Transcript of Local Hour: The Court Sauntering

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For not being quite ready for what it is that we're doing right now and being off mic. He's doing a bit of arts and crafts right now. Cody, do you want to tell people off mic? Oh, you're going to lean into the mic? This is how it works. This is how it works with Greg Cody. When I want him near the mic, he doesn't do the mic. When I wanted him off mic, he does- The closest he's ever been to the mic. He pulls the mic right to his mouth and does his job totally correctly.

Damn right. I'm multitasking right now, Dan. That's what that's called.

What are you doing?

Well, Zazlo, unfortunately, is wearing a Miami football shirt on a day when Miami basketball deserves every pinnacle in attention. And so I'm creating for him something that is going to remedy that situation.

A different shirt. He's wearing a Miami football shirt that reads simply Miami football with the Adidas logo over it, and you are coming over. We're not on air right now, so you are not video on air, so nobody can see what you're doing. He's walked across the room. As you theatrically do that.

He's now covering up the football.

I like that. The Shadow Show is is not a video.

Is that right? Who can keep track?

But the viewers will have a payoff once we go live.

They will. It doesn't match great, though. It's a good shirt, but the colors are not green and orange. Green, orange, and blue really don't... Green, orange, and masking tape really don't work.

It's my first time wearing this shirt, too.

It's a new shirt. Miami football was celebrated last night, too. Mike Ryan stormed a court, and feloniously-I don't think I stormed.

I just sauntered.

You stood on the outskirts.

No, I definitely was on the court. I said security that was assembled with a human chain that was presumably there to prevent me from going on the court. Hey, can my daughter and I go in? They were like, Go right ahead. I just sauntered on through.

Did you instantly feel old? Because I did that when we beat Duke, what was it, a few years ago, and I was at the game, and I was like, I'll go on the court. I was just like, I'm old.

I guess I would feel old if I were just doing it to make myself happy. I was doing it to make a memory with my daughter, which I did. No, I guess I felt old because I'm a dad.

Well, and you sauntered in a court storm. You can't saunter.

You're supposed to storm. No, nobody stormed.

This is why- This was universally a court sauntering. You're so right about this. It did seem to me more like milling about.

We all collectively like, should we do this? You could see the students were trepidacious to do it because we don't storm the field. Miami football does not do that because Because down here, you'd get shot for it.

Because they have self-respect.

Yeah. And also, they'd shoot us. They straight up would, at least for football. That's something that you can get away with in Appalachia. It's not something that you can do in Miami garden.

Well, let To be clear, okay, during a court storming, do not bring a child like that. A legitimate and real court storming- What about a court sauntering?

Sauntering? It's totally illegal.

That's right. Totally fair. He's a child.

This This is the Dan Levatore Show with the Stugats podcast.

We've had some heaters around here occasionally. Zaz is the one that most recently has had a giant heater where he parlayed the Miami heat getting into a play-in game, into a job. Had a good year last year. Yeah, just a lot of winning that Zaz did. But Mike Ryan is presently doing a great deal of winning. It's not just that he and Chris Cody are GM of the and the battle court cyclones are reigning champions like Inter Miami. Harder for the Panthers to repeat than it is going to be for the cyclones or Inter Miami. I feel like that's one version of winning. But then last night, you get the biggest victory of the year. I think I can say this, they made the tournament last night. Things can happen. I suppose they can get injured because they don't have any depth. They're playing five people and they have to play everybody. But what was evident last night in not being much of a surprise against North Carolina is, oh, look, North Carolina is still young and looks a little bit like students. Whereas Miami is physically... Those are men. Those are physically men out there.

If you can do that to North Carolina and not get tired late. I thought for sure they were going to lose that game in the last five minutes because they played all five guys. They're playing their starters the whole time. I really thought that North North Carolina would wear them down late, but they didn't have the size, the physicality to wear them down.

There were zero players on this roster in late March. Zero. There wasn't a staff. It was just the J. Lucas hire and totally rebuild a basketball program that wasted all the momentum from a final four appearance. And in less than a year, Jay Lucas has a team that is bigger, stronger, more physical than North Carolina, which is a very good team. I'm I'm not saying better, but last night they were. In a couple of months, he just built a roster at a thin air that is getting a signature victory, and in all likelihood, unless they really trip up here down the stretch, puts them in the tournament.

Okay, the refs, so that we know, the refs allowed them to play a physical style of basketball. What ends up derailing this is Reynou in foul trouble. They can't even afford that. Never mind an injury.

We have Sally Altuntaj.

No, they can't.

That guy's a joke from around. What? You're You're a joke. No, no, respectfully.

You're a joke.

Respectfully, we were watching the game.

Be careful. Three minutes.

Choose your words wisely.

My father-in-law was watching the game. He's like, Who's that guy? I'm like, That's Altuntaj.

Sally Altuntaj.

He might be 40 or he might be 18. I'm not 100% sure. He looks like our Vita Sabonis at the end.

Let's play some sound of the fans excited and what was a genuine court milling about. God bless America. God bless Malikai Tony.

God bless That was me. It caught me in an emotional moment. Those are the three things that I love with my whole heart.

Milwaukee.

The UM football team was celebrated last night as well. We've got Mario Cristobal riding his players during an interview. Mike was moved. Were you moved to tears, Mike, during the halftime celebration of this most beloved team of yours?

Yeah, it was a special season, and I wasn't moved to tears, but Good. I've been... Yeah, that would have been... Come on, man. What's up? I'm a red-blooded American male. But I've been sad because we lost. I've been on a heater. Yeah, it was great to see the football program be there, but I still haven't really completely shaken off that loss. But it was good to see a highlight package that firmly established Miami back into relevancy. I don't have to hear, When's the last time Miami was relevant on the football field? And it was cool to celebrate the achievements of last year. And honestly, it It was cool seeing some of these players again. Mario Cristobal, it's hard to get a compliment from Mario Cristobal. Mario Cristobal, after the highlight and trying to pump the crowd up, he was turning the microphone over to Mark Fletcher. He touted Mark Fletcher's achievements, Most Rushing Yards in the History of the College Football Playoff. He's a great player and a better man, which is just... It's very hard to get a compliment from an older Cuban man and from that generation.

Oh, I know. Yes, I was raised by one.

It is a blanket thing a lot of coaches say about the guys.

Yeah, but it's not something Mario Cristobal does.

I'm not saying like, Mark, I think they mean it, but it is a thing you hear.

It's crazy. Like, Mark Fletcher is coming back for his senior year, and with That logo on that helmet after a national championship game. Previous years, the discussion would be, look at these thugs. Look at Mark Fletcher. Look at him being a sore loser. And that wasn't there because everybody, even nationally, when they heard Miami people speak with reverence to Mark Fletcher, they all took our word for it. Mark Fletcher is that dude. He's the unquestioned leader of this team. And then Mark Fletcher took over the mic and essentially said, We're going to finish the job next season. He said they're going to finish? That was a pretty cool pop.

Wow, that's a promise.

He also told Mike at halftime that the University of Miami basketball team was going to win, and Mike believed him just because Mark Fletcher was saying it. And he's in the cult. He's full on in the cult of Yeah, I'm a big Fletcher guy.

I know you're saying you've been heartbroken, you're having a very hard time getting over losing the national championship game. This doesn't qualify as one of those years for you as a fan where you're going to That you shouldn't be upset. You should be looking at it fondly about how amazing it was. When the Panthers lost the Stanley Cup in 2023, I wasn't upset. I mean, yeah, it would have felt great to win the Stanley Cup for the first time, but it was such a thrill, the whole thing. The Miami Heat, when they lost in 2023, the same year, I was like, I wasn't upset. It was so amazing, the run. You're still down about that?

Yeah, because the difference here is Florida didn't have enough. They got really injured and they lost in five. It was a miracle that they got the one game there. Another comparison would be that Miami Heat team that this city really loved that was scrapping with Karon Butler, Lamar Odom. They went toe to toe with the Pacers in the conference semis. The second round, yeah. Yeah, but you felt good. Like, Yeah, all right. Miami is back. Felt great. The way that this one is different is Miami had the ball with time left on the clock, and they were driving down the field. It was in their home stadium. You had gone through so much. Just to make it into the college football playoff was a war in itself. You had it right there for you, so it's a little bit different. The heartbreak there wasn't that we just lost. It was like, damn it.

It was there. I wouldn't say, though, that that's the only difference. What Zaz is talking about is having a general gratitude. That program raised you and set the expectations in a place that the standard is totally unreasonable. Like the Panthers, you got it and were like, holy shit, I got to do that. But you've already done this with the hurricanes. You did this for many years with the hurricanes. So you've taken the beating the last few years. But you're right when you say they squandered, the basketball team squandered all the momentum that they had. They were in the position the football teams in. You're supposed to take that and springboard it. The idea that they didn't have team a few months ago, that their coach had retired and they'd squandered it all, and now we're beating North Carolina. And while that's not much of a court storming because it was a milling about, I was ready to call child services on Mike Ryan. I was ready to use the telestrator correctly today and said, show me all the other children who are on this court. You don't bring a child to a court storming. Everybody knows you don't do that.

But this wasn't a court storming. This was a gathering.

It was a gathering.

It was an occurrence.

They're skipping out onto the court. It was an occurrence.

It was like a picnic. But it was also the court totally full, so it doesn't feel- No, we didn't know if we were allowed to.

No good.

So it wasn't dangerous.

No court shame.

It didn't feel dangerous.

Mike was allowed to saunter on the fringes because there wasn't a bustle at the middle of it. They had too many people.

A little bit of a sad court storm, if It wasn't a storm.

It wasn't a storm. It was a gathering of saunters.

Look what we got right here. This looks great. This looks packed.

This looks lit. It's like your standard hurricane, really powerful in the middle, and then not so.

No, the middle is actually the I-wall guy.

The That's what I wanted to say. The dirty side of the storm.

The dirty side of the storm, though. The undercarriage.

To Dan's larger point- You know about that eye? The last two seasons of Miami basketball have honestly been disrespectful to what the team that made it to the Final Four did. It was last year in particular was one of the worst power conference seasons of basketball I have ever witnessed in my life. I was at those games. I have season tickets. I just stopped going because they didn't seem to care to try. And what Jay Lucas does with his teams is they're going to compete. That was evident. Dante Allen was a demon defensively.

Let's talk about this part of it a second. Game analysis for just a second, okay? I've watched a little North Carolina basketball this year, and they don't get slowed. Kentucky, Duke, and Navy are the three teams that did this. And I'm assuming it's because Navy plays that shot clock bullshit where they take every... I'm assuming Navy's doing backdoor cuts from China to milk the clock. I'm assuming Assuming they're trapped. Just trapped, trapped, trapped, trapped, trapped. Four corners? Whatever they're doing, I'm assuming they're trying to do it as slow as possible. But when Kentucky slows North Carolina offensive, I wasn't expecting that. I wasn't expecting the defense of five guys to not wear down. They're supposed to wear down against the depth and the blue, the McDonald All-American of North Carolina, you're supposed to wear down when North Carolina is resting at starters, but high is not.

It's Jay. I know. It's the spelling of high light, but it's J. Lucas. God bless him for reminding me last night that I'm a traditional power. I had forgotten. Why? Isn't he pulled? Yeah, I'm a Blueblood. I'm a traditional power in the ACC, a college basketball power. The last two seasons made me forget that. I almost forgot who I was. I mean, last season, guys, I cannot articulate how pathetic last season's basketball team was. You've done well. They did not give a single crap. It was revolting. Revolting, given that there's a banner from the final four from post-COVID. It felt like a lifetime ago.

Yeah, and the Laranjega era, which was successful- Still going to go with Laranjega, huh? Really fizzled. Yeah, Laranjega. It was squandered.

It fizzled. Be clear on how hard that is to do. There are any number of Cindyrellas that get to the final four and then disappear. But the University of Miami as a campus has a reputation. It's major. You should be able to build off of that. They've done it with the football program.

Isn't it easier in this NIL age to squander than it would have been past? Definitely.

Yes, but if you're one of these schools who has a reputation and can't get your players bought by others because you build it correctly.

They went to the final four, and they lost Zey Wong, who was ACC player of the year, and Jordan Miller, who is still hanging around the NBA, who is a really unsung hero of that team. But they brought back Wuka Poplar. They brought back Nigel pack. They brought back Nor Chad Omeer baby food, who, by the way, is absolutely killing the G League. In the G League, and he's going to get a call up. They brought back what I thought that team was going to be the best team in Miami history the year after the final four, because I was Or Chad brought it. Nobody else did. And then the following season was just a joke.

Mike, you know I have one rule to live by, right?

Don't place parlays on multiple long shots. Don't say a game is one when it hasn't hit triple zero.

Always drink your Jägermeister cold. That's the rule. Everything else is merely a suggestion.

Everything else?

Everything else.

Wearing clean underwear every day?

Well, that's just a personal decision.

Brushing your teeth?

Obviously smart, but not a rule.

Never PP on an electric fence.

Okay, maybe there are two rules, but the one that is 100% that I insist on completely, Jägermeister must be drunk ice cold. Or don't drink it at all. Damn, that's cold. Exactly. You're finally starting to get it.

Drink responsibly. Jägermeister L'Core, 35% alcohol by volume, imported by Mass Jägermeister US, White Plains, New York.

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Howdy, folks. Mike Ryan here. Quick break to talk to you about one of our show's longest, most tenured, and greatest partners, Miller Lite. I love this product because so many moments were made legendary by having Miller Lite there. And it's not just a good time. Sometimes You and your pals are sad because a game didn't go your way, and you take a sip of Miller Lite, and you still recognize, Darn, this tastes good. And I made the right call. And that sound of cracking open that beautiful white can, it does make me feel better. Thank you, Miller Lite. So many legendary legendary moments start with a Miller Light. Miller Light just fits pretty much any occasion. Clean finish, refreshing, brewed for taste with simple ingredients like malted barley, and at 96 calories and 3. 2 carbs per 12 ounces, it never weighs you down. It's the taste that beer lovers have trusted for over 50 years. The original light beer since 1975 and still iconic today. Legendary moments start with Miller Lite. Great taste, 96 calories. Go to millerlife. Com/dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Light pretty much anywhere they sell beer.

It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly, Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3. 2 carbs per 12 ounces. Don Levatard. I'm not going to apologize.

I wouldn't expect you to apologize. You're a giant infant. You have no control over your emotions. You have no control over your emotions. When you're calling someone you know an idiot, I don't deserve it. I don't deserve it, and you're a fool for saying it.

Okay. You're a fool.

I was following you. Or you're locking in right now.

You're locking in on us? Yeah. All right. Let's drop the gloves, pal. You should be thanking me. For what? Every day. For what? For what I've done around this character. And the second shit gets real for you, you want to come at me and call me a fool? No, no, no. Seriously.

Jeremy just whispered.

I've added 10 years to your career. This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugatz. Rats.

To your point, though, Chris, yes, FAU also made a run and now has fated back to the pack, but they lose their head coach, gets taken by somebody else. They're a power that other teams use as a feeder system. Miami is trying to get into the biggest game. Acc is the biggest game. They're in the conference that plays the biggest basketball games, and so they're trying to get to the top of what that is. But what I I enjoyed about yesterday, because Zaz comes in with his shirt and his pride today, I'm going to ask the same question of Cody that I asked of Zaz. Are you familiar with Ernest Ude?

No.

Do you know who that is, though?

Yeah, I know he's a player on UM. I'm not really well-versed on that.

No, but I'm not even here. I'm not here to make fun of you about that. I'm here to tell you March is approaching, and this is how everybody does it who's not immersed in the college basketball of it throughout the year. Zaz, I asked him before the show, Ernest Ude, and he's like, Who's that? And I'm like, The guy who played best last night, the guy who looked like he was more adult than the players who play for North Carolina.

Yeah. Last night was the ultimate attention getter at exactly the right time. I mean, if you're a marginal UM fan or somebody on the periphery going, Are they having a good season? Now you know. Now you know how good they are. If you didn't know before, I think they should have been ranked a long ago when they were 15 and 2. They're only two losses of top 10 teams. But now they're going to be ranked, and everybody's paying attention at exactly the right time. Because most people think college football season doesn't even start until football ends. And so what a College basketball. College basketball. So what a gorgiously timed victory last night.

What happened, Tony? He was right there. He was making a great point. He was excited. He was going to get the diss route, and then he got the sport wrong, and then it all fell apart.

I forgot everything he said. I don't know if you were watching the game last night. No, I watched the whole game. You watched the whole game? But I watched it on mute. Okay, so Ude is the guy that was- It's like I don't know anyone's name. The guy that was DeAndre Jordan last night, that's who they're talking about.

Prime DeAndre Jordan was a fun player to watch. I like him.

Yeah, and he was playing in Coral Cables last night. All right, cool.

He's their fifth best player. I think I can say that, right? Their Achilles heel is going to be free throws, and if they get injured or fouled, trouble. They don't have any depth, Mike. It really is five guys.

They I mean, you got Trey. You got Shilton Henderson. He's a beast, by the way.

Say the name again. Who else they got?

You got Sally Altuntage.

No, but look, the post-presence of Ray New, in the Boston College game, he missed three layups and two dunks. But again, more adult than the people he's playing. It's not just a size thing. The team is unusually physical. The way that they're playing defense, nobody slows. North Carolina got bullied last night. Say it plain.

I was so happy to see Wilson go to the locker room.

North Carolina, yes. Yes, that, too.

He came out on a boxing glove. He's off on top of the bottom.

That was just a four. That's what happens when you try to box out Sally.

Just to be clear, because many people are going to correctly be hearing overreaction in what we're saying about Miami, and you should for this reason. They will not be allowed by the refs to play a game like that again all season. The refs let everybody play in that game. And so Miami, more adult, bullied North Carolina coming off of a giant win where you're watching a basketball game and you want to switch the uniforms. Because, for example, when you're watching Duke, Kam Boosers, more adult. He's a freshman, but he's more adult physically than the people he's playing against. I'm just not used to seeing that. North Carolina can be finesse, but they've always got the athletes. They step on every court, and unless it's Duke, they've got the athletes. To see Miami, to see, freshman goes to the locker room, looks like a kid, he's going to figure out how to play basketball in the next three years. But at the moment, he's a sixth grader playing against a bunch of guys who have been playing at the park and are coming home from the construction job and are putting an elbow in his ear.

It was so hard for North Carolina to get a clean shot up. And last year, I was screaming, and they could hear me because not many people were there, Put a hand up. Just try to put a hand up in a passing lane. Every single shot was like pulling teeth from North Carolina because these kids compete. It was great to see. So refreshing because last year really killed my passion for the sport.

The other thing, too, is Wilson would get the ball at the low block and try to do the same exact move every time. Spinning jump hook. And it was like, buddy, if that's your bag, he would try to back down any of Miami's frontline guys, and he would just bounce back. He had no motion to get to the- You're all built like Sally on Tuntaj. Literally. He would sit there and push against the wall and then just turn around and shoot a jump hook. And it was like, if that's your offense, you guys are done.

Guys, please get me some optics on Tuntaj, please, so that everyone can know what we're talking about, because this is always a fan favorite. The guy who's just cardboard stiff, his hair's bad, you don't know whether he's 18 or 40. He's going to give you three minutes. He's going to flop around out there, get an offensive rebound for you, and you'll run him off the court both laughing and hoping that you don't have to rely on him. Zero lateral movement. You don't want to rely too much on him in March.

Every time I have the Canes game on, my wife walks in the room, she Is this Konstantin Popa playing.

No, wait a minute. Konstantin Popa, I recognize. You just look at him and be like, That's a basketball player. It's unusual. Usually not that skinny. Konstantin Popa was the big guy who can play at 7-3 from the perimeter before that was a popular thing. This is not that. This is a dry cleaning rack making its way through the lane just trying to grab an offensive rebound. A dry cleaning rack. It's missing hair.

With a park bench for shoulders. A dry cleaning rack. Sally is carved of granite.

No.

What a two minutes. What a two minutes he produced last night. It was electric.

He's a pillar. He's a pillar.

He grabbed a hell of a board and then turned it off to a fast break.

Can we- Look at all these Europeans that are playing defense for Jade Lucas. I am telling you, it's going to be very hard to retain this young man.

Put up Ray New real quick because I want people to see that he had his nose bloodied, and I think his mouth was bloodied, too, correct? They really let them play last night. At one point, I saw North Carolina late in the game, had four free- Dude, two positions in.

I'm like, We're covering. I feel like it's- I was like, Yes, they're going to let us play today.

I feel like it's always embarrassing, no matter what you're doing. And there, of course, he's playing basketball. But when you got the goss sticking out of your nose, that's always an embarrassing look, no?

That's culture. This is Miami's basketball team right now. This is a team that doesn't take the privilege of stepping onto the wood for granted.

I need a worse picture than That's a good picture of him. I need a bad picture.

Why does he have so much hair under one arm pit and not a lot of hair under the other? Is that the shadow? That's his look. Can we pull that back up? One hairy arm pit and one-That's even better than that.

Let's not arm pitch shame him. Let's shame the entirety of him, not just the arm pits.

Why are you shaming this legend?

I need the other shadow. What's going on here? That's a shadow.

He looks like a young Ronny Cycly.

All right, it's a shadow.

He's good on the arm pit. It is not Ronny Cycly. He looks like He looks like an old Roni Cycly. That's why it's funny. Yes. Thank you. It's DJ Roni Cycly. Dj Roni Cycly still has all his hair. This guy has more hair under one arm than the other, and some of it's missing off of the top of his head. The effect, you need to understand that one of the reasons that everyone is noticing him, they would not if he were simply bald. But the hair is distracting because it looks out of place, because it looks disheveled like he's run panicked from a building.

I don't know. I think he'd look even crazy or bald. This guy looks pretty insane.

You guys-They wouldn't notice. He wouldn't look older. Because he's selling Elton Taj. He would not look older.

Let me see these arm pit again. I'm going to break this down a little if I can here. There's more.

Part of it is shadows, though.

Right here. Oh, there's shadows. Okay, I'm going to mess this up. Right here, not a lot of hair. Then Here, it looks like way more hair, but as I really dissect it-That's a good so far, right? As I really dissect, there's a shadow here. You know what? Normal amount of hair.

That should be a look for some players. You're like, One arm, but oh, man, that's the pit with all the hair.

Lewis, do me a favor, please. Surely you will I need to find a photo that shows us the top of his head because it's what's distracting. Those are the camera angles that hurt him when wives are noticing.

Good luck. I'm sure the internet is littered with in-game action photos of Sally.

I found one. I'm sending it to Louis now.

Thank you. I'm short.

Look, Louis. Oh, that one was unfortunate. I remember that play. He gathered and he turned with momentum behind him, which means the wind was starting. The inertia of it all was pushing that hairline back.

What I need everyone listening to this to understand, because this is March Madness in full bloom. March Madness in full bloom is the Wives and girlfriends discovering that the thing that you're watching has a player that makes them ask, who is that and why is he out there? Women don't watch basketball.

You're right, Dan.

That is... Thank you, Jeremy. It's a good correction. But Tony brought up the fact that somebody wasn't not your- My father-in-law.

He had my father on the couch watching the game. He's like, Who's this guy? I'm like, Arvita Sabonis.

I thought it was your wife that asked you because my wife- My wife does not care. As you should assume. My wife is asking me those questions when I'm watching. She comes over to the television, she's like, Well, those aren't the pros. Why are you watching this? Who's that? Who's that? Oh, honey, he couldn't get enough minutes in tonight's game. He's not going to get any, but you're going to want to watch the three minutes that he's out there. That's one of the great discoveries. It's not just that Zaz is watching on mute, and you're learning, we're learning that earnests don't get to be good at sports. It's Ernest Biner, and that's the list.

Ernest Graham had a moment for Florida.

Ernest Ude made a name for himself last night. Ude.

What about Ernie's?

Yeah, Ernest Borgnan.

That's not an athlete. Not helpful. It's not.

He was great in basketball.

You just wanted to say an Ernest that you know?

I did, yeah. Because I don't count Ernie's, Ernie Ls. You can't count the Ernie's. Ernest is a totally different name.

Somebody's going to be less good at sports when they're named Ernest, correct?

Ernest Banks. That was several generations ago, though.

It's 1950s, 1960s.

We can all agree, deck is stacked if your name is Ernest. It's Mr..

Cub, though. It's the shortstop. Let's play two. It's a Hall of Famer.

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Don Lebatard.

I feel like we need to normalize saying these scientific terms for organs on the air.

A penis?

Yes.

You know what?

If someone takes a foul ball to the penis, we should just say, he took a foul ball to the penis.

Say it. Stugats.

That free kick hit him right in the cock-a-doodle-doo.

This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugats. I mean, just wanted to cut in. We became tongue city. It was just so great to watch, so refreshing to watch that brand of basketball. I'm telling you, in five years, provided we keep this coach, which is going to be very difficult, we're going to make a final four again.

So this coach spells his name high, goes by J. Is he allowed to make that distinction for us? Because I was arguing on last names recently that you don't get to decide what your last name is pronounced by me if you're spelling it in a way that puts double Ls on it and you don't want to be Hispanic. Castellanos doesn't get to be that. Terrible. No, he doesn't get to be that. That's incorrect. It's Castellanos, even if he wants to be called that. Can I do the same thing with Hi? Can I make J Lucas high, Lucas? And can I go furthermore, if we're not going to allow this and you're going to bend this many rules, can I then call it J. Eli, that you're the champions, that the cyclones are now the champions of J. Eli instead of High Eli?

Yeah. If we go to a final four, I'm all on board renaming it J. Eli. I'm down with that. Thank you for mentioning the champion cyclone. Spring season started yesterday. Dan, this is a whole new game. The fronton has changed. We're at the Jam Arena now, and it looks spectacular.

I saw a giant cartoon replica of you two holding up a trophy and enjoying the triumphs of last season. Chris and Mike were commemorated in a giant thing that I saw celebrating you as reigning excellence in that sport.

New venue means new banner, so we refreshed the banner because we are two-time champs. But guys, this place is spectacular. And now- What's that good sound? Jli Fridays at Battle Court at the Jam Arena. The JLi happens before a headlining comedy set. Whitney Cummings is probably the strangest opener in her career. That's a pretty strange one. I'm sure she's going to tell stories to her comic friends. They had this weird Basque country sport that played before me. Is it called J-L-I? Yeah, J-L-I or something like that. But the cyclones take the front on today at three o'clock. Youtube, ESPN app, if you want to follow your reigning defending cyclone champions.

It's tough when you're a champ, Dan.

It's a whole new sport. The glass wall is now on the back, so it even sounds different. It sounds like Dania Highly childhood.

It brings me back to $2 beers in quinella's. Yeah, it does. This sound. Because if you've been to the Magic City Court, it had this thickness to it. This sound that you get now, this is the Highly sound off the wall. I can't even describe what it sounds like. Just that sound of the high-ly pelota hitting the wall.

It sounds like a billiard ball. If you were to throw it across Across the pool table is what the sound would be.

It sounds great, but the bigger court means more winners from the backcourt. Thankfully, we're blessed to have two incredible backcourters, our captain, Monu. It's a different game. Yeah, Manu is a legend. He's not going anywhere. We texted Monu How are we feeling about the new court? He said terrible, but Manu is never happy about anything.

Manu is very... He loves to set expectations low. It's his thing. It's our banter.

How about the undertakeer?

The undertakeer- Always confident.

He's been saying sharp. He's been playing overseas. He's back now, and this Frantan plays to his strengths, which is why we made the very difficult decision to keep him. We could only bring back four players. We also brought back Bradley, who had an incredible season last year. In his backcourt part and his frontcourt partner from last year, they went undefeated. The greatest athlete in the history of sports, Jettin. Now, before you look at me like I'm crazy. Hear him out. We talk about Bo Jackson, we talk about Deion Sanders. Why do we do that? Because they just merely played in these other sports. Tenard Davis won a Super Bowl and a battle court championship. That's who Jeden is.

Who else has done that?

He's got two rings, two world championships in two different sports.

What are you smiling about, Greg Cody? The last time, he's talking about a champion, and the only story I know about you at JLi is coughing so much until you passed out late on the floor. Almost died.

Yeah, that's true. That was a highlight of a highlight.

A JLi.

Like, Fuentes thinks he saved your life.

Have I been back yet since I guess you have?

Yeah, we won the champion.

You were there for our champion.

Have I I knew it was a bit of a paper dream.

Okay.

I mean, this is just my life.

Guys, listen, okay. We have to make it so that the evolution of your father on this show is him joining us from something that appears to be a memory loss unit. What is happening? I don't know what's happening with him, but he's just asking you guys.

At one point, I pointed to you and I said, This is for you.

I know. You're right. He continues to ask you guys questions about himself because he's sinking into All right? The entitled malaise of Chris Cody as the producer of my podcast just handles everything. And so I just throw things over my shoulder and don't retain anything. I'm the star. I don't retain my catchphrases. I don't have to retain anything. This is my inheritance, kid. It's me not trying at all at the end, just running into the light. Glory for me. Everyone remember me for me, please. Tell me what I did that was so interesting yesterday.

Thank you. I have a staff that remembers for me.

That's a wonderful thing. Did you bring in the two catch phrases from yesterday you couldn't remember?

You were especially terrible yesterday.

I said one yesterday.

So you didn't- What was it?

What are the two? I'm not going to repeat it. Okay, there we go again. You know what?

I said it yesterday.

The one was I love you like a pet.

That's what I said yesterday.

You don't remember what you said yesterday.

I love you like a pet.

You don't remember.

Talking to the mic.

I love you like a pet. I do. I love Dan like a pet.

Let's make it a memory loss unit. Let's sell some Greg Cody T-shirts here. Just so that you can get them at lebitardaf. Com just in time for Valentine's Day. If you have any love questions, we're going to try and do this live with Cody on Friday, 305 486 Gotts. 305 486 Gotts. It's a terrible idea to do this live, unspeakably bad. I think it's better this way. Friday, we're going to do it live. 305. Yeah, of course, your love question is 305 486 Gotts.

In case you're not watching, we did make a new shirt for lebitardaf. Com that has Greg Cody face, a speech bubble that says, My wife always handles the wand.

My wife always handles the wand.

I have already purchased a T-shirt. How are you feeling about these new merch drops that just increase the amount of liver spots? I'm not a fan of it.

It's not a flattering caricature.

Every new drop, there's a new liver spot.

It is not flattering in the way. Why wouldn't your cartoon get older? That would make sense. It would age the way the rest of you. You broke out the '90s goatee today in order to hide the aging on your face.

Why does Steve Banon have a wife that is handling his mom?

What do you mean, oh? This is Steve Banon. He looks like Steve Banon. His hair makes him look like Steve Banon.

Military green is a choice.

What's going on with your goatee? Can you explain what's happening here? You're bringing back a '90s goatee. You have a little bit of Fred Durst in you.

It's laziness. Sometimes as a routine, I four or five days without shaving just because. And I went long enough this time where it started to grow in a little bit. I can't grow a beard because my cheeks are awful and it doesn't really come in as a beard. So I decided to debeared it and just leave the goatee, partly because my wife hates facial hair. Fred Durst. Yeah, Fred Durst.

At most, maybe a chin thing.

So this is a compromised goatee, Greg Goatee.

Say, Drew-ski.

Drew-ski.

No. Not for me. You can hear me? Greg, that was for me. You can hear me. That was for me.

He's off to a great start today, Dano.

Greg, this is how we're doing this, okay? Greg, he's my inner monolog, okay? Now, I'm supposed to ignore my... I'm supposed to ignore my inner monolog. My inner monolog was indeed feeling insecure about my Limp Biscuit reference. It fell limp, and I knew it, and he knew it, and so he came to the microphone, and he's giving voice to the audience, making fun of me. You're supposed to run right past it. I keep arguing with it because occasionally, he doesn't appear as my inner monolog. He just appears to give me things he secretly thinking.

The shipping container member.

Greg, say Drusky again. You are explaining the show now, Dan. It's fine.

It's not good. I'm explaining it to Greg, but okay, fine. I can't believe he said Drusky. I mean, he did I'm explaining it to him because he doesn't understand who Drusky is, why someone's saying Drusky, and he's just burying it because he thought it was said to him privately.

He also still doesn't understand anything you just told him. Ask him to explain back what you explained.

The other part of it is that there's so many people talking in ears as the show is going on that Tony hits the wrong microphone yesterday and says to Chris Cody and the rest of us, Go to Fake or Real podcast when none of us were doing that as the show.

What are you doing to me? This is Greg. Minor penalty, two minutes for explaining the show.

The nerve of this guy. Zaz was the one that took care of all of our sins yesterday. Walking out the door and stumbling on the way out.

Is Jason Tatum really coming back?

Oh, man, this NBA.

We're going to be joined by nick Wright in a little bit, and he's getting loads of fanfare for a podcast that he did with Bill Simmons, where he tries to fix the NBA.

Well, what do you mean? Well, okay, so the NBA needs a lot of fixing, but what was the crux of- I haven't heard it yet.

We can ask him for the good stuff, but I assume not knowing when the stars are playing is a big deal.

Last night, you saw the Lakers, like LeBron James now is not eligible for any postseason awards. That's a crime. So it ends his streak of all NBA, like 21 straight years of all NBA. Why is it a crime?

Because I like the 65 game minimum, but that's to prevent tanking and too much rest and all the other reasons the star might not play. In this case, if it's a legitimate injury, which apparently this was, and he's at 64 games because of a legitimate injury, I don't think it should be a hard, fast- Oh, but you say that as if he's not going to miss any other games, and he's going to fall one game short of 65.

There's going to be plenty more games this season where he actually does rest because of his age. I mean, It'll probably be somewhere around mid '50s at the end of the season.

I just think it needs to, and I know this is hard to do, but if it's tanking, if it's like Utah resting starters, obviously just resting them because they don't want to win, or if it's because two ridiculous amounts of rest. But there has to be a way to exclude the legitimate injuries from the penalty. It's difficult. Maybe it's impossible, but I just think it's terrible.

It seems like you just want this for LeBron, though. I don't even know if you want this as a rule. You're just like, LeBron should get this treatment.

Was LeBron going to make any of those postseason teams? Now he gets to blame it on a technicality.

Yeah, he might have made the third team, right? But why?

Right now, he's played 35 games, and he's been playing okay, but there's a lot of other better players. By the way, just check his stats. You want to know how many seasons he's played 82 games in his entire career? Zero. Twenty-two seasons?

Maybe one, but I'm not even confident in that. One.

One time, he's played 82 games.

On the tanking, though, you got a big one tonight. Kings and Jazz. We know the Jazz have been sitting their starters.

I saw this. You see this, Dan?

They're out tanking each other because tonight for the Kings, DeAndre Hunter, out. Zack Levine, out. Malik Monk, out. Keegan Murray, out. Demontis Abonis, out. Russell Westbrook, out. And that's against the Jazz. Why would the NBA need fixing? I don't get it.

I saw Bobby Marks like, ripping them for the Jazz, being like, What they're doing is bad for the NBA. I know the heat let one buy them. The heat just can't... They're trying so badly. They're like, What they're doing should be illegal, but they still beat the heat.

The thing that you guys are ignoring, because it is pretty amazing to go 21 straight years all NBA. It's something that doesn't have a precedent. He's out for arthritis. It's sciatica, and now it's foot arthritis. Lebron James is literally so old, he's out for arthritis.