Transcript of Postgame Show: The Doritos Lie (feat. JuJu Gotti)
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I'm old enough to remember when the 40-point game in basketball used to mean something. Now, all of a sudden, first time in NBA history as four different players opening the season with 40-point game in the same year. It doesn't mean anything anymore.
I'll be honest. The game was moving too fast for me last night. I don't mean like I couldn't actually keep up.
All the games are heat magic.
Definitely heat magic. What I mean by that is just I feel like the things that are happening in front of you the first three quarters, it doesn't mean as much when it's moving that fast. It's like, All right, let's just wait till the fourth quarter where it slows down a little bit and the possessions mean something. I felt the game was too fast. It's how it used to be when you would get to the playoffs, right? It was the pace between the regular season and the postseason. Now it's literally in-game for the first, second, and third quarter into the fourth quarter. I love It was the fourth quarter of heat magic last night.
But the first three quarters, like...
We're going to be doing Thursday Thunder here in a second with Juju. But I would imagine that most of the games went over last night, that there was just a ton of scoring everywhere, and that they're going to readjust the totals in these games because it felt like all of the games were going way over on point totals and that the scoring was totally insane. We're going to get to Juju in a second. But before we do that, I just want Jeremy to give us all the things that we could have done better yesterday before Juju gets to all the things we could have done better today.
Glad we waited until the postgame for this. Oli, we spoke about the truly pathetic dolphins in 12 different ways, including the second conversation we've had about whether or not Steven Ross is a good owner or a bad owner before we ever got to the debut night of Basketball NBA on NBC. Number five, we only spoke about one single player from that in the first two hours of the show, and it was Kevin Durant, only in comparison to Brad Marshawn's legacy. It was a weird- That was so weird. What were you guys doing? Number four. I can't believe he had Luca at the top of the MVP when Wemby exists. Luca had Wemby 3, 12, and 9. It's Wemby? With a team of nobodies. I was with you, Tony. It was Wemby before the season. It was Wemby the day the season started. It was Wemby the day the season started. It will be Wemby all season long, and it will be Wemby until the day he retired. How could you be the NBA MVP when you have zero games played? Exactly right. That was Wemby. Thank you. Number three. This guy sucks. Was calling me the witty of Pablo is supposed to be an insult?
Like, Dan, why did you make me treat him that way? I was pretty flattered by that, actually. Luca was definitely the MVP after Tuesday night. That's indisputable. I think they're both annoying. I don't find them annoying. Number two, I can't believe in me and ask Jess, When's the last time you've been to the mall? I love the mall. The mall's great. You ever just walk around the mall, get a little Wetzel's Pretzels or Annie-Ann's, and just scroll?
And You missed the joke, though. It was the chair company. They were doing an inside joke on the mall.
No, I mean, I get it, but it's still... Number one, whoever choreographed that basketball is Jack, back Jack video, really talented, probably deserves a raise, and definitely very handsome.
Undeserving number one. I regret bringing... You know what?
We got a major penalty on Jeremy. Five minutes for being Jeremy.
Going to get to Juju's Thursday Thunder. It cashed. Juju cashed a Thursday Thunder. He went three for three last week.
No, I went four for four, my brother. I'm sorry.
You had that Bingo Stealers game. You were all over that Bingo Stealers game. Let's do it. He's got a hot streak going, Sorry, I am sorry I've insult you, Juju, by getting my facts wrong.
That's right. It's Thursday Thunder, and it's presented by DraftKings. Draftkings, the Crown is yours.
Toga, tuga, tuga, tuga, tuga, tuga, tuga, tuga, tuga, tuga, tuga, tuda, tuda. You know what that is? The Thursday Thunder winning tickets on the tracks right now for your boy. I'm going to go ahead. I'm going to stop out of talking and get It's great to it. Tonight, I'm going with my brother Justin Jettas for over 5. 5 catches. Tonight from Carson Wentz. Part 2. I'm going with my other brother, T. J. Hawkinson for over 3. 5 catches from Big O. Carson Wins. Tonight. T. J.
Hawkinson has been spooky lately. If Addison's come back and he's demanded a bunch of targets from that team that Hawkinson was getting, I'm a little spooked by that, Juju.
Yeah. Guess what? Tis the season, baby. Hey, he's spoking season. Change us out next week. And the last leg, I'm going with the biggest fantasy sensation right now. If you haven't added him to your tight-end depth list, beat your friends right now and get him right now. I'm going with Orandae Getson for over 4. 5 catches tonight. Lock it in.
I like all of those, actually. I like a lot of throwing tonight. The Chargers got to win that game, don't they? Wearing the uniforms, they are. They've got the best coach in history, according to Zazlo.
Was that Yoda you just did?
At Lebitard Show is where it is you vote on the polls. Roy, can you get me real quick the names that the FBI is giving their dual investigations, practicing in a mirror, giving speeches? What are the names of these investigations?
All right, for the Sports Betting operation, this is Operation Nothing But Bet. And for the Illegal Pokering, Operation Royal Flush. That's a good one. Your winning streak has ended.
At Levatard's show, On the Polls, Juju, that guy was practicing those lines. He had three lines to deliver, and that whole press conference was just to get off these three lines.
Your winning streak has ended. Your luck has run out, and you can bet on that.
He petered out at the end. He was a little scared. The inflection I didn't like there.
Play Play the inflection one more time. You can bet on that. It's almost like he got a sentence from another paragraph and put it in there. You got to emphasize the that at the end. On that. It's a top cop right there. You can bet on that.
You got to have more confidence. It's more gravitas.
The moment is huge. You got to meet the moment.
Bet on that. That's right. Very well done, Tony. Yes, you got to point at a camera. You got to give an index finger.
Yeah, once you give the index finger, that shows strength and power.
A finger gun. It sounded like Chris Cody at the end of a read where he's just leaking confidence after he stumbled a couple of times.
That's better than when I try to say hi to guests.
At Levitard Show on-Hi, Rachel. On the Poll Questions. What do we have today, Juju?
I'm also willing to bet that that FBI agent, he was practicing that speech while watching Blazer's Wolves last night go down to the wire. You're like, Oh, another loss for my boy.
Your winning streak has ended.
Should Terry Rozier be arrested for his field goal percentage? 95% of the audience says, Yes, he should. Damn it.
It's not even innocent until proven guilty. No need for due process. Just straight to jail.
Should betting on your team to win be legal for professional athletes? 69% of the audience says, Yes, it should. Thank you. Thank you. Nice.
It's incentive for my team to win. I'm trying to coach them. I'm trying to play good. That's the end of the game. The money's not enough.
Are you self-conscious about eating in a restaurant alone? 73% of the audience says, No, they are not. Oh, good confidence. Also, my autobounds on me today, Coach. I missed the Rachel Nichols poll. It was something to do with nacho cheese Doritos. I missed that one, but I was baffled.
Dan, for the 10th time, wanted red versus blue Doritos put on the... In show history, I think that's probably been up there six or seven times. I'm not going to lie. In our show's history. Not going to lie.
I go red.
I go blue.
Blue. I'm not going to lie. I have breaking news. I'm reporting news. Rachel Nichols may have told us a fib earlier. I'm not sure. Either she told us a fib or she told me a fib. Back when I was asking questions at NBA All-Star Game a couple of years ago, red Doritos or blue Doritos. Her answer was, she doesn't eat Doritos. She only eats fritos. I'm not saying. Check your sources.
The human palate changes every seven years. That is true.
Yeah, that is true. Last poll. Should Terry Rozier be afforded due process for his field goal percentage? Your winning streak has ended. 67% of the audience says, No, he should not be. And those are your posts.
If you were throwing games for the Hornets, how would anyone be able to prove it? I did not know that the Purple Dorito is better than the Blue or the Red Dorito.
Damn good Dorito. It's a damn good Dorito. Burrito.
Yes, sir.
What happened there? Did I say burrito? I think you did. I couldn't have said burrito.
"Is that a Yoda you just did?"
JuJu's here with corrections for today's show and to update the polls, but he also wants to launch an investigation based on something from the previous hour.
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