Transcript of #2522 - Tony Hinchcliffe New

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Hey, what's up? What's happening?

Chaos. I love it.

Everything.

Yeah, the world's crazy.

Center of the storm. I think, I think the world's back at war today again, like officially, right? I don't think that agreement with Iran lasted at all. I think there was bombings today in Lebanon, and I think there's bombings today in American bases. I try to not pay attention, dude. I really do. I try to distract myself with science stuff and space. I was watching this documentary yesterday on how they make chips, like how they make like semiconductor chips. Dude, this fucking machine that they use— I'm gonna send you this, Jamie, because it's bananas. It's like one of the most complex machines in the world. And this, this machine they use to make semiconductors, make chips, and they were explaining the process of making these chips, how fucking nuts it is, man. The, the amount of atoms that are stacked on and like the way they do it to make these like super complex high-end chips. Chips. There's people out there, Tony, that are doing things way different than us, okay? We're out there talking about sucking dicks and people shitting themselves, and what's going on in other parts of the world is people are doing science fiction.

Like, they're actually doing science fiction. Oh, here it is. Give me a second. I like to save things. Here it is, the world's most important machine.

It's an hour long.

Yes, did you find it? Yeah, but go, just go to the— there's some animation where they show how they make these things. Like, it was right where you were at. Yeah, okay. Oh, okay, so they're just showing some of the the different aspects of how these things are made. Look, go back to where that guy had the laser beam. That's perfect, actually, where that guy had the laser beam. So this is him explaining this. So look at this. Back it up a little bit and give me some volume. Back it up a little bit, please.

I want to introduce it to you with a thought experiment. Imagine you are shrunk down to the size of an ant and you're given a laser that's strong enough to melt through metal like butter. Next, a tiny droplet of molten tin, roughly the size of a white blood cell, is shot out in front of you around 250 kilometers per hour. And your task is to hit this not once, not twice, but 3 times in a row in 20 microseconds with your little laser. Well, that is exactly what this machine does. It hits one tiny tin droplet 3 times in a row, heating each one up to over 220,000 Kelvin. That's roughly 40 times hotter than the surface of the sun. And it doesn't just hit one droplet. It hits 50,000 droplets every single second. How often do you miss a laser shot?

We don't miss them.

What? You do 150,000 laser shots a second and you don't miss one? Exactly. The same machine also contains mirrors that might just be the smoothest objects in the universe. If you scale one up to the size of the Earth, then the largest bump would be no thicker than a playing card.

What the fuck?

On top of that, it is able to overlay one layer of a chip perfectly on top of another and never be off by more than 5 atoms. And this is all happening while parts of the machine whip around at accelerations of over 20 Gs. For 30 years, almost everyone thought that actually building this machine was impossible. And yet It exists. There is only one company in the world that can make it. So what is this company and what is this impossible machine they've built? This video is—

There you go.

That's it.

Wow.

Yeah.

What are they doing with that?

All computers, like computer chips that are getting better and better and better. All these AI chips. This is how they make them.

One interesting thing I can just add. I know when they make those, they make like a big sheet of chips, you know? Mm-hmm, like they'll be like 30 or 50 on them. They'll test each one, and the ones that are the best, like, to test out, like, 1 out of 100. The ones that are like closest to 100 become like the i9 chip. And if it's like 85 out of 100, it becomes like the i7 chip. Oh, they all come off the same sheet. It's like the best ones become the best chips. They sell them for the most money. No, no, just a little degraded.

No kidding. Interesting. So where there was that issue with that Samsung chip factory, and it was about they weren't getting the results that they wanted. So it's probably they were getting more of the shitty chips. Yeah, they want enough of the perfect chips.

They want really high-end chips. And it's the real—

you could smoke. We have a fan in here, dude.

Sweet.

Yeah, I mean, imagine if everybody died and it was just us in this room and there was like 3 late— well, be more than that, we'd have to have more people. Otherwise we're gonna fuck up the gene pool. We're all gonna look like the English royals.

We need—

we probably need a few thousand people. A few thousand people, like regular people, like you and I, that don't know shit about how these things work.

Yeah.

How much time would we need if we repopulated the Earth with what we know? Basically, you're starting out like a fucking— like a half-assed prepper, you know? Like someone who's on an episode of Lost, you know? Like one of those plane crash people trying to figure out how to survive out there. You're fucked!

Oh yeah.

You're not inventing that! Uh-uh. How long's it gonna take?

Infinity.

And how many people have to pave the way? This is the thing, for every one of these people that makes an invention like this, you're making this on the back of thousands and thousands and thousands of fucking super geniuses that have figured out each and every step of the way that can lead you to thinking, is this possible that we could do this next? You know, they all build on each other. So you need all these guys and hopefully they don't get any pussy because otherwise they're gonna get distracted. Yeah, you know, I bet if one of them gets a hot wife, like one of their patents kicks and they start making bank, and then all of a sudden he shows up for work in a Ferrari, and next, you know, he's got a hot wife, everybody's like, oh my God, yeah, civilization just went back 100, 200 years. We're gonna lose Tim.

Yeah.

Tim's taking Adderall, coding 18 hours a day, trying to figure out how to get us to Mars. Actually, that's a bad point because Elon clearly gets pussy and doesn't seem to be affecting him at all.

I think Elon's different.

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Ach ja. Definitely different.

Yeah, I think some people are different, different, different.

It's fascinating how many people want to find flaws in what he's doing instead of just looking at this like, wow, this is an extraordinary time to be alive. But it's because of this narrative that people have. One of them, the big one, is this USAID is killing people narrative, that people have died because of USAID. Then a bunch of people have given examples of how them cutting the funding has led to the end of certain people's lives, like where they were in hospitals that didn't have any funding. And there's a lot of that that you could point to say, right, if they had the money, they would have had the funding and they would have had that equipment in place, or maybe they wouldn't have. But here's the other thing, that's not discounting the fact that a lot of that money is fraud.

Yeah.

A lot of it. Like, it's not a little amount. And the idea that you should let it go on because it's gonna save lives and there's a bunch of people that are stealing money, okay, I see that argument. But why are we sending them money in the first place? Like, what's— did we do something to them? Do we owe them money? No? Okay, we're just being nice? Are you sure we're just being nice? Is there anybody profiting off of us being nice? 'Cause usually just being nice for no reason and just giving tax money away for no reason, I don't think they do that. I don't think that's real. I used to think that was real. I used to think that charity was real. And now I look at it and I go, oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is a giant scam that's wrapped up in virtue. It's wrapped up in a nice cozy blanket of being kind and compassionate and virtuous and doing good things for people all around the world. I think a lot of people get involved in those things because that's what they think. We're gonna do good things around the world, the good people.

I really believe that. And then they find out how it really works, and then they get stuck in that system, and then they're making their way up there, you know, air quotes, corporate ladder, to the point where some of them are making a million dollars a year. And you're like, what is this? Yeah, what is this? This is a business. This isn't really charity. Most of the money is going to your employees and your overhead and your Why do you have such a big building? Like, what are you doing? Right.

It's a—

How come you're not just funneling the money to these people?

Exactly.

What, like the LA Fire Aid?

Yeah.

Great example. Spencer Pratt told me how many— what number did he say of nonprofits got that money? So over $100 million gets raised. I don't know the exact total. All of it goes to these different nonprofits. I think he said 200 different nonprofits. Got the money.

Yeah.

So, and then what happens to that? Well, they just pay their employees, they pay overhead, they pay their rent on fucking nice office on wherever they live. Fuck, man. It's so disheartening because you've— so that's what all that stuff is. And it's also, if you listen to when Mike Benz has been on my podcast a few times and explains USAID, people think of it as aid. You think of it as, oh, we're helping the world, which is great, right? But it's not that. It's the Agency for International Development, and it involves funding rap bands overseas that are the subversive rap bands that are supposed to excite people to take over the government. There's like a bunch of like weird shit. Funds rebels, it funds newspapers, and what was he talking about? There was a lot of it like funding rap music. Like, this is crazy. People have long said that rap music, even though, listen, you love hip-hop. I know you just got back from Kanye West. I'm a huge hip-hop fan.

We gotta talk about that at some point.

We definitely do. I love hip-hop. But there's some people that believe that gangsta rap in particular, when it came about in the 1980s, was a part of the push to popularize it and produce it was a part of the government, some faction of the government, some faction, some intelligence agencies wanting to create more crime, wanting to fill more private prisons, wanting to erode the fabric of society so they could push for more laws to keep you safer. This is like the, one of the most tinfoily of tinfoil hat conspiracies. But people are pointing out that right now it's like one of the rare times where no rap music is on the charts.

Yeah.

And they're saying, well, how does this coincide with USAID? Was USAID like actively promoting rap music? Was that one of the reasons why rap music was so possible— pop— popular? Is that real? That can't be real.

Maybe back in the day. It seems like that would be more manipulative. I don't see how.

I believed that until I heard mumble rap. I'm like, this makes— this is not real. This is trying to make people stupid. Yeah, there's something about this, you know, and obviously some artists are better at it than others. Some of them are fun the way they do it, but I'm saying there's a giant chunk of them that are inaudible. You don't know what they're like. Who's, who's into this?

Oh, almost all of them are inaudible.

Like, what, what's going on there? Imagine if like that was it. It was like people heard Nas and like, this guy's too smart. Uh, we gotta dumb it down a little, right? We gotta promote some people that can barely talk. Yeah, we gotta promote some people that are on cough syrup, apparently. Yeah, that's the thing. Have you ever done that cough syrup?

No.

They seem to love it. Yeah, a lot of dudes who are into that, that cough syrup, man, they, they swear by it.

It's crazy. It's got to be fun. It's got to be enjoyable.

Is it codeine? Is that what they're doing?

I think so.

Have you done it, Jamie? But we talked about this before, but I remember back in the '90s, I got a hold of some NyQuil, the real NyQuil. Like, I guess they changed the formula for NyQuil, and I had, you know, whatever, the flu or something, and I took some NyQuil and I was laying in bed. I was like, this is wonderful. Yeah, it was wonderful. Like, the— just the warmth, the softness of the pillows and the warmth of the bed with the covers over me. I'm like, oh, this is Wonderful. And I remember thinking, ooh, this is dangerous. Oh yeah, like this is a dangerous feeling because if your life was shit and you found that, like, that's better than anything else that's happening in your life.

Yeah.

And yes, you can get it at CVS.

Crazy. Crazy.

Was in the old NyQuil before they switched it.

I avoid that stuff like the plague. I'm afraid of medicine.

So this stuff probably was like sitting in my house if I took it. So it might have even been older than '97 or '98, whenever this was that I was sick. But I'll never forget it because I never get like getting scared. Like, I could love this. Like, I could just drink this during the day and just like sit on my back porch if I have the day off. Yeah, just get obliterated with NyQuil and just enjoy the universe.

I told you about that time I took half of the pain pill that the dentist gave me for my wisdom tooth. I was like, oh, fuck, this is life-changing.

It says the earliest NyQuil formula include Ephedrine, which is a decongestant, doxylamine succinate, which is an antihistamine, acetaminophen, dextromethorphan, cough suppressant, and about 25% alcohol. Oh, I was getting drunk too.

Wow.

What changed? The mid-2000s after the Combat Methamphetamine Act. There it is. They removed pseudoephedrine. So was that the stuff? So it wasn't codeine. But is there an— I think there is NyQuil with codeine though, right?

I don't know.

What I had was pretty good. I don't think it was as simple.

Yeah, you had the stuff they could make meth out of or whatever. Yeah.

Okay, we'll put it in perplexity. And Perplexity says, in the mid-2000s, yeah, NyQuil brands sold in the US do not contain codeine, and there's never been a standard Vicks NyQuil with codeine in its active ingredient lineup. Typical NyQuil form. So codeine— so does any cough syrup have codeine in it?

That's what lean is.

They add it, or is it just prescription cough syrup?

That was the whole thing about it.

Maybe I am fucking up my memory and maybe it wasn't NyQuil, because whatever it was, it seemed like I got fucked up off NyQuil.

But you have to drink like the whole bottle, you get NyQuil, like just get fucked up.

I definitely didn't drink the whole bottle. I know I took a dose, like a strong dose.

I mean, you're just getting fucked up off 25% alcohol and a little bit of a— maybe a little bit of side meth.

See, the thing is, it's so long ago, I can't remember. I say NyQuil because it's like saying Q-tips. Yeah, you know, or Kleenex. Just because it's tissues or ear swabs. I don't know if it was NyQuil, but it was cough syrup, whatever the fuck it was, and I felt wonderful. And I remember thinking like, this could be a real problem. Like that one day in bed, because I'm always scared of stuff like that. I'm always scared to get— I knew too many people when I was growing up that got hooked on stuff. Yeah, and it just derailed their life. So lying in bed, I was like, oh, you can't do this again. No more of this, right? I like it.

Yeah.

Yeah, I got a knee surgery once. They gave me morphine, they made morphine in a drip, and they say that you can only hit that button so many times it stops giving to you. Yeah, but every time you feel pain, you can just hit the button because I was on like a perpetual motion machine. Yeah, so my legs going, and I'm just bang, bang, bang, bang.

We—

yeah.

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The closest I come to that, 'cause I've never had like a serious surgery or anything, but I go to this, they have a dental office here in Austin called the Austin Dental Spa. So their whole thing is like a luxurious dental experience. And they will hook you up to laughing gas and they let you, like if they're like, you want a little more? And I'm like, okay, yeah. And that's like the closest I get to it, is once every 6 months or so I go there. And dude, I'm always excited about this fucking experience. It is so awesome.

Do you ever come up with bits after doing laughing gas? No, give me any ideas.

No, but during the thing, it makes me weirdly honest. You ever seen in Kill Bill when he shoots her in the knee with the honest gun because he was a chemist for like a living? It's like his secret job. So he comes up with this truth serum, and I've noticed that it makes me like weirdly very honest. So One time when I was in the dental office, the guy's doing whatever, and I'm like— and I'm jacked on laughing gas because it's not really— you're not really like cracking up, you're just like in heaven, and you're like, it's kind of smiling ear to ear. And I remember going like, how long did you go to school for dental school? And he's like, whatever the answer is, like 8 years. And I'm like, did you ever think about going longer and becoming a real doctor? And then I— and I realized like kind of in the moment, even though I was fucked up, like that's, that's Sounds mean, but I think they're totally used to it. I think they know that laughing gas makes people fucking—

I bet they're not used to that, dude. That's so mean.

That's not supposed to— that's what I'm saying, is it's like a dangerous—

a real doctor—

dangerous truth serum.

Some people want to be dentists. Yeah, we need them too.

Yeah, you know, crazy gig. Yeah, it's a weird one.

I know, imagine how bad breath they smell.

Oh, and just weird things lodged in teeth for God only knows how long.

When I got my root canal, one of the reasons why I had to get it is because I had a cap on my tooth, or a filler, whatever it is. What's it called? Filler? No, the one they just fill your tooth up. Why can't I remember?

Filling?

Fillings. Why did I say filler?

Whatever.

Yeah, it was the old-school one, you know, it was like white plastic. And when I was a kid, I used to have them. They were like fucking lead. They used to give you lead fillings, which is crazy. Like, kids had lead in their mouth. And it was hurting, it was bothering me. So what had happened was I had cracked the tooth and it had gotten infected underneath the filling. So he takes the filling out and drills into it, and the smell that came out of my mouth, it was so— it was pus. All this pus came out and this fucking horrific smell. I was like, oh my God, is that coming out of my mouth?

Yeah.

He's like, that's normal. It's decay, right? There's an infection under here. We're going to treat it. You're going to be fine.

Yeah. Piece of elk from 7 years ago.

This is a long time ago. This is a long time ago. It was before I was hunting, I think. But it was, uh, I, you know, people die from that stuff, which is really crazy. Like if you don't take care of your teeth and you get that kind of infection, those kind of infections can become septic.

Yeah. Well, it's nuts. Sometimes I'll do a thing where I'll water floss. After I brush my teeth just to see what would have been left in there if I just did what normal humans do. Because there's a bunch of shit, high-pressure water flossers that I fucking love, complete game changer for life. And it's insane what will jet out of there, what gets stuck deep in between the teeth and everything. And you know, I think you're— I would, for the most part, I do it before I brush, but every once in a while I'll be like, I wonder if there's anything left in there.

You know, yeah, you have to floss. Yeah, you're gonna get a bunch of shit stuck in there.

But, and even then, sometimes I'll regular floss and then brush my teeth and just out of curiosity go, I wonder if there's anything left in there. And I'll do a once-over with the Water Flosser and you see like, ding ding ding, 3 little things come out. It's like, that would have marinated in between my teeth or in the back of my gum line or whatever.

Yeah, that's not good. But according to my dentist, he thinks it's all sugar. He thinks if you go back and you look at like when people started developing serious cavities, it's— I mean, people have always had abscesses and broken teeth, and there's always been like dental problems that haunted people. Because back in the day, man, they just pull the tooth out and then who knows what kind of infection you still have in there, and they don't treat it. In the 1700s, if you broke your tooth and got an infection, you could be fucking dead. You know, you could die from that shit. But he was saying that the, the amount of cavities like steeply increased when people started putting sugar in everything. And then kids started drinking sugary sodas and eating sugary candy, and that stuff gets stuck in your teeth. He's like, I think that's the cause of it.

Yeah, and probably high fructose corn syrup's probably just as bad, or if not worse, than actual sugar.

That stuff's not good for your body, that's for sure. Your body doesn't like it. Someone explained to me what's the difference in the absorption of high fructose corn syrup versus natural cane sugar. I completely forget how they explained it, but they were They were basically saying that there's some issues with how the body breaks it down. When you drink a soda, just think about that. Where in nature do you get 20 grams of sugar just in liquid form and you just pump it down? Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug. Ah, refreshing.

Crazy. My buddy that I went to school with just flew in from Hawaii, which is where he's lived for like 20 years. He's like a wilderness guy, climbs trees and cuts down his own pineapples and coconuts and stuff all the time. He's got a great life. And, um, he, uh, he checked a bag this trip just a few days ago, um, and he brought it to the mothership because that's where we met up. And he surprised me with this checked bag that was like— that had the moldings built in and everything. It had 4 coconuts and 2 white Hawaiian pineapples, I think they're called, which like run like $65 each or something in the US. Like, it's impossible to get. And, um, According to him, I don't know. He's a real hippie-dippy type.

Is that the dude that you brought to the Mother Ship?

Yeah, Anthony.

Yeah, your friend from high school. Yep, which is crazy.

Yeah, he's the, he's the man. He's just a real dude.

It's crazy when you know people for that long.

Yeah, yeah.

And so this dude is just living in Hawaii, living his best life, and I mean, holy shit, these fucking pineapple.

He's like, dude, you're going to love this pineapple, pineapple, pineapple. He just kept going on about it. I'm like, all right, okay. Sure enough, holy fucking shit, man, it's— nature can deliver you a sugar dose, because he was saying that white Hawaiian pineapples have higher sugar but much lower acidity than what we're used to. So it makes a whole different— and since obviously it's natural sugar and this and that, it just makes a whole different type of fucking fruit. It's crazy.

Mm, sounds good.

Wild how we have to go other places to get unbelievable shit.

Well, of course, Hawaii. Yeah, Hawaii really should be its own country. Yeah, I listen, I love Hawaii. I'm glad they're protected by the United States. People are cool as fuck. It should be its own country. It's 5 hours by plane. Yeah, come on, man. Yeah, white pineapples, primarily known as Sugarloaf or White Jade pineapples, highly prized rare variety grown in Hawaii. Unlike standard yellow, they feature creamy white flesh, particularly practically no acidity, and a complex, completely edible core.

It was great. And fucking, he climbs a goddamn tree Like a little fucking monkey boy. Normal little white dude.

How did he wind up in Hawaii?

Uh, he's a real free spirit. He always was. I think he just went out there, visited, and stayed. He's the kind of guy that just gets a one-way ticket places and figures it out as he goes. He's in Youngstown right now. That shows you how adventurous and crazy he is. He's like, I'm gonna spend a week and a half there. I'm like, a week and a half in Youngstown?

Why is he doing that?

Visit family and friends.

Is there a good hotel to stay at?

And I even had to look this up recently because I'm like, I'm not staying at the crazy hotel that I stayed at last time I was there. So I'm like, best hotel in Youngstown. And the funniest thing is the actual closest option was in Pennsylvania, like 50 minutes away.

True.

I mean, there's one like DoubleTree downtown but it's in an area of absolute chaos. I mean, just death wish.

Do you ever go back there and go, I can't believe I grew up here?

Always, 100% of the time. I got a feeling for it immediately when I went to LA and I didn't hear police sirens anymore, like as often at least, you know what I mean?

Isn't that funny? Like LA with LA's crime.

That's what I always thought. I'm like, oh, this is going to be crazy. I've heard these Tupac songs like this is going to be nuts. And it was—

that was USAID.

So peaceful.

Yeah.

Yeah, exactly. So peaceful. In Youngstown, at least when I was growing up there, you could hear a police siren or an ambulance siren almost at any point of the day. God, my buddy sent me a shirt recently too, another one buddy, um, that has the stats on it of us being the murder capital. I think it was '90, '91, and '96 per capita. Not the biggest population. But per capita, it was the most dangerous place you could be when I was in those most developmental years when a kid shouldn't be having his head next to the window. Yeah, there it is. I got that shirt.

Wow.

4-time defending champion murder capital of America.

Wow.

Yep. In '01-'02, that puts me as a sophomore and junior in high school.

And you—

'95-'97, I'm 11, 12.

And you're being raised by your mom.

Yeah, on the north, on the craziest fucking area of the whole goddamn thing. The most dilapidated part of the north side of Youngstown.

Wow.

Yeah, I can't believe it. That's why, like, every part of my fucking story, I'm like, this is so goddamn weird. So weird.

It is when you think about it, right? When you really stop and think about it, doesn't seem real. 60 years ago, this Ohio city was named Crime Town USA. Yeah, crime town.

75 bombings.

Yep.

Oh, this is the mob days.

Yeah.

So it used to be a mob-run town, right?

Totally.

They were called Bomb Town.

Yeah, it was a Youngstown tune-up is a car bomb.

Look at this. 75 bombings, 11 killings in a decade, and no one seems to care.

They were so nuts in Youngstown that somebody tried to kill the actual prosecutor. The actual DA.

Oh, isn't that normal? They always try to do that.

Well, it's kind of the stupidest, craziest thing you could do because then the entire FBI comes down on you. It's a little short-sighted to go, ah, we're going to kill the main cop of this city and not think that anything's going to happen from that. Well, we beat the game. We beat the main cop.

Imagine trying to be an intelligent businessman and also a mob leader. Imagine like playing things out in advance and, but also you're a mob leader.

There was a lot of that going on and I got to see quite a bit of it. Like there were, uh, let's put it this way, mall developers in Youngstown and things like that. And I got to see firsthand, very young, that they were communicating with politicians at lunchtime and stuff because I was working at this little Italian restaurant at the time, right outta high school. And, um, and they were having these quiet meetups in a quiet, in the corner of a quiet Italian restaurant, and you would see these huge moguls, you know, I won't name any names, but big business people in Youngstown meeting with the local this and that and congressmen. I got to meet that congressman and that congressman 'cause they're there meeting with these super duper rich people, and I'm like, wonder what the correlation is there.

Bro, back then when there was no cell phones, And, you know, they had to bug people. They have to— they had to literally bug businesses to get information. Like, they were all doing something. Oh yeah, you couldn't be involved in any big-time business if you weren't down with the Teamsters, if you weren't down with the longshoremen. Yeah, you gotta— we gotta work this out, Bobby. We're businessmen. That's how you did the business.

Give a little money to their campaign. Not a little, but a bit, and then you can get your stuff passed and make life easier down the road.

Dude, I had friends that had no-show jobs.

Wow.

Yeah, yeah.

I had a friend of mine that had a no-show job in New York at the Javits Center. You know, the Javits Center is like a big convention center. He had a union no-show job.

Wow.

So he's a mob guy.

Yeah.

And they, they just gave him money.

I almost get a free check on The Sopranos. They had those—

no, that's real.

No-show construction jobs. They're sitting there with their portable fans.

Yeah, no, that's real, dude. That is a real thing. Yeah, there's— they get a certain amount of jobs. Like, they would make agreements, like the union would make an agreement, get a certain amount of these jobs. There's like, you know, it's crazy. There's really 100 jobs, but we want 130. Youngstown was a haven for organized crime. Related corruption was ingrained into the fabric of its society. A 2000 publication, New Republic, listed a chief of police, the outgoing prosecutor, the the sheriff, the county engineer, members of the local police force, a city law director, several defense attorneys, politicians, judges, and a former assistant U.S. attorney as controlled by the mob.

So if they have that, if they found that for sure, imagine how many others there are, right?

That's everybody. That's everybody. That's everybody. The prosecutor, the sheriff, the county engineer, the police force. City law director, defense attorney. Imagine not being down with the mob.

Yeah.

Like, do you wanna stay alive?

Yeah.

Like, do you wanna work in this business?

Right. And this is a city, I think we looked it up the other day actually. I think it only has 25,000 white people. Duh. So knowing that Black people tend to not be in the Italian mob, just going off of 25,000, and that's current. I don't know what it was back in the day, but the point is, is like, it's not a big city. It's not. I think 50,000, 60,000 half or less white. So there's Tony.

Yeah, there's little Tony watching pro wrestling.

Oh yeah, pro wrestling. And even then I was obsessed with Goodfellas and A Bronx Tale and The Godfather because it's like, it's just what you're taught is humanity. Like, that's life. Yeah. So getting out of that and going to LA and thinking it was going to be all Oh, it's gonna be crazy, gangs and stuff, and it's just quiet. Granted, I started in Burbank, which is a fucking television studio essentially, but—

When I moved to New Jersey and I didn't have any money when I first moved to New York, I couldn't afford to live in New York City, or I didn't even have an apartment. I stayed with my grandparents because my grandfather lived in New Jersey, in Newark, and he bought a house there in, I think it was like the 1940s. And they did a thing called blockbusting. Do you know what blockbusting is? They would go door-to-door and they would say, black people are moving to the neighborhood, you got to sell now. And everybody sold. It used to be an entirely Italian neighborhood. And he was like, I like black people, get the fuck out of here. And he kept his house, but it was like one of very few families that stayed. And then black people moved out, and then they started getting like different people, Spanish-speaking people like Dominicans and a bunch of other— and that's how it was when I stayed with them. So this is like 9— oh, '91. Yeah, I was 3 years into comedy, so it's probably '91. And, uh, while I was living with them, the next-door neighbor's house got broken into by the cops.

The DEA smashed down his door. Dude had an Audi parked in the driveway. He was selling crack, like, right next door to my grandpa.

Wow.

The whole neighborhood was just nuts, dude. Like, he would get really nervous when I would leave like I would leave to go play pool somewhere and he'd be like, be careful. Like, it was fucking sketchy. Yeah, but it didn't used to be. Like, when he first moved there, it was just an all-Italian neighborhood.

Yep.

Real estate people, even back then, like, what a dirty thing to do, scare people into moving. That's probably the first project of USAID. That's probably— yeah, yeah, they've always got real estate people to destroy neighborhoods.

There's something to it. I don't know the correlation of Italian neighborhoods being taken over— not taken over, but whatever— by Black people. Like, the mob-run cities like Youngstown, like Chicago, like Detroit. Um, it's an interesting anomaly. I wonder if there's any correlation between the things.

Well, you know, most of the Italians that came in the early 20th century were very poor. You know, they were all coming over here for labor jobs and things along those lines. And, um, you know, when they started doing better, they, you know, they started moving out and moving into the suburbs and moving into, you know, more gentrified areas. It's always, what are the new immigrants that are going to come and take over this area that was like formerly a low-income Italian neighborhood or a low-income Irish neighborhood? It's the same thing. Like, There's cycles, you know, it's like there's cycles in fighting too. Like in the early 20th century, there's a lot of Jewish fighters like Slappy Maxie Rosenbloom. You never heard of him, right? No, very good Jewish fighters because they were poor and they were the new immigrants, you know, and this is like before World War II. And then in— and even afterwards there was some, but then you get Italians. You get a lot of Italians. Get Rocky Marciano, Rocky Graziano. There's a lot of like Jake LaMotta. There's a lot of these like Italian bad motherfuckers because they were poor.

Yeah.

And then what happened? Then you got a lot of Puerto Ricans, a lot of, you know, it's always like who's the new immigrants, right? And who are the most hungry, come from the most poverty-ridden areas. Like Roberto Durán came from a terrible part of Panama, like not terrible, but I mean like very poor, very violent.

Yeah.

And it was one of the baddest motherfuckers.

Boom Boom Mancini was right down the street.

Yep. Yeah, I mean, Youngstown's known for boxing.

Yeah. Kelly Pavlik.

Kelly Pavlik, who's been on the podcast. He's awesome. Yeah, he was a beast, dude.

Oh man, that fight with him and Jermaine Taylor.

Holy shit.

Sometimes I still rewatch the end of that.

How did he survive?

Give me a burst of energy.

I mean, how did he make it through? That was a crazy cut. I mean, he got dropped. He looked like— it looks like the fight was over. And then when he's got him in the corner and he rocks him, and you go, no way, he's coming back. This is crazy. This— did you watch the fights this weekend? Jaron Boots Ennis and I forget the dude he was fighting.

No, I was at that concert. I missed it.

Boots is very good, and for the most part he beat his ass, but the third round he got rocked. The third round was incredible because he— the kid he was fighting— who's the gentleman that he was fighting?

James Zayas.

Yeah, young kid. He got dropped in the second round like pretty bad. Boots is very good. He's like one of the best boxers alive. And then the third round, the kid came back and rocked Boots, and it was just a war. Just the third round was incredible. Boots wound up stopping him. I think he stopped him in like the seventh or the eighth round. He just dropped him one last time and the ref, the corner called it. It was enough, like he was getting his ass kicked, but he was very, very valiant. You know, it was a really good fight. Like, Boots is better than him, like clearly, he's like, he's on another level. But this kid showed just tremendous heart. But it's like that third round was just coming back from getting dropped in the second, like those kind of moments where a guy's getting fucked up, like, like the Gaethje-Topuria fight.

Yeah.

Perfect example. Yeah, right.

That's when it's really a fight, a real fight.

Yeah, cuz Topuria was on him in that second round.

Oh man, we were so close. They were in— they were—

you could hear it.

They— oh, you could really— you could feel it where I was, man. And I, you know, obviously we're always close to the cage on those things, but then when Gate— when Topuria was landing those body shots, it was right against our side of the fence, and I'm literally like Oh my, I mean, holy fucking shit, man. And I've seen a lot of people get ripped to the body before, but there's something about his close-range strength in near that clinch, that close-up fucking range of Ilia that is scary.

He's so good, dude. He's so good and he's so precise. He just tried to— like, Chael, I always repeat this because Chael Sonnen said it was perfect— if you try to win by knockout and fail, you won't win a decision. And sometimes you just run out of gas because, like, you're not supposed to fight like that if you think that the fight's gonna go 5 rounds. Like, Ilia had him hurt and he's like, I can take him out. But Justin's so durable, man. He's so durable. And that left hook to the body, the sound of it, man, it's just whip. It's so perfect. He throws perfect punches. His punches are just— I mean, even Justin said it in the post-fight interview, like, when he's fresh, his skills are unmatched. Like, that's a crazy thing to say to a guy you just beat up and made stop. He stopped him in the fourth round. Yeah, that's crazy to say, like, his skills are unmatched, but they really are.

Oh, at every point of that, I'm at every point of that, anybody I think that knows anything about those two fighters is going, until this is stopped, anybody can win this. Like, even when his face was blown up and his eyes looked black and closed, Until that air horn rings, I'm like, anything, one punch, and we've seen it even with Gaethje, you saw it with Holloway, right? Was it him? Who did he square up with in the middle?

Yes.

Holloway, yeah.

Yes. Max hit him with that final punch.

One chin, one, with one second left, it can all be over.

Yeah, that was a little different in that Holloway caught him with a jump spinning back kick to the face in the very last seconds of the first round and broke the bone of his nose. We talked about it on the podcast, and I was like, that changed that fight. Because before that, Gaethje was pressing him, and it looked very competitive, and it looked like maybe Gaethje had a slight advantage. But that's because Max— Max, very clever, very clever fighter. Like, he's always switching stances and moving. And, you know, really hadn't showed that spinning back kick a lot. That hadn't been a feature in a lot of his fights. He did it a few times, but for him to land it that way, backing up, jump to the face— I mean, it was perfect. Yeah, it was perfect. And his nose was fucked. And if you're fighting with a broken— like a broken bone on your face, every time you're getting hit, you're getting just blasted. Yeah, you're— the pain is insane. And then, you know, he had— you know, he was a step behind Max. Max was teeing off on him. He landed some good shots though, even though it was a good fight.

I mean, Max was definitely ahead in the 5th round, but it was a good fight. And then, you know, during that wild exchange, he should have never done that. Yeah, he was already fading, whereas Max was still very fresh. Fucking crazy fight, man. Yeah, that was a crazy fight.

I think Topuria's nose was broken in round 2. I think it was pretty early on, and hard to say.

Yeah, you know, but Justin did clip him with a bunch of those uppercuts. So Justin does this thing where he like collar ties you and then throws an uppercut in tight, and he's really good at it. He's really good at like turning you a little and then throwing an uppercut. In these exchanges, he collar ties and uppercuts. He caught him a few times, and you just get one of those on the fucking nose, on the old schnozzle. This thing's so brittle. Yeah, it's such a— if you feel your nose, just feel it. Have you ever seen Merab's nose? The x-ray of Merab's nose? You never seen it?

Uh-uh.

I sent it to you, right, Jamie? Jamie will find it. It's crazy. Look at it. Looks like— oh my god, look at that. Oh, fuck, bro. That thing is destroyed. I mean, it's destroyed. He's getting zero air out of that. He's got the best cardio on planet Earth and he's getting zero air out of his nose. But he won't get it fixed because if he gets it fixed, he can't fight for like a year. And he just wants to keep on trucking.

Yeah, that dude's a freak.

If I was his friend, I would say, dude, you got a lot of money, you're a world champion, fix the nose. Let's fix it. Let's take a year off, come back and fuck these motherfuckers up. Because if that guy's got a fixed nose, he's got 10% more cardio. Yeah, are you crazy? Yeah, that guy with 10% more cardio, that's an extra weapon. I would get it fixed. But the problem is, if he gets it fixed and then like he fights a guy like Holloway and he gets jumped in, spinning back kicked to the nose in the first round and it shattered his again, then he's kind of fucked. Because if they have to fix it again, then they might have to start taking pieces of your rib out and reconstructing your nose and grafting bone and doing weird shit. And then sometimes that shit doesn't take, and sometimes it gets infected, and then you have a bone infection on your face. And what do they do then? Do they have to remove your nose? Is that what they have to do? Fuck.

God.

Scary shit, man.

Very much so.

These fucking dudes, man, that is a crazy job to risk your life, risk your health, risk your bones. You're making a living by trying to damage another person who's trying to damage you.

Nuts.

But it's also why it's the most exciting shit in the world to watch.

Exactly.

So exciting. Yeah, even boxing, as you know, tamed in comparison to MMA because there's less weapons and less options and a lot more padding. Yeah, you don't get the chokeouts, the crazy chokeouts. There was a crazy chokeout this weekend. His name is Ruziboyev, and he fought— God, how do I say his last name? He fought this Russian cat and got him— Russian or Ukrainian, I forget— but he got him in a rear naked choke and put him to sleep. And it was one of those ones where the guy looks dead and He's like lying there. I mean, it was a fucking nasty choke, man. And yeah, like, and it's—

look at him.

Oh yeah, I saw that.

It was dark, dude.

It's another meme out this week along with the WNBA girl pointing.

What's his name? Bro, it was nuts.

The memes on these things are nuts nowadays.

Oh, the internet is undefeated.

Oh, it's crazy.

They're so good at memes. There's so many people out there working jobs that they hate that are smart and funny.

Yep.

We were talking about it the other day, but you— have you caught up with any of those WNBA— what's her name, the girl that's pointing at her?

Sophie Cunningham.

Yeah.

Yeah, I've been paying it— can you put that thing in the middle? Put the ashtray in the middle. I've been paying attention very little, but one of the things that I did watch is all the fouls. Like, these bitches throw each other to the ground. They— and they poke each other in the eyes. Like, they do this, they literally jab each other in the eyes. It's crazy. Like, they, they foul, and also they travel so much.

Oh, it's great.

They take like 4 or 5 steps and then no one calls them on it.

Oh yeah, double dribble.

Is there a trend now to not call traveling?

Yes, without a doubt. In the actual NBA, it's a thing too.

There's a— it's hard to get into this without going way into like the weeds, but the NBA has a technically different rule than college and like high school and everyone else where there's that— they call it a gather step and they definitely would call it in high school, but they work all day manipulating it with the referee watching them saying like, you can do that, but you can't do that. You can do this, but you can't do that. And so like they've got it to a place where everything they're doing looks like traveling and dribble double dribbles. But guys will break it down in slow-mo and you'll be like, well, technically it's not.

That's weird. I always thought if you took a step, you had to bounce the ball.

Yeah.

That's how it should be.

You're allowed to.

Doesn't it seem like that should be how it is? When you see guys taking 4 steps, you're like, what's going on?

Well, do you want to see exciting basketball or not?

Yeah, I do.

All right, well then just let the referees call the game how they call it.

But I think there's something exciting about you having to bounce that ball because you won't be able to score as much, right?

Correct.

Like, if you have to bounce it every 2 steps, whatever it is.

I wish I loved the NBA like I did when I was a kid, and fucking Barkley and Jordan and Ewing and all these people were physical. It is just a whole different game now.

So back then, was it traveling? Like, in the Larry Bird days?

Hell yeah. Unless Jordan talked to the ref and said, yo, you're wrong, let me do what I want.

Well, Jordan had the cheat code where he would leap from the fucking free-throw line That is so— when I've watched videos of that, it doesn't even look real. He was such an amazing athlete.

Mm-hmm.

He was so good and so possessed by his desire to win. Yeah, he would do things that you would just go, how does a person fly? Yeah, dude, imagine if he was like a, like one of those jumpers, those long-distance jumpers. He probably have an insane jump. Yeah, because he, he's going from the free throw line in the air.

Mm-hmm.

That's crazy.

Everything he did was crazy. The way he did things, the way he practiced, everything.

Yeah, and didn't he not make his college team?

No.

High school team?

No.

Wasn't there like one year when he was a freshman he didn't make the varsity team?

That's what I'm saying.

Yeah, that's— most freshmen don't.

Perfect. May have changed basketball history forever.

Most freshmen don't. That doesn't make sense because they're not even developed yet.

Yeah, that's your plan.

I know kids in Texas that keep their kids back a year.

Wow.

They want their kid to be bigger. I want Billy to be the biggest freshman. I want him to be a 15-year-old freshman. We're pushing for right before his 15th birthday. Like, hey, 15 is a sophomore. Billy's a fucking cheater. Why you sandbagging Billy? Yeah, that doesn't bother me nearly as much in a sport like football where I see what you're doing, like you're preparing a kid for a professional future, perhaps, especially in Texas. They're very into it down here. But if it's wrestling, it's like, hey, yeah, hey, there's fucking no money in this, right? And that kid's 16, he's in the 9th grade.

Yeah, it's nuts.

How is the— how old is the oldest that a kid can be and compete in high school sports? Jamie, please put that into our sponsor Perplexity. Let's find out. I wonder if it varies by sport.

Definitely by sport and by state.

Mmm, interesting. Do they all have a cap at 18, or do they allow you to compete at 19?

Yeah, there's gonna be a— but before I even hit enter, I know it's gonna say something about like your graduating class can't be out maybe more than like 2 years or something like that, in case you got held back or you had an injury or something like that.

Boy, I remember from my days of being like 17 and 18, the difference between 17 and 19 was huge.

Huge.

Oh yeah, it's a big difference.

Fuck yeah.

By the time you're 19, you're basically man strength. You know, 17, I was like a boy still. Yeah, you know, like I was flimsy. 17, though, is like a flimsy kid. By the time I was 19, it was— it's a different animal. You've got 2 more years of training and testosterone in you. Yeah, if you're a wrestler, that's got to be a huge advantage.

Every advantage— everything in wrestling is a huge advantage. Starting 1 year earlier is It's crazy.

Huge, huge advantage. Yeah.

19 based off of certain rules.

Oh bro, that's so rude. Making 19-year-olds wrestle against like possibly 15-year-olds is crazy, right? So if you are like in a certain weight class that's not strong, like I wasn't a good wrestler. I was a pretty good wrestler, but I started, I was on the varsity team at my high school and like one year I didn't even cut weight or one one weight class I didn't cut. I was— there was a guy that was below me at like 126 or 128, and he was better than me. And so the next available weight class was 134, which is— that's what I normally weighed when I was 15. So I just wrestled at 134.

That's lovely.

Yeah, I could have been in there with a 19-year-old fucking animal who weighs a buck 60 and dries himself out briefly to hit 134. And there was guys like that, man. You would see them at like the States and you go, what the fuck?

Yeah.

And they were going to camps, so they were wrestling 365 days a year, all year long. Oh yeah, I just started. I didn't know anything.

Same. I started as a freshman in high school and got fucked up.

I didn't even start as a freshman. I started as a sophomore. I started as a sophomore because some kid kicked my ass in the locker room. So some kid grabbed me in a headlock and threw me to the ground and didn't punch me. He could have punched me, decided not to, but I was so humiliated. I was like, oh my god, I need to learn how to wrestle. And then I also wrestled in the park, like in the grass with my friend Steven. And I thought I'd be able— I was a good athlete. I was doing karate. I was like, he can't take me down. He took me down instantly. I was like, oh no, this is terrible.

Yeah, it's a whole different beast.

It's also like how tired you get. I remember thinking, I used to think that I had worked out before that because I had, you know, taken karate classes and done some taekwondo. I thought I'd worked out.

Yeah.

You don't even know what working out is until you go through a wrestling practice. Like, we're running stairs? What?

What?

We're carrying guys around the wrestling room? You pick up your partner, your training partner, you have firemen carry them around the fucking room. Oh, Jesus Christ. Then you're doing push-ups and sit-ups till you puke, and then you're doing live drills. Fuck.

Non-stop, dude.

Animals.

Yeah, we would rotate, you know, there's all those different weight classes. And just for shits and giggles, you know, one of the drills was, you know, escape from the next guy. All right, beep, whistle blows, escape. You're on bottom, you have to get out. The next guy. So sometimes I, at a 103 weight class, I would have Hugh Frost, who was I think 235, 245, 250.

You'd have to wrestle with him?

Oh yeah, just for one drill. And it's a fucking joke. It's a pancake. And he would probably, he was probably showing mercy at the time, obviously, but not really, 'cause he doesn't wanna, he doesn't wanna let this little fucking guy can shithead 103 out from under him. So he's, you know, putting enough pressure to keep everybody there. Not to mention the 165 freak of nature made of muscle and the 185, you know, it was just a drill, but reality hits hard. That's how you see the difference between 15 and 17 and all that.

And someone who actually really knows how to wrestle and just wrestler strength. Like, I always tell people, if you want to look at MMA, like, what is the most important skill? The, the The foundation is wrestling. The foundation. If you wanted your kid to be a badass fighter, you're like, my kid really loves fighting, he thinks he wants to do it, but I want to prepare him right, which I do— teach him how to wrestle. Get that kid into a really good wrestling program, because if you have advanced wrestling, you look at how it shuts down so many fighters. Like, look at what Khamzat did to Dreykus Duplessis. Khamzat, he just ragdolled him. His wrestling is at such a high level. And Drekus, who was a world champion, couldn't do shit to stop it. He just dragged him to the ground anytime he wanted to. He got him in a crucifix like 3 times.

Merab against O'Malley. I mean—

Exactly, exactly.

You were watching a guy that does a no-look right-hand knockout punch into a salute, no look at his opponent, right? Get— I mean, it's just impossible. It appears impossible. And every Khabib fight The thing I always think about first when I think about Khabib fighting is him being on top and having his feet under the other dude's feet, which is just— that's it. It's the final level when you can't even begin the process of posturing out in any way. You are nothing. You are a tissue in an octagon with a man.

And he's wailing on your face. He's wailing on your face, and he has your legs triangled underneath his legs. Legs.

It's always funny when UFC— or when casual UFC fans, uh, don't understand those little things like that that aren't even part of the fight. They're looking up here waiting to see if the punches are going to rain down. Yeah, but the positioning of his feet is what I'm always looking at and how scary it can be here. Oh, he was not even doing it right.

He was hell on top of people. He is right here, that leg being thrown is half guard. It's all the weight.

Nothing you can do. There's just nowhere to go. And all that weight on those hips— people don't realize, like, I notice immediately if I ever see somebody that's kind of on top and their knees are on the ground. Like, if you look, his right knee isn't on the ground.

It looks like it might be, but it keeps slamming those left hands into Johnson's head. I mean, he got hit with like 15, 20 unanswered full-force left-hand blows.

Holding his arms, he can't move, bro.

He's horrible. He was horrible. So good. Khabib was so good, and he would do this to world-class fighters, man. And by the way, Johnson clipped him in that fight too. It was one of the few times in his career where he got clipped.

Yeah, man, that looked really frustrated.

What's that?

Who's the one that looks super frustrated in that?

Barboza?

I'm asking. I don't remember who it was.

Barboza was one of them, but I mean, a lot of guys have fought Khabib look frustrated because there's not a damn thing they could do. No Barboza was like, early in the first round, he had that thousand-yard stare, was like, fuck, I have to go through 3 rounds of this, where they just give up on the idea that they could even win. Yeah, like all you're doing is trying to survive. Yeah, he was a monster, dude.

Like that, his leg being trapped is nuts. And look how he's scooting with it, and he's just slamming punches.

Oh my god, he's just chasing you.

I got the gun right back down.

I thought But if you get up, he's gonna fucking chase you and drag you to the ground again. So you blew all that energy to get up. The moment you try to punch or throw a kick, he's on you. You're on your back again. Punch to the face, punch to the face. Yeah, wrestling's giant. It is the, the biggest skill. Yeah, you have to know how to do everything else too nowadays, because all these kids that, like, you see in the Contender Series, these young guys coming up, man, they're all so fucking talented. He tried to wheel kick him.

And really, more than anything, I feel like wrestling— being outwrestled and being just trapped on the ground is so psychologically demoralizing. We've been training for a UFC fight and the crowd is out there and the lights are on you and you see the logos on the mat because you're facing it.

Back that up a little bit. Let me show you something here too. What's, what's interesting here before that, before the clinch, so after he throws the wheel kick kick. Like, Barboza is trying to win, right? This is the third round. He's trying to win and he throws this— what? But look, no, go before that when he throws the kick. Here it is. So he throws a kick and misses. He's so tired now that when Khabib moves for him, he clinches. Look, he instigated the clinch instead of pushing away, instead of circling to his left. He clinched because he's so tired, dude. He's so tired. And this dude just— look at that face. He just drags him down to the ground again.

2 on 1 on that arm underneath them. Legs being thrown in. He doesn't know what to do with his legs. He actually just put his foot above Khabib because it's so confusing. All that weight on you, you don't know where to even begin to start getting up.

Well, he's— the first thing he's got to do is get that left leg free, and he's not gonna. Yeah, yeah, he's a— he was a monster. He was a monster and retired undefeated.

Yeah, and there's something to being on that mat, not being able to move, knowing that the clock is ticking, and this is not how you pictured this going.

Not only that, this is with the current rules where I think there should be no stand-ups. I think the only time there should be a stand-up is when there's a foul.

Yeah, I completely agree with you. I hate it when they stand people up, even if it's boring.

Yeah, I get it's boring, but the guy can't get up and this guy's holding him down, so he's winning. He's winning. See, I know he's not doing enough. What does that mean? He's biding his time. You've got to let a guy have strategy. Like when Muhammad Ali did rope-a-dope against George Foreman, imagine if the referee's like, you've got to punch back. If you don't punch back— no, he's got a strategy. Strategy is let George Foreman burn himself out and then eventually tee off on him. And that's what he did.

Yeah, it stinks that referees can let the crowd get in their head.

Well, it's the, the organization wants action too. The fans want action. A lot of people disagree with me, and I understand their point. I understand their point, especially if you're a casual. Like, it's gay, get him up, make him fight. They don't want to fight, they want a hug. Boo!

Right.

So what? So what? This is the sport. And if that guy who's on top, who's biding his time and recovering, then decides, okay, now's the time, time. Let me start dropping some bombs. Yeah, because I've recovered.

Good.

Well, he held the position and he recovered his energy, and now he's winning. Like, let him fucking fight. Let him fight. Get out of there. Get out of there.

Yep.

There shouldn't be stand-ups.

And I get it, the referee gets that cheer from the crowd, you know, it feels rewarding.

Sometimes when they stand fights up, I get excited. Yeah, I go, yeah, yeah, here we go.

That's— striker has a chance.

But my position is still the same. I don't think they should stand them up. I'm worse than that. I think they should start each round where they lost the last round.

Oh, I love that. Yeah, that's great.

So every round, why do you get to stand up? Why do you get that advantage the striker gets of standing up when you didn't earn it? Right, get back down there. Yeah, get back down there. Crucifix. Imagine you have to start the round off in a crucifix. Yeah, that's how the round ended. They look at the big screen, get a freeze-frame of the position referee sets you in the exact position and says, ready, fight.

Yeah, yeah, I love that.

Yeah, fuck off. Yeah, the sport is supposed to be— and sometimes it's gonna be boring. Yeah, but that's real though. At least it's real, because there's been a lot of fights where the guy got taken down in the first round, starts out the second round and blasts the guy and knocks him out. And it's like, okay, it's exciting to watch, but he didn't earn that position. He just got that position because the other guy survived the first round. And so it's like, it's one fight, it's not 5 fights, right? So I think it should be one continuous fight with a 1-minute break in each round.

Yeah, that'd be like if the team losing automatically got the kickoff after halftime or something like that.

Yeah, and look, guaranteed if I was running the UFC, it would probably go bankrupt. I'm not the right guy. I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. I'd be a terrible promoter. I'd be too honest about stuff, and I'd want to give people fights that maybe they weren't the most exciting fighters, but they were above the other person in the rankings. I think the rankings should be the whole reason why you make fights.

Sami Zayn won the Universal WWE Championship over this weekend at a big pay-per-view.

I have no idea who that is, but I'm happy for him.

Shocked Cody Rhodes, who was— he was like a guaranteed win.

Wonder what happened.

Rolled them up real quick.

Do you think maybe that was fixed?

Well, it's very entertaining. Very entertaining.

I'm sure it was. I just don't understand how you go back and forth.

Oh, it's the best.

I know you love it.

Well, sometimes— that's what I said about this White House card, by the way, is like, there's nothing that could have happened that they could have written if it was written that would have made it more exciting, right? It felt real the whole time, and the fights that happened before made it feel like anything could happen in that main event. Like, it just felt raw and real, but also storyline, which then when UFC is at its best like that, it's like the WWE. That's what's interesting. Of course, it's not as, you know, uh —exactly.

But it is— it was a special moment, you know. So regardless of how you feel politically, and I understand it, if you're— if you hate the Republicans and you hate the whole idea, I get it. But just as a person who loves a sport, it was a very unusual experience, very unusual. And just— I think people have to just look at some things that way, you know. Some people have a really hard time separating themselves politically because they're going, oh no, that the White House puts on this thing, there's all this bad press because of the war, there's bad press because of this and that, and they put on this thing at the White House and it's sort of like MAGA washes everything, you know what I mean? Yeah, makes everybody like them again, gives them positive press, which undeniable, undeniable, it gave him positive press. I mean, the amount of people that have seen it is nuts, you know. I think just on Paramount It's something like 30-something million now. And, you know, they were telling me that they thought it was probably 150 million people had watched it in some form, which was, you know, TikTok clips, Instagram, YouTube.

But that is a nutty number, man. And I think Dana and Hunter, they were thinking it could get to like a billion people see it, which is just nuts. Yeah, in some form, you know, highlight reels, clips. I mean, just the Gaethje fight alone, just the highlight reels, how many people watch those on Instagram and TikTok? And totally the awareness of the event of the moment was so huge. It was like nothing else. Like, it didn't feel like any other event we had ever— like, I was nervous before it started. Yeah, I could never get nervous for the UFC. I get excited, but I was like legitimately nervous. I was like, I was feeling like a little like, this is crazy. Like, we're on the White House lawn.

Nuts. The flyover is when it really hit.

Yeah, well, when they had all those jets together and they're so close to each other. Yeah, like, imagine if one of those fucking clips another wing spirals right into the ellipse. Yeah, yeah, crazy.

What a spectacle.

Yeah, they would have definitely canceled the fights because— think they canceled the White House Correspondents' Dinner because of that assassination attempt. Damn it. Oh, you had a bunch of bangers on that, I heard.

Yeah, so annoying. I was more excited for that than like anything.

How do they just cancel it? Why didn't they reschedule it? Maybe they're gonna wait until the ballroom's finished. Because that's the argument for the ballroom, that they could have it at a place like that where it's completely secured. Yeah. Kurt Metzger thinks the whole thing's fake. Another fake assassination attempt? Yeah. How'd that guy get in there? Yeah, I think some people are just incompetent. There's incompetence, there's bad security, there's people that don't do their job. Also, there's also people that you didn't expect to be a problem and were a problem. And you're in a hotel.

Also, the guy made it to the first level of the first scanning of security. It's not like he made it into the thing. But he did shoot somebody, right?

I think he shot one of the Secret Service agents in his bulletproof vest. Yeah. Is that true, Jamie? I think so. There were so many stories online, it's so hard to know what was true and what was not. But I think the guy was a teacher. Like a substitute teacher.

Nuts. It's all nuts.

It's like, man, you didn't think this out?

They scheduled it for July 24th. Okay. The Correspondents' Dinner? Yep. Wow. It is on the sun.

You might want to polish up some of them bits. Yeah, it's gonna be some new stuff. Go back and tag some of them with some current events.

Where are they gonna have it? Sorry, I started to—

If they have it at the same spot, that's not smart.

New event held July 24th.

Is that the Pentagon? They might wait.

They might wait to release that.

Yeah, it's not saying— oh, Waldorf— excuse me, Waldorf Astoria.

Oh, okay. Well, I guarantee you they'll tighten that bitch up a little bit.

Oh yeah, I know he was excited to do the jokes.

Oh yeah, yeah, no, he was, he was very pumped.

Yeah, they were bangers. I ran them because the thing happened, I happened to be performing at the Kennedy Center the next, that weekend, the next weekend. So I ran the jokes and I realized that I had Adam Ray as a special guest that was on before me. He brought me on stage and So I go, you know what, even I wrote jokes for the President of the United States to make fun of the press and everybody at the White House Correspondents' Dinner, but I just realized Adam's here. Adam, you want to come out and read these in Trump's voice? And so he was seeing the jokes for the first time and reading them, and we had so much fun.

I didn't know he does a Trump, which doesn't surprise me. I mean, his impressions are insane. He can do anything. Yeah, he could do anything.

He didn't even He did— he was dabbling in a Biden the week that I hit him up to do Trump-Biden, which I think is a fucking— God, I think it's like 40 million or 7, some crazy amount. And again, just like the UFC, God only knows after clips, but it was a monumental comedy fucking moment having Shane as Trump right before the election, Adam as Biden right before the election, right after their first debate where Biden was clearly fucking zonked and sleepy and and just couldn't compete at all. And so I hit up Adam via text. I'm like, do you have a Biden? He's like, I cover it for 5 seconds in my stand-up. I'm like, uh, are you free on Monday to fly to Austin and do Biden if I can get Shane as Trump? And I remember telling Shane, I was like, I'm like, this is going to be an interesting ask, uh, but I, you know, I'm just like, hey, Adam's got a Biden. And Shane's like, I have something to do on Monday, I'm canceling it, I'm doing Trump, he immediately saw the brilliance. It was just such a hot topic at the time, and my God, it was fucking crazy.

There's clips that I see of that episode, and I never rewatch Kill Tony's or anything. I'll see clips sometimes and I literally go, oh my God, holy fucking shit. There's one part where Trump goes, how many more retards are you gonna bring out here? Because there had been like 2 handicapped people on the show. All right, how many more retards you have come— as I'm pulling a name out of the bucket in real time, I go, anything 'Nothing can happen, Mr. President. Let's see what the next guy's like.' And he comes out and he has like these weird deformed penguin arms. Oh God. And you see Shane as Trump and the crowd's dying because they see him first. And you see Shane as Trump look and go, 'Fuck.' It's just one of his, his facial reactions to things are like his greatest secret fucking hilarious weapon. And when he's Trump, it's even amplified. Like, in my opinion, 10 or 20% funnier than even Shane is. I mean, I'm sure he'd admit to this and know it, cuz Trump is just such an interesting polarizing character, and his take on him is so fucking funny, it's psychotic.

His impression's so good.

It's the greatest Trump impression of all time, cuz it's like the jokes are so good. Oh, by far. He's so good. What's, what's funny, J?

Found the part. So epic.

Back it up a little bit.

Another fun appearance by Drew Nickens. This is the best.

All right, Tony, how many more retarded guys do you have back?

Anything can happen.

This crowd is hungry for more retarded guys, and frankly, I don't think we've seen enough retarded guys.

How about a retarded racist?

Would you like to see it?

This next person could be one. I pulled it out of the bucket. It is the Kill Tony debut, I do believe, of Jacob Barr. Everybody, Jacob Barr.

Oh my God, holy shit.

Thank you. Well, well, well. Oh my God. Okay, careful what you wish for. Okay, hold on, we're going to reset this. Jacob, what's funny is, is Adam knows better than anybody that you're not supposed to say anything after the bucket pull comes up. So me grabbing the mic out of his hand and putting it down is even another layer of hilarious to all of us. It's like Biden's misbehaving. I don't know, did you see Shane's face when he notices his hands?

This is it, look.

And then— Fuck.

He's our Jackie Gleason. Oh yeah, without a doubt.

That's what it is. Plus plus, man. He's the great one of our generation. What people don't realize, I mean, obviously, is that he is that funny all the fucking time.

All the time.

We're hanging out in the green room, every bar, every restaurant, every green room, every, every stairway, fucking anywhere, everything. He— I always compare it to Mike Tyson in his prime. He just hits harder and different doing the smallest little things, even if it's a face. If somebody says something and he just like reacts to it, it's crazy. It's also always fun fun.

He's a fun guy. Like, he wants to have fun. Like, even when he's cracking jokes, it's fun. Well, I know he was very reluctant to do the roast, you know. He was a little reluctant to even host that. Like, I don't want to do those things. Yeah, you know.

But well, everything is, you know, everything could be something. He crushed so hard. It caused a real ruckus, him and I end capping that thing, you know what I mean? Yeah, it was supposed to be a, you know, this roast of black excellence, and me and Shane are just fucking having the time of our lives. He got to—

who said it was a roast of black excellence? You're just saying that because it was Kevin Hart?

Well, yeah, that's, that's like, that was—

it wasn't like explicitly stated or anything, right? I mean, because imagine if you said we're gonna have a roast of white excellence, right?

Exactly. No, I know, crazy.

Oh yeah, it's weird. We— you can and can't say— oh yeah, that's weird.

Oh yeah, you know. Yeah, that's a whole thing with I mean, you can't talk about this, but you can talk about that.

Well, it's just weird what we accept, which still like doesn't bother me at all. But like Cain Velasquez, when he fought in the UFC, he used to have Brown Pride tattooed on his chest. Cool. His family came over from Mexico. They literally walked here. Yeah, white pride, not so popular, right? White pride on your chest, you know, fucking Sean Strickland just decided to get white pride. And he posted a picture on Instagram of him as a world champion with white pride on his chest next to Cain Velasquez as a world champion with brown pride on his chest. Yeah, and people would lose their fucking minds. Yes, and again, not saying that Sean would ever put white pride on his chest.

He would. No, he would. I follow him. He doesn't have any tattoos. I follow him on Twitter. He would, trust me. He's a wild boy.

He did a temporary tattoo. He showed up at the UFC even though he's banned. The event? He showed up and they arrested him. Yeah, they kicked him out. He's the world champion. There's a UFC event at the White House at the time before Justin won. He was the only American world champion, and they're like, you can't come. Yeah, because you talk too much shit about Israel.

Mm-hmm. He's a wild boy.

But that's wild that your criticism about Israel is what keeps you from going to the White House as a world champion in a world title fight at the White House. Yeah, like you think you would want to celebrate the American male world champion. I think he said some other stuff too, though. Yeah, some Epstein stuff there. Yeah, he's a wild boy. Yeah, I think he's— I told him when he retires from fighting, he 100% should do a podcast. And he was like, I, you know, I want seeing these guys doing these streamers and like, I go, you don't have to do that. You don't have to do it that way. He's like, I couldn't do that, just sit there every day and talk to people for hours. I'd lose my fucking mind. I'm like, right, but you don't have to do that. Just your opinions on things. He's an awesome podcast guest, you know. I'm like, he could totally, totally do that, just talk about stuff. And also Sean, when he lets the, the whole shtick down sits down and just gives you his opinions on things. Very smart guy. Yeah, he's not stupid at all.

And he would get better at it, you know, as he did it more. He easily could do a podcast.

Yeah, he's entertaining as fuck.

I just can't believe they kicked him out of the White House. And that is— they kicked him out of the Ellipse, that area. There's— I think there's a video of it. See if you can find the video of it. Like, sorry guys. Like, they got like fucking 6 cops in bulletproof vests.

Yeah, I think there was like 85,000 people there. So it's funny that they're like, that one. Champion.

It's just he wasn't supposed to be there. He's banned. He was not invited or whatever. But even if you're not invited, shouldn't you be able to go to the fan area if you're the world champion? If you want to be that wild with no security— and there's video of him from the first night, from the night of the weigh-ins, where they found out that he was there. It's amazing because he was wearing a hoodie the entire time, and someone told him he's got to take off the hoodie, and he's like, 'I can't. Listen, it's gonna be a problem.' And as soon as he takes off the hoodie, everybody goes, "That's fucking Sean Strickland!" And then he's just surrounded by bros. Hilarious. Just getting hugged to death. He asked some dude— some dude asked him to leg kick him, so Sean leg kicked some kid. Crazy. World champion fucking kicking some kid. What is this world coming to? There's starting to be some— it's him. Is it— is there audio.

This is crazy. I like that we have some entertaining American. Oh, he's the most entertaining, that Josh Hoket.

Hoket? Hoket.

Hoket. Yeah, my god, he is—

that was what was hilarious. Was people were so upset that he said Michelle Obama's a man at the White House. It's like, that's what he's doing. He's doing it on purpose. Like, he's literally wearing an American flag bandana. He comes out to a Hulk Hogan song. He's wearing sunglasses. Yeah, it's not appropriate. You're right. Yep, right. But he said the exact same thing when I interviewed him somewhere else. Yeah. He said— I'm pretty sure he said Michelle Obama's a man like last time I interviewed him.

That's what I heard, is that it's not his first rodeo at the Obama is a man.

That's how he ends his interviews. Hilarious. He's trying to get people to talk about him. Yep. You know, it's— the whole thing is so crazy, but all of it would be nothing if he couldn't fight.

Exactly. That's what— that's where it's real exciting, is the pre-fight stuff. I mean, the post-fight interview, pretty polarizing obviously because that was the news, but if you— for the real fans paying attention. Did you— didn't get to see him do that? Did I send it to you? The Kill Tony minute that he did at the press conference? I heard about it. Oh my god, so funny, because he's like purposefully bombing. So he's literally doing a joke. He says, you guys know Tony Hinchcliffe? I'm gonna do my Kill Tony minute. And he's purposefully like bombing. It's corny, purposeful, bad jokes. And he's going, man, tough crowd. All right, let me, let me try this one. And it's like literally being hilarious by strategically trying to be funny but not being funny. You could tell that he was planning on nobody laughing, but that it's set up punch, and he's just fucking trying— he's just trying to entertain. He's trolling. Which is trolling.

He's getting attention, and then the most important thing, he can fight. Yeah, that dude's good. He's fucking good, man. He's fast as shit for a heavyweight. He's very light on his feet. Beat, fast as shit, fast hands.

Yeah, so fun to watch.

And you know what's interesting is he talked a lot of shit about Alex Pereira, and you know, I want a shama on your mama, or all that crazy shit. Pereira losing to Cyril Gane— if Pereira decides to fight again, I don't know if he's gonna fight again, he might be done. I think he said he might be done, but I mean, a lot of fighters say that after a fight, and especially after a loss. Yeah, let him sit around for a while, then they come up with— he's not done— they back up the Brinks truck, get him versus Josh Hoket. Oh my god, as a co-main event on a fucking banging New Year's Eve card.

Oh, let's go! Hoket will be making fun of his headdress and his face makeup.

Oh, it'd be insane. It would be insane. But you know, the thing is, Hoket's got a deal with that guy. That's a different guy. That's not Derrick Lewis. Close. I mean, if he continues to fight heavyweight, it is interesting watching a guy who's been so dominant at 85 and at 205 with that— all that extra weight on. I don't know if that necessarily was the right move, you know. I mean, I think like some weight is probably good, but maybe even £20 lighter, like maybe 230-something, maybe that would be a better weight if you really want to fight at heavyweight, because it seems like he was carrying I mean, just— you ever work out with a weight vest on? Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah, like a 25-pound weight vest. It's nuts how much harder everything is. So you got to realize he had fought at 185 and he fought at 205. That was what he weighed in at. But let's be honest, at 185, I think he probably weighed 220-something, 226 I think it was fight night, which is nuts. It's £40 difference. Difference. And at 205, he probably got into the 230s, like 235, 236, something like that.

But still was not— didn't look like he looked at 251. 251, he looked like he was carrying unnecessary weight, a little bit of it at least. And if he was just like £20 lighter, he would still have that speed and movement. But he's always had crazy knockout power. It might be a weight for it. Just seemed like it was a lot of weight he had on him, you know.

And it all went to his ass.

Yeah, that was giant fat ass. Big fat ass.

You know me, you know that's all I'm looking at. That's why I watch UFC. And yeah, it was all there. It was like a backpack.

Well, that's where all the power comes from, you know, when you're pushing off your feet and, you know, you're pushing off those fucking quads and pushing into those glutes and then torquing that body the way he does. Does. Ferocious power, dude. But damn, that Cyril Gane's good. Whoo! Yeah, whoo! Yeah, crazy. So good, dude. And he's in his prime right now. Cyril Gane is like really coming into his own. There's no heavyweight like him. No one moves like him.

Yeah, I was gonna say, extremely accurate for a heavyweight. Not just accurate, agile.

Because we were talking about this the other day, that basketball is a great place to start if you're a big athlete and you want to learn combat sports. Especially striking, because think about how many direction changes basketball players take where they're always kind of doing that. They're always spinning and moving. It's a series of plyometrics. It's a series of hops and jumps. Like Jordan's jump— imagine if Jordan had a flying knee. Right, right. He's fucking— he's hitting you with a flying knee from 14 feet away.

Yeah, what do you got? What's that?

It's interesting because, uh, Cyril Gann's— yeah, so he started out playing basketball.

At least where I come from, basketball season and foot wrestling season are at the same time. So I wonder what he was doing back then.

Well, he's in France, right? So France does not have wrestling in their high school or in their college, you know, and he learned wrestling after he had become a really elite world-class Muay Thai fighter. Better. So he's got the— the grappling has come up in big ways. Like, his grappling is much better than it used to be, but really primarily he's a striker. And when Jon fought him, like, Jon just got him to the ground and submitted him, like, quickly. It's like the difference— I think in that fight was kind of a big-ass wake-up call. And Francis beat him too. So Francis beat him by just— Francis just got a hold of him, and most of the fight was on the ground, a giant chunk of it, because Francis fought that fight with a blown-out ACL. Wow. Defended his world title with a blown-out ACL. Crazy. Had big-ass knee pads on. Oof. I know, wobbly-ass knee. But that's how dangerous Francis is. Yeah, he could just win it with grappling. It's, it's a shame that he's not in the UFC. It's a real shame. Yeah, because like that whole thing was what drove everyone crazy about boxing You know, that was really hard to get these guys together, you know.

And this was the whole idea why everybody was excited about what Riyadh Season was doing and Turkey Al-Asheikh. And, you know, all those people that put together these big-ass fights like Tyson Fury and Oleksandr Usyk, and the last one they just did, Rico Verhoeven and Usyk. Like, they're putting together these big crazy fights. Like, that was the thing that drove everybody nuts about boxing, and that's what drives everybody nuts about MMA. The one thing is, it's the heavyweight division. The fact that the best heavyweight, or at least the guy who was the lineal heavyweight champion of the world, isn't even fighting for the UFC. That's crazy.

It's crazy. Yeah, who knows? Maybe one day, right?

Nope. No, I think so. I tried to make it happen. Damn. Yeah, I think we need to get those dudes together. Look at that. Look at Cyril Gane dunking. That's crazy. I know. See, that kind of ability to throw your body around like that is so huge as a striker. Because a lot of those guys are plodding, you know, they're plotters. They just kind of like wobble through. I think what they need to do is get Francis and the UFC together, they all do mushrooms. Yeah, just like make friends. Yeah, cuz he doesn't have much time left. I think Francis is 38. Is that how old he is? I think he's 38, which is different as a heavyweight. Heavyweights have— turns 40 in September. Whoa. How much time left, right? 40 you can do, but unless you're Bernard Hopkins fighting at a world-class level in your 40s, kind of unheard of. I remember when Bernard Hopkins fought Kelly Pavlik, a lot of people did not think that he had a chance. Oh yeah, I remember it very clearly, and he outboxed the fuck out of Kelly Pavlik. He looks so good.

Truly the executioner. I want to say he was in his 40s.

When that happened? I think so. How old was Bernard Hopkins when he fought Kelly Pavlik? He fought at a world-class level until he's 50 years old. Yeah, nuts.

Yeah, no, we were all watching that one, everybody from Youngstown going, all right, this is it, we're gonna get back on the right path. Because it was after his loss to Margarito, is that right? It's the guy that got caught with the cement in his gloves against the one guy guy, Mark Antonio Margarito. I do. Yeah, 43.

Wow, he was 43 years old. Wow, crazy. Against a 26-year-old. Crazy. Especially at £170. Like, nobody thinks at that weight that you, you can be competitive at a world-class level into your 40s. Most of the time, like, people just write you off on that number. Yeah, they don't even care what you look like. Like he's not gonna be able to do it.

Was he the first one to beat Kelly? Is that what I just saw? Wow, okay, so he lost to him and that's where shit started to get fucked up, cuz then he went on a bad run after that.

Well, when you got beat up like that, yeah, it's just tough on the brain, dude. There's only so many of them fights that you could take where you get really beat up like that. Bernard put it on him. Mm-hmm. You know, there's been a bunch of fights where a fighter got beat up really badly and then they were never the same again. Meldrick Taylor versus Julio César Chávez, that's a great example. Chávez just put it on him and dropped him in the final moments of the round, and then Richard Steele stopped it. And it was like this crazy fucking controversy because he stopped the fight with like 1 second to go in a fight that Meldrick was ahead on the scorecards. But the, the real, the real story of that fight was that the damage that Chávez had put on Meldrick— Meldrick was never the same again. Again.

Wow. Actually won his next two fights and then had a bad staph infection problem.

Oh wow. So after he beat Sergio— so he was set to fight Paul Williams, but a major staph infection and allergic reaction to some antibiotics nearly killed him. Whoa. He eventually was able to fight again against light middleweight champion Sergio Martinez.

Oh, Sergio Martinez beat him.

Martinez beat beat him. Martinez beat him by, yeah, unanimous 12-round decision. Sergio Martinez was a bad motherfucker.

Yes, he was.

Yeah, in late rounds Martinez came up. Yeah, it's, it's just a crazy sport, man. You only have so many wars in you. There's only so many times you could do that, and the really clever guys are the guys that just don't get hit much.

I went down a Maidana rabbit hole recently. Oh my god, that fucking guy's a freak.

Oh, he's an animal. What a career.

He was an animal. Unbelievable. He fought everybody.

He was one of the few guys to really rock Floyd Mayweather. Yeah, knocked his tooth out and wore his tooth around a chain. Oh yeah, he got Floyd's tooth and wore it as a piece of— see if you can find the tooth that Maidana had of Floyd. Look at that.

Oh, Oh my god, that is so cool.

How hilarious is that? That's so funny. He had his tooth put on a fucking— he wears Floyd's tooth on a necklace. Wow. That's crazy. Boy, what a square-jawed motherfucker that guy is, huh? Yeah. Look at that jaw. That guy looks like he could hit him with a baseball bat. He was a tough dude. Insane career.

I think he fought everybody.

The Broner fight too. He dropped Broner. That was when Broner was in his prime. Time. Yeah, he was a beast. It's a, it's a hard-ass fucking sport. Any combat sport is a hard way to make a living. Profitable. Do you see all the stuff that's going on with Floyd?

Yeah, I can't wrap my head around it. I don't understand how someone makes that much money and doesn't pay taxes or whatever.

Yeah, well, I could tell you how. You run out of money. Yeah, you know, you, you spend so much money on things You don't—

do you think he has a business manager?

Maybe he wasn't looking out for his best interest.

I mean, just, you gotta put somebody in charge of that amount of money.

You would think, you would think $750 million would last you a while. Yeah, he's— I mean, it's not even 50.

Give one guy 5%. How old is Floyd now? I don't know.

Yeah, put someone But the thing is, it's like that lifestyle— his lifestyle was all about showing you his wealth. His lifestyle— he's 49. Imagine making $750 million and you're 49, you're broke. Oh God, that's crazy. But Tyson talks openly about how he spent hundreds of millions of dollars, just went through it. You know, if you're living that life where you're just wearing diamonds everywhere and you're buying crazy watches and And, you know, Floyd does these things. You ever seen where he'll go into a hotel room when he's traveling and he talks about, like, the watches that he brought? And so he opens up suitcases with millions of dollars in watches. He just opens suitcase. You ever seen these? No. Find them, 'cause they're kind of hilarious.

'Cause he's just trying to figure out which one he wants to wear? He brings them all with him? Yeah, it's just showing off.

He's showing off that he's got two suitcases filled with diamond-encrusted take Patek Philippes and, you know, the most high-end of watches. Look at this. See if you have the clip. Here it is. Let's put some volume on this. Look at this. Fucking business, worried about what I'm doing, what Floyd is doing, what Floyd ain't doing, what I do got, what I don't got. Just know I'm gonna stay in my lane. I ain't gonna fuck with nobody, and I don't want nobody fucking with me. If I go on vacation— my fault— when I go on paycation for 30 days, I take 30 watches with me. Look at this. But you know what? You know what? What's crazy is this: if we add 10 more days, I take 10 more watches. But then I say, fuck it, if I want to bring out the one and only, then I bring out the watch that costs $18 million. $18 million.

Oh Jesus.

Matter of fact, you know what I'm gonna do for you motherfucking haters today? I'm gonna go fuck off $50,000 because I ain't got shit else to do. Money made all motherfucking day. You know what's crazy? That's the problem. So that you can only do for so long. Yeah. So if you have one $18 million watch, like, okay, let's not get crazy. Let's not get crazy. You wanted to get it, you got it. You have $750 million. You have one $18 million watch. You can't have 18 watches that cost millions of dollars, like, because you're gonna need more. You're gonna keep wanting to buy more. You're gonna keep— you're gonna run out of money. How many Rolls-Royces do you have? Okay, each one of those is half a million dollars. You have 4 or 5 of them? Hmm. How many Ferraris? You got 10 Ferraris. Okay, what? Some of those Ferraris are almost a million dollars. You have 10 almost a million dollar cars. Cars. Okay, so just in watches and cars alone, we're looking at $50-60 million. Okay, and then you have to make $120+ to actually have $60. I don't know if he's leasing them.

I don't know how he's financing things. I don't know. But I just love to know the real—

make that money back by— he can make the money that he needs back by literally making a super documentary about how he spent it. You ever seen that 30 for 30 Broke the NFL players all spent their money? No. Well, it's unbelievable. One of the easiest watches ever. And like, it's gotta be 30 for 30's like biggest production ever. Like it's everywhere, it's just huge. And yeah, who the hell doesn't wanna know about that? Right. And I'm waiting on that Nicolas Cage doc that probably nobody's making either. Where it's like, 'cause he's a different version of that. You know about this. He went broke? Oh yeah.

But he— and then he made it back again.

Well, yeah, he works his ass off. So he went on a— he's on a tear. He's just making movies left and right. And yeah, going from $100—

he faced severe financial struggles in the late 2000s, going from $150 million fortune to being $6 million in debt. Whoa. He never officially filed for bankruptcy, but he cleared his debts by relentlessly taking on movie roles, including direct-to-video films, and selling off extensive real estate and assets.

I guess he bought like a lot of T-Rex skulls. Like, he spent his money on like crazy things. He didn't just go watches and cars. He would find crazy pieces of art and like old historical things, I think.

Well, he was a movie star from way back. You got to realize, like, what was his first film? I think his first film was like 1980 or something. Yeah, I remember him being a movie star when I was in high school. High school. Yeah, that's a lot of time of being in that bizarro Hollywood bubble, getting your brain cooked by fame.

Yeah, he's one of those— you can watch him do anything— like one of those freaks where even though people will say, I don't like this Nicolas Cage thing, I don't like that, from an article about what he spent his money on—

$455,000 for 2 snakes. Okay, so it was $276,000 in 2005, the equivalent of $455,000 today. Thanks inflation. How crazy is that? What's the— think about that. $275,000 in 2005 is $455,000 today. Damn, how fun is inflation? Wow. What was, uh, Nicolas Cage's first movie? Officially.

Yeah, he's in a few things like unofficially.

Just that crazy movie with him and Raisin Arizona had to be like the first big hit, right? That was a big one. That was a big one.

His new ones are good too, these wacky ones.

Filmography, if you go all the way back, 1982, Fast Times at Ridgemont High is Nicolas Coppola. Valley Girl's what I was thinking of. That was in '83. Yeah, credit is Nicolas Coppola. That's before he changed his name because he didn't want to be connected to— what is his uncle, Francis Ford Coppola? So it is Valley Girl. So Valley Girl was '83, so I was in high school, dude.

Raising Arizona, Peggy Sue Got Married, those are big too.

Big. Those are huge movies, dude. Raising Arizona is so fucking funny. I saw that like a year ago. I forgot, I forgot how funny it was. Was. Remember Ty Cobb or Tex Cobb was in there? The boxer with the flattened nose who fought Larry Holmes. He did a bunch of movies. The big white guy? Yeah, big, big fucking corn-fed white guy on the motorcycle.

Yeah, he's great.

It's a Coen Brothers movie, right? Raising Arizona is. Those guys might be the GOATs. They might be the GOATs of comedy, them and the Farrelly brothers.

Yep, no doubt.

See how many amazing, hilarious fucking movies. And the Coen Brothers was— they were always so out there. Everything's so out there. There. Some of their films are just like, what the fuck are you guys doing? Like Kingpin— was Kingpin Farrelly Brothers? Yes, those guys too. Without a doubt. Fuck, that was good. Unbelievable. Fuck, that's a funny movie.

So fucking great. So funny.

The scene where he's throwing up in the toilet when she's talking about him eating her pussy to pay his rent.

Oh my god. Oh, Woody's range is incredible.

You know what I heard about that movie? That they had primed all the actors to get really excited when Bill Murray throws 3 strikes, 'cause he had to throw 3 strikes in a row. And so they said, "This might take a while, so we're gonna really need your enthusiasm." And then Bill Murray actually threw 3 strikes in a row, first attempt, and everybody went crazy, like, for real. 'Cause they were, you know, like, they were said, "This is not gonna happen this way." So when he actually did it, Everybody went fucking bananas. Nuts.

Fuck, such a good movie. I love it, dude. Woody's a freak, bro. Since he's moved here and goes to Kill Tony and like we hang out and stuff, only after like being— making friends with him, like I knew he did a lot of great stuff, but he sneaks up in so many great things. It's insane. He's in Fuckin'— what is the Coen Brothers one with the— not There Will Be Blood, it was made at the same time with Javier Bardem. Oh my god, how am I blanking on this? It's No Country for Old Men. Oh, that's right, he's in it, and he's not even— they don't even like promote him on that or anything. He just comes in the movie halfway through with all these other fucking greats and is crushing.

It's hard to think that that's the Coen Brothers The People vs.

Larry Flint. He's a freak of nature. Fucking—

it was a thing that you sent me the other day with him when he's playing LBJ. Oh my god, it's so good.

I randomly stumbled across that one. I'm like, I'll fall asleep to this. Woody as LBJ. And it's one of those movies that fucking kept me awake because it was so goddamn good. Mesmerizing. Super nice guy too, like easy to hang out with. Oh my god, the best.

Very chill with everybody, just hangs out. Out. When he's in the green room, he's just like one of us. Yeah, normal. Yeah, you know, it's just hard to do when you've been famous that long, just be cool. Yeah, but also he doesn't have a phone. You get a hold of him, you got to get— go through his wife to get a hold of him. He's smart, just insulates himself from all the nonsense.

Brilliant. So the way to do it—

yeah, but I think when you get to like that level, you kind of have to, or you'll go crazy. Yeah, you know.

Yeah, he has this fun— he likes laughing, sipping his tequila, smoking his weed. He's got it all figured out. Grows his own weed, makes his own tequila, eats live food or whatever, and just laughs and enjoys life. It's perfect.

Yeah, it's nice to know that people can make it through that crazy maze. And you know, you could either go nuts and buy Tyrannosaurus Rex skulls, or you could just completely disconnect from it all and just be yourself. Yourself. Just, just keep, keep killing it. I know him and McConaughey have a TV show that's coming out where they play brothers, right?

Yeah, I think it's on Apple TV coming out soon. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

So, um, what's it been like, like the, the weirdness, the post-roast weirdness?

I'm always surprised by these things. I'm always surprised surprised that they last so long that anybody's talking about it. It's so bizarre. I was surprised with the Pang Dang thing. I was surprised at the Trump thing. And this one is really surprising because with other ones, they're like, ah, there's a time and a place for jokes like that or this or that or whatever. And this is the time and the place for it is like the roast of Kevin Hart. Heart, you know, I'm gonna go for it. Yeah. And we roasted Kevin, you know, I did a fucking George Floyd joke in the, uh, at the Tom Brady roast. And I did a— who's the white guy that shot people? Um, uh, it's the same fan base as, uh, goddamn it, the kid that shot people up in wherever.

Be a little more specific.

The white guy shot a couple people, had a gun at a thing that made it look like it was black people, but it was actually white people that he shot that were shooting at him or had guns. What's his name? Has the—

I have no idea who you're talking about.

David Lucas is friends with him, brought him to the—

oh, Kyle Rittenhouse. That's it, that's it.

Oh, Kyle Rittenhouse joke. I did this and then this one. People are offended or something, I don't know. And yeah, if you just watch that clip on my dismount, it's a crazy clip. But if you watch the entire flow of the roast set. It's just one last departing joke, which— that's my thing, man. It's like, I knew Earthquake would be standing up on his feet like he was halfway through my set, you know. Ha, you know, there's standing Os that are happening during my actual roast. And on this one, because there were so many people on it, it was such a long, big roast, you know, they set you to an allotted time. So I'm like, okay, I'm gonna do something I don't normally do when blast off more jokes per minute than I normally do instead of milking it and getting applause breaks and things like that. I'm just gonna create a bang bang bang bang bang final stand of things. You know what's funny is that I have something that's supposed to offend everybody. Like, I don't want you to like 100% of any of my jokes. I'm not that guy. I'm heelish.

I'm a bad guy wrestling fan. You're pro wrestling heel. Exactly. So what's funny is people got offended about the George Floyd thing, and people, a lot of people said, yeah, well, Pete Davidson did a Charlie Kirk joke, and they're comparing these things from two different spectrums. But what they didn't mention is that I did a Charlie Kirk joke in my set. So fuck them, fuck them, fuck them, fuck them.

You know what I mean? Everybody gets them.

Everybody gets it. It is always— everybody gets some jokes. Everybody does. I said that Kevin has, uh, quite the fan base. He has more gunfire at his merch table than Charlie Kirk. Yeah, or whatever. And, um, so, you know, for them to— for people to nitpick that joke and be offended— and it's funny because it was a lot of, uh, a lot of comedians, a lot of Black comedians were like, I'm upset about this, this, you know, they made their videos, which is just hilarious because they're not on the roast. They're not in attendance at the roast.

You saw Tiffany Haddish.

That was the best one. Nobody handled it better than her.

Find Tiffany Haddish getting asked questions. It was at a TMZ thing. Yeah, about the roast, because she handled it so perfectly.

Trying to— they were trying to bait everybody. Of course they were. Everybody. Even Sheryl Underwood, who handled it all like a champ. We made friends before at a Netflix brunch that week that was for that festival.

Well, dude, I told you about Cheryl.

Yeah, she's the shit.

She's awesome. Yeah, I worked with Cheryl in like the early 2000s, I think it was, in Montreal. I told you, she's a monster. Yeah, she'd go on stage with her purse on, just clutching her purse on stage, and murder. Oh yeah, she'd murder. Here's— listen to Tiffany. Oh, you look so good. Do you have like 30 seconds to chat really quick? Yeah. So talking about Kevin Hart roast, right? Yes, it was so much fun. So Lonnie Love didn't think so. Lonnie Love was like, you know what, it's exhausting, it's edgy, specifically about the George Floyd joke. What are you thinking? Is it just comedy? Should they have been a little less, uh— I think it should have been shorter. The show was too long. Okay, I mean, I'm I was sitting there the whole time. I had to pee. Something— I didn't hear the George Floyd joke because I had to pee so bad. So you was in the bathroom? Yeah, I was a glorified, uh, seat filler, and I was tired. Well, also, I mean, Lonnie and other people were like, oh, maybe it was a little too racially motivated. What do you think as far as like the jokes?

Is this just comedy or are people taking it too seriously? Is this all comedians saying it that wasn't invited?

That's the fucking comedian Tiffany Haddish, bro.

That was her version of the Sean O'Malley walk-off KO.

I love it. I love it, man. You never forget those people that actually are answering honestly in real— well, real comics. And again, it's the same thing for 100%. She's not only— is it a fun walk-off home run, but she's also 100% correct. Correct. There's nobody that was there that was offended. There was no ruckus there. It's just like everything else where you leave and you go, huh, this thing's, this thing's kind of crazily taking off. It seems a lot of people are talking about that one joke at the end. It's so weird.

We live in an outrage culture and an outrage— there's a, there's money in outrage. There's engagement in outrage. Outrage is the it's the commodity that everybody wants. Yeah, they want to be outraged. Yeah, and they want to be right. And if you're outraged and you've got a good point, you just ride that fucking thing for as much juice as you can get out of it, and then you move on to the next thing. Yep. What are you mad at now? It—

you know, there's never in any of these things, there's never a moment where I'm like, okay, this could cause a problem. It was— it's never been that way. While that— it was high fives. Yeah, high fives and laughter after my 3:00 PM set in a half-filled Madison Square Garden waiting for the 8:00 PM arrival of Trump to speak. I'm, you know, on a 34-person lineup. Everyone was thrilled. Way to get the crowd going. I mean, it's just getting the party started. The lights were up. Like, it obviously wasn't the best position for me on that lineup, but the same exact thing. And then it's like a little bit later you realize like, oh, they're making a news story about the Puerto Rico joke of all things. So interesting.

I told you that joke was gonna be a problem. Yeah. I would've never told you to do that joke during that, but I told you that was gonna be a problem in your act.

It wasn't supposed to be in my original thing for that. It was a last second filler 'cause they gave me more time than everybody. It was a very bizarre thing. They gave me more time for every bizarre thing.

First of all, the idea that you would go on after someone, like who went on before you? Stephen Miller?

No, not even. Who was it? It was the national anthem with a guy painting a painting. —thing. Actually, no, he went on after me. I went on right after the national anthem.

But someone had some kind of like rah-rah speech.

Make America great again. I wish there was. That all came like way after me, which is crazy. They just had me on the wrong position on the thing. And, uh, you should only do stand-up where people are doing stand-up.

Totally, totally. It doesn't work. Totally.

It's like, but you gotta say, but then again, it It did work in-house. The place isn't mic'd for stand-up comedy or lit for stand-up or anything like it.

No, they were laughing.

They were having a good old time.

Well, they were probably happy that something wasn't stiff and boring. You know, like taxes and fucking tariffs.

I mean, Rudy Giuliani went on like 3 hours after me. That's crazy. Yeah, it was nuts all day. It was a super long thing. My point being is that it always surprises me me that I'm the news, even though I'm— because if someone else said it, if it was a politician that did it or someone else, someone high up in the administration, that would make sense. Same thing with the roast. If it was a clean comedian, right? If Nate Bargatze or Jim Gaffigan were on it and they said that, that's crazy. Me saying it, that's normal.

They don't know that though. See, the thing is, it's like you've achieved a level of fame that like really snuck up on people over the last couple years, you know. It's because the rise of Kill Tony has been completely organic. Like, there's been no promotion of Kill Tony that made it become what it is. It's all just people sharing it on YouTube, sharing it online. That's all it is— clips and these moments, you know. And then, you know, obviously the Shane moments and all the Kyle Dunnigan. It's been just so many amazing moments. This is a good show. It came organically. And then you got to this point over the last couple years, like, oh, we got to pay attention to this fucking guy. And then we had us— and then after they started attacking you from the White House thing, or the Madison Square Garden thing rather, which is 2024, then it was on. Then it's on like Donkey Kong, right? So that's 2 years later. So now you're a guy that they go to. Like to get mad at. And there's a bunch of people like that online, that that's their business. Their business is people are mad at them, they have hot takes, people are mad at them.

Yeah, I mean, that's— so you're— you've fallen into that category. And so there's gonna be people that genuinely don't like what you did and don't like you, and then there's gonna be people that are just using it as a commodity. They're just using it as outrage, which is part of what the game is, you know. This, this is what they do. Do in their engagement, you know, fucking game that they play. And it's kind of what we do in the joke game. Yeah, you know, you get engagement, you get people to laugh. They— you say outrageous things that you don't even really mean, but this— because it's a funny thing to say. It's just like I always say, Bob Marley didn't really shoot the sheriff. You know that, right? Right. Yeah, it's like, it's just jokes. Like, when you say inappropriate shit on purpose and that is like everybody used to know that like Louis C.K. was a very left-wing progressive guy when he was saying really fucked up things that he didn't mean on purpose because they were funny. Yeah, like that was what he did and everybody was fine with it until somewhere around— it seems like it was like 2016, 2000, like it started to turn a corner where it became like people are starting to take these things as statements rather than as comedy material.

Mm-hmm. And they started trying to pretend that the person really means this. Like, that's where it got crazy. And that happened around the time where social media really came into prominence. Because before that, there was no real avenue to do that. There's no real avenue to pretend you were really deeply upset. Yeah. I mean, I'm sure there's some people that were upset, but there's also a lot of, like, people that are just ill. They're online all the time on these social media apps, just arguing and spitting out venom and yelling at people, and they yell at them. It's like they're in hell all day long. And anytime something comes along they could be upset at, they gotta— they have to have their take. They have to have that hot take. Yeah. And if their hot take gets engagement, they're all looking at their likes and they just start re-engaging with that subject and going back on it. And this is the real problem. Okay. Good luck with that. That's bad for your head, kid. Right, exactly. Very bad for your head. All those people that I know that are like, especially comics that are doing it, the comics that are doing it, almost all of them don't have good careers.

No, all of them, right? None of them have like impressive career, especially compared to their contemporaries that are doing well. And then on top of it, they're all mentally ill. They're all people that are fucking filled up with pharmaceuticals and they're going to therapy. They're literally mentally ill and they're online talking about fascists. Right. You know, like, stop. Like, get your shit together. No one— your opinion is not that valuable to people because they know that you're fucked up. Do you not understand that? Right. Like, the way you view the world is— it's not a healthy, balanced perspective. Like, you're viewing the world in this, like, mentally ill lens.

Well, the whole online thing doesn't— it doesn't even convert to sold tickets or a bigger thing. It's such a temporary drug for them to get to fill this void of what they're not doing, right?

It doesn't convert to them people wanting to go see them. No, I mean, some people maybe they get like a little juice out of it, but it's not enough because you're also opening the door. If you do become popular, you have to understand that if you've been spitting hate at people for a decade and then you become popular, boy, that hate's coming your way. Oh yeah, it's coming your way. You know, and I mean, this is one of the things that I said after the Mencia stuff. I said even though I think it was the right thing to do, I wouldn't do it again because it's just too much. Yeah, it's just too much. You just, you create all— you just feel the darkness of it all, the negative. It's all negative. It's all negative, even though it had to be done because you've got this guy that would— it showed me how completely absent of morals and ethics the business is. Completely absent. They knew what he was doing and they did not care. They didn't care because they were profiting from it. This is the conversation that I had with my agent when they were dumping me.

I told them, I go, "You're making a mistake right now that's gonna affect the rest of your life. You have to understand the choice that you're making. You're choosing to align with someone who in any other industry, that person would be in jail." Right. If that person was— and also if this was in literature or if this was in music, they would be sued into high heaven. 7. Like, there's songs that, like, they don't even seem like they're that close to each other, and people had to give, like, songwriting credits to it. Yeah. Oh yeah. Like, songs— like, people get inspired by certain songs, and then they write a song that sounds close enough that there's a rhythm to it that people get upset.

Well, there's only so many notes and so many chords, and there's only so many beats and so much time And it's often the same thing with comedy. Like, there's some crossovers in a writer's room, which I've been in so many of. So many people writing on the same subject will have the same joke. It's only when it's like what Mencia was doing, word for word, long form.

Well, that was a different thing. He was a buccaneer. That was a totally different thing. But there's songs like— okay, so I was listening to this video the other day, or watching this video the other day, right? Rather, that was comparing Radiohead's Creep to an older song, and they had to give Creep— Radiohead, rather, had to give this older song writing credits for this, which sounds so different. And then Radiohead accused Lana Del Rey, or someone from their organization accused Lana Del Rey of having a song that ripped off Creep, or sounded too much like Creep. Creep, and it did sound a little like Creep, but it was very different. Like, it should be. Obviously, this is like inspired by it, right? If that's the— like, Elvis Presley's entire career was inspired by Black musicians. Like, he's in— like, the way he danced and moved and the way he sang. So it's like, what are we doing? Like, there's stealing and then there's inspired by. Inspired by is what we were all doing. It's like we were talking about that computer earlier. That chip manufacturing thing, that thing was built on the back of all the fucking super wizard geniuses that have been working on all the different technology that led to that being— you can't just invent that in a vacuum.

You have to invent that on all these other inventions that have taken place for decades before you, right? This is— this is like with music. It's interesting how litigious they are. Maybe it's because they're run by a certain group of people. Tony. But they're so good at like suing people. People. Like Bittersweet Symphony, you remember that song? Yeah, totally. They had to give all their money to the Stones. Yep. Because it was— what song? It's— let's ask Perplexity. While Tony is— or while Jamie rather is— don't do that, please.

Oh, I can't do that. That's right. No, you can't. Oh, we have to do it. They'll get us. I know.

It's a 1965 song called The Last Train.

If— I mean, we learned this the hard way because I have an actual band band that can play anything and everything. And years ago, they could play anything and everything. Our old episodes hold, um, because, you know, I'd literally be to a, you know, a shy person, I'd be like, what do you, you know, you ever do karaoke? They're like, yes. I'd go, what song do you sing? And then they go, da da da da. And I literally, they would go right into it. And now you can't hum a song for a few seconds.

So Bittersweet Symphony was a sample from, uh, The Verve developed Bittersweet Symphony from a sample from a 1965 version of Rolling Stones song The Last Time, adding vocals, strings, guitar, and percussion. After a lawsuit by the Rolling Stones' former manager Allen Klein, The Verve relinquished all royalties to the Rolling Stones members Mick Jagger and Keith Richards, who were also added to the songwriting credits. Wow. 2019, 10 years after Klein's death, Jagger, Richards, and Klein's son ceded the rights to The Verve songwriter Richard Ashcroft, because he was probably broke.

There's similar things that have happened recently with, I think, Olivia Rodrigo and Paramore, and then like Puff Daddy.

And yeah, can you please look up the other one that I set up though, which was Radiohead, Creep, Lana Del Rey? And Radiohead, Creep had to give songwriting credits to another band, The Hollies. The Hollies, that's right. What was the original song? The air that I breathe. It's interesting when you listen to— let's listen to them. See if you could find that. There's a comparison video that I watched on YouTube. See if you could find that, because it's interesting how they, they, they say the first one and you're like, geez, I don't see it. Well, we'll have to edit this out, ladies and gentlemen, but you could find it yourself. Radiohead's Creep versus Lana Del Rey's Get Free versus the Hollies' The Air That I Breathe. Yeah, that was a live version of it, but if you hear the recorded version of it, it's even more— you could see. But people get inspired by things. I get it though. I get it in those cases, especially like the beginning of the Hollies song and then the beginning of Radiohead, like, mm, that's fucking dead on. Yeah, they're setting a mood, like a very specific mood.

Have you ever seen how the guy from— here's a crazy one— the guy from The Gorillaz, the song Clint Eastwood, I think it is. He had a, like, one of those, like, little kids kind of keyboards, and he hit the demo button because, like, oftentimes it'll just have a regular song or whatever, and it's the entire backbone of their biggest hit. You'd have to, you'd have to pull it up, I guess, to understand, but it's that Yeah, there it is. So that's just on the thing. Wow. And somehow they got away with it. Wow. And then all they do from there is just— yeah, that's the preset.

It's the Rock 1 preset. That's so crazy. They used that. They used a preset. Set from one of them little machines like a toy.

And much like the fucking crazy jokes that end up getting me in trouble, I bet they don't even think that's gonna be the hit. You know what I mean? Like, they're probably not like, this is the song that's gonna fly off the shelves.

Yeah, but other people see it, Tony. I was the one who told you you're gonna get stabbed for the Puerto Rican joke.

There was— that was so many years later, it's crazy. I was doing that joke during the pandemic to the point to where it got extended to where you were part of of it. And what's funny is I left those tags of the longer joke out of the Trump rally one, which probably would have protected me. It probably would have saved it going, ah, it's gonna get me stabbed, whatever, you know what I mean?

Then you would have to do the Amy Schumer joke.

Well, yeah, there was a lot to it. Yeah, people don't realize that that's a small bit of a much, much bigger chunk at the time.

Well, that's why it should be in a set, you know. Comedy is such a weird art form. I mean, look, I love it to death, but real comedy should be seen in person. Oh yeah, you know, Stanhope said this once, like, it was like everything we do on TV is just to try to get people to come see us in the clubs. Exactly. Like, that's really what it is. It's like you just really want people to go there live because that's the real fun. Yeah, the real fun is all us, a bunch of human beings fucking around and having a good time, right? As soon as you start taking it seriously and making it something that it's not, like, you're— I get why you're doing it because that has become a thing that people do day. But I'm just saying, like, for your own mental health, just not— it's not good for you to be engaging. Like I was saying about the Carlos thing, like, just engaging in conflict, it's not good. It's not good for you. It's bad for you. Yeah, feels bad. It's not good. It's not— it's you— this is— there's negative energy and positive energy.

You should spend as much of your time possible on things that make positive energy. I know that sounds hippie. I mean, 'cause I'm a little bit of hippie. I got a lot of hippie in me. But that's what I believe. I believe you should spend as much of your time having fun, making people laugh, having a good time, and less about dwelling on shit. Yeah. That's why I try to stay off Twitter, because when I get on, I just start freaking out at all the different news stories that are just abomination after abomination, where you're just so angry.

It's just impossible now. And, you know, it used to be Twitter was Twitter and this and that, but really it's just the news. X is the news. It is the news now. It's so hard to absorb that. It was fun and, you know, it's cool and all, and my algorithm still shows me stuff that I love, police chases gone wrong and UFC highlights and all of this stuff, but all the stuff around that is just crazy. I did a thing because I was staying at a hotel in, um, in, uh, DC right after the State of the Union or something. Anyway, I'm like, okay, it's a hotel TV, I never get to watch regular TV, I'm gonna be asleep in a few minutes anyway. So I threw on, um, I ended up going by CNN. I'm like, let's see what these wackos are saying over here, let's see how fake the news can possibly be. Because from what I understand, the most recent State of the Union was a solid State of the Union and very positive and long and entertaining. Let's see what they say. Oh, racism this, he caused the deaths of Black people here, he's the reason why we— why America's failing, it's the reason why we're the laughingstock of the country.

It made me so stressed out. And I'm like, okay, well, let's see what Fox News is saying. And it was crazy over there. And then you have— what did they say? Uh, well, they had their counterpoint person on, unlike CNN where they're just all in agreeance. Yeah, yeah. And going by 6 people literally going, yeah, he's the worst, and let's not forget that he doesn't think trans people deserve this and this. And like, they're just going on and on about straight doom. And Fox News had a counterpoint person that was stressing me out. I— and you know, and I swear to God, I'm not kidding, this is not a joke. I was flipping through the different channels, go by MSNBC, I'm like, oh my God, this is crazy. I put on Silence of the Lambs.— to calm yourself down. I swear to God, I was asleep 5 minutes later. And I ended up— it just coincidentally was on the Buffalo Bill part where like he's got a girl in a well. Put the lotion in the basket. Pure darkness. And I'm like, "Ah, finally some peace on the cable television." I never get to just watch normal TV.

So did Fox News have a positive spin on the State of the Union address? I did not watch it.

Or for some reason it was stressing me out, whatever was going on. Because like, they had, they, at least Fox has, they'll argue still, like the news used to be. They'll have both sides on and kind of talk it out. And CNN has that poor guy, that poor one guy that just takes all the bullets for everybody. He's just going, you're lying. This is, that stat doesn't exist.

Scott Jennings. Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. That poor guy is probably, he probably has months to live. He takes so many bullets every day. He's a fucking war hero out there.

It's a, it's a very turbulent world when it comes to discourse. It's just everybody's mad at everybody else. It's really weird to watch. It's really weird to watch these, these shows on CNN now that are basically like bad podcasts that get interrupted every 5 minutes for a commercial. It's really what it's like. I just don't, I don't remember it being that way where it's just so many panel opinion shows. I remember it was, it was more like CNN used to have Bourdain's show on. Yeah, you know, well, they would travel around the country and check out, or travel around the world and check out food, and it was interesting. Yep. He would, you know, give you his perspective on the cultures and all the problems and the things that these people are facing, their food and what the community was like. Fucking great show. They did a bunch of different shows that were different different, you know. And then somewhere along the line, man, they just went all outrage. Yeah. And I don't think that's going to get any different now. I mean, now it looks like Barry Weiss is going to be running that as well.

So she's running the CBS News, and perhaps she's going to be running CNN, or the same company is going to be running CNN. It's like, okay, yeah, good luck, good luck, because it's already— people already don't want to listen. They don't want to take it Yeah, they, you know, and that's why X has become the news. The reason why it's become the news is because they can't trust the news, right?

You know, totally. It's crazy.

Like, Tim Dillon had these two New York Times reporters on his podcast, and I listened to him talking about it. I hadn't listened to them on the podcast, but I listened to him talking about it, and he was saying that they said there's no evidence that Jeffrey Epstein was intelligence. I was like, what? What? There's no— fuck, watch one Mike Benz episode of my podcast. Where he breaks it down. It's almost impossible that he's not. Right. Like, what the fuck are you— Like, no evidence? No, that's not true. There's just evidence that you're not considering. So, it's like, if the New York Times and the people that we're always supposed to trust to be the objective purveyors of all that's going on in the world, if they're compromised, so they're not allowed to say things, or they have narratives that they're supposed to spin one way or another, or they're very cautious about being honest about their opinions, opinion, very, very shielded about their actual opinions. Either, either one of those is not good. Or if they actually believe that, that's not good either, because that means you're not really paying attention objectively. Like, watch a Mike Benz episode where he breaks down Epstein's connections.

It's nuts. The whole thing's nuts. It's crazy that anybody could say that he wasn't intelligence.

Yeah, there's no doubt about it. But they will do anything to push their own story. They don't.

Yeah, it's, it's a propaganda network. Yeah. And whatever that propaganda is, I mean, that propaganda will shift depending upon who's in control of the realm— of the reins, rather. The realm really is a realm, realm of nonsense. Well, whoever's in control, they're gonna be the ones that dictate how the narrative goes, and it's always going to be whatever the sponsors are. That's why you never hear anything about any of these studies that they're showing about the vaccine safety signals that they found very early on, how they hid did it. All this Fauci stuff, they're, they're not showing any of that. The Tulsi Gabbard speech, we talked about that, where, you know, she gave this speech explaining how he lied to Congress and Fauci pressured these other scientists to change their perspective on whether or not it was gain-of-function research.

And yeah, the shit that we had a pretty big feeling about back in 2020.

Yeah, you don't hear any of these people. They're not covering it. Yeah, and they can't because they can't really tell you the whole news. They can only tell you the news they're approved tell you. That's not good. And that's how X comes about. Yeah. That's how X becomes the place where everybody trusts. But then you go to X and it's just filled with horseshit. There's so much lies. There's always video of something happening and they're saying, this is going on right now. And you're like, and then someone says, no, this is a video from 2022. Right. This is in, you know, this part of the world. This is AI. This is China. This is not Israel. This is, you know, it's like, there's so much horseshit, and there's so many bots. Yeah, it's like you just dip your toe into the water and you just feel poisoned. You're like, I gotta get out of here. Yep. But then you feel irresponsible for not paying attention. Exactly.

You know, I feel like so many people feel like they're doing the right thing watching the news and being informed, and they hear that the news is fake and they think that's just like a Trump talking point. I've always said that Trump calling it fake news was was like one of the worst things that could happen because then it sounds like a Trump thing and the Trump enemies go, "Haha, fake news. Sure it's fake. If he's saying it, then it can't be fake because we have to disagree with him." Meanwhile, it's a fucking— it's a goddamn production. I mean, it is fake.

And they're right, it's fake. Yeah, it's fake. There's a lot of the news, it's fake. It's not true. All that— I mean, the fact that no one got in trouble for all that Russiagate stuff.

Crazy. Absolutely crazy. And that they still listen—

that's the same people that were pushing that Russiagate shit, or they're still giving opinions on TV, right? It's nuts.

Yeah, there's no repercussions to be found. They get to say whatever they want. It's crazy.

Well, the repercussion is no one takes them seriously, and that's real. They've suffered that. I mean, we've seen that in real time. Time. And I think the pandemic was the big— that was the big wake-up call for a lot of people, especially people that were forced to take the vaccine because they had jobs or, you know, they had to fly or they had family members. And then they got some horrible side effect. And those people got what they call red-pilled. You know, I know a lot of people that got red-pilled from that. They just can't take it anymore.

It's crazy. Crazy, and it's bubble-ish, you know what I mean? There's certain areas geographically in which that's the mentality and they stick to it. I mean, here in Austin, I'm known as, you know, uh, a skinny little faggot. I went to LA and it turns out I'm a racist Nazi. Like, I'm like, they were doing jokes on me at that roast in which like, what are you guys talking about? There's parts where I'm literally like, what the fuck? I've never even heard this about myself. I'm on a comedy show every week where people take shots at me, and I've— none of this is a thing.

Well, it's made up, and it's all— they also made up a bunch of stuff about like you going to Saudi Arabia. Yeah, which is crazy, right? Crazy. They just made it up.

Yeah, like not only made it up, turned it down. Like, didn't go when offered offered vast sums of money that the busboy, bagboy Tony would never imagine turning down.

And people don't even know that you turned it down, right? Because you haven't been public about it, right?

I mentioned it. I meant glazed over it on one— for one moment on Kill Tony once.

But yes, the people that turned down that money are you and Shane Gillis. Yeah.

And meanwhile, Netflix clipped that and pinned it on their Instagram, that joke, and with the caption "long sip" because I'm sipping my water because the joke isn't on me, so the camera shouldn't be on me. Meanwhile, they're getting my reaction shot to, oh, you guys took that Saudi Arabian money, and make it— makes it look like I'm offended or something, or guilty of taking Saudi Arabian money.

But just a joke, when you just lie about a fact and to make a joke, is crazy because you're just lying. Like, that's— there's a difference between that and making a joke about something. Like, you had to make something true and then criticize them for something. So you gotta lie about something and then criticize them about that lie that you just invented. Yeah. Which takes 3 seconds to find out it wasn't true. Exactly. It takes a really quick search. Like, oh, he didn't go. Right.

Okay. On the contrary, the, the guys that Chelsea was complimenting during that set, basically Kevin Hart and Pete Davidson did take the money. Right. And went to Saudi Arabia.

Also, you don't think Chelsea Handler would've taken that money if they offered her to go to Saudi Arabia? She went to dinner at Epstein's house. Exactly. The fuck are we talking about?

It's alright, cuz Woody Allen was there.

Yeah, and apparently she gave him the what-have-you. She told him, that's what they said. She told him she was very upset with him. Yeah, at the intelligence agent slash sexual predator's house. Yeah, guys were arrested for statutory rape. That's fine though. Crazy. It's just Yeah, don't be a white guy. It's enough. It's just the whole thing is so stupid. Like, if you want to make fun of someone for anything, for, you know, you looking gay, or you like— you're down with that. But there you— when you invent a fact that's not true, you say it's not true, and then you criticize someone for that, like, that's stupid. That's a stupid way to do comedy.

Yeah, you know, and the way that it's covered and everything, it's like, what are you guys doing?

Well, if you didn't know, and people didn't know obviously because they laughed, they thought you maybe you did go, or maybe Shane did go. They didn't know that you were the two people that did say no. You know, Jessica Kirson went and she got criticized so much she gave her money away. She gave the money away. I think she gave— what did she do with the money? Find out what she did. But I was like, oh man, listen, those people that went to see Jessica Kirson, first of all, heard she murdered over there. She's very funny. She's a fucking dynamo. She's a killer on stage. Very Very entertaining, lovely lady. I love her to death. She's fun to talk to. She fucking murdered over there, I heard. So a lesbian woman from New York went to Saudi Arabia. Like, donates Riyadh Comedy Festival fee to human rights campaign. Well, wow, all that money's going to someone's payroll.

Yeah, it's going to a daycare center in Minneapolis.

Yeah, you feel better, but meanwhile, someone— it's paying for someone's salary that's probably not fixing homeless Muslimness or whatever the fuck it is. That's what they do. Tom Segura went and put a photo of a Ferrari and said, thanks Saudi Arabia. Yeah, but everybody was very upset. But my, my perspective is the people that are in that audience— if you're upset at the people that are paying and organizing, okay, the people that are in that audience though that they're performing to, they don't get a chance to see American stand-up comedy, and they're getting a chance to see it live. And stand-up comedy, like music, like literature, changes people's minds. It changes all art where you see someone, a different person than you, with a totally different perspective, that lives on another side of the world, that says something that you think is hilarious and you love. It changes, you know, it changes people's perspectives. You win hearts and minds. I mean, that's real. Like, you can change the world a little bit by getting people to say, hey, we kind of are— we all have a lot of shared interests. We just want to have fun.

We just want to be with our friends, be with our family, and do what we want to do. Like, everybody wants that, including those people in the audience. Like, those people in the audience in Saudi Arabia were just Saudi Arabian citizens. They're just a bunch of people that lived there. They came out to see comedy. Performing in front of them, I mean, What is wrong with that? It's— was wrong— it's wrong. You're supposed to boycott it because the people that run it probably were involved with the killing of Jamal Khashoggi in some way, or the people that finance it. Okay, maybe. I see, I see how you didn't want to do it, and I see how Shane didn't want to do it, and I probably wouldn't want to do it either, but I don't have any problem with people doing it. I think at the end of the day, you you're just like— I don't have any problem with Saudi Arabia putting on these boxing matches that I talked about. I love that they put on these boxing matches. And oddly enough, that's not really criticized that much, even by like heavy-duty left-wing MMA media, which is a real thing.

There's a lot of like shit, shit libs that are MMA media just because they're journalists and they just happen to be fans, but they have that like hardcore left-wing perspective. They don't seem to have that much of a problem with it, not like people had the problem with the comics over there, where guys like Louis and Bill Burr, they just get destroyed for that.

Yeah, yeah, it's nuts.

But I think Segura had the right move. Just don't even pay attention, fuck off, I'm gonna perform wherever I want to perform, you know?

Yeah, no, makes sense totally. I just can't go straight from a Trump rally to Saudi Arabia, like, a little bit of a hop, a skip, and a jump.

I know, it's also, it's It's like, you know, is that what you want to do? I don't want to go there. It's too long, right? I want to be on a plane for 16 hours to go anywhere.

Yeah, that's why I hate it. I hate flying. Yeah, fuck off. It's terrible.

Come to Texas. Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's just we live in a very polarized society, and I think a large part of that is what we were talking about earlier with social media and mentally ill people just screaming into the fucking void every every day. I just would like to suggest to people, just try not to engage like that for a month and see how much better you feel.

Yeah, just try it. Talk and make friends.

And hopefully that's not how you've set up your life where you have to do that for a living. Hopefully you're not one of those people, because there are people that are paid posters and they make a pretty good living just posting and getting engagement. Well, you know, I don't know what to tell you. You're trapped, right? You know, if you— if your whole thing is like shitting on people all day long, you're kind of trapped. Yeah, but you can't feel good. There's no way. No, there's no way. It's like the amount of cortisol that must be pumping through your body all day where you're going over— and, and I see like people that do that, I see how they get destroyed in the replies, and I'm like, and I know they're reading that, like, good Lord. Yeah. Like, I don't know how Gavin Newsom is still alive. Every time he posts something, the way he gets destroyed in those comments is like fucking insane.

Well, no one is happy. It's just the funniest thing because it's— he reminds me of like one of the last actual politicians. Like, he's a different, just lying, ignoring of facts type of human being because because we're witnessing it. Maybe it's easy for someone in, I don't know, New Hampshire to go, "Ah, that Gavin Newsom's the future." But we lived in California and I've been to San Francisco recently and we've seen it. Like when you travel, you know, comedians aren't the end-all be-all and these wise whatever sages perhaps, but we do travel a lot. And you spend a weekend in a city, and then you're not just doing your shows, you're having lunch somewhere, you're having coffee somewhere, you're dealing with the people at the hotel lot, whatever it may be. There's different communications and vibes and energies. And there's so many of these places, especially California. You know, San Diego's like a last stand. Huntington Beach is an area around there. There's like these little pockets in which there's still some common sense and happiness and joy. Newport. Newport, these little pockets. But those major cities are fucked, man. Even the drive— and you know, I go to LA basically maybe once a year now for a quick, always fun visit, always doing some arena and a couple nights at the store, which is different unfortunately.

But the drive from LAX to that area of West Hollywood/Beverly Hills is gruesome. Everything is for lease, everything is empty. There's nothing new except for the crazy-looking, weird-ass Obama Museum Library, which is the craziest, weirdest eyesore humanly imaginable. Where's that? It's like on the way up there. I can't remember if it's like off of La Ciénega or Fairfax.

That's not the new one, because the new one is in Chicago, is isn't it? Oh, it is.

What's the fucking— they built something that looks just like that monstrosity.

Now, the one in Chicago, people don't like it. I think it looks dope. It looks like— it looks like something from Blade Runner. Yeah, I like it. A lot of people don't like, but it cost a lot of money. Cost like $850 million. See if you can find out what that building looks like.

Show me a photo of something that looks just like that building.

Arts complex on, uh, in Los Angeles. They made—

who did the Obamas? Yeah. Oh, okay. Um, what is the, um, the one in Chicago? A lot of people were criticizing it, and I saw it. I go, that thing looks dope. I love it. Like that thing? Where is it? Yeah, the, the one there where your cursor is. Click on that. Oh, that's a rendering.

I don't think it's done yet.

Oh, it's not done? Maybe.

I don't— I mean, this looks like—

I thought people were in it.

I don't think so.

What's it down there in the lower—

showed this online everyone was going crazy.

I thought people were already going to it. I don't know that. Um, I think that's it. That looks like a rendering to me. That looks fake as fuck. But that one down there, that one down there with the darkness in the corner. Yeah, right there. Is that real? Encyclopedia Britannica? I think that's a real photo. I think it's done. I might be wrong, but see if it— oh, you have Los Angeles, Chicago. Yeah, it's real, so it's up. But I think it looks cool. It's different.

People are saying it's ugly.

It looks like— see if you can find photos of it. Go to images. Yeah, just— here we go. Like there, dude. I think that looks dope.

Really? Yeah, that— yeah, windowless.

Look at how it also— writing on the top. What does it say? Go all the way up, please. Oh, uh, unconstrained convention by— what is it?

It's written on two sides. Side.

So, oh right, oh, goes all the way around it. Oh, that's fucking cool. I think that looks cool. I mean, maybe I have no taste.

I mean, we can't even find an angle of what they're trying to say there.

So, right, I don't know what it's saying, but I think it's cool that they did that, that they had words that go across like that. I just think it looks sick. But I like that kind of brutalist architecture. I think that's what they call it. Yeah. Yeah, I like that kind of cool cement with big glass. Like, there's a lot of houses like that, especially like in the Hollywood Hills, that I love. I looked at one of them back when I was starting to make that cheddar, and, uh, I was like, maybe I should live in Hollywood and then I could just do the store right there. But I was like, probably not that safe. I looked at the house, um, above, um, the store that Mitzi was selling. What was on Colfax? Was that what it was? Was that the street? It was the comic store, the Comic House, where like Kinnison stayed there and Paulie lived there for a while. But I had dogs and I was like, this is not enough backyard, it's too small. And also it's like, it's too close to the machine. Yeah, it's like right next to the beast.

Like, I don't know if I want to be like right next to the beast. I think I'd rather be outside the beast and go visit. Yeah, like that for me, for my head, but I looked at a couple of houses up there and one of them was this house that was like really— it was out of my budget really. I was just— I shouldn't have been looking at it. It's like $10 million bucks and it had crazy like, like concrete with massive windows, but it was right there on the street. Like you're walking on the street, there's a sidewalk, you could lean over and touch the front door of the house. I was like Yeah, this is kind of crazy to buy this house. And the guy was like, don't worry, we have state-of-the-art security system. So I go, yeah, you know what that is? I go, your cameras are gonna catch a guy with a ski mask robbing you. Yeah. And right, 2 weeks after I said that, the guy who owned the house got shot in it. Whoa, 2 weeks, got shot in the neck. Fuck. Yeah. Damn.

Yeah. Yeah, so hey, that's these places, man.

Man. But the arch— that kind of architecture, I think it's dope. I like, like, that crazy modern cement stuff. But for a house, like, what you're gonna live in, the reality is you'd probably be like, I'm sleeping in a museum, this is too weird.

Yeah, I'd rather just have a regular house. Yeah, windows are a necessity.

Yeah, I just want to see stuff. I just want to be able to have a cup of coffee and see some trees, you know? Let me just sit out down and fucking collect my thoughts for the day, you know. I don't necessarily need to be in a fucking museum, concrete-ass, big— it's— there's something weird about it. It's like you're too weird if you live like that. You're weird, man. You're living with this giant 20-foot-high glass wall in front of you that looks out at the Blade Runner scape that is Los Angeles from the hills. Yeah, have you seen that view at night? Night. Have you ever been up to a house? Oh yeah.

Have you seen this house?

Oh, that's sick! I love that house.

It's known as like the Oakley founder's house. I don't know if he still owns it, but yeah, that's up there.

Yeah, that house I love. See, if I was single and a baller, that's where I would live. $210 million, a bargain. Fucking love that shit. I see shit like that, I'm like, oh my god, that's where I love it. But I don't want to live there for real. Yeah, I think after a while you would be like, I'd rather have a log house.

I was trying to find pictures of Kanye's concrete house, but this is not the one I was—

that's fucking dope. I just love those kind of houses that look like that, like especially that one, that circular one, the way you pull into that driveway and the, the entire back house faces the lights and you see the lights. Like, it's hard to see from photos of how— look how sick that looks, Man, that's sick. I love that. But the lights from that, like, if you're up in the hills, you want to be above looking down, and it's like a movie. It's like a sci-fi movie. It's one of the coolest fucking views I've ever seen.

Paulie has the fucking— as crazy as it sounds, that motherfucker, when he made it, he bought a house that's on top, top, top, top, top of the Hollywood Hills. Yeah, with that MTV money. Yeah, dude. It's crazy. He remodeled it recently when I was there for the festival. He's like, dude, you gotta come see the house, come see the house. I'm like, Paulie, I'm so busy. That's very highly unlikely. Come see the house, dude. You gotta come to the house. Sure enough, I went there one afternoon for a fucking coffee, bro. It is crazy. He was right. He's got the house. He did it. It's on top of everything. So there's— if a robber does try to go up there, they're robbing someone else's house. They don't want to go to the tippy top of the fucking hill. That's a tough escape.

That's the problem, is the escape. Yeah, you want to be close to the bottom, right? So you can— right. Speaking of which, I've been watching— I got— went down a rabbit hole the other day on YouTube where street racers— and there's this one guy who is like a famous street racer because there's all these videos of him. He got his, his thing set up where he can shut the lights off. He's got this black Corvette Corvette. I'm gonna send this to you, Jamie. I think I've seen this guy. Yeah, his name is Ryl Slo, like R-Y-L-S-L-O. And he's got videos of these cop encounters, so they like bait cops and then goes on these mad runs. And you watch it, you go, holy shit, I love it. Cars on the screen. Yes, this is the dude. Yeah, so about him, not just— yeah, this is— well, he's like a legend online because he does interviews only with a voice changer where it takes his voice and makes it like that, where he describes all the modifications that he did to his car. But he puts a 3D camera on the back of his car, and he— you know, they have those things where you stick it on the back of your car and it gives you a 3D view of the automobile.

Mobile, and he has video of the cops like flashing their lights, and his car has got 1,000+ horsepower. So these poor cops in their like 300-horsepower fucking Crown Victoria, they try to chase this guy, he just disappears. And then once he gets out of the line, like, go back to that video where it was before. Watch this. I mean, it's— this is—

it's just edited. It's not his videos.

It's just someone— I understand, but if you just— I know this video. But if you— what he does is they start pulling him over, and in the beginning when they pull him over, he hits the gas and then shuts his lights off. Did you pass that spot? Here it is. So, so this is it. So they hit the lights and he's like, see ya. Are they gonna show it?

Yes. This is not the—

okay, so it's not the compilation. So when he does it and he hits the gas, he gets far— here it is— he gets far enough away from them. They're not showing These motherfuckers, they have to edit their own shit. Leaving it alone is better. So he gets ahead of everybody and then just— he has a button where it kills his headlights and he's using night vision. Oh wow. Yeah, it's nuts. So is this it? Yeah, the enters ghost mode here. Yes, this is it. So this is this guy. So his license plate says "Will Run," like it's a fake— it's a fake license plate. The cops get up behind him, they hit the lights, and And he goes, bye! And the cops realize there's no way to catch this guy. It's not— look at that. Oh, lights go out and he's gone. And he's flashing lights on people to get them the fuck out of the way, and there's no way to catch him. And then he bangs U-turns. He knows where he's going. He plots it out. And the thing is, he's filming this and uploading it. Oh yeah. So he's got to hide his identity through how many different channels?

How does Instagram not know who he is? How is he hosting. I guess he's using a VPN, he's probably using a proxy, and he's probably going through some other country or something if he's smart— if he's smart enough to avoid detection. But he just has these fucking crazy car builds. Like, he's got a Calvo Viper that has like— I mean, I don't know how many fucking horsepower that thing has, but they make some of these Calvo Vipers. It's a company here in Texas. They make Vipers that have 2,000 horsepower. Power. What the fuck are you talking about?

I know. Where does he always do it? In the same city?

I think he's in the Dallas area. How fun. Well, yeah, well, not good if you kill somebody, but it's very spooky. Yeah, yeah, it's nuts, man, because this fucking dude really knows how to drive too. And you see these poor cops, and one of them, the cops wipe out, they slammed into another car, and then They're trying to pass by these cones and the road cuts off and the cop hits the cones, then loses control of his car and slams into another car. So like, people can fucking die, especially if he runs a red light and he runs a lot of them and someone's being an idiot. Maybe someone's doing exactly what he's doing while he's running the red light.

Dude, you have to see what Kanye is doing right now. It's a, it's a historical moment in all of art. It's unbelievable.

Yeah, you said that he's standing on the globe, right?

Well, not only that, that. He— the entire everything is a super production, and it's all him. Like, you could tell he's made every decision and tweaked everything to the, to the color of everything, to when it happens, to how it happens, that it's not too much. He's not overwhelming the senses with lasers and lights and all of this. It's all so strategic. But most importantly, it's— first of all, It's the fucking greatest production I've ever seen of anything. And I come from Pink Floyd land where the live show has to be ahead of its time and state of the art and everything for my mind to be blown. And I was expecting this to be like every other rap concert that I've seen, which is going to be fun and good and maybe great. Of course it'll be great, but this was like 1,000 times my expectations because first of all, he's doing pop-up shows at stadiums. Stadiums, which is crazy. He announces it a week or two in advance, and the stadium's like, okay, we're sitting empty that night, we'd love to sell beer and water and get a percentage of merch, right? How these venues work, they don't give a fuck.

And he's not promoting it. Everyone else that's been to one or seen one is promoting it. And then the mayor of whatever city, or whatever leftist person, whether it be the governor of that state or whatever, is like, this shouldn't be happening. So they're promoting it for him, and it's filled to the top of the fucking stadium. Whereas even Pink Floyd or the Rolling Stones or whoever announces a tour all at once and goes, hey, buy tickets, I'm on tour, pretty please come, right? He's just like, San Antonio, July 4th, boom, a week ago, literally. And what's crazy is that my buddy got me tickets to go see him in Tampa because all we knew is that he was going to Tampa. And so there I was, and I'm looking, and it's filled to the top, and the floor is filled, and it's, he doesn't stop, he doesn't take a break. There it is. I saw that on Instagram after his first one that he did, I think it was in LA, and I'm like, oh, that's crazy, I need to see this.

That is nuts, that stage is nuts.

But these pictures and videos do not do any justice to what is happening sound-wise, energy-wise.

Just that stage alone is fucking insane. It's crazy.

And he enters at the— he walks through the crowd because obviously it's in the round. He comes out and you hear a pop from one side because they can kind of see him. And then the globe turns on and, you know, he waits until it's dark. So he is— he enters at one point and then inside is a a lift that only takes him. So like there's no one that can storm that stage or anything 'cause it's inflatable on the outside. So it's impossible, impossible to storm the stage or anything like that. And he's the only one that has access to the lift obviously. And he has a tether that he's attached to so that he doesn't go off or anything.

So he doesn't fall into the balloon. Exactly.

And it is the most diabolical show I've ever seen in my entire life, ever. And that includes all the fucking everythings. And again, I come from the school of Pink Floyd, which is always 10, 20 years ahead of its time production-wise. And this was fucking nuts because he does not stop. He does not take a break. He doesn't go, thank you guys for coming out until the very end in which he goes, it's all about love. I love you guys. Thanks for sticking with me all these years when all these people said this. And then by that point, 2.5 hours in when he's saying that, You're just like, you got to be fucking kidding me.

When you realize the bulk of his work, how many bangers that guy has. Oh, it's nuts, dude.

Bangers. And I, as an experiment, took my one buddy who said that, you know, part of the group was my one friend who has always been like, I don't know, you fucking love Kanye. I mean, not really my thing, but he's not— he's just not really a rap fan is the reality. So I invited him on this trip and his mind was fucking— now he's a diehard Kanye fan. Now he's going back and, you know, realizing that he's always been a Kanye fan. Like, it's such a crazy fucking thing because not only does he have hits on hits on hits, but he does not stop in between songs because some of his beats kind of correlate or this and that. He'll literally really just keep going and going and going until his amazing— on his new album, he has this keyboardist with one of those like crazy blow-into-tube instrument things. I don't know what it's called, but he has a solo, a big one, on one of the songs, which gives Kanye a minute and a half to catch his breath an hour and a half into nonstop going. And also, on top of all that, you know, a rap concert's a rap concert, but Kanye is the greatest producer of all time in that industry.

So every noise that's happening, even if he's not talking or, or singing or rapping into a microphone, is all him and him only. You know what I mean? Like, he might get an idea or an inspiration, as we've talked about, or he's a master of sampling old hit songs and having them be in the backbone of the thing and everything. But this is— it's just a whole nother level. Damn, absolute insanity. Like, I thought I was gonna go there and be like, yeah, and maybe, you know, move a little bit or sing along or whatever. And instead my jaw was dropped the entire time.

Is there anybody that ever bounced back from being canceled like him?

And that's really the underlying thing. There's this feeling of loyalty that's there, and we're right, you know what I mean? There's a feeling that everybody there is like, they're correct. Does that make sense? Yeah, I saw a breakdown of it because my algorithm's feeding me Kanye stuff non-stop since I went to it, because somehow fucking Instagram knows and whatever. And I watched a breakdown of it talking about how, like, it's like this psychiatrist or energy specialist or something that's talking about how and why this is the craziest concert ever done before. And she breaks it down and goes, people that like Kanye believe in themselves. Because if Kanye's saying, I'm the greatest, I'm the man, I'm a god, all of these things makes you not like him and you insecure, you're insecure. Does that make sense? Like, it's like he— if, if that turns you off to somebody, then you don't really like yourself that much.

Why do you think that?

Well, again, this was someone else's psychological breakdown of it, and I'm probably not explaining it correct. I was stoned on a couch.

I see how— what they would be saying to try to defend him. But there's some people that just get turned off by that kind of braggadocious rap music. I don't, right? I love that shit. Well, I love '90s hip-hop. Hip-hop, talking about how great they are. I love it. Yeah, I'm a giant fan of that shit. Yeah, you know, I think like some of my favorite rap lyrics, like some of Nas's lyrics, just him talking about how he's the shit. Yeah, totally. I don't mind it at all, but it's like, it's when you're singing along to that stuff and you're listening to that stuff, like you're feeling what that guy's feeling when he's saying it. And if his raps are hit, if his rhymes are really be hitting, especially like Kanye or any of the greats, you know, Biggie, Tupac, Nas. Like, when they're nailed, it's like, boo! Oh my god. Oh, with good lyrics and good execution, it's a— it's a fucking amazing art form, even if USA really did create it. Yeah, I don't— I don't want to believe that, you know. I think they probably very— they promoted it. What's really interesting is the lack of big rock and roll bands.

I know Jamie's kind of defended this, but I think it's a fact. Oh no, no doubt. There's less big rock and roll bands than when we were a kid. When we were a kid, rock and roll was everything. It was like rock and roll, and if you liked rock and rap, like, you are a weirdo, you know? Yeah, like, I really became a rap fan, like, almost like silently, like secretly, because you had to be a rock fan band. If you, if you loved rock music and you went to rock concerts, like, that's all you liked. But I was like, yeah, but this is good too. Oh yeah, you know, I'd like listen to Ghetto Boys. I'd be like, you gotta listen to this, come listen to this shit, is awesome. Yeah.

Oh, my range is absolutely ridiculous. Well, our green room, I just got Roy Orbison on vinyl. Oh, oh yeah, Pretty Woman. Oh my God. And again, that's one—

we're gonna be in trouble for that, probably. Fuck, fuck. Fuck.

Then again, Pretty Woman, much like Pink Floyd's Wish You Were Here, is like one of my— when you get into their radio stuff, it's kind of funny how some bands and musicians get like typecasted by their hit, whereas like Pretty Woman's kind of repetitive and easy even though it's a jam, right? Mm-hmm. But his other songs that like I hadn't even heard before because I'm like, this guy seems like he has some fucking some hits, and he does, man. And, you know, what I mean by the Pink Floyd thing is it always fascinated me that people go, "Oh yeah, I like Pink Floyd, Wish You Were Here, Another Brick in the Wall," and it's like, damn it, it's because those are the radio songs, because they can't play an 11-minute-long Shine on You Crazy Diamond, right? All their real hits, that they're real— Echoes, which is like 17 minutes and goes slow and fast and bluesy and then jazzy and this and that.

Yeah, there were so many songs like that, especially from like the '70s, where they just took wild chances and had long-ass songs. Like famously, Free Bird. Like record executives were telling them like the beginning of it is too slow. Yep. And they're like, nope, this is the song. Exactly. This is what it is. Bohemian Rhapsody. Yep, there's another one. Yeah. Whole Lotta Love. Yeah, Whole Lotta Love is a minute and a half of fuck sounds. Mm-hmm. Ah, ah, ah, ah, and cymbals and shit.

It's weird. I only recently got to see the, the Queen movie, whatever that is. Is that Bohemian Rhapsody? What do you say? So whatever they—

I haven't seen it.

Yeah, well, I walked in on a part where it's the rec— they're at the record executive's office and he's going, this can't be be the main single off of this thing. And Freddie Mercury's like, dude, it fucking has to. And I'm obviously not quoting this, but— and the record exec's like, man, you're saying gibberish at points. It's slow with a piano. You're saying things that don't even make sense, and it's fucking 8 minutes long. Like, what are you thinking? And they're arguing back and forth and back and forth and his bass player, guitarist, or one of the guys that's in the meeting with this record exec sitting behind a big fancy desk points at the wall and goes, "So you were the record exec that made this, huh?" And he points at Dark Side of the Moon, and you see the record exec go, "Fuck." Because what the fuck was that? It starts with a heartbeat, has no words for the first what, however long.

Also, what is the deal with it aligning with The Wizard of Oz? Crazy. Roger says it's just coincidental. I know, but it seems like the universe organized it. Yeah, it almost seems like evidence of the simulation. Yep, cuz it's so good the way it lines up. Yeah, it's too good.

I've always said it's the craziest coincidence of all times.

I feel like it's evidence of the simulation. Mm-hmm. There's something about it. There's evidence of like some weird bizarre synchronicity between those two pieces of art.

Yeah, the producing that would have been near impossible.

Impossible. Not like you couldn't, but just the amount of planning and figuring things out.

Yeah, technology then would have been so hard to do.

Yeah, so hard. Pink Floyd would have to— they would have literally have to watch it and then go over each beat and decide how high was the person that figured it out too, right?

Right. It's got discussed, but like, yeah, how do you notice that? You're like, hold on, is it con— is It's still going, it's been 45 minutes.

But meanwhile, it's perfect. Like, we've watched it before, it's perfect.

The lyrics are the scariest part. God. Which one is which? At one point when only when, the only moment when both the good witch and the bad witch are there. Yeah, it's nuts. And the wildest one to me is always when she's balancing on the thing, you know, in black and white and with the other farmers around and on the run, that crazy blub blub blub blub blub blub blub starts and she falls off at that exact moment and chaos is happening.

It's crazy. Is there a why in that conspiracy? You know, like, why would they have done that?

Just to do it? Just for funsies? Just because they were Pink Floyd? Yeah.

There's a lot of other movies you could have picked.

Well, I mean, Roger Waters says it was an accident. I know, I'm just saying, like— I know, I know, but the conspiracy theorists, I don't know. I mean, I would imagine they think that— I brought the people that believed that it was some sort of a coordinated conspiracy curiosity. It's like, why wouldn't they say that? Why wouldn't they just say, we lined it up with— it'd be awesome— The Wizard of Oz? Yeah, if they said that, it would make more people watch it and more people listen.

Well, they did pretty good off of it.

Yeah, they did pretty good. Who are we to give them advice? Yeah, speaking of doing pretty good, you're fucking killing it, dude. Congratulations. Thank you, buddy. It's awesome watching it all. Thank you, man. You're taking all the hits. Yeah, keep on moving, keep on trucking.

Just makes Stronger. On to the next one.

Makes the jokes better. New jokes are killing it. Yeah, yeah, it's fun. We're having a good time.

Yeah, Tuesdays and Wednesdays are the best, working them out at the mothership.

Yes sir. All right, I appreciate you, brother.

Thank you, man. Oh yeah, bye everybody.