lexus when I first started doing these pranks, and it was a big black. So they bought it, and then I went broke and went kind of homeless, and then I was driving around these $500 cars. So it was really a funny transition.

Um, but did the Lexus help the pranks?

Yeah, yeah, because they're like, oh, this is definitely a boss.

Oh, this is Balboni.

Yeah, this is definitely the boss. He runs stuff. He's You know, and, but it still worked in a fucking G6 that I ended up— a friend gave me a G6, man, with duct tape holding up the panel. There was a bungee cord holding up the panels. But when I put that hat on, man, it was the funniest thing pulling up. Like somebody's going to drive around with a hard hat on in the car, you know?

So originally you would, you would get out and walk up. Was that, did that create a different energy?

Yeah, that's a whole different one. It takes more energy, basically. Yeah.

So you got lazy now, you just kind of pull it up in your web?

Yeah, because the window ones, when they come to the window, it's like they're on TV. It's perfect. So those work too. But I used to just walk, man, miles, dude. Like, if you— Columbus, Ohio, I would walk from one end of town. I mean, I was putting 20,000, 25,000 steps a day before I went to work.

On your limbs? You putting those miles on your own limbs?

On my feet. Yeah, I'm my dogs, man. And, uh, that was when I had a job. I'd go into work at 1, I'd make 6. In the early days, man, it was like 6 videos a day. I, I mean, I can make them all day long if I want. I mean, it's— but it gets old and, you know, you got to do something different. But I

don't think it gets old for us, but it probably starts to turn into a lot more of a job than it does like something that's entertaining for you.

I call it feeding the fish. Feeding the internet and feeling that pressure to keep giving them something. And they get so upset when I don't post for a while. And it's like, yeah, it's an addiction. And, you know, you know that I have addictive tendencies and I hate the addiction to feeding the fans these videos. And then if I don't have a viral video or something, man, I get like, I get withdrawal, I get sick. You know?

You start to feel bad about yourself even?

It's a— it's literally a dopamine addiction. Like, when I— if I don't have a fresh killer video that's going viral, then I, I feel I start to get sick. And after a couple weeks, I get sick, man. And I have like this, I gotta go get some, I gotta go get— I gotta go get a video.

And they don't make like a Suboxone for pranksters?

No. If they did, I would take it right now. I'd get on— I'd get off the— I'd get off the pranks right away, go to Rehab.

Yeah. Get on that methadone, homie. That's what I'm saying, bro.

Oh my gosh. Suboxone. Speaking of that, well, I mean, we'll talk about that later, but that is the hardest drug to ever get off of. I had to kick that in February '25, and it's the worst. I mean, it was harder than getting off the hard fentanyl. It was harder than getting off fentanyl because—

Yeah. Before you go down that road, I know that because we've talked a little bit about addiction, right? We're both in recovery.

Yeah.

So amen to that, bro.

Amen, bro. Amen. Good job.

Amen. Good job.

I'm very happy for you and anybody that's actually taken that path because—

The toughest knuckles in the world, bro.

You need them in that game because it's an internal battle, bro. Nobody's gonna do it for you. It's the biggest war of a human's life, man. Amen. Yeah. Yeah.

Amen, bro.

Yeah.

Um, let's start from the beginning in your life, bro, because you've had some— I mean, you were a used car salesman, you were in a band, you dealt with heroin addiction, you've been to prison, dude. You've got me.

Not prison, but the county jail for like 6 months. So I've been to jail many times, but I have never gotten a number, is what they say.

Oh shit, no way.

Yeah.

Oh, because

they want— they said prison was way better than the county jail I was in. It's called the Workhouse in Columbus, Ohio. It's the worst place that It's the worst.

You didn't like it? Does it even have stars on like Google Review or whatever?

Would you like it? 50 gangbangers and not just gang— just every type of criminal. And there's one bathroom behind the brick wall, you know, that everyone gets to use and everyone's fighting every day. I mean, I fought a couple times. They're picking up people on mattresses while they're sleeping and launching them across the room to the weaker people. It was so— But I found, I mean, dude, you find God when you're in those places. I was part of this Bible study and we got up every morning and read the Bible. But man, when you don't know when you're getting out and if you've never had your freedom taken away, you need to, to appreciate life. I always say that sometimes I get so comfortable out here, I'm like, man, I need to go lock myself up just to remember that feeling of getting out, man.

Wow. Of just the gratitude of being free.

Bro. Yeah.

Or free-ish.

Freedom is something that we all take for granted, man. It's— geez.

Do you ever— did you ever celebrate a, like, a holiday in prison? Sorry, in jail?

No, but I just celebrated my birth last year down in Florida. I was in long-term treatment. I was down there for 2 months and I celebrated my 49th birthday down there. But when the whole rehab facility found out who I was, it really helped, man. I had all these fans in rehab with me and they were just going crazy. And it was like, I was happy to make it fun for them.

Oh dude. If somebody's Ham checking into rehab, dude.

Dude, in long-term treatment where we're all just trying to get by for long, 2 months. Oh

yeah.

That was the last time I was on hard drugs too. I got clean on February 25th, thank God. But now what was your question about jail? I forget. Oh, holidays in jail. I mean, no, but my ex-wife was— I was in there and she had a little baby. She had my son and it was stressful.

Dude, that's a unique way to refer. That's such a crazy way to refer to your son as. She had a little baby, but she—

I do. Yeah. My son, he's the man, dude. He's awesome.

Um, but that's awesome, dude. Um, how did you get into pranking? You're from Ohio.

Yeah. So I was always a class— I mean, I always remember that first time that everyone was quiet in the library and I farted, you know, like you just never forget the humor and, and the laughter that comes with that. So I remember getting addicted to being the class clown. In 7th grade, me and my friends would prank these Chinese restaurants. My buddy's parents were doctors, so we'd go in his basement. They had the fancy phones in the '80s, the big speak— the ones you could use speakerphone. So we would prank this Chinese restaurant all the time, man.

What would y'all do?

Well, I would call and ask them if their fortune cookies were true. We would order all these egg rolls, just so many egg rolls. But I said, are your fortune cookies true? 'Cause this one says I'm gonna eat a big turd and blow up. Like, that's not even funny, but my buddy reminded me of that the other day. But we called 'em every day. And then, so the owner got so mad.

What'd he get mad about?

Well, apparently they were getting all these orders ready and we were little kids. We never came and picked 'em up. Oh, so you guys would make orders for it?

For Eddie.

Yeah. We ordered 7.5-inch egg rolls for Eddie. And it was not cool because they're working their butts off and we're just little kids laughing on the phone. And— but the craziest stuff happened. This guy that ran the restaurant, I'll never forget, one time he said, you come down to my restaurant, I'll blow your fucking head off.

Yeah.

And he said that to me and 3 of my friends. And then he said, you'll get yours in the mail. And we got subpoenaed in the mail in 7th grade.

You got subpoenaed by the Chinese in 7th grade?

The restaurant. Yeah, yeah. So we had to go to court. I went, me and 2 friends, and his parents took us to court, and we sat at a big table and got lectured, and they told us how many thousands of dollars we cost them in business. And my buddy's dad's car got towed while we were in there too.

They must have been

pissed. They were so pissed, dude. It was so funny. I'll never forget that shit.

What other stuff would y'all say to him over the phone? Because it just—

I mean, all I remember is making him mad, ordering egg rolls. You know, I don't remember really.

Because egg rolls are good. I don't see— but I guess— and you're not going to pick them up, so you have no plan to pick up the egg rolls you're ordering?

No. And I think I was probably just practicing my impression of a Chinese person or something.

My friend Bobby's Chinese, dude. He doesn't give a fuck. Even, even if you ask him, he fucking denies it. He's a pussy.

That's crazy.

He's a good guy, but he's also fucking— he's one of those people that like denies where he's from or whatever, you know. He, he, he—

Where is he from?

China.

Is he? Okay.

Yeah, but he denies it. He's just like, he's kind of like, he's like kind of like, um, he's like DJ Khaled or whatever because he's from Palestine. He just doesn't talk about it.

Oh, okay.

But Bobby just has something against his own culture or whatever. Bring up a picture of him. He used to dance too back in his home country or whatever.

Oh yeah, I've seen him. He's, he's a funny guy. Is he out in LA?

I don't know where he lives. He probably denies wherever he lives. I don't think he won't even tell you where he fucking lives. It's just, it's just the kind of guy he is. But he's dealt with a lot of shit.

That's the shit that makes me glad I don't have hair. Sometimes I feel like the people with hair have to figure out how to look cool, you know? Like, and, uh, I'm like, you know, I have— I don't have to worry about that shit.

Oh yeah, he looks like he's been sniffing fireworks right there. But he's good. He's definitely a good guy. So you— but you— so you guys would call over there, and do you remember any of the other, like, things you would say that the, uh, fortune said?

No, I don't actually. My buddy just reminded me of that. He— it stuck in his memory for 5th— for that long. And he just told me again, my fortune says I— if that I'm gonna eat a giant turd and blow up, you know. And he just thought that was so funny. I don't, I don't really think it's that funny, but he'll never forget me saying that. But I just remember the guy saying, I'll blow your effing head off, you know. Like, that, that's crazy to say that on the phone, but Back then you can trace calls, you know.

But not from their country, dude. They've been in so many wars and stuff. I, I— and a lot of their family have been victims of stuff like that. So I think—

Fuck it.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm gonna blow his head off.

They look at a lot of people, especially, bro, I think you have to think that Chinese restaurants look at anybody who calls As the enemy, dude.

Yeah,

because they must get 80% of their calls must be people just fucking with them.

Back then we pulled up in the Yellow Page— the phone books, man. You can call it the Yellow Pages, it's okay. I know what you're talking about, dude. I don't think you're old enough to remember that shit, man. We used to just pick names out.

Oh, I think— oh, I thought you meant it as like a racial book or whatever. Oh, but yeah, I see what you're saying, dude.

Oh, the big-ass phone books that we would do prank calls with the rotary dial and shit, but I was holding a big-ass VHS camera on my shoulder at a young age making— we hung this banana like 20 stories down, and I tied a kite string to a banana. And there was this heavyset guy tanning with all this oil on, and I dangled— and we had the camera, and we dangled the banana all the way down onto his belly.

From 20 stories?

Oh, well, I mean, it was— And it was in Panama City. It was very high up, but it was impressive. Yeah. I've lost so many of those good tapes, you know?

God, I hate losing. And y'all slowly moved it all the way down?

Oh yeah, yeah. It was awesome.

Oh, it's beautiful.

Yeah.

And it just— did you touch him or just get as close as possible?

I think I dangled it. I don't remember it landing on his belly, but he was like laid out like a frog, man. I'll never forget that. He was all greased up and He looked like a frog from up there, and it was so impressive that we got it right in front of his face though.

Yeah, fruit facing, they call that. If you could do— you— 20— I mean, that's the problem is there's not like a— there's not like an Olympics for the fucking awesome shit like that, you know. There's an Olympics if you can jump over something, but if you can dangle a piece of fruit or produce or something 20 about 20 stories down and get it 2 centimeters away from a guy's mouth?

I probably have the world record, you know, without even knowing it, you know.

Yeah, I bet you have a few of them, dude.

Yeah, that's, that's true.

Um, what was it like growing up where you grew up? Like, what was your home life like? Like, were your parents— like, were you like— I mean, this is retarded. Did you come from— like, was your dad a clown or whatever? Like, or what was going on?

He was basically a clown. I mean, And so I was born in New York City because my dad was in the Coast Guard. So I'm proud to have been born in New York, and I lived there for 3 years, and then we moved to Ohio. So I grew up in— my dad's dad was— my grandpa was a preacher at a small little Bible church. And it was just— But my dad was wild. He played guitar. He didn't drink or smoke. My dad never has done any drugs or anything, man. It's like so strange that somebody can go through life without doing anything like that. Not having a drink or anything.

I'd take a rip off of something, dude.

Yeah, I know. I mean, how do you handle life? Like, but he was, um, before we went to the pool every day, we had to like read Zig Zig— listen to Zig Ziglar audiobooks on how to be successful, you know? And then memorize the Bible.

And like, what was Zig Ziglar? Bring that up. Bring up an audiobook, just a link of it on YouTube if you can.

I'm Zig Ziglar, and I'm in a studio sharing with you a couple of thoughts before we go to the live audience. To begin with, this program is literally for everyone, whether you're a mechanic or a physician, whether you're a college professor or a kindergarten student, the information is something that you will benefit from.

So, okay, so, and this is— and this one's called, uh, Developing the Qualities of Success. So Zig Ziglar was like a motivational speaker?

Yeah, he— it was about sales and being a motivational speaker.

Yeah, so you guys would listen to that?

Yeah, and memorize the Bible. You know, we had to memorize certain books of the Bible, do like pull-ups, push-ups, um, And it was just like this whole routine before we could go to the pool. But my dad, I was kind of— I was embarrassed of him when I was young. I mean, he would wear this— he'd put this rubber old man mask on and drive down the road, and I'm a little kid in the back seat and he's scaring people on the highway, you know. And, um,

dude, and my dad was actually an old man driving down the road. Really? Yeah. So that's funny.

Had the white hair in the back of this rubber mask.

Oh yeah, dude. My dad used to give away— he had like, he got this deal like stocking vending machines or something, but he quit like the first time he, he got too much of the deliveries. They delivered all the chocolates and everything and the pretzels and the mints or whatever. So he left all this shit in the back of his car and the windows were always cracked because they wouldn't go all the way up. So the rain would get in and it got hot in there. So, bro, but then for years we'd have to sit on top of all these boxes of fucking melted chocolate and bullshit. You get out of there, you have chocolate and pretzels stuck to you. Are you serious? Oh, bro. It was horrible. They had mushrooms growing out of the bottom of his car and shit. Like, it was just— it was a fucking produce section of a vehicle. Chocolate salad, bro. It was— his whole car was just a piece of shit. And so every time we'd get out, we'd like— not only would we be so ashamed of ourselves, but we would just be covered in like nougat and fucking bullshit and shame.

But go on.

Oh dude, that's funny. My dad ended up doing the gumball machines eventually in life. Did he? Yeah, he was taking gumball machines to— but

like, but did y'all have a sack of gum in the fridge? Because my, my old roommate did gum and he had, uh, at night he'd have to come home and put a sack of like, bro, he had like 1,100 gumballs in a garbage bag. He'd have to keep them in the fridge at night. But bro, we would be getting high and shit and we'd go in there and we would eat like, bro, fuck them. Oh, we'd eat 11 gums, bro. And he, bro,

the taste goes away in 3 seconds of those shits.

He would lose his mind, bro. He'd have to fucking go for a run. He couldn't even handle it. And we fucking— we would lie about it and our faces would be all like blue and pink on the edges, bro. Like we had a damn gender reveal going on in our throat, bro. We just been smacking on his fucking, uh, on his product, bro.

Oh my gosh, that's hilarious.

Anyway, go on, bro.

No, no, but I, you know, looking back, I was like, why? You know, my dad played guitar on the porch, you know, and sang his songs to everybody in the neighborhood.

And he wrote them?

Yeah, yeah, he's a great musician. He plays all these awesome folk songs that are his. And he was a good athlete. He'd be running his miles and shit when I was getting on the bus. But when you're younger, you're kind of embarrassed of everything your parents do. You know what I mean? But looking back, and he taught us to— he'd build stilts and we were walking around the neighborhood on these giant stilts, you know, and riding unicycles, just doing all the weird shit.

What do you mean riding unicycles? Like, was he trying to, like, be seen by people, or was he trying actually to do unique stuff?

Yeah, I think it was just that he'd like to do unique stuff, you know. He'd build a boat in the backyard, you know, and we'd sleep out on the— a flat boat out on the water and stuff. And like, I mean, it was cool. I think it's cool now, but when I was younger, I was embarrassed, you know.

Oh, dude. Getting embarrassed to your parents? Bro, my mom got a sheepskin jacket or whatever from New Jersey, and she was all excited about it. She saved up for like 2 years for it, bro. I don't even know how she got ahold of it. She got like a good deal on it or whatever, but it had real, uh, you know, like the curly stuff that comes off of a sheep or whatever. Yeah, yeah.

What is that called? That real wiry shit. Wool?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was it, bro. She had that real wool and she had it, bro. And she had this bitch, bro. Bro, she looked like a— she looked like a Care Bear that somebody like had never blow-dried or whatever. That had been— it was insane, dude. And she would wear it everywhere and she'd be like, I have on my New Jersey jacket. And dude, we couldn't even— bro,

like that.

But it was all— see the wool around the neck? It— the whole thing, the whole thing was the wool.

When was this?

I don't even know. I quit keeping track of time once I hated the world. Dude, you feel me?

Yeah, 100%. Good idea, bro.

It was so embarrassing, dude. And I would like, uh, oh, I was always so embarrassed when I was a kid.

You know, we held hands and prayed at every restaurant in public, and I was, you know, I was always ashamed of that, you know, because the waitress always comes up when you're praying.

Yeah, the waitress I'm sure comes up and goes, hey, aren't you the guy who said that you're gonna eat a huge turd and fuck these blow your head off. I'm sure that fucking was—

We didn't always eat at Chinese restaurants. My parents took us to Pizza Hut sometimes, bro. Oh, bro. Dude, Pizza Hut had Pac-Man and shit, bro, and the mini balls.

How great was it?

Pizza Hut was the best. I still miss some Pizza Hut, but they don't— it doesn't taste like it used to.

It's not the same. I think like CBS or Paramount owns it now. Somebody does. But I remember they made it big

time,

dude. They would have funeral parties at the one in our town, bro.

Really? Yeah. Damn.

And so like, we'd be over there and they'd be like, can you guys quiet down? We're doing like a funeral service. And we're like, bro, this is

pizza. You remember the red cups? Oh, those red cups were so good, man. Oh, the pop that came out of them.

Oh, but it just like— yeah, dude, I just— and I would sit there fuming, so angry that these people had died or whatever. I couldn't even remember what was going on. on, but shit like that just fucking pickled my fucking dick. Yeah, you know, I was just— something was wrong with me though. But anyway,

it was a party place. Pizza Hut was a party place.

Yeah, it was a party place, dude. And we had this little place called BJ's Pizza, and they would never tell you what the BJ's stood for, but you knew.

You already know,

right? And the middle of the pizza was always wet, bro.

Oh, see, that's how Pizza Hut is now, man. That shit's soggy in the middle. It's, you know, it's flimsy and shit. I don't like that stuff.

It's all changed, man. Back in the day, um, not everybody could— would just get erect, you know. You had to have maybe a— you had to hire maybe one of those, uh, flute people with the snake charmers, and they— and that dude would get you sprouting, you know, get you going, you know. But, but none of that's needed these days because of Blue Chew Gold. That's what I'm talking about. You can leave your flute at home, baby boy. Bluechew Gold. It has 4 powerful ingredients that make that dong— Nyang, nyang, nyang, nyang. You feel me? Abracadabra. There's a reason Bluechew is the number 1 brand for better sex. Experience it yourself at bluechew.com. And we got a special deal for our listeners right now. When you buy 2 months of Bluechew Gold, you get the 3rd free with promo code THEO. That's promo code T-H-E-O. You will also receive an additional 10% off and free overnight shipping on your first order. Visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. We thank Bluechew for sponsoring the pod and the bedroom. You know, the best business ideas come from people who are passionate about what they're creating.

People who had an idea and a drive to make something happen. You know, we're always waiting for the right time to do something like start a business. The truth is the best time is now. And Shopify can help. Shopify is hands down the best place to start and grow a business. It's the platform where you really own everything— your store, your community. It's easier than ever to start a business today with Shopify because you can start from anywhere, anytime, anyplace. We use Shopify for our merch store. They've been great as we've added new products over the years and scaled up, or taken products off and scaled down. They take care of the logistics so we can stay focused on the creative side. There's no better feeling than having something that is truly yours. Find out what it feels like to say, that's my business, at shopify.com/theo. That's shopify.com/theo. So your dad was a unique character and you guys would pray at these restaurants?

Well, yeah. I mean, we were raised going to church every Sunday and I was just saying that, and now, I mean, I'll bow my head and pray and I'm not ashamed of it. It's just funny how when you're younger, not many people at the restaurant are holding hands and praying before Pizza Hut. So it was just, that was just something. That

reminds me, bro. My mom would make us pray. We would pray for clean clothes for everybody in the world.

Seriously?

Yeah.

That's a good prayer though. It's

pretty good.

I just wrap it up. I pray for everyone going through a hard time, everyone suffering.

Oh, so you just do the whole— you just in and out with the prayer?

No, not that quick, but that's one of my main focuses during a prayer because it covers so much. I'm like, I pray for all the people out there that are suffering today. Yeah. Because everyone's going through something, man.

Oh, for sure.

Yeah. Freaking.

It just seems, is that a little generic sometimes? I'm

like, well, yeah. I

mean, sorry, dude. I'm putting you on the prayer spot. No, you're fine.

I don't care. But you're right. I know that we're supposed to ask for, I mean, who knows what we're supposed to do, but I mean, I do isolate certain prayers, although I feel like God knows what he's supposed to do. You know, it's

like, it is kind of weird, bro, if you know what you're supposed to do. Right. Say if you're Willy Wonka, right? And you want people to come by in the morning to your factory and knock on the door and be like, don't forget to make candy today, or whatever. You know what I'm saying? That's— it is, it's kind of crazy.

It's annoying when people tell you what you already know you're gonna do. Yeah. Or you need to do. Yeah. I mean, you deal with it, I deal with it.

Or like if you're ironing a shirt and somebody's like, hey man, iron that shirt.

Yeah.

You're

like, no shit, I'm getting around to it. Okay. I was just about to iron it. You know?

Yeah, like, what if God's like, dude, I'm already doing this.

I mean, I love people, but man, they're annoying. I mean, I'm annoying myself, but I'm just saying that a lot of people are made out of just

shit and fucking static. A lot of fucking bullshit.

Yeah, dude.

And then there's always some gay dude trying to fuck, just trying to fucking cum on your back or whatever. Dude, we used to have a gay dude in our town and he would fucking— bro, he would He would, he would J-O in his hands and he would just fucking hum it off a building, dude.

Are you serious?

Yeah.

That's crazy.

For no reason.

What?

For no reason at all.

Is this a true story? Yeah.

What do you mean, Hamchuck?

Dude, I was locked up in DC on a US Marshal's warrant because anything you do in DC is a, it's a federal crime. So, dude, but there's this one little dude We're like in a pod in the U.S. Marshal's Office, and there's like 30 of us in these bars.

Yeah.

And one dude can't stop whacking off, you know? And everybody'd kick him, you know, and be like, stop again! And then all of a sudden everything was cool. And then you turn around, he's in the back corner. I mean, people can't help it, you know? Certain people. I mean, he obviously had some issues, but—

Yeah, but I think, I mean, it's better than him committing a crime or a murder. murder, or what was he in for? Do you know?

Probably doing that on the streets, I'm guessing. But I don't know, I didn't talk to him, man. I probably, I probably helped stop him from, from doing that.

I'll tell you this, bro, if I'm jerking off near you, kick me.

I'm going to, bro, 100%. You're not coming on my back, bro.

Hey, bro.

No, bro.

Dude, one of the best things I ever heard somebody say, don't come on my back and tell me it's raining.

Don't steal my boxers and help me look for it either. That's what they do in jail. They take your shit and then help you look for it. Search parties.

But is it a fun game or it's actually just theft?

No, it's just a quote I always like to— I always like to say that, you know, you steal— they steal your boxers and help you look

for them. Oh dude, we were on spring break, bro. We all were doing pills and everything, and we all— we had 3 guys also like sharing a room or whatever. We all stole each other's pills at the same time and then helped each other fucking look for them.

No way.

Yeah. And I was like, dude, no way somebody fucking fucking stole your pills, and somebody had stole mine, and somebody stole, uh, Kyle's, dude. And we all had each other's pills.

Bunch of shady motherfuckers, man. That is messed up.

Um, how do you hide the camera whenever you're out there? How do you keep it concealed? Or do you not?

Actually, I'm just very creative. And that's a question I've never answered before, just like showing myself. So it's, uh, I, um, The craziest thing, it's not about the camera. It's— I put them in a hip— in some sort of weird hypnosis with the confusion and the stupidity that once I start engaging, they— I can— I hold the phone right in their face sometimes, the camera. But in the early days, it was the backpack. I would act like I'm a college student and just like keep it right here. And then I'd be in a store and I'd hold 8 things and just have it. But it was all about the confusion and getting their eye contact. And they believed me that I'm not— there's no way this guy's filming me with that phone right there in my face. And dude, now my phone has 6 cameras and it's orange, you know? And it still works though. But yeah, that's something that everybody has wanted to know. I call it the ham cam, you know? Yeah. Because it's not about— It's not about the phone, actually. You know, it's just a weird thing. I mean—

Is it a strategy that you use that was part of your plan when you approach people? Like, I'm going to create this sort of confusion out of the gate, or did it just kind of evolve into that?

Yeah, I just always used to mess with people and like act like I knew them. That was one thing I did at a very young age, back when I was 19, 20 on Ohio State campus. We would roam the streets at night, you know, Tripping on mushrooms and just talking to the street, the night people.

God's warriors, they call them.

Oh yeah. And they have the funniest stories and stuff too. But I prefer attorneys and doctors. I like to prank more sophisticated people now. I don't mess with— in the early days, I was messing with the sign holders, It was the scammer ones though. I wasn't messing with the ones that really needed it. I was just kind of busting the scammer sign flyers. They call 'em, I'm flying a sign. I'm just out here flying a sign.

Yeah, dude. The night people, bro. Oh yeah, bro. There's something about being out at night, dude. One night we'd been eating some mushrooms or something. We parked down here at the gas station just to see who was alive, right? And there's a dude fucked up. There's one guy unconscious who would like— was trying to get out of his car and had just given up, right? So he's just like leaned up against, like, asleep in his own car with the door open, one foot out of it. And then there's another dude, he's like, my car's broken, can you help me? I was like, I don't know enough about vehicles, you know? And he goes, well, there's just like some engine trouble or whatever. And he's looking in the back of his car in the trunk, right? He's looking for the engine or whatever. So I was like, oh fuck, nobody can help this guy, right?

No, dude.

Then there's another dude over on the side. He's dressed like Indiana Jones, right, for some reason. And he's like, oh, I'll help you, dude. And this dude, I see him walk over, he has a fucking machete hanging off the edge of his pants like a real Indiana Jones guy. And I was like, oh, these are

Dude, they're warriors,

man. They're warriors. These are the night people. These are the people that God makes as side quests, you know?

100%.

These are the after-hour heroes of Christ, brother. Dude,

the outfits on those people sometimes, they have some weird alternative weapon and like usually have some glittery pink tank top on.

Oh yeah. Just, they're ready to pump on somebody.

I was out in LA recently and saw some really interesting outfits. on some characters.

Oh, they have guys out there that'll smoke their own cock or whatever, you know. They don't even care. They'll fucking put a lighter to their own nuts. People don't care anymore. Um, so take me out of high school. So you grew up, you have this wild family, you and your friends—

They weren't that wild. It was just— I just grew up in a Christian family, you know.

Um, but y'all are unicycling, bro.

Yeah, you're right. We were the strange people in the neighborhood. I could do gainers at that— off the high dives. And, you know, I mean, we had a lot of I have very special skills that most of my friends can't. I'm still proud of that. Can you ride a unicycle? One wheel? Anyway, I like to throw that around still.

I probably can't. Is it hard?

Yeah, it's pretty hard.

What's the trick to it?

Just practicing every day. I'd still fall off 5 times before I was actually taking off and getting momentum. Yeah, and just pedaling.

Because the guy on the unicycle, it's always this, like, fucking just go one way.

Oh, they go back and forth. Could you imagine the high ones? Like, gosh, like, you know, when they're like 7 feet in the air, if you fall, man, damn.

So what's, what's like, uh, your first kind of occupation that you head into, like, out of college?

Like, so I went to college for a year at Liberty University, so I just wanted to get out of Ohio. And I, believe it or not, I saw an infomercial saying Come to Liberty University. And I called this number and they gave me all this free money to go to school there. And it's a Christian college in Virginia, but I went there for a year. I thought I was going to walk— I thought I could play football there. I thought I could walk on in football.

Did you try?

No, I went to one practice and saw they were like NFL-sized athletes, because when I heard like 1AA or Division II, I was way out of my league, you know? So I just started partying. My roommate was in a band and I fell in love with music. I started just smoking weed and recording music, man, like just recording anything. And I've always liked to record and listen back, but it started with smoking weed in college. And I fell in love with, you know, my buddy was just packing bars and I got to watch the excitement of somebody being in a band. And so I came back, I went to school for a year. I was like, hell no. I remember I just barely did enough. It wasn't worth my time. I was like a C student. just part— I ended up partying more at the Christian college than I had in high school, you know?

Oh yeah.

I mean, they, they party hard at those schools.

Do they?

Yeah, yeah. I mean,

we all doing LSD and coke and shit,

bro.

We're smoking crypto for Christ or whatever.

I put acid in my buddy. I look back on what I did to my old roommate. He had never tripped before, dude. And I think it's the most fucked up thing I've ever done is put acid in my buddy's beer and then ask him later how he's feeling at the party. Dude, that's just not cool at all. Now he works for the government and he's like— and he won't even take my call. He texts me all the time, but dude, he's so paranoid to talk to me. And we were tight, we're still tight, but he just will never take my call for some reason. And I think I understand.

Oh dude, yeah, bro. People—

How could I do that to somebody? I got older and I was like, what the fuck was I thinking, man?

That's like kind of the ultimate prank.

I feel bad about it. I want to make it clear that it's not okay. And, um, you know, it happened though, you know. I just think it's crazy that I thought it was okay at the time.

Oh dude, no, no. Yeah, well, yeah, a comedian did that to somebody and the guy developed like a severe— like, he like takes his shirt off all the time now or whatever. Something happened to him. So it's fucking— yeah, you can— that kind of shit can— something can happen to him. And your guy joined the fucking CIA or whatever.

He's basically very 007. Can't tell me what he does. Always flying in helicopters with the government, all the politicians.

He's still tripping.

He's getting awards. Yeah, but it helped him. I think that this one, this time, it helped him raise, raise the bar. He's really kicking ass now.

Oh, praise God. That's how God works sometimes, dude. And I'll say this also, they had a thing, vagip, and a lot of girls would put a hit of LSD in their vaginas back in the day. That was a big thing in our town. And one girl, like, they put

it in there, in their vagina. Yeah, in

their cooters or whatever. People call them different stuff, but people would do that. But they call it vajipin. That was a big thing. Bring that up, vajipin. See if people have— that took off or not, because that was a cool thing in our community. Uh, taking LSD vaginally is often referred to or misspelled in online spaces as vajipin. It's biologically possible but carries significant health risks.

Makes sense. You should try shrooms up there instead. It's more natural.

That's a good point.

Yeah,

dude. Yeah, if they made like a psilocybin-based, um, IUD or whatever.

Yeah,

this shit would be popping, bro.

This girl told me recently there's groups of people that try to collect as many STDs as they can.

Really?

Is that nuts?

They're called frats.

I mean, that's how sick the world has become. They're like, they go home and celebrate if they add another one to their— I mean, it's just a sick world that we live in.

Is it baseball cards for your vagina or whatever?

Oh my God.

So take me back in, bro. Um, you, you're dosing your roommate or whatever. He's in the CIA. What else happened?

Well, like I said, I, I wasn't college caliber football, so I, I called my buddies and they were they were working at the car lot in Columbus, Ohio at this Toyota store. And they're like, man, we're selling cars, man, making $300 and $400 a car, you know?

Oh shit.

And I was like, man, if these guys can do it, I can do that shit. And I went right back. I was 19 years old and started. That was a big job. I mean, I was making a lot of money for, um, and I was living on campus, you know, and, you know, making $5,000 to $7,000 a month when you're 19 years old. It was a lot of money. I went right to the pawn shop and bought drums, keyboard. I bought everybody down on campus at Ohio State campus, 'cause I was just living with all my buddies who were going there now. Yeah. And, uh, I remember that first check I got, I went and bought all the instruments that we needed and we started a band on Ohio State campus. And, but I was selling cars and I was pretty good at it, um, right away, you know? So that was the first big job I had.

What made you good at being a car salesman?

I think it was my work ethic from football, and then my addiction, probably. 'Cause once I started getting— once I'd sell my first car, and the manager's like, on the calculator, yep, you made $400. You know how much that was to a 19-year-old broke college student. So I was like— but work ethic, 'cause playing football was like, I think it taught me a lot. Sports, you know. So nobody— I grinded pretty hard on the car lot. I would just— you work a lot in that business. But

were you a good closer? Like, what was your thing? Like,

no, I— God gave me this weird gift with my voice. It's the no pressure, I don't care if you buy. But customers always wanted to buy from me because I didn't care if they bought. But it was like I sound stoned when I talk or whatever. I sound laid back and they like that. It does some— it's something I can't teach. It's just a weird God-given gift, 100%, you know, because I always did good in sales. I became a closer years later. I was a manager and stuff like that. So—

They'd send you in the freaking— Yes. Otto Eckersley, huh?

Oh yeah. Yeah, the— that was weird, but that was, that was fun. It was easy. It's the same shit. Just be— talk to them, ask them how they're doing, where they're from, and, you know, just how's everything else been going.

What were you selling? Trucks? Vans?

Toyotas, actually. Um, yeah, in the early days I was selling used cars, you know, at a Toyota store. And, and, but Toyotas, you know, that was what I always liked to sell.

Hell yeah. And what was like your most successful year, do you think, selling them?

Well, 2016, I was— I hit 40 cars a month a couple times, which was pretty— and I was winning a lot of awards like top salesman in the city. And, uh, they'd give us envelopes full of like $5,000 every month and shit. And I'd give my wife $1,000 and then and keep 4 grand, dude. Just, I was, I was bad.

Bro, that's freaking love, man.

It's called mama don't know money, you know? I was like, babe, I got second place in the city. Here's $1,000. Go ahead and buy yourself something nice. But I had 4 grand to go play card poker with, you know?

And is that what you were doing with your money? Like, what were you doing with your money? Yes. Did you notice your addiction start then?

Yeah. I, I mean, I I destroyed myself financially, like, many times over with chasing the big score in poker. I mean, I played in the World Series of Poker. I mean, I have some success, you know, I've got— but, but I literally, once I got behind in life, you know, like owing the IRS a bunch of money and just building up all kinds of debt, I was going for— I was playing for millions of dollars and out in Vegas. And I would I would put whatever I needed to into these tournaments to play. So, yeah, I mean, 100%. Addiction destroyed my marriage because I was gambling all the time. I mean, I always made it to my kids' games and stuff, but looking back, I was 13 years completely sober off drugs and alcohol, but the gambling was the biggest monster, man. And it wasn't until recently I quit gambling, and it's like the most freeing thing. feeling ever, dude, because it controlled my life for years, bro. It was, it was bad.

How did it start?

Dude, these little fairs when I was a little kid had the wheel and the dice that rolled down it. They were letting little kids— it was called the West Jefferson Ox Roast, man. I'm giving my little hometown a shout out, but I'd like to file a lawsuit against them starting— I mean, they started They had the— there was a game called Big Six and then Chuck-a-Luck, man.

And then Chuck-a-Luck?

Chuck-a-Luck. The firemen would run this charity game, but little kid, we were betting dollars and we're little. I mean, same year I pranked the Chinese restaurants, man. I was like in 7th grade when I started gambling at these little local fairs, you know? You know how the churches will have them and stuff sometimes?

Dude, the churches have them a lot, especially, bro, I would go over My buddy and I would drive over there. My buddy Lance, we used to drive over to, I think it was Virginia, dude. And his mom, I think, lived over there. And I couldn't— he would go into the strip club or whatever. I wasn't old enough, but he'd come out and tell me what the tits looked like and everything. And I'd sit out in the van. And, uh, and so he'd be in there having some drinks. He had a fake ID and looking at the tits or whatever. he'd come out and describe them to me or whatever, wake me up. 'Cause I wouldn't stay awake the whole time waiting like a fucking pervert or whatever. I'd fucking get a little rest or whatever.

Yeah.

And then, uh, but we would go to these— they had these little church fairs where you could actually gamble and win money at them.

That's what I'm talking about. You pull up Chuck-A-Luck. One of the— I learned to scam at a young age, um, with that game Chuck-A-Luck. The dice would bounce around, okay? You had to put your money on a color. The dice had yellow, red, all the colors. Mm-hmm. But it would roll down this thing, this big dice, and bounce around. And the guys running it, the firemen, were just looking out at the people. And I would wait till we saw the num— we'd see the dice land on yellow, and I'd slide the dollar on yellow. And it's all about the celebration. You know, I started, yeah! Just like acting like you won and you did it. And, you know, you sell it right there. that you sell the hustle.

So they believed you won even if you hadn't?

Yeah. Yeah. They didn't see that you saw the dice bounce on yellow, and then you slide your hand and raise them at the same time. You slide the dollar and silver.

Wow.

Dude, but I do it in— I mean, I beat— so there's a game in Vegas that, um, it's— never mind. But it's a game I still— I mean, I'm not proud of that, but if you can beat Vegas, it's okay.

Yeah, they make it—

Not that I've really beat it, but there is one game I can beat. And I used the fake celebration method. You know, if you celebrate loud enough, they're just like, yeah, pay the man. He won. He wouldn't be celebrating if, you know, if he didn't.

But so it's— so gambling even affected your— like, it affected though, it started to get bad?

Yeah. I mean, yeah, I was, I was like taking— I was going out to Vegas all the time. The wife was awesome. She, she would support all my bad decisions, you know, 'cause she was a sweet— she's amazing. And, and, uh,

and this is while you were a car salesman?

Yeah, yeah. I was, I was always successful in business, you know, always made a lot of money. And, uh, because of the car business, you know, but I, I always hate— I've been an artist. I hated selling. I don't like talking to people into buying stuff, you know, but it's the way that I paid the bills and, and for years. But yeah, I made so much that I was very bad with my money. and chasing poker. I just had this dream to win a World Series of Poker bracelet. Like, my whole life I was like trying to, trying to win that, you know. So, but I got in debt with, you know, the IRS because every year they take half my checks and then they still want $20 grand at the end of the year, you know. And I didn't save up $20 grand, you know. Anyway, I was— yeah, but addiction, gambling addiction is It was one of my worst. I'll be— I have no problem admitting it. It destroyed, it destroyed a lot of things in my life. You know, I've kind of screwed up financially over and over again, you know.

And it was always gambling that got you— like, put— that helped put you in those tough spots?

Yeah. I mean, I'd quit doing drugs and alcohol, but I would never want to let everything go. I was like, man, no way I'm letting cards go because cards Poker is a sport. It's on ESPN, you know. It's not— it's not fucking— it's not gambling. But

of course, dude. Yeah, people— some guys wear cleats when they play it, dude.

Dude, I did see a guy actually— Valvoni plays poker, actually. You might not know that. Oh, but, uh, I didn't even— He wears cleats. Yeah, he wears cleats at the table. It's true.

Um, what's the most that you ever lost, do you feel like? And the most you ever won?

Um, I won $17,000 at one tournament, second place in a tournament. Um, the last day I gambled down in Seminole, Florida, Hard Rock Florida, I, uh, I lost like $7,000 in one day. But it wasn't that, it was just I couldn't stop myself from going back to the ATM and I I had, I had won all week, but I busted out of this big tournament that was with $300,000 was like on the line. And I had all the chips in this tournament and just got super unlucky. Um, God had been telling me to quit gambling forever. He's like, man, I gave you skills with art, with comedy. You have all these other talents and you're gonna chase this. Yeah. This dead-end road, because all the top poker players go broke eventually. It's not a good career path. Anyway, yeah. So addiction, gambling addiction was bad.

And what about at that moment that you're like, I got to get clean from this?

Well, it had been going on for years. I knew that I needed to stop. And then I had all this things happening with Johnny Hamcheck, you know, I'm like, you got millions of fans that love you and you, you're doing good at this. You don't lose. It's not luck, you know, you can go out and make videos every day. But I, um, just kept trying to score, hit a big, hit a big lick, you know. Yeah. Just hit a big one and try to get a million. And because I was always, I I'm still dealing with the IRS, man.

Yeah. You owe 'em?

Oh, dude, you have no idea. I'm gonna get one of those special agents, you know, that comes to your house with the briefcase like Will Smith was in a movie. Like, I go downtown to the office and they're like, you can't— we can't help you here. And the guy comes around the cubicle looking like, did you say he owes over $100,000? You know, like—

Oh, like the big— like he's like— Yeah, he was snooping in. He's like, he can't do anything for him.

You know that, right? And I'm like, man, 'cause I'm trying to make things right. You know, I'm like, look, I'm here trying to settle this shit. You know, bro, it was just, I didn't pay attention to the IRS for 7 years one time because I was so angry that they take half my check and then want $20,000 more at the end of the year. I'm like, man, they can come to the house and get it.

Yeah, come pull up.

That's the only— and they eventually did, you know. They eventually get—

oh, it's the biggest scam, dude. It is. It's the biggest fucking scam. And then the money's not even used here in our country, dude.

Yeah, what do they do with it?

I mean, they're

not fixing freeways.

We know, dude, but we can't really talk about it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They're buying missiles for child care centers, dude. It— that— it's just, you know, they're busy.

You gotta get missiles at child care centers.

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One time I was in the Salvation Army Adult Rehabilitation Center for 6 months. I graduated class of 2002 there.

Oh nice, what branch were you? Oh, Army. Sorry, go ahead.

Salvation Army. And that's what I always ask people, do I get I mean, I was in the Salvation Army, so I want my discounts, you know? But anyway.

Yeah, dude, you were on the front lines.

I was answering phones in the donation center when I was living there. This was during some hard times, you know? So somebody said, I want to talk to your manager. And I came up with— I said, hold on. They were mad at me and wanted to speak to my manager. So I put the manager on the phone and I just came up with the name Johnny Hamchek. So that's when I came up with the name, particularly the name. But the pranking started, I was down in North Carolina working at a car dealership in Greensboro. And I was the top salesman, so I had an office. And there was 3 rookie salesmen that had started that week. And I just had this idea I was gonna tell 'em they had to do all this crazy shit. And I told 'em I was the trainer, So I brought him in my office and I told, I told this, um, this young kid who just started, he was like a pastor, real nerdy kid named Ryan. And he, uh, I said, man, you're gonna have to hold, you know, sometimes you're gonna have to get swung on by these customers.

And, um, I just told him he'd have to hold hands with customers and tell 'em that he loves 'em. For sure. To sell a car. And I told him all this crazy stuff. He was gonna have to take advantage of 90-year-old ladies and stuff. I was like, are you ready for this? You know? And he was ready to quit after that little interview. But so I started making videos and they rotted on YouTube for years. I, I did a few of those where I told these rookie car salesmen they were gonna have to do this crazy shit, you know? And, um, those videos were still some of my favorite videos. And

Are they out there right now?

Yeah, I, I don't know. Um, it's called a Rookie Car Salesman. They're, they're the best car salesman prank. That is, that's the very first one that—

And this is you right here talking to a potential, uh, like a trainee?

He had just started and I just brought him into my office because I had an office. I was just a salesman, but told him I was— they wanted— the bosses wanted me to train you guys and this is the stuff I want to go over. And I I scared him to death with some of this crazy shit that I tell him.

All right.

Sometimes people will question, how sturdy is your car? I don't want to buy a car that's not sturdy, you know.

And you got to let them know, you got to get behind the car and you got to start rocking it from the front, then you got to go around to the back. You're a pretty strong guy. You work out? Work out a little bit?

But I'm still pretty strong. You seem pretty strong.

Yeah, probably wrestled a little bit.

Actually, no, I was a musician and, uh, um, Probably got in a fight or something, right? Actually, no, I'm a pretty peaceful guy too.

Come on, man, you're too innocent, brother.

I know.

Well, you got to get behind the car and you got to push it until it starts rocking back and forth, and you got to get it in a little rhythm, and then you got to get on the other side and rock it. And sometimes you got to get the customer to start rocking it with you. Okay? Yeah, no big deal there. Um, you may have to defend yourself sometimes. Sometimes customers Yes. You— do you know any, um, martial arts at all?

I did take martial arts when I was younger, um, so I would feel pretty confident.

You might get swung on.

Wow.

It's intense. Okay. Um, this is—

wow. Keep playing.

Oh yeah, I've knocked a customer out before on the lot. Really? Right in front of the man. Hold

on, back it up 10 seconds. Play it again.

Wow.

It's intense. Okay, um,

does that ever happen to you?

Oh yeah, I've knocked a customer out before on the lot, right in front of the manager. Guess what the manager did?

Walk inside?

He high-fived me because I was swung on. Okay, I was swung on. And Ryan, you got to be ready to defend yourself just in case something like that happens. All right, so you might want to pick up a couple classes of judo, maybe a little yoga.

Why did the guy swing at you? I mean, what was the story? Can you give a little background?

Well, not right now. I want to just go over, hit a couple more points with you, okay? But I took him. It wasn't, it wasn't hard, I'll tell you that much. I did a roundhouse kick on him. I used to do karate.

Nice. What style?

Just basic black belt.

Okay.

Now, how do you feel— this is a tough one for everybody— but how do you feel about taking advantage of the elderly? Well,

hold on,

he, he will not do that. And that's where he drew the line. He's like, no. And I was like, yeah, it's all about dedication, Ryan. And dude, he was ready to quit after this interview, dude. He, he's a manager now in the car business.

Let's go, Ryan. Ryan or Brian?

Ryan. And he, he was a preacher too. Like, he was already a preacher. So,

amen.

I told him he'd have to price gouge 90-year-old ladies, and he said, I won't price gouge 90-year-old ladies. You understand what I'm saying, right? And I go, eh, it's all about dedication, Ryan.

Oh, man.

So I did him, and then I did this young Black kid, dude, and he was like, it's a dog-eat-dog world, man. And that's the funniest. So I did— and then I did this little Latino kid, and he's like, I told him we were gonna have to go to geriatric conventions because the elderly are easier to sell cars to. Yeah. And then we— Gee cons. Yeah. And we went to hospitals where people just got in accidents 'cause they'll sign papers easily. I told him, he's like, are we gonna miss work? But dude, when Rob, he's my friend now, he said, it's a dog-eat-dog world. It's like, so I got 3 versions of those and I was so proud of 'em and they rotted on YouTube. So I gave up for 8 years, bro. I didn't make a video for 8 years. I said, if, if this shit don't do it— yeah, there's Rob. I said, if, if this shit doesn't work, I give up on trying to be funny on the internet. Then TikTok comes around and my buddy said, dude, you should try your stuff on TikTok. And it was instant traction, you know. So

what was the first TikTok that, like, the first one that popped off? Like,

though, for all the wrong reasons, okay? I'm selling cars at this car dealership and these customers are speaking in their own language and I always just told people how I felt. And I was like, you mind speaking English? I'm right here, okay? He's like, we are speaking in our language. And I said, yeah, but I'm right here. They just, the internet went crazy about this racist car salesman and they hated me. This TikTok went so, and it was at a different dealership. I was the manager at this time. Wow. And some big influencer with millions of followers got on the page at this Toyota store where I worked and said, this is 2021, and said, you have a racist car salesman there. The video was done years ago at another dealership. And then this one in Vegas.

Who was the influencer that did it?

I'll never remember her name. It was just some girl that had millions of followers got on the Facebook page of my dealership and tried to get me fired for that. So I pulled it down, but I had seen the excitement. But

it was negative though, right?

It was a negative. Yeah, it was all negative.

But it still felt exciting?

Well,

like, tell me about that.

I hated arguing with people that I'm not— I'm, I'm the farthest thing from racist, you know? So I was— I wanted to argue with them, but the whole— they didn't know me yet. The internet didn't know me. They didn't know who I was. They just saw this video where I'm telling some customers to speak English, you know, because they were whispering in their language right in front of me, and I'm the car salesman sitting right in front of And so, I mean, I shouldn't have said it or whatever.

Well, I don't know. I mean, some of it could be a level of like, I want to— if you feel like you're being excluded or something, I think, you know, and I don't think it even matters really, but it wasn't positive, but it still felt exciting.

I guess I just saw that platform. I was— I don't know. You're right. I don't know if it— I don't know.

Like, I'm just curious as to, you know what I'm saying?

Well, it was still funny to the people that weren't offended. Okay. You know, it was a funny video and people still think it's funny. It's hilarious. But another one, I— in Vegas, I walk up on these guys cutting bike locks off, stealing. And my whole idea with Hamchek was he's this idiot that just goes up to people in weird situations. And I was like, hey guys. And they're like— they're like cutting this bike lock off, 2 dudes stealing bikes in Vegas. I'm like, hey guys, what are you up to? And they're like, get that motherfucking camera out of my face, bitch. And so that video went viral for all the wrong reasons also. Yeah. Because I— walked up on some thieves stealing a bike. And it was— so it didn't— I didn't get to use my humor till the Juice for Milk video, the one that most people know. It's the Home Depot one where that, um, it's literally still my number one video, my favorite video. It's still my favorite.

It's your favorite one?

Yeah. And it is because I finally got to use my humor in something that wasn't hateful online.

Got it. Let's see.

We've been trying to get a hold of you, but the machine down at the office is broken right now.

Wrong guy. Er, Justin?

Yeah, yeah, hey dude, I wonder what

happened to you,

man. Bro, it's been rough, man. I ain't seen you forever.

Yeah, um,

and you don't know this guy.

Excuse me, sir.

The, uh, the drywall deal in Newark,

dude. Yeah,

you still need that done, or—

well, You know

what, I didn't know what happened, man. I figured Brian would contact me. Brian's always got my number.

Well, dude, that guy kept fucking with me. Oh, and I got a— I had to put him away. I had to put him out. So yeah, I got a big lawsuit going on right now.

Oh, was that your property?

I hit him with a hammer, you know. I got, I got pissed off.

Oh shit.

Yeah, I hit him upside the head with a hammer. He was out for 3 and a half hours, man.

Oh,

but he He deserved it, you know?

Yeah, he just on you, fucking riding you and shit.

Riding me, dude. I wasn't gonna take it.

Crazy, dude.

This guy's a legend.

I'm a little worried about what's gonna happen. You ever done time?

Uh, I did a little bit of time.

I did too. Yeah, yeah, I did it before. I'm not looking forward to going back. This shit, the fucking food sucks, you know?

But dude, I ain't been to the— yeah, the workhouse. That's it.

Oh dude, yeah, me too. Yeah, we call it Gladiator tanks, you know.

Juice for milk.

Yeah, dude, but you should have seen it, man. Sorry. Oh shit, it was one of them.

Oh, because you trade shit in there?

Yeah, that's where that whole juice for milk came from. And we both were familiar with the workhouse in Columbus, Ohio, so it's a horrible place to be. It was what I was telling you about earlier. Yeah, but everyone's trading trays and, you know, And I lost a lot of shit, and I lost a lot of poker. It was spades. I lost like—

In jail?

Yeah, I was gambling in jail. I was losing my tray every day. I wouldn't eat for 2 days sometimes 'cause I lost to these guys that were probably cheating.

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah.

But that guy is a legend, dude. And later I say— he said, man, I've been saying that all for 6 months, that I wanna hit somebody in the head with a hammer, you know? And that guy was so great. And as he walked away that night, I'll never forget, forget. I was like, man, get that guy's contact, you know? And I've never been able to find him again, you know? Wow. Like, I see a lot of these people many times after, but that was my favorite prank because it was funny. It wasn't negative, you know? Yeah. Yeah. It's still one of my top favorites.

Do some of them get kind of uncomfortable? Like, have you been in some uncomfortable situations?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I, uh— one time, I was surrounded by 20 gang members in Columbus, Ohio, and they made me— they wanted to kill me. One dude kept coming up behind me with a knife, and my buddy was, like, yelling for me to watch out, and I kept turning around at the last second. So, I apparently videotaped this gangster that was out on parole, and he couldn't be on camera. So, these girls were like, hey, you can't record us! And I smarted off to 'em. And then I was like, boom, it was 10 girls and 10 dudes. The girls were, they were like, they looked like Ninja Turtles, man. They had white tank tops on and they were ready to kill me. And, uh—

Like fucking Jabberwockies or something, huh?

Something like that. Yeah, man. They were ready to kill me. And I got lucky and got outta that situation. That was the first time I learned about double deleting on my phone. I didn't know that you had to delete it twice to make it go away.

They made you do it?

Yeah, right in front of them. And one dude kept me from getting killed by the others. It was— that was an intense situation. Was that the scariest? My 2 buddies that were with me, we can all fight. We love fighting. But 20 of them, and 3 times a dude came up behind me trying to stab me, bro. And I just turned around at the last minute. And my buddies were tripping on acid, dude. They could not— I could not believe that they were going through this tripping.

Why did they want to do acid if y'all were getting attacked or whatever?

We met up that night. They didn't take it as soon as they started getting attacked.

Oh, they didn't know?

No, they were tripping already. And then we were walking down the street and I just made this video and caught these people. So I wasn't tripping, but they were. And I could not believe it that they went through that while tripping. 'Cause we were all able to handle ourselves, but it was a bad situation. But I'll never forget turning around and almost seeing myself get stabbed like 3 times. That wasn't even a prank. I was just making a street video, which I do sometimes. I'll just record like the, you know, just visuals and I'll throw music to it. But yeah. Um, and there's a lot of pranks. I'll catch couples cheating and they'll tell me in my DMs to please take it down, you know? And it's like, yeah, there's, there's a lot of interesting things over the years, you know?

What's another, uh, of your favorite stories from pranking?

Favorite stories is probably, I lived in this high-rise building downtown Columbus when I ended up getting divorced in 2023. And that was kind of where Johnny Hamcheck became really popular. It was like late '22, '23. But I had this neighbor who worked at the prosecutor's office. He was an attorney or something. And I went live. On TikTok that night, and it was like 1 in the morning and I was playing my own music and he comes over and he pounds on the door. And I was like, I think I hear something. I was like live in front of all the people. And

you weren't in disguise?

No, no, no, no. I don't— when I do live, I just show POV still. Okay. Not at that time, but it was my neighbor and he became— he comes over, he's like, I can't sleep. I can't sleep. And I was like, what do you mean? He's like, the bass, the bass is pounding through the walls. And I was like, it's not me. And he's like, it's like 1:30 in the morning. It had to be me. Kevin— Oh, there he is.

There he is.

So I took him a grapefruit to make peace. And the smile that he has when I— he says, I'll buy you these headphones. And I was like, would you? 'Cause there's a pair at Radio Shack I've really been wanting. And Radio Shack doesn't even exist, but he's like, how much are they? And I was like, $500. You want to play that?

Let's just play it. Yeah.

Yes.

Look, if you'd like, for the TV, if you need headphones for it, I'll buy them.

How much are you— I don't want you to have to do that, but there's a really— I mean, there's a really nice pair at the Radio Shack that I've been trying to get. They're like— I think it's like $500. $500? Yeah, Radio Shack brand. I brought this as a peace offering, Kevin. I just don't want to have any trouble, man. You guys are really nice, and I know, but we're just—

I, I realize your schedule's gonna be different during the summer. I know that, but it's just been, it's just been brutal last 3 months.

And what type of music are you playing?

I make beats and I do, I've been doing, I mean, I was in a rock band for years and then, but I got into making beats in 2006 and—

And were you using too at the time?

Um, you know, it depends. My life has been in and out of rehab like forever.

'Cause a lot of times people that are making beats are using.

Yeah. No, but my best stuff came when I was fresh outta rehab, man. I had all this energy. And yeah, so—

oh, that rehab fire, bro.

Dude, I'm telling you, man, there's nothing like it. I mean, so grateful.

Yeah, sometimes you'll go to do 30 days in rehab just to get that, that 7 hours of feeling like you can make anything happen.

You do. Like, it's, it's a shame, but you feel— it's called a pink cloud is what they call it, and it's real. Because this past time when I just quit smoking weed and drinking a few months ago, almost 3 months, and And I mean, I was on a pink cloud for a while and then life just hits you and every day is not as glorious as it was. But

somebody spray paints fuck it or whatever on your Ford Taurus and then shit starts getting shaky again.

Yeah. Yeah, man.

Story of my life.

You still drive that Taurus?

It got repossessed.

Damn.

Not by the police, but I had a neighbor that was like a séance or whatever. Whatever. But she, uh, she put like a spell on her— fucking spell on it. And that— and dude, it worked, bro. She put a spell on that bitch, dude, or a hex or whatever it's called, like an unpositive spell. And bro, that bitch shut down, bro. And it would shut down. I think she probably had like a replica of it at home and she would put a pin in it or whatever. Like she had one of those, uh, what's it called?

Voodoo dolls.

Like a voodoo car doll. Yeah. Yeah,

that's a great idea.

She had a voodoo car, dude, and every time she'd put a pin in that shit, it would shut down, bro. Dude, that reminds me of my dad, bro. When we were kids, the hood on his car weighed, I think, almost 17,000 million pounds, right? So we'd open that thing up and he would just get in there and the engine would be— everything would be spinning. He had like fan belts hooked to everything, the radio, everything, dude. And, uh, he would get under there and just spray WD-40 under the whole thing like this, bro, to spray it, really keep it going, bro.

Dude, did you, uh, do you guys have nice cars when you were young?

No, no, no, no. My mom had a Dodge Neon. I'd go sleep in it at night, it was so nice. Pull it up. It was purple, semi-purple.

Dodge Neon?

Yeah, remember them?

Oh, hell yeah.

They were nice.

I sold tons of those, man.

Yeah, pull that bottom left one right there.

Oh my gosh.

Mom got that bitch. I'd go sit in and put the seat down and I'd sleep in that bitch at night. It was nicer than being in our house.

Are you serious?

In our apartment, yeah.

Yeah,

damn, that bitch was so nice, and it had like multicolored fabric on the seats or whatever. It was nice.

Yeah, I remember those. I mean, I sold cars since '94, '95, so I haven't heard the Neon— I haven't heard the Dodge Neon forever, man.

They got discontinued. I think they were flammable. I don't know if that's true, but they were pretty semi-flammable.

They were catching on fire for a while.

Yeah, and people were like, that's for God or whatever, and I was like, I don't think— that has nothing to do with God or whatever.

God's lighting them up.

Yeah, God's just— yeah.

He should burn a lot of other cars too then. My dad brought home an Eagle Premier, man.

Really?

And he bought it without my mom. And I know how that is. Like—

When a man goes and buys a car without the wife, that's— Yeah. Yeah.

The crazy story is I broke the antenna off right that night, man. He was so pissed. What were you doing? I was just playing, you know? And it was one of those— and he beat my ass after that. I'll never forget. But Um, it had power windows. I'll never forget the first car with power windows. You know, we thought we were doing something, man.

Oh, my dream in life was to have a sunroof.

Uh-huh. Yeah, it's so funny, dude. Oh, thousands on the stupidest things, like minivans with sunroofs. Like, people are just— you're so cool driving down the road and with the $5,000 extra.

Um, what's the biggest racket in auto— in auto sales? What's like one of the biggest rackets?

Oh man, it's the warranties on the back and the finance office. 100%. You don't need them on a lot of cars. And then a lot of them that they sell, I mean, they don't really cover it when something happens. So it's a big thing in the car business. That's where you make all your money at though. On the warranty? Yeah, on the warranty. Yeah.

And what about that rubberizing? They used to rubberize the bottom or whatever.

Yeah, the clear— what was it called? Clear coat. Yeah, they had a Z-bar and shit, right? Yeah, they called it Z-barred or under— yeah, undercoating. I don't know, that was— I think that was more in the '80s and shit, to be honest. I think they started putting that shit on everything.

They'll clear coat your fucking cousin in that bitch for $30, bro. Yeah,

they light the hood on fire and shit nowadays, man.

The Asians, bro, would do that when I was in college. They'd light the hood on fire and drive real fast.

Really?

Yeah.

No way.

Yeah,

it sounds awesome, especially if you're tripping.

It was like a crispy rice rocket or whatever it was called.

Really?

Yeah, pretty cool, pretty cool shit,

dude. That reminds me of, uh, when I was in DC. I was— you ever seen the show The Wire?

Oh yeah, that Baltimore show or whatever?

Yeah, yeah, it was about the dope the dope game in Maryland, I think. And I was— when I was doing good in Washington, D.C. for a while, and then when I relapsed, man, I was going into the most dangerous ghettos in the country. This is back when D.C.— this is 2002, but— Mm-hmm. I have a dope dealer in my car, and here comes this cop cruising slow, and the dope dealer would be like, put your seat back. So we'd both put our seats all the way back, like there's no seats in the car, We just closed our eyes while the cop went real slow. So he's just looking at a car like, no seats in that one. Everything looks normal here. And it worked, but they were used to it. They're like, put your seat back!

So both seats are all the way back. You don't see any of the headrests.

Yeah, no headrests at all. And I just thought that was the craziest shit, man.

I love that shit, dude. God.

No, that was nuts 'cause it was just like the show The Wire. I'd walk up in sandals, dude. And I'm a mark just waiting to get killed.

And were you pranking or were you scoring dope?

No, no, this was— I was just trying to buy dope, man.

What were you on at that time? What were you using?

So I was a heroin addict and then I was trying to find heroin and I couldn't find heroin. And I was like, gimme the next best thing. And I started smoking crack in DC, man. I'm there. Crypto? Crypto crack. Yeah, it was just crypto. I started smoking crypto in DC. Damn. And yeah, man.

You did. So, and it was one night you were trying to buy heroin, you couldn't find it.

Yeah.

And you settled for some crack.

Yeah.

I always wanted to smoke crack, man. What is it like?

Well, I could never do it without heroin. It's an explosive buzz. I hate speed buzzes really myself. I like to be relaxed. Youoids, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

That's why I liked opiates. That's why I liked dope. But when you combine the two, it's just an explosive buzz. I used to dial 911 on my phone, man, and have it ready, thinking that if I start dying, I can still hit the button. You know? Like, I swear. I mean, 'cause I used alone, you know, in the garage, you know? I mean, my wife would go to work, I'd be off, dude. I mean, addiction took me some really low places. Damn. But we don't have to get into that. I mean, I don't care. I'm cool with talking about it all, but

Were you ever using and also in between times when you were filming? Were both things happening in your life at the same time? You ever get so high you thought you were filming somebody? Or you get fucking confused that you don't even know who's being pranked or what's going on?

I relapsed after 13 years sober. I had a surgery and ended up taking painkillers again. And this was while I was Hamchek. This was while In 2023, in kind of the prime of Ham Check, I, uh, I started getting strung out again, you know. And I was, I was, I was out there pranking, um, on high on, you know, on pills that were laced with fentanyl and shit, you know. And, uh—

We ever doze off during a prank or whatever?

I don't remember specifically, but dude, I did doze off. I hit my head on the counter like so many times. That shit was so stupid.

What counter? What are you talking about?

So I'd have my plate, I'd have my plate up in the cabinet. That shit was so powerful that just a grain, like I'd buy $50 worth of that stuff and—

Of what, of fentanyl?

Of fentanyl, yeah. And it would be white powder and I would, just the tiniest little speck would get me high for all day because I had been clean for 13 years. And Uh, but you, you end up falling, falling, falling over. So I'd have the cabinet door open and, and then you just like, you start, you just fall and I'd hit my head on the sharp part of the cabinet. Um, and I'd wear a toboggan to work, you know, like, and pull it down.

Like a snow hat?

Yeah. Even in the summer.

'Cause you had fucking—

Yeah. 'Cause I had a gash, dude. 'Cause you had fentanyl hit from the cabinets? I used to get hiccups too. And my girlfriend, my girlfriend would always bust me out 'cause I had hiccups, but a lot of videos—

Oh, you mean fentanyl give you hiccups?

Yeah, for some reason it gives you hiccups and it was funny. So there's some videos where I got hiccups. I'm like, oh man, I remember those days. But yeah, I did a lot of pranks while high, but I'll tell you what, when I went from no drugs or alcohol to smoking weed, again, because the first step for me going down the bad road was I started— allowed myself to smoke weed again. And, um, and I was laughing at my videos. I was like, oh my gosh, this is— now I realize, you know, all these stoners are laughing at my videos. It is kind of funny to watch them high, you know. But I couldn't make them high because you're— I'm paranoid, you know. I'm like, they see the camera. I'm like, I'm killing all these pranks halfway through the prank. Of course. Because I was thinking that they saw the camera and I just would hesitate. I couldn't make good videos. Everything went downhill when I started smoking weed and drinking again, because the best stuff that Hamcheck did was during my 13 years of sobriety. And I'm way sharper now. You can think on your feet a little bit better.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's your God-given abilities, man, to be able to— those are really your best ones.

Yeah, all that— all the drugs did was give you bigger, like even bigger balls than I already had to just infiltrate some crazy scenarios because I was numb, you know? Like, but one time I pranked this, um, guy in Columbus and, uh, he harassed my brother in North Carolina, like started all these death threats, like, um, That was a crazy story because my brother called me in the morning and I did these pranks where I'd ask people how long it's been or at what point in their life did everything go downhill and they became homeless here in Columbus.

Yes, I've seen those. Yeah.

But I never actually talk to homeless people. I talk to people that are obviously not homeless. This guy, he's this real short dude with this girl who ended up being some Playboy OnlyFans model. And he sets himself up for the interview and shows off his watch and he makes this stance and he's ready. And I hit him with the homeless thing and he's like— He's like, me? But they got so offended that they looked up my name and then they found my brother's name who I followed, my older brother, and they started harassing him, like threatening my brother. And that, that, that was, that was when Ham Checking leaked into my personal life. And I was like, I mean, it's still very touchy, you know? I don't like embarrassing people. And I know that sometimes I've put people's family on the internet and shit. It's not, it's not always cracked up to be, I tell you.

Yeah, that seems like the tough part. Did you— are there any videos that were really great pranks, but you decided not to put them up because it was just too much?

Well, yeah, there's one in particular where I'm asking this guy my normal prank. It's like in the middle of the night, it's like 1 or 2 in the morning in Columbus, Ohio. And I ask people for small favors, you know, and I asked him to help me get some Jordans down off a power line, you know? And he says, he says, no, but I'll give you a blowjob. You know, he's like, I got nothing but a mouth, buddy.

That's what he said?

Yeah. Yeah. He said, He, he literally—

The old bird feeder.

He offered, he offered to, um, give me a blowjob like 4 times in one video. And—

Oh yeah.

And it was a really funny video and it was going— it went viral. And then I got emails saying, hey man, take this off the internet, you know, I'm gonna sue you. And I, I never pay attention to those. I get those a lot, you know. Um, but I do have a heart and I, I I started looking at the guy's social media and I saw pictures of him and his mom and I was like, man, this poor lady has to know that her son's out there in the middle of the night asking people if he can blow them, you know, which is just a strange thing to do, to ask a stranger, you know.

Yeah, yeah, I think it is. I mean, well, I think some people, they call it like, I think in the gay culture or whatever, it's, they call it bird feeding or whatever because My buddy's brother's gay, and he's been gay for a pretty good amount of time, I think. It seems like anyway. And he, uh, for Halloween, him and his buddies always paint— get dressed up like bird feeders. They turn themselves into like— they'll get like, like kind of like a wood thing put on their head with their face, and it's like got a little thing where the bird can land. It's like, you know, they make themselves bird feeders. They look like birdhouses.

Because the bird always has their mouth open.

Oh, birdhouses, bro. They look like birdhouses. Yeah, so your bird can land in there.

Oh wow.

So that's how they do it. So I think it's part of that culture is being out at night looking for those night birds or whatever, maybe. I don't know. But,

um, yeah, that's—

but damn, dude. Yeah, that's— so the guy was offering you a couple blowjobs out there at night?

Yeah. And the video was very entertaining, but I felt a little bit bad.

Yeah.

And then, so I would take it— I would take it down, and then I'd get— things would get slow on the channel, and I would I would say, well, we call it— the video was called BJ Balboni, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course. And, uh, things would get slow on the Ham Check channel, and I'd be, I'd be like, man, I need some action. I need to grow these followers, man. I need, I need a viral video. So I'd, in my head, I was like, release BJ Balboni. And, and every time I'd play it, it would go viral. And then he would email me again and say, hey man, I just started I started this new job and everyone's coming up to me saying that they saw me on the internet.

It is— I mean—

People see themselves a lot on the internet.

Yeah.

On TV.

Yeah, I mean, 'cause some of it's kind of exploitative. Do you feel like that? I mean, do you feel like— what does that feel like?

I don't— I look at myself like more of a journalist sometimes because I catch a lot of things happening, you know? That I just happen to run into. And, but I do, I don't, I don't always like it. It's not, it's definitely not that easy to do. 'Cause I, I have a really soft heart and I don't like hurting people's feelings. So I try to avoid that. It's hard to find, to walk the line of, um, funny without— That's why the, the, the construction pranks are so They're popular and they're very harmless. Most of the construction bosses love it, and they're waiting to get pranked by Hamchek with the chains, you know. I've had a lot of those.

With the 6-inch chains or the 6-foot chains?

It started with 6.5-inch cables in the early days, and then it evolved to chains, you know. And, and, uh, yeah, it's now 6.5-foot chains.

Has there been videos that you didn't put out that you're just like, oh, this is too— something's too wrong with this,

or Yeah, I have, I have a whole bunch of them. Um, I was in this one night, I got this hotel. It was late at night and I was at the casino gambling all night. And, uh, so I just booked this hotel in the worst part of town. I didn't mean to. $50 hotel or something, bro. So I hear this baby. Oh, it's the biggest cockroach hotel ever, man. This is a video I want to play one day. I'll save these videos for like certain times, but—

For your wedding or whatever.

Yeah, at the wedding, I'll probably play this one because there's a baby crying all night. And I heard this baby screaming and I finally looked out the door like in the morning. And it was this little Black baby that looked just like Buckwheat, you know? And he was locked outside of this hotel room, man. all night long.

You think he forgot his— not his keys or whatever.

Those keys never work, you know? That's probably the situation.

Probably true, dude.

Dude, how many times you get up to your hotel and those damn keys don't work and you got all your shit, dude? I get so pissed, bro. And this—

And he was just out there all night?

His mom left. His mom left him. And I— and so the video is crazy because this crackhead lady comes into my room and I'm doing all this prank on her. She's telling me all about the mom that leaves her kid kid all the time. And it was the saddest situation. And then I ended up having to yell at the hotel lady because she wouldn't call the police. And the mom came back and I gave her a hard time. I got it all on video. Yeah. But I recently got pulled over and arrested for smoking a joint in Pennsylvania. This was last year. I'm still on probation. in Pennsylvania, but I pranked the cops while I was doing my sobriety test.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Did they know it was you?

No. Um, and I've been waiting to release that footage, but I know everyone's going to get the body cam footage once they see and once I say this right now. But it's still funny as hell because they're telling me to hold my foot up like 3 and a half. I'm like, can I, can I hold it 6 and a half inches? I was like, does Officer Balboni still work here? And I literally got my phone back from I got arrested, but I got all this funny footage of fucking with them while I'm doing my sobriety test. They're like, how much weed's in the car? I'm like, 2.83 grams. I just bought it at the dispensary. I knew exactly how much I had in the car, you know? But it was funny that I was sneaky enough to get all this footage of them while they were making me do all the impossible tests, by the way, that nobody is gonna be able to pass.

Yeah, some of it's like, admit your grandfather's dead. a fuckhead or whatever, and you're like, what,

dude? How did that become a question?

Yeah, dude, we don't even know,

dude.

We don't even know for sure. That's— it's like, yeah, some of this shit is crazy, bro.

It's impossible.

It's like, yeah, name 7 Black guys you're brave enough to tickle or whatever, and you're like, how can you even do that? Some of the ques— it's like impossible, dude.

It is, dude.

You know, name 6 friends of yours your mom would smash if you fucking left her home for the weekend. You know, be like, what? Who are they?

Roger. Yeah. Mike. Yeah.

Damien.

Oh yeah, of course.

Um, have you faced any lawsuits? Have you faced any actual lawsuits?

Um, fake, just fake ones, you know, like people send, um, emails, but I ignore 'em and they go away, you know, just like the bills, you know. I mean, I have, yeah, people, I always look and consider, okay, so this pastor, this is a funny one. This pastor flips me off, man. It's called the Jaywalking Pastor. I didn't know he was a pastor till his whole congregation begged me to take it off the internet. He made a public apology for this video. Wow. And I was like, no, if that's the worst thing you get caught doing in life was flipping me off. So he gets real mad. I said, I saw you jaywalking. And he's on the phone and I'm like, you're jaywalking, man. I saw you do it. And he's like,

nah.

He gave me the most angry bird ever. And it goes viral every time I post it. The

Angry Bird of Christ or whatever?

Basically. But I just couldn't believe how that's not a big deal, bro. If that's the worst thing that they put on the internet of me is flipping somebody off, I'm like, hell yeah.

Angry Jay walking past her throwback. Let me see it.

It was a good one because the congregation begged me to take it off, but I don't take off ones like this.

Sir, you're jaywalking. I just saw you. You did it 3 times. Oh, sir, how dare you! Come over here right now. I want to have a word with you, buddy.

Does he come back over?

No, but I always like to talk to people about what they've said or done. Then I get on a bus and make another little clip. I said, did you see what happened to that guy? But I will follow a lady that flipped me off 2 hours away to her job and just ask her why she's so miserable. Like, I am the crazy guy that will have a conversation about your act— your craziness, you know? Yeah. I just love to— make people explain themselves, you know?

Yeah. Is that what it is? What is it about the pranking? Like, what is it that you get out of it? What is it that you're trying— like, you just said, like, I want people to explain themselves, right? Like, yeah, I'm just— I'm curious about what that is, because it's hard sometimes to joke with people. It's hard to keep a straight face. It's hard to keep an energy of a prank, right? It's really tough.

I'm— yeah, to answer your question, I just like watching humans in action. Like, that's my biggest thing is just watching the crazy things that humans do, you know? So I like watching their reactions. As far as calling people out on stuff, like, I'm going to ask the lady that sat me right next to this loud table When there's 80, you know, I, I, but I will just ask people, I don't want to punish them or anything, but I want to, I want them to realize that it was stupid what they just did, you know? And I want to ask like why they did it. Why are you so miserable? You know, and somebody's cussing you out in traffic or something, you know, I just like to pull up. This guy had a gun pointed at me. Okay. I thought it was his phone. It was a road rage situation. Yeah. And he was cussing me out, flipping me off. So I got my camera out and I started filming the early part of him cussing me out, cussing me out. And then I followed him. He pulls into this parking lot. I'm thinking I'm gonna be recorded.

I know the guy's gonna get his phone out. So I put, I put this hat on and shades and I put the 6.5-foot chains around my neck and I walk up to his car. And I'm recording and I'm like, dude, I'm like, you think— I said, why don't you say that to me now? I was like, what were you saying back there? And I walk up closer and I think he's holding his phone, but he has a gun pointed right up at the window. I never touch people or invade their space, but man, that was a crazy situation. Yeah. So I was just calling him out. He pulled into a parking lot and I just walked up to his window. So making a— everything's making a video, you know, like, and that's, that's, that's ridiculous too. I'm recording too much, man. I gotta, I gotta take a break.

If you're going that far where you're pushing things to the edge of like that, somebody's actually pointing a gun at you.

Yeah.

And you're still right there. Did you keep talking?

I said, are you— you're actually pointing— yeah, the video is pretty funny because I was like, you're pointing a gun at me on this beautiful day? I was like, get out of the car and give me a hug, buddy. I was like, you need a hug. So I kept going, although I was high for like 2 days realizing that I almost got shot in the face. If I was an idiot that touched people, I don't ever do that. I mean, I'm not ever going to invade somebody, touch somebody. I don't ever do that.

But that's wild to think that a few years ago, if you'd have said, hey, will you keep pranking somebody if they have a gun out? You probably would've said no. And then here you are at that space doing it.

I knew it would make the video better, so I kept talking to him. I wasn't afraid, but later on I realized that if I was dumb enough to have touched that guy or gotten closer—

here he is.

You don't know.

Look, you've now hit me 3 times.

No, I didn't. I knew what I was doing. You got a gun? You're threatening me with a gun right now?

I'm not threatening you with anything. You're holding a gun, sir. You're the one that followed me.

I asked you if you wanted a hug.

I don't need a hug.

You have a gun right now.

I don't need a hug. Just move on,

buddy. Let me give you a hug. No,

move on. People like— people are so disconnected now. Uh,

dude, the world's a mess right now, bro.

But do you think you're helping it here, or do you think there are people doing— how are you fucking—

No, but he did deserve— all I did was I was behind, I was just riding his bumper, and the guy went crazy at the beginning saying Fuck you! Just effing me, flipping me off for barely getting close to his car. I didn't even touch his car.

Yeah, I mean, if it was your car, it'd be a lot.

But it was because I was distracted looking at my phone and almost hit him, and he saw it. You know how you almost hit somebody over and over again? Dude, I'm telling you, man, I'm going to take a break from all this stuff. It's been, it's been a long journey, and it's exciting to, uh, say that I'm gonna do something different now, you know.

What's the toughest part of the country to prank in? Do you feel like—

New York is tough, man. They've seen it all, and they're not having my shit. I've still gotten some videos there. Um, the first Balboni Ben video was in Central Park. Um, New York is tough though. I get spit out pretty So it's always a challenge in places like that. Um, LA's kind of like that, but I do pretty— I do pretty well. It's these towns in the middle of nowhere. The guy's got cows and horses, and, you know, you want to find some small towns in the middle of nowhere. That's, that's where I find the best stuff, you know.

Well, you feel like people have patience there. They have time.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, people got time for you, you know. It's the thing that makes small towns great too.

Yeah.

Is that people have time for you. You.

Um, they're chill, they're laid back, and they'll give everyone the time of day. You're right, they'll listen to some stupidity shit, you know.

Is there— are there some places you cannot prank because there are laws against it?

Well, apparently. Have you ever heard of the one-party consent, two-party consent?

Yeah.

How stupid is the rule one-party consent? So one p— one person in the conversation has the consent to praying.

A one-party consent law means that you can legally record a conversation such as a phone call or in-person talk as long as at least one person involved in the conversation gives permission. If you are part of the conversation, you can record it without telling the other person.

You gave yourself consent, basically.

So what, just so as long— so you could be doing it, they don't know, it's okay, right?

Yeah. Yeah, uh, but out in California, like, um, apparently it's a 2-party state, I think. Um, so

you generally must be a participant in the conversation to record it under one-party rules. So I couldn't record 2 other people having a conversation secretly. Secret— yeah, here it says secretly recording a conversation that you are not a part of is usually illegal. If you're calling someone in a different state, the strictest law Applies if you call someone in an all-party, which is 2-party consent state. From a one-party state, you typically need permission from all parties.

I will say I'm banned from all the urology places in Columbus. I pranked my doctor about the ball dropping surgery, and it brings up a good topic because I was unsure if I was able to record these these real doctor's appointments, but apparently you are. The bigwigs called me and asked me to take down these doctor's appointment videos that were some of the funniest shit ever. So this was my regular doctor that I went to, urologist. And being on testosterone as I got older, the doctor told me, you've done hard drugs your whole life. You need to be on testosterone.

Yeah, your bag's cooked or whatever.

Well, yeah, and I was concerned about my balls getting smaller, you know? And so I was sitting there, I just had the idea that I'm gonna ask him to lower my balls for me, you know, during my actual doctor's visit. So it was my real doctor. People think, man, you're crazy, you go and set up doctor's appointments to make pranks. And I was like, no, I just prank while I'm at my doctor. So I pranked this doctor so many times. The very last one, this is the compilation, I think, is this the very last one? He said, there's one that shows them all because I pranked him over and over again. But at the last one, he goes, can you put your phone down for a second? And he says, are you the one that put me on TikTok? But it was after, and I I, I got banned from a lot of, uh,

urology clinics.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But

type shit.

Once again, I want to talk to him about seeing if he can get my balls to hang lower because I've been asking him for months and I want my balls to hang lower, you know, because I don't feel like they hang low like they used to. And all my buddies' balls hang like way lower than mine.

Okay, what brings you in today?

Well, I mean, I've been I've been talking to you for a while about this, and I don't know what I gotta do to get you to help me with it, but I really want my balls to hang lower like they used to. You know, my— you know, remember, there's gotta be a way you can drop them down a little bit, right?

Okay, okay.

Because my buddies, their balls hang a lot lower than mine, and

And this is

an Asian doctor. That you can give me, I'm pretty sure.

I had never seen him till the last—

Can you feel your balls?

Barely.

Let's take a look.

Is there any way I could get my balls lowered? I heard that people are doing that now. Uh, I don't know. I've not heard that surgery. Um, some of my buddies His balls hang a lot lower than mine, you know, and I just want to make sure that, you know, we're all on the same page.

It's my general practice.

Some people have larger scrotums, longer scrotums, and so it allows for the balls, the testicles, to come down further. And then some people don't have as low, don't have as kind of loose of a scrotum.

It's supposed to be what I got, yeah.

Yeah, so, and everybody's different, and there's no right way or wrong way.

Hey, hey, hey! Oh, hey! Hey, how are you, Doc? Hey, sorry to interrupt you. Oh my gosh, geez.

You're tired?

A little bit.

Okay.

Ah, nice fresh blend you got there. Okay. I'm still trying to get my balls lowered, you know? Like, I'm trying to get them dropped a couple inches, you know? Like we were talking about last time.

Okay.

Remember?

Yeah.

You said you might be able to lower them a little bit.

Let's take a look.

Okay. Here's the thing, maybe I could get them smoothed out because some of my buddies' balls are a little bit smoother than mine. I have a lot of wrinkles.

Let me take a look.

Okay, but remember I talked to you about the lowering my balls a little bit?

Can you put the phone down? Yeah. Are you the one

that put me on TikTok? Wow.

Oh, what did he say? Was he hurt by it?

Yeah. Oh yeah. He said, are you the one that put me on TikTok? And I denied it, of course, and got through the appointment. But they called me up, the like CEO, and, and I got a letter in the mail saying I can't go to any of the OhioHealth or whatever But the funniest part about the first one, when I quit recording, he says, the first thing I want to tell you is stop looking at your buddy's balls. And I was like, man, if I would've got that. I just didn't get that. But I tell the story. It was the funniest shit ever.

And did you have to show him your balls actually sometimes too?

Yeah, but it's part of the deal. I mean, I show my balls to the doctor, you know?

Yeah, I don't care.

And I never got an extra appointment for a video. Yeah. I just went to my appointments.

Natural appointments.

Yeah, and then kept making videos at the appointments.

And then it's balling out, dude. Um, in the United States, recording laws are divided into 2-party consent states, where every participant must consent to being recorded, and a 1-party consent state, where only 1 participant needs to agree. In these states, you generally need the consent of every person involved in a private conversation or phone call to record it legally. California, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Illinois, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Washington.

Those are two-party?

Those are two-party.

Oh shit, I'm breaking some laws out there.

Yeah. One-party consent states: Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, Colorado, Tennessee is on there, Idaho, Hawaii, Indiana, Georgia, DC, Louisiana, Maine, Minnesota, Mississippi, Wow.

Ohio's gotta be down there. Yep, there it is. There it is.

The Dakotas. And there's others too. All the rest of them we didn't name in the 2-party, huh?

I just find it funny. One party. I mean, come on. One person of the 2, and it's the one recording.

Yeah.

Giving yourself consent. It's stupid.

Yeah. How do you, how do you figure that out for yourself? Because it is kind of like, I mean, if something really hurts somebody's feelings, would you Do you feel okay leaving it up? Like, yeah, what is your— I guess, what do you feel about it?

I'm just doing it Wild West style, man. I mean, I'm waiting for trouble and I know that it's coming. You know, I'm just used to— I mean—

Like, what do you mean it's coming or whatever?

Well, if somebody's upset, I consider— I take it into consideration, you know, um, like I pranked this transgender therapist in Columbus, Ohio. I did. I told her that her dogs weren't picking up the poop, and she went crazy on me and yelled at me and then made all these TikTok videos about me. But she never once asked me to take it down. If she would've asked me to take it down, I would've. I didn't want to embarrass her or whatever. She's like, That was a very controversial video. I quit looking at the internet for a while because I had a whole group of people sending me death threats and stuff like that.

Is there something about the stress of it about that, that you like that? That's what I'm wondering. It's interesting because dude, that sounds horrifying to me. Somebody's like, man, I hate that you dissed— this is messed up. You're taking her— or I don't like the way you're making Look, you know what I'm saying? Like, like, I don't know, even for myself, like one time I saw somebody had made a video. I was just walking by, like I was walking by a place I'd eaten at or something and somebody had made a video of me just walking by, right? And they're like, oh, I just saw Theo Von walk by. Looks like he's having the worst day ever, man. Hope he's okay. Right? That's what it said. And dude, that had been like 2 hours earlier in my day. I saw that on TikTok and I was having the best day.

Yeah.

And it was like, fuck, dude. But like, people are like, man, hope he's okay. Then people are like, man, hope he's not overdosing or something. First of all, I wouldn't be walking by with both of my shoes on or whatever and a hat if I was overdosing, probably. But it was just like all this shit. I'm like, what the fuck, dude? I'm having a nice day. And just 'cause some asshole wants to fucking put me like that, it makes me like— it didn't really bother me. It was just the inner inch. It was intriguing to me. Like, it made me like a little bit like, okay, well, people can kind of film you whenever, which I didn't really love, but it's like, um, I don't know. It was just like, fuck, I'm having a good day. And then I see this and I'm like, fuck.

I don't like it, Theo. I'll be honest. I mean, that's why I'm kind of— I wish I had something else to fall back on because like I said, you can't just keep doing this shit. I'm lucky I've gotten away with it and survived 5 years of doing this. But I, I really feel bad for people. I want everyone to not ever be like— I usually— people don't see what I do off the camera. I'll stop these people and tell them I was joking. I do not let somebody go away feeling like I just called them homeless because of what they wear. I just, I'm not the one that's going to show you when I give them money. You know, I hate when people post giving money away. Just, it just makes me sick, actually.

Yeah, that kind of stuff's very bizarre. This need to like be— I mean, I don't know, it's a need to be seen, right? But be seen doing something positive. Like, I certainly understand the need to be seen because, because I mean, that's what I do. I want to be seen.

When I was doing those standup shows, I would ask the audience as soon as I went out there, okay, how many of you literally have no idea what you were coming to see tonight? And every freaking hand went up. And I'm like, you guys, all you had to do is search a little bit harder and there's a million viral videos of people exposing me. Mm-hmm. Somebody did that to me. They posted me rapping at one of my shows I just found this 2 days ago.

So you do standup?

I was doing it. I was doing it. I was like, but dude, these standup places, they want you on stage at 7:30 and they kick my fans out at 9 and shit.

And I was like, I wanted to hang out with everybody. I was talking to every single person. I need like a 3-hour venue. I was having fun, but then I'm not a standup comedian. the end.

But I was doing music, I was showing unseen videos that nobody's gonna see on the internet, and then I was doing questions and answers. Yeah, my fans loved it, but you always get the one asshole that's gonna make negative comments and stuff. But

why'd you quit doing that?

Well, I—

or did you quit?

Um, I kind of— I— it wasn't worth the money, to be honest, man, and the exposure. Like, I was like, you know, sometimes I'd Like $1,500 or $2,000. And I got this crew I'm taking care of, and I'm traveling all over. And it was a great show with 100, 200 people there. And the bar's trying to give me $1,500, $2,500.

And I was just like, it wasn't worth it. Also, like, when people want to kill me, I'm telling you where to find me, you know? Like, so I was going to keep the lore going a little bit longer.

Oh, so you're almost on the run sometimes in a way.

Not really. I mean, but in a way, I don't like telling somebody where to find me when I do get death threats. You know, it's like, I'll be here at 7:30 on stage, so you bring your gun. I pranked these

Chicago police officers and they loved me. The captain messaged me and thanked me for showing light on his officers. And I was like, you guys can all come to my shows for free. You know, I want I want them, I want them in the audience, you know, whenever I can have some backup. But dude, I—

One video you did that was one of my favorites is the, like, uh, because some of them are like positive. I mean, it's all lighthearted, I feel like. I, I guess, but I mean, I guess I'm not the— or the ones that I've seen have all been like pretty just lighthearted kind of. It's just like, it feels like good fun. Um, the one where the— you brought the eggs to

McDonald's Yeah, I just took that off recently because she said her manager saw it. But

no, uh, dude, that was one of my— thank you— favorite videos, dude. He pulled up at, uh, McDonald's. Tell me what— yeah, just tell us what happened.

Yeah, so I was at a rest stop traveling, doing push-ups in the parking lot of McDonald's. I had these eggs that I had taken from my Airbnb and they were getting old, and it just, you know, it just came to me. I'm gonna walk through the drive-through line and ask her if she'll make these eggs for me. That was enough for the video. I didn't expect her to actually make them for me and all that.

Yeah.

And that video went crazy viral. She was loving all the attention.

I sent her, I sent her a couple hundred dollars. And then like just recently she's like, hey, this is random, but my manager saw that. I need you to take all the videos down. And I was just like, oh, and I did it. I took them down, but I'll put them back up when it's time to release the egg video again. It's almost like when things get slow, I'll be whipping out those eggs

again. Trust me. Because it's like, there was no harm in that. And if McDonald's is your main goal in life, because I was like, hey, if you get fired, I'll give you a job doing something else, you know. But, and the manager loved it. I had already told her manager, so I thought it

was really cool. But yeah, who knows what people are— I mean, like, I thought it was super cool.

I pranked an addict.

Here it is right here.

Oh wow, that's still on the internet. Wow.

Is it okay to play?

Oh yeah.

It says, brought my own eggs to the McD's drive-through in Florida.

Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry.

You scared me.

You just scared me. Would you mind doing me a small favor? Well, I was wondering if you could make me a couple Egg McMuffins with raw my own eggs. And what I mean, I don't have any way to fry them. I was going to use an iron, but I was just going to see if you could throw them on the grill. I don't even need the buns. I just—

Just need the eggs cooked?

Yeah. Okay. Are you serious? You're so sweet.

Um, I— we close in just a couple minutes. I'm gonna do it really fast.

I thought you You were just open.

We close and then we close for an hour, we do our deposits, and then we come back and open again.

Just if you can just make 6 of them scrambled and you can just throw the rest away. Nice Tacoma, you're loving that, aren't you?

Standing in line.

I'm a big Toyota fan myself. Girl, you better not get in trouble for this. Uh-uh. That's so nice of you. I don't need the whole $100, but okay, give me $70 back, please.

Okay.

Yeah, the internet killed me over that $100.

You should have gave her the $100.

I did inside, and then I gave her more later. It just—

Well, you can't make everybody happy.

Yeah, I didn't even have an extra— like, I didn't have it like that. I've never gotten ahead in life because of these videos. Like, people—

Well, dude, you're making these obviously for the IRS, dude, so that's obviously—

Everything is going directly directly deposited to them. Oh man, dude.

Oh, that's a— that was— that is probably the nicest girl right there. That's the sweetest girl.

Um, it was a good one, man. I love that idea that it got through. Yeah, it's funny.

One thing that you've done and that I like to do over the years too is I like to pick up hitchhikers, right? That's something that I've always really enjoyed, you know, just because it's a total— trying to think of what it is about Like, let me really think about it. There's something about like a weird thing of like fate or like just a roshambo with the universe. It's a gamble. There's something about it. And, uh, I'm trying— there was one I had, I picked up a guy. I think I was in Maui or something. I might be able to find that. Is that even still out there? I don't even know if it's still out there, but, um, oh, here we go. Chilling. Oh shit, boy. One of my favorite outdoor animals right here. Oh shit, what's up, player?

Hey man, how you doing?

Chilling, bro. Theo, man, what's your name?

Josiah.

How often do you hitch, bro?

I've been doing it every day for 5 years.

Dang, really?

Yeah.

That's awesome, bro. That's fucking Maui shit. That's dope, dude. I used to love picking up hitchhikers in the States, but they don't really let you do it anymore. You can barely even meet anybody.

Have you ever been picked up by anybody? Any weirdos? Uh, only a couple. Really? And it wasn't like anything like rapey or like, you know what I mean, like weird stuff like that. It was more like, I'm an alien, this is where I'm from.

Oh really?

Oh cool. Any killers or murderers? There is, but I've never been picked up by one.

There is?

Catch and release, baby. That's a wrap.

I let him go, bro. Catch and release. I don't kill, bro.

That's awesome, man. I didn't know you did that.

Oh, I've always loved it, dude. I'll tell you this, this is actually a good story I forgot about. or I'm not— I shouldn't tell you it's a good story because who the fuck knows if it is. People will decide. But I picked up a dude one time and he, uh, and I just asked him about hitching and what it was like for him and who he's getting picked up by. And he said, well, one of the craziest times he ever hitched a ride, he got into a guy's car and the guy just starts flooring it. He said the guy was on the run from the police, right? So next thing you know, he's getting— they're getting chased by the police for like 40 minutes, dude, on the interstate. There's a hitchhiker.

No way! He's running from the law with the guy?

Yeah, he's running from the law with the guy, and he asked the guy, he goes, why'd you even pick me up? He goes, because I know this isn't gonna end well and I don't want to die alone. That's what he told the guy.

Whoa.

And they fucking ended up skirting off the interstate into a cornfield, and, uh, and the, the police got the guys or whatever, but that, that was— and the police pull up on him like, what the fuck? Get out of the fucking vehicle. He's like, I'm a hitchhiker.

So the dude driving actually ran for the hitchhiker?

Ran from the police.

Yeah, with the hitchhiker in the passenger seat.

That's pretty dope, actually.

Yeah, you're just going gangster on it, man.

And going to heaven alone sounds— it does sound scary. I know that's why it's put together the way it is, because you have to do it by yourself or whatever, but it does sound kind of scary.

Um, what?

Going to heaven alone or dying alone.

Oh yeah, yeah.

So bringing somebody along, like, you might

as well do it. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I see what you're saying.

What's one of the wildest, uh, hitches you picked up,

bro? So I had to tell the, the first time I hadn't slept in 7 days. I was kicking, I was going through withdrawal. And sometimes—

Withdrawal or use? Because both of those—

Withdrawal. When you're coming off of heroin or fentanyl, you get really sick and you don't sleep. And sometimes I'll just hit the road because being on the road is a buzz of its own. It keeps me occupied. If I get some coffee and just drive. I can get hours out of the way that I would just be tormented at home in a room. So I picked this guy up, and I always say, you're not— if you won't kill me if I don't kill you, right before they get in. I always get a verbal disclaimer. I get an agreement from them that they won't kill me and I won't kill them, because I'm just as dangerous as they are. They just don't know it, you know? So yeah.

It's like the Hitchhiker's Creed or whatever.

Yeah, yeah. That's what I do. And this guy was cool for a while. His name was James. And I took him all like several states away. He did a dealership prank with me and everything. I made him, he walked into a car dealership and I did a prank with him, but he ended up saying some freak stuff. And I was like, dude, all right, man, ride's over, bro.

Like some sex stuff or whatever?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like he was trying to sniff you out or whatever?

Yep. Just trying to make a gay comment or something, you know? And, and I had to kick him out, dude. And as I was leaving, he was walking, he was dragging that suitcase on the next exit ramp. And I said, you could have just not said anything weird, James. I mean, it's like, because if it gets weird, yeah, you gotta go, bro.

Yeah, it gets just— it's tough. It's also tough to ride around for— with a guy for a few days. Oh yeah. And not flirt a little.

Yeah, I mean, that's gotta be— I let him drive my car and I slept And he was like, I slept for the first time in days, dude. He hadn't driven in 7 years. I hadn't slept in 7 days, dude. And he was like loving being behind the wheel. That was when I had the nice Lexus. This is a $500 Subaru I'm driving right here.

Dude, that's cool, bro. God.

But this is where I make him put the glasses on.

That's a great adventure.

It is. You get stories and you're helping somebody too. This guy had been walking for 4 days and nobody picked him up, bro.

Really?

Oh, how's it going? All right, how you doing? Good. Tired, wore out. Yeah, well, before you get in, there's a couple things we need to go over.

Okay.

You ain't gonna kill me, are you?

No, sir.

And I won't kill you. All right, is that a deal?

That's a deal.

You promise?

I promise. I'm just trying to get home. I ain't trying to—

Hop in. You get— you got to put them glasses on so I can keep I'm gonna keep an eye on you though. No weapons? Huh? No weapons? No, sir. All right, man, I'm trusting you, bro.

You're more real than you check. There's nothing in here but my personal stuff.

Grab them glasses there in the door.

Oh, these are nice.

You don't mind, just put them on so I can keep an eye on you. Okay.

I've been out here walking 4 days.

Today's the 4th day.

It's easy to see him like that.

That's crazy, dude. That's fun, dude. This is fucking— that's awesome, dude. Me and my buddy Caleb picked a hitchhiker up the other day, man. Drove her, just a lady carrying a bunch of stuff. We're like, dude, we cannot drive past a woman carrying all that.

Oh no. So we drove her for a little bit. You do have to analyze every hitchhiker though. Like, you're like, do I really feel like risking my life today or not?

Yeah, dude. I drove a guy one time to get a bunch of gasoline or something back to his family. He didn't even He didn't even say thank you, dude. And that still makes me mad.

That's crazy.

He didn't fucking say thank you.

He should have gave you a Russian reach-around, dude. That's the least he could do.

Yeah, he could have done anything for— he could have even just said even just something like thank you.

Yeah, dude. But to answer your question, yeah, it's not always fun, um, like putting people, you know, the videos. Yeah, there's a lot of negativity to it, believe it or not, even though mine are the nicest ones you see on the internet. Everyone's harassing people and making them really angry.

Well, do you think it comes from— like, I'm just curious, and I'm not trying to put you on the spot or anything. Do you feel like I am?

I am on the spot, and I like it. It's okay. It is. Yeah, it's fine.

Do you think that it's about, like, we become— like, whoever's filming becomes the, the decider of what's okay, you know what I'm saying? I wonder what, like, the psychology of it is. And you would probably know more than anybody because you've had— like, what is the attraction to Overall, do you think— have you been able to think about any of that?

The attraction of it is just capturing humans in action, whether it's bad or good.

Okay.

This dope fiend comes up to my car, but she was— she still looked decent, like, but I saw her coming a mile away. And by the end of the conversation, she makes up this crazy story about— crying and everything about somebody at McDonald's And in the end, I'm like, you sure you don't just need this money for dope? And she's like, okay. I, like, I— and it was beautiful because—

It was real. I saw that one.

Okay. So you saw that. And that one bothers me. In the recent repost of it, I cut out so much stuff that would make her look worse. I just like to show that I'm from the streets and I saw that shit a mile away.

Yeah.

But I know that I can be recorded too in those moments. I'm prepared for the worst because of what I do. Like, I know that one day, And that's why I'm like, it's kind of nice to control this reveal because people try to catch me and try to put me on blast and try to capture me getting upset all the time. And, uh, I mean, it's, uh, it can happen to me when I'm using dope. I could go buy it from a prankster. And, you know, I used to make up stories on the street too. I was the best.

Did you really?

Oh dude, I made $40 every 10 steps I took when I was on the street. Because I still—

Were you living on the street at some point?

Kind of, but I would stay in a dope dealer's garage or stay at some friends'. I was never the guy freezing on the concrete, which really hurts me to see. I always had enough people in my corner or just the dope man himself let me stay in the garage.

Um, well, you're a charismatic guy. I mean, if you have— if you can figure out people and you can navigate people, you can always survive. You're a survivor.

And I was a salesman already. So I would, when I walk up to people and I would be like, hey, you mind helping me out? You know, I didn't look like the typical addict begging for change on the street. So they would be like, I got a 10, I got a 5. I don't know. But they're like, I'll buy you some food. And I was like, okay, that'll free up money for the dope. You know, like I, I was a good, I was a good panhandler, but I was getting 5s and 10s and 20s and—

And you were using at that time?

Yeah. And my dumbass would take the first 20 I got and walk all the way to the dope house instead of saving up like 300, just going a little further down the street, dude. As soon as you get enough to get the bag, I would walk miles back to the dope house. It was the funniest shit ever, dude. I was the stupidest addict ever. I still am. I'm an idiot, bro.

Yeah, dude. Addiction's crazy, man. How did it, did it affect your ability to parent and stuff over the years? Like, how was that? Did it get pretty bad for you in that space? Or were you always able to show up in those spaces?

Well, thank God.

Um, and are you a parent?

Yeah. My son, he's a sophomore at Ohio State, man. Nice. Yeah. He's, he, and he's a good kid. My, my, my ex-wife was my high school sweetheart and I always knew she'd be the best mom. And she's, we've raised, an amazing kid. And he doesn't have, so far so good, he doesn't drink or do drugs. He's the one that drives his friends around and he loves God and God first and stuff, man. So I'm so happy about that. That's a blessing.

Yeah.

But he was a baby, like 1 or 2, or just the years where I had to put him to sleep and then as soon as he fell asleep, I'd go and drive around and get high. Like, he doesn't remember those days. Yeah. I got clean in 2010 and stayed clean till 2023, but the gambling kept me from being present. There was always this monster in my head saying, when can you go to Vegas again? When can you— when can— when's the next poker tournament?

Yeah.

And so I look back on that and I'm like, man, even though I never missed the sports games and all that shit, But the gambling still kept me from spending, being present and being the person I like to think I am today. As far as like, like I told you, I don't have to tell my mom I gotta go just to go somewhere. Yeah. You know, like I can hang out and watch Law and Order with my mom for freaking days and just chill with her, you know, and not— man, it's just such a blessing that I was, uh, I got it, got clean again, you know.

Amen, bro. It's hard to get back

It's easier to stay here than get back here, right? That's, that's the most— that's the truest statement I've ever heard, man.

I was thinking about that today. I was at a meeting today. I was thinking about that. I'm like, God, dude, I remember just like— and it's not long ago. I say I remember, like, but you know, it's like I got like 77 days or something right now.

What?

Yeah.

Mine's July 25th.

Is it? I'm August 1st. No way.

That was the day I stopped gambling. I walked out of that casino. So my gambling clean date is August 1st.

Let's go.

That's awesome. No shit.

Um, but yeah, dude, just the organizing of things to party, to have a good— to sit— the all of it. And it's okay, it's okay. It's no judgment against anybody or anything, but for me, it just— I couldn't work anymore. And I'm just praying I'm able to keep it away. But also, also, dude, somebody said the other day— I was in a meeting— I said I had to admit to myself that I loved doing those things. A lot of times I'll be like, oh, I don't love— I loved having a good— I loved I loved it. That's the thing I didn't want to admit, you know, because then I can't really operate from a place that's the true honesty. I fucking loved this. I didn't like the stress, all the other stuff that I don't even think about that's going on.

Um, yeah, dude, I loved numbing myself from reality, bro. I mean, it killed stress, it killed everything. And, and then I like to feel adventurous on it. Yeah, people always said, oh, you're— you have a hole in your soul and that's what you're trying to fill. I'm like, no, I just like to get high and take a walk the woods and trip on some mushrooms and look at shapes changing. I— but I'm learning now that it's way more than that. Um, but I didn't like to be handcuffed. I had to get high before I did anything, even if it was just weed or alcohol. It was like I didn't want to start my day until I got high. Yeah. And being able to break those chains, man, and then the gambling thing too, just— I feel, I feel like I don't have handcuffs on anymore, and it's the best feeling, dude.

I'm so happy for you for that. I'm happy for anybody. Yeah, yeah, that just has like— just to get some space to take a breath. Um, Johnny Hamchek, what's, what's next? Do you have a plan for what's next, bro?

Well, I'm actually working on a movie. Um, it's been in the works for a while, but I have, uh— they're getting pretty serious about it. They, uh, they said they're gonna start following me around with cameras for a documentary here in a couple months, so But I really don't know and I don't care. So bright, like just being clean, I can handle anything coming my way. That's why I always, during my sobriety, as long as I stayed— the number one priority for me is sticking to my, you know, getting, staying clean, man. So I don't know what's next really. I mean, the pranks now are just organic. When I see something and I feel like making videos But I'm not gonna slave to the social media. I really want to take a break, actually. I'm really wanting to put the phone down for a couple months, and I'll probably do it after this podcast, actually.

How bad does slaving get to be out finding videos? Would you find yourself at, like, a crazy amount of time hunting the perfect video?

No, it's pretty easy. But they— the best ones come when you don't try. When you go out and say, I'm gonna go find videos, It never works. It's when I'm taking a shit at a restaurant and I see a fanny pack hanging there, and I know the guy's coming back for the fanny pack. Yeah. And I, and I, in my head, I already knew I was gonna start a tug-of-war video with this guy. So I get my phone ready and everything works when you don't try. It's literally once I quit trying to squeeze onto things and accomplish things. So I have no goals in life, dude. I mean, I'm 50 years old, bro. Just being healthy and being around my family and just being a good person is all that matters. I want to do something positive with this platform. That's all I want to do is, is do something positive with it, bro. Like, that's the least I can do. I've had the most fun ever because of Johnny Hamcheck, but I want to give back. I want to do something with it positive, man. I don't know exactly what, but it's, uh, it's gonna happen.

You know, hopefully.

Well, if anybody can figure something out, it's you, man. You— it seems like you've lived a million lives, man. I think some of them we didn't even really get to talk about. Um, but, uh, yeah, I just— I can imagine that. Like, I can imagine it's been a— it just— it sounds like it's been quite a journey, man. Um, and yeah, dude, thanks for pulling up today. Thanks for, uh, just spending some time together, dude. It's so funny too, dude. The biggest prank of all is that you say you have 2 ponytails in the back.

I don't have one even.

You don't have any hair.

Yeah, one video recently, the guy said, oh, you went completely the opposite direction, huh? And I was like— and it is one of the funniest things, and that's why I was happy to actually show. And everyone's going to say Bald Boney on the internet, and I love that one. One of my fans said Bald Boney, and I love it, and it's funny, and it's great. I just don't— I just don't give a shit, man. It's, it's all love and all fun and just, you know, I'm probably gonna take some videos down off the internet now.

Oh no, did I make you feel bad about it?

No, dude, I'm just fucking with you.

Dude, I'm sorry, bro.

Dude, I'm totally fucking with you.

I don't know what's right or wrong. Dude, I'm just thinking out loud.

I'm messing with you like you mess with me, dude. Like that fucking first conversation we had. I don't know, like, I just couldn't keep up with you, dude. You're a genius. And congrats on everything. It's an honor to be here, bro. I can't tell you enough how, how happy I am to actually just reveal, reveal who I am a little bit, you know?

Oh, who runs this shit show, dude? It's a fucking—

yeah, I mean, nobody knows what the hell's going on in this business, bro.

Nobody knows, bro.

And that's life, dude.

It is life. Yeah, dude, that is the truth, bro. Nobody knows what's going on in this business, dude. That is the truth.

That's the thing that boggles my mind. You're telling me somebody created all this shit? Shit, dude, we could talk forever about life, bro. But

we could do it another time.

Yeah, dude, anytime you want, I'm down.

But yeah, dude, I'm glad you're out there busting people's ball bonies, dude. And it's fucking been an absolute blast to watch, bro. Uh, Johnny Hamchek, bro, love, bro.

Thank you, brother. One love.

Now I'm just floating on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves. I must be Cornerstone. Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found. I can feel it in my bones, but it's gonna take a little time.