Transcript of Hour 1: That's Hard Time's Daddy
The Dan Le Batard Show with StugotzThis is the Dan Levatore Show with the Stukatz podcast.
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But thank you, Roy. Yeah, you got it. That was nice. I appreciate you allowing me to go ahead. Back to you, Dan. Yeah, thank you. I appreciate that. Zazlo, you've been wanting We're going to talk about Howard Stern for a week. People have been wondering how it is and where it is that a radio icon has been because he gets very long vacations. He is part of a dying medium, but behind a paywall at SiriusXM, he has kept an industry alive because of all of his power and reach. And he just signed a five-year contract extension today after doing one last bit here where Andy Cohen pretended like something had happened to Howard just because he was sick for a week and delayed his return. The people who follow Howard Stern do so with such loyalty that they keep in industry something that's behind a paywall that he doesn't feel like he can even quit because he's holding up a great deal of SiriusXM with his constituency. You've been wanting to talk about this for a week. He returns today and signs up for five more years where he'll have a huge vacation and spend a lot of time complaining about not wanting to be on the air.
It's funny because he did his show today. He finally returned after they did a bit where Andy Cohen did, I think it was a pre-recorded bit, as if he took over the show and people were free. Variety magazine put out a story and a tweet that Howard, he's gone. Andy Cohen's now. That was very embarrassing. But also, how embarrassing for some of these publications over the last couple of weeks who were reporting that he's being fired. He just think the five-year extension. It was funny because on the show today, he's talking about, Even if I wanted to retire, I can't now. With all the reports, I have It seems to be a long running bit where he's being forced to stay.
Someone forced his hand to sign this extension. This is every five years he does this. I wish I could quit. Charles Barkley. I can't quit right now. I wish I could.
That's a great shout by Billy. It's the Charles Barkley thing.
I mean, an out in your contract. Your contract expiring means you don't actually have to.
This whole thing feels so calculated to me. It's a publicity stunt, right? I mean, where's Howard? Howard was supposed to be back on today.
Where is he? And still, I will not dismiss the forever reinventing of yourself. In your '70s, you could be this valuable in a artifact media that you helped change with some shock jock stuff that still, even though people make fun of where his politics are now and how he's gotten overrun by the young men in the Rogan sphere, still monster-relevant at a place that's behind a paywall that's keeping up in the streaming game with everybody else, and now is still trying to replace him with what feels like a radio lineup of Stephen A. Smith and Katie Nolan and them trying to keep up in the modern age when behind a paywall, his radio is not the most modern of ways to make business, but he is an icon who's reinvented himself over four decades. That's not up for dispute by anyone.
No, of course not. It was interesting, though, these last couple of weeks while he was gone, and then another week where he delayed his return and just all the talk about him being irrelevant and he doesn't matter anymore. I mean, look, this is an all-time radio giant who it feels like he's never going away. He's in his 70s. He's 73 years old.
He's older than I am, for crying out loud.
And he has more time off than anybody because he can, because he is his own industry. Almost no one has that power, although, Conan O'Brien begins to accrue it now in the shadow umbrella of what Howard built over there when they revolutionized media.
The Andy Cohen thing was a good bit. It was a good idea.
Well, it fooled a lot of people.
Yeah, I saw it first. I'm like, This seems like acting a little bit. Is this a work or is this legit? Because it did lean into all the uncertainty surrounding. The biggest bit of uncertainty was probably him delaying his return a week because you assume, What's going on here? Are they trying to get some exit in place? I thought it was a cool idea to stay relevant. People were talking about him today. Can he continue that discussion? Can he use this established narrative that he's done? And look, he went woke and now he's going broke. The five-year extension thumbs its nose at that. But what voice will Howard Stern have at this stage of his career? You cited the manosphere. His voice doesn't resonate with a younger audience. His audience is aging with him. How much influence does that audience now have?
Well, we now know, though, that the echo chambers, all of them, if you've a giant loyal audience and contingency, and you take it with you from place to place, you have enormous value. And so his audience, though older, there's no disputing that. It's been overrun. The podcast sphere has been overrun by an assortment of young comedians who have altered everything up to and including a presidential election because some of them in the young man's fear fed bad information to young people who weren't thinking for themselves. Then Andrew Schultz recused themselves from any of it. By backing off, Howard Stern is an artifact from a different time. There is no disputing that. But value is not up for dispute either, because I'd love to see the numbers on what that five-year extension is. They are trying to help him keep up with Mad Dog and with Conan O'Brien, and it's hard to keep up behind a paywall as the streaming game changes and everyone's in the podcast industry. I saw a podcast. Mike, I don't even know what this is. I saw Shaquille O'Neill talking to, I think it was Kendrick Lamar, Tom braided, Dana White on the roof of something because everyone's come to the podcast here saying, I'll make daily shows.
I don't know what that was. You asked, I haven't seen that, but I assume that the number's lower, possibly much lower. Otherwise, the number would have been out there.
But he's not going to keep doing it into his late '70s.
He stands to reason that the number would be lower given how often he actually shows up, which is fewer and further between the deeper he gets into this career.
He's got the whole summer off.
At 71, if they say, You know what? Let's give you 40 million instead of 100 million, you're like, No, I can't live off $40 million.
It was obviously a good enough deal for Howard, who says he wish he could quit but can't right now. For him to still take the money, it's got to be worth his time. He's made a ton of money. But that wasn't the only thing going for an older audience. Last night, the VMAs tried to get us back. Really? Yeah. Dan, I don't know if you broke your 15-year streak of not watching award shows last night.
Mike, this is the first time hearing that the VMAs were last night.
That's impossible. That's impossible. I didn't know. That's impossible. They were advertising it in-game on your NFL slate. I didn't know.
There was a guy in my bathroom for it for the past week.
I didn't see it.
It's impossible. You're just a liar. The VMAs were simulcast on CBS. This is the first time in the history of the VMAs that they've done that, and it took the 60 minutes time slot. So there's two pretty big heads up that- Mike, I was watching nothing but Red Zone yesterday.
Yes, but this was after that.
No one believes you. The commercials were out of control on Red Zone.
I didn't know. Out of control on Red Zone. I didn't see it. No one believes you.
Every CBS game had multiple- Why?
What's different about our experience is that me, Roy, and Zaz are all telling you we didn't know it was last night.
You're just calling us liars, and we're not lying.
What do I have to gain by telling you I didn't know the VMAs were last night?
Who cares? Even Greg knew.
Greg, you two are just lying.
You're just lying. Anyways, so the VMAs were there, and they were very clearly trying to get us back, us by the MTV generation. Even Dan, they were trying to grab you back. Ll Cool J was hosting. There was a run where Jessica Simpson was a presenter, and Busta Rhymes was performing. Busta Busta. And Ricky Martin performed.
In a tribute to Aussie.
The tribute to Aussie where Steven Tyler and Joe Perry showed up. They tried to recreate the magic of Youngblood's Aussie tribute across the pond. He did a couple of Aussie numbers.
I wish I knew it was on.
You actually knew a ton of the people who were featured in this show. They created new awards just to give more old people awards. In the lead up to this, MTV was showing, Oh, the Mariah Carey thing was rough. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, but that didn't mean it wasn't so rough.
Who's the host? Let's not walk and sing.
Ll Cool Jay.
She should be standing still when she sing.
Whose idea is it to have her walk? It's just so awkward. She can't be walking anymore.
Whose idea was it to have her walk?
She can't walk.
How's she supposed to get around?
She can't walk.
Who can't walk? Should she crawl? She can't walk?
She can't walk without it being super awkward. Well, there are theories, but there was even one time where she was The plan was for her to walk across the stage and her hand had to be held. It was- She's dainty. It was very... No, Ariana Grande introduced her. She's dainty. Mariah's got something else going on. But it was actually a It was a pretty cool show, and they played to all the miscellaneous- Wait a minute.
Hold on. Go ahead.
Cameras did not catch that.
No, please. Greg Cody, you're doing a visual here. Greg Cody is taking from the ways that you're describing this.
That's not the way that Have you been describing Mariah?
Look, he is doing what I believe is the universal symbol. Everyone should see it.
Guys, that was plenty reckless. We don't need to go there and fixate on it. All right?
I don't know what you're talking about.
What I'm talking about is the same thing that's been talked about Mariah Carey for 25 years.
Glass house over here, thrown stone.
These are not new allegations when it comes to Mariah Carey being able to just walk and act a certain way. What? Are you guys just learning about this?
Like a diva.
Yeah, like a diva.
That's her stick.
Yeah. No, that's what I'm talking about. Either way, it was pretty- I didn't say a word.
Why did you make this awkward, dad?
I didn't say a word.
You accused her of drinking. No, I didn't. What?
Drinking? What are you talking about?
You accused... That's the symbol that you...
No, that's not a symbol.
What was it?
You were saying she was throwing them back.
That's unfair.
I was going like this over my shoulder to refer to somebody back there.
That's not fair. It's just because someone can't talk the same way that they used to and can't walk without assistance doesn't mean that they're- Exactly. That they've got something else going well.
I didn't do that. Roy, We need to settle down here and have Mike stop complaining about us lying to him. Me and Zazlo and Roy- Why would I lie?
That's what we don't know.
Are not lying to you. I guess we were watching... Maybe I watch commercials more passively than you do, okay? Because when I'm in the red zone, I'm not watching commercials.
Yeah, we were yesterday, a whole minute of them.
I didn't see commercials yesterday, is what I'm telling you, the way that I was watching Red Zone I didn't see any commercials for the VMAs. Is there anything else here worth talking about instead of the reckless things we're saying about Mariah Carey?
Yeah, I think it's pretty cool. Also, have you ever seen a 60 Minutes in-game promo? Yeah. Okay. In place of the 60 Minutes in-game promos, were the VMA promos, You Guys are Liars.
All I'm saying is they should have done a little bit of promotion for the VMA.
Just incredible. Just sizable liars. Here's the news, though. They had the Ticken Stopwatch. That's how I noticed it.
Here's the news. The idea that someone's award it, the Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award, and you guys unaware that it's happening is insane to me.
I mean, we don't believe them. Insane.
Liar, pants on fire.
They gave Busta Rhymes a something called the Rock the Bells legend.
It was just because they wanted to get old people over there to watch it. They gave Ricky Martin the Latin American legend award.
Who was he up against?
Well, that's the thing about a legendary award. You're not up against anybody. They just bring you over here. By the way, Ricky Martin, he did a great compilation of his... He does look great. He They had six songs. People were out of their seats.
Six songs?
Yeah. A medley one.
Medley. Yeah. Busta did, too. It was awesome. It was a great show. For me, the news is, is this setting up something to come? Is MTV finally getting away from trying to be for the kids, realizing it's never going to be that, and just trying to get the people that are now in their 40s and above to rekindle some of that magic.
You know what they should do? You know what would really help? Doing a little promotion so I knew it was on.
Power 96 did, by the way. Now, it's just throwbacks. Evy's still there.
You've lived long enough in this market to see Power 96 just punt on being contemporary and just said, In our glory days, we had a core audience just like Howard. We're just going to cater to that core audience. I'm thinking maybe just maybe MTV has made this decision because it was aggressive and overt how they were trying to get people north of 40 to watch this. I don't know if that was just because of the CBS simulcast, although the CBS simulcast in itself was an admission, we're done trying to get teenagers, we're trying to get their parents.
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I may take it one step further. Wait a minute.
We haven't... Wait a minute. You're getting sexy about the moment. Slow down. Slow down. We haven't even gotten. Stugatz.
Jason Sanders, you're unnoticed.
Oh, my God.
What in spite of him.
Oh, wow.
I love you, Duke.
This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugats.
Roy, I've got a top five football things that I'm not even going to be able to to because we've got too many other football things to talk about. So number five, and I've got an Oli to this list as well because there's just no time to talk about all of the football things from yesterday. So Oli, Debo Samuel looks weird in Washington. Again, these are just things I'm not going to have time for. This is also O-L-I. It's weird, and I wasn't expecting it. I don't understand it. It's confusing to me. Young Waikou, I'm not used to him missing those. Don't have time for anything involved with that Saints game.
Wasn't a bad game.
It was competitive.
Don't have time for anything in that Jags Panthers game. All still OLA. These are all Oli.
A lot of Oli.
Trevor Lawrence.
Also Oli. The 49ers are going to really miss George Kittle, but they've got the easiest schedule in the Don't have time for any of that.
Seattle should have won that game.
Don't have time for that either. Don't have time for Raiders Patriots. None of it, even though Gino Smith, probably we should talk about that. I think they're going to be good at offense. But we don't have time. Don't have time to talk about any of that.
He's not hurt for long.
Number five thing I don't have time to talk about. Penix's first down run at the goal line. That's number five. Number four, Penix's insane physicality of stretching out like that on fourth down to actually get to the goal line.
The broadcasters were stunned with the-I defied physics.
People forget three yards is nine feet. You can't just lay down on one three-yard line and get to the goal line. It's nine feet. That's like dunking a basketball standing up plus minus a foot.
Number three thing I cannot get to, there is no time, is Jake Landman just having what has to be the greatest feeling a defender can have. There's a running back in the open field. I'm not going to try and tackle him. I'm simply going to perfectly punch the football. I'm not playing football. I'm simply punching someone who's coming out after me, and I'm winning the game. In my first game as a big acquisition for a team that still has a quarterback that's Ram tough.
Great series.
I think his name's Nate, but we got it.
It's Landman. Landman. Wow. Landman. No time for it, though. We don't have time for that. Billy Bump, Thornton. Also, don't-Landman.
Yeah, it's a pop culture reference. It's great.
It was on the VMAs last night. You missed it, Dan.
Yeah, we all were there.
Number two, I don't have time to talk about why is Pukenacua bleeding from the eye. Is it the eye? Is it above the eye? Why is there blood all over his face? Number one thing I do not have time to talk about is If it had been in the Super Bowl to end a game or just in a game that people were watching and not at the end of a loss where the lions were embarrassed against the packers, would we be arguing that Tesla made the greatest catch any of us had ever seen in a professional football game? I don't know how to pronounce that person's name. He's got two A's at the end of it. I thought that the catch that he made in that the game, seemed as impossible to me as the one that Odell Beckham made a bunch of years ago, a one-handed catch of straight absurdity. I don't know how he got in bounds.
And then the DeAndre Hopkins one, blew it out of the water.
And the Keynes kid in the opener. C. J. D. Yeah, even better.
No time to talk about any of those things because I want to talk about four-time MVP Aaron Rodgers going into New York and how good that had to feel. It had to feel every bit as good as Garrett Wilson felt bad at the end of the game. Who felt best yesterday? Is it Josh Allen at the end of that game? Knowing that his team, that, yeah, he pulled it out, but we're all washing that and saying, Oh, Baltimore is better than them. Baltimore just ran up and down the field. And if Baltimore didn't have one of the weirdest Achilles heels you've ever seen, which is that a good defense somehow at the end of the game somehow gets trampled again and again to introduce us to Tua, So many fourth quarters ago when he did it to Baltimore and to do it to Baltimore more than any team in the league.
Aaron Rodgers, number one, feels the best about what took place yesterday. And maybe a close second, I think, is Daniel Jones. Daniel Jones is however many years in New York, everyone's telling him he sucks. And the first time he went to a different team... Now look, it was the Dolphins, it was against. But the very first time that he's played on a different team, he had the best game of his career. So I think Aaron Rodgers is one, but I think Daniel Jones is close to number two.
It's got to be Josh Allen. That was an impossible comeback. And I know this is a thing with the Ravens. It's been a thing for several years. Since 2021, they have lost eight games having a 90 % and over win problem. The dolphins did it to them. This is a thing. And they're built to salt the game away. They have the greatest running threat ever at the position that touches the ball every time.
He was averaging 10 yards of carry last night.
I'm not sure how this even happens. And you have to look at the other side of the field and understand, yeah, they did things to blow that game. Josh Allen stole one. He had no business winning that. And yeah, the Ravens are more talented than Buffalo, but they were more talented than Buffalo last year. I think lost in the Lamar Jackson discussion because he's so impressive. He's so great running. He does so many amazing things. But that is as loaded as there is on offense in the league. They have really helped this guy out. There is no excuse for Lamar to not get this done. There is no excuse for Lamar to blow games like that. The other guy is finding ways to win it. Lamar is seemingly finding ways to blow it.
The thing that I would push back about Josh Allen feeling the best yesterday was what we saw from Josh Allen there yesterday. It was just being Josh Allen. Aaron Rodgers was able to say, See my demise. You spoke a little bit too early. I'm still really good. Daniel Jones is like, You think I suck? No, now I'm on a competent team. Josh Allen was being Josh Allen yesterday.
Aaron Rodgers, I could argue, wasn't even the happiest guy in his roster. Jalen Ramsey, that had to It's going to feel pretty good for him yesterday.
Put it on the poll at Levitard's show. Who felt better at the end of yesterday's game, Aaron Rodgers or Jalen Ramsey? It's a great question, Chris, because excellent, sure, four-time MVP. But in that sport, when you've gone from one team to another with the Dolphins, you, as a Dolphin, Jalen Ramsey, you all your life have known how to win. You're really excellent at what you do in disputive You came and offered Miami your services and had problems with just about everyone in the locker room because you know how to win, and not a whole lot of people around you in that locker room outside of Tyreek Hill also know. John O'Smith and him yesterday in Pittsburgh, winning that way. And Jalen Ramsey getting the moment late in his career that is, I'm still more physical, too. And I just robbed Garrett Wilson's in his own stadium to win this game and announced to all of Pittsburgh, Hey, a winner came to town. You guys win. I win. Our MVP quarterback wins. How about we tell a different story than the one Tomlin has been telling on defense 10 wins a season, but can't do anything in the playoffs because at the end, he's getting the most he can out of his team, but he doesn't have historic winners on his team.
They haven't had one of those since Rothlindsberger. And so Jalen Ramsey comes to town, and that's That's how he introduces himself.
It's all the baggage with the Dolphins, and in that game, him and Garrett Wilson almost had gotten to a fight.
So that was just what a feeling. I know we're in love with the multiple-time MVP and the narrative and want to give all the credit to Aaron Rodgers, too. But this is the first time in Aaron Rogers' recent career where he's coming into a set program. We'll tell you who the offensive coordinator is. You're not going to handpick some guy that you're going to keep relevant, all right? Who's going to tell us, Hey, let's just keep Tim Boyle around. You're not going to be raising up the Joe Philbens of the world. You're going to conform to our way of doing things. This is the way it goes. And I actually do think Aaron Rogers is being aided there. He is being boosted by the set culture of Pittsburgh, because if he has a say in who that offensive coordinator is, he has proven time and time again, it'll be some mid-dude. Now, I know people have their opinions about Arthur Smith, but Arthur Smith is a lot better than the Joe Schmoes that he's been putting at OC before.
It It has been something to watch what happened in one game. I think all of us, in all the over analysis around football and where it is the coach is responsible for someone's success and where it is the quarterback is responsible for a coach's success. We've seen what happened with braided and Belichick, and Belichick is now winning his first game and saying more than he ever said as Patriots coach when he's saying, Yeah, the reason that the Patriots aren't invited on our campus is because I'm not invited to their facility. Most revealing quote this man has ever had publicly because he's hurt at the end of his career because it's got a sting to have your quarterback get all of the credit for the success that you contributed to. For Aaron Rodgers, to eat the humbling of your ego is great four-time MVP, and I know you think you can improve a historically dysfunctional organization where the young kids are running things with Woody Johnson. For it to swallow you, you needed Aaron Rodgers to suffer that humbling in order for him to be receptive to all of the things where Pittsburgh can help him as much as he helps Pittsburgh to get a new ending to the rest of his career because he's on a prove it deal.
What you just saw is offense Pittsburgh hasn't had in a decade. They've had skilled guys who can run up and down the field, but down the field is not something I have seen from Pittsburgh in 10 years. It's because they haven't had this quarterback since Rothsberg.
We think the Jets are a good defense.
I think everyone knows the Jets are a good defense.
For all of this, that's why my vote goes to Aaron Rodgers as well for best feeling of the weekend. 41 years old, everybody's writing him off. In one game, he goes from not just being a big name stop gap quarterback for a year, he goes for being a guy that Steelers fans right now think they can win with this guy. He can change this team. He He can be around for a couple of years. He can be braided 2. 0. That's what that opener meant.
It's not just that, though, Greg. I don't think people understand what just happened in Pittsburgh because it's not just that. They're tired of Mike Tomlin because they think where their standard is that 10 and seven is mediocre because it can't win a playoff game. What they just injected into that city, a football city, is inordinate hope because can the offense be that on the road. They still needed a 60-yard field goal in that game. They could have easily lost that game.
That's why I wanted to jump in here, because who knows what these two teams are going to be at the end of the season. And you say their offense hasn't looked like that in 10 years. Well, their defense hasn't looked like that in 10 years. No one was expecting Justin Fields and the New York Jets to move the ball like that on Pittsburgh. So you're saying with certainty, we think the Jets defense will be? I'm not quite sure anymore. I thought It was a weird-ass game. And the defense is going to have to be a hell of a lot better for Pittsburgh for this actually be a real conversation because I'm not sure they fixed all that much. Don Levatard. Greg, how's your birthday going so far?
I invented it. It's going fantastic. My wife and I are staying home tonight. We're watching the debate on TV. We're going to do something special for dinner. It's a nice day for me so far.
Stugatz.
That sounds like not a super nice night, the debate.
Old people love that shit. Yeah.
That's exactly right. Old people do love that shit. I'm old now. I can't deny it anymore.
This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugatz.
It also seems impossible possible for Aaron Rodgers to keep up that pace and do that every week.
So this is a good story for Aaron Rodgers, but I don't think he's going to be able to do that every week. Can I suggest? Can I make a nomination for a person who I think felt the best yesterday? Deandre Hopkins. One-handed TD catch was He was one of two catches. I don't think he cares if they lost. He had that one-handed catch. Everyone wrote him off last year. They said, Oh, wow, he's going to come to Kansas City. He's going to win a Super Bowl with the Chiefs. He was an on factor with the Chiefs. Then he has that one-handed catch for the TD yesterday. I think he had the best day out of everyone yesterday. He didn't care that he lost. If you think DeAndre Hopkins cares whether he won or lost, he didn't care the outcome of that game. He had two catches. Yeah, he had two catches. But you see the one-handed countdown catch? I think yesterday, DeAndre Hopkins considers a win for himself.
I would think he went to Baltimore only to win.
Billy, you're not wrong when you simply say of Aaron Rodgers, because it's the proper analysis. It's one game. I'm merely saying that That's the best way for a one game to go for him, to create the maximum amount of hope about the things that I'm talking about, that Pittsburgh can feel like we're going to be able to win shootouts and not have T. J. Watt need to take the ball from the other quarterback in order to win a game. It couldn't have gone more, hopefully, than it did.
Easy schedule for them to start, too. They have Seattle and New England the next couple of weeks. You're probably three and a half here, Pittsburgh.
That game was all Aaron Rodgers. He had no ground support. I think they ran 25 times for 60 yards or something like that. He doesn't have a Derrick Henry on that team. That's all him.
Gets a little dicey, though, after the page.
Yeah, let's take a look at this thing.
Hosting the Vikings. Then you host the Browns, which two home games, and then you travel to Cincinnati, which that one's anyone's guess.
17 and 0.
I'm listening.
Then you host the packers. They looked good yesterday. Then juggernauts coming to town, the Colts. You don't know what that one's going to play out. Travel across the country to the Chargers.
Now they're a game under.
Now, bangles again. Game under. At Chicago. We haven't seen Chicago yet. Then thePortfolios. All right.
I don't want to- Then the Ravens. I'm sorry. All right, point taken. I'm talking football too seriously. You're doing schedule talks. At Detroit. You have to win one that you're not going to lose.
Is it snack time? It is.
I'm going to interrupt what he's saying.
Last game is the Ravens.
All right, I heard you, okay? But I'm sorry I have to do this to you.
Who's that for?
Minor penalty, two minutes for verbal diarrhea.
Chris?
Get out of here, Chris.
Hit the road, Jack.
That's for you, Billy Gill. For me? Two minutes. Yeah, I'm sorry to do that to you. I'm having the dill peanuts. I really like these peanuts. They've been around the offices here for a couple of days. The flavor ones, I like the hot ones, but look, my mouth's watering. These are good peanuts.
The Hampton Farms peanuts are the best. We are going to have our weekly, Let's see who the Nuttiest Fan is in college football. It's brought to you by Hampton Farms, the official nut of the tailgate. Vote for your favorite nutty fan at Lebitard Show on Instagram. Keep an eye out for Lucy at West Virginia this week if you think you are your team's nuttiest fan. All right, Dan, here's what we got this week. We had a fan with a lemer at the UM game. There was a fan. I don't know if they snuck this in. I don't know if you're allowed to bring this in.
We had a UM- You can't be allowed to bring that in. What are you talking about? No, that can't be the emotional support. I bet it's not on the band list.
You think it says lemer?
We have a UM fan with a lemer and going against an Alabama fan. Now, this was before their last game against UL Monroe. An Alabama fan asked what she will do if she wins the lottery.
I tell you exactly what I'd do with the first 70 million. I'd pay off Calin DeBore and get him the heck out of the University of Alabama, and then I'd take whatever else it took to get rid of the AD. Wow.
That's not what I would do. I'm out on the dolphins right now. If I win the lottery, I'm not putting any of it towards getting rid of Mike McDaniel.
She has different likes than you.
That's true. We have these two fans. What do you think is nuttier, Dan? Bringing a lemer into a stadium or spending your lottery winnings getting a coach out of town?
I think that feels like animal cruelty. I'm sorry because I was chewing into the microphone. I don't think people like that. I think that's an unpleasant thing that we do. Smr.
Asmr.
Whatever.
I heard that crunch, by the way.
Smr? I tried not to eat into the microphone because it's pretty disgusting eat into the microphone, but these are delicious.
Delightful Hampton Farms peanuts.
They also trigger for me a childhood thing because the peanut was the greatest of the delicacies in my childhood. It's sporting events, fun. It's baseball games with my father. It's being able to throw things on the floor and not have to pick them up. That's the best part.
I used to love going to Roadhouse. Wait, I get to have the peanuts and just throw it on the floor?
But you can't bring a lemer into your stadium. That seems bad for the A lemer. I don't care what we're doing with- The lemer seemed to be enjoying itself. No. You think an animal in a bag is going to be happy to be with 80,000 roaring people?
Did you see that pass that Carson Beck had to C. J. Daniels?
The lemer seems intrigued.
It wasn't 80,000, was it, Mike? You're very happy with Carson Beck's accuracy. You should be.
That lemer doesn't seem freaked out at all.
Lemer sounds like a car. I drive a 1978 Ford lemer. You do this all the time.
I am very excited about Carson Beck in the Miami Hurricanes. They look good. Hey, did you see that Oregon score? How the hell is happening with Oklahoma State?
I told you this last year. They're the worst team I saw anywhere in power football last year.
There were really strong indications.
You got to fire Mike Gunde.
There were really strong indications that he was going to He's pretty gone. In fact, there were people that I trust saying he's pretty gone. And then he had to hail Mary to save his job at the last second.
Do you ever hear anything about football and you're like, I don't trust you because you said people you trust. You get a good nugget and you're like, I don't trust this person.
You can be skeptical.
He was your worst source. Yeah.
I've never thought of it that way.
I didn't want to talk very much college football, but I did. I'm telling you that I was watching last year, Oklahoma State, and I'm like, Oh, my God, they've left Mike Gunde behind. They were supposed to be good last year, too. His whole team is in tatters. And then you see that against Oregon, where they're a 30-point dog, and they're out of the game in the first half. They've got nothing.
That's as bad as you'll see a P-14 look on the road.
And going into the game, Mike Gunde's complaining about, Oh, Oregon, they have so much N-I-L money.
Loser talk. Did you see what happened with Duke over the weekend?
They lost at home to Illinois by 30 points. Illinois is good, right? Yeah.
A quote from Annie Diaz, Illinois does this to everyone. We can slow down a little bit.
He is such a loser.
Duke spent $4 million on their quarterback to establish a crazy quarterback market this offseason.
All for that quarterback- Take the peanuts away from him. I mean, what are we?
All for that quarterback to now be an underdog at his former school against Tulane. Tulane is favored against the quarterback that left there and established a crazy market at $4 million.
You guys didn't see that Orioles game? Jackson-holiday. Nobody cares. Nobody cares about baseball.
Last place, baseball.
Matt Holodey's kid, right?
I mean, the Dodgers are game back. The Dodgers don't look like You see that Clemson game?
That was a little scary for Clemson, huh?
Troy-it's just a guy named Troy. 30-point dog.
A guy named Troy was up 16-0 at Clemson. A Ford Troy.
That's a car, too.
It does sound like a car.
The Ford Lemer. What sounds more like a car? Was it the Ford Lemer?
The Ford Lemer and the Chevrolet Taglioboo.
Yeah. All right. Taglioboo is number one. This is what I want to do. I want to have a contest here for Greg Cody, in which we pair off what he believes to be the best car names that he could produce based on what it is that he believes sounds like a car name. Was it the Ford Lemer? Yeah, Ford Lemur. The Chevrolet Taglioboo.
Actually, I think that's a Ford, too. Let's make it a Ford Lemur versus a Ford Taglibu. All right.
That's good. What was the third one? There was a third one here. You're not going to remember because you're too busy. Troy. The Ford Troy?
No, that's not a Ford. That's not a Ford.
What is it?
What is it, Troy? Chevrolet Troy, maybe.
Maybe a Plymouth?
I think it sounds like a Dodge.
A Plymouth Troy.
Yeah, probably a Dodge.
Dodge Troy. No, I think it's a Plymouth Troy. No?
No.
Do they make Plymouths anymore?
No. I can see a Plymouth Sarkisian.
Oh, I like that.
What about a Dodge Cristobal?
I would drive that. Would you? A Dodge Cristobal. Sounds like a pickup, like an F-150 type thing. Dodge Cristobal. I like that.
Gmc.
One more college football thing before I move to other things. I believe, Mike never said this publicly, but I believe that last week he was going to put the town on alert, University of South Florida over Florida. Billy Napier is in big trouble there, losing that game, losing it that way, and losing it again with another spitting incident, another spitting incident. Like, what the hell? The last 10 days, enter Miami, and finally, there's been some punitive measure from spit that dried up 10 days ago.
You can't play in the League's Cup anymore, Luis Suarez. Oh, wow. Yeah, big deal. Six game ban. Big deal. Now, they do this across the world where you're randomly suspended for competitions that are exclusive to that competition. He's got a Champions League band, but he can just show up with his regular day job on the weekend. But those are competitions that are taken seriously, whereas this is a Leagues Cup, and it's very strange. Did they just lose the Leagues Cup? Yes, but now they're suspended next year. Going forward, Luis Juarez, the next six Leagues Cup games, out. He can't play in those.
They won't even be in this country next year.
Wait a minute. Hold on a second. I don't know what that meant. Hold on a second. Wait a minute. He could be suspended for four years' worth of tournament games?
That's right. That's insane. But be readily available for the next time they take the field.
This is definitely a real league.
Ridiculous.
I was talking about the spitting incident in the Florida game.
I need some water. My mouth's dry.
Not because of the nuts. The nuts water your mouth.
Good news. Marked improvement for Florida, though. They only surrendered seven tackles for loss. That is a huge upgrade over the 11 they surrendered to Long Island last week.
Dan, you see these next three weeks for the Gators at LSU.
Okay, that's a win.
At Miami. That's a loss. Hosting Texas.
That's a loss. I don't got them beating LSU. I was like, wow. It's a win for LSE. It's a win three.
That's hard times, Daddy.
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"Whose idea was it to have her walk?"
The VMAs tried to get us back last night and Mike Ryan was completely reeled in but Zaslow had no idea it was on. Dan has a Top 5 list of things we won't get to from football today, we take a look at the nuttiest fans from the weekend and there was another spitting incident over the weekend. Would you buy a Dodge Cristobal?
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