Transcript of Hour 1: PLAYTHINGS

This is the Dan Levatore Show with the Stugats podcast.

We're going to be doing a lot of different stuff in the streets of Miami as the party comes to Miami in college football in a way that is really rare. This has been a championship city in football only because of this team. I know the Dolphins won a long time ago, but it was half a century ago when the Dolphins did the football winning. The quarterback coming in with Indiana is not just the Heisman Trophy winner, a source of great local pride, an overachiever of the highest order, and also statistically great in a way that the NFL and college hasn't seen over a full season. The way he's been, 85 %... I'm going to give the stats again because they're crazy in the playoffs. 85 % are better completion rate and three touch downs. He's had six of those games this season. No other quarterback, college or pro in the last 25 years has done that even four times in a season. What he did at Maryland was truly impressive. I don't mean to degrade this kid when I simply say, when that team went, never mind Ohio State in the game they played against Ohio State, a team that Miami physically dragged.

When they played at Iowa and Penn State and played athletes comparable to Miami's, maybe. I don't think I was our. Penn State's might be. Those were very close games that Indiana could have easily lost this season. The two games that Miami lost instead. Louisville L and SMU as losses. The Penn State, the two games that they had this season that were the most impressive games outside of the ones that you know of Ohio State, obviously, it's Illinois. It's what they did when we thought Illinois was better than they were, and they were ranked. And? And? I'm asking you. I'm going to say Maryland because I like Maryland, but I don't know that the country at large... I liked Maryland all season, and Maryland, I think, ended up losing six games. So my analysis was bad there, just like it was bad on what Texas Tech's offense was, because I thought Texas Tech's offense would be able to do something against Oregon. And so now everybody's looking at the last two games, and I understand this, the betting line move. I will tell you again, Miami should not be a countdown underdog to any team in the country, physically.

It's asinine. It's asinine to make them a countdown underdog because you've been made crazy by what the last two games looked like because they took out a bad Alabama team. I don't care what anybody What he says about you beat Georgia every once in a while, that's as bad an Alabama team as you've had in the last six or seven years. It gets to the playoff, but that's not Alabama. That's just running around in the uniform of a ghost. That's the same thing Georgia was doing this year. That conference was not any good. Lane Kiffin ran that conference with a team that could put up offense because they got a quarterback who's going to go into a six-year and he's going to fight the NCAA and everyone else to the grave to try and get a six-year Mississippi because he'll be the biggest star in college football next year, and that's better than being the of the pros.

And let's be honest. We've been questioning if Oregon's that good the entire season. And I understand what they did in the Orange Bowl against Texas Tech. But still, we could look at the final score 56-22. Oh, my God, Indiana mauled them. Oregon gave that game away. Pick six on the very first play. Then you got the stupid fumble inside the red zone at 21: 7. That game was over immediately. The final score is very, very deceiving.

I believe that Oregon was getting some reputation points. Again, they did something to Texas Tech, so I'm wrong on this one, okay? When they did that to Texas Tech's offense, because I thought Texas Tech was good enough to beat anybody, I'm like, Okay, Oregon must have some defense. So then when I see Indiana do all of that to Oregon, and Fernando Mendoza being as efficient as he is more than any other quarterback, college or pro. I then end up believing in some of the history of Oregon, and I believe it's about time to revisit with the Dan Lanning stuff. Oregon never wins that game. And there's not a reason that Oregon, funded by Nike, would ever be worse than Indiana at NIO. You lost twice to them this season. Indiana's other impressive win is against Oregon. But is Oregon that good?

I don't know. I've been asking all year long, is Oregon that good? I don't know how fair the Dan Lanning stuff is, though. I know they always get smoked in that game, but literally the week before it, they killed Texas Tech. You can't just ignore that, right?

I'd like to ignore it, actually, because of how bad it made me look on what I thought was a team that could physically be with Miami. But there is not a team I have seen that can physically be with Miami. It would look a little bit like Texas. It would look a little bit like Penn State. But when Indiana played Ohio State, you saw what that game was. And a hugely impressive victory, incidentally, to beat the defending champions that way. But they didn't manhandle them the way that Miami did. The thing about the Ole Miss game, to For me, that was the most interesting is I'm watching Miami play a bad football game, sloppy, undiscipline. Trinidad Chamblas should have had four interceptions. It shouldn't have been that we're celebrating Trinidad Chambleau as a new superstar. He should have had four interceptions.

Telling you all week about Trinidad Chambleau, right? Who? This guy.

But Miami won the game anyway because they can beat you a number of different ways. Sometimes it'll be the quarterback's legs because they've spent a lot of money on the quarterback, and this is the one they needed him to win. He's been playing caretaker at the end. In the end of these close games, he needed to be the one that won that. They lost it. I'm telling you, that Louisville game was a fluke. Think about the four interceptions that Miami dropped in its last game. Louisville made three spectacular plays on long ball interceptions against Carson Beck and wrecked his head with a four turnover game. It was three great interceptions, professional plays. You know how many plays I watched this weekend? I'm watching defensive backs drop the ball. Louisville had three great interceptions in that game. Trinidad Chambla should have had... It's four interceptions on 12 hands, off 12 hands. It's not one hand interceptions. There were 12 hands on four interceptions.

It was two hands on a ball in your stomach.

It might have been 14 hands. There might have been somebody else who bobbled it. Lewis Riddick said he's never seen a game like that, and Miami won it anyway. And it's because they're better physically than most of the teams that they're playing against. And it's something that only Lane Kiffin and nick Saban can tell you about as guys who were at Alabama when that was happening. It's super rare for every team in the sport, even the undefeater one, to concede 50 pounds on the line. Indiana is conceding 50 pounds along the defensive line.

They're incredibly well-prepared. They don't make mistakes. They know where stuff is going. They They make incredible breaks on balls. There's an insane stat. They've intercepted the first or second pass of a game four times this season. And they admittedly say they don't do the practice on practice field as much. That's wild.

Yeah, it's pretty crazy. No, Mike says they're cheating.

No, Mike doesn't say that they're cheating. They're cheating? No. Who's to say that they're cheating?

If they're cheating, I want to know.

No, I'm just saying the statistical probability that a team inside the Big Ten is doing some espionage is not slimmer than what we've seen, which is a team picking off the first or second pass in a game four times this season.

If there's cheating, I need to know going into the game. I can't go in blind.

People think that it doesn't matter. Here, I'll tell everybody.

Journalistic credibility and get reckless. Here is something we like to call reckless speculation. You're good.

It's not me. There's other people on the internet that this has been-What are they saying? This has been the thing that's been rumored about Indiana. They're so well-prepared because they might have an idea of what's going on. That's the hearsay, and I'm here to tell you it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter whatsoever. Dan, what do you think Miami is going to do? What do you think Miami is going to do against Indiana?

Hit that egg up, Dan.

They're going to dominate the ball offensive defensively by caretaking the football and running the ball. Right.

Indiana knows that's coming. And all the teams that have played Miami have known that's coming. So everyone will look at this. They're already touting what a coaching advantage Indiana has in this. The whispers and stuff, that's something for Indiana to deal with. That's all right. The defensive coordinator already hopped in my mentions. We're okay.

The whispers?

It's good to know that we're already in there.

The defensive coordinator hopped in your... Defense coordinator for IU? Yeah. Hopped in your mentions? Yeah. What do you say?

Check for yourself.

The Whispers, is that part of the Mike Ryan exclusive information that you give on Twitter for a price every month?

There is a mental warfare aspect of this, that I've been at war for three months, and if those whispers are already reaching that building to the point that the offensive coordinator is hopping in the men's cheese, I'd say that's a big fat mission accomplished.

Wait a minute. All right. You skew the lines between journalism, and I want to get into this because we've got another test case here in front of us. Zaslow, I need a ruling from you on whether something else that's gone viral is or isn't journalism because we've got a story that a lot of people are talking about. But Mike Ryan is in this weird between insider and guy who knows the business, an investor in the hurricanes, and information broker, but not tethered to journalism's rules in any way. He's sitting here saying, and I don't know what this happens to know or what it is, whispers, whatever. It sounds like he's saying Indiana's cheating and that the defensive coordinators in his menchis, in his DMs, excuse me, that's different. The menchis are different.

Menchis are out there for public consumption. Jeremy has a tweet.

Little quote tweet. Mike Mike tweeted, I'll spare Indiana from the narrative. It's not my place to say if they do or don't, but in case they do, I'll spare them the time and effort and reveal our greatest secret. We're running a gap.

And Indiana's defensive coordinator, quote, tweeted Mike and said, Thank you, sir.

We'll meet you there.

Do you see my response to it?

He says, Best of luck, coach. May you continue to catapult your team to new heights.

Did you get it? Do you get it? If you don't get the catapult reference, that's on you.

So Mike Ryan would have you believe during this victory lap of his that he's playing a different game than everyone else. This is going to be really annoying to people who already hate Miami for a number of reasons that are not Mike Ryan. Mike Ryan gets to be not only a guy who goes into the Champions relationship game being right all season, but he's also telling the defensive coordinator, Indiana and our heisman, Okay, it's coming up the middle, and it's 50 pounds heavier than you. Now what?

Doesn't the defense coordinator have to be a little bit above this?

That's what I'm saying. If you're just trying to rile folks up and inside of 24 hours, the defensive coordinator... Look, Cory Heatherman is not tweeting Mike Epps. That's what I'm I'm calling you.

Zazlo, where are we, please, on this journalism story? Oh, Tony's back, though. Wait a minute. What should we do here, Zazlo? Make an executive call here. Should we go to the journalism story of the moment that has gone viral that everyone's talking about, or should we go to Tony outside of plaything?

Journalism.

I'm sorry, Tony. Stay right there. Go ahead and put Tony in picture-and-picture. Tony, if you want to also just wander around so that we can see your interactions without any sound, that's fine. Zazl has made his ruling, and he wants to talk journalism instead of play things. What is the story, Zazl? I'm sorry, Tony. I'm being told he has a guest he was going to bring in. Okay, now- Who cares what Zazl has to say about journalism?

Who cares?

Who's the guest, the clerk at No, so here's the thing.

I'm a big proponent of personal freedom, and I think what we're doing out here is wrong. They didn't let us film inside for obvious reasons. People that may be patrons of this establishment want some anonymity. They don't want a big camera in the face saying, Hey, what do you think about the canes this week? There's been multiple people that have been walking out of cars that have looked at me a little funny. I don't like that. I'm with that. We're not going to go inside there. Plus, we can't. But we will be showing people coming in and out. But we did have someone come in and say, Hey, you guys are playing things? I'm heading over there right now. I guarantee you there are multiple people sitting in their car right now, afraid to walk in because the door would be being been.

I mean, would you? Yeah.

I got no shame in my game. Yeah. No, again, I don't like that. I don't like what we're doing.

I do a cartwheel in there. Chris, how I would love the visual of just you striding confidently into a sex shop over Tony's shoulder. All right, so we're not going to get inside, and you're not going to be able to ask any hurricanes fans about anything because there are too many people near the sex shop that don't want to be seen.

A and B. I actually have... Yeah, you can go. There's an old lady here trying to get through. Thank you. She was a patron. I don't know if you saw her walking through the back there. I have a hurricanes fan right here. We have a University of Miami student. Come over here, buddy. What's your name? Oscar. Oscar, what's up, buddy? He was watching the show, he was listening to the show getting ready. He said, Oh, they're at Play Things? He's like, I live right down the street. I know exactly where that is. So he says he's been to enough games where he's going to get a free ticket as a student to the Nattie. How do you feel about that, buddy?

Oh, I'm ecstatic. I just wanted us, at the beginning of the season, to get into the playoffs, maybe win a game.

This is the craziest thing ever.

What do you think about Mike Ryan? That's enough. Okay, thank you.

What just happened? I don't understand what just happened between him and Mike Ryan. Where are you? Do you not like how Mike Ryan He just cleared his throat.

He's embarrassing.

Get his name. We're taking those tickets away.

Do you not like how Mike Ryan represents the Canes?

I'm going to be honest. I don't know who Mike Ryan is. There we go. That's embarrassing.

Okay, that's fair. This guy, Brandon Marshall. That's fair.

That's a golden cane.

He says, Who are you? Brandon Marshall? He's a Golden Cane.

Really? I used to work for the Hurricane Club.

I would help out at the Golden Canes. I worked for them for the 24th season.

This guy's electric.

Pam Ward last year. I would work game days, and I helped in the Golden Canes and in the champion cane.

What do you think about Joe Zagaki? Again, no clue who that was.

I've had an objective. Well, he goes to the game.

He's not listening. This guy, he's not listening.

I'm done. It's not his fault. I'm done.

Not his fault.

You're an imposter. Run him off of the street. Get him away from the pleasure center.

Ask him about Josh Darro.

You got to go, buddy. I'm sorry. Thank you so much. Get him out of here. Go, Canes.

But you guys are offended. Look. Yeah.

He was going to throw up the Utah Uds one.

Fraud. Okay. Let me- Hey, look.

He's going to Google all of them right now. Start with Joe Zagaki.

Never seen that guy before, my love.

Keynes' voice. That Keynes' voice on Twitter.

If that guy worked in the Hurricane Club, never saw him.

Hey, look. I Again, we're trying to teach the younger generation about the things that were handed down to us, that being the radio voice of the Miami Hurricanes. For multiple sports, by the way, not just football. He does baseball, he does basketball. Tony, what's the sale things has got going on.

What's the sale they got going on back there?

Yeah, they got a nice Bogo. They got a nice Bogo. I don't know exactly what the Bogos are, though. Let me see. Hold on. Let me walk over.

Yeah, let's see what the discount is here.

They also have popsicles. They have popsicles in there. I don't know what that's about. The guy was a fan of our show.

He just wanted to be on television. Tony, go in there and grab a popsicle. Go in there and grab a popsicle.

You want me to go in there and grab a popsicle? Okay. And a flush light. He sounds so excited about that. I can't take the cam in there.

It's unfair to use his voice.

You want me to go in there and grab a fleshlight?

Just grab a fleshlight. No, just a popsicle. Just grab a popsicle. Thank you.

Okay, let me ask to see if they got it.

Bella's got two Ls.

See if they got it. There's a big sale going on. What is the bit of journalism that we just got overruled by Tony on? Keep him up in the picture in pictures.

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Dan Levatard. Cheaters never prosper. Stugatz.

I ain't cheating. This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugatz.

All right, so this is actually a huge story right now.

There was NFL playoffs this weekend, which were really fantastic. And the biggest story actually took place in the Jacksonville Jaguars postgame press conference. All right, so, Dan, check this out. Liam Cohen, he's the head coach of the Jaguars. This is right after their loss. Their season is over. And give this a listen here. This is a credentialed reporter, and here is her question.

I just want to tell you, congratulations on your success, young man. You hold your head up, all right? You guys have had a most magnificent season. You did a great job out there today. You just hold your head up, okay? Ladies and gentlemen, Duval, you the one, all right? You keep it going. We got another season, okay? I appreciate it. Take care and much continued success to you and the entire team. Thank you, man.

This is a very polarizing issue on Twitter right now. Very polarizing.

Among journalists?

Yes.

Oh, it's just a nice lady saying nice things. We play our game.

Is That Journalism? That's All right.

That's our imaging?

Yeah, that's it.

Well, no. He gives his ruling, and then we have it. Can you play it one more time? We can do it together, guys. Is That Journalism?

Journalism.

The answer is That is not journalism.

All right, a shocking controversy. Not journalism.

Not journalism. All right. Truly shocking. Not journalism. That's good imaging. That is not journalism. Not Not journalism.

You know in the lexicon, you have unk? That was the Auntie. Got to listen to the Auntie.

Just a lovely woman coming in offering perspective.

Not journalism.

I would say it's nice energy, though. She brought a little kindness. His offseason is going to be rough.

And people got mad. It really fanned the flames when Adam Schefter. Adam Schefter tweeted out, he quote-tweeted that video, and he tweeted out, This is an awesome exchange between the reporter and Liam Cohen. And then everyone, all the journalists, they got mad.

Well, it's not that either.

Not journalism.

It's not journalism, but it's also not an awesome exchange. It's just a woman being nice.

Schefter thinks it's awesome.

It's not that either. Not journalism. You mentioned that. Stop badgering me with that. That's not encouraging. That's not encouraging. Where's Tony? Let's see what Tony's doing. Tony continues to be outside. Did you grab a popsicle? Not journalism. I got it. I got it.

Did not grab a popsicle, Dan, but mira que yo resuebo. Okay, I went inside, talked to the nice lady at the front. We're going inside. Let's go.

Oh, this is for a minister. Let's go. Now we're getting somewhere.

All right, so, Tony, more-No, McGill loves this shop.

So, Tony, just walk around, and if you want to interact with anybody, you can. But also just give us all your-Oh, those are the furries. Give us all your football takes as you wander around in there. Just all of them.

Okay. All right, we'll start. This is a Halloween shop? We'll start in NFL. It's a bit of a mix. They got costumes. They got certain things going on here, obviously.

Tony, just plow ahead. If there's anything you want to interact with, you interact. But in the interim, just give me football analysis, please. Nothing else.

Yeah, okay.

Here's your big moment, Tony.

The Rams. Yeah, the Rams, I think, like we talked about, could be one of the best teams in the NFL, but they have a weird thing with the Panthers where they just can't figure them out. I don't know if it's that the Panthers have their number or if Stafford just doesn't like playing in Carolina. I don't know what it is. But now that the Panthers are out of the way, I think the Rams can go on a run. What do we think about this? Bow and arrow? It's a little cow-girl situation there. I don't know. There's a lot of costumes here. It's a lot of costumes. Ben Johnson is probably one of the biggest winners, not only of the weekend, but the entire season. Because when you have somebody who goes interdivision and then all of a sudden can do what he Can do. Here, hold this for a second. When somebody can do what he can do, which is basically completely flip. I don't think you're using that right. More quiet. What?

Are you being reprimanded? At a holster, something else. You're being reprimanded for just wandering?

No, I was told to not show certain things, which is fine. We're in the costume section, which is perfectly fine. No, what I was going to say was, not only do you have the plus of taking away a divisional opponent's best asset because they told me to be more quiet. There's people actually, patrons of the store that are looking for stuff.

I don't think that that mask is supposed to go over your eyes. I think you're wearing that wrong.

Look a little like the hamburger.

What?

They have a picture of people over their face.

You can't just put that back. Multiple uses.

Yeah, you own that now.

That's yours.

No, I'm not buying this.

You can't put that back. Somebody else didn't want to wear that. Be smelling your fumes in that?

I can put this back in a second. What are you talking about?

That's gross.

Don't do that. People have been wearing that thing for 69 years.

We approve it.

What do you think? There's rules here. This is a no holds bard place.

What can't you show? They told me what I can't you show? He just said it's a no holds bard.

I can't show the obvious thing. What? I can't show the obvious thing. I've been already told by the higher ups. I didn't confirm nor did I.

We did two shows on that a few weeks ago.

You can sell them at a CVS, but you can't show them.

I think it's porn. It can't be any sex toy-related things he can't televise.

No, it is. No, it is. It is ST-related. It's absolutely ST-related. Why did you do that? Rose told me, Hey, you can't do that. So okay. Do what?

All right. St? Let's keep breaking down the play off. Sex toy.

Keep giving us your football analysis. Were you done with Ben Johnson or do you have more? What is that?

I have a clown horn here.

What is that?

It's a clown horn. Who likes Dan, don't act like you don't know about that. Dan, don't act like you don't know about that.

Where does that go?

It's 799.

You became John Maddon all of a sudden.

That's such a great bit. Sexual John Maddon. Boom.

Okay, so the best thing about Ben Johnson is leaving the lines in a lurch, going over to Chicago, saying that he hates Matt Lafleur for some oblivious reason. We have no idea why, and then beating him and then giving him the handshake of like, See you later.

It's so good. It's so good. The bears coach does not respect the packers coach and came close to getting him fired with three brutal questions. I missed that. Because you never see that. Am I wrong or overreacting when I say that's one of the great football collapses of all time in the playoff?

But points-wise, yeah, they were up by 15 in the fourth quarter. Yeah.

Paint the picture, Tony. All right. No, we're walking through more of... How do I say it? A bit of more of 50 Shades of Gray situation on this side. Put something on. If you catch my Which put something on.

It's not a put on thing. It's not a put on thing. It's just some money ears behind you if you want to take those for a walk. All right, one more football take. You have earned one more football take. Be careful. Don't show anybody on camera. That's Rose. That's just Rose. Okay.

No, we're working. We're working.

Does Rose have any thoughts? Does Rose have any thoughts? She can't be enjoying it in there.

I'm sure she has a few thoughts.

50% off.

Dan?

That's a blowout sale. Can I pique your interest? Oh, my God. Give me a couple of those. Can I pique your interest?

Wait a second.

Do you want the Crafty Wish?

Dan's into this section right here.

Oh, I got Dan's kit, the Wizard Kit. Dan, you show up in the Wizard Kit.

You're going to dominate. I should do the livestream dressed as the Sexual Wizard. Bring me one of those costumes back here so that we can, a week from now, build up to this purchased... Get my size, Tony. Make sure to get my size. Thank you. Oh, yeah.

What size is that?

Are you going to go over to Columbus?

No, I'm not going to Columbus today.

Because I think it'd be funny if you got picked up by a school with some of these things in your car.

Tell them, Play things let you in. Why won't Columbus let you in?

Would that be funny to you? It's a good point, actually. The have been out there. We're looking to maybe Wednesday or Thursday being able to do something at Columbus. I've already got boots on the ground working things out. So again, Dan, is there any other costume you would like that would make sense? No. They have a count. Would you want to be a count?

Well, just... One, not two. I don't want you to...

Count.

What's that, Rose? He's right about that.

Did you just do the count from Sesame Street? Was that just your count from Sesame Street impersonation.

Is there another count?

Dylan Fuentes. Tony, thank you for your report from over there. Thank you for your bravery and journalism. You did much better journalism than that woman in Jacksonville. Thank you for being on with us. Hey, Go Dolphins. What's that? Oh, is that a Go Dolphin thong?

No, it's a garland. They're selling garlands here now. It should be a thong. That's nice. You can wear it as a thong if you want, Dan. I can bring this back for you.

Well, actually, now you see, Tony, you laugh, But my next step on this, I'll keep escalating this so that ultimately you're just doing a report wearing nothing but that outside of some place like Bird Bowl in Miami. I'll keep escalating this. Do you realize what a Pay off it would be if at the live stream, you debued nude reporter, Tony, reporting live off the cane?

That's a good gimmick. Not journalism.

No. All right. Bad idea. Thank you, Tony. I appreciate the time. I appreciate the reports. Get into Columbus before the end of the week.

Okay, I will.

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. Up jetzt, HBO Max. Dan Levatard. Kovik the Frog here, live from Metalog Media Studios here in Miami.

Stugatz.

The Germans are advancing on France in World War II. This This is the Dan Levatard Show with the Stugats.

Again, I'm going to just say to all of you, I don't think I have this wrong, right? Batshit Crazy Football Week over the last week that makes the sport continue to rise and pop where you don't think the games can get any better or more dramatic or tense or. And one story you got that just spills off to the side of our show is, whoa, what a bad ending for A. J. Brown in Philadelphia. He's definitely done there, right? But What a terrible way for all of that to escalate. We burn through these guys pretty good, right? Todd Worley, it's not that long ago that he was playing football and was a key to the championship with the Rams and then gets hurt and Belichick wins 13 to 3, and it sends Jared Goff somewhere else. And then the whole league changes over the next few years. You have these small windows in which to win. These guys get burned up. Lamar Jackson is not the player that he was already. That happened very We churn. Justin Herbert, they're going to get him killed in Los Angeles because these rock-hard specimens who collide for a living and train their muscle bodies to make violent collisions.

These people who are maniacal about winning and at almost any physical cost. They're caring deeply. Nobody questions load management here, right? They're caring deeply on every Sunday and Monday, and every weekend, they exceed our expectations where the Rams, what I'm telling you is, I believe, the best team in the league, is laboring like that against what I believe empirically, mathematically through point differential, is the worst NFL playoff team there's ever in in the Carolina Panthers, minus 69 or whatever, 67 for the season. That game is that, and then it just kicks off a crazy weekend that has you disappointed because Patriots Chargers wasn't that. Patriots Chargers in the second half is just one healthier team grinding to dust an unhealthy one because nobody can be what the 49ers are. We overcome all injuries under all circumstance. No one understands how we do it. All our stars can be physically unable to perform. And as an added bonus, Trent Williams can be washed. And we're going into Philadelphia and we're beating Lane Johnson, and we're ending Siriani's season with him on the sidelines explaining why him and A. J. Brown are yelling at each other. And that's one soap opera gone.

And it was a perfect football week for drama, for story lines, for stakes, for close games, for Josh Allen overcoming Jacksonville, for it ending that way, where Josh Allen is the veteran now, and Trevor has to learn some things about what you do with 59 seconds because Josh Allen saw what Mahomes did with 13 of them.

Can I ask you, and you saw it here, if you were watching the game where Siriani and A. J. Brown got into it and Big Dom comes running in and he separates the two of them. Big Dom is the security guard. Remember, he got thrown out of a game last year. Big Dom wears a headset during the game?

What is that? I think he got promoted.

To an offense coordinator?

No, I think he's proper staff. No.

That's your takeaway from all of this? Yes, that's right. That's your takeaway from the AJ Brown experience in Philadelphia, where we've watched somebody be a very good to great receiver for two different teams the last time? He was awful yesterday. Well, yes, he was awful yesterday. Those blues were loud because it all works when you're winning championships.

But it's been an exhausting season dealing with A. J.

Brown's constant- He dropped a 25-yard pass right over the middle in the fourth quarter.

I mean, this stuff is it was unsettling to a team, and it was unsettling last year, and they found a way to navigate through it. But the charm wears off when you start dropping those 20-yard passes that impact your season.

I actually heard the announcement, and I don't remember because I was listening to it in my car, I heard the announcement go immediately on one of the drops to, You're paid too much money to drop that football. Go straight to that because whatever A. J. Brown, man, it must be unpleasant. To be A. J. Brown at the center of that particular fan base when it feels entitled to excellence and likes the way Jason Kelsey represents the brand better than A. J. Brown. Those two drops as punctuation on his career are the worst possible punctuation. He would have been better off being physically hurt in the game than leaving Philadelphia that way, where at the end they can say, Oh, good riddance, man. You've been this all season. When that guy, Zazlo, when he was in Tennessee, was the last player in Tennessee who mattered. A legitimate receiver superstar somehow in Tennessee, goes over to Philadelphia, gets some of the popularity of Saquon Barkley in the short time that he was there at the beginning Because who doesn't love somebody who can physically be bigger and better wide receiver than everyone else, and then burned it all down throughout the entirety of this season?

I totally understand. Going at A. J. Brown, Jalen Hertz's performance maybe looks a little bit better. Maybe they win that game if A. J. Cee Brown makes a couple of plays. The thing that fascinates me about the Eagle season is how Jalen Hertz can go multiple second-halves without completing a pass. How he's become basically a running quarterback in college that you're hoping can throw an accurate pass. He's trying to play like Tim Tebo out there.

You guys saw the stats. Look, if I make you this scared of the turnover, okay, I mean, think about what we're talking about in Philadelphia. Their coaches are meathead, and they've won for several years now, and a pretty good Chief's team because they're more physical than everyone in the sport. When they're healthy, the push-push is an unstable play. Pretty giant advantage in a sport where the margins are this small and you see how many fourth and shorts are missed or how many fourth and twos people have to throw for because the chargers can't get two yards. But these people can just every time make a drive, something that is four downs, we can get 10 yards because we'll get it to third and fourth and one, and then we'll just punch you in the face. That style football over two seasons when Lane Johnson has played has been like some ridiculous 40 and 2 or whatever. And what it's done is it's made that team so afraid of the turnover because the turnover, the feeling is the only thing that can beat us. Our defense is good enough that we will continue to punch you in the face.

And they had more three and outs than any team in the sport this year. Because while even Carolina is going for it on every fort down and Carolina is playing reckless football, the Philadelphia Eagles are playing scared, champion, protect the football, football, because they want to believe in their defense. And what's left of their ability to beat you on third and fourth and one with these plays, these stupidities that change the balance of the game are in football, are going to get the rules changed on them. But if not dominating an era, they won a whole lot because they had a play that was more physical than anyone else in football. Got a top five sexual things Dan has said since we left Tony at play things. Can we do that while we go to Tony checking out? No, he's checked out and Tony's gone. Oh, I missed my window there. Number five. That's too bad. Rams. Number four, minus 69.

I picked up on that. Number three, grinding Number two, these rock-hard men.

Number one, load management. All in a three-minute span, right after we let them go. Not even. 90 seconds.

You said overcome as well.

You're cooking We can stop with the touche push stuff, too, right?

I'm in touche push.

Because I think they said the sad. It had been six of the last 10 that they had successfully converted on a touche push, which means they're being stopped. When Lane Johnson isn't in there, their entire team is impacted. And it's not the unstoppable play that you guys made it out to be anymore.

Trent Williams being washed is not something that I had. And I will ask you again, please, all you people analyzing football all over America, and many of you are doing it so very well. Chris Long, Dominique Foxworth, Mina Kimes. Please explain to me how it is, because the entire sport has changed, where you have all of these people going for it on fourth down, and you're getting the ball at the 35-yard line. And the game has a Cam Little in it who yesterday misses for the first time in 20 times. But you have the margins being this small, and you have the ability with all of the precisions that you have there for the games to be so close as to be crazy, right? That the Rams and Carolina are playing that football game twice, it's as though, twice, where any bounce changes the result of that game. The Philadelphia Eagles have been better than everyone physically in that sport for two seasons. This year, They went three and out more than any team in the sport. And Mike is sitting here telling you, really, we're going to keep putting Jalen Hertz in more of a box.

Ajay Brown is going to get frustrated by that. And then Ajay Brown is going to have that game to punctuate his career. How is it that the Philadelphia Eagles collapse on their face here, and we still expected them to get to the Super Bowl based on toughness without understanding that if you're trying to be physical for something that is two seasons more physical than everyone else in a sport like that, the wheels have to come off of that. You can't keep being more physical than everyone in that sport, play more games than everyone in that sport, do more Push pushes than anyone in that sport. You're going to run through the bodies if A. J. Brown eventually is going to... Somebody explained to me how it isn't just understood. Well, of course, their offense is less than it was because how many times do you want to run Saquon Barkley? How many times do you want to keep doing this before the wheels fall off the thing? When I just saw what happened to Harbaugh, Harbaugh, it's not a collapse of genius there. His offensive line didn't and shouldn't have been in the playoffs. That's not a playoff offensive line.

But if you're going to be fit, if the game is to be more physical, four plays in 10 yards, Zaz, if that's... Because everyone's going to be a buck fifty. I'm going to go for it on third and four. All I need to do is get five yards here. If that's how we're going to play football, how do more people not understand that the Philadelphia Eagles are dead today because all of their bodies gave out. If Kevin Durant's body falls apart at the end of those four years, this sport is more physical than any of them.