Transcript of #2458 - Matt McCusker New

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A lot of people have lights on their tables now to light up their face to make them look more pretty.

Really?

Yeah. They have, like, a slight, like a, like a opening in the table and then a light that gets on you so you don't see, like, the shadows in your face, so you don't look. Looks shitty.

I feel like, isn't that what you do? Like a scary story, you put a flashlight under your chin.

Yeah, but they're not trying to do that. They're trying to like balance it out.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Flat.

That's crazy, man.

You look like what you look like.

Yeah, you gotta give up after a while.

The weirdest shit is men who use filters when they take pictures.

That's insane.

There's comedian men that use filters.

Really?

Yes. It's very odd.

How do you know?

How do you know what they really look like? And then you see them and they look like a cartoon. Like Netflix does that with their The pictures that they use when they promote your special, like the picture of you, they'll put that bitch through a filter.

That makes sense.

You look so pretty.

If people see you after the show, you're like, you look horrible. I didn't know you looked so bad.

You look so old. Thanks, man. I am so old. I'm almost 60. Dang. I know, it's crazy. I'm 58.

I'm 40. I just turned 40.

Those are real numbers.

Yeah, I know. As soon as I had kids, I aged like immediately. You would have thought I literally gave birth.

Yeah, well, it's this lack of sleep.

Yeah, that's what got me.

Yeah. You know what's really good for that? Creatine.

I've been taking it.

Yeah, creatine, they say 20 grams a day. Start with five and work your way up to 20 and check to see how your butthole holds up because the seal might be loose.

I've ran this experiment. 20 gets my guts going, man.

Bro, it does. It does. I don't do 20 in a dose. I do 10 in the morning and 10 at night. I didn't think. Because I was doing 20 in a dose and it was just like, everybody

out of the pool. I'm also not convinced diarrhea is bad for you. I swear to God, like, not shitting for sure, but diarrhea is just like, let's speed this up.

Well, isn't that what, is that consumption? What is the disease where you can't stop having diarrhea?

Dysentery.

Dysentery, that's it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Shit. All right, well, if you can't stop having it, sure.

Well, that's like, you can't digest food. It just goes right through you and just shit. Constantly.

How you shit starved?

Yeah.

That sucks actually.

Yeah, it sucks. Not good.

Once a week though, that's fine.

You know what I used to do? I used to drink kale smoothies in the morning. That was the first thing that I would do. I would throw kale and garlic and like apples and shit in a blender and that's what I would drink first thing in the morning.

Yeah.

And boy, that is just like, that clears the pathway. That's like, like, you know when you clear your rain gutters of leaves?

Yeah.

You get a hose on that bitch and you fucking blow them off the top. That's what it is.

It's like, yeah, I've done the green drink before. It does get you. I was vegan for like a month and that was like the biggest dumps. But I actually got hemorrhoids from being vegan.

Oh, because on the toilet.

It was just that the turds were so big. I was getting like blown out. I got hemorrhoids from being vegan.

Was it taking too long to poop or what? You just like, it was just spectacular.

It was spectacular. They were massive bowl winders. It was like twice a day. I was like, I was like, you're an adult entertainer. I was like, my body just gave out.

That's adult entertainer. Well, when you think about it, it's all that fiber that your body doesn't process. But they say that that's what's good for keeping you clean, you know? Yeah. Fiber pushes everything out.

I'm back on the fiber train now. I was all about protein now. I'm like, yeah, I need, I need my fiber now.

But it's, it's hard to know who's right, because the carnivore people are like, you don't need fiber. There's no need for fiber. But then there's, like, There's evidence that fiber is good for you.

Yeah. Isn't that what your whole microbiome needs to like make the germs or whatever that are good for your brain? I don't know. I get confused as well, but my

balance is I eat a lot of kimchi. I really like kimchi.

That's a move.

I eat that stuff all the time. Kimchi and I eat sauerkraut. That stuff's legit.

Yeah, I know that stuff's supposed to be good for you, but yeah, I tried the carnivore and it was like, I first five days I felt cool and then like after I think I made it to 17 days. I was like, dude, if I just eaten some vegetables with this, I'd be the healthiest guy in the world. Because it would just like, I stopped pooping. Like, I was like, this can't be good for me.

Well, you don't poop much because there's no fiber. So when you do poop, it's just.

Yeah, I remember. I remember just all the rabbit pellets.

And you're like, where's the rest? But, I mean, isn't that a good thing? Doesn't mean your body absorbed all of the food instead of, like, having all this undigestible stuff go through your digestive tract. This is the argument that the carnivore people.

Yeah.

I don't want any. Somebody that's a nutritionist right now pulling their hair out.

Disinformation.

I'm just asking.

It's a solid question 'cause it's like, yeah, does meat get stuck in your body and you need plants to push it out of your butt or will meat come out of your butt just like plants will?

Well, that was the thing that they would always say, that every man when he dies, there's a pound of undigested meat in his stomach. Apparently that's not true.

Yeah, that was the old thing about John Wayne. John Wayne had 50 pounds of beef jerky in his butthole. I've thought about that since I was a little boy. I've been wondering, how much are they gonna find in me?

Yeah, I don't think that's true.

So it's not the case.

No, John Wayne just had a gut from probably beer.

Yeah.

You know, beer and pasta and bread.

True.

And, you know, normal American food.

Also, he was, I mean, when was, what was his heyday, like 50s, 60s, or 60s, I guess 60s, 70s maybe?

When did he do that Genghis Khan movie? That's what killed him. What year was that? 50s, I think.

Yeah, 'cause it's like those dudes weren't on like a true grit.

Those days, yeah.

Dude, they weren't being like, oh, how much fiber have I had?

No.

Yeah, they were that was even in like the 90s. You would do. Didn't think about what they're eating.

56. 56. Wow. That's one of the worst movies of all time. You ever see it?

No, this gangster con movie. How did it kill him?

Oh, he filmed it in the same area where Nevada was doing their nuclear tests. Oh, everybody got cancer. Damn. Like the whole crew, like a giant number of people got cancer.

Yeah. And that I'm telling you, that was back when guys would be like, nuclear bomb. I don't care about like they didn't care. Like I used to work with guys that do asbestos back in like the 90s when I was little. Me, like my dad, my uncle's all day construction. So we were like taking this barn down and I was like a little boy just like hammering nails into an A-frame and they shut it down because there was asbestos in there and there's this guy who was like, dude, your uncle's a pussy. I'd eat that shit for breakfast. I don't care about asbestos. And it's like, I don't know. Now I grew up. I'm like, damn, thank God they shut that down.

But.

Well, there were so many things that caused cancer that no one knew about at the time.

Yeah.

Like, how about baby powder?

Yeah, dude, I didn't know about that either.

Well, the thing is, I think what the story is, is that where they mine the talc, that the talc is not always pure, and the talc has other stuff mixed in it, and they don't filter that stuff out. Is it asbestos that it's mixed with?

I thought that stuff was cornstarch.

I'm not into perplexity, please.

I thought it was cornstarch.

What?

Baby powder.

Baby powder? No. So it's talc, I believe. Evidence small but real cancer risk with some talc-based baby powders, mainly due to genital use, and possible as best Asbestos contamination, yeah, that's it. But the data are mixed and the absolute risk for any one person is low. Talc itself as a mineral can be my near asbestos, so contamination is the main worry. Asbestos is a known cause of mesothelioma and other cancers. Yeah, quite a few women. I think there was a lawsuit.

I remember hearing that. I remember I was just made because that was like, I had a weird thing when I was younger. I used to use baby powder to masturbate. Yo, because it just like makes everything feel so so it was kind of nice and this smell if I smell baby powder to this day It's like a trigger from yeah, if I smell it I'm like god damn, bro that shit away from me.

Well, I used to use it a lot to play pool. Oh, yeah, yeah, everybody use baby powder use baby powder on your fingers and makes the shaft slide through your fingers But then they invented gloves and so that keeps the table clean. Yeah, this is like they're I guess they're I don't know what they're made out of it's like a nylon like a very thin nylon so it's not getting caught up slick. Yeah Yeah, but baby powder. No bueno. What else?

They're saying LED lights now.

That's what I keep hearing.

LED? They're saying like it kills your LED.

Are these LED? Fuck. Do we have to change our lights? Are we dying in here?

I think they like crush your mitochondria.

Oh geez.

I don't know if I just get scared by AI clips on Instagram. I'm scared of everything.

I have to fucking stay offline.

I know.

I'm reading too much of the news and it's overwhelming me. Like sometimes at nighttime, like I can't wind down.

Yeah.

It's just like there's too much news. It's too much fucking madness. We're about to go to war with Iran. I know. Everyone's eating beef jerky and pizza. Like what are these? What the fuck is pizza? You know, how far does this go? How come this never got released before? Like what is happening? This episode is brought to you by Squarespace, the all-in-one website platform that helps you stand out online. And I can say that because my website is powered powered by Squarespace. JoeRogan.com is a Squarespace website. Squarespace makes it easy to secure the best name for your business, and they provide privacy and security tools to ensure your domain remains protected. Head to squarespace.com/rogan for a free trial, and when you are ready to launch, use the offer code Rogan to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

you read that over and over and you get addicted to being like, yeah, that guy sucks. I'm good.

Well, there was an article that I read recently about people being addicted to outrage. Yeah, it's a real thing.

Oh, for sure.

Being addicted to being upset about stuff and addicted to, you'll search for it, which is why your algorithm shows you all that.

Yeah, no, I mean, I don't know if this is true, but I feel like they watch your facial expression through your phone camera and feed you stuff if you're making, like, interested or outraged or whatever.

I wouldn't be shocked.

I've heard they like track your eyeball movement and they're like, okay, this is holding his eyes and they just keep feeding you.

Really?

I've heard that.

She probably put a piece of tape over that bitch.

I know.

I know.

I wonder if you did, how much would change. That'd be an interesting experiment.

Well, they got you mic too, so they got your audio.

That's true.

But yeah, they knew dude, that, yeah, all that Epstein shit is like, I can't follow it. It's too much. It's too many names. I don't know state representatives. They're like naming all these people. It's like, damn, I wish I knew who that was.

And it's dark too. It's horrible and it goes so high. There's so many levels to it, you know, Sager and Yeti was just on flagrant and they were reading off files and talking about the and she's like what the fuck man?

Yeah, it's you need to study all day to like follow it Prince Andrew is crazy him getting arrested He's the first who what other princes gotten? It must have been like not since 500 years ago.

Yeah, once a time my prince was arrested.

I have no idea and also he's if he goes to jail if he goes to real jail He's getting clapped. He's a known, it's very, very likely he was a pedophile. If pedophiles go to jail.

Well, what do they know that they're putting him in jail first or they're arresting him first? What do they know? Because they did a bunch of things, right? The first thing they do is they stripped him of his priesthood, right?

Exactly.

And then they banished him to some estate somewhere on the country. And then they removed him from the estate, they kicked him out of that state. So it's been like levels upon levels. So what do they know?

I think the royal family gets to see the real deal. So they probably saw the real deal and were like, bro, you're fried. You're going to jail. And he'll be, he might be the first, he might get like clapped in jail.

Jesus.

Someone might get royal.

Royal asshole.

Yeah, he's might get royal fucking pussy.

Don't you think they have him? Did they have protection? For sure.

He'll be in productive custody for sure.

Do they have that over there?

They'll probably make a jail for him. I would imagine they do. I think anything we have here, I would imagine they have protective custody. Because if you're even, if people even think you're a pedophile in jail, they're

gonna, do you think that starts like a whole cascade and then a bunch of other people start getting arrested?

No, I think they're gonna hang him up and be like, we got him. I don't believe that all these billionaires are gonna let themselves get arrested. They have billions of dollars.

Paris prosecutors opened two new Epstein linked investigations. Uh oh. With who?

There is, I think it's the Jean-Luc guy.

Who's that?

Co-conspirator. He was also died at it. He died in custody.

Oh, God damn it, not again.

So they've reopened the investigation on that. And somebody else, I think, that they just found out that was high up

in,

I lost it here.

How did he die in jail?

I don't, I, I Officially?

Yeah.

There you go. He was found dead.

Okay, so he just found dead. Oh, he died. How old was he?

At the time?

Yeah. And also the 76.

Oh, that's about the time dudes like that die.

Yeah, but they didn't ever, there's a probe and I think they. They've reopened the probe also.

Of how he died.

Yeah, that's gonna be a tough one to solve.

Yeah, you're gonna have hit some roadblocks. I wouldn't be surprised if somebody whacked him. We were just talking about the guy that Epstein was in jail with, which is crazy. Like, if Epstein is alive, some people think he's alive. Some people think they. They scooted him out of his cell, switched a body double, kill that guy. But if. Why would they put him in jail with that? Gigantic cop who is a contract killer. That guy, that's one picture. Show me the picture of the tank top picture. That's the one. Whoa, bro, look at the size of that guy. And this guy was a. He was a cop who was a dirty cop who was killing drug dealers.

Yeah. I mean, maybe that was the plan. Be like, all right, we'll put him in here. It'll sound good if this guy kills him. Like, oh, man.

And then 18 days before he died, he complained that his cellmate tried to kill. What? Yeah.

See if we can find it. The different guy?

No, Epstein did.

No, I'm saying was he complaining about the murderous cop or is this a different guy? Yeah, that's crazy, dude. That's crazy. Also, how did he try to kill him and not kill him?

That's what I was just gonna say.

What the fuck you talking about? Epstein slipped away and just like sat in the corner.

I mean, maybe he screamed loud enough and the guards came.

Yeah, but they would just the night

Jeffrey Epstein claimed his cellmate tried to kill him. So he laid in a fetal position on the floor of his jail cell, unresponsive with an orange fabric news. Oh, this is when they found him.

Uh,

18 days before Epstein's death, he wasn't breathing, his eyes were opening. Oh, so this was when they found him. Oh, they, so they did find, they found him in the fetal position? Oh, no, that's with the orange fabric news. That's when they found him dead. Okay. 18 days before Epstein, no, okay. So it is saying that. So it's saying that he had an orange noose tied around his neck 18 days before he died. What? What?

What the.

What? So July 23rd, 2019, 18 days before Epstein's death, he wasn't breathing, his eyes opening and shutting occasionally, but he wouldn't or couldn't respond to officers questions and commands, according to a confidential Corrections officer's memo obtained by CBS News. They hoisted inmate 76318054 onto a stretcher. Officials have repeatedly said Epstein's eventual death by suicide was foreshadowed by this earlier alleged attempt. Former Attorney General Bill Barr reiterated that claim in an August closed-door deposition before the House Oversight Committee, which released the interview transcript last week. Barr, who did not reply to questions from CBS News, said in his testimony, he knew about the July 23rd incident, which he viewed as an attempted suicide. Barr said he considered it indicative of Epstein's state of mind. But jail staff memos, other never before reported documents obtained by CBS News as well as interviews with more than a dozen people who interacted with Epstein before and after the incident reveal a murkier picture than the one depicted by Barr. The new documents have surfaced amid persistent speculation over Epstein's death despite official conclusions that he died by suicide. So he's laying on the floor and his bunkie is screaming, I did nothing.

I banged on my door to get him out of my cell. The source said corruptions officers carried Epstein to a cell on a different floor as he remained unresponsive. Is it, was it the same, the same cop, the, the contract killer cop? Yep. Right. He told them he'd been attacked by his cellmate, an ex-cop who was awaiting trial on four murders.

But they're saying that was an attempted suicide.

Well, they tried to frame it as an attempted suicide. No, I would imagine he doesn't have a way to contact the outside world and just tweet about this. Yeah, right. He can't make an Instagram video. Hey guys, this guy's gonna fucking kill me. He sat up on the bed and began telling me that he thinks his bunkie tried to kill him. A responding officer wrote in one memo, a senior officer wrote in a separate incident report that Epstein initially implicated his cellmate in the incident, claiming he had previously said things that made Epstein feel threatened. So Nicholas Tartaglione, his cellmate, repeatedly disputed the initial allegation. I did nothing. And said he tried to revive, I tried to revive him. As with Epstein's eventual death, any camera footage of the incident was either mislaid, lost, or never captured by the facility's faulty system, rather. Tartaglione, has not responded to emailed questions from CBS News. How odd. His lawyer said Epstein's initial claim that Tartaglione tried to kill him was flatly not true. Well, okay.

So maybe he did try. I mean, you know, there's a chance he did try to kill himself and was like, I don't want to get.

And then his guy saved him. He said he saved him. So it says it right here. Scroll back up a little bit. Tartaglione said in a recent interview, that Epstein also left a suicide note, and it even offered Tartaglione money to kill him. What? Neither of those details, if true, are referenced in any of the Bureau of Prisons records that were reviewed by CBS News. So as you scroll up higher, it says, he said he saved his life the first time. So it's saying that he saved his life. He yelled when the guy, his attorney says this.

Yeah, yeah. He's saying he tried to kill himself once.

Yeah, but that's just his attorney saying that.

Yeah, for sure.

Epstein claimed to both corrections officers and the source that he felt threatened by Targi Leone, hulking retired cop turned drug dealer who was charged and later convicted for four murders. How could you take the most high profile defendant ever and put him in a cage with a murderer? Take that part. His bunkie told him that if he beat him up because of Epstein's child sex trafficking charges, the officers would not report it. Oh, that's what he told them. The wealthy, allegedly, the wealthy former financier told jail officers that he believed Tartaglione was trying to extort money from him and stated that if he didn't pay him that he was gonna beat him up. The officer wrote, he stated that this has been going on for a week.

Then that guy saying Epstein was trying to pay me to kill him for himself. You would've thought they could find a middle ground, man.

Well, someone's lying.

I know. That's the craziest. There's too many plot holes. There's no way.

Imagine like who's saying, I'll pay you to kill me.

Yeah. Also, it's like, wait, how are we gonna do that? How are we gonna work this all out?

Yeah, the guy's already in, well, that, and then what's he gonna do with the money?

Exactly.

How's he gonna get the money?

I guess you can give it, if you know somebody you love, you can give it to them, but.

Right, does he have money or does all of his money go to the victim's families? Like, he killed four people.

Shit, man, he might be right. Yeah.

So it'd have to be like an offshore account that gets slipped over to the prison so he could buy cigarettes.

If anyone can do it, if anyone can do it, it's Jeffrey Epstein, man.

But it would have to be worked out in advance. Like you would have to have the cigarettes in the commissary. All right, okay, time to kill you.

Dude, it's too, you know, I think it's just one of those things that I don't know if people can, you know, want to wrap their heads around it, but there's just people who do things in this world on behalf of, like, you know, old uber billionaires that were just never gonna know what's going on.

For sure.

They do horrible, terrible secret stuff.

And they always have.

Yeah.

This is the thing, if like you go throughout history, there's always been secret societies and people that get together with creepy meetings, all that eyes wide shut shit that that Kubert put in his film. That's not, he's not imagining that. No. That's always been a thing.

The officer that discovered his body dead in August was originally charged with falsifying documents related to his death, but those charges were dropped.

Hmm. I wonder what the falsifying of the documents was.

I don't know. I don't know. Who knows? Maybe people charged it to try to open up the paperwork or whatever.

Here it is. Because Epstein was on suicide watch after the July 23rd incident, Thomas was required to record a log of observations about Epstein in 15 minute increments. Those notations were released by the Bureau of Prisons in 2023 along with just one entry he made in the log, a note made at 2:15 a.m. 45 minutes after the incident. 15 minutes later at 2:30 Thomas wrote, Inmate sitting on bed trying to remember what happened. Huh.

Yeah, man.

So this is the when he got attacked, the first time that he survived.

Huh?

They claim once he got into the separate cell, he was trying to fall forward on his head or something, sat

on the edge of the bed and

began moving forward as if he was tempting to fall over head first. He was told to stop, don't do it again, and he gave a thumbs up. That's how they confirmed he was trying to commit suicide.

So he's gonna try to commit suicide by falling straight on his head?

That's impossible. That's literally impossible.

You might be able to pull it off.

That's crazy. You would block for sure.

Right.

There's no way you can just do a sail. I was thinking about this the other day. I was walking off my steps. I was like, even if I tried, I couldn't do a swan dive onto the cement. Your body wouldn't let you do it.

Yeah, you would resist just enough to be paralyzed for the rest of your life.

You would get fucked up for sure.

I don't know.

I think you would just kind of flatten out and flail.

Yeah, 'cause guys die all the time in street fights when they get knocked out and then they fall and they hit their head on the concrete. Dude, they die all the time.

It happened before I left Philly a year or so ago. There's a guy just walking down He was putting his dog off leash and this guy was like, put your dog on leash. They got into work. They, you know, they started arguing and a guy punched him and he hit us and died. And then my brother went on an online date with the fiance of the guy who died and like learned throughout the date, like, oh, shit, you're a lady.

He was a bummer of a date.

It was pretty fucking sad, actually. Oh, he like put it together. He's like, oh, fuck, he died. That sucks.

How long after that was the date?

I think it was maybe a year and a half. It's been some time, you know, enough

to stop the crying.

Yeah, I mean, you got to pick it up at one point, especially if you died like that, man. Got punched on a dog walk and died. I don't know.

If I was a walk with a

helmet and Joey, if I was a lady, I'd be like, oh, fuck, I dodged a bullet. Oh, God. Husband could have just died. Yeah, that's scary, though, man. That's, yeah, the whole thing of, like, altercations and people popping off to each other anymore is just like, I was walking down the street recently and, like, you know, I had the right away. I walked and, I didn't even like rush in front of the car. The car pulled up and was like, hit the fuck out. He threatened to shoot me in the face. I was just like, what the hell, man? Yeah, it was like he had pulled off far enough. He's like, I'll shoot you in your fucking face. And I was just like, please don't. Like, you know, the fuck, man. What are you doing, bro?

You never know who's unhinged.

I know.

You never know what's going on in that life. The divorce, fucking this, that just got fired, about to go to jail. Who knows?

Yeah.

Who knows, dude? Yeah, that's best friend was fucking your wife.

Could be literally anything. Yeah, it's like I never. It's like, yeah, whatever, man.

So many people are barely hanging on out there doing something all day. They hate. Yeah, just fucking tired. Life's in a shambles, dude.

I don't. And especially like, people just talk shit to strangers. Like, you have no idea who that person is. My. I don't know, you know, who knows if this is like, just like an old construction worker tale. My dad was telling me some guy he knows. His mom or whatever or like, you know, his friend's mom was at the grocery store someone back they like both going for a parking spot It's like an old lady and the guy was like fucking bitch get the hell out blah blah blah started cursing her out her son came out of jail for like, you know, like he was like a biker all this stuff and they all like knew each other in the neighborhood apparently the guy who had like cursed out the mom they were like nobody ever saw him again so if that's true, it's like gee, I always think about that. I'm like dude that's you know, you just can't be youe shouldn't yell at an old lady anyway, but You just have no idea who you're dealing with.

Right.

Just might as well chill.

That was one of the creepier things about the Epstein emails or the files, the data, was that he ordered 330 gallons of sulfuric acid after he'd been indicted.

What does that do?

Dissolves bodies. Oh, no. Yeah. So they were trying to speculate that maybe that was for his desalination system that he had. He had a water system. Some sulfuric acid cleans it out. But then Jamie looked into it. He had only ordered it once before, ever, but never that much.

Yeah, that's terrible. Also, he lives near the ocean. So why don't you just go in the ocean? Just get rid of bodies. You live on an island. You just go out to water.

Yeah, but they could find it.

Yeah, I guess so.

Yeah, they might find it. Yeah, you can't have that.

True. Especially if enough that we need a bunch of acid.

Do they have a lot of sharks down there?

I would think.

Yeah, like the Bahamas, right? It's like Bahamas area.

Yeah, I would think. There's like sharks in Florida. I was just in Florida.

Florida's a lot of sharks.

Yeah, exactly. I was swimming. I brought my friend with me to do shows and he was like, I'm worried about sharks. There's no fucking sharks out here. We got back and the Uber driver was like, yeah, this is like shark season right now. I was like, oh, my bad.

Shark season?

Yeah, I think it's the bull sharks. They see them all the time.

Bull sharks are scary. They're the ones that they think are responsible for the murders in New Jersey that inspired Jaws.

Really?

Yeah.

How big do they get?

They don't get as big as like great whites, but the thing about them is they could swim in fresh water. So those murders, those deaths by shark in New Jersey in like the early 1900s, they were in a river.

What?

Yeah. So these people were swimming in a river and they got killed by sharks.

Yeah, you would never expect it either.

Bull sharks are like very aggressive too.

Are they really?

Super aggressive. There's a Florida Keys, like guys fish off the piers down there, and it's really great fishing, but if you catch a big fish and you're struggling to get it on the line, most likely a shark's gonna kill it.

Really?

Yeah, most likely you're gonna get it bitten in half. There's like tons of videos of guys pulling in fish and the shark just snaps it in half while they're pulling it in.

That's terrifying.

They're all over the place down there.

I went to Turks and Caicos. Me and my family went down there. My kids, we went snorkeling. And the guy takes us out and he's like, Hey, we got in the area where we're going to jump in. He's like, Hey, there's some baby sharks out there. But they're not going to bother you.

I'm like, Fuck the fuck is that?

Exactly. And I have like, I've had fucking like two and a four year old with me. So I jump in. I'm like, Let me suss it out. I'm going to go see. Dude, I go down and these were like, they weren't like 18 foot sharks, but they were like five They were like big enough, but they were 40 it was like probably 40 feet deep and then they were like at the bottom But then another 50 feet away and I was like, bro, I'm not bringing my kids in here.

Yeah, I'm trying to find this video that my friend Adam sent me of Sharks in Florida Cuz I always give him shit. He lives in Australia and I always give him shit like bro you live in a place filled with monsters. The fuck are you doing? It's like it's true Florida's Florida has a lot but But Australia has more. Australia has saltwater crocodiles. They have great whites. But he sent me this video, and it's like, this is in America, mate. And these guys are throwing, God, I can't find it. These guys are throwing fish into the water, right? No, I'm not gonna find it. They're throwing fish into the water right next to the shore, and it's just sharks, like piranhas, just smashing. And they're off a dock.

Dude.

They're just throwing fish scraps in there. The fish the sharks are apparently used to it.

I guess that's terrifying.

Yeah, dude, I oh, here it is. I found it.

Nice.

Yeah, hold on. I'll send it to you, Jimmy.

Dude, dolphins, you ever see a dolphin in real life?

Yes.

They're scary as hell. Those things are huge.

I swam with them.

I did it too. I was in Mexico and I thought I was going to be like, you know, gliding on two of them. I was like barely wanting to touch this thing.

I did it in Hawaii. You jump off the boat and you snorkel and you get to see them swimming under. It's really wild. Check this out. So this guy throws these scraps in the water. Look at these. Damn. How crazy is that?

Look at these things fight for this.

Look how many of them there are.

Yeah, that's.

Bro, that's crazy.

Look how big they are.

Yeah. More than big enough to take your legs off.

Go ahead, dickwagon. Throw it in.

Go ahead, dickwagon.

Why? I'd be so mad if I was his neighbor. I'm like, dude, I'm trying to paddle board, man.

Well, I This is just what they do every day, which is why the sharks are there in the first place. I think when these guys get there, you know, when they filet the fish, they have the bodies. They just tuck the body overboard and these sharks just destroy it.

Yeah.

How spooky is that?

It's terrifying, dude.

Yeah. That's Florida.

That's crazy. Where's Marco Island?

I don't know. Where's Marco Island?

It's probably the key.

Probably.

That's fucking, that's awful.

Florida's filled with monsters. Like that whole thing that they're doing with ice where they've got that, Alligator Guantanamo. You know, they got a they got there they built a Guantanamo for detainees and then they surrounded it with alligator country.

Like a cartoon moat.

Yeah, yeah, that's crazy. Check this out. Okay, so where is it?

It's like opposite. It's of Miami on the.

Okay.

Okay. So it's not it's not the keys. It's just Florida. Crazy.

Damn. So they have like a classical moat with alligators around.

Well, it's not essentially a moat.

Was it an island, I guess?

How did they do it? Did they build an island down there? Is that what they did? Somebody got a sweet contract to put that in there. Alligator, Allibert. Yeah, they call it Alligator Alcatraz. What does it look like? Can you show us?

Damn, dude.

Alligators in Florida everywhere. They say there's not a standing body of water that doesn't have an alligator.

I know. My friends were just at Disney World and they said, they're like, Is there alligators around here? Like, yeah, we flush 'em out all the time.

One killed a kid a few years back.

I heard about that.

Yeah.

Reached up and just snagged him.

Bro, imagine your little toddler at Disneyland just saw Cinderella having a good time.

That's gotta be fast, that's fast pass for life though, for the family.

So that is all the Everglades. And the Everglades is just filled, like if you go walking, like, I'm out of here.

Fuck that.

Like, something's probably gonna get you.

No.

The Everglades are so fucked because it's not just the alligators, it's also the pythons. There's giant pythons. Fuck. AI is so ruthless.

That's fucking alligators. Dude, the pythons are another thing. Because they catch you while you're sleeping. So you lay down to sleep and you just wake up and you're just.

Are there more pythons in the Everglades than there are anywhere in the world?

No.

Because there's a half a million of them, they think.

Did you ever hear about Snake Island in Brazil?

No.

Dude, there's an island in Brazil that I guess like whatever tectonic plates or whatever moved. It used to be connected to the mainland. It went out and all the snakes just got stuck on there with no natural predators. So they do they just eat each other? Yeah, they just fight and eat each other and there's dude There's apparently a snake like every meter you move. There's at least one snake what I dude the images are fuck are terrified. They're like just piled on top of

each other There are not more pythons in the Everglades than anywhere else the Burmese pythons native range in Southeast Asia from India Indonesia supports far larger wild populations though exact numbers are hard to quantify due to their vast habitat Everglades context, Burmese pythons are invasive species. Florida Everglades with estimates ranging from tens of thousands to 300,000 individuals across southern Florida concentrated in Everglades National Park where their density is notably high. Population exploded from a few snakes in the 90s to enveloping much of the region by the 2020s driven by the release from pet trade and events like Hurricane Andrew. Yeah, they had Hurricane Andrew apparently blew down a facility where they were studying pythons.

No. And that's how they got out.

A bunch of them got out. And then there's also people with pets, just assholes and death metal bands.

Yeah, they just dropped them.

Yeah, they just dropped them.

Well, that's how we, there's, what do you call it, parakeets here? They're like, they're an invasive species and they think that happened too. Someone just let their parakeet go. Now they're a problem here.

That's iguanas in Florida too.

Yeah.

You know, they sell candy guana meat in Florida now.

Really?

Yeah, buddy of mine lives in Florida. He just sent me this. He sent me, he was at the supermarket and they have iguana meat.

Probably not bad. Dude, I'm telling you, the snake island, I was like, I thought it was fake. My wife was telling me about it. I'm like, dude, you got tricked. This has to be AI. I looked it up and it's like, it's a real thing. Let me see that iguana meat.

Yeah, I'm saying it's real.

I would eat it. It would probably be good. I've eaten gator before. Gator is not bad.

This might be fake. I think it is.

God damn it.

I'm Googling it. Pizza restaurant that got in trouble for serving it.

Really?

But nothing else is popping up about candy.

They got in trouble for serving it. Did they tell people they were serving it? You know, because people eat them. They hunt them and eat them all the time. I was watching a YouTube video the other day where this guy was making, like, stir-fried iguana meat.

Well, they get massive. They get massive.

Yeah. Yeah. And they apparently taste good.

Probably. They're aggressive, too. If you see them in the wild, they'll, like, charge after you. They're nasty, man.

They're big.

Yeah, they're so pretty.

You get like four or five feet long.

They're, yeah, they're huge.

That was nuts.

That was another animal I encountered in Turks and Caicos. We did the shark swimming and I was like, all right, I let them get out of the way and then we went to this island that was just full of iguanas and they'll just run up on you.

Do you know in Florida when it gets really cold they just fall out of trees? No.

That's hilarious.

Because sometimes Florida it'll dip. It'll get into the 30s and these fuckers just fall out of the trees. They stoned.

They just freeze and just freeze and

then they thaw out and come back to life.

What?

Yeah, fuck that's an ancient species like these are ancient creatures damn, so they

I thought they I thought they need the like they're cold-blooded and they die so they can just I guess they can just chill and like so are

alligators and alligators freeze in lakes sometimes with their mouths above the water They have their nose and their eyes above the water and they just they're frozen. There's a bunch of images of these guys Frozen in lakes.

I guess everything just slows down and they just chill.

They don't have to eat for a year.

What?

Yeah, they can go without eating for a whole year.

So how much do you think we really have to eat? If alligators, if bears don't have to eat all winter, alligators can go one year. Like, do you think we're, I always think like, do we have to eat every day?

Well, we definitely eat more than any people have ever have. That's true. Except like royals.

Yeah.

You know, that's why people are so tiny. Like, you go back to like the Civil War, the average man was like 130 pounds.

Yeah, that makes sense.

Yeah, 'cause nobody had any food. You know, nobody had any protein.

Yeah.

But if you think about, like, how much we eat morning, noon, and then evening, hunter-gatherers, they got a meal a day.

Yeah.

You know, like, if you got lucky, you had a meal and you ate as much as you could because there's no way to preserve it. And then you went out the next day and hoped you got another animal.

Yeah, that's kind of wild. You must have spent, like, 6,000 calories a day just trying to get one meal.

Yeah, and then other than, like, drying your meat out, there's no way to preserve it. So they would make jerky or you know, like, I know in Mexico, some friends of mine went down there, and they have this traditional way of taking Buffalo, and they slice it, like, really, really thin. And then they hang it on, like, a clothes hanger and dry it out.

Really? That's all they need to do.

Well, that's what they had to do. They had to figure out how to dry stuff.

Yeah.

You know, there's no how hard life must have been with no Refrigeration, dude.

It sucks so bad.

Sucks so bad, man. I mean, that's like when you go back to the turn of the century, all the diseases were happening in America. Just think about it. No running water. Everybody's like shitting in holes in the ground outside the houses. There's no ventilation. There's no air conditioning.

Oh, yeah.

No vitamins.

Especially here. How do people live in Texas? I've been reading, it must have been crazy.

Hard people.

Yeah.

Hard fucking people.

I've been reading Western, I'm reading Lonesome Dove right now. It's like an old classic Western And they just talk about how hot they are all day long. It's just dust in their face. And it's like, dude, that shit would

suck, especially if you don't live near a lake. So you can cool off a little.

Yeah. Oh, no, there's like, yeah, they have like a spring house. And every time they gotta get water, there's just rattlesnakes everywhere near the spring house. It's like, dude, that sucks so bad.

There's a great book about Texas called Empire of the Summer Moon.

Oh, I've heard of that before.

About the settlers encountering the Comanche. You got to think like if the Comanche if this is where they lived and they lived here year-round like they had to be the hardest fucking people in the world.

Yeah, dude that would be brutal just

had to be fucking just tough as

fuck especially when it gets like freezing too They have like that two weeks where it's super cold and yeah, that

would be you never know when it's coming back then either you couldn't prepare like Texas like right now. It's 80 two weeks ago. It was 30 before that it was 20 before that it was 70 like it's you don't know when it's coming

No, you have, I've been here for two years and I know we're gonna get like a solid collective week of real winter and the rest of it's just like 50, 60, 70, 80, 20, 40.

Yeah, it's kind of, it's worth it. I think it's perfect because it gives you just enough cold so you appreciate the warm, just enough, but nothing like where you want to kill yourself.

Yeah, I agree.

Nothing like there's, you know, Montana winters and Wyoming winters where they last like seven months. You're like, I don't know if I want to do this.

Dude, even regular East Coast winter, I couldn't handle it. By the time I had left, like you don't feel the sun for like at least three months. And I remember spring it would finally like come out and it's like that messes me up. Like I need I'd rather it be super hot and sunny than be cold.

Yeah.

But you can just like you know just figure jump in a lake, jump in a pool. You can go.

You know that's what flu season is all about too. What? It's not like the flu emerges in the winter. It's just everybody's immune system is low. No one has any vitamin D. That is a buddy of mine who was a doctor said that he would do tests on people in New York City and he said so many people would come into his practice that had undetectable levels of vitamin D. Vitamin D. What? Yeah. Because they weren't supplementing at all. Yeah. And they were wearing winter clothes and they were never outside and everybody's sick and they don't know why. Well, you're vitamin D depleted.

Yeah.

That's why in Seattle, they have a lot of people go in tanning beds and they try to, like, do something.

Oh, just get people.

Because tanning beds will give you a natural dose of vitamin D. That's kind of nice. Yeah.

Apparently it's, isn't it, like, a hormone more than a vitamin? So, yeah, so I heard it's, like, not even just, like, you know, vitamin A or B or C. It's, like, something you absolutely Mm-. Big time.

Yeah, a lot of people are saying you should hyperdose it too, because the USDA recommended is like 5,000 milligrams. A lot of people are saying like 30,000 is what they take every day.

Yeah, I had to do that for a while because I had low vitamin D and they were like, you can take as much of this as you want. I'm like such a baby with medicine. I'm like super sensitive to it. It did absolutely no side effects at all.

No, it doesn't have side effects. But for full absorption, I think you're supposed to take it with a bunch of other stuff. I think the recommended is I take it with K2, vitamin K2 and magnesium. I think there might be one other thing that also helps absorption, but like Dr. Rhonda Patrick was on a podcast recently and she was talking about how vitamin D, someone was taking vitamin D but they weren't showing any improvement. She's like, where are you taking it with magnesium? So magnesium apparently helps vitamin D get absorbed in your body. There's a bunch of those things that like works, like if you take them without any fat or any food, they're not good. Yeah, then like amino acids you have to take them on an empty stomach It's like you gotta know what you're doing that's true.

Yeah, I have like a paste It's like a goop that's like fatty and I just put on a spoon.

What is it? Just vitamin D?

It's vitamin D. It's like a liposomal

thing oh, you put it on a spoon.

Yeah, I see I just eyeball it. My God, that's probably about right I

wonder if like liposomal and absorbs easier Hmm, isn't that the whole idea about it?

It's paired to a fat and a

kind of you know, right? I wonder if that you don't need as much like or you don't need vitamin D or K2 rather Well, I

don't know, but I was low and then I'm not now. So, I'm like, maybe it worked, maybe it was the fact that I was outside, I don't know.

I'm sure it works.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's just like, does it work optimally? That's the thing.

Yeah.

It's like just taking it alone, it's definitely going to be better than not taking it at all, but they think that for maximum absorption. What are the things that you should take with vitamin D for put that in perpetually? The things you take with vitamin D for maximum absorption. It's hard to remember all this stuff too. That's part of the problem. Like, I'll hear it on a podcast. I'm like, yeah, yeah, go back home. What the fuck did Andrew Huberman say?

You know, I remember, I heard, Huberman had this thing about cortisol. He's like, you need to spike your cortisol early in the morning. Which, you know, if I get up and exercise in the morning, like, yeah, that seems true because I feel good. But then I was like, I can't have caffeine anymore. I had to get off completely.

Really?

Dude, I have, I can't have it. I'm like super sensitive to it. I had a cup of coffee. What time is it right now? If I had a cup of coffee now at two o'clock, I would not sleep till midnight.

Is that because you don't drink much of it or is it.

I don't metabolize it. Oh, that's my mom. My dad can drink coffee and fall asleep. But if my mom has coffee, she's. It just. It, like, you have it. I can feel it just in my body for hours and I. It's just like a Non-Stop cord. Like, I love caffeine. The mental effects, my body just can't stand it.

Have you ever tried nutri. Tropics, like Theanine.

I've done it all. Theanine.

Acetylcholine.

I'm not acetylcholine, but I've taken L-theanine with it, which helped a little bit, but then I'll just drink more coffee

because I don't mean with coffee. I mean by itself as like a little bit of a pick me up.

Oh yeah. No, I like, yeah, I take L-theanine before I go to sleep. I think it kind of helps me sleep.

Yeah, I hear that too, which is interesting because it helps with your memory. Like how does it help with your memory and also help you go to sleep?

I don't know.

Here it says vitamin D is a fat soluble nutrient, so pairing it with dietary fat maximizes its absorption in the gut. Take vitamin D supplements with a meal containing fats for optimal uptake. Studies show you can boost serum levels by about 50%. Foods like fatty fish, avocados, olive oil, nuts, seeds or full fat yogurt provide these fats effectively. Supportive nutrients, magnesium, aids in converting vitamin D to its active form and transporting it in the body. Vitamin K2 works synergistically to direct calcium to bones, enhancing benefits for bone health. Omega-3 fatty acids from fish oil also improve absorption alongside fat. All right, so that's it. So vitamin D should take with magnesium and K2 and probably some fish oil.

Nice.

There you go.

I was eating it after breakfast, though. There we go. Yeah, getting my fats. Yeah, but yeah, the caffeine for me, I can't like, you know, everyone's different, but I can't have it.

I could drink two double espresso and go to sleep.

That's crazy. So here's my thing, too. I stopped was I didn't start really drinking caffeine all the time until I had kids, but I like, I don't have dreams at night. If I drink even coffee during like the day, day. No dreams at night.

Really?

If. I don't know what it is, man. I'm super, super sensitive to it.

Well, a lot of people that stops smoking weed say that they get wild, crazy dreams.

That happens, too. That kind of blocks your dreams, too.

Yeah.

But even that, like, I don't know, I smoked weed forever and, like, I would still kind of have dreams, but it's. The caffeine just, like, completely neutralizes them. And then they say that it's, like, anecdotal, but they say that caffeine, there's anecdotal evidence that it. Of, what is it? Like, discourages or, you know, whatever it does to your brain. You don't do as much Divergent thinking. It's more like convergent where, like, if you need to get, like, a task, like, all right, I need to edit something. Caffeine's great. But if you're like, I need to come up with a story idea. There's, like, anecdotal evidence that says, like, people who are on caffeine report that it, like, messes up their ability to, like, just kind of, like, you know, come up with, like, new or novel ideas.

That makes sense.

Yeah.

Because you're just hyper focused on the one thing that you're doing.

Yeah.

Like a low dose.

Yeah, pretty much.

Yeah. My friends that have dated girls that have had problems with amphetamines, one of the things they say is they know when they're on it because then they start cleaning the house. They start cleaning everything.

Yeah.

They start getting hyper focused on organizing and cleaning. That sounds like a good drug.

Yeah. What's the back? It's probably a spaz though. That's probably the backlash.

Well, it's probably they're doing it for 12 hours while they're listening to Slayer.

You're not even talking about Adderall. This is them doing like crystal meth

or saying I don't know who's saying amphetamines. I would assume it's like meth.

Yeah, amphetamine babe would be not ideal. I don't think well, I've talked to

people that have done math and they say you feel like you're fucking Superman, but you also like want to get things done.

Really? Yeah, that's I've heard that a similar thing about crack where you feel like a genius you smoke crack apparently you're just like dude like Why would I have a refrigerator? I can sell it right now and I can just order out to and like apparently you're just like the smartest person in your head in the world, right? And then you just like it all crashes every 30 minutes.

It's like free base cocaine is what all it is. Yeah, like what Richard Pryor was doing back in the day that was just before crack. Yeah, it was free basing cocaine.

Yeah, it's weird too because I think it just like Coke I think just floods your brain a lot of things just flood your brain with dopamine.

Yeah, but the delivery method apparently of crack is superior There's something about smoking it where it just goes right to your head. Well, I know this from Hunter Biden. Because Hunter Biden was, he was on that Channel 5 show when he was talking about it. It's fucking, he was so descriptive of it. It almost made you want to try crack. It was almost like, it was like a romantic tale of like a bad romance that he had to get out of.

It is a very genuinely way to say, it's a superior delivery mechanism.

Well, he's very smart, right? Yeah. So he's very articulate. He's talking about like what it was like to smoke crack. Yeah, it's like holy shit man and

I wonder I guess I guess he's off of it cuz I guess like you know, yeah, if you start it again, it's probably just another well, there

was that baggie they found at the White House, but First of all, it might have been his but also you think he's the only one of those people doing coke?

Yeah, I was about to say that

could be anybody listen There's probably a lot of those folks that need a little pick-me-up sometimes for a meeting before a They have to do a press thing or oh, dude, you're working 16 hours a day, a little tired. Whoo!

Big time. Let's go. I used to work at a real estate company when I was in college. Just like, you know, they would like buy apartment buildings and dude, all the senior management were like, they used to buy Adderall off me. They would just chomp fucking Adderall, come in and just be like, they would do sales meetings and just be like, yeah.

A friend of mine is a journalist who says that all these journalists are on Adderall.

Yeah, I believe it.

It says it makes you productive. They're all doing it. Some of them are super open about it. Like Dave Portnoy, when he was in here, he was telling us, what did he say? He took 30 milligrams? I don't remember, but yeah. It was enough that I was like, Yo, and then I had to go to Jamie. How much is that? And Jamie was like, A lot. 30s?

Yeah, 30s. That would get you.

But not a lot if you do it a lot, right?

Yeah, you get it.

That's the thing. It's like if you're doing edibles with Joey Diaz, like, how much should I take? Take two cocksucker. Like, what? Take two. How much do you take?

Yeah, that would definitely, I mean, I feel like I can't get a tolerance to eat edibles. They just knock me out every time.

Jamie can just eat them and they don't do anything to them.

That's crazy. I know people like that too. They're like, I need like 200 milligrams to feel it. I'm like, I'm psychotic. At 200 milligrams, I'm fried.

It's a lot. Yeah, 200 is a lot.

I used to have these lollipops that were 200 milligrams, so I would try to gage it. Like, I don't want to eat too much of it. And it would just, I would get fucking whacked all the time.

We went over how many people are on Adderall once, like the number of Adderall prescriptions in a year. It was something bonkers. It was like 39 million Adderall prescriptions in this country. But then you have to go, how many people is that? Because you refill your prescription. So how often do you refill it? How many times a year? You know what I mean?

I think it's more than 39. If that's the case, I feel like there's 39 million subscribers to Adderall.

Well, there's definitely people that are getting it. It other ways.

For sure.

For sure.

Yeah. You get your script and you sell it, but it's like.

So there are three times that you're getting it illegally.

Yeah.

You know, you're getting illegal good and bad. You're, you know, getting cartel stuff, like pressed and stuff. Yeah. Like they, they can make a Valium that looks just like a Valium.

Yeah.

There's fentanyl in it. Yeah.

True. No, that's, that's a, that, like the pill world is they're, like, completely riddled with that right now.

Oh, it's scary, man, because kids are taking the There was a kid from a local high school around here that I read a story. He took an Adderall, he thought it was an Adderall, and it had fentanyl in it. He died. Got it from one of his friends. He was just trying to cram for studies.

Yeah, that's why I always tell people, anyone I know who does coke, I'm always like, you gotta stop, man. They're like, nah, we'll test it. It's like, no, you're not. You're gonna be at a bar, you're gonna be hammered, you're gonna buy coke and shove it up your nose. I'm gonna stop and be like, let me see.

I've never done it. But all my friends who've done it have all said the same thing. Don't do it.

I've never done it either. I've never had any interest. But it's like, every time I'm around people on it, I'm just like, dude, this sucks. Maybe they're having fun, but it's like--

They want to sell you Bitcoin.

They want to go into business now. Everybody does.

They get super hyped about a project they want to bring you in.

Well, that's what I think. I guess that's the way it was explained to me. You just feel like you've accomplished something major. So you're just like, snore coke, and you're like, I am the best ever. I don't know.

I just, yeah. Joey Diaz used to say that you can't go on stage with that.

Yeah, I can see that.

That's the worst. He goes, yo, I'm no feeling. You don't feel for the crowd.

Yeah. That's how I feel about, I can't drink and go on stage. Cause I'll just, I'm way too confident. If something doesn't land, I'm like, fucking whatever, pussy. Like, I just don't, I don't care and I just do so bad. Yeah.

Yeah, it's a weird fine dance that people do with substances and performance. Especially if you're doing like a speed or something. You can get it wrong.

I would imagine.

Yeah, you can get your balance wrong.

I've heard Adderall does not mix with comedy at all.

That's what I've heard.

I've heard that people like it's you're just, it's like a weird part of your brain where you're just too lasered in.

I've heard people like to use it for writing, though, which I think is weird.

I guess. Yeah, I don't know.

I know they use it for writing books. I don't know if it would be the same for writing comedy. Because you know you're talking about like coming up with ideas. You'd imagine that would be, The coffee thing on steroids.

Yeah. For me, for writing, I like to write. I write books. I like to do other stuff. Writing stand-up is more like it has to just pop into my head. Then I go like, oh, that would be funny. And then if I start fleshing it out, new ideas come. But I've tried to stand-up write and it never, very rarely do I get anything that works when I do that.

Yeah, me too. But what I do is I write essays. I just like essays on a subject. And then from that, I'll extract little things.

That's a good idea.

And then I take that little thing and I say, How do I introduce this thing? And what would be funny about this thing and how would I lead into this? And what are the other surrounding things that would go with this?

No, that's a good way to do it. I have to trick myself into being like I'm memorizing my material, so I just bullet point it and then I get bored and my mind wanders. I'm like, that would actually be pretty funny.

Right, and then you start rambling. Yeah, that's the thing about the essay, that if you just sit down and write about a subject, whatever that subject is, that you just start thinking about all the different aspects of that subject instead of thinking how to write in comedy form.

Yeah. No, that's a smart idea. Because yeah, if I try to write it, then like you try to repeat it, but you wrote it down so that it sounds like a written thing

and it's like-- But even that in the essay way, it's a brutal process because then you have to take that one sentence or that one paragraph in a thousand words. And then figure out a way to introduce that where it's not clunky. And then figure out what's the funniest part about it. And it's like, you have to always know that the first time you bring it out there, it's gonna suck. And you have to just slowly but surely trust it to get better and just throw it into the fire every night. You have your bits that you know are gonna kill, and you're like, I don't wanna trot that one out here.

I know, that is the, it kind of is the funnest part though to me, like when I moved here, I had just, I think, I think I had just put out an hour or like recorded. So I had no, I had to like start with like new material, which sucks. You move somewhere, you have new stuff. You're like, dude, I have only new shit. It's a bad feeling, but it's like, it's exciting because you're like, you don't know of how it's gonna go every night. I don't know. I like, I like that.

I think it's good. I think it's like, we were talking the other day about loss, about failure. Like, I was talking with Michael Malice about bombing on stage. I think bombing is good because what happens if you bomb that feeling, you feel terrible the next day. The next day, you feel terrible that night, and then you're like, I gotta fucking get back on stage and really like tighten up my shit. And I always have in the past made big leaps after I bombed. I'm like, I think it's important. Like failure is important. It sucks, you don't like it, but you gotta go through that. Like maybe you got overconfident, or maybe you were in a bad mood, or maybe it was like whatever.

Yeah, no, it helps. That's what like motivates me to write stand up. If I bomb, I'm like, all right, now let me, let me like dial it in. Cause I have like, I'm always doing a bunch of stuff and like, I'm like, oh, I got a show and I like, you know, organize kind of against the gun. But yeah, a good, a bomb really is like a clarifying, it's good for you, honestly.

Yes, it could have a bomb. Well, I used to say that to fighters too. You lose a fight, it's good. As long as you didn't really hurt. It's good because you like that feeling. Go home with that feeling and think about all the stones that you left unturned, all the times we skipped road work All the times you skip strength and conditioning, all the times you're half-assing it in the gym, that guy didn't do that. He just beat you. Now you know. You have to understand that there's levels to these levels to dedication, there's levels to competency, and a good loss is good for you.

Yeah, and kind of like, again, if you have your tried and true and you're just going on stage, oh, it's working night after night, you just go home, you're like, oh, whatever. But yeah, when you bomb, for me, it does something in my brain where I go, My thoughts start flying, you know, whatever that is just helps me get stuff out there.

Well, when I lived in Boston, one of the things that was a real problem was there were these local headliners that had these fucking acts, man. They had 45 minutes of like hammered samurai sword. It was so good because they had been doing that 45 minutes for a decade and a half.

Crazy, dude.

It was so good. Their timing was so good. The pacing was so good. They would crush every night. Night. But after a while, they never added anything new to it. And these guys just like a buddy of mine went to see a Boston headliner that we knew from like FitzSimmons. Went to see a Boston headliner that we knew from the 80s. And he goes, dude, he was doing the same material. He goes, it was so sad. He goes, he was just phoning it in. It was barely getting a response from the audience. It was like dated references. 'Cause this guy just had an act and he like a fucking guy who shows up at the office, he would open up a suitcase, pull his act out. That was his act.

Those guys are always fascinating 'cause when you're like, you know, I started in Philly and like, so like the only the first like paid gigs you get as an open mic-er are like, you do like moose lodges and shit for like 50 bucks and it's always one of those like wacko headliners.

Who's been around for 30 years.

He's doing it forever. He's giving you the career talk in between the show. There's like, I would get like comedy magicians all the time. Oh, yeah, dude it was like yeah, those those guys would always kind of freak me out like I would open for guys that would talk about like floppy disks in like the 2000s and I'd be like, bro, what are you doing man? Like we don't have CDs anymore? You know, this guy talked about porn on a floppy disk on stage. Dude, it was fucking Screech.

RIP.

It was Screech.

Screech. RIP.

I opened for Screech back in the day and I was like, fuck, yes, this is gonna be awesome.

He was he was killing it in the comedy club. He was like one of the first people to go from being on a sitcom to touring on the road.

Yeah, I caught late Screech though.

Skippy. Remember Skippy from Family Ma-- was it Family Matters? Is that was his name? What was it from? What was the show? Skippy. He was another guy who was on a sitcom.

Was he on-- not step by step.

I don't remember.

But he, if I remember the same

thing, just took off. Hollywood didn't work out for him.

Family ties.

Family ties.

With Michael J. Fox?

Yeah.

Yeah, so that guy was headlining comedy clubs all over the place.

This was like a bar in Delaware. This was not a glamorous gig.

Whoa.

It was bad. This was, I graduated college in 2009. It would have been like 2012, maybe. So this was like late Screech. And the whole time he's on stage, people go, Screech! And he would just, it fucking made him so mad. But I remember it was a funny show because I, it was supposed to be a lady. It was supposed to host. I was going to feature. It's going to be Screech as a headliner. And the guy who owned the venue just bet, like, wanted to fuck this lady so bad that he was like, hey, I'm letting that lady feature. You're going to host. And he was like, I'll pay you the same price. I was like, yeah, whatever. I don't give a shit. So he paid me. And I had been, you know, I've been doing standup for a couple years, so I was, like, kind of sharp, you know, especially for, like, that bar show. And this lady, I, I, he, she had never done standup. Before. This was her first time. This guy fucked her over. He thought he was doing something nice for her. She sat there for all the 20 minutes and read out of a giant notebook and just fucking bought like completely and horrific, like a first time stand-up doing 20 minutes completely bombed.

Screech was in the back with me and he's like, the fuck is this? I remember he was like bragging being like, dude, they gave me eight grand. I don't give a fuck about the show.

I knew a few guys who their girlfriends started doing comedy and then their girlfriends started opening for for them, and it was just wild for her sake.

You can't do that. No, it's such a bad idea.

It's so crazy. And these guys were like competent headliners, so the people were coming to see them. They're excited.

Hey, we're gonna go laugh.

We're gonna go laugh. Have a good time. Nope.

No.

You're gonna get tortured for 20 minutes before you get to laugh.

Also, that's not gonna help him either. She's gonna be furious. Like, it's. I don't know why people do that.

Well, they want to do it. Like, help me. Help me. That's one thing that happens a lot with comedy couples. Like, one of the couples will help the other one, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, writing is one thing, but like,

and it's, but that's why they want to do it. It's like they want to hook up with a headliner, whether it's a guy or a girl.

Yeah.

You hook up with a headliner, he or she helps you with your act, and then you go back and, you

know, it's also impossible, though, because if you're dating a comic and then you book your own opener, you can't be like, ah, next time I got you next time. You have to flat out be like, no, I'm not, you're not doing this.

Right. And then you break up. Wake up.

Yeah. But if you really care about their comedy, you'd be like, bro, you gotta go to the open mics and, you know.

Yeah, doing it in front of a sold out show when you're just starting out is a crazy idea.

I couldn't imagine. I literally couldn't imagine. It would have messed me up.

Well, that's why I killed Tony so nuts.

Yeah.

Like, there are people who have gone on for their first time ever in Madison Square Garden to a sold out arena of 16,000 people.

And then it's filmed for what, like a couple million people?

Millions of people, you're out there eating dick.

That must feel crazy waking up the next morning.

Yeah, just like if you go to sleep. Let's imagine that you can go to sleep. If I flub a word, I don't go to sleep. They can go to sleep after that.

Yeah, you're essentially filming a one minute special the first time.

The first time you do it on Netflix. God damn. Or on YouTube. I mean, both of them are getting fucking millions of views.

I know, dude, I'd be so scared to do that. People who can do that, I'm like, that's amazing. Go out there and do crazy. That's actually true.

Some of the people, when you're interviewing them after they do this set, like, I go, is this guy been screened? Do we need to make sure he doesn't have a fucking knife on him?

They do need that airport fucking thing. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, 100%. Some of these people are out of their fucking mind.

I always wanted to hang in the bar, right? Like the holding tank where everyone is, because that's gotta be the craziest. Craziest vibe in there.

Well, you remember Open Mic Nights?

Yeah, true.

Open Mic Night at the Comedy Store in particular was always so nuts.

Yeah.

It was just a complete lunatic asylum. For real, this dude. There's this one guy, Robert William Aperavia, and he would come there every week. He was a really nice guy. And all of his act was about marijuana. And he, at one point in time, was a lawyer. And then, I guess, blew a fuse. And then just was doing comedy, but he would walk from downtown. He lived in a flop house in downtown, and it would take him hours. He would walk from downtown to the comedy store, and when it rained out, the way he would deal with the rain is he would take plastic grocery bags and tuck them inside of all of his clothing, so he'd wrap them around his body. So he had his clothing on the outside, and these plastic bags, all over his body.

That's so fucking funny. The clothes were on the outside?

Yeah.

So he let his clothes get wet, but his body would be dry?

Well, he couldn't figure out how to put it all outside of him.

Okay.

So his solution was just cover his skin and keep him from getting wet and cold, which I guess would work. It'd probably keep you sweaty, too.

Yeah, you'd sweat, yeah.

Yeah. So he was like a staple, and he would go there every night, late at night, and he would be like one of the last guys up at open mic night every week. Weak. Whoa.

Yeah.

And just was insane. Like, you couldn't. You couldn't shake your hand. You couldn't touch him. He was always nervous that everybody hated him, and so he'd, like, be scared. And I became friends with him, so he was cool with me. I talked to him, but, like, one time, I tried to give him Knuckles, and my guy. Sorry. I forgot.

He just wouldn't.

Yeah, he would, like, like, Mumble and look at the ground, like, sorry.

Yeah.

He was legitimately cooked.

Yeah.

Whatever. Whatever was going on. Yeah, but he was. And he just blew a fuse.

Jesus Christ.

It happens.

Yeah, it does. No, there's. You forget, like, well, at least I did, because I, you know, doing the open mics, it's like, it is like a complete freak Factory.

A freak.

But you're like, it's steeped in that so much for years. And then I remember, like, when I finally stopped going to open mics all the time, I was still in Philly, and I, like, just took a break from the open mics. I would go do shows, and I was like, let me go to the open mic. It'd been, like, six months, and I was like, I'll go to one, try stuff. I like got in you know I'm sitting behind the area I was in like Philly helium just sitting there at the open mic and I just got like right away guys like dude looking at me fucking so that's it was just like all these people like oh, this was like the worst environment you can possibly be in yeah, it was just everyone's like this guy's a fucking piece of shit. I hate this guy and everyone's so fucking angry and just everyone's so charged on adrenaline all the time They're also

like on the outside of this thing that they want to do this dream and they get to try Like a regular person with no training, no schooling, no nothing, you get to stand on that stage with a microphone. I went down a rabbit hole the other night and I was watching Open Mic Nights from Long Island.

Oh fuck dude.

It was so crazy.

That would be fun though.

It's so crazy watching someone that definitely shouldn't be doing comedy that's trying comedy for the first time. And I was, you know, it was one of those dumb things. It was like midnight, like, well, let me see.

And they have them films.

There's all kinds of stuff. Basically, you find anything online. And I started watching. I can only watch for so long that I get anxiety, and then I have to shut it off.

That was like when you do open mics, and you finally do a showcase, you invite your friends or your family to watch, and they're just like, what the fuck are you doing? Who are these people? You're like, They're my friends.

I brought some of my friends the first time I ever went on stage. I didn't want to do it by myself.

That was the opposite. I didn't want anyone to see me for a long time. Yeah. And I did a show one time, 'cause I have a big family. So I did a show and there's this place, a Raven Lounge in Philly. It was like awesome, like when we started. Tiny little black box thing in the top of a bar. It fit maybe like 25 people. And I have a big family, so I finally was like, All right, I'm gonna invite my family out. Dude, I remember I was on stage and I knew like 17 out of the 25 people and I was like, Dude, fucking kill me right now. This sucks.

They're staring at you like this.

I just saw my aunt in the front. It's like looking at me and I was like, no.

Watching you choke. Watching you bomb. Oh.

For them, they were the audience. I'm like, fuck.

But that's, you know, the only way. It's like, I know some people that have taken comedy classes and then that has kind of got them into stand-up. Yeah, that's, this is a function of comedy classes. And that function is like it gets you to try I don't think anybody, maybe there's a few people out there that are like legit comics that are teaching them, but for the most part not.

So we had a comedy class at Helium. The thing was if you took the comedy class to let you in the comedy class's contest, then you can compete with the other people in the class. And if you won that, you got the hosting gig at Helium.

Ooh.

And it was a sweet deal, but it was so hard to get into Helium. So I had done stand-up for a while, a while, I took time off, and I got back into it. I was like, it. I'm taking that comedy class. I'm gonna try to fast track myself into host. So I won the comedy class contest, and. And then I got into Philly's funniest. When I won Philly's funniest, I got, you know, they're like, the improv theater across the street was like, we'll let you host a comedy class, and we'll give you, like, 35 bucks an hour. Dude, I had, like, no health care. I had nothing. I was like, absolutely, let's do it. So I I had a comedy class, and they showed up, and. I was like, all right, never take a comedy class ever again. I was like, don't ever do this ever again. This is so dumb you guys did this, but we're just gonna run this as an open mic. And I was like, get up there. And I had them all go up and just do like five, you know, it just, it was just an open mic.

Well, that will work.

Yeah, that's what I tried to tell them. Yeah, that's what I tried to tell them. But I, the one I was at was like real sketchy, man. It was very much like, I'm about to blow up. I'm taking you guys with me. This is how it's done. And you get out of it and you go, this motherfucker, bro. Like, I got deals in development, blah, blah, blah.

There's so many of those guys.

I got blacklisted from Helium because they found out I had a comedy class, which was even a-- it was a fake comedy class. I just wanted the money for it.

And-- Did you try to tell them?

Yeah, I told the owner. I was like, bro, what are you doing? He's like, look, man, just chill. And I was like, can I do the open mic still? He's like, you can do the open mic. And the guy found out I was on the open mic, and they booted me off that for like a month.

Oh my God.

He was out for blood. And I called him like, what the fuck? 'Cause I knew this guy. I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? He's like, well, I didn't call them. I'm like, okay, man. You know, it was like-- it was

a big thing, but-- well, there was talk when they were-- the same people own Cap City. City here. Now, there was talk that if you headlined there, you couldn't do my club for three months.

It's crazy.

And I was like, come on, guys. Why? I go, I I said to him, I'm like, I'll, if you, if one of my friends is at your club, I'm like, I'll tweet about it. Like, I don't, I don't want this to be competition. There's plenty of comedians and there's plenty of audience members for everybody. That's silly.

Also, everyone's gonna be fine. I just, yeah, that, that's such, that's insane.

Crazy.

Yeah, I don't like that young guy

coming up, you banning him from the club, because he's hosting a comedy class for money.

Yeah, it was, it was kind of, it was nonsense. Now, you know, now we're talking.

Comedy class is probably going to lead more people to your club. Like, it's all feeds off of itself.

I know. And it was literally like, well, you know, maybe the word got out that I was like, never take a comedy class ever again.

Why did Philly have a guy? Did Peelian have a class?

That was the class I took. I took a class at Peelian. Oh, right.

Oh, wow.

Because I wanted to fast track myself to the host. Otherwise you had to do Philly's funniest.

Yeah.

So I was like, I completely gamed it. And I was like it. Cuz these were like, people have never done it before. I done it for years. So I just went and did the class so I could do the contest.

Do you ever go back and think about people that you knew in the early days and you like, I thought they were going to make it.

Yeah, there's a couple people that I was like, this guy's like a celebrity. Yeah. Like, he's, he's got it. And it's just like, I don't know what happened. They just kind of like, they're, I guess, I don't know.

It's weird.

It is weird.

There's a few people that I started out with, I'm like, damn, this dude's talented. Like there's something there.

Oh no.

Yeah, I know. It's funny when you said that, I'm like, I don't think so. Then I'm like, oh yeah, there was definitely at least one, if not like two or three that they would come, they would do this. This guy was always on his own time. He would like show up late, just walk on. I think there's some people you just can't keep into like a thing at all, but their personalities are like magnetic.

Yeah, there's some people that for whatever reason, they never figure out how to make a living at it. Yeah, they never like and then they get bored with it or they get frustrated or something.

There's yeah, I couldn't imagine just like the there was I'd see people go who would like you know everyone bombs when you're starting out at open mics, but there are people that bomb every time for like years and they keep doing it and you're like, bro, how are you?

How do you survive?

How are you doing this? I don't have one bad set. I'm like, I'm gonna kill myself, dude. I hate this.

Some people just don't see it and that's also. So they don't address it, and that's also where they don't get any better. They don't have any self-awareness.

Yeah, that could be it.

And their perception of how people see them is distorted.

Yeah. No, that's kind of scary, actually.

Yeah, you want to put blinders up.

It's pretty cut and dry, though, when people are silent in front of you. You're like, Damn, I suck right now. I should change something.

But in the beginning, it's such a weird-- you're basically running a marathon blindfolded. Folded, like, through trees. Well, I, I,

like, finally, when I did, like, a special, I was like, oh, this is the point of it. You have to come up with an hour of stand up.

Yeah.

Before, I was just like, I need to have a good five minutes for tonight. And I would just go up and do it and be like, great. And I'll just go back home with, like, no plan or anything.

Well, that's a lot of guys who live in cities where you do short sets all the time.

Yeah.

We were talking about that the other night in the green room. Like, some guys who do a lot of, like, New York City clubs, they have a really good 15 minutes. Let's crush for 15 minutes. But when they have to do an hour, then things get weird because they can't keep the same energy for an hour. It's not. You have to pace it. It has to be hills and valleys. You have to kind of, like, structure it.

Yeah. Yeah.

And then they also don't really have the material because they're basically just doing their best 15 minutes all the time.

Yeah, true. I had the. I wasn't even really doing stand up. Me and Shane were doing the podcast, and I was like, I was gonna do the podcast. I don't even want to do stand up anymore. And then. It was pretty funny. Behind my back, went to the manager at Helium, was like, dude, have Matt headline. And I was like, fucking dick. And the guy hit me up. So I started doing that. So I had been like not doing stand up.

For how long?

For like months and months and maybe a year off. And I had like, you know, I went, you know, it was like I would go and try stuff. So then I started doing, when I first started headlining, I would do an hour, have off for like two months, do an hour somewhere else. It was the most insane, it like really started fucking with me.

Did you have recordings to listen to?

Yes, I would record the audio and I would listen to it and then I would like jot down notes and like it was the most insane way to get back into it.

That was the thing that we experienced after COVID. There was a moment where I hadn't done stand-up in like four or five months. Yeah, it was it felt so weird and then Houston had stand-up they had clubs open and they like space people out and put masks on them like this is so ridiculous. Yeah, and we were doing shows inside and I only did one weekend and then I got sued I'm like, what if I give it to someone and they die? Yeah, I'm being so selfish that I don't want to do these shows. Yeah, I gotta stop. So I had this old lady on the podcast and my first thought was, what if I have it and I give it to her?

Damn, that would suck.

I was so freaked out. Yeah, I didn't have, I wasn't even remotely sick. That was what was crazy. It was just a boogeyman. For sure. It wasn't like I'm coughing, maybe I shouldn't come into work.

Work.

No, it was like, I feel great, but what if I have it? I don't know.

I know.

Give it to this lady.

Yeah, I did. I had my first kid, right? Like, March 2020. So it just. We got out of the hospital, and, like, a week later, I was, like, holding my face in a grocery store to being like, what?

You could be with her when she gave birth, then.

Yeah, that was cool.

That was what was crazy. Yeah. People are dying alone because you couldn't visit them while they were dying.

And it was insane, dude. It was. It was like. And, luckily, Actually, when we went in for our second kid, that was like, it was still kind of in the mix. We were able to go in together, but our nurse, if we didn't have our mask on, she was like, I don't, whatever, I don't care. Oh, because I heard people were getting just like two weeks after we had our kid, people were in there like, I gotta stay home. My wife's in there by herself, blah, blah, blah. And it was like, it's a disaster. But even navigating that was crazy because it was like, I'd tell my wife, I wanna go do this. She's like, what if you bring it

all to all of us?

And I remember just at one point being like, then we're all gonna fucking get it, dude. I don't know. Like, we, I, you know, I did the numbers. Like, I think this affects older people

or, you know, what time was this?

This would have been March. It was like March 2020 and then, like, the next six months. Cuz I, you know, I would, like, go try to do stuff. He's like, if you go outside, we're all going to get sick.

I was worried about it. I wasn't really confident that people weren't going to get really up by it until, like, a few of my friends got it and got over it.

Yeah.

And then my family got it and I get it. And I thought that was crazy cuz I tried to get it. Like, I didn't. Yeah, I didn't. I hugged my kids. They were laughing. You're going to get Co. I was like, I'm not going to get it. And I was part of my head was like, boy, I hope I don't get it. Yeah, I never got it. I worked out and I didn't feel so good. And I said, let me just go through the paces today. And then I worked out the next day, same thing. I'm like, I don't feel so good. I feel like weak. So I just let me do like my kettlebell routine with like 35 lbs. Just easy. Don't push it. Just a couple sets. And so I did that two days in a row. And then the third day, I went to the gym. I'm like, how do I feel? And I'm like, I feel good. Like, I feel great. Like, nothing feels wrong at all. And I had a full workout, and I felt fine. So I'm like, all right, I guess I didn't get it.

Yeah.

And I went and got tested to see if I had antibodies. Like, if I'd recovered from it. Nope. Never got in there. Yeah. I had sex with my wife. She was coughing.

That's awesome. That's such a Beast move, dude.

She was like, you're gonna get it. I'm like, let's find find out. Let's find out.

That is a beast move. I I I don't. I'm, like, terrible at math, but I remember looking up, like, how likely is it to die from this? And it was, like, 0.00001 something. I was like, fine, man.

Point. I know, but they. There was so much propaganda, and it was like, the thing was, we were in the middle of doing podcasts, and we've tested everybody when they show up, make sure that nobody has it, tested all of the employees. Security guys, everybody that works for me, everybody got tested every day. We'd show up, we'd be separated, nurse would come with a mask on, test everybody, and then once we have the results, then we would allow the show to go on. So I was like, I can't fuck this up, because if I fuck this up, I fuck this up for everybody. So I got to be careful. And I just didn't want my guests, like, the guests were flying in, they were taking a chance. A lot of them were older, you know, like a lot of professors, you know, they're flying in to do this podcast, and I had to make sure then. And then someone ratted us out. So the health department showed up at the studio, and they wanted us to have a bag of masks, like, right when you walk in. So we had to put a bag of masks right there.

We had to put a hand sanitizer thing right there, and then a sign that says, like, what you're supposed to do, six foot distancing, all that. I was like, Right, but they were saying that we weren't socially distancing. We saw him hug people outside the front door.

That's completely dystopian, man. That's crazy. Yeah, I don't know why, you know what it was? 'Cause my parents were just like, 'cause, you know, the first time we all hung out outside, both my parents were like, bro, this sucks. We're just coming inside. We're not doing this. And that was like, oh, my parents

were terrified of it.

My parents didn't give a fuck.

They were like, yeah, my parents didn't wanna hang out with anybody until they got vaccinated.

Really?

Yeah, they were real nervous about it. They're older, you know? Yeah, when you get older, you know, like that's why a lot of these people Like the Neil Youngs and Howard Sterns and all those people that really freaked out about it, they're older people. So to them, they're looking at, they might be that 1% that dies.

You know what I mean?

Whereas like you're young and healthy, you work out, you'll probably be fine, you'll be okay, your wife's healthy, you'll be fine. When you're an old person and you smell death in the air already, every day you wake up, you're like, oh, Back hurts. Oh, Jesus. You can barely get out of bed. Your feet are swollen. Like, it could get you.

Yeah, that's crazy. I'm surprised. My parents are like, you know, I think they're like, it's gonna be 70 soon. They were just kind of like, we don't give a fuck, man. It depends on where you grew up. I think that's what it was, man. They were just kind of like, you know, they're all just like, fuck that. You know, it's bullshit. No matter what it was, they were like, it's fucking bullshit.

Yeah, if you grow up hard, you're not worried about it. Cough.

Yeah, they weren't. I I remember, I finally got it. I finally got it. And it, dude, it kind of, like, rocked me the first day. I had talked so much and I got it. I was like, bro, if I die, this is going to suck so bad. It's like. But we got it. Me, my wife got it two days later. So then I had, you know, we had a little kid, so I had to, like, we just switched off. I kind of was, like, recovered enough.

So we were.

Our kid never got it.

Kids can go right through it. My, my, both of my kids got it, and they just burned through it. One of them Mom had it more, but she's, like, a little more sensitive. She. She was pretty sick for a couple days. Not pretty. Not, like, scary, but, like, she didn't feel good for a couple days. The other one, like, barely had it.

Yeah.

It, like, went right through her.

Yeah. Yeah. The one didn't get it all. The one, like, a runny nose. I was, like, in bed for three straight days, just, like, hurt, super fever hurting.

Were you taking any vitamins at the time?

No. At the time, I wasn't living very.

That's the thing.

Yeah.

I'm all over the vitamins, and I was all over the vitamins then. And my wife back then, I don't think not so. I don't think she did as much. So when I was around everybody that got it, it just never got to me.

Yeah, no, I was forgot. And we had like, you know, relative newborn kind of situation going on and

it was just-- that's a hard one. Your immune system is going to be crushed anyway because you're getting zero sleep.

Yeah.

Everybody's like ready to fall asleep at any given time. Watching TV.

I've never recovered. I'm still ready to pass out. Like, I can fall asleep. I go home and I'm fried. I take naps. That was a big thing for coffee. Now I can take naps during the day. I take naps when I drink coffee.

Oh, I never take naps.

Oh, I love them, man. A little siesta.

The only time I ever take a nap is if I have to do something really early in the morning. So, like, if I do a set at night and I'm not home until, like, 12 30 and, like, maybe I have to get up at six or something, I'll take a little nap.

Yeah.

Just because for me, there's a balance of, like, what is. What's more important, getting things done, working out, or not getting into a deficit. And for me, it's not getting into a deficit. Because when I, like, if I do a podcast and I'm sleepy, I get so mad at myself. I'm like, what are you doing? Like, this is your one job. Be awake and talk to people.

Sleep like a toddler to sleep.

Oh, wow, that's cool. So how long were you in Indonesia for?

It is embarrassing. You're like, what the fuck is this?

It's the worst. And then I'm just drinking coffee and energy drinks and taking nicotine pouches and just trying to fire the brain up.

Yeah, then when I do that, my face just gets hot and I'm just anxious. It's like that's why especially for shows like I try to travel like I leave like on an early early flight Get where I'm going and just take a big nap. Yeah, and then I wake up and

go do the show one thing that I started doing when I was on the road a lot was I would go in on Thursday if I had a show on Friday. Yeah, so get in Thursday night sleep and then instead of flying in the day of the show because you're always a little foggy, you know, it's hard hard to. And back then, I wasn't on the nootropics as much. I wasn't, like, taking it with me on the road, you know, brain vitamins and, like, Alpha Brain. But now I don't around. I don't travel without that stuff.

Yeah, no, you do need. I. I do the day of. I can't help it. I just go early nap. I did a show in Vegas last weekend that, like, it didn't start till 10 p.m. Vegas time. So I got there, I was. It was brutal. I got there, took a nap, woke up. At like 9:00 p.m. Vegas time, it was just like, I felt like a bug.

You know what my trick for that is? The moment you land, the moment you land, put your shit in your hotel room, go straight to the gym. No if, ands, or buts about it. You gotta get a workout in. And you gotta sweat, like really sweat. Just really get it going. Do some push-ups, whatever the fuck you wanna do, but just really sweat. And then it feels like it resets your system.

I could see that. That would wake you up and kind of calm you down.

Yeah, it resets your system. Like, whatever the fuck happens when you're on a plane, when you get off, you just like, bro, dude, I feel

like I've been microwaved. I get off.

Yeah, we have been kind.

Yeah, pretty much. I feel like I smell weird.

It's like an x-ray you're getting x-ray.

Oh, fuck.

Yeah.

Try not to. The other day, I was like, maybe it's, like, good for me somehow. I'm up here. It's just, like, constricting my blood vessels and.

They like, turning into a superhero.

Well, I was in Denver and I ran, recently I was running and working out in Denver and I was like, probably altered now. I did a 30 minute workout. I'm probably totally different now.

Well, I lived above Boulder for a while.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah. And then I had a gig in Philly. So I was living up there for a couple of months. I was living at 8,500 feet above sea level and I'd work out up there. And then when I'd go down to Boulder at 5,500, I had all this endurance. I was like, this is crazy.

Oh, in Denver? Yeah, from Boulder to Denver you're saying?

From where I was in the mountains above Boulder, and so I'd go down to Boulder.

Gotcha, gotcha.

Boulder's like 55, 57, whatever it is, but I was at 85.

Damn.

Yeah, 8,500 feet above sea level.

Yeah, that's a lot.

So then I did a gig in Philly and I went to the gym and I remember I called my friend, I'm like, dude, I feel like I could run through a fucking wall.

Damn, I want that so bad.

That's why a lot of athletes train. They go to Big Bear in California, they train up there. There.

Damn. I kind of. Yeah, I got. I got to do it for, like, just once, and I was like, dude, this is awesome.

Yeah. If you can live at altitude and train at altitude and then go down to sea level, you feel like you have superpower.

That's awesome.

So a lot of endurance athletes, like, that's why they put the Olympic Training Center in Colorado Springs.

It makes sense.

Yeah. Like, training at altitude is a legit hack.

Yeah, I didn't realize, like, because I've always wondered, like, why is it so hard? And it's literally just the air thins and there's less oxygen. Yeah. That simple.

And then your body has to adapt so you get more red blood cells.

Yeah.

That's why they take EPO. That's what EPO does for you.

Oh, you don't have to go to altitude.

Well, I think a lot of them do both. You know, they just go as hard as they push it to that. Like, how much before I get a stroke?

It's true.

I'm trying to win a gold medal. I'm trying to win the Tour de France.

Dude, I just started. I started sprinting again. Like, sprinting. Sprinting. Just all out total Sprints. And just to, like, see where I was at, because I I'm like, you know, I'm like, if I feel like if you just stop, you can feel that, like, you know, age creep in a little bit. And there's a lot. I think there's a lot of mental stuff to be like, oh, you know, man, it just goes. But, you know, if you're not, like, testing it, you know, how do you know you're just not letting yourself go anyway? So I, like, I was, like, doing it. I haven't been running like that in forever. And, dude, like, my fingertips would be numb. I would do 100. I would do 100 meter Sprints, and I, like, can't feel my hands. Now. I can. Now I can, I fixed it. And now, because you like grow new veins and shit. I swear to God, it's true.

Are you a doctor?

I don't know. I just, grocked, I've dude. We're all equal now. But, dude, I remember being like, let me see where I'm at. And I was like, bro, you really do use it or lose it, man. And I can run now. I did it this morning. I can sprint now and like, I don't get numb.

It's pretty awesome. How do you do it? Do you go to a track?

I have a track, yeah. A track near my house. And I just fucking bolt early, super early in the morning. You feel amazing.

Wow.

All day.

And so you just pick a certain amount of distance you're gonna run?

Yeah, I'll do, like, someday, like, today I did, like, two 300s, two 200s, and then, like, we're supposed to do four 150s. I got two, and I was like, I'm tapped.

So you're done in, like, 15-20 minutes.

You're done.

Yeah.

You go there. I'm there at, like, six o'clock and I'm done in 20 minutes. And I'm.

I'm.

You feel like. It's like you were talking about you run to a city and just get, like, an all-out workout.

Yeah.

You feel like, like, you're walking on for the rest of the day.

That makes sense. There was a study recently about explosive exercise, and that that's one of the things that's lacking in, like, older people. As they get older, they stop doing any kind of explosive exercise, like sprinting.

Yeah.

And how beneficial that is for maintaining your health and your ability to move around.

Dude, I'm telling you, like, I I live. That was, like, such a drastic thing, but I was like, damn, this is my circulation is, like, going. Like, I can't run without my hands feeling all, like, pins and. To needlessly.

That's so weird.

And it just. They came back. Now I can do it. My fingers feel fine.

You're getting in shape.

Yeah, it's pretty nuts. Because that was the thing. Cardio is always like, cardio is dumb. Who cares? And then you're like, I learned. I think it just, like, you secrete growth hormone, and then your veins and capillaries start. Like, you get literally, you get, like, new and wider veins because they make sense. It's pretty cool.

Makes sense. I mean, your heart is pounding out of your chest.

Yeah.

You're hitting 180 beats per minute. It's, like, forcing all that through.

Just clearing it out, like. All right, let's, what are we holding on to right now?

Let's see, like you never got fat or you never got like really badly out of shape. When you see a guy like Jelly Roll, like I have so much respect for that man.

Yeah.

I have so much respect for that man. That dude lost 300 pounds.

Dude, how?

He lost 300 pounds. Noah Ozempic just stopped eating sugar.

That was no Ozempic.

No Ozempic. He took testosterone replacement. That's it.

That's fucking sick.

Sick. He started off.

I was like, he's gotta be on those epic.

He started off just walking, man.

That's all.

Just trying to walk. When he came here, last time we did a podcast, he ran, I forget, I think he ran 6.2 miles the day before. So they ran, he was deer hunting down in South Texas, and he was with my friend Cam Haines, and they went on a run. They did 6.2 miles. They ran, and hills and shit. And then he came in here before the podcast, he ran 2.6 on the treadmill.

Mill.

So I was working out, and he was over there running and talking and laughing. Look how good he looks.

Yeah.

How crazy is that?

Nuts.

It's amazing. It's amazing. Then we did the whole deal. We did the sauna afterwards. It was awesome.

How long. How long did he lose it? Three years.

Three years?

Yeah. Damn. That's crazy.

And he did it the right way. He did it the hard way. Just working out and eating right. No sugar, no eating clean. Food and just slowly let his body drop.

I mean, he's got a feel over and over again. He's got to feel awesome.

Yeah. It's got to be amazing.

Damn. How would you say that's doing, like, career-wise if he has, like, a persona and he's know is like this, you know, I guess his fans.

He's got an amazing voice.

Yeah.

I mean, the amazing voice is still amazing.

Yeah. Well, your voice changes with that situation with weight a little bit.

I'm sure it changed.

I don't know. I've heard, like, if you're, like, an alto or something like that and.

You're a certain.

You're at a certain weight. It can change if you kind of. This is your diaphragm, I guess, in your stomach.

I know some dudes who lost a lot of weight and they didn't like the way they look when they were thin because their head was too big.

Yeah.

Isn't that weird?

Yeah.

Like, your head gets big when you get heavier. Yeah.

Oh, it just grows.

Yeah, it makes sense.

It will grow with your body.

Significant weight loss can change a person's voice, often making it sound higher pitched, lighter or clear due to reduced fat accumulation around the larynx, throat and chest. These physical changes decrease pressure on the vocal cords, improving breathing resonance and reducing the effort required to produce sound.

So it makes you a better singer.

But does it though, because like opera singers, aren't they all fat?

I think so.

I wonder if you have to be.

I don't know.

Are there any like really thin, like handsome opera singers?

Yeah, I don't know about all fat.

I think it's like, I like to just generalize.

I think it's like a cartoon. I have to say, I'm like, yeah, I've seen that in cartoons as well.

Oh, oh, oh. There's always the big fat jolly guys.

Fat lady with the Viking helmet.

Yeah, it's always.

But that sounds good, though. So your voice gets clearer, higher pitched,

and it's not as much effort.

Yeah, sounds like that's R&B legend status then.

You can do some notes. Cat cardio. Like, you'll have way more cardio. Your heart won't beat as fast. You'll be able to have more oxygen to sing.

Yeah, dude.

It's all good.

Yeah. Yeah. That's awesome.

I mean, his voice is amazing. And it's his songwriting, too. It's not just the voice. It's like what he's singing about. It's like, that's not coming again.

Yeah, and his, his fans. I have it, like, a weird thing in my head where, like, for comedy, I'm like, if I get in too good of shape, people are going to be like, this guy. Which I don't. That's not what's stopping me, but it's like you always wonder about that. Like, I wonder if they'd be like, damn, right. You know what I mean?

Well, that is a weird thing. Like, I never.

I don't think it matters.

With a t-shirt on.

Yeah. If you're too jacked. Yeah.

Yeah. Like, I would never go on stage with a tank top on.

Tank would be. Tank might be kind of funny. Tank would be kind of funny.

That's crazy.

That would be crazy.

Rich Voss used to do that all the time. He always wore a tank top on stage.

That makes perfect sense.

Yeah, boss. Yeah. Character like Kid Rock style.

I just saw, yeah, I just saw, did you see the workout video?

No. What do you mean?

You didn't see the kid rock, Robert Kennedy workout video?

Shut up.

You didn't see this?

No.

You said he did it off social media, so he must have really got off social media.

I'm off social media, dude.

It is, it's very funny.

I'm off social media, but apparently I'm not off the fucking news, which I think I have to be off now.

Yeah.

I'm not on social media, but I'll read the Apple news feed and the Google news feed and like, fuck.

That's basically scrolling too. I tried the same thing.

I was reading about B-52s headed to some Air Force Base, nuclear equipped B-50s. I'm like, what are we doing?

Yeah.

So let me see this workout video. It's Kid Rock and oh Jesus Christ. Oh, this must be Kid Rock's house.

Yeah, I think so. Yeah.

Rock out, workout. RFK Jr. works out in Yeah, he's look he he always works out in jeans was just so crazy yeah, this is kid rock's house kid rock has a fucking insane house that looks like the white house He had like the outside of it looks like the white house, but the inside of it has two bedrooms and it's like 25,000 square feet It's an enormous house with two bedrooms. Yeah, it's all just party. He's got a huge like hot tub room look at Jr. Jr. Jack Jack dude Awesome for 70 on the air dine. Look at him doing push-ups these guys are doing the air dine in the sauna.

I know.

Wild.

Yeah, I think they go to his,

like, cold plunge with jeans on. What are you doing?

Crazy.

What the are you doing? That is ridiculous. What's wrong with your legs? Now I need to know where's kid? So this is his crazy room that looks like a mining, like, Cavern.

I've heard of his secret.

He's got, like, this. It's really cool. He's really in a pickle ball, too. He plays pickle ball every. Every morning. That's what he's telling me. He goes, I get up and play pickleball 7 a.m. everybody plays pickleball. He's like, dude, I love. That's what it looks like. Look at how dope that is. His house is so dope. It's the dopest house I've ever seen in my life.

Yeah, that's awesome.

And it's such a kid rock house. Like, the outside of it looks exactly like the White House.

That's incredible.

Just larger.

I don't want you to be distracted from the whole milk they're drinking in the hot tub.

Oh, that's raw, bro. Yeah.

Can I bring your attention to something that's been happening on the internet since we've been live?

Yes.

President Trump was asked about Obama talking about the aliens. I got a video on the screen.

Oh, perfect.

I want to hear it myself.

Yeah.

Barack Obama said that aliens are real.

Have you seen any evidence of non-human visitors to Earth?

Well, he gave classified information. He's not supposed to be doing them.

So aliens are real?

Well, I don't know if they're real or not. I can tell you he gave classified information. He's not supposed to be doing that. He made a big mistake. He took it out of classified information. No, I don't have an opinion on it. I never talk about it. A lot of people do. A lot of people believe it. Do you believe it, Peter?

Well, the president I do now.

I may get him out of trouble by declassifying. We know illegal aliens.

I may get him out of trouble by declassifying. That's hilarious.

What's going around the internet? These in the circles?

I may get him out of trouble by declassifying. Geez, I. I hope he does.

Yeah, really?

Yeah. Imagine you can go to. You can get in trouble as a president for saying aliens are real.

I. I don't think so, man. I don't think he's gonna get in. For that.

Well, what did he say then? What was that?

They've been saying there's aliens.

What did he just say?

He was just. He just hates Obama. He's going like, oh, he's going to jail. I'm getting Hillary and I'm getting Obama for aliens.

They all hate each other, and then they all hang out and Shake hands.

Yeah. Yeah. The who's funeral was that when, like, George Bush and them were handing out candy to each other? It's like George Bush.

Well, George Bush and Michelle Obama are apparently friends.

Oh, they're buddies.

Yeah.

Okay.

Which everybody thought. But George Bush never engaged in like, this insult kind of thing that Trump does.

It's true.

It's a different thing.

Yeah, it's totally. No, that's.

He's always very classy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And especially when you see the videos of him back in the day, like, now you're like, man, this guy's, like, lovable.

Oh, dude, in comparison to the politicians of today, saying, yeah, he was like, oh, when is he running again?

Class. That guy's a complete class act. And then you're like, oh, yeah, the Middle East. Forgot about that. But it's like, oh, yeah, well, he

had Satan on his side. Yeah, true. Dick Cheney was Running around fucking shooting his friends in the face and hunting trips.

That's true.

I don't know.

I mean, that thing is like, did it was a classified. There's like now, but then if Trump's gonna be like that, he gave out classified, then he's letting you know it's classified. He's telling you the cat's out of the bag.

Well, he's saying, I made D-classified I hope he does. I hope this like gets him. Because that is a weird thing to say. He's not supposed to be saying that. Well, that means it's real. Real. He gave out classified information. That means there's real data that aliens are real. That's the only thing you could draw as a conclusion from that statement.

Yeah.

Right? Yeah.

You would think.

I think. I don't think is it. I would try, like, try to come up with another reasonable way. He would say aliens are real. You shouldn't say that because it's classified.

Yeah.

That means it's real.

Yeah, it is. But that's like, that's such a crazy. If Trump was trying to keep it classified, you think he'd be like, I don't. What he was talking about?

Well, I don't know, dude.

Being like, well, yeah, they are, but I can't say they are. And he's in trouble now.

I told you, I've talked to Bob Lazar many times.

Oh, yeah.

I had him on the podcast. I had dinner with him when Andrew Schultz. Schultz was in a, in town in La. And I go, what are you doing tonight? And he goes, why? What's up? I go, you want to go have dinner with Bob Lazar? He's the guy that used to back engineer UFOs at Area 51. He goes, yes. Damn. All right. So we went to Fogo to chow in La.

That's awesome.

And we sat down with Bob. Bizarre and just got to ask him all these questions. I've talked. I've known him for years now, so I've known him for probably when I did the podcast with him. What year was that, Jamie?

2019.

2019. So I've known him for six, seven years now. Okay. Whatever. However it runs out time wise. And he's always had the same story. He's a very reasonable guy. You hang out with. I've had dinner with him a couple times. Super normal guy doesn't seem like a big fat liar. Obviously a scientist, like obviously a very brilliant guy. Like I don't know what to think. I keep searching for some bullshit. I keep searching for something. He never saw any aliens. He never saw anything. He just was back engineering these crafts that didn't make any sense. He's like he got there, he saw it, the moment he saw it, it looked like that thing. That's what it's based on. That thing on the desk, that's the sport model.

Model. Jesus Christ.

There's a guy named Designs by Perry, and the E and Perry is a three, and he makes these. You could buy them on the internet. He makes a desk clock or a desk lamp, rather.

So he'd have to examine the motor or whatever, the mechanisms of that.

They didn't even tell him what he was doing. So this is what it was. So he worked at Los Alamos, Los Alamos Labs in New Mexico, and he was a propulsion's expert. He had famously put a jet engine on the back of a Honda. He built a Honda with a jet engine on it just for funsies. He was just a genius. He just loved engineering and doing things. And he had contacted this guy about getting some work, some work in laboratories or whatever. And he said, I might have something for you that is more along the lines with your capabilities. I'm going to set up a meeting for you. So he sets up this meeting for him. He has no idea what the meeting is about. He has no idea what they're doing. They don't tell him. They just start asking him, about his background, what he did at Los Alamos, what he's interested in, and he's like, it just tells his whole story of science and this and that. And so they had already heard about him, so they go, okay, show up at this place. There's airplanes that are going to fly you out to where you're going.

So he's like, okay. So no one even knew about these airplanes back then. Now it's been confirmed that there's a bunch of airplanes right outside of Mandalay Bay. You could see these airplanes that they fly, the employee that work in Area 51 and they live in Las Vegas. They just fly them out there. But nobody knew about this in 1989 when he was talking about it, when he blew the whistle on it.

Yeah, yeah.

And so they fly them out there. They show him how everything works for a couple days in terms of how the base works and where you have access to, what you don't have access to. They bring him this guy that is his co-worker that was there before and then it was gonna show him the ropes. Ropes. And then a couple days in, they bring them into a hanger. And there's that thing. And it has American flag sticker on it. And so he goes, oh, these are ours. He's like, oh, my God, no wonder why people are seeing these things. This is something that we have. So then they tell him, essentially, tell us how it works. It's like, what is this, a test? Like, what? Like, they're very vague about everything. No one's telling them where it came from. No one's telling. Anything. And then he realizes, like, the whole thing doesn't make sense because there's no welds, there's no seams. It's like it's 3D printed and you have to crawl in it because it's designed for people that are, like, three feet tall.

Whoa.

And there's no controls in it. It's like, what is this? And there's this generator in the center of it that has this triangle piece of this element that doesn't even exist on. On Earth, this element 115. He's like, wait, what the is going on? And they explained to him, you bombard this element with radiation. This is how this thing works. Put this Dome on it, gets bombarded with radiation, and then that causes this field around this craft that allows you to move around. And so they do a demonstration for him. He goes outside, they fly this thing. When he's under it, he can't. He has to step away from where he is so he can see it again. He's like, what the fuck is this thing? It's not making any noise. It moves around. It gives off this glowing light when whatever this generator inside of it is operational. It gives off this blue glowing light. And this thing was silently flying around. And occasionally it would go from one point to another. Very quickly. Like it could go from like this part of the mountain to that part of the mountain and just appear there.

And it would look like it just disappeared. 'Cause it would move so fast, it would just appear in a new place, it seemed like.

What was steering the thing?

I don't understand it, and he didn't understand it either. They don't exactly know-- He knows how supposedly this generator, there's these gravity beam projectors that are on the bottom of it, and the way you get it to fly fast, it would turn sideways, and then it would point these gravity projectors or whatever they called it into a certain direction. It would create this void around this craft, and it would just instantaneously go to wherever it was supposed to go. Fucked it.

That's crazy.

Right, and so he's working on this for months and months, and then his wife starts having an affair on him. He doesn't tell her what he's doing. It's like super top secret. And so when you have the super top secret clearance, you can't tell anybody what you're doing. So he's like, I gotta go to work. She's like, It's 11 o'clock at night. Where are you going? He's like, I have to go to work. So he would just jet off and she was like, well, I'm gonna go fuck my flight attendant or my flight instructor. So this is all recorded because they're tapping his phones. And so they suspend him. Him because they're wondering if he's going to be emotionally unstable. So while he's suspended, he takes his friends. He's like, I got to tell people about this. Like, I can't even work. Something's going on. I got to tell these people, like, hey, every Wednesday, I have the schedule. Every Wednesday, they fly these things. And the reason why they do it on Wednesday is because that's when there's the least amount of traffic on the roads. So he takes his wife, and he takes a couple of friends, and he takes them up to see this thing, and they go once, and then they go twice, and then they get get caught.

Damn.

And then when they get caught, then they grill him, they scare him, they're poking him in the chest with a gun, and they're freaking him out. And then they tell him about his wife and the affair and all this. And so then he goes public, and so he gets hold of this guy, George Knapp, who's a news reporter in Las Vegas, and he tells him the story. And at first, initially, they black his face out, and, you know, like, so he could remain Anonymous. He's like, look, the only way I could stay alive, you have to show they're because threatening him. They broke into his house. He goes outside, he goes to the gym, goes outside, his trunk is open, his hood is open, all his doors are open, the car was locked, no one broke into it. So he has no idea. They're fucking with him. And he's really worried. Someone shoots his tire out on the highway.

Where is he now? He's just chilling.

Well, he's, I don't know if I'm supposed to say where he lives.

Well, whatever, but he's like around.

Yeah, no, he's around. I mean, this is a long time ago. It was a long time ago. And, you know, he was kind of discredited. They tried to discredit him. They said he never worked at Los Alamos Labs, but then someone got a hold of the employee roster from the time that he was working there and his name's listed there. So someone who worked there at the time said, I have the employee roster from, you know, 1985 or whatever it was. And he says, like, sure, right here. And they go through the roster and says, right there, Robert Lazar. And there's also a newspaper article that was printed about him being a physicist at Los Alamos Labs and that he had made this crazy jet engine powered Honda. Yeah. So there's him with the Honda. And he's listed in this lab that he's a physicist at this lab.

Dude, that's, that shit's so weird.

And then what, what that guy just said, what Trump just said, he's not supposed to say that it's classified.

Like, yeah.

What, why don't you tell us?

Well, I always wonder if they're going to try to do, like, a Space Force thing where it's like, wmd is the Middle East. We go to the Middle East. Now they're going like, yeah, I think there are, there are aliens. And it's like, now we get to do, like, Space Force.

I, I think if they're aliens, you can't do to them.

I know, but it's also, like, if you want to erect some weird defense thing in outer space so we can spy on China, it's like, yeah, I think there's probably are aliens for, by the way, it's like there's. I would imagine there's something. I imagine there's something because the government, whenever they start floating out things, like, I always. I assume there's, like, an agenda. I'm like, all right, what are they doing?

100.

Because they just dropped aliens on us out of nowhere, and everyone was kind

of like, okay, well, it really started around 2007.

2017.

Yeah, that's when it started to become legitimized, because that was when the New York Times printed this article about it. And they talked about these pilots and their experiences and these videos that they couldn't explain because these crafts had no heat signature and they were flying in ridiculous speeds over the ocean.

Yeah. I remember them just coming out with it and then, like, just. And then they started doing the UAP thing and all that stuff, and they're like, yeah, there's, like, an unidentified crafts and, you know, blah, blah, blah. I'm always kind of like, what are they up to?

Yeah, it's weird.

The hell are these guys up to?

It's hard to know what's real and what's not real, but when you start talking to pilots and people that have experienced certain things, you know, you just go, wow, what is this guy saying?

Yeah. And I, again, I don't deny it. I'm always kind of like, yeah, you probably did see that stuff, but it's like, I don't know.

You know, it's like, why is it classified?

It's got to be. I would imagine it's military stuff where they're like, we want to use it for, we want to reverse engineer and use it for our military. If this gets into another their military's hands, blah, blah, blah. But then they're all spying on each other, so I would imagine they would know, too.

Well, the people that I've talked to said that Russia and China both have retrieved crashes.

Really?

Yeah. It's not just America that has them. It's other countries that have them, too.

Damn.

Supposedly this is the big story. Supposedly there's one that's so big that they can't move it, so they built a building around it. That's supposed to be in Korea. Supposedly. That's why I heard it's in Korea. But, yeah, this is the lore that this thing is so big that they couldn't move it, that they had to put a building around it.

Dude, that's. That's wild. That'll be the. The thing I always think about. If they come out and say, yeah, there's definitely aliens. Like, what do people do?

Yeah, this is the building, supposedly. A giant building in South Korea is often inside it as a potential UFO storage facility. You imagine if they just built it the shape of a UFO.

It kind of looks like it. That's so crazy, dude, do a square. Entire building.

What's in that building?

I don't know.

Imagine that's real. Yeah.

What is this? Why are they. Why do they think this?

Well, I would imagine that place would have to be heavily guarded. Yeah, it was just a gate. Who's that guy? Eric burleson insisted on the existence of aliens, but admitted he has no definitive proof.

Okay, I was talking that video I showed you the other day. He was. Said he was gonna go look at these places.

He was gonna go look in Korea.

He mentioned he was gonna go look at the underground one. He didn't say where it was.

Oh, this is the congressman. Congressman's claim. Yeah. So scroll. Scroll down there a little lower. So here is U.S. congressmen's claim. Classified facility housing a UFO is hiding in plain sight. Well, that's kind of hiding in plain sight. They literally made a little antenna on the top, just like this sport model. Look at this sport model. It has that antenna on the top. I don't know what to believe, man, but I know I want to believe 270 feet in diameter. Holy shit.

Yeah, that's fucking insane. Yeah, especially now with all the deep fake stuff that's going to come out. Like the next election will be in like deep fake territory. Everyone will be like, you were on the Epstein list. You were on it. No, you were. I'm like, I'm just, you know, you

could have people saying all kinds of things that they've never said or being

like, I didn't do that.

Hanging out with people that never hung out I mean, there was all these photos that were fake of Epstein with a bunch of different people.

Oh, yeah. No, there was, there was a completely fake videos people were sharing.

Yeah.

It's like, you know, so, I don't know. By that time, it's like, I've been trying to just pull back completely from, like, the news. And I'm like, you know, hey, what

is the official story of the Colbert show where they had to air that Talarico interview on YouTube? Because I'm hearing two versions. I'm hearing one version is that CBS wouldn't let them air it because Trump was involved and the government was involved somehow or another because they're worried about this Talarico guy, this very charismatic guy in Texas that I really like. Very nice guy. I'm on the show. Brian Simpson told me about him. And then the other thing that I'm hearing is no, with FCC equal time rules, if he had Talarico on, he would also have to have Talarico's opponent, which is, I think, Jasmine Crockett. Is that true? I didn't even know whoever his opponent is. So I think there's rules like that for the FCC that don't exist for podcasts. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, yeah. They have to balance it.

Yeah. Like if you have this person on that's running for office, you also have to have someone that is opposing them. Okay. They have to have equal time.

I didn't know they had.

Is that true?

So he was on was he was on Colbert Bear show. Whose show was he on?

Yeah, Stephen Colbert Bear show.

Okay.

And so they were framing it like it was the government was censoring this guy because they were and he was saying they're worried that they're going to flip Texas. That's what he's saying. I don't know if that's true though because I'm so it's the different honestly

this sounds like it's a Colbert saying one thing, CBS lawyers are saying a different thing.

Okay. What are CBS lawyers saying?

They're saying that it's The FCC thing Colbert says, quote, here, they know damn well every word of my script was approved by CBS lawyers who for the record approve every script that goes on the air.

Yeah, but it's not about the script, it's about the humans, the people that are on, if the people are, yeah, here it is. The show provided legal guidance that the broadcast could trigger the FCC equal time rule for two other candidates, including Rep. Jasmine Crockett, and presented options for how equal time for other candidates could be fulfilled. Filled. So you would have to have equal time. Colbert scoffed at the statement during Tuesday's show. They know damn well every word of my script, but it doesn't have anything to do with the script. So they don't know damn well that every word of my script last night was approved by CBS lawyers who for the record approved every script that goes on the air. Well, that's this diverting. Because that's not what the subject words on here. Okay. I got called backstage to get more notes from these lawyers, something that had never ever happened before. They told us the language they wanted me to use to describe that equal time exception and I use that language, Colbert said, so I don't know what this is about. He went on to say he wasn't mad at the network and does not want an adversarial relationship.

Well, he's on his way out anyway.

Yeah, I thought he already knew he still was doing a show.

Yeah, he's doing it, I think, until like April or May or something. Come on, you're Paramount. No, no, no, you're more than that. You're Paramount Plus, he cracked. And for the lawyers to release this statement without even talking to me is really surprising. The host also noted there's been a long, very famous exception to the equal time rule and that exception included talk shows, interviews with politicians. Oh, interesting. So that makes it interesting. We looked, we couldn't find one example of this rule being enforced for any talk show interview, not only for my entire late night career, but for anyone's late night career going back to the 1960s, he said. Colbert said that Carr has not gotten rid of that exception, exception for talk show host yet. Maybe CBS was worried that this is a rule and that the government could crack down on them, although no one has ever done that in the past. So this is a different kind of government, right? Obviously. Yeah. It's a very adversarial relationship, CBS, or at least the Colbert Show has already with Trump.

Yeah. What are they worried about? What party is Tellerico?

He's a Democrat.

She's a Democrat and what's Crockett?

She's a Democrat.

She's a Democrat too. So what is like, oh, they're running against each other.

Exactly, exactly.

Yeah, okay. It's Tellerico is the white guy.

He's a guy, his story is very interesting. He was a school teacher.

Okay.

And his story was that he had this kid that was very troubled in his class, but the kid was receiving counseling and it was starting to get better. But then budgets got cut and when budgets got cut, they cut off the counseling and this kid started fucking off and acting out. And really falling apart, and he wound up getting kicked out of school. And it really hurt him, 'cause he was like, this kid had real potential, and he is a teacher, you know?

Yeah.

And so then he decided to run for office, and to try to remedy these problems.

Gotcha. So didn't he just get jammed up with something now, or like they were-- someone claimed they were in his office, and that he said something kind of like disparaging about a black guy?

Talarico?

He's a very mild-mannered looking guy, right? Yeah, there was, I don't know if I'm getting my politics.

See, man, when people are running against people, stories start a flying.

But there was, it was about another politician. All he said was like, I didn't know I was going up against, you know, this like, I don't know, I guess like a whatever word he used, like electrifying black. I thought I was going up against a mediocre black guy. That was, okay, he apparently, some lady claimed that he called Colin Alred, a

mediocre black man, faced allegations that he referred to his opponent, Colin Alred, as a mediocre black man during a private conversation. Conversation with an influencer. An influencer.

Yeah.

A comment rep talarico has denied. The allegation caused significant backlash with all red calling for supporters to vote for another candidate, Jasmine Crockett.

Oh, yeah. So it's like, yeah, that's a way

to get people to not vote for that guy.

Yeah. Kind of sucks.

An influencer said it.

An influencer was like, I worked in his campaign and he was like, if I known I was going up against this strong black woman, I wouldn't have known. I thought I was running against a mediocre black And then the guy responded being like, nothing about me is mediocre. You know, they kind of had it

into what the penalty is for the equal time rule. And I don't really see one.

Poor Tellerico's having a tough time. Especially if it sounds like he's a sweet guy who's like trying to help kids out. And there's, you know, his name's too

close to the guy that killed Epstein.

I keep fucking him up.

I keep Tagliani, Tellerico. There's a, yeah, that's, that's, I keep confusing them. When I say the the killer's name. Yeah, that cop. I keep saying I think his name is Taglia, no, no, no.

It's trying to catch up to him. He's like, I think this guy killed Epstein, actually. Yeah.

The thing is like an influencer said, like, what does that mean?

Yeah, I mean, it's I mean, look, yeah, it's pretty genius, though. If you want to do dirty politics, you can just be like, what if

he said I was going, I thought I was going up against this mediocre guy, and now I'm going up against this powerful black lady.

That's what. It's not a bad. But then he didn't. He was like, you know, I'd be like, that makes sense.

But he is a black man. So if you're saying mediocre guy and it happens to be a black man, and then that person says, he said mediocre black man. Like,

yeah, it's not. It's not even that bad of a thing to say.

All we'd have to do is just not say the black part. And he'd be like, oh, he's just talking about a politician. That's mediocre.

I know.

Happens to be black. But he's medio. But as soon as you describe him as accurately.

Yeah, you just. You're fried. Especially. Especially if you're a damn, man. If you're damn, you cannot be going.

No. Yeah, he's a religious guy, too, which is interesting, but also opposes putting the Ten Commandments in schools.

Okay.

Yeah, I said, I think it's going to push people away from Christianity. He had a very well thought out point about it. Yeah, we had a really good conversation.

So you don't need to be in school and be like, thou shall not commit adultery. It's like, yeah, dude, they're not going to. Your wife.

Like, well, it's not that. It's your. Pushing this religious rule, these religious rules on people. And it's one religion. It's like, what about people that are Buddhists? What about people that are Muslims? What about people that are Mormons? What about, you can go down the list forever and ever and ever. Hindus, like, what? Come on.

Yeah. And it's also, you can, you know, you can kind of summarize it up and, like, just be nice. You know, I, I worked in high school for a while. I was a counselor.

Oh, really?

Yeah. I was like a, I went to school for social work for a while.

So, like, what kind of something would you do?

Just like therapy. I would. There was, it was, it was a really cool way they did. It was like, it was, you know, it was a charter school, and I was there as an intern because I was getting my master's in social work. So they would have interns there as therapists for the school kids, basically, so that the kids could get free therapy at school if they were exhibiting kind of problems or whatever. So it was like, I worked at a, like, it was like an inner city school in Philly, and I would just go there and chill in an office, and they would just, like, I'd have to get kids in class, and they would just come. We would like talk a couple times a week. And then you could bring their family in if they have problems at home, you could be like, all right, let's call the mom and dad.

This is what this guy was talking about. This is what Tallarico was talking about, what they cut funding for.

Yeah, it's a shame, 'cause this school was like, they kind of like ran it themselves. I guess they were getting funded by the state, but the way they got around it was just using interns. So it wasn't like, you know, you're not getting like the most experienced people in the world.

But you're getting some help.

Getting something, man.

Yeah, yeah. Well, this kid that he was talking about, he had this very detailed story about this kid who was like a good kid, just came from a fucked up up house and he wanted. And these people around him were the only positive influences that he had ever had, and he was starting to get better.

Yeah.

And then he took it away and he starts falling apart. Yeah.

And it's, dude, it's also like, you don't. You forget, like, you know, because there's, like, for kids, when you, like, especially you're, like, in a city and kids are telling you, like, their lives, it's like, it's heartbreaking. Like, the, like, their day-to-day setup, you're like, Christ, man. And then there's looking at you, like, what do I I'm like, you try to hang in there. There's nothing I, there's literally nothing I can tell you to do. You just got to hang in there. And, like, it was sad, but it was, it was one of, like, my favorite. If I didn't do standup, I would probably do that for a job. Yeah, I loved it. It was fun.

That's. Well, it sounds very rewarding, right? Yeah.

Yeah.

You're actually helping people.

Yeah. And you have to, it's just, like, intense. You're just sitting there in a room with somebody, and it's, like, everything they're saying, there's no, like, guidance. You have to just be like, all right, well, like, maybe this, maybe that. And it's like a, I don't know. I felt really, I always liked it a lot. It was was pretty cool. But then you would, like, you go back to the school, and I I. It's so funny. I went to Social Work School just because I was doing stand-up I was kind of kicking around. I was like, yeah, I was doing the podcast, but it was, like, slow going. And I remember watching Jordan Peterson be like, the schools are crazy right now. And a part of me, like, I always, I wanted to be a therapist, but I remember being, like, kind of curious. Like, I wonder how bad they are. And I went to school. I went to my master's program in Social Work, which was, like, Ground Zero for, like, the stuff he talking about. And he was, dude, it was, it was literally, like, worse than he made it out to be.

What was it like?

It was insane, dude. It was literally, like, you know, I went to school again to be a therapist, but, like, social work, you can be a therapist faster than if you go to school for psychology because you just, like, don't need any of the science, really. You just study kind of, like, the theory and, you know, whatever. So you can be a therapist quicker. It's like a shortcut, kind of. But it would be like, it was just, you'd be in a room with, like, 13 other people, and they would, like, you know, you talk. Talk about whatever it'd be. Be like, let's. Let's talk about, like, clinical approaches here and there, and it would just right away turn into, like, race, gender, who's the most oppressed? Do this. And it was just like, people would tell stories, like, one time this guy said this to me, and everyone's like, I can't believe that guy said that. It was literally, like, nothing. You paid 60 Grand. It was like. Like, I would be terrified if I was getting therapy. And again, it's like, not everybody, but there's a lot of very on people would. In class.

So you'd be, like, talking, and, like, people would just start bursting out in tears, like, I don't feel safe. Oh, it was insane. And I'm like, dude, you're gonna be talking to people who are, like, homeless. How are you gonna help them?

Oh, my God.

And it was all female. It was mostly female dominated. It was, like, me and three or four other guys. And then, like, people would come in because you'd bring your case files in and be like, here's something I'm dealing with. Let me get some, you know, what do you think about this? I remember this guy was dealing with this, like, Vietnam vet who, like, like, you know, had, like, lived in Philly his whole life. And he was like, I was just shocked the way he talked about women. It's like, bro, you're dirty macking your client, dude, for these chicks. I'm like, come on, man. It was just kind of weird. It was like, did you know he's a 70-year-old dude who's lived in Philly his whole life?

He probably stabbed Charlie in a tunnel somewhere. Yeah.

And he was like, he was just very crude about women. It's like, come on, man. Of course, this guy is.

Yeah.

Don't throw them under the bus. You're supposed to be helping. That was my whole point. It was like, if you're doing therapy with people, it's Life is just so hard and so complex. And if you're going to be like, this doesn't sit with my party politics, I was like, you guys got to drop the political shit, man, and just meet these people where they're at.

There's so many guys out there that just want brownie points.

That's what I was. And dude, it was exactly what it was. I was like, dude, I know what you're doing right now. You're dirty macking this guy. So you can be like, personally, I was offended. I'm like, dude, you guys are the worst. I couldn't stand it. It at all.

These guys are the worst.

Then they try to kick me out of the school because. Because when Shane got in trouble for SNL, my name popped up in the byline because I. They had no clue. I. It was like a double life. I would do. I would go to social work school. Like, because I just took out loans. I'm like, we'll just see what, you know, if the podcast works, I'll just pay off the loans. If it doesn't, I'll have a degree. And so I had been. It had been pretty contentious because my plan was like, dude, just go keep cool. Don't say anything. And then, dude, you be in these classrooms. And, like, I remember the one time this lady, they're all, like, young. They right out of college, they come out and they'd be like, well, and I believe this is, like, unprompted. She was like, well, if she was like, I would never personally call the cops on a black person ever. And I'm just sitting in the back of the room, and I'm like, what? No one's gonna say this is the craziest. And I'm like, what if he was beating a woman? And she was like, I mean, like, the And like, it was just that non-fucking stop.

And I couldn't help it. So I would start saying stuff. The room would go into chaos. So like, I literally couldn't bite my tongue. And then eventually they found once they they already kind of had it out for me. And once that news came out about the podcast, they were like, we got them dead to rights. So then they they like the student council, like they all them, they didn't like me at all. They all kind of did a motion to get me kicked out. And so the teacher came to or like, you know, the dean or whatever, who actually was nice. I liked her a lot. She like, I had a meeting with her. And she was like, yeah, these people feel unsafe, blah, blah, blah. So I had to do them. And it was like unsafe or they just don't, you know, they don't like what they're hearing. But like, they I had a meeting with like the board basically, which you ever like fantasize about getting like defending yourself in court? Yeah, I got to do that and I got to have like a, you know, we got to like debate about whether or not I actually violated the code of ethics.

And it was like kind of this gray area. So it was like it was awesome. I recorded it on my phone.

Wow.

It's like an hour long. I never listened to it again. But it was like, because I was like, just in case they jam me up, the lady Katie was like, you know, like, if. What would you do if we kicked you out? And I was like, dude, like, I'll make the most of that for sure. Like, I wouldn't want to do it, but I'd. I would just see you guys, man. Like, you can't kick me out. I'm already, like, invested. I, you know, blah, blah, blah. And then covet happened, so, like, they were just hushed it all. I just got to finish online class. Yeah. They tried to give me the boot, and I remember the day.

Wow. Did they have a specific thing that they were upset about? Was it your association with Shane?

It was just that clip, that Chinatown clip came out, and they just saw us, like, I'm sure they, like, looked to other stuff, but they were like, he's making this place unsafe. We're not safe here. And I was like, shut up.

Yeah, podcasters in academia.

It was, dude, it was.

Academia does not go together.

Also, dude, I thought having a master's, I was gonna be around geniuses. It's like, they're not that smart. You go to a place with masters and PhDs, half of them don't even read anything. You talk about a book, like, I never heard of that. And then they'd show you Netflix. Like, bro, I'm paying 60 grand for this. You're hitting me with a Netflix stock. It's like, I, this is eight bucks a month.

They were showing you Netflix stocks in class.

Yeah, there was, we watched a Netflix stock. One of the classes, we watched, like, the 13th Amendment. And I was like, I saw this already. What the, man, like, it's the, that, that, like, I mean, I remember thinking, like, damn, everyone was on Peterson's ass about this. He was totally right. Liberal, liberal arts colleges were like, it was, it, I couldn't have thought of a bigger waste of money in terms of, like, bang for buck and, like, what did I learn?

Well, I remember when we were talking about all the madness that was going on in schools and people were like, why do you care about this? This is happening in college. I'm like, they're gonna eventually graduate and they're gonna have this ideology and they're gonna get into corporations, they're gonna get into business, they're gonna carry this with them and try to enforce these crazy rules.

Or you know somebody like your kids having problems and you go to a therapist and they're just like psycho. We would talk about modalities of therapy. One of them, someone floated, and the teacher was like, oh, yeah, for sure. It was called, like, it was. I don't know what it was called. It was, like, activism therapy, where you get people politically active in orders, like, motivate them and enrich their lives. And I was like, you can't do that. You can't take, like, a confuse, existentially adrift person and be like, this is what you need to do.

Go politically.

I swear to God, dude, it was. There was. There was, like, really creepy stuff going on there, and it was all just, like, complete group think. You couldn't, like, if you said anything outside of, like, what was acceptable, you would just get punished. The teachers would kind kind of, even, like, some of them would try to, like, scold you or be like, yeah, okay, dude. And it's like, it's. It's a lot. It would. I could see it why it would just break people. Because I would, like, my heart would be beating. I don't really like conflict like that. Yeah. But it was also, like, dude, some of the stuff, you're like, I can't not say anything. This is insane, dude.

Did you ever talk about this on stage?

No, I've never really talked about being in social work.

Oh, my God. It's like, there's gold in them, our Hills.

It was fun. At that time of the podcast, I would leave school. I would. Then I come back to the podcast, like, bro, you won't believe what the. These people are saying, like, you say

it on the Oh, that's awesome. It just seems like it's a great gold mine for standup. Yeah, because you have a very unique experience. As a window into how crazy people are in school.

Yeah, no, it was terrifying, man. And then the weirdest part is after years went by, they were like, Do you want to get your PhD here? I was like, no.

After COVID?

After it all?

They just wanted your money.

Exactly. I saw that and I was like, man, get the hell out of here.

It would be nice to be calling yourself Dr. Matt though.

Bro, the only thing I didn't think about.

Come on, dawg. Come on, dawg.

I know.

I've been telling you. It tells you how many kooky doctors there are out there.

That really opened my eyes. I thought doctors were like the smartest people in the world. And I went to like higher education. I'm like, this is fucking insane.

Yeah.

Anyone could be a doctor, dude. Anyone could be a fucking doctor.

Especially on some subjects, right?

Exactly. That's the thing.

Not like a hard sciences.

Not hard science. If you want to be a doctor, you could go for like anthropology, whatever. Yeah, no problem, dude. No, and they can't say shit. Like you can make up, you can like make your thesis on anything and be like, excuse me.

Well, did you ever see what Peter Bogosian and James Lindsay and Ellen Pluckrose did? You know what they did?

No.

They made these fake academic papers.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I saw that.

Like heteronormative something in dog parks. They were talking about about like gay experiences with dogs have. It was like a peer reviewed paper. Fat bodybuilding was one of them. Yeah. And they were like celebrated. These papers were celebrated.

Dude, it would go 100% with the theory, like the critical race theory and all that stuff you cover. When you get into it, you're like, it was, and I remember like saying this, it was very like, it reminded me, because I'd been outside of Walmart, someone handed me like a pamphlet and it was like white supremacy. When you read that stuff, you read the first two sentences, you go, okay, that sounds legit. And then it just, there's this huge quantum leap in reasoning. You're like, Whoa, how the fuck do we get here? A lot of that's very similar where they'll make a thing like you just, no one can disagree with.

Right.

And then it jumps real quick and

you're like, Just complete group think.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That was scary to be like, damn, dude, these people are gonna be like, these people are therapists working with kids, older people, you know, this and that, you know, and it was just like, I was like, how is this the people supposedly guiding people through life or taking people who are lost or suffering and being, I don't know, it was kind of rough. Because the animus against a person who thought differently, it was palpable and very severe to where it was like, dude. And the funniest part was, again, I was in that high school in the inner city. The school was 97% black, the rest Latino. And they were like, how would your students feel about your podcast material? I'm like, they don't give a fuck. They would laugh. Like they have bigger fish to fry than being like, what did you say on a podcast? It's like, they're like high schoolers in Philly fighting for their lives.

How do the students feel?

That was the big disconnect. I'm like, you guys have like, I don't know, man. Like they would even teach you, this would crack me up. I was like thinking about this the other day where they, they would tell you if you had a client and, you know, say your client was black and, you know, I'm a white guy, I should lead by going like, how do you feel about the fact that I'm white and you're black? I was like, dude, you guys realize you're in a classroom studying how to talk to a black person? I'm like, that's fucking weird. I was like, just talk to, you can just talk to them, man. And if that comes up, you can tackle it. But you're uncomfortable and then you're going like, so black person, how do you feel that I'm white? It's like, dude, that is, and they would push back against me. I'm like, no, no, no, you guys can't I can't do that. That's crazy.

Well, you were actually applying it in the real world. They were just exhibiting, they were just hanging out in these circle jerks.

Exactly. And a lot of them would be like, you know, I'm social justice, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, where's your field placement? That was like your, you know, that was like your internship. And they're like, oh, I'm out on like the main line. It's like a really nice area in Philly. It's like, I'm doing like a high school in the main line. It's like, okay, dude, it's like, you know, it's like, take that act somewhere else. And it's like, those kids don't want to hear any of this shit, like at all. And I would let you talk talk to them. Like, if race comes up, I would talk to them. But, like, you. That would have been so crazy to take a black eighth grader and being like, I'm white. How do you feel about that? That would be so creepy and weird.

Isn't it crazy that they think you're obligated to bring that up? You have an obligation to discuss it also?

It's like they know. They can see me. I'm clearly white. They know I'm white. And it's like, exactly. It's like. And if that you talk, talk, talk. Talk, talk, talk. And then you can like bring it up because it's a thing, but it's like leading with that.

I'd always be like, the least of their problems.

Exactly.

They're just probably happy someone takes an interest in them and is kind to them.

Dude, and that was a big thing too of like, you know, because they, you get them out of class and a lot of them, they'd be like, I'm fucking talking to this guy. It's like, whatever. And I would just chill and be like, you can just do your homework. And then you just start helping them with their homework. Like, what are you doing? You know, and then you eventually build rapport. But it was just like, you know, I'm like, these are the teachers telling you this. And you're like, fuck, dude, you guys are guiding people into this. It was, dude, I walked away from that being like, God damn.

Well, there's a lot of people that think that, like, a lot of psychology and a lot of therapy is just complete horseshit. And the argument about therapy being complete horseshit in terms of, like, the academic study of it and applying it to people is that very few people, you know, get better. I think it does help a lot of people, though. And I think it really helps a lot of people if they're in a really bad place. I think some people just want to talk to to somebody. And that can help too. But it's like, what can you actually do for them in terms of like with the tools and the techniques of therapy versus just being a human and talking to a human and seeing their side of things and trying to tell them your perspective and trying to give them a rational point of view and giving them maybe some things to work on on, but it's like, it's not a science, and not at all. And it varies so much between individuals.

Well, yeah, there's the individuals. Then there's 40 million modalities of therapy. So it's like you can be doing, like, CBT, which is like, that's supposedly the most scientific, where it's like, there's a system. It's a kind of rigorous. You can have, like, young and stuff where you're like, what's your. Let's draw, like, a mandala based on your dreams. Or you can just be like, let me just be nice to this person who's never had anyone be nice to them. Right. And then let them kind. Open up and like, yeah, I think they did a study one time where they took, they let people who weren't trained therapists be therapists and they didn't find a giant difference in terms of like who was getting what result. But then there's, it is a skill though. That's the other thing. Like it's a skill, it's a hard job.

Yeah.

But I think you're totally right where it's like, it all depends on the person. Have they, are they in touch with what's the therapist? Do they know about like what's fucked up with them? And like, right. Because you can like, I I don't know, man. It's such a crapshoot, and it's like, I think it can be beneficial. I think, like, being stuck in it your whole life, I don't know about that, because it just becomes a thing where you start performing, and you're like, well, let me.

Well, a lot of people feel like you have to be in therapy, and everybody should be in therapy.

I'm like, yeah, I don't know. Like, I remember I didn't do it ever. And then when I went to school for therapy, they're like, you gotta go. You gotta go to therapy so that, like, you can know what it's like and blah, blah, blah. It's like, fair enough. And I genuinely walked in there being like, I'm about to blow this lady's mind. She's gonna be like, I've never met a guy so put together. And then, like, I went in there, and she kind of picked me apart, and I was like, I'm kind of up. I didn't know.

That's funny.

But it was. I, for real, was like, I'm gonna. This lady's about to be like, bro, let me just tell you about my. I, like, for real, had so much.

You're gonna be the therapist for her.

I thought I was a chosen one. It was good, though, because, like, they. The one thing they can do is, like, if you're in a family. System and you have no other available worldviews, you're locked in that. So a therapist can be somebody outside of a system you would never have ever have access to who can let you run things through your head in a way you would never think of. That I think is good. But then it's like at a certain point it's like, I feel like you should get in, get out. Kind of like, all right, here's some things. There's like acceptance, commitment therapy. That's good. They teach you how to be mindful. How to like monitor your thoughts without having them like completely attached. There's like, there are like skills you can learn.

Yeah.

But it's like, dude, fucking, and the money of it's crazy. Like, that's the other thing. Like, it's so expensive.

Right, and does insurance pay for it for most people?

How does it depend? It'll cover it for some, you have to be, you have to get a therapist in that network, and then they have to diagnose you. If insurance wants, if you want your insurance to cover you, that therapist has to diagnose you with a mental disorder or some sort of mental thing.

Oh, do they have to prescribe something for you?

They don't, I don't think they have to. Prescribed? No.

But it's like, interesting.

They have to just give you a, like, you know, your bipolar adjustment of disorders, the one where it's like, but

with psychiatrists, like, I wonder how many of them are just, like, incentivized to put you on something.

Probably a ton. They're just, like, doctors.

Right.

So. And then some of them just swear by it. They're like, just take this, take that, take this.

Yeah. I have a friend who went to a psychiatrist, and he said that, like, immediately, like, first meeting, this guy's trying to put him on a Yeah, and he's like, well, I don't think I need that. Like, yeah, I'm not that fucked up. Just not happy.

Yeah, I'm sad. It's also first meeting is crazy because it's like, let's see what your life's about.

No, he's like, let's get you on this and it'll make you feel better. Yeah, we'll work from there.

Well, some of those guys are like ruthless materialists where you're like, yeah, your brain's just fucked up, dude. Right. Is that like, did you ever see the Sapolsky guy?

Yeah, Robert Sapolsky.

Yeah, I think he's great. I love his lectures, but his lectures last book. And again, this was, like, from him promoting it. I didn't read it, but his argument was like, yeah, we just all have different brains. And if you're like, you know, if you're like a home invader or a burglar, it's just your genes suck. And, like, we shouldn't ever punish anybody. We should just kind of, like, keep people aside and just rehabilitate, basically saying, like, you have no choice over what

you do at all.

Free Will is complete illusion.

Yeah. That's the determinism argument.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't know about that argument. I mean, obviously, Free Will is real. But obviously you are affected by your genes, your life circumstances, your past behavior, your. All the experiences that you've had. There's a lot of factors to say that will doesn't mean anything. But then why is inspiration so important?

Yeah.

Why do people love inspiration? Why do people love, like, a good pep talk? Why do people love, like, a good motivational video that gets you out of the house? Like, obviously there's will involved.

Yeah.

And will is. Will is the thing that turns you into a Jelly Roll at 500 pounds to Jelly Roll at 200 pounds. Like, that's what will does.

Yeah.

Like, that is. That's a real thing, man. That's not a. It's not a fake thing. It's the idea of Free Will. It's no determinism that led Jelly Roll to decide to start walking. It was hardcore will.

Yeah. No, I agree. I I don't. That argument always bugs. I like Sapowski. I liked a lot of his stuff. That argument just bothers me because it's like, okay, you're taking the idea of will and just switching it with, like, this. Nebulous, like, what? There's, like, a isotope in your brain that is. Oh, it gets switched on, and then you're able. It's just. To me, it's such a. Like a. Just a weird point to kind of, like, try to push across where, like, there's no free will. It's just your Gene activates, and then you do the thing, and it's like, yeah, I guess, man. But then you can, like, change your genes, apparently, by, like, acting a certain way. So it's like, you know, I. That's. I just never like that stuff, man.

It's a weird argument, but there's validity to both. Perspectives. There's validity to the perspective that free will is a real thing, but also determinism is a giant factor in how many people live their lives the way they live them. Yeah, especially if you're in a shit circumstance, you're in a terrible gang-ridden community, you get beaten in your house, your mom's on crack, there's chaos everywhere. The idea that you're going to come out of this writing vegan poetry is insane.

It's insane. That's true.

That's insane. You're a product of your environment, at least to a certain extent. And usually someone finds something that they love that gives them an outlet and then they get out of there.

The problem with the determinism stuff for me is like, 'cause I do get that. It's like, you know, yeah, if you have a horrible upbringing and you do a hor-- you know, you kill people, it is like, yeah, I get it. Like, if that had been me, maybe I can do that. And like, he's like, maybe we should treat everyone a lot more kindly and not punish people people. And it's like, I'm all on board with that. It all, for me, it all stops at pedophiles. And it's like, so what? We're supposed to just, like, right. Poopoo a pedophile. It's like, part of me is like, we should probably fry those guys where

it's like, well, that's one of the craziest things about this whole, what's going on? The woke in Academia is they're starting to call them minor attracted persons.

Yeah.

So there's, like, legitimate academics are describing pedophiles as minor attracted persons and that it doesn't mean that they're evil.

It's like what yeah, I know that's the problem.

It's like okay, you have kids like yeah, I don't know anybody who has kids who has that perspective no, if you did you have to be like a sick fuck like to think that it's oh, it's just a minor attractive person that fuck my kid like what

yeah, well that and that's the whole thing too where it's like you were

all just bags yous know of like

jeans and we're this material goo that just does something sometimes it's like all right well, let me fucking squash this pedophile then let me all his bags of goodies Let me, you know, crush this guy, but it's like- Right, it's

okay to abort a child, but it's not okay to kill a pedophile.

I know.

Explain, help me.

Yeah, that's where it gets for me all that like determinism, like we should just be kind and have a more rational approach to criminal justice. It's like, for sure. And then it's like, yeah, fuck pedophiles. It's like, yeah, you can't.

Pedophiles, serial killers.

Yeah.

There's a lot of rapists. There's a lot of different people you could throw into that. One of the interesting things about Sapolsky is, He did some crazy work on toxoplasmosis. That's how I really got into him.

Really? Yeah.

He was the guy that we first started reading about that was saying that a disproportionate amount of motorcycle victims, when he was doing his residency, the guy who he was working with, one of the surgeons, would test the motorcycle victims for toxoplasmosis. And he said a giant percentage of them have this cat parasite.

Oh, yeah, I've heard about this.

Cat parasite Alters Behavior. It makes you more Reckless, it makes you more prone to erratic mood swings, and it makes you more aggressive. It's interesting. Yeah. Disproportionate amount of successful soccer teams have high levels of toxoplasmosis. Damn. Countries with higher toxop. They could also be higher. Countries of higher toxoplasmosis don't have any money. It's easier to get a soccer ball. People get good at soccer. It's the way out of the game. I mean, a way. Out of bad neighborhoods. But this, the motorcycle victim thing is nuts because we know it affects human behavior. And we also know that it affects animal behavior. It makes cats, it grows inside cats' guts. It's the only way that it reproduces. So what it does is it rewires a sexual reward system of rodents. And like mice and rats get turned on by the smell of cat piss. So they go to seek out cappis with like a boner, like literally, and they lose all their fear of cats so that the cats devour them. And so when the cats devour them, then that parasite is now inside the cat's gut, which is where it reproduces. So that's why they tell pregnant women you should never touch cat litter.

Really?

Yeah. It's toxoplasmosis.

And they think it does the same thing in humans where it just makes you like kind of amps up your drives.

Yeah.

Damn, that's, you know what else is nuts too? Cause you were saying that's more in like certain countries that are like developing.

Well, it's in, in rural areas, any places where People have like outdoor cats. Yeah, but there was one point where in France it was like 50% of the people had toxo.

Jesus Christ.

Yeah, cuz it was wild cats everywhere.

Yeah.

And you got to think cats are, they're on your countertop. They're, they're, they're is on their paws.

I don't, that's the one thing. Like, I have dogs. I, I, cats are fine. If I see a cat, I'll pet it. But like, when I see people's cats on their countertop and I don't get squeamish easily, I'm just kind of like,

ew, dude, it's gross.

It's kind of gross.

Well, they in a box, they paw around in that box of and piss, and then they hop on your couch.

Yeah.

And piss on their paws.

Yeah.

Dogs go outside. They take a. They come inside. They're good. As long as your dog doesn't rub his on your dinner plates, you're probably okay. But I've had cats that, like, walk on your plates. They don't give a. They'll. They'll take a seat on your plate.

Yeah.

Like, you're like, I have to get a new plate now. You. What are you doing? Get off of that.

And they, they're funny, but I've see every time I see him, like, get out of the litter box and walk across people's counter. Tops.

I'm like, dude, it's funny. I've always had them, though. I have. Well, I don't have them now cuz my kids are allergic. But when I, when I was younger, I had them and they are fun. I like them. They're fun pets. They're cool. They're cute. They come over you and purr.

Yeah.

But it is weird that you have a box of in your house and there's a lot of people, like, they're lazy and you go over their house, they have a cat. They're not cleaning that litter box enough. And as soon as you walk in, the waft of piss and hits you in, like, like, bro, you're just smelling

this all day so bad. I need. I would need an outdoor. I used to let stray cats come in my house when I lived. After college, I lived in a house by myself in Philly. It was like a small house. And all the, like, a lot of the houses on the street have been knocked down. So there's only, like, there were row homes, but I had a standalone row home. There's a lady across the street at a standalone row home. They just knocked all the houses next to us down and, like, two other people. And I would let the stray cat into my house, but I'll just, you know, you can come stand here. But I'd be like, you can't, like, this thing can't get bed. And, like, by, like, 3 days, that thing was, like, curled up next to my face. I got a up eye infection. Yeah, it was called epigemic. No, it's called epidemic carot conjunctivitis.

It's called in your eyes.

Literally. It was. But the. The eye doctor was like, the eye doctor goes, I hadn't only seen. This is, like, in third world countries. And, dude, for 6 months afterwards, after it got cleared up, they had to shut the thing down and clean the whole eye practice. Afterwards, my eye at 10:00 was It would start to droop.

Whoa.

'Cause the white blood cells would rush to my eye. So I would be out, dude, for six months after this thing finally cleared up. 'Cause it was viral. They're like, There's nothing you can do for it. I would go out, my eye would start drooping, and I'd be like, I gotta go home. I gotta go home.

What's your alarm?

I would feel like I had fucking-- That's what you said. Yes. I feel like I had fucking sand in my eye.

Highly contagious, severe eye infection caused by adenovirus, typically types A, 8, 8, 1937, caused rapid onset of red, painful, watery eyes, often with light sensitivity, blurred vision and swollen eyelids.

Whoa, dude. I would wake up in the morning, my eyelid was. It was stuck together, and I have to pull it open. And then I saw the movie Ray. Remember the beginning of Ray when his eyes get all globbed up? I was like, dude, am I going blind? This would suck.

That would suck if you got blind from a cat's.

Suck, dude, bro.

Yeah, but a friend of mine has shingles on his face. It's crazy. His whole face is all swollen up, and he's worried he might go blind.

He has it now?

Yeah, he just got it. He's an older guy, and I just got it.

What is shingles like when you don't get chicken pox and it, like, comes and gets you afterwards?

I don't think so. I think it's a form of the herpes virus that affects older people in particular. Older people are terrified of it. They get shingles, vaccinations, and is that what it is?

I thought chicken pox was herpes, too.

Oh, really?

I always heard that if you don't get chicken pox as a kid, you might get shingles as an adult. My uncle Dr. Paul got shingles and it sucked.

Known as herpes zoster, a viral infection that causes a painful rash. It stems from the reactivation of the varicella zoster virus, the same one responsible for chickenpox, which lies dormant in nerve tissues after the initial infection. So after you get the infection, then you can get shingles. Oh, no. After chickenpox resolves, the virus remains inactive in the body's nerve cells, factors like aging, weakened immunity or stress can trigger reactivation, leading to shingles. Most commonly in adults over 50. Yeah. Yeah. My friend is, like, in his 60s.

That sucks, dude.

Yeah, that's rough. A lot of older people are scared of shingles.

Yeah. I remember my uncle got it, and he, like, he was.

Is the shingles vaccine effective? Does it prevent shingles? Is that one of the legit ones?

This says vaccines like. Shingrix. Shingrix reduce risk significantly. Antiviral drugs shorten outbreaks if started early.

Oh, you gotta get on it right when you see the first bump. Oh, it sucked, dude.

Somebody knew his kids got MRSA from swimming in one of those. Oh, dude, it was scary. We got the pictures. It was just like bubble. It looked crazy.

MRSA is terrifying. Yeah, that's all from people taking antiviral. Antibiotics or staff.

Staff and staff. Yeah, staff.

Staff is the more dangerous one. Excuse me, MRSA is the more dangerous one because MRSA is medically resistant. Medicine resistant.

So this was just staff. So it's like a giant bubble on their hand. It looked crazy.

I've had staff.

Did you really?

I've had it a couple times. Oh, yeah. I got it from Jiu-Jitsu a lot of people get it. Yeah, it's real common. Like a lot of people get it and they don't even realize they have it until it's too late. Like Ari had it and he didn't even we were playing pool once and he was limping. He was walking around. I go, why are you limping? And he goes, I got a spider bite. And he was doing jujitsu. I bought him a year of jujitsu for Christmas. Yeah. I forced him to celebrate Christmas. I didn't say it's Hanukkah. I got him a Christmas. But I go, let me see. And he rolls his pants up and I see this bubble on his knee with like a pus center of it. And I go, we're going to the hospital. Right now. He goes, are you serious? I unscrew my Q. I go, you have to go to the hospital right now. I go, right now. I go, that's staph infection. Oh. And he was like, why don't they fucking tell us about why aren't there signs at the gym warning you about them? Like, that's a good point.

Like, you kind of have to hear about it from somebody.

Yeah.

I found out about it from my friend Tate. Shout out to Tate Fletcher, my homie. We were at the airport once and I had shorts on and, you know, I had just like my foot sitting up like this. He goes, what's on your feet? On your calf? I had like little pimples on my calf. I'm like, oh, nothing. And he goes, Dude, I think that's staff. I'm like, what? These are like little zits? You think that's staff? And he goes, yeah, you should go get that checked out. And I went to the doctor and he said, yeah, that looks like staff. He goes, I'm gonna put you on antibiotics right away and we're just gonna swab it and send it in, but I don't wanna wait. And I got on it right away and so I killed it quick, but I remember the antibiotics. Dude, you feel so weird when you're on. He's like so tired.

I hate taking them in.

Some guys fight on them. I know guys that have got staph infections in the UFC, fought off the staph infection with antibiotics and then fought on the antibiotics, which is crazy.

Yeah, that's crazy.

I don't know how you'd have any endurance.

No, I always feel, I also like, they mess my stomach up so bad.

Oh, yeah.

I don't know, but my stomach's fried.

Well, my friend Gordon Ryan, that's his belt up there. Jiu-Jitsu Grappler of all time. He has to retire because he got staffed so many times that he was taking antibiotics so often that it nuked his gut bacteria. And, like, he can't hold food down. He throws up all the time.

Sucks.

Yeah, it's crazy. He's been dealing with it for years, and he just announced on Instagram really recently that he has to retire.

Dude, I. I got.

He can't train.

That's. I.

And he's the greatest. He's the best of all time.

And he just has, he's done.

He's 30. Ah, yeah.

That sucks.

Like unanimously regarded as the greatest grappler of all time.

And he's, that's it.

Yeah. He's gone like 10 years undefeated beating the best fighters in the world.

Every time off, can he just take like five years off?

He's trying, he's done that. He hasn't competed in a couple of years. He can't do it, he can't train.

That sucks.

It's like it keeps coming back.

Dude, I had eggs in my one time, and it, like, it came up on my. It was, like, on my legs, and it was on my dick. And I thought it was ringworm because it was, like, a perfect circle. So I go to the, you know, I go to the. Whatever. Urgent Care. And I'm like, yeah, I got ringworm. And they're like, that's weird. Usually doesn't go on there. But they're like, just put, you know, lotrimin or I think what I muscle. Yeah, like, lotrimin, that. So I put lotrimin on my dick, and it just drives. Like the whole thing, it was like, it was disgusting. So then I had to go back to another urgent care and it would be like the second or third time I had to show like a fucking shriveled, flaccid, like chapped red penis. I showed this one nurse who goes like, I don't know, calls in another nurse and I'm like, fuck, all right. She comes in, I don't know what that is. They call in someone else. I'm like, oh, third nurse, giant black guy comes in. I'm like, no, no.

No, no, no. You know he's gonna laugh as soon as he leaves.

Bro, he was probably, I can't believe, yeah, it was bad. And then finally, I went to, I finally went to a dermatologist and I, dude, you can look it up, the Center City Dermatology run by just like a babe. It's on the website. Everyone knows this. Who has ever gone there? My friend, I was talking about it one time. My friend was like, bro, I know exactly you're talking about. She comes in, checks it out. And she was like, dude, you had, you know, that wasn't even ringworm. And then she gave me this cream, and it, like, cleared it right up. So I had to show, like, my, like, chapped, like, it was like a leprosy, bro. That's. Whoa. Yeah, dude, that's just for us. She saw me at my worst.

Hilarious.

So I had to show it to, like, four people. It was like a leprosy penis. And then eventually she was like, oh, no, dude, take, like, it was like a cortosteroid cleared it right up.

I know people that have had eczema that went on a carnivore diet, and.

I can't have gluten. That's the thing. I've been allergic to gluten for a while and if I kind of backslide on that, it's like I'll get little eczema flare-ups.

A lot of people are allergic to it. And a lot of people don't think it's actually the gluten. They think it's actually how they finish the crops with glyphosate.

I've heard about that.

Yeah. It kind of makes sense because why are all these gluten intolerant? Nobody heard about those in the '70s. No, there was no one gluten intolerant.

No, it was, dude, the weird thing is my mom, she's always been a health person. She got this book, 'cause she had health problems and it might have been in the 80s. My aunt was a nurse, gave her this book, and my mom self-diagnosed gluten allergy in the 80s. And everyone's like, you,'re out of your fucking mind. Nobody has this, blah, blah, blah. And yeah, then when I was in college, I was like, dude, I feel like every time I swallow food. It feels stuck in my throat. My. I have, like, gas. I'm burping. My stomach's up. I'm not sleeping. I was having, like, racing thoughts, and. And she was like, oh, try not eating gluten for a while, dude. It cleared it up. Like, it was insane.

I wonder if that's the same with, like, gluten that you get in Europe where they're not using any gly.

That's what I heard. You can eat. Apparently you can go eat it, you know, in Europe, and it's fine. I remember I took a test finally, and it was like, I. It was like one of those, like, internet blood test things. I came up allergic to not even the gluten, it's like gliadin, which is like another protein inside of wheat, which I don't know if it's at the same thing or what. It's just like an allergy to it. I showed it to Shane, it was moderate and he goes, moderate, you're a pussy.

Have a pizza.

I was like, fuck. Why did I show you? He was always like, everyone's like, it's fake, it's in your head, you're full of shit. So I finally have proof. I'm like, what are you gonna do about it now? It's moderate, pfft, fuck you.

It's one of the worst intolerances to have because the food is so delicious. Think about it, spaghetti, lasagna, bread, sandwiches.

I don't, and eating the gluten-free bread is not, at that point you just go like, I'm not eating bread. It's not really good. In order to make it good, you have to put so much shit in it that you're like, I might as well not eat it. I've been off gluten since I was 21.

Wow.

And then anytime I would backslide at a restaurant where they cook with it and stuff, it would, you know, me up. Weirdly enough, though, if I get enough sunlight, I it, like, my. I can tolerate a lot more stuff.

I guarantee that's a vitamin D thing.

I I think. I don't know. It's weird, man. Every time I go to a doctor, they're just like, bro, I don't know. I don't know what to tell you.

Well, vitamin D is good for your immune system, and these are autoimmune issues. It makes sense that they would kind of be connected somehow or another.

Yeah. Because I I couldn't eat after the gluten. It was like, then I couldn't eat dairy. And then every time I'd get sunlight, I could eat the day.

It's How nuts is the sunlight thing? Like for so long people are saying, Stay out of the sun. Sun's gonna kill you.

It's crazy.

And now they're going, no, no, no, you need to get in the sun or you're gonna die.

I know. What's the new, we got the new food pyramid now?

I know. Well, a lot of people are so angry. They're so angry at RFK Jr. for flipping the food pyramid, but there's so much evidence that this is the accurate way to eat. This is the way people are supposed to be eating. It's like whole foods, like actual food, like vegetables, meat, meat, fish. Like, that's what you're supposed to eat. Like, actual food that people have been eating for thousands of years. That's how you're supposed to eat, dude.

That's the one. That's the stuff, the backlash against them that I'm like, I don't get it, man. It's like getting, like, the weird out of foods that they don't have in Europe for, like, schools and stuff.

And it's like, I was always the left wings position. I do. It was like, no preservatives, no additives, natural foods.

I know that. And that's the thing, too. Like, I I love, like, because I have all these food allergies, so, like, I gotta go to, like, a kind of like rainbow flag restaurant. That's the only place I can eat from. So I'm like, I know you guys like this. Why are you pretending to not like getting rid of like red 40 and all that?

Because it's connected with Trump. Because RFK Jr. Is a part of this party. We're part of this administration. And so it became a political thing. People are just so silly. They'd rather commit suicide. They rather poison themselves than admit that he's right.

It's insane. Just like, dude, just give him one and be like, all right, that's actually

But it's that resistance to recognizing maybe this person that I don't agree with because he's connected to this other person I don't agree with, maybe he's got some good points. Maybe if a person that was like someone that I aligned with ideologically had the same points, I would be like, Yes, thank you. Yes, these preservatives are terrible. Yes, these dyes are terrible. Yes, this is bad. Bad for you. Yes. You should have warning labels. Yes. Other countries have banned these products. Why do we have them? Yes, dude.

And especially, like, if you have kids, it's like, dude, you worry more about that than, like, your kids not eating a bunch of crazy.

Yeah.

It's like, dude, just let it go. You can be like, all right, like, I don't like this, but that's right. I like that. Let's let them cook on that.

And it's like, so many people that aren't religion, don't have religion in their life. They worship science, like. They treat it as if this is like a doctrine and a dogma, and if you don't support it, you're a heretic. There's something wrong with you. It's like, well, do you know those people? These scientists, like a lot of them are fucking severely compromised. They're compromised by financial incentives. They're compromised by academic incentives. They're trapped in these systems where you're forced to have group think. You have this top-down control. The people that are at the top are controlled and connected to these pharmaceutical drug companies. They're pushing these ideas. Like, this isn't all clean. Yeah.

They're hanging with Epstein, too.

And, I know, isn't that crazy?

He loves scientists, man. Thank God I wasn't a scientist.

Is that weird?

Yeah. It's so fucking creepy. Yeah. And the science dude, the science shit is like, I do know this from going to a master's. I know you need to understand statistics. You need like a very serious understanding of statistics to actually make sense of those studies. And I never was able to do that, but it's like, you can read those studies and like, oh, look at this, it's a graph, everything's going up and it's like, yeah, but, like, what was, like, the percentage of the. What this? And it's, like, statistics is for real, like, magic to me, where it's like, it's so slippery and weird and, like, you can make one thing look this way, and it's. You can arrange the data in a different way, and you're like, oh, the thing went up, and now this is better.

It's like, well, that's what pharmaceutical drug companies do, for sure. They'll. They'll run multiple studies and then throw out all the ones that show no efficacy and even hide dangerous side effects. They hide them.

Yeah, I think they're allowed to do as many, I remember reading a book on antidepressants like years and years ago and I think they were allowed to do as many studies as it needed to show basically what they wanted to say, which wasn't even good. It was like 50%.

We had a lawyer in here that he'd worked on cases with pharmaceutical drug companies and one of the things that he said that was really crazy was he found out that the pharmaceutical drug companies don't, when they get peer reviewed, when their papers get peer reviewed. They don't have to give the data to the scientists. They give their review of the data to the scientists, and then it gets peer review.

Damn. That's like, yeah, that's crazy.

So rigged.

Remember the study that was like, if you drink one glass of wine, you're gonna be healthy? Yeah, that was complete. That was made by a body of science that was, like, promoted by the big alcohol companies. It was completely false. I know so many people are. They were like, dude, it's good for me. Oh, I need. I need alcohol every day.

They were also saying resveratrol. That was one.

Yeah. The grape. And it's also just like, you eat a grape, then.

Well, also, take resveratrol. It's a good supplement. And the amount that you get in supplements is, like, far exceeds a glass of wine. You have to drink the whole bottle.

Yeah.

And then you're hammered. And

you're drunk.

Liver's destroyed.

Yeah. That always threw me off. And I remember, I remember at the time being like, there's. No way. That's true.

Yeah.

No, you hang out more and you're less lonely.

And I think there's something to the relaxation of alcohol that, like, at least it makes you feel better. And I think feeling better is a part of, like, having a better life and having a better, a healthier mind. Because there's something about people that are just riddled with anxiety and thinking about things all the time. There's a lot of people out there that are just, they don't have the tools to navigate. To navigate this up world. And so they're all a little drinky poo every now and then. Maybe not bad for them. Maybe a little. Just it juice.

Like, yeah, true. If you drop the cortisol at night,

a little bit, a little relaxation. There's a lot of people that, like, one of the only things keeping them hanging on is a drink at night, you know, just a little drink, just nothing crazy.

Yeah.

Getting, killing yourself.

Yeah. I wouldn't want to take that from somebody either.

Yeah. I don't want to take that from people.

That's true. I wouldn't want to take that, but it is. It's just. It's just nuts to be like, this is actually really good for you. It's like, well, it's lesser two evils for sure. It's like, or when they try to

say that like Froot Loops were healthier for you than ground beef, wasn't that one of the studies?

Was it really?

Like they had comparisons, like they had a chart, like where things fit on the healthy versus not healthy.

That's fucking insane. Well, the old food pyramid was the best. It was like cereal, bread, and pasta. That was what you're supposed to eat, like base.

Yeah, food.

You're supposed to be charged on just fucking like elbow macaroni. It was like, I was for real growing up. That's what it was. I remember.

Meanwhile, people in France, they're eating loaves of bread and they don't get fat.

I know.

And they're healthy.

I know. It is fucking weird.

We're getting poisoned.

Yeah. Everyone who comes here from another country is like, I feel horrible.

They have a hot dog and they're fucking vomiting in the trash can. All right, dog, let's wrap this up.

Can I, one more thing?

Yeah. Please.

Going around, Rexner's deposition from the oversight committee came out like the full video did today. And there's this clip going around that I don't know what the context is. I'll show you. It's on the screen right now, Joe.

Okay.

I just want to play it and see.

He says, I'll kill you if you answer another question with more than five words. Okay, I'm going to answer not the question.

I'm going to answer the five words.

Okay.

Answer the. Okay.

He seems like he's joking. Yeah, he's like it, but he wants him to answer questions very short answers.

I keep seeing people saying you're not allowed to be coached in a deposition.

Oh, that makes sense. I don't know if this is. I'll kill you if you answer another question with more than five words. Okay. That's hilarious that he thought he could whisper that.

That's crazy. That's so fucked up.

But what is their relationship? Like, they fuck around like that?

Yeah, yeah.

It's hard to say what that is.

It almost was kind of charming. I'm like, that was kind of like sweet actually in some weird way.

He's saying,

fucking kill you.

His answers in this are pretty tough already, I can see. He's like, I had no idea. They're like, you stealing money from me? ABC reported this five years ago. I was like, fucking crazy. That's news to me.

He didn't know that Epstein was stealing money from him.

That's what he's saying in some of these clips here. We'll see how this where this goes.

Yeah, true.

If nothing ever happens, people are going to lose all faith in everything. Yeah. Nothing happens from all this. If Prince Andrew's the only one who goes down, what if he just gets a slap on the wrist?

He's completely going to get a slap on the. He's not going to, like, maximum security. He's not going to, like, Oz. He's not going to be in there, like, doing burpees and. He's going to be in protective custody.

I never thought he's only in jail for 11 hours. He's technically out now, right?

But he's gonna be tried. Right.

We'll see.

Well, see. I mean, the thing is, like, I never thought he'd be arrested. I never thought that would happen. I thought, like, they'd strip him of his prince ship or whatever it is. That's it. Banishing him to a cat. And then they. They kicked him out of the estate. I was like, whoa, things are getting serious.

Yeah, I think they saw.

I think they got to see the stuff in there. They must.

Yeah.

Yeah. All right, let's wrap this up. It's been a lot of fun hanging. Hell yeah. Club. It's been good times, dude.

Been. Dude, it's been awesome.

It's fun watching your act grow. Pro, too. It's really funny, man.

Thank you.

Really great. And you're aware this weekend?

Salt Lake. Salt Lake City in Boise, Idaho.

So go get some tickets, folks. Go see them. Matt McCusker. Hilarious.

Appreciate you, brother.

Thank you. Very funny. Bye, everybody.