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Transcript of #619 - Stan the Chauffeur

This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
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Transcription of #619 - Stan the Chauffeur from This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von Podcast
00:00:00

Today's guest is a driver. He's an operator. He's a chauffeur, you feel me? A chauffeur. I met him in South Carolina when I was a recipient of his services. He is a one of one. I'm grateful to learn all about the world of chauffeering. Today's guest is Stan, the chauffeur.

00:00:22

I will find a song, Yeah, usually this is good. Right there?

00:00:40

Yeah.

00:00:41

Okay. This way, it's not too static yet.

00:00:43

But now, if you get locked up like this, then you can move this. You know what I'm saying? I'll loosen up and wiggle around. Whatever you got to do, I'm that Muhammad, our listener, baby. You feel me though? I hear it all. I don't miss a beat.

00:00:57

Then as emotions You know you move around, wiggle the neck, you know you laugh here and there.

00:01:03

Yeah, you got different pieces inside of you, bro. And that's how it works, man. Stand... Hold on, I knew this. Stan Boilu.

00:01:11

Boyay. Damn. Well, I don't know how you all say it in Louisiana, but in New York, all my life, it's been Boyay.

00:01:21

Boyay, son. Boye, dog. I like that, bro. I wonder what it means. Probably beautiful or something.

00:01:28

It means a beautiful place or thing. That's it. And that's part of the BS that I tell of women. You do? Because my name, Stamford. Stamford means a hard rock or stone. Boye means a beautiful place or thing. So I tell them within that hard rock, if you could get inside of it, it's a beautiful place.

00:01:46

It's like a gemstone in there.

00:01:47

It's some real bullshit to lay on them, though.

00:01:50

Oh, you got to lay it on like that. That's how you do it, man. Well, one thing I noticed about you right when I met you, because you and I met, I went to a South Carolina football game a few weeks ago, and you're a chauffeur. Yes. And so you pulled right up on us, and immediately we were like, wow, this something is going on here. This guy got loose. We were laughing immediately. We were having so much fun, man. And is that where you're from, South Carolina?

00:02:16

No, I'm from the Bronx. I love the Bronx.

00:02:19

So you started out there. What happened? How did it go? Was your family was there? What was you all doing over there?

00:02:25

Well, in '95, my first wife left me and she went to Charlotte. Her mother was an IBM exec, and I used to go to see my daughter once a month. That got to be expensive. So in '97, I literally walked off the corner in the Bronx, got on the Greyhound bus, and went to Charlotte because My first ex-wife's mother told me that if I was serious about changing my life, she would give me a shot. I stayed with her briefly until we had a conversation where she told me that I'm supposed to be giving her something more than just rent while I'm staying in her house.

00:03:04

Oh, no. She was looking for a little bit of limb.

00:03:06

And I asked her, What are you talking about? Because I do your grass, I do the laundry, I don't bring anybody here. What more do you want? She told me I was a man, and she's pretty sure I could figure this one out.

00:03:19

She wanted that interior design.

00:03:21

I said to her, Are you talking about the bonus plan? And she said to me, Whatever you want to call it. And she said to me, It's my house, my rules. If you don't like it, find another place to stay. I moved out the next morning, and I've been off and running since.

00:03:37

Dang. That's it. You said, Look, I'm going to make my own choice for me. Why didn't you make that choice, though? Was there something about it? Is it that that just wasn't in your DNA to say, I'm going to provide that for you ladies.

00:03:49

No. First of all, that was my first wife's mother. Oh, I didn't realize. My first wife and I are really still cool, and that's my oldest daughter's mother.

00:03:58

Oh, I didn't realize. Yeah, I think I missed the beat of the story.

00:04:01

Yeah, no. First ex-wife's mother. And yes, my daughter knows. My ex-mother-in-law and I, we have survived that. We don't even think about that no more.

00:04:13

Oh, that's a speed bump, man. Was she using at the time or something?

00:04:16

Well, we all potheads.

00:04:17

Yeah. Okay. So you never know. Somebody gets a little bit high, you don't know who you fucking.

00:04:23

Man dog, not me.

00:04:24

Oh, yeah. You're right about that, bro. Type shit, what you're right about.

00:04:28

Not that. No, Because I knew you see things like that will surface back later, and my daughter might have resented that.

00:04:39

You made the choice that you had to make as a man.

00:04:42

Yeah.

00:04:43

All right, so you're down there in Charlotte, you end You end up down there, you head down there, you live with your ex-wife, her mother. Briefly. And stuff gets a little wild down there, and you're like, Man, I got to get back out in the world. This ain't the spot for me. Yes. Was that it? Is that when you started chauffeering down there in Charlotte? When did you get behind the wheel, big dog?

00:05:03

I started chauffeering in '99. As a result, I was driving a truck on the highway one day going to Raleigh, and a guy in an SUV SUV kept riding next to me, trying to get my attention. Coming from the Bronx with that Bronx mentality, I'm thinking it's a hijacking. So I started dipping the truck towards his SUV. And then the window lowered down and he said to me he wanted to talk to me about a driving job. We got off the next exit. His name was Shane. He was from Miami, and he told me that he needed a driver for his stretch navigator. I had never driven a limo before. I decided to take the opportunity, and it gave me a feeling, man, and I've never looked back. I mean, every guy wants to look good driving a nice car, burning somebody else's gas, and getting paid for it. And I really enjoy it. I mean, it is me now.

00:06:05

When you pull up, I was like, this is... It was just this ensemble, bro. It wasn't like I was going with you. You were taking... It was like, this is an adventure. You are welcome to Stangana, Stan, baby. You know what I'm saying? That's what it felt like.

00:06:20

I enjoyed myself that particular evening.

00:06:22

We had a great time, man. What are some of the things with show Fern? Do you have a code of ethics and conduct? What is something you have to remember as a chauffeur?

00:06:31

What I have to remember is as a chauffeur, first of all, it's not about you as a driver. Your job is to make sure that your guests have a good night. They enjoy themselves. Safe driving, great customer service. Make sure they enjoy themselves. If you have a sprinter, make sure they know how to work the music, the AC. You have to do a lot of ear hustling. If you hear the women say something like somebody has to go to the bathroom, you're supposed to hit them. Hey, listen, group, we're going to make a stop because I have to go to the bathroom. If you hear them say something like they're running out of beer or they need some more soda or water, then that's when I'll hit them with, Hey, you all, listen, I'm going to stop at a convenience store because I need a Mountain Dew.

00:07:22

I see. Put it on you.

00:07:23

Bingo. You always have to try to stay a step ahead of them. Make sure that wherever wherever the venue is that they're going is safe for them. You have that responsibility. And if you have women, and I'm a male driver, I make sure that them women are safe. I have seven sisters. But that particular evening that I have those ladies, they are my sisters and my daughters.

00:07:46

Yeah, because people don't know when they're getting in with a driver what their mentality is. What are some of the worst things that passengers can do, man? What's the type of shit that- Throw up.

00:07:59

Throw in my vehicle.

00:08:00

And what you're talking about, vomit? Yes.

00:08:02

From being excessively drunk. I had a guy one night, he's hanging out the window throwing up. And then I was in Charlotte and he asked me to pull over. I pulled over, let him throw up. Another time, I had a group that I was taking down to Orangeburg in a sprinter on a Monday. No, excuse me. It might have been about a Tuesday morning. I won't say the name of the organization. And the guy started screaming, Hey, Stan, stop, stop. I pulled over on I-26 and let this guy, Earl, out the window.

00:08:31

And he was vomiting? Yeah. Yeah.

00:08:34

But things that I detest are somebody that's too drunk because you can't rationalize with them. You can't reason with them. And then normally when somebody has been drinking a whole lot, the evening is going to go downhill. Amen.

00:08:52

Every time. I mean, that's a given no matter what's going on. Yes. And you ever have anybody try to get them out there to hustle to get a a bag or something, get a little bag of dope or something like that? I mean, does that happen? I'm sure people ask that shit all the time.

00:09:05

Well, people ask as a driver, especially out-of-towners, do you know where they could get such and such?

00:09:12

And what they're looking for, usually, you think?

00:09:14

Normally, somebody might want either a little cocaine. And my thing is, I don't know anything. I mean, you never know whether they're an undercover agent or what. Plus, also, my Our boss would really be let down if that happened in our vehicles.

00:09:36

For sure. You also don't know if they're a little bitch and they can't handle their cocaine. Boom, boom.

00:09:41

That's right. That's true.

00:09:43

That's the true, boy. That's true. So that's the thing. Because sometimes people don't think when they go do something, they meet up with a chauffeur, you have a responsibility as a passenger as well, right? Yes, they do. I think that's just about life. People think just because somebody's providing a service doesn't mean that you don't start to be a human being in that instance and take care of yourself. Have you ever had a spot where... I'm sure this happens a lot where a couple wants to make out or make a little bit of sex or something.

00:10:16

Brother, it happens. What do you got to do?

00:10:17

You got to stay in the car and put your ears like that? Or what do you all do?

00:10:20

Okay, it's happened more than you think. The first time it happened, I was in a stretch limo and I heard some weird noise, and I had the partition up. I went to lower the partition to see what was going on in the back. And as the partition began coming down, I started trying to push it back up. I didn't want to see it. Her legs was in the air. My man was pile driving. About two or three months ago, I was in the sprinter, and I had some newlyweds. They were in Columbia outside of a little bar or something. Their wedding party was in the bar. They came out and got into the sprinter. I thought the wedding party was coming out behind them. I felt the sprinter rocking to the side. And I went to look into the back. I saw what was going on. I got out the sprinter and I went into the bar to go see whether or not the wedding party was coming out. They told me, No, that time is for them. I gave them about 10, 15 minutes. Then I knocked on the sprinter. Hey, I'm about to take you all home.

00:11:23

When I took them home, knocked on the door, they were just getting dressed. It happens, brother.

00:11:28

Yeah. So when you knock on that sprinter door, is it a hard knock, like a cop, or is it something chill? Because you know what I'm saying? You still have a responsibility. You got to make sure about it.

00:11:37

No, it's a soft knock. Just to let them know, Hey, listen, I'm about to check on you all, or we're about to get moving. I mean, you already know what's going on. Honestly, that's why people rent limos and sprints, man. You'll be surprised, man.

00:11:56

Damn. Oh, dude, I do remember just now, actually, I ended up getting a BJ out there. See? Yeah, I forgot about that. Thank you. Actually, thank you. I never would have remembered it. I ended up getting a BJ out there from some girl. I think she was like a lieutenant, like a third lieutenant. I don't know what was happening to her. I think she was, I don't know if she was missing something. I don't remember what happened to her. She'd been in the military for a while, and she rattled me off a little BJ over there somewhere, and that was in, I believe this might have been over there in Missouri, somewhere over there.

00:12:30

Now, as a driver, you have to avoid that.

00:12:34

You do? Oh, with them trying to give it to you?

00:12:36

I do.

00:12:37

Got it.

00:12:37

I don't know what any other driver does. But my thing is I have two daughters in total, including my god's sister I have seven sisters. And I would not want any driver to think that he is a celebrity because they are out that night and they've been drinking and have a good time, and they may be hitting on him for him to go for it. They're hitting on you because they're drunk. They don't know you. They don't even mean to. They just out having a good time. Don't go for it.

00:13:06

Don't do that. That's a trap, huh? Yeah. Have you heard stories of drivers going for it and anything happening to them?

00:13:11

I've heard drivers brag about going for it. I would never. I actually avoid it. I have run before. I have lied.

00:13:19

Really get a run off?

00:13:20

Yes.

00:13:21

You ever have to lock a woman in a car and just get away?

00:13:23

No, I want them out the car so I can get away.

00:13:26

Got it. Yeah, that's better. Better idea.

00:13:28

Yes. One lady actually had me call my mother 3: 00 in the morning, and I woke my mother up because this lady was gifted. I had two ladies in Charlotte one Saturday. Now, they were at the Breakfast Club having a good time. They were really drunk. They lived across the street from the Panthers Practice Facility. Now, once again, I have seven sisters. So my My intent is always to walk the women to their doors. I walked this lady to her door, and as we went to shake hands, she took these two fingers and this thumb and stuck them in her mouth. And she was holding my arm over here, and I'm trying to get it from her. And the more I pulled back, the more she pulled in. And now she has her eyes closed. She got veins sticking out her forehead, and she's gone off on my arm. I couldn't get it out of her mouth. Now, this is the truth, you all. Eventually, a feeling went down my arm, down my leg, made my toes curl, came up my leg, and hit my right testicle. I snatched my arm out of her mouth, ran Lincoln.

00:14:45

Jumped into Lincoln. I'm trying to start it. It's going to jigg, jigg, jigg, jigg, jigg, jigg, jigg, jigg, jigg.

00:14:49

Because it wants to stay and get that blow job, bro.

00:14:52

Then when the car started, since I had my foot on the gas, rocks went flying out from behind me and the car zoomed off. I went around the corner, skidded to a stop, and called my mother, 3: 00 in the morning. I'm like, mommy, mommy, mommy, you got to wake up. You got to wake up. And mommy's like, Stan, what's wrong? So I told my mother, what happened? My mommy's like, Stan, so why'd you run? I said, mommy, she has skills. If she could get on my finger and make my body wake up, imagine you all might not have ever seen me again. My mother was like, Stan, you crazy, man. Leave me the hell alone so I can go back to sleep. Man, yeah. Another time, I walked a check to her door. I had to go to the bathroom. I don't care if my stomach is upset. I don't go to the bathroom in women's houses anymore. This young lady let me into her apartment Apartment. I went to apartment. I'm peeing. When I went to open up the bathroom door, she was standing there with her panties on. No bra, no clothes, no nothing.

00:15:53

What panties was it, you think, if you had a guess?

00:15:55

It was some little flowery little joints, man.

00:15:58

Come on, springtime She wanted me to go for it, and I lied. What'd she say? Did she say something or was she standing there just rocking her body or what?

00:16:06

She told me that she wanted to give me a tour of the apartment, and she wanted to show me her bed. And when I told her that I wasn't going for it, she told me that the guy I was driving for, once again, Shane, with the stretch navigator, that Shane told her that she could have me because he was having her friend, that he picked up two chicks in the strip club, Onyx in Charlotte. I got out of that, you all. I told the young lady that there were condoms in the limo and I was going down in the limo to go grab a couple of condoms. I got in that car and, yeah, you all, I pilled out of there.

00:16:41

I've said that shit. Damn, bro. I remember one time I couldn't get an ere, right? And I don't know if you guys deal with that in the Black community or whatever. But I couldn't get an ere, a white ere or whatever.

00:16:54

Man, it happened to me before.

00:16:55

Yeah. And so I told a girl, I was like, Oh, I'm going to go get some condoms. She's looking at me like, For what? You know what I'm saying, bro? I was trying to make an excuse to get out of there, bro. I've been gone eight years going to get them condoms. I ain't been back there since, though. God damn.

00:17:12

Actually, that type of issue, and I'm going to be honest, you all, since we're talking, that's what made me leave cocaine alone. Really? Three times it had me dead. The first time, I was confused. The second time, I'm like, wait a minute, wait a minute. The third time I knew it, and I was with my second wife. That was my last time that I used it because how she made me feel so stupid when she was sitting there plucking it, talking about, look at this. What am I supposed to do with this? What's wrong with this? What did you do? And I'm sitting there feeling dumb and dumb. And I said to myself, Ain't no woman on the planet going to ever make me feel like this. And I have not touched it since.

00:17:55

How long did you use it for? Stan, be honest with me, bro, because I've been down that road.

00:17:59

I might have started When I was in cocaine, when I was about 15, maybe 16, and I stopped at 33. A lot of that had to do with lifestyle in the Bronx. Growing up with the guys that controlled my part of the Bronx. I see. I mean, whether it was a coke, whether it was a heroine, my guys were narco-terrorists. So it was always there. It was always around.

00:18:23

Were you at school seeing it after school? Were you not in school? Were you seeing it just on the playgrounds? Did they have gang members that had? What was it like? When you say guys that controlled the area, take me on that. What was your neighborhood like growing up? Take me through a little bit of that.

00:18:37

I'm from the Bronx. I come off 169th Street, Washington Avenue, the Marva Senior neighborhood. Our project was called Claremont Village. It's a good projects. Recently, there's been a few shootings, but this is America, so that's going to happen.

00:18:51

Yeah, we don't need everybody.

00:18:53

But one thing that I can say about that particular neighborhood, if it wasn't for a man named Mr. Curtis Johnson, he was responsible for the schools being open, for evening basketball, for the Friday night hip hop shows. He got the summer youth employment, the free turkeys, the free cheese, the bus rides, the great adventures, the pool mobile, the skate mobile. All that used to come in the neighborhood.

00:19:24

What was the pool mobile?

00:19:26

A big, giant truck that came to the projects that had a pool in it.

00:19:30

No, I'm not fucking tripping up, bro. You understand? Hold on, hold on, hold on. First, let's back up, man. Yeah, man.

00:19:37

In the summer, they used to have every now and then the skate mobile where it come through. It's an impoverished neighborhood. Those things that we don't have, skates.

00:19:48

And so what was that? They would just hand out skates to everybody?

00:19:52

No, you had to give up your sneakers. Okay. And they would give out skates.

00:19:57

And then where would you skate? In the street?

00:19:59

Yes, because It was blocked off.

00:20:01

Got it. So it was a block off the area. The truck would come with the skates and everybody would get them. Wow. It's so cool. But just the way that creates a neighborhood event.

00:20:08

But then they would close off in front of Claremont Center and a large truck would come with a pool.

00:20:14

What? What do you mean?

00:20:17

Yes. And we would have pool mobiles, skate mobiles.

00:20:21

No, look at this.

00:20:22

Block parties.

00:20:24

I've never seen this.

00:20:25

We had parades. Johnson was a good dude, man.

00:20:28

Yeah, this is it. And It's right here on Perplexity. It says, New York formerly operated mobile swimming pools called swim mobiles. Essentially, pools attached to trucks that could be parked on residential streets during the 1960s and '70s. These swim mobiles provided underserved neighborhoods access to swimming. While the era of true mobile pools is over, there have been recent proposals for pop-up or portable pools, such as dumpster pools and temporary pool installations. What happened to those pools? Can you look that up for me really quick?

00:21:00

I think it might have been a budget thing. People phased it out.

00:21:06

New York City's swimmobiles disappeared, mostly due to changes in pool filtration standards, which made mobile pools harder to maintain and operate legally. So, lawsuit shit.

00:21:16

Somebody probably got some infection.

00:21:18

Some asshole in their head to fucking make a big deal out of it instead of putting some ointment on it. You a bitch. Additionally, budget cuts made it difficult for the city to support their upkeep. Many fell into disrepair by the early 1980s. Oh, also, the rising number of permanent public and private pools also reduced the need for a mobile solution. Wow. So when would the mobile pool pull up? What was that like?

00:21:42

Various times during the summer. It's like when they closed off 169th Street between third and Washington, there was always something going on for us, whether it was the skate mobile, the pool mobile, or just a block party. It was always something. But when they would close off the street, that's the reason why I don't get on skates, man. I do not do skates.

00:22:09

Why?

00:22:10

I could never skate. I was that stiff kid who would put the skates on and just float until I could either touch a building or go to a car or something.

00:22:19

I'm not good on wheels like that and shit. I'm not good. I'm that gingerbread, man. I'm just stiff.

00:22:24

No. And one day I was on the skates and I'm going towards the rope I will never forget this, man. And this girl pulled the rope back as I got near it, and then she let the rope go. And I woke up later on. I don't get on skates, man. Skates ain't for me, man.

00:22:43

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00:25:21

Okay. The limos or the stretch market.

00:25:26

The stretch market?

00:25:27

Oh, you know, like the stretch limos.

00:25:29

Stretch limos, yeah.

00:25:30

That particular market is almost drying up because of the sprinters. Like the Mercedes sprinter has basically eliminated the stretch market because why would you put, say, 8 to 10 people in a vehicle that's low and they'll be sitting down. The driver has to make wide turns versus putting them in a sprinter, a Mercedes sprinter, where it may be 13 passengers, it may be a 10 passengers, it may be the party bus, depending on how the owner operator has the interior designed. People prefer that. You just have to make a little wider turn.

00:26:06

How do you do it? If you had to show me it.

00:26:09

Well, I always drive with two hands. Okay. The reason I drive with two hands is because one hand is not going to do it right. And a lot of times, the wheels move. You have to constantly look into your mirrors, and you have to always make sure you have distance between you and the vehicle in front of you because those vehicles don't stop on a dime. And a lot of times, like the public, people will see like the sprinter or they'll see like a limo, and they'll try and undercut you and stop short. Come on, dog. You don't have to do that, man. As if they're trying to cause an accident. I'm constantly sweeping my mirrors. I'm going from left to right, constantly. I'm constantly looking in like your middle mirror, if you have one. But most of the time you won't if it's a stretch. If it's a sprinter, you're not going to have that either. So you have to really learn how to use your mirrors, keep the space in front of you. You have to be a really good driver as well as taking care of your charge of your people. I mean, you know.

00:27:16

Would it been some situations that have got a little sketch out there for you, on the road? What's some of the most harrowing situations you've had to deal with?

00:27:25

Okay, I was in Charlotte. And one thing as a limo driver is that you're not supposed to pick up person that hasn't been booked. I was at the Bowling Alley in Charlotte off of Park Road. I dropped somebody off over there and I was about to leave. A guy came out the bowling alley and he asked me if I was going to the Uptown Charlotte area. And I was like, yeah. And he said to me how he had never been in a limo before. Could I just take him? I figured the guy was bowling. It's nothing. Take him. So he got to the limo and I pulled off. And then the guy asked me, he said to me, Hey, is it true that as a chauffeur, you're not supposed to be armed? And I was like, Yeah, why? He said to me, So what would you do if somebody is robbing you? I was like, Man, I ain't even worried about that. And then the guy said to me, Man, look, what would you do if I'm robbing you? And I turned around and looked at him and I said, Why? And then the guy said to me, Man, because this is a robbery.

00:28:26

And I said to the dude, Okay, it's like this, man. Because now he messed up. I said to the guy, It's like this, man. I practice this. It's like this. I could hit my break, open the door and roll out and let the car go. And I showed him how I had the door open. I said, The man, I practice that. I said, But now it's like this. If you have a gun, I roll out the door and the car keeps going. Said to him, Now, if you have a knife, that means that you have to be up on me. And if you're up on me, because the guy was No leaning close, I said, Man, if you're up on me, here's what's going to happen. My foot hit the gas, the gas hit the floor. I turned the corner. He fell all over the car. I'm doing about 90 miles now in Charlotte, about two o'clock in the morning, looking for a cop, turning corners, driving while skidding and all of this stuff. The guy's falling all over the place. He's telling me, I'm crazy. Something's wrong with me. And I'm hollering at him, We're both dying tonight.

00:29:25

Yeah, let's die. And like I said to him, My family know I can drive. I'm surgical behind the wheel. So if I hit a building, they're going to know something was going down in this car, man. And then I skidded to a stop and I said to him, You can get out now. The guy got out, put his weapon away. He had his finger up in the air. He told me, Man, you're crazy. F you. This, that, and the other. And I'm sitting there going, Wait, how about the robbery, man? What happened? Where are you going?

00:29:49

Man, fuck him. But that's the shit, brother. You got to be prepared for.

00:29:53

Yes, you do.

00:29:54

What about another instance? You pulled up at a gas station and you refueling the The Coach, and then somebody come up. Something happened over there. I'm sure you're running some characters out there, man. Take me through some of that, Stan.

00:30:07

You do, but that's where the Bronx, that's where that 160 nice feet of me come in.

00:30:09

That's where you know what's going on. We're right, yeah.

00:30:11

Like I tell people, your dog, don't walk up on me, man. I'm a different dude, man. I tell them, Don't do that. I keep a lawyer on a speed dial. His name is Ken Snow. He's in Charlotte, you all. He's good, too. I tell people, Do not walk up on me, man, because if I got to take off the glasses, we're getting down. I take off the glasses for two things. They both begin with a F. Fighting and... I tell people, Do not walk up on me. Yeah.

00:30:45

Oh, 100 %, man. 100 %, dog. That's the thing. Yeah. You got to tell people, do not walk up on me. Do not walk over here sometimes. Yeah, man.

00:30:54

No, because I have this $200,000 vehicle and I have people. I may have somebody who's a $200 million person with me. I don't want anything to happen to that person. It's not my responsibility to be executive protection, but I'm not going to let something happen to somebody who's with me.

00:31:14

Right. That's part of the gang, right? Right.

00:31:15

I mean, me and that person to stomp somebody out together.

00:31:18

And do you keep a blade on you? Do you keep a pistol on you? No. Are you allowed to keep that thing on you?

00:31:26

Some people do. I'm an anti-gun guy.

00:31:28

Okay.

00:31:30

I'm anti-gun.

00:31:31

But I know you've had a blade on you before. You told me a story about bladeing out a dude, huh?

00:31:34

Oh, yeah, man. What happened with that? Oh, man. This guy, he was a home contract and scam artist named Mickey Moore. My house in Charlotte that I had bought and renovated. It had a HVAC problem. Now, once again, you all, I'm a reject from the projects. I don't know any of the language as far as that century AC and the HVAC and all of that stuff. So my HVAC, the heat went out. A friend of mine put me in touch with a friend of his who worked for a guy. They came over to the house. The guy said all the right things. He blew smoke up my ass. He told me everything.

00:32:11

Oh, yeah, the Native American shit.

00:32:13

Yeah. I mean, he told me everything that I needed to hear. My at that time, girlfriend was saying to me, Stan, something sounds funny about this. And I told her, no, well, he's a friend of this dude here. Let's let him do the job.

00:32:26

And did he have a ponytail or anything? What did he look like?

00:32:29

Mickey Moore Well, come to find out, heroine user, heroine dealer, pill user, pill dealer. The lady.

00:32:42

There he is right there.

00:32:43

Yeah, that's him.

00:32:44

Are you sure that that- That's Mickey. Oh, yeah. I've seen this guy. He does all those Jessie Ventura impersonations.

00:32:52

This guy here, he had a company in Charlotte called CSC of the Carolinas. The lady before me, an 87-year-old lady, he scammed her for $43,000. Then when he got me, he got me for $10,000. No, no, no. He took out a perfectly good HVAC system that only needed to have a fuse change. And dig this, you all. He incorrectly installed a highly defective unit that he must have bought off the marketplace or from some bogus place that had turned my crawl space into a foot of mud.

00:33:27

He put a blender in that bitch. He took out a regular HVAC system, and he put a two-story microwave in that bitch, bro.

00:33:35

We literally had poison gas coming through the floor. Another air conditioning company cut off my gas. They threatened to... I mean, I was having headaches and stuff.

00:33:47

That's because he put a lawn mower in that bitch. He put a riding lawn mower where your fucking H-Fax was- Then he vandalized my central air, figuring that.

00:33:55

I'm not going to know. State Farm noticed the paperwork was incorrect, and they called me and said, Man, we're investigating you for fraud. And I'm like, What are you talking about? And then when they explained it to me, and then I'm like, Wait a minute. So no wonder why something's been wrong. I called a couple of other AC companies. They came over, they checked the work, and they told me what he did. I contacted this guy, and he told me, F you, Stan, you'll never find me. And I explained to Mickey, I'm a New Yorker. I don't have anything to do. I'm bored. I will find you one day. I will find you. Well, you all, I did find him. And when I found him, Mickey Moore had an 8 to 10-inch knife on him and a crowbar. I got out of my car with my hands in the air. No weapon, you all.

00:34:52

Raphael and Donatello.

00:34:56

A little while later, Mickey was popped eight with his own knife. 20 cops came to my house to come get me.

00:35:05

That's all we know.

00:35:08

But I'm in the street, you all.

00:35:09

And that's all we know, boy.

00:35:13

Anybody who knows me can feel it in.

00:35:15

That's all we know, son. Pin the tail on the donkey, homie. That's all we know, bro.

00:35:21

I explained to the judge that I'm from the Bronx, and if you take somebody's weapon, it's called a free kill. She He told me that in a civilized society, there's no such thing as a free kill.

00:35:35

Well, there's a difference of opinion.

00:35:37

Very true. And he is alive. But anybody, once again, who knows me, knows that I'm no dummy. Below the waist is Mr. Cermina. Above the waist is felony.

00:35:48

Is that true?

00:35:48

Yes, it is.

00:35:49

Wow.

00:35:50

Yes, it is. You just have to watch out for that femoral artery that the judge told me that I almost hit. I missed it by less than half an inch, but he got popped eight times. Ken Snow, you all. He did his thing. I'm in the street.

00:36:04

Ken Snow, baby. That's another advertisement for Ken Snow. You're based over out of Columbia, South Carolina. That's where you're riding at now. Yes. That's where you're chauffearing at now, man. If you guys, we'll put Stan's info out there, man. If you all want to ride with the doll, when you pull up somewhere in Columbia, South Carolina, man, that's the guy to do it with.

00:36:23

Signature transportation.

00:36:24

Dude, that story is crazy, bro. I'm trying to think. One story you was telling me, oh, so you You've had some love issues over the years, bro.

00:36:32

Oh, yeah, man. I love the women, you all. I paid for two divorces. Let's see. I'm 60. I'll be 61 on the 24 for this month.

00:36:42

You look great, brother.

00:36:43

Thank you. My on and off again, girlfriend, she's only 25. She's in Columbia. Yeah, and I was telling Theo how January seventh of this year, how she hit me with a pot of fettucini noodles that I was boiling. And I ended up in-Let's say it again, fettucini noodles. Fettacini noodles, you all, that I was boiling. And I ended up in the doctor's hospital in Augusta, Georgia, which is America's largest burn center. And I had to have Some surgery because my left ear was melted in the back. I was burned back here. I mean, they had me wrapped up like a mummy. It was bad.

00:37:24

Melded in the back.

00:37:25

And then after telling Theo the story about how I had got She beat up that particular night and my gold chain was twisted into my neck.

00:37:34

Take us through it, Stan. Take us through it. Take us out of the... You know what I'm saying? No judgment.

00:37:38

She was drunk that particular night. She came by my apartment. And once again, drunk people, it's hard to rationalize this, that, and the other. Oh, yeah. They be wild. Yeah. She was upset about a few things. I'm in the kitchen. I'm trying to make some... I'm frying some chicken parmajian, making the fettucini noodles and making the vegetables and just pushing and shoving. I'm trying to get her out the kitchen. And then when she grabbed a hold of my chain and started choking me-So she grabbed your chain. Basically, I had to get her attention by feeding into what was going on. And then when I She was moving out of the kitchen. She began looking at the stuff on the stove, and I was hoping that she did not grab the chicken parmajian with the vegetable oil in it. And instead, she grabbed the pot with my fettucini, and I said to her, Don't do it. If you do it, you're going to go to jail. And then she picked it up. And as I turned to run, I felt it hit me. And when it hit me, I ran out of my door and I was screaming, You really burnt me.

00:38:56

And then my dog Snowy started trying to attack her. Then I went back into my apartment, but I had already called the police. I left my door open, and that's when the cops showed up.

00:39:10

And when the cops showed up, was there water in the pot, too, or just in hot noodles?

00:39:15

Water was on the floor.

00:39:18

But were they boiling? Was the noodles boiling? That's what I'm asking.

00:39:21

They were boiling when she threw them on me. Yeah, man.

00:39:25

So you were rather, in hindsight, got hit by that entree, by that chicken palm, or you think the fettucini or the fettucini noodles?

00:39:36

Given a choice, the fettucini was better because the chicken palm was in vegetable oil, and that would have really torn me up.

00:39:43

And how did that feel when that first hit you, man, when that Chene hit you, bro, what it is?

00:39:49

It stung. It stung something fierce. I screamed, The shit stinks. And I ran out my door And I said to her, You burnt me.

00:40:02

There you are right now, and that's it.

00:40:05

I went back inside, and she was telling me at that time, she realized what she did then.

00:40:13

Did you have Did you have a shirt on? Did you put your hands in the air? Did you get down on the ground? Did you put some milk on? What did you do?

00:40:21

I did not do anything to it. I did not touch it. And when the police and the EMTs came, they were literally picking noodles and stuff off me. It stung like crazy. I didn't do anything. I didn't even touch it. I mean, later on, I went to bed. The next day-You went to bed? Eventually, I went to sleep just like that.

00:40:48

Did you put the gauze on?

00:40:49

No. I didn't do anything because I didn't think it was bad, honestly. Then the next day, I went to see a friend of mine to Borrow some money. But I noticed that it was dripping over there. It was really wet. And when my friend looked at my head, he said to me, What happened to you? And I didn't say anything. And he said to me, Who did that to you? And then the tears just started rolling. So he knew.

00:41:18

His or yours? No. Whose tears?

00:41:21

My tears started rolling. And then...

00:41:25

Damn, look at this shit here. You look like a model in one of those fashion shows or something.

00:41:29

And What my friend said to me was-This is like some BCBR G-Maxx's area, bro. They sent me my... Actually, it's my friend Scott that owns Signature Transportation. He's like my boss, friend, Big Brother. Scott told me to go to the emergency room. So I went to the emergency room, and when I walked into the emergency room, they didn't take my name or anything. They just walked me into the back.

00:41:58

You hit the Express Wait, dig this now.

00:42:01

They took me into a room. Three doctors came in there. They didn't touch me. They walked around me and they looked. And one doctor said to me, Sir, there's nothing we can do for you here. You have to go to Augusta. And I said, What's in Augusta? He said, America's largest burn center. And I said to him, Yeah, well, okay, I'll go.

00:42:21

Let's do it. They calling you up to the big league, baby.

00:42:23

Now, bear in mind, I'm in a little shock. So they gave me the referral, and they They told me the referral was for seven o'clock tomorrow morning.

00:42:33

And they wrapped you up like this or no?

00:42:34

No, they just sent me home.

00:42:36

Because this shit looked like they got you in a damn to a gum box right here.

00:42:39

I went home and took a shower not knowing that I shouldn't have did that.

00:42:44

You came Can you feel it, bro? I'm in shock. Oh, my bad, man.

00:42:47

And then I smoked me some herb and I went to sleep. I got up the next morning, got in my car, and I drove to Augusta.

00:42:53

And was it still dripping a little? Still dripping. And what's dripping? Is it dripping us into your shirt or what's popping?

00:42:59

It's It's getting on my clothes.

00:43:01

Does it smell like fettucini at all?

00:43:05

No.

00:43:05

Or like a little bit of garlic or parmesan?

00:43:08

It was just weird because it felt like sweat on one part of my body.

00:43:16

Yeah. Fuck, you a damn side item out there.

00:43:18

I didn't know that the back of my ear was literally melting. I mean, I was literally messed up. I went to Augusta.

00:43:27

Damn, bro, look at this shit, bro. You look like a damn Blackstronaut, bro. They got you fucking looking like you're going to space right there, bro.

00:43:36

But the crazy thing is, man, like I tell anybody, Stan, they got you. She didn't mean to hurt me. She was intoxicated.

00:43:43

Oh, no, I'm not saying that.

00:43:44

No, I'm saying as bad as it looks.

00:43:46

Right. Yeah, that's it.

00:43:48

As bad as it looks, I can honestly say because I still deal with her to this day. People ask me why all the time. I go, Why? Life is life. Shit happens.

00:44:00

Love is love, too, man.

00:44:01

And that's the thing. I'm 60. She's 25. And I'm going to say this publicly, though. I love this shit off this young lady. I don't know why, but I do. We go through it all the time.

00:44:13

Look at Belichick. He on that shit, bro.

00:44:16

I mean, and this happened and the police wanted to arrest her. They were trying to convince me to let them press felony charges on them.

00:44:25

Felony for the Fettucini?

00:44:28

And I'm telling them, no, I'm telling them no. First of all, she has two boys. Who's going to raise her sons? Got to be two more young Black men in the system. We're not having that. And my thing was, she was intoxicated and emotional. It's not like she did it Had she not been intoxicated, it would have never happened. She's beautiful like most people.

00:44:50

Right. But yeah, it's not like she's- alcohol changes your personality in everyone.

00:44:54

Oh, yeah.

00:44:55

It's not like she's hiding in the woods sober with a fucking pan of- No, no, man. Orzo or Angel hair, pasta, something she pop out and hit you with that bitch. It was something that was drunk and then it happened. Boom. Yeah.

00:45:07

It's crazy. I mean, that's my baby.

00:45:09

That's your girl. Yeah.

00:45:10

That's my baby.

00:45:10

Look, we love who we love, bro. That's the thing. We love who we love. That's right. That's one of really the interesting things about love, I think, Stan.

00:45:19

It's crazy. It's weird.

00:45:20

It's crazy, bro.

00:45:21

You can't even explain it. And everyone I know tells me, Stan, stay away from her. She's not right for you. Everybody she knows tells her, F him. Stay away from that dude. He's too old for you. Oh, that's an old man. This, that, and the other. But like I tell her, Okay, I'm a little older. But ask your friends, do they have a good man? Do they have any man? Ask family. Do they have a better man? I mean, I don't cheat. I don't drink. I'm in bed by 10: 00 unless I'm working. I mean, I go out the house to walk the dog, buy my herb, get my Mountain Dews and my Dutchmasters.

00:45:58

I mean, I don't go nowhere. Look, That's a South Carolina fitness routine, man.

00:46:02

I mean, she still has a decent guy here. I don't care how people feel about me.

00:46:07

Type shit, man.

00:46:08

But my thing is, when it comes to her, I'm there for her. Right.

00:46:14

You know? I mean, that's the interesting thing about love, man. Some days love is a sitcom. Some days it's a scary movie. Some days it's just the same movie over and over and over again that you really are at peace watching.

00:46:27

But to be honest, I can't take much more of that particular madness.

00:46:32

The drinking?

00:46:33

No, the madness that goes with the whole relationship. I mean, the whole madness. I mean, I'm 60 years old. I'll be 61 in another two, three weeks. I pay for two divorces. I'm looking for my last queen. I'm looking for... I want real. I want a woman. I want my woman. I want somebody to make me happy for this last what? I'm 61, you all. How much more time do I I have.

00:47:00

I think you got a lot of time, bro. Because you seem like that guy, they ain't going to get rid of. Bring up another shot of him in that helmet, bro. They had you packaged up in this bitch, bro.

00:47:09

Yeah, man.

00:47:10

God damn, bro. You look like an undercover cop at a cotton ball factory, homie. They asked me who drove me to Augusta.

00:47:18

I said to them, I drove myself. They were like, You did what? He said to me, Who's with you? One of the doctors asked me, Well, how could you take the pain? And I said to him, What pain? My C4 My L5, 6, 7, 8 is fused and my L5, S1 is fused. I could do pain. I mean, other than it stinging, I was literally in shock.

00:47:42

Yeah, you a damn Lego person at That's the point, man. That's nothing.

00:47:46

We've gotten past that. We have a decent friendship. I mean, like anything else, it goes up and down. But right about now, it's beginning to get old.

00:47:58

Yeah, you got to see What else is... Look, it needs to evolve. If it's going to, it would be nice for it to evolve in a better place. Boom. And that's okay to say that, man.

00:48:08

Either be real with me or be gone so that somebody else can go on and get this dude here that's a good dude. Gang, gang, gang. That's my mantra to her. Either you take advantage and let's be real and let's start with the BS, or let's go our separate ways so that you could do you. And I can find that woman that's actually out there looking for me. Because trust me, she's out there looking for me.

00:48:32

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00:50:03

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00:51:35

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00:52:56

Not everybody can meet someone. It's like, Where is she, though? It is exciting, though, too, thinking that there's somebody out there, right? And where that person is and what their life is like. That's like an exciting thing.

00:53:07

I want that ultimate queen, man.

00:53:09

Oh, bro, I'm going to see you on the throne with your dime, bro. You deserve it, man.

00:53:13

At least, I still got a little lead in the pencil.

00:53:15

Hey, bro.

00:53:17

No.

00:53:17

That's it, man. Has that ever been a tough thing in your relationships? Because you said you had two wives. What's caused some of those to go astray? What have you struggled with in relationships, do you think, man? Because you were good when you're a chauffeur, right? You were good when you're an operator. I'm in control, right? That's a control situation. I'm the one who's running everything. It's my way and the highway.

00:53:38

Well, that's something that a lot of women have a problem with, especially, and I hate to say this, and you all going to jump on me about this, Especially African-American women, because a large percentage of our African-American women have been raised in a household without a father. So that dominating or that stand-up man is not there. And they all say that they want one. But when they run into a strong guy who's going to lead and speak, they want to resist. Oh, you think you're my father? You're trying to control me? No, I'm not, darling. No, I'm not. I'm a man.

00:54:15

Lay low, wank. That's what they be yelling. Lay low, wank.

00:54:18

Yeah. Men are leaders. Allow me to lead. But a lot of African-American women, that's not in their household. You hear a lot of Black women saying, Oh, well, I don't need no man. Come on, you all. Let's stop that because that filters down to the kids. Now, your son hears you all the time saying, Oh, Well, I don't want no man. I don't need no man. Then what do you think that does to him? That lowers his self-esteem, and that makes you raise a weak man. Your daughters pick up on that same mindset, I don't need no man, and they grow up being resistant to guys trying to lead them.

00:55:05

See, that's a world that I don't know about because it's part of my universe because I live in the universe, but it's not part of my world. I don't have a lot of experience in that space. But you've struggled in marriage and stuff. How do you think if you look back on your own life, you could have been better at being somebody who loves or is loved?

00:55:27

Okay. First wife. I was streetwise, running in the street, hanging on Washington Avenue.

00:55:35

Were you wearing jerseys and shit like that?

00:55:37

No, I've never been a jersey, dude. Always just nice. I've never been the one to wear-Wearing cologne back then?

00:55:47

Yes. What kind?

00:55:49

At first it was Lagerfeld. And now, like these glasses, it's Prada.

00:55:55

Bring up that Lagerfeld. Let me get a little look at that.

00:55:57

Call Lagerfeld. Bring up that shit.

00:56:00

That splash.

00:56:00

Bingo. The original, the classic.

00:56:02

The classic, baby. Man. That splash, baby.

00:56:05

I remember growing up- Big Stan got that splash on him. One of my older brothers, a guy named Tony Panell that I really love, right? I would put on my Lagerfell and Tee would say, Yo, Ice, because that's my nickname in the Bronx. Yo, man, that stuff got you smell like a wet paper bag, man. Take that off. But the women would be doing things like, Who's wearing that? And I'd be going, Hey, your See? See? See? And Tony be going, Yo, Ice, but I don't need that to pull them. And my man TP used to pull them. Hey. He ain't need no Lagerfell.

00:56:39

He ain't need no Lagerfell, huh? Look that cologne, baby. That's the bird seed, and I have them flocking over, bro. That's how it is, man.

00:56:46

But now it's Prada. I love that Prada. And these glasses, this is my second pair of Pradas. And as you see, they are a little injured because like my first pair of Pradas, my dogs got to my Prada glasses. They destroyed them. So I bought these. Then yes, Snowy got to these again one day. She chewed off the side here, bit on my lenses, but didn't dig this, you all. I do have a brand new pair of Prada glasses at the house. I just have not had the prescription put in it yet.

00:57:18

That's all. Yeah, that's it, man. Nobody's judging that, but I feel you got to tell them you got to preach that exactly. Oh, yeah. What advice do you have to young men out there who's starting out on their path if they could look back on your path and do something different, bro? Or what have you learned in your life so far? Because you're at an interesting spot, right? You're entering that third trimester of your life, right? And it's really the master class of life in a lot of ways.

00:57:42

That's when you can give the best advice.

00:57:44

When you have at least the most experience to share from.

00:57:47

Like I'll tell anybody, the street, leave it alone. It's a lie. It's a lie. You young guys, you all want that street credibility? It's a lie. You want to sell drugs? It's a lie. You'll end up in jail, okay? You will end up killing your own dreams. This is what you do. You stay in school. Get that education, you all. Go to college. Get that education. I mean, like I told my son Ricky, when he was telling me he didn't I'm going to be a nerd. I said to him, Why, Ricky? I told him that's why I made my mistake, okay? Because I wanted to be in with the in crowd, okay? I got tired of being teased, picked on, called the professor, the scientist. So what did I do? I started I started being with the bad kids. I started dropping my grades. I told my son Ricky, it's okay to be a nerd, all right? And he's like, Nerd? I said, Bill Gates. Okay? Bill Gates was a nerd. Look at Bill Gates now. People who picked on him, the girls who laughed at him, the guys who do stuff at him.

00:58:48

They're trying to download his dick right now.

00:58:50

They would love for him to at least read a resume. It's okay to be a nerd.

00:58:54

You're right. Them bitches trying to download his dick right now.

00:58:57

My son, he's in Spain.

00:59:00

Shout out Ricky, man. He's a handsome kid. Nice kid. Yes.

00:59:03

Y'all, he looks just like me. He's just a younger, smarter, better-looking version.

00:59:10

Amen, bro.

00:59:11

He's in Spain. He's been there for almost three years now. He's getting a master's in Spanish and Spanish culture. Like I told Ricky, you do that, man. I mean, you get those degrees. I told him, I got five years taking law classes, you all. No degree. Ricky, get your degrees, man.

00:59:26

Get your shit, Ricky. Get your shit, Ricky. We need that, man.

00:59:29

And he's not a street dude. He's a good guy. Amen. You know?

00:59:33

I want to ask this, man, and blessings to Ricky and your children saying, what happened at the Fettucini? So you get over there, they got you in the burn water. What? Did they give you a room over there? What happened? Because once that side item hits your neck and your shit's dripping, bro, you got to tighten up. Yes. Man, that's so dangerous. If you get hit by a side item, then you're dripping, bro. They gave me How did you handle that?

01:00:01

They gave me an injection, and I woke up later wrapped up.

01:00:06

Just like that?

01:00:07

I woke up later, wrapped up. The doctors told me that since I drove myself from Columbia to Augusta, that I can't leave. They told me somebody has to come get me. My oldest daughter lives in Atlanta. I called Jazz. She came to get me. Naturally, my daughter was ticked. She was upset? Very At you? At the whole situation. She does not like the whole situation. And like she said to me, Daddy, you already know, and I'm not going to get on you. We'll talk about it later. So I had to respect that. She took me home. My youngest daughter, Unique, she came, checked in on me for a few days.

01:00:53

And what was it like? Did you have to stand up? Were you allowed to lay down? Did you have to sleep standing up? No.

01:00:59

You When you lay down. It's really weird because you have to change your bandage every now and then. You have to keep it clean because you have open burns.

01:01:13

Hell, yeah, Bill.

01:01:14

Now it's come back in nice because the ointment they gave me, and then I was putting Cocoa butter on it almost every day. I've recovered. My skin has recovered. My mind has recovered. Our relationship regarding that event, we've moved past it. Oh, yeah, you all moved past that. We have recovered. And now we're on to other issues that are messing with the friendship or the relationship. Got it.

01:01:49

What do the ladies need most, man, if you want to keep a lady, you think? What do the ladies need most, you think?

01:01:55

If I want to keep one, what do they need most? One, trust. Trust. Understand that during the course of my life, the serious relationships that I've had, and I do understand when people explain to me that my personality has cause the issues because I'm a friendly guy, I'm a talkative guy, I like to smile, and I'm a handsome guy. So a lot of times women- You look like Randy Moss.

01:02:23

People say that a lot?

01:02:24

No. I've heard- You look like Randy Moss?

01:02:26

Samuel Jackson.

01:02:28

Different type of dudes, man. My thing is I'm a social guy.

01:02:34

Jero Divert. Anybody ever say that? No.

01:02:36

I have a flirtatious personality. Oh, yeah, you do.

01:02:39

That don't help with relationships.

01:02:42

No, it doesn't. And I can't help it Because I'm a social guy. I love people. I like to talk. I try to keep the flirting down to a minimum, especially if I'm involved with somebody. But, you all, I'm a Scorpio. Can't help it. We out there. It's ingrained in us.

01:02:58

It's in us, man. I'm not even a Scorpio. But how about this? People say the bedroom plays a big part of the life in a relationship. Do you believe that that's true or not?

01:03:08

Yes, it does. It does because I'm 60 now. I'll be 61. There's changes going on in my body. I'm not as strong as I once was. Like in boxing, one time there was 15-round prize fights. Now they're 12 rounds. My body is beginning to fail. It's different, and that causes problems.

01:03:42

Oh, yeah. My shit's a Jake Paul fight. My shit will take a fall in the second round, you feel me?

01:03:48

I'm getting older, so the body is acting different, but the experience kicks in.

01:03:55

Okay.

01:03:56

The experience kicks in.

01:03:58

What's your biggest sexual move if you had to think physically, if you had to even...

01:04:04

My biggest sexual move or sexual act?

01:04:07

Yeah, probably act, maybe, or just ability.

01:04:10

Put it like this. For example, I love to eat fruit. I love to eat fruit, especially my little baby. I mean, I I remember in the past, I've made women speak alien. Forget speaking a foreign dialect, you all. I've made them speak alien, okay? They don't even know what the hell they even said. We get past that. We just laugh. I stop and go, What was that you said? I don't even know. Just go on and finish, okay? You know?

01:04:54

You out here duo lico. Man. Duo lingo, duo lingo, homie. You out there teaching You teach a new language, Stan.

01:05:01

Man, make them speak alien, man.

01:05:03

That's it, bro.

01:05:04

Yeah, that's it, boy. Exactly.

01:05:09

Has a ride, a passenger, ever led to a date or a relationship, even in a professional? Not at that moment, but let's talk and say, Hey, another time?

01:05:19

No, I won't do it. It's against my ethics.

01:05:24

What if a passenger starts to pass out or something? Are you licensed to know CPR? Are you licensed to know any medical skills? Do you think was there ever an emergency you had to do something?

01:05:36

No. And if there is an emergency, I'm going to do two things. I'm going to Waze, and I'm going to look for the nearest emergency room, and I'm going to hit 911.

01:05:44

Gang, gang, gang.

01:05:45

I'm not stopping at any red lights.

01:05:47

Amen, baby. What do you think about Waymos when you see them, those Waymos?

01:05:52

Waymo?

01:05:53

What's that? Bring up a Waymo, if you can, for Stan. It's a driverless car they got now.

01:06:03

No, I don't like driverless cars, man. I don't like driverless cars at all. At all. At all, because what that's going to do is eventually that's going to eliminate us chauffeurs. Okay? No, I'm not into it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. And then if that driverless car happens to hit somebody like me or my kid, I can't drag nobody out by their ankle and beat them up.

01:06:27

Yeah.

01:06:27

I've done that before. I dragged a man out of his car by his ankle in front of Lincoln Center on Christmas Day, '99. Really?

01:06:34

Yeah, man. Shit got intense, huh?

01:06:35

No, he was a taxi driver, and I had just bought a conversion van in Charlotte, and I drove it up to New York for Christmas. Now, I'm leaving New York. I'm on my way to the Lincoln Tunnel, and a cab driver hits my van after I passed him. And I asked him, Why did you hit me? I mean, I was past you. And he said something dumb. I don't even remember what it was, but at that particular time, Remember, you all, this was in '99. I still had that New York mentality. I dragged him out of his car by his ankle and beat the dude up.

01:07:10

You went to jail for it?

01:07:11

Yeah, I went to jail in Manhattan. And what happened was I had to pay his hospital bill, restitution, be good program for a year.

01:07:26

Type shit. Were you in jail for Christmas?

01:07:30

No.

01:07:30

You ever been in jail for Christmas?

01:07:33

Yes, once.

01:07:34

What's it like in there? What's that like?

01:07:36

It's not good. I was locked up in Charlotte over the holidays. There's a lot of guys that are unhappy, guys are depressed. I think I got out two days after Christmas. But that was okay. I got out and was crazy because this was with me and my second wife. Once again, I had a young lady who would drink a little. Things would go on here and there. Once again, another good girl. But it just wasn't right. I was in jail for over the Christmas thing. But once again, now we have a very good relationship. She's the mother of my daughter, Unique, and my son, T. Rick. I was young. She was young.

01:08:31

And that's it. Yeah. That's life, man.

01:08:34

Young people with issues.

01:08:40

Yeah. Every young person have issues. And then you're always young to another age. So it's like the issues never stop. Have you ever learned anything from a passenger? Has there ever been a passenger that you really learned something really valuable from?

01:08:54

Yes. I've had some passengers that I was talking to one day. It was an old couple, old couple. And I was talking about my multiple failed marriages. And they set me up, you all. The lady said to me, Oh, let me guess. You did your 50 %. They did their 50 %, right? I'm all proud. I'm like, Yeah, but it still went wrong. And they said to me, You know what? That's where you effed up. I mean, this old couple, they started getting aggressive. They told me that I was supposed to do 100 % and she was supposed to do 100 %. And that's where people mess up. And they had been together. They were in '80s or so. All their life. They told me 100 %, 100 %. You know?

01:09:44

Yeah, it's interesting because you think about it differently. That's a different approach to a marriage to a day. Oh, just because now there's two of us, we each have to do 59. Now there's two of us, we both get to do 100.

01:09:55

They said you have to do 100% all the time.

01:09:58

That's beautiful, man.

01:09:59

You know? Another thing they told me, the man told me, he told me to tell her, Yes, dear, twice as much as you say no, dear.

01:10:11

Have you ever driven any Asian people or anything like that?

01:10:20

No, I haven't had any Asians. I've had athletes, entertainers, some very, very, very rich people over the years, regular people. I really love the common man. I love the Saturday night people, those that are looking to have a good time.

01:10:41

Especially South Carolina, man. They got such a good energy over there because you got the Palmetto milling around. You got big energy over there.

01:10:51

You got the beach not too far away. From North and South Carolina, they have a good location because you have the beach, whether it's Myrtle Beach, let's see, Charleston. You have Fayetteville that you You're two, three hours away going east. Then you have two, three hours away going west. You begin to go into the mountains in North and South Carolina. You go a little further. You're over here in Tennessee. I mean, it's great. We don't get snow. We don't really have to worry too much about the hurricanes. I mean, it's great. But you definitely have to worry about mosquitoes.

01:11:35

And you got to worry about these bad bitches pulling up.

01:11:37

Man, they got the women down here. The south has the women. And since the weather is a little warmer, the women wear a little less. Make a man burn out his retina or something, man.

01:11:48

That's why you got them glasses, bro.

01:11:51

Detach a cornea looking at them, man. You know?

01:11:54

Wow, bro. I heard my own neck. That's what really happening. That's why you heard that thing, Oh, you hurt your neck.

01:11:59

Wait, wait, wait, wait. I tell people, since I have this fused neck, I'll be telling them, Man, hey, my neck is on a swivel. I mean, it's like this now. That's another thing that... What? It's good for the ladies. I got a metal neck, brother.

01:12:15

Yeah, man. We're going to be, yeah.

01:12:16

I got a metal neck. Hey, you got time, miss? We're going to be here for a while.

01:12:23

Oh, here come old metal neck.

01:12:25

You know what I mean?

01:12:28

God, dang. That's just attaching your kit into a little hitching post, baby. Here come old metal neck. Put some money in the meter. We're going to be here.

01:12:37

To see four, five, six, seven, and eight. It's all fused. It's titanium. But most people, they don't have this type mobility. I mean, Most people with this much surgery, they're a little messed up.

01:12:47

Yeah, not this though.

01:12:49

For some reason, no, man. I mean, the only thing that I can't do is hardcore things. I don't lift up stuff. I can't run because my back is fused, but I'm 60, 61. I'm not playing basketball no more. So where am I running?

01:13:03

You're chilling, bro. All you're doing is running in your future, Stan, and that's what sounds exciting. What I do love, man, is that you're still excited about your life. You're excited about your future. You're excited about love, continuing to have love out of the people you have in your life or the possibility of new love coming in your life, man. That's what life's about, man. And I think that's one thing that just your energy is, it's infectious, man. It's electric, you all. It's electric. If people want to see you, when they come in, we'll I'm going to put your info so people can reach out and chauffeur with Stan, man. It's a one-of-a-kind adventure.

01:13:37

I'm telling you, it's the Stan experience.

01:13:40

We got picked up, man. It was me, my buddy CB, my buddy... Who else was with us?

01:13:48

It was three guys with you.

01:13:49

It was my buddy CB, DJ, Parker, and me. Yeah. That's it. My tall friend Parker was there, too.

01:13:57

It was a tall guy.

01:13:59

Bro, we pulled up at that Wendy's, bro. We pulled up at the Wendy's and told that lady at the front, you was a domestic abuser. Remember that? Yeah.

01:14:06

We had the young lady at-And she was still flirt with you. At the Wendy's tongue-tied.

01:14:10

Yeah. And she was still flirt with you. She tried to give you an extra little Freeze it. Freeze it.

01:14:17

No. I mean- And then that lady, remember we had to pull a four to get that last sandwich.

01:14:23

When they say that shit, we're the only person in line. Can you pull forward and wait?

01:14:26

Yeah, that's right. Yeah, that's what I was talking about. Pull up. And I happen to look in the mirror, I'm like, What? Is there a crowd behind us or something?

01:14:33

You know what I mean? Bro, just make four sandwiches. It's like they can make three, but they can't make four, man.

01:14:39

They had to come up, talk about, Oh, it's a special order.

01:14:43

Yeah, I mean, bro.

01:14:44

I mean, that's what you do.

01:14:46

Yeah. But blessings, man. That was a great experience. We had a great time, man. I just want to thank you so much for coming and hanging out. So anybody could be a chauffeur, but it takes... It's not just you driving, it's driving an experience for people. It's setting yourself secondary to your customer, making sure to keep space between you and the car in front of you, keep your head on a swivel.

01:15:09

Make sure that they have a good time.

01:15:11

And make sure that they have a good time. That's what Stan does, man. Stan, thank you so much, bro, for spending time and hanging out, bro. All the love. Good luck to the Gamecox the rest of the season, man.

01:15:21

Yeah.

01:15:21

Thanks, Theo. And maybe we'll get to do this again sometime.

01:15:24

Hey, brother, anytime, man. I mean, I'm in Colombia. This is only... I'll get my Jeep and drive here, man. It's only seven and a half hours away. 77 straight to Statesville, make that left and get on I-40 and get off right over here.

01:15:40

What's the longest ride you ever had to take somebody on?

01:15:43

I took some people from Columbia to Jackson, Mississippi, because they are restauranters. They have a restaurant in the Columbia Airport, and they were opening up one in the Jackson, Mississippi airport. We were there for three or four days. I drove them back. That was a nice little drive.

01:16:02

What was the tab on that when you think?

01:16:04

I have no idea.

01:16:05

You don't know. That's not your deal.

01:16:06

No. I've taken some other people to Orlando, down to the hotel. I guess they were going to Disney. But as a New Yorker, I'm conditioned to drive up to the Bronx at a phone call. Somebody call, Hey, man, this, that, and the other is going on. You know, family. I may have to go.

01:16:27

Any ladies of the night, you ever drive any Ladies of the Night? Any escort? Oh, my God.

01:16:32

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Really? Oh, yes, yes, yes. And at one point in Charlotte, I was the driver for this dude that had about three or four girls who stayed at this house. He told me he was their manager, and I was their driver. One of the young ladies, she picked me and I drove them to their appointments. But like I told the girls, I'll drop I'm not sitting outside. I will come back and pick you up because if you're sitting outside, then you're part of the organization if they get arrested. No, I'm paid transportation. I drop off and then I come back and get them. But I had to leave them alone. I was making a little money off them. And then one day the guy...

01:17:20

The manager?

01:17:20

Yeah, the manager. I think he called himself script or something dumb like that. He said to me, Hey, Stan, man, I need to talk to you about a payment arrangement. I'm like, A payment arrangement? What you're talking about? He going to say to me, Man, you think I could pay you in pink? I said, In pink? What the fuck are you talking about? He said, Man, like the females. I told him, No, dog, I don't want that nasty shit. I got a woman home. I get out of my bed for green. Now, that's what You can pay me green money. You know what pink? I don't want no pink.

01:17:49

And what did it seem like them ladies? It seemed like they were doing okay because that's a fair job. They just out there getting their money.

01:17:54

Brother, dumb young ladies are all cute. All of them look nice. Monday. Mondays and Thursdays, they're going to do their nails, something like Wednesdays. Wait, Thursdays would be nails and hair because they got to get ready for the weekend. Monday, they're trying to straighten themselves up from the weekend.

01:18:16

Tuesday and Wednesday hit the gym a little.

01:18:19

Yeah, they were cool. What I didn't like was when the girls were trying to flash to her like me. Whoa, wait a minute. That shit doesn't impress me. As a matter of fact, put that away.

01:18:31

I don't need that.

01:18:32

No, put that away. That's not part of the thing.

01:18:36

Yeah, because that's a big industry, man. I have friends that are working in sex, working stuff like that, and that's a big industry. What else was I thinking about? Let me see this. This is one more thing, actually, I want to say this. Is stabbing someone above the waist worse than below the waist legally? Stabbing someone above the waist is generally considered more serious legally because it increases the risk of severe injury or death. Legal consequences for stabbing above the waist can be harsher as it may be classified as attempted murder. That's it. Stabbing below the waist while still a serious felony may sometimes be considered less immediately life-threatening unless it causes delociability or hits major arteries. So that's it, man. Hit them low, boy. They don't see you coming, baby. Man. Hit them low. Stan, we love you, bro. Thank you for pulling up, man. Blessings to you. We'll see you in the future, baby. Yes.

01:19:30

Other than that, people, if you're looking for me, you can also keep an eye on the O-G poet because I do poetry, you all, and I'm fierce.

01:19:40

He is. I've heard him do some last time when we were in your car, right before you dropped us off. You did a couple for us. Maybe we'll have you come back and do some next time.

01:19:48

Other than that, people, you all know how to contact me. Give you all the avenues to contact me. If you want me to come do some poetry, I got some for you all.

01:19:58

Yeah, we'll make sure that all your information is in there, dude, and that people can... But there's just nobody better. If you want to have an experience as Columbia, South Carolina, I don't think there could be a better one.

01:20:08

No, I got you all. We're going to have a good time.

01:20:11

Then with this man right here. Thank you, Stan. All right.

01:20:13

Now, I'm just floating on the breeze, and I feel I'm falling like these leaves. I must be cornerstone. Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found I it in my bones. But it's going to take.

AI Transcription provided by HappyScribe
Episode description

Stan is a chauffeur and driver who was born and raised in the Bronx, but currently operates in the Columbia, SC area. 

Theo and Stan talk about his journey from New York to the South,  the proper etiquette of being a Chauffeur, and what he’s learned about women over the years. 

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