Transcript of Postgame Show: Dan Gets Naked (feat. JuJu Gotti)

Look at this guy. Oh, boy. And there's Miami. How is the placement of the- You got to move it down a little bit. Oh. Yeah, there you go. I might want one for the belly button, too. No, you look great. You want to give me a couple of them just so that the internet's not quite forever? All three of them? Yes, just anything that helps me here. Oh, boy. Here. Oh, man. Are we live? Are we doing this? Yeah. Man, gravity is doing its thing. Is that what you think Don Bailey does on the phone?

Oh, boy, he got a booty in the front, don't he?

You look like David Hasahall eating a burger. I think you guys should be saving all of this for air. It's where we are. We are on the air. Sorry, I just had 14 crackers. You'll see why in a second. Welcome, Juju, to the postgame show. Not trying to look at that. Thank you.

Well, what in the hell do you all got going on down there? Why?

What's happening? Greg, you see how this is done? Greg doesn't have his headphones on, but look at this, Greg. What do you think of what Dan's doing right now? Tremendous producer. Greg, Cody, produce this. Thank you. It was my idea. I got to give myself credit. Greg, there's a semi-naked Dan Levatard in the studio. Greg, you've been pretty unusually That's really terrible today, even by your standards. Thank you. I'm nude on the floor doing what you wouldn't do, and you don't know that you're just supposed to talk when the microphone is in front of you, and we're throwing the show to you. I can't believe you don't think that I have any lines that I draw. I'm just going to do anything and everything. No, I'm sorry. I mean, you're a better man than me. Also a bigger man. What's your assessment of what you're looking at? I'd rather not look at it if I'm being perfectly I'm honest. I'm trying to shield myself here. I got blinders on. I borrowed blinders from one of my racehorses, and I have them on, so I don't have to look to my left. Juju, you're not a Miami guy, so do you recognize what Dan is doing here?

No, but I do recognize that my boy got a booty in the front.

A lot less hair than I thought. Boreled blinders from one of my racehorses. It's full screen. Good job, guys. That's how I'm punctuating the show. You're manscaping, huh? Because I've seen you before. You've occasionally subjected yourself to this. That's all right. I shave my chest. That's what's going on here. It's a good look. Youtube, Lebitard and Friends. You want to see this. If the audio experience is something that you usually are confined to, if you've always been dying to see what I look like, if I were Bert Reynolds on a Berskin rug or Don Bailey senior on a carpet billboard, this is what it would look like. Juju, do we have any other criticisms for me today that aren't just body shaming?

Yes. Yesterday on the show, we had the illustrious Edge on the show, so I had to skip my observations of what you was doing yesterday. But yesterday, your mama said, I don't want the camera on me. She shoed you away. And you're talking about, I overrode my mom. Excuse me, sir. She brought you into this world. You know what she can do? Take right up on out of here. You did. We got to throw Ms. Laura a little bit more respect than we do on camera. Damn right.

Okay. Fair criticism. I also called her a Communist for rooting for Fernando Mendoza and with generally disrespectful. I'm I'm sorry, Mom.

Thank you, brother. Also, I don't think that Jason Taylor is afraid of Mario Cristobal, in my opinion. I've seen that brother on the defensive line. You said Jason Taylor is afraid of Mario Cristobal. I don't think I think it's a mutual friendship there.

Mike? I think everybody's afraid of Mario Cristobal. That works for Mario Cristobal. Like a little tinge. Maybe not even one that you would publicly admit, but yeah, everyone's a little afraid of Mario.

Also, yesterday's segment with Domino, oh, my goodness. Chef's Kiss, bro. That was some fun TV there, bro. But during the segment, you said that Domino is the Cuban that you thought Tony Tony was, Come on, bro. You can't talk to folks like that, man.

He is, though. I thought Tony would be wearing wrestling tights around here, being even more prodigiously Cuban than he is. That's not a disrespect. What's the disrespect in that?

Hey, touche. You don't see it, I don't see it. Also, please do know that that shot that we just saw with Dan Leventhal will be on leventhalaf. Com on plenty of T-shirts, every color you want ASAP, coming to a theater near you. No one's going to post that on the internet, right?

Wait a minute. Why are my Emmys there?

I think they're hiding their booty, dude. But the number one thing from yesterday, bro, we need to stop speeding up the illustrious Diana Roosini, man. Hats off to Diana for taking up for herself, standing up for herself, because I don't like how we be speeding folks up. The guests got 30 minutes. They got 20 minutes. Look, man, I'm going to do them at my I got good juice for you. You're talking about speed it up.

Come on, man. That's really good feedback. We could have been better. I could have been, and I called her after the show to tell her that and apologize to her. Good criticism, Juju. Yeah, you were so terrible to the point where she had to say, Fine, it's your show. That's never good.

Also, something from yesterday that I think requires Judge Zaz's ruling on because we got a big The case pending right now. Yesterday during the show, Dan's mother said that Dan is not Cuban. Judge Zaz.

All rise, the Honorable Jonathan Zazlo, now presiding with prejudice. My dad was an embarrassment yesterday. I can't believe I'm not Cuban. I'm not Cuban. Is Dan Lebitard a legit Cuban? No es cubano.

You're not guilty. Prejudice. I like it.

Tio Zaz has ruled. No es cubano. Wait, so that would be guilty or not guilty? Prejudice. Guilty of not being Cuban, not guilty of being Cuban. Guilty.

Also, the weekend. I want to send a congratulations to our brother, Mero, the kid Mero, being named Hot 97's new morning host from 6: 00 AM to 10: 00 AM weekdays, man. Salute to Mero, man, that's a big deal right there, bro. I think it should have got more headlines than it did.

You're right. It's perfect with that city. He'll join us inexplicably for the livestream on Monday, but it should have gotten more headlines, Juju, because It's a perfect fit. Are you surprised at all that the last time I was with Mero in New York, he took out a pen and started signing his name on garbage cans, graffiting it? Because that dude has imprinted that entire city in more ways than just that. It's perfect to see him on that show. Congratulations to the kid.

Hell, yeah, man. It inspired me to make a top five people who should have got more headlines during this week after the week they had. Number five, Mike Jackson, man, from the Carolina Panthers and the U, you did. He was doing some things during that playoff loss. Tupuukunakua, what's his name? Devante Adams. But he had them brothers locked down, and I don't think he got the credit he deserved on that. Number 4, Payton Watson of the Denver Nuggets right now. The Joker has been out, and he has stepped up in a way that has outperformed everybody who getting paid way more money than he is on that roster. So salute to Payton Watson. Number 3, Brock Purdy, man. Bro, seeing George kill to go down, you had a perfect excuse to pack it in. You got every excuse to feel sorry for yourself and be like, You know what? This ain't my year. Them boys took down the champs. In Philly, man, Brock Purdy, I see you, brother. Number two, Ben, the Don Johnson, man. My boy called his shot, man. He came on and said, Look, I don't like the packers, man. I don't like to stand on it.

Here's your dap. Take your dap with your back to Green Bay. I like what Ben Johnson doing, man.

Ben, the Don Johnson is great.

Number one, brother, Keesha Nixon, Compton, California. Defensive back from the packers. He had a chance to tackle the DeAndre Swift on the goal backed out of it. You know how the NFL do what they write, so we can't show that video. But he backed away instead of trying to tackle to punch the ball out. Man, we don't respect that over here, bro. Still a legend, but come on, bro.

Juju, I see the jersey you're rocking. What do you think if Ja Morant takes his talents to South Beach?

Yeah, I think it's not sign, seal, then deliver. I'm wearing this jersey right now because this is my last chance to wear this, and it actually is real. This is the last time I will be able to wear this Ja Morant grizzly's jersey, and he's on the grizzly's. I think my boy is actually sent to the heat already. Did you see after the three-pointer that Bam hit last night, he did Ja Morant's celebration. Yeah, but two, two.

Bam did the Ja Morant Marant's celebration, and then he had spit hanging from his chin, and that's total oral loss. That's oral loss.

You're right, bro. I believe, bro. Because when I saw it, I was like,.

That was a loogie. He He was doing John Marant's celebration, and as he spit accidentally, it got caught in his goatee, and it was a large amount of spit.

Hell, yeah, bro.

How embarrassing publicly. I would never do anything to embarrass myself publicly like that.

Look at the arch on my boy's feet, bro. My boy got them high archers. I see why you be wearing them orthopedians.

I like the way Dan goes back and forth with his feetsies. My feet are cold and the whole body is cold because I'm not used to being quite this nude in front of people. It's not that cold in there. This is the longest post game of my life. Yes, please. End it. Polls. Juju, you got some polls? I've seen. Yeah, there's a poll right now that I'm looking at that I don't like. Cold in there.

Hello. Should it be illegal for Dylan Brooks and Grayson Allen to play on the same team? 87% of the audience says, Yes, it should be. Best tight-end ever. Not Dan, apparently. Travis Kelsi or Rob Gronkowski? 82% Eighty-sevent-percent of the audience says Rob Gronkowski. Wow, that's higher than I thought. Wow. Right. He was pretty good.

School player.

Can you imagine coaching Lamar Jackson and then being enamored with Quin Ewers? Eighty-sevent-percent of the audience says, No, they can't imagine that. And those are your polls for today.

You don't have to imagine this, ladies. It's right here for you.

Jesus.

No. I seriously can't even look.