Transcript of Will Ferrell Shows Off His Body | Hour 2 New

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Zaz, from the World Cup, uh, and you took, uh, Somerville's name and just made him Buddy earlier, so you might not be the perfect person to ask this question, but the last 30 minutes of that game yesterday. They had 2 touches in Morocco's penalty box. They got 0 shots on goal in the last 30 minutes. They had the ball 17% of the time. So they went to a conservative style. They should have all been wearing Cedric Coward's jersey running around back there, and they're getting crushed for it today. I want to talk about penalty kicks for a second because I think they're perfect in the attention deficit disorder era. It's perfect to just make it maximum stakes and just have guys kicking the ball at the goalie, and It's just a lot of fun. But I wouldn't want to be the favorite and have the game decided by the other team trying to just get me to penalty kicks because then whatever advantages I had before are eliminated and we are now doing something that, as I said before, is no longer actually soccer. It's just— there's no way— there's no movement involved. Like, it's, it's, it's asinine as a concept, even though there are no better ones in all the time.

With this very primitive game, uh, we haven't figured out a way— you can't have them go 7 overtimes, the, the bodies can't handle that. So you have to have something that decides the game. And while it's entertaining, you'd agree with me that it's not a great metric for who's deciding who's better, right?

No, of course not. But you're, you're saying this as if this is a new strategy. Wouldn't a strategy like this, where you got one team who is significantly better than the other they're trying to avoid going to penalties because that winds up leveling out the differences between the two teams. Like, this can't possibly be a new strategy.

No, it's not. It's not. This has been something that on the international level they've been dealing with since the '90s.

There's no way to stop it. Right.

And I actually like that part of the strategy of the game. And you want to say that it's not reflective of what the sport is. Well, there's a reason why they went to this, because long, drawn-out Golden Goal type competitions were also bastardizing the sport. And that was before possession had such an emphasis on it, where you see a team like Japan chasing the ball, being dog tired, hoping against hope that they can just get to penalty kicks because they are being run out of a building. That's not a true way to determine who's best either.

The penalty kicks, I've got to assume wherever it is that you are, you will stop and watch that.

Oh yeah.

Like if you are somebody who doesn't care even for the sport, the idea that you're watching, as I've said before, of the World Cup. We have all the sports here. We have 50 teams in just New York that play a bunch of different sports. But so many of these countries, those colors are what they wear around because it's their only thing. They don't have anything else. This is so much bigger than the Olympics in terms of patriotic pride is the greatest thing that you have in sports, but especially in these— I can't even imagine what it's like in Morocco. I can't imagine what it's like in these small countries where they're looking at things and they're knocking off giants.

Dan, this is the biggest rift between me and Witty and Mike, is that they put so much emphasis, importance on club play. And I keep telling them, you guys can say that, you guys could say all the best players in the EPL, whatever, but if you poll every single one of those players and say, what is the greatest accomplishment you can have, they will all say to a man, to win a World Cup. That is the number one thing on on everyone's mind who plays this game, whether you're barefoot in a vacant lot in São Paulo or you're playing in an academy with manicured grass and all that stuff. Everyone's dream is this thing. It happens once every 4 years, and it is— man, I was getting into this last night with my co-host on the radio while I was doing free agency radio on NBA Radio. He just couldn't understand. He's like, "What do you mean Messi's more popular than LeBron?" And I was like, "Buddy, you're putting me in a horrible situation here where I have to be the guy who defends Messi and has to stick up for him. But I'm like, it's not on NBA Radio, but it's not even close.

It's not even close. Uh, and so I said, this is one metric and it's just a rough one. I said, how many Instagram followers do you think LeBron has? Like 100 million? It's like 150, 150 million. I said, how many do you think Messi has? So, well, he probably has more. Was that like 250? I was like, it's 450, 511 million followers, dude. Half a billion people follow this guy. And his response, I swear to God, is like, yeah, but how many of those are bought?

I love the international game. I think the point that you're referring to is maybe the quality isn't as good, but even the quality of the international game where it was compared to the club game, not as good. That's changing too because of all the data afforded to these coaches and coaches that have like getting to be a credentialed coach in Europe is a process. You have to go through training. It is an education. You go through tiers, you get your, your, your medals, and you, you go through an academy to become a coach. These coaches are so smart. They have so much data available to them. I was always like, man, let's counterattack for the USA. Let's dig deep. We don't have these guys in camp for long and kick it deep and use our athletes. And we changed our style because our training methods are different, the science is different, and we figured that that was the best way to use our athletes. So the international game, I think, is becoming way more appealing. And to your point about PKs, that transcends. You can get someone that hates, actively hates soccer, and if they're walking past a bar television and they see PKs on, they're gonna stop.

Whereas if it's Golden Goal, they'll just keep moving on with their day.

How did Ted Lasso get the job?

How would you guys feel about, uh, the Super Bowl being decided in overtime by all of the players coming out and having to kick football through a swinging tire? Like, I'm asking the question. Yeah. Now I'm not— I'm no longer making it a— the quarterbacks throwing it through a swinging tire, because I think we'd all like that. I think all of us would enjoy both quarterbacks going at each other with a swinging tire. But now I'm just making it 5 guys from each team have to come out here and they have to kick the ball. They have to kick the ball through a swinging tire. How would you feel about the Super Bowl being decided that way by some sort of skills competition?

But then when you said, oh, I have to switch from the quarterback because that would be too fun. That's the point. That's what PKs are. It's like, this isn't football, but it's like, it's fun. And so that's, that's the idea there. I think people would actually like it more than just interminable overtime period after overtime period after overtime period.

The Dolphins winning the Super Bowl from throwing a ball through a tire would be a little bit of a letdown.

And I imagine most of these games without the penalty kicks probably end on a penalty kick, as we saw with Japan, who is so disciplined. When you get fatigued, you make mental mistakes, uncharacteristically so, as Japan made one in their own end. You get tired, and what will happen is you'll have someone dragging their leg inside the box, and the game ends on a PK anyways.

Uh, Juju, put it on the poll: does fatigue make Cedric cowards of us all? @LeBittardShow. Uh, I wanted to talk about something here that, uh, has escaped a lot of attention, even though I think it deserves more. Uh, Clint Eastwood is retiring, has retired. Now there seems to be some conjecture in his own family about this. He's 96 years old and one of his sons says he's retired and another one of his sons says, I have not heard that come out of his mouth. But Clint Eastwood has worked for 7 decades in Hollywood.

Take a break.

That has to be, uh, one of the most prolific careers there have been. People in Hollywood talk about the way that Clint Eastwood was, uh, directing movies at the end. Have you guys heard about how Clint Eastwood directs movies?

He's—

it's like he's running out of time. Like, he does not go and do the perfect shot, the perfect shot, the perfect shot. And this may explain why so many of his movies recently have been bad. Ridley Scott's doing the exact same thing, just doing it as quickly as he can. But 96 years old is an incredible full retirement age. 96 is nuts. I think Juror #2 is the last movie that he made.

You know what I think about when I hear Clint Eastwood? I always think about him talking to the chair. Like, yo, I'm sorry, like, I know we're supposed to be honoring this guy right now, like, what a great career and all that. Get out of here, man. That dude talked to a chair, trying to tell us the chair is telling us that that's Obama or whatever.

I think of how he became a comedic actor in Gran Torino. That movie's hilarious.

I think of Trouble with the Curve with Amy Adams and Justin Timberlake.

I think of The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.

Ah, yeah, what's that? Million Dollar Baby.

So he's won— I, I think he's won a couple of Best Picture awards as a director, and I think he has won a couple of Oscars as, um, the lead as well. Can you look that up for me, Jeremy, please? Uh, look up for me what Clint Eastwood's resume looks like. And Roy, you should find the sound. We play it all the time. We played it all the time on Wild Billy Wednesdays. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly and the spaghetti western is where Clint Eastwood made his initial fame. Uh, if I, if I ask you guys though to take one of his movies and make it the thing that you remember him by, uh, not Talking to a Chair, not some of the other stuff that's, that's apart from that, uh, the westerns are so long ago. Like, they're, they're where it is that he broke in. That would be my— it'd be in my top 100 movie sounds of all time. My top 50, probably.

I've done this before.

Well, you just can't do a lot better than that.

Hopefully 50s a lot.

Are you saying like, what's his signature role? You'll have some people say Dirty Harry, but I— this might be a generational thing. I know Jeremy hasn't seen it, but you guys have seen The Good, the Bad, the Ugly, right?

Of course.

You haven't, Zazz?

I don't think I have.

That ain't about movies, man. Come on.

Have you seen it? All right, Roy, I— tell me you have. Yeah, that's why you're a trivia pick every single time.

I mean, of course I've seen it.

It absolutely holds up. It is an incredible classic film.

Unforgiven is his, and that's the '90s, right? That was bringing back The Western, that, that's among the best modern-day Westerns, if indeed we can. I don't think we can call '90s modern day.

That movie rules.

It's oldies. It did. Unforgiven. What were the movies that he won Oscars for?

Mystic River, Unforgiven, and Million Dollar Baby were the only things he won. He won Best Picture and Best Director for both of those. He never won a Best Actor Academy Award.

He wasn't that great of an actor. We could say that, right? He wasn't that great of an actor.

I don't know.

There was a really good actor.

He wasn't.

That was Joe Biden.

I think I'm all right.

That was Joe Biden, not Clint Eastwood.

It really was Joe Biden.

You're a good boxer. I think you're going to be all right.

What else did he win Best Picture for? Because he's got two of each, does he not? Does he not have—

Perpetually nominated.

It's Best Picture and Best Director for both of those movies, for Unforgiven and Million Dollar Baby. He was nominated for Best Picture and Best Director for Mystic River. He did not win.

Should have won that.

For Letters from Iwo Jima. And he was nominated for Best Picture for American Sniper, which, you know, love that one.

That's a good one. By the way, John Morant fits in perfectly in Portland.

Yes, he does.

He did win the Golden Globe for Best Director for Bird, for Unforgiven, for Million Dollar Baby, and he won Best Foreign Language Film for Letters from Iwo Jima.

See, nice.

That's it. Iwo Jima's in Japan.

Were you saying sea like is S-E-A? There's a sea near Japan? Like, surely you were not— you were not using Spanish for what?

What do you think he was?

Why did— why did you—

what happened?

I didn't hear the title of the film. I just— he said foreign language and I was—

where did you think it was?

Right near Rocky Point.

I know, I'm not going to take it quick.

So you just— you just— you heard foreign language and you went with the one foreign word that you knew, which was sea.

Iwo Jima, right near the Baja.

Tomo origami.

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Dan Levitar.

The Packers win or the Bears lose?

Jonathan Sasslow. Shitty, you want to know how that— what were the kids doing? This is the Dan Levitar Show.

96 years old, uh, at the end here, uh, about a year ago, Gene Hackman, uh, was fairly unrecognizable in his 90s, no longer looked like the human being that he used to be. Uh, Clint Eastwood retiring at the age of 96 is fairly extraordinary because he's made a movie— when was Juror Number Two, uh, made, Jeremy?

So he's—

that one sucked.

Yeah, but he was doing movies late into his 90s. And I, I genuinely wonder, if you're a Hollywood person in charge of giving out budgets Do you give it to the 95-year-old? Like, because it seemed— it seems fairly dangerous for a number of different reasons that I'm hoping don't sound ageist. But once you've gotten to 95 years old, I would think that there would be dangers in giving a movie project over to somebody who might not be able to complete it.

You're bartering off of his name and his name recognition within a certain demographic. So all the older people who remember Clint Eastwood movies will still come out. Maybe it's not for a younger demographic, but for the people whose name his name resonates with because of the great movies that he's directed and/or produced, they'll come out. And that's what all Hollywood is now. It's just like, do you have a fan base? You have a following that will come out and support your product.

Turn number 2 was 2024.

So he's 94 years old at the time.

Man, he deserved a better—

He did Sully.

He deserved a better goodbye.

Uh, when you mention, I mean, what Hollywood is doing right now, I assume that's what Hollywood and Netflix were doing with that godforsaken Tony Hinchcliffe special, which has taken down because it's so bad, because it was popular, because he's got a following. But it's an affront to stand-up comedy and to specials.

Subjective.

Uh, and I, I think, I think they just removed it. I'm stunned that he even put it out. I'm assuming it was part of his Kill Tony deal. Kill Tony is very popular, but the stand-up special was an abomination. It's one of the least well-done things, and lazy on top of that, like spectacularly lazy. It was just really bad. I couldn't get through it.

His explanation is that he owns the rights to to it. And so the license with Netflix expired, and that's why it was taken down, because he owns the rights. He can sell it or lease it out somewhere else. He could put on his own platform and charge people. Again, this is his explanation. I'm not—

I know—

I don't know anybody. I haven't talked to anybody. I'm just a guy.

I mean, he should be embarrassed by that. Like, that being put out with his name on it is something that he should be deeply embarrassed by. It is so spectacularly lazy to be offensive to anybody who's ever tried comedy or knows what the honor of getting a special is. But it is— it is what Netflix is doing some of, just grabbing people who have social media followings and throwing them on there because you can bring their audience over, even if it's lazy and dumb what you're doing.

So what was your favorite joke?

Yeah, I mean, really, we're going to do chicken jokes on Black people. That's what we're going to do. Like, that's really what we're going to do. That's, that's what we're going to do in 2026.

Yeah.

The term spaghetti western is because a lot of Italians produced and directed those movies.

Yes.

Are you just learning this now?

Are you?

Let me ask, how old are you? Are you a dumb person?

What's wrong with you?

Are you a dumb person? Dan normally asks me for the origin of stuff. I was just getting ahead of it. Dumb person.

Yeah.

Yeah.

My specialty. Your Clint Eastwood is Joe Biden and those two people.

No, Joe Biden's right here, man.

He said domo origami.

We weren't supposed to hear the end of that.

Yeah, you pulled away from the mic.

Toy Armageddon!

For those of you who want more Chris Cody, Pablo Torre Finds Out features him today.

Super smart.

He stole the show Chris Cody did on Pablo Torre Finds Out in an episode released today where he cops to lowering Pablo Torre's standard because I have to be one of the few people in charge of anything who is demanding that his employees lower their standards because Pablo's going to fry if he keeps going at the pace that he is going at.

Make worse shows.

He's going to short circuit. And so I'm actively telling him to lower the standard. And he does so today by featuring prominently Chris Cody is right there on Pablo Torre Finds Out, right at the center of everything. Although you will be denied his Clint Eastwood Joe Biden impersonation. That's exclusive to this show right here. We will not farm that out to anybody. No one else can have Chris Cody's Clint Eastwood as Joe Biden.

You give him the milk, you can't give away the cow.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, cows and hogs kill more people than sharks. I cannot believe that. So you guys are not surprised by that at all? I'm assuming that when these polls— when we update these polls with Juju, I'm assuming that the American people and internationally, they will side with me. They will be surprised that cows and hogs kill more people than sharks. We need to start making cow horror movies. We need to start making a movie like Jaws that is instead moose?

Well, I mean, well, you gotta think of it as a crime of opportunity, Dan, right? Like, cows and hogs are around people mostly. You very rarely find a wild cow. They exist, right? But like, they're there, right? Meanwhile, sharks, they're in the ocean, often way, way, way far away from any of us. We don't see them most of the time. When they come to shore, it's like a shock. Like, oh my God, a shark's here! And then you add on to that, they don't have a taste for our flesh. They really don't like it. Like, ew, ew, this is gross. I thought you said this was human. Well, seal, this doesn't taste like seal. It tastes like, blah, I don't know what that is. That's the shark, right, when they taste us. So they don't really attack humans because they're not interested. Meanwhile, hogs, they've got a taste for the flesh.

Oh yeah.

They like it.

I saw a video the other day, maybe they can find it for us, of a guy on a kayak who was clearly being trailed by a great white shark. Like, the great white shark was curious about him, and he's on a kayak, and the great white shark is bigger than the kayak, and it's just following him to shore. And that guy paddling terrified with his GoPro just saying, "Oh my God, oh my God," for almost an hour just trying to get away from a shark that, you know, just was super curious about what was happening with that kayak and the size of that kayak because it probably looked like the shape of a seal.

That's what it is. So they attack surfers the most because surfers lie on the surfboard and then they paddle. And so for a shark that doesn't have great eyesight, it's looking up, the sunlight is coming down, and you see a shadow of something very wide and long and then little appendages on the side kind of flapping around. I was like, "Oh, that's a seal!" They go up there and, "Ooh, that's not—

ugh!

What is this?!" That's what they do. So the kayak probably doesn't look quite as much like a seal as a surfer on a surfboard would, but enough for the shark to be like, "What is that?" Why does this show always make apologies for the shark?

It's sickening.

I have a deal with the sharks.

Hey, you spit those facts out, to the, the people that lost their lives tragically on the USS Indianapolis. All right, those sharks seem to like human flesh plenty.

That's a Nicolas Cage vehicle, right?

It's a historical vehicle. It's something that actually happened. But yes, there's a movie starring Nicolas Cage that documents this tragedy.

Thank you.

It's actually pretty good.

And that is why Chris Cody is starring on today's Pablo Torre Finds Out, which begins the lowering of Pablo Torre's general standing.

Bye, Chris.

Uh, let's, uh, let's go watch Trigger the Elevator. Let's go to the, uh, the video. Grab some video for me while you guys are looking up that kayaker who's being trailed by a great white shark so that I can show it to everybody because it's, it's horrifying. Uh, Will Ferrell. Uh, Will Ferrell has been, uh, somebody who has not been doing very much lately that has resonated. Uh, comedy aging, uh, it usually ages poorly.

And on top of that, comedies Huge breaking news out of Washington, D.C. What? This one affects every sport, including the World Cup. The Supreme Court has upheld birthright citizenship, rejecting Donald J. Trump's proposed limits. Yeah, that is massive.

All right, yeah, USA, USA, USA, USA!

Thomas is definitely going to be retiring, and that, that was done apparently in a backroom deal, and Donald Trump is going to get another young Supreme Court justice. That's probably the bad news. That and he was awarded the power to fire any independent evaluator that he sees fit in the government.

But let's be happy today.

But this is great. Yeah, look, give us our 30 minutes.

USA!

Flo Balogun, birthright citizen.

Woo!

I really thought we were gonna get more Bronny James news.

I was looking for some NBA news there.

Also, Christopher Morel has signed with the New York Mets.

Yeah, Sam Raimi's brother.

As I was saying about comedies in general, uh, have, uh, last 10 years of movies, I guess people aren't in the mood to laugh or comedy is harder to make in movie form. I don't know what you guys would say is the best comedy made in the last 10 years if you had to make a, a choice. The, the one that people were talking about together at a time, uh, you know, was Hangover, and Adam McKay made an assortment of movies from Anchorman to Step Brothers that, uh, that were very popular and responsible for funny for a generation, but it's been about 10 years since any movie like that resonated. Will Ferrell was at the center of many of these. What is he advertising for here? Do you know what this is a commercial for?

Well, it's— I think it's actually a commercial for his new show, but it's through Skims, which is Kim Kardashian's underwear brand. Apparently they do men's and he is here, what looks to me like a Speedo, but apparently it's some Skims underwear. And he's just looking— it looks— I mean, who are we kidding here? He looks good.

Well, uh, no, he's not. You must be kidding everybody because his face looks—

he's an old man. Look at him.

Well, we can all hope. How old is he?

He's like— is he approaching 60?

I hope I look like that at 60.

He has to be 60. Has to be.

No, is he? I think he's in— I'm— I would guess mid-50s. Uh, but those are tighty whities or tighty whitey adjacent, and he's doing physical comedy there. His face is as thin as it's ever been, uh, but those are not flattering. That, that would be—

58, Dan.

So he's my age.

And he's got that belly button you want to avoid, there's no doubt about it.

So he's your age. All right, let's compare and contrast.

Yeah, similar.

Getting your tighty whities.

Yeah, he's got a great farmer's tan going.

I'd rather have Will Ferrell's body than my body. So you think that that's what my stomach looks like? Because it's not what my stomach looks like. But now you guys are gonna force me to do this. Uh, that, that's not a great look for the audio.

Tomorrow's show, that exact outfit. I'm not gonna get to the Grid of Death, that's for sure. Damn it, he loves the costume.

I wouldn't love that costume.

He's done it before though.

Yeah, I have, but I, I, I trained for that by juicing and by doing an assortment of body paint and stuff.

Oh, you're on peptides?

Distracting techniques and stuff. So you don't want to do it again? I mean, A Speedo is aggressive. I don't think I— there are not a lot of hiding places in a Speedo. I didn't think there was any chance I was going to lose that bet. It was LeBron and Wade and Bosh against Dirk Nowitzki and DeShawn Stevenson. How did I lose that bet? How did— I didn't think there was any circumstance in which I would lose that bet. I didn't think there was any circumstance in which Charles Barkley would pay that bet because he was going to be in the Speedo if he lost that bet, allegedly. But there's just no way that he would have ever been caught in a Speedo. Although maybe now, maybe now Charles has lost a ton of weight. Charles He, uh, in fact—

And you found it.

Yeah. Why was that delivered in Zagacki's voice?

You know why?

I don't know why. I don't know why you just did that.

Sorry, I'm upset at this ruling. Call it that.

Birth citizenship is what you're upset about?

I'm happy about it, man.

Is that Clint Eastwood?

No, I'm Joe.

His impersonation is just his hands. Like, if he doesn't—

I don't know why.

If he doesn't do Joe Biden with the hands.

Come on, man, we got to come together.

Hands up, it's Biden. Hands down, Clinton.

Dan Levitar. World Rawr 3.

Mike Ryan.

We're going to get that off the air.

World Rawr 3: Our group chat has a pretty good feeling about this one. This is the Dan Levitar Show. Why did Pablo ask you on his show? So again, what do you find out together?

Range.

Pablo Torre Finds Out features Chris Cody today, and I urge you to listen to Pablo on Next Steps because he's actually— this one's interesting to me, and I don't think it would be something that would afflict any of us here. One of the things that I was talking to Pablo about is the idea of ambition, how lonely ambition can be, and how insatiable ambition can be. Immediately after winning the Pulitzer, a prize that not many people in America care about anymore, but Pablo cares about it, I care about it, and some select journalists care about it, although I heard from none of them when we won the Pulitzer. Not a single one. I did not hear from a single—

Who disappointed you the most?

I mean, it's just, there's so many, so many. Like, there's not—

Did you not hear from Kornheiser?

He did good work. There's not a journalism friend of mine who reached out, not one.

Not Michael Keaton in that movie?

Nobody.

Add that to the list of friends?

I, I, they all, I guess they all hit me up. I was supposed to tell you.

Nobody reached out, but the winning of a Pulitzer, Pablo's immediate reaction to that, and I found it so curious, and it's why I'm in the weird position of urging him at all times to lower his standards slightly so that he can be having more fun and so that he can turn that into the equivalent of a radio show that is personality-driven that doesn't require all of these deep dive investigations that take so much time. He's doing the hardest thing the hardest way. And upon winning the Pulitzer, his immediate reaction is, now what are the expectations? Now what's the pressure? And I'm like, what are you talking about? Like, behave like you've arrived, because you have arrived. You have an audience. The hardest thing to do, the hardest thing to do in this business, an audience that trusts to take them where you're going. There's nothing harder. You can go ahead and live the rest of your life. You'll find nothing harder than finding the audience that trusts you so much that they'll be loyal to you because they believe that the things you're making are things worth listening to.

I can think of something that's a little harder— winning a Pulitzer.

Yeah, I disagree.

There are a lot less Pulitzer winners than there are people with audiences.

There are not.

Not even Dave Barry.

Nobody. Nobody. I heard from nobody.

Wow.

Zero people.

That really chapped you, huh?

I was just surprised by it. And it just taught me—

Seems like you're hurt.

No, it taught me that people don't care about this thing anymore. Like, it's an obvious— to me, it was more sad for the industry than it was sad for myself, because when I called Pablo to congratulate him, he had to remind me that I had also won a Pulitzer because— that we had won a Pulitzer because because we're funding everything that Pablo is doing until it has now become a viable business. And I'll tell you guys here, everyone I talk to, everyone I talk to, all of— here's another group of friends, my financial friends, my financial advisor friends.

Add it to the list.

All of them said to me before the Pulitzer was won, they're like, Dan, banks don't take awards. Like, you as a company, you have to make sure that what you're interested in the most is profit, not awards. This award though is a bankable award, that it's not a bankable award that most people who are listening to this care about in any way. And I would argue, I mean, an audience that trusts you and will go wherever it is that you are in sports, I think there are fewer of those than you think there are when every year there are many Pulitzer winners. But there are not many audiences in sports that trust their host to— wherever that host goes, they will follow that host because they trust that the things being made will be good things. I don't know.

And then you talk about, obviously I did a lot of research when it happened, like how many times does a sports story win a Pulitzer? 'Cause again, when Pablo told me the news, I said, "Wow, that's cool, we won the sports Pulitzer." And he said, "No, no, there's no such thing as a sports Pulitzer, it's just the Pulitzer." And so when you look at that, the number of stories that are sports-related that have won are very limited and they're usually, again, stuff that speaks to anybody, any citizen, regardless of whether they know or care about the sport or not. So a lot of them have actually been in local reporting and kind of things of that nature. So I don't think when you talk about a sports— a sports story winning a Pulitzer, it's comparable to the number of people that we know have audiences, and we know it because they find themselves getting all types of deals and stuff because of those audiences.

Fair enough. Which do you think is more valuable? Let's ask the question that way. Which do you think is more valuable, an audience that trusts you or a Pulitzer? Sir.

Dan, the virtue of having something excellent is payment enough.

Not Jeremy Shapp. Bob Lee.

You don't, you don't think, Dan, that there's a, there's a value that's not— I know we live in a capitalist society and we have to monetize everything, but isn't there a value in there that, hey, I don't get an extra dollar out of this, but you're gonna have to call me Pulitzer Prize-winning Amin El-Hassan for the rest of my life?

Charles Bricker.

Oh.

What the hell sound was that?

You remember Charles Bricker?

I don't think—

you know what Charles Bricker is?

I don't think anybody is going to be calling you Pulitzer Prize winner Amin Elhassan for the rest of your life.

They have to.

What do you mean they have to?

They have to. I correct them. Hey, hey, I'm at a cocktail party. Hey, you gotta meet my buddy Amin. Like, that's not my name. My name is Pulitzer Prize-winning Amin Elhassan.

Are you guys going to come up with a comedy in the last 10 years that everyone is— everyone who's listening to this would say, yes, that's the That's the one. Yes, that's the one. That's the, that's the movie that was made that is funny because that's a fairly startling thing to have happen, don't you think? The, the fact that we all kind of want to laugh and movies are an escape. So I would assume that during these particular difficult times, people would want that escape even more. And yet Hollywood is having all sorts of trouble making movies that are funny. Funny.

I don't know if it's classified as a comedy, but I think Barbie was a comedy. No?

Yeah.

And everyone— and everyone saw that.

That's a great one. I mean, thank you, Pulitzer Prize winner.

Thank you.

See, when I think of Barbie though, I put it— I put comedy, uh, a distant second to, uh, of our times and about female empowerment, making fun of men.

So wait, so comedies can't have a message in it?

Yes, of course they can, but I'm— but when the message is a serious one about our times, it's generally not what I associate with.

Why are you doing that?

I think comedies are empty calories. What do you mean, why am I doing that?

I believe it was nominated by the Golden Globes as Best Picture Comedy.

You know what, Dan?

So is The Martian, by the way.

Oh yeah, that's not a comedy.

That's a real knee-slapper.

Why are you tearing it down, Dan?

Well, you want—

I mean, why do you always— may I give you some feedback? All right, yeah, you often do this where you're like, can someone answer this question for me? And we like, we were like, let's get Dan this question, answer Let's do our very best. Let's put our minds together. Let's give him an answer that'll make him proud. And you know what he does?

What does he do?

Nah, that's not good enough. I'll change. Let me move the goalpost. Barbie's a comedy.

Put it on the poll. Was Barbie a comedy at Le Batard Show? And then put it on the poll as well. Was Barbie first and foremost a comedy?

There you go.

You're literally picking up the goalpost and moving them to the next county.

You know what's funny about that saying? You can move the goalposts and the scoring place still becomes the same. The goalposts, like, you can move the goalposts all you want, but the goal line stays where it is. That's where the touchdown is. Move the goalposts back and forth all you want, the scoring is the same at the goal line.

Why don't you ever get a piece of helpful information from us and say, guys, domo arigatō?

Yeah, what, what is it that you said? Do you remember what it is that you said?

Don't origami.

So how would you feel about the Super Bowl being decided by just bringing the kickers out and kicking field goals?

Many of them are like— so many Super Bowls are decided this way. So many huge games are decided by it.

How about a sumo wrestling match between your biggest players in the middle of the field? You put a circle, sumo wrestling.

If you're, if you're arguing whether like soccer actually has it right, because you'll have the moment where Messi or Ronaldo step over over the ball in the NFL. It's not Tom Brady, it's Gostowski.

What if, what if the NFL had penalty shootouts with field goals but not with the kickers? You gotta have like— so I gotta see what kind of leg Mahomes has.

Zach Seeler out there trying to kick a field goal. I think it'd be a little bit like Greg Cody, tear his quad. Uh, why were you on NBA Radio arguing pro Messi when I think you are America's foremost Messi critic?

I, I, well, I host the show, that's why I was on NBA Radio. But, uh, the— so as I was mentioning earlier, my co-host just could not believe that Messi was a far bigger deal than, than LeBron. And I said, it's not even close. And so he's like, well, what about this? What about that? And so I said, I says to him, what's the second biggest sport in the world? And he says, cricket. I said, okay, yeah, cricket's number 2. And then I said, name a cricket player. He couldn't. I said, that's my point, that you can acknowledge that there's something massive out there, massive, that is completely out of your, your purview. So yes, it is possible that the most popular player, the most popular athlete in the world is Leo Messi, even though you exist in this bubble where LeBron is the biggest thing.

If Messi is the most famous person in the world, who's second? Like, do you go into entertainment to grab second, or is it going to always be an athlete Like, if Messi is indeed the most famous person in the world, was— is second place from sports or is it from someplace? Is it from music?

Is it—

I don't know. I don't— I think you can hop in any cab anywhere on the planet and strike up a conversation about Messi, Ronaldo. Whereas if you try to enter the very same cab and say Bad Bunny, they may not know what you're talking about.

I'll tell you what, Michael Jackson, he's not alive, but Michael Jackson, absolutely. There's not a place on earth where they don't even speak English where they don't know Michael Jackson.

You guys got any nominees for second place here? Common, like, currently?

Roman Reigns, maybe?