Transcript of The Big Suey: The Beads of a Bachelor

Welcome to the Big Suey, presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebitard podcast. I'm sorry. I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now, here's the marching band to nowhere, Fatface and the Pitchou a Liar.

This episode of the Dan L'Oubitar Show is presented by DraftKings. Draftkings, the Crown is yours.

Can you guys get me nick Turturo or the Kid Mero or somebody from New York over the course of this show so that I could just make fun of the Yankees and celebrate it all day. And speaking of celebrating the failures of others, can you guys please find for me credible reporting on Bill Belichick? Because I keep seeing that he's discussed his buyout with North Carolina and that he has signaled that he might be willing to trigger the $1 million buyout so the whole experiment won't last very long, would last the equivalent of about a month. But is that real? What's the real reporting on that that's most accurate on? Is Belichick trying to just get out of there?

Well, let me say that Ollie Conley, despite how certain North Carolina fans may feel about him, is reputable on the Bill Belichick front. His reporting on this at the time of his signing was accurate. Ollie Conley, for those that don't know, once listed the Duke as one of the greatest NFL insiders on the planet.

Not once, twice, as Billy corrected you on. Was it just twice? I thought it was three times, and each ranking was higher than the previous one. The Duke rose to fourth greatest international football insider. That's as high as it got. I thought it was going to get to number one because that progress was linear. It was straight up. It didn't bounce down.

Well, what ended up happening to my understanding, is Ollie stopped covering football, so the list stops. So I think it's like former Heisman winner, whatever. You're always a Heisman winner. So I will, because of the fact that there's been no updates to the list, I will always, I think, be the fourth highest whatever, football, something that Ollie did. Now, Ollie was all over this initially, the first time around. And this second time around, I have taken great joy in texting friends from North Carolina saying, This Ollie, he's telling us what's going on here, and he's saying, Bill's gone. And they hate Ollie in North Carolina. They're like, He's so full of shit. He doesn't know what he's talking about. I was like, That is right. He was right there the first time around. I believe Ollie, which is weird because he's, to my understanding, British, and I don't know how it is that he has contacts that knows exactly what's going on in Chappaqua.

Not so long.

He has tweeted, and it's credible enough that it has more than 10 million views because whether you think he's a credible insider or not, he's He's reporting per sources that Bill Belichick has discussed buyout options with North Carolina's hierarchy, and he has signaled the willingness to trigger his own $1 million buyout if he can find a soft landing with another team or in the media. Please put it on the poll, Juju at Lebitard Show. Is Billy indeed the fourth-highest whatever football, whatever insider, whatever?

I had one of my most awkward public moments with Ollie Connolly at the Super Bowl. I think two years because he came up to me. It was the last day. Last day of Super Bowl, you're always just trying to get to the flight, basically, pick up everything. It was late in the day, and he appeared. He's like, Hey, what's up, Billy? How's it going? I was like, Hey, how's it going? I was half paying attention, whatever. He's like, I'm Ollie. I was like, Ollie? Then I was like, Can I give you a hug? I gave him this big hug, and I could tell he very much did not want a hug from me. He's like, Sure, I guess. Whatever. I gave him a hug. I'm like, Man, it's so great to meet you. I'm so excited and blah, blah, blah. He's like, All right. Okay, I got to go now. He left me because of how awkward I made things.

Well, it's funny that you should mention that on a couple of fronts. One, Ollie Connolly is Mina Kimes' guest on her podcast, The Mina Kimes Show featuring Lenny. And so if she respects him, you should as well. But when you bring up that story-We respect Ali Khan. I meant the audience.

He's incredible. He's from The Guardian.

He goes bald. I hugged him, okay?

I don't just hug anyone. Mike has additional reporting I'm putting on this. But to that point, and perhaps you guys will be surprised at this as well, you don't just hug anyone. And this week, you and I hugged at my instigation, and I felt the way that you felt around and with Ollie, I felt like you didn't want that hug from me.

No, I'm a good hugger. I give a good hug. I just don't know when it's appropriate to hug and when it's not. I used to be a hugger. I do the hello hug. Hispanic culture very tricky with the hello kiss. We're not going to beat around the bush on that one because you don't know, is it presumptuous to give a hello kiss? When you grow up, you're in high school, whatever, hello kiss, hello kiss. But then you leave your bubble and you're no longer dealing with only Hispanic people and you don't want to give Hello Kisses to people who don't understand that this is just part of the- And then COVID?

Oh, COVID, right. Yeah, COVID hurt the Hello Kiss.

He's so right about this, though.

I don't know what is our... I tried to meet a person's greeting with what they are comfortable with, and I often miss the mark. It's not like I miss the mark where I've gone too far. It's I miss the mark where I make things uncomfortable because it's like, Oh, this is a hug thing? Is this a hello kiss thing? Where you make a kiss sound and you touch cheek to cheek, but you don't actually kiss the person's cheek.

That's weird. Thank you, Billy. That's weird. Thank you for bringing all of this up. We will get to Mike Ryan's new information on Bill Belichick. He has additional reporting on this, but I do want to tackle both of these things. You're saying falsehoods. You're saying you received and wanted that hug from me because I felt like while you may have one day been a hugger, you are no longer a hugger because you've been scarred by niceties in society that have knocked both the kiss and the hug out of the Latin man.

No, I mean, really, if we're going to be honest, what's ruined the kiss and the hug is sexual predators. Let's be fair there. It's not niceties. It's not that the world's become more rude. Yeah, it's like the there that make people uncomfortable, where it's like, this is just a greeting. There's no further request on my end for where this shall go. I'm just saying hello because this is how it was raised. This is part of my culture. The hug also, I will say, I have a stye at the moment, so I'm trying not to get my face too close to people. The good thing about glasses, the glasses hide the stye a bit.

Anyway. The hug I gave you, was it wanted or was it not wanted?

Yeah, it was well received. It was fine. I don't walk around wanting hugs. I accept hugs should they come my way.

Tony, do you have this problem in either feet or pieds? Do you have the problem of coming up to somebody, greeting them with a kiss the way Latin men do? Because I've had this knocked out of me. I've had it knocked out of me on a couple of fronts. One, by people expecting the second kiss on the second cheek. That's European.

Yeah, where were you? That's not. That's European.

No, I'm saying that what ends up happening is once I go in for the first kiss, there are certain members of society that then expect the second kiss that I'm not coming in to give the second kiss. The first kiss is all you're getting Latin style, but many people don't want that either, and now I'm gun-shy.

Yeah. Well, again, we run in different circles, Dan.

Yeah, the two kiss is a tapaboca. If you go and you give someone, it's like then you're being a fric when you're really trying to see how much you can get away with. Exactly right.

You're trying to get an extra little kiss in there. If you're over in Europe, two kiss is okay. You go two kiss. If you're in Miami, one kiss. I don't have an issue with... I'll go up. I gave Mike a hug today for his birthday. So I have no issues with intimate touch when it comes to greeting.

Kiss Mike. Is this a generational thing or something?

Maybe it's because you're older and that this new generation is like, No, we're not accepting that anymore. No, we accept it. We I'll do it.

I think in Latin culture, the reason I was asking Tony is because I'm assuming he's almost only exclusively running in Latin circles.

I don't shake hands. I only shake hands with people I don't know. Hey, how are you doing? Okay, great. I'm going to shake your hand. But if somebody that I know, if it's an extended family member, even Even if it's somebody that haven't seen in a long time, I'll go in.

No, but this is where I make the mistake, though. I will, by way of greeting, simply because I'm Latin and got grandfathered in, people I'm meeting for the first time, I will go in for a kiss, and I don't think that's acceptable anymore. That's still acceptable. I do the same thing. I'm with Billy on this. What's the new reporting that you have for us?

I want to add to Ollie Conley's reports because most people just read that first tweet of his, but there's a lot of detail here, and it tracks with how these things go, folks. So he goes on to add, Members of Belichick's coaching staff have already spoken to other schools. That's a pretty big one, and I'll explain why later and add that to another tweet that he has. The rats are, quote, leaving the ship. Some staffers believe a change will come within two weeks. Reports of serious recruiting violations remain under investigation at UNC. Recruiting and practice violations have already been proven by the school, according to multiple sources. Using recruiting violations to knock down a coach's buyout has become standard practice. Once again, totally accurate. Just learning from history from Ollie. Belichick's communication with his staff over the past two weeks has been described as weird and distant by multiple members of UNC's coaching staff. Multiple coaches were unable to get a hold of him during UNC's by week. This is where I have something to add because I have spoken directly to people that were- Happened to know? Yes, I happened to know that I've spoken to people that were around that program when Bill Belichick was both floating with UNC and then assembling his staff over there.

There was a moment in time when Bill Belichick was already on UNC with a Dallas Cowboys job went open, and Bill Belichick wanted that job. And this echoes exactly how he treated the rest of his staff at that time. He was weird. He was distant because he was actively going for that job. This has happened a couple of times where everyone knows he wants to get back to the NFL. I hear that, and it tracks with what I heard from before. And the coach himself, who has been photographed in Nantucket with Jordan on a bi-week. Strange time to take a vacation when you're underwater with your program. He came out with a statement saying he was fully committed to the program. The program backed him up there. You see something like that, and you know there's something to the rumors right now. This is not going well for Bill Belichick. And yesterday, I turned to my left and I said, What would we handicap Bill Belichick actually returning next season to North Carolina? This is starting to get messy, folks. Ollie's a good reporter on this beat. If Bill Belichick does come back to North Carolina, I expect him to tread water over there for a couple of months and then deuce out.

That's always been the plan. He was hoping to rebuild his coaching credibility and get back to the NFL Well, unfortunately for him, his ego, and those around him, it is not going the way he thought this would go, and it's hurting his chances. He's probably better quitting now than further cementing his name as a failure.

Oh, my God.

He knows.

He happens to know. Come, everyone.

Come and listen.

Happens to know. He happens to know. Well-informed.

You said cryptically that you turned to your left and had a conversation about next year. I would think at this point, the flames have gotten high enough in terms of legacy destruction that most people listening to this do not expect him to last the year.

It's a capitulation, Dan. Sometimes you're on the stock that's tanking and decide, I don't want to lose at all. I'll just save 20 %. And over time, that'll be fine. And I think he's giving serious consideration to saving face and getting out while he still can, even though I think it's pretty tarnished.

I mean, does he look better by quitting in the middle of the season? I don't know. That makes him look any better than just finishing out the year and say, You know what? I retire. This isn't for me, or whatever.

I think adding more Ls doesn't help his cause of ultimately trying to get back. Howdy, folks. It's Mike Ryan. Super excited to talk to you about the official ticketing partner of the Dan Lebitard Show. They've been a good partner of ours, and I couldn't be prouder of it because, folks, I really use Game Time. I practice what I preach here, people, because the Game Time app gives the advantage back to fans. It's a hack for unlocking amazing tickets, especially when it comes to the National Football League. It is hard to get some really prime NFL tickets, and Game Time makes it so incredibly easy because the interface is beautiful and easy easy to understand. And the game time guarantee means that you can trust that you'll be getting 100 % authentic tickets on time and at the best price. Plus, fees are always included. So what you see is what you pay. You get zone deals, favorites, panoramic steep views, the low price guarantee, and game time's unparalleled ticket coverage. Take the guesswork out of buying NFL tickets with game time. Download the game time app, create an account, and use code, Dan, for $20 off your first purchase.

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Don Levatard.

Bob Kraft.

The only reason your organization is good is because of Bill Belichick. Stugatz.

Belichick has done nothing since since Brandy left.

He made the playoffs once. I think at the very least, he should not be a first ballot Hall of Famer. They should make him wait like 10 years to get it.

He's an overrated coach.

This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugats.

I need to stop Mike, though, when he uses the language of tarnished or... I mean, you said it's not good. It's a good deal worse than that. I do not have anything close to precedent on what I've witnessed happen to Bill Belichick in all of five games. We could sit here and I can do these stats as an example. Andy Reid, without Mahomes, is 60 games over 500. He's got 13... This is without Mahomes. This is Andy Reid, without Mahomes. It's better to do it in this order than the order that Belichick did it in. Without Mahomes, Andy Reid, 60 games over 500, 13 playoff births, eight division titles, one Super Bowl, 11 playoff wins, 8 top 10 Offenses.

One Super Bowl appearance.

Yes. Thank you. Belichick without braided, 20 games under 500, two playoff births, zero division titles, zero Super Bowl, one playoff win, zero top 10 offenses. So I can give you those numbers, but none of those numbers stick to Belichick the way these five games stick to Belichick. You guys are doing legacy, and I don't know it hurts him that much. I can't believe how much it hurts him because I say these five games make it hard for him to get a pro job that he wants, one with power, because he had to interview twice in Atlanta and didn't get that job. I think these five games unmask him. It's not just that you don't want Belichick, you don't want the fool who's got the 20-year-old girlfriend wandering around your program. You can't give this power anymore. The only thing he gets is a media job or a coordinator job. I don't believe he's allowed to run a program anymore.

Yeah, but in the grand scheme of things. He's still one of the greatest coaches of all time. This is just going to be a footnote. We never talk about how much of a failure nick Saban was in Miami between stops at college. He's still going to be remembered as one of the greatest coaches ever. But that's because he had massive success at Alabama after failing.

There's no success for Bill Belichick after this. Here's why I do think Bill Belichick should get out now, because Bill Belichick, outside of the success, is also known for a certain mentality in the Patriot way and Zero distractions. This has been a total circus. This right now just adds to the circus. We wonder, how could it feel more like a circus at North Carolina? In the middle of the week, you have reputable reporters saying you're trying to find your way out and you're going on vacation with your girlfriend and your school has to put out a statement saying the dreaded vote of confidence. This is bad. Get out while you still can.

I'm not actually doing what Billy Billy's doing. I think Billy is correct when he says, once we step back from the flavor or the scandal of the moment, the way history will remember Bill Belichick is as one of the greatest coaches ever.

It's like Pete Carroll, too.

I'm not disagreeing with that part. It's also the part that I find less interesting because we can argue all we want about people's legacies, and Conan O'Brien will stand over the grave of Calvin Coolidge and be like, When's the last time anyone talked about Calvin Coolidge? Yeah, Belichick will be one of the greatest coaches ever. I'm talking about the right now for Belichick and how it must be for one of the people who truly believes himself to be one of the great coaches of all time to embarrass himself so much that even before this, Atlanta was saying, Now we'll go, Rahim Morris. You'll need to interview two times.

I have to stop you there because I also happen to know what happened with Atlanta a little bit. You're putting it too much on Atlanta. While they may have deduced that after the whole pursuit, a lot of what happened with Atlanta was Bill Belichick not wanting to follow through with it, thinking he could get a better situation because he didn't want to have to do the things necessary to become the Atlanta Falcons head coach.

Mike, my larger point is, one of the greatest football coaches ever is not welcome back in this world because he's made a fool of himself on and off the field for five games. It took five games. Whatever the details around Belichick in Atlanta, Belichick couldn't get any job that he wanted this offseason, so he settled for one in the minor league. And five games later, he's in a worse position than he was five games ago, because now who wants to bring any of that in? You tell me, Jerry Jones is willing to be so small and petty that he's actually appealing that $250,000 fine. If Jerry Jones wanted Bill Belichick five games ago, you think he still wants him?

Steven Ross.

I'd take him, honestly.

There's so many Dolphin fans.

Kamerrex, right? That's what it does with Belichick. It can't get much worse. Two of us out here saying, I don't care if I throw touch downs or interceptions because I just have a happy family. Like, buddy, care. Lie Serum. I keep telling you guys, inject Tua with Lie Serum because he keeps saying all of the wrong things. I'm so happy that he has found happiness, and he's centered, and he has a stable life. Don't tell me about it, okay? Don't tell me about how happy you are because I'm not happy. I mean, I am happy. My family's great and all that stuff, but I'm not happy with this Dolphins team.

Do we have the sound of Tua having life perspective? He's on IR with a hip injury He's going to hand something on his throwing hand. There's something wrong with his throwing hand. I don't know what the injury is.

There are so many people, though, as we put a ribbon around this, that are around college football, that are college football lifers, because you have to be built a certain way right now to be about this college football life. I'd handicap it at like 80% of the coaches and the people around college football desperately want to get to the pros because this shit is crazy. Bill Belichick and his buddy Mike Lombardi think that they could... It is so Hilarious. People are loving this. They thought that they could just scroll into the wild world of college football and dominate, and people kept receipts. That's right, Mike Lombardi. We all remember when you tweeted, not sure how Mario Cristobal faces his team today. There is coaching malpractice, and then there is coaching malpractice squared. This one will go down as an all-timer. You cannot cure this. I feel pretty cured down here in Coral Gables. Mike, where's your cure?

Okay, two things. It's two on IR? Yeah. Did you just break news to his eye on high.

I'm sorry, I meant on the injured list, not the official on the injury list. My fault. If I said injured-reserved, I did not mean to say injured-reserved.

Now, if that comes out in a couple of days, we know Dan was in the know and he wasn't supposed to say something. Or not even happened to know.

Lord's time zone.

Also, Bill Belichick is embarrassing him. He's not going to get a chance because of what's happening on the field, not off the field, if we're going to be honest. Bobby Patrino still got another chance after horrible off the field. They'll abide by embarrassing off-the-field behavior if you keep winning. When you get destroyed on the field, they're like, You know what?

Maybe too far. It's still going on, though. That's a difference. Bobby Petrino had to get some separation from that and had to clean up his image somewhat and had to have success. This stuff is still... He's in Nantucket right now with Jordan.

Okay, but if we're being honest, his embarrassing off-the-fields behavior is just... He's dating someone substantially younger than him, but it's not like... He's not committing crimes. It's not like adultery. It's just like people are uncomfortable with the age difference.

It's not that. It's that she is totally taking over the public relations. She is fully embedded within that program. She's on the field. There were 52- You think Jerry Jones is going to be like, Yeah, come on over. Let's hang out. There were 52 Getty Images from that game. 27 of them were all of Jordan.

That says more about the photographers than it does about her.

No, it says he could date who he wants to date and have them in the He's dated plenty in his life. We haven't really known about it outside of a weird costume that gets aggregated occasionally. This is different. It's strange. Things go through Bill Belichick's girlfriend. It's weird.

Maybe she knows Ball. I mean, who are we to say that a woman can't know football? Honestly, this is us showing our asses, I think.

All right, stop with the asses and the Ball. Let's just identify one thing that you're saying here and attack that. You mentioned Bobby Petrino. You're right that Bobby Petrino has been allowed to return to Arkansas as a coordinator, but he has not been allowed to do that while in a neck brace on a motorcycle with his affair on the back of the motorcycle while he's patrolling the sidelines or the sky box. It does matter that this whole thing now follows Belichick in a way that makes it awfully noisy around Belichick, what you're inviting beyond the football. You have to be willing in order to make a choice, like Bill Belichick, to be so desperate that you think Bill Belichick can actually fix you in a couple of days or weeks. And maybe that's a desperation that's possible. Joe Flacko is starting for the Bengals this weekend. So that desperation can exist. But when you refer to these two people, Belichick and Lombardi in their 70s, trying to be ahead of everyone else. I heard Katie Nolan yesterday on her serious radio show screaming. She was screaming at Mike Lombardi, who, apparently, according to Katie Nolan, still uses a typewriter and is proud of still using a typewriter.

Katie Nolan was screaming the phrase, Bring it into the modern age. I've never heard Katie Nolan this angry, at Mike Lombardi for embarrassing what Belichick used to be. Do you guys realize that in the history of sports royalty, you will have a hard time finding for me anyone who's who's been unmasked like this, this quickly. You're not going to find anyone who's been unmasked like this. But this quickly, that precipitous fall, okay, there are more details on the Falcon's job. Frank Kelly has been pretty bad.

He's coaching at LSU, though. He's still acting like this guy.

Frank Kelly.

The Bill Belichick situation, all the cronies around him are perceived as jokes right now. But the pro game is different. That's why I think he should get out right now and just say, Look, I found out that college Football is just not for me. My skillset works for the pro game, and he works over the next few months when the hiring cycle begins to try to clean up the perception around his relationship, understanding that Jordan is not going to be handling public relations when we get to the NFL. He can work on that. He needs to get out now because only more stories are going to come out. It's only going to seem more like a circus, and it's not like he's going to add success to his name. It's not like he's going to show proof of concept.

The numbers that we're looking at so You realize that part of the problem here is being embedded in that program in the huddle. There's no way that he is blind to, We've lost by a combined score of 120 to 33. That's not going to get fixed in the next couple of months. There's no amount of scheming that he can do when he gets into the tough part of his schedule that's going to undo with these players the fact that he's going to get his ass kicked that way the rest of the season. And given what he comes from, Given the amount of success he's had over the 20 years, it's going to be really great to see one of the great people in sports who demanded accountability of others quit because he has to. Just be like... And it's not even his physical body. He demanded that out of the variables of the world. Their physical bodies, give it over to what it is that we're doing. Five games, and he's already looking for an exit ramp is the most human thing in the world, but it's not the most football coach, warrior thing in the world.

He was looking for an exit ramp before there was a game played. He was looking for ways out after he signed, I promise you this, I happen to know.

Yeah, but the media game that he was playing five games ago is he would have gotten a very good job as soon as Jerry Jones got tired of Schoenheimer, if he just spent the entire time talking about the sport instead of letting us watch, Oh, wait, it's not that you've got some advantage over these people. You've been left behind.

Name a funnier person for this to happen to. It's unbelievable. For an offfield circus to derail a sterling career.

He seems happy to me. I got to be honest with you. It seems like the happiest he's been in a long time. He looked like a grump when he was there in New England. Now, here, the pictures we see of him, it's like these are massive distractions, but he seems like a happy guy.

He just doesn't care about coaching at North Carolina. That's why.

What happened to honoring his father, by the way? Do you guys remember that? I was like, I'm coming here because my dad used to coach here. I'm wearing my dad It was like a whole thing. I was like, I don't have dad to be so proud of this, buddy.

You can't go off of IG. We've seen plenty of couples that look happy on the IG and that aren't happy in real life.

Don Libtard. Football.

Football.

Football. Football.

This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugats. Bill Belichick, I think, likes costumes as much as you did. We would hear about how much he loved the Halloween parties, and Randy Moss would tell us, and he'd show up dressed like a full pirate. Now we see him like Gorman the Fisherman or whatever, on the side catching his Mermade girlfriend. This guy likes to party.

I, again, do not like costumes. Come on. My wife, my young bride, likes costumes.

It's the same situation over in Belichick's house. Dan, great job distancing yourself from what's going on with Belichick.

Let me see if I can find this here. I haven't played it in a while. Let's see here. I'm going to look for it. My eyesight is bad because the old dog is getting old. Did you guys remove my... Oh, here it is.

You don't get the show. You have glasses.

Yeah, but they're over here. Oh, okay. They're over there. Thank you.

You call your glasses Cheaters yet?

That's starting to happen to me, by the way. Looked at the phone a little bit too much. What's the score of that baseball game? Also, my back started hurting for zero reason.

You're 40. It's not zero reason. It's because happy birthday to you. These are the kinds of things that happen once you start entering this particular decade. It happened to me, man.

It's bad.

Katie Nolan screaming on the radio because she was screaming, Get into the Modern Age. Can you please explain to me why Mike Lombardi is still using a typewriter, the benefits of that? Why is he pridefully telling people that he's still using a typewriter? Could any of you put this on the poll as well, Juju, at Lebitard Show? Right now, if I gave you two hours, could you go get a typewriter? Yes or no? Could you go physically get a typewriter and find one in the next two hours?

I believe his explanation was, and I'll look it up just to confirm, was something along the lines of if he uses a computer, he can very easily just erase and start over and make... He can make mistakes and it doesn't make a difference because it can autocorrect. Where a typewriter, he has to be more honed in to what he's doing so he makes fewer mistakes.

It's a dork is what it is, Dan.

Okay, you Nice go with Dork. I'm just really looking- It's the same guy that's like, Oh, I like records because they sound better.

It's like, Okay, buddy. I've got 9,000 songs.

All right, you're picking a bad fight here. You're going to lose this.

I've got records. Yeah, I know. They sound great on my thing from 1967. It doesn't sound better. The vinyl doesn't sound better. It doesn't. It sounds scratchy. That's the whole point. It doesn't sound better. It's a needle hitting a cylinder. It's the experience. It's the connection. As we get more and more digital, you have something physical, you have something tangible. It smells a certain way. That's what people like about vinyl. The scratchiness of the vinyl. That's part of the sonic experience there, but it doesn't sound better. Anybody who says that is full of shit.

Put it on the poll, please. @lebitardshow, does the record player make the music sound better? You're going to lose on public opinion. You guys may actually be right-I have records, Dan. I have records. I got a bunch of records. You may be right factually, but you don't think that poll is going to come back agreeing with you and Mike, do you? That poll for sure is going to come back with everyone saying that music does indeed sound better on a record?

It's impossible. I'm the biggest Jack White fan there is. He is largely responsible for the resurgence in vinyl, and Taylor Swift is, too, but he's so full of shit when it comes to that stuff. He also tried to lie and tell us that he didn't have a cell phone until last year. Come on.

It is a weird thing where people try to say, It sounds crisper on vinyl. No, it doesn't. It might be the only technology in the history of mankind that peaked 50 years ago, and we've gone downhill with more technology. Somehow.

You ever listened to a song that you loved on headphones and you're like, Wow, I didn't catch that part. Radiohead. What a wonder.

Put it on the poll, please, @LebitardShow as well, because I've got a handful of questions here. Getty took 57 photos of the Clemson-UNC game, and 23 of them were of Jordan Hudson.

How many of them were Steve Martin?

You gave those numbers? Yes.

You gave the actual number? I did. I wasn't listening. I guess the remaining Steve Martin.

He didn't have his cheaters on.

All right, hold on a second. Let me do this here. Let me see. This is all...

Got the glasses on.

Minor penalty, two minutes for a shit contribution.

I mean, he's right. It wasn't a shit. Well, this will allow us to talk about that one in the Super Bowl. I know. This is not going to go the way that the thing was. Wait for two weeks, Mike. There was a take that was talked about back here in the back row when it came to the Super Bowl that I think is not yet... It hasn't yet been explored by the mainstream media as it's a culture war? Unfairly so. Bad Bunny in his SNL monolog said, You've got four months to learn Spanish. Billy mentioned something to me off air that I don't think people are really considering about this.

I saw a tweet that was very one-sided, and you could guess which side of the aisle was on, where it was saying, I speak Spanish. I still don't know what the hell Bad Bunny is saying.

I don't know what he's saying at all.

Look, they also said, Bad Bunny's music is bad, which I don't agree with that. Categorically false. I I like Bad Bunny's music. However, a little bit of a mumbler, if we're going to be honest sometimes. For sure. Which is like, that's a style that's fine. It's still good music. But there are sometimes it's a little confusing as to what-I've seen people on TikTok who are like, I'm Puerto Rican, and I don't know what he's saying.

Yeah. It's like, oh, okay. That makes sense. It's like Burek. It's like Sigurro. It's just an invented language. Exactly right.. It's the vibes. I don't know what you're saying. It's the vibes. You don't have to worry about what he's saying. Just pick up the vibes. It's a beachy vibe. It's this vibe, it's that vibe. Just hang Let's listen to Bad Bunny. It's just a good beat. We'll shake our hips.

We're vibing. Remember Gangam style? I didn't know what the hell Si was saying. No one did. Yeah, people were singing it. What does Gangam style even mean?

I don't know. People liked it. It was fun. The style of Gangam. Have you seen him get shot out of that tube thing?

Yeah, that's crazy. I love that video. What if he moves slightly to one side and he hits his shoulder on the bottom of the stage? Yeah, that'd be bad.

He got shot up 20 feet in the air. He flew. Just look at the recent people that have performed at halftime. Half-time. I don't know what Rihanna is saying either. The large complaint from the last Half-Time show was, I don't know what he's saying. I can't understand. That's every Super Bowl Half-Time. I was singing the wrong lyrics to Phil Collins's songs for 40 friggin' years. It's part of our relationship with music. If they would have brought Metallica or some other band that other people like, I don't know what the hell they're saying anyway. You think you can understand half of what James Hetfield is saying? You need to understand what the lyrics are? I need to close to see what he's saying. Most of the songs are about shaking ass.

Thank you. God bless. An international language, really.

Now you said it.

You're not going to tell me that I'm wrong when I say the music that doesn't have that particular problem, country music. You don't have any confusion about the lyrics in country music.

I don't have any connection points to Red Clay. I really don't.

You don't have any confusion about the lyrics in country music. There's no Mumblerap, although Now, those hippity hoppers are trying to get into country music. They are. They are. You've seen it.

Should be USA music.

Country music.

Successfully.

We have a Mike Lombardi video if you want to know why he uses a typewriter. I do. Straight from the horse's mouth.

I do very- He uses this for a new resume, pal. Let's see it. Because it forces me to slow down.

I have to think about what I want to write about, and the typewriter gives you that rhythm that you need to be able to slow your mind down and think.

You're going to make mistakes, right?

And on a computer, you can delete the mistake.

But sometimes the mistakes that you deleted have really powerful messages in them. And so when I first started to write my first book, I studied a lot of writers, and a lot of them were using typewriters. And I worked for a guy named Ernie O'Courcy in Cleveland, who was a former newspaperman, and he had a typewriter in his office. So I got used to using it, and it helps me slow down and think, which ultimately ultimately is what this job is all about, thinking.

There's a lot in this video I'd like to dissect.

I have only one observation because when you guys told me you had the video of him at the typewriter, I did not have him typing just with two fingers. I didn't.

Now you see. You got to be precise, Dan. You can't be typing all over the place. That's one of the observations. Video team, the second observation that I have from this, look at those beads on that wrist, Mike Lombardi. You're in it deep, pal. That midlife crisis This is a crisis in.

At 70? How old is he?

66.

Well, I mean, great and on the curve of understanding what's happening at North Carolina, that's good enough to get you someone in their mid-20s.

That letterhead that he's using, the North Carolina letterhead, this is to type tiny notes because that is- It's like a receipt.

That's it. Keep swimming on his-He's a big Dory fan.

Good.

Keep swimming, pal, because you and Bill are a drowning. And also, final observation, he named his own book, Gridiron genius? Yeah. What a dork.

I think that the wristband says keep swinging, not swimming. I like it better my way. Keep swinging. I think, well, yeah. That is the wristgear of somebody who swings, takes big swings.

That is also the wristgear of my dad, who is a career bachelor.

Your dad is also 70, right?

He's taking plenty of hacks over his life.

Your dad's a Lothario, I would say. Your dad is somebody who walks into a room and knows that ladies of all ages are interested in his hair and his scent, his cologne.

He's a side kisser, too. Yeah, I got a beautiful FaceTime from my dad today. I'm like, Dad, your face is so smooth. What's going on there? And I'm like, Well, you're going to have to start lying about my age now.

The typewriter, man. The bragging What about a typewriter is an interesting choice. The amount of arrogance. This is what we enjoy more than just about anything in public shaming, right?

Oh, I love this guy in particular being humbled because I have heard stories about this guy, and it's not like his public front-facing persona is all that great either. This guy thinks he's smarter than everybody when just like everyone else, including the head coach, whose record is worse in the pros without Tom braided than Dave Wonstats. And it's a a lot worse in college. Everyone thinks they're so smart when they got the goat under center.

It's not just that, though, because when Mike Lombardi says what he says, the number of flatulent, arrogant football people that I have heard, some in the name of Ernie O'Courcy as if it means something. The number of... And it does. It does mean something. It does. But using it as a patron saying, Let me sell you my book Let me hand you my book with these beads on my wrist, a gridiron grates that I wrote on a typewriter because I heard wise words from Ernie Accorsy 40 years ago.

Beads on a Man's Wrist at a Certain Age or like, Rings around a tree stump. But instead of years, it's how deep you are into your midlife crisis.

The thing that people enjoy in sports more than anything, though, it's one thing to be able to laugh at the arrogance of Bill Belichick, because at the very least, it's earned arrogant. It's when it's the unearned arrogance of Mike Lombardi and his typewriter. That's the thing we enjoy the most.

Goodness gracious.

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The original light beer since 1975. Five. That's right. And still hitting different five decades later. You're so good at this, Rose. I know. So whatever your game day looks like, remember, Miller Time is always a good-Time. Look at us. We're a great tag team. High five again. Can you do that beer sound one more time? And the horse sound one more time? I regret asking you about that one, but the Miller light sound is good. Miller light. Great taste. 96 calories. Go to millerlight. Com/janna. Find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller light pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller. Time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Sin. 96 calories and 3. 2 carbs per 12 ounce. Ouncess. No, ses. Ousess. Don Lebatard. Bob Kraft, the only reason your organization is good is because of Bill Belichick. Stugatz. Belichick has done nothing since since braided left. He made the playoffs once. I think at the very least, he should not be a first ballot Hall of Famer. They should make him wait like 10 years to get it. He's an overrated coach. This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugatz.

I need to stop Mike, though, when he uses the language of tarnished. You said it's not good. It's a good deal worse than that. I do not have anything close to precedent on what I've witnessed happen to Bill Belichick in all of five games. We could sit here and I can do these stats as an example. Andy Reid without Mahomes is 60 games over 500. He's got 13... This is without Mahomes. This is Andy Reid without Mahomes. Better to do it in this order than the order that Belichick did it in. Without Mahomes, Andy Reid, 60 games over 500, 13 playoff births, 8 division titles, 1 Super Bowl, 11 playoff wins, 8 top 10 offenses. One Super Bowl appearance. Yes. Thank you. Belichick, without braided, 20 games under 500, 2 playoff births, 0 division titles, 0 Super Bowl, 1 playoff win, 0 top 10 defenses. So I can give you those numbers, but none of those numbers stick to Belichick the way these five games stick to Belichick. You guys are doing legacy, and I don't know it hurts him that much. I can't believe how much it hurts him because I say these five games make it hard for him to get a pro job that he wants, one with power, because he had to interview twice in Atlanta and didn't get that job.

I think these five games unmask him. It's not just that you don't want Belichick, you You don't want the fool who's got the 20-year-old girlfriend wandering around your program. You can't give this power anymore. The only thing he gets is a media job or a coordinator job. I don't believe he's allowed to run a program anymore. Yeah, but in the grand scheme of things, he's still one of the greatest coaches of all time. This is just going to be a footnote. We never talk about how much of a failure nick Saban was in Miami between stops at college. He's still going to be remembered as one of the greatest coaches ever. But that's because he had massive success at Alabama after failing. There's no success for Bill Belichick after this. Here's why I do think Bill Belichick should get out now, because Bill Belichick, outside of the success, is also known for a certain mentality and the Patriot way and zero distractions. This has been a total circus. This right now just adds to the circus. We wonder, how could it feel more like a circus at North Carolina? In the middle of the week, you have reputable reporters saying you're trying to find your way out and you're going on vacation with your girlfriend and your school has to put out a statement saying the dreaded vote of confidence.

This is bad. Get out while you still can't. I'm not actually doing what Billy's doing. I think Billy is correct when he says, once we step back from the flavor or the scandal of the moment, the way history will remember Bill Belichick is as one of the greatest coaches ever. It's like Pete Carroll, too. I'm not disagreeing with that part. It's also the part that I find less interesting because we can argue all we want about people's legacies, and Conan O'Brien will stand over the grave of Calvin Coolidge and be like, When's the last time anyone talked about Calvin Coolidge? Yeah, Belichick will be one of the greatest coaches ever. I'm talking about the right now for Belichick and how it must be for one of the people who truly believes in himself to be one of the great coaches of all time, to embarrass himself so much that even before this, Atlanta was saying, Now we'll go, Raheem Morris. You'll need to interview two I have to stop you there because I also happen to know what happened with Atlanta a little bit. You're putting it too much on Atlanta. While they may have deduced that after the whole pursuit, a lot of what happened with Atlanta was Bill Belichick not wanting to follow through with it, thinking he could get a better situation because he didn't want to have to do the things necessary to become the Atlanta Falcons head coach.

Mike, my larger point is, one of the greatest football coaches ever is not welcome back in this world because he's made a fool of himself on and off the field for five games. It took five games. Whatever the details around Belichick in Atlanta, Belichick couldn't get any job that he wanted this offseason, so he settled for one in the minor league. Five games later, he's in a worse position than he was five games ago, because now who wants to bring any of that in? You tell me, Jerry Jones is willing to be so small and petty that he's actually appealing that $250,000 If Jerry Jones wanted Bill Belichick five games ago, you think he still wants him? Steven Ross. I'd take him, honestly. There's so many Dolphin fans. Kamer Rex, Ryan. That's what it does with Belichick. It can't get much worse. Two of us out here saying, I don't care if I throw touch downs or interceptions because I just have a happy family. Like, buddy, care. Lie Serum. I keep telling you guys, inject two of them with Lie Serum because he keeps saying all of the wrong things. I'm so happy that he has found happiness, and he's centered, and he has a stable of a life.

Don't tell me about it, okay? Don't tell me about how happy you are, because I'm not happy. I mean, I am happy. My family's great and all that stuff, but I'm not happy with this Dolphins team. Do we have the sound of to a having life perspective on he's on IR with a hip injury and something on his throwing hand? There's something wrong with his throwing hand. I don't know what the injury is. There are so many people, though, as we put a ribbon around this, that are around college football, that are college football lifers, because you have to be built a certain way right now to be about this college football life. I'd handicap it at like 80 % of the coaches and the people around college football desperately want to get to the pros because this shit is crazy. So Bill Belichick and his buddy Mike Lombardi think that they could... It is so hilarious. People are loving this. They thought that they could just stroll into the wild world of college football and dominate, and people kept receipts. That's right, Mike Lombardi. We all remember when you tweeted, not sure how Mario Cristobal faces his team today.

There There is coaching malpractice, and then there is coaching malpractice squared. This one will go down as an all-timer. You cannot cure this. I feel pretty cured down here in Coral Gables. Mike, where's your cure? Okay, two things. It's two on IR. Yeah, did you just break news that two is on IR? I'm sorry, I meant on the injured list, not the official on the injury list. My fault. If I said injured-reserved, I did not mean to say injured-reserved. Now, if that comes out in a couple of days, we know Dan was in the know and he wasn't supposed to say something. To know. Lord's time zone. Also, Bill Belichick is embarrassing him. He's not going to get a chance because of what's happening on the field, not off the field, if we're going to be honest. Bobby Patrino still got another chance after horrible off the field. They'll abide by embarrassing off the field behavior if you keep winning. When you get destroyed on the field, they're like, You know what? Maybe too far. It's still going on, though. That's a difference. Bobby Patrino had to get some separation from that and had to clean up his image somewhat and had to have success.

But This stuff is still... He's in Nantucket right now with Jordan. Okay, but if we're being honest, his embarrassing off-the-fields behavior is just he's dating someone substantially younger than him, but it's not like he's not committing crimes. It's not like adultery. It's just like people are uncomfortable with the age difference. It's not that. It's that she is totally taking over the public relations. She is fully embedded within that program. She's on the field. There were 52 You think Jerry Jones is going to be like, Yeah, come on over. Let's hang out. Just be in my box. There were 52 Getty Images from that game. 27 of them were all of Jordan. That says more about the photographers than it does about her. No, it says he could date who he wants to date and have them in the background. He's dated plenty in his life. We haven't really known about it outside of a weird costume that gets aggregated occasionally. This is different. It's strange. Things go through Bill Belichick's girlfriend. It's Maybe she knows ball. I mean, who are we to say that a woman can't know football? Honestly, this is us showing our asses, I think.

All right, stop with the asses and the ball. Let's just identify one thing that you're saying here and attack that. You mentioned Bobby Petrino. You're right that Bobby Petrino has been allowed to return to Arkansas as a coordinator, but he has not been allowed to do that while in a neck brace on a motorcycle with his affair on the back of the motorcycle while he's patrolling the sidelines or the sky box. It does matter that this whole thing now follows Belichick in a way that makes it awfully noisy around Belichick, what you're inviting beyond the football. You have to be willing in order to make a choice, like Bill Belichick, to be so desperate that you think Bill Belichick can actually fix you in a couple of days or weeks. And maybe that's a desperation that's possible. Joe Flacko is starting for the Bengals this weekend. So that desperation Can't exist. But when you refer to these two people, Belichick and Lombardi in their 70s, trying to be ahead of everyone else. I heard Katie Nolan yesterday on her serious radio show, Screaming. She was screaming at Mike Lombardi, who, apparently, according to Katie Nolan, still uses a typewriter and is proud of still using a typewriter.

Katie Nolan was screaming the phrase, Bring it into the modern age. I've never Where'd Katie Nolan this angry? At Mike Lombardi for embarrassing what Belichick used to be. Do you guys realize that in the history of sports royalty, you will have a hard time finding for me anyone who's been unmasked like this, this quickly. You're not going to find anyone who's been unmasked like this. But this quickly, that precipitous fall, okay, there are more details on the Falcon's job. Frank Kelly has been pretty bad. He's coaching at LSU, though. He's still acting like this guy. The Bill Belichick situation, all the cronies around him are perceived as jokes right now. But the pro game is different. That's why I think he should get out right now and just say, Look, I found out that college football is just not for me. My skillset works for the pro game, and he works over the next few months when the hiring cycle begins to try to clean up the perception around his relationship, understanding that Jordan is not going to be handling public relations when we to the NFL. He can work on that. He needs to get out now because only more stories are going to come out.

It's only going to seem more like a circus, and it's not like he's going to add success to his name. It's not like he's going to show proof of concept. The numbers that we're looking at so far, you realize that part of the problem here is being embedded in that program in the huddle. There's no way that he is blind to, We've lost by a combined score of 120 to 33. That's not going to get fixed in the next couple of months. There's no amount of scheming that he can do when he gets into the tough part of his schedule that's going to undo with these players the fact that he's going to get his ass kicked that way the rest of the season. And given what he comes from, given the amount of success he's had over the 20 years, it's going to be really great to see one of the great people in sports who demanded accountability of others quit because he has to. Just be like, and it's not even his physical body. He demanded that out of the variables of the world. Their physical bodies, give it over to what it is that we're doing.

Five games, and he's already looking for an exit ramp is the most human thing in the world, but it's not the most football coach warrior thing in the world. He was looking for an exit ramp before there was a game played. He was looking for ways out after he signed, I promise you this, I happen to know. Yeah, but the media game that he was playing five games ago is he would have gotten a very good job as soon as Jerry Jones got tired of Schotenheimer, if he just spent the entire time talking about the sport instead of letting us watch, Oh, wait, it's not that you've got some advantage over these people. You've been left behind. Name a funnier person for this to happen to. It's unbelievable. For an offfield circus to derail a sterling career. He seems happy to me. I got to be honest with you. It seems like the happiest he's been in a long time. He looked like a grump when he was there in New England, and now here. The pictures we see of him, it's like these are massive distractions, but he seems like a happy guy. Because he doesn't care about coaching at North Carolina.

That's why. What happened to honoring his father, by the way? Do you guys remember that? I was like, I'm coming here because my dad used to coach here. I'm wearing my dad's sweater, and it was a whole thing. I was like, I don't have dad to be so proud of this, buddy. You can't go off of IG. We've seen plenty of couples that look happy on the IG and that aren't happy in real life. Don Libetard. Football. Football. Bill Belichick, I think, likes costumes as much as you, Dan. We would hear about how much he loved the Halloween parties that Randy Moss would tell us, and that he'd show up dressed like a full pirate. Now we see him, like Gorman the Fisherman or whatever, on the side catching his Mermade Girlfriend. This guy likes to party. I, again, do not like costumes. Come on. My young bride likes costumes. It's the same situation over in Belichick's house. Great job distancing yourself from what's going on with Belichick. Let me see if I can find this here. I haven't played it in a while. Let's see here. I'm going to look for it. My eyesight is bad because the old dog is getting old.

Did you guys remove my... Oh, here it is. You don't get the show. You have glasses. Yeah, but they're over here. Oh, okay. They're over there. Thank you, Ron. You call your glasses cheaters yet? That's starting to happen to me, by the way. I looked at the phone a little bit too much. What's the score of that baseball game? And also my back started hurting for zero reason. You're 40. It's not zero reason. It's because happy birthday to you. These are the kinds of things that happen once you start entering this particular decade. It happened to me, man. It's bad. Katie Nolan screaming on the radio because she was screaming, Get into the Modern Age. Can you please Can you explain to me why Mike Lombardi is still using a typewriter, the benefits of that? Why is he pridefully telling people that he's still using a typewriter? Could any of you put this on the poll as well, Juju, at Lebitard Show? Right now, if I gave you two hours, could you go get a typewriter, yes or no? Could you go physically get a typewriter and find one in the next two hours? I believe his explanation was, and I'll look it up just to confirm, was something along the lines of, if he uses a computer, he can very easily just erase and start over and make...

He can make mistakes and it doesn't make a difference because it can autocorrect. Where a typewriter, he has to be more honed in to what he's doing so he makes fewer mistakes. It's a dork is what it is, Dan. Okay, you guys go with dork. I'm just really looking-It's the same guy that's like, Oh, I like records because they sound better. It's like, Okay, buddy, I've got 9,000 songs. All right, you're picking a bad fight here. You're going to lose this. I've got records. Yeah, I know. They sound great on my thing from 1967. It doesn't sound better. Vinyl doesn't sound better. It doesn't. It sounds scratchy. That's the whole point. It doesn't sound better. It's a needle hitting a cylinder. It's the experience. It's the connection. As we get more and more digital, you have something physical, you have something tangible. It smells a certain way. That's what people like about vinyl. The scratchiness of the vinyl, that's part of the sonic experience there, but it doesn't sound better. Anybody who says that is full of shit. Put it on the poll, please. At Levitard Show, does the record player make the music sound better?

You're going to lose on public opinion. You guys actually be right factually. I have records, Dan. I have records. I got a bunch of records. You may be right factually, but you don't think that poll is going to come back agreeing with you and Mike, do you? That poll for sure is going to come back with everyone saying that music does indeed sound better on a record player. It's impossible. I'm the biggest Jack White fan there is. He is largely responsible for the resurgence in vinyl, and Taylor Swift is, too, but he's so full of shit when it comes to that stuff. He also tried to lie and tell us They didn't have a cell phone until last year. Come on. It is a weird thing where people try to say, It sounds crisper on vinyl. No, it doesn't. It might be the only technology in the history of mankind that peaked 50 years ago, and we've gone downhill with more technology somehow. You ever listened to a song that you loved on headphones and you're like, Wow, I didn't catch that part. Radiohead. What a wonder. Put it on the poll, please, @LebitardShow as well, because I've got a handful of questions here.

Getty took 57 photos of the Clemson-UNC game, and 23 of them were of Jordan Hudson. How many of them were Steve Martin? You gave those numbers? Yes. You gave the actual numbers? I did. I wasn't listening. I guess the remaining couple of Steve Martin pictures. He didn't have his cheaters on. All right, hold on a second. Let me do this here. Let me see. This is all... Got the glasses on. Minor penalty, two minutes for a shit contribution. I mean, he's right. Well, this will allow us talk about Bad Bunny in the Super Bowl. I know. This is not going to go the way that Dan was. Wait for two weeks, Mike. There was a take that was talked about back here in the back row when it came to the Super Bowl that I think is not yet... It hasn't yet been explored by the mainstream media as it's become a culture war, unfairly so. Bad Bunny in his SNL monolog said, You've got four months to learn Spanish. Billy mentioned something to me off there that I don't think people are really considering about this. I saw a tweet that was very one-sided, and you could guess which side of the aisle was on, where it was saying, I speak Spanish.

I still don't know what the hell Bad Bunny is saying. I don't know what he's saying at all. Look, they also said Bad Bunny's music is bad, which I don't agree with that. Categorically false. I like Bad Bunny's music. However, a little bit of a mumbler, if we're going to be honest sometimes. For sure. Which is like, that's a style that's fine. It's still good music. But there are sometimes it's a little confusing as to what-I've seen people on TikTok who are like, I'm Puerto Rican, and I don't know what he's saying. It's Okay, that makes sense. It's like Burek. It's like Sigurro. It's just an invented language. Exactly right.. It's the vibes. I don't know what you're saying. It's the vibes. You don't have to worry about what he's saying. Just pick up the vibes. It's a beachy vibe. It's this vibe. It's that vibe. Let's just hang out. Let's listen to Bad Bunny. It's just a good beat. We'll shake our hips. We're vibing. Remember, Gangam style? I didn't know what the hell Si was saying. No one did. Yeah, people were singing it. What does Gangam style even mean? I don't know.

People liked it. It was fun. The style of Gangam. Have you seen him get shot out of that tube thing. Yeah, that's crazy. I love that video. What if he moves slightly to one side and he hits his shoulder on the bottom of the stage? Yeah, that'd be bad. He gets shot up like 20 feet in the air. He flew. Just look at the recent people that have performed at halftime. I don't know what Rihanna is saying either. The large complaint from the last halftime show was, I don't know what he's saying. I can't understand. That's every Super Bowl halftime. I was singing the wrong lyrics to Phil Collins songs for 40 frigging years. It's part of our relationship with music. If they would have brought Metallica or some other band that other people like, I don't know what the hell they're saying anyway. You think you can understand half of what James Hetfield is saying? You need to understand what the lyrics are. I need to close captioning to see what he's saying. Most of the songs are about shaking ass. Thank you. God bless. An international language, really. Now you said it. You're not going to tell me that I'm wrong when I say the music that doesn't have that particular problem?

Country music. You don't have any confusion about the lyrics in country music. I don't have any connection points to Red Clay. I really don't. You don't have any confusion. All these songs about Red Clay. You don't have any confusion about the lyrics in country music. There's no Mumblerap, although now, those hippity hoppers are trying to get into country music. They are. They are. You've seen it. Should be USA music. Country music. Successful, man. We have a Mike Lampardi video if you want to know why he uses typewriter. I do. Straight from the horse's mouth. I do very-He uses this for a new resume, pal. Let's see it. Because it forces me to slow down. I have to think about what I want to write about, and the typewriter gives you that rhythm that you need to be able to slow your mind down and think. You're going to make mistakes, right? And on a computer, you can delete the mistake. But sometimes the mistakes that you deleted have really powerful messages in them. And so when I first started to write my first book, I studied a lot of writers, and a lot of them were using typewriters.

I worked for a guy named Ernie O'Courcy in Cleveland who was a former newspaper man, and he had a typewriter in his office. I got used to using it, and it helps me slow down and think, which ultimately is what this job is all about, thinking. There's a lot in this video I'd like to dissect. I have only one observation because when you guys told me you had the video of him at the typewriter, I did not have him typing just with two fingers. I didn't. Now you see. Peter Jennings over here. You got to be precise, Dan. You can't be typing all over the place. That's one of the observations. Video team, the second observation that I have from this. Look at those beads on that wrist, Mike Lombardi. You're in it deep, pal. That midlife crisis is a crisis-in. At 70? How old is he? Sixty-six. Well, I mean, grading on the curve of understanding what's happening at North Carolina, that's good enough to get you someone in their mid 20s. That letterhead that he's using, the North Carolina letterhead. This is to type tiny notes because that is- It looks like a receipt.

That say, Keep swimming. He's a big Dory fan. Good. Keep swimming, pal, because you and Bill are a drowning. And also, final observation, he named his own book, Gridiron genius? Yeah. What a dork. I think that the wristband says, Keep swinging, not swimming. I like it better my way. Keep swinging. I think, well, yeah. Yeah. That is the wrist gear of somebody who swings, takes big swings. That is also the wrist gear of my dad, who is a career bachelor. Your dad is also 70, right? He's taking plenty of hacks over his life. Your dad's a lethario, I would say. Your dad is somebody who walks into a room and knows that ladies of all ages are interested in his hair and his scent, his cologne. He's a side kisser, too. Yeah, I got a beautiful FaceTime from my dad today. I'm like, Dad, your face is so smooth. What's going on there? And I'm like, Well, you're going to have to start lying about my age now. The typewriter, man. The bragging about a typewriter is an interesting choice. The amount of arrogance. This is what we enjoy more than just about anything in public shaming, right?

Oh, I love this guy in particular being humbled because I have heard stories about this guy, and it's not like his public front-facing persona is all that great either. This guy thinks he's smarter than everybody when just like everyone else, including the head coach, whose record is worse in the pros without Tom braided than Dave Wonstats, and it's a hell of a lot worse in college. Everyone thinks they're so smart when they got the goat under center. It's not just that, though, because when Mike Lombardi says what he says, the number of flatulent, arrogant football people that I have heard, Some in the name of Ernie O'Corsy as if it means something. The number of... And it does. It does mean something. It does. But using it as a patron saint for, Let me sell you my book here. Let me hand you my book with these beads on my wrist, a gridiron grates that I wrote on a typewriter because I heard wise words from Ernie O'Corsy 40 years ago. Beads on a man's wrist at a certain age or like rings around a tree stump. That's how But instead of years, it's how deep you are into your midlife crisis.

The thing that people enjoy in sports more than anything, though, it's one thing to be able to laugh at the arrogance of Bill Belichick, because at the very least, it's earned arrogance. It's when it's the unearned arrogance of Mike Lombardi and his typewriter. That's the thing we enjoy the most. Goodness gracious. Hey, audience, I got a special treat for you because I want to talk to you about Miller and Light, I want to talk to you about Miller Lite with my good friend Rose. Hey, Rose. Hi, everybody. When we hang out, and we hang out often, we're friends. I consider us friends. Yeah, me too. We're often toasting the good times. And what am I toasting with? With Miller Lite. That's right, Miller Lite. Whether you're hanging out with your dear friend Rose or at the game day, it just hits different when you got a Miller Lite in your hand. From jaw-dropping touch downs to fantasy heartbreak, it's a beer that has been there for every moment. Fifty years of great taste, simple ingredients, and that iconic golden color that you can spot across the room. And it's just not the color of the beer.

Which is brilliant. That beautiful white can. How beautiful is that? Is that you doing the sound of a can opening? Is that your favorite sound? Oh, no. It is a horsey. A horsey? All right, we'll stop doing that. And here's a kicker. Miller Light is just 96 calories, 3. 2 carbs per 12 ounces. The original light beer since 1975. Five. That's right. And still hitting different five decades later. You're so good at this, Rose. I know. So whatever your game day looks like, remember, Miller Time is always a good-Time. Look at us. We're a great tag team. I you can pick up some Miller light pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller. Time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Sean. 96 calories and 3. 2 carbs per 12 ounce. Ouncess. No, it ses. Ouncess.