Transcript of Hour 1: The Fish, The Face Cards, and The Quarterback (feat. Kash)

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This is the Dan Levatore Show with the Stugats podcast.

All right, go ahead and pot it up, Chris? Let's listen to what... A lot of suits, a lot of suits in front of microphones next to Cash Patel, who's in an FBI jacket.

The person speaking right now is US attorney. Well, he's moved off for the star of the show, Cash Patel. Here we go.

Good morning. Today, we are here in New York to announce a historic arrest across a wide-sweeping criminal enterprise that envelops both the NBA and La Casa Nuestra. The men and women up here standing with me represent a small portion of the leadership team that brought profound justice in an era that needed it more than any. I'll just highlight some of the details in the case in the FBI work, and then you'll hear from the others. But as you now know, individuals such as Chauncey Billups, Damon Jones, and Terry Rozier were taken into custody today. Former current NBA players and coaches. What you don't know is that this is an illegal gambling operation and sports rigging operation that spanned the course of years. The FBI led a coordinated takedown across 11 states to arrest over 30 individuals today responsible for this case, which is very much ongoing. Not only did we crack into the fraud that these perpetrators committed on the grand stage of the NBA, but we also entered and executed a system of justice against La Casa Nuestra, to include the Bonano, Gambino, Genovesi, and Luchasi crime families. And you'll hear more about those details today.

The charges and the arrests that were taken down across this country range from wire fraud, money laundering, extortion, robbery, illegal gambling. This FBI will leave no room for any perpetrator of crime across this country. You hear a lot about our work of defending the homeland and crushing violent crime. Well, this work is also representative of a colossal portion of the FBI's mandate to keep America safe and to keep our entertainment industry fair and secure. The men and women that are standing up here today worked tireless hours, days, months, and years. And the fraud is mind boggling. It's not hundreds of dollars. It's not thousands of dollars. It's not tens of thousands of dollars. It's not even millions of dollars. We're talking about tens of millions of dollars in fraud and theft and robbery across a multi-year investigation. And we could not have done it without our inter-agency partners that are before us today. The NYPD, HSI, and teams of law enforcement officials from around the country made this day possible. It takes a team to bring this justice, sweeping justice, into the halls of the United States' courtrooms where our brave United States attorney has led this prosecution.

It takes courageous prosecutors to to stand before you and say, We will not allow this illicit activity to happen, not only at the national sporting level, but also where it hides in La Casa Nuestra. When these two collided together, they perpetrated a fraud that is historic in terms of not just money, but the scheme and the deceit that they utilize to steal and swindle people from money to include crypto fraud. This is an operation that showcases to you that under President Trump's administration, there is no room for any type of criminal behavior, be it on the world's largest stage or in the backrooms of tiny pollers where guard games are being plugged.

They got no more names.

We are proud to stand here today with the men and women of the FBI and this legal team. Still no action. To the United States attorney, I just want to thank you personally for taking the time to display the work that the media is about to hear about today in detail. As I said, it does take courageous prosecutors, but it takes a courageous United States attorney to bring this case because we are going to take heat for it. But we don't shy away in this administration. We don't say no. What we do is we bring the results across the finish line. We bring them to the public. We bring you accountability. And yes, they will have their day in court, and you will hear the evidence through the court system exclusively. We will not deny anyone of due process. And that's the brilliance of this system. That's the brilliance of this administration. Everyone will be held to account. So with that, I turned over to United States attorney, Nocel. Thank you.

Thank you, Director Patel. To be clear, we're announcing today indictments in two major cases, both involving fraud. One involves sports betting, and the other involves illegal gambling, very specifically rigged poker games. The first indictment involves six defendants who are alleged to have participated in one of the most brazen sports corruption schemes since online sports betting became widely legalized in the United States. This scheme is an insider sports betting conspiracy that exploited confidential information about National Basketball Association athletes and teams. The second indictment involves 31 defendants alleged to have participated in a nationwide scheme to rig illegal poker games. These defendants, which include former professional athletes, used high tech cheating technology to steal millions of dollars from victims in underground poker games that were secretly fixed. The games in the New York area were backed by the Banano, Gambino, and Genovesi crime families of La Casa Nuestra. While the cases are separate, there are three overlapping defendants charged in both cases: Damon Jones, Eric Ernest, and Shane Hennon. The indictments in these cases contain only allegations, and the defendants are presumed innocent until they are proven guilty in a court of law. But my message to the defendants who've been rounded up today is this.

Your winning streak has ended. Your luck has run out. Violating the law is a losing proposition, and you can bet on that. Yeah.

Oh, wow. Yeah, nailed the dismo.

I would like to talk about United States versus Ernest.

Last night, he was practicing that.

The NBA basketball gambling case. The defendants in this case are Eric Ernest.

All right, turn it down. That's enough.

There will be no traveling.

Shane Hennan, De Niro Laster, Damon Jones, a former NBA player and coach, and Terry Rozier, a current NBA player. Other co-conspirators were previously charged for their roles in the scheme, including former NBA player, Jontay Porter.

All right, go ahead and turn this down.

That's actually pretty newsy, that Jontay Porter's- 2024. I mean, associated with this.

My favorite part so far Was him, Cash Patel, coming out and saying, We're not talking about hundreds of dollars like those crappy Chris Cody poker games. We are talking about tens of millions of dollars.

Those are the early for purported injuries or illnesses. They relied on corrupt individuals, including Jones and Rozier. They also misused information to obtain through long-standing friendships that they had with NBA players and coaches. And in at least one instance, they got their information by threatening a current player, Porter, because of his pre-existing gambling debts. Defendants used this non-public information to place hundreds of thousands of dollars in fraudulent bets, mostly in the form of prop bets on individual player performance. The bets were placed through online sportsbooks and also in person at casinos. The defendants relied on a network of straw betters to place the maximum amount of bets to increase their potential profits. Most of these bets succeeded, and the intended losses were in the millions of dollars. The defendants then laundered their illegal winnings in various ways: peer-to-peer platforms, bank wires, and simple cash exchanges.

All right, that's enough. Those are the big crime families. They had some- They got all the big boys, Dano. They got some big crime families involved. Chauncey Billups is, and I guess Damon Jones, are the only new information, right? We knew that some of this was already... They didn't say anything about Malik Beesley, but we knew that some of this was already around John T. Porter, and we knew some of this was already around Terry Rosita.

Yeah, but Arenas, too, they didn't mention.

Yeah, we knew that some of this stuff was surrounding John T. Porter, but we didn't know that there was a direct tether to John T. Porter, which that was pretty revelatory there.

I'd like some more information about Chauncey Billups, if indeed, we've just ended his coaching career and forever smeared his name. I would like some more information.

They are given more information on the poker game. We're talking on the poker game. Aspect of this, if you'd like to hear.

They are given more information on the poker aspect of this, if you'd like to hear. Orchestrated his scheme to use wireless cheating technology to run rigged poker games across the United States, including in the Hamptons, Las Vegas, Miami, and Manhattan. The scheme targeted victims known as, Fish, who were often lored to participate in these rigged games by the chance to play alongside former professional athletes who were known as, Face the so-called Face Cards. The so-called Face Cards included the defendant Chauncey Billups, who at the time of the scheme was a former NBA player and is currently the head coach of the Portland Trailblazers, and also Damon Jones, a former NBA player and coach. What the victims, the Fish, didn't know is that everybody else at the poker game, from the dealer to the players, including the face cards, were in on the scam. Once the game was underway, the defendants fleeced the victims out of tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars per game. The defendants used a variety of very sophisticated cheating technologies, some of which were provided by other defendants in exchange for a share of the profits from the scheme. For example, they used off-the-shelf shuffling machines that had been secretly altered in order to read the cards in the deck, predict which player at the table had the best poker hand, and relay that information to an off-site operator.

The off-site operator sent the information via cell phone back to a co-conspirator at the table, and that person at the table was known as the quarterback. The quarterback then signaled secretly the information he had received from others to others at the table. And together, they use that information in order to win their games.

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Did someone say conservative entity? No. See, this is Stugatz. Hers was better than mine. Hers was bloody. How is the fifth Sagaki better than the third and the fourth Sagaki already?

This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugatz.

All right, turn this down for a second. I've got a couple of different questions here. Does it matter to you guys at all if Billups was doing this while he was a player, but not as a coach?

No, not at all. No distinction there whatsoever.

My biggest takeaway from it is Billups goes off as a total dirtbag. Like he's in on a poker scheme to rip off civilians.

Oh, no, you're stealing money from people.

Ripping off fish.

Total dirtbag.

You're stealing money from the fish for sure. That's just theft. You're He's scamming in order to steal the money of others. But the reason I'm making the distinction is the position that Chauncey Billups is presently in, if he's doing that as a coach, to me, it does feel different than if he was doing it as a player. Why? Because of how long ago he was doing it. Because he's not in the position of authority when he is taking advantage of his leadership position. It's still wrong. I'm not saying it's not wrong. I'm just saying that when Chauncey Billups' name was associated with this, the reason to me it's a bigger story than Damon Jones is because he's the head coach of something. That's right. He's not an assistant coach, and he's not a former player. He's actively in the league. This sounds like they are coming after him for actual crimes, but crimes from years ago, not crimes committed while as a coach. To me, there is a distinction there.

I'm not getting that impression.

I didn't grab that from that.

It seems like he's the draw, right? In the poker game, Oh, we got Chauncey Billups in this game. Then whoever's the fish is, is like, Oh, I'm going to go over there.

I want to play with Chauncey Billups. I don't know how you had that takeaway when they said that Chauncey Porter is involved in this, and that's a recent thing.

Mike, that was on the sports gambling side of it, not the poker side of it.

Yeah, but there was a tether to it.

I think they made the distinction that Damon Jones is the tether to both.

Yeah, but I don't think we're talking about something that happened during Chauncey Billups' playing days. I didn't get that.

Just because he said it's a criminal enterprise that goes back years. I don't know where all of this-Mafia goes back years. Where all of this I don't know how- La Casa Nuestra. Yeah, they were pronouncing that wrong.

Why is he even calling it La Casa? It's not a house.

Well, he was nervous. You could hear the nerves.

You know that's what it means, right? La Casa means house, Dan.

He's right about that.

Do you know what the Nuestra means?

La Casa Nuestra means this thing of ours.

You're a real godfather expert.

Don't question my gangster knowledge.

Do you guys want to know anything else from this?

It seems to be wrapping up. He's thanking the people who worked on the investigation.

I win the bet, no bigger names, right? I get all your money. I get everything here. The biggest we're doing here is Terry Rozier. He nailed, though. He really nailed the dismount, and you can bet on that. That was a- Our winning streak has ended.

Your luck has run out, and you can bet on that.

But what we did not hear, because we parted the audio down, he called the Toronto Rapt as the Toronto Rangers. No.

I was like, What team is he talking about?

That's obviously John T. Porter.

My favorite His first thought, though, was not hundreds, not thousands, not millions, but billions, gazillion, trillions of dollars.

I really did think he was going to go to billions and trillions, but he did tens of... Wait a minute. Tens of millions are millions. You should know that. Your name is Cash.

Not one, not two, not three.

So not qualified for that position. Shouldn't be speaking in front of microphones.

You know who started his career here? Public Defender, Miami.

Because of course, Hey.

Can we put the story to the side now and realize that the biggest news happened before they came and gave us the details that was going to be the biggest news, that we had the biggest news, and the biggest news is just names. It's just names, and they were doing something, but we don't have the information.

They gave us some detail.

I thought the poker scheme was interesting.

Yeah, the poker stuff, that was pretty detailed, and they gave a little insight as to how they actually use their insight, the people that are alleged of doing these crimes to help gamblers.

Dan, did you hear what they call the guy who relays the information?

The quarterback.

Because they get to play in the headset.

Why wouldn't they call him the point guard. I understand that this is obviously a big story, and I'm not going to dispute that it's a big story, but it's being made bigger by the big show that they're making of Chauncey Billups was cheating at cards. That's what the story is on Chauncey Billups. It's not Chauncey Billups was affecting the integrity of the game. Chauncey Billups is a thief who was cheating at cards, but not Chauncey Billups is over here doing what Terry Rozier and when John T. Porter were doing. It's an important distinction.

Yes, CNN straight up put on the screen, Terry Rozier allegedly rigged NBA games.

Espn has not covered this at all. They're talking about Aaron Rodgers. There's no coverage anywhere on ESPN of what is presently happening. Espn is slightly less nimble than it used to be about going to live programming off of news events, so I don't know what's happening here, and I can't make an accusation on what's happening here. But it is suspicious that the FBI just had a 10: 00 AM press conference, and ESPN was talking about Aaron Rodgers during it. They cannot or have not broken into coverage of what this scandal is.

Yeah, but what are they saying about Aaron Rodgers? The Steelers are playing well. Obviously, they had a hiccup last week, but they're back on track. Aaron Rodgers could be dark horse for maybe an MVP if they keep winning.

The Steelers, what happened to them last week against the Bengals was legitimately confusing to me to watch offense like that happen against the Steelers, but I don't- Steelers defense sucks this year. They haven't been very good. It's weird. There is one thing that I said with certainty before the season started, which is that the Jets and Stealers' defenses are good. It's not looking great for me right now. Can't win them all day. Yeah, well, I don't win many of them. So Chauncey Billups, if you're just joining us, cheated a card and stole the money of Fish as the quarterback who should have been named the point guard. That just makes sense. Why wouldn't you just make it the point guard?

I mean, it would be so simple. It could call him the point God. It's Chauncey Billups.

It would have been so simple. It's Chauncey Billups. It's Chauncey Billups, right? The way they were doing that, though, that sucks to realize. You have to understand that there is some fish out turning on his television. He's like, Wait a minute. Chauncey was using a rigged shuffling deck? That's why I kept losing. There's somebody who woke up this morning, tuned into this press conference. I knew it. I was so happy to be with Damon Jones and Chauncey Billups, and they had a rigged deck. Three full houses in a row. The dealer, Emily, was in on it. She was in on it as well.

It was so nice.

How were they always folding their cards when I had Ace King How did they know? I thought they were such good poker players, but they happened to know. They were using a- Jose Altuve.

Is that a bowl trash can? He's banging on a trash can.

No, wait a minute. It's not buzzing. Somebody was being sent a text.

One guy's checking his phone like, Yeah, I'm going to fold here.

All of a sudden, the phone on the table is just vibrating.

Why did the fish catch to every time the phone was vibrating.

The fish. Did that attorney practice how he was going to say, known as the fish? He learned that term. He learned that... He said, He hasn't watched Rounders. He doesn't know anything about poker. If you don't know who the sucker is at the table, then the sucker is you. This guy got an indoctrination to what gambling is with this story and was thrilled to do that press conference.

First take actually just took the press conference live. They have it now.

It's just a bunch of people in suits applauding. They've already given out the news.

Just some guy 30 years he's been here, they're just now giving platitudes to people.

To those wrongdoers, you have gone up against a full house and you just have twos.

And we've got the nuts.

You have busted out. I suggest you fold now.

It felt like a movie poster. Can you guys get from me just him saying, your luck has run out? He was practicing that with his wife.

We Have an ace up our sleeve.

Babe, what do you think of this one? What if I use a betting pun at the end?

Even I didn't like that.

Yeah, it wasn't great, but they were really enjoying giving giving a lot of big adjectives to the great work that they are doing. And again, Chauncey Billups has been caught cheating at cards. Get him. Let's get him.

It is a sensational name. It takes my attention away from other stuff.

What even is going on out there?

What other stuff is that guy talking about? Exactly right.

If you want to spend some time with Tony this weekend, he's developed a fun side hustle on weekends that is watching some MMA with some of his closest friends. What are you doing? Where are you doing it this week?

Dano, you are sitting in the seat that I will be sitting in come Saturday, 2: 00 PM for UFC 321 We've got Tom Aspenal, the undisputed heavyweight champion after Jon Jones has retired. He's now standing in the fold at the top of the mountain for the heavyweight title. He's fighting Cyril Ghan, who fought Jon Jones last a couple of years ago and had Jon Jones win the heavyweight title. So very cool situation there in the heavyweight division. We'll be hanging out. It's in Abu Dhabi for everybody out there. Start time, 2: 00 PM. So 2: 00 to 5: 00 PM, MMA Hangout, presented by Boost Mobile. We'll be here in studio doing our thing.

First time you've done that in studio, correct?

In studio, exactly right. We're going to have fun. We're going to be watching the fights, be watching some college football, doing a whole bunch of stuff. We'll be hanging out. Mma Hangout, presented by Boost Mobile, 2: 00 PM start time everywhere that you watch.

I imagine the story will continue to develop. This was just a press conference. We're not privy to every detail, but Jeremy did catch something pretty interesting in terms of teams that were named.

Yeah, it wasn't just the Toronto Rangers that were mentioned. It was the Toronto Rangers, along with the Lakers, the Hornets, and the Blazers, which is obviously interesting in regard to anything that could be going on with Chauncey Billups. The Lakers, of course, I believe, and I'll go back and check now, Damon Jones might I have been an assistant on their staff when LeBron first got there because obviously, their connection from having played together in Cleveland, and I can go search for that. And then the Hornets, that's where this was going on with Terry Rozier, obviously the Miami Heat, not named.

Very quick to point that out. Of course.

Well, I think the news here is that was indeed Terry Rozier trying in a Miami Heat uniform.

Don Levatard.

Always good to see everybody despite the fact that everyone appears to hate me.

Stugatz. I love you, Woody. That's on you. I'm I don't know you that well. They said that you both suck ass and were bitten in the ass. Those are both things that you were accused of during this week. You're roughly in my ass.

You're roughly in my ass. This is the Don Levatard show with the Stugatz.

Let's go to the Dentec bucket. Let's do some of our football pics this week. My wife has been very concerned about how to make me look like Bad Bunny.

Which one are you going to go with, Dano? Because there's a lot of looks for Bad Bunny. I know you know that, Zash.

Roger Goodell yesterday said that blowback, he is undeterred. He is still going with Bad Bunny as the Super Bowl halftime show.

As you should, my Commissioner. Thank you.

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Jeremy, you are first. I got the Carolina Panthers. They are seven and a seven-and-a-half point dog at home against Buffalo. Red rifle. Keep it. Red rifle.

Revenge game against the Bills. I like that. I like them in the cover. Are you kidding me? The cover, not to win. I got the Detroit Lions.

You are on a buy. Congratulations. No one's happy for you.

That's actually not me.

Mike Ryan is going now.

I got the Chicago Bear.

Live dog against the Ravens. No Lamar this week. I like that.

At Baltimore, they're plus six and a half.

They removed the ping-pong tables from the Ravens locker room. Oh, shit.

But is Lamar still there?

I think he's coming back. I don't think so.

Think about what you guys just did there. He's coming back because Chicago is a six and a half point dog, even though they're four and two against one and five Baltimore.

I like that. A one and five team that's a six and a half point favorite. I like that.

At the San Francisco 49ers, they're at CJ Stroud and the Houston Texans.

The Texans are one and a half point favorite. You hate the Texans, you're happy to be on the other side of the Texans.

Yeah, I think this is an upgrade. Mccorkle. Let's see. I got the Tampa Bay Bucaneers. They are at New Orleans.

They are on New Orleans. Four and a half point favorite at New Orleans.

Yeah, I'm going to keep them.

This is my last week of the Gordon Helmets.

Jeez, I thought you were leaving, too. Oh, wow.

You scared me. You scared me. It sounds like you're making your announcement.

That's how-Living to go where?

This is my last week. This is how you would do it. What the hell am I going?

This is my last week. Oh, shit, Roy.

Going to the Hockey News.

I got the bears now. I'm putting that back. Hey, where's your mouthpiece?

Where's your mouthpiece?

I'm fine, man.

Your Dentec mouthpiece.

I got the Stealers. Three and a half for an other dog at home.

Against Green Bay?

I'll keep her. That game is going to be really hard to look at. You're in big trouble. Both teams wearing gold, garish uniforms from the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Hey, I like that, man. Was that your Nixon? Who was that? What was that impersonation?

Gruteny, man. Garish uniforms.

I got the Saints.

Let's go back. Me and you. You want to switch with me? No, I'm saying I got the books.

There's no switching. No, no, no. We can switch. No, no, no.

I got the books. He's got the Saints. We have a little friendly wager, me and you.

Nope, I'm putting that back.

Oh, scared Jack.

I got the Washington Commander. You got Marcus Mariota, pal, against the Kansas City Chief.

You should have gone with me, buddy. What would it mean to be worth your while?

I got the Dallas Cowboys. Do I want the Dallas Cowboys. They are on the road at Denver. I do not want the Denver Cowboys.

Plus three and a half.

How did I get them again?

Because you're terrible at putting something in rummage. You did that with the browns last week.

You did the rummage. This is the second time this season.

This is why you rummage. A truly awful rummage. You got to rummage.

You want to switch? I don't think that that's the way that that's supposed to go. A shower rummage.

It's a possibility. That's why we say, put it back in.

It's always possible. I want to get to some sound here. Please turn that off. Our thanks to Dentec for sponsoring the bucket. I have told you before that I was grinding my teeth at night and I was having some issues with-I don't think I've lost this year. With TMJ, and this was very helpful. If you're having any of those issues where you know that you're grinding your teeth or you don't know that you're grinding your teeth, but you feel some soreness in your jaw, Dentec will take care of you.

Tony hasn't lost this year.

He meant I don't think I've lost this year. He thought it was very important to interrupt that. I think he thought his mic was off.

It was so genuine. Somebody turned this mic back on. I don't know what happened.

He was so interested in that, and it was not in any way interesting.

Dan was telling about his grinding, and all of a sudden, I haven't lost this week.

I'm really happy for you. Just a A straight interesting fact only to-Undefeated. Toni, yes. The thing that I wanted to play for the audience, though, Joe Flacko, and I don't know, I feel like I've got a group of people here who are self-conscious about eating alone. Put it on the poll at Levitard Show. Are you self-conscious about eating in a restaurant alone? I never have been, but just what happened to me the other day because I was eating in a restaurant alone, and then someone recognized me, and I realized that without the buffer of having somebody with me, people can take inappropriate amounts of your time because you're alone. I don't really have an excuse. If my food is in front of me and I'm eating alone and there's nobody else around, I have no buffers from somebody just sitting down comfortably if they're willing to do the thing of the day, which is if you have no shame, you'll get whatever you want. The person just sat down across from me because I was eating alone. No. Yes.

Did it say like, Hey, can I sit here?

No.

When they sat down, what did you say?

I'm never going to be anything other than polite to anybody who's a fan of the nonsense that we do because it's our customers. So I sat there and I ate with him. How long did they stay? About 20 minutes.

What did you guys talk about?

The show. Okay. Yeah, the show. You know what? One of the things, and This one happens to me all the time. This conversation is one that I have all the time with strangers, and it happens just like this. Cody really doesn't understand the show, huh? I'm like, No, he still doesn't understand it after 20 years.

I'm getting it.

That's a real thing with Greg Cody. What did they think of me? Yeah, you didn't come up. Joe Flacko was eating alone, and he's got a take on eating alone that is the wisdom accrued by the aged, the wisdom accrued by kids who buy the Jameer gives Jersey instead of rooting for you, their father, who's in a game. He's got wisdom accrued of, I like eating alone. You know why? Because my family's not there.

I think there's always a challenge of sitting in a room by yourself and being lonely. So for me, it's trying to find ways to maybe stay over here a little bit longer and then just take myself out of that mindset, call home, I go sit at a restaurant by myself and realize that, man, that's pretty enjoyable to do.

There's not too many situations.

I tell people all the time. I mean, I used to see guys sitting at a bar by themselves or just sitting by themselves eating and grabbing a little meal.

And I'm like, Man, I feel so bad for that guy. You almost want to go join him.

And now I realized that dude was in heaven.

It's so true. I love eating by myself.

You just love eating.

I do love eating.

I've never seen a guy eating by themselves and just wanted to join them.

You never thought it's sad, though? I'm with you on not wanting to join them, but it does convey like, Oh, they're alone.

I was at an Italian restaurant in Chicago a few months back, and there was a dude that dressed up, was wearing a collared shirt, took off a blazer, sat down, treated himself to a nice Sunday, red sauce Sunday. Took himself on a date. Date yourself. I was like, Man, this guy is a king.

This is a place, I believe, where people listening will separate on what they believe about this, because I do remember being in a restaurant with Moises Alou, and Craig Council had just been traded over the Marlins, and Moises Alou was looking at Craig Council eating in the restaurant by himself, and he just said under his breath, That poor guy. Everyone listening to this has an opinion on this. There is an opinion on how you feel about the person eating alone at the restaurant. I do believe it matters whether you have kids or not, because as we've learned around here, many of you go to the bathroom to hide from your kids. Like many of you around here, this is a trick in these circles, and I'm not a very good one. I'm going to read for 45 minutes, and my family might think I have stomach problems, but I just have, I don't want to be around my family problems.

Is there a difference in sadness in eating alone at a booth by myself and at the bar?

Because You can't sit in the booth by yourself.

Bar, 100%, never sad. Bar's awesome. If I'm at a booth alone, that's sad? Yeah.

If you're not sitting at the bar, you got to sit at a table that's a table for two, but you're by yourself, that's okay. You can't sit at the booth by yourself.

I like a booth.

What if there's It's an empty restaurant, so I had my choice, and I'm like, I'll take a booth?

Yeah, I don't want to... Sticky elbows. I don't want to go to the bar.

Really? You prefer the booth.

Are you not familiar with my brand? Don't talk to me.

You mentioned that was just a character earlier in the show. You got penalized for that.

Blur the lines. Work, shoot. You never know.

This is from Chris Vanini on Twitter. Within a week, we've had a major jewel heist, a mafia-involved poker ring, and sports gambling corruption. We're all living in the 1920s. I fully expect Prohibition to fall upon us here in the next- It feels more like the late '30s, early '40s. Can you get me the sound, please? Forgive me for not knowing who this suit was who got in front of us and gave this press conference that he practiced in a mirror last night. But I just want you to imagine this on a Schwarzenegger movie poster as he comes out as the local DA to tell some athletes that all of a sudden they're gambling in sports terms is going to end up with them holding a losing hand.

Your winning streak has ended. Your luck has run out.

There was another sentence, though, to that discount. I want the third sentence because he absolutely hit three notes there.

And you can bet on that.

He nailed it.

And you can bet on that.

When he practiced it the night before, he definitely thought this would be a round of applause, right?

Did he practice it wearing the dress shirt, the tie, but no pants? Did he practice it- Classic look with the boxers only.

And again in the morning doing the necktie.

And you can bet on that.

Does he have... He's got beige dress, socks on, and the dress shoes. Only thing So your missing is the pants, correct?

Yeah, stirrups to hold up the socks.

Your winning streak has ended.

Thank you. That's about the only stuff from that press conference that I want to hang on to. I also, though, want to go back to what it is that's happening at this point in the career of Joe Flacko, where I've always thought that he has the personality of a dry cleaning bag, just starch. But now I love him because he's a human robot.

It says a lot about aging. No, he has found his personality. Every time... He's had a great clip a week in front of the press when he's made available. He speaks. It's refreshing when you're- Opposite to a tua. He's not necessarily worried about what he's going to say because he knows he's not going to say anything like tua that will hurt his team. He's just been a fount of knowledge. I'm like, I never in a million years would have thought, Man, I want to see Joe Flacko in the media. And now I'm like, put him in the Monday Night Booth.

Well, one of the things that I'm enjoying about Joe Flacko, and he seems to realize just how precious this is, because I've talked to so many athletes who don't realize this until after they're done. He is absolutely carrying himself with the gratitude of, Oh, I can't believe I get to throw to T. Higgins and Jamal Chase at the end. I get to throw a couple more footballs to good receivers. And he's carrying himself as if he knows he's got the fountain of youth in his locker where he's just super grateful to be able to play when so often these guys leave the game and they're like, Why didn't I enjoy it more? I didn't know what I had in my hands.

He's articulated that. I know Tee Higgins and Jamar Chase help matters, but he's always been grateful to still be playing at a level where he feels he belongs in the league because he loves playing these games. He feels blessed to be doing it, and he articulates it in ways that you don't often hear.

It's a funny thing, though, to hear him be grateful just because at that age, it must really hurt when the 300 pounder lands on you and you've had 200 of those hits.

Not just that. It must hurt when you're a former Super Bowl champion and you're being churned out through the league. The Jets didn't want you. They wanted Tim Boyle over you. You're doing a pit stop in Philadelphia. You're Cleveland twice. You don't have to be doing that. A lot of the stuff when guys reach this age, and yeah, they may be able to play at a level like Flacko, they don't want to swallow their pride. I'm a Super Bowl champion. What do I got to be third string on the depth chart? Joe Flacko is just blessing to be still in camps.

It is a bit crazy, though, when you think about he still got the hose. That game against Pittsburgh, I'm not kidding you. When I tell you that was as confusing a game as I've this season, it's not just because Pittsburgh is not good at defense, and I expected them to be good at defense. I didn't expect the Cincinnati offense to look like it was led by Joe Burrow if it wasn't Joe Burrow leading the offense. I did not expect it to look that easy when I'm watching every quarterback in the league throw for 150 yards.

Does Jake Browning stink or does the Cleveland offense stink?

Jake Browning stinks, but you talk about Flacko. He got there in a week and was like, Yeah, I got the offense. Throw to these two guys.

Well, but he targeted. What was the target rate on Jamar Chase? Was he through to him? But it's not just 23, it's 23. And he's always open on the shallow route. He's open by... Everything was super easy, weirdly easy. Offense is no longer easy in that league. Who's making... Look, man, for 18 weeks, I don't care what you say, the Chief's offense wasn't making it look easy. They made it look very easy before that. They're making it look very easy the last couple of weeks. But for 18 weeks, Patrick Eric Mahomes was not making it look easy.

In those 18 weeks, they made it a Super Bowl.

But it looked constipated on offense. You're not going to dispute me on that, right?

No, in fact, I was not disputing that. I was just saying they need guys back.

But Joe Flacko looking all of a sudden like Better than the Detroit offense. You guys give me maybe Baker Mayfield and Sam Darnold in a shootout. Give me all the offensive days you've seen this season that looked as easy as what Cincinnati made it look like against Pittsburgh.

Pittsburgh and Jets week number one. That was it.

Justin Fields looked incredible against Pittsburgh. Crap defense.

Buffalo and the Raven.

I see those uniforms, though, and I'm like, That has to be a good told.

I understand you see those uniforms, but trust me, Joe Flacko's got stinkers up his sleeve. He's going to look pretty bad.

He'll throw three and four interception games. That's what's been the case the last couple of years, why you're not going anywhere if he's your number one starter, except he can get you to Burrow. He can do that. He can give you two or three games. If you're going to get the three interceptions from Browning anyway, go top end and see if you can get them from Flacko.

That's the one last job. That's like, Do you still have it, Joe? Get me to Joe Burrow with a chance to make the play-off. That is all you have to do. You don't have to run a table. You don't have to set passing records. You just got to basically go 500 the rest of the way. Can you do that?

You mentioned that Flacko is press conference you want to see. Zadzlo was saying that now that two of press conferences are must see, but for all the wrong reasons.

He was asked why he didn't target Jalen Waddle more. I think with that, some of it has to do with being able to see guys, with their guys also up front and our guys. I'm not the tallest guy in the back there either. So being able to see and then sometimes when that happens, you don't want to just throw it blindly. I want to throw to them, but they're tall in front of me and I don't see him.

I don't want to throw it blindly, but then I threw three pics blindly.

But I really want you to think that I know what I'm doing here. So I'm going to talk. I really think that they're just tall, so I just... I don't see them.

Is that your tua?

That's my tua.

I work on that. It's not terrible.

It's more of the tone of like, I'm saying something really important.

You have the cadence. You have the cadence sound.

Because I'm really just trying to sound smart.

It's the same thing a sixth grader would say if I threw him on an NFL football field and said, Why didn't you throw to Waddle? I couldn't see him. Those guys are really Look, I know over the last few weeks, you guys have been worried about my brains and my approach to the game.

I just want to remind you, I also have physical limitations. I can't do half of Josh.

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