Transcript of Super Bowl Awards: The Nuclear Fallout, Sam Darnold’s Heroics, and Bad Bunny Beef with Dan Hanzus & Geoff Schwartz

Yes, hi, and hello, my fellow football Americans. Welcome to Super Bowl 60 Week. Welcome to Football America. We're presented, as always, by our pals over there at DraftKings. Draftkings, the Crown is yours. Who will the NFL Crown belong to? We won't know until Sunday night. In the meantime, This is episode 48. Who wore the jersey number 48 best? Really, this might be our saddest collection of names ever, Fuentes, boys. I'm going to let you get into that in one second. But episode 48, instead of naming a jersey number, how about this? 48, as in Super Bowl 48, the one in which the Seahawks won their first and only Lombardi, not to be confused with Super Bowl 49, the last and only time the Seahawks and Patriots met in a Super Bowl. 49 was played in Arizona, 60 will be played in the home of the 49ers. How about that? That's fun, right? Maybe I'm the only one who cares about that. We have Dan Hansus from Heed to Call coming up. We have our pal Jeff Schwartz coming up. He's going to tell us who's going to win Super Bowl 60. And by how much, in the meantime, Fuentes, boys.

I'm sorry, it's an uninspiring list of names. 48.

I got nothing, man. I got Tori Hunter in baseball. That's the one that comes to mind. Mike, what do you got there? Bud Dupri, one of your guys there, plays for the Titans now. That's the best ever.

I mean, Steven Davis did it, right? Steven Davis did it. That's right. Steven Davis did it. But I forgot. Washington Yeah, it seems to be a lot of baseball guys.

You got Joe Nekro. You got- Knuckleballers. Yeah, Pablo Sandoval, the Panda. Who else we got here? I saw Eric Ganier. That's good. Jacob DeGrom. Jacob deGrom. Decent. Decent. Okay, that's good. Yeah, and then number one, Tori Hunter.

Tori Hunter once told me on my old radio show, he broke the news that not only had he signed with the Halos, but he signed in a McDonald's. He met the GM for some reason in McDonald's, and that's where he signed his multimillion dollar deal, which seems weird. So we have a lot of... I mean, the list of Super Bowl props is plentiful and ridiculous and very funny. So we'll dig through those as we press forward here and talk some Super Bowl 60 here. By the way, I should mention one. We appreciate and encourage you to subscribe on YouTube to Football America. Find the Football America page there and or wherever you find your audio podcast. We appreciate that. Drop us a line in the comment section on YouTube. It's an interactive conversation, don't you know? And I should also let you know, based on Super Bowl week scheduling, this is the last thing I do before I depart for San Francisco. I'll be at Media Night, whatever call it opening night to talk to Drake May and Sam Darnold and some other members of those two teams. And I'll ask them some fun questions, I think, to determine, to gain some insight for you and for myself about how Super Bowl 60 is going to go.

Also, because I'm a great empath, I'm not merely going to be talking about those two teams. There are 30 other teams out there. We want to honor them all. That's why the Fuentes boys have... Maybe I'm rubbing off on them. They want to honor some of those teams, some of those players. Jon Hamm will honor a lot of them at NFL honors. In the meantime, take it away, Fuentes, boys. You want to do an award show, right?

That's right, Dave. Football Americas winding down for the season. And as you know, we gave out some midseason awards not too long ago, back when life was good, about, what was it, eight weeks ago, maybe a little more, 10. And now, since we're coming to a close, we have some totally legit awards that we did not make up, just completely legitimate stuff here. And I'm going to start with the big Letdown Award. The player that let us down.

This will be a nice honorific.

I like it. Yeah. For me, personally, the only nominee and winner of this award goes to one Ashton Genti, the poor running back coming out of Boise State. Now, got to say- As a rookie, he let you down? As a rookie, because when you're the top five draft pick, we expect things. Now, that's not his fault. That's our fault for expecting things, especially for expecting things from the Raiders, which we knew were going to be terrible. I mean, come on, Gino Smith, are you kidding me? Because of that, Ashton Genti, the big letdown award this year from Football America.

I like that. Can I throw out another one, though? Get me one, Dave. If we're talking about rookie guys, what about Travis Hunter? If I would have told you that the Jacksonville Jaguars would win the division and be a factor until they weren't, as one would have expected, come playoff time. But a lot of people were picking them three, four weeks ago to make a deep playoff run. If I would have told you that was going to happen, but Travis Hunter would have no impact on the Jags, you wouldn't have believed it. So I think that he's... I mean, by the way, for whatever else the Cleveland Browns have done to themselves on purpose, they traded away the opportunity to get Travis Hunter. That doesn't look terrible, at least at this point, because Travis Hunter didn't do anything down in Duval County.

But rookie season cuts short by injury, so I feel bad putting it on him. I got another one on the same team. Yeah. Give me. Brian Thomas Jr. Brian Thomas Jr. I'm going to tell you something about Brian Thomas Jr. Okay? Never drafting that guy early again.

There should be the opposite of this award, too. There is the guy who exceeded expectations. Well, I'll tell you- On the same day.

Dave, I'm happy you said that because my next award is the Fall Out Award. Not brought to you by Amazon, but hey, we're available. And these are players that went nuclear. And I got to admit, when I saw D. K.

Metcalf- What are you, George W. Bush nuclear?

Yeah, nuclear. The nuclear option is always there, by the way, the doomsday clock. So when D. K. Metcalf was moved off to your Pittsburgh Stealers, I thought, Can J. Ksn carry the load? Man, do I feel like an idiot? He did that and more. Great season from the guy whose name I'm not scared to say Jackson Smith and Jigba. Not scared to say it. Great season for the Seattle number one. I hope that he ends up with a Lombardi and a ring at the end of the season. Can I get in there?

Jigba, you're right. That is a scary one to say. Maybe even worse than the people, as I've said before, Quique Hernández. Thank goodness for that accent mark over the ear or otherwise. This would be a real nightmare for him and for any broadcaster out there. I got one for you.

The Life Comes Out You Fast Award.

That one's going to go to- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Before you move on, another candidate, because you've reminded me with D. K. Metcalf, the other guy is George Pickens. Nobody in Pittsburgh. People thought, Oh, George Pickens will be in the clink. Who knows what will happen. It goes on and has one of the three or four best pass catching seasons of anybody in pro football this past year. And now the Cowboys, apparently, are looking into a long term deal George Pickens. Who could have seen that coming? Besides Dave Damosheck, of course. Go ahead, Gina.

The Life Comes Out You Fast Award. You may have remembered last year, the Detroit Lions, 15 and 2. They were on top of the world, and then they slip up in the NFC in the NFC playoffs, and they come back with everybody healthy, and you think, Oh, they'll be back, right? No, they went from first to worst in their own division. Nine and eight didn't make the playoffs. Life comes at you fast.

I like this. We're off and running now. Here's the first prop for you, and then we'll start calling up our pals here to get more insight. Total drop passes by both teams over under two and a half? How say you, Mike Fuentes?

I know. I want to go way over here. It's a weird game for the receiver. Do you really trust anybody on the New England side of the ball? I know some of them guys have probably overperformed a little bit, but you really trust a Keeshaa Boody, McHollins, to make all the catches they need to make. I mean, there might be three drops just on the Patriots, especially if they find themselves down and throwing a lot at the end of the game.

Gino, who will the MVP of the game thank first in is speech. Team owner, the coaches are 50 to one. Family is 33 to one. The city/fans are 20 to one. Team/teammates plus 160.

All second place. Come on, get to it.

God. God. Religion. It might not... Maybe it won't be Jesus. It could be Buddha. You don't know. That's true.

All the glory to God. Oh, I got to find that.

All right. You know what? This maybe is the granddaddy of all ridiculous propets. Gatorade color poured on the coach. Mike Fuentes. Give me a color.

What's purple going off at?

You've got purple, blue, clear, red or pink, yellow, green, and lime are all together, that doesn't seem fair. And orange.

Orange by itself? Yeah. Give me the purple. I'll take the field.

Okay. 3 to 1 for that one. The best flavor, by the way, I'm looking past everything. Orange is the best Gatorade flavor. We can agree on that, right?

I'm a fruit punch guy. I like the orange, too. Oh, really? Wow.

Fruit punch, as a general rule, is one of the worst candy flavors, artificial flavors that exists out there. I mean, it's not a good flavor. Now, it's not as bad as lime or banana, but it ain't good either. All right. Important conversation, and we'll continue to get to it and these awards. Let's get to it, though. Our first visitor for Super Bowl 60 Week, our old pal from Heed the Call, Dan Hansers.

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All right. How could we let football season by without talking to this fellow one last time, one of our favorite guys to Yapp about football and the game of life with. He is the host of Heed the Call, one of the heroes all season long for another season for you. And into the off-season, too, it's our pal Dan Hansus. What's happening, fella? Hair looks great.

Hi, Dave. I just got a haircut. That was for you. I appreciate you having me on your program.

Happy 6: 0, fella.

The years fly by, Dave. They fly by.

You were at 49, right? Me?

No. Now you've hurt my feelings. I'm 45 years old.

No, I said you were at 49, as in Super Bowl 49.

Oh, we're doing that. Yes, I was at 49. That was a great moment, almost, for Jets fans to watch the Patriots perish there and then for it to go the other direction. Not so great. Yeah, I do remember that game, though, vividly.

As you know, Dan, maybe society's greatest empath. And so my heart goes out to the man in the mirror, too. After all, my team is lost at sea or in purgatory or whatever else people keep saying about them. There are two teams in the Super Bowl, and all the 30 other teams are at home watching. And I'm wondering if you have any counsel, if you have any thoughts about the state of your Jets right now, and if there's a routing interest that Jets fans should follow, that Sam Darnold on one side, obviously the hated Patriots on the other. How say you?

Well, I would say that Jets fans will always root against the Patriots, as many people in America will. Dave, a week from Sunday. I'll also say that you'll be hard-pressed to find Jets fans rooting against Sam Darnold. Sam Darnold was a guy that everyone, and it's a maniacal fan base, Jets fans, and we're going through a lot right now. But But the one thing that you're not going to find is a ton of Jets fans that are bitter towards Darnold finding success now because everyone that actually paid attention to his time with the Jets knows almost everything that happened was not his fault. And some of us, myself included, did not want him to go when he went, when they had decided in all their intellectual glory that Zack Wilson was the man to move forward with and to trade Sam Darnold to the Panthers way back then. So there was faulty logic all around Darnold from the very top. The only thing they got right was taking him number three overall. Well, they didn't even get that right, Dave, because they could have taken Josh Allen. But Darnold would have been a really, really strong piece of a foundation for the Jets, and they botched it.

So I'm happy for Darnold. I've been rooting for Darnold. I've been pounding the table for years before he came of age as a player with the Vikings, that he could be a player. And I got a lot of pushback until it finally paid off. So I guess there's a little bit of like, yeah, happy to be proven right on this, but also it's bittersweet. Of course it is.

That being said, and that you predicted all of this to happen, and there were a lot of questions about Sam Darnold understandably going into the game against the Rams, the people who... I'm sorry for being a broken record about this, but the the postseason QB wins deniers. I have to look at that. I mean, this is now it, the personification of it. Everybody thought one way of Sam Darnold before that game, and now look at how differently people regard him today, right? I mean, it's as simple as that. He wins in a big spot. Now, Sam Darnold has that stink off of him.

I think it's fascinating And I think a lot of us try not to get too plugged in on Super Bowl conversations during this week. Next week, it's unavoidable, so you dive into it. But it would have been absolutely nauseating next week for so much of the Darnal dialog to be, Well, they won, but they won. He was along for the ride, and he's choked in big spots. That was in terms of changing the entire conversation around a player, one of the great turnarounds, 180s in the history of pro football, because not only did Darnold show that he could step up in a big spot in the playoff as he did against the Rams, he saved their ass. They were done. Their defense did not step up against the Rams. They McVay had figured them out. They were putting up points upon points upon points. Their running game, Seattle's running game, couldn't quite get going with Charbonneau out. And Darnold bailed their ass out with a JSN. And so no one's going to be talking about that now next week. And if they are, they're just not paying attention. So you might see like Stephen A.

Smith or someone like that say that Darnold might not be able to be trusted here. But the people that actually watch football will say otherwise.

I don't know if this will make Jets fans feel any better. I suspect it will. One, we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Bill Belichick is rooting against the Patriots, which has to be, like I say, satisfying. But also Tom braided can't be rooting for the Patriots either here.

Yeah, I would imagine he's not. I also think the Patriots are a little bit, if you're asking from the Jets fan perspective, a lot of the hate about the Patriots was that era of Patriots football, which is braided and Belichick. And this team is much less hateable, this Patriots team. The fan base, Patriots fans, still pretty hateable.

Hearing Scott Zolak-I can confirm, yes. Yes.

Hearing Scott Zolak, who on our show I call the sentient Powerade bottle, Jodel into a microphone after Drake May first downs and touch downs. Yes, still very hateable. The team itself and the head coach, different. It's different than the old days. So it's more just like, New England sports fans don't deserve another title here. That's where it is now. It used to be like they were a perfect team to hate because it was the coach, it was the pretty boy quarterback, it was the cheating scandals, it was the constant winning. This feels very different, but at the same time, you don't want You don't want anybody on the podium. You don't want Robert Kraft on the podium again. We don't need that again on Super Bowl Sunday night.

I mean, that's what you have to enjoy from the sidelines. If you're a fan of any other team and you've disliked the Patriots because they've hurt your feelings and otherwise over the years, that Bob Kraft and Tom braided are now leading the charge for Bill Belichick. It's so phony when they're the reason that he is in UNC and got lost. Bob Kraft fired him and then went about campaigning for himself over Bill Belichick as some key factor in the dynasty and all of that. It's very funny to watch from a distance. Here's a question for you.

Can we... Real quick, Jack, I don't want to fall into that. The Belichick Hall of Fame debate too much. But if we did want to have fun with it, it's clear that, to use the godfather analogy, Paulian is a pimp. It was Kraft all along, right? If we're going to buy into that, right? That's what happened here. He doesn't want to be at Canton with Belichick.

Obviously, he pulled strength. I think we should talk about it when you come up with an analogy like that. Now you're singing my song. Speaking of songs, I'm a square old man. I fancy myself as somebody who, or at least used to be plugged in to music. I have discovered Geese, and then I noticed on social media that this is your band, huh?

Yeah, they're a fun band to like because 80% of your friends hate them. And then you show your wife their SNL performance, and she just reacts as like, This is just noise. And it makes me feel even like... It's like the last vestige of as a guy in my mid-forties has now has been established based on our miscommunication at the top of the conversation, being able to still connect with new music and really enjoy it, there's a little extra there for me, too, as well, Dave. As a man, I look at you as a much older brother. I think you should dig into the a much older brother. Dig into the geese of it all as well. Let's go together.

Look at this beautiful head of hair. You call me much older than you. Shame on you. A dozen years from now, what is the collective wisdom on this? Better quarterback class, 2018 or 2024?

Okay. I mean, 2018 is pretty damn good. I'm going to say right now, that's where I would go. It is pretty remarkable that Darnold beats some of the future Hall of Famers around him on the list. But I guess if you want to go, does 2024 have the depth that 2018 does? What do we have for 24?

It definitely does. You have Jaden Daniels, who goes to the title game in his rookie season. Then you have, obviously, May and Nix and Caleb. We'll see what happens with JJ McCarthy, but I don't throw dirt on him like a lot of people have.

That's a good Mount Rushmore for that class, though, for sure.

Well, the difference is The difference right now, at least, is, and we'll see what happens with Pennex coming back from injury, and there are plenty of doubters for JJ McCarthy. But the rarity here is even with the Ot 4, it's not a trio. It's four of them. J. P. Lassmann also counts in the odd four first round. So Rathesberger, Eli, and Rivers, I bet there aren't any bums quite yet from the 2024 class, unless we're going to say that about McCarthy.

Yeah. And then the Mount Rushmore of 18, obviously, is Baker, Darnold, Alan Lamar. Am I missing a fifth?

Yeah, but then you also have to wear Josh Rosen.

You wear it. Yeah, well, he's the JJ McCarthy. Yeah.

Which Bay Area landmark will be shown first day? And the Golden Gate Bridge minus 500 or Alcatraz plus 300.

Oh, wow. You got to go the Bridge. You got to go the Bridge. It's a close one. How many... All right, how about plus... Will you set the odds for the first pregame show to show the fish market in Seattle as well? How likely is that going to happen within the first hour of the pregame show?

I don't see that as an available prop here, Dan, but here's another one for you. Will the broadcast show the Patriot's Male Cheerleader?

Interesting. That's a great question. What network is it on again?

It's on NBC, right?

Okay. I'd say no if it was Fox. I'll say yes because it's NBC.

Okay. Then I think this is a yes for you, too. Will there be a sign that says gay for May shown?

Not intentionally, but it's so prevalent among these meathead Patriots fans. I'm coaching Little League with a dad who named the chat for the coaches as we're getting the season up and running gay for me. So I'm going to say yes, it's just going to be... Because it's so hilarious that I imagine many, many Patriots fans will bring that sign. So yes, it will show.

Will pass interference or ruffing the passer be called in the final two minutes of the game?

No, the flags will be in the pocket. In the Super Bowl, they're better about that than in these, for whatever reason, than in the title and divisional round game.

The big one in the pregame stuff is the length of the national anthem over and under 125 seconds.

Who's doing it this year?

I don't know. It's a good question. See, I got to come off prepared. Oh, we got to know that. You're absolutely right. All right, Fuentes, boys, give Hansus another award.

Okay, this one's actually really relevant to the show we've been talking about today. It's called The Hindsight is 2020 Award, celebrating a decision that, well, it seemed like a good idea at the time. And that goes to the Minnesota Vikings, who let Sam Darnal go after a 35 shutdown season, went with JJ McCarthy, and then, well, it didn't turn out so well.

Yeah.

And now the GM got got.

Yeah, exactly.

I was about to mention that.

I feel like this would be mean-spirited to say this about your Jets. I want to do an award real quick.

All right, here we go.

The team, as we sit here in front of Super Super Bowl 60, furthest away from reaching the next Super Bowl? Jets? Dolphins? That's the Cleveland Browns. Who else would it be? How great was their hiring for their coach hiring process? The Browns are still the Browns. You got to feel better.

I got to say, some of the spin zone reporting of Todd Malkin's first meeting with Shador Sanders as if it was a positive sign. I'm like, Is everyone okay? Is everyone on drugs right now?

Hey, that's Pro Bowl quarterback Shador Sanders to you, my friend.

That's fair. But you're saying so the head coach that Jimmy Haslem, maybe the worst owner in the history of the league, forced upon us. Now we're going to talk ourselves into it as being a good hire and Shador Sanders being a guy that they have any type of future together. Are we serious? Pro Bowl. The circus is in town.

Oh, my goodness. No, I just I treasure that. I really do. People think, It's the best that they're not only in the league, but they're in my division. I can only get so down. I mean, all right, they're thinking about bringing back a 43-year-old man who the last time we saw him was afraid of a pass rush. And I have it on good authority. Some of my sources are saying that some NFL teams in 2026 intend to bring back a pass rush. So that's bad for the Steelers. But at least the Browns exist. One last one for you, Dan, because I think it's Super Sunday. Will any Celtics player wear a Patriots jersey to the Celtics game against the Knickerbackers?

Okay, that's an interesting one. I'll say yes because that guarantees to probably get you on SportsCenter or something. So someone will take that path. I don't know if any of them actually are following or rooting for the Patriots, but I'll go with yes on that one. That's a good one.

Okay, one more because it is my favorite Super Bowl bet to make. Will there be a safety? It's the biggest game in society. Let's see the most exotic referee symbol, the safety.

Yes. Well, I remember the last Seahawks Super Bowl win. Twelve to one.

Twelve to 1, Dan. It's the best. It's super fun to bet.

Well, as someone who believes Seattle is going to have a very good Sunday and things could get awkward for the Patriots, yeah, but I'm going to call it. It's going to be on a holding in the end zone. It's not going to be tackled in the end zone or a sack or anything like that.

Dan, we appreciate you having me on Heed to call a number of times during the season as we get this show up off the air for this season. You really helped us along that way. We appreciate it. Enjoy 60. Let's kibbitz on the other side of it. We can still talk just because football season's, though. I think we should.

I think it's a good idea.

We'll listen to Geese. It'll be a great time.

It's time. It's time. Let's dig in together. Thank you, Dob.

I'm showing up at one of your Little League games. What's your managerial style?

I do assistant coaching. I don't like to go full manager because that's too much.

Third base coaches? What does that equal?

I'll wave them in every time. You got to play aggressive third base coach in the Little League end of things, for sure.

That's a fun coach. Yeah, of course. Let them run. Yeah, let the Mustang-It was the old Red Sox third base coach when I was in college in Boston.

They called him Wave 'Em In, Kim. That's me.

So what's your favorite signal? Are you like a hat on the bill guy? Do you do one of these deals?

I like I as the indicator.

Okay, I like that. Yeah, for a kid, you keep it simple, right? Yeah, you got to keep it simple. You're like this for when you want them to steal. You do the really obvious thing.

You can do that, and you'll probably be fine because most catchers are unable to throw out a base runner anyway at second base. So you can do that because most of the time, you can make it as simple as you want. 50% of the kids have no idea to even look over at you no matter how many times you tell All right, here he is, everybody.

How could we possibly do a show in Super Bowl week without having our guy who's joined us just about every week of this football season? And we've been made better for his presence. And I hope you a little bit smarter. It's our guy Jeff Schwartz is smarter than you. And when he says you, I think he's talking about me. Either way, it's Jeff Schwartz. What's the poop, fella? Happy Super Bowl '60 week.

It's almost your Super Bowl. You get to go and ask ask if this is the biggest game of everyone's life. So I'm looking forward to seeing if you run that bit back this week.

That's not when I'm going to ask everybody if it's the biggest week of their life. That's not exactly how it's going to go.

Must win game. Sorry, must win. That's what it is. Must win game.

Spoiler alert. Please don't tip my hand here, Schwartz. Just to get you up to speed here, Schwartz, De Fuentes boys, neither of whom... Like, behind the scenes, they don't praise you the way I do. But either way, that's neither here nor there. I don't know why I mentioned that. That was ugly. Let's move on. They're giving out awards that other people are not going to be giving out awards for at NFL honors. Jon Hamm is hosting those, of course, later in the week. So if you want to throw out, Hey, you know what? I'm going to ask you to give out this award right out of the gate here. Nfl season, 2025. Jeff Schwartz, one of the very small handful of people who talks about football for a living, who actually understands offensive line not the other Hammoneggers out there who pretend to. What was the best offensive line in the NFL 2025?

Oh, man. The best offensive line in the NFL this season was probably the Denver Broncos.

Wow. Really? I did not anticipate that answer. Okay, congratulations to them.

The problem is the running the situation was really bad. It derailed the run game, but it's It's good off it's line.

Boy, it must be a really... I mean, they're running backs collectively, although it felt like... I suppose J. K. Dobbins is the guy who would have made that, would have been the straw to stir that drink had he been all right. Nevertheless, I'm a little surprised by that answer. And then what would be the worst offensive line? Oh, jeez.

I mean, too many to count. I mean, it's got to be the Chargers or the Raiders I mean, the Chargers, it's not their fault. Part of the Raiders, it is their fault. That's who they win the season with. The Chargers at least tried. The guys got hurt. You can't do anything about that. Probably the worst off it's line was probably the Raiders or the Chargers. They're pretty bad. Yeah, it wasn't fun to watch those teams play.

Okay, let's do this very quickly because I don't want time to expire. As you may have noticed, I tend to prattle, and then I forget to get to the main point of a conversation. So let's do it. Super Bowl 60, final score, Jeff Schwartz.

I like a 24-13 Seahawks.

Yeah. I keep having conversations around this game. And the thing that more and more, if you're going to put something on this game, I think the under, but that seems so... I mean, it's just inherently unfund. The last football game of the year, and you're going to bet for not very There are many points to be scored. But I feel like, practically, that's what's shaping up here. And let me just tell you my math. Everybody keeps pointing at that Seahawks defense. I also think it's interesting that if the Patriots do run the table here in a weird way. It's like how the first Patriots Championship came about. They didn't just win a bunch of playoff games and held up the Lombardi. They beat the Oakland Raiders, who were real good that year in the snow Storm, the Tuck Rule game. Then they go to Pittsburgh as a double-digit underdog and beat the Steelers. Then they go to the Super Bowl and they take down the Rams, who were the emerging dynasty of the time. That wasn't a garden variety title. That was especially Impressive. And same goes for this run by Drake May, as much as people keep talking about how he hasn't been as good throwing the ball in the postseason as he was in the regular season.

I mean, consider what their run would be. The three games would be the best defense in the Texans, the third best defense probably in Denver. And if they do this, this would be at worst, the second best defense in the NFL, right?

It's an incredible run if they're able to do it. I just don't think they're doing it against the Seattle team. I mean, look, you can make the case that in each of the three games they've won, the Patriots had some distinct advantage. For example, their pass rush against the offensive lines they faced. That's a distinct advantage they had. Obviously, in the third game, it was the Bronx had a backup quarterback in the game. That was a distinct advantage they had. Where's the advantage in this game? They can still win the game, don't get me wrong, but where's the distinct advantage they have? Where's a matchup that you love for them?

I like-I'll tell you one.

I like their defensive tackles against the Seahawks' right guard. I like one of the matchups, but there's not a lot around... I like Vrabel's ability to manage a game. We've seen him do it for longer than Mike McDonald, maybe forces Sam Darnal into a lot of issues, which is the number one worry I have about Seattle in this game. But otherwise, There's not a ton. Obviously, looking back on the 2001 Patriots, you mentioned Tom braided. Duh. At that time, we didn't know that was a fixed advantage for the Patriots.

Well, but as far as that goes, and to tie it back to Bill Belichick, I don't know if you've heard he's in the news this week, too, and has been. People are very upset, Jeff, about him not getting a gold jacket. But what Belichick always did is, I think, what's available to these Patriots, which is, advantage, no. But what makes that Seahawks offense go, it's JSN. And the Patriots have Christian Gonzales, who is about as effective as anybody in pro football, taking away your number one option. If you can just assume, much like Darrell Reeves for Belichick or what he would do against anybody's best, was take away that option. If you are able to effectively take away JSN, where does the Seahawks offense go from there? That's I say I steer towards the under at this point.

But we saw even last game, they lined up JSN in the backfield. Coupac does a great job of finding matchups for him, even though the team knows that that's happening. We know they're going to JSN. Can you find ways to get him open, even if you're guarding him? The thing is that the Pacers defense, I think, is good, but I don't think they're great. They played Three bad offensive lines and bad offenses. Obviously, the Bronx offensive line is good, but with Jerson, that team's a lot different. If they take it with JSN, it's a problem, right? It absolutely would be a problem. But no one else has been able to do it this year, Dave. Good luck with that. They just find different ways. Just motioning him across the formation, motioning him in. The Chiefs do this with Travis Kelsi, right? Everyone wants to double Travis Kelsi. They can't because the Chiefs move him every single step, right? He walk motions. He goes across the formation, comes back. If you have a smart offensive coordinator, you find ways to get that guy free. So that's what they've done with JSN. They found ways to get them one-on-one.

And if Seattle runs the ball as they've been doing the last five weeks or so, which has been a big improvement for them, that takes pressure off Sam Darnold to have to always find JSN. So if they continue to run the football as they have been, that's a big bonus for them.

I'm just trying to run through it. No one's prouder of his Super Bowl era knowledge, so I should... 24-13 would be a weird final score to have in a Super. It would be like not a great game, basically, is what it would amount to. I have some... There are... One of the best things about Super Bowl is all the ridiculous prop bets that come up here. So I want to go through those, not for anybody to actually wager on because most of them are too stupid to actually put something on, but they are funny to look at. Real quick, either of the Fuentes boys want to introduce another category here?

I will, Dave. And you know what? Being the superstar producer I am, we're going to do a little bit of this. We have music because it's award show season, Dave. As you know, this season is winding down. We already received an award. Is that applause I hear? There we go. Thank you, Dave. Thank you very much, everyone.

Three applause.

We're going to move on to my own personal favorite award, the SOS Award, Same old shit award. And this rewards the team that, well, guess what? They did it again. Another year of this. Dave, unprecedented three winners this year. Three winners. Number one, the Cleveland Browns.

Wait, is this how award shows work? You can have a three-way tie.

The way this one works, Dave. Number one, the Cleveland Browns. Their misery started in the draft when they drafted not one, but two shit quarterbacks in Dylan Gabriel and Shador Sanders. So guess what? Another year of Browns football right where Brown stuff belongs in the toilet.

Hey, Jeff, did you just hear the count? Was that my ear?

Did you just hear the count come through there? I thought that, one, two, three.

What are you guys talking about?

What are you guys talking about?

I'm giving out awards Oh, you haven't been around, Mike Fuentes.

Yeah, it's weird. When the count shows up, I don't know, you're always off in the bathroom. I got to get water. Or getting some food or whatever.

Exactly. The second winner of the SOS Award, the Miami Dolphins. Another year of the Miami Dolphins. They start one and six. You think, Hey, at least we're tanking. No, let's rattle off five in a row and end up with the number 12 pick once again. The Miami Dolphins second recipient of the same old shit. Dave, their first award of award season. It is the Pittsburgh Stealers. Once again, finishing just good enough to make the playoffs. But hey, we're not going anywhere. Another first round loss. And there you go. You're three winners of the SLS Same Old Shit Football America Award.

Can I give a couple of notes very quickly? One, I can barely hear you with the music. Will you turn the music down? And two, I don't know if you heard the news, but same old shit. Mike Tomlin left after 19 years. That is, by definition, not the same old shit.

Dave, It was for the season, Dave. That's very fair, but that was after. Thank you, Jeff. This is why the Fuentez brothers love you. That was after the season had ended for the Pittsburgh Stealers. So the Save Old Shit Award, Pittsburgh Stealers. Thank you.

We'll get back to some more awards as we go along here. Now, listen, here's my question for you. Here's a prop bet for you. The style of Bad Bunny's dress. You can also bet on whether or not Bad Bunny will wear a dress at his halftime show, but you can guess the style. A ball gown plus 175, a halter dress plus 325, a body can, I don't even know what that means, 5 to 1, a maxi, don't know what that is. That's 6 to 1. A line is 7 to 1. A shirt dress. What I'm learning is I don't know what these are. What's a shirt dress?

Wait, you said can? A shirt dress looks like... It's a shirt that's long. It looks like a dress. I do not know what that is. What's the third one? A can dress?

Well, no. There's a halter dress, a shirt dress, a body can.

Body can. I'm looking at- A BODYCAN? Bodycan.

A KEE-POW? What is a key pal?

A body can. Oh, body con dress?

Body con, yeah. What does that mean?

Body con dresses or body conscious dresses are body-conscious dresses. They're tight-fitting, stretching garments designed to highlight natural curves.

Careful with your net searches here, guys.

Also, you can do this, Will Bad Bunny Experience a Wardrobe Malfunction? And then in parentheses, Genitalia Must be seen.

It's an important detail.

Well, we have to... Listen, we need to establish what the standard is. Weaners must be witnessed.

I don't think we're going to see a weaner in this halftime show. I just know I'm going to be... I'm probably going to watch the Super Bowl with some people that are not going to be very happy watching Bad Bunny perform at halftime, and it's going to be quite an interesting crowd.

You think people are going to be upset watching Bad Bunny?

I think there's going to be people that I'm with that are going to not enjoy the music and the outfits.

All right. While you're here, let's talk about it.

I think it's dumb to not... Who cares?

I mean, this is what you're devoting your emotions to right now?

I'm with you, buddy.

It's the same thing as Belichick thing. Okay, Belichick should be in the Hall of Fame. The acting like it's the crisis of our time is a little bit much.

Well, no, I think it's more the fact that the process of the Hall of Fame seems not great if Belichick can't get in the first ballot. That's the thing. I think people look at it as a vindictive thing, and people in the process of the Hall of Fame is so secretive, Dave, that this is the reaction people are going to have. As far as the Bad Bunny thing, I'm one I think one of these people that... I think I'm with you, were like, I don't have time to think about being upset about the halftime performance at a Super Bowl. Who cares? I don't care. I just do not care.

It's funny how we've been trained care at all about the announcement. At some level, you're like, Oh, who did they announce was the halftime show three months ago? Who gives a crap? It was such a weird thing to inject into football, but apparently it must draw eyeballs. I guess at the Super Bowl, we've now learned it does. But when they first started doing this around the turn of the millennium, they's like, hey, it's a big football game. Halftime show is a super weird, is a weird unnecessary event. And I do question Who? I don't like football. I'm not watching football. Oh, Sheryl Crow is going to play at halftime? Count me in. But it clearly does work.

It does. Look, my wife is not a football fan, so she's the one who likes the halftime show. She will be the one who likes to watch Bad Bunny. She's the one who likes to watch the halftime show, Dave. That's who it's for. It's for my wife, who is at the two-year-old party at the house, who is not there for the football. She's there for the family, the friends, the food, taboos. And for the booze. She will very much enjoy the halftime show. That is what she's there for in the commercials. I'm there to watch football. That's what I care about. She's there for... It's just not... I don't care. I don't care who's performing. Never cared what To your point, never cared one bit who's performing. I just want to watch a football game.

One of the best things that happened to me as the result of talking about football for a living is I went to Seattle, the September after they won their Super Bowl. When they won Super Bowl 48, I went up there for the season opening game, primetime, NBC, all that. And so they had a band open up for them to create more splash. And so the day before the game, I'm walking from my hotel over to the stadium, to the clink, and several blocks I get within the stadium, and I'm like, Man, Seattle, how cool is that? Live music just going everywhere. I can hear a band playing, covering some Soundgarden, and I get closer and closer until I'm about 300, 400 yards away from the stadium. And up in the distance, I'm like, Man, this cover band's really good. Why are they set up right in front of the stadium? And I get close enough to realize, Oh, no, that's not a cover band. That's Soundgarden. And I stood there with literally three other human beings, plus some shooters trying to go through the rehearsal and watched a live rehearsal, a set, basically, of Soundgarden with fewer than five people alongside me.

It was of the great things I've ever witnessed. After that, it's all downhill after that. Have fun Bad Bunny and Green Day and all the rest of it. Let me ask you this, will a Streaker be tackled on the field of play? Yes, minus 110.

Likelier in California, probably, than other parts of the country. I would say no for this one. What's the no on this? Is there a no? Is it just one-way market or is there a no on these props?

No, no, no. Minus 130 is your no there. Wait, wait, wait.

I would say no.

Can we Can we do a parlay, Ice Protest plus Streaker? Yes. Is this possible? All in one. Because I'm in on that. I can get there.

I'm in for the Ice Protest, yes.

How good is this one? Will Sam Darnold, Seeing Ghosts, be mentioned at least once? Yes. 6 to 1.

Start prating money.

Absolutely. Collinsworth might start with that.

I got to tell you, I got to tell you, Mike, Sam Darnold, he saw a ghost.

I sat down with him last week and he said he still sees ghosts out I'm just telling you, he's seeing ghosts.

I'm just telling you.

Is there a prop of Will Kaldroth mention Mahomes' name?

I'm trying to look through all these. There has to be. That'll catch in the first five minutes, too. How about this? How many times will Cardi B be shown? Over, under, one and a half times.

Oh, under. I think just once.

Oh, you think so? Unless they have to cut away to all his other baby mamas. But I think that- The thing with that is she will be mentioned, but she will be cut away.

But will she appear in like, celebration packages? Like, is it only in the stands?

No, but I think it's only... These props only are from the kickoff to the final whistle go to the game. In that period of time, how many times will she be... I think it's one time she'll be shown. You also have to imagine that New England has to score. They got to do a lot of good things for her to be shown. The second half of the Chiefs' Eagles game, they were shown Taylor Swift when the Chiefs are down 34-nothing. There has to be a good place for New England to want to show her in the stance.

I'm going to go over in this one. I'm optimistic about this one in particular. One more for you. Will Mike Vrabel bleed from his face? Yes.

I thought he meant to bleed from somewhere else after the game because he promised to cut something off if he won the Super Bowl.

Did he do it again? He has more than one of those because didn't he have to cut the first one-off already?

I I thought he promised to cut something off if he wanted. No, he didn't win the Super Bowl as a tight-side coach.

Oh, he was going to cut off his wiener. Yeah. They had to win the Super Bowl? That was the standard he laid out there?

I think he said Oh, here we go. He just did his promise. In 2019, he agreed to cut off his penis if he won the Super Bowl. And I think he reneged on that a little bit. I don't know what he meant. Maybe I'll cut it in a Laugh.

Last thing for you is this, Schwartz, to steer it back to the weird narratives that emerge. Do you think... I mean, everything's hyperbole at this point, but I love this thing of that as soon as the title games were settled, the headlines were, Don't count out Mike Vrabel just yet. I mean, who are these Seahawks? I think that a lot of people, I always talk about the importance of dynasties, right? Because they give you content context to what you're watching, that this team is back. I feel like we don't have a feeling for either one of these teams. Do you think that the Seahawks at the end of this one and through the offseason, people are going to be talking about the Seahawks as some sturdy, Look out for this team. This is just the start of a run here.

I'm glad you mentioned because I've been thinking about this when it comes to college football. It does feel like people forgot Indiana win a Championship very fast, and I don't think that's the case for other teams to win in the same manner. I think that if Seattle were to win, it would be more forgotten about than New England. I think if New England wins, there's a lot more talk around all their back and dynasty and blah, blah, blah, blah. If Seattle wins, people will make it to be a one-off and just be like, They're just like a weird year. They won the Super Bowl. Darnal was out of his mind. He played great. Because I did text someone today. I was like, He didn't win a Championship eight days ago. We It's just like, We don't talk about that anymore? It's just an odd thing. No one's even talking about. They're moving on next year.

It was special and all that, but that playoff, man, it stretched out way too long.

It's way too long. It is way too long. But I do think that- It's confusing.

People were tired of it by the time it ended.

I agree. I do think that if New England wins, it's a longer story than Seattle winning.

Jeff Schwartz, you've been a mensh all season long. Obviously, we'll continue the conversation once the Super Bowl is complete. But in the meantime, You've made this show, Football America, our first season, way better than it otherwise would have been. We appreciate you always stepping up and jumping on with us at the start of the weeks to try and help us out and make us seem a little bit smarter than we otherwise would have been.

I'm glad to be here. I'm eagerly awaiting fruit of the year results, and I hope that I could get those as soon as possible. Thank you.

All right. And next time we talk, let's figure out what Mike McCarthy is going to do differently. I mean, they're going to bring back. Are they really going to bring back Aaron Rodgers? My goodness. I don't have time for that discussion right now. Goodbye for now, Jeff. Hi, buddy. All right. Good times. Hanzu Schwartz. Star-studded episode of Football America. To get you right for 60, we'll continue to do it all week long. Will the entire Levitard Network. Quickly, Fuentez, boys, will any player or coach cry during the national anthem?

Has to be shown on TV, I'm guessing.

Yeah. What do you mean? How else would we have- How else would we prove it?

Yeah, exactly. So I'm going to say- I'm going to go player. I'm going to go player, and yes.

What will the Seahawks call during the coin toss? Heads or tails?

Tails, man. They're birds. Yeah, tails, sure.

No country for old men taught us this important lesson, and you guys are ignoring it. Anton Shegour asks, Heads or tails? The guy behind the counter at the gas station, the old man says, Heads. We know he lives. Their message is, That's the optimistic way to go. That's what you want. Everything is right in the world. Everything's coming up the way you expect it to. If you're calling tales, then you're a cynic. You expect things to come ass up. Don't bet tails. It fails. Heads is the way to go. These and more insights as we roll forward towards Super Bowl 60 upcoming. Until then for the Fuentes, boys. Great thanks to Schwartz and to Hansus and to you, my fellow football Americans, for tuning in today and all season long. Back for more on Friday. Until then. Thanks so much. It's been a thin slice of heaven.