Transcript of Zaslow Gets Confused Over The Name Of An Actress | Hour 2 New

Sehr gut, sehr gut, sehr gut! Sehr gut? WISO Steuer ist sehr gut. Das sagen ganz viele. Cool! Wer sagt das? Stiftung Warentest, Computerbild, Fokus Money, Chip, Finanztipp. Such dir was aus. Mega! Aber das ist doch bestimmt kompliziert.

Nö!

Einfach Foto von der Lohnsteuerbescheinigung machen und fertig. Klingt sehr gut. Ist sehr gut. Hol dir dein Geld zurück mit WISO Steuer. Kaffee in seiner besten Form. Mit kyubo wird jeder Kaffee auf Knopfdruck zum Genussmoment. Denn mit der neuen Qubo One Kapselmaschine von Qubo genießt du feinsten Spitzenkaffee aus besonderen Anbaugebieten. Vollmundige Aromen dank innovativer Press-Brutechnologie und über 17 Sorten Kaffee für jeden Geschmack. Erlebe Premiumkaffee schon ab 29 €. Entdecke jetzt die Qubo Kapselmaschinen in deiner Qubo-Fiale und auf qubo.de.

This is the Dan Levatar Show with the Stugatz Podcast.

Zaz, I know you're going to New York this weekend.

Tonight.

Yeah. And you're going to see Every Brilliant Thing, right? I am. The play. So you're seeing Mariska Hargitay. I saw Daniel Radcliffe do it. And I'm excited because this weekend as well as the Tony Awards, not the 10-day Tony Awards, but the Tony Awards. And Daniel Radcliffe is nominated for a Tony for his performance in Every Brilliant Thing. Oh, for me personally, I'm excited because if he wins for best actor in a play, that could mean I've seen a Tony Award winner, 4 different Tony Award winners in the last 3 years. I saw Jeremy Strong a couple of years ago in his play that he did. I saw Jonathan Groff and Darren Criss each win Tonys back-to-back years for their shows. But with the Tony Awards, like, I'm super pumped because Rose Byrne is nominated. I love her.

Best actress in a play.

Rose Byrne, she just lost on the Oscar. Maybe she can win the Tony for her other performance.

You know about Damages? Great show.

There's also, uh, Caissie Levy, who's nominated for, uh, one of her performances in a musical. And Next to Normal is free to stream right now. If you're a musical fan, you should go stream Next to Normal. Performance on the West End and that. But there's all sorts of awesome stuff coming up at the Tony Awards, including one of my favorite performers, Rachel Zegler. They're getting the cast—

how about this—

they're getting the cast of, uh, Book of Mormon back together. Oh, our boy Josh Gad, South Florida's own, huge South Florida sports fan, he's performing. Andrew, I love it. Um, I cannot wait to just have a drink with my wife and watch the Tony Awards. I personally think— that that's worth a toast.

Oh, yeah!

And the Tony Awards are worth a toast. Worth a Toast is presented by Cuervo.

Keep it fun. Cuervo!

Keep it Cuervo.

Excellent job, Cuervo. How about that?

I think there should be a Tony Awards, a 10-day Tony Awards. Tony, give out an award, or did you already by honoring Mike for trying hard?

I gave Mike Defensive Player of the Year Award for our runs on Thursdays at a specific undisclosed location that none of you are ever invited to, ever.

You know what, uh, you were awake to receive it. You know what I want Tony to do? Tony, forget about giving out award. I want, I want to get back to Tony giving the graduation advice, okay? Earlier we mentioned how, uh, Dave Dameshek went, went to a 5th grade graduation. Last night I went to an 8th grade graduation. Uh, I'm at, I'm at my son's 8th grade graduation. Last night we invited my mother. My mother turns, goes, you remember your kindergarten graduation? Like, yeah, I remember it so well. It was an amazing day. I remember like it was yesterday. So we— there are all kinds of grads. Like, do I remember my kindergarten graduation?

So— definitely wasn't in Idaho, we know that.

I have no idea where Idaho is. So it's graduation season, graduation is going on over, and everyone wants advice. Tony, I want to send you out, go get your— what is it? A robe and hat? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not to confuse with cap and gown. Uh, robe. Can we, can we send you out there, go get your robe and hat on? And come to you for the graduation advice?

Absolutely.

For our outgoing seniors? All right, so we're gonna send Tony out there. Let us know when you're ready, and then you'll set everybody up with the good advice. So it is Friday, and that means there, you know, it's essentially summertime. Every week you got big movies coming out. If we're doing big movie, not a big movie, that'd be interesting. Big movies are coming out every week. Have you seen the trailer? Am I the only one who's excited? Trailers for Masters of the Universe. That's He-Man. You know about He-Man?

I used to love that cartoon growing up. Oh, and Jared Leto's in this movie. He is. And typically if Jared Leto is in a movie, he's terrible. It's bad news at the box office and generally bad news with the box office. Um, I'm such a Masters of the Universe superfan that my very first pet, her name was She-Ra.

Is that right?

Yeah. And you know who She-Ra was?

Well, you— she's the Princess of Power.

Love him like a pet.

I got to tell you something, I'm very pumped up about this He-Man movie, He-Man: Masters of the Universe. The original He-Man: Masters of the Universe, I think it was 1987, I think I was 6 years old.

Dolph Lundgren.

Dolph Lundgren played He-Man, that's right. Courtney Cox was in it too. She was a made-up character, you know, wasn't, uh, Frank Langella was Skeletor. Yes, I remember seeing I remember— why is this so funny? I remember seeing that movie in the theaters. I was 6 years old. What a movie. I mean, terrible on Rotten Tomatoes, like 27%, you know, but what a movie. So obviously I'm super excited. It's a major part of my childhood. He-Man, all right? And they're finally making a new He-Man movie.

We're talking—

they're finally— almost 30 years later.

Right pronouns this time.

And I'm excited about it. And the more I've seen of like the trailer I'm like, this movie's gonna be shit. It's, it like, it's, it's just, it's not, there's no way. It's not gonna be good. But the Rotten Tomatoes scores are out, man, and they're high. The Rotten Tomatoes media score is a 69% Certified Fresh, which is so much higher than I thought it would be. The audience score, Mike, 88%.

I imagine this is a crowd pleaser if you're a fan of the lore. But it's been a while since he made—

Idris Elba's in this one!

Like, you gotta be— that's like coming out with a Huckleberry Hound reboot.

Like, you know what, you're making a good point because I'm going to force my younger son, my 14-year-old, we're tight, we do everything together. I'm forcing him to come see this with me so I don't have to go see it by myself. And the reason I say I'm forcing him to see with me is because I'm like, hey man, we're gonna go see the new He-Man movie. And he's like, I don't know anything about He-Man.

I think that's actually a benefit. I think the reason it's having so much— like, I don't know anything about him. Oh, and so for people 30 and under, or 31 and under, fuck, it's—

it—

for, for those of us who are at that age, like, it's gonna feel like a new story, which I think is probably why it's having so much success, because this is a superhero that we don't know anything about.

Well, and I saw it now again, it's Jared Leto who's playing Skeletor, so you really gotta be careful because he sucks in general. But I, some in the trailer I have seen, they make Skeletor apparently pretty close to the source material where like if you watch the cartoon, Skeletor was like kind of goofy. And apparently that is what they're doing in this movie. Uh, what's her name? Uh, Brie Larson, is that her name? Uh, I, I always get the names confused. She was in Mad Men. She's married to Franco. She's married to Dave Franco.

Yeah, Brie Larson.

Brie Larson. Is Brie Olson the one who played like Captain Marvel? Is that her name? Or am I thinking of the porn star?

Wait, Brie Larson played, uh, Alison Brie.

That's what you're thinking of.

Alison Brie. Alison Brie plays Evil Lynn in this movie. We like Alison Brie. Are you laughing because I thought she was Captain Marvel or the porn star?

I was laughing because I was like, I've never heard that name before. I'm not at all familiar with Brie Olson.

Can I Google this on my work computer?

So I, I'm excited to see this movie.

I think actually to Mike's point about Huckleberry Hound, which is a great pull, is that He-Man has been, has been forgotten about long enough that all the homoeroticism jokes that people used to make about He-Man and all of that have been forgotten, and now we can resurrect this fresh. It's different than Fantastic Four, which is intentionally— He-Man is not intentionally homoerotic. Fantastic Four, I have long contended, is a gay parable. It is, uh, really, you know, well, think it through. The Fantastic Four— fantastic. And first of all, it's, uh, it's, um, you know, uh, Mr. Fantastic, he can reach anywhere. And then there's The Thing, and then there's the Human Torch whose catchphrase is "Flame on!" And then the only woman is invisible.

Huh. So I, uh, went incognito mode and just Googled The Thing. Zazz is right.

What's her name? Well, I always get it confused. I can never remember.

Brie Olsen.

I know her.

Brie Olsen's the actress that, you know, is You gotta do incognito mode on the computer. Yeah, that's right. Okay, Brie Larson is Captain Marvel, right?

Right.

And Alison Brie is Evil Lyn in He-Man.

Oh, which one's Alexis, Texas?

Can we go out to Tony here? Tony has, uh, he is ready.

Brie is good in an omelet if you haven't tried it. Put a little Brie cheese in your next omelet.

Tony apparently is ready in his, in his robe and hat. Everybody knows, uh, not a cap and gown, it's He looks like a wizard. In a robe and hat is Tony, who has graduation— you look like a wizard.

You look like the Pope.

Thank you.

You do.

Thank you.

Well, they asked me, all right, can we get a robe and a hat? And I said, all right, this is what we got. I have a couple of hats that I can cycle through if you guys want.

Nope, that works.

You look like a Pope.

Perfect.

Remember.

So Tony, it's your time to shine. We would like some advice. For the, uh, outgoing seniors, the graduates. They are stepping into the real world.

Gotcha. Okay, so this is a senior graduation because you talked about a 5th grade graduation, then an 8th grade graduation, a kindergarten graduation. First off, my first point to the seniors: you guys already gone through 4 graduations. Congratulations, this is incredible. Your 4th and final one until you get to college, then you got to go to graduation then again. Then we all have to do— go do this whole thing all over again. So first and foremost, this graduation doesn't mean—

why are we playing Macho Man's theme song?

Just in case he comes out and hits me with something. I want to go back to a simpler time. You're graduating in 2026. Incredible job. Again, one more graduation to go, probably in 3 years, uh, 4 years, excuse me. A lot of you are going to take 5 or 6. A lot of you aren't going to go to college. I would say to the ones that aren't going to college, you're doing the right thing. College is a thing of a bygone era.

You never hear that.

Speaking of a bygone era, I, I want— I, I like Dave's assessment. Earlier on the show talking about things that used to be back in the day. You know what, you used to be able to go outside and be unsearchable, untraceable. You would go out and play in the woods or play at the park or play with your friends in the front yard. We need to go back to that, Jack. Okay, we got too much AI and technology in your phone and this and that, and the stoplights recording me when I'm driving through. No, no, no, no, no, let's go back. Okay, let's go back to the beginning. Let's go back to having autonomy with ourselves, making things with your hands, going out into the garage and pumping some iron, drinking a couple beers with your friends. All of those things are important. You know what's not important? The math you just learned. Algebra 1, Algebra 2, trigonometry, whatever it was. It was for the man to keep you down underneath their thumb. Dave, can I get an amen there? Amen. You know, they used to teach us proper things in school. Now they're just teaching us how to cheat, how to use ChatGPT or some other large language model.

And that's how all you guys passed. And that's okay. There's nothing wrong with that, except now that there's no jobs because all the data centers are taking everybody's time, treasure, and water. So going into the future, say no to the man. Don't get a corporate job. Go out and find yourself some tools. Go make something handy. Go make something of yourself and have fun in the process. Is that too doom and gloom?

Nice hat, asshole.

That's the Pope, sir. There you go, in his robe and hat. Oh no, he's changing his hat. He got embarrassed. He's putting on a new hat.

And now—

is this better?

Now he's a cowboy.

Okay, hold on, let me switch.

Hold on, he's changing the cowboy hat out now. What's he gonna pull?

How about this one? Is this one better?

Uh, no, because it must be green because it's being blacked out by the green screen.

It's a Mardi Gras hat.

Hold on, hold on. That was a tough look.

Hold on, I'm working here.

Hold on, give me another one.

It's a nice robe though. No, it reminds me of Dave Damashek.

This is a Dave Damashek hat.

Nice chat with you.

I don't know what that's supposed to mean.

Tony, you know that moment at a party or at a tailgate where everything just sort of clicks?

I know it well. It's usually when I show up, everybody goes crazy.

Yeah, you usually take all the credit for it, but it's because Tony usually walks in with Cuervo. I walk in like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cuervo is a thing that turns hanging out into "This is the night!" It has that effect on people. It does. You usually take the credit for it, but again, it's the Cuervo effect. It's like that moment in a big game where everyone in the crowd just starts standing up, hooting and hollering. Keep it Cuervo!

Keep it Cuervo, baby! Traveling used to mean I completely abandoned every good habit I had. Sleep? Gone. Nutrition? Terrible. Next thing you know, I'm in an airport eating chips for breakfast while trying to convince myself that this is somehow part of a Stanley Cup playoff diet. That's why Kachava travel packs have become part of my routine this summer. They make it ridiculously easy to stay consistent when you're on the go. I just throw a couple packs in my bag and I'm set. Just quick, all-in-one nutrition wherever the day takes me. And honestly, I feel the difference. Kachava is packed with plant-based protein, fiber, vitamins and minerals, greens, probiotics, electrolytes, and more. I've had better energy during the day, and I don't feel like I'm trying to recover from terrible travel eating decisions afterward. Plus it tastes good. Chocolate, vanilla, matcha, coconut, acai. They've got options. I have chocolate and vanilla. I take one scoop of chocolate, one scoop of vanilla, mix them together.

Boom.

Delicious. No artificial flavors, colors, sweeteners, no fillers, no nonsense. Take your daily ritual with you. Go to kachava.com and use code DAN for 15% off your first order. That's kachava, k-a-c-h-a-v-a.com, code DAN.

Dan Lebatard! If Daniel Day-Lewis did it, you'd be jerking off all over yourself.

Oh, come on.

Yeah, I would be.

Aggressive description.

I mean, what is it?

What is that? I'm just saying.

No, that's just saying what? That's me. Daniel Day-Lewis does something. I see that photo of Daniel Day-Lewis looking like Lincoln before he's about to start filming Lincoln, and you know what I do, Amin? Stugatz! I jerk off all over myself. That's what I do.

Lincoln, who you outed the other day.

Don't make this a rejoin.

This is the Dan Lebatard Show with the Stugatz! All right, good job, Tony. You can come back now. Everyone is very inspired with your graduation advice.

Uh, yeah, we talked on Football America a number of weeks ago about the literal hi-hat that the, that the carver at the end of the buffet line— yeah, he carves you your roast beef and whatever. Sure. I mean, This guy is appropriately wearing a high hat because he's so— he's so Spartan with meat that isn't his, by the way. It's the man's meat, you know, but he's carving it for the man because that's his job to do it. What does he get out of it about only giving me like half a sliver of meat? Why do I have to play the role of the glutton and say, can I get an extra piece there? Can I get— can you give me one more so I don't have to get up again in 6 minutes and come and get another? Just give me an extra slice of meat. Like, okay. And then they're always put out by having to do it like this, and then they carve you another one like you're— like, like you've asked for too much at an all-you-can-eat buffet. Is it too much to ask to have more than half a slice of meat?

Is that the one that bothers you the most? You know, like when you're at a service like that where it clearly doesn't, or at least it shouldn't matter to the guy who is serving you behind the counter. It's all like you've already paid for it. Is that the one that bothers you the most, where the dude skimps? Like, what does it affect you?

Give me more.

I went to a— I was in a— I'm sorry, this is revealing, but go on into a liquor store. I went into a liquor store last weekend with my 19-year-old daughter.

There's no—

they don't card you as you walk in in California, apparently. But she was with me as I grabbed something from there and I went to the counter to pay for it. And they said, sorry, sir, you're not allowed to buy that unless she shows her ID as well. Wow. Pointing at my daughter. And I said, why? I'm buying this. And she said, well, and the woman behind the counter said, well, she helped you make that choice. And so therefore we can't allow you to buy that. And I said, by what standard is that the case? That she looked at it so she can't? So now I can't purchase it because her brain somehow absorbed it? It was wild. So that trumps maybe the hi-hat guy, but I'm gonna have to deal with the hi-hat guy for the rest of my life. So I am pre-angry at him for the next visit I have.

I must admit I must admit though, I get where the liquor store is coming from. Nah, I would have told her, "Fuck!" No, that looks like you're buying it for her.

So what? What's it there for?

That would be underage drinking, Dave. That would be underage drinking. You need an ID to do this.

But how are they culpable in that? So you're going to reject the business on behalf of the man? The woman behind the counter wasn't making any money either way, other than what she was getting paid on an hourly basis to be there. So what standard is she applying there? 'Well, you had a 19-year-old with you, so I'm not going to let you buy this booze even though you're—' Well, why wouldn't they tell you that when you're 30?

Why would they tell you that when she walked in the door? Like, I know that they're not carding her when she walks in, but if they're not going to let you purchase it without her ID, like, why didn't they say something immediately?

Because everybody's got to prove that they hold some residency up on Mount Pius. Apparently everybody's got to let you know, like, I'm going to look down on you, a regular person, because I have this little bit of power that allows me access to Mount Pius for a little while, and so I'm going to use— I'm gonna flex the muscle that I have here. It's all gross.

So in California you need an ID to buy liquor but not to vote? Okay. Okay, that's how we're doing things.

Gotcha. Tony, can you explain to me here—

I just realized something, by the way, in my commencement speech I told everybody to be Ted Kaczynski, basically.

My bad about that. Can you explain to me what's happening with Kevin Durant? So Kevin Durant, who is notoriously private, apparently was caught by paparazzi last night out to dinner with a young lady, an unidentified young lady. And Durant, who again, notoriously private, upon seeing the paparazzi, he apparently got very shy. And he was— if we could, if we could have the video team pull this up. He got very shy and he decided to hide in the bushes.

Yeah, it's gonna take you a second to actually find KD, 'cause you're looking around, you're like, "Alright, in the bushes, there's like a bonsai tree in the back," and then you look up on the bush and then you see the semblance of some sort of Kangol hat, and then all of a sudden it's like, "Oh, I see KD's eyes. Can we zoom up there?" About 7 feet in the air to where his security guard or some other patron of the restaurant was standing.

Yeah, like when I first saw the picture, I saw the woman and I saw this guy, I don't know who the hell he is, but he must be a security. Uh, maybe security, I don't know. And, and then it says that Kevin Durant hid behind the bushes until their car arrived, which they then entered together. I had to then go back to the picture. Where was Kevin Durant?

And you could see right there, you could see—

How about fisherman's beanie? Like half his face, and he's got a, a skull cap on, and there he is hiding in the bushes.

I mean, he's, he plays in front of 20,000 fans every single night. He has an audience of millions, uh, on social media, but yet going to Nobu in Malibu is the last straw of trying to be pictured.

Weird. Like, how does that conversation go where like he's out there with the girl and, you know, she's like, uh, what are you doing? You wait for the car. What the hell?

Why was that bad form? He lets her twist. Yeah, she's now got to answer.

I'm gonna go hide in the bushes.

He left— he let her stand out there, so now people are going to set about figuring out who she is, and now she's going to have to answer questions.

Couldn't this also just be him in the coming days? This could be an unfair edit if we put it back up. No way. This could just be him walking behind her and like a Deception thing with the bush behind Like, I get, I get in the still shot, like, the bush could be—

you think just in the middle of the parking lot there's a random bush?

I think no, this is clearly like a valet area. No, I understand, like, past— there could be bushes around there, there could be a driveway like on the other side of that, but he's cutting through bushes. I'm just saying this could be a depth perception thing. He could just be walking by that.

Dave, let me see it again, let me see it again here. If Chris is on to something, is there a random bush just in the middle of the valet. There's no way.

I mean, just the idea, though, that you guys are— the picture you guys are painting is him leering over a bush. Yes. Like, as if the paparazzi isn't going to take a photo of him 5 seconds later.

No, in Chris's defense here, I do see a world where, where maybe there's a sidewalk that Kevin Durant is walking on. Our depth perception is screwed up here. The bush that he seems to be hiding behind is closer on one side of the sidewalk. And the other bonsai tree or whatever that is is on the other side of the sidewalk. So he's actually in the process of walking through these two bushes.

Trying to be fair.

That looks like a curb more than it does a sidewalk.

You know anything about me? I like to be fair.

Yeah, it does. It looks like a curb.

The green bush between the two of them looks frighteningly like the state of Idaho. I wouldn't know. Please. I wouldn't know. Pull it up and look at how much it looks like the state of Idaho. Maybe we can do a side-by-side comparison.

Look at that. It does. It's Idaho. Ringing any bells, Ez? No, I don't have a clue.

What's the next question in this Geo Game that Dave Dameshek has introduced us to? What's the next question? We did a question on where's ESPN's headquarters. Well, we've— Tony found that first.

Mike, did you see Idaho in the background though?

I did. Yeah, no, that was a great shot.

Well, that was for Ashton Gente, where he accumulated all of his collegiate rushing yards. Do we have another? Oh, we— I think the next question was the Lakers, before they moved to Los Angeles, won 5 championships in this city right now. Of course, that is— I don't like that city whatsoever. That's Minneapolis. Now, such a nice time there. Now, I am— I bet you did. I'm very good at finding states.

Yes. All right, go over to Somalia.

I, I think I know the area that Minnesota is. Is, I think, but I'm not 100% sure.

Not Minneapolis.

No, the state of Minnesota. I would not have a clue. You, you think I should know where Minneapolis is on the map?

Back out a little bit.

I think you should know where the state of Minnesota is. A little bit more across the pond.

Is it like next to Michigan?

Lewis is the one that's, uh, actually answering the questions. He got 100 on that one.

Oh, well, think about think about, Zazz.

I like this game. You know, sports—

yes, sports should guide you, at least get you in the ballpark here. What are the rivalries in the Big Ten? Who is Minnesota's chief rival in the Big Ten? It's Wisconsin, right? Okay, that should help— oh, help you find Minnesota in the continental U.S.

All right, I don't know about that. No, nah, whatever. Okay, okay. So Game 2 tonight of the NBA Finals, once again in San Antonio, and my question is, you know, we saw the fan who ran onto the court, which again, I don't understand. So I'll ask Dave this because I asked you guys and no one gave me a good enough answer. So I'll ask Dave now. The fan ran onto the court, he was immediately scooped up by security, and then later on in the night his video of him running onto the floor, he was recording himself, was posted on social media for everyone to see. I don't understand, like, wouldn't the first thing you do if you're security after you rush him off the court is take the phone and delete the footage so that he doesn't actually get to have the thing that he tried to do?

Like, why wouldn't they delete— you don't have the right, you don't have the right to take someone's phone and delete—

he doesn't have the right to trespass and run on the floor.

Like, you arrest somebody, that doesn't mean— like, I know that in this, in this instance, he's clearly guilty because they got him on the floor. But it's like there's a whole process. You can't just like— you think a security guard at a restaurant has the jurisdiction— at a restaurant— at a stadium has the jurisdiction to just delete something? Who cares? What happens?

We live in a society. What happens when he does that? Like, he ends up going, oh my God, they went into my photos. They deleted the video that I took illegally. What happens? What happens? Zazz, he committed a crime.

People pretending to be cops in our society. Yeah, security guards have no business taking the phone out of your hand. And all of that.

He committed a crime.

Okay, that's not the security guard.

Yeah, but there's a process.

Get him off the floor. That's it.

That's it. I can't believe I'm— what if, what if he ran to the court and he punched Wemba Nyama right in the face?

You got a problem with them taking the video away? The lady at the liquor store, if the lady at the liquor store had him, she would have deleted the phone and, and broken it and all of that because she has to dance for the man, apparently.

I can't believe I'm on my own on this.

You should be on your own. I think even, even if he punched Wemby in the face, it doesn't mean you can delete the video.

You can't just take property. Turn it into your kid at Rolling Loud a month ago. Yeah, he's doing— he's videotaping the kids with the trash cans and crazy shit's happening and security guard comes up to him like, hey, you can't videotape here. And he takes— snatches his phone off and all of a sudden you have the story. My son told me that some security guard snatched his phone, deleted a video. Like, you're happy with this? Like, we can't have security guards deleting videos.

Who knew Zazz and Mike were narcs? Mike coming down on me, judging me for bringing my 9-year-old.

They don't know that's your daughter. I happen to agree.

And even if it is your daughter, employee at the, at the Lakers, makes it more like I play great diva. I happen to play great defense myself in basketball. Appreciate that woman playing defense for the law.

I mean, do it like everybody else does. Talk about it in the car, then you go in, you buy it, and then you sneak it in, and then you say, have fun, honey. You can't bring her in there. I mean, there are cameras.

So the liquor store wants me to leave—

Is she not a dog? I'm leaving her in the car?

I'm like, that's what the liquor store wants. You want me to leave my 8-year-old daughter in the car with it running? That's it? That's a good option? Thanks, liquor store.

Guys, guys, don't do this. You're putting the cashier in a terrible spot. You know, that's the rule. If someone's underage, you don't sell them alcohol. And if you suspect it could be a scenario in which someone older is buying them alcohol, That's a classic high school scheme. You can't be doing that.

Apparently cuck— being a cuck is contagious in that studio.

I'm not a cuck. I am Prime Dennis Rodman. Summer always hits different once the big games start stacking up. Now you've got finals games on every other night, baseball's rolling all week, racing on the weekends, and suddenly everybody's looking for an excuse to get together. The other night, a buddy texted me, we've got the game on, come through. I figured I'd stop by for maybe an hour. That was optimistic. Next thing you know, everybody's locked into the game and we're all part of the coaching staff. Somebody's yelling at the ref, somebody else is suddenly an expert on pitch strategy, and nobody's even pretending they're leaving early anymore. It's one of those nights where you take a sip of Miller Lite, look around, and realize, yeah, this is exactly what summer is supposed to be. That's why Miller Lite is always part of these nights for me. It's clean, refreshing, easy to drink when it's hot outside, and perfect for long nights hanging with friends, watching games. An all-American summer starts with an all-American beer. Miller Lite. Go to MillerLite.com/Dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer.

It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. The final round of basketball season is here, and only DraftKings has you fully covered. The DraftKings Sports app is now available in all 50 states and includes every market, so you're in on the action at the speed of sports. Sweat every possession of the series, all in one place with one app. New DraftKings customers sign up with code DAN, spend $5, and get $200 in rewards within 21 days. That's code DAN. In partnership with DraftKings, the crown is yours.

Bet with DK Sportsbook. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. 1-800-MY-RESET. New York, call 877-8-HOPE-N-WIRE. Text HOPE and why. Connecticut, call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas, bet tax pass-through. Mailpline Illinois, 21 and over. Void in Ontario. Event contract trading with DraftKings predictions involves risk of loss. Sportsbook bonus bets expire in 7 days. $50 in predictions dollars issued weekly for 3 weeks expire in 1 year. Redeem one non-withdrawable reward. Availability varies. Predictions offer void in New York. Ends June 28th. Terms at dkng.co/audio. Da libertad!

I win in the margin. I'm like, I'm like— You're Moneyball of sex? I'm basically Scott Hatteberg. A lot of walks. Stugatz. A lot of walks, but I'm on base. When it comes to sex, I'm Scott Hatteberg. Other dudes, they can be Giambi. You know your role, you play well. I know my role.

This is the Dan Levatar Show with the Stugatz. Chris, I wouldn't like if they took my son's phone, especially considering he didn't commit a crime.

That's a, that's a gray area right there.

There wasn't a crime committed.

Can a security guard snatching phones ass?

Thanks to a valiant cashier that said, I'm sorry, no one's above the law here. I know it's California and you hippies do whatever you want. But we got rules.

I'm legitimately stunned that I'm by myself on this one.

You think it's the responsibility of the security guard making $20 an hour to take the phone from this person who did this, who, by the way, is another conversation, is getting away with this and laughing while they're dragging him off the floor. It's definitely going to inspire more of this. But you think that the move of the security guard for, like I say, for his $20 an hour should include deleting a video? Why not?

What are you talking about? Why not?

Why not? Because we're not all participating in the man's surveillance state. What are you suggesting? I'm suggesting— Rattin' on each other?

No, I'm suggesting trying to stop this from ever happening again because it's dangerous. I mean, I don't need to remind everyone, Monica Seles, right? Would we have taken the phone away from the guy who stabbed Monica Sellis? Like, this is dangerous!

Running onto the floor. You're coming across like a crazy person. I am?

But if anything, the phone, the video that he took is like evidence. Like, the idea that— evidence!

The evidence is the television!

The idea that it's like, delete that video, that video can show where he was before, like, it's like, that's part of the case! Delete the video? A security guard, like, what—

have you—

you know anything about law? Also, 20,000 witnesses. Right!

Like, we all know it happened. It didn't only happen because they didn't take away his phone.

But he ain't a cop! We don't need people pretending to be a cop out in the world. That's right. We don't need more people doing it. What are you talking about, Zass?

So, where do we draw the line then? Like, those weren't cops that rushed him off the floor.

Well, I got great news. You're never gonna have to deal with it again with that guy because The next morning it was announced that that guy banned from NBA games for the rest of his life.

So that's another thing, right?

Never mind the fact, never mind the fact that this is a completely impossible standard to set for all ticket rippers for the next, what, 40 to 70 years. Be on the lookout for this cat. If he comes to me, if he shows up in San Antonio or Sacramento or Idaho somewhere, don't worry, Zazz won't find him there. 'But we will find him and ban him from getting into our arena.' You're so right.

I would take it a step further, Dave. I think he could show up at the Spurs game tonight and still get in.

I think that would be the funniest thing ever. And I'm not supporting criminal behavior necessarily, but I would see, because it's not exactly a U.S. law, it's just an NBA rule, which is not commensurate with actual law. I would go to the stadium if I could get into the arena and take a selfie, and then as soon as the game ended, post it and say, "Your move, Silver." I just—

you're right though. I don't understand these people who— these fans who get banned because they're acting a fool and run onto the field or the court or whatever. They're really not able to get back into a game ever again? Like, how does anyone stop them?

I cannot. I'm not on your level, guys. I don't understand this at all. You know why no one rushes the field at the University of Miami? Because we all think we die. We all legitimately, we all think we die. By who? By whose hand? By the police's hand. And the people stop it like—

That's not a great environment. You think the police are gonna kill you?

And yeah, yes, yeah, yes. The visual of a prime Dennis Rodman running onto a Miami Hurricanes game.

Oh my God.

Mix with Mitchell Robinson.

I've been talking around it. There is some privilege going on over here with Dave Damashek's view of the world lately. That guy's breaking laws left and right.

What are you talking about?

Yeah. Oh, what? I can't. I can't buy alcohol with a 19-year-old. I can't run onto a court and come back. Like, this is extremely privileged, guys.

I've run out on football fields before. When I was matriculating, I went out there, I participated in tearing down goalposts, you know. Wait, now that's an evil in me?

At Indiana, back when you were in school, they had that opportunity?

Well, if they won a game, it was common to storm the field. Boy, oh boy. Wait, wait, wait, the game's over and we have more? We have the other team—

That's destruction of public property.

We're ahead by 2 and the game is over? Oh, let's get down on the field. Who knows when we'll have this opportunity again? I think—

I think rushing the field is— I get that, but it's dangerous and I understand both perspectives. I think the tearing down of the goalposts is, you know, it's just dumb. Yeah, we won. Let's break shit. I don't like that. Go home and— or go to your car, slam a few down with your boys, have a couple of Miller Lites, say, take your first sip, look around, say, yeah, this was the right decision. This is what the summer moments are all about. And, you know, and then chill.

Do you maintain two homes, one in Miami and one up on Mount Pius, or do you just Airbnb when you want to head up there to cast a judgment on the— on regular people?

If the Miami Hurricanes win the national championship, I cannot fathom a thought that's like, yeah, let's break some shit. Let's burn down the city I love.

Hey, let's destroy stuff and cost people money.

I'll never understand.

I'll never understand. I don't advocate for destruction.

I think it's very weird to reflect powers somehow result in, hey, our sports town, let's burn it to the ground.

So weird. This one is very weird. Like, wouldn't you— I agree with that. I'll never understand the rioting after you win a championship. Like, if anything, win the championship, go on, and then go to the city you just beat and burn their city down. I like that. Okay, we won and we're gonna burn your city. Why would we burn our own city down?

Okay, so the guy who looks like a cop is advocating— I know you're not talking about me. I'm anti— I'm anti anyone celebrating their championship too hard, and I should be—

I'm anti-riots.

I should be able to take your phone, your property, and delete things off of your phone.

Yeah, that are criminal activities. Yeah, criminal activities. Yes, that's right. It's literally evidence.

Even if it's not evidence, trials work. Even if it was an actual police officer, you know what, take this guy off the floor.

He shouldn't be able to delete things from his broadcast. On ABC around the world.

That's where you catch 4 seconds of it!

That's the evidence.

What about where he's running onto the court?

Like, back in the— I don't understand just the approach. Like, let me just cost people money. I think it's super disrespectful. Look, I am a partner in a dive bar, and it took a real long time for me to deprogram people writing on walls and putting stickers on stuff. I was there. There's stickers everywhere, mind you, that preexist in my ownership. But I'm over there, I see somebody putting a sticker on the pool table, I'm like, No, not important. I mean, do I go to your dining room table and put a cool S on it? I don't do that.

I don't carry down goalposts. Is not equivalent. That's a fun little celebration at the school's expense. And it's a nice moment of togetherness and rejoicing about your university. So I think it's kind of worth the hit to the school. Obviously, you don't want anyone to get hurt. I mean, now we do park our cars in the same garage, on Mount Pius or otherwise, me, Zazz, and Dennis Rodman in his prime. Thank you. With a dash of Mitchell Hurley. I don't get what the answer is, Zazz, to your question is though. I think the sociology or psychology of it is we won, we're the best, we're now officially above the law. You cannot restrain anything that I want to do, even if it's completely irrational. That's why it happens. But it's still super weird. It's— let's burn it. It's terrible.

Cop cars over. There's this guy, put stickers everywhere. Uh, his name is Info, and it's not like a cool sticker, it just says his name, Info, and it's everywhere in Miami. Now that I've told you, you're gonna— you're gonna look over— it's with an E at the end. Hey, Info, we got it. We're— we're aware you exist. You do great work. Yeah, you do. It's fine.

I don't need 8 of them. All right? Sash, you have to ask yourself now for the rest of your life, who do you want to be? Which is the path you want to choose? A life of privilege or a life of self-relegation like Mike Ryan chooses to live? Like, let's pick up basketball, but Seth says that I shouldn't shoot because I don't shoot as good as he does, so I'm just going to rebound. I'm just going to pick up game with zero stakes.

You applying a little baby voice, being a considerate human being It doesn't make it uncool, brother. I, you know, treat others as you'd like to be treated, and you can say it with bass in your voice.

They don't want you to shoot.

Oh, I like to follow the rules. Oh, oh, I don't, I don't like to break the law. I'm so, I'm such a sissy. Get out of here. I'm cool, brother. I play it super cool. I follow the law.

I saw apparently that rebound— I saw apparently that you need guys to get rebounds, all right?

Everybody wants to hang out on the perimeter. Everybody's like, all right, let's just have fun and back it up from outside. Someone's got to go underneath and, and set you up for second chance points. You like shots? Here's another one. You put it up, you miss, you feel like that sometimes. Don't worry, brother, I'll get it at the highest point. I'll kick it right back to you. Look, I think you're shooting 33% from the field. Here's one out of three. There it goes, up 2-1. I'm gonna go out.

I'm going out for a night of fun. 'Can I serve you your drinks?' What the hell kind of standard?

That ball went off me. What are you talking about?

You went out for a night of fun and you didn't shoot the ball at all?

I fouled him.

I fouled him. I fouled him. Because you know why? Because I fouled him.

And not just like the, you know, like you get a little—

You did have one foul they didn't call. They should have called that foul.

Oh yeah, I got hit in the face. But I'm a tough guy.

Prime Dennis Rodman. Well, the worst guy in basketball, in pickup basketball, is the guy who we've already covered, like who pulls his socks up too high and is probably a little old, probably the oldest guy out there. There and he defends you 37 feet from the rim. Like, will you get away from me? What do you think, I'm gonna shoot the ball from here? Um, but, uh, but yes, second place to your point, Mike, is, uh, my bad guy. The my bad guy— and it happens at the highest level of sport, you know, everybody like you, you see Wemby on down, like, oh, my bad. Like, yeah, it wasn't in question it was your bad. We all knew it was your bad. Is that— is the my bad guy— is there ever a doubt about whose bad it was? Why do they have to acknowledge, oh, what a hero he is? He pointed at himself and agreed with the rest of us who have eyes.

Kids, you want to know what's really cool? Paying your taxes. Not skirting the lines. Not expensing that trip you probably had no business expensing. Because without order, there's chaos. You need people like me. Guys that live between the lines. Guys that go up and catch the ball at their highest point and toss it back out to you. You made a mistake, that's alright. I'm there to erase it. Because I am why you live in a society.

The cuck life.

That's not a cuck life! Stop with this branding! I'm just a normal law-abiding citizen, and that's cool. Cut the sequel.

Screen left! Dan Lebatard.

There's sunglasses in boxes today, but in my bed in the hospital, ending our lives all the same. Stugatz. It's the final nightgown.

This is the Dan Levatar Show with the Stugatz.

In San Antonio, he didn't get much playing time, but then he was good, found a brand new team. With an X, now both have made the finals. Webby battles with Get Down Low. Oh, and Bronson's making pretty shots while Jeremy's just grinning. 'Cause no matter who's on top, Jeremy's sore hands getting ripped. Ring.

Jeremy Sohan's getting a ring. Okay, I, I love the song. The song is great. Thank you. Jeremy Sohan's getting a ring.

I hate the concept that he's getting a ring.

It's such bullshit.

He wouldn't be the first.

Well, I don't know if he would be the first, but I do know that we do this debate every few years where, like, I don't feel like there's ever been a conclusion to the actual debate, but we do this debate every few years where in this case, this year, it's Jeremy Sochan who played the first few years of his career, including part of this season with the San Antonio Spurs, and now he was picked up and is on the New York Knicks. So there's this idea that no matter who wins the series, Jeremy Sohan is an NBA champion and he's getting a championship ring. How are you an NBA champion if the Spurs win and they won without you? If you're not on the team?

Coming from a Pulitzer winner, this is rich.

We did this a few years ago, you remember? Anderson Varejão was one of those guys. When it was the Warriors against the Cavs, and the Warriors picked him up. The Cavs got rid of him earlier in the season. Anderson Varejão.

Rebound defense, playing pickup basketball to impress my new friend Glenn. I am Dennis Rodman. What song is that? I don't know. It was very obviously Pearl Jam.

I hate this so much.

This idea that Jeremy— if the Spurs win the championship, they're not sending Jeremy Sohan a championship ring. It's insane. He's not an NBA champion. If your team gets rid of you and then you win, and then they win, you're, you're not on the team. You're not a champion.

Oh, oh, ah!

Makes me nuts. I love the song though, Jeremy. Thank you. That's a good job. I like the song. I appreciate that. Can we play the Geo Sports Game again?

Ah, yeah, here's the next question. 4 years after his golden goal, Sidney Crosby won his second Olympic gold in this city. Was it Vancouver?

Hmm. I don't know. I don't know the answer to that one.

That was in Canada, right?

Well, you were our only hope there. We have nothing.

I'm not good on the Olympics.

I think it was Vancouver. The map is only North America, so I would assume it's a Vancouver. That is not true.

No, no. Where the hell is that?

No, it was a golden goal that he had in Vancouver. Yeah.

No, no, but the question is he won his second Olympic gold in this city 4 years later.

Okay. Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. Bad listener. Well, then it's got to be over in— who had the Winter Olympics after Vancouver? I don't know, but like, who's in any of these places? Was it Sochi? Was it Sochi? Oh, I made it with Sochi. Yeah. Oh wow, look at me.

It's pronounced So-hee, like Soham. Oh really?

Uh, well, I know it's in Russia, but I don't know exactly where. I would assume, uh, I don't know, north-ish.

I have no idea where Russia is. Oh, not a clue. Not a— well, it's by Alaska, right?

Yeah, you can see it from Sarah Palin's doorstep.

Not a clue.

You literally couldn't pick out a, a chunk of—

if my life depended on it.

I know if I gave you a globe, you couldn't turn it around and roughly say this is roughly where Russia is.

Not a clue. Why do I need to know?

But you could, you could deduce it, right? Like you could do like, well, here's the, okay, I know this is the US. Okay.

I mean, yeah, I could tell you where it's not. Here's the United States. I know it's not here. That, that's what I could do.

And then you would be able to figure out where Europe is, right? And so you would know Africa. And so like you would through process of elimination be able to arrive at this must be where it is.

I do not need to know where Russia is. I just don't.

Is it above or below the equator?

Not a clue.