Transcript of Dan Gets Inducted To The Eating Hall of Fame | Hour 2

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I'm going to have a little trouble here explaining to the audience what the last 3 minutes of my life has been like, but I'm going to say there are people all over the world in asylums who have not experienced what my last 3 minutes were, which is Jeremy comes in here and says to me, and it's all he says to me, if someone goes 0 for 1 for the rest of their career in every single game but walks 3 times a game, is that the best baseball player ever? And then he just leaves the room. Tony comes in after him and says to me, hey, my father has 5 other names that he calls people whose names he can't remember that is different from my list yesterday. He's objecting to my list. And then Damashek says to me, Whatever happened to the flavor wintergreen? And I just want to talk about Eddie Goodell. And I just want to say, if we were to make a Hall of Fame, an Athletic Hall of Fame for little people, is Eddie Goodell the only person in it?

No, the crossover little person. That guy should be in it.

Messi. It's Eddie Goodell and Lionel Messi.

Muggsy Bogues.

Spud Webb.

Spud Webb.

Muggsy.

These are not little people, though. They're short, but they're not—

they're not little people. If I made an Athletic Hall of Fame of little people, just little people.

Is Eddie Goodell the only member of the Little People Athletic Hall of Fame? Uh, on-base percentage of .1000 for his career.

The, the guy who did the crossover in the, uh, in the Little People Games.

Yeah.

Does Dave know about the Little People Games or no?

No, but I, I'm expecting to depart to cloud nine as soon as I start.

Okay, well, we'll show it to you in a second. Uh, send, uh, Send out the missive to Brad Williams to make sure that we get his video, uh, the most amazing crossover I believe in the history of crossovers, even though it wasn't technically a crossover. We will show that video to Damashek in a second, but go ahead, Damashek, uh, what do you got on the flavor winter?

Well, I was, I was, I, I was curious for your insights on this, Dan, since you were talking about flavors earlier in the show. We had peppermint gum, and by the way, isn't it nice in our, in our fraught society when you see examples of different companies coming together on something. Everybody agreed at some point, when we do peppermint flavor, it's gonna be blue, and spearmint will be green, and we all are gonna make it green, and then cinnamon, everybody, we're signing off on red. But then wintergreen made the scene, and it was more like a light blue. And either way, it was a fine flavor. It wasn't as strong as peppermint, and it had its own, you know, some, some quality to it, I guess. But I guess it's gone the way of the dodo bird, and spearmint has won in the secondary mint-flavored market. Why are you shaking your head at that?

Because wintergreen is alive and well in nicotine patch— nicotine pouches. Wintergreen. Some say best flavor.

Bengay also smells like wintergreen. Maybe that's why no one wants to ingest it anymore, because now you associate it with healing.

I'm looking at Extra right now, has a Winter Fresh flavor. And now Winter Fresh is always blue, by the way. Winter Fresh is blue.

That's not synonymous with wintergreen, is it?

Different.

Is it? How's it different? It's— is it just the color?

Wintergreen and Winter Fresh?

Yeah, yeah, the name is different. Is it just the name and the color?

Yeah. Yeah. Now I've said it before.

I don't feel like I'm getting real expertise in that.

Yeah.

I feel like you just said, yeah, it's like they're both minty, they're both winter, but they're fresh and green.

What's interesting, Dan, is that the fruit world, when they're making candies, there are a lot of red fruits. And so somebody had to take the short straw. They're like, we got the cherry flavor, we got the strawberry, we got the watermelon, we got the raspberries. Somebody has to not be red because everybody's— we can't have just a bunch of red candies that are indistinguishable from each other.. And so they said, let's invent something that doesn't exist, a blue raspberry. And now everybody has— when you have raspberry flavor, it's standardly blue. How many people have had a blue raspberry in their life? Think about that, Dan.

Winter Fresh is a wintergreen-flavored variety of chewing gum made by the Wrigley Jr.

Company.

It was originally marketed as an alternative to the Big Red brand.

Could have been blue cherry.

Well, he just brought up something that I found interesting because I do believe that if you offer me two things and you say the flavors on gum or candy are— and I can only have one of them— just regular raspberry or blue raspberry, I think I'm gonna go blue raspberry. And I don't know how Big Raspberry figured out how to trick me like that because I feel like most people are going to say, yeah, if I want, I want it to be blue raspberry.

I think that's going to be even sweeter and a different kind of raspberry.

I'm tired of red raspberry.

Do you think Blueberry is sitting somewhere like, whoa, that's my lane. What are you doing coming over here?

Thank you for bringing up the lane. I can now segue to how it is that Vern Troyer got crossed over in the paint here. I want you to watch here at the end of this.

Oh no.

Hall of Famer.

Him and Eddie Goodell.

Watch his feet go up in the air here.

Yo!

What a jumper that is. Oh wow, look at that form. That's terrific. Good for him.

His oh no before we got to the crossover was even more scared than Greg Cody's oh no after he accidentally called the Cleveland Guardians by their former name, uh, the Wipeout.

After the guy, the guy who gets crossed up Oh boy, it's the hardest I've ever seen him laugh. Oh man, that's terrific. Oh boy, send me that so I can send it to all my friends. Oh boy, that's terrific stuff. Oh boy, good for 47.

For those of you who are not watching on YouTube, I just want to point out that what Damashek is laughing at is On defense, a little person who is bald is—

I'm going to say, uh, what do you mean it's not important that he's bald? Because everyone else out there has hair, and the comedic element here that makes it funny is— has multiple ingredients. And his baldness is what makes him look like Verne Troyer, and also the fact that he lands like a javelin, I'm gonna say a full 15 feet from where the basketball is being shot, as the defender.

That guy versus the bear getting shot out of the tree. That's a tough one to call. Both delightful. Oh, boy.

Also delightful.

Before we get to Tony's dad's 5 other ways of referring to somebody whose name he can't remember and entertaining the Jeremy conversation of whether you'd want a baseball career that never allows you to have a hit, but you play for 20 years, 0 for 1 every game with 3 walks.

750. You're a Hall of Famer.

750 OPS doesn't quite make you a Hall of Famer.

750 OBP does.

750—

400 is a good on-base percentage in baseball. 750 would be— Come on, 3 times a game for a decade. We're doing it against Tony.

Let's be fair, mine is the superior— Absolutely not. Without a doubt. Okay, I don't know if you've heard this, Dave. What if an MLB player goes 1 for 4 with a single in every game he ever plays, 10 years worth of games, never has a home run, never has a walk, never has a double, nothing. 1 for 4. Does he make it to the Hall of Fame?

Well, so he has a consecutive game streak of 1,700 or thereabouts, but he's a .250 career hitter and he's got no slugging.

His OP—

500 on base, like 500 OBP.

He's a Hall of Famer.

Does he swipe a few bags? No, no, no, no.

He does— all he does is hit that one hit every game, and sometimes it might be the first hit.

You never know when it's coming.

Sometimes it might be a walk-off single.

You know what, he can go to the Hall of Fame, but he ain't welcome in the Hall of All.

The opposite of the Hall—

now standing on top of Mount Pius.

But the better career is definitely the guy who never gets a hit but walks 3 times. Give me Tony's career.

100%.

I want to get a hit.

This guy's on base 3 times a game for a decade.

Number 47's going into the Hall of All.

I want to know if that shot goes in.

The president—

that is what's being played on the White House lawn. It's another— is that rematch one-on-one?

Little people basketball?

One-on-one.

You're an ally.

Dan Levitar.

Hey, uh, Demacek, you know about that Jadakiss?

Dave Demacek. No, I don't.

Okay, I figured.

This is the Dan Levitar Show. LaMelo Ball's penthouse in Charlotte. When you You guys, uh, just imagine what it is that I'm saying on the front end of that phrase, okay? Just—

I'm telling you, this guy's got to be more of a child than anyone in the NBA, and it is saying something to say that.

Uh, LaMelo Ball, when I ask you to imagine, uh, before showing it to some people what his penthouse looks like in Charlotte— I've got a giant gumball machine, I've got obviously a ridiculous aquarium, I've got— it's a little bit of an— it's a, it's a little bit of an arcade arcade, and it's a little bit of a vape shop. Uh, it's, it's also a little bit of a Chuck E. Cheese's. Uh, like, I, I—

he's got a car in like the living room for no reason.

Yeah, a car that he can't drive well, that he can't get insured. Uh, but when you imagine, uh, when you got a look, I mean, at, uh, LaMelo Ball's, uh, home, did it look exactly as you imagined? Because I'd also have some funhouse elements in there in, in what I imagine a child would do as a grown-up if I gave give him unlimited funds.

Bang! I just thought about Big. Tom Hanks gets the job and he moves to that loft apartment. And when I watched Big as a kid, I was like, what a cool place! He's got the arcade, he's got all sorts of—

Papa Shot.

Is Chuck E. Cheese still a thing? Do people know what I'm referencing when I mentioned, like, the idea that you've got old—

but people know it's alive.

But characters playing instruments that are, uh, creepy looking, that are robot-like. Uh, so what else— what in this house caught your attention? I mean, what in this penthouse were some of the signature items? Were there a lot of hookahs? What was happening here?

It has to be like the neon aliens because this is the part where it does look like a vape shop. Like that alien statue. There you go, right there.

That's the kitchen counter that's like tie-dyed and glow-in-the-dark.

This is a dispensary.

Also dispensary, good point by Chris.

But the colors are what's key here. It's a kaleidoscope of colors that you would expect from a children's show. Like, just how do I bombard the senses of a child by just making everything neon?

Pee-wee's Playhouse. Yeah, a modern version.

What did you think was the strangest thing found in his house? How many popper shots were there in the penthouse?

I believe there were two, so you could go—

yeah, two aliens also. There's two alien statues there at the house.

It's multiple aliens too, as they pan through.

He likes aliens. There's some UFO stuff. Like, he likes aliens apparently.

A basketball hoop with a neon green net.

How about that? How about that elephant showing its ass?

That— no, that was a KAWS. K-A-W-S. A what?

KAWS.

That's what it's called.

Is it an elephant?

Am I tripping?

No, it's like a mouse.

Uh, what is a KAWS, please?

KAWS is—

it's an artistic rendering of a cartoon that's very, uh, like snob society, the sneakerhead culture and stuff like that. It's that kind of art.

But not an elephant, because it's a very big— it's a big difference between an elephant and a mouse. And you guys are disagreeing, and I don't think the audio audience, you're helping them at all when you say, "No, it's an elephant!" No, it's a mouse. Now you've allowed so much of a space between the two things that I don't believe you're helping anybody who's listening.

It's a cartoon character that is dressed with a t-shirt, but the shorts are down around its ankles, and it's got sneakers on, and it's kind of looking back cheekily.

Pun intended.

Mooning ass.

It's mooning.

That's right. But just to be clear, okay, on how it is that some of you guys alienate the audio audience, okay? If I were to say to you, choose among everything that you've ever seen in your life as things that are the most opposite, I'd nominate elephant and mouse. And you guys described that thing as both of those things. And I'm just curious how you think that helps the audio audience understand what it is.

I know it's gray watching. Yeah, I'm picturing gray.

Yeah, yeah, those are two very different things. Uh, I mean, was there anything you were surprised by in that house? Or because That, that apartment looks like I would imagine it if I was trying to make fun of LaMelo Ball not being grown up in any reasonable way. And furthermore, if I were in a court of law and you asked me, hey, why aren't the Timberwolves gonna work?

I'd submit as evidence that—

Exhibit A, Your Honor.

Exhibit A, and I rest my case. And here—

No Exhibit B.

Don't need to see anything else. Here's why the whole thing's not gonna work with Anthony Edwards.

It's just like, it just goes to show you the idea of, I don't know, wonder how that guy lives. And it's like, well, that's how he lives. You're like, oh, that kind of makes sense, right?

I believe there's an ESPY Award that they pan by.

I want the most ridiculous—

yeah.

I think Zach Harper told me that he went to an estate sale from Michael Beasley's house when he left Minnesota and The one thing that Zach bought was a framed kind of picture that said Harvard on it, and it's like, but Michael Beasley didn't go to Harvard. Like, yeah, I don't know why he had that either.

By the way, Dan, really quick on the KAWS front, KAWS is a campaign— does look like the cartoon mouse because it's directly styled after Mickey Mouse, featuring gloved hands, round ears, and a body with XXI skull and crossbones head.

But when you mention the movie Big, I mean, uh, it is very much just make it a penthouse, make it a little bit sort of of how a young bachelor might try to have a framework of a penthouse that gave off riches, but now imagine an adult just living in a toy store.

Yeah, it was— yes, this is what a bachelor would have. Now make the bachelor an actually a 12-year-old child, right? And that's exactly what LaMelo Ball is, right? Like, all right, let's make— let's, uh, rich penthouse of a star basketball player. Okay, now make him a child mentally.

Weird that Tom Hanks and his pal, they don't go out and pick up some booze. You know, the 12-year-olds don't have that. But the problematic role of Elizabeth Perkins, I believe is her name, she makes her love on that boy. Talk to me.

Sure does. But she didn't know. She didn't know. Now, have you ever seen The Lawnmower Man? Dave Dameshek, have you ever seen the movie The Lawnmower Man?

I haven't.

It's got Pierce Brosnan in it, right? And in it, Pierce Brosnan is a scientist He tries to create this thing that can help advance the minds of people, particularly the lawnmower man, the groundskeeper that lives in his neighborhood, who is developmentally challenged. And so he does the stuff and the guy gets smarter, and now he's regular intelligence, and now he's actually smarter than everybody, and it keeps going and going, right? But there's a lady who lives in the neighborhood who knows him. He's a lawnmower man, everyone knows him, right? And as he's getting more and more intelligent, he's a little bit more well-kempt, right? Dressed a little nicer, his haircut is a little nicer. She ends up doing the do with him. And all I could think of is, she doesn't know about this experiment. She knows the lawnmower man is, you know, is challenged. And then one day she's like, but you're kind of hot, and has sex with him. And I'm like, lady, you weren't privy to this information. That. Is a moral conundrum.

Inappropriate.

Dan, you say it's inappropriate, and I've heard people say that the movie Big is inappropriate because it's an adult woman making love to what would be Tom Hanks as a young boy. But I think if I were making the argument on behalf of the problems that women generally have with men, it's that all of them are sleeping with adolescents. Oh, you— and one of the evidences that I have is, is it true that Elon Musk shot a 4-story thing shot at the moon just because he could? Say what now?

When you say that, what do you mean by that?

That's correct.

Look it up for me.

Like a rocket?

Look up for me. Just— he shot at the moon, a 4-story thing, just because he is an overgrown toddler who could do such things. If I gave LaMelo Ball rocket money, he would be doing the same sort of things that Elon Musk does, because I would say that generally speaking, you've heard me say this before, Men think that they're 20 years younger than they are, and they act 30 years younger than that. Like, just men tend to be pretty immature, and I'm pretty sure I have that right, that Elon Musk, just for the bleep of it, just shot a 4-story thing at the moon because he has no respect for anything.

I need some details on this story.

So what happened is a discarded SpaceX rocket stage, so I guess the thing that holds the rocket, unintentionally slammed into the moon about 4,500 miles an hour.

No, I don't think that's the one. I think he—

There's another one?

This is a willful thing they're doing. Dan, I'm curious, we talked about this a couple months ago on a Friday Le Batard show.

Do you—

have you ever personally used the phrase "make love" in a sincere way?

No.

No.

That's a funny thing that happened in movies and TV, and then society kind of accepted it for a little while. Like, you know, there's no movie character that ever says, oh, we had sex. It's always, we made love.

You know why, right?

Talks that way.

You know why?

Tell.

Because of the Hays Code.

Oh yeah.

Okay, now it could do deep cinema history lesson here, but basically when movies first started coming out, there were no rules. You could do whatever. There's like black and white movies, the, you know, silent movies with women's breasts out and stuff like that. And then Scarface came out and the government was pissed because they thought it made law enforcement— the original Scarface, not Tony Montana, right? They thought that it made, uh, government look inept and corrupt and things like that. And so they were gonna hammer down. And so then the movie industry created the Hays Code. Say, hey, we don't want government regulation, we'll regulate ourselves. They came up with the Hays Code, and the Hays Code had all of these rules like you can't have open-mouth kissing, you can't depict people in the same bed together. The cops always have to be righteous and virtuous. There's a reason why in American storytelling the good guys always win at the end. It's not because we like a great ending story, it's because of the Hays Code. It made it so for about 30+ years until we got to the '60s, and then Steven Spielberg and all those, uh, Scorsese, all those directors that came up, those filmmakers, we get the golden age of of like kind of avant-garde filmmaking.

But that's why they say make love, because they could not say let's fuck.

Although nobody observed the actual 5,400-mile-an-hour collision, a telescope in Chile spotted what astronomers have identified as debris. And it's the latest instance of lunar litter, a problem that many fear could worsen as the US and China race to put astronauts on the moon.

Wait a second, I've never I've never used make love, but I did a few weeks ago try the thing where you sweep off everything from a table and start that way. What? Yeah, it went well. Yeah, it was a little messy afterwards.

Really?

Had to pick up everything afterwards, but I took it for a walk and it was nice.

One sweep?

It makes it feel fresh. It's like, oh, we— it feels dangerous a little bit.

Dangerous?

I'm stunned by this.

Swiped everything off. I was like, come here, honey, and I just swiped everything off the table and we went in the bedroom, but I still was just like, wait a minute, before this—

wait a minute, that's not— it's just like a little foreplay.

Instead of foreplay, I was just like, our whole kitchen table, everything gone.

But it's not— wait a minute, I didn't imagine you doing this. I didn't want to imagine you doing this. I'm now imagining you eating a clam pizza while doing it, but that's not the way to do it.

I love the idea of Chris's— Chris's wife is already in the bedroom waiting on him, and he's like, hold on, honey, I got one thing to do.

All right. All right, let's get, let's get to the, to the bedroom now.

Telling you, it's just one of those things, it's if you're in a little bit of a rut, it makes it feel fresh. I'm telling you, not that we were in a rut, just want to try it.

Down, Levitar!

For 5 minutes I was watching everyone just like, nope, not letting you in, not letting you in. So when I got up there, I had to say something, and I said it. Cheaters never prosper. Chris Cody, my buddy, was saying, not today.

Yeah, but you're not—

today, I think that was what he was adding. Yeah, I'm telling you, the response I got from this guy, what I said was amazing. He Cheaters never prosper. This guy yelled as angry as he could.

I ain't cheating!

This is the Dan Levatar Show. The thing that I wanted to bring up and I have not brought up here for a couple of days, uh, because we've been talking about The Odyssey so much and because, uh, Zazz has been obsessed with this movie, cannot watch it enough. I believe I'm going to spring upon you guys a fact that no one here knows and that all of you, uh, are going to be surprised by, uh, dare I say stunned by. Uh, Matt Damon's stunt double in that movie. What do you imagine, uh, the stunt person looks like? Uh, if you had to just take a guess given whatever it is you've seen of Matt Damon getting incredibly fit for that movie, being someone who in his 50s is looking like a warrior who can kick everybody's ass. What are your guesses from all of you? Just, I say, you're about to meet the stunt person who was Matt Damon's stunt double in the movie, uh, The Odyssey is walking through that door. What do you think that person looks like?

An elephant or a mouse.

A guy that looks like Matt Damon, but a little off, like, yeah, kind of ugly, like discount Matt Damon, like, oh, oh no, that's not him.

Big fat black guy.

Close.

Small woman.

What?

Yeah, small woman. Of course. A tiny, tiny—

That has to be.

No, it's not fake.

Look at her on the bus.

That's fake. No, it's not fake.

No, it's not fake.

May contain errors.

No, no, guys. No, it's verified. Christopher Nolan doesn't use CGI famously, is against it. It is real. It's a Canadian woman and she's about 4'7". She's about Eddie Goodell's height. She's tiny. The reason though that she's tiny is because he had to put her opposite people who were actually 7 feet tall. Like, they got a whole bunch of 7-footers and they wanted the scene of from the back, uh, Matt Damon. Uh, she's jacked, her arms are jacked, but she's, she's like 4 foot 6 or 4 foot 5. He went on purpose with someone who was, uh, Christopher Nolan went with someone who was tiny. Uh, have you seen The Odyssey?

Did you, uh, did you watch it?

I can't wait to see it. No, my travels have not allowed allowed me to, uh, to see it just yet.

Uh, you guys think this is fake. It's not fake.

I'm not— that can't be it.

I'm, I'm telling you that it's—

I know that I believe you.

We—

well, we chose something very poor from the internet that makes it look like it's fake, but I'm sorry, but, uh, the stories that I have read about this, it's absolutely so. It is not fake.

It looks like a porn parody is what it looks like.

The art I see It is a, uh, it is a bit stunning to say that. Put it on the poll at Levitard Show. Did you know that Matt Damon's stunt double in The Odyssey was a 4'6" Canadian woman? Uh, because I do believe so. I was, I was successful in surprising and shocking all of you. None of you knew it, and all of you are shocked by— Tony, you're welcome to look it up if you don't believe that picture doesn't do it justice, though.

You agree with me, right?

Keep not believing me, but if I show you to understand, if he doesn't use CGI, if Christopher Nolan doesn't use CGI. How else are you going to get Matt Damon to look that much smaller than giant people? You got to go get 7-foot people to be opposite him, and you got to make him smaller than he actually is in order to successfully achieve that.

Who does she look like though, Dan, to you, when she is dressed like Matt Damon? Because she doesn't look like Matt Damon. She looks kind of like Jim Belushi's brother-in-law from According to Jim. Dressed up like an ancient warrior.

She doesn't look anything like Matt Damon as the stunt temple either. It's— I'm having some difficulty describing what it is that she does look like. Originally when I saw her, I thought she was Asian. She is Canadian, and she doesn't look obviously anything like Matt Damon when you put her in costume or when she's not in costume. There is no circumstance under which she looks like Matt Damon.

We are presenting this like she's the only stunt double for him. It was just for this particular scene where they needed the size. But, you know, I mean, the picture we're painting is she's doing every stunt.

Was she or was she not his stunt double?

Do not—

in a scene, was she in a scene where they wanted her to live? Was she or was she not his stunt double?

I just looked up the cast of According to Jim and I realized who you're talking about. It's Hoghead from Hall Pass. That's right. She does look like him with the helmet on.

Why the, uh, why the Brillo or the, uh, you know, the brush thing, you know, the broom thing on top of the ancient warriors' helmets?

That's how they, that's how they kept their uniforms clean. Like, you've got some downtime, take off your helmet, scrub up and everything, put it back on, boom.

True or false, Dan?

It's a great guess, and you seem to be stunned that he had such an immediate answer.

Cinephobe is, uh, where you go if you want some real movie knowledge. What is Cinephobe? Clearly Damashek doesn't understand what Cinephobe is.

Cinephobe is the podcast where Zach Harper and I watch movies that are poorly rated on Rotten Tomatoes. We try to ascertain whether they're accurately rated, maybe they didn't get a fair shake. Cinephobe is produced by Anthony Magee. You get it wherever you get podcasts. And today we dropped an episode for Bloodfist 8. Holy hell, you ever seen Bloodfist 8?

I haven't. Dan, um, or have you seen Hall of Fame inductions? You know, it's the Hall of Fame weekend in, uh, in Canton, Ohio. What a gift that is, right? You had a storied career in our most beloved sport. You get to go to Canton every August. What then were you named to the Hall of Fame? First question I have for you is, who would be your presenter?

You didn't entertain Amin's question at all. You went straight to your material, and he was asking my material.

What material? I'm asking you questions. I'm a person talking to another person. You, you and me.

But why weren't you talking to to the person who was talking to you and asked—

He was promoting his movie podcast. What question did he ask?

He asked you if you had seen, uh, Bloodfist 8.

I said no. I answered that.

Yeah, well, you said— I did. You answered it by dismissing it.

I dismissed it because that's, uh, that's what it deserves. Bloodfist 8. Now you want to talk Tong Po, now I'm in. But we're not— we're talking Bloodfist 8.

Come on.

How about American Ninja 4?

Put it on the poll, Juju, @LebatardShow.

Did you know that there were 8 Blood Fists? Uh, yes or no?

So you're asking me who would be my presenter if I were inducted to what kind of Hall of Fame? What kind of Hall of Fame am I being inducted to?

Well, I'd like to— people are most familiar, I think, among the halls of fame with the Pro Football Hall of Fame.

The eating hall of fame.

Be up there with your gold jacket. Jacket standing up there, and who's presenting you?

That turn you on?

What happened to the bedroom?

The Eating Hall of Fame. The eating— the Eating Hall of Fame. You— so just— I would present you. I mean Yeah, you'd go up there with a big hoagie and just some sauce on your face.

I've seen him put french fries in a salad.

He stole my chicken wing. The Eating Hall of Fame. You're putting me in an actual sports hall of fame. You're not actually even making it any of my skill sets. So now you sure—

I am. It's a jerk. They have a, they have a media wing.

But so if I were to, I'd probably do Ricky Williams if it was the Pro Football Hall of Fame, if that's what you're asking. Uh, if you're—

the world's your oyster, you're the Hall of Famer, you make the choice. But you don't have to be Ricky Williams.

You don't— aren't most of the presenters at the Hall of Fame, if it's for football, aren't they also football people?

Like, is it—

no, it's anybody from your life that you want, anybody who impacts.

A lot of times though, it is—

it could be Dave Dameshek, which would be a nice choice.

I saw—

I'd say nice things.

I saw Breeze is having Sean Payton put him in.

So it's like, yeah, it's like a coach or could be a coach, could be, you know, you know, could be your dad, a mentor of some sort.

Your dad doing it would be funny.

Warren Sapp had his daughter do it.

My father doing it, there would be no control.

He's okay.

Everything that that would be.

Yeah.

So it would have very little pride in it.

Ricky Williams, not somebody from the U at least.

Who would you want to host? Well, it would be somebody who knows me and also has a great many achieve— like, really knows me, right? Isn't— wouldn't you want a presenter who really knows you as opposed to just throwing somebody out there who you have an allegiance to or a link to but might not necessarily know exactly who it is that you are?

Do you think you would cry during your speech?

Yeah, obviously.

You would.

But I want you to imagine me just going up to Edgerun James. Hey, will you introduce me At the Pro Football Hall of Fame? Do what now?

Get Michael Doleak on the—

Tomorrow? Did I tell you, man? I don't think you were here the day Michael Doleak, as part of that Heat celebration, he was staying here at the Elser, and I saw him in the hotel, and I'm like, the guys would get a kick if I came down there with you and just brought you down there. And he's like, what time do you think you'd want me me to do that. And I'm like, if you came around 10 AM, that would be nice. Would you like to do that?

And he's like, no.

I love that guy.

Honesty.

Yeah, he just wanted to be with his cattle in Wyoming. He was wearing a cowboy hat. There's never been a Heat player quite like that. I don't think there's been another Heat player that would be from Wyoming, have cattle, and have his cowboy hat and not particularly want to be in Miami, would prefer to be in Wyoming.

Wasn't he a doctor?

Am I having that wrong?

I don't think so.

He's a medical student.

That can't be right. I don't believe my—

Escobar fue doctor.

Thank you, Tony. Getting back to that list from your father that started yesterday. So if you were listening to the show yesterday, Tony's father— Tony, it's fair to say without any insult, your father is a bit of a cartoon character.

Yeah.

Affable, fun, everybody likes Tony's dad. Gregarious. And also, Tony gave us a list yesterday, a longer list, 7 or 8, was longer than top 5 with the OLI, of things his father calls people whose names he can't remember. And then his father told Tony, no, your list is shitty, your list was no good, I can give you a better list. He gave you 5 that he thought was, was better. So are you ready, Damashek? We're gonna get some translations here as well to help.

Should I get— should I give Dave the ones from yesterday just so he has a bank of knowledge of Yeah, and the translations.

Give him yesterday's top 5 list and then give him today's top 5 list.

Okay, so my dad doesn't know you. He knows you by face but not by name. Number 5, coronel, which means colonel.

Let's see if Damashek can guess what some of these things mean, actually.

I'd like to hear Damashek just try and take some guesses.

Out of the gate hot though with colonel.

It's really strong. Colonel is great for a number of different reasons, but because the military rank isn't a special one. Like, it is, but it's not.

Mid-tier.

He's not calling you private, but he's not calling you general either. He's just going right in the middle. Coronel.

Number 4, Barón de Dios.

Badass.

It could be.

Go ahead.

Man of God.

Baron.

Baron of God.

Baron of God.

Baron of God. Really giving some powers to the stranger you're talking to.

Number 3, Dr.

Doctor. You translated that one?

I got that one, cuz it's a number 2. Monstro.

I think I got that one figured out too.

What's that one?

Monster. Yeah, boy, I'm hot.

Number 1, Estrella.

Stranger? No, Estrella is a, is a beer, so it must be beautiful, something like Dad? Tasty.

Star.

That's tasty.

Estrella Star.

We should have just let him kept going, calling Tony's friend tasty. Buzzworthy.

It's creepy, right? It's creepy. You go up to one of Tony's friends and call him tasty as Tony's dad. That would be, yeah, aggressive, lecherous.

So he heard that list, laughed, obviously. Um, my dad is very Greg Cody in a way where he loves things about himself. Uh, so he sent me— these are 5 other ones that I feel like you missed. So I could have done a top 10 list. Now another 5 here. You ready?

Yep.

Number 5: campeón.

Friend.

Companion.

Nope.

Companion.

Uh, no.

Uh, champion.

Champion.

Oh, champion. Okay, champion.

I love— I love that. I love calling people champ. That's a great—

it's the whole thing. Imagine if you call somebody champion. You say champ, but you say my Mi campeón.

So she's like a valet guy or like, you know, some—

Number 4, caballo.

Cowboy.

I've been called caballo a day or two.

Hey, caballero is cowboy, right? No, gringo is just a white guy.

Yeah, yeah.

Look, we're gonna stay right here with you. Go ahead and see if you can figure out—

Sports car by Pontiac.

Ponyak? Uh, keep trying.

It's a ponyak caballo.

Keep, keep trying.

Close to Camaro, right? Caballero is taxi cab.

Doing well.

Caballo.

You want to keep guessing?

No, I'm out. I'm done.

It means horse.

It's a horse.

Ah, dang.

Like a strong horse. My grandfather, who's also Tony, so it's Tony, Tony, and Tony. So my grandfather has the additive of caballo de Attila, which is the horse of Attila, which means you're not just a regular horse, you're the horse of Attila.

Love caballo. Oh, that's good. Call somebody a horse.

Yeah, so it's like this guy, caballo. They love that. Number 3, tiburón.

That's a great one. Do you know what that is?

Kind of candy from Europe somewhere. Triangular chocolate bar. Little overrated.

Let him keep guessing.

Let him guess. Keep guessing.

My father uses that one. Tiburón. My father uses that one a lot. Yeah, he Go ahead and see if you can guess.

A utensil of some sort? Eating utensil for somebody going into the eating hall of fame, perhaps?

This thing likes to eat.

Oh, it's a, it's a beast of some sort.

It's a beast, yeah. Give me something you wouldn't eat.

One of the most prehistoric beasts.

Oh, tiburón.

A, um, stegosaurus.

Close, close, I guess.

I like that stegosaurus holding its own with the spiked tail, swinging it, trying to, trying to, trying to hold off T-Rex in vain, probably. Tell us what it is.

It's a shark. Dude, almost a shark.

Yeah, you can eat shark. Who said you can't eat shark? You have people eat shark. I've done it.

Yeah.

Number 2, Flacco.

Ravens legend, Super Bowl champ, played in 3/4 of, uh, the AFC North. Not a Hall of Famer.

No, you don't think?

That is what his Cuban father is calling people. Joe Flockel.

That is correct.

Flockel means thin, skinny. What's up, thin guy? What's up, skinny guy?

That is not something that the Eating Hall of Fame person hears. He is not going to present you at the Eating Hall of Fame.

Flockel? Joe Flockel's not gonna do that?

Number 1.

¡Ese flaco! Dan Levitard. Ese aquí.

Number 1, we go back to the military rankings. I don't know where this one would rank. Obviously we had coronel as the top, you know, as number 5 from the last list.

Hold on a second, Tony. Did you just breathe satisfied after having an effervescent sip of soda because you were comfortable not looking at me and just saying in Spanish The skinny guy's not here.

Is that what you just did?

I want you to understand that I'm like Trump to your Pritzker. It's a Cody over there. Cody over there is, uh, you know, he's like the old New Jersey governor. The, the, you know, it's a, a shooting gallery shooting at itself here. I'm Chris Christie to me.

Yeah, yeah, that's Illinois Pritzker.

It's my wife's name, actually. I am Chris Christie.

We've lost the thread.

You've lost it, amigo.

You're alone. You are alone.

I got an amigo.

You are the only one who has lost the thread here.

Colonel.

Number one, as we go to colonel, I'd like you to put this in the ranking, Dan. Number one is comandante.

That's the highest praise right there.

Comandante. It does not get better than calling someone comandante. Commander.