Transcript of Local Hour: Dan Hates the Hurricanes

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He's very polarizing. Not everyone feels that way.

I know people are like, Oh, what's Samson like? He must be an asshole. I'm like, No, I like it. He's always been really good to me. I like David. Took me to Pearl Jam.

Doesn't everybody here like David?

I don't know. I haven't done a poll.

Roy feels some type of way.

I love David, man. And he's a good dude. Yeah.

I'm just kidding. Everybody likes David.

He's grown on me. Many years ago, I would not have said I like David Samson, but he's grown on me, genuinely. It's one of the things I get from people where it's like, Listen, I don't know Dan very well. Dan seems like a great guy, and I just don't understand how he can be friends with David Samson.

I get that. People think Dan's a great guy.

I feel like I'm walking a little bit on eggshells today because I love talking to David, and I don't understand how he's working through everything right now. I I really don't.

I've been asking him about a leave. I think it's probably appropriate for him to leave, but he also gets whatever joy there is to be had in life these days from having an audience for an hour that cares about what he has to say about things. He's built that. It's hard to build. Zaz, you know how hard these things are to build? Mike, you know how hard these things are to build? But David built a media career in five years because he's in the volume business. He can do two hours a by himself. Nobody can do that.

I think you've gone through your stuff, too, and your family, Dan. I think that this audience, this community around the show, and the doing and the making of stuff does provide some relief, a bit of a cathartic experience making this stuff and being supported by a community that you've helped create. I get why.

But you could also tell he works really hard at doing the show together. How does he find the mindset to do it? I don't know.

This is a pretty strange start. I can't lie.

I'm a little uncomfortable. This was always supposed to be a meeting that was off air, that was overheard by the audience.

That's what the Shadow Show was supposed to be, but instead it became your performances.

Oye, Pablito, what's good, bro?

The Dork.

.

How Cuban are you? Okay.

I'm going to give all the good. It's probably negative. It's probably negative.

What do you put in there in that aluminum aluminum?.

I don't know what talco is.

Jesus.

It's a guy who is Blank. Prick.. How did I do? Guess what we're doing the party? We're doing it at Bird Bowl.

Is Talco and Baby Powder the same thing?

Yes, Are you doofus? What Cuban are you?

The money is in town.

You guys feel it, right? Because the city is being wallpapered for advertisements to big-time football, college football, both teams. It's the Cuban Super Bowl. Fernando Mendoza has as many ads around town already as everywhere. You see them everywhere as the University of Miami playing a home game.

It's not good luck, Columbus kids. I saw one that's just good luck, Fernando.

No, Cubans are divided, and this is a good time for that. Sports has torn apart the Cuban community. Look, Mike has seen enough of this to know that ESPN De Portes was stuffed into a corner of the Clevelander with us. Here's what's left of it. Here's what's left of ESPN De Portes in the last five years. It's the biggest game is in Miami, and we're going to latin it up, and we're going to do so with Greg Cody singing in a cowboy hat and prancing around the studio to introduce new people to our show because the biggest thing is here. It's in town, and you already feel it. Nobody can get anywhere. Donald Trump being in town during a big event Miami thing is going to make it take 17 hours for any person trying to get into that place. It's going to be sitting there alone at game time.

Just trying to stick to sports as my hockey team goes to the White House. How soon are you leaving for- As my soccer team can't celebrate the Club World Cup without him on the stage, as I can experience a World Cup in this country without his every single fingerprint all over it, and now at the National Championship Game, which I just knew was going to happen.

Okay, well, so let's talk about this as this giant monstrosity comes to town here, and I want to figure out what planes to fly over the stadium. Help me fly some planes.

Interesting way to frame that. Probably airspace is going to be restricted.

I want to do some advertising. You don't think you can have just the plane circling around?

I think airspace is going to be at a premium and restricted, so you may want to pivot. Maybe one of those busses.

No, you don't think it's funny for our logo with some joke and a banner to be weaving in and out of military planes? You don't think that's funny? No.

I I honestly don't even think our logo would fly with Canes fans either. Are we a playoff team now? Probably even more polarizing amongst Canes fans than Donald Trump. Okay. In fact, I know that to be the case. I've at least seen hats supporting him at the games.

All right, look. Here we go with this. No, we can get into this because I was being heckled from the bowling alley, Greg and Chris Cody telling me what their friends are saying about how offensive the things I'm doing are. We'll get to that in a People are mad at you. I'm a provocateur. I've been doing this for 30 years. Look, you broke a bottle over my chin 25 years ago because you're mad at me. Don't care. Built the empire around our program. I love it. I went to school there. Did journalism there. Don't care who's mad about it. Didn't care about it 25 years ago. Program has been very good to me. I love it. I've always respected it, and I've always told it's story well.

Yes, you have always told it's story well. I think most Canes fans don't think that you respect it. I know this from the enormous amount of fanfare that I got for yesterday's segment, Defending Mario Cristobal. Dan, I think here's where the confusion is, and let me try to explain this as best I can. You're a guy that has historically put on for Miami better than anybody else. When those heat teams were going and the entire world was against Miami, you didn't give a single flying F about who was coming your way. You do not step to this town and talk shit about it. And when there is a team for a school that you went to, a a team that reflects this town better than anyone has ever had, you seem to both sides it. Look, Jeremy, it's great that we have a villain. Billy doing his shit-saring thing, that was cool. But for it to come from somebody that went to the school who already got a reputation working against him. People, I think, incorrectly place a lot of the sanction stuff on you.

You know about that Pell grant?

Yeah. You got scooped on it.

Can you say the one word there incorrectly again? No, let's give people, since we're here, Okay, since we're here, look, this is a long time in coming. I have a relationship with the school, the community around the school, speak at its classes, love the school, will always love the school, and wildly grateful for all of the opportunities it presented, including the stage right now, because they helped us build this thing with all the things I learned from them and their program.

Look, it's been a rough 20 years. I'm trying to calmly explain why people feel this way about you. In the local hour over several years, rather than trying to be ra-ra about the home team, like we are seemingly with all the other sports. Dolphins, we tee off on, and that's understandable because they've been miserable, and we got to find a way to find the fun content. But for whatever reason, when it comes to the Miami Hurricanes, we give the other side more than we give the pro stuff. I know I am not the only Miami Hurricane fan in this studio. I'm surrounded by them. You're a Miami Hurricane fan. You're a Miami Hurricane fan. These two guys in front of me are a Miami Hurricanes fan. The only person that's not a Miami Hurricane fan is Jeremy, who reps UCF and Indiana and whoever Miami is playing. That's understandable. And yet I think it's outsized and has been outsized on this show, giving voice to the dissenting opinions that it's become the opinion. And this is the reality. This is the perception of our show. The show, outside of me, is largely perceived amongst our community to be an anti-Miami show.

Okay.

And so let me, Jesus, Jesus, I didn't realize I had to explain this to the audience. Never mind that I had to explain this to you. I didn't think I would have to explain any of this specifically to you. We're doing a show that has represented our city for 20 years through all of that conflict, and the story starts, okay, just so we remember what our roots are here. Before our radio station existed, I'm fighting in '90s Miami with the incumbent radio station who's killing me for 10 years while using all of my columns that are about race relations and what's going on really at the University of Miami with its players and who they actually are as everything that's being reported is gun charges and cocaine and Michael Irvin ran over somebody's foot near the library. For 10 years, that radio station is crushing me and using my columns for content to make themselves radio stars while I'm coming up to that school as a cube in Miami, through the same Miami Cristobal came up through.

Can you please mention how your parents fled to this country so I can get Bingo for freedom?

No, I'm going to tell you the entirety of the story. I know you guys know the story, okay? I know you're bored by the story, but I'm going to tell the entirety of the story because of how I feel about this program and because I've been I rested around it and because I got a beer bottle broken over my face.

No, you're going to also tell the story because you're a writer. Tell it.

I'm the one who runs this show. Yeah. And in running this show, we've created a wonderful journalistic character that represents the University of Miami artfully and with his heart at all times. And we do a national thing that annoys people plenty with all our Miami since ESPN Deportes. Now, I am happy for everything that's happening around the program. I said a word yesterday, reputationally, a word, a single word is what I said to you, that Mario Cristobal, reputationally is not trusted in the big games, and that set you off.

Yeah, because it's just not true.

He's seven and oh against top 25 teams, and that is indisputable. Yeah, big games will show up. But what's also not disputable is they've never won the ACC or played in its championship game. And so the big games are few and far between. And so when you lose double-digit underdogs, it's not unfair to say that before this recent run, he was reputationally criticized as someone who would not win these games.

Porr is saying none of those games actually close at double digits. I hear you. They were a Louisville double-digit favorite. Right, but the reputation is they don't show up for these games. These are one-score losses.

I think that's the part where there's confusion about.

We talked about that yesterday. All right, it's fine. Here's where I want to get at. I understand what you're doing. I understand, especially during some lean years, how my character could be grading and how my passion needed to have people to bump up against. When it comes to the Miami heat, though, that doesn't really exist. When it comes to the Florida Panthers, though, that doesn't really exist. So Miami Hurricanes fans are sitting back and watching our show over the years, and especially during this run, and are asking themselves, does Dan just need a Pat Reilly fortune Cookie wrapped around this story to cape up for his town? Because why is it so outsized that we have to have so many dissenting opinions when this is such a great story for this community and Dan is supposed to be the Miami guy and he actually went to the school?

But who disputes of what you're saying, and how is that not being conveyed by this show through you? How is that not obvious in terms of bursts of great hurricane coverage that they can get not just here, but with the own business that you started because you want to do it differently and you want to be over there actually analyzing for two straight hours the guard play?

I would guess because they want 100% buy-in on this show.

I think they... Look, our show meets a moment when the team is in the Championship Games, People come here from all over the world to hear Bias Miami coverage because we are a Miami show. And for whatever reason, when it comes to this program, and it's irrefutable because I have felt it, because I am often alone when I am touting the Miami Hurricanes, this show has an outsized representation of dissenting opinions when it comes to this program. And I understand why. And I understand why I, in particular, need a dilution. I don't understand why we need that dilution right In sports, championships aren't one alone, the one with the right people around you.

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Dan Levatard.

It's a Judge called Sweetie.

Stugatz.

How's your cello?

This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugatz.

I have a theory. I have a theory why. Why Dan is... I think what you're saying makes sense. And why Dan is like that with the Canes as opposed to not like that when the heat are in the finals or the Panthers are winning the Stanley Cup. Is it because you actually have a legitimate tie to the school? And maybe you don't You want to come off as... You want to actually be fair because you legitimately have a tie to the score as opposed to having a... You never played with my heat.

Well, thank you, Zaz. I am attempting ostensibly, to be fair. Objective is funny because it's an illusion. Now? No. But did you not hear nick Wright yesterday? Were you guys not listening when nick Wright did what he did with the J, capital J, wherever it is that he accused me of just not being you anymore? Right.

Are you just overcompensating? Because you cannot deny that it is different when it comes to this program.

Mike, I'm simply, to our national and regional audience, I am simply also trying to give voice to whatever other side there is here in the name of fairness, while everyone who's listening this knows I love the school.

Right, but you don't do that to the other teams. You don't. When they are in this spot, you don't because you do.

Ask Jeremy how the heat feel about... How did the heat feel about this show?

I don't even know. I don't know how the heat feel. I know as the one person. I'm hearing everything Mike is saying and saying, yes, yes, yes, on the heat side. Because this entire show for the last three years has been an anti-heat show. Recently. It's fair. Look, we're trying to call them a little bit like we see them. I'm not asking for a hundred ra, ra homerism. I don't think that's ever been the case. We've always had someone on the show that is either anti the local team or at least speaks for that section of the audience. I'm just saying the pro Miami stuff is not a majority opinion on show and hasn't been since probably it started. And that is the perception of the fans. You may feel differently. I'm just telling you how it is because I'm out here in these streets, Dan.

Yeah, you've mentioned that you have those street credentials. And I urge everyone who's listening to this who want an evolution of all of this coverage. And I've heard what Mike is doing, and it's daily. And I shouldn't give him all the credit because there are a lot of people working on it. But if you want a content factory where every day you're getting reported stuff and different perspectives and instantaneously because, Zaz, I don't know if you've noticed this, but the whole machine is moving a lot faster now. So places like doing what Mike is doing right now that are news information places that are independent and alive every day, especially during this time, people are snorting all of this coverage. Yeah.

No, absolutely. You told me how much content you guys are putting out with Canes Insight, like how much content per day. I couldn't believe it, man. You guys are putting out a lot.

I think that as the world gets smaller, as people get a little bit more detached, I do think that there's going to be a huge migration to local, to feel a sense of community around stuff. When I was in College Station- Even when we're not playing in a Championship game? Yeah, even so, because there is a sense of community. People may have their opinions about what Miami's community is in Coral Gables. It's not Happy Valley or College Station. But when I went College Station, Techsags is this amazing content machine. What they do is aspirational. They have this huge three-story studio right across the street from Kyle Field, and you realize there's an economy here, and people are starved for it when your team is making a run like this, or even when you're upset with your team, people want to turn to stuff. I'm really proud of the stuff that D-Money, Peter Reeve, and everybody that's ever helped us along the way is pumping out at Canes Insight right now. Got in at a good time. Thankfully, the program trajectory is going the way that it is, but we cover everything. Transfer portal, we break news, Miami Hur hurricanes Basketball Head Coaching News.

We broke that. We have as good as sources as anybody in the industry when it comes to covering this team. We're really plugged in, and we're pumping out content on the daily, so thank you for the opportunity to plug it. Please, you're on YouTube right now watching us. Official Canes Insight. Cost you nothing to subscribe and support what we're doing.

Look at Tony. He is soaked in Latino. I recognize the furniture in there. You know I recognize los pastelitos. You, right now, it can be said, are at the very epicenter, at the heart, the Pulse, that very seat of Miami.

Yeah, Dan. Hello. Welcome. Good morning. Right here, I'm at Party Cake, a bakery right here on La Caillot. I have La Casa Los Truco, literally, I can throw a baseball right to La Casa Los Truco, right across the street. I'm very partial. See, hold on. Let's see if I can get it. There we go. Right there. There's Casa Los Truco. Try to throw a baseball.

Okay. No, look.

I don't have a baseball with me, but if I could, I would.

Tony, please don't- Throw a fake baseball like he did at FIU.

We missed an opportunity yesterday to have the Columbus coach analyze Tony's quarterback throw without a football. I thought about that. Let's just go back next week. On the way home, I was like, Shitty job by me.

Should have thought of that earlier. No, let's do it next week. It's fine. Look, this show is moving fast this week. There's a lot going on. We just skipped past the national, and I'm guessing international news that Fernando Mendoza's high school coach called him publicly a dork yesterday, like a nerd. The beef in the Cuban community has escalated to that, where we stirred controversy we didn't have time for.

I mean, Dan, to be honest, I didn't feed him the dork line. I know Jeremy said, did Tony feed him that line? I did not. We were standing a couple of paces apart from each other. He knows ball. He understands a dork when he sees one, which is fine. I love Fernando Mendoza. Again, he could be my cousin. He could be my brother. I love the kid. But when you start talking about the stoics during the press conference, I know, Hey, you took a couple too many philosophy classes at Columbus, which is fine. Again, no shade, but I just know what the deal is.

Tony, I have wanted all week for you to pop up somewhere and buy everybody breakfast. Is there a way right now that we can tell people where you're going to be tomorrow? Do we have a plan for tomorrow so that we can buy Miami breakfast on the corner of somewhere in Miami tomorrow, please?

Absolutely, Dan. I'm going to be boots on the ground at Coral Gables. I'm going to be on campus at the University.

They're allowing us on campus somehow.

Location is still TBD. Location is still TBD, but we will be on campus tomorrow. Maybe we'll bring some colita, we'll bring some patalitos, some crocetica, and start passing them out.

But how I got right now where you are? Look, here's the thing, Tony. Here's the thing. You want me to buy this guy breakfast? No, I want you guys to have a plan of buying everybody a breakfast in Miami at some point. Maybe we'll do it Monday.

You have the budget for that? Dan, that's going to It costs like $16.

I know. That's why I want to throw a big party. That's why I want to throw a big party. Panco Montequi. Do you have any there? Are you dipping it in Cafe Con Leche? What are you doing?

Right now, I'm just drinking a Cortadito, which is basically a mini Cafe Con Leche. It's colada cut with milk, which is why it's called Cortadito. There's a truck going backwards on the road here. I don't know if that's legal, but there's a bunch of... If you look over my shoulder here, I don't know if you guys can see this, over my right around here, there's about 150 barra de pan right there on the rack back there. So they are getting ready for. Your mouth was watering. Which we call to Tada. Yeah. Once we hang up here together, I'm going to go have a breakfast.

Zazla, where are you on Cuban coffee? Trey Wingo, you guys... Okay, but everyone knows the story around here. It is legendary. Trey Wingo's career ended when he came down to South Florida and got addicted to Caffecito, and he was never the same after that, and he couldn't stop talking about it. I It isn't normal coffee. It's laced with '80s Miami cocaine.

All of it. My father tells a story of when he first moved down here back in the early '80s, and he had Cuban coffee for the very first time. He thought he was having a heart attack. They called the ambulance. The hospital came to his work. They started strapping the deals on his chest, and they saw the empty cup of Cuban coffee on his desk, and they said, Did you just drink all of that? He said, Yes. They immediately took all the patches off and went home. All the deals, they took That is unbelievable.

True story. That's why you meant that.

You're not supposed to have the entire thing. That's why they give you the thimble. He didn't know. Because you're not supposed to have the entire thing.

He loves telling that story. Wait a minute.

He almost overdosed. Hold on. You're telling me there's a visual somewhere of a family relative of yours, the paramedics arriving. My father. I know, but there are other people here.

Yeah.

What I'm What I'm saying is at the center of your family, you're having an incident in which your father has had too much cafecito passed out and ever- It was at work.

He's sitting behind a desk. The coworkers called the ambulance. His heart rate got so high. He thought he was having a heart attack. They're there. They're strapping the deals on his chest. They got the shirt open.

What are the deals?

The heart monitor. So they could see if you're having a heart attack. They're strapping the deals on his chest. He's got his shirt open. The chest is out. That very manly Zaslow chest hair. As they're monitoring, one of the paramedics sees the empty cup of Cappacito and says, Did you just drink that? He says, Yes. They didn't even say anything. They just started unstrapping everything. They went home.

I'm telling you, that's a skit. That's a skit for all time on Sabah Lojigante, someone like Zaz's dad thinking he overdosed on coffee and disgusted Latin-New Yorker who just moved to Miami. You didn't know. But disgusted Latin paramedics throwing down their equipment because, Oh, we've got Got another one of these in Miami. Another Trey Wingo can't handle his coffee. Yeah. True story. It's an unbelievable story.

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To us, residents.

Oh, wow. That's pretty good. It's in there.

It's better. You think I haven't been practicing?

Stugatz. I didn't realize we had a substitute complicated legacy. Brought to you by headquarters Toyota.

441 Power Line Road. Second down of nine. This is the Dan Levatard Show with the Stugats.

Yes, Tony, let's buy some breakfast for people. How many times to somebody- Three times. How many times? Go interview the person who's dropping things. Get us to the interview. Ask how common that is for somebody to drop three things in a 90-second hit. Go do the interview.

No, nobody's dropping anything, Dan. No, hold on. Dan, nobody's dropping anything. What had happened was that's when you grind the coffee and when you actually make the coffee, you hit La Cazuela, and that's what that is. I know you've probably never been to a Cuban bakery in the last 30 years.

Oh, my God. That's my ignorance showing right there.

How embarrassing.

How embarrassing.

No, it really is embarrassing. It really is embarrassing. Dan's trying to create these things, and I'm like, Oh, no, dude, that happens 18,000 times a second here. Come on, come over. Watch. See, so if you look at what she's got going on right here, right? That's where the cafetera, that's what she's hitting right here to knock out all the café that's already been made. So that's when you hear, it gets hit right there.

Can we sit around and get that? Can we sit here and get it until we get the live moment so that everyone can see how Cuban coffee is made that ruins Trey Wingo's career? I want to build that way. I want people to be able to sell coffee. I'll have to leave. You guys don't-I wonder how Trey feels about this.

Again, she ran away because the camera is here. Yeah, he thinks his career was ruined.

I think he's still working. I follow. Did a lot of great stuff for DraftKings, I'll tell you that much.

I'm sorry, was that cruel? I'm simply-Yes. A little bit. I don't think that he got addicted to coffee?

No, the other part. The other part.

The ruining part.

The ruining of his career. But it makes the story better. I thought that's the joke we were all in on.

No, it's insulting. You don't have the greatest of radars. Also, Dave Dunn isn't Cuban. That was my favorite part. We tried to tell you repeatedly. Yesterday, he said he was a gringo.

Hey, Dave Dunn, what's your favorite Cuban dish?

You insisted.

No, I had to help on that one because he said, What does this mean for Cuba, Miami?, which, of course, the guy does not know anything because he came here five years ago. He's David Dunn. I at least threw him the alip of what's your favorite dish? Where he can at least throw croquetas in there, going on. He does a good job.

Sometimes writers know the story they're going to tell.

I'm trying to repair I'm trying to repair the relationship that Dan has with Miami right now because Dan is just uniquely Miami Beach, and he lives in that silo, which is beautiful. I love that for you. But when we come over here on this side of them, Carter, things are different.

It sounds like an insult. It's what the streets are saying.

It's not an insult. It's what the streets are saying. I love Dan like a father figure.

We're out here helping. We're boosting Dan's Miami credentials. I'm trying.

I'm literally trying. Doing our best. You didn't know that the Pam, Pam, Pam was a cafe.

Even I knew that. Dude, and let's not... If we have to revisit it, his dad was an embarrassment domineur. Oh, my God. An embarrassment. Forgot about Fidel and forgot about Elian.

This is how you guys-Elion and the cookies. It almost makes me retroactively offended by all the stuff he did on HQ.

Oh, you should be. That was rampant exploitation so the man at Disney could have a Latin accent because mine was-A cartoon character. Because I'm Levatard. Dan Levatard doesn't-We can go in the back here. Dan Levatard is over here with Jeremy Taché in the Americanized version of the Cube, and we need to go get At least I knew what that sound was. We need to go get the cartoon accent. Let's get that. Let's rent Daddy's voice.

Tony, behind the counter. Tony, you work there now.

Behind the counter here. Tony, nice. I'm basically almost part owner of this place.

Tony, I love the freedom you have in That's the trust you have in that kitchen. Let's tour. There's the panko mantequilla.

That's the good stuff. All you got to do is throw it on the grill. It hits the grill right there. Beautiful.. They hate cameras. Tenemos aquí pastelita de guayaba. No, guayaba no. That's my favorite.

They're little meat patties.

Guayaba y queso. Espinaca tenemos. Y de coco ahí.. They got all bread here, Dan. Are you a bread chaser? Because they have them right here, dude.

Well, that's the good stuff, right? If we're going to dip anything in coffee, that soaked in butter, that's the Cuban experience.

It's good stuff. Is it breaking down Elijah Serrat versus OJ Frederic? Probably not, but it's something. Caine's Insight.

I mean, you can get that with D Money over there. But D Money is not going to break down Banco Montequilla because he's vegan.

I love this. Tony's got run in the kitchen. People don't like cameras. No, Tony, how That's where it is. Tony, tell me this. If you had to guess how many people there speak English.

This is more of a tourist location, so I'd say maybe half of the people here speak English because this one's on Gaiocho, so there's a lot of tourist walkabouts. But there's one that's on Miller. That one does not have any people that speak English because I went to that one on Saturday. After I played basketball, I get some croqueticas and zapatalitos.

But those people would also let you just walk into the kitchen. But those people would also let you walk into their kitchen and just wander around.

Easily. Easily. Easily. Obviously, it's harder for me to do it with the.... Look at this. Lojudse..

. Ask her if she thinks the canes are going to win.

Yeah, let's get some predictions.

Thank you.

Ask if she thinks the canes are going to win.

Excuse me, el lunes.

There we go. She thinks we're going to win.

The guy with the Hurricane Sweater. Canes, my 50.

She also says that Mark Fletcher is exceptional picking up the Blitz.

Oh, my God. The rose is giving me croqueticas here.

What other advantages does Miami have What are the advantages does Miami have?

No, I was talking to Mike. We got to exploit number 67, that right tackle.

She said strong D-line play. That's what I said.

It's lining up Mesadora and Bane on the same right side. That's what it is. You count on the development of Marquise Lightfoot on the other side to collapse that pocket. Make Mendoza hold on to the ball. He is prone to mistakes. This is a guy that can turn the ball over, Dan.

Tony, can you tell me what I have to do to repair my relationship with Miami? You guys have been trying to help me for a couple of days. You told me, Dan, you're not welcome over at Columbus. They're not about what you're about. And I was blind to it. I'm like, What do you mean they're not about it? And I'm like, Dan, stop being ignorant. Their politics and your politics, they don't combine. But No, I'm just doing a sports show over here, right? We're all in on the same joke. No? No?

No.

Yeah, no, we are. Again, I'm trying to get around to all the different places that people would be boots on the ground where regular people would be. Obviously, we call George Sedano, Hollywood. Dan's a bit Hollywood himself, right? He's got a little bit of a bubble of Hollywood people that he hangs around. He's not really in these streets. He's not on Coral Way, Ilano Ventido. He's not here at Party Cake Bakery on Calleocho. He's not here. There's no veneer that Dan could put on to be more Miami if he's not actually in the streets. It's been 30 years since he's been in a bar fight with a beer bottle of Bird Road. That was tough. Again, I love you like a father figure, Dan. Watch out here from Gladys. I love you like a father figure, Dan, but damn, we got to get you out of these streets, dude.

We do. We're trying to repair your reputation in your hometown. I can't believe it's come to this. It's worse than when Pellegrin was happening.

That can't be true. It is worse. Hopping a Discord, pal.

Show them all the birds over here.

That cannot be true.

I'm telling you, your brand amongst Canes fans.

That's a rooster.

Toxic brand.

. They're locked in. Dude, these are real roosters. Look at them all across the street.

Ask them about Serrat versus Frederick. She doesn't know what those...

Yeah, there you go. Get Rose to chase the roosters.

Rose, you're there to talk.

She doesn't know that some of these roosters are- Rose, you're there to document the television, not to make the news.

We need to go into the environments and allow the things to be as they are. We are in We are in the wild, and we can't just be making television out there. Tony, we'll check in with you in a second. Just real quick before I let you go, though. Chris, are you aware of what La Casa de los Trucos is? Because I have been there within the last 18 months. This will not surprise you guys.

Surprises nobody.

I am aware, but tell Zaz.

No, so you're not aware. Okay, so just, Tony, real quick, tell people. I know you did a Tony's tonight on one of these. No, that is a rooster. That's not a sound effect. Chris isn't doing that.

He's not that good. No, he's there. He doesn't like that I'm in his turf right now. No, he doesn't. He's right down there. He's in the bushes right there. He doesn't like that I'm on his turf. Let's size him up.

Look at this guy.

This guy's a little dirty here.

Size him up. Let's see what agility he has.

This guy's a little dirty over here to the All right, get out of there.

Leave them alone.

He's got good agility.

It's their environment, not yours.

Yeah, we're scouting.

But go ahead and explain La Casa de los Trucos, and then I'm going to send you over there because I need a report from over there.

Okay, yeah. Casa de los Trucos is basically like, imagine the original party city, right? They had every costume, every gag gift. No wonder Dan likes it. There's actually an old witch. There's an old witch as the-Similar to play things. As the mascot with the long nose. No, not at all. Not at all. This is not... Thank you. This is a Halloween store.

It's not a sex store. This is a Halloween store.

No, I mean, maybe if he has the right people, there may be something in the back that could equate for that. But right now, it is probably the oldest costume store in Miami, at least. I don't know if any place older than Casa Lo Truco.

All right, let's go get the history over there.

Get the rooster alive, Mike.

All right, get out of here.

Bring the rooster with you.

Hold on. Let's see how many. We got 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, six. We had seven roosters just hanging out here.

Look, more over there. Look, across the street. Rose. Rose. Look, there are roosters across the street.

Why did they cross the road?

Rose is so interesting. Exactly right. That's what I was about to say, Mike. She doesn't know that about probably 60% of these roosters have hands and will peck because they've probably been bred to fight.

Claus, get out of there. They're I saw one with claws.

Half of them got razor.

They all have claws. Look, man, those birds have been protecting that area of a store that's got a great dumpster because there's Monte Guia and Bung back there. That's their family. Get out of their neighborhood. That's a bad neighborhood. Get out of there.

Bad bird neighborhood.

No, it's a bad Miami neighborhood. Get out of there. Go across the street to the Lacoste of the Trucos. Leave the birds alone. Thank you. I will continue to get advice for you because I am guilty as charged on where it is that you guys are accusing me of more unpopular than when the Pellgrant stuff was happening, which I did not report. When you tell me that, I am guilty as charged on a bubble because I have totally checked out of social media in a way that has helped my head because the last time all of this happened to me 30 years ago, you guys laugh at a beer of the chin. That's funny. No, it was terrifying. It was in my 20s, and the University of Miami programs fans hated me because I was doing journalism around the school. So it was a hard thing. It was a hard time. I got battered in my 20s when I wasn't old enough to know what was happening to me.

You got to get back on social media. There's some wild stuff going on.

Yeah, dude.

I am blissfully unaware of what it is that's happening with me reputationally, that I would be seen as somehow... You think I'm nationally seen as anti-Miami hurricanes?

I think our show is, largely. We've got me as window dressing. Stunner.

I'm telling you, man. Consider me stunned. I'll show you my algorithm. There's some stuff happening.

Consider me stunned. It's mostly boob- It's mostly boob- You You're absolutely right then. Bubble as charged. I was blissfully unaware until now that however it is that we've been doing the show would risk any unpopular when everyone knows everyone nationally has been presented a figure in me who has always been pro-Miami, and nowhere outside of this market would I have a reputation that would be seen by anybody as anti-Miami. It would only and could only be in this market.

It's sad. Sad to see what's become of you. Conversely, though, I am right in high. People love me in the streets. Happy New Year, everybody. 2026 is already getting off to an incredible start because you want to know how I rang in the New Year? It was with a bunch of friends in a Dallas hotel lobby bar ordering a bunch of Miller lights because that's how you do it. That's how you make special memories. Miller light has been by my side in many special football memories this year, and hopefully, we get to write a few more memories with Miller light. Some of my most legendary moments have started that exact same way. A buddy's house, a lobby bar, a game, no big plan. And then you crack open a Miller light, you take a sip, and you look around, and you immediately recognize that you made the right call. Legendary moments start with Miller Lite. Great taste, 96 calories. Go to millerlite. Com/dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Light pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3.

2 carbs per 12 ounces.