Transcript of What Was The Funniest Thing From The Sports Weekend? | Hour 1

I have 1,112 football observations to make today. Uh, before I make any of them, though, I'd like to do the funniest thing from the sports weekend, because there was plenty to get to. Uh, let's see what we've got here from everybody.

Hey, people. Tell us what in the sport made you laugh hardest this weekend. It is a segment we call, "What Made You Laugh This Weekend." Hahaha.

Chris, Cody, what was the funniest thing from the sports weekend?

Uh, Sean Payton. Nice come-from-behind win in Carolina. In his post-game press conference, he had an odd thing to say to a reporter.

Um, can we not smoke in here? Please. Oh, you're not smoking, you got a pencil. I'm sorry. I thought you were smoking. I owe you. But I was just—I had a flashback thinking, "Who's smoking a cigarette?" All right. I'm sorry. I'll start again, though. Um.

You—you rarely see someone of that kind of ego, uh, publicly ashamed. He was legitimately embarrassed about being wrong in front of people.

Now, the question is, was it a pencil? Like, an old-school pencil? Because that could look like a cigarette, while as a new, like, uh, uh, a pen. A pen would look like a vape.

No one noticed.

Blah, blah, blah. And it was a pen. The guy who—the reporter who did this actually tweeted out, "This is the pen that he thought was a cigarette."

That looks like a cig to me.

Was an e-cigarette. I guess if you have it up to your mouth. I'm assuming he had it, like, up to his mouth.

Yeah, if you're a flapper. If you're from the 1920s. Uh, put that sound, Roy. Find the sound that Chris just made there.

You know, Ryan it.

Uh, let—in that game, by the way, just—I wanted to examine something that turned that game. Because Denver should not have won that game, and I don't think a lot of people noticed the play I'm about to talk about. Carolina's up 14-13. They're on Denver's goal line. They throw the ball to Tommy Tramble, who falls on the ground. He's on his back. The ball hits his splayed hand before bouncing on the turf. And then Devon Key comes and grabs it out of the air.

Uh, that Billy Gayle clip. It was a laugh riot. Not at all an intellectual dead end.

Uh, Jeremy, what was the funniest thing from the sports weekend?

There was a corgi race at that Carolina Panthers game, and it was incredible to see the visual, but there was a corgi on the loose, and Scott Hanson had the call.

We've got a red alert. We go to halftime in Charlotte, North Carolina. Halftime. Entertainment. A corgi race, and a corgi is loose, and the handlers can't handle him. The second half is supposed to be kicking off. They can't get him at the 40. They can't get him at the 45. He's at midfield. The corgi is loose. He's checking to his left, to his right. He's looking at himself on the big video board. And finally, they tackle him, but not until about a 100-yard gain.

I think of the corgi as the least athletic of the dogs. Too long, too fat, legs too short. That sweater was slowing him down.

Forget to dissect that tape. There was some bad tackling going on. Awful tackling for four handlers needing to get to the corgi whose butt is so low to the ground?

Have you seen a Great Dane before?

I think of the corgi as really slow. What you guys just showed me shouldn't have been breaking any tackles. Uh, Roy, what was the funniest thing from the sports weekend?

Bob Browse has led Eastern New Mexico to a 0-10 record.

Hmm. It's hard to make Art Browse funny, but yes. Go ahead and take a chance on Art Browse's Eastern New Mex—uh, New Mexico. It's totally worth it. He'll go 0-10 for you. Uh, Zaz, what was the funniest thing from the sports weekend?

Uh, Dan, over the weekend, the Lakers were playing, but Bronny James was not. All right. Bronny James was caught on the bench with an interaction with a fan sitting courtside, which led to Bronny yelling back to the fan, the fan who must have been overweight, and he says, "Uh, can you run a mile?" And then he asked, "How much money do you make?" I—I think—I think this should be Bronny's new, new gimmick, where just every game he asks the fans around the bench how much money they make.

How do you think this works with LeBron when he sees this?

Oh, it's a text. For sure.

Is this a stern text? Are you getting a phone call from Dad for this?

Uh, uh, uh.

Maybe Savannah? Maybe—maybe LeBron. Maybe LeBron and Bronny are, like, butting heads a lot. So LeBron texts Savannah, "Hey, tell Bronny we can't be doing this." He's not going to listen to me. Maybe he'll listen to you.

Uh, uh, uh.

Considering LeBron said that Bronny can start over half the players in the league, I think LeBron's a little delusional when it comes to Bronny.

Uh, uh, uh.

I see this as a screenshot of the tweet where it says, "Can you run a mile?" That's just texted to him with, like, the emoji where he's kind of wondering what's going on. And then afterward, a quote from Michelle Obama.

Uh, uh, uh. That's edited together. That cut—that's not me.

Somebody explain to me, before I get to my funniest thing, how that Atlanta team went into Lambeau and beat that Green Bay team that way. From what it is that you saw yesterday. And from that Atlanta game, okay? Because Joe Burrow did whatever he wanted in that game. The announcers could not stop talking about how amazed they were that Joe Burrow came into the meeting and said, "I can put the ball wherever I want to." As if Joe Burrow doesn't take every step in the world knowing that. They were stunned that he would say, "I could put the ball wherever I want to."

That's a real name.

It's the best name in the sport. Put it on the Poll at Le Batard Show. Is Devon Diablo the best name in professional football? He's wearing a giant club on his hand because his right hand is broken. So while he is in position to get in the way of Jamar Chase, he's not in position to actually make a catch of any sort because he's just waving his right arm around, and it doesn't work. His right arm is just a club, and he can't play football in a way that catches the ball. But, uh, Jamar Chase catches the ball one-handed.

I always like when the defensive tackle is playing with the huge club. It doesn't seem fair. It's a weapon. He's got a club.

Put it on the Poll at Le Batard Show. If you have a cast on your arm in football, is it a weapon? Uh, should it be allowed? Uh, yes or no? Because, uh, it didn't in any way impede the way the Bengals were throwing the football. Neither, by the way, did Christian Gonzalez impede the way the Packers were throwing the football. How did that happen? He's not healthy, right? They're picking on Christian Gonzalez. Like, what Watson and Golden did. Jordan Love is playing a brand of football different from anyone else in the NFL.

Nice. One of the better guys.

He just signed a contract. Have any of you seen Gonzalez picked on? Because it made me wonder, when did they notice that? When did they notice that Gonzalez wasn't Gonzalez? Can the Patriots throw Gonzalez out there and, for a half or so, get you to respect who he is as if no one notices that he's hurt out there? Because there's simply no way he can be healthy when he's getting torched like that, where they're picking on him.

Or is it just the Packers playing their game? Because they—they have very good deep throws.

Yeah, but they're—Mike, they're very good, but they're not that good. They're not so good that they don't have an incompletion on a target, and they've—both of their receivers have 150 yards picking on, uh, one of the best corners in the game.

So, per NextGen stats, Gonzalez allowed 7 for 105 to Matthew Golden, 3 for 82 to Christian Watson. He's the only defender since at least 2018 to allow more than 80 receiving yards to two different players in the same game. He allowed 187 yards in coverage, the third most by anyone this season. He'd allowed 196 in his first six games combined.

I want to present, uh, you guys with a scenario here as we head toward the, uh, trade deadline, and I suspect we're going to get some activity. George Pickens didn't play yesterday. He's been franchised. He becomes a free agent after the season. Somebody, I think, is going to try to rent him for eight games. The teams that need a wide receiver are all the teams that have a chance to win the championship. It's the Seahawks, it's the Chiefs, it's the Patriots, it's the Rams, it's the 49ers.

Dan, we got breaking news. This was something we talked about last week. Russell Brand was convicted of sexual assault from an incident, I think, about 20 years ago.

Many incidents.

No, but he was convicted for one of them, I believe. And the sentencing just came down. Russell Brand is going to prison for 10 and a half years.

One of the many grifters who has fooled me over the last few years. Uh, there are many of them, and he's right at the top of the list. He's been on the show with us before, and I've always been impressed by his charisma. And now the whole thing comes down on him. He has claimed sex addiction before, and now he is guilty of crime. And he has gone, uh, to the Bible in recent months, and he has changed his messaging entirely to try and get, um, you know, some right-wing public on his side during these particular times to curry favor.

Dan Le Batard. I think when he goes on tour, the.

I shoot you.

He gets, like, Michael Jackson level reaction.

Really? He gets Michael Jackson level reaction?

Yes. Yes, he does.

Michael Jackson.

Yes.

The King of Pop.

Yes, he does.

Michael Jackson.

Yeah, Michael Jackson.

There's Michael Jackson, and there's IShowSpeed.

Yeah.

Similar response.

Similar response.

Similar crowd reactions.

You don't know ball. You don't know ball.

Michael Jackson, IShowSpeed. Okay.

Jonathan Sassolo.

You sound—you sound like an embarrassing person.

Okay.

You sound old.

You sound old as shit.

This is the Dan Le Batard Show.

Jesse Bates went to Jacksonville.

I saw that. Uh, that Jacksonville Jags are playing as if they're a piece away, because they are. I think they are something like 19 and 6 over their last 25 games, and their point differential is the best in the sport. They're at, like, plus 267 in the—basically, the last two football seasons that we've seen. But entertain my hypothetical here. Who's going to get the receiver? The Chiefs need one. The Patriots clearly need one. They're doing hook and lateral stuff because they can't get anyone down the field.

The AJ—the AJ Brown thing has been a disaster. I mean, that's—that was supposed to be the guy to get them the help.

Makes Jalen Hurts look a little bit better, right?

They also—they also have Dobbs, who's out hurt right now. They did address this, and they acquired two guys that have had, you know, that have been productive in the NFL, especially AJ Brown. And to be asking this question, "Hey, they still need more," is pretty wild.

Aren't you assuming, though, that all of those teams will be competing for whoever it is that is available? Pickens would be the most desirable of the possibilities that is available if Dallas does give up on the season, which they should, because their defense isn't nearly good enough. I want to talk a little bit about all of the games, but, uh, I am now officially fully used to, uh, Daniel Jones jogging off the field, disappointed after throwing an interception late because he can't win you the game late. Uh, he is going to lose.

I kind of felt like them trying to create a market.

Like, who—who would say, "We, we need a starting quarterback. Let's go get Daniel Jones mid-season"?

I don't know.

I mean, the Vikings wanted him a while ago.

Yeah.

He chose to go to Indianapolis over the Vikings, and the Vikings still have the quarterback problem. They're going with Carson Wentz tonight against Buffalo?

I think Daniel Jones would present an upgrade there.

Miles Garrett has three sacks and a forced fumble upon his return. Three sacks? Like, that's nuts, right? That's nuts to just come back to be so clearly and uniquely the defensive player of the year every year, that you come back. He only played, like, 30 snaps. It's not like he's playing the whole game. He's playing, like, 30 snaps, and he gets three sacks—three sacks and a forced fumble.

But then Puka gets hurt.

Tell you, after all this, you know, the slow start for them, and they won three in a row, they're only one back of a playoff spot. Like, they're not going to the division. They're way behind, but they're only one back of a playoff spot.

I'm—I'm just excited. We get to see six tight ends now.

They're five and four, and, uh, Miles Garrett, uh, I suppose, could have, uh, returned in a better fashion. But three sacks and a forced fumble when you're only playing 30 snaps, I think it's a little hard to be more dominant than that, is it not?

Four sacks would be better.

Four sacks would be better, but three sacks would put him on a pace to, uh, have 51 sacks for the season. Like, that's not the normal Miles Garrett game, even though you're used to seeing him in the backfield. It's not normally. I play half a game, and I'd be on pace for 51 sacks if I got this many in every game, and I'd have 17 forced fumbles.

We still haven't mentioned Bears' Bucks.

Bears' Bucks.

And I don't understand how we haven't. That was the most batch crazy game of the season. That was nuts. The swings that that game took, the way that Tampa Bay's defense played Caleb Williams, the way that Simmons tracked down really fast wide receivers when they had a 20-yard head start, those—that was a fascinating game that was played last night. It was so much fun. Such good football being played on both sides, and also such terrible football being played on both sides.

No, there was—there was a lot of terrible football. This is the first time this has happened in the history of the sports, as it's the first time that a team has won when they have five-plus turnovers, nine-plus penalties, no 10-yard rushes, and they blow a 14-point lead. It's never happened before.

Yeah, so they're awesome. Like, if you're a Bears fan, you loved that result last night. You're—you're awesome.

The Simmons move certainly fixes a lot and puts him in that championship contender tier. Tampa is now in first place in their division. This always happens. I mean.

Three wins.

I am so confused watching this Tampa team, because their offensive coordinator is terrible, but then Baker does amazing things that you're like, "That 65-yard throw was one of the BTTs of the season." And then, you know, the pick six happens. It's just—it's a puzzling experience watching Tampa Bay football.

All four teams in the NFC South, even with three wins. It's a battle.

It's a dreadful division, and it's been a dreadful division for the last five years. Is the NFC North the opposite of the NFC South? Is it the direct opposite of the NFC South, where, uh, basically, uh, your last-place team has six wins?

I mean, no matter what, North and South are opposite, Dan.

Uh, thank you, Jeremy. I appreciate that non-contribution that's useless and also interrupts me while I'm talking. NFC South, put on the poll at Le Batard Show. Is the NFC South the direct opposite of the NFC North? So you have—you have only six and seven win teams in the NFC North, and you only have three win teams in the NFC South.

It'll show you to try to answer one of Dan's open-ended questions.

Yeah.

That's not the way to answer it. Is North the opposite of South is not the way to answer that question.

I don't know.

The Eagles have gone three and out on 43% of their possessions. And yesterday, Joe Milton celebrated a touchdown by doing a backflip in the end zone, I guess, to make fun of Skattaboot. But I don't think you can make fun of Skattaboot when you're Joe Milton. You saw the game Joe Milton had. Fifty—to think of the three and outs that Philadelphia had when Hurts was out there, to think that they are now failing at a rate that is close to half the time.

We were all gun shy to answer an open-ended question there. See, North versus South wasn't so bad after all.

The best thing to come from that giants, uh, Eagles game was the Eagles punter having the best punt I've ever seen in my life.

That was nuts.

But that's—that is the single best punt I have ever seen. It's not just that it went for 80-plus yards. It went from man was in his own end zone when he caught the ball, and it went out at the opposing six-yard line. Just bounced out of bounds. It wasn't even like any of the gunners could get down there in time because of how big the kick was. That—there may have been a longer kick at some point in history, but I've never seen a better punt than from out of your own end zone down at the opposing six-yard line.

Balls.

That's what I thought.

Mm-hmm.

I don't think that that qualifies as balls.

That punt.

Balls.

I—I know the balls thing is, like, something that's, like, tough to do. Like, it took courage. That didn't—that was just an awesome punt.

Balls.

Balls.

But that's not balls. Monken is balls.

That was balls.

It was balls, but it was the obvious call. If—if you—if you kick the extra point to tie, you're saying, "I'm cool with a tie game." Why would anyone be cool with a tie game? You have to go for the win.

McCorgie had balls.

Uh, you say that, Zazlow, and, uh, I am playing the result here, admittedly. Okay? But as someone who always wants to be on offense, when you give me the choice of three yards for the game, I will always go for it. But when Cleveland's leaving the Superdome and could have had a road tie instead of a loss, when this is the best team that they have had in 10 years, I agree with you, but the result does not suit my argument.

Brutal future.

I didn't—it was weird. They—they both scored unlikely touchdowns because that wasn't great offense in that game. I—I thought that they should have—should have played for the tie when you consider the things that went right for them to give them an opportunity to get that tie.

Such a loser move to kick for the tie there.

The throw, you have your backup quarterback on the road. You make the throw to Judy. You get the long field. Golfainen has one of the great plays of the NFL season. Like, I—I think you made the argument you didn't have any business being in that game.

I can't—I can't—I can't imagine there's a single coach in the NFL who, before the game starts, you say, "If you get three yards, you win or you tie, which would you rather?" You have to go for the win there.

Yeah.

There's no way to sell, "I'm going to take a tie instead of trying to get three yards and win." You ha—you cannot kick for the tie there because obviously you're not getting the football back. It was the right call. It was the wrong result.

I don't have any data to back this up, but I guarantee you Cleveland makes the playoffs if they get that tie.

Yeah, right.

That conference.

You're right. You have no data to back that.

No—no data to back up my argument.

I don't know.

But I feel—I feel good about that tie if I'm Cleveland. I feel great about that tie.

If—if they tie, they're still third in the division. It's not like they'd be sitting atop the AFC North.

You're looking at the wrong thing.

They'd be third in the division.

You're looking at the wildcard tiebreakers when you get that funky little tie in there.

If they win, they're one game back in the division. You—you go for the win.

Week one of 2025, the New Orleans Saints lost 30 to the Detroit Lions 31, and that was in an overtime game where both teams had a touchdown. New Orleans went for two, didn't get it.

Is that—is that how you say the score? You say the lower one before the higher one?

Yeah, I was trying to describe it. I—I was talking about the Saints primarily because they were going for two. They came up a point short, but.

Just wondering.

That was the wrong decision.

I don't know.

The Chargers are so much worse than anyone in the world could have imagined. The Chargers lose at home, uh, by a million to the Texans. They had gone 13 straight quarters without, uh, scoring a touchdown. Now Justin Herbert is hurt. They had gone 37 straight possessions without scoring a touchdown. Uh, I think that there is not a human being on Earth who correctly predicted what the Chargers looked like.

It's not fair to continue placing the blame on Mike McDaniel. Like, Mike McDaniel was the head coach of the Dolphins for four years, and whether the Dolphin fan wants to admit it or not, that those four years were more positive than negative. And to now say that the Chargers at 0 and 8 and pointing the finger at Mike McDaniel after this incredible drop-off from the last however many years, I'm sorry. It's—it's incredibly lazy if you—if you're just pointing the finger at McDaniel.

Speaking of lazy, I have been lazy in still not being able to get confirmation of a story that I have not been able to get confirmed, which is that McDaniel could have had the Bills job but chose not to take it because he didn't like how they had treated McDermott. Head coaching job of Josh Allen. Uh, again, I have not confirmed that story. It has just been told to me by one source, and I have not gotten a second source on that, so I don't know whether it's true or not.

That was enough for me.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I'm glad you're not mentioning it because it's not buttoned up journalistically.

That's the move. That's the move.

Yeah. That's what you do when you don't have something totally buttoned up journalistically.

Isn't that what I did?

You just throw it out there.

The reason that I was doing it, though, is to make the larger point of how quickly something can stick to you that you cannot get off of you. Because if Mike McDaniel had better options, he chose the worst one. And when and how this stuff sticks to you, I don't know if you guys noticed this. I don't think many people are talking about this. At the end of Washington Rams, Washington's down, uh, a touchdown. They've got the ball fourth and sixth. They've decided to go for it in Rams territory. You know what happens?

Dan Le Batard.

It's the Jets' coach, sweetie.

Chris Curtie.

I should go say hello.

This is the Dan Le Batard Show.

I want to put two feelings in front of you today and ask you who felt worse. Both of these are in victories. Both of the teams or the players that made this mistake did so in a victory. Jordan Tyson of the Saints catches his first catch in the NFL, first-ever catch as he's going to the goal line, he fumbles. Does he feel worse than Justin Fields, who came in for the Chiefs for one quarterback sneak yesterday, and his stat line is just quarterback sneak, fumble? That was—that's Justin Fields, who used to be a starter in this league at quarterback for multiple teams, came in and played one play.

I didn't know that Justin Fields is still in the league, I'm being perfectly honest now, but I think the receiver feels worse.

Because it was his first catch, and it was at the goal line.

Oh, and because, I mean, the Chiefs blew out the Jets. It's not that big a deal. It's the receiver.

Well, but the game was close when they gave the ball to Justin Fields at the goal line, and then he—all he had to do was something that is not what he got into football to do.

Yeah.

No one gets into football, uh, wanting to be an offensive guard, and no one gets into football thinking, "I'm going to have the heroic quarterback sneak on a play."

I think that the joy of the first catch overshadows the fumble at least a little bit. So for Fields, it's only a net negative. Like, it might be a worse situation where you're fumbling if you're Tyson, but you got that first catch out of the way.

Now, when you say no one wants to be an offensive guard, are there—are there, like, kids who want to be an offensive tackle?

Put it on the poll at Le Batard Show. Does any kid grow up wanting to be an offensive guard? I think they want to be tackles or the center. If you do want to—if you're a fat kid, you want to be the center. You get to hold the ball. You want to be a tackle. He gets to protect the quarterback. No one wants to be a guard.

I was a flag football center. Uh, Zaz didn't know Justin Fields was on in the league. I didn't know that. Austin Ekeler was a commander.

I don't know.

Fun.

He's been a—he's been a commander for two years.

No, but he, like, went away and came back. No, you guys—this is not—he—this is a recent thing.

No, he—

He came back.

He was with them last year.

He came—he went away.

Right.

He was, and then he got cut, and then he came back.

Thank you.

During the injury.

That's right. At least I hope that's right.

Roy didn't know that Boston College was in the ACC.

That was shocking to me.

That's all pointed Roy.

That was completely shocking to me. I had no idea. I thought they were in, like, the AAC for a second.

You're so good at trivia, and then that one just slipped through.

Let's see, uh, let's see. Give me the stat of the day here so that I could give you a stat from the Boston College game as we show you video that may or may not be during the pandemic.

Oh, that's good support.

Or may have been just very sadly before the FSU game this weekend.

Stat of the day, stat of the day. It is your stat of the day. Stat of the day, stat of the day. It is your stat of the day. Stat of the day, stat of the day. It is your stat of the day. Start of the day, start of the day. It is your stat of the day.

So you can see that they don't have much of a home field advantage. Bill O'Brien and his butt chin and the BC Eagles don't have much of a home field advantage. So FSU won this weekend at BC by a touchdown, and it was their first road win in 1,078 days.

Like.

They just—they just hired an AD too.

But Davos Sweeney, you know, was offended for Mike Norvell. Yeah.

Uh, I want to go back for a second and tell you who I think had the worst feeling in all of football over the course of the last five days, and you guys tell me if you can come up with someone who you think had a worst feeling in a moment. Then, the end of TCU Arizona. If you were not watching this on, uh, either Thursday or Friday night, it was late into the night, and TCU is winning late, and Arizona has to, uh, kick an onside kick. But you know what they do? They loop it up a little bit.

I like that.

They—they kick it, like, 30 yards down the field. And so one of the guys who was up front on the hands team is trying to catch it over his shoulder. And so he does catch it over his shoulder, but as he catches it over his shoulder, as he's flipping over it, he flips the ball behind him accidentally because it took so much of his reach, and then he's on his knees as the ball is right in front of him and not available to him. And then he gets engulfed by people who are just crushing him because he—the feeling between my momentum has taken me.

I've got to look at that.

But, but so I'm going to—I wanted to recreate it here with Chris Curtie. I wanted Chris Curtie to run backwards 30 yards over his shoulder. You grab the ball, but your momentum—all you got to do is put your shoulder down.

Oh my God.

You'll see how horrified he is as the oncoming avalanche. The oncoming avalanche just destroys him. I imagine that that poor—he lost the game.

If he started out such a good athletic feet, but he couldn't hang on to it.

Well, but think about how horrified you are, though, when the ball is three yards from you, but what's coming your way is an avalanche of football players desperate to recover that fumble who are gleeful that you just did the exact thing that they wanted you to do. It's why it is that they targeted that as the place on the field that they wanted that done.

The guy's like, "I'm so glad they went to me." So when they're drawing up, when the special teams coach is drawing up, listen, best case scenario, the guy in the middle there is running over his shoulder.

Anyone else want this?

He tries to catch it. He doesn't. And then just like a heat-seeking missile, we pounce.

But not one. Not one.

The fear in his eyes.

No, but of course.

When he makes that U-turn.

When he makes that U-turn to, like. Chris, Chris, it's the momentum of your body was taking you full speed the other way, and now you're on your knees and you're trying to go forward. And as you go forward on your knees, you're engulfed by everything that's coming your way that was waiting for you to do that exactly that way. And at that moment, you know, I've lost the game. I—I just lost the game. There's the ball right there. I have no chance. Here come 50 Arizona players.

Well, and, and, like, he—he knows he's going to get blasted, but it's like, "I—I made my bet. I'm—I'm committed to this."

I mean, he just—there were—there were Arizona players that fit inside of his face mask just because of the amount of pressure and steam that was coming down the field on him, and his horror was erased by an avalanche.

I can't imagine, like, the—the fear on an onside kick, knowing that 10 dudes are just coming to rip your head off and hit you as hard as you can. It's got to be the worst feeling. There were so many violent hits in football this weekend, and that Miami-Notre Dame game especially. But the hardest hit that I saw was delivered by Geno Smith.

Oh my God.

I think.

Whoa.

The worst job in the sport is punt returner, but it's not the worst job in the sport. It's punt returner who's fumbled. Because I don't want to be looking up into the sky while those people are running 100 miles an hour in my direction, and, uh, I don't—even if I call a fair catch, I'm not looking at them when I'm calling the fair catch. I'd be terrified of all of that.

If you're a regular person, watch that. Like, isn't it just ha—how do you not fair catch every single time, right?

I mean, we'd be cowards as punt returners. Put it on the poll at Le Batard Show. Would we all be cowards as punt returners?

I always become an expert too. If they call a fair catch with, like, too much time to spare, I'm like, "What a loser." I—I got mad yesterday over—I think maybe it was on Saturday. I got mad at someone who did a fair catch. Like, you know, because—because there were four yards. Four yards.

I would have known. I would have known.

Separating him and the gun. I was like, "Why did you do that?"

No, I'm—I'm a decoy guy. I'm looking up, waving off, but I'm, like, also 20 yards ahead of the ball, having it bounce by me. See if I can trick somebody.

No, you're braver than I am because you're still giving the opportunity for someone to hit you as you look up at the sky, which is the place that I start with my fear. I, from the jump, am saying, "Everyone, back away." I'm—I'm—I'm giving everyone the indication that I don't want to play with the rest of you here. I don't care how this bounces. It can land where it wants. I'm going to—I'm going to—I'm going to show myself out. I don't have any interest in returning this punt. Uh, Geno Smith, that was—that was frustration that stems back to when a teammate punched him in the locker room the first time he was with the Jets, correct?

Dan, Geno, I just saw the play. He was mad.

That wasn't about that play.

I'm telling you that that goes back to who was the teammate who punched Geno Smith in the face in the locker room?

Oh, yeah. Buddy got—he—he got, like, thrown off the team the next day. It wasn't anyone big.

But Buddy is not his name. And he punched Geno Smith when no one punches the quarterback.

Chris, Chris, Chris. I'll spell it.

No, say the name.

Ike Nampale. Nampale.

Good confidence.

It's what his name is.

Uh, uh, uh.

That's why I call him Buddy.

E-K.

M-P.

N-Pali.

N-Pali.

Uh, uh, uh.

I think—I think that's what the capital I and capital K is. It could just be I-K.

Yeah.

I've never seen that before. It's a tough one.

Fun.

Uh, uh, uh.

That's as slowed down as the Lions' offense will ever be. The Dolphins were actually able to slow the Lions' offense.

They played. Are they a quarterback away?

Uh.

How was Proctor v. Bain this week?

Not great. Proctor was out last week in concussion protocol. This week, the running game has not been good the last two weeks.

Wasn't Bain great last night?

Yeah, Bain was taking over that game.

So.

He's finally settling in. That Tampa Bay defense, you know, Todd Bowles has had a disastrous year. They've certainly figured something out. We've never seen Caleb Williams look like that.

Well, the Dolphins, uh, that was four interceptions, and they had another fumble. But, uh, the Dolphins, uh, there were two fake punts successful in that game. Both teams executed a successful fake punt. The Dolphins' one was better than the Lions' one. But, uh, the Dolphins were great holding the Lions on third and long. They were three of 12, except for the bubble screen that finished the game when St. Brown caught it.

Uh, uh, uh.