Transcript of Big Al-mageddon: Monday, April 20th, 2026 New

Good morning, girlies. It's the Toast.

It's Jackson, Claude, and we're your hosts.

It's your favorite show, the fast 5 things you need to know. We'll start your day off swirly. It's the Toast.

I sound amazing.

Welcome back to the Toast and happy Monday. Monday after Weekend 2 of Coachella doesn't hit quite as hard as the Monday after weekend 1 of Coachella, but the girls were out, they were having fun.

Yeah, it's like a third story, you know, it's not a first story.

Yeah. And there actually is a lot to discuss. It was kind of a juicy weekend between Wes and Amanda going to the Yankee game, which is like seriously the craziest thing I've ever seen in my life. Alex Earl gave us like Nothing 2.0, but it's worth discussing. And we just like have to catch up with one another cuz we're fabulous ladies who like, you know, probably partied all weekend.

Oh yeah. It's also been like one whole week since since Licks vs Lex.

That's insane because it was the best week of my life. Um, that is insane that it's only been a week because it was like, happy Monday. Yeah, what you hear at like the gates of hell. Um, how was your weekend? I barely even spoke to you. How's your kitchen reno coming along?

It's going really well. They're actually working right now, so if you hear anything, just know that it's the Sweet sounds of having a microwave installed.

Wow.

I am fine.

What are you gonna do with like your antique microwave that you just have to like bring out and plug in?

Um, I'm gonna throw it away. I'm gonna throw it in the bin.

It's really 15 years old?

No, that one is like 3 years old, but I've had a version of it for the last 10 years because, I mean, it's all in the vlog, but I've actually like weirdly never lived in a place that has a microwave built in. So this is gonna be major gains for me and I'm so excited to have my counter.

I'm surprised you mess around with a microwave. Like it's so So not you.

I'm definitely cautious about the way in which I engage with my microwave.

Yeah, I want to say, um, the older I get, the more I understand Lindsay Lohan's mom in Confessions of a Teenage Traumatized. Of course. Because one thing about my son, he eats cold food. I will never— because we batch a lot of his like solids, we like freeze stuff, we make stuff for the week. And sorry, if a mama forgets to take it out like an hour before, you're eating it cold. I'm not putting in the microwave.

Yeah, but when I do engage with my microwave. Like, of course, like, it's in glass, not never plastic, and I try and be thoughtful about it, but sometimes, like, you do need a microwave. And for my guests, like, I just don't want to be that person that's like, oh, we can't go over there, she doesn't have a microwave. Like, I'll have a microwave, sure, use it if you want.

Yeah.

But you know what I've heard? You know what the streets are saying about the Wave? The new thing in heating technology is a warming drawer. That's what the mamas are saying.

That's what— are you having one put in your new kitchen?

So I'm not, because, uh, it wasn't in the plans, and I think that's like, you know, my next kitchen I'm gonna have a warming drawer. But just know what's trending apparently are warming drawers, because like you could cook dinner at like 3 o'clock, keep it in the warming drawer, right? It stays warm till dinner.

I love that.

I love that too. So I'm just sort of letting that idea percolate, not to use the word, since, um, Dave Portnoy, you may use that word in his Tea by the Sea video, and now I'm just like feeling like the percolatiousness.

I'm definitely feeling the pargelicious percolatiousness as well. Um, I did something crazy over the weekend.

What did you do? I can answer however I want.

Oh no, Jackie's succumbing to the hate.

No, I'm not, but it's like, okay, I'm, I'm down to evolve with it. Like, I, I don't want to throw it in the garbage, but like, let's workshop, you know?

I taught Tati how to play mahjong.

Oh, I knew that.

I taught Tati how to play mahjong. So like, my crew is growing. I just like to have— that was in-house. Yeah, I need to have an in-house foursome. That's a hard part about mahjong when you love the game but you also like are quite insular. You need 3 other people.

When you hate the players but you love the game.

Love the game. So I got Ben, even though actually for my mental health I need to stop playing with him. He is so slow. And yeah, of course you need time to think, but that's not even what I'm talking about. Like when you need to pick up a tile, like a normal person goes like this, Ben will go like this. Like, I just can't fucking play with him, but I'm desperate. So Ben is my second. My friend Margo is my third. She's like always down. And now I have Sachi Lu, and she played with me twice this weekend. I need to keep growing my like insular circle of like people who have like flex jobs.

You need to like teach Ruby how to play.

Literally. Well, I was thinking of actually hosting a class at my house. Like anybody wants to play and it's gonna be, you know, available to me. Come learn.

Do you have a lot of friends who don't know how to play?

I would say most of my friends know how to play, but like I keep encountering people and they're like, oh, I want to learn. Fuck it, learn, bitch.

Like, oh, so you're going to teach everyone? Well, that says a lot about you.

I want all those people in my house. I know, I just like want to sort of spread love.

You need to make neighbor friends. I'm kind of a leader in my community. You need to make neighbor friends.

I did. Annette, like, and she doesn't know how to play, so she was going to come to my class too.

Like, so Annette needs to learn how to play. Like, my next door neighbor plays, and so it's like nice. This weekend I was talking to Olivia, we sort of had like the itch to play at night, but like in a casual manner where like Kids go down, like, we're in our pajamas, let's just play. So I was like, let me text my neighbors, my next door neighbors. We can play on the lot line.

Yeah. Um, I know two of my neighbors and I asked them both and neither of them play.

Oh, oh, okay. So they're gonna have to educate themselves. Correct.

And everybody's like, well, I wanna learn. And it's like, okay, so start Claudia.

If you wanted to, you would.

A thousand percent.

If you wanted to, you would.

So I took the time to teach Sachi, which I was glad for. Um, so I spent a lot of time with Sachi this weekend. Yeah, I was with her last night and the night before last. So like, and what's like the latest?

Headlines from Satch worldwide.

From Satchella?

No, like just from like Satch, from the Satchy Times.

Well, the place looks great. Of course it always does.

Oh my God, last night the kids and Olivia's kids, we all played in my house like all afternoon, tore up the house. I'm just like, go crazy, I, I literally have no energy. And then we were eating dinner and the place was like upside down. I go, the place looks great. It always does.

It always does.

Thank you.

So Sachi was in, in, in the presen— I was in the presence of Sachi. We just like pretty much kept saying that the whole night.

I can't stop saying it.

And there's something that I feel like it always does.

There's something I've been like really excited for coming up and it's like soon I will know how it feels.

Of course. No. And Sachi actually texted me last night about something she was looking forward to for wikes.

We need to watch more of the video because literally in the, in the 1 minute that we watched, we have sound bites for life. Sound bites for life.

Totally. Um, so I feel like in terms of like catching up in a personal sense, I don't really have a lot to share.

Oh, that felt like really quick.

No, I know, it was just kind of like a low-key weekend. We were transitioning to one nap. I know, like we're really advanced. I don't want to talk about it. Um, And I really don't want to talk about it, like, stop asking me, you guys. And what else, what else? You know, tea, tea, tea, the life of me, the life of a mother, the life of a mother.

Lots of mothering this weekend, I would say, from your girl.

Yeah, we took a trip to the suburbs and I feel as though like Ben got the itch, you know, you got to scratch it. Well, you know, Ben has never lived anywhere outside of the city, and it's so crazy cuz he's so house, right? Like barbecue, putting green, you know? And so we went to visit our friends who had recently made the journey to Scarsdale, and we just had a fabulous time, like a back deck BBQ. And when we were in the car, like, Ben was just like talking about it, and I was like, oh, he's ready, he's ready.

Oh my gosh, are you ready for house? I just feel like you're never going to live in a house.

I can't.

I'm physically unable. Do they have apartments in Scarsdale?

Right, like I cannot live in a house, like because somebody could just walk right in. It's insane. The fact that people like, you know, live on the ground level, I just, it's insane to me. Like, aren't you afraid all the time?

Well, you could have a gate.

Who cares?

And a fence.

People jump them, like they don't care.

Yeah.

I've seen SVU. I've watched way too much SVU from such a young age to ever live in a house.

By the way, they all take place in the city in apartments, so like I don't know. No, they go to the outer boroughs.

They're in Yonkers a lot.

No, like, it's literally only— that shouldn't scare you off of a house. Other things could, but SVU, there's only scary— you off of the city.

And like, houses are sort of like living beings. They just breathe, you know? They make sounds, they fart, they burp. Like, I could— like, I would just have to sleep with one eye permanently fucking open.

One eye open when I'm sleeping.

One eye One eye open when I'm sleeping. One eye— remember like the toast, like week or month where I could not stop saying that?

Yeah, we— I remember, I think we were on a vacation, we were vlogging something, and I think we were doing shot or truth. What's that game? Sip or drink or truth?

Yeah, whatever.

Sip or see. Um, and you were like drinking, and that's all— that's all you contributed to the vlog was one eye open when I'm sleeping.

Sounds like an amazing vlog. So glad to have been a part of it.

Yeah, it was really cute. I think we were upstate. I think I was pregnant.

Oh, we're so cute.

There's so much cute stuff on the Patreon. It's all there still. Like, if you join today, you could go watch that vlog from 2021.

It's sort of like a historical— oh, I cannot believe I talked about my weekend without talking about what I actually did all weekend. I watched Rick Burns' New York. Now obviously it's a 14-hour documentary But I understand now, like, why you made it your personality at the time, because it's like, yeah, I'm watching Rick Burns' New York. What are you doing, slob? Like, I am so elevated. I get in bed and I watch like a historical documentary and I actually really enjoy it, except for the fact that it's so boring and sleepy. I cannot stop falling asleep. I keep having to start over the next day. I did finally get to the Central Park part and I fell asleep right when it started. Like, I took a nap tonight. You'll watch it I saw like the first 10 minutes and then I fell asleep because it was during like Ruby's nap time, so I started taking a nap. And it was just like, it's so, it's so good. It's so sleepy, like the voice and the music and just like the content. It's very soothing. I feel like I'm learning a lot, and I love learning, you know?

Yeah, Ben likes it too. Yeah.

Oh, Ben loves it and he's telling everyone about it. Ben is like so funny. He like just can't keep things in home. Not that it's like a secret that we're watching it, but Literally, we— every time we were playing mahjong, we saw his parents, we went into Scar Cell, telling everyone. And all these people are texting me, what was that documentary called? So like, we're truly spreading the word of Rick Burns, a novel filmmaker.

3 years. When did I watch it? I think I watched it when I was pregnant with Harry. Like, why don't you just fucking listen to me when I say things the first time?

Okay, so I would have watched it then and hated it. Is that what you want? Like, I would have liked it then. Yeah, I wasn't in the space for it.

I'm in the space for it now.

My God, like, I'm giving you credit.

I wasn't hearing a lot of credit, but it's not even about the credit of the Rick Burns. It's like, of course not.

What's it about?

It's about going forward, you know?

In what sense?

Going forward that you could maybe like, we could be simpatico on them, you know?

Yeah, I understand you have a chip on your shoulder because you like did a couple of things first and then I years later like finally watched them, but I feel like years ago I would have not watched.

No, because we could have enjoyed it together. That's why. Okay, but I feel like years ago.

I acknowledge that, like, yeah, you're on to things before me. Like, congrats. Like, that's great. I'm happy for you.

I don't give you credit for being on to them before you. I'm just hoping on the next one, like, we could sync up. Great.

Like, sorry that it already happened. Like, I don't know what you want me to say.

So for the next one, we'll sync up. You're saying—

so like what? Like what? Because I feel like we're synced now. Like, I trust you now, and I'm always listening to your recommendations. But sorry, you watched Downton Abbey and you got a Kindle and you watched Rick Burns New York like 10 fucking years ago. Sorry, you're like an 80-year-old living in the body of a 25-year-old. I'm sorry that I'm Acting my age.

25. I'll add it to the list.

How old were you when you watched Downton Abbey?

I was pregnant with Harry.

Oh, so clearly like you went through like a grandma phase when you were pregnant. Like, sorry I wasn't also pregnant.

Like, it's not a phase, it's a way of life. Um, also, did you start Strangers?

Oh my God, no. I tried to order it on Amazon.

What do you mean, you don't have a Kindle?

I do, but I'm like really not in my Kindle phase. First of all, I don't know where it is. Like, I can't buy another one. Like, I just—

because you don't have one.

And the one that I do have, like, I cannot find the charger for it. And you guys know me, I have like a saga. I have lost every Kindle I've ever owned.

On your Kindle?

I, I just cannot buy another Kindle. So I ordered it on Amazon, and it must be like going in for a second printing because it was Prime, but it's gonna take like 4 days. Oh, I think it'll be here tomorrow.

I can't believe you don't have a work— like a Kindle right now. That's really crazy.

Like, if I went looking for it, I might find it.

I feel like you just like fart Kindles. Like, you say Kindle and one falls into your lap. Like, everyone's always sending them to you.

The Amazon team is extremely generous with their gifting. So when I say I've lost every Kindle I've ever owned, just know I've actually never bought one, which is, you know, on my part.

Maybe if you bought one, you—

I would know what it's like to like know the value of a Kindle.

Yeah, like sometimes when something comes so easy, it's easy come, easy go. But when you buy one, you know how you feel when you buy something? It's like Yeah, yeah.

But I'm also like, I like these days, like, reading a book, getting in bed.

Because it's very— because you guys do it together, like, the lights are on.

No, no, but just like something about like turning a page, it's so natural, you know, so quaint. Yeah. And then of course, if I ever leave the house with my book, how will people know that I'm like reading something, like, the book of the moment, which is Strangers by Belle Burden?

Yeah, it really is. Everybody's talking about it, don't you find?

And they're adapting it. Who's playing?

Gwyneth Paltrow is playing her, I believe.

Yeah. Okay, I love that. I've seen pictures and videos of Miss Spurden, but I don't know what the subject of the book is. But between her— I know it's about a divorce, and you know, Gwyneth obviously has experience in the conscious uncoupling. And it's about like a wealthy blonde woman.

I—

yeah, if there's a story about a wealthy blonde woman, I only want to be played by Gwyneth Paltrow.

Yeah, okay. I look forward to discussing the movie once you've read the book because I have some, some thoughts, but I don't want to spoil anything.

The internet was ablaze this weekend. I do feel like we can dive in between the Yankee game and just like so much going on. Bieber Tell Apart 2.

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Thank you, T-Turt.

You're welcome, J-Jert.

I was just like looking at the stories again on People magazine, and who do I see? My sister Claudia. Ashre, you were one of the topic came out an hour ago. You're talking about like your good stuff, you know, you're talking about, oh, like your new partnership and your release.

Oh yeah, I forgot. I sort of— thank you, I sort of buried the lead. I'm one— yeah, some like big major news coming out today. I totally forgot.

You're the news.

Yes, you know, I get a lot of requests from high-end brands, right? You know, fashion, beauty, and a lot of people want to work with me and I'm very choosy, of course. Right?

Of course.

And so, yes, that People magazine article. Today is the announcement. I am very proud to be one of the new faces of Dulce Luxe. It just feels right, you know what I mean?

It just feels right. Feels right.

Like I didn't even need product. Do you know what I mean? They were like, can we send you products? I was like, no, I'm all set.

All set. Thanks.

Thanks so much.

Well, what a fun treat to see you in the news as I scrolled about my day. Our first story: Alex Earle seemingly sends pointed message to Alice Cooper with a song choice in her new pole dancing video. So as we wait for the Earle response, we are getting a video of her pole dancing along to the track You Don't Own Me, which for those who don't know goes, don't you don't tell me what to do, don't tell me what to say. Very pointed, I would say, and not just to Cooper to herself, but to everyone who's like, tick-tock on the clock, you have to say your piece.

Oh, I thought it was actually like exclusively directed at Alex Cooper because she didn't. And I think now in hindsight, like, when her immediate response was like, okay, I'm on it, was more sarcastic, being like, I'm not listening to you, bitch. Like, what, you're gonna tell me what to do? You're not my boss anymore. Yeah, so I don't— I didn't feel like she was talking to me. Maybe she was.

No, I felt like she was like, number one, Alex Cooper, but also like everyone else. Don't tell me what to do, don't tell me what to say. She's gonna do it on her own time. I think that we can sort of say now, like, oh, response TikTok is not coming.

No, no. And there were, you know, theories that because her original video of her waking up with Sally and her sister was filmed horizontally, that it was being used for their reality show, and this was just like a sneak peek. And this— and yes, I, I agree now. And in that video, she's doing like a stripper pole class dancing, and you see there's a camera crew. They keep like popping in and out of frame on the left side. So yeah, she pretty much confirmed that this whole thing will be addressed in her reality show. And like, I do respect the hustle, and you know, it's like us with Patreon. Like, I get it.

Yeah, but Patreon, we can do it immediately, is instant.

And this is actually just simply not going to work for me.

Yeah, I want to just also say, like, this is a crazy response. Like, the pole dancing— the pole dancing— and that's what I like about her. Like, and because I do feel like I'm really a different generation than her, the way that she's like moving in this saga is so unexpected to me. Yeah, even posting the video of herself watching the thing and then just like laughing and nothing else, I'm like, wait, that's, that's just like not what I would expect. So again, this pole dancing video, I'm like, these are crazy ways to handle it, but she's like seriously such a pro and so good at what she does that I have no doubt in her. I'm just like, wow, we're, we're from a different time.

And also, I don't know if this is a part of it, because so much of what she's been posting doesn't seem strategic at all. But like, you know, never interrupt your enemy when they're making a mistake. Like, she— Alex Cooper posted this video. I think it completely backfired, had such a negative— I'm now seeing, I met Alex Earl on a plane once and she was snide, and I'm ex-Alex Cooper and she bullied me, you know, like going back, combing through every video she's ever posted. It's had a very negative and I think backfired effect on Alex Cooper. So like, why would Alex Earl interrupt that? Like, You started this. I'm all good. Everybody loves me and I haven't even said anything yet. Like, I'm sad.

It's true. That's a really good point.

I mean, I wouldn't respond like, because you know the internet is so— remember Dramageddon? It was like James's video came out, oh yeah, justice for James! And then Tati's videos came out, oh, James is disgusting, he's a pedophile! Like, the internet is so fickle that, you know what, like, yeah, I would be sad too, even though like personally I'm disappointed.

Yeah.

In terms of like she's trying to win this, even though she does need to tell her friend Brianna Chickenfry to shut the fuck up. Because I think that's kind of been the only like bad look for Team Alex Earle is Brianna Chickenfry like inserted herself right in the middle and hyped up Alex Earle more, being like, well, I hate you because what you did to my friend, and I cannot wait for my friend to tell everyone. Then her friend doesn't say anything, and then Brianna Chickenfry keeps teasing this podcast episode where she spills like all this tea, and I guess it came out yesterday. And I don't think it moved. Nobody moves. I don't think it made a real impact. And she's just like going on and on about her and Grace again, and it's like— so that's like the only thing that's sort of like not rocking on Team Lix.

Yeah.

And because I think out of all of this, Alex Cooper has looked the best, and I think like provided the most proof. And like, she— I feel like she's been sort of vindicated, justified in the Alex— I mean, in the Brianna chicken fry thing.

Yeah. Yeah, I would agree. So this is where we are at now. I guess we'll wait for the show. Hopefully they can do it lickety-split. And I guess it does incentivize Netflix to put her on the air sooner, you know. Sometimes you have to like wait for your airtime, like look at Love Thy Nader. But like, if you're dangling this in front of Netflix, like, this is literally one of the top 3 stories of pop culture this year so far. It's just been a really competitive year so far.

Um, it has.

They're gonna feel incentivized to get it up, and that's, that's a pretty good move on her part. But I agree with what you said, it's just like not strategic the way she's moving, and That's just like so refreshing to me. Like, I, I, and just so unexpected.

I guess it's very Gen Z. I don't know, this is, these are not my people, but yeah, it like, in the days of yore, like the drama I've always participated in, it's been like extremely well-timed, extremely strategic crisis PR. Like, I guess she doesn't give a fuck, like, or she, or at least that's what she wants to put out, that she doesn't care, unbothered.

Also, for how history will remember this saga, I would like to propose like another title, um, We don't have a good one. Okay, what about Al-Mageddon? Just think about it.

So I love it. I like— I don't know if we can also use Armageddon again, you know, like, but I love it.

Okay, just, you know, I feel like I've thrown out a lot of options, like, like Licks for Sex.

You've done your part.

Licks for Sex is just a little chewy.

A little chewy?

Chewy, like it's got a lot of syllables. Like, like, you know what I mean? Almageddon sort of rolls off the tongue. Speaking of, we also need to talk about the most recent Tea by the Sea that Dave put out about what he thinks.

Deoxymo.

Deoxymo. And also what he has heard, because I feel like he's been waiting for both sides and now he's just like wants to pontificate on the situation. And so he's sharing what he's heard, which was— and yes, oh yeah, which was a new tidbit that Alex Earl wanted to leave Unwell, as we all know, and Alex Cooper really wouldn't let her and instead more or less blackmailed her into staying.

Yeah, like with a recording or something, and like trying—

like threatening to cancel her.

Well, that backfired.

Yeah. And if that's true, I have a zero tolerance policy.

Of course I would hope so.

I have a zero tolerance policy for blackmail and cancelation. Just so you know. Okay, I don't give grace there, but I will. And are you—

I feel like you're referencing like that where that's happened before. Who?

No, no, I just think that's an awful thing to do. Of course, like, that's different.

Like, because all who acts like that, who does she think she is, James Gandolfini? Like, that's insane.

No, but also, like, I could understand, you know, Alex R wants to leave the network, but you signed a contract. Sorry you don't like it. Sorry. Like, so I'm just not automatically team Earl for wanting to leave. Like, I understand this is a business, you know, blah blah blah.

Of course.

Um, so I could have a little bit of tolerance for running a business, but I don't have tolerance for blackmail and extortion. That's right.

I'm glad to hear that you and I are aligned, like, philosophically on that. I think a lot of people are as well.

I'm just saying, like, that if anyone wanted to know where I stand, that's like Liz Woods always posed What's that meme from?

I think— I hate crime. I'm violently against it.

I'm against crime.

Slay.

Yeah. So yes, I'm against blackmail, extortion, and threatening cancelation. Agreed. No good.

That has no place in our community.

I'm crying.

So I guess this sort of like marks the end for now.

We'll put a pin in it. And then what do you—

oh, I don't want to put a pin in it. I was having so much fun.

I think Little Things Well, like, it could be like fourth and fifth stories, like maybe throughout the week, you know, if Chicken Fry keeps yapping and D keeps yapping. Yeah, and DeMoxximo. Yeah, so we'll see. Let's just set it down for— it's gotten, you know, I think we do need to cool off.

It got a little crazy.

Yeah. Are you ready for our next story? Something that's getting crazier is Summer House drama. Two things, two things. First, Amanda and Wes Wilson were spotted enjoying a baseball game. They were at the Yankees game, they were put on the Jumbotron, and they kissed.

Um, okay, they were put on the Jumbotron, which is so crazy because like, where they put us on the Jumbotron— when you go to a sporting event, there are two types of people on the Jumbotron. They do like a celebrity row, you know, like famous people at the game, and then they also just put like randos. And I have a hard time believing they just like happen smart been to have chosen these two randoms.

They're— the person doing the camera knew who they were. Okay, of course.

And then the lip readers say that when they were on the Jumbotron, Amanda said, look like you like me, act like you like me.

And I just want to say, I usually don't go for stuff like this, but someone slowed it down and they played it over and over and over again. And by the end you can see, act like you like me, you know. And then he gives her a peck, and then he like looks like so miserable and like he's regretting every choice that he made over the last two months. Obviously also like doesn't want to look that way and appear that way. And I think does care about Amanda, it's not gonna just like leave her. But I'm just telling you, this guy is not having a good time.

Oh my God, he has one foot out the door. But I think they both have made a commitment to one another because this thing is so bad if they don't at least date for a couple of months. Like if it was just a one-time thing, it's so bad for her, it's bad for both of them. I think he knows that like the situation will get worse if he ends up doing to Amanda what he does to every girl. So he has to like act like he's not a piece of shit for a couple of months. But I think he can't stand her.

I don't— I just want him to know I don't need him to now prove like that he's not that guy, like with Amanda.

Like, no, but like we always say, like, well, if they get married, like this wasn't so bad.

He's allowed to stay being him. They're not getting married, Claudia. They can't even make it away.

Of course not.

Of course not.

But the situation lessens, like the crime lessens the longer they are together, you know?

Yeah, but if they—

it wasn't just this one night stand.

It would have been better as a one night stand, cuz that's a mistake that can be forgiven. The situation that they're in right this moment is the absolute worst one of like, we are going to throw away everything, we don't care about you, your feelings, our fans, etc., to explore a feeling that's like not even really strong enough because we're not going to make it.

Yes. I also don't know, I think they're both like relatively committed to just emerging 100%, not like a slow re-entry. They just want to be out and about. Like, I think they think it'll like quicken up the process of whatever's gonna happen. But I don't know why the hell she went to that game. She was so fabissima the whole time. Every picture, every video, she has her feet up on the chair in front of her, which is just disrespectful, you know? And she just looks so Miz. And then she's on the jump-a-tron being like, act like you like it.

Child sits like that. She looked like a, like a petulant toddler, like, I was like mad that they had to go to this event.

So don't.

Yeah, not a good look. Not a good showing.

And I think this week is a Summer House reunion taping, so like, I personally cannot wait. I need them to just air it completely unedited. Like, I don't want to miss a minute. I'll watch. I know they take like 12 hours. Okay, I'll watch 12 hours.

Yeah, like stream it on Peacock. The way I feel about Amanda now is like how I felt about Lucy in Tell Me Lies.

Like, yes, that's the perfect comparison.

Like, I can't feel transferred. I think like, I guess Amanda could like—

no, she really can't—

to a different country or something, but that's a bummer.

Yeah, it's hard to champion people who don't champion themselves. Yeah. And as the great Gracie Lou Freebush once said, people care about people that care about themselves.

But it seems like she only cared about herself in this situation, and that— and that didn't work.

No, I was just making like a movie reference, but I appreciate you using it as a moment to not agree with my call.

No, I was just using it as a moment. I was really internalizing what you said. So next time I should just skim over what you say?

When, like, when it's a movie reference, yeah. Like, I was just referencing a great quote.

So I'm not disagreeing with you, I'm actually disagreeing with Gracie Lou Freebush and the writers.

You do not agree with people care about people who care about themselves?

To a degree, but I would say this is the—

she was saying it on like a more physical level, being like, girl, put a clip in your hair, people care about people who care about themselves.

That I, that I agree with. Yeah, but like, I think Amanda cared about Amanda's self a little too much here.

Agreed.

She should have cared about other self.

Yeah, Sierra's Glamor article like was extremely well received. She was talking about that kind of now famous photo of her in the, in the white dress sitting on the street, and she was like, not filming, but she's not filming.

You said it like that.

I did. Honestly, it is my new vocal stim. Oh my God, and what's her name out with Marciano? Is she okay? She's lost me. Did you see they went to a concert together, like holding hands? She was on his shoulders.

Up until now, I just was able to tell myself that she's like doing this for the show and like to move the storyline along.

But Jackie, but they're not filming.

But they're not filming. And like, going to a Lani concert, like, that's, that's a lot. And I think they're like actually seeing each other, which is really, really crazy.

It's crazy because it is a check in Jordan's column, which is insane because nobody hates him more than me. Yeah, but maybe your emotional affair was more serious than everybody made it out to be.

Like, no, I just can't understand the idea of like this person Marciano like almost ruined your life at the time, like spreading this lie that was a clear lie. Like how you could ever like want love and like be attracted to someone like that ever again, I don't understand that.

Yeah, at your big age, like making such bad decisions. I genuinely like, I cannot support you.

I don't understand how you can like love someone like, or even engage with someone who tried to take you down.

I know Jesse listens to the show. Like, Jesse, listen, we can help you, okay?

But I am hopeful that she— that there's more that we don't know because she was really so fantastic when I met her. Like, I'm gonna trust my— I know, I'm trusting my fave here.

I know. And like, the girl that you met, like, wouldn't make a decision like that.

I'm trusting my fave. I'm going to.

Okay, okay. That's really beautiful. Yeah, Jesse, if you need help, reach out, okay?

Yeah.

Every time I make like a call to action to Jesse, she responds. Like, the last time I did it, I was like, Jesse, I know it's hard and you have young kids, but please leave your husband. And she DM'd me like 2 days before they announced. She was like, we're getting a divorce. Okay, so like, Jesse, tell me this Marciano thing is fake. Like, tell me something.

Make it make sense. Just make it make sense, whatever it is.

Make it make sense. Yes.

Um, also Summer House related is that Kyle Cook was spotted king kissing Megan King Edmonds in the streets.

Okay, okay.

Kyle, not only King Edmonds spotted after, uh, Megan King—

she dropped the Edmonds for me.

Like, I—

she will always be MKE.

Yes, yes, Jackie.

When I saw this, first of all, this is such an amazing, crazy, psychotic story for two reasons. One, like, the most unlikely pairing. Even though we all forget because he acts like a 17-year-old, Kyle Cooke is well into his 40s.

He's 43 and she's 41.

Oh my God, that's insane that he's older than her. Okay, so like, yes, on its face It makes sense, right? A 43-year-old and a 41-year-old who work on the same company. It's like, it's giving, um, astronomer. Like, it's just whatever. But this is so crazy for two reasons. Like, one, I, I think this is the craziest, most unlikely pairing of people on the planet. Like, I just can't get over it. And two, the video itself is one of the most disturbing kisses I've ever seen in my life. Like, it's insane. And if a moment— like, it's so personal and intimate. Not in like a sexy way, in an embarrassing way. Like, I could never really be famous. I couldn't. Like, having moments like this recorded— and shout out to like the random stranger who knew who these people were and like stood on the street corner and filmed it.

They were leaving a Page Six party, so it might have been like another partygoer. I don't think it's like so random, you know? Like, they weren't just like having a quiet night out. And it was like, do you think this is their first kiss?

Kiss. I mean, it looked like their first kiss ever with any other human being. Like, the kiss was so platonic.

That gives like, not your first kiss with this person then, because like, you do your big one for your first kiss. Like, you kiss in random ways when you're later kisses.

He had both— and he's shorter than her— he had both hands on her shoulders in a sort of like bro-y, like football kind of way. And then the second it was over, she just like grabbed her phone. It so weird. Like, I seriously— I watched it 100 times. Like, I couldn't believe it.

So do you ship?

No, no, no, no, um, no, I don't.

I don't not ship.

Like, I don't hate Megan King Edmonds. Like, continues to be one of the craziest women on Bravo. Like, yeah, her impact was so— like, she— her time was so short, but her impact was so long-lasting. Brooks. Brooks.

That's so crazy. That was the craziest thing that ever happened on Bravo.

That is— yeah, we forget it because like Scandaval and now Scamanda, but like, yeah, a psychic signal to them that Brooks was faking his cancer.

Do you know how fucking crazy that is?

And she and anyone else who brought it up, it was kind of like Munchausen's with Yolanda. Like, obviously this woman had Munchausen's, like she was completely fine. Um, and yeah, like, shout out, in hindsight she was the villain, but like, Lisa Rinna was so real for that. Like, there was something deeply wrong with Yolanda Hadid mentally. Physically she was fine, and she kind of became the villain for that, like, for saying the unpopular thing. But I guess you can't prove Munchausen's. You can prove if somebody is faking cancer, and it was extremely brave of her to actually say it out loud. Like, yeah, we all just could have like tossed aside what the psychic said, but she called that facility Newport Imaging.

That's so crazy. That was so crazy.

Faking cancer is like a thing.

Is it?

Yeah, it's like a trope. Like, people do it a lot. There's a girl on TikTok who, um, I didn't know the backstory. Her content comes up for me all the time because she makes like, um, big Sunday roast dinner. She's British, and then she had twins, and like, I don't know why she's just like always on my For You page.

Jack and potato.

Like, and then I didn't know her backstory was that like she had a GoFundMe and like literally faked having cancer. Yeah, like it's just a thing people do. It's so crazy.

I'm unfamiliar.

Oh yeah, no, the crazies are, are holding it down.

Are you ready for our next story? 3, number 3. Yeah, and it's a little more reality TV news. I would say these were the first 3 stories are the top 3 stories of the year. Number 3 right now being Taylor Frankie Paul, um, speaking out in the most direct way that she has since all of the, uh, The Bachelor drama went down. And now that her cuss— her domestic violence, um, thing was thrown out, she is speaking out. So she posted 3 pictures of herself looking very, um, thin and unwell, and she said, here come the ugly parts of what healing actually looks like. If you know me, you know I'll admit my parts, flaws, and faults. I'm well aware that's a part of it. We'll get there. This public atrocity that I not only lived through once but twice now on an even bigger scale was ultimately the cost of my freedom. I wouldn't wish this upon my worst enemy, or even to the ones who publicized it. I cried on my knees in pain while also saying thank you. We have a road ahead, but regardless, I'm forever freed from a certain living hell I couldn't find my way out of.

Metaphorically, someone witnessed me bleeding out and poured salt all over me. Somehow I'm still here, as we can see, barely, because I believe God helped me through and sent help plus an army, which makes me cry because thank you to all of you that supported even without full context. God undoubtedly had a hand in this because after waiting 7 weeks, on the 7th day exactly, I received the call. All charges dropped. Those are his numbers, symbolic for his plans, which I'm nervous to see what's in store. Steps moving forward are the very basics. We're working on eating, movement, rest, and retraining the nervous system. I'll be sharing the process because if my worst is shared, better bet I'll share the rebuilding too.

That's great. I just want to say one thing.

Mhm.

I saw this and I saw also a lot of the pictures that were released. Um, I don't know where they came from, if she released it or like it's public.

They have other pictures like out of scrapes and scraps.

Scrapes and bruises on both of them.

Yeah.

Um, so while I do think the public doesn't 100% understand, and I can see, I do agree, like she was in a personal hell, like, and she was being tortured and I understand what she's saying. Like, the second this all came out, obviously she was like terrified but also relieved, right? And I appreciate her like, you know, sharing this, but I do think the narrative like of her being completely blameless is not— like, I, I'm not 100% buying that.

Oh, I don't think there's a narrative that she's blameless.

Yeah, no. And it's like, and look, and her abuser got her again and he got her season canceled, and it's like, he's the real abuser. And it's like, I think that that they both are?

I think that they both are. I don't think that she's blameless whatsoever, but I think that she did this really terrible thing because I, I mean, the stuff about with her and Dakota is like one thing, but the chair throwing and whatnot, and it all happened like very publicly. But I guess like she understood that we didn't understand it, and, and I think in all the seasons like she felt like such a bad person. And like I felt like even though she was asking for forgiveness, essentially, for the last few years. She couldn't get it because nobody knew what they were forgiving. And I feel like now that everything is out there and that, like, this really separates for her from Dakota completely, so she's able to, like, move on from him. Like, everyone can start the process of, like, knowing who she is and what she did and if there is a way to come back from that, to start that now. But, like, when you can't even start that, she's, like, been in this purgatory. And so I don't find her to be blameless whatsoever, but at a— what— at what point can forgiveness begin, right?

Right. And I guess that's the road she's taking, just like religion and, and healing, which I respect and support.

Yeah, yeah. So I, I'm— it was interesting to hear though that that's how she saw it, as like the worst thing that ever happened. Like, not the worst thing ever happened, but like a horrible thing to go through it twice now and like have your whole life completely ruined. But it was like very freeing for her because it's over, it's over now. Yeah, and probably getting all these things like Bachelorette, like always— she always felt unworthy, right?

Like the higher you climb, the farther you fall, right?

And so there was really like— it's— I think she'd rather not have those things and not feel that way, right? And feel like a fraud, and now just like be her and move forward.

I mean, I can see a world in which she continues filming.

I could too. I feel like they're not filming right now. I do imagine that the executives are taking the temperature of what people would watch again, you know?

Right, and how all this is like being received.

They seem to really love her because even when she did this the first time and they picked back up and they always gave her special treatment, they've always like— I imagine that they want her to film.

Yeah, and the show has not picked up cameras since this whole saga.

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what the path forward would be. I wonder if she even wants to, or she's like—

I know, like, it's just being an influencer, like, enough. Like, you can make money, you can make a living.

And like, she's made so much money over the past few years and lives very modestly, modestly, you know. Even her clothes— she's borrowing dresses from Jessie. She was living in the same house, but she moved to just a different house of the same size just to like clear herself of the memories. I wouldn't be surprised if she has a lot of money in the bank. I agree. And doesn't need to be a celebrity like this anymore. And she, she'll always be an influencer because She always is just sharing. That's who she is. That's why her fans like love her so much. She shares like all the ugliest parts of her life. Um, so she'll always have like an audience and can work in that sense. Not at the level that she was, but I think she has a lot of money.

Yeah, I agree. She definitely lives like a low, low budget lifestyle.

She wears like Crocs and men's clothing, like sweatpants. Yeah, I don't, I don't know where she would have been spending her money over the last few years.

I just think that like if she were to be asked to film again, I feel like it does also give a pass to Dakota, like that he can also film stuff again, even though I guess he is— he's on the turn—

it's the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives.

I mean, I feel like nobody gets that actually. Yeah, it's the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, not deadbeat husbands.

And I think that one, she could— if they wanted her to film again, she could say, I will not film with him. And they don't have to put him on just because she's on, because it is the wives and they're not together, you know? So you sort of lose your spot. Mm-hmm. That's simple to me.

No, and that's what's annoying.

And Hulu did edit him out of Vanderpump Villa, so they're obviously not with him.

Good. I like— good. I hate him so much. I don't hate her. Yeah, I hate him.

Yeah, it's just hard because we still don't have— like, you know, it's all inferencing. And I feel like—

I know, no, there are things that I know. I think she's made a lot of mistakes, like really bad judgment, especially when it comes to her parenting. But I don't think she's a bad person. Yeah, I think Dakota Mortensen is a bad person. Evil walks among us. Yeah, that's the difference. Yeah, well, so I can forgive a person who makes mistakes. Yes, I can't forgive an evil person.

I think there's no reason why he has to film if she is, like, period. And Hulu should know that.

Yeah, well, I feel the same way about Jordan too. Like, once you're out, you're out. Please, I don't want to keep seeing these guys. Yeah, unfortunately though, I think we will.

I do think they realize that they sort of ruined the last season with the men, and they would, they would pull back from that regardless.

Good guess. Let's not forget that the men ruined this show.

They would be fools to not have realized that. Agreed. So we'll see. We shall see. Are you ready for our fourth story?

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Our next story, Coachella weekend 2, lots of cameos. We had Madonna on stage with Sabrina, we had Olivia on stage with Addison.

Oh, that was weird.

And Billie Eilish and Big Sean on stage with Justin Bieber.

Okay, I want to say something also. Kylie was there, you know, she's like Justin Bieber's number one fan, and like it hurts my feelings that she doesn't go to Sabrina, and or if she does, she like doesn't post about it. Like, does she not like Sabrina? I feel like Kylie's so Sabrina.

I do too. And she did a TikTok to house tour, so she's not like anti, right? I think maybe it's like too early and she's not going to be there like all night long, you know? I feel like Sabrina's the night before.

Sabrina's the last one the night before, right?

Oh, I don't know.

I love Sabrina. Love that Madonna moment, you know? I always remember one of my favorite movies to reference— what am I about to say? Gaga: Five Foot Two, one of the best celebrity documentaries out there, like, ever. And she's, like, really drunk talking to Mark Ronson, smoking a cigarette outside, and she's talking about— they won't, they won't say what moment she's referencing, but the internet people were quickly, you know, able to gather that she's talking about how, like, Madonna— I guess that's, like, Lady Gaga's idol, Madonna. And, like, I guess I could see it. She fancies herself like a modern Madonna, and Madonna, like, hates Lady Gaga, especially when Lady Gaga, like, first came on the scene. Madonna, like, was making really nasty public statements about her. So it's, like, clear, like, Madonna— and you can see based on, like, how she looks, she's not like down to be sunsetted, right? Like, there is no new Madonna because Madonna's still here, she tours, you know? And so to see her sort of pass the baton to a younger performer, that's like not the Madonna way, you know? She doesn't play like that. So I was happy to see that for Sabrina, but like, I— part of me was thinking about Lady Gaga.

Oh, interesting. Yeah, it's like if I thought about who the next Madonna is, I wouldn't have thought about Sabrina, but I do think that like what they did together was sort of perfect, especially with Like a Prayer. The imagery is very Brie-ner and very Madonna-er.

It's very Brie-ner, and the musical transition was fabulous. Wanna try some freaky pants? Have you ever tried this one? And then it was Madonna, like that, the beginning of it. Just like a prayer, I'll take you there. It was, yes, I agree, like the esthetics, like sex aligned, and I had no problem with it. Like, I just thought it was interesting, and I wonder what Lady Gaga thought about it. Yeah, because what Lady Gaga was, where Sabrina was at, not only did Madonna not champion her, she actually put her down.

I understand, and I feel like Lady Gaga has worked through that, you know.

I feel like Lady Gaga now like fucking hates Madonna, and like she like really does.

Yeah, probably. Great. But Madonna wasn't ready then.

Great.

And that was like 15 years ago.

No, 5 foot 2. Oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Lady Gaga was coming up like we were in high school.

Yeah, I guess like Just Dance.

Yeah, so I think like now Madonna feels more ready to pass the baton. And she's passing it to Breener. Or we're just reading too much into it, it was just a cameo and like she just said—

and like, who would turn down an opportunity to be at Coachella?

Yeah, and like, I don't know that it's a passing of the baton or so it's just a collaboration, but I know she doesn't see—

maybe she doesn't see it, but it is a passing of the baton. It is.

Uh, speaking of Sabrina, Olivia Rodrigo joined Addison Rae—

love what you just did there—

Addison Rae, uh, for Headphones On, the live debut of Olivia's new single dropped. So Olivia sort of had a big weekend because she put out a new single and music video. She joined Addison on stage when it was very bright out and when Sabrina performed that night.

Yeah, it was really bright. I like— one thing about me that's so crazy is like, I've been an Addison Rae fan since day one, and I think she's like one of the weirdest, worst performers. Like, I don't like her music. It's not made for me. Like, I can't believe like that my girl who like— I loved her in She's All That. Like, like, like, this is what she does. Like, her music— I get that it's like performance art, and sure, I don't get it. Like, sue me, I don't get it.

I, I honestly don't watch it because I find it to be like upsetting for like my belief in her. Like, I don't want to know.

Maybe we're just old. Sachi loves it.

I know. I don't want to know what's going on. Like, I, I've recognized that it's not for me. The outfits are not for me. The songs, like, everything, they're not iconic to me. Like, I can't believe people even know the words to some of them.

Like It's not music. Not to sound like an actual grandma, but it's literally just noise.

And so then she's like wearing this like showgirl outfit with like a purple American Apparel sweater. Like, I'll never— yeah, I'll never understand.

And then Olivia Rodrigo.

I just don't think about it because it's incongruous for me with what we've like known Addison to be like.

And everybody slept on— I think her original attempt at being a pop star.

Obsessed.

Do you say you're obsessed with me? So I took a second and I said, me too. And I don't even think she sings that song. Like, that's what's so insane when she performs now. And then her, like, lesser-known follow-up hit, which was To Die For My Nails, to die for this, uh, sexy stuff. For me, I want something to die for. Like, it was good. And then people didn't appreciate it, so she, like, rejiggered and, like, worked with Charli XCX. Like, this is what we got. And I'm sorry, like, it's not for me.

And that song, Honey, Baby, I don't like it.

And that's the only song that I feel sounds like a song. And, like, it's not my favorite, but I can see how it's a song. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, like I see it, like there's a verse and there's choruses, like I get it.

I actually don't even want to talk about this because it's like her fault.

No, sorry, all that to say Olivia Rodrigo comes on, it's her fault.

I don't think about it because it's like in contrast with what I wanted for her.

I just want to say about Olivia Rodrigo, like yeah, she did have this big weekend cuz she had a new single and I feel like it was just kind of a weird like launch, don't you find?

Like yeah, I think going on stage with Addison when it's so light outside when Sabrina's headlining, like you can't do that if you're Olivia Rodriguez. And you shouldn't do that because we're just gonna compare the time of day.

And I think if you want to criticize Olivia Rodrigo, like, you could if you wanted to. I don't, um, but like, she's an amazing performer, and I thought the performance with Addison was so bad and like vocally off, visually off, like the whole thing was so weird.

And it's like Olivia Rodrigo could perform on her own at Coachella, maybe not headline, but maybe the, the one before, the one before, and And not to say that because she can do that she shouldn't go on during the daytime, cuz like Joe Jonas went on with Teddy Swims and Jonas Brothers headline. It just like, when it's Sabrina, like you just can't do it. I'm sorry, don't put yourself in that position.

No, you have to be careful. And by the way, it's vice versa, cuz I remember when I went to, uh, Jingle Ball like 4 years ago, it was like awkward because we literally went for Olivia Rodrigo. Ben was the biggest fan and Sabrina played like 2 hours before and had like 3 songs, and it was just like, you know, she was on her way up and it was just like, it was awkward.

Yeah, it's awkward. And those—

I feel like everyone was talking about it.

They need to watch out for one another and they should not be in like the same state on the same weekend or else we're just going to compare. And in this comparison, Olivia comes out the lesser. Her new song sounded good, and I saw, uh, her music video was like her running around Versailles in her pajamas, and I thought it was so cute.

Yeah, I also watched this like whole long-ass dissertation on her album cover, and somebody was talking about like the lost art of the album cover. Like, people just put up like blurry pieces of garbage and like make it an album cover, and people like were really applauding her album cover on the swing. It references like a great work of art.

It's called— her album's called Love.

Is it?

What's it called?

No, what is it called?

New album.

You seem like you like me or something. You seem pretty sad for a girl. What? So in love. That's a long-ass title.

We'll just call it Love.

Yeah. And she's like, uh, flinging backwards through the air on this swing in like a frilly girly dress.

That's really cute.

Yeah. And I think it like references— and maybe it's, it's a painting that's at Versailles. It references like a famous work of art.

No, and also in her song, like, she says something about Versailles, like like, you look like one of the angels up playing on the ceiling or something. And so they shut down Versailles and let her run around in her skivvies.

Soleil. Yeah, get the meat cake.

So cute. I thought that was really cute.

I—

so I only heard bits of the song, but I liked how it sounded.

One thing about Olivia Rodrigo, she makes good music.

Yeah, she really does.

So, so yeah. Oh, and then there was Bieberchella where he like kind of, uh, gave his all, you know. I feel like he took a little bit of the criticisms from the prior week.

So he didn't do the YouTube thing again?

I don't know if he did, but he added a bunch of like older songs that people— when you smile, I smile, um, like, and saying it in full, you know. Yeah.

And he's saying One Less Lonely Girl. Billie Eilish went up as the lonely girl.

She's the biggest—

I know, but she is like the biggest Bieber fan. So no, it was cute.

It was cute actually for her.

And then Big Sean came out too.

And then I also saw, um, Phineas yucky. Um, he was there like with Billie and his girl— his girlfriend Claudia. And so like Claudia was filming her and Billie like singing. And I feel like he doesn't get enough hate for actually like living with a girl who is his sister's twin. Like, and I know everybody subconsciously like, you know, looks for someone who looks like their mom or whatever, but I'm sorry, he like went to a factory and had a Billie Eilish clone made. Like, I couldn't tell them apart.

I just want to say, I feel like when Phineas and Claudia started dating at that point in Billy's career. Like, Claudia did not look like Billy.

Oh, I agree.

Do you think that, um, if anything, like, Billy has, like, the way—

inspired by Claudia?

Like, maybe. I think people should be looking into that more because I think over the years Billy has, one, just matured, and also just started looking like Claudia more. But you start to look like the people you hang with. Oh, where do you get your lips done? I'll go there too. Oh, what hair color?

Interesting.

I feel like Billy's sort of morphing into his brother's girlfriend.

Maybe she was jealous. Very Teresa and Joe coded. Like, I'm telling you, there's something weird going on there.

So I don't— I think, I think people have it reversed, just saying.

I smell barbecue. Do you ever just like randomly smell somebody grilling? I love the smell of barbecue.

Yeah. Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

Was there anything else from Coachella?

Nothing meaningful, I would say.

No, Kylie was there. Timothée was in Miami.

They—

she went to Coachella like twice in a row and like didn't go with him, but they do think that he was there weekend fun.

And that's just like, might not be his scene, and she loves it. And with couples, sometimes, like Justin Bieber, you do have to honor like your personal hobbies. And, and also don't drag your partner into them if you know they're going to be unhappy, because that's how like they're fighting and ruining the thing that you once loved.

Totally.

Which was like your weekend at Coachella, and you're right, you're crying at Bieberchella. Yeah. And you're better fighting, like, and that stinks up the relationship too. Like, it's good to, you know, know thyself. I think Timothy knows thyself.

I would agree.

Our fifth and final story—

he knows himself, he doesn't know the self.

Anne Hathaway's People's World's Most Beautiful cover store. Store.

I love being world's most beautiful.

So, and People's Most Beautiful issue is here, and Anne Hathaway is the most beautiful. And I would say everything about this is congruous.

Yes, I love when things align and I love when things make sense because to me, when I think of People's Most Beautiful or whatever this award is called, to me it's like always Julia Roberts, right? Like, and I feel that Anne Hathaway is sort of a Julia Roberts of our time. She is, where she has this beautiful smile, people just love her, she's so affable, and her movies slay. After, like, there was a time where Julia Roberts, every movie Boom, boom, boom, hit, hit, hit. And that's kind of Anne Hathaway right now. Like, her picker is good and she's in every big movie every year.

Yeah, yeah, this just makes sense, makes sense. And she's promoting Devil Wears Prada, so she's like, you know, sitting down for stuff like this.

Oh, you know what, I'm a little scared because I saw a trailer for Devil Wears Prada, like, and it wasn't just like a kitschy trailer, like the big one, it was like a different trailer with like other scenes, and it looked kind of bad. Why? I'm scared. Just the acting was giving corny. Like, I'm scared. I'm really scared. It better be good.

It better be good for all this hoopla.

Like, I might as well just go to the theater. Like, I'm getting a sitter, okay?

Oh really?

Yeah.

I can't believe it's not out yet.

We've been talking about it for so long. I know. And the promo is giving like a little bit Barbie. They're doing like collabs and stuff, but not as annoying. Yeah, like they're doing like Old Navy.

They have like Starbucks drinks. Drinks for every character.

Oh, that's cute, because I guess like half the job was getting coffee. That's cute. I will say, like, the partnerships—

does Miranda drink Starbucks? Does she drink—

yes, Starbucks, she does. You don't remember? Like, she drinks a latte, like a certain number of times. Yes.

Oh, okay, good.

Um, and I, I think that like the marketing department has been like more selective than Barbie, and I think it's been, um, like the partnerships, everything I've seen has been really good. Like, the Oscars was said it's good, but like, just release the movie, you know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, congratulations to Anne, People's Most Beautiful. She could also be the COVID of Sports Illustrated.

She could. As we wait, who did you say it was? Oh, Whoopi Goldberg. I guess the jury's still out.

It could be Whoopi Goldberg, and I think it will be.

Okay, I'm gonna hold you to that.

Do you think it is an Olympian?

I like rescinded my bad guess like weeks ago, so don't hold me to it.

Okay, well, that's the fast life stories. I feel as though you needed to know them. That's our show, Turd and I.

And I feel as though a lot of people will try to take credit for it, but it is ours.

Yeah, and I feel like you guys know that, dear reader.

Hopefully. Bend when you can, snap when you have to. That's literally Jackie in a fucking line.

Uh-huh.

Bend when you can, snap when you have to. Because when they about Jackie, she has like a— I would say like a tricentennial snap.

Yeah, you know, I always say I have a very long fuse, but the bomb at the end of it—

shrapnel fucking everywhere, bitch.

Moab.

Yeah, it's true.

Yeah. And, and yeah, I think—

what does Moab mean?

Mother of all bombs.

You're literally like Pete Hegseth, do you know what I mean? Like Like, your energy is like extremely Pete-coded.

1,000%.

I'm cracking. Like, I'm cracking at Moab. I'm actually dying. I never heard that. Oh, oh my God, I heard the funniest phrase last night. My friend Margot, who you know, she's just like so— like, you always say like a classical piano follows her. She's just not of this time.

She's an elegant woman.

She has porcelain skin. She's so like, seriously, she could have been born in the Victorian age and she would have fit right in.

Yes, she's a time traveler among us.

We were playing, we were playing, she is a time traveler.

Like, it's insane.

Her and her sisters too, they all have this like very classically beautiful look.

But it's not, yeah, it's not even just, they're just gorgeous. Yeah, they're beautiful.

You know, and then their personalities, they're very refined, polite women.

Elegant women. Yeah, like Little Women.

Yeah, literally.

And so last night, not that we've ever read it or saw the movie.

And we will though, we will. We were playing mahjong last night and she was like, oh, and I just folded like a cheap suit. The whole room went silent. I'm like, what did she just say? She was like, oh, she doesn't know that phrase.

It was a giveaway.

Her time machine is waiting for her.

One more slip up and she has to go back.

Oh my God. And like her hand started to evaporate, you know, because she has to go back. And I just folded like a cheap suit.

What did she fold over?

Oh, because we were playing like, um, she always wants to leave early, of course, because the time machine. I'm like, I like to, like, I want to play a lot of games. And she was like, I have to be home by 9:30, I have to be home by 9:30. And Margot Ashtray was also like, yeah, I want to leave, I want to leave. So we're finishing the last game and I was like, can we please play one more? And Margot Ashtray was like, no, like, I'm like setting a boundary. And Margot Fish was like, I mean, I could play. And then Margot Ashtray was like, okay, fine, I will too. And Margot Fish was like, oh, look at me just folding like a cheap suit.

That's so funny. Did Margot Ashtray really say she has to set a boundary on time for mahjong?

Um, so actually Ben was cracking me up. We did like— it was actually a hilarious game of mahjong. Like, we were playing this game and Margot— the Margots had both decided that it was going to be their last, and Ben was like, no, come on, let's play one more. And oh yeah, this is how it went. Marco was like, I'll play one more. I feel like this is a boring story, whatever. She's like, I'll play one more. And Margot was like, no, who's—

which—

no, you know what? I decided I don't wanna tell the story anymore cuz I don't really remember how it happened.

And everyone's name is Margot and I'm like, I just wanna say if Margot Wallström said you need to set a boundary for the end of Mahjong, you need to beat that out of her.

She said to Margot Fish, she was like, yeah, I, I just fold like a cheap suit. And Margot's like, no, I'm good about setting boundaries.

And those two are from different time periods.

Kids. Margot Ashley is from the future.

Like, okay, now that's our show.

TTFN, thanks so much for listening to the Toast of the Morning Morning Show. We live the outside stories. You need to share Monday to Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give us a thumbs up. We're also available as podcast on our podcast feed found Spotify, Stitcher, Public Radio, iHeartRadio, CastBox, all the places where you listen to podcasts. My name is Toasty McFister. We are here every week for sending out weekly talent to you. I hope you guys have an amazing day, and we'll see you tomorrow.

Love ya, bye!