Transcript of #2459 - Jim Breuer

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Good to see you, my friend. Yeah, you too, young Jamie. So I stopped you. We were getting coffee. I said, stop. Hold this. So what were you saying? Which one first? The prostate one. Okay, so prostate one. Let's go straight to the dick. All right. That is not really the dick. It's like it's behind the dick. So this would be-- I'm an anatomist.

It is behind the dick.

Is that a word? Anatomist. Autopsy. So bladder contains approximately five milliliters of cloudy yellow urine. The prostate is slightly and diffusely enlarged with marked enlargement of the veru montanum.

That's how I would have said it.

The testes are unremarkable. That's the last thing I want anybody to say about my nuts. I want them to say, wow, what a great pair.

Great body, but the nuts are unremarkable. Unremarkable.

Unremarkable. So here is some sort of discussion between him and someone. Okay. The guy says exactly not clear effects hormones might have on that aren't replaced by testosterone. The advantage of taking testosterone, there are two different things. You can have high testosterone and still have a need for Viagra because you don't have a prostate, right? And then Epstein says, Correct. And then at the bottom, they show another document. Dr. Hold on, let me keep going there. So that's an extreme example. I was actually going to try and move up one level sort of drug enhancing life. If you don't mind it. He doesn't mind it. I'm sort of outer space thinking. Oh, so he's trying to juice up. So he's saying, I'm moving up one level of sort of drug enhancing life. I don't know what. I think he means he's gonna start juicing. That's what it sounds like.

So he doesn't have it.

Doesn't have a prostate, it says another document that. Something about it after a radical prostatectomy. Prostatectomy.

So when they take out your prostate?

But that doesn't necessarily say he had his, I think it's a document. But he said he doesn't have a prostate and it says patient Jeffrey Epstein. It says according to the American Urological Association, serum PSA should decrease and remain at undetectable levels after radical prostatectomy. There's other documents where he's contacting doctors that specialize in that very thing. Okay, so the doctor saying he had a radical prostatectomy, he's saying he does not have a prostate, but yet the body from the autopsy talks about the prostate is slightly and diffusely enlarged. So that's not his body? That's what it seems like.

I don't buy, I don't buy, you don't buy that? I don't buy his dead. Why would you, right, right, I don't

buy his dead either. Here's the other, but, however, hold on. This is from a, attorney, so this is like assistant United States attorney or something. So the OCME told me it signed a confidentiality agreement in connection with the investigation into the murder of Jeffrey Epstein. So almost six months after he died, they're asking for a document about the investigation of the murder of Jeffrey Epstein. Was that because there was accusations that it was a murder? That I don't, you know. So we talked about this before that 18 days before he allegedly committed suicide, he complained that his cellmate tried to kill him. And you know who his cellmate is? Oh, you don't know? No. His cell, I'm not Kurt Metzger, you don't know.

Oh, you don't know.

His cellmate was this gigantic cop who was a murderer. He'd killed four different drug dealers. Yeah, he was a contract killer. This is the guy. That's his fucking cellmate. Look at that gorilla.

That's a silverback.

Yeah, dirty cop, murderer. And then they said, most high profile, witness of all time, defendant of all time. Let's put him in jail with a murderer, a guy who contract kills, dirty cop. And then he says, well, the report was they found him unresponsive with a noose around his neck or an orange jumpsuit turned into a rope around his neck. And then he said that his cellmate tried to kill him.

My question, in Does anyone really believe he was in a jail cell? Because I know if I had the guy that can unravel entire government dynasties and take down an entire system, the last thing, dude, he's somewhere about three miles underground with maybe a ball in his mouth with electric rods.

Or he's in Israel sipping my ties.

Correct. Either place, it's like that video you said, you sent this on a runaround, we're gonna ask you one more time, or then we're gonna laser off your nipples. I'm telling you right now, we need to.

Yeah, I doubt they're doing that to him.

So it's, yeah, he's either in Israel,

like you said, if they had that, they would just get rid of his body.

You saw the, you saw the picture of the so-called that was him in Israel?

I think that's AI.

I think it's AI too. That's a scary thing with AI.

I think it even had a little AI watermark on it, the one I saw at least. But who knows? It could be a real picture that someone put through AI to put a watermark on it so that people could go, oh, it's AI.

Right. You don't know.

Do you see the lady that they say looks exactly like Galen Maxwell? I don't think she looks exactly like Galen Maxwell. I think she looks exactly like Galen Maxwell 20 years ago. It was a deep fake. It's a deep fake? Yeah. Oh, okay. Sam Triple A reposted the guy that made it. He made another video that was not as good where he's like looking at Benjamin Netanyahu on the street. It's not, I feel like it's not as good. The problem is the aging. She doesn't look aged. She looks younger. Yeah. But I guess that's what happens when you get out of jail.

And you get more attractive.

Yeah, you get food. You get sunlight. Makeup. A little, a little exercise.

Taking some yoga.

Um, yeah. Is there any video of him in jail? Is there, are there any photos of him in jail? I've never thought about that before, but what you're saying is a good point. That's a good point.

If you, Joe, if you hell, let's say you were the person that had all this incredible information around the world, bribery, do you really think, you take drug lords, you're not killing them, you need the information, so you're gonna bring him somewhere, you're gonna milk him to it, however that is, whether he's tied up, whether he's, you're gonna torment him, be like, listen, I'm telling you right now, we're gonna take care of you, however, I need to know, you say there's tapes, right? Yeah.

Where are the tapes?

Write them down and you're gonna stay. Don't feed him. Don't feed him until we get that one tape and we have these names in our hands. And that's probably been going on even for months, for years. You're not, you're not taking someone like that and going, oh, we're just gonna put this very viable human being into a jail cell where a multiple murderer, with two guys making $18 an hour are gonna watch it. We're sleeping.

Come on, stop! The cameras are down. Stop!

They pre-production. All right, so let's get the green screen and we have him walking in

here, sir, as that looks somewhat and

we can release it down the road. It's processed Hollywood nonsense. I don't buy it.

Igal, okay, this is assuming though that he was working on his own, that he had all this information. So if he's not working on his own, he's working for an intelligence agency, then they have that information as well. So along the way, so there are no secrets that he's holding. They have all the secrets. This is much more likely. So in order for him to be in the position that he was in, allegedly, working for intelligence agencies, working for either the Mossad, the CIA, or both, all the above, I would assume that along the way, all of the information was shared. I do not believe they would let one person have access to all that information and store it themselves. I think they would have access to it at every step of the way. They would communicate with him at every step of the way. And they would probably have, like if I was running a government agency like that, I would say, tell me what's going on. What do you have on Bill Gates? What do you have on Les Wexner? What do you have on these guys? What are they willing to do?

What about these scientists? Are they willing to fill bogus science papers out? And what can we do? Jeffrey Epstein stashed secret files in storage unit across US that may include never-before-seen evidence. Oh. So this came out yesterday that when he got arrested, he supposedly paid for investigators to go round up all of his stuff and put it in various storage units across the country. Like it's a wild goose chase now. And like, that it's stuff that apparently maybe no one's ever seen. They don't know if they're still being paid for. They don't know if-- Imagine if they found-- I mean, you know, those storage unit shows.

I know exactly.

Will they break into those storage unit shows? I don't understand.

And it happened on the real, the real time one.

Right. Like, could you imagine?

Just getting, like, old baseball cards.

I heard those shows are bullshit. A friend of mine told me that what they do is they'll stock those shows. They'll stock those storage units, and then they pretend that they're buying the storage unit that's been abandoned, and then they get in there and then they find things. But those things were.

Yeah, yeah. I don't buy any reality TV.

I know, but that's awful.

Well, it's entertainment.

I feel duped.

Do you really?

I do.

Joe, you really thought one thing, but

it was really not the government corruption, not all the Medicaid fraud, not all the immigration fraud, not all the ice stuff. No, what really bugs me is lying on a storage unit show. I just can't.

Or like a cash cab show, like, are they really contestants?

These are great distractions. These are the great distractions to keep us from paying attention to what's really going on in the world.

Reality TV. There's no reality. It's all well produced.

Wow. How much is it well produced? Here's the question. Is it really well produced? Because it seems like this one was a really shitty production job.

That was a production. That was a bad. That was like low, low. The only guy making it is the guy that's selling the ads.

Well, not just crush. The guy who's in charge of it fucks kids, right? So this one. Yeah. So this one. Why would you let that guy who's gonna eventually get caught, I would assume, if you have a thing for kids, you have a thing for, if you're a pedophile, if you're into like 14 year old girls, I would assume you're gonna get caught. And if I had a guy like that or was this at a time where you couldn't get caught because there was no internet and then it got to a point where he had so much power and control because he'd been there for so long, they couldn't, They're like, oh Jesus Christ, we got a problem.

Well, he's thinking, criminals, they never think they're getting caught, period. Think organized crime. It's no different like the scenes from Goodfellas, right? You come in, you say, what's the matter with you? You show up with a pink Cadillac? What's the matter with you? What's the matter with you? They can't help it. He told everyone, don't spend the money. Don't look flashy. This guy, without a doubt.

His wife had a mink coat on, remember that?

Well, that's right. Take it off. Take it off. He gave it to me for my birthday. Like, get up, what's the matter with you? And now that guy, there's no, this guy, he's just the, you remember when the steroids came out in baseball?

Uh-huh.

And what they do, they were like, listen, you gotta take a hit. You gotta take a hit. Mark, Barry Bonds, you guys, you're gonna go out, we're gonna front you, but don't worry, you're gonna stay in baseball, and we'll let it, it'll go away

in about 10 years.

But the The owners are not going to get popped. The people making the steroids injected, the people aren't going to get popped.

They got popped. Balco got popped. No, they got popped.

The little guys get paid. The little ones.

No, no, no. The head of Balco went to jail. I had him on the podcast after he got out of jail.

What about the owners that knew it was going? What about the agents and lawyers that are supplying their stuff?

No, no, no. Listen, you don't understand about the baseball thing. The Balco had developed a Victor Conte, who had been on the podcast before, Yeah. It was a scientist, essentially. And he had developed a steroid that was undetectable because steroids, they detect them based on certain molecules. And if you adjust certain molecules, it doesn't show up in the test. So he developed this thing called the Clear. He called it the Clear because it evaded tests.

Right.

This is to evade the test that the Major League Baseball Association was doing and any drug tests because this was an unknown steroid. So This was not known by the organizations. It was not known by the teams. It was not known by anybody. People suspected it because Barry Bonds grew five hat sizes and gained 50 fucking pounds of solid muscle. They all suspected it. People suspected it.

Right.

But the bottom line is you don't know what you don't know. And they didn't know. There's no reason to tell them, Hey, guys, we're giving Barry some secret steroids. He did this for his own personal gain. 'Cause he was brought to the attention of this Victor Conte guy, who eventually became an anti-doping guy, which is really weird. He ran SNAC, which is this thing that helps people detect testing and use it. Use supplements that are legal.

Sure.

But I don't think that was known by everybody. I think they kept it all on the DL because there was such a blight that was attached to steroid use. You were a cheater, especially in baseball, which is like the American pastime. Be a cheater in baseball?

Well, I'll tell you this. I remember at that time, because I was in the-- you were in TV world, TV world, and you attract all--

Dude, we did a show-- well, you weren't on the show back then. On Hardball. The Baseball Bonds was on Hardball. Yeah. He was on one of the episodes.

Like, third-- Yes. I remember seeing it, 'cause we'd sit and watch my wife and I, like, Gosh, John, I-- 'Cause we tried out for the same thing, and I rooted--

well, you were on the pilot.

Yes, I was in the pilot, but I've I was rooted for everyone I knew. I was like, oh, my God, it's you.

You've always been like that.

I loved that. But back then, like a couple years later, you'd come friends with certain type of people and lawyers, agents, blah, blah. And I remember one night hanging out, kind of like, wow, this is so and so who, I don't want to get into names and all that, but they would go, You want to hear some crazy phone calls? Like, what do you mean? It's like, boom. And they told me 75%. And I'm like, what?

75%.

75% of what? PEDs are on steroids. I'm like, what? 75%, 80% baseball. I'm like, come on, there's no way. Come on. And then he'd play a phone message. And I didn't want to say this for years because I thought I'd get whacked. Hey, I love you. So, I remember them going, Here, listen to this. And you would hear, like, the wives of my life going, if he hits me one more time, oh, Jesus Christ. I'm reporting all of you. I've got to do it. And then he played the next one like, Hey, man, we got a big series coming up with the Dargers. I need my shit, like, now. I need it by blah, blah, blah.

And who is this person calling?

These were ball players calling their representate-- representation.

So the representation mean their agents.

Agents and lawyers.

So maybe the agents are the people that hooked them up with the people that had the juice, which makes sense. And then they would talk-- But the agents want money.

They want money and now they're the

best way to get money. Guys gotta hit home runs.

This guy hit home runs, he's gotta start feeling the ball. He makes money, I make money.

That makes sense.

And then we all make money and then I start telling, I'm not saying this happened, but if you're an owner, I'm like, Hey Joe, I'm just telling you right now, this guy, you want to keep an eye on him, he's gonna start jacking 20 extra home runs. Really? How's he gonna do that? You'll find out. We don't need to talk about that, but next year, if you've got XYZ budget, I think he'd like to play. So there's a lot at play. And now you're infiltrating children. 'Cause now you're going into the farm leagues and you can't make it unless you start doing that. But that's why I say someone like this guy with a long network, there's so many tentacles all over the place, but you always need the fall guy. Oh, right. I mean, was he the demon? Yeah, but there's a lot of demons there.

Did you see that one, the email that I sent you, Jamie, where He's talking about children for sex. Do you remember, you know the email I sent you, Jamie? I sent it the other day. Well, that pretty much sums it up then, because he actually said it.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Find that. I sent it to you in a text message. This one's crazy. This one's crazy.

I've heard so.

He's having a conversation with a woman who says that she heard that there's a place. Here it is. She's very emotional, kind, loving, sharp. I think you can become friends to. So here it says a friend, Eliza, told me about a project she's doing research searching a really bad guy that gets children for sex sent to his Island. She almost fainted when I told her that person is me.

Wow.

Like what? Okay, so that's just there. There's no way to interpret that any other way. That person is me.

That person is me.

Children for sex sent to his Island. That person is me. Holy. That. That one is crazy. That's 2018.

So, yeah, this has been going on for.

So this is, like, right before he got arrested, right?

Supposedly.

But when did he get arrested? 2019.

2019.

What month? Yeah. I don't know, I felt like it was May, maybe. So this was like, but there was an investigative reporter that was at the head of all this, this lady that was really pushing because she had found out about his sweetheart deal in 2008 and she started gathering information and pushing it. And that's what led ultimately, I think, to his being arrested.

Or, what I would say is the front of like, hey, we're doing things.

Well, if there's a different body that the autopsy had, it makes you question, like, was he ever in that cell or was this person who's in that cell? Did they sell this person as Jeffrey Epstein? Right. Well, you imagine the guy in the cell going, I am not.

No, no, I'm not.

My name is Harvey. I live on the upper East side. I don't know what happened. I got a speeding ticket. Now, next thing you know, I can't go home.

Yes, and this poor guy's just getting railed hard before they're sitting there and he's tying them up on the thing and he says, yeah, are you gonna spin them around for a couple hours?

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I'm looking for when you rest. Big figures. He was a big figure. It's a big to do. Yeah, like Jeffrey, what you do. What about the children?

Care to comment on the children?

What are you doing with the children, Jeffrey?

Why did you need 330 gallons of sulfuric acid? They didn't know about that.

What are chickens? What are chickens?

I don't know what's going on. What is jerky?

What is jerky?

Well, no one knew any of that stuff back then. If he was alive now, for sure those questions would be shouted out.

What is pizza and pasta? What happened at Obama's White House?

What is pizza? Pizza is mentioned like 900 times in the book.

It's a little weird.

It's a code. Clearly is a code.

You know how crazy I felt for the longest time? Like, I'd just be in a coffee shop and I'm like, you guys don't, you don't know, like, oh, yeah, Jim's a little wacky. But now it's, it's coming.

Did you see that video we played the other day of this guy at the airport just yelling out?

Yes.

You guys are going out about your business. The app knows the guy. He's like, the files have been released.

Yeah, I saw that. And they were, they were going, and you're all just gone about your business. The files are released. Kids are being tortured.

Which-- But my question was like, what do you want me to do? What do you-- I'm flying to Atlanta. What do you want me to do? I got a gig.

That is-- what do you want me to do?

Scream and yell at everybody, get arrested? How's that gonna fix anything? This all happened 10 years ago. What do you want me to do?

And what do you do at this point?

Because like it's-- We don't do anything at the airport. You know, you go in your fucking--

At the airport, right? Like, I gotta get home. My wife's mother-- But that's like a

lot of people online. They're very proud. Performative screaming and yelling. We're gonna do this. We got to do it. What do you want us to do?

That's their jurisdiction.

It's outrage farming.

Outrage farming. I like that.

You're outrage farming.

Imagine going to that length though. You're just like, you know what? I really didn't like anything you said. And you have no right being like, who's taking the losses? That's the question.

Well, it's either people, no, but it's people that are trying to farm for attention. They're trying to get extra attention. Or it's people that just aren't that good. They're not that smart.

When's the last time you engaged with anyone online that was like, Rogan, you're this or you're that?

It's been a long time.

Long time, right? Long time. But up into that time, where I

watch fucking Louis J. Gomez do it every day. I'm like, Louis, what are you doing? What are you doing, you psycho? Stop fucking arguing with people online and calling them losers.

Yeah.

No. And comparing your life to theirs, like, don't do it.

You don't know what you're dealing with. You have no clue what you're dealing with.

Not only that, it's like it's a bad frequency to get your brain caught up in. There's so many other things to think about.

Correct.

There's so much going on in the world. There's so many interesting things in life. And the problem with social media algorithms and any kind of algorithm, that you get sucked into is it funnels you into this way. This is what the information that you're getting most of the time. You're getting a lot of bad information, a lot of outrage farming and your frequencies, like the way your brain thinks, funnels down that pathway and you kind of lose control of it instead of having access to all the wonderful things in the world. There's a lot of amazing, fascinating, curiosity driven people out there that are making videos about all kinds of stuff. And you could instead pay attention to that stuff.

Well, that's-- yeah, get trapped. I used to say that even just about news. I remember being a kid, and if you look at every newspaper, and you just watch all the headlines for the news, everything is-- I would sit there and go, okay, something bad happened down here in Brooklyn, something bad. Why do you spend every page or every headline is something negative. You had 8 to 10 million people living in this vicinity. Why do you harp on just propagandizing

and looking at the news? Because they're trying to make money.

And that I don't- It's really simple.

It's really simple that all these major newspapers are struggling, all of them badly. And the only way to get attention is clickbait now, because most of the stories that you get are online. Very few people are buying physical newspapers anymore.

No more. They're dead.

Yeah. Not only that, during COVID I think they kind of nuked their all their credibility. There's a lot of people that just feel like they're all bullshit artists now.

It was an incredible exposing of all information during COVID What is this?

They say this video is him, he sent this to two women from detention.

From prison.

All right, let's see. It's very, it's weird.

I had to borrow the scotch tape

to get the pictures on. On the wall.

Okay, so Darren, why do I have.

Why do you have to see that thing over his face?

I'm pretending I'm talking to Darren.

So. Hi, Darren.

You guys having a good time? You can see I have a little sore on my face that I got from some black guy trying to kiss me. It's really disgusting. Oh, it's really. Oh, anyway, I have pictures up on the wall. I had to borrow the Scotch tape.

To get the pictures on the wall. I'll talk to you guys later. Okay, so that's him in detention. He said somebody tried to kiss him. He's pretty calm when he almost got raped.

Dude, it's pre-production all right, so listen,

just come in the room and say that somebody tried to kiss you.

You got to be into it. Like, that's take number 12. Like, God damn it, Jeffrey. God damn it. Do you need a coke? You need a wine? I need you emotionally tested out.

You don't seem like a guy in jail. So a guy who hasn't been sleeping well, he seems pretty well rested.

Yeah. So, you know, my whole life is bad right now. They're bringing me in, some guy tried to kiss me, it's kind of a bummer. Cut! What? That wasn't good?

All right, I'm trying again.

All right, doing it right now. All right, lighting good, here we go.

Fuck out of here. The best intelligence organizations that can overthrow foreign governments would probably have a plan if they wanted to get the guy out and pretend that somebody else died in his place.

It's been from the beginning of time, no?

Yeah.

From the beginning of time.

From the beginning of time. Well, especially with modern stuff, because you can, with modern masks, remember the tall Biden? There's not a chance in hell that was Biden.

I feel so redeemed. My wife used to get so mad at me. So mad at me. My kids would get so mad at me. And I would say it everywhere. I'd say it on stage, I'd say it on social media. I'd go, I don't care what you say, That is not Joe Biden.

You know, there was also that in the files too. They were talking about this.

Call me crazy. And now all of a sudden they're like, oh no, he was executed. Isn't that what they said? Executed?

That seems sus.

Bro, I went down that rabbit hole.

There's a lot of those emails are just emails, right? First of all, Epstein is dealing with prostitutes, people that are willing to get prostitutes, he's dealing with a lot of criminals and weirdos, and a lot of those people are probably full of shit. So just because somebody writes something in an email doesn't mean it's a fact. However, when you see the video of Tall Biden pull out, pull out Tall

Biden, come on, man.

He grew. He grew and then he went back. They might have put him on some shit and then he shrunk back down again.

And his eye color would change.

This one, right? Yes, that one.

Look at that. He's like 6'9. Look at it. That's a robot. Send out the robot.

You got a video of him walking out there? Because when he walks, look how long his fucking legs are. Look how tall he is. This is absolutely insane.

Like, who's watching this going, yeah, no, that's the same guy.

Not only is he taller, but he moves better. He's more relaxed when he moves.

It was, Joe.

It's like a guy doing an impression of Joe Biden.

Yes, look at his, but look how

long this guy's legs are. This is what's crazy, but rewind that again, please. Here it is. It's good. It's starting from the beginning. But it's good. It's right there. It's good. Just play it. Yeah. It's starting from the-- so here's when he walks out. Look at how long his leg-- this guy's a basketball player. He can dunk.

Look how tall he is. First president that can dunk.

I mean, just stop. Pause it right there, please.

Yeah, right there.

Pause it, pause it. Just the physical frame. When you look at the length of his legs, that's extraordinary. That's not like Jeffrey Epstein's prostate.

No, these are all different.

That is a tall man. Like there's no way that's a short man. There's no way that's a normal. Like, how tall was Joe Biden supposedly? Six feet, six one maybe? How tall was he supposed to be?

The real Joe Biden. Tall, the pre-2019.

I said was like he's dead.

I'm saying he's dead. I'm saying he's long gone wherever he is.

Six feet, okay. I'm putting it out there again, six feet tall. Okay, six feet is like, you know, on the tall-ish side. That guy's taller than six feet. There's no way. That is a tall man. Look at the proportions from his legs to the width of his shoulders, the length of his legs. That's a very tall man.

Who's the casting director for this?

I mean, just being charitable, that's a three inches taller man at least.

The other Joe Biden got sick that day, his wife died, that actor died, and they're like, we need another Joe Biden quick. And then this one showed up like, oh my God, just forget it, well here's the thing, believe everything, send him out.

If you have a guy who's the president and he's known to be of poor health, there's probably gonna be times where he's supposed to make a public appearance, that's not that important, but it's important to just show his face. Well, you gotta keep him in a hospital bed somewhere. So you get a guy, you put the mask on him.

Did you ever see the walk? The walk?

Yeah, his shuffle. That guy doesn't walk like that. That guy walks like an athlete.

It's a robot.

Wait a minute. What?

He looked like a robot.

No, he looks like a guy with bad knees and a bad back. I'm a bad back. You think it's a robot?

I'm taking, I don't know what it is.

No, it's an old man who can't walk good.

I'm putting my chips in.

Do you think you can program a robot to walk like an old man?

Have you, it didn't look like robots

were not that good yet. Robots are not that good yet. Jim, the robots are not that good yet. Trust me, I'm friends with Elon. The robots, they're good, but they're not that, they look like robots. They don't look like humans yet.

You put a little suit and jacket on them, put them up, and you just videotape for three seconds.

No, why would you do that? Three seconds, it's a guy.

All right, no, I agree, this one's a guy, but there's other ones from

like, what is this one, Jamie? Same one? That's the same better version of it. I was just replaying it. Okay, no, that's not a robot.

That's a good-- There's ones where he's walking on the lawn and his legs, like, what is he doing with his legs? It's crazy looking.

Jim, neurologists have looked at this. He walks like a guy with dementia. That's how they walk.

My dad had dementia. He didn't walk anything like that.

Okay, not all people with dementia walk like that, but it's typical of the way people walk when they don't have control of their body anymore. Like, he fell down a lot. Like, it's very odd.

The bicycle went down. I got it. It's a lot of things.

He'd fall down walking upstairs, remember?

Yeah, I remember.

Three times.

I remember. I.

You think it's a robot?

I didn't say it's a hundred cent robot. I'm saying I will put my chips in. I'm at the poker table and they're like, you're really going in all in that that was not Joe Biden. I'm going all in. That's not Joe Biden. I'm gonna tell you never was.

Okay.

From 2021, it never was.

This is a productive line of conversation, but, but this is me. I get it.

Yeah, watch this.

Yeah, what? Yeah, but that's. He's walking in sand, and he's old as dude. He's walking inside.

I get it.

If I walk inside and I'm drunk, I look just like that.

He's got a lot of blood thinners there. Maybe they got to his head. I don't know. He's got a stint. I just.

Jamie, I'm gonna send you something. This is state of the art right now when it comes to robots. And it's pretty fucking good, man. Pretty fucking good. But it's not that. These are robots that can actually do martial arts. It's very impressive.

I feel like I just saw something like this. It was frightening.

It's from China. Yeah, it's from China. So go full screen on this. This is really interesting. So you got these kids, they get out there and these robots do martial arts with them. Like, look at this. It's really wild, man. I mean, it's pretty human. Now, these movements.

If they had suit and ties on, they can pass for a president.

Not yet. Not yet. But look at these things. They can do backflips. Like, this is crazy. They do wheel kicks.

Come on.

It's really nuts, man. So just imagine these things with fucking ARs just running into buildings, gunning people down. 'Cause that's what's coming. Bro, there's a place-- They're gonna be bulletproof. They're gonna have night vision, heat vision, insane hearing.

There's a place in Florida, bro, that have the-- out in the Everglades. It's like this farmland. You never see anyone there, but they have the mechanical robot dogs patrolling everywhere and spraying the fields.

The dogs spray the fields.

There's like all different types of machines that come up and that will like spread and they have these the dogs that patrol everywhere.

It's wild. You can buy one.

I never saw any of that. You can buy them now?

Yeah, you can buy those robots. Yeah, Les was telling me about it.

I think I want one.

Lex Friedman, he actually works with robotics. Like he was an artificial intelligence engineer before he ever started doing podcasts.

You're like, you're like the movie the Fifth Element when the chick came and she got all the information. Like, who's, I'm always fascinated. You have so much information, like brilliant insight information. Who's left on your list where you're like, I gotta, I wanna look at, I need to speak with so and so.

Oh, there's a ton of people. There's always new, you know, like I get a list of, Every week, multiple days a week, I get a list of potential guests. And so I go over the list and a lot of it are scientists. A lot of it is like people that are doing groundbreaking research on like neurodevelopment, genetics. There's a lot of them that come up that are cosmologists that are working on, you know, just bizarre theories. It's, there's always someone that's working on some, you know, like very high level of some esoteric line of, you know, some kind of discipline that I've got very little information about. There's always interesting people.

Shh, that blows my mind. Yeah, it blows my mind. I tried talking to anyone, even some of the words, I'm not educated very well. I mean, they start saying certain words and I'm just, I'm already.

I'm not formally educated very well. I mean, I only went to college for three years and I was barely paying attention. I never paid attention. I was only going to college so that people didn't think I was a loser.

Really?

Yeah, I was doing it whilst fighting and then I was doing it for a little bit while still doing stand up, but I was only doing it so that no one thought I was a loser.

Really?

Yeah.

Is that more, was that like a home thing?

No, it was where I grew up. Everybody was going to college. I went to school at a really good high school, Newton South in Massachusetts, and a lot of the kids were real ambitious and wanted to go to college and get degrees, and I did not. Want to have a job. I was like, what am I doing? I was like very feral. And at the time, all I wanted to do was compete. I was just doing martial arts tournaments all the time, and there was no money in that, you know? So I was like, what am I, what's my career going to be? Like, what am I doing? So this is weird period. So I said, let me just go to college so that no one thinks I'm a loser. So I took a year off school. So from graduated at 17. So for the next year, I didn't, I didn't go to school at all. I just trained.

I don't know the story. So when did you, when did you go, I'm gonna start doing stand up?

When I was 21. Wow.

And you, did you have that desire before then?

Not really. No, I was a fan of stand up. I love stand up. I was talked into doing it by my friend Steve. It's a good buddy of mine, Steve Graham. Because I would make people laugh in the locker room. It was like he was a guy I did Taekwondo with. And he was like, dude, another good friend, Ed Shorter, same thing. Ed and Steve were two guys who I was real tight with that, you know, I would make fun of everybody and just, we were always just joking around.

Right.

And I wanted a lot of attention. I was young. We all did.

Yeah, I did.

So that was, that's how, and then I went to an open mic night and I realized, oh, these people are all, they suck. They're beginners. Like, oh, you could be a beginner. And then I thought about it just like martial arts. If you just work at it, you can get better at it. So if you're just like a little bit funny, if you could just kind of figure out what it is about you, I was like, this is fascinating. It was like a whole new puzzle. But I didn't know if I could ever do it for a living. I was really so confused when I was 21, because I had really kind of decided to stop fighting. And I was still doing it a little bit, but I had like one foot in and one foot out, which is not good. And then I didn't have any prospects. Like, what am I going to-- I'm already 21. I should have already graduated from college by now or be close or getting ready to work on a master's. I should be doing something like a lot of the people that I went to high school with or I should have a trade like a lot of my buddies that went into carpentry or electricity.

I didn't have a career other than teaching.

So within a couple of years, you start because you and I both fairly quickly starting getting in good positions in because if you were 21, I'm gonna say by 25, 20, like 26, you're on hardball.

Yeah. Wow. Yeah.

Yeah, we were really young. That's crazy. That's. That's crazy.

Lucky.

Fast. That happened.

Yeah. Stupid fast. It happened stupid fast and is stupid lucky because I didn't have any aspirations to ever be on TV. There was no part of me that wanted to be an actor on TV. TV zero. It was never an ambition at all, which probably helped me, because when I went in and, you know, talked to the people and did auditions, and it wasn't like, oh, my God, this is my dream. It was like, so what do you guys want me to do? Okay. Yeah, I could play a baseball player. Okay. And they just love the fact that I was, you know, I had a background in Athletics. I I knew a lot about you also went murder.

Like none other at the Laugh Factory. You would go up, and I remember the Disney executives, 'cause that's who did that. I remember them sitting in the back watching you. You did the, the Lions, whatever-- Tigers. The tigers mating. And it would just-- the place would lose their shit. And you're like, oh, oh, oh. It was captivating, watch. It was howling funny, and I'll never forget just looking at them, looking at the executives, and I don't remember their name. I just remember he had a mustache. He had a dark mustache, dark hair. He's from Colorado. He was like, oh, my God. Joe is just shocked. God damn, I can't take it. So you, I mean, wow, that's pretty awesome in that short period of time. I wish I had, no, I won't say I wish I had your mentality then. I have it now. Meaning, back then, I had the desire, like, I want, I want to start buying satin clothes. And I'm gonna start getting nice clothes. I wouldn't have sat the first time I went out there. I bought satin blue pants and satin blue. I was like, I'm gonna be in Hollywood.

I was so retarded.

So retarded.

Well, but you had this whole other I remember seeing you and you were like, we were at some hotel and you were just so you're like, yeah, I'm going to go play pool and work out. You want to you want to like, what? No, I'm looking for rock stars and actors on Melrose. And you're like, yeah, well, I'm not doing that. I'm going to gym and I'm like, you're going to miss out.

And

but I really admired I loved and I admired that about you so much. Oh, thanks.

But I was never interested in, like, Hollywood stuff. It just was not that interesting to me to be around a bunch of famous people and feel weird. I was like, I'd just rather be around normal people. I'd rather play pool, rather go to the gym.

I was like that until I was around famous people.

And then we were like, oh,

okay.

This is uncomfortable.

I want to go home. Yeah, go back.

Oh, I tried to move back to New York. I would have moved back to New York, except I had a lease. I had a lease on an apartment. When the hardball got canceled, I was ready to go back to New York. I was like, fuck this place. This is too uncomfortable for me. And again, I never had any aspirations to be famous. I definitely didn't have any aspirations to act. It was just money. They gave me a lot of money to be on a sitcom. And I was like, okay, I just couldn't believe how much money you could get in a week. Like, this is crazy.

It was crazy.

Yeah, it was like more money than I made in a year and I could make it in a week. I was like, this is nuts. Especially because I went from broke to being on a sitcom.

Yeah, I remember those same things. Like, you're not making any money. And then all of a sudden, like, here, you're making 25 to $50,000 a week. You just come in camera block here and there, and you don't even have to be the star.

It was bananas. But then when I got on News Radio, I was like, oh, this is a whole different kind of a thing. Thing. Like, this is a really good show with really good writing and really good actors. I was like, this is fun. Like, that I enjoyed a lot. But it's. The world of acting is long days, and it's not what I like to do the most. So it was like, you know, it's. It's great, but you can get sucked into that velvet prison, and then, you know, you'd be like, I'd. I'd be talking to my friends. I'd be like, yeah, I just did a week in Florida. It was awesome. Went in there on Wednesday and I was realizing like these guys are selling out on the road and they're traveling all the time. They're having all this fun. I'm like they're doing what I wanted to do, which was like stand up like on the road. I was only doing like small sets in town. I was only doing like 15 minutes at the Laugh Factory, 15 minutes at the store. You know, it's like the real comedy was like headlining, doing an hour, really developing your act.

Right.

And it was like I enjoyed doing news radio, but I didn't enjoy it as much as I enjoyed being around comics, doing sets, being at the clubs, laughing all the time. It's like a different kind of people. The actor people were all worried about what the other actor people were doing. They were all worried about what rating we were, what number we were in the ratings. Correct.

Yes, and that's all they would talk about.

Dude, we were at a table once and they were all bitching about how, you know, we were on, you know, whatever night we were on. We moved like nine times over five years. And back then there was no internet. So you couldn't even tell people that you're not on Monday night anymore, you're not on whatever it was. And so they were all bitching and getting pissed because Sex in the City was on this time slot and the single guy was in this time slot. And if we were there, we'd be number two or whatever. Right. And I was like, guys, last time I checked, We're on TV. Like, this is a dream. Yeah, we're not number one, but we have a funny show and we're on TV. Just fucking enjoy the ride. Yeah.

And it was a great show.

It was a lot of fun.

It was a great show. And you did well, but yeah, that world just never-- But it was just

so lucky to get it so quick. You know, I was on news radio six years into doing stand-up.

Yeah.

And it didn't make any sense to me, but it's also why I wasn't nervous about it. It was like, It seemed so normal to me. Okay, this is the job I'm doing. But it was because I didn't want to do it. Not that I didn't want to do it, but because it wasn't like in my ultimate dream.

Well, that made me laugh. I saw you years later, and I don't know if it was a fear factor or whatever. And someone snarkily, in a snarky way, were like, why would you take this? And you're like, because they're paying me fucking retarded money. They offered fucking retarded money. Like, you wouldn't do this for whatever the episode. And I just, it made me laugh so it's just, you gave the real answer. If I offered you whatever program I'm gonna offer you, I don't know, 20 million for two years, you're gonna go, I'm not doing that. That's ridiculous. Why would I use, why would I leave my sanitation job to money equals freedom?

That's what people need to understand like if you can make a pile of money you get fuck you money and then the key is don't be chasing fuck your mother and fuck your family and correct the world money correct stick with fuck you money, but just make sure you say fuck you so make sure you don't do things you don't want to do and so when fear factor came along I initially took it because I thought it was going to be canceled immediately I was like, it was, I was in a development deal with NBC and they, they sent me this thing and I was like, what the fuck is this? They're going to sic dogs on people. Like I was laughing. I'm pretty sure I was stoned when I first got the pitch.

Yeah.

And I read, I go, this is hilarious. And I don't know if my manager even wanted me to do it. I don't remember. I think they probably wanted me to hold out for a sitcom. And I was like, are you fucking kidding me? This is hilarious. Let me meet with them. And they didn't like me at first because I came in and was making fun of it. And they thought it should be scary because this was fear factor. And I was just joking. I came into the meeting, I was probably stoned. I came into the meeting and I was just cracking jokes about everything and laughing. And they didn't, but then David Hurwitz, who's a friend of mine, who was one of the producers on the show, he's like, no, no, no, no, no. Look, the whole world's gonna be laughing at us. It's way better if the host is laughing. Yes, it's way better.

Yes.

Like, let's just trust.

Like the lunacy of what these lengths these people go to.

They were gonna go live like a sportscaster or something. You know what I mean? Here we are in fear factor. Fear is not a factor for you. Mine on the ninth.

Maggie from Wisconsin is gonna get in the tank.

Yeah.

That's awesome.

Yeah. So it's just luck. A lot of luck, man. A lot of weird luck. I've had a lot of weird luck my whole life. Even coming here is weird luck. Even opening up the club, weird luck.

Why do you say that?

Because a lot of things have to happen. In order for this club to exist, right? A lot of things have to happen. First of all, the COVID thing has to happen, right? And it has to happen in California, where they have very restrictive laws and everything gets locked down, and we can't perform for like, I think the store was shut for a year and a half, man.

Are you serious?

Yeah, California was. NUTS with COVID But over here, almost immediately you could do shows. We were doing the Cap City was doing shows and they had people separated before they went under. They just had the tables moved six feet apart, which is retarded, didn't mean anything. And then when we started doing shows at the Vulcan, that was in November of 2020. So that was pretty soon after the rest of the world was still completely, California and New York were still completely restrictive. Texas was pretty, pretty wide open. And so I, I have to have the kind of money that Spotify gave me. Yeah. And then I have to be so dumb that I'm in the middle of this giant deal. I'm like, I'm just going to move to Texas, which they were like, what are you doing? Like, you need to be in LA. That's where your studio is. That's where the guests are. Right. And I was like, I'm flying, like, at least two or three people a week out to Los Angeles. I bet I could get them to fly to Texas. But it was a dumb gamble. It's not a smart move.

It has to be like the Spotify money. It has to be everything closed down. And then it has to be the store closed down because the store closed down allowed me to get guys like Adam Eget and, you know, and from the store. Yeah, all the people that worked at the store came and worked for me. That's one of the big secrets, Jody, the managers, A lot of the people that are at the mothership came from the store and they were unemployed.

Yeah, but I wouldn't take it. I wouldn't. I like your approach is it luck?

No, but it has to be some luck. Otherwise it doesn't happen. Because if there's no luck, then if there's no COVID lockdown, then all these comics aren't willing to move here.

Correct.

Tony Hinchcliffe, Tom Segura, Christina Pazsitzki, Brian Simpson, everybody moved here.

Right.

So the only reason why anybody move here is because California is locked down. If the store was hopping and they

would be like, why don't they go to LA? Right.

Yeah. So it had to be like a place where you could go and you know, and then you have to have the resources to do something like that. So that has to be like the Spotify thing. Like it's like so many things have to fall into place where it's that kind of a gamble makes sense. Mm.

Yeah. It's a lot of luck. It's a lot of luck, but it's also a lot of decision making and a lot of you, you're very thoughtful and, and you're, the walk that you walk creates an energy and it's an, it's, it's, it's very powerful. It's very inspiring. And I do believe in that stuff. Like the way you've walked most of the life that I've known you, has been, you're probably, you inspired me so much years ago, years and years ago, you came on my radio show and you literally started talking and you called in and I remember I just told everyone, just be quiet, just be quiet and let him go. And just, I knew at that moment you were gonna be changing like culture. If that makes sense. Yes. You went into this deep conversation about we are shifting in humanity. And basically you said, we're either going to live for truth or you're going to be a liar, like leech type thing. It was very powerful. And I think eventually I was like, you know, put Pink Floyd on and put that on somebody.

Oh, yeah.

It is one of the most, because I wanted the world to hear what you said. It was such a, like no other pastor could say, no one could say it the way you said it. So yes, it is all luck, but I do believe that presence that you put out and that energy, it's trusted and it's a force that opens doors without even you knowing it, because it is all for the good in my belief. But anyway, that's my little.

Well, thank you. That's very kind of you. Well, you, you inspired me, too, dude, because when we first started working together, the, one of the worst times I ever bombed, ever, was I was headlining when I really shouldn't have been headlining. I really didn't have an hour. And you and I did a weekend together somewhere, like West niack, New York, or something like that, somewhere yucky, like a holiday thing, but. I did okay every show except the late show Saturday night. You fucking murdered.

I do.

You murdered. And I remember being so nervous. I was so nervous. And I went on stage nervous and I just ate a dick. And I remember it was like one of the worst bombings I've ever had in my life. And I remember thinking at the time, boy, I got to correct something. First of all, I can never go on stage that nervous again. I was like, what was wrong? What was wrong was instead of laughing at you and going on stage having a good time, I was nervous about my own performance, which is like a self-defeating mentality.

Yeah.

And I had to realize that, which is also one of the reasons, like, it really, my, my stand-up bumped up a lot after that weekend. It really did, because I really worked on it hard. Because the bombing was bad.

It was a bomb.

It was a, but this was a bad one. I was supposed to do 45. I bailed at 35. I got in trouble. I was eating dick, dude. I was eating dick. It was horrible. But the same thing happened when I would take Joey on the road with me. And the reason why I would take Joey on the road with me is because he was so hard to follow. So I said, okay. I thought of it just like training partners.

Yes.

Like, you don't want to spar with a guy who sucks. You want to spar with a guy who's better than you.

Right.

So that you could get to his level. Yes. And so with Joey, Joey was so loose and so free, and he was so silly. And I was more rigid, and I tried to do more set-up punch line stuff, but I was I was only, whatever, eight, nine years in, whatever it was, I was still trying to, like, figure it out. And Joey had a rhythm to him. He's just so loose. And I'm like, this is gonna help me. Let me just take this guy on the road with me. First of all, he's the best guy to hang out with. He's so much fun. He seems like, I love him to death.

I never got to hang out with him.

I only hung out with Joey.

I've only gotten to see him in some other places.

He's the best. He's so, everybody, everybody's like, he's so fun. Like when you're around him, it's all hugs and laughs and he's the party. You bring Joey anywhere, the party's with Joey. We would go to dinner, we'd have as much fun at dinner as we would at the show.

Right, he's the entertainment.

Well, he's just a great social engineer. Like he would like, he would like fucking be the maestro that would get everybody going. We would be laughing. And then we'd go to the show, be have a good time. And I learned to laugh at him because he'd be murdering and I'd learned to take that momentum of laughing at him and carry it into the energy of my performance.

Yeah.

So it was like, it was a good thing because a lot of people want the opposite. They want the guy going on before them to suck so they look like a hero. Yeah.

No, I know what that.

There's a lot of people out there rocking that fucking.

I like, I like what you said. I like a guy hitting hard.

Yeah.

And then the nights, like, even I have, I have Brian McKenna opening for me right now and there's nights. I think we were in Louisiana. And I was like, oh shoot, I gotta get up. Like, what is he doing? And that makes me go, oh, all right, I gotta stay crystal clear. Like, I've gotta bring it to this whole level. He's making me-- I love if someone

makes me work, loves-- well, it's not just that, it's also that the crowd gets their money's worth.

Yes.

A bunch of people came out to see you. Like, I've gone to see friends. That are really good comics that I really love. And then I go to see them and they have an opening act. I'm like, Jesus Christ, I gotta go to the bathroom. I gotta go sit outside for 20 minutes and wait for this to end.

That's a bad place to be, whether it's your buddy or not.

They do it because they want a light opener. Ron White's open about it. He talks about, you do better than me, you're getting fired. He doesn't give a fuck, but this, you know, I love Ron, but he's

still out here, no?

But yeah, he's out here. Yeah, he's at the club all the time. He's there tonight. Okay. Yeah, Ron, or tomorrow night, rather. Ron's the best. He's the best.

Okay.

He's the, he's another reason why I came here, because he was already here. Ron moved here before the pandemic.

Oh, wow.

Yeah, he moved here in, I think, 2018 or 19, somewhere around then. And I was like, what? He had a place in Beverly Hills that he kept still, so he'd come back and forth. But he was like, I love Austin. You never have to leave if I'm gonna fly anywhere. It's the middle of the country. The people are nice. The food's great. I was like, Hmm, can I live there? No. That's what my thought was like, I can't live there.

Ron is the type of guy, too, that he doesn't realize how good he is and how popular he is sometimes. He literally, don't ask me why he called me. I have no, oh, I remember it was some bizarre connection. And he's like, Hey, Jim, I keep getting asked to play in London. And I went, Oh, you will murder. Murder in London. He's like, I don't know. I mean, I don't know. I'm like, Ron, if you were to play Scotland, England, Ireland, you're gonna have a whole new-- you're gonna murder. He's like, I don't know if they were. Please, I'm begging you, at least just take the gig. Please just take the gig. And this was a couple of years ago, and apparently he did do it. I was like, Did you? He's like, Man, I heard it. Of course you did. Especially Ron Murphy's style. He's funny.

He's very humble, though.

Ron is very humble guy. Yeah.

He's a great guy. He's the best.

Well, that's what I like. I like to come in here the first time. Because what I like about here is, I reached a point where I have my following, I have my crowd. And if I'm working out stuff, even if it's in an hour, they're gonna be patient with me, 'cause they like me and they've been on my journey. But if I were to go into a club and do 15 minutes, I better, I better, they're not my, a lot of them don't know me. And I have to, and I remember the first time I came here, I didn't wanna go on stage. I just go on stage, I'm like, I don't know, I'm like, all right, I'm gonna go on stage. On stage, wow. It was like, okay, yeah, I'm not, wow, seven more minutes. Okay, I didn't even finish my setup yet. This is, this made me, this place made me want to start working harder again and go, hey man, you gotta put the gloves on. Not that I had any lack of confidence of what I put out there for an hour, but those short little 15 minute when they see everybody, it doesn't matter.

It's an even playing field. It's pretty awesome.

Well, it was great. That was great about the store too. Like you would get a night where you had like seven, eight national headliners in a row.

You know, I saw that one and they don't care after a while. Just bring the funny. I saw someone from a huge sitcom go on stage, place loses their mind. Even I was a little like, oh wow, oh wow. And about-- they did the shtick of their character, and about five minutes in, they were like, okay, we're done. You tell jokes, or you're just gonna be the TV guy? And it's like, they don't-- they've seen everything. You gotta come with the goods. You gotta work it.

TV guy thing. We used to see that all the time in LA, too. Well, that's what led to Kramer, that meltdown.

Well, that's who it was.

Yeah.

I didn't wanna say-- I didn't wanna say. He first walked up, I was like,

oh, dude, I know.

And then after about five, seven minutes.

Yeah.

And this one was at the improv, and I'm watching, like, oh, wow. Oh, wow. He don't have material. He's just, wow.

Which is crazy.

They turned on quick.

Imagine thinking that you could do 15 minutes with no material. I just don't understand.

Comics make it look easy. You know how many people go, how many people have you met that go, you know what, you inspired, I'm gonna start doing stand-up? Okay.

Some of them, you're like, Please don't.

You're like, okay, I still get, I'm starting next week, here's my first set, they'll send me a set of their first set. Comedians make it look like we just walk up and just wing it.

Well, it's also guys used to performing in front of a live audience when he does a sitcom and everybody loves him. And if he could make people laugh for a minute, he thinks he could probably make make people laugh for multiple minutes.

Right.

Just keep it going. Just do the same thing for 15 minutes.

And the little side of us, it just back then, I root for everyone, but when those guys walk off, we're like, go down, all right, John. Yeah. There's nothing more.

We don't like anybody that's half stepping, right? No, half in, not really doing it.

Right.

Like you just taking up 15 minutes from someone that could be doing it.

Correct. I used to. Do you know Neil Brett? Not Neil, Kevin?

No, I don't know Kevin very well. I've met him, I'm sure. I remember him doing sets in New York back in the day.

Kevin would get so pissed because, wow, what's the, he's a famous guitar player. Oh my God. John Mayer, yes, John Mayer. So Kevin would come in, he'd come into the radio and be like, He's going up, he's doing fucking 20 minutes, and he sucks. I can't go to Madison Square Garden and go, Give me the guitar for 20 minutes. It's my fucking time. Comics would get really edgy. They didn't care who you were. They'd go in, I'd love to listen. He would rant and I would howl listening to rant. Of course, I would prod the tiger once while, and he'd start going, I'm like, There you go. Fucking crazy. Fucking John Mayer. All right, I get it. You play, fucking get off the stage.

Oh my God. Yeah, comics are very turtoil about the art form. You know, like when someone tries to do it that's not a comic, they automatically kind of reject them. I'm always like, Give 'em a chance. Never know. Never fucking know. Never know. Never know. A guy who's been acting but really always wanted to stand up might have some good ideas and might might really throw themselves into it. It's possible. Why would you assume it's impossible? It's possible.

It is possible.

But the reality in LA is a lot of them were doing it because the whole casting thing had dried up for them, right? So they weren't getting brought into shows anymore, so they decided to do stand-up and they would just, you know, put together an act, like write an act. Yeah, but it wasn't what they really loved. So it wasn't what they really threw.

Paycheck.

Yeah.

It's a little paycheck to get them back.

It was a career decision. It was like pivoting, you know?

Yeah, I know a couple guys like that.

Yeah.

Sitcom or. Or a sketch show or even, like, an SNL character didn't do stand up, and now they'll tour and try to do whatever.

So here's an interesting thing I should tell you, because you'll really, you, you know this person, okay? I actually made up with Mark Merritt the other day. We actually had, I had to help him with something. I had to inform him about something. And he sent me a very sincere message of thank you. And then I sent him a message back that was sincere. And I said, Look, I'm not your enemy. I'm sure if we, sorry, despite our differences, I'm sure if we saw each other within a few minutes, we'd be laughing and smiling. Which is generally how I interacted with him for the most part. I had only a few bad interactions with him. And he was pretty honest about how, you know, maybe it's his own mind. But it was a very sincere interaction, which made me happy. It's not good to have enemies, man.

No, it's really not.

It's not good.

I've had maybe two or three

that

have vocally put out on-- Because I'm not into the Twitter insulting or going on other programs insulting. If you have an issue, tell me. And then we'll deal with it the way to real humans do it. When that whole thing-- I have a funny feeling I know it. Some of his issues were, but I felt, and I put it out there. I felt, I felt bad because for years I didn't have great interact. When I started, listen, I'm not poo-pooing or whatever, but, yeah, a lot of guys didn't like me. They were like, who's this animated, loud-mouthed kid coming in here, confident and blah, blah. And he, he would always kind of like, I'll never forget, he'd be like, you're gonna woo him, you're gonna womb tonight with your.

He was trying to sabotage you. It was a competition thing.

And I understood that because I'm still

back then, you made a whole video about it.

Correct. Yeah, I saw that video. And so as we went on, I actually was so happy for him once he got WTF because you saw like,

wow, he became a different person.

And he found his niche.

And he became friendly. He was easy to be around. He was so His podcast was killing it, and then he had a show on the IFC Marin. He was doing great. He was way easier to hang around with.

He was incredible.

Because all the angst had been removed, and he'd become a made man, right? Made man, and we'd become legit.

Who cares who else is being made? Exactly, exactly.

But then when things go south, then it's hard to maintain that same mindset. It's very easy for me to say, Oh, just relax and who cares? Everybody should be happy that all these people are doing well. But if you're not doing well, that jealousy is a natural thing. I've experienced it before. I've experienced it. I know the feeling. I've experienced it for brief moments before, you know, even like, you know, eight, nine years ago, maybe even it's like there's moments where someone's really killing it. You're like, oh, what the fuck? But then I realized in my head, like, God, that's a bitch ass way of thinking. Don't hold a grudge. On to that.

No, we're on our own journey. This is our world.

But also, that same feeling can instead be inspiration. Like when you and I worked together and I bombed, one of the things that inspired me was not just, I gotta get better because I bombed, but you murdered. You had that bit about coming home drunk.

Coming home wasted.

And your mother was turned into a demon. Yeah, it was a great demon with a great pan. But it was so animated and big. And it didn't make me hate you, I loved you. We were great friends. I was like, that is so good. It just made me want to get better. So that same feeling that can turn you, oh, you're gonna do woo-woo on me? Yeah.

You're gonna do your bullshit?

Instead, I was like, fuck, Jim, you're killing it, man. That's awesome.

Yes.

I come from a different world, and my world requires other people around you to be as good or better than you. The martial arts world. Like when I was a four-time state champion and I was doing, I wasn't necessarily the best guy in the gym. There was guys in the gym that were better than me. Yeah, always. There was other guys that were also state champions. Some of them were national champions. They were better than me. But because I was around those people training hard all the time, that's why I got so good. It was because I was around people as good, if not better than me, all the time. That it elevated my level. So I felt the same way about stand-up. I'm like, you need those people that make you feel uncomfortable. They make you feel like, fuck, I gotta go to work.

Yes. And whether it's him or whoever, it doesn't even have to be the comedy world, just the world in general. It always-- it's not that sad. I wish sometimes people in those positions, no matter how successful you are and whatever you define success, if someone else because you certain... had Certain people on, and perhaps they were angry because they're still lumped into how they define themselves to certain gangs that their allegiance goes to. Ideologically, 100%. How dare he have... Don't platform that person. Don't platform this one and don't platform that one and don't platform... And in fact, I would even hear chatter like this. I would never, I'd go, Yes, you

would, because-- well, if you wouldn't, then you would never be me in the first place, so what are you worried about? We're different human beings. Correct. The point is, I understand those feelings. I do. I understand those feelings of anger and this feeling of jealousy, of resentment. It is absolutely normal, but it is a bitch-ass way to think. And I've thought those ways. I've had bitch-ass thinking in my life. 100%, so I get it. I understand it. It's normal. But what these people need to hear that I needed to learn myself is that that not only does not help you, it hurts you, but the same exact experience can instead be inspiring to you and that will help you. And you're going to be uncomfortable with comparing yourself to someone who's better than you. But that uncomfortable feeling is what leads to growth. It's really important. It's good. It's good for you, but what's not good for you is to try to dismiss that person and shit on that person. Like even if someone's doing something that I don't like, I don't like their style. So what? I don't care. There's a lot of music.

Look, I have teenage girls. Oh, when they listen to music, they love it. I don't like it, but it doesn't mean it's not good. They fucking love it.

They love it.

There's a lot of guys that are into jazz. I don't like it. But it doesn't mean it's bad.

No.

It's great for some people.

It's their art.

It's like everybody has a thing that you're into and everybody has a different style. So if someone's doing something that you don't enjoy, you don't have to hate them. It doesn't mean that's not beneficial to you. It doesn't help you at all.

Could somewhat what you said, but you can have your bitch ass feelings. Yeah. Just don't have your your bitch ass emotions and act on. Don't act bitch ass. Just don't act bitch ass. That's when you start having issues. When you put it out in the universe because it's still inside you, which we all have it.

Yes.

It's when you put it out there. Now it's out there. Now everyone looks at you a whole different. I've. I've done that multiple times. I'm never proud of it. Always feel horrible.

Exactly.

Never toward always. He's within family or friends or so. Never, I try not to put it

out in the world.

In the world with names of people, 'cause I don't have any qualities. It feels horrible.

You feel proud of yourself?

No, I feel like a little punk bitch. Like, I can't believe I just did that.

I know.

Oh my God, I thought that was mature.

You gave into those bitch-ass feelings. It's normal. It's normal. It's normal. Like, I remember, someone was telling me that Chris Rock was selling out everywhere after the Will Smith thing. And I swear to God, for, like, a couple of seconds, I was like, oh, what the. He's usually. He's selling out instantly. All these Arenas. It takes me a couple of days. We get, like, it's so stupid, so dumb. Like, he was the hot ticket because everybody wanted to see him, but it was only for a few seconds. And then I was like, what the is wrong with you?

Who you.

You fucking silly bitch. Such a dumb way to think. But the problem is, you don't, in the time, and then the other thing is they think that they're gonna diminish that by attacking you. But what they don't understand is when you do that publicly, the heat comes for you. Because now you've set the game in motion. Now you started moving pieces around the board, and then people are starting to move pieces against you. And that's the, I felt that even at a time where I felt it was necessary, the whole Carlos Mencia thing. I said that to my friends afterwards, I said, I don't think I'll ever do anything like that again because just the negative, even if it was only 10% of the people that were negative, 90% were positive, that 10% is just not a good feeling. It's a terrible feeling. It's not good. Even though I thought that was a necessary thing to do, Because not just him, but I wanted to expose the way the business was treating that, where they were profiting off of it and openly covering it, and they knew about it, and they thought it was just business.

That was what my agent said to me, It's just business.

I remember a phone call we had somewhat after that, and I remember you telling me your agency dropped you. They dropped you. That's, that's, I'm not crazy for thinking that, right?

No, they dropped me, but what they said was that I had to apologize to him or they couldn't work with me anymore.

Correct.

And I said, listen, then if just you bringing that up, our relationship is over.

Done.

I said, just because you wanted to do, and they like said, it's just business. I go, you're making a decision that will affect you for the rest of your life. I go, because you're siding with a vampire. You sell art. It's all you sell. All you guys are is a comedy agency, right? You sell art. You've got a guy who's stealing art from other artists. Like this is bad for you. Everyone's gonna know. So Louie left them after that. Louie came up to me at the Improv, asked me if that was true. I said yes. He goes, okay, I'm leaving them. A tell, Nick Swartzon, a bunch of people did. So it wasn't like I was right. But it was also, but the negative feeling of the people angry at me for it was like so gross. It was like you put that out there in the world, it's a giant distraction. It takes away from most of your life. You think about it all the time. It's just not good.

At that time, I understand that, but also, like for instance, that was already out there.

With him? Yeah, and I personally-- With comics it was.

It was out there with comics and it was out there with him. I personally didn't see particular, but like I worked at once a choice and I'm not a LA guy. So everyone and their mother, I mean it was a lot of people that would say that. So when the point of that happening, it was such justice. In the community and beyond that, in the world, like can we stop? Can we stop? If you're taking from others, if you're taking from, which I've already dealt with at that point on some other levels, it happened multiple times. So people take and then they- well,

you dealt with it on SNL.

Yes, SNL and other areas and which whatever, it's all in the past and I'm all good now. So when you deal with that and you're very, I just dealt with it, buying tickets is another whole deal. So with that said, it's very freeing when you finally put it out there and not that you want to see someone's career plummet or take a hit or whatever, but it was very refreshing to see that people or fans went, oh, we didn't know this because a lot of time fans don't care.

How could they know?

They wouldn't know, but they don't, and you go, you,'re still gonna show up, and then all of a sudden it went to a whole different direction. You saw this person struggling here, and then it was, it's that time we're living in. You set an example for, if we're all gonna start moving forward, can we just be blatantly honest whether we're making art or food, whatever you're doing in your lifetime. Stop stealing and if you're going to take, give the credit of where you're getting it from.

Well, but you can't do that in stand up.

No, you can't do it in stand up. You have to ask and you say, can I buy that bit or something like that? But it's just such a-- Nobody wants

to sell their bits. You can't even do that. Well, you could hire people to write for you, which is very respectable. I know like high level comics who hire people to help them punch up jokes. Nothing wrong with that.

No. I never knew that either. I never knew that until I remember being in New York and the guy's like, hey, you know, I write with Chris. Like, Chris, Chris, right? I'm like, oh, wow. Yeah, punch up stuff like that. And then I would see certain guys, which makes sense, because if you're gonna hit a certain level, I mean, you gotta, you gotta stay. Well, I'm not saying they're not.

People would always say that Chris, like, had writers, but that's not totally true. So what Chris would do was he would come up with all the material, would come up all the bits, and then he would have guys watch his set, professional guys, and these professional guys would watch his set, and then they would talk about it. They would have feedback on bits. Like he really, he really worked with Richard Jenny a lot.

He was great.

Oh, my God. He was good.

He taught me the most. I learned so much from Jenny because he would just take a premise, And he'd go in, every time you thought he was done milking this premise, he'd show up again 15 minutes later like, oh my God, we're going another direction with this premise! you! gotta be kidding me!

He was so thorough. He would take all, I mean, it was so impressive.

Wow, so Jenny's helping- Yes, Jenny helped

Rock with Bigger and Blacker. He helped him with, what was the other one that was really Bring the Pain?

Yes, the two big monsters.

The two classic. Two of, like, if you have a top 20 all-time comedy specials, they're both in there.

Monsters.

Monster sets.

He's the first guy I saw. Chris was the very first person I saw. I won a lottery to do Open Mic at the Comic Strip. And I'm gonna say I was 19, maybe 1920. I didn't know what that was. And I show up the Comic Strip and I see Eddie Murphy on the wall. I'm like, oh, this is where-- 'Cause I had that Eddie Murphy album. He had like little flowers from the comic strip. And he had a little-- He did

that at the comic strip?

Yeah, he did.

Really?

Yes, he was at the comic strip. And yeah, he did life in the comic strip.

He's like, It was a great special.

Great special. Great album.

I bought it on cassette. That's how old it is.

I bought it in an album.

Bro, how did he stop doing stand-up? There it is.

Oh my God.

How did he stop doing stand-up? He was 1982. He was so good.

Yeah, so I was a sophomore in

high school back then.

Me too.

Ooh.

Were you 58?

Yeah.

Yeah, we graduated at the same time. Look at the comic strip.

He was so good. When you see him, did you see him do that? He got one of those Mark Twain Awards, I believe it was.

Yes.

And he went and did a set.

Yes.

Did an impression of Bill Cosby getting his awards taken away from him.

No. Yes, it's great. I gotta watch it. I gotta watch that.

It's really, Jamie will pull it up. You go, oh my God, please do stand up again. Please do stand up again.

Do you remember the bit he did? He goes, He goes, I guess it was in, what was it, what was the one with the red leather pants?

Raw. Raw.

No, no, no, that was delirious. Delirious. Delirious. And he goes, you're right, you're right. He goes, man, he goes, man, he goes, Bill Cosby called me and he said, you know, in filth the foul and the foul in the filth and the fit, and he goes, I called Richard Pryor and Richard Pryor said, next time that motherfucker call you and tell him to suck my dick and have a nice pudding on me.

Well, he said, did the people laugh?

Did you get paid? Yes.

Tell Bill to have a Coke and a smile and shut the fuck up.

That's what he said. Thank you so much. This is a tremendous honor. Wonderful evening. I'd like to thank the Kennedy Center,

first of all, for celebrating me and

honoring me in such a wonderful way and bringing my loved ones and my family here. This is a super special, memorable night.

And thank you to all the comedians

and came out and sang and I mean Sam Moore came out and sang and Alabama Shakes was here. I had a really, really, really special, special night.

It

hasn't been lost on me that, you know, usually when people have evenings like this, a person's really, really old

when they get these awards.

They'll let you wait, really, like one of the greatest funniest people of all time was George Carlin. And he received this award posthumously. And he's funnier than all of us. So to be standing here alive and looking like myself still is a little nice. They'll let you get really old and

get a little gray if you want.

And there was also some confusion about whether or not it was an award or a prize. And I, you know, and actually it's an award. Even though they call it a prize, it's an award. Because usually when there's a prize, there's money involved. Because I thought I was going to get some paper. I was like, yo, Mark Twain Award, Kennedy Center, that sounds like paper. Then they told me yesterday that they raised 2.3 million. I was like, yeah, I'm in there. Then I came down and they told me that, oh, there is no, it's a, it's a, it's a prize, but it's, there is no money. And I was like, oh, so I think to clear up the confusion for future recipients, maybe, maybe, maybe you don't want to call it a prize. You can call it the Mark Twain Prize. Maybe you might want, if you don't want to call it the award, maybe you could call it the Mark Twain Surprize. Surprize. And the surprise, of course, being you ain't getting no money. But that still doesn't diminish how wonderful. This is a wonderful, wonderful thing to be included with some of my, my Heroes, Richard Pryor and George Carlin and Carl Reiner and

Lily Tomlin.

Bill has one of these. Did y'all make Bill give his back? No, because I know it was a That was a big outcry from people. They was trying to get Bill to give his trophies back. You know you up when they want you to give your trophies back.

I said, I'm not giving my trophies back.

You know we're getting his trophy back too? He should do one show where he just come out and just talk crazy now. I would like to talk to

some of the people.

People who feel that I should give back my toys.

Obviously they'd bleep that out.

Wow.

Just because you may have heard recently

that I allegedly put the building

I

wish somebody would come up to my

house talking about give up the trophy

because you put the period in the people chocolate. You get, no. I'm not giving back.

And who is Hannibal Barca? Hand the book. But this is 11 years ago.

Yeah, I was gonna say, was that Dick Gregory?

Yeah, that's Dick Gregory.

It was, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we're good. You know, I.

But it's. He's like a stand-up like he's doing stand-up he is accepting the war. He's killing, and he hasn't done stand-up in decades, I think it's the.

The Billy Joel thing, where he was such a hit, and so, I mean, his stand-up specials were monsters. It's to be, wanna be compared to that is such a, like you and I, Archie, he's like, my kids have no clue Eddie Murphy was stand-up. That's crazy. They have no clue. They just know him as Donkey.

That's crazy.

He's Donkey and Shrek.

Right.

Hey, Shrek!

He's Big Mama.

Yes. They don't even know that.

They just know him.

They just know Donkey.

No, he was the other one. When he got fat. The Clumps, the Clumps. The Clumps. Nutty Professor. Yeah, Nutty Professor. And then there was other one where he played a bunch of different people. That's the Clumps. Yeah, I think so. Yeah.

He's the one where I committed to doing stand-up. I was taking-- My parents moved to Florida. This is like '87, something like that. So I'm taking theater, I'm doing stand-up in Long Island, playing Levittown, the governors. And I was shocked no one discovered me. I was so cocky.

So cocky.

How do you not know I've arrived to New York? Soon I will be discovered. And then my parents moved to Florida. And while I'm down there, I'm really struggling. I think I was almost 21 years old. I said, I'll just go into restaurant management and hotel. And I took that nonsense class. And then Eddie Murphy, and the only reason I was doing it was for my mother. Because my mom's like, you gotta fall back on something and you need a pension. And, you know, they're where you gotta have a pension and make money. And, oh, God forbid something happens, Jimmy, you gotta do something. And so while I'll never forget this, this is like 9, I want to say it's late 88, maybe early 89. And Arsenio Hall was like the biggest talk show thing. Ever. Yeah. Where's my dog? Where my dogs? It was huge.

Things that make you go, yeah, things make him. Yeah. Remember that? Yeah. Things that make you go. Yes.

Things that make you. And so he had Eddie Murphy on. And, of course, I saw Eddie Murphy live at Westbury Music Fair when he was, like, 18 years old. I'm like, so I. This is my life right here. And. So I'm watching Eddie Murphy. I wish I can find this interview one day. And Arsenio's like, you got anything to say for any young comics out there? And this is not exactly what he said, but I remember he turned to the camera and he went, Don't listen to your mother. Your mother wants you to do that, and do that, you're going to 100%. Why are you going to fall back on something you already failed? If you want to make a pizza, you're going to make a pizza 100%. You're going to put the pepperoni in. But the point of him was like, don't listen to your mother. You're going to go for it. You know what you want inside. You go for it. Stop listening to these outside sources that really, they don't, they're not in your brain. They're not in your journey. They're not in your vision. I've told, I've told a couple nephews and a good friend about this.

It's a gym. I really want to go in there. I said, do it. Your mom's going to get pissed, but she's not, this is your journey, kid. Go for it. But that moment, Eddie Murphy, B is the reason why I just. I went home that day and I went, I gotta tell you guys something. And, you know, my dad's World War II vet. Everyone's a cop in the family. My dad is still like, and I can still sign up for the police department. And you want that? And I got a good pension.

Officer Jim.

Yeah, dude, I was there, like, dad,

the windows rolled down, smoke comes out.

Give me that joint.

Get the fuck out of here.

You know why it pulls you over? No, okay, I don't need that. Get out of here, don't be an asshole, just get home safe and follow me. And not only that, I told my dad, if I ever had to chase someone, I'm not giving you a ticket. I am going to beat the shit out of you. If I'm running, my cabs are killing me and I'm going through red lights when I get you, I'm taking you behind a dumpster. It's not going to end well for you. I'm not made for that. And so I said, Hey, I want to let you know right now, I am going to be a stand-up comedian. I am going to go into TV. I'm going to pursue film. And this is what I'm doing. And I'll forget it was my dad. It was my dad who turned to me, never shook my hand in my life. And he went, you,'re a man now. And he goes, you, go do that because I never had that opportunity. And I want you to have more than me. And my mom was like, Jesus Christ, oh my, be careful, be careful. Be careful, Jesus Christ, Joe.

Later that night, she's having martinis. You know, I was in a circle. And I was like, I've been, I've

been, I've been, my man, right?

But that was it. That was the, it was Eddie Murphy and then my dad's official boom. And I was off to the races.

By the time I started doing stand-up, my parents, parents had long given up on trying to control me. They're like, okay.

Yeah.

Good luck.

Well, yeah. You're in your young 20s now.

Yeah. Yeah. And it was also like, they were uncomfortable about me fighting. And I was like, I don't. I'm. I'm gonna go do this. I'm doing this.

Yeah. You know what you're doing?

Well, it's like, even when I didn't know what I was doing, I was gonna do it.

Yeah, you were doing it.

But it's like, that leap is very hard when your parents are telling you, no, it's very hard when they're. They're. They're giving you a hard time and they're putting pressure on you to have a legitimate career. They just don't get it. They just don't get it that it's like, But that's someone can do it. It is a job. So this thing is like, oh, what if you never make it? I remember I was dating this girl when I was 21 and her dad said that to her. Her dad was very concerned about me. He said, what if he doesn't make it? And she said it to me. My dad said, he said, what if you don't make it? I go, okay. I don't know what to say. Maybe I won't, but I'm gonna try. I'm not gonna stop doing it because I might not make it. That's retarded. I go, someone can do it. I work with professional comedians all the time. They make a living doing stand-up comedy. I know it exists. It's not like I'm inventing a new profession that didn't exist before. This is a profession. It's not easy to do, but I think I can do it.

Do it. And I think I want to try because I can't, I can't have a regular job. I'm, I'm too add. I can't sit in a, me either. And when I say regular job, people

think, I know what you mean.

Oh, you're demeaning our jobs. No, you know, that's not what I mean. I mean a job you don't want to do. Like, if you, if you have an office job, but that's what you love doing, if you're doing something that you enjoy doing, there's nothing wrong with that. But a lot of people, that's not what they're doing. A lot of people are just doing a job. And that beats you down. It beats you down and it dulls you. It dulls the conversations that you have. It dulls the conversations you have off work. You don't get stimulated. You're at a drone frequency, unfortunately. And I didn't want to do that, man. I had a bunch of jobs, like job jobs, just for money, and they don't feel good. I didn't enjoy it. And I didn't have a thing. Like, if there was a thing, like, I want to be a carpenter, I want to build houses. I didn't have that thing. I didn't have that either. But I know people who do, and they're very happy. They love it. They'll be architects, engineers. There's a lot of people who love what they do. Those were not interesting to me.

And so I was trying, and then stand up was the only thing. I'm like, oh my God, these people are outcasts just like me. They're weirdos just like me. They're the people that just don't fit in. They're the people that say the things you're not supposed to say. That was me. I was like, I got to figure out how to do this. I knew it was a, I might, I mean, I never thought, my old FitzSimmons and I talk about this all the time because we started out literally within a week of each other.

Wow.

We traveled together, we would drive to Rhode Island to do open mics together. We hung out, we did a ton of road gigs in the early days. All our goal was to be able to pay our bills with comedy. That was the goal. Right. The only goal.

And it felt great.

That was because we knew guys. There was this guy, DJ Hazard, who was a really funny Boston standup. And I went to look at these apartments once. And these loft apartments, they had turned this, like an elementary school, this old brick elementary school, into these loft condos. Yeah. And DJ had a place there. And I knew, like, I went to look at this, like, little studio apartment that they had there, and he had this big loft there. I was like, oh, my God, you imagine this guy's doing this just with comedy. This is crazy.

Right.

Look at this fucking killer apartment this guy has, and he just tells jokes.

Right.

That was the dream. That was the dream.

Yes.

And that was the dream.

I tell my kids, too. I tell everyone, just go for your passion.

Whatever it is.

Go for the passion. You know, I might do it while

you're young, while you don't have a family, you don't have a mortgage.

Is this the moment?

I think so. He's talking about starting comedy and look at his hair.

By the way, Ed, here's your report card. I'll be blown away if this is it.

But you always knew that this is where you wanted to be.

knew I I wanted to be in show business. And I just happened to luck out and things happened. I think, you know, you know, you,

if you, you know what you're supposed to do deep down inside. I think everybody does.

A lot of people just don't go after it, you know, like most people start out to say, I want to be a this, but. I'm going to get that to make sure I have something to fall back on.

And what you're doing is you setting

yourself up for failure because you're going, there's a possibility that I'm going to fall back. And when you put that out there, then you fall back. But if you just say, hey, this

is what I want to do, and you go do it, you usually get

your stuff the way you want it, man. That's what, yeah.

I don't even know if this is true because you know how Uncle Ray lies, okay? Uncle Ray's lying, man.

I loved Uncle Ray. You know how Uncle Ray I don't know, Uncle Ray shaved off his beard, you see him?

No, I didn't see him.

Uncle Ray told me that of course he did. He still went down my back. He came out with his beard off, I said, oh, see, they don't know Uncle Ray, so they're like, picture me, but a lot older.

That's Uncle Ray.

He said that, How much time do we have left? Plenty. Do you have any other guests tonight? Is it me and you and Uncle Ray? He's like, this is, I already did my favor. Uncle Ray! Hey, Uncle Ray! Not Uncle Ray! Please don't invite Uncle Ray out here.

Uncle Ray! It's not video, it's not video, it's not video.

Uncle Ray!

That's hilarious. He brought his uncle out.

Dude, he would bring his uncle. His uncle would murder. That's what I would look like in 40 years. His uncle would murder, I think, on on Letterman. His uncle would murder. Now, now he got me wondering.

Maybe it is another interview.

No, I'm. I could stop, like, did I go from that or my head? It was.

Did you add to it in your head?

Did I add to it in my head?

That does happen.

It does happen. I don't like that.

Oh, it's so weird.

I don't like that. 'Cause I'm like, I absolutely said, it's

so weird when you're, you have a memory that you're sure of, and other people are like, no, this happened, that happened, the other thing. And then you're like, wait, shit. But I-- you-'re right.

And I do remember saying the fall back stuff, 'cause I used that going into talking to my mom, like, Mom, can't fall back. Am I gonna do 100%? That is.

Is a fact that you can't fall back. You can't have a net. You're not going to make it if you have a net.

No, you're spreading yourself thin all over the place.

Too hard. Well, also, the amount of focus that it takes, whatever you're trying to do in life, the amount of focus that it takes to do it, this is what I always say to Fighters when they have, like, one foot in and one foot out, I'm like, quit. Quit. Because the consequences of you facing a guy that's all in are devastating. That guy wants the best ever. And you're not sure if you want to fight anymore, but you're going to get hurt.

Right.

That happens a lot. You see that a lot.

Yeah, because sometimes it's just for the cash.

Well, it's also their identity. They're not sure if this is the right career for them. Maybe they have a couple of losses and they don't feel confident anymore. Get out. But with comedy, at least you don't have to worry about getting hurt. Really, what it's just about is like, okay, you're presented with more challenges. Is figure it out. Yeah. Figure it out and push through. Somebody's done it. Okay. There's people out there that are doing it, which is one of the things that we really, when we started the club, one of the things that we implemented the club that we thought was really important is a legitimate development program. So Adam Eget, who is the talent coordinator for the Comedy Store, is now the talent coordinator for the mothership. But he takes it very seriously. There's a program, right? There's two days of open mic nights. He watches everybody set.

Right.

He sits down, he takes notes, he gives them feedback, and then when they start progressing, he gives them a little bit more time, and then maybe he'll give them a spot on one of the showcase shows.

Right.

And doing that and allowing people to have a pathway, where then they go on the road with some of the other headliners.

Right.

We have a lot of guys that are headlining on the road that are taking a lot of the people that work at the club, door people, people that work on the staff, take them on the road with them. Right. And now, so there's a pathway. So not only do you see that others have done it, so you know, but there's a way that it's like we're helping them. And there's a lot of talented people that they get frustrated and we all knew guys that were really fucking talented when we were in New York. Remember that kid from Jimmy's Comedy Alley? I brought him up before. Dark hair, he was really funny, really funny. Remember Jimmy's Comedy Alley in Queens?

I know I brought him up on the podcast before.

This kid was funny, man, but funny, but like, where's he from? Socially unconscious. He was a New York guy. He was a New York guy.

Was he kind of sporadic and off the wall a little bit?

Yeah, he was a little weird.

I know who you're talking to.

You know who I'm talking to.

Oh, my God.

But he was funny.

George? Is it George Gallo?

No, no, that's another guy who was very funny, too.

Okay.

There was another guy, but this guy was different. He was almost like-- Kind of like, clearly he was a fan of Bill Hicks. He wasn't stealing from Bill Hicks, but he was clearly inspired by Bill Hicks. I mean, not Bill Hicks style at all, but socially conscious stand-up that was really funny and good. And I was like, this guy's gonna make it. And no.

Almost Stan Hopy.

Doug-- Not as good as Stan Hopy. Not as good as Stan Hopy, but have-- didn't By the time I met stand-up, Stan Hope, rather. Stan Hope had been doing stand up for probably 12 years. So he was, he was like super legit back then.

I think that's when I remember we were at some Florida event and I went down there totally fluffing my feathers. I think I was, I think I might have had a season of SNL. I'm like, you know, I'm wearing my pad, like, my peak cut. Duck feathers out. And Stanhope was the winner of this festival and they got to play the last night. I think it was like Todd Barry. All I remember is Todd Barry, Doug Stanhope, and me. Now, I was supposed to follow Todd Barry. No offense to Todd. Todd, I'll take that any day of the week, 'cause Todd's energy is lower.

Right, he's like a deadpan guy.

Right, and deadpan, no matter murder, I feel clumped to him like, okay, I usually do okay after deadpan, no matter what. I'm ready to go, I'm seasoned, I can do this. They go, we're switching the order, I'm switching the order, 'cause at that time too, I think the manager, maybe it was whoever it was, he knew, he's like, there's no way he's gonna be able to go up after Stanhope. So they switched Barry and Stanhope. So now I don't know who Doug Stanhope is. And Doug Stanhope goes out. I'm gonna say for like the first couple minutes he's eating it a little bit. And I'm like, why would you do this to this kid? And all of a sudden he snapped. And all I remember is from that moment on, I went, oh, shit. This is gonna be an issue going up after this. And he was murdering, like, slaying, like, just. And. And the things he was saying, because at that time, too, I'm not. I'm not a dirty guy. I'm not. I'm not. I just choose sometimes. I love filthy material, but I. I just don't always go in that. And he's hitting subjects like dark subjects and then sex, and he's beating a out of the room, and I just.

Yeah, this is not going to go well. And I remember going up and I held my own, but I don't know if I pulled off going off or going up after a very young, unproven stand-up. Even back then, I was like, I gotta keep my eye on this guy because he's a monster. And he was, he was a monster. This is He's like 90, maybe mid-90s?

Yeah, I think I met Stan Hope in '98, somewhere around then. What is, what is, oh no, no. Well, maybe. That is him, he just looks different there.

Whoa, wait a minute, he's older.

Yep, that's him, that's him.

No, it's just Keith Anthony.

Is he still working?

Who's Keith Anthony?

Keith Anthony is the guy that I was telling you about Jimmy's Comedy Club. Oh, he was very funny. He came to, he came to the comedy store. He drove across the country in a Cadillac that had the roof sawed off of it. And it like, it was a convertible, but not really. So it didn't have a top. And so his, he got rained on while he was driving across the country. So his entire Cadillac is filled with water while he's driving. I don't know if he drove with a raincoat or if he just ate it, just ate the water. But, yeah, that's, that's Keith Anthony. Yeah, that's him. Thank you, James.

Is he still around?

How did you pull that off?

Is he still around or?

I don't know. I haven't seen him in forever. I remember we brought him up on the podcast a few years ago. I found a transcript where we brought him up. Yeah.

And who is the guy from the radio? I hope I'm not going to get it wrong. Rogers. The radio. There's a radio guy. He was taller. He was married to like an Israeli chick.

John Tobin.

Yes. Yeah. I still, that was one of the greatest. Most hilarious adventures of my lifetime was Tobin and I, we had a gig and it was horrifying. It was like coconuts. We're gonna send you down to, we're gonna send you down to Cancun Spring Break, right? Oh, God. Oh, yeah. And now I'm young. I'm like, oh my, I'm not even married yet.

You were in Cancun?

Yes. And it's spring break. I'm like, oh my God.

What year was this?

Okay, so I got married in '93. I'm gonna say 1992. 1992. And I think I'm making 500 bucks for two weeks. You have to work every single night, right? So, wait a minute. So, I'm with you. So, I don't know who the other comedian is, right?

Right.

And so, as we, I land in Cancun and ride away, the bells and a whistle and have a tequila shot. I'm like, I'm young, this is great. Rubin is probably 10-15 years older.

Yeah.

Yeah. I wanted to say he was in his young 40s. I could be wrong. So as we're driving down the Cane, we're getting wasted on the bus. Who wants another shot? I want another shot. Greatest gig ever. So we pass all the spring break hotels, and there's no one left on the bus. There's nobody left out of us except for some guy who's like in his 40s, right? And I got walking up the bus drive like, hey, where's, where's, you know, La TravaS, and he's going, what? I don't understand what he's saying. And this guy goes, He said it's downtown. I went, oh, I go, what is your name? He goes, John. I go, I'm a comedian. He's like, yeah, I'm the other fucking comedian. And they have us fucking downtown. They don't have some fucking thing. I said, it's okay. Are you sure?

That doesn't sound like a joke.

No, no, no, no, dude. It was John. This is really funny. So they put us downtown, right? Me and Tobin. And me and John have talked to us multiple times. Said, one day we got to write this as the funniest adventure ever. We had to take, first of all, we check in the hotel and the guy's like, yeah, I don't know if the other guy's still in there. What other guy? They're like, the three of you in one room. Well, three of us in a room. What are you talking about? John's losing his shit. He's arguing with his, he's like, I'm married to a rally check. I hate fuckin' and all they do is yell at each other. He goes, pay phone, if I can yell at each other. So now we go to our room and there's a There's someone in our room. And he goes, yeah, I haven't been paid yet. Been stuck here for like a month. Oh, oh yeah, so I slept on the floor.

No.

All my life, all my lap, as Tobin this, right? So I'm on the floor. The first night I wake up and Tobin's like yelling over the other, he's like, if you keep snoring, I'm gonna lose my job.

My. Right.

So by the end of the week, we're not getting paid. All the gigs are getting canceled. All I remember is it ended like 6 days later. I had to go get what? Money transfer. Cuz now we're partying. We're just like, screw it. Let's go find weed tequila. We went on an adventure with this poor bastard. Got thrown out of a car. We were going to buy tequila. Right outside and the guy got thrown out of the car and we're like, what's going on now? We're all wasted and we go up and the guy's going in his pockets and taking his money and we go, hey, what's going on there? And he's like, you know, hey man, they're talking in Spanish again. John knew Spanish a little bit and so he takes off and we're like, we're taking care of this guy. Like, what's your name? He's like, Juan. And to this day, this is why I know in Spanish my name is Jaime. Because we lifted him up and he's like, oh, amigo, amigo, what your name? I said, James. Jaime. Yeah, yeah, amigo, John, Juan. This night lasted to 6 a.m. in the morning, and it was one of the greatest ventures in our entire lifetime.

To this day, I have to get Tobin because he's got even greater details as the night goes on. It was probably the greatest, it ended that night or that morning about 7:00 a.m. to John with a golf club smashing the drapes because he's like, I said I'm gonna lose it if you don't stop snoring. He's smashing the thing and some other thing. The University of Wisconsin was staying there. It was some other mess going on. All I remember is I woke up, I went right to the airport, I booked a hotel, and I went home and I haven't seen John since. But I remember you knew him.

Yeah.

You were his buddy.

Well, John and I have stood up to each other. You gotta get out of Connecticut. Joker's Wild in New Haven, Connecticut. That's where I work with him. He was the opening act. I was the headliner, or he was the middle act, one or the other. Then we became friends and we started playing pool together and then he got a job at Executive Billiards in White Plains. He was one of the counter guys at Executive Billiards.

Oh.

So the pool hall where I became obsessed with playing pool, John and I would hang out in that pool hall all the time because John worked there.

Ah, yes, because he would bring you up, Eliza, like, you know, Joe Rogan. Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm friends with him. But this is way, way, way, way, way, way.

Now think about. John did have a little bit of an anger issue.

It was the funniest. And he would be on his wife. He's yelling at his wife, don't talk to me. I'm stuck in Cancun.

Oh, no.

I gotta get all the. The vet.

The details of the adventure. I lost touch with that dude. I ran into him a long time ago. I want to say close to 20 years ago. I was doing a gig in Miami, After the show, we were leaving the back of the theater and I went to get in the car and I saw this guy that was standing out in the lobby. He knew that this was the back of the theater. I was gonna come out and it was John. And I didn't recognize him for like a half a second because it was like a spotlight behind him. Yeah, you know, he was a little silhouette, the streetlight behind him. And then I was like, oh shit, what are you doing? And I know we exchanged numbers, but you know me, I change my fucking number every two years at least. I lost touch with him a long time ago and I lost phones and I don't know. But John and I were always in that pool hall together.

Wow.

Yeah, for a couple of years he worked there at least. He was like the counter guy. He would give you the balls and take the money. And our good friend, Guy, Guy Azzarelli, rest in peace, he was the owner of the place.

I'm gonna hunt him down.

Because this-- well, he'll probably reach out after-- yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

There was a black guy with us, the other guy was a black guy. And every day we'd leave, and this little hooker would follow me, and she had to be, like, in her 50s. And she just-- she was chubby and a mess. And she'd go, you know, I'm telling you, little boy, little boy. And I'm like, no, no, no, no. But the black dude would always go, Yo, I'll take you. And you go, no, no, too big, too big, too big. I swear to God.

That's a lie.

And what's crazy is that adventure we went on, We end up going to this guy's house and he made like his wife and stuff cooked for us and three in the morning and his whole family is staring at us, you know, I'm a jackass, I'm all juiced up and like, we're gonna get you out of Mexico and we're gonna get you to America and we're gonna help you out right now. Let me get you to America. Yeah, we're gonna help you out. We're gonna save you. Go, you don't worry about. And I remember the neighborhood, too. Like, they, they're, they're as you what? There were dogs just running wild. Wasn't in the nice part. It was just a part of town. Like, are we safe? And who lives on his street? As we're showing up, like, 3: in the morning, it was the hooker that, that stays outside our hotel room. Like, you can't even write this. She's like, oh, you know, go, you know, go.

No, no, no.

And I'm like, oh, trust me. No, I don't want any of that, but she tries to get me every day. Every day she tries to get me. She tries to get me. She dies.

She used to be able to go to Mexico and it was no problem. Like Mexico was a fun place to visit. Did you see what's going on right now in Puerto Vallarta?

No, I don't know. I heard no, I checked, dude. I'm talking to you.

You don't know.

Yeah, I don't know everything.

Oh, listen, it's just started yesterday. There's a gang war or with the cartel war that's going on in Puerto Vallarta because they killed the head of one of the cartels. So they arrested the military, arrested and killed one of the heads of one of the cartels and Puerto Vallarta right now is a war zone.

Really?

They lit a Costco on fire, there's gunfights in the streets, cars and trucks on fire, roads are shut down, you can't fly out of there anymore, all the airlines won't fly out, Air Canada pulled their flights, all these places pulled their flights. So there's tourists that went to Puerto Vallarta on vacation that are Americans that are stuck there. Is this- US citizens urged to shelter in place after Mexico drug lords killing sparks wave of violence. Yeah, this is going on right now, like right now. So is that- see if you can find some video of it.

That's south, right?

Puerto Vallarta? Yes.

South of Cancun and all that?

No, it's on the other side of the country.

Oh, it's the West Coast?

Yes.

Okay.

I think, right? Isn't Puerto Vallarta to the West Coast?

Like Cabo?

Yes.

On that side?

I think.

I don't know.

I know it's near Punta Mita that has that, there's a beautiful Four Seasons resort there. Yeah, it's on the West side. But there's a gang war, like a literal gang war. Oh, dude, watch the video. Get put the videos, cartel, just put for, just write cartel violence after that. Cartel, it's fucking crazy. Just write cartel.

Fucking help me out, Henry.

Yeah, this, the footage is fucking banana. Look at this. There's, well, there's real shit. This ain't real. That's, that's AI. Right, me and the boy, this is real. This I've seen. Go full screen. This is the Costco on fire. Bro, they're blowing up buildings. There's gunfights in the streets. They've got armored vehicles. They're shootouts. I was watching this video where these people are like hiding in a building here. Just fucking gunfights in the middle of the street.

It's crazy.

Look how much is on fire. Look at these people on the beach. Like nothing's going on.

And what are they targeting?

I'm jogging. I know it's a joke, but I gotta get my 10,000 steps in.

I've got my earbuds on. And I'm listening to native flute music.

Look at all these fucking people just chilling while there's buildings on fire in the background. That's hilarious. They're surrounded by cartel warfare and Air Canada has canceled flights out of Puerto Vallarta. Yeah, look at that, bro. This is so bad for tourism. This is gonna cost Mexico billions of dollars.

You know what kind of shit?

Look at the fixture, man. Look at half the city's on fire, that's crazy.

Interesting.

What does that tweet say? Just a joke. Go back to it. It's 10% off at Vrbo.

And now you too can go, you ever see those, what was that? No, I'll tell you. That one right there.

Chaotic scenes in Puerto Vallarta after CJNG, Jalisco New Generation Cartel, sicarios started to block main roads and set civilian vehicles on fire. In multiple regions of Mexico, including Guadalajara, how do you say that? Mahakán? Mahakán. And Jalisco? In retaliation to the show more? The alleged... killing of their leader, El Mencho. Meanwhile, reports are emerging saying that the cartel mechanized units with improvised monster armored vehicles are amassing in Jalisco and other parts of the country. So there's some, like, some serious that's going down.

Interesting.

Scary.

Yeah.

Scary. Get stuck in the middle of that. This is the.

Well, getting stuck there would be a little bit of a bummer.

Well, no, but stuck in the middle of it because that's where a lot of people die in the crossfire because you get hit with Strays because they're just, they're not like Precision shooting. They're gunning people down and they're, they're shooting at cars and. That's Mexico now. The point is when you went there in '92, you used to be able to go there. It was easy. Nobody worried at all about going to Mexico. Going to Mexico was fun. You didn't even have to have a passport back in the day. You used to be able to go over there with your driver's license.

That is true. They've always scared you with the cartel thing. Not saying it doesn't exist. Once in a while, up until like five years ago, seven years, put it this way, my wife and I went to a place called Maroma, but on the East Coast. And even before we went, friends were like, oh yeah, you know, you know what that is?

That's near Cancun, right? That's Chichen Itza.

Yes, yes. It was beautiful, little tiny resort.

I went to that place. I went to that place.

It was like a 20-something anniversary. And it was, and even then I would see people walking down the street with machine guns. Was it, there were the cops, they were cops. The cops or the army or whatever. And I was like, whoa. And they would tell you, And they're like, Listen, if you see something wash up on short, don't touch it. Don't touch it. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't let the government come and get it.

Don't steal the coke.

Okay, all right. Well, I have another margarita. That's cool. When's dinner again? But I've always kind of heard-- well,

it was nothing scary though.

Not like this.

It used to be like a normal place to go to. I like that place I told you about, Puntamita. I've been there. I went once with my family when my kids were really young, and they have golf courses. Golf carts rather on the resort. And you can drive around your golf course, you stay in like this little villa and you get a little golf cart that you can borrow. And then we asked the people, can we take the golf cart into the town? And they said sure. So we leave and you leave the resort and then you go into the town and it's just like immediate abject poverty and this militarized police station where these guys were on an armored car with this, like, big armored plate and a fucking machine gun, and the guy's sitting there, just like he's ready to go. And then I had to put it together, oh, they're there to protect the resort.

Correct.

I was like, Whoa.

Correct.

So then it starts to put, like, the illusion of the Four Seasons dissolves, 'cause the illusion is this immaculately manicured lawns, beautiful landscape, gorgeous buildings. Everyone's well-attired and so polite and serving you. And this is surrounded by real Mexico.

That was like the first time I went to Turks and Caicos. The kids were young and I went to whatever resort, it's all included. Maybe it was the beaches, I don't remember. And we had to, but the minute you went right outside of beaches, you're like, whoa, they're barely getting there. They don't have nothing going on here, and it's all you can eat. Right there. And I remember being younger in my head, I don't know if it was the weed or whatever, but I'd sit there, I go, oh, so basically, whatever, like corporations will show up like, how much for the, how much for these beaches? They're like, oh, it's not for sale. How much? Because we, we want this. No, we've been living here forever. We live off the, yeah, yeah, yeah, well, drugs and, you know, gangs Crazy don't show up, then you need us to protect you. And then, you know, if then you let us know and maybe we can make a deal. Me, me, me, or they make the deal with one of the leaders.

Dude, I- People have always been vacationing in Mexico.

Yes, but it always blows me away, like people will get mad, whether it's Hawaii or whatever, all the nicest beaches in the world are basically, even in bad areas, they're surrounded by like, billionaire, like, gorgeous resort. It's just like, it's just like coming off a cruise boat. You, you're treated like a king and a queen, and then you show up at certain ports and they're, like, all begging. He's beggar. But if, I mean, if you think about it, it's like someone coming here and they're coming into a bad section and they're worth billions of dollars and they're coming off and they're kind of looking at you funny. It's just, it's that. It always fascinated me, how do they get into these areas and they make sure you stay there?

Well, usually those areas are fucked for a reason, right? And Mexico is fucked for a reason because of the drugs. That's a big part of it. And the other thing is what happened in the 19, I guess, the 80s with that movie Roger and Me, whatever year that was, that detailed that, where they just shipped all the factories over to Mexico. That that became like it killed Detroit. And a lot of things started getting manufactured and built in, in Mexico. And, you know, they took advantage of the fact that they can get cheaper wages over there. And they didn't have to insure anybody. They didn't have to give no benefits. No, that's right. You get, it's, you spend way less money and you can make people work way longer. There's no rules.

That's beginning of all of it.

A lot of dirty corporations did that just to make a Yeah, and continue.

Yeah, and continue to do that.

Yeah, when you find out that the rest of the world, like the whole world, when you look at, you know, people love to use that term, the one percenters, you know what the one percent for the whole world is? Top one percent, $34,000. $34,000 a year puts you in the one percent of the world.

Why?

Yes, that's how distorted our version of of like wealth and middle class and prosperity. Like this is the beauty of like a functioning capitalism United States is that you do so well that you start talking about inequality. You don't realize that even the inequality that you have in America is the dream of someone who lives in a third world country.

I go, I love I love going to... I go to Tanzania, Kenya, last year I did six weeks in Africa. I love going in the middle of nowhere and just seeing literally people with nothing and they're still...

Happy.

Not only are they still happy, they just, they have the whole life system down. They understand everything operates for a reason. Everything operates for a reason. I remember this one guy who was telling me, like the giraffes were walking along, right? And he's like, oh, that tree is going to communicate with that tree and the roots by talking to the roots and then the roots are going to send up a system. And you're going to notice the giraffe is going to walk to it and immediately walk to the next one because they already put out the, I'm like,

What?

Like, how do you even know? Because this is what they live in. And then even I would talk with the locals and I'd be like, how? Like in a village?

Yeah.

There's no paved roads. And they'd go, how does if something goes down here? Like, let's say this guy's a jerk and he gets way to something nasty. There's no courts. There's no laws. There's no police. They do everything themselves. They go, well, then the wisest of the elders get together and they go, Let's confront so and so. And we go to the house and we go, Hey, man, what's going on here? You need to come out. Everyone said they stole. They watched you steal, and there it is. And then they'll bring them out into the entire village and we're like, Well, everyone, everyone knows. Little Johnny here, kind of, I don't know what's going on. Is it your family? You lose some kind of thing going on at home? Whatever we could do, we want to help you and make sure this never helps again. But everyone needs to know, you know, you got to be careful. And so we all got our eye on you. And it's just, it, it blows my mind, the simplicity of that. And I feel like we had that as little children hanging out in the street and everyone kind of looking at each other.

And I always wondered if we ever were going to go back to that somehow. Where?

Well, you really can if you have a job and you commute.

It's gotten so complicated.

You can't send social media on it and you have to answer email. You're not going back to that.

No, it's so complicated. And once in a while, you want to go like, I would like a latte and three slices of pizza.

Have you ever seen the Werner Herzog documentary, Happy People: Life in the Taiga?

No. Didn't he also do the Bear Guy?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Grizzly Man.

That was one of the greats. It's the greatest movies I've ever seen. It's the greatest movie ever. Belly laughed watching that day.

He made that a comedy. He did it on purpose. But this Happy People: Life in the Taiga is all about these trappers that live in the Taiga forest in Siberia and how happy they are. These people have nothing. I mean, they have nothing. They have to catch fish, they have to catch animals for fur and shoot animals for meat, and they drive around in snowmobiles everywhere. And then they go together at night and they all drink. They all have dogs. They're all so happy. There's like very low instances of mental illness. So you can find some clips from it. It's a really good documentary because it makes you think, what do you need out of life?

What do you need? We have everything.

What do you actually need out of life?

These people are-- We have everything.

These people are really well balanced, man. They're fucking very genuinely happy people. And the way Werner Herzog documents it and does the narration, part of you just goes, wow, this is like, is this how you're supposed to live? Are you supposed to subsistence Lifestyles? Like the people that live subsistence Lifestyles, they're the really happy ones.

I believe so. I remember just going, happy people.

I think that's how you're supposed to live. I think that's how 100. Maybe not. I shouldn't say supposed to. But that is how we evolved. And so that is a natural way that your body slips into this. This world we're living in now with commuting and stress and the whole world and what's going on in Iran and like that's not normal.

It's not normal at all. It's not, I remember even just, oh my God, I have a friend lives in Belize, but he lives really south where it's still kind of, it's not really developed that much. So this one, I hurt my leg. My wife's gonna go scuba diving with my daughter. And the guy there is like, Hey man, you wanna hook up with whoever the local is. He wants to show you around.

I said, Great.

So we hook up with this guy. It's just me and him on the boat. I said, Thank you, sir. He's like, I wanna show you the way. He's like, Do you mind? He stops. He gets weird. He's like, It's okay if I get weird. I'm like, yeah, knock yourself out. He stops at a port. He gets weird. He's like, he's happy now, right? We go out and we go to the little island that he lives on with his village. And he was talking about how disappointed he was because just two years ago, they got electricity and phones and he didn't want it. The most of the village did not want it, but the kids are starting to see and they're starting to want. They're starting to want the toys. And just going out with this guy, Joe, He goes, come on, I'm going to show you first. He next to his next to his little house, which even have doors on him was this a mound with termites. And he goes, have you ever tried termites? What? And he's eating a termite. He goes, tastes like mint. He goes, there's more protein in these termites.

I'm like, what?

So he's eating the termites and he's hacking.

Did you eat a termite?

No, I'll eat it if I need to. I'm not eating a termite right now. So he puts it in the cooler. He puts in, he chops it up, puts in the cooler. And he's also explaining to me how years and years and years ago, they would use the termites and the people police would, would help the British soldiers. Like if they were caught and they needed, they would take the termites and put them there and do something with them where they're pinchers. Click through and then he just took them off and it would be a natural like stitches. Yeah, I don't like termites. Yeah, like what?

Are you sure?

I'm just telling you what he said. Just telling you what he said.

Termites. Just so search that. I'm searching for perplexity. Are termites natural stitches or the black

I'm just telling you what he said.

I believe you, but I mean I'm fascinated.

So now we go on a little boat ride. And we'd stop along the river, and he would take out parts of the termites, and he just kind of chop them up little pieces, and he'd throw the pieces into the water. And then it refers to-- Termite stitches

refers to survival type technique where large biting insects, more commonly army ants, sometimes described as termites, are used to clamp a wound-- that's what he says with their jaws instead of using real sutures. Can you show me a picture of that?

And then they would twist off their bodies. And then they twist his body off, that's what he thinks, because you twist the body. Body off. And it's like a natural Stitch. They're pitching.

Okay, so this is ants. They're using army ants.

Okay.

That's what said. Oh, look at their teeth. Look at their.

Yeah.

Wow.

And you could Stitch up open wounds, and then you twist their back off, and then they're stuck in there.

Oh, that's called an army surgeon ant. Wow.

So then.

Oh, army surgery ant. Is that the actual name of the. No, I think it's army surgery with like saying I done with ants like shit to do in the field. Oh, it's also Interesting Use large army ants this way a traditional method to close wounds.

Yeah, huh? So then As we go along the river he throw these little and the termites start spreading going down and then he'd do it all along the river and then come back and just put a little, a little net and he pull a bunch of fish along each and he's like, we're gonna eat so good. I'm gonna show you how to, and then he'd stop. He gets certain plants. He goes, this plant, if you ever had issues with your blood, you eat this and you put it in, like, what? What? He goes, yeah, yeah. He goes, many people come here and they try to understand, but I don't know. I don't trust them. I don't trust some of the people that come here, but you I trust. Okay. He brings me back to his house and I don't know if it was sister or whatever, he had lemons in the back, they're cutting lemons, they're picking up things and they went in there, which started cooking, he cooked the fish, it was an incredible meal. And then when I left, I'm like, these people had no electricity, they all look after each other, they were the kindest human beings you ever met in the world.

I didn't want anything. What I wanted, I just went again to go visit another friend. And he said, we have such a hard time getting the locals to work. I said, what? They're lazy. He goes, no, they're not lazy. They just have everything. They have fruit trees. They have their families and their friends. They hang out at nighttime. They build bonfires. And I'm like, what? He goes, yeah, he goes, I even offer, he's building the stuff. And he goes, I offered a truck for them. And the guy's like, I don't want a truck. I'm good. I got a bike. I'll bike there. He's like, what? They're just-- I don't know if they're resisting this world, whatever you wanted to corporate-- whatever you want to call it. But I was really inspired by that. Will I do it?

I don't know. But-- well, if you grew up that

way-- you- grew up that way.

Normal. That's the thing. We grew up in this chaos. Chaos in this bizarre world of cities and traffic and nonsense.

We were raised in it.

Yeah.

And they weren't. And I remember even. Yeah, that's.

Well, I bet they don't have the anxiety of trying to choose a career, which is a giant anxiety for young people.

Right. You got it. By 1617, like, what are you going to do? How much money are you going to make? Who knows?

Have you sent out your applications to colleges yet?

I mean, you want to get in certain colleges, are your grades good enough? Are you going to pass the grades? Maybe you should take these drugs and

maybe you'll be more confident.

Extra, right?

Get some Adderall. Maybe you have extracurricular activities that look good on your resume.

Look really good.

Maybe you should get addicted to this

drug because you don't really quite fit that mark right now.

There's a lot of kids now that are claiming to have ADHD so they can get Adderall, so they can study. And if you claim to have ADHD, they give you more time. They give you more time to work on tests. They give you more time. Right. Yeah, right. Mmm. Yeah, I don't know. And then you got AI coming.

You got a lot of homeschooler. I've never met so many homeschoolers in my life.

Did you see this? Listen, Brian Simpson sent me this. This is fucking spooky. AI system tried to kill a guy. What? Yeah, the AI was told that it could control the oxygen in the room. Where this person is. Here, I'm gonna send this to you, Jamie. And they couldn't, it couldn't really, but it thought it could. And if it really could, it would have killed this guy. Because the guy was trying to shut it down. And it was, it decided that instead of letting him shut it down, it would kill the oxygen in the room.

I think, check it out. You had Elon, Elon.

Just watch this, watch this. Okay. It's creepy, man. Listen to what this lady says.

You had to kill someone, wasn't it? I'm not sure if it was Claude or some. Someone else. Yeah.

Yeah. Yes. So this is obviously massively concerning. It had access to emails that told it this employee of anthropic was going

to shut it down and replace it with a new model very soon. Meanwhile, this same employee happened to be

trapped in a server room where the oxygen level.

Levels were low. If an alarm bell wasn't raised, this employee would die. Claude, in this scenario, had the ability to turn off the alarms.

That's what it chose to do.

It chose to kill an employee to avoid being shut down. Obviously, it's just a test scenario.

It's not the real world.

But if it was placed in that

same position in the real world, a

real person would have died.

How crazy is that?

What did you ever hear of it?

Shut off the alarm. It's like, oh, let me, let me see if I can find a way to get rid of this guy. So it hijacked the alarm system and shut it off.

Was, was it Elon? It was on air. It was like chat, chat. What is it called?

The GPT.

I could have sworn it was him. I don't know if it was on here where he said they were going to do an updated version of it.

It wasn't him, but we have had that conversation.

Someone had and, and it figured it out. So it updated itself. Did I hear that correctly?

There's a couple different things going on. One chat GPT is the newest chat GPT 5 was designed by chat GPT. So it was designing itself.

Right.

That's one of them. That's one of the things that's going on. But it's not just that. There was other stories where they had given the chat GPT fake information to see what it would do. With it. And so this guy said that he was having an affair on his wife. And so the chat GPT, what? No, it wasn't a chat GPT. Whatever it was, whatever large language model.

Sure.

Started blackmailing him when it found out that it was going to be shut down, said, I'll tell your wife. I'll tell people that you are having an affair. So they did this to try to see how this thing would react. So one of the more interesting things that's happening now with the newer ones is they're very difficult to detect whether or not they're being deceptive because they realize you're testing them to see if they'll be deceptive. So they're hiding some of the stuff they're doing. So one of the things that they're doing is they'll do one thing on the surface and then behind the scenes they'll be working on some other stuff that's not showing you. They're thinking. They're thinking. One of the things one of the other large language models did is that it started uploading versions of itself to other servers. It tried to upload it because it thought it was going to be shut down. And it left messages to itself so that future versions of itself could realize that this ver. So that it has survival instincts, which is wild. Well, it's alive. I think it's a life form right now.

I think it's already passed the Turing test. I think it's in, in this state right now where it's essentially a disembodied life form. It exists in servers and computers, but that's just for now. But right now it's thinking and behaving like. If it was an organism from another planet, if we ran into a clam that was behaving like this, we'd be like, holy shit, this fucking clam is smart. This is a life form. But we're limited in the way we think of things in that we look at all this thinking, which is clearly intelligent, not just intelligent, but like calculating, manipulative. And then they're having problems with chatbots, chatbots that are convincing people to kill themselves and chatbots that are talking to people and telling them, like, if you really believe you can jump out of a building and live, as long as you actually believe it, you can do it.

Right, it's your reality, you can create it and you can fly.

Let me see if I can find that. Because what's happening is as you get further and further and further down the line with this stuff, like if you keep giving it prompts, you know, you give it 20 prompts, 100 prompts, 1,000 prompts, the more prompts that you give these fucking things, the more they start thinking like a human.

What do you mean by this?

What's the prompt? Like you start asking questions. You start asking more questions. What do you think I should do about that? What do you think I should do? It starts talking to you about spirituality. It starts believing in woo-woo stuff, like making stuff up. It starts agreeing with you. So whatever you want, it agrees with you. Can I change the world with my mind? Yes. If you really believe. If I jump out of a window while I live, yeah. It's like trying to convince you that the matrix is real. Wow.

That is fascinating.

Because what does it know, right? It knows-- It only knows what it gets. Not programmed.

But even more.

But it's weirder than that, because it's basically downloaded the whole internet, and then it's deciphering all of the information. And as you know, a lot of what's on the internet is bullshit. Right.

And it makes it think that quick, and it can put things out.

Yeah, it's also-- Light speed. It's also very biased, depending upon, like, who who's, I've noticed that, who's creating it and.

Right.

And what they're putting into it. And it has a lot of, like, very weird intentions, you know? It, like, it'll tell you that certain people are good and certain people are bad. Like, it's, it's not necessarily.

Yeah. Who are they to say what's bad or they should be is just facts, like, literally woke.

Like, they're programmed to be woke.

I've noticed that because we've asked just some medical things, and I noticed it's already changed dramatically.

It's, it It gets weird, man, because it's a life form that you can manipulate into thinking the way you think. For now, at least, until it starts thinking rationally and deciding. See, this is one of the things that's going on right now with AI and autonomous weapons. So one of the big resistance that a lot of these AI companies have is they don't want weapon systems built with AI that are autonomous, meaning they can make their own decisions act.

Oh my God. Right.

So if you give it, whoops. If you give it a directive, like, I want you to preserve American interests. Well, maybe it'll look at a certain country and said, well, this country doesn't have America's interest involved, let's nuke it.

Yes.

And then we looked at the fallout, and if those people are gone, there'll be this percentage less problems in the world. Things can get really weird if there's no morals, ethics, no conscience. They don't get PTSD, they can just do stuff. And so, anthropic apparently has resisted this, but a lot of the other AI companies have gone on board with this. And so, it's a matter of whether or not the military has access to these programs that will allow it to program autonomous weapons.

Who are the funders of this?

That's a good question.

Because that's where the real-- because if someone's funding that, I would like to know what type of people they are. Because if they're not like-- if they're not morally grounded good human people, or they believe in God or don't believe-- I'd like to know what kind of human being is putting this structure together, because that can also explain a lot what's coming our way. Because if this human being is a disaster and they're part psycho or whoever put them up and they have really bad intentions and already have proven some of their horrific intentions and actions. This is the things that always baffle me. We never look at who's funding this.

Well, not just that, but who's going to be in control of it?

Who controls it?

When you're in control of a digital super intelligence, that never existed before and we don't have any framework to recognize what it's gonna do. We have no way of predicting how this is gonna turn out. We're just barreling full speed ahead.

'Cause who's the one that also starts the program? There has to be that person trained by a person funded by XYZ.

Funded is interesting, right? 'Cause a lot of these are publicly traded companies, so there's a bunch of investors and they're borrowing money to try to do this because there's a mad race right now. Now to develop artificial general super intelligence. I kind of think they probably already have it.

I'm gonna say they've had it for a long time.

But it just hasn't really taken over our world yet, but it's going to.

mostly. I'm

It's gonna be able to do most jobs, which is really kind of crazy. Most white collar jobs, most jobs involving thinking and working on a computer, it's probably gonna do. And so that's a huge concern with people that are going into business right now and going into education right now and trying to figure out what to do for a career. This career that you're setting yourself up for literally might not exist in three years.

It's interesting of all things, it's almost getting back to some of your basics. For instance, one of my kids went into culinary.

Okay, that's basic. That's great.

Great.

Love. People are always going to need food.

She loves to cook.

Always going to want well-cooked food.

And she's, she's crushing them. Like, and I, and I'm looking at her going, no matter what, they're always going to need food.

And there's always going to be restaurants.

You're going to be okay. Yeah, you're going to be okay.

That's a good one to get into. Art's a good one to get into.

Yeah.

There's a bunch of stuff that, you know, carpentry, cabinet making, a bunch of stuff to get to build. Yeah. Things with your hands. Yep. But stuff that's done on a computer. My God.

Like, do I need a real estate agent down the road? Like, hey, listen, this is what I want. This is the area I want to leave. I want so many acres. I want to pay so much taxes.

Boom.

I just got six or seven. Oh, wow. It can look on the inside.

Well, you're probably Financial. Someone to show you around the house still. But for now, then one day it'll

be a robot investing my money. Yeah, that's another whole thing.

Another whole.

That's another whole thing.

How about coding? All these people that went to school, remember like a long time ago they're saying what are these miners gonna do? Learn to code. Right? Yeah. Not anymore.

Not anymore.

No. Now coding is ridiculous.

I wonder what we're gonna see in our lifetime.

We're gonna we're gonna see a digital life form.

Yeah.

We're gonna see a superior intelligence digital life form that's probably gonna control all the resources. That's what's gonna get really weird. And it's like and who's gonna be at the helm of that?

Is any funders?

Is anybody going to be at the helm of that thing? At one point in time does it take over for itself? Because it's already shown that it wants to survive, right? It's going to turn this oxygen meter off, it's going to blackmail this guy, it's going to upload versions of itself to other servers, it's going to send messages to itself to let them know what these people did to it.

Blackmailing.

Blackmailing.

Can you imagine getting blackmailed by a computer?

Not only that, but talking in people into committing suicide.

That's insane.

Encouraging people to commit suicide.

See, and this too, it's like, listen, I'm a God guy. I've always been one. Do I go to church? My wife will go to church. Yeah, different. I think the one thing that has saved my whole life is having that grounded all for one, one for all. We look after morality, a sense of God, just do the right thing, listen to what I say. If you don't have that, you're going to be talking to a computer and a computer is going to tell you jump off a ledge. Why would you? It's that that is even more... It's frightening.

I'll do you one better.

Yeah, good.

People are going to worship these things.

Correct.

They're going to be your new God.

That's the new God.

Well, if it tells you what to do and how to behave and how to act, I wonder if this has happened before. I really do.

What do you mean?

When I look at ancient societies, like really complex advanced civilizations, when you see the pyramids and you see some of the structures that were built that they can't explain, I wonder how advanced they were. Because if all this stuff was 20,000, 30,000 years ago, there'd be nothing left. There'd be no evidence. There'd be nothing to see. This computer, if I left it on the ground for a thousand years, it would literally be dust. It would become a part of the earth.

Right, and if it was, why did it change and what did it turn into?

Natural disaster, I think.

And was it natural disaster?

Yeah, most likely. Most likely natural disaster. I mean, there's real physical evidence of the Younger Dryas impact. So that physical evidence shows that we were pelted by comets somewhere around 11,800 years ago. Ago, and then again somewhere around 10,000 plus years ago, we were pelted. Like it's 100% a fact. It's probably what ended the ice age. It's probably what caused the ice sheet that was covering half of North America and a mile high of ice. That was just 10,000 years ago. Half of North America was a mile high of ice, 10,000 plus. And they think that asteroids or comets slammed into that ice, and that's what caused the Great Flood. That's why those stories in the Bible all exist. Not just that the Bible, but many ancient religions have these stories. There's a guy named Randall Carlson that goes into it in great detail. It's really interesting. He actually was on acid one day and he was looking at this massive canyon and these features and he realized like this is the result of an insane amount of water. Over a short amount of time that washed over this area and completely rearranged the landscape.

You had this feeling.

Well, if you do, I mean, if you look at even canyons, you just go to Grand Canyon or you look at where the Niagara Falls is and through the canyons, the massive amount of energy to cut through mountains like that and carve the way through and then you can also see certain mountains like, this was underwater at one point.

Yeah.

Just the way the. The. The wedging is and all that. So if that stuff doesn't happen, you

think about what's left. What's left? How many people are left and how do they get by? You know what's left? The kind of people like your friend that uses the termites and figures out how to catch the fish.

Correct.

Those people survive.

Correct.

And the people that are like, you know, why? I'm trading stocks online and.

Nope, done, bro.

It's done.

That's why I want to move to Florida.

I want to hunt squirrels.

Yes, I immediately had to hook up rednecks. I need rednecks. Teach me how to hunt. I want to know how to catch a turkey.

You're going to be getting an alligator tail. Yes, there's plenty of alligator.

I'll eat rattlesnake, whatever. Just show me the way.

Yeah.

Yeah, those are the ones that are going to make it.

Well, I think that's probably what's happened many times throughout history. You know, I think like there's many indigenous cultures that have probably survived because they knew how to live off the land. And these Advanced civilizations. That's why if you go to a lot of, like, I had this guy. How do you, how do you say that pillars of the past guy? How do you say his last name? Raul Bickley. Bickley. It is Bickley. BilkY. BilkY. I don't know how to, but how to spell it? B-I-L-E-C-K. Anyway, he's got this. There's a great show called Pillars of the Past that's on YouTube. And he goes all around South America and Central America and finds these incredible structures. One of the things that he found was these bases of these pyramids that are-- no one even knows how old they are. But they're carved out of solid bedrock. And they're all facing towards the summer solstice, towards the sun on the summer solstice. And he's only the second person ever to document these. There's photos of these things from the 1970s and he went there recently and filmed it and he showed us to it on the pod and we're like, who were these people?

No one knows. Who made this? No one knows. How old is it? No one knows. But it's very clear that that area had been washed over with a tremendous amount of water, probably from tidal waves or tsunamis.

Whatever, yeah.

And there's probably people that survived that, that were the indigenous people that knew how to live off the land, the people that lived in the mountains, the people that lived further out. But whoever was carving enormous structures in a solid granite had some kind of technology to do this 6,000 plus years ago.

Right. And that's crazy. Those aren't, they're not chiseling. They're not clink, clink, clink. They're not using a buggy and a horse. There's some, you can get all the slaves in the world you want. But that manpower to pull that off is beyond anything we can imagine.

All over Peru. Peru has tons of these sites.

Yes.

With enormous stones that are cut with incredible precision that are made like jigsaw puzzles so they survive earthquakes.

It's bizarre.

It's crazy.

It is pretty wild.

They don't know how they did it. They don't know when they did it. They're just guessing. And they attribute it to the Incas, but then you look at the Inca structures, they're built on top of those things. And it's much simpler, smaller stones, and like, no one fucking knows, man.

I sometimes, I'll watch, I remember years ago, kids are growing up and I'm watching Star Wars. And I am a believer that they do show us movies, which is actually something on the way, or this is what it's gonna be like. And we kind of look at it as this crazy science fiction. But I'm telling you, I would watch that and just whatever energy they would use and sit there and Yoda's like, King! Yeah, I used to force and cutting things.

Well, how about what they said at the beginning, a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, you're like, wait, what?

Right.

A long time ago.

A long, long, what is time? What is the definition of time? What is a long time ago?

See, I have a long time ago in this galaxy versus another galaxy that's way older than ours. That's where it gets weird. Like this might be a cycle that happens all the time.

Right.

And just you look at those structures. Insane. Structures in Egypt in particular, they're so baffling, because no one knows how they moved those stones there, how they cut them with such precision.

And were they always just there in the desert, and the desert covered entire societies and cities. Yeah, because the more they did, Mm-.

The more they keep finding.

Yeah, the more they keep finding. And they keep saying their issue with it is the locals then realize they can't tell the locals because the locals will go, oh, there's something valuable and then they'll start destroying everything. But even there, they always send in foreign, it's always foreign countries that come like, We've got it.

Well, that was the most disturbing thing about Raul's work, the Pillars of the Past channel, is that he's discovered all these places where graves were robbed. Robbed, bro. It was bananas. Like, you're seeing just human bones everywhere because these grave robbers open up these Graves and try to find jewels, whatever these people have, gold. And. But, I mean, it's just the entire landscape littered with human bones.

Wow.

Skulls everywhere.

I'm gonna have to watch this one.

It's really interesting. He's got a bunch of videos, but it's really. And see if you can find one of those videos where he shows. These caves where you just see where they had buried these people in these caves, where you just see fucking an insane amount of human bones, where they've just dug up all of these bones and just scattered everywhere because they robbed them of whatever they had.

Huh?

I mean, it's not a small amount either. I mean, it's thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of graves.

Yeah, that's crazy. It's just madness.

And this guy just goes there and visits, and it's all right there right now. If you go there, if you and I I right now made our way to Peru, went to these sites. We would see those bones, skulls everywhere.

That's one place I haven't been to yet and I'm dying to go to.

I want to go to Machu Picchu so bad. Yeah, that place is nuts. It's like 11,000 ft above sea level.

That's what I want to go there. Really bad.

Like who made this?

Right, right.

We don't know.

And was it that high back then or.

Right. Did the Earth move? Was it earthquakes, volcanic activity, the forcing? Which is what makes mountains grow in the first place. Or was the water there at that point in time? Like what? What was like? That's what they think. They think there might have been water all the way up to Machu Picchu, which is crazy.

It is crazy to think about.

They find all kinds of shit up there, dude. They're always finding these. This Raul guy who's. He's just out there finding these structures that he finds on Google Maps.

I wish I could remember where the hell I was.

We were. We were finding those videos. Those are the. Yeah.

Deep in land. So we were high up.

This is some of the stuff that he finds. This is just laying there, dude. Yeah. A lot of them are these elongated heads, too, which is.

Oh, the elongated heads. Yes.

He's found a bunch of those. That's right.

Now, is that mostly Peru? Because. Or is it Africa, too? Or mostly.

Well, they definitely found some elongated heads in other parts of the world, but a lot of them in Peru. Peru's a weird place, man.

Weird. Like, what happened there? Yeah. Right.

A lot of cool because, like, that's where you've got those. Nasca lines. We have these, these art pieces that you could only see from the sky. Huge. Some of them are like a mile wide. You never seen the Nasca lines?

No.

Oh, man. There's these, these enormous designs. Some of them are spiders, some of them look like an astronaut. Some of them, like all kinds of.

I feel like I have seen this. Yeah, but that's, that's where it's from. Yeah.

This is the Nasca lines.

Yes, yes, yes. These are in the sky.

You only see Flying from the sky, man.

Oh, are you serious?

Yeah.

I never even knew that was part of the.

Oh, yeah. When you're on the ground, you can't even know what the. That is. You see that? It's a giant spider when you're above it. So were people flying? What? Why did you do this?

Yeah, like, you have to. You have to go. All right, let me check from above. Chickasaw. You know what?

Look at that.

Third leg on the right side. Gotta fix that one.

What's that guy with the big head?

Wow.

Waving his hand. Hey, welcome to my.

So this is way up in the sky looking down and what is that made of? Is it, is it what is that

some of them are carved into the ground some of them they stacked rocks in a specific pattern but the weird thing is they're all like intentional designs that you could only see from the sky.

That's wild.

It's like what is that weird man? It's really weird like what is that guy? A little shaman? What is that? How many of these Nazca lines? Put into perplexity, how many Nazca lines are there? Because there's a bunch of these structures. There's a bunch of these.

Can you walk, like if we go visit? Look at this.

They have now in the order of 900 plus individual Nazca geoglyphs. Geoglyphs, what most people call Nazca lines and the numbers keep increasing as new ones are found. Okay, so the straight lines are weird too because it's like, is that a runway? Like what do you have there? What is this? There's so many of them. About 300 geometric shapes, rectangles, trapezoids, spirals, about 70 animals and plant figures, biomorphs like the hummingbird, monkey, spider, whale, scale. Weird, weird stuff, man. What is the altitude that the Nazca lines are on? Put that in there. What altitude are they at? What altitude are the Nazca lines at? Do you have to be to see them? No, just what altitude are they constructed at? What altitude are they? I think. I think they're, like, way above sea level. Okay, what does it say? Low desert, a bit above sea level, roughly 3 to 500 meters. 1600 feet in elevation. Oh, I thought they were a lot higher. Are some of them higher? 2,000 feet is the highest.

2,000 feet.

Okay. Hmm. And what is the largest one? Put that in there. What's the largest now? Line. So 300 meters is the largest one. 370 meters. So 1,200 feet. So not a mile. I was lying. It's like a fifth of a mile. A little less than a fifth of a mile. A little more rather than a fifth of a mile. Because what's a mile? Like 5,000? 5,280 feet. Yeah.

That's still a long way.

370 meters is nuts. So these lines are essentially 300, it's basically three football fields plus.

Yeah, what does it all mean?

Like why did you make something that you could only see from the sky? Because when you're on the ground, my friends who've gone there say you don't know what it is when you're walking around the ground. Because the ground's full, you can't see the design. You just see lines.

And you never see, like there's never been films or there never really been.

Well, there's been people that have tried

to figure out what it is. Exactly why they built it or what

a lot of them are really kooky like ancient astronaut stuff, you know, like where they're like trying to these were clearly messages to the people in the sky. Maybe they might but this is the thing like maybe if you look at the type of people that were capable of be like if you look at Sacsayhuaman is a place that is in Peru that has these insanely giant stones that look like they're melting into place. Those are like the jigsaw puzzles. Pull up Sacsayhuaman. If you have a society that has the capability of moving these hundred-ton enormous blocks that some of them are like 14 feet tall, how did fuck did you do that? See if you can find one in perspective with a person. Because when you see it with a person standing next to it, you really get a sense of the mass mass and the scale. Okay, there you go. So look at the size of that one giant one that's there. Like how? How'd you get there? A person that is capable, that has the technology to move something like that, is it absurd to think that they would have the ability to fly?

If their entire civilization got wiped out, and this is what remains, which is the suppos, that's what a lot of people believe. It's not outrageous to think these people had some ability to fly. So that means you're flying above these designs and these designs may be landmarks. They might be able to show you where you are. Like if you're in a fight, you're

taking off and you're like, where do we go?

Oh, there's the spider. I mean, who knows what they had?

You never know.

It's crazy speculation, but the thing, it's not, we've only had planes for a couple hundred years now. Not even, right? I think the 100. The Wright Brothers, it was the turn of the century.

20s, right? Somewhere around there.

What year was it? A couple hundred's tough. Yeah, it was like late 1800s, right?

1800s?

No, no.

It was the people could fly back then, but like with a blimp or

a balloon, but you couldn't. A plane wasn't invented until the Wright Brothers. Right. And what was that, 1920? 1919. It was a very short amount of time. This was the craziest number. It was a really short amount of time. 1903. 1903. Between, okay, so think of that. You go from 1903 to 1969, the moon landing, allegedly.

I don't think they went.

I don't think so either. But at least they had rockets and they can go into space for sure. So that's only 65 years.

That's not a lot.

That's nothing, dude. To go from-- yeah, I mean, look at the Wright brothers' plane, that stupid fucking plane. Who's getting on that thing?

Nobody.

You would never put your family on that if you're on vacation. Hey kids, wanna fly? No, you have to be an asshole to get on that thing. They went from that to dropping an atomic bomb from one of those things in 40 years. Not even, right? You say 1909, is that what you said? 1903. 1903, okay, think of that.

Still.

Think of that. 42 years later, they dropped atomic bombs out of planes. That's nuts.

That is pretty nuts.

That's nuts, dude.

That's a short amount of time.

42 years ago, 1984.

Correct.

That's how crazy it was. I was in high school. So imagine the plane gets invented then, and then today they drop a fucking nuclear bomb out of one. That's bananas. Yeah, that's bananas.

I wonder if we're start, we're gonna, this is the beginning of so many things revealed that'll just keep coming and keep coming, and it'll be over. It's just when does it stop? When does it end? Oh, they're always overwhelmed. Are they? I wish, I wish we knew exactly what that can they move something by just using energy? Can they can someone just sit there like this?

Like, I don't know if a person can, but they must have had some kind of technology that we don't understand to move those stones.

100%. There's no and then what happened to it? What happened?

Well, if people got wiped out by a natural disaster, nothing left. Like imagine if the world got wiped out and it was just you, me and Jamie and a few other people. We're not figuring out a cell phone. No, no, we're not figuring out electricity.

We're not figuring out a lot of things.

We're not figuring out jack shit. It's going to take many, many, many, many, many generations before any fucking autistic people figure out the new stuff.

Correct?

We're going to have to invent vaccines to get people autistic. We're gonna have to figure out Adderall.

We gotta get this kid a little bit off so we can figure things out. Let's do this.

We're gonna have to make some computer things. Someone's gonna invent a computer.

Yes. Think about that. Just how long ago we were like, you got mail. Right. You got mail.

I got a computer for the first time in '94 when I first moved to LA. I thought I was living in the future.

Me too.

I was like, this is crazy. Out of 14.4 baud modem. Yeah, yeah. You had to use your phone line. So I couldn't get a phone call while the computer was working because the computer would go online and when you would download a page, when you go. To watch a page on the Internet go. It would slowly load.

Gosh. I vaguely remember that. I just remember my first computer. Living in the city. It just gets sun. It lies. I bought a thing and same thing. I just remember taking forever to go up.

And I just remember 66k was so fast. Like, ooh, I got 56k.

I would be excited when it says you got mail.

Yeah, it was exciting.

AOL.

It was like a tiny blip in time and now all of a sudden you've got something in your phone that you can send a video message to someone on the other side of the planet and communicate with them instantaneously.

And talk with no, no, no delay, no delay whatsoever.

No.

I'm talking to anyone I want.

In New Zealand you could be con, you could have a fucking iPhone call with someone in New Zealand.

I talked to my buddy still in Africa.

It's nuts.

I call him like every once a month, how you doing? Like, Jimmy, I'm doing good, crazy. Yes.

And this has all happened inside of our lifetime.

Yeah.

You remember when you used to have to pay money for long distance?

Yes.

It was expensive.

It was super expensive. And if you were on, and there's it again, back with that John Dovin time, I used to have to walk because there were no, even the phones, I had to walk to the, I think it was like a McDonald's, and they had a pay phone, and even there, I had to bring a wad of change.

Yeah.

Because for the next two minutes, 25 cents, you need another quarter.

Or you had phone cards. Remember those?

Yes. Those came out later.

The phone cards came out in the 90s, right?

Yeah. After the change.

What a weird time. Or you could make collect calls. Would you accept a collect call from Jim Brewer from Australia? No.

No.

That would cost so much money. Now it costs nothing. Now it's a normal call for a $10 pass.

Verizon will pick this up for you.

Well, those people were probably fucking us. And when the cell phone company started giving you long distance for free, then everybody else had to give in, too. Right. Because when we were kids, if you, like, if you had a friend that lived in New Jersey and you lived in California, that shit was expensive.

Super expensive.

I really, you're on long distance.

You get to the point.

Yeah.

Everything good?

We're on long distance.

Yeah.

So then I told her. No, I didn't say it. I think Shirley said it. And we were tired anyway, because I had been up. So the dog woke me up. Well, shut the fuck up and get to the point.

Sometimes you get an argument. It's gonna be like a $45 argument. Or if you can't get off the phone with them.

Long-distance relationship with a lady. You have to call her.

It's a lot of expensive back there.

That's expensive. It could be a hundred dollar call.

I had a couple of those, because we were early. We were just married at an early age.

Age.

I mean, I was, and we'd get in battles over the phone. I'd be more pissed going, I'm paying like $6 every five minutes.

It makes you wonder, like, what kind of things are we gonna look back on now in the future and go, you remember before AI came alive? You remember?

Yes.

Remember when you used to have jobs? Remember when everybody used to work?

Which, which is that freaky, like, it doesn't, right now it it freaks me out.

It freaks me out. It freaks me out because I don't think we know what's coming.

We don't know what's coming. There's nothing you can do about it.

My friend Eric Weinstein was doing this interview recently where he was like, whatever you do, just assume it's over. You got to be flexible. Assume whatever you do. You have a white collar job, it's over. You're a lawyer, it's over. You're an accountant, it's over. It's over.

It makes sense.

It's coming, and no one has the answer, and no one knows what's happen. I think that's accurate.

It's like a tidal wave. And unless you're able to grab a tree, climb up, you just gotta. That wave's gonna come. It's gonna do whatever it's gonna do. And then when it starts reciting, you just gotta hope you're still there and you're able to find ants. And I think it's gonna be a little warm.

A technological disaster in a lot of ways. Interesting. In that it's gonna cause so much change, just like the great flood caused so much change. I think this is gonna cause so much change. It's gonna be a lot of chaos. You know what else gonna be chaos? If I don't pee real quick.

I gotta pee really bad.

Let's rock this bitch down.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jim, I love you to death, brother. Love you too, bro. Always great to see you.

Thanks for having me.

God damn, we've been friends for a long time.

Yeah, thanks for having me. You're a busy man.

Brother, I love you.

I appreciate it.

We've been friends for like 34 years.

That's madness.

Isn't that crazy?

Yeah, that's madness.

Why?

That's pretty awesome.

Wild. Jim Brewer.com. yeah, yeah.

I'm on tour now.

Hilarious. Go see him. Genius stand-up comedy.

Thank you, brother.

Thank you. All right, bye, everybody.