Transcript of Local Hour: Where You Pee, You're Family

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Today's episode is sponsored by DraftKings. Stay tuned because you'll hear more about DraftKings and all it has to offer throughout the show. Draftkings, the Crown is yours. Hello, everybody. It's Izzy Gutierrez. I think you guys know I am very much. I think you guys know here anyway, that I'm very much not somebody who likes to ruffle any feathers, don't like to make any waves, just want to fit in and keep things moving, right?

Yeah, sure.

So given that I'm here on a Friday and Stugatz is here, I don't want to interrupt or do anything different than the Lazy River that is expected via the Stugatz Hosting Show, right?

Yeah.

Here's my problem with the Lazy River, though, and I don't know if anybody else has seen this.

You have a problem with the Lazy River?

Fedra is being ruffled now.

Here we go. It has been your five minutes. Wow.

He didn't reinvent the wheel. It's the actual Lazy River, though. It's not the Lazy River of this show because I saw something. I saw a reel lately, and it's probably not true. But this gentleman was trying to prove that the smell that we grew up remembering public pools of, like that heavy chlorine smell or the one that you go to a water park these days, is not just water with the heavy chlorine. It's water with heavy chlorine with ample amounts of urine in it. That's the only way it gets that smell, because he did two. He did one bucket with just the same level of chlorine and water and another with that same level of chlorine in water, but with a cup full of urine in it. One smelled like absolutely nothing, and the other one smelled like a public pool. I have not been to a pool since then because it is so gross. I know it's maybe the chlorine doing its job, but I still don't love the idea of that person right next to me might be urinating at this very moment, and I have no idea if it's going to reach me before that chlorine does its thing.

I mean, it's the whole point of the chlorine being in there, isn't it? It is, but it's also the whole point of the toilet being up outside of the pool, so you don't have to do it inside of the pool. I guarantee you, Lazy River, Lazy as in the title, people aren't getting up to go to the bathroom.

What's the process here if you're the guy doing this experiment? You're just in your bathroom, pissing in a cup, and your wife or your friend, whoever is like, What is that for? And you're like, Oh, it's for science. Then you take your little piss cup outside and you pour it in a bucket.

I mean, I do that every time I go take my labs at a doctor's office. It's not that strange. It's a little warm. Not that strange.

Science is for everybody. Everybody can do science at home. Just so we saw like this.

Are you guys always embarrassed when you do the urine test at the doctor's office and you have to walk it back through the hallway?

Wait, oh my God, Steve God. I was at the doctor a couple of weeks ago and someone spilled their piss all over the ground. I saw it happen. Oh, it was terrible. The woman was handing it to the lab person, and then someone walked by and bumped her, and it spilled everywhere. It was so uncomfortable. The woman was like, It's all right. I'll clean it up. They're like, No, it's okay. We got it. Then I saw her walk back over to her husband, and she's like, I just spilled my pee all over the floor.

Did it smell like a public pool?

I didn't smell anything, but everyone in the waiting room was just sitting there like, Oh, no. Oh, my God. It's everywhere.

You're supposed to put a cap on that thing. I get embarrassed, not necessarily because when I hand it over, it's still warm, but I get embarrassed depending on how dark my urine is because it's like, oh, this person didn't know. They're judging you? Yeah. Drink some water. Drink some water for crying out loud. This guy might be an alcoholic. By the way, it's perfect with a Lazy River flow. The first topic is toilet talk? Yes. Around without Dan. Yes. He pulled his hair out, by the way.

I have used a Lazy River as my personal toilet, so I apologize to you, especially the one at the Atlantis. I mean, you're on a Lazy You got to go. You got to go.

The bathrooms are for number two. You see the bathrooms up there, they're for number two. You know everybody else is doing number one. It's part of the charm of a Lazy River, of a public pool. You know that once you walk in, you're family.

No. Yes. That is not how people are made family.

If me and you are at a public pool, just know we're family.

It's the new Olive Garden slogan. If we're at a swim-up bar together. When you keep your family.

If we're at a swim-up bar together, and me and you've been drinking beers and hanging and none of us have gotten up in two hours, guess what?

We're family. Now, I'm done. We're family. Stu did tell me something about a Lazy River I was unaware of. You said something about it's not always so lazy, right?

Well, it's not. Izzy was asking, Do you want to go the Lazy River route today, or do you want me to come in hot with something? I said, Listen, the point of the Lazy River, especially the one that we always refer to, the one at the Atlantis, Roy and I were on that together. We had a blast. Oh, yeah.

We really did. So much fun.

I think Billy was there, There, right? Yeah, Billy was there. I think Mike Ryan was with us. That is a different Lazy River because that Lazy River, it's not a true Lazy River in the sense of you just go around very slowly. That river has rapids, that river has waves. And what I said to you is when you're on the Lazy River, you don't fight the Lazy River. You let the river take you where it wants to take you, even if it takes you to big waves and rapids, which in your case is a hot take. Right.

And so this isn't a huge rapid. This one of those, oh, like you think you're in the Pirates of the Caribbean, right?

The mini drop.

Yeah, it's just like, oh, and the kids get scared, but then it stops. That's what this is right here, because I am so ticked off that last night I did something that I hate doing and I've been doing it a lot lately, is giving up on a game and calling it a night. Now, that might be because I have to get up at 6:00 in the morning a lot more often with this show. But last night, I gave up on game one of the W NBA Finals between the Minnesota Lynx and the New York Liberty because the Lynx had been fighting back the whole game, creeping up and then falling behind, creeping up and then falling behind. And then with about four or five minutes left in the fourth quarter, they're down 12. And I'm like, You know what? This is it. I love Nafisa Collier, but she is not going to be able to make this comeback happen all by herself. I'm going to shut this thing down and go to bed. That's the worst. Isn't it? Yes. And then this morning, It's not until I get to the Brightline station and I'm looking up and I see sports centers showing highlights of past WMBA Finals game winners.

And I'm like, Well, that's irrelevant. Did they just get bored with this blowout and started showing previously? The good games? And then I realized that the links came all the way back, including a four-point play to get them to that place, to get them to overtime, and then won it in overtime against the super team Liberty that's ready to win this thing. And I was so ticked off.

Once you see them going with historic game winners, you start realizing, I missed something last night.

Immediately.

Well, I do have a stat for you. The Lynx were the first team in WMBA postseason history to win a game after trailing by 15 plus points in the final five minutes of regulation. That's from ESPN stats and info. And during last night, teams were 0 and 183 in that scenario.

So it was 15 points.

It was the first time out of the last 183 times that it happened. So I don't blame you for turning it off. I actually happened to be walking my dog at that point in the game, and I was watching it on my phone. You were awake? I was awake. I stayed up for it. And you're right. You take the dog out and you're like, Should I even bother putting it on my phone? This game feels like it's over. But I did. And this guy walks past me. He's like, What's the score? And I was like, The links are up right now, 84, 83. But Brianna Stewart's shooting free throws. And we stood there on the corner and just watched the last two seconds of regulation. She choked. She missed her second free throw, and then it went to overtime. It was, man, she wants to win a Championship with New York so bad. She looked so, so pissed after that.

I don't even know if it's just that. I think they should have run away with this thing. They should have kept giving Jonquil Jones the ball, finding a way to keep her in the paint because she was absolutely dominant. And instead, you got Brianna Stewart constantly going up against the WMBA Defensive Player of the Year and taking bad shots. And that's how Minnesota stayed in the game. It was just bad decisions, in my opinion, from the Liberty.

And also just really good defense from the Lynx. I think they forced them to take bad shots. And they also forced them... Earlier in the game, the Liberty were doing a really good job of extending their offensive possessions by getting big offensive rebounds and staying on offense. But then as the Lynx were able to start cutting away the lead and also honing in on defense, it really changed the game. The Lynx were able to get into their groove, which is the quick offensive transition game. Nafisa Collier is a great defensive player, but also she does everything. Her footwork is amazing in the paint. She's very quick. She's everywhere on the court at once. And once she was able to find her groove, Courtney Williams hit some huge three-pointers. She had that four-point play you're talking about. That was the game right there, even though they ended up being five minutes more after that. And I thought the Lynx defense was huge in the second half, and ultimately is what forced Liberty to not really shoot well at all in the rest of the game. I think they were only 43% from the field last night, which is not good.

The Lynx shot a lot better, even though when the game started, it didn't look like they were going to get as many shots.

I think it's amazing how great this game was, but I think it's even more amazing that the first thing Stu Got said about the WMBA that wasn't about Kaitlyn Clarke this year was Stuart choked.

Well, she did. I mean, you have what you want, right? If you're the Liberty, you have the best player in the WMBA, the best player on your team. On the foul with a chance to win the game, and she misses it.

You're in your pocket here, man.

That's a joke job. Thank you.

There was a play where I was convinced that she was just out of it. She drove after a closeout, and there was a cutter on the baseline. It wasn't Jones. I think it was another big off the bench, just cutting wide open baseline. And her face is staring right at her, but she pitches it out to a three pointer, and that one missed. I was like, Stuey looks like she's, like you said, trying to do too much. I thought, man, it was interesting because the Liberty, basically their game plan was just offensive rebound the heck out of the ball and get more shots. They had almost, I think, 19 more shots and still found a way to lose that game.

I would say I would one up you, Steu God. I wouldn't say Steu choked. I would say the entire team choked. Everyone choked.

Wow, I like it.

They choked. I mean, they had an 18.

You've up the ante.

They all choked. They had an 18-point lead in game one at home. The Liberty have one of the best home courts in the WMBA. They had 18,000 fans there last night.

Jason Sudeckis was there.

And thank you for bringing up Jason Sudeckis because enough of him. Okay? Wow. Enough of Jason Sudeckis. Sudeckis, go. Too much Sudeckis. They're showing me Sudeckis going in and out of commercial. They're showing Sudeckis after big shots. They're showing him swag surfing. I don't need to see that much Sudeckis on the court. I really don't. Enough Sudeckis.

It was too much Sudeckis. The only time I saw him, he was clearly jumping into somebody else's video on their phone to make that person seem so popular because, Oh, I'm sitting next to Jason Sudeckis. I thought that it was a lot of look at me, Louie. I don't know if I'm tired of him yet, but it's not like they had a second best celebrity there. Who was the other person?

Spike Lee was right there, courtside. He's literally- Everyone's tired of Spike.

Aubrey was there? Aubrey Plaza was there.

I don't think they showed her on ESPN one time, by the way. They put her on the Jumbotron. Rick Ross did a halftime thing with Ellie last night. There were tons of stars there. Okay, I'm sure Megan and Sue were there. They're at every game. I don't know. I didn't see them, but they were probably there. Enough Jason Sudeckis.

Can we talk... I mean, everybody was there, but you see that Holly Roe interview? She did an entire walk all the way to the locker room with Jon Cole Jones after the game. The access, I'm so jealous of this WMBA access. It's out of control. But I think I'm the one who choked the most last night. Really? Because you went to sleep? Yes. Because look, I've watched the NBA long enough to realize that no lead is safe, so why would it be different in the WMBA? And I've been doing that a lot lately. I did it Colorado Baylor. That was the Hale Mary game. And Billy, I did it Liberty FIU. Oh, my God.

Well, that's a game worthy of going to sleep early.

Well, I did theWhat are you talking about? Sorry. I turned it on right before overtime. It was two nights ago. I should have Tuesday. Did we not know this?

They almost handed them their first loss at their stadium.

Yeah, Liberty Biberty was just out there killing it.

It would have been a signature win. And then what happened? Mike McEntire. Well, they lost.

They had another big fumble, right, Billy?

Well, last drive, they had a fumble to end the game.

Why weren't you on the call? Are you not traveling for games?

No, I'm not traveling. I've heard there's a lot of logistics and red tape that A lot of politics. Well, you said it, not me.

Were you taking notes?

I know you guys like to make fun of me, but I do prepare for these games. So yes, I watch the game. Who makes fun of you? I don't make fun of you. No, I know.

I've never made fun of you.

That's fine.

What are you doing? What?

He watched the Liberty game like all Liberty fans in the corner, just watching.

I don't think anybody thinks Billy is this person that he's made fun of all the time and with good reason. Maybe they don't listen to your analysis all the time, but when I hear Billy Gill analysis, I think that is fire, and that's the reason why you are... What are you now in the rankings?

The international- Well, there hasn't been one in a couple of years. The guy stopped doing it for some reason. One would assume you move up in the rankings, but who knows?

Yeah, but I would take it. I think you were fourth the last time he did it. If he never does it again, you end as fourth.

I'm with you, right? Yes.

I mean, what's wrong with fourth?

Room for improvement.

You're not on the metal stand, but you're close.

Fourth is a good place because you can always move up. Right. Can we talk about the text that we got yesterday?

With Kostas?

Kostas texted you?

I do want to say this. We as a show, okay? We as a show should apologize to Bob Kostas.

Well, what happened yesterday?

Bob Bob Kostas is a legend. Billy, usually- Billy?

As a show- Time out.

You don't even know what he's going to say yet.

There's a lot of caveats happening right now and a lot of backpedaling from one, two, gots.

I'll let Billy explain in a second, but Billy often gets in trouble around here because it's guilty by association with me. Yesterday, I was the only one who said a single nice thing on this show about Bob Kostas, and somehow I am caught in the middle of a little dispute with Lebitard and Billy Gill.

I didn't do anything. Well, first of all, I wasn't even going to bring this up. This wasn't the text I was talking about, but now we're here.

Oh, this wasn't the text. Now we got two texts to talk about. I guess we have to talk about this. But yesterday, you effectively said that America does not enjoy listening to Bob Kostas anymore?

No, what I said was that social media was complaining a lot about the game prior, and people were not happy with how he was doing it. I was just reporting the facts. That's all I was doing. Then I think what happened is then it was sent to a poll on Twitter, and I think that that's how word got to Mr. Kostas.

Yeah, and the poll question was at Leventard show on Twitter In grade school, did Bob Kostas make the other kids call him Robert?

That's a funny poll, though. Inocuous? There's something wrong with that.

What was on the text? If we were already ticked them off, we might as well.

I think that's how things were put on his radar.

There was a call, I believe. Dan screenshotted a call from Bob to Dan and sent it to me and Billy.

Did he answer the question?

Did he answer the phone? What was this call like? Dan said, I knew this was coming. Billy said, How? I told Dan, I said, I want him calling the World Series, mistakes and all.

Same.

Yeah, that's what I said.

No, now is your time to double down. You've got him on the line. Maybe you can make a change.

Billy asked, What did Bobby Q want?

Robert Q.

I wrote back, You guys okay? He said, Dan responded, As if you guys don't know, God bless football. I said, So I should book him when you get back?

I don't think you should have read all those text if I'm going to be honest. It was private conversations, man.

So it wasn't even a-Oh, yeah, private conversations.

Okay.

It was a God bless football deep dive into the Bob Kostas mistakes, or was this somewhere else? Because there's no reason. Why wouldn't you be talking Bob Kostas on the football?

We didn't. We didn't talk about it. And he was back last night. He did a great job on that call. Yes.

I'm just saying Bob has been very good to the show. He is a legendary voice. I don't care if he makes mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. Lord knows I make a million of them around here. I want to hear that voice on big games, especially baseball games.

And there's some people who are just baseball people. You hear the voice and you think, Oh, okay. Even if, like Tony, you're not watching a lot of baseball, if you hear that voice, you're like, Maybe this is a big enough game where I'm going to watch it. And that happened to me the other day. But then it was almost the first thing I heard him say where I was just like, Okay, maybe this is too much baseball for me or too baseball-y for me. Because all right, so what are we? There's seven of us here. Raise your hand if you know how many umpires do a Major League baseball playoff game. Six. I said raise your hands. Oh, I'm sorry. I apologize. He's got one. He's got one, Jeremy. All right, so that's three out of what? Three out of the seven. That's not most of us. And what he said on the broadcast was, as most of you know, there are six umpires in an MLB playoff game. And I was like, I'm not one of those people, and I work in sports, so I doubt that most of America knows that there are six empires in a game.

But Billy knew it.

I know that they add one down. It's fairly standard. The lines, yeah. It's in case there's any question.

You didn't raise your hand if it's fairly standard.

Well, I was trying to play the game. Just playing along for you.

I also think you, River. He probably got the note that he was talking down to the audience too much because he does so much teaching during his broadcast. That's careful, Tread lightly. No, I think it's a good thing. To me, I've always enjoyed Acostus's broadcast because he does a lot of explaining things that he knows from years of the game. He was someone who replaced Vin Scully. He knows all of these stories, and he's constantly explaining the game to people. But I imagine, potentially, based off some of this social media backlash that there's been, it was, Hey, Bob, you're talking down too much. So his way of countering that was, Well, as most of you know, here's this thing I'm describing. Because rather than, Hey, for those of you who are newly initiated, because there's this really fine line in playoff baseball of, Hey, there's two fan bases who have been passionate about their individual teams tuning in. It's why Joe Buck said, no matter who you root for, you hate me because I'm supposed to be objective over both teams. And Kostas, while obviously pulling for the Yankees because that's the story that's better for baseball in that broadcast.

That's a wild act. You're going to be Indians. You're going to be watch the games. Questioning the professionalism of- Roy, wasn't it Doc Emmerich, who was always like, for all the young hockey fans out there, if you're on the...

He would teach a lesson? Yeah. Do that, Bob. Do a I'm going to start off by saying, In case you don't know.

Not as most of you know, because then it makes you feel like an idiot if you don't know.

But Doc got a different way. He would do the same thing, but he wouldn't talk down to you.

I know. That's what I'm saying. He was the best.

I'm not saying that Bob does, by the way. I'm not either. I am not saying that Bob Koss is doing it.

We could all be more like Doc. What's our official stance on this? I love him. It seems like you guys are throwing wild accusations at Bob Koss, which is super rude and disrespectful. You give yours first, Billy.

And disrespectful. You go first.

What? Tell us what you're doing. Well, no, I'm just here to keep things moving today. I'll tell you what I think. You did say that he pulled for the Indians in '97, and I agree with you on that. Well, that's a fact, Jack. He was rooting against the Marlins.

Here's what it sounds like. It sounds like to me that Bob has overheard way too many people say, Hey, you're cheering for the other team, as Jeremy just said, just matter of factly, that he was clearly going for the Yankees because that was the better story. I think Bob is just over all of it. I think he's in the IDGAF.

Yeah, but he's clearly not. No, but I was going to ask you, when do you over Billy Gill or me just poking fun at you or the fans on social media? You're Bob Kostis. You have had a legendary run. How are you not confident in yourself and your abilities to broadcast games where you're still at this age, this many years into the industry? How could you be impacted by what people, strangers, are saying about how it is you do your job?

That's why I was shocked to see that he reached out yesterday. I know. He's just 72. Who cares?

You're You won.

Guys, if you look up self-serius in the dictionary, there's a face that looks back at you. Leventards? There's two faces that look back at you. Oh, no.

What are we going to do? You're one of them bigger than the other.

One guy being upset about things like this when he acts a certain way during broadcast and we're surprised? Right.

Well, I mean, look, unless we have him on, if we can get him on by Monday, I think it's probably not as serious as ever making a video.

I'm saving cost as for when Dan gets back.

That's when it should be. Yeah, you're right. That's right. Dan's gone next week. I forgot about that. Well, spoiler alert. Is he?

Are we not allowed to say that?

He's gone? How dare you? I didn't know that.

I thought he was here today. I feel like we keep any programming I know it's a secret, and that's been the MO here, and I don't know why.

Wow. Okay. So he's out. I booked Bob for Monday.

Just you and him. We'll get to get him to sit in his chair.

Where's Danny?

Where's Danny?

A little FaceTime action.

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Hell, yeah, brother. This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugats.

So this Lazy River will probably hit a top five. Steve's got a top five, drives. I'm not sure what drives you're talking about, but I really hope George Bush is on that list.

I didn't think about that, actually. Oh, am I? I have to change the list. I am wondering because you got me thinking about a time where I fell asleep, but I missed the ending of a classic game. I'm wondering if that's happened to anyone else because that Monday night legendary Dolphin Jet Game.

The fake spike, Zamorino.

No, different one. This is when the Dolphins were up big first half. I went to sleep. There was no way the Jets were coming back, and they won a game. I think it was Jumbo Elliott who caught a big shutdown pass, the go-ahead countdown pass for the Jets. I fell asleep at halftime. I missed one of the great comebacks, and maybe the only great comeback in Jets history. I missed it.

I was very upset. I would argue that most people probably slept through Miami's big comeback only six days ago against Cal. That on until 2:00 in the morning on the East Coast.

I did. A playoff game, though.

It was only October, but I fell asleep before there was a need for a comeback.

How about that?

So when the game kicked off?

Yes.

I think the most annoying One for me was what was that Alabama-Auburn game where the guy ran back the missed field goal? The kick six? That was on 6:00 PM. I know. It was one of those- Little nap?

No, that was four, I feel like. That was early in the day.

My monster take after that game was, why The entire college football games so damn long. The CBS 3:30 end at eight o'clock.

They're getting even longer. I don't have the data to back this up yet, but I'm telling you, the noon ABC game and the 3:30 ABC and CBS games, they are longer this season than ever.

I used to blame Vern Lundquist, but you can't even blame him anymore. I don't know who you can blame.

Probably Kostas.

The commercial breaks.

Well, Stu came in complaining because I guess the other day, Lucy was on for a second, and he couldn't play his Lucy or Goosy game. Yes. And so now Lucy's not here, and we're trying to transition to see if we can play this game with Jess, but Jess's name makes it a little bit more difficult. Lucy, Goosy. Jess or No?

Wow. Oh, that's a good...

I didn't think of that. Unvisible, Jeremy. How did you not offer that earlier?

I didn't know it was a thing we were talking about.

In Miami, Jess or No is the perfect one. Do you want to know what Studio Gats came up with? Or was it Billy? Who came up with Yes or Jess?

I think it was Jess. Jess or No is so much better.

You've had this name your whole life, and you couldn't come up with Jess or No. You've been in Miami for a few years.

My last name arrives with banana. That's all I've got. Banana Banan. Sour cream.

So are we going to play this now that it's got the perfect name, Jess or no. We don't have to confuse her and say that Jess is a yes. Wait, Jess is a no now because Jess is definitely yes?

Yes, we're going to play it in just a second. I just got to find my questions. Just give me a second.

It's the Lazy River. I mean, you don't exactly have your phone on you at all times.

We can do it at Any point.

Well, I didn't know you were going to it right away. I'm glad that you did because I want to play the game, but I just got to find my questions for this week's game. I know that's okay. You got to stall.

Yeah, I know. Izzy, by the way, I like your sweatshirt today. It reminds me of all the pictures I saw last night of people seeing the northern lights outside, which, by the way, we got none of in Miami. I think people as far south as Missouri were able to see the Northern lights. There were Northern lights in New York City and Boston and Chicago, and I went outside and just the same old sky down here. It made me very sad.

What is that supposed to be? Just green lights across the sky? Is that what that is?

Aurora Borealis, I believe it's called. That's an actor. It's the green. There was an electromagnetic storm last night or something.

Was it something that it's supposed to change your life when you see it? Or it's just like- It's cool.

The sky's pink. You don't need to ask me too many follow questions about it. Science wasn't my best class.

Just the people that marvel at all these things, I'd rather just watch fireworks. To me, that's more amazing. They put on a- What? Yeah.

Seen one in cinema.

The light's in the sky, right?

So you didn't care that we missed the eclipse, too?

Not at all. I have a friend who travels to all the locations, whatever, the prime locations for the eclipse, and he puts out these amazing videos. For three seconds, I'm like, That's pretty cool. Then I never think about it again.

We glossed over with Tony. He said, I found the questions, by the way. But he said, You've seen one, you've seen them all. I agree with that.

You've seen one, you've seen them all. I'd rather see that, though, than the new drone shows replacing fireworks. I want to sense a danger. Have you ever had a drone come and visit you or no? What? That would be dangerous. What?

Like, visit you to kill you?

Like, be in the drone formation. Like, army drones? What are you talking about? All of a sudden, go your way because they malfunction. You want fire.

Wait, has this happened to you?

No, but I'm saying it's happened to people before. What? Mark Anthony tried to catch a drone, cut up his hand.

What was he doing?

Trying to catch it.

Why were you trying to catch a drone?

Because somebody had flown the drone onto stage, and he was trying to grab it, and then it cut his hand.

Does he not know how those things work? It's a mini helicopter.

Yeah, it doesn't.

So our drone Is it dangerous?

It could be.

If you try to catch him.

Why would you try to catch a drone during a drone show? Because if it's flying towards you and you're trying to stop it. Why is it flying towards you? Because it malfunctions. Guys, just like, fireworks, malfunction. Why are How do fireworks malfunction? Can anybody answer that for me? What? I don't understand the question. Let's explain the question first. It's very simple, Billy. You ready? How do fireworks malfunction? Nobody has an answer. You're asking me about how drones, how do fireworks malfunction? It's gun powder. The canister could fall. It could be cracked. Electronics are perfect. They've never had an issue ever before. What are we arguing about? I don't know. You want to argue today. I don't want to argue about anything. I'm just trying to make a point.

Here's the point. Drones are dangerous. Don't catch them with your hand, Mark Anthony. Jess. Okay, Jess or no is the game.

That's Trevor Barro about them. The original point was, if you've seen one fireworks show, you've seen them all.

That's all I was agreeing with with Tony. Thank you. Do you like fireworks? You don't like fireworks. They're okay.

I've seen them all.

You've seen one, you've seen them all. I've seen every firework that's ever happened before. I have a situation where I have two young daughters, and they go to sleep early. For fourth of July, I bought fireworks to do. One of them was being put to sleep because you had to wait until nine o'clock for it to get dark. It's late for them, but I kept my eldest one up. But I thought, You know what? I'm going to be a nice husband and dad. My wife's putting my daughter to sleep. I'm going to save fireworks so that we can show them the fireworks or whatever. I'm not thinking, Hey, it gets dark the same time every night, so I'm just going to run into the same problem every time, right? I just have half a box of fireworks that has been sitting next to my computer in my office, and I'm trying to figure out what to do with them, because now it's October, so I can't just set off fireworks in October. People are going to think I'm crazy. Start a new tradition. Why would I just go out into the front of my house in October and start setting off fireworks?

You want to take off some give them out for Halloween.

If only FIU beat Liberty, you could have set them off on Wednesday.

You know what I'm going to do? Wait until New Year's. Well, no. Fiu has... That's a great idea. Fiu has a string of four straight Tuesday games, so they have another one coming up on this Tuesday. Another road game. If they win, maybe I should go out into the street and set off the fireworks. It'll be odd.

What fireworks are we talking about here? Is those the kinds you buy, like the Windixie and the big plan. You just stand around it and watch it.

Yeah. That's about it. It just makes a lot smoke and noise, really.

How is that really entertaining or celebrating anything? Is that going to be?

Well, I'm just three years old. They are entertained by that. What do you want me to do? Get the ones that shoot into the sky? That's how you have accidents.

Roman cameras. Yeah, of course.

That's what I was trying to tell you. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. And drones have accidents, too. Glad we cleared it up. Yeah. We're on the same page here. I don't know why you were coming at me.

Don't point fireworks or drones at people. I think that's where we landed.

Well, no. That's safe. But which do you think is more likely to cause an accident, a drone or a firework? A firework. But drones, if you've ever had a drone beelining at you because whatever the mechanism is isn't working, it's probably terrifying. Imagine if you have a hundred of them doing a show and one of them straight goes at your-It's an epidemic.

It's not good.

I don't know if you heard about this. Well, counterpoint. Jpp lost his fingers. Mark Anthony, fine. I don't know if he's fine. We have to check what happened to his hand.

I think he might have got you there.

I found the question perfect.

What are they What is the- College football.

College football. Sure.

Should we pay- Did she have to answer these in a Miami accent, too, since the Jess or no was in Miami?

No, I'm not going to do that.

It's Jess or no, right? Is that how we're doing it? We play a game on God bless football every Monday with Lucy called Lucy or Goosy, and we just throw in a bunch of college football topics, and we let Lucy go. I want to do this. I haven't had the chance to play it yet, and so I'm going to do it with Jess. Jess, Alabama could still lose one more game and make the playoffs. Jess or no?

Jess.

You got to expand a little bit. That's right.

Oh, I'm allowed to keep talking? Yeah, of course.

Lazy River day.

If they lost an SEC Championship game, but they won the remaining games on their schedule, I think they could still make it. I don't think that they're completely out of it. So the rest of their schedule, they still have to play Tennessee, Missouri, LSU, and Oklahoma. Those are the three ranked teams. Wait, Tennessee, Mizzou, LSU, and Oklahoma. That's four teams. But Missouri probably won't stay in the top 25, if I had to guess. They looked pretty bad against Texas A&M. Oklahoma, if they lose against Texas. But those are still quality opponents. I think if Alabama wins out and then plays in the SEC Championship game against Georgia, again, say, and loses- It's safe to say both participants in an SEC Championship game in a 12-team playoff, more than likely going to get in, right? Yeah, I would say so unless something really weird happens and the rest of the field looks really good. I think two loss, Alabama still has a good shot.

Small asterisk, it was Enrique Iglesias, not Mark Anthony.

Oh, boy.

That thing.

Can you sing one song from each so I can differentiate or no? Because I feel like I mixed those two together. Thank you.

The other side of that, Stugatz, if Alabama loses another regular season game, but then they still play in that SCC Championship game and they win, they're automatically going to be in. So yeah, I think so. Jess, Jess, Jess.

Not yet, Jess.

It did require a skin graft and surgery to reconstruct his broken middle finger. There you go.

Where do you get the skin from?

I mean, the Hollywood reporter does not have the details on that.

Too many follow-up, is he?

Well, I mean, it's probably the buttocks, I'm just saying.

Inner thigh, maybe.

So he still has his finger, though, right? Jpp lost his, correct?

Lossed a couple.

Right, lost a couple, yeah. All right. Yes or no. One of Army or Navy will make the college football playoffs.

Okay. So I saw a stat the other day that Army and Navy have their strength of schedule to start the season. We're both fairly low. So the remaining strength of schedule is, I think it was twice as hard as the first six games have been, something like that. That was on BCF Toys, a website that I love for college football stats and data. People should check it out. So it's possible, especially if they're a ranked conference champion. It's very possible. I would say no, because two teams verse the field, you always pick the field.

I don't like the Army Navy.

Navy's quarterback is Horvath. He's really good. He's the highest rated quarterback right now on PFF.

You're entitled to your opinion. I think both teams should get in. I do.

The thing is, they play each other.

It's a two-game. But I think that's after Conference Championship Weekend, and I don't think that will-Spot for the playoff. Actually, I think that that won't count towards the playoff. I need to double-check that, but I think that's an exhibition game, and it's not-Exhibition? I'm pretty sure I read that.

Have they been lying to us the entire time? What do you mean it's an exhibition game?

Is it Is it okay to call that game a war?

I don't know.

I don't know. Who's... It's someone came-Same side, though.

People say, Oh, no, it's not war. You should call it a war, but it's Army Navy.

I bet you the guys on each team, they're not calling that a war. They call it a game. It's insulting to call that war to them.

Unless it's for the playoff.

Then it's a war. The playoff- The stakes are bigger.

The final playoff ranking is announced on December eighth. The Army-Navy game is December 14th. Hold on a second. Then we've got the College Playoff Committee not giving due respect to Army-Navy if they're undefeated to get them into the playoff.

This is going to be a national challenge.

They can't both be undefeated. Right.

I'm saying one of the teams is going to be undefeated.

Someone's going to have to lose something before that.

But it's still going to be a game of significance, and it's not going to matter for the playoff because it's after the playoff teams are selected.

It's still... Okay. Well, there will have been a conference championship before that point.

What if Navy's undefeated?

Then if they're undefeated, that means they've beaten Notre Dame. That means they've won their conference. Yeah, I think that there's a good chance that they make it in. What I'm saying is that- But what if they lose?

It's an exhibition game.

The playoff has already been decided. We already went over this.

What if they win? What happened here is the committee never- It's a big rivalry. Yeah, but what happened is- What if they win? The committee never thought this game would matter. Exactly right. That's what happened.

Where's the respect to the Army and Navy kids?

Exactly.

It's, Thank you for your service. I mean, it's not an exhibition game.

It's an out-of conference game, but it's after the season ends. So I say no, though, because I take the field. What if they win?

Well, regardless of who wins, they always set off fireworks. Do they not?

Giants owner John Mahrer, who also today said he doesn't know how many fingers JPP has.

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